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wintersmitth · 2 months

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I once got called xenophobia for saying that a whole lot of Americans are American centric and frankly culturally imperialistic... I'm American myself, so I guess I'm xenophobic against me and not just... observing something true

Anyway, here's my point in relation to what you were saying

It seems that for many American's it's just impossible to conceive of the idea that no everywhere has American dynamics when it comes to things like race, and that what we see as white might not mean shit

Like... I don't get it, cause it only takes a couple seconds of paying any attention at all to notice things like the discrimination that places like the UK tend to have towards Eastern Europeans, that clearly skin color doesn't really matter there... and... it's also pretty damn clear that for all the talk russia does about "russian speaking Ukrainians" they don't actually give a damn about them cause they see Ukrainians as inferior

Just don't get it, don't get how lefties here can talk about cultural relativism and then not... apply it... and actually... acknowledge that not everywhere in the world has a US cultural lens, that not every dynamic everywhere is the same

Drives me nuts

Also I suppose my real point here is just trying to say that you're so right about all this privilege talk... I've been following since this invasion started, I've been actually paying attention and learning about what russia's been doing since the collapse of the soviet union

And I've also been paying attention to how Ukraine dropped off the map after like... one, maybe two months. News stopped talking about it, and the majority of Americans never were paying attention even then

We had mike johnson dip his hands elbow deep in blood as he refused to put aid up for a vote for month and months

...and then Ukrainians are privileged

"This is how they talk about a white hospital being bombed", they didn't fucking talk about... about the maternity hospital, or that concert hall with "children inside" or... dear god the universe would end before I could write everything russia's done that almost no one in the west talked about

"Imagine if russia did this!" ...they did, not just in Ukraine but in Syria, and Georgia, and Chechnya. I wasn't paying attention back then, but I'm paying attention now, and that's just what the russian military does

Fucks sake, you don't have to compare victims of genocide, you can support them both. The correct number of dead civilians is zero

It feels like I'm going crazy with how noone can understand that... or... more like they're all going crazy and I can't fucking get through to people. Or like... for me even if I didn't already dislike the GOP here, I couldn't vote for them cause of how they treat Ukraine, but meanwhile you have all these people talking about not voting out of spite and... they can't seem to see the russian propaganda oozing out of those words, like literally there's a 100% chance a lot of the "people" saying this are kremlin bots and troll farms (like 2016)

(And bonus complaint, I thought we all cared about Iranians... but... it feels like we forgot them too, and worse still it feels like some people are willing to support the Iranian government to own the US and... I... I really don't fucking know what's wrong with people)

So sorry for the weird and long ask, I just want you to know that I hear exactly what you're saying and you're so right

These people don't get that they're still doing American exceptionalism except we're the best at being bad, and that they make every fucking thing about America always forever

They can't fucking exist without projecting American race politics on to every situation. They can't hear about people being killed in another country without talking about how sad it is for them that this'll be WW3 (it won't... if you were paying attention you'd get how it won't be)

You're right to feel how you do, you're right to say "what privilege?" because there's none. They act like everyone's fawning over Ukraine and giving them special treatment, but I'm watching and I've been watching and we're only barely drip feeding any amount of support and then everyone wrings their hands about if we've upset russia and might get nuked, after all... if we sent you stingers we might get nuked... wait... that's from the start of the war, sorry I meant if you were allowed to blow up russian air bases with US weapons we'll get nuked

It's sick how Ukrainians get treated, and the people who talk about how Ukrainians are treated don't even pay a moment of attention

Slava Ukraine

Thank you for this message.

You are so absolutely right on every account there.

I suppose the most insane thing for me is people comparing genocides. You said right there: the correct number of victims is zero. And honestly I can't expect everyone to fact check everything, but the way people are misusing that damn UN report is malicious. It's meant to undermine our struggles, it plays right I to russian propaganda.

There is so much I got to say, but none if it is a coherent at the moment.

It's infuriating how people on internet go "Look at them talking about white hospital" well first of all this is by far not the first hospital Russia hit. Has been hitting. Word outside doesn't know 1/3 of what is actually happening here.

And then we get vilified for talking about our losses?! That's some privilege.

There's another message in my sitting which I got a few days ago and it is something along the lines "fuck you for telling people to vote for Biden he's committing genocide" and I'm just. Sitting here thinking that I don't want to be genocide either.

Anyhow. Yeah lots of Americans are so self centered it's insane. Even marginalized group, who seemingly should know a thing or two about never being listened to, brush away our words like nuisance. A few weeks ago I told some American scholar on twitter that writing USA has a war on its land is disrespectful to us living in actual warzone and got shut up with "white people always talk over black folk". The exchange had nothing to do with race. It's just systematic brutality and a threat of dying from a missile are different dangers ya kno.

Anyway, thank you for this message.

#sansael talks #anon ask

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alchemistc · 2 years

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Eddie practices his arguments with Steve.

The thing is -

Here's the thing. It's not that he's expecting an argument. So far every time either one of them have been irritated with one another, or pissed off about something, they usually just, like, talk about it and shit. Healthy-like, which is -

Totally fucking weird for Eddie My-Parents-Fought-As-A-Love-Language Munson and Steve Still-Figuring-Out-Its-Okay-To-Be-Loved Harrington. It's weird, it is, and Eddie can't help but wonder if Steve is just bottling shit up until it explodes out of him and he realizes that this thing they're doing just isn't worth it anymore.

So.

So Steve does this thing, right?

This thing where he rolls his jaw and sometimes it pops and it makes Eddie want to stick a curly straw up his nose and scramble his own brains. And he's such a fucking neat freak that every time he's over, he ends up rearranging Eddie's room - not even in purpose, just. He likes to touch things, and Eddie gets it, he does, but touching things usually leads to picking things up leads to setting them back down and before Eddie's had time to look up, Steve has swept empty beer cans into the trash and lined up Eddie's models in a neat row like they're troops readying for battle and since he's like a war buff they're always lined up like a little battalion which is cute but also frustrating as hell because - because Eddie's chaos is organized and now he can't find his fucking lyric journal with the song he's very much not ready for people to see, or know about, or -

The point. The point is Eddie has been gearing up to talk to Steve about it for three days now and he's now at the stage where he practices. Works out the scenarios, muddles through possibilities, tries to anticipate every way it could go tits up.

He's never - Steve is most of his firsts, and he knows it's dumb and romantic but he'd like Steve to be all of his lasts, too, and so what if that means he's pacing the length of the trailer (all the while perfecting his Steve-voicr, which has been a tough one to nail but he feels like he's getting there. He's smarter and more eloquent than he lets on, is Steve.) and arguing with himself. Resetting, back to the start, working through a disastrous turn where Steve accuses Eddie of cheating on him (nope, reset, Steve's well aware Eddie wouldn't, cut that from the options).

"And seriously, Eddie, how could you think I'd do that shit to you, you know -."

"What the hell?"

Eddie whirls.

Mike Wheeler is standing in his living room, staring at Eddie like he's grown a second head. Which. Shit. They haven't actually, like, told anyone that they're...doing whatever it is they're doing (There's things Eddie wants to call it, but he hasn't brought them up yet because they're terrifying and super fucking telling and even though he's pretty sure he and Steve are on the same page he doesn't want to presume) so the kids don't know. No one except Robin knows, and she's states away and busy so.

"What the hell right back, Wheeler, what are you doing here?"

"I left my chem textbook here last night. You said I could come get it."

And - sure, he definitely had, but he'd sort of been staring at the hollow where Steve's neck and shoulder met and imagining biting it when he said it, so -

"So you broke into my house?"

"The door was unlocked."

"So you walked uninvited INTO MY HOUSE?" And he's maybe hamming up the annoyance as cover, but Wheeler just stares at him.

"Are you practicing breaking up with Steve?" Wheeler asks without preamble, with zero inflection, not even a quirk of his brow, and Eddie -

Flounders, is a generous term for it. Really what he does is shriek, and cackle, and then cover it up with the weirdest laugh either of them have ever heard which covers nothing at all. "What are - why would you - what makes you think - listen, Michael, you can't just break into people's homes and accuse them of - of - what exactly are you accusing me of?"

"Of having really terrible taste in men, Eddie, where's my textbook?"

"I don't fucking know, Wheeler, Steve rearranges shit all the time so who the hell knows where he would have -."

"It's probably on the bookshelf, then," Mike says, and then squints. "Are you...practicing arguing with Steve?"

"How do you even -?"

"Neither one of you is subtle."

"Shut up, Wheeler."

"If that's how you talk to Steve it's no wonder you have to practice your arguments."

"I'm not - you're infuriating."

Mike squares him with a look that reminds Eddie of when he's calculating hit points and strategizing his next move. He frowns. Sighs. "I have like ten minutes before I have to leave. Steve doesn't think you're cheating on him, so let's start from the top."

---

"The kids know," Eddie tells Steve, fingers shifting in Steve's hair, and Steve's lashes flash as he looks up from Eddie's lap. Mike had been - well, Wheeler might be half a decade younger but he'd been pretty instrumental in helping Eddie nail down the right approach to "Please stop cleaning up my messes you're ruining everything." so another non-argument is in the books, and Steve had looked confused about it but he'd agreed to try not to move shit around at least.

("I'm still cleaning up all the trash, though, you live like a goblin."

"It's hot that you know what a goblin is, baby."

"Nerd.")

"Are you...okay with that?"

"Are you?"

"I asked first."

It's not that he doesn't want to answer, it's just.

Okay he doesn't want to answer. Jesus Christ, he'd used Mike goddamn Wheeler as his Steve stand in to practice an argument that hadn't happened and he's still scared to call Steve his -

"I... don't really know. What to tell them." And that's - shit, not what he meant to say, Jesus.

"What do you mean?"

Steve crinkles his nose, and Eddie hates how goddamn cute it is, because he really wants to just, like, boop the tip of it and then suck Steve off but -

Where's Mike Wheeler when he needs him?

("If you ever tell Steve about this I'll tell Will to TPK your party for the next ten campaigns."

"Why would I tell Steve I'm helping you save your relationship?"

"Brownie points. So you can hold it over Henderson's head. Blackmail."

"I used to be terrified of you, but you're actually super lame, honestly."

"Preaching to the choir, my friend.")

"I mean, what...what do we tell them we...are?"

"Are you freaking out about calling me your boyfriend?"

"...no."

He shifts, and Eddie's fingers slip through the strands of Steve's hair as he shuffles, scoots, sits up and twists to face Eddie.

"I am, right? I mean...you want me to be?"

Eddie hasn't practiced this conversation, because - because it's presumptuous, because it felt sort of like jinxing it, because -

"Yeah. Duh. Of course I - shit. Yeah. Yes."

Steve's smile is bright and a little knowing. "I have a confession."

"I'm not sure I want to hear it."

"Trust me, you want to."

"Okay fine," Eddie tells him, eyes on Steve's hand as he slots their fingers together. Eddie hooks his pinkie along the edge of Steve's sleeve. "Twist my arm, why don't you?"

"I'm actually kind of glad they already know. I've been trying to figure out how to tell them for a while. I've been, like - creating scenarios in my head to try to figure out how they're going to take it."

There's - okay, so Eddie's thinking a lot of things, right at this moment, like how Steve apparently also creates mind-scenarios to play out before a situation happens, and how they might want to test out their creativity in other areas, actually, and that derails his whole train of thought for a moment, but "How long?"

"How long what?"

"Have you been trying to figure out how to tell them?"

Eddie's not insecure, exactly, but he is a big fan of knowing what people he cares about think of him and how often they think of him and -

"I mean, since, like, the first time I kissed you?"

Eddie is stupid crazy about Steve Harrington. He's fully fucking feral for this man, honestly, it's dumb. Absolutely ridiculous.

"I'm in love with you," Eddie tells him, and the tips of Steve's ears are pink.

"I know," he says, with a smarmy little grin because Eddie had admitted (under duress, and screw anyone who doesn't think a naked Steve Harrington in your lap is duress) he'd been obsessed with Harrison Ford for like a full year in his tweens, and Steve takes every opportunity to remind Eddie he knows.

"I'd also very much like to circle back to you creating scripts in your mind about telling the kids about us."

"Henderson's always a nightmare, I swear to god."

"We gotta teach him some humility."

"He respects you more than he respects me, you teach him."

"You gonna say it back?"

"Well not now," Steve says, and Eddie wants to bite him.

---

"I love you," Steve says, while Dustin and Mike and Max argue about who knew first.

Eddie hasn't practiced this one. "I know," he says, and Steve's brow quirks when Dustin catches the exchange and groans.

#steddie ficlet #eddie munson #steve harrington #mike wheeler jumpscare #but actually he's not all that bad #steddie fic #eddie munson x steve harrington

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thefirstlioveyou · 7 months

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What will Mike and Will's S5 Fight Be About?

Shawn Levy basically confirme/implied another angsty Byler fight for S5.

But, what will it be about? Some think it'll be about the painting, but personally, I don't think so at all. I believe the fight will be about Mike's internalized homophobia; Mike will be afraid to romantically be with Will and it hurts Will.

First off, I don't think Mike would be mad for him hiding his feelings or lying about the painting. The sole purpose of the painting lie is to open a gate way to Mike knowing how Will feels about him. It's a set up. Why would he be mad that it was Will who thought those amazing things about him? He's in love with Will.

Now, let's see the common traits that all Byler fights have:

miscommunication, but they both want the same thing

is about their relationship

mike projecting

happens pretty early on, episodes 3-4

triggered by a shift in their relationship/mike doing something

they are alone

It's pretty predictable that S5 will focus on Mike's feelings for Will and be in Will's position this time. He's gonna be a yearning, gay mess! However, it doesn't make sense to copy every little thing as that wouldn't bring anything new to the table. It would quite frankly feel lazy and boring.

I actually believe they will be honest about how they feel episodes 3-4 (after Mike discovers the truth about the painting, what would be the shift in their relationship), and it will be a very angsty scene rather than a happily-ever-after moment (for now). Here's how I picture it: Will wants a relationship with Mike, Mike wants one too, but he's reluctant to because of the shame and bit of denial still lingering.

As understanding as one can be in this situation, it's also hurtful to hear on the receiving end. I can imagine it makes Will very upset. After so long of waiting for Mike, waiting to see if his feelings could be reciprocated, he finally gets it but doesn't get to keep it because of the shame Mike feels. Will does indeed feel like a mistake for his sexuality but, as he also states, Mike makes him feel otherwise. So, if he heard the same person that makes him feel better for who he is, say he's wrong for being the same thing he is.... that would HURT Will terribly. In Will's eyes, he will truthfully believe Mike doesn't want him, even if in Mike's POV, he wants nothing more than Will. This is where the miscommunication comes in play.

This is a real thing that happens in many Queer relationships even to today, when one is ready and the other is not yet. There is no bad guy (unless cheating, abuse, etc is involved of course) in these type of situations. You can sympathize with both sides... Which makes this a perfect fight to watch as the audience; it wouldn't make you hate either of the characters.

Some people say Mike’s accepted his sexuality by the end of S4, but I feel like if he did, it wouldn’t really be a good set up for him to be Vecna’d in S5. His struggle with who he is and his relationship with El is crucial to S5. If we keep Mike struggling with his sexuality and his trauma regarding El, this gives a purpose for him to be Vecna'd, which is the perfect way to explain a lot of his character the past seasons. Similar to how Max escaped Vecna the first time, Mike would do something similar (with the help of others, of course). He will have to accept the mistakes he's made, accept past events that were out of his control and accept who he is, or let himself die. Rather than focus so much on saving others or being needed to others, he must save himself now, for himself. He has to finally believe he is the heart. Finally confronting and accepting what he can't change will bring his character and his relationships to a full circle. It would explain his dynamic with El and Will the whole series. He will finally have the self-confidence he lost.

As much as people want Byler to have an established relationship in S5, I don't think that's likely. With a fight already implied to happen again (most likely early on), it wouldn't make much sense? They're a slow burn on top of that... The season is building up to them being together, it's not them already together (at least I don't think so).

The writers can obviously find a different route, but I feel like this would work and fit well. It would save Mike's character perfectly and it connects with the Mike being vecna'd, or at least in danger, theories; It gives it more purpose.

I just can't really imagine what else the fight would be about. It has to be about their relationship and it has to be about it changing in some way. Mike's weird behavior still needs to be explained... so I would think the fight has to be connected to the reason for that behavior. The fight would then be about his internalized homophobia. And if it is, it has to be explicitly about it, not just subtext like S3 fight.

Rather than “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” and insulting Will, Mike straight up will have to be like, “I’m scared, what if this is wrong? I don’t know how to do this.” “This isn’t right.” This time Mike will be direct how he feels about HIMSELF, but Will would still be hurt because this is the same guy that made him feel better for being Gay…

If this is how the fight plays out, lord hold me because I won’t survive it😭😭😭

#writing this in one go with no revision #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #stranger things

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 8 months

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If a version of Midnight Sun existed for each following instalment of the Twilight series (New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn), what do you think they’d be called/what would you call them and what (new) scenes would be in them?

Anon, you speak my greatest dream. I want this in my life. If no one else does, then I am the sole person who does. If there is not one person who wants this, it means that I have died.

I need this.

But for now, I can only imagine (and no doubt fail miserably to what it would be in actuality).

New Moon

The thing is that Meyer would also want to call this New Moon for the reason that she called it New Moon for Bella: this is a book about hopelessness. Edward leaves, Bella's soulmate, she literally cannot survive without him and this book is her discovering "oh, yeah, I literally cannot survive without him" (and making friends with Jacob but let's be real Meyer was never that into that).

It's a book where the moon, the light, is gone.

For Edward, we have the same narrative, he tries to leave Bella for her own good, fails, has a miserable time, and comes crawling back only to find that he's made everything worse.

But because Edward is more dramatic, and to thematically work with Midnight Sun (named thus as Bella is the unexpected sunlight in what should be the darkest of Edward's nights) we have Polar Night which is the phenomenon opposite of Midnight Sun where instead of the sun never setting at all we have the night never ending.

As for what would be in it. My friend, my beautiful friend, everything would be in it.

We'd get the scene where Edward bullies his family into leaving, many of them having reservations, and then steals all Bella's photographs and tries and fails to steal the stereo out of her car. We'd get scenes of Edward fantasizing about Bella marrying and holding hands with MiKe NEWtoN and it being entirely too much for him. We get all of the birthday party, period, which from Edward's point of view would no doubt be insane.

We have Edward so fucking depressed that he feels he's bringing the family down and chooses to leave on the vague pretext of catching Victoria. Then he doesn't catch Victoria and loses her in Mexico but is so depressed he just keeps going south until he hits Brazil.

Where he stays, and per what he says to Bella (which is undoubtedly not the entire truth) he was fucking miserable and did nothing for months. Did he have a Hallucination Bella who told him not to eat human food because it'd make him sick? Did he write a rock opera about Bella Swan only to realize it didn't live up to real life and burn it in a fit of despair and anger? What about the family calling to check in? We know that happened, Rosalie could reach Edward and he answered, so did they just call and quietly try to ask if Edward's coming back home or not? You know? Anytime? Edward?

And then of course his pleading for death with the Volturi, being told no, planning his elaborate massacre-suicide before settling on good old suicide without any murder and Bella being alive and that whole debacle from his point of view including "OH NO OTHER MAN MOVED IN" when he realizes Jacob's... kind of... a thing...

Everything would be new in part because we see so little of Edward and given the insanity in Midnight Sun that was never in Twilight I can't even guess to what Edward got up to for months in Rio.

It could be fucking anything.

Eclipse

Or "Edward did a bad thing and is now very nervous" the novel. As for what it's call, this is less clear as we have to go with the sun/moon themes here, and Eclipse is already taken. If we're allowed weather related events maybe "Eye of the Hurricane" as there's a storm out there and this book is about Edward barely holding his shit together. This is his nightmare scenario in every way.

Bella has a new love interest, a friend she believes is platonic who is very interested in her, and worse, Edward actually does admire and is hands down in Edward's opinion the better man for her to be with. Bella's changed when he was gone and is now an adrenaline junky, what else about her has changed? How much did he miss? She's involved in werewolves who all hate Edward, for good reason, and want her to leave him, for good reason. Edward has discovered that he actually can't leave Bella, Alice was right, even though he wants to be that strong desperately. Bella got the family to agree to turn her and they'll do it, Edward's barely gotten her to agree to be turned by him instead, but she's hemming and hawing about marrying and committing to him and she wants him to bang him (which will likely lead to her death)

Edward is straight up not having a good time, bro.

So, we'd get Edward's insane plans to keep Bella and Jacob apart, his meeting Bella in the road after her looking like he'd love nothing more than to pull The Terminator where he chases her car down. We get Edward's increasing nervousness that Bella "wants to be with him forever" but "doesn't want to marry him" (which for Edward, understandably as he doesn't have Bella's background, is something that just doesn't compute). And there's Jacob, kissing Bella, warming her up at night, thinking very dirty things when Edward's sitting right there internally screaming.

And of course, offscreen things with the family, likely venting about the Denali who are leaving them to die because they won't let them kill the children Native Americans, wondering if they're all going to die in this fight, even more of the tent scene with Jacob (which I'm sure, somehow, I'm sure, got very homoerotic in there). Probably sobbing to Alice "I fucked up" and then hating Rosalie BECAUSE THIS IS ALL HER FAULT HISS HISS.

And of course, what we know he sees from Bree and perhaps the discussion with the family that Bella never got to be privy to.

And I imagine a lot of fantasies of Bella pregnant with Jacob's beautiful babies.

Breaking Dawn

I'm going to bow out for this one too, Meyer would want to name it that. Maybe we get "Hailey's Comet" or something, in that Edward has related Bella to a comet streaking across the bleak sky of his life and this is him learning to accept to be happy and perhaps good things are allowed to happen to him.

But anyways.

I mean.

We get Breaking Dawn.

We get Edward gearing himself up for sex and asking the family how to bang a woman. We know he did this. Canonically he confesses to Bella, in the weirdest manner possible, that he asked his entire family how to do it (and it made it clear that Carlisle didn't really approve and was pretty :/ and "don't do it" about all of it). We get the family probably watching Alice like hawks because they're waiting for her to tell them if Bella lived or died through intercourse. We get Edward interrogating the maid in Portuguese and god knows what they even said to one another but it had to be wild.

We get Edward planning Bella's abortion, the betrayal by Rosalie yet again, and then more planning of her forced abortion with Jacob and his opinion on Jacob turning from "respected rival" into "my only friend".

Then we get Edward's complete flip on Renesmee which must have been... I don't even know. But he'd be thinking she's the spawn of Satan before that (in the most Edward manner possible) and then that she's Jesus after that (in the most Edward manner possible).

Then of course there's "my son, Jacob" and honestly probably fantasizing about an adult Renesmee pregnant with Jacob's beautiful babies. Let's be real here. and just...

Look.

I can't predict this.

What we saw of Breaking Dawn was already insane and this would only be more so because it's Edward. There's so much we don't see as Bella pays 0 attention to the other vampires and to the family at large and Edward would just...

I have no idea.

It would just be madness.

TL;DR

I need this.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

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princess-glassred · 1 month

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Imagine the losers club having to do an anti bullying PSA for school. Richie and Bev play the bullies, Eddie is the victim, Stan is the narrator, Bill writes it, Ben directs/edits it, and even though Mike doesn't go to school with them they let him hold the boom mic. Also Georgie begs Bill to let him help out too so he begrudgingly lets him be an extra.

Richie is late to set and nobody can get a hold of him until he saunters onto set in a shitty Henry Bowers cosplay, complete with awful mullet wig that is really just two wigs his mom sewed together for him. Bro walked up to set looking like It the musical Henry.

Everyone's acting is really stitled and bad since they're literal children, Bev is the only one who knows how to emote. It's got all the typical 1980's cheesy video effects and music cues you'd expect. Bill keeps rewriting the ending because he can't decide how to give Richie and Bev's characters comeuppance for picking on Eddie. When they finally do get a good take the camera dies so they gotta do it all over again.

It only gets worse when Henry drops by to be an asshole for no reason and he's so confused by Richie's costume that he just stares at him and abruptly leaves.

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dysfunctionalupsidedown · 2 months

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Mike Wheeler: Trauma, Insecurity, and "STurn" (Analysis)

In "From the Hair Chair: Finn Wolfhard | Stranger Things", which is available on the official Stranger Things YouTube channel, Finn Wolfhard addresses the question, "What's going on with Mike Wheeler in Season 4?"

Mike Wheeler’s behavior in S4 has confused many, especially general audiences. However, if you look at the bigger picture, his progression (or regression) into the Mike Wheeler we know from S4 does make sense. To get a clear idea of what’s going on with him, we must look at the four seasons sequentially and with a more subtextual eye. We have a few physical puzzle pieces, and for now, we need to fill in the rest with our imagination based on evidence. A Mike point of view isn’t particularly needed to fully understand this, although it would be helpful for the GA and is something I want from S5.

In relation to this particular interview, I’ll examine Stranger Things (2016) for the past and present and “STurn” for the possible future. “STurn” actually does tell us a bit about how Mike’s self-identity arc will potentially continue in S5 and wrap up.

Also, I understand that “STurn” isn’t factual and is not even confirmed to be related to ST5. Though I don’t believe this entire analysis is instantly negated by my use of the playlist, as its only purpose here is to assume a hypothetical future. Aside from the Finn interview, everything else comes straight from the show and holds a reasonable explanation for Mike’s behavior up until the end of S4.

Remember, this post is for fun and speculation, and "STurn" is the best we have right now. Just keep in mind that I’m going into this analysis assuming it’s related to Mike Wheeler in S5. I could be entirely incorrect. Similarly, this interview isn’t wholly factual either, as it’s not what’s in the show, but it relates enough to what we’ve been shown of Mike for me to comment on.

This might be a lengthier post. Be warned.

If you’re still here and interested, I’ll get right into it.

Trauma

Finn first addresses how each of the characters are dealing with their past trauma, and that is a perfect way to describe Mike’s behavior in S4. I think a lot of people, especially the general audience, forget that, yes, while these are all characters, trauma does have the ability to affect them and change their behavior. There was an entire “Your original character before trauma vs. after trauma” trend on TikTok a minute back, and that wasn’t for nothing.

Mike, just in S1, witnessed one of his best friends go missing, watched this best friend turn up apparently dead (as well as see his “body”), went to his funeral, jumped off of a ledge, saw his other newfound friend disappear, and so much more. Don't even get me started on the following seasons.

Mike is afraid of losing. That’s what happened to him in S1. He lost. First Will, then El.

His fear of loss and determination to keep things in his life are significant parts of his character and have been since S1. That’s why he was so intent on finding Will. That's why he checked his walkie for El every night. That’s why he acts out in S3-S4. This isn’t an excuse for his behavior, but an explanation. It’s part of his trauma, and we see this in S4 with his fear of losing Will and El again: “Maybe I feel like I lost you or something,” and “I can't lose you,” respectively. I theorize that he fears being out of control regarding these things.

A lack of control also explains why he was so volatile to Will and El during and after Rink-O-Mania. For Will, Mike addresses this directly to him when he apologizes. It’s made evident to the audience that he acted cold in part because he thought Will was slipping away, but truthfully, he wasn’t aloof. He noticed everything about Will’s behavior and even managed to make the tragedy of that day about their friendship. Now, back to the apology, “About the last few days… You didn’t deserve anything… The truth is, the last year has been weird… Maybe I was worrying too much about El… And, I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something.” His defensiveness during the argument at the rink seems more like a trauma response than straight-up disinterest, which some people apparently think.

For El, I think this translates into him wanting her to need him. If El needs him, then there’s no way he can lose her, right? We know from the show that she doesn’t need him anymore. Mike also acknowledges this multiple times, and that thought terrifies him. In the last episode, he explains this to her, “... The truth is, El, I don’t know how to live without you… I can’t lose you, okay?”

Before Will shows Mike the painting in the van, Mike explains his dilemma. Will tries reassuring Mike, telling him that El will be fine, and Mike says he understands that. Mike then explains his true concern, “But what if after all this is over, she doesn’t need me anymore?... The truth is, when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone. It’s not fate, it’s not destiny, it’s just simple dumb luck. And one day, she's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep. I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet.”

Will continues to comfort him, focusing more on the loss aspect of Mike’s trauma, which is made evident here. But those lines also make it clear that Mike is afraid El will realize his inferiority to her and abandon him. This is a good transition into Mike’s insecurity.

Insecurity

I’ve seen people argue against what Finn says here because Mike is part of the somewhat “outcast” group at school. I don’t think trying to argue that takes away from the fact that Mike did, does, and will continue to try and lead a “normal” lifestyle. He’s a teenage boy with a girlfriend and a friend group he fits into. That’s normal. He’s trying to get by.

It was the same in S3. Mike was a kid with friends, a girlfriend, and a new want for maturity. It’s not unrealistic that the character is aging out of or into specific behaviors, especially ones that he’s previously exhibited. That leads us to his insecurity.

We’ve had hints of it starting as far back as S1E3, when Troy injures Mike, and he initially lies about it to El so that he doesn’t seem like a loser. Similarly, these themes pick up with Will in S3E3 during their fight in the rain, “...We’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

Curiously, Mike is shown to be especially “normal” in California. He dresses differently than he does in Hawkins and acts more aloof. As Argyle says, “It’s a shitty knock-off.” Skipping forward to the “... She's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep… at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet” line, and we have a good enough view of Mike’s internal conflict.

He is deeply insecure, and it seems particularly so around El. I don’t know if this was addressed in the show, and I wish we had seen some of Mike’s letters, but does El even know about the Hellfire Club? I don’t believe we’re given any indication that she does, which could imply that Mike kept it hidden from her. It wouldn’t be surprising, considering his complete attitude change in California. Also keeping in mind that Mike stopped playing D&D when he was with her in S3 and only continued to play in S4 while El was away.

Mike also displays this insecurity by choosing to distance Will. For what reason, I can’t say for sure, but it’s probably something “abnormal.”

Regardless, his insecurity ties into his fear of loss. The more normal he is, the more things he can maintain in life and the less he has to lose. Especially when it comes to El. It all stems back to his fear, not genuine malintent, and I see too many viewers misunderstand this.

It also works the opposite way, to a different and lesser extent. If he’s out of Hellfire Club, he loses his “normal teenage clique.” Aside from losing El completely as someone he profoundly cares about, if he loses El as a partner, he loses his girlfriend. That’s a blow to his normality.

Will is confusing to me. If he “loses” Will, just like he felt he did at the beginning of S4, he falls more into the pattern of trying to be normal. There’s no impact on his normality. By keeping Will at arms-length, Mike gravitated more towards his “shitty knock-off” version of himself. Something about Will brings out what Mike feels is abnormal in him, so by distancing himself, he could avoid it altogether. That’s likely in part what caused such a conflict at the beginning of S4: Mike’s inability to be “normal” while fully keeping Will in his life and vice versa, his inability to lose Will just to maintain normalcy.

"STurn"

We’ve focused on trauma and insecurity. Now, it’s time for self-identity. I think that's a theme in store for the future. I'll refer back to the “STurn” analysis I previously did.

Many of the songs on this playlist contain themes of a false identity. I’ll start with “Angst In My Pants” first. To quote my "STurn" analysis:

This song is about a person attempting to be someone they're not, suppressing who they really are, and it ultimately leading to dissatisfaction. The lyrics, "You can dress nautical / Learn to tie knots / Take lots of Dramamine / Out on your yacht" describe a faux lifestyle one lives that only serves to hurt them in the end: The idea of putting on a self-harming persona. This could be what Mike is going through in S5.

Next, we have "Substitute":

This track is about an idealized version of someone being put in place of their true self. The narrator describes a scenario in which their partner sees a version of them, "I'm a substitute for another guy / I look pretty tall but my heels are high / The simple things you see are all complicated / I look bloody young, but I'm just back-dated, yeah", that is unrealistic and put on, as seen in the lyrics "Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac / I look all white, but my dad was black / My fine-looking suit is really made out of sack"... The concept of a guise applies well to Mike, as referenced in Angst In My Pants. A recurring theme of hiding oneself really makes me think Mike is going to completely abandon his interests for a different lifestyle. I believe Finn has also mentioned that Mike wants to be as "normal" as possible, so I can't wait to see [how far] they take that idea. It could also be him realizing how he's been acting, and admitting that this "romanticized" version isn't true to him.

Finally, "The Rebel Kind":

Like The Better Side, I couldn't find any lyrics, so I'm doing it by ear. Though, I'm happy to say that this song is about a desire to embrace differences and rebellion. "We'll be free to run with the rebel kind" and "It's not easy, but I don't mind / I just want to run with the rebel kind" establish that. The track appears to tie into Mike's insecurity struggles throughout the playlist. It could be the narrator's struggle to keep up with societal norms before finally giving in to their truth instead of trying to conform, read as "they call us rebels but don't get how hard it is to for us to keep up." On the other hand, it could be the narrator commenting on how society doesn't understand people like them, and, by embracing their true selves, it proves more about who they are than conforming ever would; read as, "you think we're the rebellious ones, but you don't understand that we're more self-secure and strong than you'll ever be." I can see both of these interpretations working for Mike and his connection to the Party. The progression of insecurity in Angst In My Pants and potential realization of this guise in Substitute is wrapped up by Mike's self-acceptance here. I really hope this is how it plays out in S5.

Conclusion

Mike's brewing insecurity, paired with his trauma of loss, seems like it may boil over in S5. I theorize that he’ll drift even more into his “shitty knock-off” self, even if just on the surface, and do whatever he can to maintain normalcy in his life. Whether this leads to more conflict with Will, we’ll have to wait and see.

Besides that, Mike might eventually accept his "differences." He also may be willing to cope with loss for what it is, even if it’s the loss of the normalcy he tries so hard to maintain in certain situations. I can see Mike having a heavy emphasis on self-identity in S5, and as I said earlier, I can’t wait to see where they take that.

Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed!

As is customary with all my posts, if anything here is incorrect or you believe there’s something I should add, feel free to let me know. I’d love to have more conversations about Mike and read all the predictions for S5 I can.

#mike wheeler #stranger things 5 #stranger things #st5 #will byers #el hopper #st5 predictions #stranger things analysis #STurn #mike wheeler analysis #byler #<- target audience

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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Mike's character regression can be explained in large part by one emotion in particular: guilt

Just want to preface this by saying that, this is not Mike slander. I love this dude. In fact, I think what makes Mike such an interesting character is that a lot of his behavior throughout the series can be explained in part by previous moments, and after really looking at all these moments together, what you end up with is a pretty fucked up story.

So while some might want to take this as Mike slander, these points I'm making are a part of Mike and things he has done and said and whether they were intentionally harmful or not, it's Mike. It's all shaped him and his role in the story. The fact that we're seeing a visible shift in his behavior at all, with plenty of moments from the show to back up what brought us here, makes it compelling enough to talk about.

So, without further ado, back to our roots:

Ah yes, the infamous canon proof disputing Mike's I think my life started that day we found you in the woods, claim during his monologue. Not only that, but in this original scene from 1x02, it turns out Mike actually intended to send her away the next day (all of which El could hear Mike saying from the open bathroom door).

Mike outright calling El a weapon, again telling the others they need her because they stand no chance at getting Will back otherwise.

I wont elaborate on this now, because there is way too much to unpack that'll honestly be more worthwhile discussing further on.

For now, this is a secret tool that will help us later.

These next couple scenes right here though, are pretty painful if I'm being completely honest. The way its shot, specifically El's very visible exhaustion, accompanied by the varying priorities of others around her, leaves me feeling pretty unsettled upon rewatches.

I obviously can't remember how I felt when I watched these scenes for the first time, but I imagine I viewed them as this huge romantic moment for Mike and El (I was tricked by heteronormativity, okay?). But, again, upon rewatching them since then, I've realized I get this sort of sad feeling by the end. You'll see what I mean.

El obviously just went through something extremely traumatic. She tried to go find Will and Barb in the void, only to find Barb dead and Will presumably alive, but then slipping through her fingers at the last second (no, literally).

We then got a moment where Joyce held El while the others sat by quietly because she clearly needed a moment of comfort given what she just endured.

Then in this scene shortly after, everyone is leaving to get ready for their final attempt at saving Will.

Now, notice how not only Lucas, but also Dustin make the effort to reach out to El to comfort her affectionately after that traumatic event, with those twos' actions specifically being showcased in sequence?

Lucas, who spent the better part of the season being critical of El, is now ending the season rubbing El's shoulder to warm her up, literally soothing her to make her feel better.

Then there's Dustin, who right after Lucas' gesture makes a gesture of his own, putting his hand on her knee reassuringly, to show her he's there and he's happy she's okay.

And lastly there's Mike, who is so kindly allowing El to rest her head on his shoulder. This placement of Mike and El here is definitely a testament to the fact that Mike has vouched for El this whole time in contrast to the others and so, understandably, she put her head on his shoulder for reassurance, because out of the three of them, he's the one whose been looking out for her the most. (Right?)

Now you might be thinking that this sequence's only purpose was to show Lucas and Dustin's development with El, and that it wasn't intentional that they focused on Lucas and Dustins' priorities in this moment in contrast to Mikes'. And I raise you, this next scene.

Here we have a focus on Mike looking on to where everyone left, while the others beside him are presumably just processing what went down and taking a rest (and boy oh boy do they (El) need one).

Mike on the other-hand decides to take this moment of rest to display the most cliche and universal forms of distracted unrest known to man: he checks his watch.

Mike then stands up abruptly, causing El to fall without his shoulder there for her to rest on anymore, all while her and Dustin are looking on after him, sort of like... Okay?

It's small. It might seem insignificant. But if you actually pay attention to what this scene is trying to make you feel, after really looking at it for what it is, it's kind of sad.

In a moment that chooses to highlight the other boys' acknowledgment of El after what just happened, and not only that, but at the tale end of their final battle of the season, Mike is... distracted?

Mike, who has been presumably looking out for El more than the others in the party this whole time, is conveniently out of commission? And right now when El is looking for his reassurance the most? Mike doesn't even have a moment to say, 'Hey I'll be right back, I just want to check something. Can one of you?--', asking Lucas or Dustin to sit next to her in his place. No. Dude just stands up without even acknowledging her.

If it was any other moment in the show, under less post-traumatic circumstances for El, then I wouldn't even think much of it. But it's at this point in the story when El is essentially at her most exhausted and quite literally seeking out support from others, specifically Mike, that makes his distractedness so eery.

Again, you might still be thinking that this isn't that deep. However, I think based on the events leading up to this, and what follows right here, could quite literally hold the answer to the guilt Mike is still keeping to himself to this day.

So... How are we feeling?

Are we feeling like Mike None of you are thinking about El's wellbeing right now! She could get brain damage from using her powers too much! She's not a weapon!* Wheeler is a little bit of a hypocrite? (I told you that tool would come in handy!)

It's actually quite terrifying how similar this scene is framed to the scene in Hopper's cabin in s3, where Mike pretty much says the exact opposite. In s1 Mike goes from being one of the first people to refer to El as a weapon within the context of them using her powers to find Will, with him being completely un-attuned to the fact that she is exhausted in this moment while the others are saying El's rest and safety is the most important, to then in s3 completely flipping script and saying El was using her powers for nothing, blaming the others for treating her like a weapon and not taking her wellbeing into consideration.

It would be one thing if Mike had a little arc where he acknowledged this script flip. Because that's what it is. It is them having Mike use a word in s1 to describe El, that being weapon, only to say the others are treating her like that with that same word being used. It is them having Mike not agknowledge El's well being after overusing her powers, only to say the others aren't taking her wellbeing into consideration for overusing her powers.

And it would be one thing if Mike had spoke to El or literally anyone about how he felt like he wronged El for planning on sending her away the next day after they found her so that they could go back to looking for Will, or how he said she was a weapon that they needed in order to find Will, essentially being no better than the people she just escaped from, who also used her for her powers. But we don't get that (actually we do.. but it's not acknowledged for what it is aka survivor's guilt. It's instead seen as romantic... another tool for later...)

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think any of Mike's behavior takes away from what Mike did do for El, because yes he was kind and accepting when the others weren't. But even despite all of that, at the end of the day, he was often at the forefront of expecting El to risk her life for them, even if he wasn't outright asking that of her.

Before you freak out, No. I don't think Mike, a literal child, was capable of fathoming that El was going into these situations risking her life. She's a superhero. El's alternative was literally going back to the lab, running, or staying with Mike. This was her safest option.

After a bunch of rewatches and putting together a lot of these moments as a whole, I've come to a point where I believe that Mike's behavior throughout s1 was him thinking that because of who El was, she's already in danger at all times. That is a constant reality for her. And so why not have her help them find Will, because she is able to, all while he can also help her. And El clearly wanted to help them, because she wanted to help good people and finally do something meaningful with her powers for a change. Unfortunately, she also had to endure PTSD flashbacks almost every single time Mike and the boys had her use her powers to help find Will.

Speaking of Will, he is currently missing and possibly dead. Will also, in contrast to El (for now...), does not have any sort of superpowers.

Mike's concern over the threat of Will's livelihood is much greater than Mike's acknowledgement to the true risks El is exposing herself to each time she uses her powers to help them. That is s1 canon.

Is there times when Mike is focused on El and her well being. Absolutely! But is there also times when Mike is not showing any display of concern to El's well being in the moment, in complete contrast to the other characters around him... Also yes.

And so the events happening the way they did, with Mike himself not fully comprehending the severity of what's been going on during these high stake situations going on around him, makes sense.

And that's what makes it all the more sad that when Mike finally does realize what he's truly been asking of El this whole time, which is to risk her life for them, it's too late.

This whole scene is obviously very emotional. All of the boys are crying, but the focus on Mike calling out for El painfully is heartbreaking.

But what's even more sad to me, is that El has been sort of used to mistreatment her whole life. She's used to having to find any comfort she could get from people in her life, all the while they were using her for her powers. I mean even despite Brenner being who he was and doing what he did, she still showed these signs of wanting to love him despite it. Which is very very fucked up. But knowing what she's gone through, makes sense.

Mike on the other-hand does greatly contrast Brenner because he was one of the first people to actually treat her with genuine kindness right from the start (before he even knew she had powers), making it a lot easier for her to care for him even despite that pesky trait of using her for her powers being almost synonymous with Brenner's very similar trait.

So when she looks back at Mike, and points him out specifically before sacrificing herself, it feels like a few things at once.

It feels like her acknowledging the fact that she appreciated him specifically for taking her in and supporting her more genuinely than anyone has in her entire life.

And yet it also feels like her, either intentionally or unintentionally, acknowledging the unfortunate side affect caused by days of Mike leading the efforts to find Will, with the expectation of her to do things to achieve that, which could have all lead to her demise technically. And so now when it all comes down to it and the stakes are at their highest yet, same as the risk, she's got to a point where she believes there is no other choice but to do just that, risk her life, especially if it means saving them.

While this is happening, Mike is backtracking in real time. He is trying to get El to stop and it's because he doesn't want her to die. Obviously.

But that's the fucked up part isn't it? When he finally realized what he's been asking of her this whole time, it's too late.

Which takes us to S2 Mike Wheeler, known by many for being a boy whose been calling his true love everyday for almost a year now because he's just so in love, but is actually in fact a boy suffering the most intense form of survivors guilt, one that involves a person who genuinely feels responsible for the persons death...

But that will probably take at least another 2,000 words so I'm thinking maybe I better split this into multiple parts.

I will tease that the next part involves one specific detail in particular that I never see anyone talk about, a detail that I think, in combination with what's discussed in this post, is so important to understanding Mike's breakdown for what it truly was at the end of season 2. I will also probably do more posts beyond that for s3-4, to delve into the impacts these moments from the first two seasons have basically put in place a perfect recipe for what is currently going down.

So feel free to stay tuned for those nonsense updates.

Continued

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lotusmi · 2 years

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the mike wazowski VOID STATE challenge

yes the challenge is called mike wazowski, dont judge mike (and dont judge me too lmao

complain and blame method 😫😫😪

I know I know, I said we are in "void detox 🍵era" in this blog... But I got an idea of a new challenge that you all may like so I am breaking the rules here 😎

mike hottie wazowski is this gentleman and i named the challenge after him since its a hot challenge just like him get it?

💬"Ok, ok Lotus,... What is this stupid challenge about?"

Oh yea, the challenge... yes yes.

So! The challenge is to complain and blame! I dare you to complain about your void journey! Can you complain all day and enter the complainer state? I bet you do! 🤭

As we know, our states are reflected. What we do within ourselves is manifested in our world.

Bloggers say "enter the state of the person that always enter the void☝️👩‍🏫"

But some of you don't feel like you can do it, right? Yes, I know. You try and then give up. "How you I believe, how would i do thhaaat?? 😪😭😭" then you complain again and again.

Are you the "I TRIEEED EVWRYTHING I NEED TO EMTERR HEESLP MEE 😭😭😭" person? YOUR PROBLEMS END HERE muahahha!! 😼

You are now my actor/actress 😼 your paper is to be someone who always enter the void so easily that it ANNOYS YOU🙄🙄. Like?? You cannot even sleep without entering ughhh 😑

You will take this as a fun challenge! Can you have fun doing this? I know you can! Just take it easy and be the most annoyed and worried person in earth!

There are a lot of people here who is worried and obsessed about the void. You are already in this state and can't see motivation to leave it? Just change the focus of it! Now you are obsessed to know WHY you ALWAYS WAKE UP/TAP IN THE VOID.

HEHHEHEH WHAT A PLOT TWIST, NO? 😌😏

Here is how you will do: you will act as if you were entering in the void literally always and you are sooo annoyedd 😒😒😒😒 I'll give you an exemple of how your self talk should be like:

"Awww I just woke up 🛌 and I entered in void agaaain arrghh 😒😒😒 bro?? Whhyy I keep entering in this mf everytime I sleep? 🙄🙄 like how can I stop myself of ENTERING ALWAAAYSS?? I TRIED EVERYTHING AND I KEEP ENTERING in the VOID😭😭😭😪 How can i even live this day knowing if I fall asleep or when night comes I will be there 🙄 AGAIN??? 😫 omg i amm sooo mad that I enter in void like instantly I cannot even close my eyes cuz BOOM 😭😤😤 and to know that I am forced to enter today agaiinnn?? 🙄😭😭😭😭. LIKE WHY THIS IS HAPPENING TO MEEEE?? 😟😟Oohh not its getting time to sleep and i'll enteeer the voidd agaaainn 🙄🙄"

+You can also imagine you telling a friend how you always enter the void to the point it is annoying you.

+You can have fun, make it natural and be creative! Roll your eyes 🙄, act as if! Act like a movie actress, take a breath 😤 and say "uuhh omg why i keep enteriinnnn duh 😒"

KEEP LIVING IN 4D AND IN THE CHARACTHER NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!! If you left the state just go back to your self talks about "ughh i keep entering" again! 💗

The focus here is to change your assumptions and take it easy, you ignore 3d and keep telling yourself the new story 💗

Don't think in terms of "when will I enter?" But "I know I will enter since i always do, it is done".

How long should I do the challenge?

That's up to you! You can pick a date, enter today, enter in 3 days, do along @uniquelymeandmyworld2 challenge or whatever you feel like!

That is it 😌 have fun babygirls 💗😘

#the void #void state #void #living in the end #i am state #manifesting #law of assumption #loa blog #the void state

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nazskoll · 20 days

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Reflecting on Henry as an adult, what it means to grow up ill:

Older Henry is definitely one of the most tragic characters in the novel by that point.

He never got to know happiness.

He got sentenced for murders he didn't commit and everyone around him was also aware of that, they just needed him as the scapegoat. Also to add to that, the only murder he actually committed was against the man that abused him horribly all his life, and he acted under the influence of IT when committing it.

He was deeply traumatized by the death of his friends right in front of him, Vic's head literally got decapitated and thrown in his direction. I can't imagine the pain of seeing your best friend like that. In fact he hoped for death while wandering in the sewers.

The officers beat him and he surrendered himself immediately, it's not like he had a choice anyways, he got sent to a psychiatric hospital at 12, where he was beaten, electrocuted and drugged every day.

Every single day they would torture that poor kid, he never knew freedom from abuse, he never knew stability, all he knew was that. He never had the chance to grow up, never had the chance to do anything like the other kids because he grew up inside an asylum, his 18th birthday was probably spent getting beaten and drugged like usual.

Henry stayed 12 forever, he died the day the caught him, but he was doomed from the start anyways too.

He's so scared and terrified of everything, he keeps nightlights of Disney characters on every night because he's so scared of the dark and IT, he freaks out when the light burns out. The detail that the lamps were all characters for children broke my heart, he was just a child too.

He was sent to an institute for non-violent criminals because in the end he wasn't even dangerous, he wasn't a danger to society, he wasn't going to murder anyone.

He was likely being treated for schizophrenia and psychosis, both of those illnesses include very heavy types of medications that probably turn your brain into mush if you don't actually have said illnesses.

He keeps hearing voices that humiliate him and remind him of his misery because of IT, so that he can be all riled up to kill.

But he doesn't even want to do that, his first instinct when he sees Belch is apologizing for leaving, he didn't want to kill the losers, IT has to convince him and he just thinks it's what's right.

IT tells him to shut up because it knows it's not what he wants and he needs to convince him before he changes his mind, IT knows Henry obeys, he needs to use both the carrot and the stick when needed.

When he meets Mike, even Mike himself sees him as a child, his dialogue is even more simple than it was when he was younger, he speaks so innocently in a way. When Mike tells him that IT wants him too, Henry starts throwing a tantrum and negating just like a kid would.

In a way, Henry got his life taken away because of IT, something he felt would take care of him and 'love him', his whole life was ruined, his existence is pure torture, he didn't want to face it, deep down it hurt too much.

Everything about him makes me depressed, he needed help, he was failed so many times, over and over again, seeing him old, rotting and desperate hits even worst knowing he had no choice in this, he didn't want it.

#bowers gang #henry bowers #it #it 2017 #it book #it fandom #it stephen king #losers club #it 2019 #mike hanlon

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aledanshi · 1 year

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It's nighttime and I've just been served a mitw and fitpac BANQUET this afternoon so now it's delulu time WOOOOOOOOOH (this is a long post I am so sorry)

I can't stop thinking about how possessive Mike was of Pac around Fit, the way he threatened Fit every time Pac wasn't around to hear it, threatening Fit's son, saying "I don't trust you, I don't want you near him anymore".

It's mainly because Mike thinks Fit knew where Mike was being kept frozen, his suspicions almost confirmed when Fit confessed that his latest cleaning job was situated in a remote location that snowed.

But I feel that deep down, that aggression and possessiveness also comes from the realization that Pac started to get attached to Fit after he was away for so long, he was starting to be less dependable on Mike.

He may not love Pac romantically, but he'll never let someone else break the chains that tie them to each other, their codependency is a double-edge sword and it's worse than they would both like to admit, but they wouldn't change it for the world.

Imagine the scorching feeling of betrayal he must have felt when Pac sided with Fit and the others, telling him that he was crazy and torturing him for information he simply doesn't know or his mind is too foggy to remember.

You can also notice two different changes in Mike's behaviour.

First: complacency. He's just been rescued and he's not quite sure what happened, he can't process much information, he seems subdued, if not a bit delusional. He keeps asking for his mininim, his little baby, and Pac's just frozen like a deer on headlights, unsure of how to even BEGIN to tell him that their child is gone. Mike's usual personality is very strong-willed and stubborn, seeing this die-hard anarchist hug Cucurucho on a whim was almost whiplash inducing.

Second: erratic thoughts and actions. After the focus of their conversation shifts from Richas and Walter Bob to Fit and the other island residents that Pac has been spending time with, it's almost like a switch turns inside Mike's head and he starts becoming more erratic, aggressive, borderline insane. Pac takes Mike to the TubChunk so he can get to know the machines and factories and as soon as Pac crashes due to the lag, Mike tells Fit that he's going to murder Ramon and then pretends he never did such a thing.

When they're walking Mike keeps dropping books to Fit and when Pac accidentally takes one and reads it he drops it immediately to Fit, he wasn't expecting such a direct threat coming from him, let alone one directed at a child.

And the clips of Fit conversations with Mike, dear god, I can almost imagine Mike's death stare at Fit, telling him he knows he's not just a janitor for the Federation, with the purpose of infiltrating for information gathering, because if that was the case why didn't he share with the others the information he found until now?

Fit's teeth clench because that motherfucker just threatened his son and is now accusing him of not actually being on their side, on the side of the people that want to destroy the Federation.

He either denies or keeps his mouth shut because he knows he doesn't have the stance to argue otherwise.

Towards the end of their interaction in Walter Bob's house, Mike seems more chill and "himself", he gets excited with Forever's plan to break as many Federation rules as they can simultaneously, but something's still keeping him on edge.

"I don't trust you near Pac, I don't want you to be near him again."

Mike takes his scythe and Fit brandishes his shield while walking away, he still has hope that Mike didn't mean those things he said. Mike hits him once, and then is gone.

When Pac is asked what he thinks about the things Mike is saying, he's so confused with what he should do and who he should trust, but ends up answering: "I have to trust Mike because I don't have a choice".

Could anyone have expected otherwise? Those two are glued to each other, when Pac got kidnapped Mike was furious, when Mike got kidnapped Pac was devastated. Their worst fear is losing each other, no prison or cage could ever compare to the loneliness they feel without their other half. Their connection is safety and comfort, but also a slow poison, it can either make them stronger against everything else or become the reason for their downfall.

They're too far into this to stop now.

#qsmp #fitpac #mitw #mikethelink #pactw #fitmc #tazercraft

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paleprincessturtle · 1 year

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Hiii I saw your post and I couldn't agree more, the world definitely needs more Harvey Specter in it. I've only recently started to watch suits but I'm absolutely in love! Do you think you could write one where the reader is an associate who is nervous about the mock trials because she's shy/soft spoken and doesn't want to have to go against Mike or thinks that Lewis has something out for her maybe? I'd love to see a softer side of Harvey.

Hi you! Thank you for the request. Hope it can capture your imagination :) Feel free to send more requests. Enjoy!

The Sun is Going Down

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Female Reader

Harvey walked past the bullpen when Louis stood in the middle of gathered associates. Harvey stopped dead in his tracks when he realized what actually happened there. It was Louis, who stood so close, too close, to his girl. Harvey seethed. "What's the matter, little mouse? You don't think you can't take down Jeremy here in a mock trial? Maybe you should just pack your things now and sell hotdogs in Central Park." She looked down, shook her head vigorously. "I can do it, Louis," she said, just above a whisper. "Can anyone hear what she said?" Louis spun around, granting laughs from other associates. Mike stood at the far end of the group, pity visible on his face.

"Louis," Harvey's voice boomed even in the midst of laughter.

Upon hearing Harvey's voice, Louis stopped laughing and tried his best to compose himself. No matter how hard Harvey tried to hide his anger, everyone there saw anger very much visible in his eyes. "What's wrong?" Louis asked, worry etched in his voice. "Just go," Harvey gestured with his head and Louis scurried away. Harvey looked at each one of the associates there. He caught the eyes of his girl. The sadness, oh Harvey was sure he could actually feel a physical pain in his chest. "What you looking at? Go back to work," Harvey commanded and everyone rushed to go back to their cubicle. Harvey stole another glance at his girl, who happened to also looking at him. Harvey smiled subtly at her as he walked away from the bullpen.

It was late that day when Mike strolled inside Harvey's office. The firm is now quiet, the dimmed light illuminated the corridor. Mike leaned by his door, "Go see her, she was quite shaken." Harvey just looked up at him, no words needed to be spoken. They both knew who was Mike referring to. "She's always been shy, so soft. To think again, I never thought a lawyer was a good career for her." Mike was shocked at Harvey's honest answer. Harvey always had her back, being all positive. "You should talk to her, guide her. She just needs to come out of her shell. You've seen her works, it was meticulous." Harvey sighed and glanced at his watch. "She's at the library," Mike said before leaving. Harvey rubbed his eyes before finally left his office.

Harvey saw her back. Deep in some books, reports of cases. Harvey walked quietly and put his hands on her shoulders and started rubbing. "Let's go home," Harvey whispered, lips touching her right ear. She shivered and whipped her head around. "Don't worry, everyone left hours ago." She sighed a sigh of relief and slouched in her chair. "Come on," Harvey offered his hand and she took it.

Harvey carefully observed the younger woman on his sofa, a glass of red wine in hand, as she stared blankly at the fireplace. Harvey sighed, prepping himself. He poured himself another glass of wine for him and walked to the sofa. "Wanna talk about it?" Harvey offered. "I'm not supposed to be a lawyer," she said slowly, expression blank. "Baby.." Harvey cooed, he abandoned his glass and took his girl's hand. She pulled her hand away forcefully. "You don't understand, Harvey!" She screamed as she stood up. "You're all successful, everyone opposes you fear the name Harvey Specter. You are born to be a lawyer. But look at me! Louis embarrassed me daily, everyone laughed at me, Mike looked at me with pure pity, and I just stood there because what else am I supposed to do? I know that Louis has something for me in the mock trial. He hates me, Harvey! He'll ruin me." she sobbed and fell to her knees. Harvey knew that Louis roasted her the most because he saw something in her. He needed her to fight, fall, and stand back up. Louis was always like that with associates. But this wasn't about Louis. "My darling sunshine," Harvey sat down in front of her. Her breath rapidly increased, her face red, stained with tears. "Hey, look at me," Harvey ordered gently, oh so gently. She shook her head, looked down at her clenched hands. "Sunshine," Harvey touched her chin with his finger, guiding her to look at him. She finally looked up. Harvey's heart ached at the sight of her forlorn face. "Calm down, okay? Close your eyes," she just looked at him, confused, "close your eyes," Harvey nudged her hands with him. She finally obeyed. "Calm down, imagine. The sun is going down, breath baby. The sun is going down," Harvey guided her slowly. Harvey watched his girl, "the sun is going down, the sun is going down," she whispered slowly. Harvey saw her finally calming down. "Good girl, that's my good girl." Harvey praised her and not long after she opened her eyes. "Thank you," she mouthed. "Anything for you. I'll make Louis an associate again if I have to," Harvey joked and earned a giggle from his girl. With the sound of that, the shadow in Harvey's chest lifted. Harvey lifted her from the floor, he laid them down, spooning her. He pampered the top of her head with kisses as she nuzzled back, closer to him.

They laid down quietly there, enveloped in each other's warmth for some time before Harvey finally spoke. "You know, I wasn't first in my class when I was in law school. Scottie was." Harvey said. "Your ex-girlfriend?" she mocked and Harvey squeezed her tighter in his arms. "You know why I wasn't first in my class?" she shook her head. "I wasn't sure how to hold myself there. Just like you, I was shy," both of them got quiet. Harvey continued, "I was from nowhere, from a mail room yes. And everyone was just so..." Once again Harvey paused. "So poise, so sure about what they were doing." Harvey sighed, no one really knew this story. "What I want to tell you is that I can overcome it. And I believe that you could too," Harvey said softly. She turned her body around. Eyes gazing at each other. "Why you told me that?" She asked not breaking eye contact. "It was always something I'm ashamed of, but if it could help you be the best lawyer that I know you are, then I'll do everything in my might. You're not alone, I'll always help you." He whispered the last few words against his lips. She smiled as Harvey gently kissed her lips.

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It was just 3 hours before the mock trial when she saw Jeremy and Louis huddled in the corner of the library. "Gentlemen," she greeted them. Louis was about to give her a snarky comment when she raised her finger. "If this is how you two will ruin me in mock trial, please try again." She smirked as she dropped the file to the floor in front of them before walking away. She caught Harvey just outside the library, smirking at him. She walked in his direction, close enough for her to hear him say, "That's my baby girl."

MASTERLIST

#harvey specter #harvey specter imagines #harvey specter fanfic #harvey specter x reader #harvey specter imagine #harvey specter fan fiction #suits tv #suits harvey specter

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