#and she's totally allowed to feel hurt by Mike but she still hurt him too

[maxmayfieldirl]

I'm constantly thinking about how vastly different people treats how El was as a girlfriend vs Mike as a boyfriend

[mintartem]

Guitarhero thoughts because I need food for my ship: 🛡️🎸

1. Sinner!Adam hates himself, especially now that he is a lowly sinner. Everyone in the hotel are either passive-aggressive or totally agressive (Vaggie & Al) towards him while Charlie tries to be nice (but sometimes its just hard for her). Emily visits the hotel with Michael as her bodyguard. Michael sees Adam in the hotel but instead of reacting as Adam thought he would, disgusted and disappointed at him, Michael’s face and overall demeanor brighten. His eyes shone brightly and his lips curled in a genuine happy smile. that surprised Lucifer and made Emily giddy.

“No matter what form you take, you’re still so beautiful” said Michael with adoration and happiness in his voice.

2. Eden!Guitarhero where Michael at first was so reluctant to visit the garden considering they were told to only watch, not interact with it. But he was ordered to go in the garden and protect/watch over the creations instead of Lucifer. The first person Michael interacted with was Lilith and for some reason, Michael didn’t really clicked with her. But he ended up liking Adam instead. They fell in love with each other but this didn’t sit right with Heaven (they let them be because Michael isn’t really a bad influence).

3. Adam decided to retire as the leader of the exorcists early (maybe like 7 years or more before the show) to live with Michael and works as a florist/gardener and he’s now Michael’s husband *cough*malewife*cough*. Whenever Michael overworks himself, or he notices Michael is spending less and less time in their bed and more in his office, he is the one who grounds Michael and drags him to their room to cuddle and rest (“Angels like me do not need to rest, Adam” “I know, Mike”) maybe even more if Michael is really pent up. (Since I’m a sucker for “Sera is like Adam’s mom” fics, Adam asked Sera to give Michael a day off. Sera gave Michael 3 days off . “Only because Adam asked” she said)

4. Michael, Adam, and Emily, who is sort of like their child, visits Earth just to have fun at a Carnival. Adam knows that some games are rigged and told Michael about it. Much to Adam’s surprise, Michael agreed to “play the game these conmen are doing” (basically, “They’re cheating? Well, it’s only fair we do too”) What Emily doesn’t know wouldn’t hurt her now, would it?

5. Adam during his time on Earth prays for protection whenever he has to go out hunting and/or exploring. Michael secretly protects him like the guardian angel Adam knows he is. Adam cannot see Michael but he can feel his presence. He never forgets to thank Father and “his strong Guardian Angel” whenever he prays at night.

6. Alpha Michael x Omega Adam. Adam is in heat and needs his alpha. He took all of Michael’s clothes, especially his cape(?), and adds those to his nest. He touches himself begging for his alpha. Michael, on the other hand, is impatient and snappier. He wants to go home and get to his omega, darn it! The moment the meeting is over, he immediately created a portal home. Adam’s scent is all over their home. His omega is in heat! Michael decided that he will put off his work for the next three days. His omega needs him.

Only 1 servant at a time was allowed to visit their room to give them food and water… and a check-up in how they’re doing.

Well, that’s all I have in my head right now.

[princess-glassred]

Guys, what if I made a really angsty Reddie little mermaid au.

Richie is this mermaid who falls in love with Eddie Kaspbrak, a really sheltered and lonely prince that he saves from drowning. Richie becomes so desperate to just see him again he will do just about anything, which eventually drives him to meet with a cosmic creature that dwells under the ocean floor called "IT" to see if it will help him. Surprisingly, it agrees to give him legs, but only if Richie will give up the one thing that matters most to him... his voice.

With out his voice, Richie can never tell another joke, laugh, yell, quip, or do really anything that makes Richie Tozier Richie Tozier. But poor lovestruck little Richie agrees anyways, because he can't help but feel that Eddie needs some one to stand by and protect him on the surface.

After he washes up on shore with his new legs and wobbles over to the castle, the servants take pity on him and even introduce him to the Prince. Eddie doesn't recognize him at all and assumes he must be a mute cast away or something, but he still takes quite a liking to him, and even offers to let him live there while he teaches him sign language.

The two become very fast friends, especially since Eddie has never had a real friend before because his mother never allowed him to, the only reason Richie gets to stay is becaude she thinks he's disabled and thus "harmless". They both take great advantage of this and get into all sorts of fun mischief and hijinks with his mother not suspecting a thing. Neither of them have ever felt this happy before, and Richie feels like he has a real purpose now that he can make Eddie smile, even with out the use of his voice.

This happiness isn't meant to last though, as Sonia is such a controlling mother she wants to marry Eddie off to a princess that acts just like her. At first, Eddie refuses to marry Myra since he loves Richie, but Sonia oh so casually drops in conversation that Myras dad owns many ships and was out rescuing people the night Eddie almost drowned. He puts two and two together and now feels totally obligated to fake like he loves Myra and marry her.

Richie is utterly heartbroken, and to make matters worse, one night his old mermaid friends Bev, Ben, Stan, Mike, and Bill show up pleading for him to return home. They all went to IT and begged for a way to help Richie get his tail back, and when IT demanded they all give up something important in a ritual, they agreed. In exchange for all their sacrifices, they were given a small knife that Richie could use to kill Eddie and turn him back into a mermaid. However, If Richie doesn't do it in time though, he'll meet the same fate all mermaids have to face at some point and turn into sea foam.

Richie is horribly torn, he loved Eddie, in fact, he still loves him despite his marriage to another, but he misses his parents and friends and the sea so so badly he would do anything to go back. He can't hurt Eddie, but if he doesn't he'll die alone. But even if he does kill Eddie, what would that solve? He got into the mess by doing something reckless like give up his voice for legs, and now his friends had to give something up too, and it's all his fault. He's never had to worry about consequences as a mermaid, most mermaids don't, but now... now he doesn't know how he can live with himself.

In spite of his grief, he attends the big wedding Eddie and Myra have on her dad's ship, and manages to fake a big happy smile the whole time for Eddie's sake. He considers going through with the plan for a brief moment when Eddie and Myra walk into the captains cabin together after the party, but he just can't do it. He can't force himself to hurt Eddie even if he doesn't love him anymore, even if it means he'll die and never get to go back home. He just can't... so, instead of killing anyone with the knife, he bends down and uses it to carve R+E on the side of the boat. When he's done, he sits on the railing and lets himself fall forward into the water, where he sinks and dissolves into sea foam.

And while Richie sinks to his untimely end, a flurry of intense emotions begins to overwhelm him. At first, Richie feels kind of blissful, then he feels sad, then, he feels scared, and then... he feels nothing at all. And come the next morning, Eddie asks about a thousand people where Richie ran off to last night. Only noticing the carved intitials on the boat until it was far too late to make a difference....

[the-ferocious-kittyrose]

On a scale from 1 to 10 how messed up is your version of Michael? (How much stuff he is post scoop or if scoop doesn't happen how messed up he is mental)

Poor thing is a definite 10

TW: brief mention of self harm

He doesn’t get scooped in my AU, but he’s got the trauma to make up for it.

William spoiled him with toys and video games, but he totally missed the memo that parents are supposed to spend time with their kids.

He was also harsh and had stupidly high expectations. Mike could build the parthenon, and William would find something wrong with it.

But he never considered it abuse, and it took him a long time to accept that it was. He had friends who’s fathers would beat them black and blue, William never did that.

His mom left when he was eight. She was young and never really wanted kids, but William insisted that it was just what they were supposed to do. She loved her sons, but she wasn’t happy being a mom. She was addicted to Valium pills and one day just up and left with a man she had an affair with, leaving little Mike sobbing in the drive way.

She tried to write letters to Mike and Evan, but William always intercepted them before the boys could see them, leaving Mike to believe his mom had truly abandoned him.

Mike loved Evan. He teared up when baby Evan first squeezed his finger in his little baby fist. But things soured as they got older. Mike was jealous of Evan, and angry at the world. But he never meant for it to end the way it did.

He fell into a severe depression after Evan’s death. He wasn’t even allowed to go to the funeral. He couldn’t eat or sleep as the guilt ate away at him. He took to cutting himself. Partly as a form of self punishment, and partly just to feel something.

William couldn’t even stand to look at him. His abuse became worse and worse, and Mike couldn’t even be mad because he felt like he deserved it.

He watched from afar as William slowly lost his mind.

He snuck into William’s basement office once and was nauseous at the sight of the broken bloody Fredbear animatronic wrapped in Evan’s blanket and surrounded by toys and rotting cake. William found him, and it was the first time he ever beat him.

When the missing children incident happened, Mike didn’t know what to think. Half of him couldn’t believe it. Sure his dad was creepy, and he’d hurt him, but he had a reason to hurt him, he didn’t have a reason to hurt innocent kids. The other half of him accepted the truth. His father was a monster.

The time William was taken into police custody was the most stressful time of his life.

Eventually William was released due to insufficient evidence, he came home acting chipper like nothing was wrong and even looking at him made Mike sick to his stomach.

One day, Henry was at the house for dinner, and Mike found the courage to call William out on his phony behavior directly. Something in William snapped. He grabbed a knife and started chasing Mike, swinging the knife like a mad man, screaming that he wanted him dead. Mike ran outside while Henry wrestled the knife away from William.

Henry brought Mike back to his house and tried to comfort him as he sobbed, “he tried to kill me. Why’d he try to kill me?”

William showed up a few hours later, demanding to have Mike back. Mike listened to William and Henry screaming at each other as he hid in the bathroom, quietly sobbing and trembling.

They found Charlie’s body the next morning, and William went missing. Mike blamed himself, and he believed Henry must too.

He had gotten back into contact with his mother during the time William was in custody. It was awkward. He was relieved she had actually tried to contact him, but he was still mad at her for leaving, and after years apart, things just weren’t the same.

But she did offer to let him stay with her, and since he felt like a burden to Henry, he accepted.

Henry took his own life shortly after Mike left. Once again,he blamed himself.

For years afterwards, he tried hiding from everything. Desperately avoiding all the news stations and true crime “detectives” that wanted to interview him. He was done with Freddy’s, but Freddy’s wasn’t done with him.

“ITS ME”

“SAVE THEM”

He had consistent nightmares and “hallucinations” of the animatronics. The thought he was going crazy, but it felt way too real to all be in his head.

He moved back to Hurricane, applied for the night guard position under a fake name, and witnessed the haunted Animatronics first hand.

The pizzeria shuts down soon after, due to a lack of business and a strong stench of rot. The building was barricaded and the animatronics were dismantled.

He eventually reached out to the families of the missing children, telling them that the ghost stories were true and explaining what he saw. They deserved to know the truth, right?

Most of them wanted absolutely nothing to do whith him, which he understood. But a few, more open minded people seemed interested. Older siblings of the kids who had died. Some didn’t actually believe him and wanted proof he wasn’t bullshitting, others were just desperate for answers and closure. They agreed to meet at the shut down restaurant.

It was immediately more dangerous than Michael thought it would be, because the animatronics seemed to have reassembled themselves. He wanted everyone to get the hell out, but now that they knew Mike was telling the truth, they needed to investigate and find out what really happened.

While snooping around they found a sealed off room that reeked of death. They opened it and unknowingly freed stringtrap, the killer, William Afton.

But he wasn’t William Afton anymore. Years of tortuous pain, starvation, and isolation, had reduced him to a feral zombi like creature. Michael doesn’t know which is worse.

Springtrap attacked the group and every time Michael would throw himself in front of them and try to sacrifice himself for the others. He wasn’t always successful in helping them, as one of the group got his arm torn of and eaten by springtrap.

Eventually the group decided “fuck this place,” and started a fire to destroy it for good. The escaped just intime to watch the building be engulfed with flame, with springtrap inside.

Killing his father didn’t bring him joy or anguish or anything that he had expected. He didn’t really feel anything.

Mike grew close to the group, especially Danny, the foster sister of Cassidy. She was very iffy about him at first obviously, they all were, but she knew that none of what happened was actually his fault. She admitted to Mike that when she first started to warm up to him, she felt like she was betraying Cassidy, but after seeing how selfless and brave he could be, she thinks that Cassidy would’ve liked him.

Over time, the two of them developed a romantic relationship, and decide to fuck off to the other side of the country. They didn’t want anything to do with Freddie’s ever again.

They had a son named Evan (Gregory), and around the time he was 4-5, Freddy’s started, unfortunately, making a comeback. Evan asked if he could go, but his parents vehemently refused. They were a bit overprotective but they were also right.

One day Evan goes to Freddy’s without his parents’ knowledge and becomes the target for a William Afton copy cat killer. He escapes unharmed but it was still massively traumatizing, for him and his parents.

In the end, Michael is trying to move on and recover, and in some ways he has. He’s much happier as an adult than he ever was as a kid/teen. But the past keeps popping up again and again, threatening to destroy the new life he’s built.

[that-darn-clown]

boy oh boy i need to ramble about Rewrite!Willry because Christ it is literally insane. like this is a combination of toxic yaoi and complicated yaoi, JESUS-

so. we'll start from the beginning and work our way to The Fire:

so. of course we've gotta start with them Experimenting With Their Sexualities. because that's where it all started technically. sure, there were...feelings before, but y'know.

so y'know like that one meme of the two people lying in bed, but one is just chilling and smoking, while the other one looks like they're questioning their entire life up until this point? that was Henry and Will after they [REDACTED]. Henry's the chill guy, William is the guy who's questioning his life choices.

while Henry still has some Feelings for Will, he leaves the situation with more knowledge of himself (he is Pansexual) and is able to be normal about his still lingering feelings for his roommate. William, on the other hand, Also learned about himself (he's Bisexual) and is also being Normal about those Feelings (< he is not, in fact, normal about it).

they both go about their lives, getting married, having children, running their business together, everything's normal.

...well, except for the fact that William still clearly loved him and could Not be normal about that fact. in the 70s. but y'know.

then Claire dies...and things change. and not for the better.

Henry can tell that whatever Will's doing, it's hurting the kids. not physically, though: he never sees bruises or any signs of anything physical. not yelling at them either. all he knows is that whatever William's doing, it's bad.

but he doesn't really know what to do about it. William would get pissed off and deny any implication that he was hurting his children. but Henry also can't take Will's kids away from him, that would likely only make things worse, considering that the man just lost his fucking wife.

he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. the best he can do is try to comfort William and be a shoulder to cry on for the kids. it's why he never asks Mike if William allowed him to come over and stay the night; the answer is usually a no.

and...well, besides all of that, William practically clings to Henry, like he's scared he'll lose him too. Henry just assumes that it's anxiety born out of grief and not anything serious (Annabeth screaming into a pillow in the background).

when Anna and him finally divorce, William's behavior gets more...noticeable. like, enough so that Henry can't deny it anymore. but it's not like Henry can really do much to reciprocate these feelings (it is. the 80s).

Liz dies, and William decides that the Totally Normal response is to murder Henry's daughter. yep bestie, this isn't going to fuck up your relationship with Henry at all when he finds out (sarcasm).

well would you look at that, Henry Doesn't Seem To Like The Child Murder, William!! Especially When One Of Them Is His Own Kid!!

William, who has just kinda lost it a little at this point, doesn't fully get why Henry hates him so bad. sure, he killed Charlotte...but she was still here, technically!! she was even in a form he could talk to her in!!

we can now move onto Springtrap Era "Willry" (aka William is feral now, and Henry still hates him).

William becomes obsessed with this idea of "reuniting" his family in death. and that includes Sammy and Henry.

he hurts Michael when he comes to work at Fredbear's as a security guard, but it's not a deadly injury. Mike books it out of there and locks the door before William can get to him, but...it didn't just scar him physically. it scarred him mentally, too.

and Henry was fucking PISSED when he found out.

Fnaf 3 rolls around. look, we've heard the whole thing already of "Springtrap/Afton toying around with the player," i don't feel like i need to reiterate that here. but like...William's plan after getting to Sammy wasn't to kill him. not yet, anyway. it was to use him as a lure to get Henry to come to him. then he'd kill two birds with one stone. literally.

of course, that didn't work out...but the first fire clearly didn't kill him. he basically stalked everyone he once knew for two fucking years, including Henry. like, he wakes up in the morning, gets a cup of coffee, and then sees Springtrap staring at him through a window. and that's just kinda what his life was like between Fnaf 3 and 6.

then we get to Fire #2. and Henry stays behind as Michael runs.

the best way i can describe what happened afterward is a mix of mauling and what was basically a slow, torturous death. ending with William ripping the fucker's heart out.

even in the afterlife, William still calls out for Henry to help him. he also thinks Henry is trying to help HIM by trying to get Cassidy to move on. Henry's doing it more for Cassidy's sake than William's.

and there you go. William being Very Normal (< lie) about Henry in the Rewrite.

Mmmm a nice breakfast of toxic old man yaoi my favorite!!!!!!

[beepboop358]

Hi! I just finished to read your new slides and it working as free therapy still after s-4 lol also I was thinking about the vol-2 and I have two thoughts/question. I'm wondering if you can give me your opinion on this.

so 1. I have this crazy nonsense stupid theory about Mike telling Eleven he love her, and what if he just tell her all he thought she wanna hear because Will implicitly says is his duty as leader of the whole group do the right thing, no matter what it is he have to say ("whatever you didn't say" don't sound to me like "whatever you want to tell her"). For me Will only hurt himself to that pretty deep level so he could "heal" Mike and get him to do what Will thinks he always does. Save the day and all of them. Will pushed Mike to "confessing" Eleven his supposed love (also from Will perspective he believe all shitty Mike speech bc it's just the logical to him) and Mike did it because is that all them (Will) expected from him.

and 2. I was so fucking mad about the not-coming out scene, then I was thinking too (I don't wanna sound like an kinda devil's lawyer, I swear) the argument the cast (Noah) are using is Will is super young to coming out and that is bullshit. But I think, without guiding me by the character's age, Will is accepting (like explicitly lol) right now how he feels about Mike. We only saw Will feeling all this thing about Mike in a sadly and subtext way before s-4. It's stupid, I know. But this allow me has some hope. Also I don't think Jonathan gonna saying anything explicit to Will because he want Will tell him in his our terms when he's ready. In the vol-1 we see Steve being so supportive and don't outing Robin, I don't expect anything less from Jonathan.

Idk. I feel it's a pretty dumb argument, but is my argument to keep my mental health after all shitty ending they gave us. If any of this have any sense to you please tell me lol

hi!!

aw i’m glad you are enjoying the slides!! I hope they provide at least a little comfort to people in these distressing times :/

I agree with everything you said! Will pushes him to say all of that to El, and Mike only entertains it because she’s dying. El deserves better than that. And Will deserves better than his oldest friend saying that his life started after he. went. missing. If Mike doesn’t confess that everything he said to El was meant for Will in season 5 and his life started the day he met Will - which is the only loophole that makes that speech not a total slap in the face to both Will & El - then they should both drop him.

And I agree with your second point as well! That argument doesn’t hold up because it’s a TV SHOW. THAT’s the thing you want to be realistic about?!?! The show’s entire premise is unrealistic… it’s SCI FI FANTASY!! And if they want to make it so realistic, address the racism Lucas and Erica undoubtedly face in conservative America in the 80s as well then. They never even call Billy a racist, when he so clearly is, and then they try to give him a redeeming arc, so we were foolish to think they would address Will’s sexuality. They are skirting around having to address any real issues in the show. And the pacing is key!! You can’t pace a tv show the same as real life goes, you just can’t, so refusing to acknowledge it looks really bad for them!!

It’s not a foolish argument at all! This season was not it, and i’m not sure they realize that…ugh. Everything you said makes total sense!

I hope you’re well! xx

[lolaecheve]

Seeing comments on the Webtoon now that we're at the beginning of the end along the lines of "I'm remembering all the reasons I hate Mike" and "Mike's asshole arc begins"

And man, I'm gonna have to be the weirdo to defend Mike. But, like, only the beginning of his arc.

Thing is, I was sympathetic to Mike when this whole arc began. I understood what his problem with Lucy was. Lucy treated him badly - a lot. Sure, she also had moments to show she cared about him. But she also, again, treated him badly a lot.

And as a kid, when I first started reading the comic, I took it as face value standard tsundere stuff. Oh, Lucy is mean and rude to Mike, these two are competitive and rivals with each other, they argue a lot, but they have sweet and genuine moments together, so obviously by the laws of anime, they are totally super best friends who will fall in love.

Interestingly, reading the earlier chapters again via the Webtoon after all these years, those sweet and genuine moments... Don't feel as pronounced anymore. It could be cause I know how this goes. It could be cause of retcon tweaks for the redone version. Maybe it's because I'm an adult and know what toxic behavior is now. But, reading these chapters again, sure we have moments like Confrontation and Hot Pursuit, which are pivotal moments for Lucy and Mike... But there's just so many petty little exchanges between the two, most often instigated by Lucy, that it feels like those moments don't make up for it on the second go around. I don't have a feeling of "Oh man, it's so sad to see them so happy together only to know how badly it ends," I only have a feeling of, "Oh, so things were shitty from the start, man I totally forgot."

But anyway, moving on from the comic then vs now, we get to Mike finally getting fed up with Lucy's behavior. And I understood that back then. I was a Mike to a Lucy. I had a friend who was possessive and clingy over me, and treated me badly, and basically used be as a security blanket to feel better when no one else wanted to put up with her bad attitude. I eventually spent most of my time walking on eggshells around her and closing myself off from her.

So, when Mike started to distance himself from Lucy and became, just... done with her by the time December happened, I got it. Lucy did make her efforts to make things better or at least back to the way things used to be while working on their essay. Was she doing well at that? Would that have meant anything? People have a tendency to fall back into their old habits and not actually change when they say they will, so we can't be sure. But hey, in that moment, she understood things weren't okay, so maybe that could have been a start.

But it was too late for Mike. The relationship was beyond repair for him. You can argue that he took misguided advice from Sandy. She only knew some girl was hurting her boyfriend, and Mike idolized her to the point of letting that warp his view of Lucy. But, like... She literally gave him a bloody nose. She gave him injuries. That's not acceptable behavior, and if Mike wanted to break things off, he was 100% allowed for his own mental health. You're not obligated to be anyone's caretaker. Especially when you're a kid.

I mentioned being the Mike to a Lucy. Actually, two of them, one was less of an outright asshole but was still toxic in his own way. (No points for guessing they came from the same social circle.) When I broke things off with each of them, I kept things quick, matter of fact, and straightforward without going any attempt to make any hurtful actions. I explained to each of them why I didn't want to be friends with them anymore, why their actions had hurt me, and then I cut contact and left it at that. Blunt maybe, but I didn't do anything intentionally meant to be hurtful.

So, when Mike began to explain to Lucy all the ways she hurt him, I completely understood. But, uh...

You know. Then that part happened. And suddenly I wasn't so sympathetic to Mike anymore. Mike knew. Mike KNEW Lucy's insecurities and actively used them to HURT HER. Does that make him just as bad as Lucy or worse? Lucy genuinely seemed oblivious that what she was doing was harmful, Mike had no reason to say this except to dig a knife into her insecurities. Both are bad, I'm not excusing Lucy's behavior, but this just feels so much more planned and malicious, like Mike's pent up hatred drove him down to Lucy's level and below.

And then pretty much everything after that is Mike's own fault. He's exceedingly unsympathetic in how he's had SO MANY chances to learn from his mistakes and from the reactions of people around him to his actions, and he just hasn't. Even when he know it's a problem, and he just keeps giving in to that cycle. Sure, it's not an easy cycle for him to break out of, but it IS his responsibility to fix, and he has only taken steps backward so far.

So, in summary: Mike is still an asshole, but I felt the need to point out that him being an asshole at the very start was really just him finally getting tired of toxic behavior. The problem was him becoming toxic in turn and thus far failing to do anything about it.

[mangora]

mal for the character bingo

If you’ve been following me. Any time since I’ve gotten into TD, you know Mal is my all time favorite character there and maybe ever, not in terms of writing bc his writing sucks but just because he’s so…funky. Idk. It’s hard to collect all my thoughts from over the years but I wish he wasn’t just boiled down to “edgy stereotype” or “sexy emo boy” because they may be written that way at times, but they have so much potential. They are a prime example, albeit exaggerated, of how “evil” is a product of nurture over nature. Xe wanted to protect not just themselves but evidently Mike as well, but didn’t know properly how because, he’s still a fucking kid. If you grow up around nothing but violence and fog, you will be violence and fog. Mal inadvertently becomes what they hate trying to escape it, but for a totally different reason. They want to scare people away, and assert xemself as the most powerful in any situation. And if they were shown that not everyone wants to hurt him, and that some people can be trusted, and not all of life has to be pain and fear and anger, I could see their positive traits start to shine through. I want good things for xem. Sooooo much. Like, I have a whole old old ass post about that, but he and Zoey perfectly exemplify the positive caveats of a good vs evil theme. There is good in “evil”, and there’s evil in good. Mal is harmful but more or less selfless while Zoey is more benign but has more selfish reasons for the bad things she does do. It really makes you wonder who’s worse, because maybe Mal’s actions have a larger negative impact, but Zoey’s actions are dishonest at times. I dunno I just like him a lot, and Zoey. I think they balance each other out, and it would send a much better message if they were allowed to bounce off of each other in a more gray way, or if xe was allowed an arc and a shot at redemption. People like Mal don’t deserve to die, and they don’t have to entirely change, just rework harmful habits. And idk, I just feel like as much as Mal is a darker character, if written right they would be very hopeful too. And wow that was fucking long sorry I’m passionate. Heheheheh

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E2; Chapter Two, The Weirdo On Maple Street - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘠/𝘯, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯.

|| 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

"Ready are you? What knows you of ready?" Mike spoke in a voice that was supposed be Yoda's.

Mike had been showing her his room; he was now showing her all of his toys. El gave him strange looks at his unusual voice. He continues in his normal voice.

"His name is Yoda. He can use the Force to move things with his mind, like this." Mike then quickly shoves all of the toys off the table.

"Whoosh!"

Eleven looks around and all sorts of items she had never seen before on Mike's dresser. Mike, had now moved on to his favorite dinosaur toy.

"This is my dinosaur, Rory. Look, he has a speaker in his mouth so he can roar." He turns to show her, only to realize she was now by his dresser and was looking closely at everything in curiosity. He put down Rory and joined her.

Eleven took note of all the things before her; what appeared to be a shiny gold woman with wings and many other figurines like it that stood on wooden platforms.

"Oh, these are all my science fair trophies. We got first every year. Except for last year when we got third. Mr. Clarke said it was totally political."

El smiled at one of the trophies that read HAWKINS MIDDLE SCHOOL TEAM PROBLEM SOLVING CHAMPIONS, next to it a picture with five kids all holding a large trophy. El recognized everyone. She smiled when she saw the only friend of Mike's that offered to help her; Y/n. He was standing in the middle, one hand holding the trophy, the other one was behind a smiling boy, two of his fingers sticking up making it look like the other boy had bunny ears.

El's smile fell when it dawned on her that she recognized the boy. She gasped silently, her mouth agape. Mike took note of this and watched her carefully as she slowly brought her finger to the picture. Mike watched as finger landed on his missing friend.

He looked back at her in shock. "You know Will?" She didn't say anything, her mouth still open and a very concerned look on her face.

"Did you see him? Last night? On the road?"

Before she could say anything, the loud noise of halting vehicle broke the silence. Mike quickly ran to his window in a panic, his mom was pulling up the driveway.

He ran back over to El.

"We gotta go."

He grabs her hand, yanks open his bedroom door, and drags her down the steps. He halts at the landing of stairs, staring in horror as his mom is at the front door, closing it behind her. Her youngest, Holly was in her arms, and so was her groceries. Before she could see anything, Mike ran back upstairs with El, as quickly and quietly as possible.

Karen Wheeler stopped in her tracks when she thought she heard someone upstairs.

"Ted? Is that you?" She calls out.

"Just me mom!" Mike yelled out frantically as he ran through the hallway.

"Mike? What are you doing home?"

"One second!" He brought El back into his room and lead her to his closet, not before closing his bedroom door.

"In here. I'll be right back, okay?" Mike instructed, slightly out of breath.

El stood rooted in place, fear in her eyes.

But Mike was frantic. "Please, you have to get in, or my mom, she'll find you. Do you understand?" El only looked at the closet, then back at Mike.

"I won't tell her about you. I promise."

"Promise?" She asked, clearly confused.

"It means something that you can't break. Ever." He explained quickly.

"Michael?" Mike's mom could be heard from downstairs.

They both looked to the door, then back at each other. "Please?" Mike pleaded.

El looks between Mike and the closet, unsure before walking inside, and turning to Mike. He quickly closed the door and she began to back up further into the closet, panic setting in.

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

"Pop!"

Eleven struggles to break free from the men's hold as they carry her by her arms down, back into the room.

Sobs racked her body as she uses all her strength to turn and look back at Papa.

"Papa!" He steps out into the hallway and remains standing, doing nothing to help her, yet she still calls for him.

"Papa! No!" She screams her throat raw and her legs never stop kicking.

"Papa!"

They round the corner and at the end of the short hallway lays the dreaded room. The cold unwelcoming florescent light floods from the open door. Her resistance becomes stronger and more violent.

"No! No! No!"

Her screams become incoherent when the two men chuck her to the ground, she scrambles to feet in an attempt to stop the copper door from closing. Alas, she is too late for the steel door had slammed shut before her.

"Papa!" She yelled, slamming her palms against the cold copper.

"Papa!" She tries banging her fists, but to no avail.

"Papa! Papa! Papa!" Her screams turn to sobs.

"Papa."

She backs away from the door and retreats to the corner of the very small room where she tucked herself away. Her heart sinks to the floor with her, unable to do anything but curl up in a ball on the ice cold tile.

"Papa." She whimpers quietly.

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

Eleven backs up until her back hit the wall and she slides down till she is sitting on Mike's floor. She hugs her knees to her chest and allows her sobs to come.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"I just... I don't feel good." Mike was sat, hands folded together on his couch with his mother. He was giving her a false excuse of why he was at home during a school day.

"I woke up and my head, it really hurt bad, and my throat was all scratchy, and I wanted to tell you, but the last Tim's I told you I was sick you made me go to school anyway, and-"

"Michael."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not mad at you."

Mike was surprised to hear this from his mother.

"No?"

"No, of course not." She adjusted herself so that she was closer to her son, grabbed his hand in her's and sighed.

"All this that's been going on with Will, I can't imagine what it's been like for you."

Mike looks down to his lap, taking it in. No one had asked how he was doing with his best friend missing. It was hard. The whole party was worried. He never considered that and it was... refreshing to hear that his mother understood. He looked back at his mother as she continued.

"I just... I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. I'm here for you. Okay?"

He nods his head. They both look up when they hear a soft thud from upstairs.

"Is there someone else here?" She asks.

Michael considers what his mom just told him. "No."

"Huh. Weird. Hey by the way, did you do something to my plant out front? It looks amazing!"

"Oh, that? Um, well, no that was Y/n."

"Really? Wow! That's incredible, he needs to tell me his secret. I could really use his help! Say, speaking of Y/n," she nudged her son, a teasing smirk on her face. "Anything going on between you two? Do you like him? Does he like you?" She asked, getting more excited with each question.

Mike's face scrunched up. "Ugh! Mom! He's just a friend! He's, like... my brother! How many times do I have to say that?" He whines.

"You're right, you're right! I'm sorry, my bad." She throws her hands up in surrender. "It's just... you two would be so cute toge-"

Mike stands up from the couch quickly. "Mom!" He interrupts, then sighs. "Thank you for understanding and letting me stay home, it means a lot, really. But I should probably go upstairs now and lay down, okay? Okay. Bye."

He runs upstairs before she can respond, leaving her sitting on the couch, in confusion.

"...Okay," she says to no one in particular.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

Lucas, Dustin and I were biked to Mike's house to meet him there. Once we arrived, he quickly rushed us up to his room. El was sitting on Mike's bed, a blanket on her legs. I remain standing next to everyone else but I give El a smile and a wave. She timidly smiles and waves back.

"Are you out of your mind?" Lucas argued.

"Just listen to me." Mike began.

"You are out of your mind!"

"She knows about Will."

My head snaps up at the mention of him. "What?" I quickly look to El and then back at Mike, my eyes wide.

"What do you mean she knows about Will?" Dustin asks for me.

Mike took a few steps towards his dresser and picked up the picture of all five of us at the science fair.

"She pointed at him, at his picture. She knew he was missing. I could tell."

"You could tell?"

"Just think about it. Do you really think it was a coincidence that we found her on Mirkwood, the same place that Will disappeared?"

"That is weird." Dustin agreed.

I turned and slowly walked over to El, cautiously taking a seat next to her, but still giving her enough space. "Is that true?" I ask in a gentle whisper. She looked me in the eye and gulped, and ever so slightly nodded her head 'yes'.

I chuckle in disbelief and look at the boys hopefully.

"And she said bad people are after her. I think that maybe these bad people are the same ones who took Will."

"Guys, think about it. I think he's right. I think she might know what happened to him." I speak up, hope in my voice.

"Then why doesn't she tell us?"

"Well, maybe she's scared of you two!" I accuse.

"Why should she be scared? I'm tired of this." He walks straight over to her and starts raising his voice.

"Do you know where he is?"

"Lucas..." I warn, my hands subconsciously ball into a fist in anger.

Suddenly he grabs her by the shoulders, shaking her and begins yelling in her face. "Do you know where Will is?"

"LUCAS!" I bark. Standing up immediately, I rip his arms of her, she's cowering in fear. "Dammit man, get your hands off of her! And you wonder why she's scared," I scoffed, crossing my arms.

"She should be scared! If you know where he is, tell us!" She doesn't say anything and she bites her lip trying not to cry. "Lucas! Listen to me. I know you're scared and worried about Will, okay? We all are, but we have to be patient okay? She's scared, she's lost, she probably doesn't know who to trust, we just need to be kind to her alright?" I plead.

"Ya know what? No. There's no time. This is nuts. We have to take her to your mom." He says turning back to Mike.

"No! Eleven said telling any adult would put us in danger." Mike argues.

For the first time in a while, Dustin spoke up, his voice soft.

"What kind of danger?"

"Her name is Eleven?" Lucas asks.

"El for short." Mike corrected casually.

"Mike, what kind of danger?" Lucas pressed, his voice grew significantly louder.

"Danger danger," Mike yelled back.

I look around, breathing heavily as I take everything in. Mike puts his hand up to my brother's forehead in the shape of a gun. Then the same to Lucas. Lucas swats away Mike's hand almost immediately.

Lucas begins to panic. "No, no, no! We're going back to plan A. We're telling your mom."

I try to grab his arm as he stomps towards the door, but he shoves my hand away. He rips open the door, only for the door to be slammed shut all on it's own, making everything around the room shake. We all stare at the door in confusion. He tries it again, but the door continues to slam shut. Then, we all see the lock turn by itself.

'Okay, well... I know I didn't imagine that.'

Simultaneously, we all turn to El to find her standing, blood dripping from her nose giving Lucas quite possibly the sharpest glare I have ever seen.

"No." She states firmly. It's enough to send a chill down my spine.

It's silent for a few moments and I breathe out a shocked chuckle. "That... was the coolest thing I have ever seen."

[withcolebrock]

Lover of Mine- Chapter Thirteen

Lover of mine~5 seconds of summer

Masterlist

Warnings: suggestive language and swears I believe

Word Count: 2,207

Author’s Note: Things are starting to get a bit interesting with these two, finally. The next chapter is where most things start to kick off. But as of right now, dig a bit deeper into the friendship of Jake and Y/N. I do like this chapter and I hope you guys too and I’m sorry it is taking me so long, I have rewrote the ending of this chapter like a thousand times lol. This chapter may feel rushed from the previous chapter but this is a few months after her break up with Mike. Hopefully it will not be confusing.. Anywayssss This is my gif!

“No, that thing is gonna stab my eye out,” Jake groaned while gently pushing her hand away. Y/N sighed while she giggled, she turned her head towards the camera. She lifted her hand towards his eye again before Jake shoved her hand away again. “Isn’t my face fine without it?” he begged while he titled his head back, “My face itches.”

He reached his hand up as he attempted to scratch his skin, “No don’t!” she begged while she took his hand away, “You’ll ruin my work, plus we are almost done you can wait.” she smiled softly towards him while she shifted her gaze back towards the camera.

“Well, what am I supposed to do? It hurts,” he continued to whine. Before she had a chance to respond, her bedroom door was pushed open without warning. Colby stood in the doorway, staring towards Jake and herself.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t realize you were making a video,” He stuttered while he shifted his gaze towards the back of the camera; taking note how close Jake and Y/N were sitting. He pressed his lips together as he held shifty eye contact with Jake and Y/N. “What are you filming exactly?” He cleared his throat.

“Oh I saw Franny do it, she did all of her guy roommates makeup. I thought it was funny,” she explained while she turned her gaze strictly towards Colby. Jake turned his head away from them both as he scratched his skin in desperation.

“That’s cool, didn’t think you’d start with Jake though,” he joked while he tapped his fingers against the door. Y/N smilied awkwardly towards him while she tilted her head to the side. She shrugged her shoulders while she looked away from him.

“He was home, so I had just asked him, it was no big deal,” she explained awkwardly. He nodded. “But we are almost done filming, so if you-”

“Yeah, of course, uh. Yeah see you, yeah-” he shut the door before he could finish his sentence. Y/N and Jake looked towards each other nervously as they sat in a moment of awkwards silence.

She twisted off the mascara and held it towards his face. Jake hesitantly nodded while he stared towards the tube with his eyes slowly squinting. His face twisted slightly as he watched Y/N lean it close to his eye. “Blink slowly,” she instructed.

“Are you guys, like, okay?” Jake asked cautiously after he followed her instructions. He tilted his head back while she closed the mascara tube. She glanced towards the camera.

“You know, I can’t use any of this in the video right?” She avoided the question while she picked up a few of her lipsticks, trying to decide which color would be best for the look she decided.

“So what happened? You guys seemed fine last night,” he shrugged while he pointed towards the black lipstick.

“I’ll tell you later, can we finish this please?” she responded quickly while she raised her eyebrows. A small frustrated sigh leaves her lips while she pretends to hold the lipsticks up again for him to choose. Jake nodded while he took a long breath, to try and get more energy into his system.

“This one,” he said cheerfully while he pointed to the black lipstick. She smiled while she placed the red one down while she began to untwist the matte lipstick.

~~~

She threw away the paper plate while picking up her bottle of water from the counter while she walked towards the stairs, she glanced towards the backyard door. She saw Sam and Colby talking towards the camera Sam was holding. She shook her head, a quiet laugh leaves her lips as she walks up the stairs slowly.

She took a sip of her water bottle while she walked towards Jake’s open door. He was laying on his bed while he was scrolling through twitter on his computer. He lifts his head, seeing her standing in the doorway. “What’s going on with you and Colby?” Jake whispered while Y/N walked into his room. She shut the door behind herself, she sat down beside Jake on his bed.

“I don’t even know, Jake,” she sighed while rubbing her eye delicately while she pulled her lips in between her teeth. “We haven’t hung out in over a month because of Olivia,”

~~~

There were three knocks on her already open door, she pulled off her headphones while pausing the video she was editing. Colby stood in her doorway, glancing towards her bed. He quickly walked into the room. “I rescheduled that date with that girl from the other night,” he said simply.

Y/N held her breath briefly while she spun her chair around to face Colby. Her eyes squinted while she looked Colby up and down. “Okay, that’s good, right?” she whispered, her voice cracked slightly.

“I mean yeah, of course, but like do you think I should still go?” he asked while he rubbed his hands together nervously.

“Yeah, you like her so, why not?” she rushed out while she brushed a few pieces behind her hair. She looked into Colby’s eyes for a moment before turning away towards her computer screen.

“The date is tomorrow, I know it’s on movie night, but-”

“It’s just one night, Colby, go have fun,”

“Are you sure? I mean it’s only been a week since everything with Mike-”

~~~

“And it’s like ever since that night, he has only hung out with Olivia. Which I get it, that’s his girlfriend but you still need to make time for your friends. The whole movie night thing was made in high school so we wouldn’t forget each other when we got into relationships,” she sighs, “It sounds dumb when I explain it,”

“It’s not, I get it. He’s barely home anymore, can’t even make content with the guy. Can’t imagine how Sam feels, being in business with him and all,” he leans back on his hands while maintaining eye contact with her, “But it’s totally Olivia doing that though. She probably can’t be left alone longer than two hours,” he chuckles.

She joins in while shaking her head, “I don’t understand why people drop their friends all because of a relationship, he barely knows her,” she continued to rant to Jake.

“Have you talked to him about this?”

“He’s never home to even talk about it,” she leaned her head back groaning.

“Are you sure, this isn’t anything more?” Jake raised his eyebrow towards her, she huffed while rolling her eyes.

“Have you asked out that girl yet?” she switched the conversation. Jake rolled his eyes while laughing.

“Don’t turn this around on me, that is not fair,” he giggled. “You’re just jealous Colby is dating someone that is not you,” he smiled confidently.

“I still regret ever telling you that.”

They both sat in silence while thinking over everything. She realized that she doesn’t even go to Colby about her problems anymore ever since the night Mike and her broke up. It seemed like her life blew up in shambles and there isn’t a way to return to how she felt before everything happened.

Her eyes lit up as she hit Jake on his arm to grasp his attention. His mouth fell open as he reached over and held the spot where she hit him. “Oh stop that,” she giggled, “You ask out Tara on a date and I’ll talk to Colby about how I’m feeling.”

“Sure, whatever, but what am I supposed to say to Tara, anyway,” he asked.

She spent a while explaining and helping Jake out with what he should tell Tara. Y/N knew that Tara was head over heels for Jake. It took a while to convince him to finally call her. He gave Y/N a thumbs up and she walked out of the room, towards her own. She stopped for a moment to check to see who was sprinting up the stairs.

“Colby, what are you doing?” she asked while she leaned against her door. His head lifted up in shock while looking towards her. His lips curled up into a smile once he saw it was her. He pushed himself off of the final step while he walked towards her.

“I was actually looking for you, I need to talk to you,” he motioned towards her room. She nodded hesitantly while her skin arose in goosebumps. She pushed the door open, allowing Colby to walk into the room and relax down onto her bed.

“I needed to talk to you too, so perfect,” she smiled widely while she shut the door. She sat down on her desk chair. He smiled softly while he leaned back onto his arms.

“Do you have feelings for Jake?” he said out of nowhere. Her eyes widened while she stared towards him. At first she didn’t know if she misheard the words that fell from his lips.

“Sorry?” she asked leaning her body towards him slightly, her eyebrows raised while she maintained eye contact with him. His lips parted slightly as he looked away from her towards his lap.

“Do you have feelings for Jake?”

“No, why do you think that?” she shook her head while crossing her arms over her chest. He shrugged his shoulders while he rested his hands behind him and leaned his body back onto his hands. Her heart began to beat quickly as she watched him. The way his gaze lingered on her, the way his body looked. She forced herself to control her gaze.

“You guys are just hanging out a lot,” he said matter of factly. He let out a long sigh while he looked into her eyes.

“We are always home alone together, so of course we are going to hang out,”

“What do you mean? Sam and I are here like all of the time,” he protests. She didn’t know why he was set on the idea. “If you have feelings for Jake, just tell me,”

“I don’t have feelings for Jake!” she said a bit louder than she wanted. Her lips clasped together, “Everyone has someone in the house,” she started while avoiding his gaze, “Corey and Devyn, Sam and Katrina, You and Olivia, Jake and I were sort of forced to hang out together. Jake and I just needed someone to hang out with while everyone else was busy,” she explained. Colby nodded his head, “I mean now I won’t have anyone since he’s asking Tara out on a date,” she said.

Colby rolled his eyes, “You have me,” he whispered. She knew he meant it as a friend but the butterflies in her stomach started fluttering. Heat rushed to her cheeks as she thought about climbing on top of him and kissing his lips. It was something about the way he was looking at her, she wished she knew the way he was thinking. He lifted his hand and rubbed his chin while he leaned forward.

“You also have Olivia,” Y/N said, wishing she didn’t. He deflated slightly while he stood up from her bed, adjusting his shorts as he walked towards her. He pulled his lips between his teeth while he looked into her eyes.

“But you’ll always have me,” he whispered. She felt like she was being drawn to him like a magnet. Her mind was escalating as quickly as her body was. She was feeling a bit intoxicated the more she looked towards him, maybe now. Maybe now was the time. His phone vibrated consistently in his pocket, he shifted his gaze as he pulled his phone from his pocket. “Olivia, hey,” he spoke. He cleared his throat while he rolled his eyes at something she said. “Yeah, you can come over tomorrow.” His tone was annoyed.

She will never understand why he wanted to be with a girl like that. Sam mentioned Colby was not thinking with his head or heart when he decided to start dating her. Of course that was the reason, something she lacked. He put the phone back in his pocket while he lifted his gaze towards hers. “I’ve missed you, Colby,” her voice broke slightly while her eyes lowered to his lips. She was tired of hiding it. For a second it looked like he was leaning towards her, the tension in her stomach was filling. Her cheeks were flushed as she tapped her fingers on her desk beside her.

“Oh my god!” Jake shouted from outside of the room, he bursted through her bedroom door. Colby jolted out of his way, knocking into Y/N in the process. He muttered an apology as they looked towards Jake. “Tara said yes!” he said excitedly. Y/N walked towards Jake and gave him a hug and congratulated him while Colby stayed back. Looking towards Y/N, he wanted to kick Jake out of the room and kiss her but he couldn’t. He didn’t know how much longer he could pretend to like Olivia and not be completely in love with Y/N.

For a few long seconds his mind wandered and believed she felt the same way. The way she looked at him, she had to. He wanted to find out.

I know it'd be such a shame

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, so here we go!  Chapter 1 of “No Regrets”!  

There’s a few things I want to point out about this chapter, because both visually and textually, we get a lot of information about the Underground and Levi, and his relationship with Isabel and Furlan.  So I’ll just go through it.

The first thing that really caught my attention for this chapter was the opening page, which is a retrospective shot of Levi after he’s joined the SC, thinking about how he can’t ever know what the results of his choices are going to be.  He says here “I trusted in my own strength... I trusted in the decisions of comrades who had earned my faith...”  And this quote from Levi is really important in later understanding why he makes the choice he does, at the end.  He says he trusted in the decisions of comrades who had earned his faith, and that tells us that Levi believes in Furlan and Isabel, that he believes in their strength and their capability, that he believes in them enough to let them choose for themselves and trust in their judgement.  We’ll obviously delve more into this as it becomes more relevant to the story.  But moving on...

The next thing to catch my attention is the panels of the Underground we see.  These are probably the best shots of this place we get in the whole series, as it really depicts a place that is totally run down and dilapidated, with buildings falling apart and crumbling in disrepair, filth ridden streets with literal sewage water coming out of drain pipes, and a actual cave cover overhead, complete with stalactites, blocking out all sunlight except for few and far between pockets which break through holes in the rock ceiling.  The most telling panels though are the ones which depict the violence and poverty of the place.  We see a panel of a homeless man passed out on the street, painfully thin looking, and under him, two men in a fight, one beating the other violently.  And the next panel shows us a little girl, sitting barefoot on the ground between two men who have just blown each other’s brains out with guns.  Truly, this is a violent, dark, poverty-stricken place that breeds crime and depravation.  The pages before this say that BECAUSE of the splendor of the Capital city above the Underground, this place exists, and that’s accurate.  Because of the excesses and decadence of the rich and well off above these people rejected by society, that means fewer resources for the less fortunate.  It’s truly tragic.  

Alright, now I just want to move on to some small, but telling moments here while Levi and the others are being chased by Erwin and his crew.  

When Isabel is bragging about how the MP’s never learn, referring to how they’ll never be able to catch their gang, she asks Levi if what she said was cool.  Levi tells her “Don’t be stupid.”  This might seem like Levi just blowing her off, but the way I read it, it seems more to me like Levi is warning her not to be cocky, not to be over confident, because that’s the kind of thing that can get you killed, or caught.  Big Bro indeed!   We also see how mindful Levi is here as a leader, when he tells them they can’t afford to lead the soldiers following them straight to their hideout, and clearly they have a plan in place for just this sort of thing.

More importantly, Levi is fast to realize these aren’t ordinary soldiers after them, which shows his great instincts, but what’s really interesting is his internal thoughts here.  His logic is telling him regular MP’s wouldn’t work this hard to catch them, and that their skill with the ODM means they must be SC.  But Levi doesn’t really believe it which, given what we later find out about the deal with Lobov, and Lobov warning them of Erwin’s plans, tells us that Levi never really believed the SC would come after them.  He’s clearly surprised here.

Further, after informing Isabel and Furlan and confirming his suspicions, he tells Furlan that he’s got no intention of getting mixed up with “these guys”.  This tells us Levi never wanted to go through with Furlan’s plans, never wanted to join the SC, never wanted anything to do with any of it.  There’s further evidenced in this very chapter, which I’ll get to in a moment.  But it tells us a lot about the dubious feelings Levi had from the start, and how he probably would have simply been happiest to stay in the Underground with his friends, even though it was a hard life.  

Alright, so, this next part is a big deal, and it’s an overlooked detail which speaks volumes about the kind of person Levi is.  I didn’t even notice this the first time I read it, so I want to talk about it.  Levi separates from Isabel and Furlan, and takes Erwin and Mike on a wild chase through the back alley’s and narrow passages of the slums.  He really tries to give them the run around here, until he flips over a door, into another area.  What’s really important here is Levi’s dialog.  He says first “... Lost ‘em, huh?”  And then he says, “That got a little crazy...  I hope... none of them crashed.”  This is kind of amazing.  Levi is showing actual concern for the two soldiers who’d just attempted to catch him and his friends, who were doggedly pursuing them with obviously bad intentions of some kind.  And Levi, after having to resort to some serious ODM skills to shake them, says he hopes that none of them crashed.  He doesn’t want Erwin or Mike to get hurt, he just wants to get away from them.  Considering he doesn’t know either of them at this point, they’re just nameless, faceless military dogs trying to mess things up for him, that shows remarkable character.  

Of course, things go downhill from there, when Mike crashes through the door and tackles him.  All bets are off then, because Levi’s life is now in danger, and when that happens, he’ll resort to physical force.  Still, he only throws Mike off of him and once again attempts to get away, only for it to be Erwin who swoops down and cuts Levi’s cables.  This was actually really dangerous.  Given Levi’s momentum and position, he crashes hard into a nearby wall before falling to the ground.  So we already see some of that ruthlessness from Erwin here.  Of course, that spurs Levi into violence himself.  I have no doubt that when Levi lunges for Erwin and knocks his blade away, bringing his knife to his neck, he truly intended to kill him in that moment.  Levi’s compassion for these soldiers can only go so far, considering the desperation of his own circumstances.  If Mike hadn’t been there to stop it, I think Levi probably would have ripped Erwin’s jugular right out, and that would have been that, lol.  And then, it’s important to note too WHY Levi stops.  Not because Mike was able to physically restrain him, but because he tells Levi to look around himself, directing his attention to the fact that Furlan and Isabel have been caught.  That immediately stays Levi’s hand, and once again, we’re shown how Levi puts the wellbeing of his friends above himself.  He could have ditched Furlan and Isabel right then and there and escaped on his own.  Instead, he allows himself to be restrained and cuffed.  He refuses to abandon them.

Now the next scene is hugely important to a lot of stuff.

Erwin’s got Levi and his friends down on their knees, in the sewage, questioning them about their ODM skills, and the three of them stay silent, obviously defiant.  We really get a good look at Erwin’s abilities as a manipulator here.

He’s pulling the whole good cop/bad cop routine on Levi, when he tells him “I’d like to avoid any rough treatment if I can” before looking to Mike in a clear signal for Mike to pretty damn violently tear Levi’s head back by his hair before smashing his face into the sewage on the ground.  And this really IS sewage.  It’s not mud.  If you look at the panels, we see this brown muck coming out of drain pips attached to the surrounding buildings.  This water is probably, literally, dirty with feces, and Erwin has Mike put Levi’s face in this and hold it there.  Now let’s remember something important about Levi.  He’s a clean freak.  He obviously cares deeply about keeping both himself and his environment clean.  Erwin couldn’t know this about him at the time, but nobody of course would be happy about having their face shoved into literal shit.  But for Levi, I can only imagine this had to be tantamount to a kind of torture.  Erwin keeps questioning him, looking down at him without any kind of emotion, and Levi remains stubbornly silent, despite how awful this must truly be for him.  We get a close up of Levi’s eye in one of the panels, paralleled with Erwin’s own, and Levi’s expression really strikes me as one of awful humiliation.  He goes from looking up at Erwin in rage, to looking away, staring straight ahead, while Erwin keeps looking down at him.

Still, Levi says nothing, and it’s Isabel who finally cracks, telling Erwin that they didn’t learn to use ODM from anyone, with Furlan further explaining that they taught themselves as a means of survival.  He remarks that “anyone who doesn’t know what sewage tastes like couldn’t understand!”.  Clearly, both of them are really upset to see this being done to Levi, and I have to imagine it’s at least in part because they know how awful an experience this has to be for him, given that they know how much he desires to stay clean.  Their shocked expressions when Mike first pushes Levi’s face into the sewage says as much too.

But still, Levi remains silent as Erwin then demands to know Levi’s name.  What Mike does to Levi in the next panel is even worse.  He pushes his face into the sewage and holds him there until Levi literally starts to choke in it, for long enough that, when he finally does pull him up, Levi is gasping for breath.  I really don’t see people talk enough about this scene, but, well...

It’s a torture scene.  Erwin is ordering Mike to torture Levi here.  It may not be the most extreme form of torture, it isn’t the type of physical violence we typically think of when we think of torture, but that’s what it is.  It’s causing Levi both physical and mental degradation, as well as physical distress.  

Even with this though, Levi’s still silent and refuses to answer Erwin at all.  

It’s only when Erwin literally threatens the lives of Furlan and Isabel that he finally talks.  This is such an important detail.  Levi was willing to take what to him must have been truly horrific treatment, but as soon as Erwin gives the signal to the other two Scouts who have hold of his friends, we see Levi’s expression shift from defiant rage to wide eyed fear as they put their blades to Furlan’s and Isabel’s throats.  

Finally Levi talks, calling Erwin a “bastard”, to which Erwin simply asks him again what his name is, and after a slight hesitation, Levi finally gives it.  

I think this entire scene is vital in understanding WHY Levi was so violently pissed at Erwin, to the point of wanting to kill him.

I think it’s a combination of both the humiliation and torture he puts Levi through here, and, worse still, the fact that he threatens Isabel and Furlan’s lives.  Levi already feels looked down upon by Erwin here, he already feels humiliated and embarrassed and as though he’s being treated like he’s worthless, because Erwin IS treating him like that here.  All while Erwin stands there, expressionless, making statements like he doesn’t want to have to use any rough treatment, etc... while at the same time ordering Mike to do just that.  Already, Erwin is sending Levi the message that he’s a liar and a manipulator who thinks nothing of putting another human being’s face in shit.  And then, to top that off, he shows Levi that he’s willing to hurt, maybe even kill, his two friends to get what he wants.

Is it any wonder Levi hated Erwin as much as he did at the beginning?  After a lifetime in the Underground where, from the time of his birth, he had to deal with him and those he cares about being treated like worthless trash.  It would be a miracle if Levi DIDN’T want to kill Erwin at this point.  To have to then submit to him willingly, after all of that, must have been beyond humiliating for him.

Erwin continues to be manipulative here too, when after Levi gives his name, Erwin’s attitude suddenly shifts, and he smiles at Levi and gets down on one knee with him, in the filth, his entire demeanor seeming to shift into an abruptly friendly one as he offers his deal to Levi.  Again, that whole good cop/bad cop thing.  At the same time, he continues to threaten Levi by telling him if he refuses his offer, he’ll hand them all over to the MP’s and that, given their crimes, they shouldn’t expect to be treated with any kind of decency.  What’s kind of funny about this statement from Erwin is that up until now, Erwin and Mike have done anything but treat Levi decently. 

Okay, one more important point to make about this chapter, and it goes back to what I said earlier about Levi not wanting anything to do with the SC, and how that tells us Levi really didn’t want to go through with Furlan’s plans.

After Erwin makes his offer, we see Levi look over at Furlan, who’s giving him an intent look, and in the next panel, we see an almost surprised, or astonished look on Levi’s face, like he can’t believe Furlan is asking him to do this, before he grits his teeth in obvious frustration, and then accepts Erwin’s offer to join the SC.  What this tells us is that Levi only takes Erwin’s offer because Furlan wanted him to.  Because this was all part of Furlan’s plan, to go through with Lobov’s commission, to get caught by the SC, etc...  It’s clear Levi never wanted this, and he’s upset at having to do it.  But the fact he agrees after looking over at Furlan and seeing him implore Levi with his eyes tells us, once again, that Levi is willing to sacrifice his own desires for the desires of others.  That being his two friends.

For them, he’ll join the Survey Corps, even as every one of his instincts is probably screaming at him that this is a bad idea.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for the first chapter of “No Regrets”.  There’s a lot more to unpack in this manga than I think people realize.  I hope whoever took the time to read my long ass post found it at least a little worth while.  I’ll be moving on to chapter two next!

[nomtterwhere]

highly requested part two to this fic!!

a/n: this is...vey long, i literally just couldn’t stop writing. (it’s actually so long that i reached the limit of text blocks, so now there’s going to be a part 3 so stay tuned for that!) but i hope you guys liked it!! also, the way i wrote elle in this is nothing like how she is in the movie, she is nowhere near as mature as this lol.

summary: after your break up with marco, you head to the beach for the senior weekend, where you finally have to face him

word count: 5854

it had been two months since you broke up with marco and you still haven’t talked to him. he’s sent you text message after text message before you blocked him, not wanting to hear anything from him. at school, you avoided him in the halls, taking every possible out-of-the-way route. and when in classes you shared with him, you avoided the urge to even glance at him.

you could feel his gaze on you, though. it took everything in you not to take one look at the boy you once called your own, but you were determined to stay strong. and as soon as class was over, you made sure you were the first one out the door.

rachel acted as your guard during school, walking with you in the hall, helping you avoid both marco and elle. you stopped going to your locker. it’s not like you ever used it anyway, it had become more a spot for you and marco to talk between classes than anything else. now, it was just an ugly reminder of your ex.

outside of school, rachel kept inviting you out with her and lee but you declined everytime.

“rach, it’s okay. really.” you said to her one night after she invited you to a movie night with her and lee. “you don’t have to include me in everything you guys do. you deserve time with your boyfriend.”

“...okay.” she responded uneasily. “but you know you’re always welcome to hang out with us.”

you would take her up on her offer every once in a while, but made sure to give them space when they needed. instead, you started spending more time with your friends (that weren’t dating anyone) and tried to enjoy the rest of your senior year.

marco had come over twice that first week, but each time your mom, bless her, would cover for you.

“i know she’s here, could i please just talk to her?” marco pleaded.

your mom slightly shook her head as you watched from the top of the stairs. “marco, i don’t know what happened between you two, but i do know she doesn’t want to see you right now.”

that was the night of the ddr competition and after that, your mom had come upstairs and held you while you cried into her shoulder. even now, you still hadn’t told her that he had kissed elle, just that you had broken up. you told yourself you didn’t know why you couldn’t just tell her the truth, despite you always telling her everything.

but subconsciously, there was a part of you that wanted to get back together with him. and you knew that if your mom knew that he had cheated on you, there would be no chance of that happening.

but it’s two months later and while you weren’t totally over it, you were much better. you weren’t your relationship, and it took you a while to realize the breakup didn’t mean the end of you.

and now you found yourself getting ready for a senior weekend on the beach, any remains of the heartbroken girl you once were left behind you. there was no doubt you would run into marco there, considering the entire senior class was going, but you refused to dwell on that.

as you finished getting ready, your phone buzzed with a text message from your friend liz.

slowpoke much? hurry up, i’m ready to go!!

you laughed as you quickly typed out a reply, letting her know you would pick her up soon. you then unplugged your phone charger before throwing it inside your bag, then grabbed it and headed downstairs.

at the bottom of the stairs was a medium sized cooler and when you opened it, it was filled with mike’s hard bottles and white claws. you grinned and turned to your mom who was sitting at the dining table on her ipad and wrapped your arms around her shoulders.

“thank you, thank you, thank you!” you said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

she just let out a laugh. “now i bought it because i trust you. be safe, please.”

“i will, promise.” you gave her one last hug. “love you momma.”

“i love you too, baby. have fun!”

“see you sunday!” you called as you left the house.

you headed outside, giving a quick wave to your neighbor as you walked to your car.

she waved back and glanced at the cooler you dragged behind and the overnight bag over your shoulder. “senior weekend?”

you gave her a sheepish smile and nodded.

she winked, then glanced back at her house. she looked at you again and mimicked locking her lips and throwing away the key.

you laughed at the gesture, knowing her husband was a police officer.

you winked back at her. “thanks.”

after picking up liz, cora, and justine the four of you arrived at the beach, saying hi to your friends that had already arrived and checking into the motel room you had booked.

“okay, first things first.” you announced when your entered the room. “we are not letting anyone else in this room, okay? this is not going to be the room that gets trashed.” you stated and they nodded in agreement.

cora nodded to the cooler. “except that’s going to be the reason people will want to be in here.”

you gave her a grin. “and that’s exactly why it’s going in taylor’s room.”

“genius!” cora said, falling back onto her bed.

you laughed, taking out a few drinks and placing them in the minifridge for just the four of you. as soon as you stood up, justine made her way over it, pulling out a white claw.

“justine, it’s two pm.” cora said with a look.

justine cracked open the can and took a long drink. “and what about it?”

you laughed, heading out the door with the cooler. “i’ll be right back.”

you checked the text message taylor had sent you with his room number, realizing that you would have to go upstairs. you groaned, lifting the cooler with both hands, knowing you weren’t going to be able to roll it up the stairs.

you reached his door, knocking on it with your foot. putting down the cooler at this point seemed futile, considering you knew he would make you carry it inside.

except it wasn’t taylor that opened the door. instead, you were met with marco.

just your luck that they’re roommates.

he had been laughing at whoever was talking to him before he opened the door and the sound seemed to completely erase the past two months of healing you had been doing because suddenly all you wanted was to fall into his arms and let him hold you and laugh together and—

“y/n.” god, you forgot how great your name sounded coming from his mouth.

he smiled at you, then seemed to remember that you had spent the last eight weeks avoiding the hell out of him and cleared his throat.

“i, um,” you adjusted the cooler in your hands, raising it a little. “taylor said i could leave these here.”

“oh yeah, of course. here, let me get that.” he reached for the cooler, taking the handles from you and relieving you of the heavy weight.

“thanks.” you placed your hands in the pockets of your shorts, unsure of what else to do with them.

he stood there, still holding the cooler, but with none of the struggle you seemed to have.

of course, you thought as you tried to restrain yourself from glancing at his bare arms.

“look, y/n—” luckily for you, he was interrupted before he could finish his statement.

“y/n!” taylor said, entering the doorway. he looked down at the cooler marco was holding and his eyes widened at you. “did you bring this? you’re the best.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. “yes, i told you i was going to. have you been drinking already?”

“maybe like, a little bit.”

marco sighed, turning to you. “the answer is yes. since noon.”

“only like this much!” he holds his thumb and pointer finger out, only an inch of space between them. “okay, maybe a little bit more than that but jeez man, why you gotta be such a buzzkill!”

he turned his attention to you. “god, your ex is a real piece of work you know. i can see why you broke up with him.”

you laughed awkwardly. “yeah, okay taylor. um, i’m gonna go. you have fun, boys.”

you turned and walked away, ignoring marco calling out your name behind you. you entered your own room, immediately being hit in the face with a towel. after the initial shock factor wore off, you removed it from your face and saw your friends in their swimsuits, rubbing on sunscreen and grabbing things to bring to the beach.

“get in your swimsuit girl, we’re heading to the beach!” liz said, putting on sunglasses. “a bunch of people are down there already and i refuse to miss out on any moment.”

you laughed, throwing the towel back at them. “okay, okay!”

you removed your top and shorts, having worn your swimsuit underneath your clothes. you were putting them in your bag when you heard a whistle from the other side of the room.

justine lifted her own sunglasses to the top of her head. “damn, girl. where did you get that?”

your skin got warm at her comment. the swimsuit in question was normally out of your comfort zone, but for some reason when you had tried it on for the first time, you felt a surge of confidence.

it was a black one piece, but it was cut deep down the middle of your chest, cut out on the sides and the back, allowing for open space for your skin to show. and in front, there were two sections made of mesh. whoever said one pieces couldn’t be sexy clearly has never seen this one.

“holy shit, y/n. and i thought i looked hot.” liz added.

cora gave you a sly smile. “marco’s not going to know what hit him.”

you gave her a look. “please, this has nothing to do with marco.”

“oh, sure, of course not.” she says, walking towards you and leaning in and whispering, “but it never hurts to show them what they’re missing out on.”

you looked at her and pretended to think about it before giving your response. “okay, so maybe the swimsuit is a little bit about marco.”

the four of you burst into laughter before gathering the rest of your stuff and heading out the door. after making sure everyone had their key, you shut the door behind you and made the five minute walk to the beach.

for the most part it was just the seniors that had come for the weekend, but you saw a couple other groups of people spread out along the beach. the four of you found a clear spot a few feet from the lifeguard tower to put your towels down.

justine propped up the large umbrella she had dragged along with her from the motel along with her beach chair. she laid down in her chair underneath it, closing her eyes, and slipping her sunglasses onto her face.

“do you even plan on going in the water?” you asked her, spraying sunscreen onto your skin.

“nope. my plan today is to get his attention.” she nods to the lifeguard near us. “but i’ve gotta get my energy up first, so i’ll just be taking a nap if you need me.”

you just laughed, throwing your sunscreen bottle onto your towel and tucked your phone into your beach bag.

“i’m gonna stay and tan for a little so i can watch our stuff, don’t worry.” cora said as she watched you throw your sweatshirt over your bag.

you gave her a grateful smile before standing back up.

“looks like you’ve caught someone’s attention.” cora said, laying back on her towel, nodding her head behind her.

you looked up and saw marco, taylor, and and few more boys walking towards the beach, all of them talking excitedly to each other. except marco’s gaze was focused on one thing.

you.

you watched as his eyes scanned your body from top to bottom, his eyes stopping on the cut out parts of your swimsuit. you felt a small shiver course through your body at his actions. you knew you looked goof, but when marco looked at you like that... 

you couldn’t help but let your eyes drift as well. he was only in swim trunks, putting his upper body on display for all to see. as he got closer, his muscles only became more defined, his skin practically glowing underneath the sun.

“um, chile...anyways, so.” cora said, snapping you out of your reverie until you looked at her. “y’all are practically eye fucking each other, you know.”

you laughed at her, sparing one last glance at marco, only to see that his eyes were still on you. you looked away quickly before he could notice and turned back to cora.

“mission accomplished.”

she gave you a high five before you linked arms with liz and made your way to the shore, knowing you were giving marco a nice view of your backside as well.

as if liz could read your mind, she laughed and leaned in to whisper. “oh, you are bad.”

you moved in front of her, walking backwards towards the water. “who, me?” you feigned innocence.

she shook her head smiling, and then reached forward, pushing you backwards.

you hadn’t even realized you had reached the shore and when you fell back, you fell right into the ocean. you stood up laughing, pushing your hair out of your face.

“oh, you’re dead.” you say and liz squeals, jumping into the water herself.

the two of you join a group of your other friends, hanging out for a while before you head back.

when you get back to your station, cora is sitting up on her towel and the beach chair next to her is empty.

“where’s—?” cora cuts you off, pointing in one direction.

you follow where her finger is pointing and see justine talking to the lifeguard that was stationed a few feet away from us. good for her.

“well alright then.” you said with raised eyebrows and a proud smile before looking back at cora. “if you wanna head down, i can watch our stuff for a while. i’m pretty tired of being in the water, anyway.”

she smiled at you. “thanks!” she started towards the water before turning and taking off her sunglasses.

you held open your hands and she tossed them to you. you set her sunglasses down next to you and decided to take justine’s chair to sit in. it’s not like she was using it. you settled yourself in the chair, grateful for the shade the umbrella provided and pulled out your phone, put your earbuds in, and started scrolling through tik tok.

maybe an hour had passed when you felt a hand tapping on your shoulder. you quickly took out your earbuds, turning to whoever tapped you.

“oh, i’m so sorry, i didn’t...” your voice trailed off as you realized who it was that had tapped you.

elle evans.

“can we talk?” she asked.

she looked nervous. good. she should be! what kind of nerve does she have coming up to you after kissing you boyfriend on stage in front of thousands of people?

but before you could say any of this to her, she spoke again.

“i know you have no reason to speak to me and i understand that you probably hate me. i just, really want to explain.” she said.

you wanted to say no. you wanted to say no so badly and just stay mad at her. but even you couldn’t admit that your curiosity was getting the best of you.

so you just nodded, motioning for her to sit down on one of the towels.

she looked grateful, giving you a smile before taking a seat.

“look, i’m just going to get right to it. i know it was wrong, what i did. but i was hurt. i was angry. and marco had been so nice to me for so long and i thought noah was cheating on me so...” she trailed off so you finished her sentence.

“you cheated on him instead?”

elle looked at you, remorse in her eyes. “yeah.” she sighed. “i know, it’s all so stupid and i’m not proud of it, i want you to know that. but i was lucky enough that noah forgave me for that. and i know you haven’t forgiven marco.”

you swallowed, looking down.

“i wasn’t even thinking of you when i kissed marco and that’s on me. i am so, so sorry y/n. and i wish there was some way i could make it up to you.”

you sighed, looking her in the eye. “look, elle. thank you for apologizing to me. that’s great that noah forgave you, but that’s not something i can just overlook...it’s not just on you, it’s on him too.”

she let a moment of silence pass between you.

“you know he would always talk about you during our practices?”

your gaze had drifted back to the ocean but went back to her when she spoke again. “what?”

“he felt so guilty every time he had to cancel on you. and maybe i should’ve taken that as a sign as to what i was doing, but i didn’t. and for that i apologize too. but with the way he talked about you, i really didn’t think anything i could do would ruin what you had.

“i guess that was pretty ignorant of me.” she laughed a little. “y/n, he loves you. he really does. and i get it, the kiss was completely out of line and you don’t owe him or me anything. but if you think for a second that marco would ever choose me over you, you’re wrong.”

you didn’t say anything in response to that. what exactly were you supposed to say?

and when elle realized you weren’t going to respond, she sighed. “of course, i can’t change your mind and i don’t know how you feel. all i ask if that you talk to him. he misses you.” and with that, she got up and left without another word.

you laid back in your chair, putting your earbuds back in and turning on some music. you thought about what elle said, and you appreciated her coming to talk to you, but it still didn’t erase what marco had done.

but at the same time...

had he really been talking about you to her? did he really feel sorry about the canceled dates? because to you, it always felt like he was choosing her over you.

maybe elle was right, maybe you should just talk to him.

you groaned, closing your eyes. i thought this weekend was supposed to be fun and stress free, you thought.

you reopened your eyes and saw liz and justine standing over you.

“what was elle doing over here?” liz immediately said.

you loved how protective your friends were and smiled at them, making sure they knew it was nothing they had to worry about.

“it’s okay guys, she just wanted to talk.”

“about what?” justine was giving a nasty look in elle’s general direction.

“actually, she apologized.” you said and both of their head snapped to you.

“apologizes, huh?” justine said.

“yeah. but i don’t wanna talk about that right now, let’s just relax, yeah?” you said, trying to distract them.

they obviously wanted to talk about it but your distaste for the subject must have been clear on your face because they backed off.

“if you insist. but you have to get out of my chair first.” justine said with a smile.

you laughed, grabbed your phone and got up from the chair to sit on your towel. “how did it go with the lifeguard?”

“well, i got his snap and a date with him tonight, so you tell me.” justine said, laying back on her chair.

“you have to teach me how to do that.” liz said, sitting down on the towel beside her.

later that night, justine was off on her date with the lifeguard but the rest of the seniors were out on the beach, having a bonfire.

you, cora, and liz were in your room, getting ready to head out onto the beach when you heard something topple over.

you jumped, looking over your shoulder at the hair straightener that liz had dropped.

“oops.” she giggled.

“shit, liz.” cora said, picking it up and decided to finish liz’s hair for her. “are you drunk already?”

“honestly, i haven’t been sober since four pm today.” she admitted.

you shook your head, strapping on your sandals before standing. “why am i not surprised.”

cora looked up from liz’s hair and grinned. “i love the outfit. very cute.”

you looked at yourself in the mirror. you were wearing a spaghetti strap lavender crop top with black cotton shorts and gold sandals. you smiled at yourself.

“yeah, i think so.” you turned to cora. “thank you.”

“i think you look hot.” liz said with a funny smile.

“of course you do.” you said, slipping your phone into your pocket.

you stayed in the room until cora finished straightening liz’s hair and then you all went down to the bonfire together.

you headed straight for the cooler that stood on the outskirts of the large group, grabbing a white claw. there was music playing, and everyone was either dancing with one another or just hanging out by the fire.

you took a seat on one of the logs surrounding the fire, not in too much a partying mood for tonight.

“mind if i sit here?”

you didn’t need to look up to know it was marco who had asked but you did anyway, and made eye contact with the boy in question.

you shrugged, but didn’t say anything.

that seemed good enough for him because he took a seat next to you, leaving space between you. not enough apparently because you could still smell his cologne, the scent making its way into your senses.

marco fiddled with the drink in his hand, obviously thinking. you recognized the habit as one he did whenever he needed to get something off his chest.

“whatever it is, you can just say it.” you say.

he looked over at you and then looked back at his drink. “elle told me she talked to you.”

“yeah. she did.” you looked at him, but he was still looking at his drink.

“and from what she’s told me, sounds like i was living rent free in your mind.” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“you were. you are.” he said back, except he was 100% serious.

he finally looked up and met your eyes. “you’re all i think about.”

at that moment, you heard a scream and looked over to see one of the boys had tossed cora over his shoulder, carrying her to the water as our classmates cheered him on.

“can we...go on a walk or something? just find somewhere quiet to talk?” marco asked you over the commotion.

you knew you wouldn’t be able to avoid talking to him any longer, and quite frankly, you didn’t want to. so you nodded, standing up alongside him, finishing off the last of your drink before tossing the can in a garbage bag by one of the logs.

marco did the same and the two of you started walking away from the bonfire.

“you might wanna take your sandals off, it might make walking a little easier.” he said to you and you shot him a look.

“i think i’ll be fine, thank you very much.”

you regretted your decision as soon as you took that first step but you were determined not to say anything. but with every step you took, you could feel sand getting into your sandals and finally you groaned in defeat.

“hang on.” you said and bent down, unbuckling them and then slipping them off your feet.

you gathered your sandals in your hand and continued walking, feeling the sand moving beneath your feet.

“that’s better.” you said.

you looked over at marco when you realized he was laughing.

“and what exactly is so funny? don’t forget you’re already in hot water with me.” you raised an eyebrow.

“just reminds me of when we went to the beach earlier this year and i told you to bring a blanket, a sweatshirt, anything really, because it was going to get cold.”

you rolled your eyes at the memory. “right, and i didn’t. but only because i really didn’t think anything of the weather.”

“nuh uh, i believe your exact words were, ‘i do what i want.’” he raised an eyebrow at you.

“and what is your point exactly?” you laughed.

“well considering you spent the rest of the day in my hoodie and huddled under my blanket, mi amor, my point is that you can be extremely stubborn.” he laughed, before he realized what he said.

your heart clenched at the nickname, missing it already. but it reminded you of why you were out here with him in the first place.

“why did you kiss her?” you asked, quietly.

he paused and you inhaled, holding your breath in fear of his response.

“i could stand here and say i don’t know, but that would be a lie. i think...i think it was because a part of me thought i was already losing you.”

you stopped. “wait, what?” you looked at him. “why?”

he shrugged. “we never really talked about college and what would happen after graduation. i kind of assumed you would want to break up. and when i had rehearsals with elle, it didn’t seem to bother you that much, even when i had to cancel dates. i mean, until you said something at the competition, i didn’t realize how you felt about the whole thing. i thought it was because you were, i don’t know, getting tired of me.”

he may have had a point. despite your initial feelings towards him spending all of his time with elle, you never really expressed that to him. he would tell you he had to miss a date and you always responded with, “that’s okay, maybe next time.”

“so, at the competition, when elle kissed me, it felt like i had nothing to lose. but i’m an idiot. i don’t even like her. and when i saw you,” he looked at you, his voice thick with emotion. “i realized how much i screwed up. i couldn’t believe that i had hurt you like that.”

“marco.” you were standing in front of him now. “i need you to realize that every canceled date resulted in me calling rachel to scream my head off about the lack of time we were spending together. but i wasn’t about to tell you to not help her, i wasn’t going to be that girlfriend.

“i do realize that i could have said something sooner, though . elle had mentioned how you were upset about the dates we missed as well.” you glared at him. “but that doesn’t excuse you kissing her on live television!”

he shook his head. “no i know, i know. and it’s not an excuse, it’s just how i felt. what i did, no matter the reason, was wrong. and i am so, so sorry y/n. i never should have kissed her, and i regret it more than anything. i regret losing you.”

you turned your back to him, afraid you were going to start crying and you didn’t want him to see.

you had been avoiding him for so long for this very reason. you didn’t want to hear an apology. you didn’t want to forgive him.

but hearing him apologize and regret what he did made you question why you didn’t want to hear it. while your heart wasn’t completely full once again, heating those words did something to you. it made you feel...heard.

both elle and marco took the initiative to come to you even after you making it clear that you refused to speak to either of them for the past two months. despite what they did, that says a lot about their character.

“y/n?” marco called from behind you.

you took a deep breath before turning to face him once again.

“i forgive you.”

marco looked shocked. “i—thank you.”

“and i’m sorry for ignoring you and refusing to even give you the chance to apologize. i just,” you shrugged. “wasn’t ready.”

he nodded, gazing at you intently. “i completely understand. what i did...” he swallowed. “you were hurt. you were angry. hell, i would be too.”

“yeah, well. that hurt and anger didn’t do anything for me. but you and elle talking to me did. so thank you.”

“i had to let you know how i was sorry. i couldn’t let you go thinking there was anyone in this world i would rather be with than you.” he said, and when you looked in his eyes, you could see he was sincere.

“marco.” you breathed, realizing how close the two of you were.

one of his arms slipped around your waist and you let him pull you even closer. your breaths mingled as your lips were only centimeters apart and you felt your eyelids start to flutter shut.

“tell me to stop and i will.” he whispered to you.

every pulse in your body was screaming at you to just let him kiss you, to fall into his arms and be his again. but in your brain, there that one rational part that was telling you to stop this now.

damn your rationale.

but you knew it was right. you were both running high on emotions, whatever you did now, you weren’t sure you wouldn’t regret it tomorrow. so you tilted your head down, grabbing onto his forearms.

“i can’t.” you managed to croak out.

he exhaled, his mouth by your ear now so you felt the rush of air against your skin.

“i want to, believe me. but right now i just, i can’t.”

he nodded. “you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

you wrapped your arms around his waists in a hug and rested your head against his chest. marco hesitates for a moment, making sure you weren’t going to pull away before hugging you back. his chin rested on the top of your head and the familiar embrace filled you with warmth.

“can we just talk?” you mumbled into his shirt.

he chuckled lightly. “of course. whatever you want.”

so you did. the two of you sat on the sand and talked. about elle, the ddr competition, what you forgiving him meant. but you also talked about the past two months. college acceptances, last minute applications, applying for scholarships, any accomplishments, everything. you talked and talked until you ended up falling asleep on the beach.

you slowly blinked your eyes open as you felt the sunlight hit them. you sat up and looked to your side where marco was still dozed off. you looked at him with a small smile, you had missed seeing him in such a peaceful state. you remembered the times he had woken up before you whenever he slept over at your house, opening your eyes to see his brown eyes gazing down at you lovingly. it was rare that you ever woke up before him, so this sight was a rare one.

his was lying on his back and you could see his chest gently rise and fall with every breath he took. at some point his shirt had come unbuttoned and the wind blew it back against the sand, exposing his chest. you rolled your eyes at yourself, compelling yourself not to even think about it. you traveled your gaze up to his face and saw the relaxed expression. the emotion from early last night was no longer there, he was just...marco.

in all honesty, you probably could have spent the rest of the morning waiting for him to wake up. but you weren’t 100% sure what your reaction would be to seeing him in the morning for the first time in a while. so, you brushed a few of the curls on his forehead back into place, then leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before getting up and walking back to the motel.

you entered your room as quietly as you could. a quick look at your phone let you know it was nine am and you were unsure of whether or not your friends were hungover.

however, as soon as you entered the room, you were met with cora pouncing on you.

“she’s back!” she yelled as your other two roommates groaned in response.

“what?” liz mumbled from underneath a pillow.

“okay, spill. where were you all night?” cora demanded.

“oh, please. like we don’t all know the answer.” justine sat up on her bed and gave you a teasing smile. “with marcoooo!” she singsonged, making kissy faces at you.

you rolled your eyes. “okay, it wasn’t like that.”

“wait, so you were with marco?” cora gasped. “and on the beach? you dirty dog.”

“why is everyone yelling?” liz grumbled, pressing the pillow against her head tighter.

you couldn’t but laugh at what cora was implying. “yes, i was with marco, but we just talked! honestly. it was nice.”

“you just talked all night? huh. i’m not buyin’ it. you?” cora turned to justine.

she shook her head. “nope. liz?”

“absolutely not.” her muffled voice came.

you scoffed. “well, i don’t care what you think happened. because i’m telling you nothing happened.”

“okay, say we believed you. what did you talk about?” justine said.

you shrugged, taking a seat on your bed and tossing your sandals to the ground. “everything. i mean, we haven’t talked in two months, we had some stuff to unpack.”

“are you guys getting back together...?” liz asked, peeking her head out from beneath the pillow.

the other two watched you intently, waiting for your response and you laughed.

“right now? no. i don’t know. all i know is we talked, fell asleep on the beach, and it was nice. that’s all.” you said. “i missed talking to him.”

“so what happens now?” cora asked you.

“i’m not sure. but i feel a lot better about whatever does happen now.” you say confidently.

with that final statement, your friends drop the subject. you didn’t want to think to much about this anymore. last night was great but you were determined to make the most of the last two days of this beach trip.

the marco situation would have to wait.

taglist: @mayakblack @devilishdior @write-from-the-heart @shherlxck @minnyvees @lover1307 @sonnyalice @caro1115 @sandovalali12 @yongboxerrr

keep an eye out for part three (which will be the final part) and if you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask! requests are always open!

[wingz-of-shit]

Adorable abnormal

This one shot was inspired by this post by @free-pancakes

Summary: This is how the survey corps reacts to Hange being five after one of her experimentation went wrong :) 

2k words

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CLANK! BOOM! FIIZZZZZ

It had been precisely twenty-seconds since Levi heard the blast coming from the other side of the building. If he had no idea what had been going on before, the way in which people were going gave him enough evidence to know it was coming from the devil’s lab. What the fuck did you do again? There were at least five people that were hurrying to the lab with him, among them, Erwin. 

« What happened? » he asked the blond-haired man. He had an obvious scowl on his face, Erwin spent the entire morning dealing with taxes and expenses… nothing could make him happy, while anything would irritate him. 

« I don’t know Levi. I don’t know. » 

They reached the corridor leading to the lab, it was filled with an overwhelming smell of burn and… something Levi didn’t even want to think about such it was abhorrent. Erwin entered the lab first, he deadpanned at the scene. 

« Erwin? »

Levi peeked his head inside being careful to breathe with his mouth, whatever had Erwin so astonished had to be abnormal. Abnormal. It was the perfect word for it. Levi was staring at a cloud of dark smoke that engulfed Moblit and… and a child. 

« What the fuck? » Levi mumbled while getting closer to Hange’s right arm. Moblit was curled around the kid protectively, whatever fluid had exploded must have been toxic. 

« What happened here? » Erwin asked while pushing the rest of the curious gazes away from the door. After closing it, the Commander came to kneel in front of the kid… kids weren’t allowed here. Why would there be a kid? Levi kept wondering how the kid came to be here, deep down he had a feeling he knew exactly who that kid was. 

« Berner. What happened? » 

For a second Levi thought Moblit would faint, but he quickly composed to talk to Erwin. « Commander… I … I’m not entirely sure. But… Hange-San, she experimented, and then, BAM, and smoke, lot of smoke.. » 

« Did that exposition blow your brain too? » Erwin darted a glance at him « What? You understood something? » Erwin sat Moblit on a chair while keeping an eye on the kid. Suddenly that very kid launched herself at Levi which provoked a gasp from the people in the room.

« Levi!!!!! » 

Levi stared at the squirt that was crawling up his leg with big brown eyes. For a second he allowed his gaze to linger on the figure. It couldn’t be? But yet… the brown eyes, the wide grin, the messy hair… even the same damn glasses. Could it be she has a kid? « Levi! Levi! Hold Hange on shoulders!!» *gasp *

« Moblit would you care to explain, please! » The vein on Erwin’s temple grew larger. 

« Well… Hange-san was trying to find a formula to make titan less aggressive. It somehow made sense given the plants she put in that potion. But then she added some kind of powder… Neither Nifa nor I saw what it was but it just went … BOOM! And next thing there was a huge vapor in the room, we could barely breathe. When it dissipated a bit we saw Ha - … what we think is Hange- San sitting in her place. I mean, the potion obviously took her back to a certain age. It has to be her. »

It was her, Levi could tell. No kid had ever reeked so badly. 

There was a knock on the door. Eren peeked his head inside and with all the subtlety that distinguished him and he ran to Hange. « Captain!!!! Is that Hange San? What happened!» 

« Shut up. » Eren dropped his eyes at the sound of his frigid tone. Surprisingly, when Levi looked down, Hange was still clinging to his leg. « Levi! Shut up! » She repeated happily. He groaned but lifted the kid nevertheless. She’s cute. 

« Berner do you know how we can fix this? » Erwin asked while he took a closer at Hange’s face. Suddenly Levi saw something change in Erwin’s eyes, there had been annoyance and weariness, now there were… stars, awe? 

« Aw, she’s so cute! She hasn’t changed!! Look at these chubby cheeks! » He kneeled to level her. « Hello Hangeee, do you remember what happened to you?? » Levi felt his lunch gather in the back of his throat… he’d never seen Erwin so sickeningly sweet. 

« Erwin!!! » Hange beamed extending her tiny arms to him. He gathered her in his arms. « Erwin!! Shut up!! » Time stopped for a second, if Levi knew how to laugh he would have, instead a weird sound that reminded him of a dying titan came out of his throat. The shock on Erwin’s face would be forever carved in his memory. « Erwin big eyebrows!! » 

In a matter of seconds, Erwin had left the lab obviously vexed, Hange was standing confused in the middle of the room with Jäger and Berner holding back laughs. « Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come grains of truth.» 

After some time Levi decided he had to go to town to gather ingredients that would bring Hange back to her normal form. Hopefully, it would take the confusion away from him. For the past hour, he’d followed Hange around the entire building, scared she’d hurt herself. He’d never cared for kids before. With a deep breath, he entered the drugstore Hange was so fond of. He gave one last thought at the 104th kids whom he had entrusted Hange with. 

* Eren and Mikasa *

« What?!! Why me? » Eren pleaded the rest of the crew when they all left running away from the room the Captain had just left. He looked back and forth between the kid and Mikasa.

« Do you honestly think that its squad leader Hange here? » Mikasa asked while sitting on the couch near the kid. 

« Well, Moblit said it was. And so did Captain. » Eren groaned and dropped heavily on the other side of the kid. « Did you ever babysit? » Mikasa shook her head. « No. Can’t be that hard, right? » Eren thought for a second. « It’s Hange-San we’re talking about here. » 

After a few minutes, Hange asked the two teenagers to play, it had to happen at some point. So they led the five-year-old to the training grounds, they’d find entertaining things here.

« Look over there, behind this wall, there are giant titans which you usually love Hange San! » Eren smiled at the sun brightening the sky - and Mikasa’s smile -  « We always go out to fight them, and you are always getting in dangerous situations but you’re very good at coming out of them safely! » He turned around to look at the five-year-old

… gone. « Hange-San? » 

« HANGE SAAAAN! MIKASA! We have to find her!! Captain will kill us! » They both began to search around, on second throughs, the training grounds had been the worst idea. There were weapons, thunder spears, 3DMG… He gaped at the park, people were flying around, cutting fake titan’s neck… 

From afar he saw a small figure getting its head cut clean by a younger recruit. Eren fell to his knees sobbing. « Mikasa… what have we done. We’re doomed. We killed Hange-San. » 

Mikasa scowled at him and hit his head. « Are you dumb? This is a fake titan marionette Eren.» 

They kept searching for the next ten minutes until they met with a soldier who said saw a small kid running toward the wall. The wall. Of course. They hurried there to find Hange digging the foot of the wall with her small hands. It shouldn’t have been shocking, yet both Eren and Mikasa stood stunned at the sight.

« I wanted to see titans. » She wailed as they carried her back to the SC building.

* Jean and Armin*

« Why us? » Did Jäger want to get on his nerves? He had other things than to care for a small kid, no matter if it was his superior or not. « We made our shift. Your turn. » 

Jean stared at the small kid climbing on Armin’s lap. The sight wasn’t surprising at all. Armin had always admired Hange-San, he treated her with so much respect it was suspicious. But there, with the roles reversed, it totally made sense. The blond grinned brightly at the small brunette who was trying to push the hair off his forehead. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. 

He went to sit beside the pair and stared at the squad leader. « She’s so cute. » He said before he could hold it back. The girl shot daggers at him. « I am not cute! I am Titan!! Can we play titan? » It didn’t surprise any of them. 

They stood and went into the garden. Hange San stood on the bench as if it would make her look taller. « Armin is Levi! And Jean is the Titan! »

« Levi? » 

« Humanity’s strongest!! And you have to save me! And Jean is the bad guy! » 

The two boys exchanged a knowing look, maybe they could get information out of this tiny version of their superior… they’d always been wondering what was going on. Jean crouched in front of her. « Hange, if you answer one question I will be the best scary titan for you. » She titled her head expectantly. « Why would humanity’s strongest save you? Why not… the Commander or… Mister Berner? » 

« Because Levi will be my husband when I am tall!!! » Both boys nearly choked at the words. Had they… heard well? « Wait what? » Jean replied.

« That’s two questions. You said one. Bad titan now. » Damn, as smart as ever. 

« Hange, if I ask you one question again, I’m taking my 3DMG to be just like Captain Levi. » She nodded eagerly. 

« Does Levi want to be your husband too when you’re tall? » Hange grinned sheepishly, her cheeks reddened.

 « Yes! Short stack is Hange’s boyfriend! … Let’s play now! »

* Nanaba and Mike*

« It had to happen at some point. » Mike said as Nanaba lifted Hange on her hip. All of Jäger’s friends had kept an eye on her, they’d come to them frantically and exhausted claiming that there was no way someone could muster this much energy. Mike took a look at his supposed friend. 

« What did she even do to end up like this? » Nanaba gave the girl a glass of water.

« Don’t know… Moblit said it was a failed experiment. I hope we can get her back to her normal form. » He didn’t like the idea of people changing forms like this, it was unnatural… but then again titans existed too, so why not age-reversing potions. Mike relieved Nanaba from the weight and placed Hange on his shoulders.

« Whoaaa! I’m as high as titans! » 

He chuckled. « Last time she said this was because she smoked a blunt. » Nanaba slapped him on the shoulder.

« What? This is still Hange. I’m sure if you hand her booze now she’ll happily have it. » 

Apparently not interested in joking, Nanaba went through the books on the shelves to read a story. There were funnier things to do with a kid than read a story. « Hey, Hange, what do you want to do? » 

« Can we mess with big eyebrows? » It took Mike a second to understand she was talking of Erwin. « Did… I hear that rightly? » Apparently yes, because in a matter of seconds Hange explained a destructive plan on how they would piss the commander of the survey corps off. In any normal situation, Mike would have refused but he had a good cover… a five-year-old Hange. This could explain anything...

« So… you want to … command tons of candies with the survey corp’s funds…? » Nanaba asked again, unsure. « Yes! And then Erwin will be really angry! It’ll be fun! » 

« We sure don’t have the same perception of fun. » The blond woman looked up at him. « We can’t do that Mike. You know we can’t. » Hmpf responsibilities. 

« Okay how about instead we put mud in Levi’s room? Is that good enough for you? » The smirk that spread on Hange’s face terrified him just as much as it amused him.

*Levi *

He held the handles of the bags tighter. For some reason, Levi was frightened to go back to the SC building. He left Hange almost all afternoon with immature teenagers, this couldn’t be good. 

He pushed the door of the mess hall open, the sight that welcomed him was beyond was he had imagined. Everyone was slumped on the tables, seemingly exhausted, or almost snoring. Erwin was drowsing, his head barely supported by his hand, Mike was facing him, muttering.. curses maybe? His eyes lingered on everyone until they fell upon small Hange. She was braiding Historia’s hair with frightful focus.

« What the hell is going on here? » 

Nanaba answered him. « She… she killed us. How is she not sleeping yet? She’s a monster.» Levi approached the said monster.

« Hey there four eyes. » 

Her eyes lighted up when her eyes fell on him. She muttered his name in a whisper, holding her arms out to him. He lifted her and walked to Moblit who had… paint on his face… gross. «Here, got all you wanted for the potion. » Hange laid her head against his shoulder, he wondered then how all of them ever considered her a monster. 

« I’ll put her to sleep. » 

« Yeah yeah, we all tried, good luck. » 

"I'll scare her to sleep then." 

Levi left the mess hall to Hange’s room, it couldn’t be hard to put her to sleep, she was drowsing on hi… drooling, she was drooling on his shoulder already. He tucked her in bed with a care that surprised himself.

« Levi, stay? » she murmured when he turned the light off. « Mh, no? »

« Please? Nightmares… » 

Tch. He sighed and sat on the bed beside her, she curled up against him and fell asleep right away. We all tried they said. Morons.  

…

The first rays of light woke him up. Had he? Slept? He found himself being very warm and unusually well-rested. Hange. Right, he had to help Moblit about Hange. He inclined his head to the subject that was spreading so much warmth and nearly gasped when he saw a full-grown Hange resting her head on his shoulder. 

Her breathing was soft, her face as smooth as that five-year-old that had terrified the entire survey corps the day before. 

Glad you’re back four eyes.

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yeah so this was my very first Levihan one shot, thanks @free-pancakes for the support! 

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Lets Make Our Own Christmas Story

Summary- 3k Mike (Me) x You. Christmas time is here and you are all set to throw your party. Mike might also have a surprise that will make it the best Christmas of all. 

Dividers made by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- Smut. Puppy walking in on that moment. 

A/N- YEAH I KNOW. I swear this is the last one. Cross my heart. I have been doing this little tiny piece since forever, so Im not holding onto it for a whole year. 

Series Masterlist

You woke up to feel Mike pressing behind you, nuzzling the back of your neck with the bristles on his chin and his hand massaging your belly. You hid a sleepy smile in the pillow for just a moment, feeling him rock his hips against your back side. His heavy erection grinding into you. 

“G’Mornin” His voice raspy in your ear, nipping just below your lobe. “It’s your day off isn’t it?” 

You wriggled back into him a bit to make him groan, which he did while dropping his head into the crook of your neck momentarily before going back to teasing along your neck and shoulders once more. 

“It is, which means… I should be sleeping in Mike and not being woken at six thirty in the morning.” You peeked at the bedside clock. Mike chuckled while his hand dipped between your thighs, doing lazy rubs on your folds to make you widen your legs more. 

“We could sleep afterwards? Go to breakfast, take Max down to that park by Scott's place?” He offered as he let his fingers coat in your slick, dragging it up to your clit and circled, lightly pressing down. 

Your head lifted to see where Max was exactly, and the pup was sitting at the end of the bed having heard the two of you waking up, tilting his head to look at the two of you. “Mike…” You shivered a bit, your muscles tightening with desire. 

“What Sweetheart?” He went harder, feeling you start to melt into his touch. 

“M-max is watching.” 

“So? He ain't hurting nothing.” His mouth fondled the curve, biting slightly to tease and you rocked into his fingers. 

“I don’t know, it's just weird? Can you just put him in the living room until we're done?” You whined a bit and Mike huffed a bit before pulling his fingers away.  

“Be right back.” He pushed off the bed and the puppy started wagging his tail excitedly when Mike scooped him up to tuck him under his arm. When Mike left, you rolled out of bed and ran to the bathroom to mess your hair into a sexy bedhead instead of a snarl hot mess, at the same time shoving a toothbrush in your mouth real quick. 

Heading down the hallway, Mike petted the wriggling pups head. “Okay buddy, just give me like an hour okay? Then I promise a walk where you can piss on every fire hydrant between here and the park. All the damn cookies you can cram in that cute mouth of yours. Just do me this solid, m’kay?” He set Max down and he wagged his tail again, drifting away from Mike heading towards his food and water dish. For good measure, Mike tossed a scoop of food in the bowl, which Max set upon enthusiastically. “Perfect, eat and go take a nap.” Sure that the puppy was occupied for a bit, he hurried back down the hallway to find you lounging back in bed, in which Mike bounced back in his spot, pulling you back in against him. “Ahh, now where were we Pretty Girl?” he paused a moment, taking in your appearance and catching a whiff of toothpaste, making him grin. "Cleaned up for me? I'm flattered. Wait, you want me to go brush my teeth right quick?" He made a move to get off the bed but you pulled him back down. 

"No, You started this, let's finish it." You took his hand before it could travel back down to tease you and sucked his fingertips, swirling your tongue around them and you could see those sharp blues widen, his pupils taking over. Pulling off with a pop you wriggle your ass against him once more. “You really going to take me to breakfast?” you asked with mock innocence and Mike snorted, his knee pressing between your thighs and spreading them till your leg hiked over his to hold you open. 

“Yea, yea… after this.” His wet fingers massaged a breast, plucking at your nipple while he reached between you two and circled his cock to run along your slit and press against your entrance which drew out a lewd moan while he stretched you. 

“Mmhh, this is almost as good.” You whimpered out as he pinched your nipple slightly while burying himself in you. “Okay better…” You clenched around him while he started making shallow thrusts into you. 

“Fuck this is way better.” Mike nibbled on your shoulder and rested a hand on your hip to hold you in place while he rutted behind you, the more you squeezed around him, the harder he would move. 

A moan escaped you in that early morning love making, making a grab for his hand and pulling it up to cover a breast which he started palming harshly while flushing kisses along your neck and at the hinge of your jaw. Twists of fingers started pulling on your nipples, making you wither against Mike as the pinches excited you. 

“Mmmh I know you love when I play with you like this.” Another twisted pull made your chest heave. After a few moments he went to the other, teasing all while he kept fucking you from behind, pausing every now and then to give a dirty grind. 

You both are caught up in the moment, Mike rolling you to your stomach to pin you underneath him, his hands covering yours and weaving fingers together, thighs caging yours. Its all a but sloppy, but you don’t care at this point with how good he felt pushing into you at this angle. Then the bedroom door creaked open and there was an pitter patter of feet. 

“Shit-” Mike groaned against your neck, knowing that Max just barged in on them. The puppy sat on the floor by the bed and started barking to get there attention. “Max quiet!” Mike said urgently, knowing earlier you were uneasy with him being in the room. 

You arched back into Mike's chest pressing you into the bed, hissing out. “Just ignore him, keep going.” 

“That's what I said before.” He groaned above you as he angled himself, having found your sweet spot that made you start squeezing around him and begging him to keep going. 

“I know what I said Mike… Fuck right there, I’m so close.” Your noises going from mewls in need to cries as that spiral of pleasure started to tighten in a threat to snap. Max’s barks started to turn into howls as both you and Mike slammed into each other, your orgasm making your walls lock around Mike's cock, and he rocked harshly into you with stuttering jerking hips till he shot his load into you and sunk over you in his own bliss. “Max hush!” Mike said louder and dropped a hand over the edge of the bed to ruffle Max’s ears and thankfully that distracted the puppy to quiet him. 

You whined under Mike a bit, twisting a bit to get comfy. “You gotta ease up a little bit Mike…” In which Mike pulled out and eased back a bit, allowing you to turn under him and run your hands along his back. “You know you are better than an alarm clock. Thanks for waiting till my day off for that though. I would have been late.” You chuckled softly, your fingers sliding up and down his back, twirling patterns across the muscles. 

Mike scooped Max up onto the bed, where he wriggled in between the two of you, flopped on his back so you could tickle his belly. “Did you forget to close the door?” You teased Mike who shrugged while pushing up to sit, going to grab some clothes from the dresser. 

“I was a bit distracted to think about closing the door. Besides, he didn't see anything, did you Bubba?” He grinned as he yanked his boxers on and Max thumped his tail hearing Mike. You nuzzled Max one last time and got up to get dressed too. “So we're still on for breakfast and the park?” 

“Sure but I gotta be back tonight to prep food for the party tonight.” You hummed while snapping your bra on and going into the bathroom to finish your routine. 

Mike stalled a minute while buckling his belt. “That's tonight?” 

“Mike, please don't tell me you forgot about it?” You looked out the bathroom door with a doubtful look and your boyfriend flashed a good natured grin. 

“Nah Baby, I got a mind like a steel trap.” He winked at you and you rolled your eyes before disappearing back into the bathroom. 

"You totally forgot." You retorted and Mike winked at Max while whispering. 

"That's what she thinks." He tickled under the pup's chin. 

It was later that evening, you had food spread on the counter, Mallory had come over early to help prep. Which was more her supervising and gossiping. You were sure to keep her supplied with plenty of sex on the beach drinks. 

"So… what do you think Mike got you this year?" Mallory asked with a knowing smirk. You side eyed her while fixing a veggie platter up, placing a bowl of dip in the middle and setting it on the counter. 

"No clue, but seeing you grin, I'm sure you do." 

Mallory huffed, going all dramatic on you with a flutter of her hand to her chest and dropping her lips into a o at the accusation. "I know no such thing." 

"Yea You do, but it's a surprise. So I don't want any hints Mal." You stressed and she rolled her eyes. 

"You take all the fun out of it Y/N" she scowled. "Well what did you get for him?"

You grinned, excited to get to reveal your surprise. "Okay, you know how much of an action buff he is?" 

Mallory tsked. "I do. Action just loses the dramatic and romance in writing though, I just don't understand…" 

You cut her off before she could continue. "I found an authentic Bruce Willis signed Die Hard poster. I had a few places take a look at it. Then had it framed. I'm going to wrap it up and hang it on the wall Christmas Day before he wakes up." 

Mallory nodded with a chuckle. "Damn, he is going to go ballistic." 

"I know! I can't wait." 

You heard the apartment door opening as well as several voices, so you dropped the conversation, going back to spiking some hot chocolate in the crock pot with peppermint schnapps and putting the lid back on when Mike, Scott, Scott’s boyfriend Neil, Samson and Lyle barged into the apartment, loaded with packages and case of beer, bottles of wine and a excited Max bouncing up and down around on his leash. You went into immediate hostess mode, directing where the presents went under the tree, beers in a cooler, and the wine opened to breathe. 

“Mmh, looks good Babe.” Mike wrapped an arm around you, looking over the spread of food on the counter, reaching to grab a cookie and snapped a bite of it between his teeth. “I can't believe you got all this put together, we weren't gone that long.” 

“I had help. Mallory was here early.” You grinned and Mallory held up her drink in acknowledgment. 

“I will have you know Mikey that I kept her right on track the whole time.” 

He snorted in disbelief and grabbed the vodka bottle to top off Mallorys glass as she held it out towards him. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” 

“Y/N, reign your boyfriend in please. If I wanted to be insulted I would be at the theater.” She stuck her tongue out at him and he mimicked her. 

“He can't be controlled, you know that. You've known him longer then I have.” 

Mallory hopped off the stool with a playful roll of her eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

“Love you to Mal.” Mike piped up while she flipped him off, going over to where the others were arguing who had the biggest present. Scott and Neill wandered over, Max flipped baby style in Scott’s arms, soaking up the attention. 

 “Scott is ready to claim Max as our child and take him home.” Neill grinned while pressing a kiss to Scott’s shoulder. Scott made a whimpering noise and whined out a bit. 

“Well look how cute he is, You love Uncle Scott and Neill, right?” Max wriggled in his arms and tackled Scott until he set him down where Max greeted his people, leaning his paws on your knee in a stand begging for a treat. 

“I have never seen you get all soft for a dog Scott.” Mike arched a brow and you leaned down to rub on Max’s face, wiggling your nose back at him. 

“He’s adorable, how could anyone not fall in love with him? And I'm sure Uncle Scott and Uncle Neil will be happy to have him come stay with them.” 

Mike grinned a bit, sharing a look with his best friend who winked back at him. “Oh you know Y/N, anytime, any day. Spoil and give him back right? I can teach him some manners too.” 

Neill tipped his head in a laugh and Mike had the dignity to look insulted. “Manners? He's got manners. Max Boy, come over here Bubba.” He beckoned the puppy, who happily followed him. Mike clapped his hands a moment to excite him, then dropped his hands for Max to put his front paws in and dance around the room for a few moments. 

Afterward they all gathered around the kitchen counter, snacking on food and talking about upcoming projects they all had going on, debating on when the next bowling tournament was going to take place. You and Mallory started mixing stronger drinks for yourselves, giggling together while snapping pictures with everyone. 

Mike watched you from the corner of his eye while you dragged Scott away from the group to dance ridiculously to Santa Baby and finally you crashed on the couch, cuddling with Max for a few moments to cool off when Mike excused himself from the others. Falling on the couch next to you, his arm going around your shoulder and he pressed his lips against your temple. 

“Having a good time Babe?” 

You happily nod and cuddle in closer, buzzed a bit from the alcohol and happy having your loved ones with you. “It's a great Christmas party, reminds me of the ones I had at home this time of year with my siblings and friends.” 

Mike let his fingers brush through your hair a bit, arching a brow. “They were like this gang?” The two of you watched the group shoot popcorn at one another, Samson loudly vocalizing how to properly catch popcorn, Lyle was just shoving handfuls in his mouth, Mallory attempting to prove Samson wrong by flicking them at him as he directed, and Neill effectively shooting them into Scott’s mouth, proving there was more then one method. 

“Pretty close. My brother is a professional beer pong player. I used to have the title though.” You bragged a bit and Mike laughed. 

“Well how would you like to get the title back? Granted if you beat me that is.” He wiggled a brow and you peeked up at him curiously. 

“Oh bring it on, as soon as I save the money for a trip, it's on Mister.” 

Mike leaned a bit to reach in his back pocket and pulled out two tickets to hand to you. “How about we go sooner rather than later Y/N?” 

You snatched the tickets, looking at the dates. They were for the day after Christmas all the way till after the New Years. Tickets to Boston. Your fingers clutched at the tickets and swallowed a bit to keep the knot of surprise down. “You mean it… were going to go see my family?” You twisted in your seat, holding the tickets at your chest. 

“You haven't been home in years Baby, I know you miss them. I already talked to the Head Nurse to give you the time off and I can bring my laptop to work on my script once in a while. I’m almost finished with it, I might be able to get it done before we leave.” 

It all sunk in what he was saying and you gave a squeal of excitement, launching yourself into Mike's lap and clutching his face to kiss him fiercely in excitement, babbling. “Baby I don't even know how to thank you. I don't need anything else, this is perfect. Thank you so much, I love it, I love you.” 

Mike just listened while rubbing your back as you let it all spill out, Mallory coming up behind the couch and leaning against it so she was level with you two leaning over it. “I see you finally told her you guys are going to Boston. Mikey, I know what you're gonna gettttt…” You reach over and cover Mallorys mouth. 

“Don't you dare spill it Mal!” 

Mallory jerked back with a wicked grin. Mike was always one to take the bait and he pinned you in his lap. “What? Come on Mallory, drop a hint because Y/N has been holding out on me.” 

She winked at the two of you while sipping from her drink. “You’re gonna get lucky Mike, that's what you are gonna get for Christmas.” 

You snorted, relieved Mallory didn't spoil your surprise. Giving a shrug, you nodded. “She's not wrong Mike.” 

Mike seemed to contemplate what you two were saying when he suddenly bellowed out. “Parties over! Everyone get out.” Which you smacked his chest and shook your head when the group suddenly went quiet in surprise. 

“He's kidding, guys!” you call out and they turn back to snacking and talking at the counter. 

Mike pulled you in closer, nipping at your earlobe and whispering to you. “No I’m not, I want my Christmas gift now.” 

“Mmmh, Later, I promise.” you rub his chest and place a sweet kiss on his lips before moving to a stand and pulling him up with you to rejoin the others. “We can make our own Christmas Story.”

[90slevi]

Arguments {Levi Ackerman x Reader}

TW: strong language

"What the hell do you mean?" you exclaimed, holding the sheet of paper in your hands in front of Hanji. She grimaced with a shrug, scratching the back of her head. "He's taken me off the expedition list?"

It was currently 6pm, and the sun was beginning to set; although you'd only planned to meet Hanji for a few minutes before dinner, it'd turned into a little more than just that. You'd just received the list of people going on the expedition in a week, and despite being on Levi's Squad, you'd been completely removed from the list. Instead of your name being alongside Petra, Oluo, Eld and Gunther, you were nowhere. You hadn't even been put at the back!

"I dunno, I don't get told about this sort of stuff," she chuckled nervously, trying to not make you angrier than you were. "Although it is a bit odd that Erwin's removed you, out of all people. He never does that."

"Then why on Earth has he done it now?" you asked rhetorically, pissed off. As much as you enjoyed being safe inside the walls and not having to go on another traumatising adventure past the walls, you felt it was incredibly embarrassing to be removed for no reason at all while the others risked their lives for your future. "I mean, I doubt the Squad asked him. That'd just be ridiculous."

"I did see Levi go to Commander Erwin's office last night, so..." Hanji trailed off, realising she'd probably said something she wasn't supposed to.

You and Levi had been dating for about a year now, and while she knew for a fact the black-haired man would never directly upset you, it wasn't out of the ordinary for him to try and convince Erwin to remove you. He'd tried to do it last time, because the expedition before that had ended tragically. You'd almost been killed, and if it wasn't for him saving you from the jaws of a titan and almost breaking his own leg, you wouldn't be there in front of her.

After losing his best friends, Isabel and Farlan, in the past, she was sure he wasn't planning on losing you any time soon.

"That little shitbag," you muttered, wrinkling your nose.

You loved Levi. You really did. But removing you from the expedition list was so selfish you could hit him.

It wasn't up to him. He did not have the right to chose whether you risked your life for the greater good or not, and this was what you dedicated your life to. He was not allowed to force Erwin to remove you just because he was too selfish to see you go. Deep down, you knew what he was trying to do. He was just worried you'd get yourself killed, and he really loved you, but you were too angry to care about that. In your eyes, it appeared that he didn't trust you and he didn't believe you could do it.

"It might not be him!" Hanji suggested, an awkward smile on her face as she put her hands up in surrender. "Y'know, they could've been talking about something else!"

However, you ignored her and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind you. Hanji, sighing, face-palmed as she knew just what Levi was about to get into.

Walking down the corridor as calmly as you could, you looked at each office door and at the golden plaques, looking for Levi's name imprinted on one just to make sure you didn't go bursting into the wrong office ranting and raving. Eventually, when you found it, you took a deep breath and gently opened the door, not wanting to get into a full-blown argument with your boyfriend.

"Tch, can't you brats knock?" Levi asked, his voice blunt and monotone. However, when he noticed it was you, his eyes widened for a split second before returning back to normal. "Oh, hey."

"Levi," you begun, closing the door behind you as you tried to think of something to say. Levi looked down at the paper you were holding, and as soon as he realised what it was, he hesitated. You noticed this, and that was all the confirmation you needed to know that it was him who'd taken your name off. "Nice to know you've taken me off the expedition."

"I should've known you'd figure out it was me," Levi said sternly, standing up from his desk and slipping his quill back into the ink pot. "Look, let me explain-"

"No, I've already figured it out, thanks," you said sarcastically, slapping the paper onto his desk in frustration. "You don't think I'm good enough to survive out there, do you?"

Levi was silent.

"I've noticed the training exercises for me have become... different than the others," you continued, your mind going back to the small yet significant differences in your training schedules than people like Petra. "You've tried it before, to get me off the expedition lists just so I don't get hurt."

"Y/n, I have a reason to do that," he tried to say, but you continued in your rant. "If you'd just shut up for two seconds-"

"I couldn't give a fuck if I die or not, Levi," you said, wrinkling your nose as he rolled his eyes at your mini-outburst. "I specifically signed up for this just SO I could help out in the survival of humanity. You out of all people should know that! The amount of times I've told you why I want to do this and how much it means to me is insane. And if you're not going to let me do what I need to do because you're too scared I'll die, then... well, I dunno! It's just unfair!"

"Are you done yet?" Levi asked, his voice rising as he glared intimidatingly at you. It wasn't something you were scared of, but you knew you needed to shut up before he actually got angry. You closed your mouth and sighed, unable to look your boyfriend in the eyes. He leaned against his desk, rolling back his head as he tried to think of something that wouldn't upset you more. And, as everyone knew, he was not the greatest with words. "Listen, Y/n. And don't butt in until I've fucking done, got it?"

You nodded.

"First of all, I apologise for doing anything like that without your permission," he said, and your eyes widened at him for even saying sorry. "It was a stupid thing to do. But since your dumbass almost got fucking eaten, I don't want you to go on another expedition."

"But why!?" you exclaimed, your heart sinking. Levi glared at you again, and you quickly shut up.

"In all fairness, it is my own selfishness," he admitted quietly, only just loud enough for you to hear. "I'm not like precious Commander Eyebrows. He doesn't give two shits about who dies on the battleground, but I do. And I don't fancy one of my best soldiers getting murdered in a pointless expedition when I might need them in a more important one in the future."

"That's bullshit," you answered, and he raised an eyebrow. "Hanji and Mike are much better than me, and although they've nearly been killed multiple times, they still make the expedition list."

"That's because they're captains," Levi stated, his voice getting a little louder. "I don't have control over whether they make the list or not."

"Alright then, what about Eld? Gunther?" you asked, and Levi kept his mouth shut, unable to answer. "Exactly. Petra was almost stepped on last expedition if it wasn't for goddam Oluo, but she still makes the stupid list. She almost got crushed, too, but I get nearly eaten ONCE and now it's like I'm banned for good. If you're that bothered, just remove me from your squad altogether!"

"That's not what I want," he almost snarled, pushing himself off the edge of the desk and crossing his arms. "And you know that."

"Then what the hell do you want?!"

"For you not to die!"

A silence entered the room. Your mouth stayed agape as Levi stared at the ground, occasionally looking back at you with a glare that could slice through metal. Your heart pounded against your chest, adrenaline rushing through your veins, and you didn't know what to say.

"Ever since Isabel and Farlan, you're the only person I've managed to get this close to," he continued, quieter than he was before while his hands were stuffed into the pockets of his navy blue jeans . "I don't want to lose... the only family I have left. And I know that's unfair on you, but my selfishness got in the way."

"I... Levi," you said softly, wandering over to him and pulling him into a hug. He wrapped is arms tightly around your waist as he nuzzled his face into your neck, making you giggle when his warm breath tickled your skin. "I understand. I'm sorry for yelling."

"Me too," he replied, rubbing his fingers in circles on your back. Being this close to someone was an amazing feeling that he'd been missing for years and years, and because he didn't want to lose that, he'd decided to go out and do something you didn't want.

He remembered how he'd felt when he'd saved you from the jaws of a titan. You still had the scars on your stomach and back from the bite marks, and he couldn't get rid of the memories of watching you on the grassy ground, bleeding out as you went sickly pale and almost passed out. He'd hated every moment, including when he watched you get stitches in the hospital. Any one of those breaths could've been your last, and the anticipation he felt as he waited outside the ward room for you to wake up. You could've been in a coma. You could've died. You could've gotten brain damage so awful that you couldn't remember who the hell you were.

He didn't want to feel that ever again. Ever.

"I think if I were Captain, I'd do the same to you," you said, pulling away and taking his hands into yours. "I should've listened to you."

"I'll try my best to get Erwin to put you back on the Expedition list, if that's what you really want," Levi said, and you knew that by 'try my best', he meant 'if he doesn't, I'll beat the shit out of him'. He was very good at getting what he wanted. "But if you slip up like a total idiot again, I'll break your legs so you have a good excuse to not go next time."

As if he'd ever do that.

"Pfft, got it," you grinned, and he ruffled your hair before wandering back to his seat, presumably to finish off his paperwork. You pouted, unsure whether to stay here with your boyfriend or to go down for dinner. It was unlikely Levi would remember to get food; he usually was too focussed on his paperwork to get some or he just chose against it, so you usually bought some up for him.

"You look lovely today," Levi then said out of the blue, and your heart fluttered as a small smile appeared on your face. "You usually look beautiful, of course, but today, you look... really nice."

"Thank you," you replied, wandering over before planting a small kiss on his lips. "You look lovely too."

A chuckle escaped his lips before he looked down at his watch, taking note of the time. "Do you want to go down to dinner with me?"

"Sure," you answered, and once he stood up, he stretched out his hand for you to take. Overjoyed, you left the paper on his table and took it, your fingers interlocking just as he liked. He gave you a quick squeeze before adjusting the sleeves of his top and leaving the room, making sure to lock his office after leaving.

[love-fireflysong]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry that this one took so long holy shit. I have no excuses, other than the fact that I'm a terrible person who can't be trusted with deadlines it seems. But it is done! Yay! So, as successfully chosen by Miss '@clumsybookworm18' Mel, here's my entry for hurt/comfort (finally). This is actually the beginning part of a sole survivor chris/ash au I've been imagining for over a year now, and will very likely be the only part of that au I will ever share. That au is for me. And me alone, sorry lol.

Can't Undo the Scars can be read over on AO3 of course (and I would recommend it if only for the snazzy looking texting lol) but it is also under the link as usual.

Can't Undo the Scars

Tropes: Hurt/Comfort Fandom: Until Dawn Characters: Ashley Brown, Chris Hartley Words: 9749 Rating: Teen (mentions of past trauma, unhealthy coping mechanisms, separation anxiety, nightmares that involve death) Author's Notes: Will I ever be happy with this fic? No but I'm as content with what I got as I ever will be. What Chris and Ash are doing to try and get back to 'normal' is so stupidly not healthy for either of them, but they are young kids that just want to try and move on with their lives. So be nice to them (and me obviously lol).

"I think we should take a break."

Sitting across from Ashley at the table in the quiet cafe where they had gotten coffee together, Chris fumbled with the sugar cube he had grabbed. It bounced off the small table and tumbled to the floor, not that he was paying any attention to it anymore. Not when it felt like all his blood had frozen in his veins. Still, hoping and praying that he was misunderstanding what Ashley was trying to get at, he let out a forced little laugh. "...like a KitKat? Oh man, when was the last time I had one of those? Must have been ages ago, you're totally right we should go and grab a bar or two after this. A little snack and treat we both totally deserve and I'll break us off a piece of that—"

Chris let everything else he was about to say trail off when Ashley pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and shook her head fiercely as she refused to look at him. The loose sleeves of the sweater she was wearing were pulled far down enough that only the tips of her fingers were poking out, and those tightened around the mug of coffee she was holding onto. "No, I-I mean, I think we need to take a break from each other. At least for a little bit."

Forget his blood freezing, Chris felt everything around him freeze. His breath froze in his lungs, his heart froze in his chest, and time seemed to freeze around him. "Ash, are-are you," Chris swallowed roughly as he tried to keep himself together, "are you breaking up with me?"

Immediately Ashley's eyes snapped up to meet his, and they were wide with the same fear that Chris was pretty sure had replaced all the blood in his body. "No! No, that's-that's not what I'm doing! That's not what I want at all!" Her hands left the mug she had been gripping on the table and reached out to take Chris's, but hesitated and pulled back at the last second. "Why? Do you want to...?"

Chris closed the distance between their hands and grabbed hers in his, but was careful not to touch her wrists. He was more relieved than he had imagined it was possible to feel (and he had felt some pretty intense feelings of relief in the last half a year) when she responded by immediately turning her hands over so she could curl her fingers into his. "I don't! I can't think of a single thing in the world I want to do less than that."

The jerky nod that Ashley gave in agreement should have left him feeling better, but it didn't. "Good. So we're not br— not gonna do that then."

"Cool. Cool cool cool. Glad we're in agreement. But then, what did you mean by that, Ash? That we should..." Chris couldn't even bring himself to say the words, instead letting them die in his throat when Ashley slowly withdrew her hands from his and placed them back around her quickly cooling mug.

"It's just, this isn't healthy Chris. This can't be healthy for either of us."

"Healthy? What isn't healthy? This much coffee? The amount of sugar I put in my cup every morning? Is the amount of sugar I use turning you off Ash? Cause I don't think I can fix that sorry."

She didn't smile at that, not even a hint. No faint tugging at the corners of her mouth, no sigh of exasperation, nothing. And it was then that he knew that whatever this was all about, she was as serious as he'd ever seen her, and that terrified him.

"This, Chris. None of this. The fact that neither of us can sleep alone. That I'm terrified that the moment you leave my sight I'll never see you again. I hate that it feels like neither of us can go out in public unless we're both there."

"Oh. That. Yeah, I-I can see how that might be a problem. But Ash, it wasn't—it's not as if it's our fault. We're just trying to heal, I mean that's what all the doctors keep telling us at least. And if this is what it takes, then what's so wrong about that?"

Ashley looked up at him again, and while he wasn't shocked at the dark circles around her eyes (they were identical to the ones around his after all), the tears that had started to build up in the corners of them had him reaching over the table so he could take her face into his hands. Her hands cover his a second later, but not pull them away like he feared, instead she curls her fingers into the palms of his hands so she can hold him there. The two of them lean over the table to meet in the middle, likely looking like a romantic embrace shared by lovers in the corner to anyone looking on, but this is anything but. "But it's been months Chris," she starts and he wipes away the first tear that threatens to fall before it ever gets the chance to, "since, since..."

Since Blackwood, he finishes for her in his head, it's been months since Blackwood and it still feels like we're no better than when we first came down. And it has been, Blackwood had been nearly six months ago now and the two of them still jumped and grabbed for each other at what seemed like every little thing. A loud bang, even from something as small and normal as a car backfiring down the street, always sent Chris back into that room in the basement, watching as Mike aimed that gun at Emily. The sound of a glass cup shattering as it hit the floor would have Ashley locking up in fear, her grip on Chris's hand tightening to a point far beyond pain.

That first week of July had been terrible for them both. The smart thing to do would have been to get as far out of town as possible, but that would have left them basically stranded in the wilderness; surrounded by trees on all sides as they jumped at every little sound and animal call, wondering if it was yet another one of those creatures from the mountain trying to finish them off. Instead they had elected to stay home, cowering together in Chris's basement as the fireworks going off with loud pops and bangs from nearly every house in the area had managed to cut through their earplugs and send them both into a tailspin. Remembering every bullet that Chris had shot into the Wendigo that had chased him from the shed, none doing any damage at all except to push it back further and further from him. Remembering the sound as the lodge exploded into a ball of fire, leaving them to sit cold and alone in the snow as their ears continued to ring and ring. The coolness of the basement had done little against the summer heat either, reminding them too much of the heat from the burning lodge that had threatened to cook them both from the inside out.

July had almost been worse than February, and nothing would ever top those two days in February.

He's not worried about the scene the two of them are making in the cafe though. The table they had chosen—had been using since they discovered this beautifully quiet and peaceful cafe back when they had both finally worked up the nerve to leave their houses back in May—was in a secluded corner with no windows. It was a defensible position (or at least as defensible as a table in a public cafe could be) and as long as they stayed quiet then no one would pay any attention to them. Not when the other patrons were too busy chatting with their friends or typing away on a computer. And the employees? They had more to worry about then two nerdy regulars who for all appearances looked like they were having a romantic and private conversation.

"Can you at least just tell me why?" Chris whispers, his words choked as he continues to wipe away her tears. "Why now? What happened to make you think that we need a—" his m0uth moves but nothing comes out until he finally manages to force the word past the blockade in his throat "—a break."

Ashley leans into one of his palms and smiles at him sadly. "I know we both decided that we were gonna try and start school again in the winter semester, and that our admissions had already been accepted, so I was looking at dorm availabilities when you had fallen asleep last week. They only have a few single dorms and those are available only for married students. Which is fine, it's way too small to room two people at once for durations longer than a weekend. But it also turns out that there is no option for co-ed dorms, the school doesn't allow them. No exceptions."

"What? But, surely they must—"

She shakes her head. "No exceptions, they were very clear on that. I don't know how many times me or my mom or any of the doctors emailed them to try and explain the circumstances, but the response back was always the same. They 'feel sorry and understand how difficult this must be for us' but no exceptions means no exceptions. We either agree to separate dorms with roommates of the same gender or we have to find another set of lodgings."

"But that's...that's bullshit! So the thought of a boy and girl sharing a room apparently goes so far against their-their—what, good Christian values?—that giving our poor roommates nightmares while we scream ourselves to sleep is an acceptable alternative?!"

Ashley turns her head so she can leave a chaste kiss in the center of Chris's palm in an effort to calm him down, and decides to just stay and murmur her next words there. "I hate it too, but what other alternative is there? You know we can't get a place together, there's no possible way we could afford the rent for one."

"We can...we can..." Chris tries to find something, anything, he can say to make this not happen. "I can find a job, work and go to school or—"

"And we arrive back to the same problem, Chris. If we can't survive a separation at school, how are we supposed to do it when we're both out working as well, just so we can stay together. I don't want to do this anymore then you do Chris; I really really don't. You have no idea how much I don't want to do this, but we have to get used to not being able to see each other all the time. And I would rather do it on our terms then because the school or our roommates decided we can't."

Ashley's right, of course Ashley's right. It's Ashley Brown after all, she's always right, but he doesn't want her to be. Not about this. "Okay," he agrees instead, even as it feels like saying the word is stealing something away that he can't quite name. He hides this by lowering her head so he can place his lips on her forehead and say the words there instead. "Okay. Just-just tell me how long."

"A week." Chris feels something in his stomach turn into stone and sink to the bottom of his gut. He had been hoping for something like a day or two, not a full week. He isn't sure he can survive seven days without seeing her. "I-I thought long and hard about it, but a week. We're gonna have periods anyways where we won't be able to see each other because of exams or projects, so if we can manage a whole week then we can do those no problem."

"Are you sure that maybe we shouldn't, I don’t know, just build up to that? A day here, two days there, just so we can get used to it?"

Ashley shakes her head firmly enough that it jostles Chris's hands right off of her face, but keeps her hands in his anyways. "No. I want to get this over with. Prove to everyone, to ourselves, that we can do something as simple as this. I mean, we used to go periods all the time when we didn't see each other for ages, so what's so different about this?"

"Everything", Chris wants to say, "Everything's different now. It changed the moment we left that mountain behind." But he doesn't. He doesn't because he wants her to be right, that this is just a minor hiccup and if they can overcome this, then they can overcome anything. So with one last squeeze of her hands and a pained smile, he lets go and takes a sip of his coffee and grimaces at the taste. It's cold now, had probably gone cold a long time ago and he can tell from the shared frown on Ashley's face that hers has gone cold too.

With no reason for either of them to stay here now, they had only brought enough money for a single coffee each, it's pretty clear that their little coffee date is over. Neither of them say a word as they clean up their table and leave the cafe, their fingers intertwined as they usually are nowadays, but holding on tighter than usual. They separate only so they can get into Chris's truck, but the moment they settle into their seats, their hands find each other once again. And that's how Chris drives Ashley back to her mother's, hands gripping so tightly that they're fingers have turned white and not saying a single word the entire drive back. They never mentioned it, but neither of them have to. The moment they arrive at her place, then this is it. This will be the last time they're gonna see each other for an entire week, and the moment one of them speaks then any and all willpower they have to pull this off is going to be gone and they'll be back at where they started. They need to do this, even if neither of them want to.

It isn't until Chris pulls up in front and watches her let go of his hand to take off her seatbelt that it actually hits him. For the first time in six months, he's not going to be following her in. That he's going to continue the drive back to his own house alone. The realization shudders through him and he quickly finds himself fumbling at his own seatbelt clasp, and the moment he's free he's surging across the divide between them and taking Ashley's face in his hands as he kisses her like he's never going to be able to again. She doesn't hesitate to return the embrace either, throwing her arms around him and gripping onto him as though she never wants to let him go.

They spend what is probably far too long delaying the separation, but inevitably they do separate. And when they look at each other it's with tears in their eyes and their foreheads pressed so firmly together it's almost like they're trying to become one person.

"Just seven days, right? And that's it, we'll never have to do this again? You promise?"

Ashley doesn't say anything, she just nods and leans in for one last kiss, as though trying to memorize it and him for the coming week. And when she does pull away to leave, it's with her arms slowly untwining themselves from around Chris's neck, and then letting her fingers trail lightly over his shoulders, down his arms, and past his hands. Though she is stopped when Chris curls his fingers so that they catch on his, and doesn’t fight it as she watches wordlessly as he lifts them in front of his face and carefully lets the loose sleeves of her sweater drop so he can see the faint scars on her wrist that were left when the rope burns had healed. And as always, he makes no comment as softly places a kiss into the center of each wrist, followed by the palm, and then the tip of each finger, finally closing his eyes as he presses the back of her knuckles to his lips and holding her hands there. Just to remind himself that she was still here, that she hadn't died on Blackwood Mountain with all the rest.

He drops her hands when she pulls them back, but doesn't open his eyes when he feels her shaky fingers carefully remove his glasses and place them on the dashboard before returning her hands to his face in order to complete their little ritual. Gently, she traces the contours of his face with the pads of her thumbs, brushing them over his eyes, his nose, his lips, and following each with a soft kiss to the body part in question. Finishing as she always does by placing her lips in a closed mouth kiss to the area where his jaw and neck meet, and lingering just long enough so she can feel his pulse thrum beneath his skin. The minor burn from where he had once held the gun to his jaw had faded a long time ago, but he doesn't think that either will ever forget exactly where it used to be. And when she leans back, the usual expressions of relief and awe are hidden so far underneath the absolute heartbreak that they may as well not even exist. "I—" he starts, but stops just as quickly. It's far too overdue, but the timing isn't right. "I guess I'll see you next week then."

Ashley looks like she has something she wants to say, but instead reaches out to put Chris's glasses back on his face with shaking hands and as she opens the passenger door and gets out of the vehicle, she gives a weak smile. "Yeah, I...I'll see you then."

Chris just watches as she walks up to the building, gripping onto the steering wheel as hard as possible in an effort to hold himself back from trying to follow her into the building like every fibre of his being is screaming at him to do. And after sharing one last shaky and teary eyed smile from the top of the steps, Ashley unlocks the door and enters, leaving his sight for what feels like both the first time in forever, and the final time he'll ever get to see her.

He rushes the rest of the way home, and the moment he gets back he just about runs to his bedroom and hides under the covers of his bed, ignoring both the surprised greeting his mother sends his way and the inquiry about where Ashley is. He just wants to sleep.

The week will be over quicker that way.

***

By the end of the first day Ashley is ready to scream. Not because she misses Chris horribly (she does), or because waking up without Chris at her side had sent her into near hysterics (it did). She had expected these things after all, they were all things that she had to get used to again, he wasn't always going to be there with her after all. It still hurt—good god did it hurt—but all in all, it wasn't going terribly for the first day. She'd had no nightmares thankfully, and had spent most of the day reading, with some minor tidying up in her room and helping her mother around the house.

Oh no, the reason she was about to scream was her mother in question. Who after finding out why exactly Chris hadn't come home with her yesterday, and never made an appearance later on in the evening just before bed, had been frantic. Saundra wasn't angry, she didn't scream or yell or try to do anything that might set her daughter off, but she was being horribly insistent that maybe Ashely and Chris should have thought this through more. Asking why Ashley had never brought this up to her, and if she even mentioned that they were doing this to their doctors. She hadn't of course, because Ashley was fully aware that they would have done almost everything in their power to try and talk them out of it, telling them that the two of them weren't ready for separation of his magnitude yet. And of course neither of them were ready for this—they likely never would be—but it needed to be done if her and Chris had any hope of even trying to return to a normal lifestyle in time for them to return to college in January.

And, well, she was terrified about what would happen to them if they didn't. Sure it was deemed 'healthy' for now, as they tried and struggled to recover from what everyone around them said was a horribly traumatic series of events. But what about when it wasn't simply seen as healthy and therapeutic, but harmful and co-dependant? Ashley loved Chris, even if neither of them had said the words yet she felt it in her entire being everytime she looked at him, and the idea that one day they might grow to hate or resent each other for being unable to let go was too much. And so the completely necessary trial separation came into being. If they could prove that they could successfully be apart for something as short as a week, then this wasn't codependency in the making, it was healing pure and simple.

Now she just had to convince herself of that.

***

By early morning of the second day, Chris had finally admitted to himself what he had figured out a few short hours into his self-exiled bedrest: sleeping the week away when he had been finding it hard to sleep in general for months now was quite frankly going to be impossible. And so he had with great reluctance rolled himself out of his far too empty bed and into the shower, passing his own mother talking in hushed voices on the phone. Voices that quickly stopped the moment Lilith realized that her son was finally up and moving again, and then immediately confronting him afterwards and pleading that he tell her that nothing bad had happened between him and Ash. He weakly assures that everything's fine between them (it's not, everything is not fine, it won't be fine until she's by his side again), and that he'll talk to her after. The only thing he wants right now is a hot shower. Lilith lets him go reluctantly, but Chris is also very aware that the moment he steps foot into the bathroom, that she's going to be back on the phone with Saundra speaking in hushed and worried whispers.

The rest of the morning passes by in a haze of motherly questions—mixed with the occasional fatherly one every now and again just for spice—and a large breakfast that tastes and feels like ash in his mouth, and it bleeds into the afternoon, and then into the evening. Which finds Chris both bored out of his mind and desperate for a distraction as he digs through a pile of video games to try and find something to play. But everything he finds was either given to him by Ash, or ones the two of them had played together (if not both), so he abandons his search and instead finds himself out in the garage digging through dusty and broken down boxes until he finds the old playstation and games that his parents had gotten for him before he had ever met Ashley or...or...

Well, the point was he had a game now that carried no memories of anyone or anything except being six and terrible at video games. It does nothing to wipe away the loneliness and despair that covers him like a heavy blanket, but it's a start. An extremely stalled start to a race he wants nothing to do with, but a start nonetheless.

***

On day three, Ashley is starting to think that maybe her mom had been right and that this was such a stupid idea. Last night was especially bad. No matter how many blankets she had piled on her bed, no matter how many childhood stuffed animals she had shoved back on to fill up the empty space, none of it had helped. She had never felt so cold in her life and all the open space on the bed had made her feel like she was going to be swallowed up into the emptiness. In desperation she had started ripping the drawers from her dresser and throwing clothes from her closet, frantically holding back burning tears of frustration and the scream building up in her throat.

And then she found it. One of Chris's sweaters shoved half-hazardly away into a dark corner of her room under the bed, and had been forgotten about by the both of them until now. The immediacy with which she had fumbled to grab the thing and throw it on probably would have frightened her any other day, but with the tears finally flowing hot and heavy down her cheeks as she buried her face into the dark fibres, all she could feel was bone-crushing relief settling over her. Her room a mess she could deal with in the morning, Ashley had crawled into bed hugging herself and the sweater as close as she physically was able. She wasn't cold anymore, and the bed felt less empty too.

As long as she had a reminder that Chris was still alive, that she could still smell him even on this dusty and long-forgotten piece of clothing, then even if he wasn't physically here with her she could manage. And she would manage, she would. They were already halfway through the week after all, and she would prove to everyone—to herself—that they (she) could do this.

Ashley wears the sweater all the rest of the day once she wakes up.

***

In true Chris Hartley fashion, day four finds himself absolutely glued to the screen of his phone. Shortly after forcing down a small breakfast in an attempt to alleviate his worried parents' concern, he had spent what was probably a far too long amount of time in his text messages just staring at Ash's name. His thumbs hovering nervously over the keyboard as he fought with himself over and over again, debating if texting Ashley would be okay. Yes, the two of them had agreed that this 'break' (he hates the word, hates it hates it hates it with every fibre of his being) was needed if they wanted to try and get themselves ready for the separation that college life would inevitably bring, but that was to try and prepare themselves for not being able to see each other for long periods of time. They wouldn't be able to see each other during classes or during periods of intense studying and working on projects, but they would still be able to talk. Hell, his entire first year of college while she was still in high school had been just that. They hadn't been able to hang out in weeks, but they had still texted all the time.

So biting the bullet, Chris had gone ahead and texted Ash a quick and easy 'hey'. No 'miss you', no 'this was a terrible idea', no ' i wish you were here right now'. Just a simple 'hey' and then he stared at his phone, face pale and hands shaking as he waited to see what she would do. He didn't care if she would just send back a scathing reply about how he was breaking the rules by doing this, he just needed her to respond and reassure him that she was alright. That she was still alive and his insecurities were getting the best of him.

The phone rumbling softly in his hand was a godsend, and so too was the affirmative 'hi :)' that she had responded with. After that, it was as though the floodgates had opened. The two of them texted each other back and forth the entire rest of the day, her telling him about the books she had been reading as he told her about his adventures through late 90's and early 2000's gaming. They told each other what they had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They talked about everything and nothing and it was so blissfully normal that Chris wondered why on earth it had taken him this long to text her in the first place. He thinks that he was so used to just having her there with him all the time, that the idea that they could still text hadn't even crossed his mind.

There are things he doesn't tell her of course. That the idea of falling asleep without knowing she's next to him and safe is so ludicrous that he had stopped trying, only sleeping in small, unintended fits that leave him feeling even worse than before. That despite at least continuing to eat, the food tastes like nothing and he can only manage a few bites before excusing himself. And what little he does eat almost always manages to come back up during the night, though thankfully when his parents are both sleeping (he doesn't want them to worry more than they already are). Chris doesn't want to worry Ashley, not when it seems like she's managing this whole seven-day long affair better than he is so far. If she can do this, then so can he.

So no matter how many times his thumb hovers over the call icon in the corner, he does not press it. Texting will have to be enough, he knows that the moment he hears her voice then every single shred of resolution he has built up will crumble in seconds and he'll be driving as fast as he can so he can see her again. And they're already four days deep into their seven days, the last thing he wants is for Ashley to decide that they need to start all this over from the top again.

***

Ashley is comfortable in her bed, more comfortable than she's ever felt in her life honestly. Chris's arm is draped heavily over her waist, and his breath is warm on the back of her neck as he peacefully naps the afternoon away. His body is solid against her back and she feels so, so safe and so, so loved as she continues to read her book, a favourite of hers that she had read cover to cover a million times but always felt like coming home in its warm familiarity. Contentedly, she flips a page and snuggles back further into Chris's body and she feels something warm and wet drip onto her neck.

"Chriiiiiiis," she groans, but not without an edge of laughter, "wake up. You're drooling on me, you dip." He doesn't move, and Ashley repositions herself a little, made difficult by the weight of his arm over her, and jabs her elbow into his gut. "I'm serious you dork, wake up. I swear to god, you sleep like the de—" The words die in her throat in horror when she turns her head to face him.

His head isn't there. Nothing is there. Just dark blood pouring hot and heavy from the open space above his neck, staining the fur lining his coat and the once clean, white snow as the blizzard rages around her. Desperate to prove that this isn't real, that it can't be real, she fumbles for the hand that hangs limp at her waist and threads her fingers through his, but his fingers are cold to the touch and black with frostbite, and no matter how hard she squeezes he isn't squeezing back. She's fully aware that she's openly crying and sobbing as she repeats his name over and over, begging him to wake up and tell her that this isn't real. Her tears are freezing on her cheeks the moment they fall.

From deep within the treeline, a high-pitched shriek that rattles the teeth in her mouth echoes long and loud around the wide, open snow-covered space.

Cries and nausea alike stick in her throat as she tries frantically to wiggle out from Chris's body, but his arm is a dead weight that keeps her pinned in place against him. "C'mon, Chris. We need to go. We need to hide. Get up, please please please get up."

There's a soft thump of a large body landing in the snow far off to the right, unseen but not unheard, and she freezes in place. Hoping and praying that the thing won't see them as she huddles in closer to the protection that Chris's body is offering, her blood stained fingers tightening painfully on his limp hand and around the leather bound journal she is still holding in her other. In fear she buries her face into the snow beneath her, the cold biting at her skin and the metallic taste of Chris's spilt blood filling her mouth and nose. For a moment, there's nothing. No sound except for the wind whistling through the trees as the snow whips wildly around them.

And then Chris is gone. The comforting and yet horrifying weight he had been is just gone as he's suddenly flung through the air and colliding into a tree with a sickening crunch. Her hand had been gripping onto his so fiercely and so tightly that she had been pulled with him for just a second before his hand had been violently ripped out of her grasp. Leaving Ashley to stare wide-eyed and terrified into the face of the thing—its body too long and spindly with far too many sharp angles to be considered human—standing above her as she lays on her back. Milky-white eyes gaze back down unseeingly at her and Chris's blood is dripping from sharp, deadly claws that splatter onto her face. The thing opens its mouth to showcase row upon row of crooked and yellowed razor-sharp teeth and it screams at her, spittle flying into Ashley's face as her ears ring and ring and ring.

Too scared to cry, too scared to move, Ashley just wishes that Chris was still here with her and not lying broken and mangled and headless at the foot of a tree as he continues to slowly bleed out into the crisp white snow. A small little whimper, barely louder than the whisper of wind blowing through grass and certainly going unheard in this howling blizzard, escapes past her lips but it's enough. In a flash, the same deadly claws are raking towards her face to rip her head off in the same way it had to Chris.

And Ashley screams.

She screams and screams and screams, and screams only louder when a pair of hands cradle her face and a voice begs and pleads with her to wake up. Ashley tries to fight back against the hands and the voice, screaming for Chris to wake up and help her, but her own words keep getting caught on the blood that is bubbling out of her mouth. There's another scream, this one not her own, and then the hands have moved to try and open her mouth but she won't let them. She doesn't want her jaw ripped off like what had happened to poor Jess. Like what she had seen in the pictures that the rangers had shown her and Chris so they could identify the half naked body discovered in the mines. So she fights back even harder, trying to claw at the person or thing that killed Chris and Jess and everyone else. And then there's a cry of pain, and the hands on her face have vanished, appearing around her wrists so they could try and hold her panicked flailing back.

The moment the hands appear on her wrists, Ashley's eyes fly open and she can't breathe. She can't breathe because she's hanging in the shed, the wood cold against her back as saws whir menacingly both in front and above her as Josh hangs limpy next to her. The lower half of his body an impossible mess on the floor and the grey intestines that had managed to stay in his upper half hanging down towards it like grotesque party streamers. From behind the steel chain link fence that partitions the room, Chris stands looking straight at her as he holds a gun to his jaw, his face pale as he smiles shakily at her and pulls the trigger.

Somehow, the scream that finally manages to break through is louder than all the rest.

There's more begging and pleading that she can't make out against the loud mechanical whir of the saws. And then a phone chimes, only just managing to cut through all the screaming and whirring and echoes of gunshots. And then it chimes again, louder this time. And again. And again. And she realizes that she recognizes it, it's the ringtone that Chris had set on her phone for his contact ages and ages ago as a joke, and she had just kept forgetting to change it back until it just became his notification, joke or not.

Slowly, the shed fades away until all she's left seeing is her mother standing in her brightly lit bedroom, screaming at someone through her phone. But all Ashley is paying attention to is the repeated chimes going off constantly on her phone one after another, the screen never getting the chance to go dark before another text comes in, and Chris's name appearing for every single one.

Saundra seems to notice that her daughter has finally stopped screaming, and although she continues to plead with whoever it is on the phone with her, she reaches out a hesitant and unsure hand. Ashley notices none of this as blood continues to dribble slowly out of her mouth as she picks up and unlocks her phone.

***

Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong and it isn't the fact that Chris is kneeling over the toilet as he retches into it for the second time tonight. Oh no, the something wrong is due to the fact that despite it being past midnight he can hear his mom trying frantically to calm someone down on the phone. It was the phone ringing that had woken him up in fact from where he had accidentally dozed off on the couch, waking up to find the old playstation controller hanging loose in his fingers and Crash idly spinning a piece of wumpa fruit on his finger in all his polygonal glory. Chris had dropped the controller the rest of the way to the floor in his rush to the bathroom though, startling poor Toby from where he had been snoozing the night away in his dog bed. He had only barely made it before he found himself throwing up what little food he had been able to eat during the day, and the coolness of the porcelain against is forehead was a balm of relief when compared to the burning in his throat and heat of his tears as they flowed slowly down his face.

He could tell the moment that Lilith had found him from the surprised cry of alarm behind him, quickly followed by a clatter as she dropped the phone to the linoleum floor in her shock as she reached out to take her son's face in her hands. Chris knew that he must have looked a dreadful sight, his face pale and drawn while his eyes looked at her with a glassy stare. The next second, she was yelling over her shoulder for his father to wake up now and turn on the car, but Chris wasn't paying any attention to that. Not when he was just starting to make out the sound of the voice through the phone, and more importantly, the screaming in the background of the call.

That was Ashley's scream. It was a sound he didn't think he would ever be allowed to forget and it hit him that she was screaming—screaming for him—and he wasn't there.

Clumsily, he ripped his face from his mother's hands and stumbled to the living room where he had left his phone on the couch. He had to help her. She needed him and he had to help her. The moment he finally had his phone in his hand he pulled up her contact name...and then he froze unsure of what to do. He couldn't call her, not because of this whole stupid break thing, but because the sound of her voice sobbing on the phone will cause him to break down with her and the last thing either of them need is to scream and cry while they're both so, so far away from each other. So he does the next best thing he can do:

He texts her.

C: what does a cloud wear under his raincoat? C: thunderwear C: why are teddy bears never hungry? C: cause they're always stuffed C: why do ducks have tail feathers? C: to cover up their buttquacks C: what kind of shoes do private investigators wear? C: sneak-ers C: why do i never tell jokes about pizza? C: they're too cheesey

And on and on and on. Even as his fingers shake he continues to text her stupid little jokes. The same ones he tells to her when he's there to hold her in his arms and remind her that he's still okay and that she’s safe. There's no describing the sob of relief he makes when she finally responds.

C: prime-mates C: what event do spiders love to attend? A: Cats C: webbings

There's a moment where he doesn't know what she means by that. How on earth could cats be the pun he was looking for in the joke? And then it hits him. She needs to know that it's really him telling these jokes and that she's not just making up everything she's seeing on her phone. Ashley is asking for the stupidest jokes about cats he knows so she can confirm that it's really him on the phone. Even tired as he is—and he is so so tired—they come naturally to him as only talking with Ashley and middle school dad jokes ever did.

C: what's a cat's favourite colour? C:purr-ple C: what do you call a cat that loves to bowl? C: an alley cat C: what's a cat's favourite tv show? C: claw and order C: what does the cat say after making a joke? C: just kitten

And so on and so forth. Ashley throws out a new topic for jokes and Chris replies with them as quickly as he can. He can hear his mom and dad talking in the next room, to each other and Saundra on the phone, but the only person he cares about is the one on the other side of his. He needs to call her. He knows what Ashley needs when she has a nightmare this bad, and the jokes are helping but she needs to hear his voice to be truly convinced that he's okay. But he can't hear hers without making things so much worse than they already are and he doesn't know what to say that would calm her down and—he stares at the last joke he had just typed out unconsciously it hits him.

C: what did the two volcanoes say to each other? C: i lava you C: i'm going to call your phone but whatever you do don't answer it C: just let it go to voicemail and please don't answer it C: please

Chris doesn't wait for her response as he shoves past his father to his bedroom, ignoring the startled shout as he slams the door behind him, and slumps against it to the floor. He doesn't want his parents to hear this. It's not anything that would worry them, but it's so so private and the only person he wants to hear this is Ash. He still doesn't look at her response as he frantically taps the call button and listens to the phone ring. And ring. And ring. And ring. And ring. And then, finally, he hears her voice for the first time in nearly a week.

"Hi, this is Ashley. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Promise!"

***

Please enter your password.

6279#

You have one new voice message. To play your messages, press one. To record—

1

"I love you. I'm so sorry that I'm not there so say it to your face but I love you so much that I can't fucking stand it somedays and I should have told you ages ago. I should have said it five days ago but I didn't. I should have been saying it to you before falling asleep and after waking up every day. On the helicopter ride down the mountain. When you kissed me for the first time. I think I was lying when I said that nothing was wasted between us, because I should have been screaming this to you from the first moment you smiled at me. I wasted so much time not telling you this so I'm going to say it now. I love you, I love you, I love you, I lo—"

To replay this message: press one. To go to—

1

"I love you. I'm so sorry that I'm not there so say it to your face but I love you so much that I can't fucking stand it somedays and I should have told you ages ago. I should have said something five days ago but I didn't. I should have been saying it to you before falling asleep every night and after waking up every morning. On the helicopter ride down the mountain. When you kissed me for the first time. I think I was lying when I said that nothing was wasted between us, because I should have been screaming this to you from the first moment you smiled at me over that diner's table. I wasted so much time not telling you this so I'm going to say it now. I love you, I love you, I love you, I lo—"

1

"I love you. I'm—"

1

"I love you."

1

"I love you."

1

"I love you."

1

"I love you. I'm so sorry that I'm not there so say it to your face but I love you so much that I can't fucking stand it somedays and I should have told you ages ago. I should have said something five days ago but I didn't. I should have been saying it to you before falling asleep every night and after waking up every morning. On the helicopter ride down the mountain. When you kissed me for the first time. I think I was lying when I said that nothing was wasted between us, because I should have been screaming this to you from the first moment you smiled at me over that diner's table. I wasted so much time not telling you this so I'm going to say it now. I love you, I love you, I love you, I lo—"

To replay this message: press one. To go to the previous message: press one one. To pause during message playback: press two. To fast forward a message during playing: press three. To hear this message, and the time it was delivered: press five. To copy this message to another person: press six. To erase this message and go to the next: press seven. To reply: press eight. To save this message and go to the next: press nine. To—

9

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A: I need you A: Please A: Please A: I need you A: I need you A: I need you

Please enter your password.

***

The car ride over was almost unbearable. Chris wasn't driving himself fortunately, with how tired and anxious he had been feeling for days now it would have been an absurdly stupid idea that likely would have ended in his death if he wasn't extremely lucky. As it was, he had been ready to go and beg a ride from his parents but had found Gabe already standing by the front door with the keys in hand. His almost pure white hair messy from being pulled from bed unexpectedly and leveling Chris with a glare that brooked no argument. It wasn't an argument that Chris intended to fight against as he hugged his father hard in thanks before climbing into the back of the vehicle.

But the drive had felt so much longer than it usually did, and Ashley having stopped responding to his texts certainly hadn't helped matters any. He still sent them anyways, more for his own reassurance than hers now. Lilith sat in the passenger seat next to her husband, still talking on the phone to Saundra to give progress reports and reassurances that yes the three of them were on their way now, even as she sent the occasional nervous glances at Chris in the backseat. Though worried for him or for the car upholstery in case the movement of the vehicle set off his gag reflex was anyone's guess.

The moment Chris felt the vehicle slow down his eyes jumped to the window and saw the familiar and welcoming shape of Ashley's building and he was already fumbling with seatbelt and opening the car door before they had even fully stopped. He hears his parent's cry out in shock as he dives out the still moving (even if very slowly) vehicle and he's stumbling towards the door. Chris realizes in horror that in his hurry to leave he had managed to completely forget his keys by the front door, and in the time it takes him to realize that the door has already opened. Saundra is standing in front of him dressed up for her overnight shift at the dispatch center that she is now extremely late for, and phone held up to her ear as she stares at him with wide eyes.

Chris doesn't even bother to say thanks or remark about the deep scratches on her cheek, the pair still bleeding just a little, before he's shoving his way past her and up the stairs to where Ashley's room is. He trips on the last step and falls forward, his phone skittering across the floor, but leaves it once he gets to his feet and just about barges into her room.

He takes barely a moment to stare at Ashley huddled up on her bed, looking so small in his dark sweater, and her eyes squeezed shut as her phone is pressed as close to her ear as possible as she rocks back and forth. There's a thin streak of dried blood from her mouth all the way down her chin and her eyes fly open in shock when he takes an unsteady step towards her. For a split second he's too scared to move, he doesn't want to frighten her anymore than she already is, but then the phone drops from her fingers and she whimpers out his name like she can’t believe he’s really here and he breaks.

He's already fully crying as he collides into her on the bed, but so is she so there's no need to feel embarrassed about that. He can hear his own voice as a tinny facsimile from the phone as the voicemail continues to play out before starting off into the electronic drone of the operator, but he ignores it for the feel of Ashley's arms wrapped firmly around him, her hands clawing into the back of his shirt to try and hold him closer as they both sob bitterly into each others shoulders. Chris is the first to pull back, though it's just so he can hold her face in his hands as he presses their foreheads together, thumbs wiping away tears that won't stop falling even as he continues to cry himself, just soaking in her presence in front of him. Ashley takes no time for her hands to start roaming all over his skin when they snake underneath his shirt, just feeling the unmarked bare skin as she searches for wounds and marks that no longer exist or have never even existed in the first place.

The two of them sit there like that for an unknown amount of time, just confirming that the other is truly alive and safe. Until Ashley slowly removes her hands from under his shirt so she can drag him down and forward into a deep kiss. A kiss that is by all accounts is downright awful considering that Chris never got the chance to rinse out his mouth and all he can taste is the blood in Ashley's from where she had bit her tongue during her nightmare at some point. Neither of them care. And he still doesn't care when Ashley starts to leave what may very well be slightly bloody kisses as she trails her lips from his mouth to the corner of his lips, across his cheek, and down his jaw until she finds the spot she's looking for and stops there so she can feel his frantic pulse thrumming beneath the skin. She holds her mouth there for what many would likely consider to be an uncomfortably long amount of time, but Chris says nothing. Not when he's now too busy picking up where Ashley had let off, letting his hands skate over the area of her stomach and waist beneath her shirt and his sweater.

The moment the two of them have calmed down enough that the sobs have lessened into quiet tears, Ashley finally removes her lips from his jaw and lowers one of her hands so she can place it flat on his chest and can feel his heart thumping steadily beneath her hand. Chris lets a hand cover hers to hold it there while he carefully places the other on the back of her neck, this thumb soothingly rubbing back and forth to comfort her. And gently, so gently, he brings their foreheads back together as they let the last of their adrenaline run out.

She's safe. He's safe. They're both safe and that is all that matters right now.

"I'm sorry," Ashley is the first to speak and words catch and almost shatter on the way out. "I'm so sorry. This was such a stupid idea and—"

He doesn't disagree with her. This had been a terrible idea from the start and while she's not wrong that they need to get used to not being around all the time, this was too much too soon. For both of them it seems. "I can't do that again Ash," he says instead. "We'll figure something out. Make agreements with our dorm roommates if we have to, force the college heads to accept our emails and the doctors advice, or rent the shittiest and cheapest apartment we can find. I don't care. We'll figure it out, but I can't do that again Ash. I love you but I can't."

Ashley nods weakly against his head in agreement. She can't do it again either. The two of them had barely lasted five days after all, and this whole failed endeavour had probably sent them back months. "I love you too. I love you so so much. You can't leave me, Chris, please. You can't. Not tonight."

He has no intention to, he doesn't know what his parents intended bringing him here, or if they thought he'd be going back home with them after this, but he's not going anywhere. They'll have to drag him kicking and screaming from the bed if they try, and now that the adrenaline has finally worn off, the lack of sleep he'd been having the last five days is hitting him and he is just so, so very tired. So tired, that all he gives in reply is just a reassuring forehead kiss in promise that he won't be going anywhere, not for a long time if he can help it, and then starts to bring Ashley down so she can lay on the bed with him. She follows without a fight.

It only takes them a moment to settle, Ashley laying so her front is flush to his back as is physically possible with her arm draped over his waist and fingers threaded tightly through his. Chris takes her other hand so he can softly kiss her inner wrist and then holds the knuckles lightly to his lips. The two of them slowly drifting off as Ashley continues to softly whisper declarations of love into the back of his neck.

Chris's eyes are closed, just enjoying her whispers that are meant just for him to hear, and even then he can tell that someone is standing in the door and watching them. But even if he opened his eyes to see who it was, with his glasses now resting in their spot on Ashley’s bedside table, he wouldn’t be able to tell anyway. And he’s just far too exhausted to even try right now. It’s only her mom anyway, or one of his parents—quite possibly all three of them—and he knows that come morning and after hours and hours of sleep, that there are going to be some conversations and intense worried scolding that need to be had. But with Ashley's fingers squeezing around his, and him squeezing back just as firmly, he doesn't care.

For the first time in a little over five days, the two of them fall asleep peacefully. Secure and content in the knowledge that they’re not gonna have to do this again, not for a very, very long time.