#and she’ll be damned if she lets that pest of a brother ruin this for her

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Am I a fool to think that there's a little hope - part 2

Not much really happens here, but they both had a lot to say, and I miss Aaron and Vic so I went with it. I promise Robert will actually appear in the next part!

It's dark when they arrive, the ferry being delayed and Aaron's tired of being in the car. Harry's been screaming for the past twenty minutes while they'd driven to the hotel and all he wanted was a shower and bed. He needed time to work out what he was going to do the next morning.

"We've got a bit of a problem." Vic comes back to the car, a set of keys in her hand. "There's only one room."

"Are you kidding? I told you we should've called when we stopped at the services."

"Alright know-it-all. How was I to know that the sodding Isle of Wight turns into holiday central? Anyway, there's a sofa in the room, and a double bed."

"Fantastic."

By the time they're inside he's in a foul mood and there isn't even a bar where he can drown his sorrows for a while.

"If you're just going to complain all the time, why did you come with me?"

"Vic, just leave it. I'm tired, that's all. I don't know what I'm doing here." Despite his words he gets down on the floor with Harry, smiling as the little boy passes him one of his blocks. "Thanks buddy."

"You're here because you're a good friend, and because deep down you want to see him because you still love him, even if you want to smack him for being so damn stubborn."

"What if...what if you're wrong? What if he did mean it, was just waiting for the chance to be rid of me. I ruined his marriage, I outed him to Chrissie...what if...what if he hates that I didn't support him with Lee, that I kept nagging him."

"Aaron you're talking rubbish. Robert loves you. Do you honestly think my big lump of a brother would've hung around in Emmerdale after everything if he hadn't loved you."

"You were there."

"As much as I know he loves me, I wasn't enough to keep him there. Do I have to remind you of every stupid thing he did when the two of you broke up? How many times you pushed him away and yet he still hung around because he couldn't bear to be without you? As for Lee, you were being sensible when he couldn't see how to. You're being daft, and you know you are. You're just trying to put barriers in the way and convince yourself of something so you don't have to face him."

"I hate you." He knows she's right, but that little voice kept nagging in the back of his head, maybe it always would. He could never rid himself of it, had done his best to ignore it but as soon as Robert wasn't around back it came.

"Yeah yeah. I'm going to take a shower. Can you keep an eye on him?"

"Clear off, me and Harry have manly things to talk about."

"Sexist."

"Pest. Go on, we'll be fine." He smiles as she goes, he's missed her. There'd been a gulf between them ever since Robert's sentencing, made worse by the Posner family hanging around. Maybe now they could get back to being friends. "Your Mummy is silly isn't she, eh?"

He picks the little boy up, holding him close. He's barely spent any time with him, it'd been so hard seeing him when he was first born, too much after losing Robert. It wasn't his fault though and he resolved to be a better uncle, if Robert couldn't be.

"So, you're going to meet Uncle Robert tomorrow, eh? He's pretty great you know, even if he does get himself into some messes. I know he's not been around and he'll just be this stranger, but he loves you already, and maybe if we're really lucky he'll be home soon, and then you'll see just how great he is, and maybe you can meet your cousin Seb too."

He swipes away a tear, thinking about Seb. He wonders how big he's grown, what he likes doing, whether he still hates peas. He wishes he'd fought harder, had tried to make Rebecca see sense, that cutting him off too was going to confuse him even more. He wonders if he even remembers Aaron at all, let alone Robert.

"Mama?"

"She's in the shower. You're stuck with me." He lifts him into his lap, letting him lean into his chest, nearly asleep. "What am I going to do, eh?" He checks his phone again, only a missed call from his Mum which he ignores. He knows what she'll want so there's no point answering. There's nothing from Ben and he's not sure whether to be relieved or hurt.

He doesn't sleep much, the sofa in the room is far from comfortable, and he ends up on his phone as dawn breaks. He still hasn't decided if he wants to go with Vic. It's not that he doesn't want to see Robert, of course he does, but he's tried so hard over the past year and a half to move on, he doesn't know if he can cope with seeing him.

He's about to get up when Vic suddenly dashes from the bed into the bathroom.

"Vic? You alright?" He knocks on the bathroom door gently. He doesn't hear anything until she opens the door looking as white as a sheet. "What's up?"

"It must be something I ate, maybe that sarnie on the ferry. I feel awful."

"Get back into bed, I'll make you some tea or something."

"You're going to hate me." She tells him a few hours later, when she wakes up, still looking pale.

"Doubt it." He gets back onto the floor to play with Harry.

"I don't think I can go to the prison, not like this. You're going to have to go." He looks up, half wondering if she's planned this. If she didn't look so awful he'd believe she had.

"What? I can't."

"You have to. He's expecting me. Do you really want him thinking I changed my mind? Thinking he's all alone?" She's right, it'd crush Robert. It'd taken so long for him to agree to see anyone, if no one turned up then he guessed Robert would never agree again. "Please. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't have to."

"Fine. What about Harry?"

"Can you take him? I need to sleep, and besides I want Rob to meet him."

"You owe me, you know that don't you?"

"Yeah, I know. Have you heard from Ben?"

"No."

"He'll come round, when you explain." He shrugged. "You like him, don't you?"

"Yeah. He's been great with Liv and everything."

"What about you? Just being there for Liv isn't enough is it? I know that...well me and Luke, it wasn't like me and Adam, but I still...I loved him."

"What's your point?"

"That he likely won't live up to Rob, just like Luke wasn't Adam, but if you like him, if you think you can love him then you should try...but if you're just with him because you're lonely, or because you think it's good for Liv then is it a good idea for either of you?"

"So...if no one will live up to him, I should just be on my own?"

"No. Look, if he wasn't in prison, you'd still be together right?" He nods because of course they would. "All I'm saying is make sure whoever you are with, you're with them for the right reasons. I feel for Liv with everything going on, but he can be there for her, and you as a friend, if that's all you think it'll be. Don't force it. just because you think you should." She smiles a little. "And if you still want him, then make sure you tell my stupid, stubborn brother that he's an idiot for cutting you off and that you're going nowhere."

He laughs at that. Now he was faced with no choice his mind was full of what he wanted to say to Robert.

"Ok. I better get sorted then." Suddenly he was glad he'd run home to get a change of clothes before they'd left. He didn't want to face him in the ratty old t-shirt he'd been wearing.

Robert was going to see what he'd missed. Maybe it was petty and it wasn't his fault, but it didn't hurt to look good did it.