#and since i'm more aware of it i think it's a combination of last ep + tlovm airing

[utilitycaster]

I like that the Raven Queen, who made the decision to take on an immense and (at least to her understanding at the time) unending responsibility is the one who calls Bells Hells out on their endless indecision.

It's been...interesting, shall we say, tracking this "party of NPCs," and tracking the fandom response throughout. The initial reception to "party of NPCs" was actually a rather cold one. This took place early in the campaign, prior to the Gnarlrock fight, and at the time a lot of people who shipped Imogen and Laudna were actually extremely resistant to the idea that Imogen was the "main character" of the campaign (as seen in the fallout from the gnarlrock fight, in which the bulk of attacks from the fandom were on Imogen). I've had complicated feelings on Taliesin's reads of this campaign specifically - he tends to have a very good understanding of his own characters that doesn't necessarily expand beyond them - but that phrase was indeed pretty valid. I think about the WBN interludes, in fact, in which the cast plays using NPC statblocks, and what a true party of NPCs for Bells Hells would look like, since it would be quite simple to draw up.

Allied NPCs in TTRPGs rarely act without guidance from the PCs. I've cast a critical eye in the past towards certain meta (particularly romantic in nature, regarding Yeza or Essek or Gilmore not making moves) for this reason, because while villains and antagonists move throughout the world generating obstacles, allies exist to be directed. They have their limits, of course; they have their own priorities and motivations and cannot be persuaded against their nature, but they can be guided at oblique angles from the GMs initial intent given enough work from the PCs. They're still people with thoughts and feelings and dreams, to an extent, but rarely do they make decisions that would conflict with those of the PCs.

That's the problem with a party of NPCs. NPCs take direction. They serve as support, but they're not in the driver's seat. And the Raven Queen has noticed.

The attitude within the fandom towards "Party of NPCs" became far more positive over time, and I wonder if it should have. People began to lean perhaps too heavily on how Bells Hells were people from nothing and nowhere, discarded. This is of course objectively false when comparing across parties (can we really say Imogen had a worse childhood than Vex? Chetney to Caleb? Even Ashton to Fjord?) but were it true, that in and of itself wouldn't be a problem. D&D backstories are often tear-stained and blood-soaked, full of unjust accusations, dead or neglectful parents, failure and regret. D&D is a game about coming from very little but a disproportionately good stat block for a commoner. It is unavoidably about amassing power. Starting off as a party of NPCs is fine. You should not still be a party of NPCs at the endgame.

I mentioned the gnarlrock, and I've mentioned an emphasis (or overemphasis) on this party's lack of agency and I think that remains the problem. Ludinus's villainy is rich, complex, and multifaceted, but a consistent element of it is his eternal false insistence that he - Martinet, founder and head of the Cerberus Assembly, Archmage - is just a little guy, chaff in the wind of the will of the gods, without free will of his own (he says, as he places his thread outside the reach of the Matron). That too is a theme in fandom discourse: free will and intent. Is Imogen justified in being angry at Laudna for breaking the rock if that wasn't Laudna's intent? (yes.) Is Orym on a quest of vengeance, with a death wish? (no, but if he were it wouldn't matter.) Was it wrong to pressure Fearne to take the shard instead of letting her make her own choices? (yes.)

Did any of you, perhaps in preschool or kindergarten, since that's about the age when this happens, have someone pull your hair and for adults to say "it's because they like you?" I find this is a good way to convey the importance, or unimportance, or intent. Because when your hair is being pulled, at least if that is the extent of the problem, it doesn't matter if it comes from the misguided affections of a four-year-old admirer who doesn't know how to use their words, or a six-year-old who just grabbed the most obvious material with which to test the limits of the safety scissors, or an eleven-year-old bully. Your hair is being pulled and you want it to stop. It doesn't matter if the person secretly likes you or if they want to hurt you; it matters that no matter the intent behind it, they are doing so. And if you reject the affections of your fellow preschool classmate because you think they might pull your hair, that's a fair consequence.

Bells Hells' indecision is some sort of cosmic hair pulling. They have reasons for faltering, and some of those reasons are understandable balking at an immense weight placed upon them and some of those reasons come from a deeply self-centered place in which their individual pain is used to blot out the suffering of countless others. But in the end, even that doesn't matter. Their histories don't matter. We don't need another series of introductions of where they come from and what they've done. We need people who can make decisions and who will act.

The Raven Queen seems to have been convinced they will. I'm not sure. But I think we are in agreement that inaction is, regardless of the intent behind it, no different than active harm. It would be irresponsible to continue to be a party of NPCs; if they truly are lost and forgotten fuck-ups, they have a responsibility (as the god of death once did) to abdicate and find a replacement.

[macgregorhoughton]

First off, thanks for sharing your headcanons, I love them! I'm really hoping theres gonna be ride references too, from the clips we're getting the puns at least. I'm gonna be watching the backgrounds for any sneaky references to the Society but I bet you're right, its going to be in there somewhere. I’m the same with the Native issue, I’m a bit worried how they’ll deal with it but hope they might have a bit of awareness and address how messed up some of the stereotypes the ride had were- cont

Response under the cut! (following asks copied there too for reference)

First of all before I respond to anything, you do not have to apologise. This is quite literally my dream way to spend my time- talking to someone about a thing I like at length. The fact that you checked all the posts I made and took time to respond to them with your thoughts means the world to me.

2- I’m also really hoping we get a lot for McGregor (wtf is with that alternate spelling Disney?? But I do want the other two to call him Mac, I’d love that), learning to relax and find his place. I LOVE that Lily gets to do physical comedy, you’re right female characters often only get to be funny so long as that means they can still be sexy while doing it. Lily looks like she just goes “nope” to that and dives headfirst into a bit of slapstick and I love her already- cont

3- I really like Dwayne, hes got a warmth to him that comes across in Frank, even if hes trying not to show it to the siblings at first. I really want proper sibling moments too and I love that little one we got in the clip. Like, “you don’t get to laugh at my sister, now excuse me while I go give her a hand while laughing at her”. Like thats a great example of having siblings, I’ll help you out, but I’m totally going to mock you while doing it, but no one else can. BTS have me hopeful too- cont

4- I love your idea for the coming out scene. I think they’d be walking a very fine line in order to get it right, but if they did it could be wonderful. I really really hope we get that scene, no skirting around it or making vague illusions, I want McGregor to say “I’m gay” outright. Like, we’ll all know he is even if they don’t let him say it but for once I want Disney to live up to what they promised and let an actual main character be actually gay.- cont

5- I love the connection with the lights for our trio in the posters, I didn't put that together. I really want them to be a proper Trio, I’m really hoping this is a success so we can get sequels. Even if they’re terrible I still want them to see these three together. FRANK IS HUGGING MCGREGOR, I’VE GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS ALREADY. I don’t really have many thoughts on our three villains, other than I'm getting evil musketeer, smug plantation owner & WWII in that order- cont

6- I LOVE THAT GIF SET OF THE PUNS SO MUCH!! McGregor’s little smile and his laugh, hes loving it, Frank is loving getting a reaction, Lily is going to eventually find it funny how unfunny they are. I can’t get over how much I love McGregor’s little face in this, I can’t want for this scene, I’m gonna join you in imploding. Also, in your protective brother gifset, is he wearing a little tartan/ plaid suit? Love it. And on that note, I adore Lily’s costumes- practical and realistic but flattering

7- ok so thats me taken up far too much of your ask box, I haven't even property looked at the press tour things yet, but I do have one more thing, I have a theory about how Jack ends up in the middle of Emily and Dwayne's kiss if you'd like to hear it. Thanks for kickstarting this fandom and the wonderful gif sets, we're so close now! - Skip

So on to my very long response!

I've watched SO much about the ride just so I'm prepared to catch any reference. They just released Behind the Attraction on Disney+ and ep 1 is about the Jungle Cruise ride (Dwayne Johnson is in it too!). He talks about how much he loved the ride as a kid and used to imagine himself as a skipper which is SO cute and I'm so happy his dreams came true (and I find it very relatable as someone who dreams about being a raptor handler at Universal).

I'm genuinely a lil mad that the spelling changed. Because if you google it really everyone thought it was McGregor, they must've at some point released something on the movie for the press with that spelling and then changed their mind. Now everyone has it wrong because I suspect these featurettes are also gonna be the DVD/Bluray extras so I'm confident this is the final spelling. However I will continue to live in denial until I see the other spelling ON SCREEN.

"I really like Dwayne, hes got a warmth to him that comes across in Frank, even if hes trying not to show it to the siblings at first." Yes! I love that every character is a trope that I ADORE. Frank is the cynic who thinks everyone just wants to cheat you anyway and miracles don't exist who eventually cracks and warms up to people and shows that there is a soft, warm person in there after all. Lily is wildly optimistic and aggressively individualistic, not trying to fit in or caring about what anyone thinks and will probably have a moment of losing that optimism and doubting herself after all. And McGregor is the person who appears to think he's better than everyone, who's pampered and refuses to sacrifice any of the luxuries he's used to until he reveals he's gay and you realise most of it was just a show to cover up how hurt he really is. Three PEAK character tropes we're working with here and COMBINED with a reluctant-allies to lovers and a siblings trope.

"Like, “you don’t get to laugh at my sister, now excuse me while I go give her a hand while laughing at her”. Like thats a great example of having siblings, I’ll help you out, but I’m totally going to mock you while doing it, but no one else can" I have a gifset for that queued already, I love that you also focused on that rightaway bc I really went "Siblings! peak sibling energy!!" and gifed it immediately.

Based on the reports (that I cannot stress enough I have no idea how accurate they are) he doesn't say "gay" but it's unambiguous what he's talking about. Let's hope that's true! I'm imaginging some sort of "relationships with men" or "no interest in women but rather men" or sth like that. I hadn't really considered that it might be ambiguous to someone who doesn't know he's supposed to be gay so that's a new fear unlocked lmao

I'm going to be so sad if we don't get sequels cause so many franchises with several movies don't have a core group of actors that are just friends and get along as well naturally as these three. Or if we get more movies and Jack isn't in them or sth like that. Like any future where these three aren't the leading trio in more movies is a nightmare.

"I'm getting evil musketeer, smug plantation owner & WWII in that order" this sent me I swear. I'm most interested in Edgar Ramirez bc I'm curious abt the whole "conquistador alive "today"" thing. also what's up with the snakes lmao.

McGregor laughing at Frank's puns alone could sustain me another year if I had to wait that long for the movie. Luckily I don't have to. It is so wholesome tho, like the fact that they're gonna get along and also get closer and McGregor won't end up sidelined for being a bitch until the last minute or sth is so wonderful.

And yes! It's tartan! We've seen p little of the beginning of the movie in London and since that's gonna be focused on just Lily and McGregor I'm so excited bc we got so little content so there's gonna be SO much in the movie to look forward to that I can barely even piece together!!! (All we know is lily will steal the arrowhead before falling out of the window which mcgregor sees and he immediately follows her so I assume he knew to come there and that there's a scene where she asks him in one of their bedrooms about wanting to go on an adventure. So I'm assuming the bedroom scene comes first and she'll tell him about the arrowhead, he'll refuse to help her but decide to come last minute because he's worried about her (and the worry is immediately proven right as she falls out of a window lol). But we know so little that it's a really loose theory.

And yes!! Lily's costumes are so good. Frank calls her Pants so they will absolutely address that she's dressed very unusual for a woman of her status in 1916/17 and I hope they explore that a little and address where she even gets her clothes and everything. I mean Emily Blunt looks good in everything but the costume department really made something gorgeous with this. She is, for the time the movie is set in, very gender nonconforming which I love in a female lead. And Emily described Lily's fighting style as very Indiana Jones and brutal without much tactic or thinking and just brute force and I really would die for this characterisation. Like when I compare this to similar female leads like in The Mummy for example they're usually highly feminine, aggressive only in their attittude and witty banter but always emphasised to be beautiful and wearing dresses and lots of (usually historically inaccurate) makeup and they get like one scene where they smack the bad guy with sth heavy or sth so noone can say they're a damsel in distress even though they are. But Lily feels very much like a coherent person to me. She's very unusual for a woman at her time, her desire for adventure is in line with how she fights and dresses but she doesn't seem to have the "uwu I'm not like other girls" thing going on, she's just exactly who she is and wants to be.

and of COURSE I wanna hear your theory are you kidding! Cause I still haven't figured it out at all lmao. I just settled on "she probably meant he was off screen but right next to them while they filmed it" or sth bc I couldn't make sense of it otherwise.

also I haven't posted everything new directly here I think, but you probably know where to look for the new stuff. like there's some clips on their instagrams and most stuff is on youtube.

[frogsandfries]

I was gonna write a blog, but I forgot why

I guess I can talk about a couple things.

I decided to start taking the dog for walks. I just started yesterday, but I feel good, and she loves it. We started out walking about twenty minutes and I'm still working out how to cover more ground without stressing her out walking next to traffic. I guess I never realized how walking helped me wake up, because with my friend from Arizona, I only ever walked to work, usually on a weird schedule. I feel a lot more aware, a lot more vibrant. Elevated. I like to walk hungry.

Oh, I don't think I mentioned, the other day, I got a referral when I was eating out with my dad and sister. The place we were eating is desperate for help; I have very recent food service experience and I'm desperate for a job. I'm going to see if I didn't lose that app, and maybe I'll take it back yet this week. If it's part-time, that leaves time to keep working on charms and if it's full-time, that'll be awesome for saving.

My dad has decided to keep Knuckles, the white van that I sunk so much effort into, and he's just going to sink in whatever expense he feels like, take on the whole project, finish the interior. I wasn't really planning to go back to that van. In my opinion, something newer, something I don't have to worry about struggling to catch up on mechanical stuff, is a better match for me. I only want to focus on the interior. Also, I'm willing to pay a little more for room to stand, which will be essential for at least my shower, but I also really would prefer the option to stand at my desk. I'm almost definitely going to make any custom furniture(and honestly, it will probably all be custom) from EPS, because as I've mentioned previously, I want the furniture to be as lightweight as possible. The less the furniture weighs, the better my mileage will be.

It would be kind of awesome to have my desk in front of the door, to be able to work on the verge of the outdoors. Additionally, after my time in Arizona, my belief in those thermal felt curtains has been redoubled. The trick may be moot in humid Wisconsin, but somewhere like Arizona, light=heat.

I'm so incredibly homesick for mountains. Ever since I was little, I wanted to see the mountains for myself. As an adult, I figured I probably wouldn't like the mountains as much as I had imagined as a kid. I figured it would be one of those things where you build it and build it in your imagination until reality has no way to match your anticipation, but this was probably impossible. For me, I don't think I had a way to over-anticipate how it would be to live in the mountains, so actually being there ended up being absolutely nothing like I imagined, but better than I ever could have imagined.

Additionally, I'm an absolute nut for the stars. I had no idea, no way of imagining, how vibrant and amazing the view of the stars could be. I'm definitely hooked.

Right now, from my state of chronic instability, having money for a decent semi-stealth van seems like a fantasy. I haven't had a stable job since Wal-Mart--just over two years now. I can talk big talk about how I could've stayed at my job in Arizona, but from this perspective, we'll never know. I did put in proper notice, and I did express interest in coming back, so maybe after I finish my degree, I can test my theory. For better or worse, I think my van combined with a part-time job is really optimal to let me get my charms off the ground, but also keep some cash in my pocket.

Honestly, when I get the van, I'm really hoping for a stripped out van. I'm going to do the same insulation sandwich as last time, but I'd rather do half-inch foil foam. Of course, foil out, maybe one-inch pink foam, and another half-inch foil foam, foil in. Once it's insulated, I'm hoping to have the curtains done. Then literally, when the interior is finished, I will move in with just a counter, toilet, shower and bed. I will eat dry cereal if that's what it takes to finally have my own place and space. I kind of can't wait to put together my power supply and all that. It's just a majorbummer that I'm going to have to start entirely from scratch. Also, it's annoying; I didn't even benefit financially from every last thing I sunk into Knuckles.

I think this time, instead of trying to buy all the materials as I have the money, I might buy a stash of gift cards and label them for the material. Then, maybe when I've bought a van, if I have to, I could rent a storage bin and work. But it would obviously be preferable to have at least a driveway next to wherever I'm living. Especially during summer, if I don't have the power going. Oh, that's right, I was going to put the power in first, so I wouldn't run into the same issue with dangerous temperatures inside the van while I'm trying to work. I am very attached to the idea of the electrical cabinet over the cab.

I so badly want to start my family, like right now. It's at the fore of my thoughts all the time--and more with my friend wanting to go off her birth control and her wishes to finally have a second child. I'm definitely jealous that she's planning her second, and I don't even have a husband--let alone one who makes enough to support a family. I feel like my wishes for a life-partner are too specific. My "friend" from Arizona is definitely great inspiration for my ideal partner. He was tall, which I loved, with a long ponytail. I also loved that we got along so easily from the beginning. Things between us were usually very lowkey and mellow--except the sex. The only way I'll get over that sex is to have even more amazing sex, which I'm not sure is possible. I didn't think it was possible, and maybe it was a fluke or my imagination, but it was incredible to feel that magnetic attraction from almost the beginning.

As for personality, I liked when my friend was being dominant. Don't tell anyone, but I liked being taken care of. I also loved that, even after all that bonding was done, if either of us had something to talk about that sparked strong feelings, the conversation was so lively. Of course, you can't go wrong with a guy who at least tries to be thoughtful about what he eats, a guy who likes to cook. I don't want to be talked down to, but a guy who can teach me how to be better at the things that I struggle with.

In my friend, I could have done without the copious drinking. Also, getting mad at people for doing things he doesn't like in himself. Oh, and that pesky fantasy barbie. It also would have been nice to be working with someone who has better money sense, and someone who is willing to learn from others, take others' advice. Someone whose parents like me, who has the common sense to see, no matter how rough his relationship with them, that if his parents like me, that's a good sign. Additionally, my "friend" had an issue with empathy as in autism. The ability to see that he's not the only one struggling his struggles, and he's not the only one with thoughts and ideas.

Let's circle back to that part where I liked being dominated. I really liked it. I craved it so badly when we were living with his parents and it felt like I had to nanny him. I crave it almost worse, now, than sex, but that might be because I might have come to somehow correlate joblessness with wanting to serve and earn my keep. However, now, there's no one to serve. I feel more like a child. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea how to find a good dom for me--I don't really want to fuss around with someone who's not interested, but less than that do I have any inclination to mess with a bad dom. I would say my friend was a poor dom. He was unfaithful to his sub in the first place. I would say, at least for her, at least from my perspective, he sounded like he was phoning it in.

He helped me build a very clear visual of what I want and need in a partner. It is very much his loss that he let me go. I'm pretty well past the parts where I didn't want to be apart from him and the parts where I would have given up my ultimate goal of living somewhere that I own completely and have complete control over. It does of course, hurt to feel like I'm not even worth messaging. It makes me feel a little more lonely than I felt before I moved. However, when someone holds you at a distance like that, and even kind of pushes you further away, it's hard to deal with the confusion. In the unlikely event that he wants to come back into my life a third time, he's going to have to work very hard to with me back over. But I would love to be part of his family. That would be amazing.

While specific, I don't think my standards are unrealistic.

Anyway.

I think for now, I really need to strictly focus on me and my personal goals, at whatever the cost. I need my foundation under me now more than ever. I absolutely cannot afford ever again to live in fear of the stability of my living arrangements. I can't let someone else decide whether or not they like having me in their home. Also, I really do need my freedom. If I want or need to be somewhere, I want to be able to get to that place.