#and sisi being a bad grandmother

[archduchessofnowhere]

I'm back from my vacations! As I mentioned, during my time away home I read the memoirs of the English governess of Archduchess Elisabeth Marie aka "Erzsi", the only child of Crown Prince Rudolf and his wife Princess Stephanie of Belgium. The memoirs itself are a bit dull at times and honestly I wouldn't recommend them unless you really want to learn more about the young Archduchess specifically, since they don't even go that much into the life at the Austrian court. Still, I did find some interesting anecdotes that I thought you might also find interesting. I decided to start with the one thing that stressed the governess the most: Erzsi couldn't spell in English at all.

From the memoirs:

On the 19th I received the following postcard, dated from Munich:

" I am vel, it es beutiful, mach perfier dan en Wienna. Wienna es in comparesor hored. —ELISABETH."

Erzsi to her governess circa 1897:

The governess was very angry that Erzsi wrote like that since she had had another English governess for four years before her arrival "and yet she could write and spell no better than a child of six, and she was fourteen". The governess lamented "Poor little neglected thing!".

She also provided us with other letters to illustrate Erzsi's particular spelling. I'll share these two that the Archduchess wrote while her governess was in England visiting her family, (spoiler: Empress Elisabeth mention!)

Karersee Hotel, Tirol, July 25th, 1897.

Dearest M.,

I rit to tell you the good nious that my dear ant Isabell has a little boyi. I am so happe I kant tell you how. You know how we spok tugeter over it and we hopt alwes it will be a sonne and now it is. Her it is after Laseenburg Abbazia and Miramar the nicest place I know I kenn onley tell you I loev it. All ar plest with it. I am kwid brown and it (manger) how I navee did it and slep evrey day as long as I wisch. It is rally a splandit life. The heles ar loevley the wetter alwis sins we ar her kit beautiful and in the day verry warm, wit evning and morning kul. The rums ar smol beut verry nice and cosey — the iting verry good. Sins to days there is not wone (1) nuage sur le ciele. Splendid. There was wone after non un arage with grèle it was aful on the hils all was whit. When chell I goet a letter from my god old Pig ? . . . I hop soon. We ar all verry well. Madame is making verry lairge pramenads and is so well that I kant belev it, I fink sch is better than in Laxenburg. I know nafing from ouer dear Roza I hop sche es well. I fink sche is so sad sche kant rit.

I rod you a enof log letter. I hop! . . . I wisch to becom wone how is as long as that won.

I embrasse You My Dear Good Masie of all my hart and hope you lik swed home.

Your loeving

Erzsi.

There ar mamy nice Engitsch her and 2 aful wons gust lik Missis W . I hat t rit that nam. Say my loeve ta mother and Lilly. The Imperatrisse af Autriche is komming here to Karersee.

The Governess actually felt the need (and was right) to provide a translation from Erzsish to English:

Karersee, July 25th, 1897.

Dearest M., I write to tell you the good news that my dear Aunt Isabelle has a little boy. I am so happy I can't tell you how. You know how we spoke together over it and we hoped always it would be a son, and now it is. Here it is, after Laxenburg, Abbazia and Miramar, the nicest place I know. I can only tell you I love it. All are pleased with it. I am quite brown and eat — as I never did, and sleep every day as long as I wish. It is really a splendid life. The hills are lovely, the weather since we are here quite beautiful, and in the day very warm with evening and morning cool. The rooms are small, but very nice and cosy. The eating very good. Since two days there is not one cloud in the sky. Splendid. There was one afternoon a thunderstorm with hail. It was awful. On the hills all was white. When shall I get a letter from my good old Pig? I hope soon. We are all very well.

Madame is taking very long walks, and is so well that I cannot believe it. I think she is better than in Laxenburg. I know nothing from our dear Rosa. I hope she is well. I think she is so sad she cannot write. I have written you a long enough letter, I hope. I wish to receive one from you, as long as this. I embrace you, my dear, good M., of all my heart, and hope you like sweet home.

Your loving

Erzsi.

There are many nice English here and some awful ones, just like Mrs. W . I hate to write that name. Give my love to your mother and Lilly [the Governess' sister]. The Empress of Austria is coming here to Karersee.

Sadly for Erzsi her summer vacations at Karersee aka Carezza came to a sudden end because Empress Elisabeth basically kicked her out (this one is mainly in French, translation below):

Karersee Hotel,

Tirol,

August Third, 1897.

My dear M.,

Tenk you very much for yor god letters. I meest tell you a very sad neuse (nouvelle). Nous partons le 5 dici pour Trafoi. Nous sommes touse desolee surtou pour la resons qui nous chasse dici. Je ne tous dit pas plus ceulment que sa Majestat le 'Imperatrise viens ici ! Je suis sur que vous comprenez et que vous aurez la grande bonte de ne pas en parlez. N'est ce-pas ces terrible ? Nous allons le 6 a Meran, la nous retrouvons Maman et nous partons de la a Trafoi. C'est 8 heures en voitur de Meran. Je vous pries de penser un peu a nous ! Vous esperons de retournez I'annee prochaine ici dans ce chere chere Karersee. Le temps est superbes, croit warm. Nous jouons au Tennis and we, make large work. I rit in frensch becouse it gose cwiker.

I embresse You.

Your loeving

Erzsi.

Translation provided by the governess:

My dear M.,

Thank you very much for your good letters. I must tell you some very sad news. We must leave here on the 5th for Trafoi. We are all desolated, above all because of reason which drives us from here. I cannot tell you more, except that Her Majesty, the Empress, comes here. I am sure that you understand, and that you will have the great kindness not to mention it. Isn't it terrible ? We go the 6th to Meran. There we shall find Mama, and from there we go to Trafoi. It is eight hours by carriage from Meran ! I beg you will think a little of us. We hope to return here next year, to this dear, dear Karersee. The weather is superb, nearly warm. We play tennis and take long walks. I write in French because it goes quicker.

I embrace you.

Your loving

Erzsi.

Why did the Empress made her granddaughter and her retinue leave? The very few times Elisabeth is brought up in the memoirs, the governess always remarks on how cold and distant she was towards Erzsi, and she attributes this basically to her dislike towards Crown Princess Stephanie being extended to Erzsi. The Archduchess, in turn, was afraid of her grandmother. I will write on this in more detail later, but this could really be the only reason for the Empress to not want her granddaughter around. However, the governess notes that the reason may be other, and here is where I raise my eyebrow and ask are you sure about this one? Long story short: there was a woman that claimed to be Elisabeth's illegitimate daughter for years. Many of Sisi's biographers don't even mention her because that's how little credibility her claims have. This woman, Countess Zanardi Landi, wrote a book about her life and provided stories about meeting her alleged mother and her relatives. Going back to the governess, she double crossed the dates of Erzsi's letters and one of the Countess alleged meetings with the Empress, and apparently the dates match. I haven't double checked this myself, so I can't say if it's true. Personally I don't buy it lol. It is either a total coincidence, or someone is lying.

As for Erzsi's spelling, it got a bit better later on, but she did continued writing in English with a mix of German and French spelling. As someone whose first language is spelled "as it sounds", I can understand Erzsi looking at English spelling and going "this makes absolutely no sense I'll write however I like". If you read until here, thank you for sticking around! I don't know how many people will actually find the info about an Archduchess from the late 19th century spelling interesting or useful, but I thought it was a fun anecdote and also, one that 90% of books would skip.

[airmidtheawakened]

The Collector, Part 3

And now, Darlings, the next installment of our woes with the Collector: After conferring with the rest of my cabal, we set out to talk to Isaac’s little brother, Chris. Aces let us borrow her car. Getting to Chris's place wasn't an issue, since Pinstripes had gotten the address for us. Actually getting him to talk was a little more difficult. He was kinda the black sheep of the family, and hadn't actually spoken with his brother or late grandmother in years. When we got to his house - an older building in a not-so-nice area of town - a woman who I can only assume was his girlfriend answered the door. Saki and I were the ones talking. SiSi and Lipsy were staying in the car. We explained that we were friends of Isaac's and needed to speak with Chris right away. The woman said Chris wasn't home, so we pressed a little bit and got her to agree to give him a message for us. Figuring that was the best we could do, we started to leave. That's when we heard someone exit through a door on the side street next to the house and start booking it away from us. Saki and I gave chase. It didn't take us long to catch up, but before we could grab him ourselves Lipsy pulled the car around the corner and sped in to block the exit to the side street. Chris almost ran into the car. He was totally spooked. He tried to draw a gun on us, even! Thankfully some smoothing talking from Saki and myself got him to calm down enough to talk. He already knew his brother was dead, having seen it on the news, and wasn't too happy that we came around to rub salt in the wound. He wanted proof that we knew Isaac. SiSi got out the car and gave him a verbal what-for when he asked. She told him all about her basic training days with Isaac, which shut Chris up right quick. Of course he wanted to know why we were there, so we explained (as best we could without mentioning magic) what Pinstripes wanted and why he'd shot up our house. Chris didn't seem to really buy it, but we managed to get him to agree to hand over the watch to the Collector. On the condition that we'd get revenge for Isaac at some point. Which was fine. That's what we'd decided to do ourselves anyway. 

We gave him the watch and said our goodbyes for the day. We had lots of other business to attend to. Like going to the police. We were listed as "missing" on the morning news, and trying to avoid law enforcement was going to do us no good. We agreed to leave Saki with Aces (he didn't want to go anywhere near the cops with his expired visa) and came up with a story that we thought would hold up pretty well. It was mostly true: SiSi was on a date with Isaac, Lipsy was working late and came home in the middle of the attack, and they fled because SiSi was distraught and needed time to calm down. We'd say I was out partying and Saki was out of town. When we got to the police station they interviewed us all separately. The detective who talked to us was kind of a douche. You'd think that he'd show some sympathy to some young kids who just lost a friend and got their home shot up, but nope. Now that I think about it it's probably because he knew we were lying to him about some things. Our neighbors had seen me running away from the house so my story was blown right away. At least I managed to convince him I lied because I was worried about my dad getting upset with me if he found out what happened, so it wasn't all bad. I think the others managed to stick to their stories. When things started to falter for Lipsy he was smart enough to ask for a lawyer. Which he did by calling Mercy and requesting her help. Which means, of course, that the lawyer she sent was a total phony and probably hadn't set foot in a courtroom for any reason other than being accused. But he had credentials, so the police couldn't do anything about it when he came to pick us up. Let me paint you an image of this guy: Tall, ripped, wore an eye patch, and spoke with the thickest cockney accent one could imagine. I cannot begin to describe how entertaining it was watching him tear into those poor police officers. Nothing I could say would do it justice. We were with the police for a couple hours, but there was still a lot of time between then and when I had to see my dad. We went back to our house to pick up some clothes and other necessities (we couldn't stay there while it was still a crime scene), and drove back to Aces' to update her and Saki on the situation. The five of us just chilled for a bit, gave SiSi some time to herself to keep processing everything that'd happened, and waited for the time I'd agreed to meet my dad. We talked about what I'd tell him - what was okay to tell him - and how best to convince him to let me stay with my cabal. In the end I decided that convincing him I was with good people was the best way to do it. He already sort of knew Lipsy (We'd video-called him a couple a times for advice on how to fix up an old motorcycle Lipsy bought), and I was certain once he met SiSi and learned she was ex military that he'd been confident in my safety. My dad was staying in a hotel in Boston. By the time we got there he'd already arrived and gotten settled in. He wasn't exactly happy when I showed up with my cabal. He thought we'd have a conversation between just us. But I told him that they were pretty much family to me and I didn't care if they heard what he had to say to me. I told him that they were the ones I'd been abducted with, that together we were trying to piece together what happened to us and why we'd been taken. Of course my dad was skeptical. He asked what we'd found out. I looked around at my cabal before I told him. They all nodded at me, to say it was okay. I explained that it was because whatever the group was thought that we were trash. They took Saki because he was gay, Lipsy because he was deaf, and me because I was a slut. I said I still couldn't remember what happened to me specifically, but Saki did and he'd been tortured. To my dad's credit, he stayed pretty calm during it all. He wasn't okay with anything I said - far from it - but I'd expected a little more of an emotional response to hearing his baby girl had probably been beaten near to death for liking to have sex. It was... weird. And then he said if he'd pushed me towards more "conventional" interests then maybe none of it would have happened. That hurt. I know my dad doesn't like that I sleep around, but blaming himself for my perceived weaknesses of character wasn't far. Especially when the whole reason I am the way I am is to piss off my mom. And besides, it was the fault of the people who took me! There was no blame to throw around except at them. It was clear that we weren't going to come to any sort of agreement on me staying in Quincy, but at least Dad wasn't going to force me to leave. I promised to spend the afternoon with him the next day so we could have some time just for us. I know it wasn't fair to sic my entire cabal on him like that (even if it was necessary), so I wanted to make it up to him. That, for the most part, ended our evening. With the exception of one thing. As we left the hotel, Lipsy happened to catch the attention of an absolutely beautiful chocolate lab. The dog trotted right up to him and started nuzzling and licking his hand. The dog didn't have a collar or anything. We were a little suspicious, so I gave it a once-over with my spirit sight turned on, and sure enough the dog was a spirit. A pretty powerful one too. So I knelt down and bowed my head to acknowledge it's rank, and told my cabal we wanted to be friends with this one. And then the dog-shaped spirit told me I had nice tits. I could tell we were going to get along swimmingly. Turns out Mr. Chocolate Lab's real name was Ceras, and he was the same type of spirit as Edgar. Edgar had called in a few favors to get Ceras to watch over Lipsy. Edgar wasn't sure how long it would take for him to rebuild his physical form and he wanted to make sure Lipsy had someone looking out for him. Edgar can be a real sweetie sometimes. That said, Ceras seemed more interested in ogling me than babysitting. Which was weird at first because you know, he was a dog, but then he changed his form into a suuuuuper attractive young man and well... things were less weird. For me, anyway. I don't think Lipsy appreciated it much. But a girl has needs, you know? And if there's a nice looking, sentient being willing to help me with those needs... well I'm not going to say no, now am I? And before you ask: Yes, spirits are perfectly capable of doing the nasty. Assuming their of a high enough level of power and sentience to take on a physical body. So that totally happened once we got home that night. Score one for Airmid! And that, I think, is a good place to stop. We had our final confrontation with the Collector the next day, and I think it deserves its own special recording. Until then, my darlings, stay safe!