#and shun as someone of space i think is fitting

[fiddleyoumust]

So, the reality series The Boyfriend has eaten a large chunk of my brain recently. I'm not usually a huge reality TV person, but this show is scratching my brain so well, and I think it's mostly because it's very communication focused. So we get a lot of these men being exposed to different ideas and perspectives, different ways of communicating and problem solving, and most importantly, different ways of being in intimate relationships.

Shun is not my favorite person in the house, but I do find him the most fascinating to watch navigate these new relationships. He's extremely low energy, moody, introverted, outwardly calm, and reflective. He very obviously does not trust his own instincts about love and relationships, which is understandable given what he's revealed about past partners.

There is obviously a lot going on with Shun below the surface, and I get the feeling he is an extremely emotional person who has gotten very good at masking those emotions because he's never had anyone who cared about him enough to unmask them. We show our emotions to others because we want something in return - validation, comfort, understanding, etc. But we are able to show those emotions because we have an understanding with the people we are showing them to, that we will get something in return, that they care enough to give us something back for being open about our feelings.

Shun, an orphan who spent his entire childhood in an orphanage and who has had mostly toxic romantic relationships, hasn't had anyone he could trust enough to share his emotions with, so he is very closed off, even though he has a good understanding of his emotions and is a very good communicator when he needs to be. I think Dai (the guy Shun is most interested in) is a great fit for him, even though Shun hasn't fully realized it yet. Dai is ready to be that person for Shun, and his desire for Shun to trust him, his desire to be Shun's safe space is palpable in every move he's made to get closer to Shun.

In one of the most recent episodes, Shun passes up the opportunity to spend time with Dai simply because Shun's in a bad mood. He immediately feels bad about it because he knows his rejection hurt Dai's feelings. When Dai gets back from the daily mission, Shun makes a failed attempt to explain himself.

The conversation is so interesting because Shun is making a case for why not going with Dai was his perogative and Dai, who is just a really excellent person, and who has really tried hard to meet Shun where he is emotionally, is 100% not interested in having that conversation. Because he doesn't actually care if Shun wanted to go or not go, it's Shun's disregard for Dai's feelings that he's upset about. It's being taken for granted. They are not having the same conversation. But Dai also doesn't want to tell Shun how to fix it because he wants Shun to care about him enough to figure it out on his own.

They leave that conversation with Shun feeling worse than when he went into it. He goes off to sulk with a bottle of wine. Then Taehon, another contestant, joins him, and they have one of the best conversations I've seen on a reality show.

Shun talks about why he didn't go on the daily mission with Dai and how he doesn't feel like he had to volunteer to go, even though he likes Dai a lot. Taehon validates Shun's feelings, and here is the part that really hit me, and the part that I really hope Shun remembers later because he's revealed a bit about his past relationships and it seems like he was very much a person who got obsessed and lost himself to the whims of the men he's been interested in.

Shun tells Taehon, "I'm not obligated to go with Dai. We're not even dating yet." And Taehon replies, "Even if you were dating already, you're still not obligated to go." And MY GOD I hope those words stay with Shun for the rest of his life. That was something someone like Shun NEEDED to hear. You do not have to bend to the whims of your romantic partner. They are not entitled to drag you beyond your boundaries, and it is 100% okay to set boundaries and demand your romantic partners respect them.

Shun goes on to wonder if he wasn't wrong, why does he still feel so bad about what happened. Taehon tells him maybe focusing on right and wrong isn't what's important here, and Shun all on his own realizes what he feels bad about is hurting Dai's feelings, and even if hurting Dai wasn't intentional, and even though Shun had the right to not spend time with Dai, he should still let Dai know he's sorry that his choice caused Dai pain.

So, Shun apologizes for hurting Dai, and Dai is very happy, and the two of them get back on track. The entire show is so emotionally satisfying because you get to see in real time the ways people communicate, the intricacies of navigating new relationships, both romantic and not. If you enjoy watching people in all their odd, frustrating beauty, I highly recommend checking out The Boyfriend on Netflix. It's delightful.

[spinnyspinnyspinnnn]

Since there's an off chance all us Americans getting nuked in November, there's one last thing(not really) I feel I have to share with you:

I do not understand why antis harass proshippers. Really, I don't. I don't see a real point in the matter. And here's some potential arguments I see, and why I think it might be wrong, aside than the morals of harassment.

"But they're all kid diddlers-"

Most of them are kids, from what I've seen, and the ones that are actual kid diddlers who intend to do the diddling are typically shunned from their community.

"But it's a harmful coping mechanism-"

What if they don't have anything else, huh? I'm not trying to really defend the shit but I'd rather see proshippers post incest and age-gap stuff than watch someone else fall to much more graphic coping mechanisms that might end up killing them. And even if it isn't a coping mechanism, why is that our business?

"But proshipping is bad-"

Bad? Maybe. But antis have also watered down their terms. From the research I've done, it's being anti-harassment. Not caring what people do in fiction. It's a stance a lot of us could and should take on, because being against harassment is a good thing. If you bring that shit into real life, then yeah you're a piece of garbage, but I don't see the point in bringing it into fandom spaces and being shunned for it. People have mentioned how proship used to be a default, that us antis are basically the fandom version of purity culture. I don't get it.

"But it's so graphic and-"

That's plain hypocritical and you know it. So many of us antis enjoy dark and graphic media. Hell, I'm writing something with multiple graphic, violent scenes and awful relationships that, since I'm nearing 18 the more I write this project, may end up mildly n$fw at some points if the shoe fits. If we can indulge in our yanderes, in our torture scenes, in our "toxic yuri/yaoi," and all those other things.. the stuff they do seems not that much different, other than maybe the sexual points. Then again, so many books and movies exist that are graphic and s3xual that antis enjoy that it really doesn't matter. If we can indulge in that fucked up stuff, why can't they indulge in their fucked up stuff? What's the real difference here?

But {insert obvious rage bait-}"

Clearly, you've fallen for stuff you shouldn't. You don't need to "fix their headcanons," that's their whole point. People who post shit like that just want attention. And attention you constantly give them. Same with the art posts. You don't need to fix the bait, dude. It's nothing to get angry over, there's bigger fish in the sea.

From what I've seen, most actual proshippers just want to be left the fuck alone, to stop being harassed by us. If we're the "good guys" in fictional, fandom spaces, why do we go out and tell those people to die, to get assaulted, to get abused and harmed, and how to do awful things to themselves, all because of their stance on fandom spaces and the things they may or may not even ship? Are we really being "good" there? Or are we just under the guise that we're good by protecting those characters while we completely disregard how disgusting and horrendous it actually is to say things to real people and real kids?

By the original stance that proshipping and profiction meant(anti-harassment, leave people be, etc.), what proshippers actually claim to be nowadays, most of us could, in a technical sense, be considered proship/profic. That includes myself. If we use the definition most antis who harass proshippers use, that being those who enjoy problematic ships and condone these things IRL, that wouldn't fit. And only one of those things, the problematic ships part, could be considered under the profiction stance as either comship(complicated ship, from what I can tell), or darkship(which is the really messed up shipping tropes that you'd see headcanons of in rage bait posts, but actually taken seriously and thought of instead of being used for attention).

If you read to the end, this is just food for thought. Feel free to block me if you don't agree with any of this. Or, if you have something I'm missing, feel free to engage in some casual discussion with me. I'm not asking to fight or stir up drama, this is just how I feel about things and if you have a different opinion you want to talk about, go ahead and mention it.

Be civil, people and creatures alike. I'll be using tags from both communities to allow a healthy debate on this post. You'll be blocked if you start fighting people or myself.

[in-a-vancaster]

I’m aromantic.

I’m cishet.

I don’t know my feelings, I don’t know what people are talking about, I don’t know how to express myself in a good way.

Just in general, fuck it

Is it so important to put people into your nice little boxes and determine if they’re “queer enough”? “Aro enough”?

I understand wanting to make a space for you, and those like you, but when you become what you swore to destroy, someone who discriminates because someone isn’t like you, you’ve missed the point. You can’t make criteria for queerness, because everyone experiences this differently.

To those who think there are those who aren’t aro enough, queer enough, and otherwise like you enough to fit into your box, I give a big fuck you, aro beam

To all of you who don’t know your place, don’t know your feelings, don’t know what you’re “supposed to be”

I love you, you deserve to have a place in a community that doesn’t shun those who don’t fill their strict criteria

[readerhead]

Hits different

summary: it has never been so difficult getting over a guy

pairing: Matt x reader

warnings: some angst? idk, maybe if you have abandonment issues can be a little triggering (let me know if you think I should add any)

word count: 1.2k

a/n: okay, I'm really excited because it's my birthday! I wanted to gave you a gift because of that (I don't care that they should the other way around, I'm a giver <3). Now that I'm of legal age in Thailand, I want to communicate you: ANOTHER ONE BASED ON A TAYLOR SONG. Sorry, it's just midnights always makes me think of Matt. It's my first time writing "angst" so I hope you have an enjoyable time reading this :)

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The reflection on the dirty mirror of Josie's was judging you. You were a complete mess, from your hair to your makeup. The long hours taming your hair, quickly went to the trash. All frizzy and disheveled now. The burgundy lipstick, blurred. The mascara, smudged and dry under your eyes. Your dry throat made you gulp and the acid on your taste buds reminded you of how you were throwing up in a stranger's shoes moments ago. A stranger you briefly made out with. Not that you really wanted, but your friends told you you needed this. Finally, you finished washing your hands of your vomit and decided it was time to call it a night. Why was everything feeling so wrong?

Someone called a cab for you. Was it one of your friends? Josie? Perhaps the stranger? Once inside you started weeping, trying to not make any sound. The driver gave you a sad look from the rearview, as if your emotions were contagious.

You remember clearly why your stomach had that reaction. While kissing that guy, you started wondering if he was also kissing others. Did he like another? Was that the reason he disappeared? Was he in love with another? Did he even think of you? The image of him kissing a random woman, being there for her, loving her was what made your insides turn around, leaving a disgusting gift near the bar's door.

“If he’s the one, you’ll know” your friend started comforting you when you started shedding tears at the song that played on the radio on your first date which was blasting through the speakers.

“But he treated me so well. I love him. I’m so in love with Matt that it hurts.” you didn’t remember how you started talking about him, but you also didn’t remember talking about anything else.

“What hurts?”

“My heart. It’s like a little rodent is gnawing it bit by bit, after being sanded down with sandpaper and then burning every piece in the sun. And the worst is that I can't do anything to stop it.”

“Come on, girl. Love’s just a lie. A trick from companies, lawyers and the government to take your money.” another friend tried to cheer you up.

“You’re literally gonna get married in two months.” she shut up knowing you were right. “I wanted him to move in, even gave him a key, and he ran away.” you took another sip from your drink. “He was so perfect. Like out-of-a-Jane-Austen’s-book perfect.”

“He wouldn't be so perfect if he let you go.” you were quiet, thinking. “You know what you should do?” You look at her hopefully. “You should flirt with other guys, maybe kiss a few and if one of them’s lucky enough bring him home. That always made you get over any guy before.”

“Exactly. You used to switch from boy to boy like they were toys. Always saying you needed space or ghosting them. That the freedom felt like a beach breeze.” you were so disgusted. Matt wasn’t a fleeting random guy, he was the man that made you want to settle down. “Always shunning commitment.”

A couple weeks had passed. You woke up from dreaming of him. This time you blamed it on the movie you watched last night. ‘This ending is more realistic, otherwise he had left her’ this was what you said to the screen with your mouth full of popcorn when the love interest died. You found one of his blue shirts in your closet. Damn, you loved how those fit him. You took it and when the scent of him started invading your nose, your eyes started watering like a reflex, without your permission. That morning, every time you closed your eyes you remembered something about him.

“Do you think I can do it?” with his head in your thighs, you were massaging his hair while insecurities about your work were eating you alive. The feeling of his locks and his relaxed face were the only thing easing up your stress.

“Of course you can. You are the most capable person I’ve ever known.”

“But do you believe in me?”

“The faith I have in you could make the big guy up there jealous.” the outside of his eyes wrinkled. The reason? Easy, the sweetest smile you have contemplated in your life. All your self doubting was gone at those words accompanied by that view.

That’s the memory that popped up to your head when you passed the couch in your living room. The next one happened when you were waiting for the coffee to finish.

“That can’t be true! It��s not fair.” the wooden spoon pointing at Matt.

“Yet it is.”

“Bullshit.” he laughed.

“I doubt Columbia taught me wrong.”

“Maybe your professor lied to you.”

“And he took all the time to learn braille so he could change what was written in my books?”

“Maybe. There are a lot of creepy crazy people out there.”

“Could you just stop arguing and give me a kiss?” he said, grabbing the wrist that was still threatening him, getting you the closer he could.

“Only if you agree with me.”

“I agree that it ain’t fair.”

“It works for me.” you gripped his shirt, sealing the conversation with a kiss.

Before him you would have argued that injustice was inherent to human kind, however he made you believe in the good, in people, in this world.

You looked at your phone, killing time scrolling to social media. You saw a post of your friends, they went to a bar last night and you didn’t blame them for not inviting you after the little show you put up on the last night you went out.

Taking your mug you sat in the stool nearest to your fridge, the one that gave you a better view of your hall. Perhaps he would show up. At least that's what you told yourself every morning when you had breakfast sitting there, boring your eyes in the door as if it was going to make him materialize.

People usually talk about opportunities as trains and you were more than willing to take it, but you were waiting in a disused station waiting for one that never came again. You were exhausted from all these metaphors in your life, reminding you how you lost him. You had enough with literal events. It wasn't easy seeing him in the news a couple days before when his firm won a big case against some big fish called Fisk.

You were so immersed in your thoughts that you almost didn't hear it. What was that sound by your door? You didn't want to get hopeful, it could be just your neighbor. Was that a dingling in your lock? The only one with your house keys was… It couldn't be him, could it? Were you still dreaming? The expectation had you holding your breath and, when the door finally opened, you didn’t know how to feel.

“I know you probably just want to kick me out,” did you? You had daydreamed hours and days about this, how would it be like the next time you see each other, if he would be the one reaching out for you, if he would really want you back. “you have every right to do it, but at least I think you deserve an explanation. Then, if you want me to leave, I’ll understand.”

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a/n: am I a bad person for leaving an open ending?Maybe? Anyways, the song is 'Hits different' by the genius Taylor Swift. I know it's in the title but I put it here in case someone doesn't know it :)

[transdragonlira]

Your addition to the monster post is... So nice. You seem like you're incredibly passionate and fierce and loving and using your sona as an example of a 'monster' is really, really strong. Thank you!

also. can I see the bug please. I would very much like to see the sexy legged beast if that's okay please

Thank you very much! I have an incredibly strong connection to my sonas and being a furry in general! My entire queer identity as a person would have been completely different if I didn't manage to find the fandom (if it would have even existed at all). My fursona is even the origin of my irl name, I just used her name to try stuff out, and it really stuck!

And yeah, I really vibe with the monster interpertation of my sona. I really wanted to write more in that post but I didn't have the time or words when I wrote that, and didn't feel like it would add much to the post to go even more in detail about that, it would be a repitition of what they already said

But this is a new post so I can say what I want here

As someone who's autistic and trans, and had major hearing issues when I was younger (I'm fine now, but when I was younger I once lost aroud 90% of my hearing), I was never the type to fit in. I only have ever felt like I fit in in places that are queer and/or neurodivergent (like furry spaces are). I am too familiar with being shunned by average people. Furries really are the best

One specific part about the monster example that really hits in the feels is the fact that I really was seen as scary at school. Because I was autistic, I had autistic meltdowns. And mine manifested in the way of anger issues. I was lost and confused of all the unspoken rules, and that caused me to lash out at the bullies. This was first a reason to bully me more, but when I got older, this got a bit scary. I was genuienly seen like a monster. A monster to try to agitate a little bit to get a ruse, because she was chained to a cage of rules. But the same bars that enchaged her, protected her bullies from being punished for their deeds.

That is why although my sona may seem fierce, she really is a sweetheart, almost motherly (Centipedes in nature are known to be very caring mothers!) Despite being seen as a monster, she is still kind to all. But if you wrong her, or even worse, a fellow monster, she won't hestitate to bite. She is only fierce as a defense mechanism. She does not want to be fierce. She wants to care. But she keeps on being fierce anyway. She had no other choice.

I want to say that I'm currently in the proces of changing into this sona, as my sona was a dragon for a long time. And the more I think about it, she is kinda the person I want to be rather than the person I am right now. And that's completely ok! She is still very close to me, as she is the origin of my irl name. I (still) need something to strive for, and she is the perfect way to do so. Especially when I was a younger queer, unsure of what I wanted out of my body.

To be loved is to be changed. And I am currently loving myself, and my sona.

It's only natrual that she will change a bit. However, she will always be the same creature in my head. After all, I am my sona, and I am all my previous iterations of yesterday -why couldn't she be as herself as well as all of her previous iterations as well?

And while I'd absolutely love to show you the sexy legged beast, the nature of this sona being fairly new means I haven't gotten the time to draw her very much yet, and the one real fullbody of her is nsfw and idk if I can show her because of tumblr rules, but here is a cropped version, and a emote of her being embaressed. (and you can dm for the full! I am not scared to show my full, beautiful body!)

It kinda really sucks that I can't show the full here. A HUGE part of this sona is about the fact that she isn't a particularly girly girl, and that she has a big dick instead of a pussy. But she is still a girl! She might be embarrased about people wanting her, but that's because she is inexperienced! (They are 18+, don't worry) She is confident in her body and showing all of it of, because she knows that there will always be people that will be disgusted by her. But the love she receives by others makes it all worth it.

Honestly I could write a full article on how fursonas and gender (and queer identities in general) are linked. I don't think it's a coincidence that around 1 in 4 to 1 in 3 of every furry is not cisgender. (Less clear source, scroll down for the latest update: https://furscience.com/research-findings/demographics/1-3-sex-and-gender/) Heck, my very first fursona from when I was extremely new to the fandom was a girl- I had no clue back then that I was transgender. All I knew is that it felt right.

Lastly I want to say, despite really vibing with the monster theme, and it really applying to me and my sona, a big part of it (and what I mostly wanna draw with my sona) is trying to accept that we aren't really monsters. We are othered by society, but we are not bad monsters. We are lovely creatures, trying to love our lives like everyone else. We have all sorts of positive traits! I may have trouble understanding everyone, and yes, I am quick to anger. But you know what I also am? Like you said, I AM passionate, loving, and fierce. I am also intelligent, and have great marks in college, and am creative. And most of all, I want everyone in the world to trive to the point where it eats me up inside thinking about the evils in this world. Is that a trait you would say a monster would have?

And again, thank you, I got a couple of asks asking to see my sona because they sounded cool, and it's people like you that make the online world amazing to be in, stay yourself, and love yourself for who you are

[pysoch]

I cannot get enough of vampire medic I cannot get enough of him I cannot I cannot I cannot I love the concept the idea is so addicting the possibilities are endless it's like being handed a marker in a padded cell im FEEERAAAAAL

No and hear me out it's not because the whole blood infatuation (simply a plus) but because it's so easy to bend his persona around that of a vampire in terms of being a recluse, tired, agonistic and shunning god himself, with a sultry but suave attitude and a stone expression only broken by longing for mortality or non-violent love when that's all he knows HEHEIAHAHEUSHUEEVEVWVEBSHSBBS NO BECAYSE PLEASE HEAR ME OUUUUTTTT

Getting into surgical fields and dangerous work as a medic just so he'd have an excuse not only to fulfill the hunger he has but to see the inner workings and lives of mortals while trying not to freak them ouuuttTTTTT HELLLEPEMM MEMEME

And hear me OUUUUUUUUT think of all your guy's stupid and questionable ships among the mercs fit names as space provides but imagine the amount of angst alone this could bring holy shittttt and especially how the team sees him as abnormal and sadistic but internally he just wants a life with someone he won't FRIGHTEN AWAY, ANGER, OR FEED OFF OF BUT THEN THERES THE SUBTLE TONES THAT HE "FEEDS OFF OF THEM" EMOTIONALLY OHHHHH GODDDD

NO AND GODDD BLESSSS PLEASE LOOK I FOUND THIS ON PINTREST THE USER IS GRAPEFRUITSFORP

also becaus. Red.!!!

[sophieinwonderland]

hi o/ jus wana start by saying dis is jus semi incoherent rambling of a sleeby oupy who didnt get to eat 5 borgars for dinner.

i find the anti endo point of “just doing it for attention” so weird

for one its really disconected from real life, like, attention is a basic need fir our body, its why solutary confinment is such good tourture. its like saying ��theyre just doing it to get food” :l dumb argument, evyone needs and withholding food because someones starving is an evil thing to do, an so is ignoring someone who’s in need of social interaction.

and two, its blatantly wrong. like, we’ve told 0 people irl about being a system, we’ve only told like, 3 online friends, and we never talk about system stuff with them still cuz we’re scared of loosing those friends for being too weird. we pretty much never post about it on our blog an besides the blog description no one wud probably ever know. the one time someone guessed we’re a system in a discord servr i had a full anxiety attack an avoided any interaction for 2 weeks even tho they were accepting, an then when we finaly went back to talking there i made sure we had any trace of system stuff wiped from the servr profile an deleted the messages that made them ask and only just showed that all again after 2 months of keeping everything hidden. we’re terrified of people we know knowing we’re a system or getting attention cuz of tgat.

tho we’re definitly on the extreme end for that (mostly me tbh… the social isolation and abandonment issues exo-memories and the body’s trauma from similar irl stuff deff made me super scared about this) but its a pretty similar experience for a lot of systems from wut ive seen where telling ppl is pretty much an act of compleat trust an usualy very anxiety inducing.

besides, if someone really wus just after attention, they could just post a incorrect fact online or a really dumb take. thats much easier an will get a lot more attention than faking being a system ever could. like, saying something like “reading is bourgeoisie” on a semi popular post will be a thousand times better at getting u attention than being a system ever could.

theres so much more i wana say about this, like the ableism inherent to that argument point, or the way its linked to child abuse, but phone keyboard is stupid and terrible and im too hungy to think well enough to write out those points properly an do them justice.

anyways, i hope u have a great day/night depending on when u read this.

Right! And if they're claiming people are wanting positive attention, I don't see that as being that hard either.

Like, if someone wants to talk to people on the internet about stuff, there are spaces out there for literally anything and anyone. You're not going to get more attention for being a system than you would for being outspoken in a fandom or a religion or any other social group you're a part of.

People who want attention... don't need to pretend to have people in their head to get it. And the attention you would get for that is often going to be negative because a lot of people are sanist and pluralphobic. But as you mention, it's not even the best way to get negative attention when there are so many actual troll-y things you can do.

You can find hundreds of communities online with people who will support you and give you attention for your takes on various topics! Or you can find hundreds more who will hate you if you push the right buttons!

There's just... no logical reason to fake being plural for attention.

And isn't this, again, the very same claims that have always been made against the LGBTQ community?

It's actually kind of funny how that happens, isn't it?

The people who are getting attention are generally the ones who most conform to society. It's not plural or trans people. It's the ones who do their best to fit in and be like everyone else in their group. Meanwhile, people who have identities that diverge from the norm are often left outcasts and shunned by peers.

And yet it's the latter group that's accused of attention seeking?

It makes no sense. 🤷‍♀️

[xxx-theartofsuicide-xxx]

Greetings, I'm a fairly new gal to the beetlejuice fandom (I've seen the movie and the cartoon back in the day but I've never engaged in the fandom until the musical came out) And English speaking spaces are.. not exactly new, but still, most views they share don't come naturally to me, or I straight up disagree anyway. So, while I can't fully stomach how agressive you are with your views (I get why you are though, and I think you are admirable for how set in your ideals you are and how they are not your typical cancel culture cultists bullshit) your posts about dark romance and why a lot of afab like them and why mass media hates that afab like them give me some food for thought.

So, I just wanted to say thank you? I always felt so very guilty for liking stuff that *my* side of the internet wouldn't even look twice at, because most of spaces that use my language don't care either way, but English speaking side of the internet keeps telling you, you are a creep for liking (And I was literally a minor then I first started feeling like this). I just.. it's so refreshing to see that there's sides of eng speaking fandoms which aren't either a puritists who would devour you for saying or doing ONE minor wrong thing they consider unforgivable, or straight up (usually amab) creeps who find excuses for predatory behavior in real life and are straight up homophobic and transfobic.

It always felt like I either don a persona of being this.. strange ideal of a person with views that I don't fully agree with, blame myself for liking things I'm not supposed to, and keep very very quiet about myself and my interests or I'm joining the other side which is even worse. I, as a young adult woman (can't even drink yet if I was living in America), always felt the need to fit.fit.fit. And now that you pointed out how misogynistic most of the views of those people are, I feel less... uncertain? At least I know there's things I need to think on, and I might've viewed a lot of the things in a way I wouldn't agree with if I had more information. So, I wrote this to say thank you, and to tell you that while people hate you for speaking your truth, your opinions and your strong personality can and will make young adult women like me who don't quite fit, think. It will be reassuring to know that there's someone out there, who is older and more experienced who still likes the same things and is a nice person. Who is agressive, yes, but it's an indication of their strong personality their ability to defend their views who isn't afraid of being bold and loud and use curse words and balantly say "fuck you" to the people who try to shun them, even if I, myself, am not that brave or strong. I used the anon for a reason. I still fear people using my words against me, but the fact that you aren't despite not being part of either group I described is.. it means a lot.

So thank you.

(I'm so very sorry if my anon comes off a bit rambly and is hard to understand, I am still learning how to express myself properly in this language. )

I am picking up the message you are laying down, don't worry about translation issues. Your English is pretty good actually, if you hadn't told me it wasn't your first language idk if I would have known.

I'm aggressive because I have to be as a survival technique. Any show of vulnerability is immediately capitalized on and used to hurt me because these motherfuckers are obsessed.

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. I stand for freedom of fiction, and for women and girls; and everything that entails.

I've been cancelled and cancelled and cancelled and I'm still here lmao. I'm still popular. I still get messages like these from people like you who resonate with me. Cancelling isn't anything but free publicity for my nasty beetlebabes fanfic. My numbers always shoot after interactions like this.

I'm just saying what we're all thinking and I'm not apologizing for it. These people depend on your fear. Fear is how they control you. "Think/talk/act this way, don't step out of line, or we will use every tool at our disposal to destroy you." I welcome each and every one of them to please give it their best damn shot.

They ain't got shit on me. And they ain't got shit on you either, babe. Don't be afraid of anyone who uses fear tactics to control you. If you're not afraid of them, they lose all their power.

[dayurno]

What is the thing you disagree with in most fanon portrayals of Neil?

i used to think it was because neil was shoehorned into 'feminine' roles (whatever i thought that may be, looking back) and ultimately changed as a character to fit whatever the narrative required of him, but now that i am older and (?!) wiser i do believe my original feelings towards the ever mythicized ooc feminine neil were born from a place of rejection for gender non-conforming people, and an overall aversion to the idea of femininity (arguably one of the most important aspects of who i am, true then and true now) being tied in any way with sexual expression and preference.

i will say this. i think the knee-jerk rejection of saying 'not all gay men are feminine bottoms!' to content where one of them is, in fact, a feminine bottom, is not unlike lesbians in my own community who protest to the idea that all lesbians are man-hating hairy dykes (and try not to swoon just at the mention!). we reject gender non-confomity; we don't want it to represent our communities. we want to be one of the good ones. i'm a lesbian, but i'm not like those masculine dykes. i'm a gay man, but i'm nothing like those hyperfem sissies. fandom had come to a point where we genuinely thought conformist gender expressions were somehow lacking representation; we sincerely believed the idea that a couple made up of two masculine, gender-conforming men were somehow closer to the real deal than a couple where one of them was either feminine-presenting or had traits that can be associated with femininity.

i lived with this idea for a long time, until i started frequenting queer spaces in my area and realized that actually, in the material world, where i live, where you live, effeminate gay men do not have it easier than their masculine counterparts. the idea that they can be 'over-represented in media' is null. my feminine male friends don't allow themselves to be seen out on the street in so much as a crop top. one of the most common dealbreakers in dating apps for gay and bisexual men is gender non-conformity. a lot of arguments against feminine men who prefer to bottom in media is that 'no gay people are like this', but that is just patently untrue; my best friend in the whole world is a feminine-presenting gay man with a strict preference for being in the bottom. a girl i bought a beer for was a stone top, hyper-masculine, touch-me-not butch. for queer people, gender presentation and sexual activity cannot always be cleanly separated.

i guess (and sorry for how long this is clearly i have Thoughts) my ultimate point here is that i let my own personal disagreement with how neil is portrayed to convince me that there is something wrong with him (and, at large, any male character) being portrayed as someone who is feminine, or has strong sexual preferences, or has personality traits traditionally associated to femininity. i think that is never, ever, ever a solution for anything. there is never going to be a time where we would be right to shun and scoff at content written about gender non-conforming characters, even if they are not canonically gnc. do i still think neil is written in ways that go directly against how his personality is portrayed in canon? yes, but that is a personal opinion, and not something i should try and rationalize in social justice terms, if you get my point. i can just not like it. and i don't. no hard feelings involved :)

[valyrfia]

I really like some of the takes and overall people sharing their opinions in a safe sort of way/space.

I also love how I can trace your point of view not only on lestappen topic but on shipping in general and rpf specifically.

I think sometimes people forget (maybe due to their age or inexperience) that Max and Charles are real life human beings with high stress level jobs and who are public personas as well. If people think about themselves as nuanced individuals they should think the same way about these two too.

Like don’t get me wrong I enjoy analyzing their interactions, I do read fanfiction and always reblog a good gifset or post but I also realize that what I spent my time on is not a true reflection of reality.

Thus I don’t expect them to be publicly smooching every race weekend on camera.

They are just guys doing their job, they seem to have some type of feelings towards each other and they might as well be aware of it but even if it is so we are not gonna know about it probably. Not while they are active F1 drivers at least. And honestly? We are not supposed to know about it. It’s called private life for a reason.

So yeah I’m kinda glad to know that there are other tumblr users with similar opinions on sexuality, personal stuff and shipping and I hope the majority of the fanbase is sharing them.

First of all let me just say this is one of the kindest asks I've gotten, thank you so much <3 I love that you feel I'm curating a safe space for everyone involved

But yeah, I'm an old hat at rpf so I'm pretty good at the cognitive dissonance required to distinguish between the Max and Charles the super famous F1 drivers and the Max and Charles that we cackle about here, which is why I'm pretty straightforward about the fact that I don't like talking about their irl partners or speculating on their sexualities. It does take practice, but I think it's a really vital skill to have if we're going to talk about them. I've been involved with 3 or 4 rpf ships in my time and they get sour quickly unless we explicitly set some boundaries for ourselves.

Also let me play devil's advocate for a moment, let's say either of them are anything not straight. Imagine how absolutely terrifying that is, in an extremely high-stress sport that's had no high-profile non-straight people that competes in countries where being gay can get you killed by law. A grand majority of the fans would change the way they see you, probably some of the higher ups would too. Tabloids would hound you relentlessly and it's likely some people or their families in your circle would shun you. There is no way you would even think about the possibility of being openly queer in an environment like that. Whatever their sexualities are is their own private business, which is why I explicitly refuse to speculate. It's important to distinguish feelings from sexuality here. You can speculate on someone's feelings without speculating on their sexuality or how they identify.

That being said, fic plays by different rules (apart from the partners bit). I think fic can use these characters of Max and Charles to explore some really interesting theses on sexuality and how it would fit into the sport. It's still important to keep in mind that these aren't the Max and Charles that exist here in the real world though, they're characters based off of them.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #24

You know what? I found today a lovely picture of you smiling. Check it out:

Some person named rikuka_tw on Twitter made it. I think they did it by substituting someone's in-game model for yours. This naturally means that it's just an imitation of what a genuine smile might look like on your face. But you know what? I'll take it. It's cute. I hope you know that you're cute. I hope you know that anyone can think you're cute.

…Sigh. Truth be told, I am trying to remain chipper and hopeful, but I'm really very tired. There is some delightful person in my world whom I am very much worried about, but I don't think there's anything I can say or do to help. Realistically, this person is trapped in a very untenable situation in a world where if you fall behind, you end up stranded and unable to move or do anything to recover without serious intervention. I can try to tell this person to remain hopeful and I can try to tell them that their existence has meaning and value, and I can try to tell them that they are worth my time and effort. But I can't zoop to where this person is and bring them hydration and a nutritious meal. And even if I could, the reality of the situation is that this person probably would not accept such things. The system in which most of my world lives provides little to no support for people who are struggling. It is why this person has fallen through the cracks and is now in this untenable situation in the first place.

Short of directly providing this person with a safe living space and a means of transportation (which is not within my power to do by myself), the cause of this pain cannot be addressed. It is difficult to remain alive in a place where there are arbitrary barriers put between people and the things that they need in order to live. It is difficult to remain alive in a place where people believe that one is only deserving of life and love if they fulfill certain conditions first, as though existing is something that has to be earned, and that whether or not one has "earned" it must be constantly tested. It is difficult to remain alive in a world that shuns abuse survivors, or anybody who does not fit the bill of what is considered "normal". Unfortunately, in my world, the definition of "normal" is so narrow that hardly anybody can fit into it.

What's more, everyone has different ideas of what a person has to "do" in order to "deserve" to live. The result is a world full of people who reject both themselves and everyone else around them. So then, everyone runs around trying to "prove" to themselves and to everyone else that they deserve to live and to be loved by the people in their general vicinity and the world at large. They bend themselves into pretzels, amputating bits of their true nature, or else trying to add to themselves traits that don't belong to them in order to "fit in". People end up pretending to be someone they're not all the time, and this feels like a huge sacrifice, because it is.

And so some of them, when they see others not making the same sacrifices, and displaying traits that they've been taught are unforgivable, they end up feeling sad, resentful, and like it's not fair that the other person is free in ways that they won't let themselves be - "I would be punished by the people I love for freely engaging in this side of me that I suppressed; why do they get to do it without punishment? This cannot stand, and therefore I will punish them or call others to punish them." Or something to that effect.

We see stuff like this all the time - straight men who love to bake and sew, but know that they'd get made fun of for this, so they suppress this side of themselves and make fun of others for doing the same. Straight women who don't like to apply makeup or style their hair, but know that they'll get made fun of for it if they don't, so they do it even when they don't want to, and make fun of others who don't. At higher levels of power… sometimes we have gay people pretending to be straight to the point that they pass legislation to suppress all other gay people.

I've oversimplified a lot of things - otherwise I'd have to write a book. It's a huge and complicated problem with more moving parts than I know how to keep track of because I'm really not all that smart. All the same, the result of all this is the scapegoating of entire groups of people, with each group of people scapegoating a different group of people, such that every single human is scapegoated by someone somewhere - no matter who you are, SOMEONE is going to be angry that you even exist at all, and wish that they could do something to end you, if not actually take steps towards ending you.

The result of that is a vicious cycle of cynicism and pain that is almost impossible to break free from without help. The result of this vicious cycle is also that very few people here are willing to either give or receive help in any way, shape, or form, for a variety of reasons, most of them stemming from the fact that most of us have been burned so many times by so many different people that trusting anyone is difficult, if not outright impossible.

The result of all these things is that the person I met is trapped in a situation that hardly anyone around them wants to help them escape. They are a formerly abused human and impoverished; people look upon them as though they are worthless or beyond help, so nobody bothers trying, and it doesn't help at all that it seems that the people around this person are also just barely scraping by. Meanwhile, I am on the opposite side of the planet, in an entirely different hemisphere, so my ability to help is also very limited, despite the fact that I very much want to. All I can do is offer a kind word, try to find resources where this person lives that might help, and try to reassure them that they are worth their own effort.

Unfortunately, part of the equation is that the person in question does not believe that I am capable of accurately determining for myself what is and is not worth my time. This person believes that they are not worth my time, and that their assessment and my assessment should be the same. As a result, I've been stonewalled. It is frustrating when people try to decide for me what is and is not worth my time. But I don't know how to counter this without violating their free will. So I sit and wait, not really knowing what to do. Still, I spin my wheels, trying to think of something that won't somehow make the situation worse.

Incidentally, did you know that Australia has a hotline in the case that some Australian is having a crisis and you are worried for them? And did you know that you cannot try to help your Australian friend by making use of this hotline if you're not an Australian citizen? How utterly arbitrary and lame is that?

Also… there's no amount of "if you fail to drink water, fail to feed yourself, and fail to sleep, you will have chemical roadblocks to feeling well and you won't have the strength to brainstorm solutions or manage your emotions" that I can say to a person if they think that a "strong person" should be able to function normally while in a deprived state. And what's more, even though these basic steps are INTEGRAL for the management of the conditions that arise from abuse (everything else follows from making sure your brain has the physical resources it needs, otherwise everything else is insurmountable), to have someone suggest to you that you should eat, sleep, and drink water while your life is falling apart around you probably seems insulting, despite the fact that everything starts from that foundation.

…And I only know because I went through that when I was recovering: "What, drink a glass of water, eat a sandwich, and take a nappy-time like a goddamn toddler and that will magically solve all my fucking problems?? Yeah right, asshole. This is the REAL WORLD; get a fucking grip; I need to maintain my tolerance for functioning on minimal resources so that I'm not caught off guard when the shit inevitably hits the fan!"

…Or so I thought. What I didn't realize at the time was that, indeed, it absolutely will not solve all my problems. However, it WILL give my body the resources it needs to help me to understand that my problems aren't impossible to work through, especially if I ask for help, and to give me the endurance and emotional control I need to keep asking for help from different people no matter how many times I'm ignored or I hear the word "no". Incidentally, it also took me forever and a day to finally learn that asking for help is a thing that's allowed, instead of just being a thing that makes people angry enough to hurt me, or lets people get leverage over me so that they can screw me over later.

It's a mess. I see the subtle and not-so-subtle wreckage of everything around me, and it's terrifying. I see all of the people persisting despite the horrors, and it's beautiful. I see the suffering around me, and I am filled with despair. I see all the people around me trying to help anyway, and I'm filled with hope. No matter which direction I'm pulled in, I'm overcome with how heavy it all is almost all the time, and the heaviness of the absolute nothing (counterintuitive, I know; nothingness is not supposed to weigh anything, but here we are…) that I can do about it is overhelming, because I am just one small voice (and at that, a voice that most people like to dismiss or mock) in a world full of 8 billion people who are all struggling, in their own way, to survive. I am painfully aware that we will not see a world that is peaceful until everyone, all at once, begins to genuinely believe that every life is priceless, without question, condition, or hesitation.

The fact of the matter is that I am tired and I want to go "home". But then I see the picture of you smiling. You carry so much more than I can even begin to imagine on your shoulders, and yet in this image, you are still smiling. From there, it's a little easier for me to remember that I've not yet met all of the people who will be made to smile or laugh, just because I exist in my various silly, clumsy, derpy, and occasionally helpful ways. It's a little easier for me to remember that I have not yet met all of the starfish that I can throw back into the sea; if I fail to try, there is no guarantee that someone else who comes along will.

I don't have power like yours. But I gotta believe that what little I can do is enough, right? And maybe by the end of it, I'll have a bunch of nifty stories to tell to everyone when I finally do return to a place that feels like home.

In case you didn't know, it's beautiful when you smile. I hope that you will work towards a future that will contain many reasons for you to smile and laugh with love and joy for all of the things that live and breathe and all of the weird and unexpected surprises that can happen in this little universe that we call home - our kaleidoscopic little bubble of something that exists in stark defiance of all the nothing that surrounds us. I'll try to keep smiling, too. And I'll ask for help when the corners of my lips feel a little too heavy to do so, if you'll promise me to do the same.

Please stay safe out there. Work hard, but not so hard that you break. Rest. Tend your needs properly. Remember you are loved and cherished and necessary. Make good, kind, and loving choices in light of that knowledge, even if you know that it might not work out. Be your favorite and most gentle self.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[princeloww]

It's almost suffocatingly annoying how little people on the Internet actually think. Just stop to think for one second that the person on the other side of that message is exactly that - a person. And, usually, quite often, a child, at that.

It's almost suffocatingly annoying how little people on the Internet actually think, before they say and do stupid, foul things. The Internet and this site, and even discord (although we all know it is one of the, generally-speaking, less brilliant places to be) are such wonderful things that have such raw and brimming potential to bring people together and make others smile. Yet, despite this, people are dead-set on going online and picking fights and getting wound up in everything other people say or do without any regard for the fact that they are people too.

People are so dead-set and wound tightly in their own little bubble that they forget what manners are and how to use them. The things some people say to others online, so aggressive and immediately ready for a fight, are never, ever things they would say in person. Being online creates a disconnect between you and the person you are talking to. It enrages me that some people never stop to remember that disconnect, and sort themselves the fuck out. I have seen in these last few weeks grown adults swearing at children over stupid things and acting like they are saviours and warriors who should be pitied and, even, respected.

How should anybody respect you when you are, in a public space, berating a child? Dumping anger on a child, a minor, a person under 16, and expecting reward? Expecting applause? Is that what you expect? A gotcha moment, a triumphant laughter, an "and then everybody clapped"?

Kids are going to be extra-sensitive. Kids are not going to be aware of politics and world issues and all of those things. And that's, maybe, for the better. Education and learning are important, but there are times, places and methods, and you, a stranger in a comment section, or a reply, or a Discord channel, swearing at and insulting a child fit into none of those boxes.

And it's not just about children. Adults deserve manners as well, do they not? Yet I have seen again and again people acting and speaking without a single ounce of manners or respect all because they are thoroughly and completely disconnected to the idea that someone, a human person, is sitting writing that response.

Bad people exist. Bad people have bad thoughts and opinions, and they deserve to be corrected and called out for those opinions. But what use is assuming that everybody who makes the slightest, human error is automatically a horrendous monster who deserves to be shunned and put down? People seem to be going into things expecting the absolute worst of others. You can't see when someone is having a bad day through a screen. Call out awful people, do it, they deserve it, but before you jump on a bandwagon of hate and slander stop to think for one, painful little second about who you're speaking to (their age, for example) and what they've really done.

And, if you've sat and thought for that little second, and it hasn't hurt too much, and you've realised that it's none of your business and you do not know this person, what they've been through and what they are going through - or, better, you've clicked on their profile and discovered they are a thirteen year old child, and realised that you would never approach a random, stranger's child and try to angrily teach them while throwing your middle finger in their face - then maybe turn off your phone, or your computer, close your laptop, grab a sketchbook or a notebook or a book or whatever in this giant world tickles your fancy and go for a walk. Break that disconnection you form every single time you are online, and rethink your methods of educating, correcting, and choosing who you surround yourself with. Corporal punishment is frowned upon for a reason. It's cruel and does not work.

Forgive my rambling

[i-swear-its-only-ironical]

You know, it may be that the online mental health advice you think fits your situation still will not help you solve it.

Idk, I feel like this will be the time I start to be my own advisor.

1. I will not put myself into a position someone else is projecting on me, because I am not what others think of me or want me to be.

2. I am hurt, I am incredibly angry and shocked and I am in the right to be so, because this situation is stressing me out and my body currently responds in that way to regulate.

3. I will not let myself be shunned from social activities, I will not stop befriending people I think of as interesting.

4. I will not be overly protective of the boundary they asked me to take care of because: a. It's not mine, b. They try to draw their boundary into my personal space and life and this is not okay.

5. I will not assume what caused this situation to escalate and if they won't answer me what ticks them off, it is not beneficial for me or anyone to ruminate about it any longer. I cannot change what I do not know of. But I also will not assume that I am faultless, because I respect their view of the situation even if they're not emotionally mature enough to respect mine.

6. I try to not take it personally what they accuse my of as this is neither productive nor beneficial for the both of us. They want to hurt me, because they see someone else in me. I do not want to give them the satisfaction of being hurt longer than necessary for my own healing process.

7. I will not seek revenge, I will be happy for them having a social life and I will root for them to become better in the future so they will not hurt others the way they hurt me.

8. I am not a victim anymore. I will not think of myself as such. I am scared, but I will manage.

I am scared,

But I will manage.

[p5x-theories]

Any Halloween costume ideas for Wonder and The Other Phantom Thieves? Not including Cattle because I believe we decided on Cowboy for him though if you want to make alternative costume for him I won’t complain. :D

Oh, that's a fun question! Thinking about the silly costumes the Phantom Thieves had in P5D...

Wonder as a sorcerer (as a similar-but-different sort of costume to Joker's wizard one)

Motoha as a werewolf sort of fits her, to me? She can be excitable, and isn't afraid to jump into things for the people she cares about, which is kind of a dog vibe, haha

Shun as some kind of like horror movie killer (someone with a butcher knife- I'm imagining it's vaguely related to his chef interest after maybe Motoha or someone convinced him to dress up, so it's really a sort of "murderous chef" vibe?)

Seiji as like a fairytale prince, like the vibe of his All Out Attack finisher

Mont as a yuki-onna, for the snow - ice skating connection

Yukimi as a robot (both in reference to the sort of robotic appearance of her Persona, but also the sort of "defying her programming" of disagreeing with her mother)

Tomoko as a mermaid (as a reference to her Persona)

Kiyoshi as a vampire hunter, maybe specifically based on Abraham Van Helsing? I'm trying not to get too specific with these choices, but in his case I think that's sort of a fun mix of his interest in the paranormal, while not directly what he thinks is going on (psychic powers), mixed with the exorcist theme of his Metaverse outfit

Kayo as an angel, to contrast the possibly-spoiler information from the game files about her, and also to contrast the somewhat more disruptive/irresponsible vibe that I've seen gyaru characters tend to have in media?

Yaoling as a Jiangshi could work if the devs want to keep up a pattern of tying her more directly to Chinese culture, but I could also see her as maybe just going as a more stereotypical Western culture vampire otherwise (though maybe that would be strange if Kiyoshi's dressed as a vampire hunter? Perhaps a zombie instead?)

Leo being a superhero would be the obvious choice, but might be a little too close to his Metaverse outfit, so maybe something more like a space-age, retrofuturistic hero would work better here? Something sort of between Flash Gordon and Buzz Lightyear, maybe, haha.

[aeonophagic]

okay! Anon again

Going insane over vill-v and void dynamic? What do you think of them? What do you think would happen if they meet?

I feel like everything I could say about them has been summed up by ofhereternity who has written fics about them that I still feel insane about a year later. Also this art by Wervus.

I’ve written this fic about this exact hypothetical (but it’s old, and needs revision, esp. to space out the paragraphs… I don’t like reading things in a huge chunk like that and I bet others don’t either, so when I have time I’ll try to rework it a little).

so… to put it into words a year later… i think I still stand by Void archives breaking down after a fit of rage; OR being frozen not by fear not by anger but a secret third thing… where they’re boiling with so many negative feelings they just can’t get themselves to put into words in front of their mother.

Mommy issues are something incredibly complex especially combined not with daddy issues but the total absence of a father/second parent. Like that’s the formula for a hydrogen coughing bomb baby with so many issues.

You don’t want to blame your mother, because she is your mother and you can’t help but feel like you owe her, but you also can’t help but acknowledge how your emotional needs weren’t met. (This is still about Void Archives please bear with me…bear with me…)

So. Okay… If they met: lots of things to work through. I think she would be pleasantly surprised at the state of things though — she was right about them “not caring for the survival of humanity”, but that was changed by VA sticking around someone who does care! So she was also wrong. Had she and her friends nurtured them instead of shunning them, things may have turned out differently, without VA getting imprisoned and influenced by the exact kind of enemy Vill-V feared (someone who does not care about the survival of humanity: otto apocalypse. He did lots of good things for it, but in the end it wasn’t his priority.)

[impulsea]

In an alternative universe where Eric never enters in the picture/doesn't exists, do you think Triton would had found out soon or later about Ariel's grotto? And would had Ariel go to Ursula the same way she did in the film?

Hi friend! I definitely think, with or without Eric's involvement, King Triton would've discovered Ariel's Grotto- and this makes me uncomfortable even thinking about...but because Ariel couldn't trust anyone around her. She already had to be super mindful of who even knew about it, and the only person she willingly told was Flounder, who unintentionally spills everything the minute he gets anxious so he would've fumbled the bag at one point or another, just as he did in the reprimanding scene of the original film. Also, Sebastian was literally appointed to spy on Ariel by the King and discovers the Grotto almost instantly- and he, too, over-speaks during times of stress, as we see him being the one to tell King Triton that Ariel fell in love with a human. So, King Triton definitely would've found out, sadly, because the undersea world wasn't a place where Ariel could've actually had a sustainable hiding spot or a safe place- it's like trying to complete an obstacle course that's plagued by all those laser beams flashing through it and having to try to dodge them with every movement. You might be able to get away with it for a little bit, but sooner or later, you just can't fight against it and the end is inevitable.

However, regarding your second question, Ariel definitely never would've gone to Ursula the way she did in the film if King Triton hadn't messed up the way he did. Again, he invaded her personal space, told her he didn't accept her, and screamed at her. He then left her in a state of ruin before resolve could even be attempted. Even in this instance, Ariel didn't seek Ursula out herself- rather, the eels came to her, and she initially denied them. It's possible the eels would've come to her at a different time, had this opportunity not presented itself, but I doubt she would've gone through with it. When she first rejects the eels, her lines are: "Ursula- the sea witch? I couldn't possibly." Ursula is someone that's been "othered" and alienated as someone who can only live on the outskirts. No one wants anything to do with her and she's deemed as not being worthy of society or inclusion in any form. She's viewed as dangerous, a "demon" and a "monster" and Ariel's been socially conditioned in a way to not even allow herself to entertain the slightest possibility that she might pursue Ursula as a viable contact...but, didn't Triton really just do that to Ariel through her connection with humans? He barges in on her secret hiding space, berates her for saving a human, and deems them as monsters "incapable of any feeling" but Ariel, at this point, is already in love with a human and humans in general. She's seen them up close, interacted with one- she knows better. By Triton not accepting her connection with this world or his daughter, in turn, he's now pushed her into the role of an outsider just as he has with Ursula. Which, honestly, Ariel always was in the film- having to hide in her own part of the ocean, not telling her sisters anything, having to live her life in secret, but it's never been so apparent or violent or intrusive as it had been that night King Triton destroyed her belongings. Where was Ariel going to go to- a home that didn't accept her, to be around sisters that probably would've shunned her after what her Father told them? Ariel never fit into the spaces her Father created, but after that night, she probably felt a weird kinship with Ursula (she saw how wrong he was about humans- how aggressively, horribly wrong...maybe Ursula wouldn't be that bad? Besides it was the only person in Ariel's entire world that she could mildly have hope in after the events of that night) and that created the thread that led her to ultimately go out on a limb and take a chance through that specific avenue. If that never happened, though, I think Ariel would've gone through with the original plan she was voicing at the beginning of Under the Sea- she would've found out where Eric lived from Scuttle, swam up to his castle, and told him about what had happened. The thought is so dear to me, because as a child, I loved this snow globe above all others and the Ariel and Eric figurines are mostly the reason why. You have all the "normal" couples dancing along the stone floors, while leagues below them, Eric descends upon the cool night sea to embrace a little mermaid, her cold lower half unable to rise from her natural home, but her yearning heart and longing eyes warm with an everlasting love for him and every bit at home with him as his soul is with her.