#and so does a monday morning but we dont talk about that

[sp1dercons]

mahito is so much of a well written antagonist, that he makes me, a (self proclaimed) professional antagonist apologist want to pull my hair out and scream until I can't anymore.

[dear-ao3]

how i met my boyfriend - the designer axe story

as promised, since we have both now graduated the statute of limitations has expired on this story and i can now share it all with you.

some notes: ra is resident assistant and this story occurred in august of 2021. i wrote this all out the day after it happened almost 2 years ago. we did not actually start dating until october 2021 after we both realized we were in love with eachother. yes, we are still together as of may 2023.

without any further ados, the much anticipated designer axe story.

so part of RA training is that we have to make door decorations and bulletin boards for our halls and buildings. i had finished my door decks at 1 am sunday morning and the bulletin boards weren't due until 9 am monday morning. so i had all of sunday to work on it.

my building has no less than seven bulletin boards per floor and an additional 4 on the entrance floor. i dont know who the hell built this building but we need to have a serious talk about when too many bulletin boards is too many fucking bulletin boards.

so i was in charge of three on my floor. one about me, one covid policies and one sloth (his name is sam and i love him). and i am a chronic procrastinator. so i finished my about me and got through about 95% of my covid one by like 9pm and had to go back to the res life office to cut out a few more letters and get some scrapbook paper.

at this point its probably important to know that the only people on campus at this point were the RAs, some students getting mentoring training, and a few random first years here for an early arrival program. plus some staff.

now, i need you all to understand that there are 42 RAs. all of us have the same deadline. all of us had between 2 and 5 bulletin boards to complete. plus door decks. and room condition reports. so we were all moving at literally 600 frames per second, 120 miles per hour, or about as fast as a child does when they are told there's cake.

which is to say, we were all frazzled and stressed out of our minds.

so i open the door to the res life office at around 9 pm to cut out the word "but" in orange construction paper and grab 2 sheets of purple scrapbooking paper. in the office are the four RAs that were on duty that night, plus a good 7 other people are running around asking about glue sticks and construction paper and keys.

i knew that i only had my sloth board left to complete so i decided to take my sweet ass time, knowing that i was in need of a good break (and also im just a procrastinator) so i cut my letters and grabbed my paper and stood at the desk for no less than an hour talking to everyone about things like the fact that i fell out of a suitcase when i was 2 and that tamper proof lids exist because of the chicago poison pill murders and the flagship l.l. bean store in maine. it was very productive.

so i finally slink back to my dorm at around 10pm, very confident that i would finish by midnight and could watch some netflix or something before i went to bed. if only i knew what was in store for me.

i enter my dorm building and walk to the elevators. and then. one of the RAs from the third floor was like "oh saph. [another RA in the building] is looking for you."

and me, of course, didnt bring my phone to the res life office so i didnt know this.

i go up to the second floor and see one of the RAs from the second floor and another from one of the other buildings working on a bulletin board. they say "oh saph. [the same RA in the building] is looking for you."

i run up to my dorm and discover that somehow we missed the bulletin board by the downstairs elevator. seriously there's too fucking many bulletin boards. and they were asking me to do it. because they wanted to put covid policies on it.

and i know i said this story was about axe body spray. and it is. we are getting there.

so panic sets in because its 10pm and i still have two whole bulletin boards to make now. one of which i have nothing planned for. so i threw some soup in the microwave (because i had forgotten that dinner existed) and opened my laptop.

thankfully, i could reuse some of the same stuff from my own covid policies board in my common room. i just had to print it. which meant, yep you guessed it, another trip back to the res life office!!

at this point i think i had taken a grand total of at least 7 trips to the res life office that day alone. its a good 5 minute walk. not terrible, but just annoying enough that you hate yourself a little more every time that you have to do it. and now its 10:30pm. i am starving. i have two boards to complete. it was crunch time.

i make it to the office and this time i had no time to sit around and debate how popular l.l. bean is. i had policies to print and letters to cut.

as im struggling with the printer (because those fucking things can smell fear), someone else in the office starts loudly discussing timothee chalamet.

and now, this is where you want to actually pay attention because this man would be the reason i ended up only getting 4.5 hours of sleep.

said man in question is quite the character. he's in my grade and im pretty sure he's a polisci major (and maybe creative writing? there's some kind of writing) and he plays lacrosse. i dont really know how to describe him other than the fact that the first interaction i ever had with him was two years ago at freshman orientation when he complained to me in the dining hall that there was no milk for his protein powder.

that interaction is in my top 10 favorite interactions ive had in college.

but the one we are about to unpack definitely takes all of the cake.

so here i am, struggling with the printer and my tiny knock off dongle. the other RA on my floor starts discussing timothee chalamet's outfits with the protein powder RA.

and so apparently the protein powder RA worked in some major fashion designer brand corporate something or other thing over the pandemic. he told me which one but i was so shot and only thinking in construction paper and glue and staples that i didnt process any of it. but it was a fancy one. the store that is.

and so here's what happened:

me: "timothee chalamet? isn't he like, 17?"

protein powder RA and the other RA on my floor: "nah he's like 25. ive checked."

yet another RA: "yeah i just googled it."

me, a wimbo: "oh im thinking of finn wolfhard. but i dont think he's 17 either."

listen before you slam me, remember it is like 11pm and i have to still do 2 bulletin boards and we have training at 9am the next morning.

so protein powder RA pulls up some photo of timothee chalamet and starts telling me about all the brands he's wearing and i literally said "i understand all of the words that you're saying separately."

and he said "exactly!! he's just so great that when you put it all together you can't understand it!! he's just too perfect!!"

and the i made a detrimental decision.

there is life before this decision and life after.

i said "well. bring your fashion designer knowledge into the lounge and help me decide what color to cut my letters."

and he said okay.

so after severely debating the different color purples that we had and listening to the finer points of the fashion industry, i noticed something important.

he smelled like axe body spray.

see i bet you thought i forgot the point of the story. i did not.

let it be known that we are juniors in college (that's 20-21 years old if you dont know). axe is very common in middle and high school boys locker rooms. i have vivid memories of avoiding that hallway so i wouldn't be choked.

so im trying not to inhale too deeply because the smell has permeated my mask as i cut my "covid safety" letters in the color this man has dubbed "light lilac" and half listening to him talk about the fashion industry.

but i finish quickly, somehow escape the smell of axe, and grab my laptop and print outs before tagging along with the same protein powder RA and the other lax player RA back to the dorms. its now 11:15 pm. i still have 2 bulletin boards to complete. my soup is sitting in my microwave in my dorm, almost forgotten about.

halfway back from the office i realize that i forgot my dongle. i say so out loud and protein power RA says that he will go back and look because he's just that guy who likes to help. i say okay fine. and i sprint to my dorm building, drop the print outs and letters downstairs for later, and start the sloth board.

several minutes later, my soup has been inhaled, my papers glued, a sloth cut out, and im sitting in a mess of construction paper and staples in the hallway when i get a text from protein powder RA that quite simply said:

"its not there. do you need help with your boards?"

and me, being me, because i am exhausted and in need of company, say "yeah sure."

by the time he finally shows up, he's changed his outfit.

as a side note, every time ive seen this man during the last 5 days of training, he's been wearing a different outfit. oh and he works for lulu lemon. forgot to mention that.

but alas, here he came, holding my papers and reeking of axe as he walked down the hall to me, who is failing to staple a sloth to my bulletin board.

so for the next two hours i did my boards and he sat and talked. he wasn't physically helping me, but he was helping me stay awake, cause this man is a ball of fucking energy, and that was very important.

i only remember about half of what he said but essentially he was talking about how he was trying to be a better person than the one that he was freshman year. which is admirable. but he does still reek of axe.

at around 1 am i finished my last board and went upstairs to clean up. he came with me and sat on the floor and continued to talk while i cleaned up my disaster of paper and staples and glue among other things. at this point i was so relieved that i had finished that i was actually able to engage in the conversation, which was surprisingly deep and interesting.

and then. its about 1:45 am. i am about to wash my dishes so i can shower and go to bed. because remember that i need to be at training at 9 am the next morning.

and he says something about trying to be a better person again. and me, in all my sleep deprived glory, says:

drum roll

"and yet you still wear axe body spray."

and all hell broke loose.

i would like to preface by saying that he freaked out in a very joking matter and was not actually mad at me. but he was definitely disappointed and in shock. the next hour pretty much consisted of:

"are you kidding me? this is prada something something cologne and all these celebrities wear it!! how dare- it could not POSSIBLY SMELL LIKE AXE!!! well i guess its a little dry and axe is kind of dry smelling...bUT I SPENT SO MUCH ON THIS BOTTLE and the lady sold me on the larger one and it was like 150 bucks and UGH i cannot smell like axe! you know i got four compliments on how i smelled today??! and you're telling me i smell like fucking- *sniffs shirt* no! there's no way!! well i mean... no i cannot. i cannot smell like designer axe. damnit saph! im gonna have to sell this whole bottle now cause i can't use it! BUT ITS PRADA!!"

for an hour.

but it was very entertaining.

eventually i dragged him to the common room cause i needed to do my dishes and sleep and he continued ranting about it there, going as far as to call his best friend (who was asleep) and another RA and ask them if he smelled like axe. i meanwhile was laughing my ass off and 12 kinds of tired but couldn't find it in myself to care.

eventually he decided he needed yet another opinion. so he went to find the other RA on my floor, which, if you remember, is the same one who was thirsting over timothee chalamet with him in the res life office all of those fateful hours before. but that RA was nowhere to be found. so he ran down to the common room below us and scared the shit out of three freshmen.

and he asked these freshmen if he smelled like axe.

the answer was yes.

after that he left because it was 2:30 in the morning, and all the while he was yelling about how he was going to come to training tomorrow with different shirts with all his different colognes on them and have me sniff them because he couldn't smell like designer axe.

and i did the only logical thing. went upstairs to my my dorm and made him a door deck that looked like a bottle of axe that had a post it on the front that said "designer."

and so. now you all know not to buy cologne because its expensive because there's a good chance it will just end up smelling like axe.

and i didn't get to smell his other colognes because i almost passed out in training and left to take a nap. but maybe that was a blessing in disguise.

we’ve been dating for a year and seven months and just graduated college :) and in a fun twist of events, prada no longer makes that cologne anymore.

[libraford]

Don't tell me your roommates forced you out of the actual master bedroom despite apparently taking on the bulk of the housework and the food bill? And while throwing away your shit?

We decided when we moved in together that they would get the master bedroom because they had (at the time) 2 elderly dogs and 2 cats, so they'd need the space. Plus they had a california king size bed and we just a had a queen. So it made sense to give us the room that had been intended for a kid.

It was a little cramped for us, but we used to share a 1 bedroom apartment.

What was upsetting was that the shared spaces (living room, kitchen, front room) were set up, decorated, furnished while I was at work and couldnt give my input. So a lot of my stuff has been shoved in the garage this whole time, but shed still go in there and rearrange things without telling us.

And she DID do chores. In fact, she would say that she was the ONLY one that did chores even if that's not entirely true. I mostly made dinner and did dishes, which I dont think she realized how much dishes they produced because I would clear the sink and then wake up the next morning to another sink full.

But she hated clutter, and I'm a little cluttered. Like I'd leave my notebook on the end table with a pen and shed call it a mess. And her solution to mess was to take the stuff tgat was mine and put it on a table where my other stuff was.

So I couldnt find a lot of stuff. Because it was in places that I had not put it.

When we were talking about living together, I told her from the start that I'm messy and people find it to be a deal breaker.

"Well, maybe you'll learn to tidy up," she said.

"And maybe you'll learn to let things go." She didnt like that answer.

So I knew from the start that there was going to be tension just from that.

But she'd get mad at me for not like... vacuuming the cat tree. But they're not my cats? Like shed get mad at us for not doing certain chores without telling us what those chores were or how often they needed done. Shed do them and complain that shes the only one that does them and if we tried to do them before she got to them shed say we did it wrong.

And somehow... somehow my books and pens and pencils were messes, but the cup of yogurt she left out for three days was not.

These are trauma responses. I'm being so kind. But a lot has happened in the past four years and I havent had energy to process it because I was too busy trying not to set off her moods.

So anyways, it's over now. We get the master bedroom and on monday we're going to get the heirloom furniture that Pock has had in storage but never had room for.

[cupoftaae]

Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ silent treatment cant last forever (chapter 5)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 4.1k

chapter warnings: swearing, tae is struggling :( kaito is a fucking LOSER and does a bad thing. literally all I can say is SORRY in advance !! mentions of domestic violence and abuse. Quick mention of pregnancy

A/N- I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I have most of these already written out, but I like to take time and add ideas as I go along. I kinda came up with a plot twist that will eventually play out, just dont hate me. What can I say? I love angst. ALSO- chapter 6 will be out this weekend possibly, if not, then monday ;) just a treat bc ily guys

"he's such a fucking dumbass" Kaito scoffs and takes a sip of his wine, collapsing back onto the couch next to you. You remained quiet as he ranted after you told him about the night you had.

Immediately after coming back to the apartment with taehyung, you two ended up fighting again. Something about him being childish, you being self centered, him being nosey, and you not being the old you. What does that even mean? You havent changed at all, its him who is always starting these fights.

after that, you packed a bag and ran over to your boyfriends house. It wasnt where you wanted to be, exactly, but you needed a place to hide.

"I dont think he is a dumbass, I just think....hes....i dont know? having a midlife crisis?" you shrugged, leaning into your boyfriends touch.

"midlife crisis....at the ripe age of 23 years old?"

"yeah, I think he is always comparing himself to me, and hes confused about who he wants to be. He wishes he stayed in college so bad, he even signed up for this little credit art course they ha-"

"art??" kaito laughed covering his mouth for a moment

"yeah" you turned around to look at him

"so he thinks finger painting will help him snap into being an adult?"

you stared at him, scrunching your face up in thought. Yeah, you kinda poked at tae and made jokes, but you didnt mean any harm deep down. Maybe you dont understand his little desire to paint away his feelings, but watching kaito laugh about it is different, because he means it. You suddenly felt guilty for talking about him behind his back, even if he was a dick for yelling at you a few hours ago.

"he enjoys it, its kinda cute. If its helping him back onto his feet then who cares...its not like he quit his job or anything, kaito."

"cute? more like immature"

"hey, cmon, leave him alone"

"you cant seriously be defending him"

"I just dont like talking about people behind their back, you know?"

"whatever" he scoffed, taking a sip of his drink before pulling you onto his lap. "wait..." he stopped, thinking before laughing. "I thought....I thought you said you were sick?"

Your heart stopped the minuet he spoke, how could you forget your own fucking lie, more importantly, how is he just catching this?

"Oh I was feeling better, mhm. This morning I felt like shit but I figured it would be better to suck it up and go to the dinner anyways, should have stayed home!" you blurted out and got off his lap, standing to your feet.

"right" he eyed you, standing up as well as he put his drink down. "well....do you wanna go to bed?" he asked, doing that stupid smirk face that made you somewhat angry.

"uhm, well, yeah, but im really tired kai, also im still not feeling 100% you know? so, maybe we should sleep. just..sleep." you nodded quickly and turned around on the ball of your heel, only to be yanked around by the wrist.

Your eyes widened in shock at the sudden action from him, heart pounding in your ears. Was he drunk? who knows, but that was not an ok thing to do regardless.

"let go of me, what the fuck?" you breath out, trying to tug your hand out of his tightening grip.

"you arent lying to me about Taehyung right?"

"what? What are you talking ab- let go!"

"you wouldnt lie to avoid me, right? you and him arent doing shit behind my back?" he asked, anger in his voice, something youve never seen.

"No! theres nothing!! I promise, I was just sick and, kai you are scaring me please!" you whine, mad at the tears that showed up so quickly. He saw your eyes and immediately let go, making you yank yourself backwards quickly, allowing the tears to fall as you hugged yourself.

"oh my god, im so sorry baby, I didnt mean to d-"

You both looked down at the mark left on your wrist from his grip

"shit, im so.....im so sorry, y/n, listen-"

"get away from me!!" you yelled, "Im sleeping in the guest room, d-dont come in, sober the fuck up and dont touch me again, I swear to God..." your voice shakes as you spoke, aware that if he really wanted to, he could hurt you again.

you saw regret in his face, but it didnt matter. jealousy has always been an issue for him, but its never shown like this....it was scary.

you turn quickly to run upstairs, hiding in his guest bedroom and locking the door, you wanted to leave but also didnt have anywhere to go exactly. You promised to meet up with your friend Dahyun tomorrow for lunch, so you would have to ask her to pick you up earlier.

kaito looked at the wine glass that had spilled without him even knowing, sighing and sitting with his face in his hands instead of going after you.

-

Taehyung woke up the next morning in the same state he had fell asleep: mad, clothed, dirty, and missing you.

He knew he was fighting you when it was happening, but there was just an overstimulation of emotions that had over poured, and unfortunately, you happened to be the punching bag.

He made a mental note to call his parents and explain later as he walked into your room. you were still not there. Given the things he said, you doesn't blame you, however he would like to apologize.

He walked into the kitchen and looked at all the food, well, more like ingredients for meals he doesnt know how to make. You said something last night to him about him needing to depend on you with everything, including meals. It hurt, but it was right. He sighed and closed the fridge, moving to go sit on the couch in the quiet apartment before opening his phone to his social media’s.

He hated to see other people and how well they were doing, but he found himself online more often then he used to be, maybe it was to inspire or motivate him, he wasn’t sure. He scrolled across Annie’s art page, stopping to pay extra attention to one post in particular.

She was good, her art was something people would pay money to see, he understood why she would be in all the art classes she could find. The post showed her setting up at the banquet hall a few streets down, something about an art fair. Tae smiled and like the post, wanting to know more about it. He contemplated dming her, eventually just giving in and doing so.

Taehyung: hello Annie, it’s taehyung, you probably know that because you can see my name, anyways, I saw your recent post and was wondering what you were setting up for?

He tapped his phone with his fingers, feeling odd to text someone who wasn’t, well, you.

He was surprised to see her answer quickly

Annie: hey tae :)) i was hoping you would text soon enough. I’m setting up for an art festival at the Julie banquet hall! You should totally come if you aren’t busy :0!!!

He laughed and bit his nail, suddenly hearing your voice in his head telling him not to do that...bad habit.

He texted back

Taehyung: when is it?

Annie: it’s being held this entire week for a viewing, but next weekend there is a contest....winner gets a prize!

taehyung smiled and looked around, that could be huge for him. Maybe this was the universal sign from the universe he needed, a sign that his rash decisions were actually working out for him. He knew he probably wouldn’t be able to go down today, for obvious reasons other than the fact he needs a shower.

He also needed to prepare something worth winning, and that required time.

Taehyung: oh wow...that sounds really interesting. I’ll probably be down later this week, thanks for letting me know.

He tossed his phone to the side and began to head for his room, knowing that he wouldn’t leave until he created a masterpiece.

As fun as this was, he had to admit, it was a good distraction from you.

-

"How come kai couldnt just drop you off?" Dahyun looked over at you, taking a bite of her sandwich. "well, he was a bit hungover, he had a lot to drink last night" you cleared your throat, sipping your water.

It had been a while since you and your friend saw eachother, and going out for lunch together was nice, a step away from all the boy drama going on. You were in college, and you just wanted to do normal stuff and leave the high school shit behind.

Dahyun sat back and looked you over, concern on her face. "sweetheart are you alright?"

"why wouldnt I be?

"because you look like shit, in the nicest way. Have you been sleeping?"

you laugh, looking down at your hands, "yeah, ....well, no"

"mhm, whats going on?"

"tae and I got into a fight last night, and it was just really annoying because we are always fighting nowadays, I hate it."

"is that why you were at kaitos?"

you nodded, eyes looking out the window. "I should have just stayed at the apartment though. I hate to admit it but I kinda miss him, he hasnt texted me" you sighed and re-checked your phone.

"hes a grown man, y/n, he can handle shit"

you looked at your friend, quick to remind yourself that they dont see the true venerability of taehyung like you do, they dont know that he's just emotional and feels things differently than others, so as much as you hate to say it....he cant take care of himself.

"mm" you shrug, taking a bite of a fry. "lets just talk about something else?" you suggest

"okay, let me think...." dahyun smiled to herself, searching her brain for something to talk about. "Oh did you hear about chae?" she suddenly spoke up

"no, what about her? is she ok?"

"dude she had such a pregnancy scare, she called me 2 nights ago because she was fully convinced she was preggo....shes not though so its alright" she shrugged

your eyes widened at your friends words, "what?...how did I not know this? why didnt she call me?"

"well, not to start anything but...we kinda have been calling and texting you, but you dont seem to have time anymore, which is perfectly fine, but we miss you."

you slumped down into your seat, food on the plate in front of you has now gone cold and unedible. "I dont know, man. Life is so messy right now, theres just so much going on. I miss you guys like crazy, we need to plan like a sleepover or a girls weekend." you suggest, leaning into the palm of your hand sadly.

"hey, y/n, just breathe, everything will be okay. If you are free next weekend I know a friend of mine is throwing a really fun party, i'll text you the info if you are down to go?"

you smiled hopefully, not that you were the super most outgoing person on campus, but the idea of going to a party with other kids seemed like a set up to meet some new people.

"Dahyun that sounds really fun, yes please send me the info, is chae going?" you ask, pulling out your phone

"mhm, yep...but we are gonna have to keep her with us because her boyfriend is going...well now ex boyfriend considering they broke up over this whole 'almost pregnant' scare, and-"

you quickly shut out your friends voice as you checked your socials, suddenly coming across a photo taehyung had posted on his story of a painted canvas, seemed normal enough, except the fact someone was there with him. at your apartment.

you whip your head up, "I think I have to go, im sorry, uh, something just came up and I need to get home, but uhm, you'll have to text me about nate and chae!" you spoke quickly, grabbing your purse and standing. "Thank you for having me out, I really needed it. Dont forget to text me the party details!!" you sing as you hug her and make a dash for the door.

-

You exited the elevator and made your way down the hall quickly, searching for your keycard in your over packed purse before bumping into someone and falling to the floor.

"ow? hel-, oh.." you quiet down when your eyes meet the person waiting outside your apartment door. kaito.

"What are you doing here?" you quickly stood to your feet and brushed past him, still searching for the key.

"baby, you havent answered my calls, we need to talk about last night. Im so sorry, I never meant to make you feel unsafe, im going through so much and I just....I just, I dont know what happened, but im so sorry!" he rambled quickly, touching your back and making you stop your movements.

"kaito..."

"i know, im so sorry, i suck and im an asshole and you probably hate me, I would too"

you sighed as your hands fell to your sides, turning to face him. "you....you arent an asshole, dont say that." you breathe out, grabbing his hand "just promise me you'll cut down on the drinking or something...I dont wanna see that again." you felt guilt throughout your chest as he looked down.

"I promise, baby, I will"

you pulled him into a hug and squeezed him, rubbing his back and moving to kiss his cheek. "head home, now, please" you whispered, watching his face fall.

"wait why? I was hoping we could hang out or make food or something?" he gestures towards your front door. "hm, Im sorry kai, maybe after classes sometime this week, I have to handle something right now...you know how he is" you quieted your voice at the last part, watching your boyfriend nod.

"okay....just, uh, text me ok?"

you smiled and nodded, "of course"

once he made a turn for the hall, you placed your keycard into the door and walked into the apartment to see Annie and Taehyung in the kitchen. You usually werent too keen on having random people in your house, you and tae promised to not invite others there without letting eachother know.

"y/n..." tae turned and saw you, making annie stop whisking whatever was in the bowl she held.

"tae" you nod, waving quietly to the short girl behind him. "didnt know there was something going on today" you joke, putting your bag down and walking in with arms crossed over your body.

"I just invited her over because it was a little too quiet over here" he joked, looking at her and smiling.

"ah I see" you smile and lean against the island counter. "what are you guys making?"

"apple pie" annie cheerfully responds, moving to her phone to change the song that was playing

"oh, yummy" you awkwardly reply, somewhat angry that she was in your kitchen and took it upon herself to use your ingredients that you bought yourself.

"tae, can we talk?" you turn to him, talking quietly.

"yeah..." he looked over at annie, "ill be right back"

she replied with a thumbs up before returning to her baking, reading the recipe off tae's phone.

You led him into your room before shutting the door and leaning against it, the boy looking back at you like he was expecting to get yelled at. "I'm sorry" you exhale, "For the other night, I dont wanna keep doing this with you" you shrug

"I dont wanna fight with you either." he spoke simply, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

"I dont...I dont really know whats been going on with us but I rather just sit and be your friend than your enemy, you know"

he nodded, "you are right, and Im sorry too, all that shit I said, I didnt mean it, It was out of frustration which still isnt okay bu-"

you cut him off with a hug, "its okay"

he took a moment before wrapping his arms around you in return, "Are you mad she is here?" he whispered, "no...just wish you would have texted me...."

"i know, im sorry" he shook his head, sighing. "um, also, my parents called and I explained kinda the situation simply and they seemed to understand somewhat. I spoke honestly with them about how their words effected me and shit, and they said they would try to stop...well...mostly my mom will try to stop" he laughed, making you smile.

"they want us to go over to their house before they go back home, sometime later this week. I know you have classes and stuff but even if its just for one night over there, ill drive you to school in the morning if you need" he added.

"okay, we will work it out, im proud of you for sticking up for yourself" you laughed softly, making him look down shyly. "did you take your medication today?" you remembered to ask suddenly

he looked up at you and pressed his lips together before hesitantly shaking his head, "uh...I forgot.."

you sigh, "okay, lets go take it" you grabbed his hand and went back into the kitchen, brushing past annie to get to the medicine cabinet.

You took notice of how the girl eyed you and your hand against his, making you smirk to yourself. Even if you and tae were just friends, you knew no one would ever be able to squeeze between you both, not kaito nor annie.

"here, bubs" you whisper, handing him his pill and a water bottle

"whats that?" annie spoke up, cutting up apples on your good cutting board you didnt even get to use yet, making your eye twitch.

"allergy meds" taehyung spoke up, taking a sip of water as you look back at him with sympathetic eyes, his face telling you to just not say anything. His ADHD was something he assumed he should be ashamed of, something people would always use to blame his behavior on.

He didnt want to be that, he just wanted to be Taehyung.

Annie nodded and patted her hands on her apron before moving to the next thing, engaging in conversation with taehyung. "so what were you saying before she came in?" she asked, catching you off guard as you threw your hands up and walked over to tidy the living room area.

"Oh I was just talking about the art thing and how-"

"tae.." you stopped fluffing the pillows to turn to him, making annie sigh as you once again interrupted their conversation.

"what?" he looked around, confused.

"why arent you working? todays a work day?"

"oh, uh-...."

Annie smiled, "I didnt know you had a job, where do you work?"

Tae looked between the two of you before speaking up, "well...I used to work at this buisn-"

"used to? you got fired??" you walked over and held his arm

"no no....I quit, like....last week" he huffed, seeming relieved to get it off his chest. "tae, why did you, what?? why would you do that?" you looked at him seriously, knowing that there was no income for you two anymore.

"because I plan to apply for college again, I have a whole thing in the works, y/n, I promise, I didnt just do it on a whim" he spoke quickly

"y/n, he can handle himself" annie sarcastically spoke with a smile

"kindly leave please, him and I need to talk" you finally looked back at her, making her plead to taehyung.

"what? but we were doing something!" she puts the rolling pin down when tae shrugged, "im sorry annie, ill text you okay?" he walked her out before apologizing again and shutting the door.

"well aint she the sweetest" you scoff and collapse on the couch. "come here please" you spoke calmly, wanting to approach this correctly. Taehyung walked over slowly and sat on the couch next to you, keeping his body close and away from you.

You took a deep breath in and looked at him, "tae, honey, why did you do that?"

he shrugged, sighing.

"look at me"

he turned his head around to you after a few seconds, revealing the tears in his eyes. "tae..."

you are quick to wrap him into your arms, "its ok, im not mad. I just wish you told me, everything makes more sense now" you mumble

"Im sorry for not saying anything, I was just so unhappy working there and I just had to leave" he chokes out, face hidden into your shoulder. your hand finds his hair as he gently pulls away.

"i'll find a side job or something, but I really am serious about this school thing" he quickly muttered as you wiped his tears.

"Its okay...I can probably pick up tutoring for Mrs.Chin again, she pays well and if I do it after classes everyday it'll probably be enough to sustain rent" you sigh, rubbing his arm.

you watched as the boys face was filled with regret and sadness, making your heart split in two. "dont tell my parents, please" he whispers

"no...of course not" you smile lightly, "ive learned my lesson"

Taehyung laughed and leaned back against the end of the couch, head looking up at the ceiling. "so....we can talk more later if you like, but for now lets go finish making that apple pie" you leaned into him jokingly, making him laugh.

You two got up and walked into the kitchen "why did you let her use my cutting board" you pouted

"im sorry" he smiled shyly "If it counts, I know nothing about how to bake, and if I was the one making the pie we would all be food poisoned."

you laughed, "i'll teach you"

-

You two sat in Taehyungs bedroom, both eating a slice of apple pie as he played some game on his Xbox, you watching.

"so..." you began, scarping your fork on your plate. "art, huh?"

he paused his game and turned to you, smiling, "what?"

"youre passionate about it?"

"yeah, I suppose" he shrugged, watching you get up and walk over to his desk. "I saw these on instagram, they are actually quite nice" you added, eyeing them over as he came up behind you. "yeah, those were just some doodling to be honest." he itched his neck.

"but uh, im working on something big. Can I show you?" he spoke, watching you nod before pulling a canvas from his closet and placing it down.

The sketch included an empty, bare forest of trees in the center of a town square, details to a perfect ten on even the smallest things. "Its not done, not in the slightest but..."

"woah.....holy shit tae, you...wow" you were actually in awe. You knew he liked art, but this was beyond anything youve seen from him, it genuinely made you feel something. "this is really beautiful, is this pencil work?"

"thank you" he mumbled shyly, a blush on his face, "yeah, its pencil, I plan to add color to everything but the tree, itll remain black and white." he spoke, looking it over himself.

"does it mean anything?" you pondered aloud.

"well...its like this, trees lose everything they have in the winter, no leaves no flowers, nothing, right?" he spoke as you listened, "yet they still are just...there, while everything continues to progress and move around them, because they know if they wait, whats theirs will grow back."

"wow...." you said again, truly speechless by his work. Clearly you underestimated him, because this is beyond anything youve seen.

He looked at you lovingly before clearing his throat and putting it away again, "yeah... its for this art contest that Annie told me about. Winner gets like, a cash prize, im not sure how much, but it doesnt matter because they also win a trip to a really cool art museum in Paris" he looked back at you.

"Paris?...wow tae, I have no doubts you will win this"

"dont jinx it" he teased, walking back to his chair.

you put your hands up in defense, giggling. "so is it an art show?" you asked, following him

"yeah, I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to come....the exhibit is all this week and I plan on going on friday....was gonna ask if you'd wanna come with?" he spoke quietly, hopeful tone evident.

"hmm..I would love to" you smiled and grabbed his plate to clear, heading towards the kitchen

"oh, also...." he sat up, making you turn to him. "whats up?" you ask,

"I know this is kinda odd, but would you mind if you just...like, slept in here tonight?"

your eyes widened at him, making him feel like he overstepped

"I shouldnt have said that im sorry, I just didnt sleep last night and I always fall asleep quickly with you"

you giggled quietly, "no its okay, ill sleep here alright?" you watched his face light up , nodding

"thank you..."

-

"what happened to your arm?" tae asked as you climbed into his bed and shut the light off.

"what do you mean?" you were confused, sitting the side opposite of him. Taehyung pointed to your wrist, oh...yeah, that.

"oh I burnt myself, curling iron. wasnt paying attention" you sighed as he frowned. "be careful, ok?"

you nodded, "ok"

once you both were in and under the covers, the silence was welcoming. To be fair, you slept best here too, and the last time you laid here the circumstances were completely different, so it was a bit weird.

You laughed to yourself when you heard his soft snores after a few minuets, he wasnt joking. you lifted your arm and raised your fingers across your wrist.

be careful

there was so much to be careful about, and if only he knew the full extent of it.

You looked over at the sleeping boy next to you before turning to your side and closing your eyes, allowing yourself to just be here, in his bed, in this very moment, because it gave you the safety and comfort you needed so badly

be careful .....

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt

@taebangtanbabe

@kthstrawberryshortcake-main

@borahaexoxo

@lelefoodlover

@tan-veee

[wanderrlust0]

:s

im home now and im glad me and him got high today bc i dont think i wouldve been able to be okay emotionally and pretend like everythings good. i just read my last journal post and i just started crying. like i gave him till the very last minute to say i love you to me and he didnt so i whispered it as i got ready to get out of the car and he then whispered it back. like, he wasnt gonna say it if i hadnt said it. he just said it bc i said it but i can tell it was like empty words like wtf i feel like he doesnt really love me anymore rn and ive done absolutely nothing wrong like its unfair and im tired of it. he hasnt been himself since tuesday. first he wasnt himself when i saw him sunday. then i forced him to talk about it a little. then he was good monday, saying good morning, goodnight, using :3 a lot. then tuesday he just went back to the dryness and sounding uninterested. stopped saying goodnight and goodmorning to me. its now thursday (technically) we hung out. i texted in caps goodmorning bc he again just started saying stuff. i feel like he was only okay today bc he was high. he was touching me a lot but mostly my ass bc i wore a skirt. i didnt mind it ofc but i did sorta feel like he was mostly touching me in a sexual way and less romantic way. he is so fixated on my friend who he doesnt like and thinks id cheat with. bunny stop being insecure..honestly. i feel like its def that and his inability to fully trust me is what the main problem is. like he was barely loving meD: i can tellll when he genuinely does bc he shows it but today and these past few days just felt so casual and not full of effort. like why the fuck am i really crying right now like idk how im feeling bc im like ofc hurt and im confused and tired and annoyed and upset and sad and it feels less fun. i always end up doing most of the talking when hes like this bc itll make me so uncomfortable to sit in silence. like theres a good silence and a weird silence. i used the bathroom and left my phone on the table. ik he most likely scrolled thru my notifications. like im sure he def did. he was standing right there. even tho it was locked and he cant see the details of the notifs ik i have nothing to hide. the thing is how long is it gonna take for him to have some faith in me and stop doubting me and treating me like im a copy of everyones past mistakes. i think now im really actually not gonna act like things dont affect me and show more dryness or annoyance or distance. whatever i feel towards him ill reciprocate or stop pretending like its nothing. he didnt answer my text where i sent him a video that i thought was cute and funny and i wanted him to see it too. no acknowledgement from that. he hasnt sent me an ig reel in days. he stopped saying goodnight and goodmorning. he did now. the edible made him happier today and same with me. we drank and it made us both sleepy. idk what hes feeling towards me. he doesnt really share everything bc he thinks that it doesnt make a diff if we talk about it or not bc he feels like nothing will change and its pointless. i obviously disagree and i feel like we def have to talk, whether itll make a diff or not. it will do something. itll help us understand each other more. itll help us see things in a diff perspective. itll help us clear the air and get rid of the elephant thats lowkey in the room. i wish he wasnt so insecure in times like these. i wish he was more confident with himself. i wish he would really just love me unconditionally and not question our love. i wish i didnt have to tiptoe around the topic of my friend. i wish hed pay attention to whats in front of him and realize how great we can be. hes like a part of me now and i cant see myself without him and i desperatelyy wish hed just understand thatD; im trying and doing my best. i love him to pieces, but if i feel that hes losing interest, it makes me lose interest and i emotionally feel less of a connection to who he is. its like i love him and want him close by but his energy isnt the same person and i miss him againnn. hes back to caring less

[sneakyspades]

ok yknow what im just gonna straight up vent about work rn bc i ran out of tags on the other post

its become such a fucking shitshow down there jesus christ i cannot fucking stand it anymore. communication doesnt exist, i dont even remember the last time back of house had a fucking meeting. the owner pushed for us to stay open during a blizzard where it was a wind chill of -40. i mean holy fuck, the city said dont travel unless its an emergency

i had issues on sunday that i wasnt sure about, but our chef was out of town doing a show with his band, and our sous chef was sitting at the bar in the restaurant a good 5 or 6 beers deep by the time i ran into this problem. i asked the other supervisor (who agrees with me that this is a shitshow) and he wasnt sure either so we straight up guessed

i only make 15 an hour despite having been there for a whole fucking year, because i only get supervisor pay when im clocked in as supervisor. which is a measly 8 of my 40 hours. but god forbid i dont act like a supervisor for all 40 hours

insurance is unsustainably expensive there. my coworker who makes 13.50 an hour takes home *more than i do per paycheck* at this point. and he works 32 hours! i havent taken home more than 750 a pay check since getting insurance! i used to be grossing 1000! IM LITERALLY PAYING 175 DOLLARS EVERY PAY CHECK! AND THATS ABOUT TO GO UP TO ALMOST 180 WHEN I TURN 27! im not making any fucking money! im not getting any savings!

not to mention they fucked up my insurance not that long ago! i was told at the doctors office and the pharmacy that i had zero coverage! but they were still taking money from my fucking paycheck for it! like holy fuck i shouldve talked to goddamn lawyer about that instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt!

i was 110% fine with making 15 an hour and doing nothing but pizzas. because the trade off was that i could cut out early, i could trade shifts, if i got sick it wasnt fucking everyone else over. but now i cant do any of that. i have to close on saturdays, dont get home and in bed until 1:30 some nights, and then have to get up and go do a 10 hour shift every sunday. every weekend! every fucking weekend! and im the only one that does that anymore! im not the only one doing a double on sunday, but im the only one who has to close the night before. and because im just exhausted by the end of a sunday, my mondays are practically wasted because im catching up on sleep!

i like. cant fucking do this anymore. i cant think of any reason why im still there. i could go worl at fucking sams club in the bakery, start at the same wage (if not more), have *less* responsibilities, be doing something i want to do, and they close at 8 every day. i dont think theyre even open on sundays!

why am i still working there? its not sustainable for me anymore. my body is fucked. its falling apart ahead of schedule. i cant even open my door in the morning because of carpal tunnel. im 26 and when i crouch down i cant always get back up. the other night my ankle just started popping every time i turned around. what am i doing? what am i doing. i dont know.

i dont even have energy left over to draw. or make stained glass. or even do a discord call. the last time i had an actual date with my partner was, what, like 4 fucking months ago? i dont have any energy left over. im using it all for a place that i dont enjoy working at anymore, and i know i wont get better hours. our sous chef has been here since the place opened and he only has night shifts. the only day he doesnt is sunday. which is 8am to 3pm.

our new hire has sunday-monday off. why cant i have that? i want a weekend day off. its not gonna happen in this industry. its not gonna happen in this kitchen. i cant do this for the next however many years,

[asexualaxolotl]

It's 3 in the morning. I'm laying in bed, ready to go to sleep.

But I want to talk about technoblade.

I dont remember how long ago it was, but I remember it was before he got floof. Me and my best friend were playing on some server called CloudMc. We were crossteaming on skywars, and we sucked. We moved to hypixel, and we sucked even more. Eventually, they told me about this one guy on YouTube. They said he was great at skywars, and that we should watch his videos to study his gameplay. Being the nerd I was, I thought that we'd be able to study it and get better. So, we watched a video. And then another.

When I went home that night and didn't think much of it. Next time I went over, I mentioned that youtuber. I had forgotten his name, so they showed me him again and we watched a few more videos. When I went home, I binged his skywars content. Alongside jaiden animations and theodd1sout, Technoblade was one of my favorite youtubers of all time. I kept watching him when he barely uploaded and loved each and every video he made. Eventually, this little thing called minecraft Monday popped up. "Oh, cool!" I thought. "Maybe techno will get a bit more popular from this! That would certainly be neat."

And so I watched

And God damn, did he get more popular.

"Technoblade never dies" was all over the place. Everyone knew him, and everyone feared him. It was fantastic. He continued to grow in popularity, and I couldn't help but love the newer stuff even more then the old. He started doing this little known thing called "actually uploading." To this day I still recall showing my aunt the great potato war, watching the first one (since it was the only one at the time) and explaining every little thing to her to make sure she loved it as much as I did.

And then, he was diagnosed. Now, little known fact about my previously mentioned friend: they had cancer aswell. To this day, they're still alive and kicking, so I thought that if they could survive, so could technoblade. I mean come on dude, it's fucking technoblade. This whole cancer thing was gonna turn into another joke in the community, just you wait and see.

When he died, I immediately cried. Very rarely does it only take me a few minutes to understand grief, but this was different. Nonetheless, it took about a week to settle in. I remember telling every friend I knew, even ones that didn't know. My cousin texted me the same day he passed and asked how I was taking the news. He knew that technoblade was important to me.

Technoblade was, and will always be, a hero. He was the first one to ever be famous and happy, and nothing will ever take away from that. He knew he was going to die atleast 6 days before he passed and continued fighting regardless. That motherfucker, he made merchandise to honor himself. He looked cancer in the eyes and told it that if he was going down, it was coming with him.

And thats fucking beautiful.

He was 100% my hero. He always was, and he always will be. Everything he did, everything he said, was brilliant. He was a genius and an amazing person, and I'm so glad I was able to live in the same world as him. Technoblades legacy is a symbol of what one person can do just by being themselves. He was smart, funny, and kind. And that got him so far in life.

Technoblade never dies. His community and his legacy are just as strong as he was. I will never forget the bravery that he had, and I doubt anyone else will.

[mysteriousdisco]

good evening little lovers hopers, how are you feeling today?

the week started as i never thought it would. i had a tiring monday, got up at 6:30 went to school, had lunch, back to school, then went to the therapist then jiu jitsu practices and just got home at 9:30pm. as i got home and were having my beloved dinner, chicken and rice watching sex and the city is got an instagram dm. who could that be? honestly at that time could be anyone, i had just posted a photo on my close friends about the jj practice and anyone could respond to that. as i rolled down the notification bar to see who was it, BOOM, there was it, the message i was waiting for a long time that i even thought that it never come. pencil asked me out for lunch. lets agree that he is a really confusing boy. i dont know how he is used to text girls and things like these but he is for sure confusing. Last friday i dont know what happened to him and he suddenly texted me asking about my class schedule. we talked a little but it wasnt nothing at all, and he didnt kept the conversation going so didnt i either, and he left me on read. that same day i was walking to the students council classroom as i walked past him and i was really shy since we have talked so little before so i didnt greeted him. he saw that i saw him but i didnt looked directly in his face so its safe. anyways, after that happened i was feeling bad for not saying hi, as i had been really unpolite so as the weekend went on i kept on thinking about sending him a message so he didnt think that i was ignoring him or something. but you know what? i had been thinking about this and boys dont think as girls do. boys arent paranoid as we are you know. one little thing happened and i kept on thinking about different scenarios that the situation would fit into.

so when he texted me on monday night, out of nowhere, asking me to meet up with him, i kept on thinking what made him want to see me? was it the thing that i passed by him and pretended that he wasnt there? was it that i didnt showed that much interest and that i dindt kept on messaging him everyday? well, these types of thoughts and paranoids isnt much of a boys type. they dont even think about things like these, but these things sure have an impact on their actions but they are really involuntary.

anyways. after i did some drama about it, i decided to go but i did take my bsf with me tho. i didnt think i could handle that alone, the pressure. i was goingv to be so ashamed. but it went well. we talked but it wasnt much. guys he is so much taller than me it is just uhgghhh i have to literally look up to talk to him. but is always giving mixed signals. after the lunch i tried to send him a message to starta convo again, he saw and didnt reply. today i saw him and he just said ‘good morning” yeah ok morning asshole on god guys what does on a boys mindddd!!!!!!!!!!

girls stay safe from boys like these!!

[fataleefemmee]

him

its holiday season and i'd be lying if i said i didnt want to get him something but i dont know if i should. i want to but its hard seeing him get spoiled by gifts from another. we spoke on friday about it a little bit, he asked me if it bothered me seeing photos of them, i couldnt lie so i told him i try not to let it bother me..... but it does.

ugh this man makes me feel some type of way... i fully have never been so attracted and so into a person before in my life. a legit fucking waterfall when im with him, he cant keep his hands off me and i cant keep mine off of him. he shaved his chest and good lord i wanted to die... it was so smooth and hes so fucking intoxicating. i cant get enough. the first time was quick because the tension, the build up, its all there, always there. i breathe and just want to inhale him tenfold. we cant stop once we start, its infatuating. his lips on my body, his body on mine, i want and i crave him so much.

he finished inside of me four times and id be lying if i said i wasnt scared but im not doing anything about it because i dont think i need to. i want him so bad, its becoming obsessive, but i dont know if its because i dont fully have him.

he laughs at me when i talk about my conspiracy theories after we get high with one another. he listens to me actually, like truly listens to me. we have all these little insiders between us. i feel like when we are fully together, well fall so hard for one another, a way hes never have before.

then there was today, monday. I had a bad morning, he knew it because he overheard, he went out of his way to send me a sweet text and it genuinely made me smile. i felt something i hadnt in a while, just sentiment. pure sentiment, happiness. i get excited when i hear from him, but i want to hear from him at every moment in time.

ugh, but i feel like im also losing myself waiting for him, i just need some fucking clarity. i told him i hated him during sex and he said it back.... i think maybe i said it because i meant to say i love you. but it was a "fuckk i hate you" and he said "i know, i hate you too"

as he was railing me in the air. fuck.

[the1975attheirverybest]

idk if you got my last ask but thank you, again and thank you ambrose

ive made a list of people im going to try and talk to including my tutor and the wellbeing team which will be a bit scary but ill figure it out. i also think i might ask a couple friends about studying together as that does help me to actually get stuff done

i had lunch before i went out and had the rice i made last night and im having the rest of it for dinner with veggie chicken nuggets and some extra veg. i was going to actually cook but i fell asleep for a bit after getting back from the shops, sorting out all the shopping (i actually managed to chop up a lot of the fresh produce which should make my life a bit easier) and having a cheese and tomato croissant and hopefully maybe i might do a tiny bit of something academic related as i have an essay due thursday and another the monday after 😬 (trying to propel myself with the advice i was given in sixth form that if something is worth doing its worth doing 1% of it)

but genuinely it means a lot that you both will try and help even though you dont know me or owe me anything - 🐸

hello!! good morning? - 🐸

hey, sorry, my fucked up sleep schedule is causing my inbox to be a mess. so just seeing these now.

I hope that you have managed to feel a bit better today and are hanging in there.

Bestie, we may not know you in the irl sense, but of course we owe you!! im always here if you just need to vent to chat!

[punkscowardschampions]

Barly

Carly: [some time after her fun times with Alison because the gals had to cleanse themselves in water and have a reset moment and generally just be allowed to live]

Carly: I’m sorry

Bartley: Why, what for now?

Carly: everything @ bonfire night idk

Bartley: It wasn’t so bad

Bartley: and you didn’t 😱👻 to make it weird, the less good parts

Carly: k grand

Carly: weren’t expecting the air to be cleared this quick but

Bartley: Not surprised you’re feeling the fear this morning, like

Bartley: s’why everyone hates Mondays, I reckon

Carly: im not 🍀🐇🌠 how u r to be feeling that type of way

Bartley: I weren’t even pissed, be why

Bartley: Notice Ronan was off his face too though, by the end

Carly: you was too busy 😍💋🥰💞😘💓’d be why bb

Carly: how are u to raise a glass when youve some lass always on your face 🌺🐝

Bartley: You sound jealous

Bartley: Another zombie girl situation, was it?

Carly: what of another 🤠🤎 for you wasnt it?

Bartley: I don’t know, I’ll not see her again so it doesn’t matter

Carly: u could if you’re after it mattering 🍯💛

Bartley: Tah for the permission, Carls

Carly: I mean cos shes a mate of alis brother & hes a mate of mine

Carly: if you want to see her its not like youd have need of searching every pop up shop for a lass on till

Bartley: You’re well ���

Bartley: Mosey boy should still have her number, somewhere in his contact list, you can find her

Carly: my god shut up gobshite 😅

Bartley: 😏

Bartley: I just mean, that girl talked too much, when she weren’t attached to my face, I’m not after seeing her again off my back

Carly: ah now theres sense course thats why you was on her constant not cos u like her 😏

Bartley: I’m not being mean, don’t think she even asked what my name was either

Carly: im not calling u mean boy it was a party & yous both had your fun

Bartley: The comparisons are never far off

Carly: youre never far from slagging me but hey i was trying to see how long we’d go before you started

Bartley: Am not

Bartley: the only reason you like Ronan is because he has no opinions of his own and that suits you

Carly: oh please hes loads of opinions of me & they dont suit no more than the 1s the rest of yous lads have do

Bartley: Yeah right, I know how dead easy he is to convince, we do it all the time

Carly: whats it you reckon I’m here wanting to convince him of?

Bartley: I don’t need to say it, you know

Carly: I dont

Bartley: Nah, you’re after tricking me into slagging you already sos you win, more like

Carly: yea cos what a victory thatd b like

Bartley: Your shit game, play a different one

Carly: im playing none im only telling you I’m not after him

Bartley: Does that mean you’re after Moses again

Bartley: better warn his mammy, like

Carly: no never

Bartley: Believe that when I 👀 it

Carly: cant u believe it hurt us getting rated?

Bartley: no, ‘course it did

Bartley: but has he tried to apologise to you yet?

Carly: hes swore to make my life a misery cos i dont fancy fucking him no more, where it was left, more or less

Bartley: Jesus, well

Carly: i think this heres where im meant to warn yous all hes hoping you’ll all get yourselves involved in them fun & games like im scared or care

Bartley: He’s not said anything, not when I’ve been there

Bartley: maybe he was already half-cut when he said that to you, didn’t really mean it

Carly: yea maybe

Bartley: Sounds it

Bartley: he’ll have found someone else to bother by now, forgot all about that

Carly: dont even know how to make a girl feel special w his threats

Bartley: I’m just saying, don’t be scared

Carly: he dont scare me

Bartley: Good

Carly: its your turn to the now

Bartley: My turn to what?

Carly: scare us

Bartley: Not Halloween no more

Carly: only a week gone somehow

Bartley: your getup were a lot scarier craic anyhow 

Carly: least yous all dressed up loads of lads from school never far as I saw

Bartley: Mosey fancies himself enough to love all that

Carly: are you not to bother yourself next year then?

Bartley: I felt like a divvy

Bartley: different for lasses, you all love it

Carly: 🥺 I loved waiting to work out what youd picked to be 💔 for that as the last time & end of an era

Bartley: You’re such a pisstake

Bartley: I’ll try and think on before the day of next time, or go looking alone, so the best costumes don’t get nabbed

Carly: or you could let us make u 1 ❤️🎨✨🧡🧵💚💄🖤 cos I am not a pisstake

Bartley: Oh, sure, be the easiest way to go about being a massive one 😅

Carly: nah youve just massive issues w trust

Bartley: I don’t

Bartley: you’re not serious anyway

Carly: yea I am

Bartley: Maybe then

Bartley: is a whole year off now - 1 week so you’ve got time to be dead ❤️🎨✨🧡🧵💚💄🖤

Carly: yay 🖤🧡🎃🖤🧡👻🤍🧄💀🖤🧡🎃🖤🧡

Carly: dead excited to prove myself

Bartley: You who offered, moody

Carly: you’ve a whole year to work out for yourself when I’m being serious

Bartley: I already know the answer to that

Carly: u so dont

Bartley: Yeah I do, you’re never bloody serious, that’s your problem, girl

Carly: youd not handle me if I was

Bartley: That a threat of 😤 or 😭?

Carly: Id reckon its a reminder of when I tried to talk to you serious at the party & your eyes near fell out your head for the size they went

Bartley: You didn’t mean to say it, was being polite ignoring it

Carly: k eejit youre never polite, your problem

Bartley: Oh, so you let that pair walk all over you but I’m the rude one, how’s that work

Carly: yous can all be, sure, enough of it to go round, hows that?

Bartley: It don’t, you’ve no sense or shame to let him act like that just because you reckon him pretty

Carly: i know ive not, everybody knows ive not

Bartley: You could, you’re not totally braindead

Carly: i feel it

Bartley: act it out enough times for it to be all you hear, sure you do

Carly: it was all i heard before I acted up any time

Bartley: It’s not totally your fault

Carly: remember I go weird when youre nice

Bartley: yeah, don’t stop you having a go the rest of the time, weirdo

Carly: 👶😭 what go like?

Bartley: You can only take a joke off Moses when you want him to fuck you

Carly: hes no jokes when he wants to fuck me or he don’t

Carly: the lad’s loads of things but not gas

Bartley: I never said he was funny

Carly: it werent about him making us laugh

Bartley: no shit

Carly: y talk about moses when it only makes you 😤😠

Bartley: You made it so its all that’s to be said when your name comes up

Carly: wow k then

Bartley: What? You know it’s true

Carly: i never knew that was all you had to say to me but theres us told

Bartley: If you wanted to be mates with us, you wouldn’t have done what you have

Carly: right yea ill be off 😶💚👋

Bartley: For fuck’s sake, can’t you just admit that you did wrong, like

Carly: i have

Carly: what else are you after 🩸🙏📿?

Bartley: A sorry you don’t stick to don’t mean anything, you know

Bartley: You lot never do

Carly: wes done w each other, me & moses, I’m sticking to it

Carly: & ro’s just a friend now

Bartley: Believe it when I see it, yeah

Bartley: You can’t expect everyone to be convinced of that yet

Carly: take long as you need 🤠

Bartley: Whatever, you never listen to good advice

Carly: give it & maybe i’ll

Bartley: You want to do what you’ve done and are gonna keep doing

Bartley: why should I even bother

Carly: you’re not listening yourself I said ⬆️

Carly: but don’t bother w me & my 🍃🌱 if youre no believer in it

Bartley: Prove us wrong, no one’d be happier for you to stop fucking things up

Carly: k ��

Bartley: K yourself, nightmare

Carly: don’t call me that 

Bartley: calm down

Carly: no

Carly: you sound like him & youre not

Bartley: I’m so sorry I’m not him, Jesus

Carly: you shouldnt b sorry

Carly: nobody is after you being him

Bartley: He’s a bit of a liability but he’ll come round, probably

Carly: I hope he does to yous all

Bartley: There’s only so wild people will put up with but he’s not like that bad

Bartley: long as he’s grafting, not fucking with other people’s families, he’ll not be going anywhere

Carly: yea, he’ll come grand once he grows up

Bartley: Still be a gobshite and a poser but you know

Bartley: worse crimes

Carly: yous lads have all committed them

Bartley: Not my family, not like his, their daddy lets them get away with all the stuff he still wants to

Carly: don’t start me on their daddy, I know my place that much

Bartley: Don’t be grim, or accuse him of that sort of carry on, people get strung up by their balls for less

Carly: not me who hes carrying on with if hes round this caravan

Bartley: There you go, how can any of them be expected to carry themselves with respect when he’s their example

Bartley: If their mammy had any backbone yours would be without hers, you don’t make it that obvious, in front of her and everyone she’s to live with, feeling sorry for her 

Carly: sure, ive no argument there, sorry if youre expecting 1

Bartley: I know you don’t like yours as much as she reckons it so

Carly: I like her how any girl of my age does her mammy, problem lies in her not wanting to act the part

Bartley: or her age

Bartley: I’ve seen you go all dead when she’s acting the maggot, it’s pure shaming, no one proper blames you for her being that mental

Carly: everyone instead reckons i take after her id rather the blame

Bartley: It’s just the same as them, how are you to be better, you’ve no daddy to take the pair of yous in hand either

Carly: Im not mental though

Carly: whatever else I am im not, k? Youve to know that’s so

Bartley: I didn’t say you were, only as a joke

Carly: i cant laugh @ it sorry

Bartley: Alright, alright

Bartley: you’re hanging, I get it

Carly: I hate that youve 👀 me away 💀👻

Bartley: The others don’t notice, not that they’ve ever said and it’d be a weird thing for me to bring up to ‘em

Carly: whyve you?

Bartley: I dunno

Carly: if youre to be looking @ me im to put more effort into being prettier 💄💅✨

Bartley: you’re not

Carly: i know im not thats where the effort is 🎀

Bartley: Leave off with that, you know what I meant

Carly: are you leaving off 👀?

Bartley: I weren’t looking through your window at night, don’t make it sound weird

Carly: its weird u know something they all dont but no surprise

Bartley: Maybe Ro knows, seeing as you twos are so close these days

Bartley: wouldn’t be after telling you if he did

Carly: wes further apart than ever these days but thats my own fault so

Carly: theres only ali who ive let 👀 can’t stop her same as you

Bartley: You can’t stop me

Carly: I dont want to

Bartley: There you go then

Carly: what do you want boy?

Bartley: you talking my ear off, what do you want, girl

Carly: if that was true youd of stayed w me @ the party not your girl [her name]

Bartley: I were being polite, you’ve already been told

Carly: you don’t like me when im high

Bartley: Not really, no

Carly: but I don’t myself when im sober

Bartley: I’ve seen it before, you’re too young and not a bloke

Carly: idk how to make you understand what youve not seen

Bartley: Probably not my business, you don’t have to

Carly: probably cant be inviting you to look in my windows or you’ll be 😤😠 @ me

Bartley: You like mental, even if you don’t wanna be called it

Carly: nobody likes for proper mental

Bartley: nah?

Carly: im not after being locked up where ali’s brother is

Bartley: that’s a bit different, Carls

Carly: i dont feel no different to it unless i take something that changes how 

Bartley: They reckon he killed her, you’ve never done nothing like that, don’t be stupid

Carly: he never she killed herself & sometimes I get why you know

Bartley: you’re not to say things like that

Carly: im no catholic saying or doing isnt off limits

Bartley: We’re right and that’s wrong though

Carly: is it?

Bartley: Yes, you twat, shut up about it

Carly: see, you dont like us when I’m not high neither

Bartley: Why would you say that? Nothing is that bad, is it

Carly: cos

Carly: idk [her mum] had this fella round whos bad enough & i thought hed away when i took myself off w ali but hes no moved himself all that far

Bartley: Go on, what’s his craic?

Carly: - craic

Bartley: Yeah but

Bartley: you seem scared or like, idk

Carly: im too tired to b on how she wants or turn him off hows needed 🥱😴

Bartley: Get him to go outside for a smoke or something

Bartley: just give me a bit, to sort it, yeah

Carly: im not bringing my trouble to you

Carly: no, like

Bartley: We’ve all sisters and nieces here, why do we want that sort on our site

Carly: hes been told im older theyre all of them lied to shes my big sister or best mate, its her craic

Bartley: She’s delusional, he’s got eyes

Carly: men use em to see what suits not whats real

Bartley: Not proper men

Carly: come on shes never filling this caravan up with proper men

Bartley: She can’t be trusted with anything, obviously

Carly: ill go back out idc

Bartley: For God’s sake

Carly: youre invited unless youve work on tomorrow

Bartley: you can’t just bring that up and then drop it like that

Carly: I can’t do fuck all else & im to be sure not letting you

Bartley: I wouldn’t on my own, I’m not thick, I told you give me a second

Carly: you might still be hurt hes a grown man & youre not no older than me

Bartley: No I won’t, I know how to fight, tah

Carly: idk that he dont too, catch yourself on, will u

Bartley: he’s to be outnumbered, calm yourself down

Carly: rich of you telling us to be calm when youre about to 💪🥊🤕

Carly: stop yourself please

Bartley: why should we?

Carly: i said please

Bartley: You should want it handled, why would you not

Carly: how you mean to handle it’ll knock me 🤢🤮 worrying over you

Bartley: None of us will get hurt and he shan’t come back, whatever lies your mammy is telling, it’s easy

Carly: its my fault if any of yous do & even if it werent i care whatever happens

Carly: more than I ever am about where that fella puts himself

Bartley: Why would you tell me and then say we can’t do anything about it

Carly: idk 😵‍💫 i didnt mean to

Bartley: For God’s sake, girl

Carly: I’m sorry

Bartley: Forget it just get out of there and go find Ali

Carly: shes busy or id not have left her

Bartley: go sit in [the communal middle bit where they have the bonfires and whatnot, you know where I mean] then

Carly: [do and send a pic from there, not of you because you don’t wanna show yourself in the state you’re clearly in, but so he knows you’re there] 

Bartley: Alright, good

Carly: i’m doing what im told you have to yourself & not have a scrap w my ma’s latest

Bartley: I shouldn’t listen to you, by all rights

Carly: but youre decent, a good boy 

Bartley: Calling me that isn’t helping your case, like

Carly: what’ll I call you then like?

Bartley: Call you a pisstaker

Carly: idm id have heard worse if i stayed in

Bartley: you’ve not convinced me not doing anything is the right thing to do 

Carly: do something else & you’ll quit thinking about it

Bartley: I shan’t

Carly: im grand now

Bartley: You could’ve put some clothes on, you’ll freeze

Carly: where are you even 👀 from? fuck

Bartley: out my window, which is the opposite of what you said, don’t act like I’ve got a hockey mask and a baseball bat

Carly: don’t look @ me for the now how about 😳

Bartley: You need a blanket, something

Carly: im no going in for it id sooner 🥶

Bartley: [throw one out of your window, can’t just come out, obviously]

Carly: [go grab it and wrap it around yourself while stood right next to his window, could just wait til you’re back seated so he can’t see you as well but obviously we’re not gonna do that]

Bartley: [doing the smallest wave as if you are locked in here, stepping back and out of sight after a pause like that’s enough]

Carly: [doing an oh you kind of lol before she heads back to where she was before, looking over her shoulder as she’s walking though cos you know he’s still lurking even if you can’t see him]

Carly:  💚👽🌱🦗🍐🍃🍏🍀🧃🥝💚

Carly: still idk what to do w how sweet u can be

Bartley: I’m not sweet and I know what it’s shorthand for

Carly: i dont tell us

Bartley: Yeah you do and it’s why you go for lads like Mosey who aren’t sweet

Carly: i got wrong reckoning he was or could be

Bartley: That’s the mammy in you, reckoning he could do no wrong when he’s so sweet when he wants something

Carly: nah its the little girl in us he said hed protect me & I so bad wanted him to

Bartley: He were never after that, don’t think it’s important to

Carly: im stupid

Bartley: if you’d have known, wouldn’t have half the success rate he does, you’re not the only one who falls for it

Carly: 1 of these days youll answer that I’m not 🎱🔮

Bartley: one of these days, you’ll act it, yeah

Carly: took the blanket for a start

Bartley: It’s a start

Carly: & your 👋💚

Bartley: You were doing your best Samara impression, be why

Bartley: 😶 not move on else

Carly: k you hate being called sweet enough to b after me taking it back 🍋💔

Bartley: A bit like your costume

Carly: was gonna do her from the exorcist but it felt like tempting fate for 🤢🤮

Bartley: Be gas to see your head do a 360 though

Carly: oh would it now

Carly: im fair flexible but idk if id go that far

Bartley: Not an 🦉

Carly: ill do you that carry on when shes off down the stairs 

Bartley: 🤣 will ya now

Carly: yea

Bartley: Wait ‘til the next party, would look pure nuts doing it out there on your own

Carly: wait til im somewhere w for proper stairs

Bartley: can’t call anything ‘round here more than steps, true enough

Carly: maybe for your birthday 🎁

Bartley: Where are we after going with stairs then 😏

Carly: id say ali’s but your girl would probably be there & outshine me w her 🎭🩰🎨🎬✨

Bartley: You don’t need to call her that just ‘cos we can’t remember her name

Carly: shes that cos shes after you so bad

Carly: her name’s [whatever it is]

Bartley: Only for the night

Carly: all the nights yous are in the same place

Bartley: And how often do I find myself at 🎭🩰🎨🎬✨ shit, girl?

Carly: you liked it at ali’s did you not? & you wasnt behaving so as youd never be invited again

Bartley: She’s decent craic, sure

Carly: ali or [this gal]

Bartley: Ali

Bartley: I don’t know about her family, mind

Carly: i told you her sisters not well like

Bartley: I know, I know

Carly: she hates me but the rest are decent themselves

Bartley: She wants Ali back, to be sure

Carly: course id have her to myself too if there was any say to be had in it

Bartley: Alright, gay

Carly: the girl’s magic ❤️🍄🧡🐅💛🌞💚🍀💙🧿💜🔮

Bartley: As bad as Ronan, you are

Carly: why arent u?

Bartley: What do you mean?

Carly: y dont you fancy her?

Bartley: ‘Cos Ro does

Carly: did you before you knew about ro?

Bartley: He has for ages, not exactly subtle 

Bartley: She’s pretty, sure, but you don’t do that to mates, nor family

Carly: k true enough

Bartley: I’d say you were about equal, anyway, you know

Carly: what? ah no

Bartley: why not

Carly: why would that be so?

Bartley: I dunno, you’re different but the same

Carly: I wish we were the same

Bartley: Are you jealous of her?

Carly: I’m too happy for her

Carly: but its shite i cant b as happy for myself as well

Bartley: Dunno why you girls can never be happy with yourselves

Carly: it isnt only for how pretty she is though

Carly: its how smart & nice & brave & loads else ❤️🍄🧡🐅💛🌞💚🍀💙🧿💜🔮

Carly: & for her family, all she has

Bartley: Don’t all that make you like her less

Bartley: a 🤏

Carly: no, shes never looking down @ us how id probably if I had all she does

Bartley: suppose not

Bartley: Is the smug cunts who are the worst, aye

Carly: you 👀 the girl over her fence?

Bartley: Yeah, nearly shit myself, she were proper giving it The Ring vibes, her

Bartley: nosy neighbours is one big reason not to have a house

Carly: youre making us wanna watch it now boy chuck your 📺 out

Bartley: bit more rock and roll when they weren’t flatscreen

Bartley: We could watch it, if you lot want to hang out like proper friends, me, you, Ro & Ali

Carly: 📺❤️📼💛🍿💚

Bartley: Something like that

Carly: ill find my hairbrush out before to not scare yous

Bartley: and no pea soup if we watch The Exorcist too

Carly: pissing myself on your carpet would be - craic too but its k ill not be out here in your blanket til then hed not the stamina to have

Bartley: If he’s not gone by [a time we’re deeming too late for her to be outside by] I swear

Carly: oh hes laying down the law

Carly: are you to be my brother or my daddy now?

Bartley: Behave yourself, it isn’t funny, all this

Carly: am like a 🐶 left out sure enough

Bartley: She’s such a

Bartley: you shouldn’t have to do this

Carly: [excuse me being EVIL by saying this man comes outside to smoke and is literally and blatantly chatting Carly up like she isn’t 12 years old, here not replying because we’re here going dead again while this man is the most grim]

Bartley: [not you having to rush out so dramatically this man is gonna be shook until he sees you’re just a teenage boy, coming over and putting your arm around her shoulder like come on, get up, trying not to look at or acknowledge this creep right now because you’re blatantly fuming]

Carly: [this poor girl has left the building because you just know that gross man was too in her grill and touching her and I’m soz we cannot, purely moving because this boy is moving her rn, the audacity of her mother and the boyfriends she picks]

Bartley: [direct her into your caravan via holding her shoulders, this man better hush because if this boy has to fight you, his fam will come out and fuck you up, gotta know where you are, honey; sit this girl down on your sofa like all that’s happened is a change of seat and your jaw isn’t clenched so tight you feel like it’s stuck that way]

Carly: [get back inside to the age appropriate lady or leave sir those are your choices, you can’t be that stupid, god only knows how long poor Carly will stay put before she’s finally back in the room and then is hugging her knees to her chest, still wrapped in this blanket, and risking a look at this boy like he’s gonna be mad at her instead of the fucked up circumstances in which she finds herself through no fault of her own]

Bartley: [not really helping you think otherwise with our face like thunder over this but can’t help being that bitch I’m afraid, the way we kept glaring out the window ‘til that dude went away and are now just pacing lowkey, putting the telly on, as you pass and clearly catch her eye, like that is the most comforting thing you can manage in these circumstances]

Carly: [looking away from this boy SO immediately when he catches your eye because genuinely feel like a kicked dog in this moment as if everything is your fault and you’ve done the wrong thing over and over again from the second you got back from having fun with Alison ‘he’s gone, I’ll myself’ taking this blanket off and trying to neatly fold it but you’re all shaky and upset so you can’t and it feels like an impossible task ‘sorry’ as if it’s for the folding fail and not everything]

Bartley: [the ‘wait’ coming out a bit too fast and loud, so you’re going redder than your mad face already is because don’t want her to think you’re scared of this man, kicking this blanket aside because I highly doubt you’re neat, you’re teenage boys with your own space lmao and you could not care less about said blanket right now ‘just chill’ as if that’s an easily achievable thing]

Carly: [when it makes you jump because it’s sudden and loud and you didn’t expect him to say it or anything in fact and that makes you feel even more embarrassed and sad than you already do, like there are literal tears coming to this girl’s eyes about it that she’s trying not to shed in front of this angry boy ‘I can’t’ so quietly because you dare not express how !! and true that is when you already think he thinks you’re mentally ill ‘I’d-’ stopping yourself cos you were about to say something about needing to get drunk/high again there and you know he hates it and doesn’t understand ‘I can’t’]

Bartley: [‘please don’t’ when you’re saying please but you’re also wincing because you in no way know how to handle this or what you’re meant to do now she’s here and so are you ‘you’re to tell her never again’ as if this is a thing that will work because got to say something and it should be a warning she listens to ‘or I will’]

Carly: [‘I’ve tried for years and years’ in that resigned way of you have and it hasn’t changed anything ‘at the first, I think I was 10, Christ knows how old I looked to him’ with a shrug because you do know, you aren’t a girl who looks older and that’s the tea]

Bartley: [just cursing this man out in your own language, as well as all the others before, under your breath but so angrily ‘you’d be better off without her’ as the thing you say in English and more directly to her]

Carly: [when you probably understand most if not all of what he’s saying anyway because you’ve always lived here and thus have picked it up like a 2nd language basically ‘she’s my ma, still’ said like whether she acts it or not because she absolutely never does but you have love for her and want her to nevertheless]

Bartley: [the noise of scorn that honestly deserves at this point, ma’am, shaking our head because ‘my point remains’ throwing yourself down into the armchair/other sofa because a lot of pent up emotions and nowhere to put them right now so having to do everything in a dramatic fashion]

Carly: [‘without her I don’t know where I’d be’ because truly where would they put you gal ‘except not here, sure look, maybe that’d be better but I’m not after going off’ just like this is my home soz everyone]

Bartley: [still shaking your head, shrug your shoulders, only stopping shaking your head when you put in your hands and breathe out in frustration]

Carly: [‘yeah’ like yeah I know, cos we’re frustrated by our lot in life too sir but we don’t feel like there is anything we can do to change it other than the unhealthy coping mechanisms we have]

Bartley: [‘your room have a lock on it?’ in such a matter of fact, resigned kind of tone because you don’t know what else you can do right now]

Carly: [shake your head because you’re not the sort of girl to be doing DIY like that to keep yourself safe, Ali is but you’ve clearly not expressed how badly you need one and it’s not every dude your mother brings home who’s acting like this ‘but I’ve the bathroom’ like that’s fine]

Bartley: [looking at her like no it is not before looking to the TV you put on as if you’re watching it remotely ‘we’ll put one on’]

Carly: [looking at him only when he’s looking at the TV despite the fact we all know he can feel it ‘okay’ quietly cos we’re accepting this not fighting him on it or saying anything bants etc]

Bartley: [not looking back, just nodding because can’t commit to any more, switching the channel, to something you can at least say you want to watch, opposed to whatever just came on when you put this telly on]

Carly: [getting up to go like you can just quietly slip out like a little ghost as though you were never here but obvs stopping before you get to the door and turning back like - because you wanna thank him for what he did but you don’t know how to because it feels SO big, literally nobody cares about this girl but Alison and that cannot be overstated ‘you are decent, a good boy’ said sincerely like no bants or lies detected]

Bartley: [looking over at her like you did not just say that but you can’t help but do a little smirk, almost as if it’s against your will with how tiny it is but still, rubbing the back of your neck ‘away with you now’]

Carly: [doing a lil smile back because she can’t help that either ‘you’re not to watch me’ like he’s gonna be at the window lurking until she’s inside when it’s not far to go at all, but ofc said like he absolutely can and she doesn’t mind because she doesn’t and in fact wants him to, wrapping her arms around herself in preparation for how cold it’ll be outside and how much she doesn’t really wanna head back there cos her mum will either be in a mood this man has left and wanting to overshare about it or her bestie as per and wanting to keep the party going and neither is the wanted vibe]

Bartley: [flipping her off for calling you a stalker but you’re grinning back more openly so she knows you’re all good here, even if you know what her mother is like and do not envy her going back, you can’t offer her an alternative ‘take the blanket’ as a throwaway comment as she hugs herself because it do be chilly]

Carly: [doing the kind of pure and happy lol she did at bonfire night which is usually reserved for Ali only and/or being high as she slips out of the door, waving off his blanket offer like no no I couldn’t possibly ‘it’s yours’ as if he needs it more here for his TV watching]

Bartley: I’ll get you a lock after work tomorrow

Carly: 🔒💚

Carly: ill sleep for the knowing of it

Bartley: I’m glad, go get some, said you were tired

Carly: you’ve work ill let you get your head down bb

Bartley: 👌

[megismorallysunny]

HELLO AGAIN 20/09/23

ok so i said i might talk about a situation with a sub yesterday but i didnt end up writing about it, ok so our history and geography teacher was out probably bc theres a cold going around the school. anyways so we had a sub for the past two weeks and i was also out on friday which was a geography day, so this is all second hand information but its from my bestie "Diorite" nicknamed after my one of my fav blocks in minecraft. anyways so what happened is my class all got out of their seats because class was ending in under a minute. but anyways the sub gets mad and says "HEY EVERYONE SIT DOWN NOW ITS NOT THE END OF CLASS" and one of my classmates idk who says "but theres a few seconds left sir" and also its lunch next and the good things run out fast, my class is also in one of the hardest to get out of hallways so like it was completely justified. then the sub says "EMERALD YOUR STAYING AFTER CLASS" also ive nicknamed every1 in my class after a gem and emeralds a guy idk i think thats just a lil important. as soon as the bell goes emerald runs tf out and the sub RUNS AFTER HIM, he starts pushing people out of the way and yelling "EMERALD, EMERALD" apparently people from the canteen could here him, which is like far enough ish away. then the sub catches up and GRABS EMERALDS WRIST and emerald shouts at him "CLASS IS OVER SIR" and then the sub walks away, giving out under his breath. anyways the reason why i didnt say this on like saturday or whenever i said i was, was beacuse i was hoping for some kind of update. i was in school on monday and tuesday, we had first class with our tutor and she didnt mention anything but in english our teacher said "the bell doesnt dismiss you what does, emerald?" and emerald was like "uhh the bell?" and english teacher says "no emerald the teacher" also this came out of nowhere, we werent talking about anything like this before. so yeah quite confusing, and more confusing to pick emerald. on tuesday we had history first and i was really excited to see the sub bc it was gonna be really fucking entertaining. but turns out we had a different teacher. me and diorite were all like "omg i wonder what happened." diorite thinks he didnt want to sub for us anymore and admitted defeat, but i think that he got suspended. in second year a first year told on a teacher for swearing at her, and the teacher was like never seen after that. the teachers still dont talk about her or answer our questions. our history sub was weird, like proper weird, and very antisocial, like walks into other rooms to get stuff he needs during class which isnt too weird people forget things but he doesnt say hi or why hes there, anyways diorites in all my classes, bar woodwork, graphics, maths and business and while we were in history i said, "omg look at his head theres so much blood on it" and she snarkily replied with "yeah like you" (i had spots ok that sometimes bled but i hadnt had that for like 2 months so ty diorite that was luvely jubilee) then i said "no really look" and she gasped like proper gasped, she doesnt gasp not at all. so i was right yeah i know *mic drop* yeah yeah. but there was really a concerning amount of blood on the side of his head but id seen it before so i wasnt too creeped out. anyways not too much else happened so yeah hope you have a good morning, day and night. <333

[biglisbonnews]

Cher Is Making Music With Her Producer Boyfriend Cher is back in the studio, at long last! The inventor of the modern gay club dance track revealed to E! News Monday that she and boyfriend Alexander Edwards are collaborating on new music. She told the outlet, "I'm going to England to make two albums," and added that "Some of the songs Alexander gave me, so I'm pretty excited about that. He's a producer and a writer and does everything, so I'm happy about that." Cher also teased that the two albums in the oven might accompany a tour later in 2023, and told E!, "I'm trying to get myself in shape." The singer's Here We Go Again Tour was her last time on the road, and it kicked off in 2018 to accompany her last studio album Dancing Queen, which released that same year. It wrapped early in March 2020 at the onset of the pandemic. \u201cWe\u2019re Grown ups\u201d — Cher (@Cher) 1669258525 When news of the singer's relationship with Edwards first made the rounds in November 2022, Cher let off a string of tweets defending her relationship and their 40-year age gap. Among other things, she explained that love doesn't know math and "we're grown ups." She added: "I DONT GIVE MEN QUALITIES THEY DONT POSSESS.ITS A RECIPE 4 DISASTER.HES”NOT”HIS TATS, HAIR COLOR,DIMOND GRILL. I♥️HIM BECAUSE HE WASNT AFRAID.HES KIND, HILARIOUS, SMART, TALENTED, BEAUTIFUL. WE TALK & LAUGH.WE R PERFECTLY MATCHED. DO I WISH I WAS YOUNGER,YAH,I’M NOT BOO FKN HOO."On Christmas morning, Cher also posted what looked to be an engagement ring. She never clarified what the ring actually was, but did go on to gush about Edwards during an appearance on The Kelly Clarkson Show in January. During the interview, she told Clarkson over FaceTime: “Older men just didn’t like me all that much. Do you know what I mean? I have had a couple boyfriends that were hovering around my age, but they just didn’t like me for some reason. And maybe younger men don’t care if you’re funny or outrageous and want to do stupid things, and you have the strong personality. I’m not giving up my personality for anybody, okay?”Edwards, as previously reported, is a music executive at Universal Music Group and has produced for Tyga. He also has a child with Amber Rose, Slash Electric Alexander Edwards, who was born in 2019 when the couple was still together. They eventually split in 2021. Photo via Joce Zerojack/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images/Getty. https://www.papermag.com/cher-boyfriend-2659516618.html

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

20 February 2023 Monday 🐮🌕🌗🌘🌑🌒

autocorrect Monday monster I is morning 7:13 7:14 pmpdt

lunes getsuyoubi

7:15 pmpdt auto saved 7:16 pmpdt

Nick asked for “friends with benefits” sophomore year. Junior & senior year I joined track & cross country running teams. At first I used my p.e. Uniform to save money. Then, a new coach offered hand me down athletic wear: 1 black shorts at least (head pain exhaling hot air 7:22 pmpdt) + a few more items I think, I don’t remember well. I don’t remember saying anything about income or financial situation. My dad had probably already lectured me about living within my means so I think I probably thought that using the p.e. Uniform was ok. 7:26 pmpdt for some reason my sister yelled at me in the locker room to stop telling people we are poor. All I think I did was try to recall if I said that to anyone. I think I stared at her silently at this time. My memory is not very good so I am guessing this was the cause & effect. That people were judging maybe about how much money we had based on what we wore. 7:32 7:33 pmpdt

8:04 pmpdt auto correct changed intimate to intimadate in the previous posts. Gurgling a lot. I really feel like I am a liar & a bad person. Maybe incubus is pretending to be my husband Bcz I dated my first real boyfriend & went to family events 😓😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😤😖😭 I hate not being able to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ 8:07 pmpdt. Maybe I said too many bad things about my ex & flings. Maybe I didn’t take enough responsibility. 8:08 pmpdt maybe I slandered ? Was it the curse? Was it the incubus in control? Or was it me? 8:09 pmpdt I wish I could remember everything I ever said verbatim. So I could evaluate now. But with Scott, it seems like maybe he deserved to be talked about. He’s bigger than me, has a big head, & I guess very strong 💪 & probably secretly threatening. If you read a previous post (many posts down) you might read about the time he put his whole arm around my neck like a snake 🐍 at least 2 times? In the middle of making out. He didn’t choke me but he put me in the position to be choked by his arm. & I stupidly kept on seeing him. 8:14 pmpdt & he didn’t respect ✊ me when I said “I dont think we should do this.” I think that’s what I said. 8:15 pmpdt

8:32 pmpdt incubus cut I think maybe under? The diaphragm bone 🦴???? It hurt 😞. I don’t like it.

8:33 pmpdt when we were still friends b4 becoming boyfriend girlfriend I told him that my feelings suddenly dropped/ended for the guy I thought 💭 I was in love with 😍. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if he understood what I was saying. I thought I was communicating my disappointment & sadness & confusion about the feelings suddenly ending. & then he asked if I wanted to see that movie 🎥. 8:37 pmpdt maybe 🤔 he had feelings for me? But ended too, similarly, & had hoped it would come back & work out? 8:38 pmpdt this is a I guess conundrum I heard someone use that word once still have to look it up if I didn’t. I think it means problem. 8:39 pmpdt what are real feelings like?

8:40 pmpdt does real love 💕 exist? How long does it last? My dad told me disappointing stuff I think 🤔 b4 I turned 18, so it’s hard to think positively about anyone saying forever ♾ love 💕, I think I hoped for someone to feel something forever ♾ with, but in this situation it seems highly unlikely. Incubus Merlin 🧙‍♂️ love 💗 potion 🧪 spells 🪄. 8:43 pmpdt goodby happiness it’s automatic 🎶🎼🎵🎤 utada hikaru. 8:44 pmpdt

8:46 pmpdt I guess I should have been more honest. Upfront. He got a nice futon bed 🛌 couch 🛋 out of it though. & s*x w/o full commitment but I guess that don’t mean anything to incubus & uses it as a reason to downgrade me. Even though he had s*x w/ at least 2 people b4 me. I wonder 💭 how he’s doing. If he was treated better than me by the incubus. 8:49 pmpdt

9:10 pmpdt add to above:exclusive? Monogamous s*x & it was my virginity! 9:11 pmpdt pain left upper inner thigh bone 🦴.

1:28 am pdt I guess I’m a slanderer. Pacific i slander. Something I only noticed maybe last year that that looks like that. It’s weird. Bcz it’s only expected of islanders? Then? No one else slanders? Interesting. Billions of people but only those on islands are slanderers. 1:31 am pdt I’m not proud of it. If you read all the other posts you might recall that I wanted to stop talking about Scott back around 2010, sometime after I stopped seeing him. I wanted to set myself straight. Bcz I didn’t feel it was right but I had difficulty stopping myself whenever I was in front of someone who liked me or was trying to be my friend. & it decreased my happiness a lot & I already had difficulty being happy & difficulty liking? myself & being myself, so I stopped hanging out with people. 1:36 am pdt my rib cage feels like a corset again. I hate this. I want to breathe! Some people I had difficulty liking & I wanted to like them. & then I ended up talking bad about them Bcz I had difficulty accepting my own feelings & difficulty understanding? Myself. Headache. 1:28 am pdt my rib cage keeps on getting tighter & tighter. I really believe he don’t like me. Maybe he don’t like Jaycee dugard either. 😞😖😭😤🥵😤🥵 I remember one thing autocorrect said remove now????? 1:40 am pdt what????? Jaycee dugard???? I don’t understand. I remember instant messaging Nick that I got an A+ in our algebra class! I thought 💭 that would impress him. & then he asked me if I would let a guy finger me. Interesting. That was the summer b4 sophomore year, & then sophomore year started, & first day of school 🏫 I saw he got back together w/his girlfriend from freshman year. Then they broke up 🆙 & then he instant messaged me again asking for friends with benefits. 1:43 am pdt 1:44 am pdt 1:45 am pdt

21 February 2023 Tuesday Martest

12:47 pmpdt I remember some of times I lied 🤥. Sometimes I forget & then it comes back to me. 12:48 #3 cramps left shoulder pain. I think 💭 when I was 7 years old I started becoming 12:49 pmpdt

6:12 pmpdt incubus made me vomit 🤮 & then I got diarrhea cramps again. Incubus does this to torture me rob me of my bones 🦴 & health. He’s killing me & doctors 🥼 are taking their time not helping me ASAP. The continued torture only reaffirmed that god is incubus. He treated Virgin Mary like a whore. He kept her poor & religious so she probably wouldn’t chase other men? Treats poor people as whores. Incubus did not properly court Virgin Mary. How could we believe a man would not rape a woman 👩🏼 when he has the power too? He is gaslighting us to say “immaculate conception” or whatever. He is a pimp. & will always be a pimp. 8 billion people with doppelgängers every where. Accomplished goals already or not possible? Continued torture reconfirms he’s bad news 📰. Apep? 6:20 pmpdt I’m burning 🔥 again. Cooked. Yaki 6:21 pmpdt I don’t like diarrhea I’m losing my bones 🦴. He’s trying to cut off my legs 🦵. Prostitution is legal in Germany 🇩🇪? Where have all the good people gone? Are there no such thing as good people? I have made bad decisions but was it my fault? Is nothing a coincidence? No such thing as a test? God justified rape of children 👶? 6:24 pmpdt Bcz I did not think things through like an evil 🦹‍♀️ wicked genius, not premeditated, I always thought if something bad really happened that I would have been caught already & confronted. In the United States 🇺🇸 you have the right to face your accusers. This is probably what they called checks & balances. Without them, anything goes. Separation of duties & powers. But I guess that ain’t what’s happened. I guess what we got ain’t enough. 6:29 pmpdt

6:31 pmpdt will always be world 🌎 w/o end. 2 faced? I need to look 👀 up 🆙 this definition again. 6:32 t

nick carter is a king 🤴? W/ incubus friends & a lot of money 💰 & power? 6:33 pmpdt

7:47 pmpdt

YouTube.com/

watch?v=yzijB7pEzzl

&list=PLKIAQn1vdOt-8DxCHXEfO8RKm7jXsc8Sp&index=9

I hope I typed/wrote it correctly.

i or L don’t know found it in playlists of maroon 5 YouTube. V tour/Asia

7:52 pmpdt I didn’t watch the whole thing this time so I don’t remember the rest of it. 7:53 pmpdt

for some reason I thought 💭 2 girls for every (brain acid & heat burning 🔥 pain $) beach 🏖 boys but it’s good vibrations I guess. 8:06 pmpdt they planned to hurt me for that even though it’s obvious by now w/ Kanye west marrying Doppelgänger of Kim kardashian. I guess people are ok 👌 w/ this. I’m not entitled to complain. I’m easily replaced. That’s the way incubus likes it. Sorry Beyoncé 🎶🎼🎵🎤🎧 8:09 pmpdt

8:12 pmpdt I’m replaced I am replaceable (headache 8:12 pmpdt) I am disposable I am trash 🗑 incubus told me so several times I am replaceable I am replaceable I am not valuable I am not valued yoga 🧘🏻‍♀️ instructor 👩‍🏫? Alana zabel said ice 🧊 out & trashed 🗑 thrown away. No more love. Cold cold heart you’re so cold if love should ever end I promise you I will never breathe again Toni Braxton 🎼🎵🎼🎵🎼🎵🎼🎵🎧 8:16 pmpdt I almost threw up again coughing from being burned 🔥 is this black lung 🫁? I m a non smoker all my life. Relatives had asthma & I got sick from second hand smoke 💨 in daycare during elementary school 🏫 years. 8:19 pmpdt

incuvus talks about love what’s the word unconditional? But men are allowed to have conditions but women are not. If love 💕 ends so easy Bcz p*nis don’t go up, can you say you ever loved at all? Maybe never loved. Doesn’t want to. That’s what song wanna love somebody is about. Something about if I fall for you I will never recover. Sounds like excuse to push women away from serious commitment. Which is why he touches many different women in all his music videos. He likes being a player playboy. 8:26 pmpdt

8:30 🕣 pmpdt love 💕 is artificial for incubus with his incubus Merlin 🧙‍♂️ love 💕 potions 🧪. 8:31 pmpdt

This will never 👎 end & incubus will always justify child 🧒 rape. 8:32 pmpdt

If you like the way he runs things, including child rape crimes, then he’s your god. Not my god she’s threatening to cut off my legs 🦵 he made me look 👀 absurd body = absurd. 8:34 pmpdt

not she. He’s threatening to cut off my legs 🦵. 7:35 pmpdt

I did NOT rape anyone. 8:36 pmpdt

8:38 pmpdt incubus stabbed my left eye 👁. Made me cry loudly. I don’t have a p*nis & I have only touched man genitalia = p*nis with my hands 🙌 & mouth 👄. 8:40 pmpdt I wrote several posts ago. 8:40 pmpdt can I use that word to mean grown man p*nis? Bcz that’s what I meant. 8:42 pmpdt I don’t believe I will be saved. I don’t believe I will have a he happy life/ending. I did not type “a he”. 8:43 pmpdt they’re all liars! He likes to work smart not hard. 36,000 people died in an earthquake. I don’t believe anyone anymore 😭😖😭😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😭😤🥵 8:45 pmpdt

9 pmpdt & my naked vag only touched man. 9:01 pmpdt

9:12 pmpdt stay the f away from me, incubus u & your miñions. 9:13 pmpdt tbh if I was Maluma’s age & we’re both single I would rather try him. 💃🏻🌹9:15 pmpdt

[extravaguk]

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

wordcount: 15k

genre: summer!au, ex high school classmaters, kinda frenemies to lovers, tattoo artist!&piercing artist!jungkook, popular!reader

rated: m (fluff - smut - angst)

warnings: you broke jungkook's heart you bitch!! , oral sex (m&f), protected sex (shocking tbh), CL as your bestie it doesnt get better than that! idk i dont wanna spoil too much

author's note: fucking finally dude!! i've been writing this since february but school was kicking my ass. now that i finished my exams and mercury is in gemini i was able to finish it. if you read this, i hope you enjoy it!

Inkphoria

You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping the flyer too tightly, rumpling the paper in your hand until you're pretty much sure it's ruined. It's the first day of June, and it's already too hot. The sun and humid weather are causing beads of sweat to form in your hairline and your white tank top to stick to your skin. Your jean shorts didn't feel this uncomfortable a few hours ago and you're sure the heat is causing your mascara to transfer to your eyelids and lower lashline. You've never needed a slushie and a smoke this bad in forever, even if you knew the later would make your parents lose their shit.

Inkphoria

You read it again. Your brain is trying to guess what font its written in, an excuse to try to steady your heart beat until your nerves ease a little and you can finally gather the courage to step into the damn shop. You've noticed a few people passing by giving you strange looks because maybe it hasn't been fifteen minutes. Perhaps you've been unmoving like an idiot in the middle of the street for longer than you want to admit.

Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.

'Its not that much of a big deal. It's not even that painful, trust me.'

You wish you could trust your best friend, but your best friend is also the same woman who assured you Cats was the movie of the year. Yes, not 'Cats: The Musical'. 'Cats', the movie.

'And this could be a great start to get out of your comfort zone and start living your life exactly the way you want to, not the way people expect you to. Not the way your family wants you to, not the way Adam wanted you to.'

But although her credibility could sometimes be questionable - like that time she also told you she'd tried marmite and 'honestly, it's not as bad as people make it out to be'-, you also didn't trust anybody in this world as much as you trusted her. She had always been your entire support system, the only one around you who never sugarcoated, who always treated you as an equal, who was always there for you to help you discover yourself and, at the same time, remind you of who you were.

'And it's gonna look so hot, too.'

That's it. Sticking the wrinkled flyer on your back pocket, your feet finally start moving. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing open the door.

The first thing you notice is that, thankfully, the shop is empty. The second thing you notice is the bright sky blue walls, a green undertone peaking through. Your eyes scan nervously the interior. Frames with tattoo designs and people modeling other different designs decorate the walls, some skateboards also hanging from the ceiling. A few plants in the corner, and two leather couches on either side of the room. Your scanning stops on the counter, where a girl with short, platinium hair and -what you guess is- the eighty percent of her body inked. Face included. She's been looking at you, a smirk tugging at her lips. Her tone is amused when she speaks

"Hi." she says. "You can come closer, you know? We don't bite."

Great. As if you couldn't feel more out of place, apparently you also couldn't look more out of place.

"Sorry." you gulp as you walk forward. "It's my first time doing anything like this."

She laughs this time, but it's not mean. It's not mocking, thank God, and the smile she sends you is as warm as the weather, friendly, luckily helping you calm down a bit. "A virgin, huh? JK's gonna love this." your eyes jump in surprise, but she's fast to wave her hands in front of you. "Just a joke. So, first time getting a tattoo. You have something in mind, honey?"

"Um, no. Not a tattoo. Not yet, I think." you wet your lips, regretting not reaplying chapstick before stepping inside. "A piercing."

"Oh! Cool!" she claps her hands, too excited for your own taste, pulling from under the counter a catalogue. "So, where will it be? Cartilogue? Nose? A lot of people are getting their septums pierced right now, though, so you might-"

"Nipples. Like, one of them."

Her gaze finds yours in surprise, although her face swiftly transforms again into an amiable expression. "Now, that's badass. Alright!" she skims through the pages of the catalogue until she finds the nipple piercing collection. You scratch your head before wiping your forehead sweat-free. "You can pick either barbells or hoops, although barbells heal faster and they don't move around as much. There's different kinds of metal, too. Gold or platinium. If your skin is sensitive, I recommend titanium. It's hypoallergenic and not as problematic."

The blonde keeps talking as you nod your head, a smile making its way into your face while silently thanking her for her easygoing personality. It quickly makes you feel comfortable and stupid for being so terrified of doing this.

Once you decide, settle on the cost and sign the papers, she stands up from the stool she'd been sitting on. "Ok, I'll go tell my coworker. He's been sketching tattoos all morning, it's time he gets to work!" she laughs, but suddenly your smile banishes and your throat shuts down.

"He?" your alarmed tone halts her motions and she looks back at your frightened expression.

He? A he is going to pierce your nipple? You're about to let a random stranger, a HE, see and touch one of your boobs and then pierce a needle through one of your nipples?

"Oh, baby, don't worry. I'd do it myself if I knew how to, but I only do tattoos. Most of our staff are on summer vacation so it's mostly just him and I. If you don't feel comfortable, which is totally understandable, you can wait until september when Minzy comes back and she can do it for you." It's her turn to scratch the back of her head as she adds: "but trust me, we're professionals. He's not a creep or anything like that. He's been doing this for a long time. He won't cross any boundaries."

September? You won't even be here in september. Fuck.

Sure, you could do it when you move back into the city. But this summer was supossed to be the summer. You already decided after your breakup with Adam that there would be no trace of the old you. That it was time to push yourself, to do the things that you've always wanted to do, unapologetically. To find the new you, the real you. To stop being scared.

So after going through you options for a few seconds and taking a deep breath, you make up your mind.

"It's fine. I can do it."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"JK, sweetheart!"

Jungkook is finishing drawing a Chinese dragon when Mijoo opens the door without knocking. Again. He puts the pen down, rubbing his eyes. It's monday, a slow monday, not much work, and he had hoped it would stay that way until closing time. It's summer and Jungkook hates summer. He hates the heat, he hates being drenched in sweat, and he hates the fact that he can do nothing about it. Because working in the summer is terrible. Summer makes him lazy, makes him want to bathe in a tub full of iced water and not get out until he turns into a raisin and october comes. It makes him irritable. Summer makes him annoyed by people -like Mijoo, even if he loves her to death- and himself.

"I got a girl here who wants a nipple piercing, her first piercing by the way, so get your shit ready and bla bla bla. Straight titanium barbell. Also, don't flirt and don't be creepy. She almost ran away when I told her a male was going to be touching and piercing her tit, be mindful of that. She's too cute, if you want to get her number you should wait until it's done. I think that's it. I'll bring her in in a minute."

Mijoo leaves as fast as she talks, but Jungkook is already used to it. He's already used to the headaches her mouth causes too. He sighs before standing up, tying his too-long raven hair into the best bun he can manage. He washes his hands, sets the table up, sits on the chair and puts the gloves on. He's too busy sterilizing the jewerly when Mijoo comes back with you.

"Alright, my babies. I'll leave you to it." she turns to you. "He'll explain everything, from how the process will be to how to take care of it after it's done." she leaves before saying bye, closing the door behind her, and then he finally turns to you.

Your eyes meet and suddenly everything stops. He almost drops the sterilizing machine, his whole body tensing, going into panic mode as he recognizes you immediatly. His hands shake.

Of course he does. Of course he recognizes his high school crush. The too goody two shoes, too pretentious and too rich, too good for everybody and, most importantly, 'too good for Jeon Jungkook' girl of his high school dreams. Of course he recognizes the girl he had confessed his stupid crush to when he was sixteen. Of course he recognizes the girl who rejected and broke his young and foolish heart when he was a dumb teenager.

It doesn't matter that six years have passed ever since. He still knows every lock of your hair like the palm of his hand. He still remembers the shape of your lips and the exact shade of your eyes. He can still identify the body he fantasized about -and jacked off to- when he was a hormonal teen, now filled in all the right places. Now a grown woman.

Just one look at you after years and years of pining is enough to almost make him faint. And grow a boner under his jeans.

And by the look on your face, your eyes wide and your mouth agape, you recognize him as well.

Dammit.

He schools his features and clears his throat. Forces his body to relax and compose himself, because he's not a teenager anymore. He's also a grown man, who has matured, who now has much more experience with women than he did back then. He had already embarrased himself enough when he was sixteen to be doing it all over again. You're just another attractive girl in a sea of attractive women.

He turns to you. You still haven't said anything. Neither has he.

"Um, you can sit on the table." he manages, motioning to the set up in front of him. He watches you taking doubtful steps until you're sitting down, your eyes avoiding his gaze. He almost forgot you were here to get pierced. Holy shit, you were here to get pierced. To get your nipple pierced.

You're a professional, Jungkook. You can do this, Jungkook. You've seen boobs before, Jungkook. You've pierced nipples before, Jungkook.

Clearing his throat again and forcing his hands to stay by his side, he speaks. "The... The top." your gaze finds his, like a puppy about to get scolded. You look at your top, realization dawning on you. "You don't have to take it off. You can just pull it down."

So you do, pulling the straps of the white tank top down and dragging the fabric down with trembling fingers. No bra. Jungkook gulps as your breasts comes into vision. As perfect as he had imagined years ago. His cock twitches. Round, full, perky and so damn inviting he has to hold himself back from latching onto one nipple with his mouth around it and swirling his tongue over the nub until you're a pretty, moaning, little mess on his piercing tabl-

He closes his eyes for just a second before reminding himself to act like the 23 year old Jungkook he's tried so hard to become. The confident, assured Jungkook he is.

"Okay, this is how it'll go. First I'll clean it and scrub it to get rid of any bacteria." he's so glad he hasn't stuttered yet. 23 year old Jungkook doesn't stutter like 17 year old Jungkook. He's also glad he can pick the alcohol bottle and the surgical scrub without trembling. When he faces you again, you're watching his motions with your lip caught between your teeth. That has him swallowing the lump in his throat.

Making eye contact with him again, you take a deep breath and offer a small nod, so he gets to work. He can show you and himself he's a grown man. A grown man who can pierce a nipple without appearing like it's the first time he's seen a boob in his life. The sooner he does it, the sooner it's over.

Jungkook wets the paper towel with alcohol before carefully wiping over your nub with it. Your back arches, probably from the cold feeling, he guesses. He rubs it a few times before throwing it in the trash can nearby. He avoids looking at how enticing the soft peak is salluting him when he reaches for the marker. He doesn't say anything when he dots it with it, jaw clenched and his dick painfully stiff.

"Lay back." his voice low as he commands, turning away to get the clamp. When he slides closer, he tries to ignore the view: you, with your hair sprawled and your sweaty, shiny skin and your eyes focused on the cieling, nipple fully erect, like the star of one of his most erotic dreams. He extends his free gloved hand before he can stop himself, fingers carefully working the nub until he's sure it's painfully hard. Almost as hard as he is.

You gasp, your back arching again. He stills and looks at you, your cheeks flushed pink. Probably from the heat, he guesses again. Or at least that's what he tells himself. He can't stop himself from wondering how responsive would you be in a different setting, most likely his bed while his teeth play with your breast and his cock dives into-

"You okay?" he studies your face, your eyes not meeting his and instead still focusing on the white ceiling.

"Mhm." you reply with a small voice.

"Relax, alright? It'll be over soon." his voice is as gentle as he can, his fingers mindlessly caressing your breast to try to soothe your nerves. Or maybe it's just because he's a selfish bastard. Whatever it is, he forces himself to bring the clamp to your nipple, securing it around it.

"Take a few deep breaths. This will only take a second of pain and then it will go away." He misses the way your mouth falls open, but he doesn't miss the way your eyes squeeze tight as the needle goes in.

"Ah!" he definitely doesn't miss that either. He goes rigid for a second, because that didn't fucking sound like a cry of painfulness. It's breathy, and whiny, not too loud and, for fucks sake, if that's how you sound when you're getting fucked, he swears to God-

He feels your heartbeat under his hands when he puts the barbell in and then the bandage over it. He takes a look at you, chest moving up and down. And then you take a look at him and what he sees is almost enough to take you right there.

Reddened cheeks, drops of sweat framing your face and those eyes glazed with something he's seen too much in the women he's fucked throughout his life. They're half lidded, mascara adorning your long lashes and almost smudged, looking right through him.

"Jungkook..." and your voice, as you say his name -acknowledging him for the first time since you stepped into his shop, for the first time since you were sixteen-, it's hoarse, almost inaudible, like you just came all over his-

He's on his feet in an instant like he's been burned. "It may bleed for the first week, and it can be really sore. The swelling will eventually come down." he's quickly tidying up the table, a bottle in his hand that he hands to you without looking directly. "Wash it gently with this soap and warm water once per day. Don't touch it. Wear a comfortable...bra. If it gets crusty, clean it with saline. Not alcohol or any other thing you might clean a wound with. The soap I just gave you or saline. Nothing else."

He's pacing around the room as he takes his gloves off and throws them in the trash bin, too agressively maybe, then he keeps rambling, like he's hurriedly trying to make you leave as soon as possible. "Avoid pools and the sea. It takes about six months to a year to heal, so don't... don't touch it, don't play with it or..." he clears his throat, "don't let anyone else play with it. And if it gets infected, come back immediately and I'll take a look at it." which he honestly hopes it won't happen. When he faces you, your top is back on and you're getting off the table.

"Alright, um...I'll do that." clearing your throat, your hand gripping the doorknob. "Thank you."

But right before you can exit the room, Jungkook says your name.

"_____." when you turn around to face him, it takes a few seconds for him to make eye contact from across the room. "It was good to see you."

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"Let me see!"

It's the first thing Chaelin says when she opens the door to her appartment. It's on the second floor, small enough to compare it to most expensive appartments you'd stayed in throughout your life, but big enough for Chaelin, her cat and her -impressive- collection of acrylic nail kits and pairs of high heels. It's also big enough for her to offer you the only guest room until summer is over so you didn't have to, one, stay at your parents' place, and two, find an appartment in a short period of time for a short period of time.

When you left years ago, you did so with the thought of 'never looking back'. You never really expected to return here, of all places. Maybe visit your best friend for a weekend at most, have dinner with your parents on a saturday and then go back to the new life you'd made for yourself on a sunday.

But that was before you'd caught Adam cheating.

Tale as old as time: childhood sweethearts get engaged, move in together, son of a bitch sleeps with the assistand he told his girlfriend not to worry about, and then the brokenhearted girl packs her bags and leaves the cheating bastard begging for her to come back.

You'd be lying if you said you were surprised.

Throughout your life, you'd learned to expect many things, regardless of being sheltered and babied by your family since you were born. Watched too much Maury and Dr.Phil. Too much Gossip Girl to know what the deal with life really is.

So, thankfully, you'd only shed a few tears, mostly because your ego and self steem were slightly triggered. You'd realize long before that your feelings for Adam started to disappear once he popped the question and you said yes. Your love story began as teenagers but soon after graduating, the two of you went on different paths: you'd matured, grown into your twenties while he got stuck at 17 and never stopped acting as such.

So yeah, whatever, break ups are hard. But they're not as hard when the love is gone and the sole reason to stay with your partner is to please your parents. You were also right when you expected your mom to tell you to 'forgive and forget' because 'those things just happen, it's not a big deal, honey'.

But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

The lanky nerd with braces, glasses and an anime obsession much bigger than his hentai obsession, which is saying a lot. The shy, awkward classmate who'd stuttered his undying crush for you when you were just kids. That one who you had rudely rejected like the bitch you used to be in high school.

But my God, Jeon Jungkook was anything but a kid now.

You were shocked. You were gagged. Couldn't seem to fathom what was happening and what your eyes were seeing. It took you a while to close your mouth when you realized JK was Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

With messy black hair, a smoldering gaze free of glasses, piercings adorning both ears, and his right eyebrow,, the braces long gone showing perfectly straight - but still bunny like- teeth. The clothes he wore were loose, all black, but it was impossible not to notice the muscles of his back and arms, covered with tattoos from his hands to his forearms. You'd bet there were more of them underneath the fabric.

It was awkward at first. You didn't know what to do, or what to say. Didn't know if he rememberd you. So you chose to stay quiet while your body chose to react like it had never been in the presence of an attractive young man in it's entire life.

And oh, did it react.

He was reluctant, his old timid demeanor peeking through his newly adopted persona. But as soon as those hands came in contact with your skin, your whole body was lit on fire. Like you were 16 and losing your virginity over again and it was the first time a dude touched your boobs.

There shouldn't have been anything erotic about it -besides the fact that your entire breasts were exposed-, it should've been just a professional procedure. But those gloved fingers touched and pinched and suddenly you were too aware of Jeon Jungkook and the way you were starting to sweat profously, not due to the heat of the season.

You tried to distract yourself by looking at the cieling and not at his gorgeous face. Tried to avoid thinking about Jeon Jungkook and how his mouth would feel wrapped around you. Tried not to think about the way your panties were a second skin to your folds, and how tempted you were to grind your hips until you recieved some sort of friction with the jean fabric of your shorts. You wonder if he noticed you squeezing your thighs together. You hope not.

And then the needle happened. You never thought of yourself as a particularly kinky person. Sex with Adam was boring for the most part and you'd lost your libido for a long time. Stopped thinking about sex altogether. But the pain. The pain mixed with his hand rubbing soothing circles on your breast and his voice, as sweet as honey, guiding you through it. It made you reconsider a lot of things you'd once dismissed as 'weird' or 'deviant'

You swear you almost came right on his table.

And then your eyes connected, you made the mistake of calling his name like a satisfied woman who still needed more, and it was all gone. He stood up like a scared cat, gave you a bunch of explanations about the aftercare that you barely grasped without even looking at you and pretty much rushed you to leave.

So you walked, all the way from the tattoo parlor to Chaelin's appartment, mortified, and completely humilliated.

"Are you gonna let me see or not?" your friend says expectantly as you finally sit down after chugging a glass of iced water. You sigh, placing the glass on the table before carefully pulling down your top. "Oh my God, it looks so cool!" she gasps and you can't help a smile while she studies it in amazement. "Did it hurt?"

"Um, I guess." you keep out the part where you almost orgasmed, obviously, stopping her hand from touching when she reaches towards you. "Wait, no. He said something about not touching it for like six months or a year, I don't remember."

At that, Chaelin's eyebrows quirk up. "He? It was a he? Was he cute, at least?"

"You won't believe this..." looking away for a few seconds, you take a deep breath. "It was Jeon Jungkook."

There's a pause, a silence that fills the room when Chaelin's jaw drops. "Jeon Jungkook...pierced your nipple?"

You close your eyes, bracing yourself for what you're a hundred percent sure is coming.

"Ha..." there it is. "Ha ha..." you still know there's more. "Ha ha ha..."

Chaelin laughs hysterically for about God knows how long, while you keep drinking your glass of water unfaced, your mind drifting back to Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie, his tattoos and his stupid gloved hands.

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You know he's here.

Everything was cool, you were doing alright, having a great time with your vodka sprite in hand and your cute white bikini on. Chaelin was by your side, the guys were excited to have you back and thankfully, you'd avoided most questions about Adam and they'd avoided digging too deep into the topic. You'd sunbathed the whole afternoon, kept away from the water like he'd told you and ate the Hawaiian pizza Yoongi insisted on ordering despite Namjoon's and Jimin's complaints.

It's at night, when you're a little tipsy and your cheeks are flushed, that you feel it. You'd barely noticed Taehyung disappearing to let in a new guest.

You don't see him, but you feel him.

You're sitting on the pool tile steps, legs dangling and the water baely reaching your belly to make sure it doesn't touch your very sensitive and newly pierced nipple. Your back is facing the sliding glass doors of Hoseok's house, but the moment you hear his voice, smooth but animated as he converses with Taehyung, your body wakes up immediately, back straightening, goosebumps forming on your arms and nipples tightening against the fabric of your two piece.

You don't turn around, instead opting for downing the remaining of your drink and coming to the realization that, of course, Taehyung, social butterfly who'd always got along with everybody and remained friends with most people from high school, still keeps in touch with Jungkook.

You ignore him when he enters the pool, still peering from the corner of your eyes while pretending to be engaged in Chaelin's and Jihyo's conversation. Your mind sabotages you by taking you to that day a week ago at the tattoo parlor.

To the warmth of his hand, to the few strands of hair that his small ponytail couldn't keep together, to the way his eyes focused on such an intimate part of your body, to the endless ink decorating his skin, to-

Great. Now your bottoms are wet and not due to the water.

You don't miss Chaelin supressing a laugh and her not so subtle elbowing. You glance at her in warning and try to keep calm for the next fifteen minutes until Jin proposes moving to the living room to watch a movie.

"I'm gonna stay here for a little longer, guys." you say, after clearing your throat. You needed some time to gather yourself before being in a confined space with Jungkook.

"Are you sure?" Jin stops by your side to place a hand on your shoulder as everybody starts exiting the pool. "It's Mean Girls! You love Mean Girls! You never miss a minute of Mean Girls!"

Rolling your eyes, you wave him dismissively. "I know every dialogue on Mean Girls like the back of my hand, I think I'll be alright, Jin."

When everybody finally leaves, you take a deep breath, covering your face with your hands in an attempt to get him out of your head. Damn Jeon Jungkook and his irresisitble glow up.

"You okay?"

The unexpected voice startles you, a gasp finding its way out of your mouth and causing you to jump on your seat, heartbeat erratic as you instantly recognize who it belongs to. Your hand grasps your chest as if that would do anything to protect yourself against him.

"Shit, don't do that!" you say, the words almost getting stuck in your throat as you see him approaching you, still submerged in the pool. The more he nears you, the less water depth there is and the more visible his torso comes into view. Wich was exactly what you'd been avoiding.

Because Jeon Jungkook was ripped, as you'd imagined when you first encountered him.

Broad shoulders and strong biceps and chiseled abs and veiny forearms. Drenched hair, a full sleeve of tattoos and water dripping from delicious tan skin and all just so very hard. That paired up with a loopsided smile that does nothing but make you shudder.

"Sorry." he doesn't sound apologetic at all when he says that, the smirk adorning his features telling. "You just seemed a little off." you advert your gaze when he pushes his hair back.

"I'm fine, just...just wanted to be by myself."

"Oh" Jungkook's smile disappears. "I can leave, if you want me t-"

"No!" you're not sure where that comes from and neither does he, judging by the look on his face when your eyes find his. Eyebrows raised and mouth slightly parted, he's as surprised as you and there's an awkward silence for a few seconds. "Um, you don't have to. I mean, it's not my house, you can do whatever you want." you sniff and tame your voice, trying to seem cool and collected like you didn't just practically beg him not to go.

Ironic, considering this was exactly what you had been fearing for the past thirty minutes.

And then he smiles. A knowing smile. A smile that says 'you just totally checked me out and now you don't want me to leave'. A smile that you would have never associated with Jeon Jungkook of all people years ago. A smile that makes you want to look away but still keeps you in place.

"Sure." he says, closing the space between the two of you slowly but still leaving enough distance. "So, how's it going?"

You clear your throat, head high and determined not to let this man, or any man for that matter, turn you into a trembling mess. You're still you and you're not easily shaken by the opposite sex. Or at least that's what you helplessly chant in your head.

"Everything's cool. I'm on summer vacation now," a little white lie, "so I decided to-"

"The piercing." he says, the smile never leaving his face. "I meant how's the piercing."

"The pier- right." you almost miss the step he takes forward, all too aware of his height over yours but thankful for the centimeters that being propped on the stairs added to yours. "It's-" you almost, almost miss his knee touching your knee and him slightly separating your legs with his own inch by inch. Or how your thighs open unvoluntarely to welcome him in and how you can barely find coherent words to speak. "It's doing-" or the way his smile disappears and is instead focusing his dark stare fully onto yours.

"It's doing well." you finally say in a whisper, not being able to bring yourself to be louder.

He hums. "May I see it?" Jungkook wets his lips with the tip of his tongue and the action and his voice is enough to make you nod your head, bewitched.

His movements are unhurried, his hand coming up to tentatively come in contact with the flesh of your clavicle. His fingers skim through your skin upwards, his touch is feather-like when it wraps around your throat. You pant, and he stops but he doesn't move away, his eyes still focused on yours, studying you, daring you to pull back, to tell him to back off. But just a simple touch of his and you're fully under his control. It reminds you too much of the day you got that damn piercing.

Your lips are parted and for a moment he stays just like that. His body so close to yours but not close enough, and his hand slightly gripping your neck. Your pussy clenches around nothing and you can't wrap your head around the fact that something so simple sets your entire being alive and leaves you aching.

Then, as slow as he started, his hand travels from the front of your neck to the back, pushing your hair aside to carefully untie the straps of your bikini. He breathes through his nostrils, doesn't make a sound. He seems so collected it's starting to annoy you.

Instead, your breathing is ragged when the top falls down, exposing both your breasts to him. That's when he removes his eyes from yours and his jaw clenches. Your nipples perk up under his gaze, like they remember him and the effect he had on them just a week ago. You're at least glad you're not the only one affected but he seems to be a master at keeping it under wraps.

Then, his hand moves again, leaving goosebumps on your skin as it goes south. Jungkook takes his time, so deliberate you want to scream, until he's cupping your pierced breast, keeping away from the nipple just like he'd advised you a few days prior. You can't look away from his face, from his eyes observing you like you're a full course meal and he's been starving for days. You feel drops of water falling from his hair to your thighs, his thumb caressing your skin so delicately as it faintly nears your still tender nipple. Just nearing it, never touching it.

"Beautiful." his murmur is almost imperceptible and for a moment you think you've imagined it. Your back arches on its own, breast pushed against the palm of his hand, almost like your body is begging him to come closer, to touch you more, to feel you all over. He meets your eyes briefly, gauging your reaction, before going back to your chest. Suddenly, the grip on your breast tightens, fingers ever so softly squeezing your flesh. From your throat comes a mewl, your eyes shut and your legs close around his waist.

"Jungkook, please..." you whisper when you open your eyes. He looks at you, unvertainty written all over his face, lips bruised as if he had been biting on them too hard, gaze as glassy as yours. And just like that, the spell is broken. He blinks and his expression changes completely. Lips forming a straight line and jaw tight. His hand retracts, fixing your bikini top over your breasts before tying it around your neck like it originally was. Meanwhile your eyebrows crunch in confusion. But when you're about to start asking questions, he clears his throat.

"It's healing okay." he steps back, avoiding your eyes. "I'll see you inside."

Jungkook leaves the pool like nothing happened.

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Jungkook is fiddling, fixing the position of his glasses and combing through his straight hair with shaky hands, habits he's tried so hard to get rid of in his sixteen years of existence but still finds impossible to.

He can't help it. He's always been like this: the quiet and awkward kid in class who sits in the back, a misunderstood puppy in a sea of stronger dog breeds that could eat him alive. An outcast. Too geeky for his own good. Notebokes full of Dragon Ball doodles on the margins of the pages, the shelves in his room stacked with Marvel figurines, and a closet filled with outdated clothes that he has been inheriting from his older brother.

He has never been the type to stand out, always being overlooked by people like he's invisible. He doesn't mind though. He'd much rather be ignored than getting picked on by bullies like he used to in elementary school.

He never gets invited to parties. Ever. He's a nobody who barely speaks, and when he does he either stutters or manages to embarrass himself in one way or another. He's seen the look on people's faces when they look at him. Their eyes seem to scream 'weirdo' everytime he gets acknowledged.

So obviously the only reason he was invited to this particular party had a first and last name: Kim Taehyung. The only kid in Jungkook's entire life who didn't look at him in a funny way, the only kid who took the time to entangle in a random conversation with him after class and who seemed geniune enough to make Jungkook feel comfortable.

He's not sure how it happened, since Taehyung mostly hangs out with the cool kids. But somehow it did, and now Jungkook is uncomfortably standing in a living room full of drunk teens, looking directly at you.

You, the one girl Jungkook had been pining on for God knows how long. You, who are obviously too pretty, too popular, and way out of his league. You, with your plaid skirt and your polo shirt and those legs that never seem to end. You, who are sitting with your friends in a couch, drink in hand and visibly tipsy. And yet, he doesn't think he's ever seen anyone pull of the 'drunk-rosy-cheek' look better than you.

He can hear your laugh through the music and he already thinks it sounds better than whoever is playing in the background.

"Come on, Gukkie! Her friends are leaving and she's all by herself now! It's your chance" Taehyung's obviously drunk too because it took Jungkook a while to decypher his exact words. He'd disappeared for a while and now that he's back, he's pushing Jungkook in your direction.

"This was a mistake, Taehyung." Jungkook shakes his hair and steps back, quickly glancing at the front door to prepare his escape. But his new friend's grip on his hoodie keeps him in place.

"Guk, listen. The only thing you have to do, is walk up to her, and say 'hey I think you're, like, really pretty. Just letting you know. Bye!' That's it. Jung- Dude, Guk, seriously, look at me." Taehyung grabs Jungkook's cheeks, squishing them between his hands and forceing him to face him. "You've been crushing hard on her for years, my man. We're graduating and you won't see each other again. What's the worst thing that can happen? Getting rejected?"

Jungkook's eyebrows draw together. "Um, yeah?"

"Exactly! Getting rejected is not the end of the world, bro! It just means keep trying on other girls!" Taehyung releases his hold on Jungkook's cheeks. "I just think you're going to regret not telling your crush she's your crush. Who knows? Maybe in the future you two will get married."

Jungkook snickers, muttering a 'yeah right' under his breath. Still, he can't help the smile that Taehyung's words always seem to pull out of him.

"Now," Taehyung playfully slaps Jungkook before turning him in your direction again. "Go get 'em, tiger!"

"Okay," Mijoo's voice slices through Jungkook's memories. She's sitting on Jungkook's desk, munching on her brownies and looking at her coworker expectantly. "And then what?"

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, sits back on his chair, already feeling the effects of Mijoo's baked goods. "And then I walked up to her, like a damn fool, stutter and all. And I say:" he clears his throat, making an effort to do his best teenage Gukkie impression."'Hey, _____, um, so, I think you're beautiful and I've had a crush on you since seventh grade, haha, just wanted to let you know.'"

Mijoo rolls her eyes, still chewing. "And then what?"

"And then she looked me up and down, giggled, fucking giggled, Mijoo, and said 'Who are you, again?'" Mijoo gasps and Jungkook closes his eyes, trying to force that recollecion out of his head.

"What a bitch." she can't help but laugh before apologizing. Jungkook merely shrugs his shoulders and takes another bite of his brownie. "She didn't say anything else?"

"She said something along the lines of:" he clears his throat again, this time, doing an impression of you. "'That's sweet and all but, you and I... we're not the same. And I have a boyfriend, so...' She said that like I didn't know, like I wasn't aware of the school's it couple! Like I was dumb!"

Mijoo nods. "And now you want to fuck her even more than you did in high school."

"I- No! Well, yes. Fuck, of course I want to sleep with her! But I just... can't."

"Why not?"

"Did you hear anything about what I just told you or were you too concentrated trying to get high?"

It's Mijoo's turn to roll her eyes. "I heard everything you just told me. I just don't understand what the problem is. You two were sixteen. Sure, she was a bitch about it, but Lord knows I've been a bitch my entire life and now I'm not anymore." Jungkook raises an eyebrow at that. "Okay, sometimes I can be nice. But the point is..." Mijoo finishes her piece of brownie before getting off of Jungkook's desk. "It's been, what? Nine? Ten years? People change, JK. You're the best example of that. You want to fuck her and she obviously wants to fuck you too. You're both adults." she wipes her hands on her shorts. "I think it's time you fulfill that high school fantasy of yours."

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You've made up your mind.

And by you, it means Chaelin has made up your mind.

It didn't take long to convince you though. That last interaction with Jungkook cause too many emotions stirring within you. It left you hot, it left you bothered, it left you confused. Sure, it also left you a little bit embarrassed like the first time, but above everything else, that interaction with Jungkook left you absolutely livid.

Because who the fuck did Jeon Jungkook, formerly known as Guk, Gukkie, Jungukkie, and currently known as JK, think he was to come near you, speed your heart rate's up, and then runaway like that?

You've spent days thinking about it. About that face, about that body, about those hands and- shit. You're doing it again.

You've spent days trying to push those intrusive thoughts. Spent days trying to bury what happened. You've spent days trying to keep quiet, not telling anyone about it and just wishing that stupid spark of desire simply went away.

But it has just been simply unavoidable. You haven't been able to ignore the sleepless nights with your brain drifting back to that night and forbidding your hand from slipping under your panties. Or the excessive amount of time during the day where images of him suddenly popped in your head and wouldn't go away, even with you squeezing your thighs to try to make the ache go away.

So you ended up ranting and ranting and ranting to the only person you could confide on, who is obviously your best friend. Your best friend, who's too smart for her own good and knows you too well for your liking. Because apparently your moodiness and snappy remarks couldn't go unnoticed.

And after explaining the fiasco over a bottle of wine -and minutes of endless laughing on Chaelin's part because, again, it's Gukkie you two were talking about and, according to her, this was "the most karmic thing I've ever seen"-, she gave you the best advice an older sister could ever give.

"Fuck him."

"I know right? Fuck him!"

"No. I mean, fuck him."

And now here you are. Right inside that room you stepped in weeks ago, confronting the man in question with the same confidence that has always distinguished you from others and trying to act like the fluttering inside your belly wasn't nauseauting.

"A date."

"Yes."

"You want to go on a date with me." this wouldn't be so hard if Jungkook didn't look so delectable in a plain white t-shirt and ripped jeans. You cross your arms over your chest, doing your best to not look down at the exposed skin of a man who obviously worked out a lot and apparently, never skipped leg day. "What's the catch?"

He's sitting on his chair, back resting comfortably and legs spread, narrowing his eyes at you and probably wondering why the girl at the front desk let you in without an appointment. Also, probably wondering if there was a catch to all of this.

"There's no catch. I just want to go to the fair this weekend. I'll ask Taehyung for your number and text you the date and the exact place we'll be meeting. Unless..." your quirk one of your eyebrows. "Unless you're already planning on how you'll chicken out this time."

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Of course, Jungkook says yes to going on a date with his high school crush but spends the following days overthinking every single thing.

He can't help but feel like it's kinda sketchy. What if you're planning your vendetta on him? What if you don't even show up and he ends up there looking like a damn idiot? What if you hate him and are just messing up with him? What if that incident in high school is going to repeat itself?

"If she doesn't show up, you simply move on and never speak to her again. It's that simple. She can't have that much power over you to cry about something like that." Mijoo had said that same day she let you in the tattoo parlor after you'd asked to see Jungkook. Jungkook's coworker hadn't even question you and just motioned you to Jungkook's room with a knowing smile on her face. Later that day, Jungkook had scolded her about it and she'd simply shrugged.

He considers cancelling, eyes reading the 'won't be able to make it, sorry (sad face emoji)' over and over again and fingers hovering over the send button so many times he's lost count. But then he remembers that comment of yours about him chickening out and Jungkook starts seeing red.

How couldn't you understand he's just terrified of you rejecting him one more time? Sure, Jungkook is now an adult who doesn't get butthurt over stuff like that. He's experienced too much after graduating from high school and he's a much stronger individual than his fragile self back was back then.

But something about you just makes him feel so... weak.

He still finds it impossible to concieve where he got the courage to approach you like that at Taehyung's pool, or how he brought himself to touch you for longer than a minute without coming in his pants. He'd enjoyed it too much. Allowing him to see you so exposed, just for him. He'd be so tempted to kiss you right there and then, to run his hands up and down your thighs and fully wrap your legs around him to let you known how much you'd affected him. Once you called his name, it was like he'd finally snapped out of it and backed away like he'd been burned by you. He spent the next twenty minutes trying to keep himself from pulling down his pants and jerking off in his friend's bathroom.

It's terrible. Because he feels like the teenager he used to be when you're around. Shy, insecure and overall a mess. You showing up in his life after so many years and now apparenly being interested in him seems like a dream that he's not sure he wants to keep being in or wake up from before it's too late and he falls back into that tumoltuous longing that will inevitably end up in heartbreak. His heartbreak.

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It's saturday night, he's standing by himself in the crowded fair at the spot. You're fifteen minutes late and he's already about to turn back and dip out. He feels too awkward and the nerves are eating him alive.

You're not going to show up. You're not going to show up and now he feels and looks even dumber than the time he told you he was crushing on you. You're not even going to show up and now he's going to come back home, get drunk by himself and curse your name for-

"Hey!" he turns around to the sound of your voice and sees you running towards him. "Sorry I'm late! I couldn't find my phone and spent like thirty minutes looking for it. Turns out, Sharon Stone, was taking a nap on top of it and I didn't even notice."

"Sharon Stone?"

"Chaelin's cat."

To be honest, he's too surprised to process your explanation right away. He might also be a little speechless because that sky blue sundress looks too good on your skin and your eyelashes are so long, framing your beautiful eyes, and your lips are all glossy and kisseable that it takes him a while to find his own voice.

He clears his throat. "It's alright." scratching the back of his head, he momentarely adverts his gaze from you in an attempt to not get distracted by how soft your hair looks and how much he wants to wrap it around his hands in a ponytail. "Um, where do you want to go first?"

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Almost an hour and a half later, when the sun has already disappeared and you're both surrounded by colorful lights, Jungkook decides to buy the both of you hot dogs and a drink and you both settle down on a bench.

You've been walking all over the fair, going from booth to booth, playing any game in sight Jungkook dared you to -he obviously had a competitive streak-: from the ballon and dart games, to the shooting games, to the bumping cars, to the ball-in-basket one. To say you were having fun was an understatement.

You'd almost regretted setting the date up. You were sure he wouldn't even show up and if he did, you were scared of how awkward things could get between the two of you. And if things were awkward, you were sure it would only take less than thirty minutes for the both of you to part ways and never talk again about such failure of a date.

To your surprise, none of that happened.

The conversation was flowing, both of you acting like you were strangers on their first date getting to know each other, which, to be fair, that's exactly what it felt like. There was a slight banter, teasing each other when one of you lost in whatever game you were playing while the other was obviously winning. There were laughs and a funny feeling in your tummy whenever you'd walk side by side and his arm brushed yours.

There was no stiffness on his shoulders, no mention of the past or your previous encounters, no acknowledgement of the blatant sexual tension you'd experienced before, not an ounce of avoidance whenever your eyes met his and he was even sure of himself enough to place a hand on your lower back or briefly interwine your fingers with his to guide you through the mass of people.

It felt like you'd both unspokenly agreed on making each other feel comfortable enough to have a good time.

"I didn't think you were going to show up, to be honest." you suddenly say, taking a sip of your strawberry juice and thankful to finally let your feet rest for a while.

Jungkook looks at you, hot dog mid air and eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline. "You didn't think I was going to show up? I didn't think you were going to show up." you simply shrug, lowering your gaze seepishly, the beginning of a smile on both your faces. He surprises you by tilting your head in his direction with his forefinger. You watch him watching you, a little dazed, a little lost in how his dark hair messily falls over his forehead and his equally dark eyes study your face, his thumb swiping over your lower lip. "You um... There was ketchup right there." he lies.

"Oh" you say, feeling your face heating up. "Thanks. Red doesn't really match this dress." you manage a smile and tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear.

At that, he eyes your dress for a moment, mouth slightly ajar. He's debating on whether or not to say something but you beat him to it.

"I'm sorry, by the way."

"For being late? I already told you it's fin-"

"No." you shake your head. "For... that time when we were young and I was such a concieted brat." you say, looking away , trying to find anything else that's not his pretty face. "I thought I was a queen bee back then. I was annoying and rude, specially to you. I..." you lick your lips. The cherry glittery gloss was already gone. "I thought it was cute, what you said. There was no reason for me to act like that. I know this doesn't make anything right but..." when you turn to face him again, there's still the same expression on his face. "I'm sorry."

A few seconds go by before it's him who's shaking his head. "It's okay. It was a long time ago, anyway." he smiles at you, although it doesn't reach his eyes and seems sorta forced. You sigh, and he takes your hand. "Let's go to the ferris wheel."

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tell you're tense. You're sitting right beside him in the ferris cabin, your back is all straight, you're facing forward and he believes you haven't blinked for what feels like an eternity. He thinks it has everything to do with your conversation a few minutes ago. You were probably not content with his response but what could Jungkook do? There was really no point in apologizing for something that happened years ago, but at the same time, he didn't want to hold anything against you like a resentful asshole because it was really not who he was. But there was still a little bit of stingyness inside of him and he didn't know how to make it go away.

At the end of the day, here you were, on a date with him that you'd asked for, getting along and asking questions about him and laughing at his jokes and trying to start all over again.

But then the ferris wheel starts moving, and he finally understands why you look so uncomfortable.

It's the way you immediately grip his forearm, nails digging in his skin and he swears he hears the smallest gasp forcing itself out your throat.

"Are you... scared?" he tentatively asks.

You say nothing for a while, not moving an inch. He would laugh if you didn't look so pained about it.

"I don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters." you finally say through gritted teeth.

"It's not really that small and ferris wheels are not rollercoasters. " your nails dig deeper and he winces. "Okay, okay. You don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters, and that includes ferris wheels. So why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I've never liked ferris wheels but you seemed excited about it, so..."

There's a silence after that in the environment, neither of you exactly sure of what to say or how to act. Until Jungkook moves one of his hands hands until it's resting on the one who's holding onto him for dear life, fingers caressing yours. The warmth of his hand spreads through yours and although it's almost July and you can already feel your sweaty back staining your dress, it's oddly comforting. What's more comforting even, is him twisting his body towards you and talking with the calmest and most soothing tone you've ever heard.

"Look at me." you do instantly, unwillingly, and kinda wish you hadn't. It's almost as if your body will do anything he says without question. Like he has some sort of power over it to just react however he wants. His eyes bore into yours and suddenly the cab doesn't seem so suffocating. "It's just you and me right now. We're not even on a ferris wheel." the corners of his mouth turn slowly upwards. You zone out the environment, suddenly too aware of him and how close he is and how loud the beating of your heart is to your own ears.

"Jungkook."

You swallow the knot in the back of your throat when he removes his hand from yours. It almost makes you protest, - now realizing you've losened the tight grip on his arm- , before it craddles your face, keeping you in place while bringing his body closer.

"You have to stop saying my name like that."

With his thigh touching your thigh, your whole demeanor melts. When he leans closer, and you feel his breath fanning over your lips, your eyes shut closed.

"Tell me I can-" he starts to say.

"Yes." you finish for him. He doesn't doubt on closing the distance between you two. His lips touch yours and your body shakes in excitement. It's just him lightly skimming your lips with his but it's already too much and at the same time, not enough. It has you deepening it, yourself moving closer when he kisses you again. It has you relaxing against him, the tenseness prior disappearing and making you arch your back when his tongue asks for permission.

But it's exactly then, the moment you open your lips to him, that has you losing your mind.

The sparks fly, traveling from your head to your toes and then settling on the pit of your stomach as soon as the kiss starts to turn desperate and rough. When he nibbles your lips with his teeth, it makes you mewl and whine and your nipples tight against the cotton of your dress. It makes the metal barbell to feel uncomfortable, slightly painful. And when he goes back to being messy and filthy with his tongue tangled with yours, your thighs close on their own.

He forces himself to pull his hand back and bring it down, finding the parting of yd opening them for him. "Wait," you say, your fingers wrapping around his forearm as you try to catch your breath."The ferris-" he shuts you up with another kiss.

"We're not on a ferris wheel." he reminds you, a soft whisper against your mouth. And for whatever reason, you believe him.

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"He fingered you on the ferris wheel."

"Yes."

"And you came before the ride was over."

You take a small sip of wine, your eyes focusing on the TV where a rerun of the Golden Girls is playing, although, to be fair, lately you haven't been able to pay much attention to anything else but a certain brunet with doe eyes and kisseable lips. "Yes."

She hums, stealing a handful of popcorn from the bowl between your thighs.

"How long did it took? Like five minutes?"

There's a pause in which you clench your jaw, your fingers twitching around the glass in your hand, and then you answer. "Probably less."

There's another pause, and then-

"Ha...Ha ha...Ha ha ha-"

You let her laugh. It's okay. You knew you had it coming.

Chaelin knows the pillow you throw right at her face is also something she had coming.

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It's not that you're mad.

Jungkook and you had a great time on that fair date, he made you laugh, bought hot dogs and drinks for the two of you and got you off inside the cab of a ferris wheel on record time with those magical, long fingers of his. Technically, there shouldn't be anything to be angry about.

Except it's been a week and you can't stop thinking about him, about wanting more, and about those words that he left you with after the ferris wheel ride ended, when you had tried to return the favor.

'Next time, maybe.'

And there hasn't been a next time.

The thought of texting him or giving him a call to ask for another date is persistent in your mind. It remains while you do the laundry or wash the dishes, while you shower, while you eat or while you spend your days at the beach with Chaelin. There's always the incessant desire to reach out towards your phone, unlock it and dial his number to beg for more.

But you'd never been one to beg, so you resist the urge everytime that feeling starts to creep up on you and it washes over you like a wave. You silence your phone and try to concentrate on making the most out of your summer.

It's one random night, when you're tiredly dragging your feet across Chaelin's apartment's carpet, yawning and ready to succumb to a well needed slumber, that you see your phone screen's lighting up with a message.

Your heart pathetically leaps inside your chest when you read his name.

'you free on saturday?'

You wish you could say you ghosted him, ignored his text and moved on with your life until it was him who begged you for another date. But the truth is you opened it in a matter of seconds and typed 'i'm free, why?' back in a rush with trembling fingers.

So now you're on the passanger seat of his car while he sits on the driver seat, the first saturday night of July, like he's Danny Zuko and you're Sandy Olsson, watching a vintage movie in a drive-in theater which plot you don't give a shit about, even if Jungkook's date plan idea made something inside of you churn with adoration.

And the only reason why you don't give a single damn about the movie playing in front of your eyes, is because you're hot. Way too hot. And the reason and cause is none other than the boy-now-turned-man sitting on your left.

You barely exchanged words when he picked you up, just rode in silence until you got to your destination and you bet he can feel as well as you do the tension in the air.

You've surveyed him a few times from the corner of his eye, noticing him fiddling with the rings around his fingers and shifting in his seat from time to time. And if the sight of his fingers bring memories that you've tried to bury to keep yourself from lunching towards him, a brief glance at his forearms, adorned with ink drawn through his golden flesh -doing a poor job at concieling the veins running underneath- and his skin-tight jeans wrapping those muscled thighs of his is enough to have you be the one squirming in your seat.

A woman can only endure so much, and you come to that realization thirty minutes into the movie.

"I want to suck your cock." you say, a stern expression on your face as you turn your body in his direction.

Jungkook frozes as your voice slides over him. It takes him a couple seconds to look at you, shock widening his eyes and parting his lips.

"Huh?" he manages, his grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white.

Without separating your gaze from his, you gather your hair and tie it in a ponytail with the hair tie previously around your wrist. You don't miss the quick glance he sneaks into the curvature of your neck and the valley between your breasts.

Inching forward, closing in on him, you place one of your hands on top of his thigh, the action making his whole body tense. "____..." he whispers your name in a warning that doesn't sound convincing even in his own ears.

You smile, your eyes never wavering from his as your hand inches upwards, slowly caressing over the fabric of his jeans until you finally come across what you were looking for.

His hand flies to your wrist, stilling your movements. "____, this is not-". He starts, but his voice gets stuck inside his throat when you palm his undoubtly growing erection.

"Shh." your shaky breath fans over his cheek and you force yourself on your knees on the passanger seat in a more comortable possition to stop the trembling to reach them.

You fumble with the belt holding his pants in place, then with the button and finally with the zipper. He helps you by lifting his hips to pull his jeans and boxers to his thighs and you have to bite back a mixture between a gasp and a moan at the sight below you. You haven't even seen Jeon Jungkook naked all the way, but the mere sight of his hard cock with pre-cum glistening on his crown is probably the sexiest thing you've ever had the pleasure of appreciating.

It gets sexier when you wrap your hand around the base and his body melts in the driver seat, throwing his head back with his eyes shut. It gets even sexier when you finally lower your head, swirling your tongue over the head before finally engulfing him fully in the wet warmth of your mouth.

"Shit." his voice is tight, uneven as his hand loosely grips your ponytail, as if careful not to accidentally hurt you and break the glorious moment.

Although you wouldn't mind at all. Because the moment your hands are on him, and your tongue is on his shaft, that's the only thing you care about. Your belly is twisting, an undeniable wet spot on your panties as the fabric sticks to your folds, and the more you suck Jungkook, the more you want from him. His earthy taste is addicting and the soft little whimpers he occasionally can't prevent himself from are making you want to milk him until he can't take it no more. There's this desire within you to whorship him and his cock like you had been dreaming for the past weeks.

"This is s-so fucking h-hot." he rasps between ragged breaths, the bobbing of your head, sliding up and down his dick as your hand works the centimeters your mouth can't take is about to make him faint.

"Getting a blowjob?" you joke, your throat starting to feel sore as you kiss his leaking tip.

"N-no." he draws in a rough breath when you take him all of him again. "You giving me a blowjob... T-the f-fact that anyone c-could see us..." he darts a quick glance at your body, your ass up in the air and your dress sliding down, almost exposing you completely. "The fact that-ah! Shit..." he squeezes his eyes when he feels a glob of your spit lubricating him.

There's a sudden need to make you feel the same, to touch your skin and have you shaking the same way you have him. So one of his hands travels from your spine, to your perked ass, finally dragging the cotton of your dress to allow himself to see your thin white panties. "The fact that anyone could see you l-like this," he murmurs, regaining a little bit of control when he squeezes one of your cheeks. "letting t-them see you s-sucking my cock and..." he smirks when he feels you gasping around him, his fingers trapped between your thighs and pushing them inside your heat easily "and letting them see me fingering this pretty little pussy."

Soon after that he's cumming in your mouth while you're cumming around his fingers.

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At first, it's mostly on weekends when you see each other. Weekends of stolen kisses and soft sighs and whispering against each other's lips. Then weekends turn to week days, sitting on grass while sipping on refreshing beverages, drawing each other laughs, elbows touching as you walk around the park side by side because the both of you are too scared to interwine your fingers together.

Jungkook feels content like this: sitting on the sand with you between his thighs, admiring the sunset while nuzzing your neck and inhaling your scent every now. He likes waching you enoying your strawberry ice cream, almost forgetting the chocolate chip one already melting in his hand.

"If you were an ice cream flavor,which one would you be?" you ask him, relaxing against his chest.

"Rocky road."

"Why?"

He shrugs behind you. "Everyone likes rocky road."

You hum, playfully rolling your eyes. "What about me? Which ice cream flavor would I be?"

"Lemon sherbet, in the summer."

"Lemon sherbet? Out of all of the flavours out there, you're rocky road and I'm lemon sherbet?"

"Lemon sherbet, in the summer." he corrects.

"Okay, fine. Why?"

"You're boring and basic."

You gasp, trying to feign outrage but not being able to repress the laugh that escapes your throat. You elbow him, his laugh mixing with yours while taking the time to wrap his arms around your form, the breeze blowing your hair allowing him a spot between your neck and your shoulder. "You're boring and basic, but once you have a taste..." he presses a small kiss on your skin, causing the tiny hairs on the nape of your neck to rise. "Once you have a taste, specially on the hottest day in the middle of summer, you can't stop tasting and licking until there's no more lemon sherbet left."

You suck in on a breath when he craddles your jaw to face him. "It's been my favourite flavor since I was a kid." he kisses you immediately after, his lips swallowing the small whimper now stuck in your throat.

You close your eyes as his tongue opens your mouth, arousal blasting your insides and something much, much deeper that you fear to even name shredding your chest.

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The beginning of august comes faster then you two realize, but what you both do realize is how hard it's becoming to stay away from each other.

It's been thirty days of dates happening almost everyday, sharing high school memories and anecdotes of the time you spent away from each other. Hours of getting to know each other and opening up to each other. From failed relationships to new friendships. Of park dates walking side by side and fingers now interwined because you both realized one day that, fuck it.

It's difficult to sleep when you realize you're starting to catch serious feelings for somebody who was just supposed to be a fling. It's hard to sleep when his face, his voice and his touch and thoughts of missing him when you don't see each other start haunting you at night.

It's hard for Jungkook to focus on work when you're everything that's occupying his mind. Because he has a hundred sketches to make but he's too busy thinking about the hundred different sketches he would make of you.

It's hard not to send him a goodnight text, just like it's hard for him not to reply in a matter of seconds, almost as if he was already waiting to recieve it.

Jungkook thinks of you at night. Of how pretty and absolutely perfect you are for him. Of the taste of your lips, the way your hair feels between his fingers, or the flush on your cheeks when he makes you cum as droplets of sweat accumulate between your breasts. He thinks about your voice. He also thinks about the amount of hours left to be able to listen to it again.

But mostly he thinks about how ridiculous this situation is. Because he was stupidly crushing on you when you were only teenagers, daydreaming about a chance with you. And now his crush is long gone and he's starting to realize that he's falling, and falling fast.

You, too, think of Jungkook at night. Of his ability to bring a smile out of you, to soothe you with just a few words and filling your belly excitement, happiness and feelings you're sure you've never felt before.

Jungkook's managed to imprint himself in your dreams, and you, in his.

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Getting drunk with Jungkook is fun and messy.

It's fun because he lets loose, he stutters a lot like he used to do when he was a teenager and he makes you laugh louder than ever before. It's messy because he has no control over his hands as they explore your body, clumsily taking your clothes off as his mouth laps at the breast he's allowed to touch.

He's more forceful and dominating too, pinning your hands above your head, and commanding you to keep them right there, on the pillows of his bed. When you rebel against it, your fingers finding the hard planes of his chest, he pulls away from you and places them back where he left them. "Don't make me tie you up." he threatens, and your body shudders beneath him.

He sucks, and bites and leaves marks all over your skin, grunting in response to your moans. Creating a path of kisses from your lips to your stomach, his shoulders separating your knees, opening you up only for him. And thankfully, when you reach down to tug at the strands of hair framing his face, he lets you, because he knows you need something to hold on to the moment his tongue eats you up. He leaves his fingertrips on your thighs as he keeps you in place, not allowing you to runaway. Just forcing you to take it as he takes from you.

And when you cum, he doesn't back away. He keeps sucking, and licking and punishing you with his mouth until you're cumming over and ove again, screaming and begging for his cock.

Having Jungkook over you, both completely naked, skin to skin and only sweat in between is more than you could've ever fantazised about. He slurls your name when he puts the condom on. He would do anything to feel you raw, but he also knows he wouldn't be able to last a minute. The sight of you spread open, with your cheeks darkened by a crimson blush and your hair tangled all over his pillow is a picture he wants to keep forever.

He enters you when you call his name, your voice dripping with need. He stretches your warm and wet felsh, slowly easing himself into you at first, until he's fully inside and your bodies are completely in union. A shiver runs down Jungkook's spine when he looks at your contorted face in pleasure, your lips forming an 'O' and your pussy clenching around him.

"Oh, my God." you moan into the dark of Jungkook's room, and even then, he can clearly appreciate every curve of your body lifting off the mattress to connect with his. He lowers himself on his elbows on either side of your head, caging you in and capturing your mouth with his.

"I know, baby." he murmurs. It's hot, in the middle of August but suddenly Jungkook doesn't hate summer as much as he used to. Not with you sharing the heat with him. "It's way beyond what I could ever imagine." You nod hurriedly against his lips, your arms finding their way around his neck as he starts rocking in and out of you.

"It's too good." you cry, when he hits a particular spot that has you rolling your eyes in bliss and gripping his waist tighter with your legs against you. Your fingers thread through his hair, not bothered by the beads of sweat gathered on the nape of his neck.

"Too good..." he agrees, not missing the shiver that's shaking your own frame when he picks up his speed. "You have no idea what I would do t-to fucking feel you with n-no barriers between us," his movements become frantic as his hips slap against yours, his jaw clenched as he keeps talking, "to s-stuff you full of my c-cum over and over again until it won't stop d-dripping."

Jungkook's voice against your ear has you trembling and your orgasm nearing closer, your nails scratching down his back as his thrusts overpower your form. "Would you like that?" he asks with his voice strangled.

"Y-yes. Anything y-you want."

"You'd take all of my cum like a good cum-slut?"

You hate the fact that that's what makes you come undone. The twisting and knotting in the pit of your stomach finally snapping until you're holding on to him like you never want to let him go and he's following soon after.

Because if Guk, Gukkie, Jengukkie was not only able to make you come in less than a few minutes with his fingers or his tongue, but he was also able to make you cum instantly just by calling you a good cum-slut, that means you're fucked. Like, really, really fucked.

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There's a knot in Jungkook's stomach and a suffocating grip around his vocal chords as he caresses your skin. The sun is rising in the distance with the first rays of light entering his room through the window. Your shamphoo is intoxicating him, numbing him and enticing him to bury his nose in the tangled curls pressing against his chest. Your arm is thrown across his stomach, your breathing leavig goosebumps all over his body.

"It's too early. Go back to sleep." you mumble against his heart. He wonders if you can feel it dangerously speeding up.

"I can't." he says, voice struggling to stay balanced. "I have to tell you something."

You hum in response, sleep still interwined with your body, your arm tightening around him. You sigh in content, expecting him to elaborate.

He wets his suddenly dry lips. "I don't want this to end. In fact, ____.... I want more. Need more."

"Jungkook..." your whole body goes rigid right away, untanglling your bodies from each other and sitting up on the mattress.

"No, listen to me." he mimicks your movements, rapidly grabbing your hands to make you look at him. His eyes are expressive, a mixture of fear and hope swirling in his dark irises. "I wake up everyday, and you're the first thing I think of. I go on about my day, and I keep thinking about you, wondering what you're doing and counting down the hours until I get to see you again. I spend every night dreaming about you, and when we'e together, the only thing I can think about is how I wish I could stop time so I don't have to say bye to you the next morning. ____, I-"

"Jungkook, stop please." you shake your head, pushing away from him and in desperate need of air. You press a hand against your chest, beating back the throb of pain while the other curls in a tight fist, the feeling of your fingernails digging into your palm less painful than the ache inside your heart. "This... This wasn't supossed to happen, Jungkook." you start pacing around the room, as if trying to find an exit while avoiding his gaze. "This was just a summer fling. That's all it was, I'm supposed to come back to the city in two weeks and-"

"A summer fling?" a sardonic sneer comes out of him. "Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening again..." he mumbles to himself before rising from the bed. You stop immediately, a shiver quaking through you as his impressive frame intimidates His eyebrows are drawn together and his dark eyes are void of any prior emotion. "You're going back to the city in two weeks? And you didn't care to tell me until now, after I just spilled my guts to you?"

You eyes fill up with uncomfortable tears, reaching one arm towards him. "Jung-"

He flinches, taking one step back. "A summer fling is all I mean to you?"

"Ju- "

"Look me in the eyes, right now, and tell me that's all I mean to you. A summer fling." panic crawls up your throat. There's the need within you to confirm, to stare into his beautiful and stern eyes and tell him that, yes, that's all he is to you. But you've never been a good liar. So nothing comes out. You opt for wrapping your ams around yourself wishing they were his and lowering your eyes to the ground. "I think... I think you should leave."

Those are the last words he says to you, and the last thing you see when you turn around one more time after gathering your clothes, is his back as he looks out the window.

You allow yourself to cry the exact moment you step into Chaelin's apartment. Your friend is sitting on the couch, bowl of cereal in hand and a fresh cup of coffee sitting on the livingroom's table.

"Hey, you're early tod- Baby, what's wrong?"

"Please, don't laugh."

That morning, you lay down for hours on the couch with your head on Chaelin's lap while she softly brushes your hair as you cry, hiccup, fight through the pain in your heart and relate to her as best as you can the latest events.

She doesn't laugh at all.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"She'll come back." Mijoo's slurred words do nothing to put Jungkook's state at ease that night. He simply shrugs, fingers clenching at his sides, frowing into his drink before gulping down the bitter taste of vodka in one shot. "Seriously, I think she's just afraid. My ex was the same."

"Comparing her to your ex is not the analogy you think it is."

"Ugh, shut up. Things didn't work with my ex because she was a bitch." Jungkook gives Mijoo a pointed look which she responds to by rolling her eyes and sipping on her rum coke. "Your girl is not a bitch. She used to be a bitch. What she did this morning was bitchy, but, like I said, she's just being a pussy. If she only wanted sex with you, she wouldn't have been doing couple stuff with you the entire summer."

"Whatever. I don't care." he lies and Mijoo knows he's lying but decides to drop the subject fo now.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"We can't keep spending our days smoking weed." Chaelin speaks over Blanche's voice on the TV.

"I know. I'm just sad."

"You have to come back and tell him how you feel."

"I know."

There's a beat of silence before your friend kicks your thigh with her feet.

"I know and I will." you mumble through red eyes and smoke clouds.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

It's September first and it doesn't feel like Jungkook's birthday at all. He's been trying to focus on his work, alternating between isolating in full hermit mode and hanging out with friends to drink away his sorrow. The days have gone by and before he could realize it, he woke up today with over twenty text messages wishing him a happy day and a throbbing hangover.

He dresses up on autopilot. First a cotton shirt, then a pair of jeans and lastly, his Nike's. He doesn't bother tying his sneakers just like he doesn't bother taking a shower. He smokes a cigarette for breakfast, the death stick making him feel nauseaus on an empty stomach. And then he goes to work.

He's been repeating the same routing for the past weeks and he's not thinking of changing it, not even on his bithday.

He spends hours drawing, tattooing and drawing some more between yawns. He ignores texts an phone calls and simply waits until the day is over to go home, go to bed and forget about the fact that you're probably on your way to the city and that he hasn't crossed your mind not even once.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Inkphoria.

You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping cup of ice cream as it melts down your fingers the more you wait. The shop is already empty and it's starting to darken out side, and still you're so hot. Your shorts are heavy and your tank top is sticking to your skin. You didn't even bother to put on any make, although your eyebags definitely needed some concieling and your lashes some dimension to hide the fact that you'd been crying for the last few days.

'You're crazy about him.'

Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.

You've lost count of how many times your best friend has given your advice, or simply encouraged you to do something you've been too scared to try.

'And he's cazy about you too.'

Chaelin might be wrong about marmite and the movie Cats, but she's definitely now wrong about anything regarding your and Jungkook.

That's it. You briefly close your eyes, inhale a deep breath then release it slowly. You start walking. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing the door open.

The tattoed blonde looks up from the counter the second you come into view. She smiles at the distance between you two. "You can come closer. I won't bite."

You clear your throat, stalking closer to her. "Is he-"

"He's in the back." she replies before you can finish you question. You close your mouth, clear your throat and nod your head.

"Thanks, Mijoo." she gives you a small wink, her smile easing your nerves like she had three months ago.

She watches you disappear. She shakes he head, her smile meeting her eyes. "I told him so."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Jungkook ignores the knock on his door at first. It's almost ten and the parlor is about to close. He just has to finish this last fucking sketch so he can grab his shit and go the fuck ho-

Knock knock.

He growls, exhasperation cursing through him. He runs a hand through his messy pile of hair, his rings tangling between the strands, making him wince in pain. "Come in." he grunts under his breath. The door opens. "Mijoo, I really have to finish-"

He stops dead in his tracks as soon as he sees you.

"Hey." you say after a moment of hesitation.

"Hey." he replies and although there's something inside, deep in his chest, shouting at him to stand up, run up to you and kiss your face while he tells you how beautiful you look right now and how happy he is to see that you're still here, he decides against it. "Listen, ____, I'm pretty busy-"

"No, you listen to me." you cut him off abruptly. He looks taken aback and is already opening his mouth to say something, but you're not having it. "Please, just... Let me talk."

Silence looms between the two of you for a while, a staring contest defying each other to back down. When you take one step inside and close the door behind you, he sighs and leans back against his chair.

You move towards him slowly, your lip caught between your lip going through your mind for the speech you'd been preparing the last few days. Your hands are sticky due to the the sugary treat liquifying in your hand. "I know there's no reason you should give me another chance after rejecting you in high school, and there's definitely no reason why you should forgive me for the way I shut you out a few weeks ago. You've been confessing your feelings to me since we were teenagers, and now it's my turn to tell you exactly how I feel about you."

"Jungkook, the truth is... I like you so much. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. Ever. I said this was just a summer fling, and I was lying. I was lying because there's no way a simple summer fling could make me feel the way you do. There's no way a simple summer fling could make me want not just summer with you, but also fall and winter, and spring and every summer that comes next."

You hadn't realize when your eyes filling up with tears until the sight of him starts blurrying in front of you. His fingers reach yours, his thumb comforting on your skin. "____, it's okay-"

"I'm not done yet." you sniffle, gathering enough courage to continue. "I brought you a lemon sherbet because you said it was your favourite. But you also implied I was your favourite, and I want to keep being you favourite, but now it's already melted and-"

The corners of Jungkook's lips start pulling upward as he tugs you towards him, his heart loudly jumping inside his chest. "Shhh, come here."

He takes the ice cream from your hand and places it on his desk. Then he's helping you onto his lap, your head tucked under his chin and your arms wapping on their own around his neck.

He doesn't care about your sticky fingers or the wet stains of your tears in his shirt. The only thing he cares about is the fact that you're right there, letting him engulf your frame and drown in the scent and warmth he'd misses so much.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

The first day of June has Jungkook sweating and wishing for a haircut. Jungkook usually hates summer. He hates the fact that he has to shower at least twice a day, and the fact that the heat is almost unbearable to sleep in and also the fact that he's easily sunburnt.

This year, however, Jungkook likes summer a little bit more.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you have an appointment?" it's the fact that you're starting to wear those summer dresses he loves so much, and the fact that your skin glows under the sun like glitter, and also the fact that he can lick ice cream off of it whenever he desires.

"I am the appointment." your giggle is almost childlike, playing with Jungkook's heart strings. You shut the door behind you, nearing him. You also seem to always have that flush on your cheeks. Although he likes to think part of it is due to him. He doesn't say anything else as he puts his pencil down and instead turns around in the chair to have you immediately on top of his thighs.

Yeah, he also likes the path your lips trace from his cheek, to his jaw, ending at the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. It still makes his body quaver to this day.

"Let me see." he murmurs against you forhear, his hand already working on unbottoning the front of your dress.

"Mijoo hasn't left yet." you whisper back, your smile impossible to supress and the faint whimper impossible to hide when his fingers expose your breast and tug at the titanium barbell adorning the already hardened nub.

Jungkook loves knowing he was the one to do that, and also the only one to play with it. He doesn't hesitate when he dips his head. "As if we'd ever cared about that." he adds, wrapping your sole point in his mouth.

He fucks you on his studio table with your legs around his waist and his tongue playing with both your breasts, the tattoo sketches long forgotten, scattered on the floor as he whispers against your flesh something that sounds a lot like 'I love you'.

[transias]

Hello!! I saw your taking requests and I was wondering if you could write a johnny x reader where the reader is related to kreese maybe he's their uncle or godfather anyways one day kreese has the reader there with him to show them off and johnny connect's dots that there related , Its okay if you dont wanna write it I love your writing btw💕

An Unexpected Surprise.

Pairings: Johnny Lawrence x Godchild Kreese!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of death

A/N: Thank you so much, y'all are so sweet oml! will always be more than happy to write for all of you, so don't even worry about it <3

〰️

My parents had died about two weeks ago. Everything happened so quickly, I barely had time to process it.

It wasn't like I could put my life on pause for a moment. If my parents were here I know they would probably say something like, "(Y/n), keep going. You got this, life goes on no matter what happens. What matters is that you're brave enough to fight back and continue."

And that's what I was planning to do.

"(Y/n)?" A voice called out, pulling me away from my thoughts.

I look up and smile softly, "Kreese, it's so nice to see you!"

"Hey kiddo." He greets, "I haven't seen you in forever, you've grown up so much!" Kreese ruffles my hair, "I'm so sorry about your parents, how are you feeling?"

I shrug, "I don't know. I'm still processing it but i'm fine, it'll all be okay. Right?"

He nods, a smile curling onto his lips, "It will. Now come on, we have a drive ahead of us." He places his hand on my back, guiding me out to the car.

Kreese and I talked about settling into California, what I liked to do, and his job as a Karate Sensei.

"You know, (y/n). We could use someone as strong and wise like you in Cobra kai." He says.

I furrow my eyebrows, "You really think so?"

Kreese nods, "Yes. My students are all brawn but no brain, well maybe except one of them." He chuckles, "He's my best student, I think you'll get along with him."

I think about it for a moment. Me? Karate? A minute of silence goes by before I sigh, "Alright, i'll join you."

Kreese smiles widely before ruffling my hair, "'Attakid."

〰️

The next morning we went out for breakfast, got enrolled at a nearby school, bought a couple of things I needed, and basically helping me settle into California.

It was not a little late in the afternoon and I sigh, looking out the window. "How would you describe the kids here?"

Kreese looks up from the television then back to me, "Annoying."

I scoff a little, "Well that's helpful."

"I don't know, (y/n). I'm old! It's not like I can roll up to the skate park and just say, "how do you do, fellow kids?"" Kreese replies.

I chuckle and shake my head, "Fair enough. Plus you're a Sensei so i'm sure being in charge of a bunch of kids and teenagers isn't so much fun."

He nods before looking at the time, "You know what? There's this place that all my students go to hang out in. Golf n' Stuff, I think it's called? Anyways, why don't you go over there and try and get acquainted with some of the kids?"

"Yeah! That'd be awesome!" I stand up, grabbing my jacket and a bit of money I had saved up.

"You need me to give you a ride there?" Kreese asks. I shake my head, "I'll take my bike so I can also try and get familiar with the streets." I smile at him.

"Alright, just make sure to be back home by 10:30!" He added. I nod, "Got it, see ya!"

〰️

I lock down my bicycle at the racks, taking a deep breath before walking into the place.

Loud noises from chattering and machines filled my ear, I was somewhat regretting this already but screw it, I had nothing to lose.

Grabbing some tokens for a few of the arcade machines, I step up to the Donkey Kong machine. I quickly start tapping on the controls and avoiding the barrels he'd throw at my character.

"Shit!" I mumble, losing the game. I turn around and see a boy with blonde hair, staring at me along with two of his friends.

I furrow my eyebrows before making my way off to another game, I can still feel their eyes staring at me and before I knew it, the blonde boy was next to me, a smirk on his lips.

"Hey i've never seen you around here before, are you new?" He asks, leaning on the wall. I nod, "Yeah, I just moved here yesterday to live with my Godfather." I reply, "The name's (y/n) (y/l/n). Nice to meet you...?"

"Oh, i'm Johnny Lawrence!" He replies, "(Y/n), that's a lovely name for a lovely person like you."

I chuckle and I can feel my cheeks warm up, "Is that something you say to all of the people you flirt with?"

Johnny shakes his head, "Nope, only with majestic people such as yourself."

"You flatter me, Lawrence."

"Well, I assume you're here alone. Would you like to hang out with me?" He offers. I nod, "Yes, please! That would be lovely."

The entire night is incredible, Johnny and I played on the arcade games, mini golf, and he even tried winning me a stuffed animal from the crane machine but unfortunately fails.

"Let me try!" I step up onto the machine.

"I don't know, babe. It's a little difficult."

I aim for a giraffe stuffed animal and successfully winning the animal, I lean down to reach for my prize and look over at Johnny who looks amazed.

"Here, a little prize as a thank you for being so kind to me, tonight." I hand it over to him.

He chuckles softly and shakes his head, "You're incredible."

I look over at the time and it's 10:21, my eyes widen and I quickly walk outside with Johnny.

I begin to unlock my bike, "I'm so sorry! I have to be home in nine minutes! But thank you for tonight, it was so lovely."

"Wait!" Johnny exclaims, placing a kiss on my cheek, "I hope to see you again, (y/n)."

There goes that not so familiar yet wonderful feeling fluttering in my stomach. "See you around, Lawrence!" I wave goodbye at him, quickly biking back home and making it a minute before my curfew.

〰️

Monday rolls around and so does school and my first lesson at Cobra Kai.

I'm grabbing my books out of the locker when all of a sudden I feel a pair of hands on my shoulder, "Nice to see you again, stranger." A familiar voice rings.

I turn around and see a smiley Johnny, "Johnny, hey! I didn't know you also went here." I smile at him.

"It's a small world, isn't it?" He raises his eyebrow, "So, I realized that I never got your number! This weekend was a little torturing since you were on my mind the entire time but I couldn't call and hear you sweet voice."

I chuckle, "Smooth, Lawrence. And fine, you can have my number." I pull out a piece of paper and write my number on it, handing it to him.

The bell rings and soon everyone is leaving, "I'll call you, see you later!" He waves, I wave goodbye before trying to find my first class.

〰️

Later on, I grab my bike and make my way to Cobra Kai earlier than most of the students.

I push the door and see Kreese, practicing a few moves before I clear my throat and catch his attention. "(Y/n), welcome to Cobra Kai! I have something for you."

I remove my shoes before walking onto the mat and closer to him, he pulls out something white and I gently take it from his hands, "This is my uniform, right?" I ask. "It's called a Gi. You will wear this during class so make sure you always bring it, got it?" He crosses his arms.

I nod, "Yes!"

"Yes what?"

"Sir?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"It's Sensei, not sir, not Kreese. Sensei."

"Yes Sensei!"

I change into the Gi and walk outside to see a group of teenagers gathered around the mat.

A familiar face catches my attention and I wave over at him, "Johnny, hey!" I smile.

He excuses himself from his friends and walks over to me, "Hey! What are you doing here?" He asks.

"Oh, my Godfather asked me to join Cobra Kai. I'm not looking forward to getting my ass kicked though." I chuckle.

Johnny nods, "Don't worry, i'll help you out."

"Lawrence! I see you've met my Godchild." Kreese exclaims, walking over to us.

Johnny furrows his eyebrows before finally realizing, "Oh- yes, Sensei, I did!"

A nervous look forms on Johnny's face and Kreese walks closer to us, "Everything okay?"

Johnny gulps, "Yeah! This is just an unexpected surprise. That's it."

"Everyone! This is my Godchild, (y/n). They will start training with us and I expect you to treat them as one of your own. Is that clear?" Kreese announces.

"Yes Sensei!" The class replies.

〰️

"So, that was quite unexpected." I hear Johnny state.

I nod, "Yeah, i'm guessing you're that 'best student' he mentioned to me."

"Oh jeez, this complicates things a little. Do you think Sensei will kill me if I ask you out on a date?"

I pause and look over at him, "You were gonna ask me out?"

Johnny nods, "I'm still planning on it." He smirks and walks closer to me, "I think you're worth the risk."