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libraryofloveletters · 1 year ago

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chapter two: disaster and despair

Chalres Leclerc x Fem!Reader + Carlos Sainz Jr x Fem!Reader

Warnings: carlos isn't fucking around, charles is soooo oblivious, flirting, sexual tension, rupert and lorenzo are a bit sus of carlos's actions, monaco was good to charles for once, alcohol and the consumption of, clubbing, insta is for fuckboys and cheaters apparently, lying, cheating on established relationship, allusions to smut and a bit of rivalry from carlos's end.

Word Count: 3.4k

Author's Note: in honour of Carlos's win today, have the 2nd chapter :) this one's juicy, it's a bit fast paced I won't lie but I hope y'all like it :))

Call My Name Masterlist

---

Monaco; glamour and extravaganza are the first words in your mind.

To most people, Monaco was just a luxurious place to visit and to F1 fans, it's another track on the calendar but to Charles, it was home.

A proud Monegasque; born and raised.

When he asked you to join him for the race that weekend, you booked the next available flight out. Unfortunately for you, you weren't a native to Monaco like your darling lover, but now that you two were a couple, you found yourself there a lot more and you've grown to love the place.

It was race day, Charles's fingers interlocked with yours as you two headed into the paddock, the flashing cameras in your face, fans shouting for your boyfriend. You smiled, taking in all the craziness as Charles walked you into the direction of the Ferrari hospitality building.

You had barely stepped into the building when someone called out, "good morning love birds." Carlos smiles at the two of you, pulling Charles into a half hug when he grabs his hand.

Charles pulls away from his friend, giggling as he does most times; seems that Carlos has that effect on everyone, not just you.

Speaking of Carlos; his hand rests on your hip, smiling at you as he leans in to hug you. His large hand slides from your hip to your back, touching just where the cut out was in the back of your dress - something you're certain wasn't a mistake on his part.

"You look beautiful," he whispers to you before kissing your cheek quickly.

Charles thinks nothing of it, smiling at you two before his hand replaces Carlos'. "Ready ?" He asks you, and Carlos. The three of you head towards the garage for the boys to do their morning check.

You had wandered off while they were busy. Seeing that it's his home race, his mother and his brothers were there. You had joined them above the Ferrari garage for a bit, you finally got to chat with Pascale since you arrived in Monaco a few days ago. Charles had been on the go since you arrived, him being the star driver of the weekend - a little term you came up with for home race drivers. He dragged you along with him, not allowing you a moment of rest since.

Charles was starting P4 this weekend, a good position to be. Everyone knows that where you place in qualifying determines your whole race here; there are very few chances to overtake in Monaco, the track was too narrow and the corners were quick and tight.

You were certain you'd be on edge the entire time he was out there, you were every time but today, the pressure was unbearable.

Not only was this his home race but he was in a position to win or at least get onto the podium.

He'd do anything to get up on that podium - especially this weekend.

About an hour to lights out, Charles comes looking for you guys to let you know that he'll be getting ready for his race if you want to head down.

His mother says the garage makes her head spin, so she'll stay upstairs and you offer to keep her company, but she tells you to go ahead and join the boys.

Charles has just returned to the garage when you make it downstairs, he and his brothers were taking a picture together as the mechanics and engineers did their final checks. Lorenzo was the brother closest to where you stood, with Charles in the middle and Arthur to the other side.

"Come here," Lorenzo waves you over and you shake your head.

"I don't want to intrude."

"You're not," he says, leaning over to grab your arm. He pulls you to his side, his arm over your shoulder when your boyfriend looks over at you and smiles. "You're a part of the family, y/n."

Joris smiles, telling the four of you to get a little closer and he takes a picture.

Lorenzo and Arthur step out of the frame, letting Charles pull you into his side. Your arms wrapped around your boyfriend when you lean into his side. Charles drops his head, his cheek pressed to the top of your head and the two of you smile at the camera.

You lean up, your hand pressed to his cheek when you kiss him. "Good luck," you whispered to him and he smiled, his hand giving your wrist a squeeze.

"Thank you, amour."

"Be safe, okay?"

"Always," he nods, giving you another quick kiss before you let him go, watching as he finds Andrea to get ready for his race.

You reach for your phone but you realize you've left it upstairs with Pascale. Charles was busy with his race prep so you figured you can sneak away and get back before he leaves the garage.

You had barely made it down the hallway, about to turn the corner when someone grabs your arm. You look over your shoulder to find Carlos.

"Hi," you smiled, "everything okay?"

He nods, "I saw you and Charles over there," he nudges your shoulder, your cheeks red. "It was nothing, just a kiss." You brush him off, your arm pulled from his grasp.

"Well, if it's nothing, do I get one as well?"

"Get... what?"

Carlos's eyes meet yours, there's something wicked written across his face and you can't quite place his intentions as of yet. The next words out his mouth do it for him; "a kiss."

"What-" you pause, jaw hanging open slightly as you stare at your boyfriend's teammate. "No," you shook your head, "not like that at least." You chuckled, trying to brush him off.

He was one thing, if not insistent. "Then how?" He raises a brow, waiting for you to answer him.

You take a moment to gather your thoughts. You have three options; one, walk away and pretend like this never happened. Two, tell Charles that Carlos asked you for a kiss or three, kiss him.

You lean into the man, your hand wrapped around his bicep when you press a kiss to his cheek. Your red lipgloss leaves behind a sticky kiss shaped mark on his tanned skin.

"Good luck," you say to him, taking a step back before walking off.

The man smiles, watching as you disappear around the corner before returning to the garage. "Where'd you go?" was the first thing Rupert asked when he saw him appear again.

His friend holds his chin, turning him towards the light. "Is that lipgloss?" Rupert asks another question and Carlos swats the man's hand away.

"Stop being nosey."

Monaco was good to your boyfriend, he managed to move up one place on the grid and finish in P3 - it's not a win but it's a podium at home and he was over the moon about that.

Someone turns their camera to catch the sight of you and the Leclerc brothers on the pit fence, screaming and cheering for Charles as he crosses the finish line. All of you go running, waiting to see him when he gets out of the car.

Charles, as expected, comes running as soon as he jumps out, jumping into the sea of red, a million arms wrapped around their driver. He makes his way through the crowd, hugging his brothers before he finally makes it to you.

He wraps his arms around you and you smile, your hand holding his helmet before pressing a kiss to the side of it. "I'm so proud of you!" You tell him, his visor open so you can see the crinkles by his eyes, the man grinning before giving you another squeeze and letting go.

The podium was Lewis in P1, Max in P2 and Charles in P3. It was a good day to be the top three teams.

Your boyfriend's teammate, on the other hand, didn't have such a good race. On lap 31, they decided to call him into the pits at the last moment, he tried to get into the pit lane and Lando was coming in at the same time. Unfortunately, the two of them attempted to get into the pit lane at the same time and they had a collision. Both drivers were okay but it wasn't a shocker that at least one Ferrari had a DNF this weekend.

They were still Ferrari after all.

You can't possibly lie and say you didn't feel bad for Carlos, because you did, but Charles on podium at home outshines whatever Carlos was feeling at the moment, and whatever you were feeling towards him.

Despite his DNF, Carlos did come down and join the team as they watched the podium celebrations. You were towards the front with Lorenzo and Arthur as well as a few of Charles's mechanics. Charles had a big smile on his face as he looked towards the sea of red, towards his team, his family and his girlfriend.

You were pushed up against the barricade so you take a step back and you glance over your shoulder to make sure you weren't stepping on anyone, but you find that Carlos was standing behind you; of course he was.

As much as Charles might've been oblivious to the fact, you weren't.

Carlos was making sure his presence was known, that you knew he was right there.

You smile at him, turning your attention back to the podium as they hand out the trophies. Carlos' hand rests on your hip when he steps a bit closer, you're sure it was just for a moment to steady himself with all the pushing but then it stays there; firm and warm and large.

He squeezes your hip and you slowly take a step away from him; not because you didn't like the feeling because.. god, you knew you did but simply because you knew this was wrong.

A shoulder brushes against yours; Lorenzo looks to his left and sees the look on your face.

"Are you okay?" He asks, shifting to give you some more space.

You nod, "fine." You smiled, looking up at the podium, taking a photo of your boyfriend.

Lorenzo glances behind you to find his brother's teammate there. Carlos smiles at him, nodding towards the older Leclerc. Lorenzo mirrors the action. Carlos's hand had already slipped from your hip, right before Lorenzo turned back to see him there.

All of you are focused on the podium, the drivers covering each other in champagne and Charles turns towards the crowd, spraying the gold coloured liquid towards the sea of people.

---

The club was packed; as it always was in Monaco but especially on a race weekend.

Your boyfriend had his arm over your shoulder, the two of your swaying side to side as he shouted something to his brother in French.

Andrea, Arthur, Lorenzo, Joris and a few other friends of Charles had joined him in celebrating his podium finish.

Charles had also invited Carlos to join you guys at the club but he politely declined, saying that he was tired and that he hopes that you all have fun anyways. Your boyfriend nodded along with what his teammate said, on a high already and he made him promise to join him next time. Carlos assures him that he will, sending him on his way.

"I'm going to the bathroom," you tell Charles and he nods. "Be careful!" He shouts, letting you go as he dances his way over to his little brother.

You shake your head, smiling as you head towards the bathroom. You make a quick check of your hair and your makeup; it was boiling in there, people packed together and you felt as if you were melting.

The phone buzzes in your pocket as you make your way towards the bar. You ordered a drink, reaching for your phone to check what it was. There's a message from Instagram.

carlossainz55: How’s the club?

You replied to him, it was innocent enough.

youruser: Good! Wish you were here, you’d be having fun with us!

carlossainz55: I wish you were here too.

You paused when you reread the message a few times.

youruser: What do you mean?

You typed out quickly, waiting for his answer. It came just as quickly.

carlossainz55: I see the way you look at me, y/n. I know you see how I look at you as well. You’re a smart girl.

youruser: I am.

It takes Carlos a few minutes to reply, you had washed down his previous comments with a shot of tequila.

carlossainz55: Hotel De Paris. Room 321

youruser: What am I supposed to do with this?

carlossainz55: Whatever you want.

Leaning against the counter, it takes you a few moments to gather your thoughts. Someone calls for you, "miss?" The voice comes from behind you, the bartender has picked up your empty shot glass. "Anything else?"

"One more please," you smiled at him.

"Name? For the tab?"

"Leclerc," you smiled once more. The bartender fills another glass, the clear liquid spills over the brim of the small glass when he sets it down.

You pick it up, downing the shot. The tequila burns on the way down, Carlos's message replaying in your head over and over again. You find yourself walking in the direction of your boyfriend, hugging him from behind.

Charles turns, "you okay?" He asked, grinning at you. You nod, smiling at him. It was just after 3:30 in the morning and you were exhausted. Between race day and the partying, you were ready to head home.

"I think I'm gonna head back to yours," you tell him and he nods, "do you want me to come with you?"

"No no," you smiled, a hand on his chest when you kissed him. "You stay and have fun, I'll see you when you get home."

"Text me when you get home, then." He smiles, kissing you once again before you head down, walking out of the club.

You hail a cab, getting into the back and the man asks; "where to?"

It was quiet, the man glanced back to make sure you haven't fallen asleep back there. "Miss," he calls yet again, "where to ?"

If you were a good girlfriend, you would have given him Charles's address but you were young and foolish, you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if you don't explore whatever this thing with Carlos could be.

Even if it's simply just a hello.

"Hotel De Paris, please." You tell him, picking at your nail polish when he drives off.

It's quiet, the man doesn't speak nor do you, simply thanking you when you pay him, tipping him a little extra as you were fighting with your own moral compass.

It's now 4am, the man at the front desk smiles at you as you pass by. You return the smile, stepping into the elevator. Charles would still be at the club for at least another 2 hours, you had time.

The 3rd floor button lights up when you press it.

This was wrong, you really shouldn't be here; ding. The elevator doors open and you step off of it. It takes all of you not to turn around and get back on it. There's a sign in front of you; 301 - 315 to the left, 316 - 325 to the right.

You turn to the right, counting the numbers as you passed them.

316 - 317- 318 - 319 - 320.

321.

Standing in front of the door; you still have a chance to get away but you don't. You knock on the wooden door and the sudden urge to throw up was all you could think of.

Maybe you can still get away.

Turn around, y/n. Run - run as fast as your feet can take you. You shouldn't be there.

It's too late, you don't turn fast enough and the door opens. Carlos smiles at you, leaning on the wooden door.

His shorts hung off his hips, minus a shirt and you'd say you weren't staring but you were. Eyes trailing over his bare body, counting the indents as you went lower. You'd never admit it to anyone but how you wished his shorts weren't in the way right now.

"Hi," you whisper, not even sure if the word came out of your mouth.

"You came," he says, smiling; there it is again, that mischievous look on his face.

You nod. "I did."

"Where is he?" He looks at you - he being Charles. You point behind you, as if he was there. "You know.. the club."

"Good," he smiles, stepping aside. "Are you going to stand out here all night or come in?"

You step past him, pushing your better judgment out of the window the moment the door shuts. You make it about half way into the room before you pause, turning around to face him.

"I'm really sorry about your race, you deserved to be up there too. Or at least be in the points."

Carlos shrugs, "that's life, corazón."

He steps closer to you and everything in your head is screaming; red flag!! run!! don't stay! go away! in big red, bold letters and yet, you stood across from the man.

"Is he expecting you anytime soon?" Carlos asks you, his hand cupping your jaw.

"I told him I would see him when he gets home. Why?"

"Then I have time," he pulls you flush against him.

You shouldn't. Wrong doesn't even begin to cover what was about to happen in this room. You shouldn't even be in this stupid room, with this stupidly handsome man.

Carlos's lips ghost over yours, ever so soft and you can't help it. You had a feeling - you promised yourself - this was never going to happen again and it might even ruin your relationship but god, how you wanted him.

"We can't," your hand wraps around his wrist.

He nods, "I know.. but you want to."

"I do."

"Then that's enough."

When Carlos kissed you, it's like nothing you had ever experienced before. You had never been kissed like that in your life; it was drawing, like he had a hold over you, kept pulling you back in until you had nothing left to give.

And frankly, you'd give him anything he wanted.

Everything about him was intoxicating. From the taste of his lips to the stubble on his cheeks scratching against yours. You needed him in a way that was indescribable.

Carlos wasn't sure what came over him.. well, he knew exactly what it was.

He wanted you to be his and even if it took a hundred years, you'd be his. He'd make sure of it.

You're everything he could have ever wanted. Your hands are everywhere, feeling all over him and he didn't care if your mouth was already on his, he wanted more. He wanted everything you could give him and he'd take it.

Carlos was greedy in that way. He doesn't stop to think how this would hurt you or your relationship.

In a some sort of fucked up way, he thought this was fair.

Charles gets to be the star boy for the team and he couldn't deny it longer. As much as he smiles and laughs with the media, everyone, including him, knows Charles will always be the focus of the team.

He wasn't going to let him have you as well.

He didn't care if he never won another race in his life; you were his prize.

Your purse tossed on the floor when he picks you up, your legs wrapped around him as Carlos gets on the bed with you.

You hadn't noticed that your phone fell out of your purse, too caught up with the man in front of you to notice your phone buzzing on the floor.

From Charles: did you get home okay?

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anonymooseforever007 · 2 years ago

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Romantic Escape

(Tommy Shelby x female reader)

Summary- After being confined to Arrow House for a week because of a small concussion, Y/N is determined to get out. But considering how overprotective Tommy's been recently she'll have to be smart if she'd to make it. To trick Thomas Shelby is a feat many enemies have tried but few have succeeded. But then again, not many of his enemies have the advantage of knowing him the way his wife does...

Or at least they're scared to get that close....

A/N: Hi y'all! No specific TW's for this one other than usual Peaky Violence, Language, and implications of smut (but non actually happens). There is one mention of a past attack but nothing's graphic. Also this was going to be one part, but then I didn't like how the breakup between scenes flowed, so there is a second part going to be posted in a few days probably! Anyways I hope y'all enjoy! ❤️ WC- 3.0k

Romantic Capture (Part 2)

Main Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a week and a half since the bad accident occurred.

Well, your husband called it a bad accident.

You called it "being a imbecile who'd gotten so distracted trying nicely draw a baby chipmunk out of the house she didn't realize the stairs ended two steps ago."

But in fairness, every other idea for the poor thing your beloved family suggested involved guns or stew. Besides, Thomas Shelby wasn't about to let even his wife herself, label his darling love as a common 'imbecile'....so 'bad accident' it was.

Truth be told you didn't even think it should be labeled as such. Sure you were dizzy for the first two days, but you only almost passed out when you stood up once. AND there wasn't any blood so you didn't even need to go to a hospital. Polly was insistent it was a mild concussion and a couple days rest would be all you needed. But your husband thought otherwise, and here you were days later, still confined to the premises.

You'd laughed at the irony of it. Your husband, who once decided to medicate a cracked skull with cocaine, practically ordering you to stay in bed. The hypocrite. Thomas Shelby was an undoubtedly smart man, but when it came to medicinal advice, he should probably have been the last one giving suggestions.

In the beginning, you could understand why he was worried. Yes, technically you had been "shot" a few months ago, by a rather rude man trying to prove he was more dangerous than your husband. Truthfully, you'd had sewing accidents that bled more. One time when you were 15, you had accidentally sliced the side tip of your left pointer finger off using a pair of scissors. But luckily you father had been a doctor and was able to fix it up at the house with ease. If held up straight though, it did still look like the tip of that finger was slightly crooked, but that's another story. But the man who'd shot you must have been drunk, because even your blind uncle had better aim than him, and all you were left with was a small nick on your shoulder and a small tear in your dress. Yes, it was still terrifying, and both you and you husband still woke up some nights, hearts beating fast with the thoughts of what would have happened if he had better aim. But in the end you were, for lack of better term, just fine.

That didn't stop your husband from worrying more though. It seemed the incident had flipped a switch in him, often shared by new mothers or teachers, who tended to be hyperaware of everything that could go wrong for their young steeds. For weeks after, Tommy had been on high alert, not even letting you go out with Polly alone, and everyone knew she could handle anyone just fine. Though maybe there were some good points to his overprotectiveness.

For about a month after, Tommy had decided to work from his home office so he could be closer to you just incase. This meant he didn't have to drive over half an hour to the office every day and could spend more time in bed with you in the mornings, something neither of you complained about. Then you spent many of those days in his office with him, working on your own projects or trying to convince him to let you play boss for the day. That idea was a quick no, but it didn't stop you from stealing his coat, sitting in his chair and, pretending to bark out orders to invisible blinders while he went to the bathroom. Nor did it stop Alfred Solomons from laughing like an hyena the time he had called right as you picked up the phone. You still weren't over knowing he heard you (as Tom) threaten to "make a pie out of the testicles out of whatever coward dared feed the horses Scottish hay instead of Irish!".... Luckily it hadn't been the time when him and "Tommy" were planning how to hide their secret affair.

In the end, Tommy had eventually gone back to working at the office and only the maids were left to witness your "brilliant" impressions. Soon life went back to its usual order... atleast until you'd gotten hurt again.

At first you thought it would be fun like before, and that you could spend time trying to convince Tommy he'd had better things to do than sign papers all day. Namely you. But unfortunately, it seemed your husband decided that your injuries weren't serious enough to warrant the both of you a bed rest this time. And truthfully, you also didn't mind that too much either. You adored your husband and loved spending time with him, but that didn't mean you didn't have plans that not involving him. Most days were spend either helping the maids around the house, planning the next gala with Lizzie, or going out with your own small friend group. You had plenty of things to do without him.

That was until you realized for some reason, the things you wanted to do weren't able to be done. For starters, you had a suspicion all the maids and been ordered to politely decline your offers to help with anything, even laundry. They'd simply smile at you and let you know you didn't have to worry about it, before offering to make some tea so you could rest your head. Then it appeared that both of you and Tommy's spare cars were in the shop for "repairs" meaning you'd have no way to out to meet your friends. Yes, they could come over, but still not all your friends were lucky enough to have cars and you were often the one driving everyone around. Not even Esme or Polly were able to come over, as Polly had gone to take care of a sick Ada in London, and half of Esme's lot had their own mini cases of colds. Even Finn who lived with you and Tommy, had gone with Isaiah, Curly, and Uncle Charlie to Wales for the week to bring home the new horse Tommy bought last month. After a week stuck at home it was getting old, and you wanted out.

So you decided to hatch a plan. And because you had a sneaking suspicion he started it, you had a good idea who your unwitting accomplice was going to be....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was now 6:34 and you had made plans to meet Lizzie at a silent film at 8:15. Though some may not have expected it, you got on quite well with your husband's secretary, and the pair of you could often be found going out to lunch on days when Tommy was particularly stubborn, or having tea with the other Shelby women on the weekends, laughing over whatever foolish thing you'd seen that week. It also didn't hurt that your sweet older brother had shown an undeniable interest in Lizzie, which seemed to be reciprocated anytime they'd meet at a Shelby party. You smiled remembering how many questions he'd asked about her after she'd left the night they'd met, or the grin on her face when he'd "run into" the pair of you on the way back from lunch one day and offered her a flower from a bouquet for your mother. What a wonderful coincidence of course, that your mother and Lizzie had the same favorite flower. So it wasn't an unusually occurrence for you to be seeing her, though you had a feeling if you tried to tell your husband, the last car might just happen to be out of gas. Eventually, you simply decided not to tell him and now all you needed was a way to get there...

And at 6:46 that way came rolling up the gravel as your husband finally returned in the only "working" car left. Standing on the front steps with a glass of whiskey in one hand and a blanket over your shoulders, you waited until your husband had stepped out of the car.

"TOMMY!"

Running up to the man, you smiled wide, quickly embraced him, greeting him with a passionate kiss leaving you both warm. Then you handed him the whiskey, letting him hold his briefcase in the other hand.

"Now, I'm not complaining Love, but can I ask what new trinket I bought today, that deserves this kind of welcome?" Tommy inquired cheekily, bending his ear closer to yours as you lead him inside by his tie.

He knew very well you loved him, and he absolutely loved you, but usually when he came home you were waiting in the living room or helping in the house somewhere. It had become a small game of y'all's too. If he managed to find you before dinner he'd get some kisses and some praises about how fast he'd found you, "your smart love" he was. If he didn't see you until dinner he'd still get kisses but it just wasn't the same.

You'd never tell him your dogs played the same game when learning to play fetch. He didn't need to know that.

Besides, it was all in good fun, and an easy way to try and get him home earlier. He could always work after dinner, but one thing you'd practically demanded the night you'd gotten married was that he was always home in time for the last meal of the day. And for the last two years he'd actually kept his promise, except for the days he was out of town on business. Even then you'd convinced him to have what you called "telly dinners". You'd sit by the telephone with your dinner plate on your lap and tell him about your day. While miles away he'd be listening, happy to hear your voice after being with Alfie all day. Hell, one time you'd even gotten impatient waiting for the call and inadvertently interrupted a meeting. You'd ended up having a lovely conversation with the other gangster himself about how his dog was doing, while your husband mumbled about "fucking betrayal on both ends." He didn't really mean it, but he'd always find something just plain odd about the friendship between you and the gruff man. If was as if the two most opposite ends of his world would come together sometimes and try to take a few more years off his life. But if being friends with Alfie made you happy then he'd likely have to deal with him forever. Or at least until he found a way to make the murder look like an accident....

"Can't a wife just be happy her husband's returned home? I missed you."

"And I missed you every second I was away." One thing about Tommy was that he could be quite romantic when he wanted to. And even if he did bottle up his feelings too often, he still had a sweet talk like no other. "But I seem to remember my lovely wife being slightly irritated with me this morning. Something about keeping her in a cage," Tommy rebutted thinking about the small argument you'd both had this morning.

Yes, he did know that he probably should let up a little on the overprotective precautions he's set up these last few days under the guise of letting you rest. But what he'd not yet told you, is the same day you'd gotten hurt, another enemy had made a threat on your life. And then getting a call, not even an hour later, from Frances about your concussion had thrown him in to a small panic, remembering the last time he'd almost lost you. So he'd taken his chances and used your minor injury as a way to keep you at the house for a few days while he had the man delt with. He knew he should have just told you from the start, but then coming home and seeing you curled up in the master bed, asleep in one of his shirts with a melted ice pack by your pillow, he'd decided to wait. It wasn't until today he'd finally had confirmation the danger was over and he could be sure you were safe. Maybe if your head really was better, he could take you out to dinner to celebrate.... Hopefully that would also soften the inevitable lecture he'd receive upon you learning the truth.

"Well yes I did say that, but I've had time to think, and as long as you promise to make it up to me later tonight, I'll forgive you," you replied coyly, lips brushing his as your words left no room for confusion on exactly how he'd have to make it up to you. "And besides," you said stepping back from him in the front hall, nudging his arm slightly so he'd drink the whiskey, "My head really is feeling better now, so maybe tomorrow we can go out to dinner too. I've been at the house all week you know?"

Tommy drank the whiskey and smirked, spreading his arms open wide as playful show, "With an offer like that how can I refuse, eh love? You want a real romantic escape from this place huh?"

You laughed, before pulling him close again wrapping your arms around him tightly, not giving him the chance to set down his briefcase or the empty glass. After all, if his hands were full, how could he stop you from digging your hands into his coat pockets during the embrace. Loving kisses on his face and neck helped distract him from your less than honest intentions. Well, partially less than honest... you still did fully intend for him to make it all up to you, especially with the small noises beginning to come from his throat as you kissed the small spot beneath his neck he loved. BUT that would happen only late tonight after the movie and maybe a few drinks with Lizzie.

Quickly but efficiently, you moved a hand under the blanket you'd wrapped yourself in outside, to muffle the noise and pulled back from him again. But this time, Tommy has plans of his own.

"In fact," he said slowly backing you up to the nearest wall, finally putting his case and glass on a nearby table and taking the blanket from your hands. You hopped he hadn't noticed the slight jingle it made when he threw it to a nearby chair. "Why don't we start now," he whispered, beginning to leave light kisses on your neck, "I do have a lot to make up for after all. Telling the maids not to let you help at all, and then I had the cars brought to the shop so you couldn't leave incase you almost passed out again." If he hadn't been kissing your own sweet spot right now you might have pinched his ear and began to lecture him on just that. Letting out one soft moan, you ducked your head to press his lips against yours once again. You pulled him closer and grabbed his tie, taking control of the kiss again.

"Nope Tommy Love, I'm sorry but that can't happen just yet."

Hearing those words your husband frowned as he was the one to pull back lightly this time.

"Why? Does your head hurt? I can get something if you need it," he asked concerned. Maybe the fall was more serious than Polly said if it was still bad a week and a half later.

"No love, my head's just fine Tommy, but I got a call from Polly earlier, saying there were some papers you needed to get done by 11:00 tonight. They were the ones you neglected when I surprised you for lunch last week and got knocked off the desk," you cooed at him, running your finger down his chest slowly to remind him exactly what kind of lunch it was. Plus, if he got too worried about your head again he may not let you out of his sight, and your plans would be ruined. It was 7:00 now and you'd need to leave soon. "She said they were very important and you really need to finish them. Therefore, I insist that you immediately go to your office and get them finished. And finished properly too, don't just rush it to make time for me."

"Love you know I'd never rush with you," and you have a small snort at the truth in those words. "Besides, I guess you do make a point and we wouldn't want to anger my aunt would we," Tommy chucked, knowing at least six things he'd said today to piss his aunt off.

"Exactly, so why don't you go to your office and close the door. I don't want to see you until at least 10:30 Mr. and don't forget to double check spelling. Those papers better be fit for a queen because that's exactly what your aunt deserves," you commented, lightly pushing Tommy towards his office. You had him now. So close!

Tommy smiled lightly and leaned over to grab the blanket from the chair, intending to bring it back in his office where it came from. Shit.

"Eh eh eh," you scolded lightly, stepping in front of the chair and grabbing Tom's wrist lightly right before he could pull it up. "I'm not done with that," you took the blanket from the chair yourself and bundled it to your chest, "You. Office. Now. And remember," you pulled close to Tommy one final time, "after 10:30 when you're done with your work, come and find me. And Tommy?" you teased, teeth lightly biting his ear lobe drawing a small groan from him as his eyes closed, "Tommy I did do some gardening today. Why don't you start by looking places where one can get a little less," you lightly kissed his other earlobe, "dirty? Maybe the bath will still be warm..."

Tommy cursed lightly as you placed one final, deep kiss to his lips before pushing back and sending him on his way. You were still in the front hall when he looked back over his shoulder, waving happily to him. And he was none the wiser that underneath the blanket was your other hand....gripping tightly to his car keys.

Romantic Capture (Part 2)

#tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby x reader #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagine #Tommy Shelby #Peaky Blinders

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letomills · 4 months ago

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The "requests are paused until I'm done with the current ones" thing was wishful thinking (a bit like the closing statements in my last yt video 🤓) and I am once again thoroughly overwhelmed with everything.

Requests are firmly closed until further notice. I said yes to the FtM hairs for anon and the Tiggerypum tunics & iamliz13 alpha dresses for children & toddlers for the other anon (I did get the links you sent to the meshes), so I still intend to complete both.

A novel's worth of life updates under the cut (content warning for struggle with bipolar type 2, including questionable choices which should not be taken as advice).

Well over a year ago I shared that my mother was going through a really bad bipolar type 2 depression episode (looking back, mention of it in that post was very euphemistic, I must have been hopeful). The reason why I didn't give any updates after a while is that there is no satisfactory narrative that I could easily spin into words. She's not all better, she hasn't died or lost her mind for good, things have just been evolving at a snail's pace through a whole spectrum of very bleak colors. She's not fully hospitalized anymore, she lives at home with my brother and me, with day hospitalisation activities several times a week. The myriad psychiatrists that she's seen have not been able to find the "right" treatment for her, but hey, after lithium sent her into such a state of confusion that we thought she might stay mentally disabled for the rest of her life, at least now we know that's not an option. A couple days ago her psychiatrist prescribed a new antipsychotic to replace the one she'd been taking. She started the transition, and today confusion started showing its terrifying face again so she's not taking that pill tonight, or to be honest ever again unless her psychiatrist somehow manages to convince us otherwise (she'll report her symptoms and get counsel at the hospital tomorrow). Her cognition is already impaired, her short-term memory and ability to focus especially. She can't live alone, I keep and manage her pillboxes, make sure she's eating right and the stove is off, that sort of stuff. But at least, until the introduction of this new drug, she'd made considerable gains compared to when she was at her worst last winter. No way we're going back to that again.

On a more positive note, about a month and a half ago I started work at a grocery delivery place just up the street (yes that's what I'm doing with my degree in Mandarin and my master's in English-French translation studies). It's intense physically, kinda stressful, and not very well paid, but I think I like it and the people are very nice. What scares me is that my trial period ends in about 2 weeks and I'm not entirely sure that they'll want to keep me, considering I've made several mistakes and they don't seem to think that I work quite fast enough (I know I said the people were very nice, they are, that's just the job). They keep saying the work load is gonna get crazier starting in September. The way they're saying it may suggest that they do envision me as still working there in September, but maybe they're trying to push me to work faster now and if I can't prove that I'm able to they won't keep me? Well I'm already doing my best, even if sometimes I end up finding myself crying over clients' items because my brain isn't able to focus anymore and I'm messing up and wasting time.

Emotional control has been harder because I unilaterally made the decision to taper off my antidepressant. Now before you facepalm, let me flood you with all of my best questionable arguments: • I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist, the earliest date I could get was October 1st (and I may have to postpone, depending on my work hours that day which I don't know yet). • I was already on the lowest dose that you can be on. • I tapered off very slowly. • I recently talked about it with the nurse that I saw for the mandatory medical visit I had to go to because I got the new job (idk if you have that outside of France). Naturally she was alarmed that I'd been weaning myself off on my own and she convinced me to see my GP asap and not change my medication without at least his input (which yes, I know). • the reasons I did it despite knowing that it's inadvisable are: 1) obviously I haven't been feeling depressed for a while or I wouldn't have done it, 2) the amount of endorphin-producing physical exercise I get from the new job felt like it could maybe do the trick so it was worth a try, 3) seeing how much my mom's medication has messed up her cognition over the years is scary. She's been taking way higher doses of antidepressants than me, along with other stuff, over a way longer period of time, but still. I don't want to be on it if it's not strictly necessary, so I wanted to try off. • I'm still taking my antipsychotic religiously and have no intention to stop that (I can't anyway or I won't be able to sleep and I'll definitely lose the job).

My plan with the antidepressant was to space out the doses and eventually get off it entirely for several weeks before reassessing, but after seeing that nurse, I started upping again to one dose every other day. I will admit, I was having suicidal thoughts after several days off, and now it's gone. Maybe I should find having suicidal thoughts more alarming than I do, the nurse's phrasing when she asked if I did - something that could translate to "no suicidals thoughts, riiight?" - was a good reminder that suicidal thoughts are really bad to have oh no. Of course I said no, why would I want her to interfere (leave me to make decisions for my own self thank you). Anyway, the appointment with my GP is in two days. He's gonna be useless on psych stuff but I guess getting his unqualified, predictable input is the responsible thing to do in polite society. More relevantly, the nurse also told me to go see him because my blood pressure is a bit low, or at least it was at 9/6 when she saw me, so I need to have it retaken and see what's up with that if anything.

And so yes, I have a ton of CC plans as always, I am positively drowning. Beside the two requests I mentioned above the cut, one of which I need to do a lot of learning for, I picked up work on Celestialspritz's beta Vincent skins and started converting afbodykimono for the usual roaster of breasted body shapes, like I did with afbodyqipao here and would like to do with more Happy Holiday Stuff outfits in the future. Although I told myself that I would stick to the body shapes that I've already done stuff for, I now also want to make a set of clothes for Lady Apple. I also have an idea about a set of scrawny body shapes for TU-EU inspired by Mrs Crumplebottom's body shape. I know Melodie9's slim family exists but to be honest those shapes creep me out and I want to see if I can do something less uncanny (it may end up looking too similar to the Androgyny body shapes, or to Faerie Gal, or it may not pan out at all, so don't hold your breath). I also want to do a ton of hairs in FakeBlood's palette + Naberius (tbh I'm still not 100% sure if I like Timebomb or Naberius more for my aliens, I need to figure that out once and for all). And of course I want to do more FtM & MtF hair conversions once I know how to do it well enough. There's a billion smaller projects I'd like to insert in between those, outfit conversions for one or a couple body shapes, repurposing of older meshes, a set of nude "outfits" for all the body shapes I do, etc.

#sims 2 #personal

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saiilorstars · 8 months ago

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Ch. 60: The Waiting Game

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @averyhotchner @abzidabzy @hellofutur @foxesandmagic @xovalliegirlxo @sam-i–am @kmc1989 @midmourn @choosejoyangel

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message

When Montserrat woke up from her Nyquill-induced nap, she very quickly realized she slept way more hours than she intended to. It was past noon, almost four. Granted she was truly well rested but that was not the point. She still felt mentally exhausted and wasn't equipped for what had to come next. She had to finally call Lucia and tell her what happened — it was the worst conversation she ever had with the woman. Lucia was livid with Montserrat, to say the least.

"How could you not tell me before!? Why are you barely telling me!?"

Montserrat could barely give her reasons when Lucia went on a rampage in the Spanish and English language to the point where Montserrat couldn't dream of understanding. The only thing Montserrat managed to hear was that Lucia was on her way to the hospital and pretty much cut all ties with his son's girlfriend.

Great. That would be fun explaining to Rafael when he woke up. It was definitely about the last thing he needed in his life right now. After that, Montserrat soon found out that somehow Casey had gotten involved with the whole thing.

"Yeah, that was my fault," Kara said with a hand raised in the air. "I suggested it."

"Why?" Montserrat couldn't understand what a robbery had to do with her cousin at the moment. Then again, she was only really thinking with about a 50% capacity.

Kara understood her mistake too late and was left squandering for a reasonable excuse (otherwise this time Sonny would have a true reason to kill her). "Well, uh, Casey's another prosecutor and she'll maybe take the case? If they find the guy?"

"It's just not her case yet," Montserrat insisted, although it seemed like the heat was now going more towards the situation rather than Kara (or Casey for that matter). "Nobody's been murdered."

"And it'll stay like that," Kara jumped on the chance to provide actual support to her friend. It was hard thinking this could turn into a homicide case rather than attempted murder. "You'll see."

Montserrat would've been more convinced if she didn't have other things on her mind. She kept getting voice-mail for Lucia's number, only reiterating how angry the woman was with her.

"She'll come around," Kara kept insisting as well, "She's stunned, like you were when you first got the call. It's just different. She's his mother, after all. Give her some days."

Montserrat nodded only because there was nothing else she could do, but it didn't mean it wasn't nagging at her in the meantime. "I need to go back to the hospital," she told Kara after lunch. She did Kara the solid of sticking around for that mealtime but it was about all she would do now. She'd been away from the hospital for way too long.

"What are you talking about? It's only been a couple hours," Kara pointed out. She would rather Montserrat stay for a bit more until she was less anxious and stressed.

"It's past noon now!"

"So?" Kara would love to hear an adequate reason why the time even mattered. "Montserrat, you need to rest."

"I already did!" Montserrat exclaimed. "Way more than I planned!"

Kara's eyes flickered to the side for a moment. The nyquil was still under wraps. Her phone started ringing and seeing it was Sonny, she urged Montserrat to wait for another 5 minutes. "Just let me take the call and see what's happened, okay?"

Montserrat groaned. "Fine! But I am leaving as soon as you're done, with or without you!"

Kara nodded and hurried to take the call. Montserrat took the first seconds to try and calm herself down. She didn't want to actually fight with Kara, not with anyone for that matter. They were all walking on eggshells around her already, thinking she was a ticking time bomb. It was hard staying afloat not knowing what the next day would bring, or even the next hour. Tears stung get eyes just thinking about the uncertainty.

Hearing the knock on the door somehow startled her greatly. She went to open it, presuming it would be Sonny on the other side only to find her father instead.

"Dad!" She gasped, stumbling back a step.

"Montserrat, how — woah! What's happened to you?" Thomas of course referred to his daughter's face of anguish.

Immediately, Montserrat whirled around, eyes wide as she took a few steps away from her father. She tried wiping her eyes quickly. "Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I got the day off and since it's been a while, I thought we could have lunch,, but..." Thomas trailed off, reaching forward for his daughter's shoulder. He gently turned her around and saw the same face as before, only this time it was slightly redder from the fervent rubbing at the eyes. "Now I'm seeing it's longer than I thought. Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Dad," Montserrat shook her father's hand off her shoulder. "Just a rough day, that's all."

"No, no, no," Thomas shook his head, "Don't try to kid me. I know you, Montserrat. You've been crying and it looks like it's been going on for a while. What's happened?"

"Nothing, sheesh!" Montserrat exclaimed. Of course she would've been more convincing if her voice hadn't shaken towards the end. How the hell am I a detective? "Look, I can't do lunch today. Can we schedule another day?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Thomas declared, crossing his arms, "It looks like you've got explaining to do, young lady."

Montserrat glared at her father. This was the last thing she needed right now. Despondence, anxiety, and anger mixed into one did not bode well for anybody in the room. "Dad, I don't have time for this. Can we do this another day, please?"

Thomas raised an eyebrow at his daughter. Usually it was all he needed to warn her she was crossing a line with him.

She still knew that.

But she didn't back down this time.

"You've got 5 seconds to tell me what's going on with you," Thomas warned. "Five…four…"

Montserrat gawked at her father with incredulity. "Dad, you can't treat me like I'm five—"

"Three…two—"

"Dad, seriously!"

"One—"

"I SAID STOP!" Montserrat unintentionally yelled at her father.

Thomas was dumbfounded with such a frantic reaction from his daughter. Tears were coming to Montserrat's eyes and though it was partially out of guilt, there was something deeper going on. "Montserrat," he tried again, softly, "Sweetheart, what's—"

"Can you just go? I'm actually leaving right now too," Montserrat gestured to the door behind Thomas. "I have to—"

"Montserrat!" Kara called from the hallway seconds before emerging. "Sonny says he'll be by in 15 and he can take us to the hospital."

"Hospital!?" Thomas exclaimed.

Kara's eyes widened. She had no idea they were no longer alone. "Oops…"

Montserrat let out a heavy sigh. "Dad—"

"Why do you need to go to the hospital!?" Thomas started demanding. "Are you hurt?" He went to check himself but Montserrat swatted his hands away.

"Dad, stop!"

"Why do you need to go!? Do you feel alright? What am I saying — it's obvious you're not feeling well! You've been crying!"

"She has," Kara agreed solemnly.

"KARA!" Montserrat said loudly enough to make Kara flinch. "SHUT UP!"

"Don't yell at Kara like that," Thomas reprimanded his daughter, "Answer my question. Why are you going to the hospital right now?"

"Because…" Montserrat racked her head for a good answer that wouldn't give away such a terrible situation.

"Are you hurt?"

"No!"

"Then why—"

"Oh, just stop!" Montserrat resorted to pleading, something downright shocking to her father. "Please! Just stop!" Tears rolled down her cheeks as the weight of each of her problems finally culminated into one heavy load on her shoulders. "I'm not hurt! At least not physically because trust me, everything else right now hurts! I'm going to the hospital because my boyfriend's there because he's been shot, okay!? He's been shot and he hasn't woken up since it happened and I want to be there when he does — if he does! Now please stop berating me and just—" Montserrat ran into her father's arms where she finally burst into tears.

Thomas was utterly stunned. For the first couple of seconds, nothing of what Montserrat said had sunk in so while she hugged him, his arms were awkwardly on either side of him. Eyes wide, mouth hanging open, he met Kara's gaze. She nodded to confirm everything Montserrat had said. Her grim expression helped sell it too.

"When...when did you get a boyfriend?" Thomas looked down at his daughter but at the question, Montserrat only whimpered and retreated further into him, desperate to be hugged back. Thomas slowly did so, bringing one hand over her back and the other behind her head. "O-okay, um…that's...that's...bad..." He sighed. He was terrible when it came to things like these. Montserrat's teenage years had been quite an adventure in terms of boyfriends and dating but now at 30? He didn't know which age was worse. "I'm—I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he ultimately said, "Really. I — how did this happen?"

Montserrat pulled away to take a deep breath. Her face was stained with tears. "A robbery. The guy was trying to rob the shop Rafael was at and then he just shot...he shot…"

Kara remained absolutely silent and lowered her head. It killed her to keep the truth of the situation a secret from Montserrat. But if she knew the truth, it would make her feel even worse, she reminded herself.

"Okay, okay," Thomas cupped Montserrat's face, "Wipe those tears. We can go to the hospital right now."

"You'd come with me?" Montserrat sniffed. "You're not mad I didn't tell you—"

"It does not matter right now," Thomas said, "Besides, you're a grown woman — as tough as that is to deal with — and you can make whatever choices you want."

"I was going to tell you. That's why I asked about having dinner, remember?"

Thomas nodded. "Yeah, and I told you I was going out on a trip for a whole month. Okay, that was my fault then."

"Dad, you would really like him. I mean, he's sort of a smart-ass but then again so is Gael."

Thomas let out a low laugh. "Oh, is it just Gael?"

"Of course, why do you ask?"

Thomas barely held his next laugh in. "Right." He gave Montserrat a kiss on the forehead. "Are you ready to go?"

Montserrat nodded fairly quickly. "Yes, please, let's go!"

"Kara?" Thomas looked at the blonde behind them.

Kara waved them off with a hand. "I'll wait for my boyfriend. He was already on his way. Plus, I think there'll be a lot of talking done on that drive."

Thomas wholeheartedly agreed with her. His eyes drifted over to Montserrat who had the energy to appear more nervous than before. "Ready?"

Montserrat wasn't so sure anymore. Still, a ride to the hospital meant she would practically do anything.

~0~

Thomas started slowly, cautiously, and for that Montserrat appreciated but it didn't make things any less awkward nor tense.

"Dating your co-worker — isn't that against the rules?" Thomas wondered out loud. He stopped at an upcoming red light, giving him the opportunity to glance at his daughter.

Her tear-stained face was finally getting a glimpse of light. She had stopped crying for the moment — she just needed to clean her face.

"Not if you disclose," she answered quietly, "Which we did."

"Ah, okay, um...when was that?"

"Dunno, two months ago? Time sort of blurred…"

"Time 'blurred'?" Thomas let out a small chuckle.

Montserrat glanced at him, eyebrows knitted together. "What?" Her voice couldn't go any louder than a quiet tone. If not, she would've demanded the explanation.

"Nothing...it's just...usually when you feel like time has 'blurred', it's because you've been having a good time," Thomas explained. At the green light, he was no longer able to look at her.

Maybe it was for the best.

Montserrat shifted in her seat. She was not about to go into detail about her relationship to her father. "It's been different," she left it at that. It wasn't a lie but it didn't outright expose her either.

Thomas hummed. "I can see that. I've never seen you so distressed over someone like this."

"To be fair, none of my other boyfriends have ever been shot."

Thomas let out a small laugh. "True, but I also meant in general. I've noticed you've been more, uh, content lately. Because I don't know what made you leave behind your old job and place in Queens, but I know that you haven't been happy in a while. I like the change."

"I'm sorry for that," Montserrat mumbled, eyes downcast. However painful it was for her, she imagined it had to have been hard for her father as well. She wasn't the kindest to him in the beginning. She did what a victim typically does: push people away. She thought she did it perfectly. She left her old friends in Queens, her job. She put distance between her father, her brother, even her nieces, and Kara. She became a good liar, indeed.

"I wasn't expecting an apology," Thomas clarified, "And I certainly didn't need one. I'm your father. I just want to know that you're okay."

Montserrat smiled lightly. "I can tell you that before all of this, I was more than okay."

Thomas nodded. "I believe it. You were...happier, more than I'd seen you in a very long time. I would love to say that you were your old self again but it still isn't like that."

"Dad, I don't think I'll ever be the same as before," Montserrat said, figuring it was best to shatter that dream right now than let it keep going without a future. "But that's okay because the way I felt before all this, it was damn great." Her breathlessness was enough to take her word for it. It sounded like even she couldn't believe it.

Truthfully, sometimes she still couldn't.

It took very little for Montserrat to become accustomed to the idea of always feeling miserable on the inside and overall like she was simply floating through life. She had resigned herself to the idea that it would always be like that from now on. But things changed again and she couldn't be more grateful. It would be beyond cruel to lose it all again. Actually, Montserrat couldn't see herself getting past it all over again if she lost Rafael.

"No more tears," came Thomas' voice.

Montserrat snapped out of her thoughts to find there were new tears rolling down her cheeks. "Sorry," she sniffed, wiping the tears off with the backs of her hands.

"No need to be," Thomas told her, "I'm so sorry this is happening, sweetie. But let's have some faith that it'll be okay in the end."

"To be honest Dad…" Montserrat let out a low sigh, "I don't really do the 'faith' thing a lot anymore."

Thomas nodded silently. It wasn't much of a surprise. "The things you see at your job can't leave much hope in the world, I know."

"Mhm," Montserrat nodded. She could let her father believe it was all because of her job. It would be easier for him that way.

"But in times like these...who do you turn to for strength?" Thomas asked curiously. "People pray to God, or other saints or something. What do you pray to?"

"Nothing," Montserrat admitted. It had been a very long time since she turned to any type of religious prayer. She was non-practicing Catholic at this point. Don't tell Lucia. "Right now, I just think about Rafael and how he's strong enough to come back. You should see him in action, Dad. If I were that guy who shot him, I'd run. I've been on the receiving end a couple times and Rafael doesn't play. And I've only gotten a small taste of the real thing. He's scary. Ask Kara."

Thomas let out a small laugh. "Knowing you, you probably kept it going."

Montserrat nodded. "Hell yeah. He's not right until I say he's right." She shifted in her seat. "Although right now, I'd give anything to hear his smart-ass remarks. An argument. Anything."

Thomas stretched a hand out until he was able to find Montserrat's. "It'll be okay."

Montserrat didn't say much after that. She couldn't wait to see the end of the drive and be at the hospital again. Nick had tried sending her messages but it didn't look like the service in the hospital was doing so well. All his texts were coming in as 'incoming message'. It left Montserrat even more anxious. What if something happened while she was away!?

She practically ran through the hospital, leaving her father to do his best to keep up. "Nick!?" She called as soon as she saw the man in the waiting room. "Your messages weren't coming through! Did something happen?"

"Yeah," Nick nodded, eyes flickering past Montserrat to her father.

"That's my Dad," Montserrat said dismissively. She had no times for introductions right now. "What happened!? Is Raf—"

"He's awake," Nick thankfully cut Montserrat off. He presumed that she had assumed the worst with his answer.

The relief that washed over Montserrat was monumental and yet so short-lived. Nick didn't understand why.

"I wasn't here," she whispered, eyes falling, "I wasn't here for him. God — I told you people I shouldn't have left!"

"Montserrat, you needed to rest," Nick said, "Besides, he woke up like 15 minutes ago. His mom's in there with him right now." Apparently, he'd something really bad because Montserrat's face had paled to a ghostly shade.

"What?" She asked, sounding like she'd lost air as well. "N-n-n-n-no, tell me she just got here too. Please."

"Uuh…" Nick was utterly confused but he still had to answer with the truth and it was not what Montserrat wanted to hear. "She got here an hour ago."

"Crap," Montserrat let out a heavy sigh.

"Montserrat, what's wrong?" Thomas asked her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You should be happy!"

"I am," Montserrat clarified, "But you don't understand. Lucia got very upset with me because I didn't call her immediately when this happened. I called her this morning instead because I thought there was no reason she should lose sleep when I was already here, waiting to hear how the surgery went. She didn't agree. She thought she should've been notified immediately."

"Okay, well, that was then, this is now. Things will change now that Rafael's awake. She was probably very scared too."

"I bet she was," Montserrat agreed, "But she's Rafael's mother. Where do you think he gets his temper from?"

Nobody would answer her. It was better to stay quiet and to help move things along, Olivia arrived shortly afterwards. She'd gotten the call from the doctors themselves as was protocol.

"Is he capable of answering?" She asked the two detectives.

"He might be too tired to remember things right now," Nick said, "I was with him for 10 minutes and he barely said anything about what happened."

"Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it," Montserrat said. "And he shouldn't if he's not ready."

Olivia nodded with her. "Yes, but it's worth asking, don't you think?"

The detective in Montserrat would make her agree but the civilian side of her made her shake her head. That was the part of her that wanted everyone to stay the hell away from Rafael until he was all better.

"There's his mom," Nick said when he saw Lucia emerging from the hallway.

Montserrat immediately pressed her clothes down as if Lucia were going to point them out and add to her fuel against Montserrat. She made herself front front center when Lucia joined them.

"How is he?" She immediately asked the older woman. "Is he — is he talking? Does anything hurt?"

"He had a bullet in his body so yes, he is in pain," Lucia answered sharply enough to have Montserrat wincing each time.

"Excuse me," Thomas cut in just as Montserrat was about to go on. He moved around Nick and Olivia to stand beside his daughter. "There's no need to be that kind of rude. You're both stressed and frightened."

"And who are you?" Lucia demanded, eyebrow raising.

"This is my father," Montserrat said hastily, truly wanting to avoid any kind of confrontation.

"Thomas Novak," Thomas introduced himself, "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak to my daughter like that."

Lucia didn't appreciate the tone used on her either. "Lucia Barba," she introduced herself in the same tone as Thomas, "And your daughter knows exactly why I'm upset." She crossed gazes with Montserrat.

"I'm sorry," Montserrat reiterated, sighing. "I didn't want you to go through a sleepless night. You nor Catalina."

"Don't take decisions that don't belong to you," Lucia retorted, "When it comes to my son, I need to be informed about everything that happens to him. I don't know why I didn't get the call in the first place. Do you?"

Montserrat lowered her head. She preferred not to answer for the moment.

"There's no need to argue," Olivia stepped in as well, "We all want the same thing, don't we? For Rafael to get better?"

"Of course," Lucia said incredulously. How dare they think otherwise?

"Okay," nodded Olivia, "Then I'd like to see him right now. I think Montserrat as well."

Montserrat nodded fervently. "I do," she said.

"Don't bother him with the unnecessary, please," Lucia warned as the two women started walking around her.

"I would never," Montserrat said sharply. "But I do want to catch whoever did this to him. And I will."

She followed Olivia down the hallway, preferring not to look back. She couldn't take whatever look Lucia must be giving her right now. She didn't have the head for it either.

"Montserrat," Olivia called twice before she was heard, "Forgive me for intruding but, have you taken some time for yourself with all this going on?"

"Are you kidding? I slept way more than I should have!" Montserrat exclaimed. "He woke up and I wasn't here!"

"I don't mean that," Olivia shook her head. "With this kind of stuff, I presume you would want to go see your therapist?"

"I don't have time for that!" Montserrat said dismissively. "I need to be here!"

Olivia suspected that mindset long before she got the courage to ask Montserrat. "It's important that you take care of yourself first. I'm sure Rafael would say the same thing."

It honestly didn't matter to Montserrat right now. She just wanted to reach the damn room herself and see with her own eyes that Rafael was awake. That's all she wanted. Olivia must have seen it because she didn't mention therapy again for the rest of the walk.

They didn't make a sound when they finally entered the room. If Rafael was really asleep, neither wanted to wake him. Questions would wait. But, as soon as they were in sight, Montserrat saw Rafael wide awake. He seemed a bit dazed but lucid enough to recognize them.

Montserrat forgot all about her conversation with Olivia and rushed forward. "Hii…" She said breathlessly, "You're still awake! You should be sleeping."

"I've done enough sleeping," Rafael muttered, sounding a lot more like himself than Montserrat (and Olivia) expected. He was definitely irritated enough to be himself.

Montserrat grinned widely at his response. She absolutely loved seeing him act like he usually would — it meant he was getting better! She reached for his hand, immediately gripping it. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I-I should've been, I know, but…"

Rafael watched Montserrat in a more dazed manner again — his mind went in and out with all the meds he was on.

This, Olivia presumed and since Montserrat seemed too upset with herself to notice, Olivia decided to cut in and help them both out. "Now, Montserrat, I think it's okay," she started slowly, watching Montserrat lower her head out of utter guilt, "You had to go home and rest too." Olivia looked at Rafael who was still trying to make sense of Montserrat's long ramble. "She was here all of last night and Carisi and Amaro and sent her home to sleep and eat."

"Well — why are you apologizing then?" Rafael glanced at Montserrat, eyebrows knitting together with confusion. "It's not like I noticed, right? I was in surgery. At least that's what my mother told me?"

"Is that all she told you?" Montserrat asked rather curiously and slightly worried. She grabbed a chair and sat down beside the bed.

"She said a lot of things but honestly, I tuned her out," Rafael drew in a breath, "The mess might be a blessing in disguise, you know."

"Ha…" Montserrat smiled lightly. That sounded a lot more like him. It truly relieved some of her anxiety. "Still, I'm really sorry. I did want to be here but I…I sort of overslept and…"

"I promise you that I am okay with that," Rafael said, smiling for the first time. "I don't want you forgetting about yourself because of me."

"I'm good, I promise," Montserrat assured, nodding her head fast. She brought their interlocked hands to her mouth, kissing his hand. "I just want you to be okay now. I've been a little crazy."

"A little?" Rafael's smile widened.

"Shut up," Montserrat said hushedly, letting out a small chuckle. She missed this so much. All the nerves were washing out as a familiar warmth flooded her insides.

At the same time, Olivia's phone started buzzing. "I'll be back," she told the two before taking the call.

Montserrat scooted her chair closer to the bed. She held onto Rafael's hand, still keeping her smile. This is all she wanted. Rafael was awake, seemingly recuperating and already taking jabs at her. In all her thoughts, she missed Rafael studying her. He noticed something he truly wished he hadn't. It led to his question.

"How are you?"

Montserrat blinked at first, puzzled with the question. "What — me?" She laughed. "Môj drahý, I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine."

"I'm on some strong medication but I assume you just spoke Slovak but even then…I don't buy it," Rafael said, shaking his head. "You went crazy over me."

"You were shot," Montserrat said, still frazzled having to say that. "What did you think I would do? Happily pass the night with your scotch?"

"Did you save me some, by the way?"

"Rafael," Montserrat warned him not to play jokes right now. "You were shot. It's not funny."

"Oh, I'm not laughing at that," agreed Rafael, "But I am trying to lighten the mood here. I don't want you to worry about me."

"Not right now," Montserrat shook her head, "Don't ask me not to do that when you're here. You have no idea how scared I was when I got the call."

"They called you…" Rafael said, as if realizing something.

"Um, yeah…" Montserrat cleared her throat, "Why did the hospital call me first? Your mother, uh, she was pretty pretty confused about that too."

"Yeah…" Rafael nodded, "Uh…I was going to tell you sometime…definitely not here but…"

"I don't think I've ever heard you ramble so uselessly…" Montserrat laughed almost immediately after saying that.

Rafael deadpanned her for a straight minute while she laughed. "I think I deserve to be cut a little slack, right?"

Montserrat nodded as she did her best to sober from her laugh. "Of course, dear."

It was too late as Rafael was already properly annoyed. "You're my emergency contact," he said in a huff.

Montserrat gasped lightly then, eyebrows raising with pleasant shock. "Am I really?"

"Yes, but you're making me regret it—"

"No, no, I promise I'm good! That's nice to hear, I…" Montserrat could feel the familiar spread of butterflies in her stomach. "When did you…when did you decide to do that?"

"I don't know, a bit back? Is that — are you okay with that?"

"Of course! Yes!" Montserrat was a smiling mess, a deep difference from the past day. She leaned over, carefully, and pressed a kiss on Rafael's lips. "Thank you for that trust in me." There was something else she wanted to desperately say to him but she felt the timing was off and perhaps even imprudent on her part.

Even if Rafael said nothing of it, Montserrat still noticed the subtle scrunch of his nose and the twitch of his mouth every now and then from the pain he obviously felt. He just didn't want to tell her about it — it wasn't shocking for her. He barely got used to the idea of asking her for help in far less serious situations so this situation would require a lot more effort from his side and she wanted to make it as easy as possible for him.

"Do you need anything?" She asked him, "I don't know, like a drink or something? And by that I mean water, of course."

"Damn, and I was just about to ask you for some scotch…"

"I would smack you right now if you weren't hurt!" Montserrat sighed and shook her head. "So listen, I really hate asking you this right now but I need to help so…about that night…"

Rafael already started turning his head away from her. He knew exactly what was coming.

"Do you remember what happened?" Montserrat wanted to be as cautious as possible for his sake. It was physically painful enough and now he would have to deal with any mental trauma he suffered from that evening.

"...a little," he did answer albeit in a low mutter.

"Okay, um, well there is that cashier — Clara?"

At the mention of the young woman, Rafael immediately looked back at Montserrat. "Is she okay!?" He truly didn't remember much after hearing the sound of the gun firing. He was in and out of consciousness but he did have slight memories of the young woman terrified in the shop.

"Yes, she is," Montserrat nodded, smiling lightly. "Did you know she's a med student? I was told she helped keep you stable while the ambulance got to you guys. She called 911. I absolutely love her."

It was Rafael's turn to smile. "Should I be worried?"

Montserrat let out a weary sigh but her broad smile defeated any attempt to sound annoyed. "Shut up."

"I want to tell her thank you," Rafael said a moment later. "She was so scared. I may have yelled at her."

"Lots of people react differently in situations like those. It's a flight or fight thing — you chose fight, she chose flight. All involuntary of course. But please, don't ever choose to 'fight' with a robber."

"Oh, but you can?" Rafael countered on the spot. His smirk didn't help. "You carry — you do that for a living. The way you feel right now is what I always feel about you..."

"I know, I know," sighed Montserrat. This was a conversation she didn't like having because Rafael always had the right. His concerns were right, his points made sense.

Rafael gripped Montserrat's hand as much as he could, which wasn't very much if Montserrat was honest with him. She wouldn't tell him. "I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you this is something we can't control," he told her. "I'm sorry I worried you. I didn't…I didn't see the guy getting up…"

"So you do remember some things, then?"

"Yes…but it's still mostly fuzzy…" If there was one thing Rafael didn't want to do right now, it was having to lie to Montserrat. His gaze lowered to their interlocked hands, which fueled his reasons all over again. "I don't know what they put in my body but I couldn't even tell you my birthday right now."

Montserrat smiled sweetly at him. "I'll make a full list about you when you get home. We can go over it together." She scooted her chair even closer to the bed. "Because when you get out of here, you have two choices about what's going to happen."

"Oh, do I?" Rafael blinked, bemused with the revelation.

Montserrat nodded. "Yup. You have a bullet wound and you need to take care of it. You won't be able to move around so easily — you won't be working," she said the last part as a full on threat in case he had the idea of even discussing the matter. "So, when you get out of here, you can either come home with me where I can help you out."

"Not happening," Rafael said on the spot. "You live with Kara and by extension Carisi. Haven't I been through enough already?"

Montserrat deadpanned him for a short minute. She was honestly expecting a response like that. "Then your other option — and your only other one — is that I come stay with you at your place for a while."

"You'd be willing to do that?"

"Yes, of course. I want to help you and I can't do that if I'm at my own place."

"Montserrat, that's sweet of you and I appreciate it but I don't need help —"

"Yes, you do," Montserrat nodded. This was also something else she anticipated and was well prepared to handle. "Raf, you can't live by yourself right now. Until you can go up and down the stairs on your own, I will be staying with you."

"It's not that the idea of having you around isn't pleasant — because it is — but I don't need you giving up your time just to take care of me." Even as he said it out loud, Rafael thought it was ridiculous. "I can manage on my own. I always do."

"Tough luck because it's not just about you anymore," Montserrat countered with a wry smile, "To your misfortune, and mine, I like you very much. With all your sarcasm and hard attitude, but I like you."

Rafael rolled his eyes at Montserrat. It was, of course, nice to hear something like that but it still didn't take away the feeling of impotence either. There were many things out of his control and Rafael was not used to it.

"Montse—"

"Let me do this, please," Montserrat insisted earnestly. "You're right. I was dead worried about you and, yeah, I want to be close to you for the next couple days because of it. I promise I'll try not to bombard you, okay?" She squeezed his hand in hers. "Please?"

This was a battle he had already lost and Rafael knew it. For all he knew, half her things were already in his apartment. That's not the worst thing that could happen. No, no it absolutely wasn't. Rafael sighed. What he would have given for this conversation to be part of a much better situation than the one they were in right now.

"You can go back home anytime, alright?" He said, instantly earning a beam from Montserrat. "You don't have to stay more than you want and you definitely don't have to do anything for me."

"I don't understand how you graduated from Harvard. You're seriously so stupid," Montserrat said quite honestly, which prompted a hard deadpan from Rafael in return. Montserrat let out a laugh in the next second. "But I want you just the way you are! I missed it all!" She leaned over to give him another kiss. "I missed you," she whispered afterwards. "I know it's insane to say that when we saw each other — what, yesterday? — but I really did miss you so much."

Even while saying it, she still sounded so afraid like he would fall under again. Rafael felt so guilty even while knowing this was way out of his control.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," he insisted for her sake. He wished he could get up from the stupid bed and show her — ease her fear and worries. "I don't want you worrying anymore, okay? Calmada."

"I cannot be calm when you're in this situation," Montserrat promptly huffed. "You went ballistic when I had a scratch on my back! I have every right not to be calm about this. Who did this to you? Do you remember anything about the guy?"

Rafael's mind was slow with all the medication, so coming up with a good excuse was even harder than usual. Luckily for him, Olivia returned at that moment.

"Sorry, that was Rollins," the Sergeant said, "She and Fin are going through some possible witnesses." She approached the foot of the bed slowly, both hands in front of her. "Do you think you can give your statement right now?"

Rafael shifted, and in doing so felt a jab of pain on his side.

"Or we could wait…" Olivia said, mistaking his shift for uneasiness.

"I'm good," he said immediately. He glanced at Montserrat, and a moment later he was asking her: "Maybe I do need something after all."

Montserrat nodded. "Anything," she encouraged, "What do you need?"

"A damn glass of water," he said, "They pump meds all night and day and I don't get to eat anything. I'm so thirsty."

"I'll go see what I can do," Montserrat smiled slyly, "Flash my badge and all."

Rafael smiled at her. He knew very well that she would. "Thank you."

"Of course." Montserrat gave his hand a pat then stood up, turning to Olivia. "Keep an eye on him?"

"Oh yeah," Olivia pressed a finger to her cheek then pointed at Rafael.

Montserrat still left with some reluctance, especially when Olivia mentioned that Lucia was asking for her.

"My mother's still here?" Rafael asked, eyebrows raised.

Olivia nodded. "Oh yeah, she's made it clear she's not stepping away for a while."

"She should go home, like you all. I don't need babysitters," Rafael said, shaking his head.

"Oh no, you're not paying Montserrat with that coin when she's had to deal with your mother."

At Olivia's words, Rafael turned his head slightly. "What do you mean by that? Has she been giving Montserrat a hard time?" He wouldn't put it behind his mother given the situation.

Olivia reluctantly nodded. "Yeah. Novak made the call to inform your mother about the situation earlier in the morning. She didn't want Lucia going through a sleepless night like her, much less your grandmother. Lucia didn't like that."

"Is she kidding?" Rafael snapped, not at Olivia but at the situation. "She just told me she hasn't told my grandmother anything about this." He loved his mother, he did, but sometimes she could be a…

"Montserrat didn't tell you?" Olivia assumed with Rafael's reaction. "She probably didn't want to add to your stress."

"Of course," groaned Rafael, although he soon stopped when he discovered it hurt him. "I'll have a word with my mother."

"Sorry," Olivia said guiltily, "I didn't mean to…you know…"

"No, I'm glad you did," said Rafael sharply, "Because Montserrat wouldn't tell me." Nobody would make her life harder than it had to be, not if he could help it. "Don't even tell her that I know."

"Understood," nodded Olivia. "So, about the case…"

"I need you to do something for me," Rafael said out of the blue, startling Olivia.

"Uh, yeah, of course…" Olivia nodded slowly, "What-what do you need?"

Before answering, Rafael's gaze flickered to the door. Montserrat would be away for a while, hopefully. "I need you to close this case."

"Excuse me?" Olivia tilted her head, presuming she heard wrong.

"You heard me," Rafael said, meeting her gaze. "I want the case closed. Cold case, if it must be."

"I don't — I don't understand…" Olivia rubbed her temple, "You want us to…"

"Close the case, yes," Rafael nodded. 'That's exactly what I want you to do. It's my case, and that's what I'm asking for."

"Why?" Olivia never thought she would have to have this kind of conversation with him. If there's anyone who always said what he wanted, it was Rafael. This made no sense. "Are you still processing what happened? Do you need —"

"I already processed it and this is what I need to happen," Rafael said, sounding very sure of himself. "I know what happens next and I'm not doing that."

"Because of a trial? Rafael, you know that's the natural order of thi—"

"I know," Rafael cut Olivia, his sense of impatience growing. "Believe me, Liv, I know what happens next. I know that you will eventually catch this guy and it will go to trial. I know that their defense attorney will start playing tricks and turn things around for their benefit."

"So you're afraid?" Olivia guessed. "That's also normal…"

"I'm not afraid," Rafael clarified, "I would gladly go along with every part of the process but this isn't about me. It was never about me."

Olivia was utterly lost. She rubbed her forehead relentlessly, leaving faint red marks on her skin. "You're going to have to explain this a little better because I'm not understanding. You don't want us to proceed with the case, you don't want a trial, but you're not scared?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Rafael confirmed, "And you, as my friend and more importantly the Sergeant here, need to help me."

"Why? Why do you want me to do that!?"

"Because that man worked for someone I get the feeling has been watching us for a while now."

Olivia presumed that the struggle she saw in Rafael was for himself. His hands balled into fists on either side of him. His lips pursed together enough to scrunch his nose automatically. But once again, Olivia was wrong because as Rafael had said earlier, this wasn't about him.

"He's been watching Montserrat," he spat darkly. The idea sent him into a frenzy and the only thing stopping its full fledged form was the aching throb he felt on the side of his stomach.

Olivia looked at Rafael both curiously and alarmed. "Why…why would you think that?"

"Because that man told me," Rafael replied, giving the impression that he remembered exactly what happened last night.

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"

"You and I are the only ones who know what happened to Montserrat before she transferred here, so this should be easy to understand," Rafael said, only taking a moment because he abhorred what he had to say next. "That man who hurt her — he's watching her. I don't know how, I don't know when, but he's still got eyes on her."

Olivia was keenly aware of the rising noise from the machine beside the bed. One of them was connected to Rafael's finger — a blood pressure measure. "I think you need to—"

"It makes sense now, what Little Tino told Montserrat when we visited him in jail. He told Montserrat that there was a rule in place…"

The beeps got slightly louder.

"Raf—"

"Nobody lays a finger on the redhead," Rafael repeated the words he now hated himself for. He completely missed them at that moment. A deep scowl marked his face. "He has rules, Olivia, about her, about Montserrat — in his eyes, she belongs to him. I can't — he's just—"

"Rafael!" Olivia snapped to get his attention. She moved to his bedside, urgently motioning him to calm down.

"Liv, we can't let him keep watching her," he told her, finally sounding what he truly was: frightened. He was scared, but not for him. "We can't let this keep going. He's—"

Olivia nodded and once again motioned him to calm down. "You need to take it easy. You have stitches. They can burst," she reminded him. She grabbed Montserrat's chair to sit down. "Okay, you're going to have to walk me through this so that we're on the same page about what happened. Only then we can decide how to proceed from here."

"Fine, whatever, but you can't tell Montserrat anything about this."

"I can't promise that but we can work together to come up with the best solution," Olivia said.

It wasn't good enough for Rafael. He needed to hear it out loud…but he knew he was asking the impossible from Olivia. He'd been on that side plenty of times. It was hypocritical of him to be asking the same thing he denied so many times before.

Yes, he was being hypocritical.

Yes, he was being unreasonable.

But he just didn't care.

He didn't care about anything, not even the frikin stitches throbbing on his side right now. The only thing he cared about was currently outside, getting something he asked her for. She was all he cared about. So damn everything else.

#ocapp #allaboutocs #ochub #fd: svu #Rafael Barba fics #Rafael Barba imagines #Rafael Barba x oc #SVU fics #svu imagines #law and order fics #law and order imagines #original characters #oc: Montserrat Novak #fic: dare to forget

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theoriginalmarke · 6 months ago

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SUNDAY SUMMATIONS

Mom isn't doing well. She'll be staying in the hospital until tomorrow and then we'll see if she can return to the nursing home. The doctor doesn't think coming home is an option. Hospice was mentioned.

After tomorrow the clock will reset on the insurance company's 21 day limit for nursing home stays. I did manage to find a correct number for the appeal and set that in motion but now that is a moot point I guess. At least for another 21 days, assuming she can return to the nursing home.

Now to distract myself from dwelling on it let's talk bison. I had to do something with the thawed bison burger yesterday before it went bad. I made a couple of burgers for myself and then fried a half pound to add to the dogs' food over a couple of days. They give it a thumbs up.

The cooking process involved opening windows and removing batteries from smoke alarms. Every time I silenced one alarm another would go off. I had no idea she had so many alarms. I have no idea why she has so many alarms either. Almost one in every room except the bathrooms.

So that was an adventure.

I made myself a salad for supper. I ordered a mezzaluna chopper from Amazon and found the perfect bowl at the dollar store for chopping my salads. It just happens to be a dog bowl. Metal with a rubber non-slip bottom and it's just the right size for a big dinner salad. Arf.

Now if you'll excuse me it's time to drink coffee and start dwelling on things.

I love you, baby. I miss you. MWAH!

Y'all have a great day.

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awesomegalaxysavior · 1 year ago

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STARBULA WEEK DAY 2 GOODBYE/MISSING YOU

@starbulaweek

Again, im late and tried my best in a short time—tho, now it's in English.

"I can clean up the guest room. I've got a few boxes I only have to move, and we'll throw some fresh sheets on the bed," his grandpa suggested, wearing a fond smile as they enjoyed breakfast.

"Or, she could stay in Peter's room, sweetheart." Joanne added and Peter grinned, a shy blush on his cheeks, and delved into his omelet. It was heartwarming to witness his grandpa's affection for Nebula. You'd think he'd be confused or even frightened, given that she was an alien and part cyborg. Yet, strange things have happened on Earth in recent years, and the fact that his grandson was dating an alien girl was the least of his concerns.

"Thanks, but I have to head back to Knowhere. I trust Rocket and Kraglin to keep things from falling into chaos, but not so much the others.”

"And!" Peter raised a hand, chewing his omelet. "She'll be back; relax. I've already invited her for Christmas—jeez, you sound more affected than I do."

He chuckled and looked at Nebula. Even though they were now technically a couple, she still found it challenging to let her guard down and show her emotions. But he could see a faint smile.

"That's right, Peter also mentioned something about Thanksgiving? I might take his invitation."

"Ooh, we'd love to have you for Thanksgiving. And the rest of your Gardeners."

He could only roll his eyes at his new grandma. "Guardians, Grandma. Guardians." Although he had a feeling she did it on purpose.

***

"Have you considered my grandpa's offer? But to be honest, I'd rather have you in my room." He didn't want to let go of her hand nor watch her disappear into the sky.

Nebula glanced over his shoulder at the house. She had parked her ship in the woods behind the backyard. "Yes, but we're making progress with the city. I have to go back."

Ten years ago, it had been hard to imagine Knowhere as anything other than a crime ruled world. Now, it had schools, hospitals, its own law enforcement, and was on its way to having its own government. All thanks to the Guardians, but most of all now, thanks to Nebula.

He released her hand and wrapped one arm around her waist, lifting her chin with the other to plant a kiss on her lips. He made it last until his lungs begged for air. It would be a while until he could do it again.

"Call me when you land."

She smiled, looking down and averting her gaze. He could see this was all a bit overwhelming for her, but she didn't protest and stayed close, one hand on his chest. "Stop with the puppy eyes," she teased, playing with the collar of his shirt. "I hate them."

He knew she was joking. Their eyes met again, remember their features, the feeling of their body warmth and locked their lips one last time before she climbed into her spaceship.

#peter quill #guardians of the galaxy #starbula #gotg #nebula #chris pratt #star lord #peter x nebula #mcu #guardians of the galaxy vol 3 #starbula week 2023 #Starbula week day 2

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doberbutts · 2 years ago

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I'm not so familiar with Evangelicals, I was raised Mennonite and funny enough Mennonites do not play nicely with any of the other cult-y Christians except kind of the Amish but just because they'reore or less cousins and older Mennonite and Amish families are actually related. I was raised to think that Evangelicals, Mormons, Jehovah's Witness, Messianics, and Catholics were all various flavors of heretical cults and not "really" Christian. It's funny to me because Mennonites have more in common with them than they think but they refuse to admit it.

Certain branches of Christianity period certainly could fall under "death cult" territory, and some have actually succeeded in at least amassing a large zealous religious gathering and then committing mass suicide. There exists to this day Christian cults that are really just glorified compounds where little girls are forcibly married to adult men in an attempt to hasten the Rapture. Some branches of Evangelicals support the fighting going on in Isreal because they believe if the world's Jewish population all gets deported to Isreal then the Rapture will begin, and you can't fit that many people in Isreal if "usurpers" (Palistinians) are there too. Other branches of Christianity believe that the world's Muslim population needs to be completely killed off and all traces of Islam erased from existence in order to bring about the Rapture.

It is not just an Evangelical thing- Mennonites don't go this far but my very Mennonite school taught me about some of these cults. Most of them are within the region we call the Bible Belt but not all of them. They continue to exist because *technically* they're not breaking any laws and the huge grey area they're able to exist in is really chalked up to claims of religious freedom. Some of these states don't have adequate mandatory minimum age for marriage or will waive age of consent concerns if the parents of the little girl sign her care over to her new husband- meaning he's now her legal guardian and can do whatever he wants with her and more or less owns her until she's old enough to legally marry, at which point she's been so heavily groomed to want this that of course she'll say yes to marriage. He's not supposed to be having sex with her prior to her hitting the state's age of consent but... how likely do you think these households are actually staying chaste?

(That's normally how those that do get caught, get caught, because someone fucks up and gets her pregnant waaaaaaaay before he's "supposed" to and it lets the government step in at that point, but a lot of these cults also don't believe in modern medicine and thus won't take their pregnant women and girls to the hospital 🤔 for some reason wholly seperate from this I'm sure 🤔)

There's even a couple Christian cults that literally genuinely believe that the head priest *needs* to cum in every fertile womb possible- including those of young children- because during sex he gets possessed by the spirit of Jesus and thus his children are all blessed and have his godlike powers etc etc American Christians get REAL fucking weird the moment you start looking at the extremes. Mennonites aren't an American thing, however. They're German, and though they predate the Nazis, European Mennonites did lean heavily into their German roots during Hitler's time. The Amish are technically Swiss, after the German Mennonites heavily influenced the church there fleeing from religious oppression via the Catholic church. So there's weirdo Christian cults in Europe too, and those too weird for European laws to tolerate come here instead.

The Amish and Mennonites don't really care so much about the Rapture- it's an inevitably to them, one day the world will end but it will happen in God's time and nothing Man can do will change that. They believe most of the book of Revelations, which depicts the Rapture for nonchristians reading this, has already happened in the Roman sack of Jerusalem in about 70AD and it's all metaphor and allegory. The only thing they're really waiting for is Heaven and Earth as one, Jesus coming down from the clouds and welcoming his children home, and there's no death because it's everlasting life, your earthly body no longer needs to expire in order to reach Heaven because it's comingled with Earth now. And they run the spectrum on the Isreal issue, and have your stereotypical allergy to treating Muslims with respect but the doctrine acknowledges that they worship the same god. So not really death cult, and thus viewed as mainly harmless and quirky compared to some of the other examples I gave above.

America has a weird relationship with cults where they’re terrified of small cults (or organizations they think are cults) but completely normalized massive cults that hurt many more people (eg: LDS Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Amish, Scientology, most Megachurches)

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fosterskeeper · 2 years ago

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UPDATED TIMELINE:

Family tree:

Stan Pines and Madame Foster are Francis’ parents.

Manly Dan and Marcy are sibling.

So Frankie is related to both the Pines and the Corduroys.

___

1984: Francis Foster Jr. was born to a young couple Francis Foster and Marcy Corduroy.

1986: age 3, the scribble problem. It was the only time she got to meet her Grandma until years later.

1989: age 6, when visiting her mothers family in Gravity Falls they end up getting in car crash her mother died and she lived. It took at least 3 hours before someone saw the car and 3 hours of Frankie sitting bloodied, bruised and traumatized in the seat next to her long dead mother.

Her dad spent years in a constant state of depression over the loss of his wife, blaming Frankie and started taking his feelings out on her. Which is when the emotional and physical abuse started.

1993: age 10, her dad starts dating another women named Deandra ( Dee for short. )

1999: She's 16 when she runs away from home, she's gone for a few months, in the middle of winter- so it's just bad. She tries to kill herself, but is saved by her bully. She ends up in the hospital, handcuffed to her bed, she's being treated for walking pneumonia and Achilles tendinitis ( tendonitis. )

After she's better- mostly. she ends up in a psych ward for trying to kill herself. She spent a good while there. She gets out and lies and says her dad is waiting for her outside, she ends up walking miles back into town and ends up at Coach Mcguirk's ( from Home Movies ) house.

He allows her to stay, he doesn't ask abt why she's there or why she's been missing. He knows she's got a hard life n having a shitty family himself he understands tht some things r best left buried... Or tht could just be his need to repress trauma.

Her dad finally tracks her down and drags her home, not w/o a fight w Coach Mcguirk who beats his ass. Frankie's got to pull him off of her dad n say 'it's okay- she'll be fine.'

Frankie drops out of school in 10th grade. She's in and out her dad's house, coach surfing from friends or Coach McGuirk makeshift office, he kept a sleeping bag and snacks and soda ( someone a can or two of beer. ) A lot of homeless shelters or churches.

She gets into the party scene hardcore. Anything to numb herself n not have to deal w her trauma. She deals weed / pills to make money.

2000: She's 17 when she and a few friends break into a house- they're pretty high / drunk. It turns out to be her grandmother's house. She meets Wilt when Frankie ends up falling down the stairs, thankfully didn't break anything. Just a few cuts and bruises. Her friends leave her behind.

He makes her soup and patches her up. He lets her stay in his room, can't have Mr. Harriman finding her, she stays the night and leaves when the sun is hardly up yet. Left a note thanking Wilt. Also to not rat her out to the cops.

Frankie keeps finding herself back at tht weird house, sneaking in and hiding in the many rooms, stealing leftovers. It doesn't take long for Mr. Harriman to find her- at first he doesn't know who she is. But she looks so much like her father tht Mr. H can't help but recognize her. He thxful doesn't call the cops, but they make a deal- she volunteers at Fosters to make up for the things she stole.

Frankie shuts down any talk abt her life / parents, no matter how much her grandma and Mr. H ask abt it. She grows very close to Wilt in those months. He becomes a big brother to her.

She gets off from work and goes home and finds her dad and Dee at the table, holding a stick and grinning like crazy- she’s pregnant. After they tell her the news, she trying not to break down.

2001: Days later - Frankie’s moved into Fosters, Mr. Harriman helps kick her smoking habit, things are going well. ( She's turning 18 at this point. )

nine months later - she gets a letter in the mail, a set of house keys, a letter and a photo of her dad, Dee holding a beautiful baby girl, named after Frankie but they call her Franny. The letter says they moved and Francis left her the trailer, he goes on to say he had to leave the trailer and this state held to many bad memories.

2001 - 2006: She been living at Foster for the last few years. ( 18 to 22 )

#▓┊trash is talking ( ooc )#tw;; child abuse #tw;; suicide attempt

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ndcgalitzine · 4 years ago

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#personal rant #pay no attention to the blogger behind the curtain #(why did that tag show up in my suggestions... have I used it before?)#anyway I had to call an ambulance for my mom last night #NOT my favorite thing to do #😔😔😔#her oxygen levels dropped and she wanted to be taken to the hospital so I ran over to her apartment last night and waited with her #she felt a lot better once the paramedics gave her oxygen #and she'll stay at the hospital for a couple of days at least #funny/not funny story... I accidentally slammed a door into one of the paramedics' shoulders while they were wheeling my mom out!!!#like 'thanks for helping out my mom'... BAMM!!!#thankfully he was a sweetheart about it #but I was absolutely mortified #😳😳😳#now I'm just waiting for visiting hours to start so I can go see her

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florxdexcerezos · 5 months ago

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"And I am here for you Jay. Don't you doubt it for a second." Sometimes it was easier to take care of another than it was yourself. But even Meeka couldn't convince herself to undertake it for long. With a kiss pressed to Jay's cheek, Meeka sent him off to Nikki's apartment. She returned to Nikki's room to wait for her older sister. While waiting, in the quiet of the room, she called Raleigh. Even if she reached his voicemail, she explained that she's back in New York, at the hospital for Nikki and she'll stay there until her sister has the doctor's seal of health.

Nikki's apartment was a grand place, with high windows and modern appliances but without Nikki there, it was quiet. Empty. Her latest piece remained in the centre of the main living room, with further progress than the last time he had seen it. But the rooms upstairs on the landing would be where all of the good stuff was. Nikki's room and her office in particular.

Nikki's room had always had a wall dedicated to painting whatever she wanted, given that she had the apartment even when dating Jay. Pieces that she had worked on before included 'Almond Blossom' by Van Gogh, Sink or Swim by Ian Cumberland, Angel by Paula Rego, and All Fur III by Natalie Frank to name a few. From the pictures and covered up paint supplies, it seemed that she was ready to put Starry Night by Van Gogh on the wall.

The bed was stripped clean of a duvet or comforter, usually Nikki's claustrophobia took personal offence. She only kept it around for when Jay stayed with her. In the closet that broke off from the room, she also had spare clothes for Jay, enough to keep him there for a couple days at least. Amongst everything like Nikki's shoe collection, were a folded duvet and a cosy blanket - blue with golden roses. It was Nikki's favourite.

Nikki's bookshelves were actually in her office, along with her laptop and financial filings. It was where she pretended to be a normal adult. Save the erotica of varying quality occupying some of her bookshelves. That didn't count. But she had books of many genres, some non fiction, some were stories from other countries. There was no rhyme or reason, but crime stories seemed to be popular. Tense thrillers, a stray book about a hedge manager working in Soviet Russia, or another about a payments company defrauding the world.

"It's alright, sweetheart." She consoled softly, arm breaking from his hold to rub his back gently. "It's difficult, coming to terms with things, and it sucks, it feels awful. But we gotta process it, and think of a way to move forward, with patience and kindness to ourselves. You'll make up the time with her, from the sounds of things, it was like she wanted to forget the break happened to begin with." She remembered trying to talk Nikki into letting her into her apartment after she shut herself away. It took time to talk herself into giving her some space, even after so many affirmations of being there for her.

"And now, now you'll have the chance to build new happy memories. You can show her your favourite things, shows, radio station. Whatever you like. She'll need you, to help her get better." It wasn't intended to guilt him into staying. "She never stopped loving you, or what you brought to her life." Her making him breakfast was a sign of it. Her endless devotion to those she cared about, being able to do things that could be appreciated. "She doesn't go round making just anybody breakfast."

#thr: erstwhles #th: nikki #ic: nikki #v: main [ nikki ]#tt: car accident #[ *drags myself in heaving* hello have this analysis ]

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im-in-love-with-pizza-bites · 2 years ago

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My Best Friend's Family: Chapter 1

Christopher Herrmann x Teen!Fem!Reader, Herrmann Family x Teen!Reader

Series MasterList

Series Summary: When everything seems to be falling apart your best friend, Lee Henry, and his family are there to help.

Chapter Summary: Truck 81 goes on a call that will end up changing the Herrmann family's lives.

Series warning: Warnings: Single parent, death of a parent, foster care system, adoption

Chapter Warning: Hospital, Car accidents, horribly explained hospital mumbo jumbo.

Reader's Age: 16

The shift has been pretty calm. Only a few calls nothing big or exciting. Which was their favorite kind of shift. One where they were at the house most of it and not watching people's lives change forever. No one knew that their next call would be one that would change Christopher Herrmann and his family's lives forever. It all happened so fast. It was around 6:30, every one was eating dinner

"Truck 81, squad 3, ambulance 61 car accident-" everyone stands up abandoning their dinner. They make it onto the scene in no time. Herrmann recognized the Sedan that was upside down. It was an old Honda civic that had seen better days but still ran. It was also your mom's car. He hurried over peaking, it was only her in the car but she wasn't conscious. He checks for a pulse very relieved to have found one

"What do we got Herrmann?" Casey asks walking over.

"One passenger, she's unconscious but has a pulse. Lieutenant, I know the victim, her daughter is friends with Lee Henry." He tells his lieutenant worry on his face. You are a lot more than just Lee Henry's friend, you a part of the family so is your mom. He knows all you have is her besides his son and his family.

"Okay, we'll get her out." Casey begins shouting orders out to his crew. Dawson hands Herrmann a C collar to put on Sarah, your mom while everyone begins their work. Soon she was out of the car and being loaded into the ambo.

"Go with them we'll meet you at med." Casey told his friend.

"Thank you." Herrmann climbs into the ambulance. The second they get to the hospital he calls Cindy. You shouldn't hear about this from a stranger you should hear about it from someone you know. He wanted to stay with your mom.

"How is she?" Mouch asks. Fire House 51 came by to comfort their friend. Most of them have met you or your mom at least once but none of them were that close with you or her.

"She's in surgery... Cindy is going to pick Y/n up right now and bring her here with Lee Henry." Herrmann says looking at the ground. No one said anything as they walked by squeezing his shoulder before sitting down. Mouch took the seat next to him, with Dawson already being sat on the other side of him. It takes a couple more minutes for you to come running in, Lee Henry close behind you with Cindy not much farther behind him. Herrmann stands up looking at you.

"Christopher? Where's mom?" You asked him tears in your eyes.

"She's in surgery. We don't have an update yet." He says softly as you hugged him crying into his shirt. "She'll get through, this so will you." He says softly. Mouch, Casey, and Boden who were sitting in the row that Herrmann was sitting in stand up to give you, Cindy, and Lee Henry a place to sit. Cindy and Henry took a seat but you and Herrman stood there hugging for a little longer before you sat between him and Henry.

House 51 found themselves in this waiting room more than they'd like. Whether it was for someone on their team or to comfort someone on their team it was always hard. Even when they barely knew the person who was hurt.

"Does it always take this long?" You ask.

"Yeah. She's going to be fine kiddo. She's strong where do you think you get it from?" Herrmann wraps an arm around you.

"Yeah." You mumble resting your head on his shoulder. It doesn't take much longer before Dr. Halstead walks in. Everyone stood up, Lee Henry took your hand as you guys waited for Dr. Halstead to talk.

"She's out of surgery, and she's stable but she isn't out of the woods yet these next couple hours are vital. It is looking up though."

"Can I see her?" You ask.

"Yes only a few of you at a time so she can rest." Dr. Halstead says. You nod before leaving the group and going to her room.

"Hey, mom." You sit down in the chair next to the bed. "There's a ton of firefighters here. Chris, Lee, and Cindy are here too. Chris saved you mom, him and his friend." You look at the monitor and back at your mom.

"You've got to be okay mom, you're all I have." You cried taking ahold of her hand. You sat in silence until Herrmann walked in with Cindy.

"Hey kiddo everyone is leaving. Lee Henry is in the cafeteria getting you something to eat. Visiting hours end soon but immediate family can stay.. I talked to Halstead he said me or Cindy can stay with you it's up to you who." Herrmann tells you taking the other seat.

"Uh Christopher can you stay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay I'll come by tomorrow after I take the kids to school." Cindy says, sitting on the arm of the chair that her husband is in.

"That works.

"Okay." You nod looking over at your mom. "What will happen to me if she doesn't make it?" You ask them.

"Oh kiddo I am gonna go back to the firehouse and get out of my turnout gear before coming back here, but Boden is letting me leave shift.

"Sweetie don't worry about that. We'll deal with it if it comes to that okay?" Cindy says from the opposite side of the bed.

"Yeah okay."

"I got pizza!" Lee Henry says walking in with two slices of pizza.

"Hey, Herrmann we're leaving." Otis says peeking his head in.

"Okay coming. I'll be back in a little bit." Christopher looks at you, you nod as you take your slice of pizza from Henry.

Henry sat on the floor next to your chair while Cindy sat in the chair her husband was previously sitting in. Normally they wouldn't have brought Lee Henry to the hospital or any of their kids. But this time Lee Henry insisted on coming because you're his best friend he couldn't let you go through this alone. Okay so you wouldn't be alone because his parents would be there but that's different then him being there.

TagList: @i-spaced-sorry @aaliyahsinger @roseelone @slutfortaylorswiftandzendaya

#x daughter!reader #daughter!reader #x teen!reader #teen!reader #christopher herrmann #Christopher herrmann x teen!reasee #christopher herrmann x daughter!reader #one chicago fic #one chicago x reader #one chicago #chicago fire x reader #chicago fire #reader insert #one chicago reader insert #cindy herrmann #lee henry herrmann #my best friend's family

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rendevousz · 4 years ago

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mum?

mother figure!nat x fem!teen!reader

avengers x reader

req by @teenwonder ; i absolutely love the entire teams adoration for reader skfksngnsf its so cute! could i please request one a little more nat based? maybe r treats and loves nat like a mom but nat hadn’t noticed that before, and the whole team is like listing examples of how and why 🥺🥺🥺

summary: the four times you needed nat and the one time she admits that she needed you too.

warnings: blood, a random attack out of nowhere because i'm not creative, inaccurate writing of medical situations because i have no idea how those things work, also let's just pretend bruce was around during iron man 2 when tony still had palladium in his arc reactor, also inaccurate descriptions of palladium effects bcs i just...don't know much about palladium pls forgive me thanks, and idk any hospitals in new york/manhattan or even the states LMAO so uh bear with this, and last but not least, my inability to write good endings

word count: 5426

notes: that's a long ass warning nevertheless pls do enjoy this fic <3

"i'm going now, bye!" you bid the team who were having breakfast together, walking out of the common area.

"bye, cupcake! don't get into trouble, don't do what i'd do and definitely don't do what i wouldn't do." tony advised and you rolled your eyes because tony says that to you every morning before you leave for school.

"wait, don't forget your lunch!" nat stands up from her seat and grabs your lunch that she had packed, from the kitchen island, bringing it over to you. "thanks, nat!" you grabbed it, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.

nat smiles at the action, turning around to walk back to her spot on the table, only to find the team staring back at her with knowing looks.

"what?"

"you know, you only need to sign a couple papers and the kid's all yours." tony states matter-of-factly. nat snaps her head towards the man, an incredulous look on her face. "what are you talking about?"

"we all see the longing looks on both your faces. she's dying for you to call her your daughter and you, her mother." clint explains and the others nodded in agreement.

"that's nonsense. she has wanda too," nat reasons, sitting back down. "i'm pretty sure she sees wanda as a sister considering how much she drags wanda with her whenever she's causing trouble around the tower." steve raises his brows at the redhead who was in denial.

"she sees you as her mother, nat. just accept it," wanda tells her, taking a sip from her glass. "really? name me one time she showed it." nat challenges them, not knowing that they've been watching your interactions with her for the longest time.

"you have no idea what you just got yourself into, romanoff," clint chuckles, cracking his neck and knuckles as if preparing for a fight.

"remember new mexico?" he smirks and nat only frowns, trying to remember.

"no!" you screamed, dropping down to the ground. you didn't care that you scraped your knees doing that, the only thing that mattered was the overwhelming feeling of grief engulfing your whole being. tears streamed down your face as you looked at the debris on the ground, the remainder of what used to be standing in front of you; a building. blown up, now in ruins.

clint, bucky and steve watched you break down in front of them, their hearts breaking at the sight in front of them as well as the fact that their teammate had been caught up in the middle of the explosion.

"y/n/n? come on, tony's team called for back up. we gotta go," steve tried to get you to stand up, failing when you kept your ground. you screamed when he tried again and their hearts clenched at the heartbreaking sound.

"we can't just leave her! please, we have to find her," you cried, clinging onto steve's body as he ran his hand up and down your suit-cladded back to soothe you. "y/n/n, we can't. the whole place is in ruins now," he didn't want to say it but he had to. he had to in order to get you to leave. "she's gone."

"she can't be gone! she can't just leave us! we need her! i need her, stevie.." you cried into his chest and he had to control himself so he didn't cry right then and there too.

he looked up to see bucky looking at the two of you guiltily, tapping his wrist to indicate that they were running out of time. steve had no choice but to carry you in his arms, getting you to leave the site against your will. but you were too weak to fight back now. "what am i gonna do without her now, stevie?" you asked quietly.

"we're gonna be okay, y/n/n," he tells you, sitting you down on a chair and settling down next to you as clint flew the jet to your next location. the atmosphere was tense and you could tell everyone, too, was sad about this.

"what if we're not? what if we're not gonna be okay, stevie? i know i won't be." you wiped the tears streaming down your face despite the fact that your face still wasn't drying up any time soon.

"because nat wouldn't want to see us like this. she'll be angry if she sees that we're risking people's lives just because of her." he says truthfully.

"we're landing, guys." clint announces and the team prepared for another round of fighting. steve turns to you, wiping the tears on your face as he made you look up at him. "now let's save some people and make nat proud, yeah?"

you nod at him sadly, preparing your weapons. all of you got out the jet and the second battle of the day begun. boy, were these people unlucky because they were on the receiving end of your fury.

you were busy taking down a group of guards alone when you heard a familiar voice. "y/n, behind you!" and you turned just in time to take down a guard who was aiming at you.

you didn't even have time to register your shock of seeing the redhead because more guards came at you two. you guys fought alongside each other until all the men were taken down.

"nat?" you breathed out. "yes, bub?" she answers as you both carefully walked over the knocked out men. she was taken aback when you slammed into her, hugging her the tightest you ever did since you met her.

"please don't ever do that again." you mumbled into her chest. she was about to ask you what you meant when she heard you sniffling. figuring out it wasn't the appropriate moment to ask, she continued to just hug and comfort you in silence.

"wait, that was why she cried that day? because she thought i was in that building when it blew up?" nat asks after steve finished the story. "i never found out why because she never told me."

"yeah, you should've seen her when the building exploded. completely shattered my heart, dude." clint states, remembering the broken down state you were in that day.

"wait, did you guys not grief over my supposed death then?" nat glares at clint, bucky and steve. "in our defense, they were about to blow up about a hundred people, we didn't have much time to process the whole situation." clint tries to convince his best friend, only to receive a glare again from her.

"alright but just because she cried when she thought i was dead, doesn't mean she sees me as her mum. i'd cry too if any one of you guys died," she states, still in denial.

she did love you like how a mother would love her child. but she didn't want you to feel that she was forcing the title onto you. after all, you had so many other adults around you, who's to say that you saw someone else as a parent figure instead of her? she didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

"woman, are you serious?" sam exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. "need i remind you that the girl sacrificed her life for you?"

ii.

"nat, watch out!" you stood right behind her where the man was about to attack her. you gave him a harsh kick to the head and that was all it took for the man to go unconscious.

the redhead turned around, not having enough time to comprehend what had happened before you dropped into her arms. you two were lucky the last of the men had already been taken out.

"bub? what's wrong?"

at this point, you were fully leaning against her. she was holding up your whole weight, hands wrapped around your middle to support you. that was when she felt it. the familiar thick substance on her fingers, leaking from the back of your suit.

her eyes widened, pulling one hand away from you to look at it. red. her breathing picked up as one of her hands felt around your back, finally feeling the handle of a knife sticking out from your back.

your eyes were already drooping by now and she lightly shook you awake, careful to not hurt you. she lowered you down and you were both sat on the floor now.

she presses a finger to her ear and you could hear her voice echo in your ear from your own comms. "can someone come please," she paused, exhaling shakily. "y/n's down."

if it had been any other person, she probably would be bringing them to the jet by now but it was you. she didn't know what came over her but when she saw that you were injured, it was like her whole body shut down. her knees felt weak and she couldn't bring herself to move.

"hey, hey, keep your eyes open. can you do that?" she asked gently and you nodded weakly. "bub, why did you do that?" she cried softly, moving your hair away from your face as you leaned sideways against her. the action caused your face to be smudged by your own blood from her hands but she didn't care as she caressed your cheek.

"he–he was gonna hurt you. i–i couldn't..." you paused a while, the pain getting too much for you to bear. "y/n, don't strain yourself. you need to stay awake," she tells you as tears streamed down her face.

"rather me than you," you whispered. nat's eyes widened at this. "don't say that, bub." she scolds gently.

you smiled weakly at her. "i've grown too dependent on you, nat. it's to the point that i," you coughed and nat worried that you were straining yourself but you continued. "that i'd rather die than live without you. you probably can go on with life without me but i can't without you. i need you, nat." your eyes closed and nat panics, shaking your body.

"y/n?! bub?! stay awake, please, they're coming!" nat cries out loud, holding onto your limp body.

"did we not agree to not mention that to me anymore?" nat glares at sam for bringing that up.

the night of that incident had been one of the worst nights for nat. she sat by your bed all night after you had been treated. she had been the first one you saw after you woke up. she had been the one you broke down in front of after you admitted the full reasoning behind your actions. she had been the one who opened her arms for you to make yourself at home in.

"i'm sorry but you must be blind if you can't see how really she sees you for the past years," bucky states. nat turns to him with a glare. "you don't know what you're talking about."

"oh really? who does she call whenever she has a really bad nightmare?" bucky questions rhetorically with his eyebrows raised.

iii.

"no, please, don't!" you begged, asleep and thrashing around in your bed. quiet whimpers turned into heavy breathing as you plead for your life in your nightmare. "please," you whispered, inhaling and exhaling harshly.

FRIDAY, noticing the amount of distress you were in, alerted the closest person to your room, that being bucky who was returning from a late night trip to the kitchen for some water.

he quickly went into your room, only to see you shivering and thrashing around in your bed. "doll?" he approaches slowly, finding you still asleep, though sweating a lot. nightmare, he realised.

"doll? wake up," he gently shakes you and you immediately jolt awake, breathing heavily as you register what was going on. "it's okay, it was just a nightmare," he soothes you, holding you close as one hand rubbed up and down your back while the other held your head to his chest.

none of that helped as you were still in the same state as you were when you woke up. "are you okay?" he asks, worried. "nat... i need nat.. please i need her," you whimpered, shaking in his hold. you were having trouble breathing.

"FRIDAY, get romanoff."

within minutes, nat arrived, looking panicked and disheveled like she had just woken up, which she just did. "what's wrong?" she asks bucky, approaching you two.

"she was having a nightmare and woke up and i think she's having a panic attack. she asked for you," he informs her and immediately moves away when she approaches, so that she could take his place.

"bub? it's me," you look up to meet natasha's pretty green eyes. "you're okay, bub. can you tell me five thing you can see?"

you looked away from her eyes, looking around your room. "i–i see my book on my nightstand, my lamp, my jacket on the chair, my laptop and the painting on the wall." you told her after some difficulties.

"good, that's good. four things you can feel?"

"i feel the socks on my feet, my fluffy blanket, the pillow i'm leaning on and your hands around me."

she smiles softly at you. "three things you can hear?"

"i hear your voice. a–and the faint noise from the ac and i can also hear bucky's breathing." you look up at the man and he smiles sheepishly at you, standing around awkwardly. you gave him a small smile back.

"two things you can smell?"

"i can smell my own shampoo..and my room's air freshener." you told her more calmly now, feeling the panic attack already going away.

"one thing you want to taste?"

"i wanna taste wanda's blueberry pancakes." you pout and the two adults couldn't help but chuckle. "you can have them in the morning. right now you need to sleep so you can have the energy to devour them tomorrow, okay?" you nod at the woman as she tucks you in.

not long after, you fell asleep. she then presses a kiss to your forehead before leaving with a less worried bucky now. and sure enough, the next morning, wanda made you blueberry pancakes.

"okay, so what? we all need someone to help us through panic attacks?" nat rolls her eyes. "did you miss the part where i came in and tried to help but she specifically asked for you? she needed you, nat."

"guys, i... i love her with my whole heart but she has all of us. i don't wanna make her feel like she's restricted to only one of us. you all love her too," nat reasons.

"yes but she doesn't have anyone to call her mum and frankly, i think you'd be perfect for it." wanda encourages the older woman.

"i—" before she could continue, her phone rang loudly and she thanked whoever it was that called her because now she didn't have to make up excuses about her doubt of becoming your official mother.

iv.

she looks down at the caller id, sighing when it was you, meaning the team had more against her now. of course she didn't mind you calling her, you could call her when she'd be asleep after a mission and she'd still pick up with a smile on her face. but it was the fact that the whole team could see how she softened when she realised it was you who called that bothered her. she really didn't want them to let her have hopes that you'd accept her as your mother.

"bub?" she said into the phone and half the team smirked at her while the other half gave her knowing smiles. "aren't you supposed to be on your way to school?"

"yeah but uh are you busy right now? i um, i need you."

nat immediately stands up, worry etched onto her face and the team frowned at this. "what happened? are you okay?"

"you know how i told happy i wanted to walk to school today? yeah, i just remembered why i don't walk to school anymore."

"what do you mean? what happened? are you hurt? did someone hurt you?" she bombards you with questions out of worry. at this point, the team had also stopped their chatter and teasing looks, equally worried for your well-being.

"yeah, i am. wait, maybe not. i mean, i was just being dramatic but uh, i tripped on who-knows-what and now i have a sprained ankle. i can't walk now so i'm standing in an alley right now so i'm not in the way of people. can you come get me?"

nat sighs in relief, thankful that it wasn't anything that she was thinking of. "you are unbelievable, y/n." she chuckles in disbelief at your clumsiness. "can you tell me where you are? i'll come get you now. i'll have the school know you're not coming today." you told her your location and she immediately leaves after telling the team what happened to you.

you were expecting nat to call again, to tell you she was around the corner but instead you heard a whoosh of air beside your head, followed by a crack sound. your head followed the sound, eyes widening when you saw that a dart had struck the wall beside your head. you looked ahead, trying to see where that came from.

if it hadn't been for your fast reflexes being an avenger for the past few years, you probably wouldn't have ducked in time when another dart came flying right for your head. "what the hell?" you grunted, staying low but still looking around for the source. you squinted when you looked up, the sun blazing but you managed to catch a glimpse of a man on a rooftop nearby. he had blonde hair and was dressed in all black, donning a same coloured mask that covered the bottom half of his face.

"you had one job! how could you miss her twice?!" the blonde hears his colleague hiss in his ear through the earpiece. "i'm sorry! i'm no hawkeye, how was i supposed to get her in one try?!" he scolds back.

"you didn't even get her in two!"

"shut up and just let me work! you're distracting me!"

"hurry because i see the redheaded one nearing the alley. boss'll kill us if he finds out we didn't get her in her vulnerable state."

"i'm trying, i'm trying!" the blonde closes one eye, his sight now locked on your crouched state. he saw you move once you saw him and he cursed under his breath, his weapon following your movements. "she's moving!"

"just take the shot and be done with it! you have to go now!"

and shoot he did. after he shot the dart gun, he immediately fled but it wasn't like you were going to be able to chase him down or anything. a scream left your lips as a dart pierced through your skin, right under your shoulder.

you dropped down to the ground, right in the middle of the alleyway. you cried when you felt the burn in your flesh. you had been stabbed multiple times before with much bigger objects so why did this feel different?

"y/n?! is that you?!" you heard nat's voice yell from a small distance away. "i'm here," you croaked out, feeling your body grow weaker at an alarming rate.

"oh my god, bub, why are you on the ground? it's dirty, c'mon let's get you up. which foot did you sprain?" she places both her hands under your arms, pulling you up on your feet before accidentally dropping you back when you let out a shriek, crying out in pain.

"oh my god, did i hit your ankle? are you okay?" nat assumed that your tear-stained face was because of your sprained ankle but then you wheezed, your eyes drooping the longer she stood there.

your right hand slowly reached across your left shoulder, the butt of the dart sticking out of your skin now in between your shaking fingers. nat's eyes followed your hand movement's, a gasp leaving her lips.

"y/n, what happened?!" she panicked but before she could even get an answer from you, you had already blacked out. her eyes widened, knowing it was the dart because why else would you pass out that quick from a simple penetration in the shoulder. you had dealt with much worse than that and she knew your tolerance level.

she took off your bag, careful to not move the dart. she then placed her hands under your knees and behind your back, easily picking your unconscious body up and rushing back to the tower.

when she arrived, she was met with many confused yet concerned looks from the tower staff, seeing the black widow, rushing in with the youngest avenger unconscious in her arms. they had seen you leave the tower for school about half an hour ago so they knew something must've happened on the way.

"get bruce in the hospital wing. tell him it's urgent." she tells the woman working the front desk, hurrying into the elevator and telling FRIDAY to get her to the floor she so desperately wanted to arrive at quicker. black lines appeared on the left side of your neck, slowly spreading to the right side and she assumed it was from that damned dart in your left shoulder.

"natasha! what's wrong? they said it was an emergency," the doctor spoke in a panicked voice when nat entered, immediately going quiet when he saw you in her arms, neck lined with seemingly black veins.

nat laid you down on the surgery table, frown growing when black lines steadily spread to your arms now. though she was too worried to think, she managed to at least tell bruce what was outwardly wrong with you.

"dart. left shoulder." she blurted, incapable of forming proper sentences now that she had seen more of you. the black lining your skin got her speechless and anxious. bruce got ready with medical gloves, removing the dart from your flesh before analysing the pattern of your skin. it looked familiar.

"FRIDAY, get tony down here. it's urgent."

"bruce, please, what's wrong with her?" she cried, tears now freely streaming down her face. she didn't cry much in front of anyone but when it came to you, you always managed to get her to do just that.

"hey, what's going on? FRIDAY said there was an emergency here, who's hurt?" nat heard tony's panicked voice but she didn't make an effort to reply. her gaze was fixed on only you.

tony's jaw dropped, frowning when he saw you on the bed, upper body covered in black lines. "what the hell happened?!"

tony stepped beside bruce, taking a closer look at your skin. his frown deepened. "wait, it looks like.."

"yeah, looks exactly like when you had palladium instead of vibranium in your arc reactor."

"does that mean—"

"palladium's been running through her veins for about twenty minutes now. FRIDAY, how high is her blood toxicity level?" bruce asks, sampling a drop of your blood from when he took out the dart.

"53% and it is still steadily increasing."

"tony, at the rate it's going, if she's not treated in the next fifteen minutes or so, she'll.." bruce pauses, not wanting to say it out loud.

"no, she just needs lithium dioxide. that's how fury and i cured your palladium poisoning, tony." nat finally speaks.

"SHIELD probably has them but they're all the way in dc. they're not gonna reach here in time," tony states solemnly, reaching over to move your hair out of your face, looking down at you sadly.

but he was immediately pulled aside, nat grabbing his collar and looking him straight in the eyes. "you have your stupid iron suits that can probably travel faster than the speed of sound if you try. you can go down there yourself and get the damn thing. i swear to god, tony, i'm literally going to destroy those stupid suits myself if you don't put them to good use." nat threatens, glaring at the billionaire.

tony's eyes widened, the genius having not thought about nat's idea yet. "yeah, yeah, you're right, i'll go now."

he left immediately and nat approached your bed hesitantly, not wanting to see the black lines making home on the skin on your upper body. "do you think tony'll make it back in time?" she sniffles and bruce's worried frown on his face softened. "of course he will. he won't let anything happen to y/n. we won't let anything happen to y/n." he assured her.

there was nothing they could do now but wait for tony to come back with the lithium dioxide. nat sat beside your bed, hands gingerly grasping one of your own. despite the black staining it, nat held it to her face and her tears rolled past the back of your hand.

bruce decided to give her some privacy, opting to inform the whole team of the situation instead of standing around idly.

nat pulled your hand away from her face, rubbing her thumb over the back of it, crying even more at the sight in front of her. "y/n, please. i've never told you this but i need you." she pauses, breathing in shakily. "i've always needed you and i'll always need you. you can't leave me, please. you said i could go on with life without you but you're so wrong, y/n. you're the reason i'm still here and you're the reason i still want to be here. if you're not here then it's as if i have no reason, no purpose. i need you, y/n. so much more than i'd like to admit. heck, probably much more than you need me. so please, don't leave me. i can't do this without you." nat sobs out, watching the patterns on your skin spreading and growing bolder.

at this point, the whole team had now gathered outside of the room, watching nat cry over you. they wanted so bad to get a closer look at their beloved baby avenger but they respected nat and instead, waited for her to finish talking to you. once she stood up and looked around, bruce knew she was done so he entered, followed by the team.

"status, FRIDAY?" bruce asks, sampling a bit of your blood again. "blood toxicity at 96% now."

the team looked your unconscious body in apprehension, some crying and some worried out of their minds.

"goddamnit! where the hell is stark?!" nat growled. her eyes were now puffy after having spent the last half an hour crying. the team had never seen her lose her cool like this but they figured why.

as if on cue, tony's iron man suit crashed through the windows of the room but he couldn't care less. his main priority was to get to you quickly. in his hand was a silver briefcase that he passed to bruce.

bruce opened the case before wasting no time in plunging the syringe containing lithium dioxide, your supposed cure, into you. immediately, the black patterns on your skin started disappearing. it was slow but noticeable. it started from the tips of your fingers, going up towards your neck.

everyone sighed in relief, and to tony's surprise, nat hugged him tightly. "thank you. you have no idea how much this means to me." she whispers. tony pats her back gently. "hey, i care about her too, okay? of course i'd do this for her. any one of us would."

nat smiles at him when she let him go, turning back to you and almost crying out in joy when your skin had finally turned back to normal. she let the medical assistants set your bed up and handle your sprained ankle before going back to sit by you. the team left her alone with you once again.

it was only about an hour later did you wake up, squinting when bright lights shone down on you. you moved around but you felt hands around your left and you heard a familiar voice.

"and remember when you dragged wanda to pull that prank on me with you and after you did, i grounded you like i was your mum or something?" you hear her chuckle, still not noticing that you've woken up.

"i didn't mind, though. frankly, i don't think i would ever mind if you continued acting like my mother or something," you spoke and she immediately tore her gaze from your hands, looking at you, now wide awake.

"bub!" she hugs you so tightly you didn't think you could breathe. you still returned the hug though, laughing. "i was worried you might still have some palladium in your bloodstream."

"wait, palladium?" you asked her in shock. "yeah, the dart that got you in that alley, it contained palladium. it's highly toxic so we used lithium dioxide to counter it. speaking of the dart, i'm going to find out who did this to you and they're never going to see the light of day for putting us through all of this." nat says, disturbingly calm.

"yeah...you do that," you tell her, slightly scared. "but palladium? in my blood? how cool is that? i had literal metal in my blood! i could've become like tony but like...palladium woman or something." you said excitedly.

"you do know we already have metal in our blood, right bub?" nat questions in amusement. "oh." you say dumbly. "and palladium don't belong in our body and you literally almost died because of it." your mouth opened but no words came out.

"speaking of, can you please not do that again? i really thought i was gonna lose you." she whispers, stroking your hair. "oh yeah, of course. i'll just announce to the whole world to not target the youngest avenger," you joke, smile dropping when nat gave you a stern look.

"nat, being part of the avengers at my age undoubtedly means i'll be a target for the bad people out there, but i don't care because while i get to kick ass, i know all of you have my back when it's my ass that's kicked. and i think that's the best part of being an avenger; the sense of security i get having you amazing people as my teammates." you tell her honestly and she smiles softly.

"oh come here you," she pulls you in for another hug but this time it's better because you could still breathe. you make yourself comfortable, snuggling into her.

"did you mean it?" she asked and you look up at her in confusion. "mean what?"

"when you said you wouldn't mind me acting like your mother."

"of course i do, you're like the mother i never had. i wouldn't even mind you being my actual mother." you say without a second thought, eyes widening when you realised what you had said. you swore under your breath, knowing you've just made it awkward between you two.

"i– really?" despite the teams efforts to make her see the truth, it was much more meaningful when she heard you say it yourself. "y–yeah.." you admit sheepishly.

"then you wouldn't mind if i actually adopted you?" she asks carefully, gauging your reaction. your jaw dropped, eyes going wide once again. "are you serious?!"

"yeah." she smiles at you fondly. "no! of course i won't mind!" you hug her tightly, tears forming in your eyes. you had gone all your life without parents so this was a huge thing for you. not only were you going to finally have a mother, but the most amazing woman you knew was going to be your mother.

"mum?" you tested the title, smiling when she acknowledged it. you were now crying in joy.

"hey, don't cry." she soothes you, running a hand up and down your back. "no, no, i'm just so happy. this is the best day of my life." you tell her. "me too, bub."

you stayed in her arms until you fell back asleep, nat tucking you in before going back to sit down on the chair. she looked down at you fondly.

sure, she was scared of the big step she was about to take with you but she had you with her and she knew that was enough. "i love you, y/n." she whispers, planting a kiss on the side of your head.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky

#marvel x teen!reader #avengers x teen!reader #avengers x reader #bruce banner x teen!reader #bucky barnes x teen!reader #clint barton x teen!reader #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #sam wilson x teen!reader #steve rogers x teen!reader #tony stark x teen!reader #avenger!reader

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