#and she doesn't remember most of this!! yay!

[galadae]

tales from the aether - ffxivwrite2024

chapter 1: steer words: 902 | rating: G | occurs before ARR | ao3 link

“Easy, Gotie.” Calantha grips the old bird’s reins. Byregotia - a mouthful, Calantha thinks, at least for a chocobo - turns her head at the sound of sudden crow calls from overhead. “They promised you’d be easy to handle,” she says, stroking the bird’s neck, trying to calm her. “But you’re just a bundle of feathery nerves, aren’t you?” 

She’s not sure who she’s speaking to, the bird, or herself. Who wasn’t a bundle of nerves, nowadays? The red moon looms almost low enough to touch, and there’s nothing to do but carry on as normal. She’s gotten used to not thinking about it, as long as she can look the other way. So she’s glad when the road winds into a short, rocky ravine that obscures it from view, along with the golden rays of early sunset. 

“We’ll stop for the night soon,” Calantha says, as reassuring as she can manage. “There should be a town a few malms ahead…” She reaches behind her for the map, then decides against it. She’s already checked too many times today already. It will only be the same as the last time she looked.

Calantha adjusts her pack on her shoulders, happy she’s not on foot. Lift with your legs, don’t let your back bend. You don’t want to ruin your posture. Or worse, hurt yourself. Ever since she began working, her mother had taken extra care to ensure she knew how to keep herself in shape. She shakes her head. None of that advice would help the back pains that came from days on the road with still more malms to go. 

She’s never been to Mor Dhona, but the ones expecting her delivery offered higher pay for discretion. Which meant no carriages or transportation she couldn’t keep track of herself. She sighs. Not sure why they didn’t pick someone who could use the aetheryte already.

Still, money was money, and she ought to prove herself reliable somehow, even if that meant walking for it. This was her first job, after all. It’s up to her and Gotie to get things done. 

Calantha casts a wary glance behind her. The road is clear of travelers this late in the day. A lonely sight, but a good one. She doesn’t fancy running into any more of those Garlean patrols that had passed her by over the last few days. They all seemed to be going the same way, at least, so she could avoid them by stepping off the road. She didn’t think they’d have a reason to stop her, but she didn’t want to risk it. 

Another crow calls. Gotie lurches and Calantha falls forward onto her neck with a yelp. The chocobo stops, looking up, her wide wet eyes dark with alarm. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Calantha shifts in the saddle. She rights herself and checks over the saddlebags. “It’s just a bird. Like you.” No damage to the goods. She breaths a sigh of relief. The wind gusts, howling through the ravine. She shivers. Following Gotie’s gaze, she peers up. Orange clouds lit by the sunset pass through the sky, with more birds overhead. 

“See? Nothing to be afraid of,” she says. She takes the reins in a firm hand. “Let’s go.” Gotie stops, dead in her tracks. 

“Gotie! I said let’s go. Come on.” Calantha kicks her heels into the bird’s flanks. Gotie chirps in protest, shuffling her feet. Her head whips around as she listens for something that Calantha can’t hear. 

Calantha groans, throwing her hands up. “Fine. We can rest here. Since that’s what you want. Not that I have any choice. But I promise you’ll be much happier if we go just a little farther–”

A low roar, like applause, starts in the distance. Calantha scowls. She stares at the sky again. Nothing has changed. “Come on, Gotie.” She nudges the bird forward. “It’s alright.” 

The roar grows louder. Gotie prances in place. “Gotie, I told you–”

The bird bolts. Calantha almost pitches from the saddle and catches herself, holding onto the reins for dear life. Gotie hurtles forward at a speed she’s never run before. It’s all Calantha can do to keep her balance. She shouts at her, trying to slow her, to steer around the turns in the road. It’s useless. Gotie careens out of the ravine, crashing against the rock walls as she skids in the dust. Calantha slams against the rock with a sickening crunch. She feels herself slip from the saddle, her ankle twisting horribly as she falls. The breath leaves her lungs as she hits the ground with a thud. 

All is silent but the sharp ringing in her ears. Her vision swims. She sits up, coughing, covered in dust, her ankle and head throbbing. Gotie is nowhere to be seen. “Damn it all,” Calantha mutters through gritted teeth. She tries to stand and the ringing in her ears fades to the roar, once more, even louder. It’s suddenly dark.

She looks up. 

The sky is black with every bird and insect in Thanalan. Their calls threaten to deafen her as they rush eastward. She covers her ears and stares. Wind gusts from the west, whipping her hair around her face. She shakes her head, trying to see through the mass of creatures in the sky.  Her heart pounds. Something isn’t right. 

The horde clears away, and she sees the sky turned deep red.

[lev1hei1chou]

When their child wants a sibling

Dad!Gojo x reader, Dad!Nanami x reader Genre: Fluff Masterlist Requests open!

GOJO SATORU

"Mommy, can I have a sibling?" your five-year-old daughter, Hikari, asked as she plopped down next to you on the couch, her eyes wide and hopeful. You were in the middle of reading a book, and the sudden question caught you off guard.

Gojo, who was lounging on the other end of the couch, immediately perked up. "A sibling, huh?" he mused, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "That sounds like a great idea."

You shot him a look. "Satoru, we need to talk about this first."

"But Mommy," Hikari interrupted, "all my friends at kindergarten have siblings. I'm the only one who doesn't."

You sighed, closing your book and putting it aside. "It's not that simple, sweetheart. Having a sibling is a big responsibility."

Satoru scooted closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "She's right, Hikari. It means sharing your toys, your room, and your parents' attention. Are you ready for that?"

She nodded vigorously. "Yes! I promise I'll be the best big sister ever. I can even help take care of the baby!"

You looked at Gojo, who was trying to not laugh. "Well, I suppose we can think about it."

"Yay!" Hikari cheered, jumping off the couch and running around the living room in excitement.

Gojo leaned in and whispered in your ear, "Looks like we're in for some fun times ahead."

Later that evening, after Hikari had been put to bed, you and Gojo sat in the kitchen, sipping tea. "Do you really think we can handle another kid?" you asked, looking over at him.

"Of course we can," he replied confidently. "We're a great team, and besides, Hikari will make an awesome big sister."

You smiled, feeling reassured by his words. "I guess we could start trying."

Gojo's grin widened. "That's the spirit! And, you know, the trying part is the most fun."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help laughing. "You're impossible, Satoru."

A few weeks later, you found yourself in the same spot on the couch, Hikari sitting on your lap this time, telling you all about her day at kindergarten. Your husband was, as usual, lounging next to you, pretending to be deeply interested in a magazine.

"Mommy, did you and Daddy think about what we talked about?" Hikari asked suddenly, looking up at you with her big, innocent eyes.

You exchanged a glance with Gojo, who gave you a slight nod. "Yes, we did," you said. "And we decided that we're going to try to give you a sibling."

Her face lit up with joy. "Really? When?"

"Well," Gojo began, putting down his magazine, "it might take some time. Making a baby is a little complicated."

Hikari frowned, clearly not understanding. "But you can do it, right?"

Gojo chuckled. "Yes, we can do it. You just have to be patient, okay?"

"Okay!" she agreed, and then ran off to play with her toys.

You turned to Gojo, who was trying to suppress his laughter. "You're enjoying this way too much," you said.

"I can't help it," he replied. "It's just so cute seeing her so excited."

Days passed, and Hikari kept asking every now and then about her future sibling. Every time, her dad would give her some humorous yet evasive answer, like "We're working on it," or "These things take time."

One day, you and Gojo sat Hikari down for a serious talk. "Baby, we have some news for you," you began, holding her small hands in yours.

"What is it?" she asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"Mommy is going to have a baby," you announced, watching her reaction closely.

She gasped, her face lighting up with excitement. "Really? I'm going to be a big sister?"

"Yes, you are," Gojo confirmed, ruffling her hair. "But remember, it means you'll have to be very patient and very helpful."

"I will! I promise!" Hikari declared, hugging both of you tightly.

As the months went by, she was true to her word. She helped pick out baby clothes, decorated the nursery, and even tried to learn how to change diapers on her dolls. Gojo, ever the doting husband and father, made sure you were comfortable and happy, always ready with a joke or a warm hug.

One evening, as you all sat together in the nursery, she looked up at you and Gojo and said, "Thank you, Mommy and Daddy, for giving me a sibling. I can't wait to meet them."

You smiled, tears of joy in your eyes, and pulled her close. "You're going to be the best big sister ever, Hikari."

Gojo wrapped his arms around both of you, his voice soft and full of love. "And we're going to be the best family ever."

NANAMI KENTO

The sun peeked through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room where Nanami and you lay snuggled in bed on a lazy Sunday morning. The peace was interrupted by a small figure bouncing into the room with unmatched enthusiasm.

"Mama! Papa! Wake up!" Your energetic four-year-old, Haruto, exclaimed, jumping onto the bed.

Nanami groaned playfully, his arm draped over his eyes. "Haruto, it's too early for this much energy."

You chuckled, sitting up and ruffling Haruto's messy bedhead. "Good morning, champ! What's got you so excited?"

Haruto grinned widely, his eyes sparkling. "I want a little brother or sister!"

Nanami lifted his arm and squinted at Haruto. "What?"

Haruto nodded enthusiastically, his hands gesturing wildly. "Yeah! I want someone to play with!"

You exchanged a surprised glance with Nanami before bursting into laughter. "Oh, sweetheart, where did that come from?"

Nanami sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Haruto, having a sibling is a big responsibility. Are you sure about this?"

Haruto nodded again, his determination unwavering. "Yes! Like in the storybooks!"

Nanami looked at you, a mix of amusement and disbelief on his face. "Well, I suppose we should consider it."

You smiled at Nanami, silently agreeing that it was a discussion worth having later. "How about we start with breakfast, and then we can talk more about it, okay?"

Haruto nodded eagerly, already bouncing off the bed and heading towards the kitchen, his request seemingly forgotten in the excitement of pancakes.

As you all gathered around the table, Haruto dug into his pancakes with fervor, occasionally pausing to chatter about his favorite cartoon or his adventures with his friends at preschool. Nanami sipped his coffee, occasionally interjecting with a question or a gentle reminder to eat properly and slowly.

After breakfast, while Nanami tidied up the kitchen, you took Haruto to the living room where his toys were scattered about. Sitting down among the stuffed animals and building blocks, you leaned in closer to Haruto.

"Hey, buddy, about what you said earlier..."

Haruto looked up from his toys, eyes wide with anticipation. "Yes, Mama?"

You smiled warmly, trying to find the right words. "Having a brother or sister is a big decision for us grown-ups too. It's something we need to think about carefully."

Haruto nodded seriously, his brows furrowed in thought. "But Mama, Papa, I promise I'll be a good big brother! I'll share my toys and teach them everything!"

Your heart melted at his earnestness. "I'm sure you would be, sweetheart. We'll talk more about it, okay? Papa and I will figure out what's best for our family."

Haruto nodded again, seemingly satisfied with the answer, and resumed playing with his toys. You watched him for a moment, marveling at how quickly he was growing up. Glancing over at Nanami, who had finished cleaning and was now watching the two of you with a soft smile, you knew you were on the same page.

Later when Haruto was napping after lunch, you and Nanami spoke about what your son had started.

"I never thought we'd be having this conversation so soon," Nanami mused, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on your knee.

You chuckled softly, leaning into his touch. "Kids have a way of surprising you, don't they?"

Nanami nodded, his gaze warm and fond as he looked at you. "I think Haruto would make a wonderful big brother."

You smiled, feeling a swell of love for both your husband and your son. "He really would."

One day, after putting your child to bed, you found yourselves lingering at the kitchen table, a stack of pamphlets and notes scattered between cups of cooling tea. Nanami glanced up from a particularly detailed chart of baby essentials, his expression thoughtful.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked quietly, his eyes meeting yours over the rim of his glasses.

You nodded, reaching across to take his hand. "I think so. Our little one is growing up so fast. It feels like we have so much love to give."

He squeezed your hand gently, his thumb rubbing circles on your skin. "I agree. And he's already so excited about the idea of a sibling."

You smiled, thinking back to the countless times your child had brought up the topic, from drawing pictures of a baby with their older sibling to asking if you could name the new addition after their favorite cartoon character.

[lawofcollage]

From a Campaign Perspective: Why Endorsing Kamala Harris Makes the Most Sense

Yay, Biden stepped back! (if this is how you found out and not the supernatural alert system meme... oops)

Let's talk about why Kamala Harris makes the most sense even if she, like Biden, is not one of our first choices (though she's higher on my list, certainly)

(My credentials: Former campaign worker, poli sci degree, etc)

It'd be really fucked up for him to step back and cause a PR disaster for the Dems. Kamala Harris has been at his side this whole time. Stepping over her, a woman of color who has already been doing much of the work, would cause a public relations crisis.

Kamala Harris has name recognition. We know who she is, and we at least vaguely know what she stands for. Name recognition is hugely important in an election and we do not have enough time to build it right now. This is not the time to pick someone that we've never heard of before or even vaguely never heard of.

She's run a campaign before. She knows how to do this, she has a platform that she can modify a little as needed and be ready to go over night. She has the donors from last time and everything.

She's already got a campaign schedule for Biden, she can modify that easily to suit her own needs and has more freedom to campaign than the current president because she's *not* the current president, she doesn't have COVID right now, and she's not older than dirt.

She is perfectly capable of making Trump look like a fucking idiot on stage. The highlight reel is gonna look so much better next time, hopefully.

Personal speculation: I think people are far less likely to sit it out with her name at the top of the ticket.

So what should you be doing right now?

Let's start simple. Understand that Biden did what many of us wanted right here. He stepped away from the campaign he was running and handed it off to someone younger. Fuck yeah!

Also remember that anyone who encourages you not to vote likely has an alternative agenda that involves you having less power to use your voice.

Ok, what else?

Check your voter registration here.

Not registered? You’ve moved and it’s out of date? Update your voter registration/registration here.

Don’t forget to vote up and down the ballot! Local elections matter, and hopefully you’ll find someone you’re a lot more passionate about on a local level.

And make sure your friends do the same!!!!

This website also covers what you may need to bring with you the day of. Some states require you to bring your ID, for example, so go check.Your state may have early voting options, and you should definitely use those! They make life a lot easier. You can check those out here.

P.S. Make sure to check your voter registration closer to the election as well, just in case. Probably sometime in September would be best, but just keep an eye out.

[elliesmainhoe]

Hey there vivi, I think your work is cool <33 Wanted to ask what you thought of Ellie and girlfriend having IVF with both their genetics/eggs so they both have a biological child together. Know it’s not possible yet but im thinking about a Ellie with biological kid. Tmi but im ovulating so this is what im thinking ab rn. Not asking you to do a little blurb if you don’t want to, but wanted to know if you like the idea of Ellie and her kidd, ngl i think is interesting and adorable. Much love!

omg I fucking love this idea!!!! she would be so silly , I wrote some headcanons for this so hope you like it!!!!

ELLIE WILLIAMS HEADCANONS: YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HER (biologically)

okay let's say- distant future, lesbians can now have biological babies (yay technology!)

when you tell her that your pregnant girlie is gobsmacked, even though you two were actively trying. (aka raw dogging every night)

goes through a crisis, buys baby books, pregnancy books, looks into a ton of birth and labour options

shes prepared for everything, goes to Joel to find advice about taking care of a pregnant woman and what to do with a newborn

GRANDPA JOEL????

stop that would be the most adorable shit ever, him sitting on his porch, yours and Ellie's babe on his chest, giving you two a break

stopppp 😭😭😭😭

anyways getting off topic-

she's literally so much more a doting loser than she usually is (which is a feat in itself)

gets you all your cravings, chocolate? done. pickles? done. chocolate AND pickles together? fuck it she'll try some too.

loves decorating the nursery in your house

PAINTS A DINOSAUR AND/OR SPACE MURAL IN THE ROOM???

the nerd indoctrination is already happening.

her and Joel make loads of custom furniture, adjustable crib, rocking/nursing chair, changing station.

the nursery ends up looking so cute, with loads of earthy tones and greens but also an array of rainbow toys.

OMG THEY MAKE YOUR BABY A ROCKING HORSE??

shed be so supportive during labour

whatever birth method you choose shes so supportive, makes you a little emergency bag just in case you go into labour

loves skin to skin

after the birth, you're exhausted of course, so you're sleeping and she's alone with a newborn baby???

honestly thinks that the baby looks a little funky

when babies come out they're squished, red and all silly looking

they're cute of course!!! but Ellie is still hoping your babe grows out of the squished tomato, potato phase?

skin to skin is her favorite thing

having the baby laid on her chest is genuinely the sweetest thing ever

she 100% cries when your baby grows out of their first onesie

she's so sentimental, keeps everything your kid does or has

old dummies (pacifiers if you're American), baby toys that the kid doesn't play with anymore, the umbilical cord? it's in a ziplock bag somewhere.

wears the baby in those baby back pack things (I can't remember the name LMAO)

when the baby starts teething she's always making jokes about how you've given birth to a feral baby.

jokingly scolds the baby when they start biting when you breastfeed them

dresses the kid up in the funnies outfits

the baby's dresser is basically a fancy dress box by now. dinosaur costumes, teddy bear costumes, pirate costume?

literally everything

---------------

I now have baby fever. kms.

not proofread

she's the best mum especially with a newborn

[oneofthosebells]

The more I sit with S3 of Young Royals, the more I love it. I feel like it gave us the revolution we were promised but it was personal instead of systematic, and that's okay.

Sometimes you can't burn down everything, some systems are too entrenched to change overnight. But even so you can choose to change yourself, and you can change the people around you, and you can learn and listen and grow. You can choose to put yourself first when you're up against an enemy that's too big to fight and the fight is making you lose sight of who you are. You can choose to walk away from the toxic situation. You can choose the friends that help you grow over the friends that hold you back. You can choose yourself and your friends and your family over the person you have romantic feelings for. And those are all revolutions in their own way.

Hillerska closes, ending the cycle of bullying and abuse. But the elite will fight to open it again because of course they will. That's how it works. The rich and powerful will always cling on by their fingernails to keep the status quo that works for them. (As Terry Pratchett put it, they'll "do what the aristocracy have always done, which is trim sails and survive.") But even if it does re-open, that doesn't undo all the good done by closing it, because things will never be exactly the same again. The school inspectorate will be breathing down their necks, they'd probably have to replace all of the board and most of the staff to re-open, and a few parents at least will re-consider sending their own kids there. Remember how Henry said the school was having problems finding students even before all of this happened? The old regime can't hold.

The monarchy wobbles, but will survive - or will it? Like the school, it's run into big problems. The monarch doesn't look like she wants to do this any more. Her consort is, let's be honest, about as much use as a jelly pickaxe. The only heir they have left is a teenage sex offender with an eating disorder and a pill addiction. So maybe it too is on its way out. Or maybe, like the school, they'll fight to save the institution at all costs, and probably they'll succeed; but something fundamental has shifted. A seed has been planted.

I just really like all the loose ends and unanswered questions tbh. I know it didn't work for some people, which is fair enough! But it really worked for me, because it feels realistic. That's life. This is a small snapshot of 9 or 10 months or so in the lives of a bunch of teenagers. Of course they're not going to have all their issues sorted out yet. Some won't have even realised what their issues are yet (cough, August).

But what this ending gives us is some small, personal revolutions in the present and hope for the future. (For the characters we love, anyway. August is a bit screwed. Yay!) And I think that's beautiful.

I don't think S3 was perfect by any means. There's things I could nitpick if I really wanted to (#JusticeForMaddie). But I just don't want to? Because everything we did get I love to bits, and that's more than enough for me.

[bones4thecats]

Aaaa yay requests are open again! (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

Hmmm... Could I request Valentino, Vox, and Velvette in a platonic/familial relationship with a young demon reader?

Also, could the reader have the ability to 'charm' people - but not in a way that makes others fall in love with them. Instead it causes the target to perceive them as objectively cute (like a baby otter, or a puppy) - although it doesn't prevent cuteness aggression. (Essentially - they can make people perceive them as adorable. Or more adorable than they may already be lol) (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

I hope you have a great day! Remember to hydrate! (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

- 🧑‍🧑‍🧒 anon \⁠(⁠･⁠◡⁠･⁠)⁠/

The Vees With An Adorable-Child! Reader

Characters: Vox, Valentino, and Velvette Requester: 👪Anon A/N: This was fun to write, and like my last two posts, this is shorter than normal. But hey, I've released multiple posts in one day! Haven't done that in quite a while!! ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Mentions of SA and abuse (not directed at the Reader) ⚠️

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Vox ═════════════════════════════════╝

📺 When Vox first saw you with Velvette, he was alarmed. Why did she keep saying you would be useful for any future plans? You were a damn child!

"Velvette, do explain. How in the name of Hell is that- that BABY, supposed to be of use to us?"

"You'll see someday, Voxy!"

📺 Rolling his eyes as you giggled and kept messing around with some stuffed animals that Velvette and Valentino had bought you a couple days prior, Vox had to admit, there was something off about you being around

📺 And that feeling became completely cleared when you finally revealed you abilities to him

📺 As an up-and-coming star in Hell's media, you were hunted down by many individuals, so the Vees ended up traveling with you everywhere. Either that or they'd have some bodyguards surrounding you

📺 One day, Vox had decided to take a walk around Hell with you out of sheer boredom. And while he looked away for a couple minutes to tell a waiter that he just needed the food straightly to-go, he noticed a sound of giggles and awes in your direction

📺 Looking towards you, he saw a group of sinners applauding you as sparkles and other cutesy-things surrounded your form. It was like your adorable charm was ramped up to another level in their eyes

📺 You then giggled which then made them adore you so much to the point they all became aggressive with one another, tackling and attacking one another harshly in front of the other demons around

📺 Vox smirked as the waiter handed him a couple bags of the food for the Vees and you to eat at home. Maybe you could be of use with getting others to convert from Alastor's old-timey radio to Vox's new-timey technology

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Valentino ══════════════════════════════╝

❣️ When Valentino first saw you, he had to admit you were quite the cute child!

❣️ He went from physically beating another sinner under contract with him to kneeling in front of you and giving you a small hat identical to his own, including the antenna!

❣️ Val is by-far the one who spoils you the most. He gives you all kinds of stuff ranging from children's toys (he knows not to give you adult ones) and outfits that look close to his

❣️ One time, he gave you small sunglasses like his, but they had tiny teddy bears on the rims , and seeing you wear a tinier version of his entire outfit made him swoon and almost cry tears of joy at your cuteness

❣️ He is also one of the first demons to ever see your abilities. One day, one of his producers for an upcoming movie had begun to yell at another actress, one that you had become quite close to

❣️ You became angry and used your Overlord magic against him, charming him into becoming aggressive with himself. Resulting in him tearing his own fur out and for the other crew members to call an ambulance to go to a nearby Hospital

❣️ Valentino walked up to you and patted your head and nuzzled your forehead before giving you a sugar-filled comment

"Your abilities are definitely ones to not mess with, niña/niño. You should be proud of yourself for having such magnificent power in the palm of your tiny hands."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Velvette ═══════════════════════════════╝

📳 She was the first demon to come across you

📳 Velvette had been taking random photos to test out a new filter she was making when she came across you. You were such an adorable child! Just standing there with a fancy outfit and big-cutesy eyes!

📳 She asked if you wanted a photo and when you said yes, she smiled and took a selfie with you. And when she looked back, she noticed you looked somehow cuter with some demons ogling you from the back

📳 Obviously this was sadly normal in Hell, but she noticed how they ended up pouncing on one another and begin trying to tear one another's limbs off/out

📳 You just smiled and giggled at their actions, and Velvette gained an idea. What if you came by V-Tower with her and became a main piece in her new child-outfit line? You seem like the perfect model for some outfits, after all!

📳 She was initially met with backlash from both of her partners, but after Valentino saw you, he had to love you like an uncle would a child immediately. And when Vox spent time with you, he began to care for you in the same way

📳 Every time you use your abilities on others, Velvette smirks and laughs manically at the wild actions of the other demons around you two

[skunkes]

ok detailed surgery experience

i made this schedule (?) of the major events as soon as I left while I cld still remember (and still kinda forgot!) i like knowing the Times of stuff so I asked my dad to take note of Times for me, and tried to ask for the time where i could

surgery I got was a laproscopic bilateral salpingectomy, full removal of the fallopian tubes only!

Misc details off of dis, obviously TMI territory as its a medical procedure.

The second blood draw (they took blood from me yesterday tooooo) hurt less and more somehow. Nasty nasty bruise forming.

IV really was the worst part of it ! I'd get weird throbs of frustrating pain long after it was in

I was given compression stockings that went right up to my crotch. Your toes stick out, and they put hospital socks over your feet. Some additional compress wraps were placed above my knees.

Pre op/prep didnt take too long at all. I know I have it listed as over an hour of waiting, which always made me nervous to read in other people's experiences, but it doesn't really feel like waiting. The TV helps pass the time, as do the people who are with you if any, and the nurses popping in with help or instructions or updates. The prep room was small and the bathroom was next door. The double doors open to wheel you out. Remote was given toe to control the TV and also call the nurses via a speaker.

The nurse who wheeled me in was nicest, she pronounced my name Correctly and was also really funny and friendly...

In general I knew this surgery was going to go well because I was actually able to fall asleep last night. I've stayed awake/tossed and turned for events far less stressful. Dis was also due to part of it kind of not feeling real for me! And being wheeled into surgery room added to that! It didnt feel real, it felt like watching one of many scenes from medical media of the same point of view.

I did start quaking and shaking once in the surgery room (also small, I did not look around much in fear of it making me panic last minute!)

They had me scoot from the prep bed to the surgery table. There was a pink foam headrest for me to slot the back of my head into. They strap you in with arms out like ur being crucified and thats when it became more Real for me so i started shaking a lot, but I can't tell how bad it was under the heavy blankets. I think I shook more and for longer when I went for my MRI (which also isnt/wasnt scary but the body freaks out for no reason). Im surprised at myself for being so Calm ykwim

Anyway, strapped in, had monitoring stuff stickered onto my body: my sternum, side of body under chest/armpits, and another pair I cant remember where. Hair was put up in hair net. My hospital gown was untied as the tie starts halfway across your body and goes under, but this was not done in an invasive-to-privacy way, and I was still fully covered by it (and then recovered by blankets)

(3 separate people asked me how many kids I had throughout this whole venture, and were Shocked at my response. This was the other most nerve wracking part as I started to get weirdly anxious that someone wouldn't like this and cancel my surgery or something. One of the Askers was the anesthesiologist.) Doctor/surgeon came in and asked if i was ready and talked about how he loved being under anesthesia LOL. Everybody was speaking about their opinions about childbirth and sterilization and parenthood, but amongst each other and not to influence my decision, along with telling each other to set up XYZ. Once again everybody is charmed by Cheye's usage of the word "yay"

Ive never had surgery before, so I was worried about anesthesia. In my mind i was imagining it to be being fully lucid and then your vision darkens and takes you, which was scary to me like i dont wanna be freaking out and then immediately KNOCKED out!

But it was gradual which actually made it more calming for me...the funny nurse put the oxygen mask over me, I got very nervous bc she said to take deep breaths and honestly i couldnt even breath much at all in it, and breathing out also felt very restricting and like I was going to choke, but it wasn't Distressing. I just breathed slowly and it worked anyway.

In a few seconds I felt a cool tingle in my arm that then sort of burst into my torso, and my whole body felt really light and my eyelids draggggggged half closed, but it felt very mechanical and involuntarily (like slowly closing window blinds...or like how the brightness options on a 3DS are numbered buttons ykwim? Like, Closing 1, Closing 2, Closing 3, Closed Halfway, all pressed in quick succession). Heavy heavy heavy. I stayed in that half closed state for a while! (Probably not even a full minute, but it also wasn't instant...i still had time to think and Hear conversation etc, as well as feel that there was some mechanical thing tightening around my spread arms along with the hand adjusted straps)

The funny nurse was telling me to relax and have sweet dreams and that they wld take care of me and such. And then I was out. I do not remember my vision fully fading or eyes fully closing, in my mind they stayed in that half closed state.

Ive heard ppl say it feels like blinking and waking up, but it did feel like sleep to me!!!! I know dreaming under anesthesia isn't really a thing, but waking up felt like....i was really waking up like normal and trying to remember traces of a dream after several hours of sleep.

I always thought it was silly seeing ppl ask if the surgery was over when they come out of it, but I did that. But like i swear it came out involuntarily??? Like i knew it was over....i think it was because I couldnt really SEE anything when i woke up, I could only hear staff speaking to me, and I can barely remember what they said. Vision was VERY very blurred. So I guess that question came out as substitute for Where Am I, and Who's Here With Me? Speaking felt like when audio unsyncs from a video, with my voice trailing far behind my words. I also remember being really bewildered bc there was some sort of residue on my lips, like when they're chapped and dry and cracking. I learned later this was bc of the intubation but i Didnt Know That Yet so i was just scared and thirsty.

Adding another "pain was less bad than the average period which has one Doubled Over" statement to the pile. Pain was at 3/10 or 4/10, which is to say if period pain is a whole abdomen event, this pain was small little bruises occasionally being brushed up against, just small throbs of sore pain in the 3 incision spots. I got an incision inside my belly button and that was the most present sensation, but that might also be bc I hate anything having to do with that area in general 😭 always feels weird.

My throat felt very DRY. It wasn't pain yet, it felt like when you're thirsty + dehydrated and your lips stick together at any slight moisture, but in the throat. Kept trying to look around and wiggle my fingers and toes in hopes that'd help me Come Out Of It sooner bc not being able to see was really frustrating me. I could not make out the face of the person watching over me for some time. I really wanted water !

HORROR when the person looking over me said i had a catheter still in me. Nightmare I wasnt counting on actually happening and wasnt mentally prepared for. I was told I would have one placed (make sure to ask if this is a concern for you!) but i thought they'd take it out before I woke up... I cldnt even feel it in me when I was told this! Which is good.

The staff of course had to remove blankets and open my gown a bit to access the area. But I did not feel any distress about this at the time.

Had a very funny slow motion distress response bracing self for removal. It did not hurt or sting at all, it just felt like [something I cant describe here]. Just pressure! It was pulled out gently but quickly of course.

After 1 hr i was wheeled to a separate private recovery room. The nurse uncovered my lower area to check if incisions were doing good so far as well as to check if I had been provided with a pad/underwear, as some patients have blood or other fluids come out as a result of the surgery.

parents came in, was so grateful for juice but in dismay over my food item being orange (i dont like citrus flavor) jello (i dont like jello 😭) i consumed all of both.

I also worried I'd feel weird about throwing my body parts away. But I dont feel anything ^_^ just feels very awesome and natural

Sore throat started further developing. Nurse came in after some time here, taught me how to Get Up. Was scary! I was worried about it hurting, but it was just more soreness.

Was able to go to the bathroom, went a very little bit but it was enough. I was very scared about seeing my incisions and being disgusted by them....but I caught a glance and it was Okey Yey. They are covered in surgical Glue and dont look gnarly, swollen, red or anything they look very cool ^_^ got dressed in stages as there was nothing to set clothes down on and sat back down on the bed. The bathroom connected to another room where somebody else was preparing for surgery.

Nurse came in with final post op instructions, upon describing nausea to me my skin got cold, stomach activated and krusty krab exploded with it. She was just barely able to get me a bag to throw up in. This exacerbated the throat pain. She encouraged me to get it all out especially since I also expelled gas, which is a good thing.

IV removal didnt hurt! Same level of pain as the tape around it being yanked off. I couldn't even tell it was over. I was wheeled out of the hospital. ^_^ i wore an oversized dress my sister lent me, and cheap target sandals so I wouldnt have to bend to tie shoes. My dad pulled up the car right outside. I brought a pillow to be a barrier in between the seat belt and my stomach.

Its 6:48 neow and I am laying down, but the pain is (currently) the same. I had another nausea (and release. Also exacerbated throat pain.) spell (while in walmart picking up the pain meds), was boiling alive in my very hot room, and was a bit dehydrated which may have contributed to some misery and nausea but as of right now I'm ok, i changed into lighter clothes, drank water, ate a bit, and situated self in a room with ac....i worry about getting up and becoming nauseous again 😭 i hate throwing up.

People are right about it being more discomfort than pain! You have to walk around every few hours, and it doesnt hurt but every step feels like my bellybutton is kinda pinching inward. Being tugged at from the inside. Ive gotten to a point where even chuckling makes me feel this very Sour soreness (not regular dull soreness) so maybe ill start the meds soon if necessary.... Squatting to sit doesnt hurt in a debilitating way, neither does actually sitting or putting on/stepping into clothing.

I couldnt nap because laying on my side doesnt hurt the incisions or anything, BUT its just the strange discomfort again. The weight of gravity on the body makes the incision sites feel very very weird in an abstract way i cant describe. It isnt pain. It feels like a mismatched sensation of some sort. Like if you touched your nose and somehow felt the touch on your knee. Adjacent to this. A very specific sensation sits in all the incision sites and drags down through your mattress to the ground and it feels Weird.

If you get up properly it really doesn't hurt to do so! Use your leg to get yourself fully onto your side, then use your arm to push yourself up into a sitting position.

I am very nervous from when all the good strong hospital meds wear off t_t i heard the day after is a struggle because of dis. but ive got the prescribed pain management on hand (extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol with codeine!! O_O) neow at least ^_^;

OH, AND THE DOCTOR TOOK FOTOS OF MY INSIDES LIKE I ASKED! ^_^ 🫶 I have glossy printed souvenir now! I dont exactly know wtf im looking at but its awesum LOL maybe i will ask for details at the follow up!

[blacknedsoul-blog]

Random Thought of the Day (VIII)

So, posh besties are finally canon, yay! Congratulations Annabel, you only had to die, get divorced, survive an assassination attempt and have about 4 or 5 mental breakdowns to make one (1) friend, that is progress! Hopefully the next one will take less effort.

That said, there are two things I want to dwell on here.

I should like to by your friend and Could we be friends?

This is not the first time we've seen Annabel ask or tell someone outright that she wants to be friends. It's the second.

Yes, Lenore is not only Annabel's wife, but -possibly- her first proper friend. And it's really interesting because these scenes show you two really different sides of her, even though it's a similar situation.

When she meets Lenore, Annabel comes across as a very confident person, full of confidence and absolutely charming. She is formal but approachable and straightforward about her intentions: "We can help each other".

On the other hand, at this point, Annabel is keeping the reasons she wants this friendship to herself, she seems nervous -even a little uncomfortable- and behaves much more awkwardly. She hesitates, chokes on words, doesn't quite know if what she's doing is appropriate.

If I had to think of reasons for this contrast, there are two.

First: Annabel when she has time to plan vs. when she has to improvise. She went looking for Lenore, probably had at least an entire night to think about what kind of person this mysterious woman locked in the attic might be and how to approach this conversation. On the other hand, this conversation with Prospero had to be pulled out of her sleeve after a lot of emotionally complicated moments, maybe it didn't occur to her that this conversation could actually happen, and she has no plan B if Prospero rejects the offer.

On top of that, Annabel knows better than anyone the risks of getting attached to someone in Nevermore.

Second, that the scene with Prospero functions in some way as a reflection of Annabel's feelings when she first meets Lenore: there's no reason to believe she was any better equipped to enter into a relationship with anyone at that point in her life than she is now. But in this scene, we -and Lenore- see what Annabel wants to show, the parts of herself that she may find most attractive or pleasing. Here, Prospero gets a glimpse of her awkward and uncomfortable side, and I'd bet that awkwardness was present in that first meeting with Lenore, it's just that she had a chance to think about it, rehearse it, and thus hide those sides of her character as well.

The thing that makes me think of it that way is this:

Annabel's first gesture to Lenore is to shake her hand, which she also mentions here:

She still doesn't remember doing it, but the idea behind it is more or less the same: Annabel associates this kind of formality with friendly or amicable gestures; a mixture of business dealings and affectionate promises.

Again, the same intention, but with a very different performance. One that makes me wonder what exactly her thoughs when she went to see Lenore.

The Introvert Who Adopts and the Extrovert Who Is Adopted

Another thing that got me thinking about this whole thing is that so far we've seen Annabel -a very introverted person- be the one to take the first step in getting into a relationship with someone: she's the one who asks the question.

The funny thing is that even though Lenore is an extrovert, it was the other way around, she never took the initiative to start a relationship with anyone: Annabel came to see her, Morella is her assigned roommate, Duke came to talk to her, Pluto was won in a Pokémon swap (and she didn't choose him, Ada threw him under the bus), and Eulalie and Bernice approached her first.

I can see why this would happen from Annabel's side; she's a person who moves in the shadows, someone who lives by appearances and isn't afraid to manipulate or deceive to get her way. Under this premise, explicitly telling the people she cares about that this is an honest relationship feels like something even necessary for the sake of the relationship and her own mental health.

But in thinking about why this is happening to Lenore, and going back and reading chapter 22 to do this little analysis, I remembered this scene:

And…I don't know about you, but I think I'm going to pin this one. For now.

[echantedtoon]

Ocean Deep Ch16 Miscommunications And Escape Plans

(Warnings: Mentioning of Yn's wounds and Koyuki's illness.

I bring food to all you Tengen simps. Also a quick recap of the Mers fish tails because someone asked me to add them as they forgot. I also included the other boys so everyone's caught up.

Kyojuro is a lionfish mer such as the one drawn by yuki2sksksk linked below.

Tengen would be a white butterfly koi fish mer.

Makio is a Golden Dragon Koi mer

Suma is a (all blue) Halfmoon Betta Fish mer

Hinatsuru is a Strawberry Peacock Cichlid mer

Giyuu is a Demanson's Cichlid mer purely because I think the colors match him perfectly.

Sanemi and his family are bullshark mers and look like the link below. Same artist who drew the Mer Kyojuro.

Akaza is a Betta Fish mer also by the same artist linked below.

And Finally Obanai is a Coral Reef Snake mer specially the black and white version.

taglist: @six-eyed-samurai @lavenderdrxp @jjamsbangtan @camilo-uwu @hopefulworld1

@shadyd3ar @amypop122 @azuredragonstrike

@mimisweetz @chaoticoperatorduckhairdo @staarflowerr @aleee-386 @summrwalkr

@nicora04 @miniverse-zen

Remember if you want to be added to the tag list lemme know.

Your eyes widened. 

A pair of puckered lips came at you-

And warmth hot your face as your hands quickly covered your mouth and Tengen ended up kissing the back of your hands. The feeling of something that wasn't your lips caused him to blink his eyes back open and blinked just inches away from your wife eyed red face.

He blinked before pulling away and giving you an annoyed pout. "Hey! What gives?! I caught you fair n's square!"

You could only stare up red faced and blushing. "W-What the heck is wrong with you?!" You stuttered out muffled by your hands still firmly clasped over your mouth. 

"Me? You're the one who decided to tease me and ran away! Now I caught you and now you I kiss you then you chase me..Or I can just chase you again if you prefer.~" You did NOT find the playful smirk he wore handsome and you did not squeak when he growled out. Rubbing his nose into your hands and letting out a content sigh. 

In the distance behind you somewhere, there was a loud splash like someone hit the water in anger before cursing. "FOR FUCKS SAKE!! FIRST THE BETTA THEN THE FLASHY FUCKER!! HOW THE HELL ARE THEY HAVING MORE LUCK THAN I AM?!"

You could barely make out the angry shouting. You couldn't see anything past the giant torso- HOLY SHIT HIS MUSCLES WERE HUGE!! You were terrified of his size and build before because of all the damage he proved he could do but now-

"My eyes are up here, Darling.~ My chest doesn't talk..Well not in same way my mouth does.~" You could've fainted right then and there when he intentionally made his muscles flex.

She gave the most attractive squeak as a strong hand found itself suddenly holding her hand, strong enough to pull it was Your mouth as his other arm had no problem holding you bridal style against him. A deep hum escaped the man as he pressed a closed eyed kiss to the delicate skin. Strong calloused fingers slipping between smaller delicate ones. Warm breath sending goosebumps along the soft flesh giving way to a shiver as he smiled wider against the flesh. Again. Again. His lips were pressed against the hand until eyes opened and found himself sighing in content. Goosebumps spread under his touch as a hand gently placed itself under her chin, claws gently dragging along the skin as he directed her head too him. A shiver from her body, warmth caressing her face as orbs shrouded by deepened desire and half lidded by a want. 

Warmth spread across her face and a moment later lips melted into a kiss. He made no comment back. Embracing the woman against his chest tightly and deepening the kiss, his embrace increasing slightly. Smaller hands found themselves gripping the front of his haori. Everything blurring and unimportant, the only thing that mattered was this woman in his grip. Her everything. His everything.

T H E I R    E V E R Y T H I N G.

Suma's. Hinatsuru's. Makio's. Kyojuro's. All thiers. Her sweet lips. Her beautiful smile. Her shining eyes. Her soft touch- A shiver ran through her under his hands when one hand found the side of her cheek, a rumble from his chest showed amusement much to her embarrassment. He had her right where she was supposed to be, in his arms and his own-

Until a distant woman's scream sounded out.

"UZUI!!"

You turned away from the warmth slightly to peer up startled at the surroundings although that didn't deter the merman who continued trailing kisses from the corner of your lips to the bottom of your left cheek, white hair tickling the left side of your face. The form of a highly concerned pink eyed woman rushing towards you both.

"K-Kanae-"

"Eh. Ignore her."  A hand gently tugged your face back towards him and once again your lips met-

Until another scream pierced the air making you turn away from him again as he trailed after you but stopped when you placed a hand over his mouth. "S-S-STOP!!"

He blinked as you pushed his head away from his own flushed worse than a school girl getting kissed by her crush for the very first time. ..Until his free hand reached out to gently touch yours and kissed the inside of your palm gently. Making you jump.

"TENGEN, PUT HER DOWN!!", Kanae shouted almost panicked as she rushed over towards you both. Picking up the hem of her dress and kicking up sand as she skidded to a stop in front of you both. "BAD MERMAID!! PUT HER DOWN!!" 

You squeaked out loudly when you were suddenly grabbed by Kanae and yanked free from Tengen's grasp and you stumbled onto your feet, nearly falling over on your stomach if Kanae hadn't pulled you back upright. Her face twisted to an angry scowl to Tengen before snapping a concerned look at you.

"Y/n, are you alright?," she asked as you clutched at your chest.

Your heart was hammering like a herd of wild horses stampeding, and your face burnt like a fire was lit under your skin. And you were pretty sure you were shaking because your legs felt like jelly you canned. "....I t-think m-m-my life flashed before my eyes."

"Ah! I'd expect nothing but that kinda reaction from my flamboyant kisses." Kanae shot the merman another scowl as he winked. "I'm a very well experienced lover- HEY!!" He sputtered and leaned back down on his belly to avoid the wave of sand cascading over his head from a woman's foot. "What gives?!"

"SHOO!! ALL OF YOU GET!!" Kanae shooed her arms at Tengen giving him another kick of sand when he didn't get moving. "Go on! You scared her half to death chasing her down the beach like that! Shoo!"

He gave a small cat like hiss when the sand hit his scales. "Hey! Lay off! She initiated courtship first- AH! ALRIGHT WOMAN!! You sure enjoy taking the fun outta love y'know that?"

Tengen gave another puppy dog kicked look at you..but turned and started dragging himself back across the sand and towards the water. She held her annoyed frown watching him until he slipped into the water his tail giving a few snacks to the surface before her gaze then turned towards the left and narrowed at the other mers around her.

"That goes for the rest of you too! I won't have anymore trouble from you today." More shooing motions from her hands were made towards. "Go on. Shoo, shoo, shoo! Back to the ocean with you."

You shakily looked up from where you stood, and froze as at least three other mers besides Tengen were staring at you all. THERE WAS MORE OF THEM!? You jumped as the long snake creature hisses lowly but turned and disappeared slithering behind the large rocks he laid on. The second one who had white hair and large pointed ears gave her a look of pure hurt, as if he actually was physically hurt by her words.

"But..Kanae, I-"

"Sanemi, just-..!" Her head turned away from him and her eyes closed refusing to look at him. "Just go home! Go away and leave me alone already! Y-You've done enough!"

There was a silence as the mer in the Water's eyes widened and.. became slightly watery. Before he let out a growl and with a loud THUNK disappeared back under the blue surface. You could vaguely make out his greyish form quickly swimming away towards the south before he vanished completely. Another splash made you look further away and saw Shinobu waving a hand at the water as ripples temporarily distorted the rolling waves. There was nothing but silence for a moment until something suddenly appeared in front of you making you jump as Kanae's frowning face appeared before you annoyed.

"Where were you this morning?", she demanded in a tone harsher than her soft face executed,arms crossed. "You worried Koyuki sick with pulling a stunt like that! It's very dangerous here if you aren't careful!" She gazed over your nightgown as you still clutched it. "And you're all soaked! Did Tengen do this?"

"N-No!" You quickly held up your hands in the merman's defense. "I fell in myself. I-It's a long story. A-Actually he's the one who helped me get back up. "

"Well don't you run off again! You're in enough trouble as it is-" She stopped noticing a familiar white haired jewel covered head bobbing in the water suddenly being joined by a head of firey hair and three ladies.. She grabbed you hand with a jump and pulled you quickly towards the large house. "Inside quickly."

"Y/N'S BETTER!! LOOK!! Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!," You heard Suma's unmistakable voice calling behind you but surprisingly Kanae was quite strong for a petite girl.

You were quickly pulled across the beach, up the few steps, and straight through the open door by Kanae as her sister calmly followed behind you both much slower. You were stopped only when you were pulled into the room Koyuki was still in, only this time Mitsuri and Kanao was there too. By their position you guessed they were watching the skirmish outside from the window. 

"This is serious." Kanae let go of your hand matching back into the hallway muttering to herself as Shinobu finally walked in with her slow pace. Watching calmly as her sister walked by and stuck her head out the door to make sure no one was there before sliding the door back shut licking it in the process. "At this rate none of us will be able to go home, and all of our hard work will be jeopardized."

Her footfalls came back up towards the hallway and once again reappeared. Everyone watched as she stepped to the window and locked it as well before drawing the curtains dosing most of the light just as Shinobu walked in too.

"Kanae, calm yourself."

"I am calm. I'm also just really worried!", she frowned at Shinobu who hummed before looking towards you.

Her eyes looked you up and down raising a brow at how soaked and covered in sand you were. "Let me guess. She tried running off the island."

You blinked. "How'd you know?"

"We did that the first day we were brought here." Another hum. "..I think we should explain it to her. It's obvious she's involved like us so it'd save everyone else the headaches."

Kanae slowly sighed and nodded in agreement. "You're right but first let us get her cleaned up and into some warm clothes."

Twenty minutes later you were happily seated in a circle on the floor, in a normal dress, and had your hair wrapped up in a towel as everyone else sat still. Mitsuri was nice enough to make everyone some tea and handed you a cup after Shinobu looked over your wounds again to make sure you were still alright.

"Thank you." She smiled at you brightly as you took the cup of green tea from her. "I didn't know that tea leaves grew on the island." 

"They don't. We just found a few sealed tins of it in the back," Mitsuri clarified.

"Well we should be getting back on topic." Kanae gave a glance from where she stood out into the hallway. It must've been noon by now. She closed the door and locked it too, nevermind the front door was also locked and turned back towards you all. "Alright. Straight to business then." Her look could cut diamonds as she looked at you. "How'd you come to be here?"

You blinked. "Didn't they already tell you? I was attacked by a crazy stalker and they apparently brought me here. I don't even know exactly where here is from the coast still."

"How'd you meet those mers out there?," she pressed harder.

You frowned now. Didn't they tell them that too? Maybe they just told Tengen? "I found them by accident in someone's barn except for Kyojuro. I found him washed up along the river while fishing."

Shinobu turned to her sister with a smile. "That matches up with what we were told. She's alright to talk to."

Kanae nodded still not looking away from you. Instead she slowly sat down by Kanao. "That's good. Then we won't bother you with anymore unnecessary questions." Thank goodness for that at least. "Y/n what happened between you and Tengen while you were gone?"

You paused raising the warm cup to your lips to blink at her. "Oh that?" You shrugged. "To be honest I don't exactly know. He kinda just went crazy and started chasing me down the beach like I was a full course meal or something! By the way-" You pointed at her giving a deadpanned look. "-nothing with a fish tail should be allowed to crawl that fast on land. It's a freak of nature!" Mitsuri giggled at your response and you shot her a frown.

"Well what were you doing before he did that? What did he say? It's important."

You hummed slowly removing your stink eye from Mitsuri who still looked amused. "Well, I fell in the water and he was nice enough to get me out. And then we mostly talked. He's very braggy that one."

"That definitely sounds like the fish. All glitter no brains."

You resisted laughing at Shinobu's description of Tengen and just nodded. "Yep. That's him. He said he just wanted to apologize and make sure I wasn't dead and thank me for helping them." You shrugged again making sure to take a long sip of your drink before continuing. "Oh. I also got him to promise not to sink anymore ships so that's something."

"What happened just before he started chasing you?" Shinobu rose a brow. "You must've done something to get him excited."

You thought about it for a long moment. "...Nothing really. He joked about me using CPR as kissing so I told him I'd never kiss him if he was going to be like that but im different words." It was then the five other girls gave each other wide eyed looks. "...What?"

"Y/n. Did you tell him that in a normal way ..or were you teasing him?"

You blinked. "We were joking around. He's the one that got in over his head."

"Oh..Ooh no."

"Oh no what? What's going on?"

They slowly looked at one another before Shinobu inhaled. "I'll just come right out and break the ice!" She clasped her hands and turned back to you with a strained smile. "Y/n. Mermaids play chase with each other when they're romantically interested."

There was silence in the air as everyone looked between Shinobu and you.

You stared widely. "...What?"

"And his teasing you was in actuality his way of flirting with you. In his point of view you were totally flirting back."

"WHAT?!" The cup nearly tumbled from your hands.

"Did any of the others try any certain behaviors when they were with you?" Shinobu continued casually as if you weren't in total shock. "Grooming behaviors such as combing hair? Or maybe they tried to feed you something?"

"I-...W-Wait! What the heck was that last bit you dumped on me?!"

"Answer the questions please."

"Y-Yeah..All of that actually but what has that have to do with me?!" 

"Did any of them try giving you anything? Like maybe seashells or fish or even something valuable?"

"I-"...You paused. Eyes going wide when you remembered a certain fire haired merman and his ring. "Oh gods... Kyojuro tried proposing to me- B-BUT I GAVE HIM BACK THE RING AND TOLD HIM NO!!"

"Well good news! They don't think you're married! However they probably think you're most definitely interested."

"What? But how?! I clearly didn't want anything and I told them that!"

"You see that's the problem. They don't have the same understanding as we do. I think you should take a look at the book we found. It explains everything!"

"Book? What? You were so confused right now. First you were talking about Mermaid coupling and now a book?

You didn't get much of a say before you were just handed over a book. A blue covered book by Koyuki who practically waved it in front of your face. You blinked before leaning back to take in the faded words carved and then inked into the cover. ..'A Researcher's Guide To Magical Creatures And How To Avoid Them Vol. 1.' ... You rose a brow and turned to Koyuki and then back to the two sisters.

"We found it on one of the shelves while we were looking around. We think a researcher left it here on the island while studying them. It's been really helpful in guiding us around this trouble. Opening it to chapter five."

You still didn't know what to think about this, but decided that you had nothing to lose, so the half empty cup was slowly placed down onto the floor next to you and your hands slowly took the book from Koyuki giving her a small thanks. ..F/c eyes looked at the book, then at the girls, then back to the book.. Before hands slowly opened it and started flipping through the pages. Chapter one centaurs. Chapter two elves. Wow. This was a pretty thick book. Every chapter must've been at last a thousand pages each. Chapter three- Ah. Here we go. Mermaids and Sirens. Apparently there was a difference??

"Skip to like fifty pages in." Koyuki pointed out to you.

..Ok. If it'll get you answers faster. You flipped through about that much until bold words on top of one page in particular caught your eye. 'Courtships And Pod Units.' You gave another glance at Koyuki to confirm this was the page she wanted you to read, and began reading once her smile confirmed it.

'In all my years of studying these water dwelling beings and their habits and habitats, it was very difficult to study something that lived somewhere where no human could really go. Luckily the individuals of this isle were able to trade certain items for certain favors from the local population. Intrigued by this strange ordeal, I traveled to the smallest of these isles and brought gifts of simple jewelry and exotic foods such as jerkied elk meat and raw steak that usually they are unable to get their hands on.

I was extremely lucky and found a rather unpleasant large great white mer and his eight wives. Two of which seemed to be koi fish in origin with their tails while the others varied from other shark based mers to more tropical colorful coral reef fish. The male seemed rather hostile to me at first and refused contact until I offered the gifts in trade for info.

It seems like the rarity of the meats intrigued him enough to change his mind and agreed to answer some of my more difficulty answered questioned.'

EIGHT WIVES?! Wow. And you thought Uzui had a lot of partners. You briefly wondered if this merman was the one Tengen was referring to when he mentioned taking over this territory before reading more.

'While he himself was unpleasant, his wives were all very polite and sweet women who gladly answered my various inquiries while trying on the simple bronze jewelry and passed around the meat. I've noticed first in behavior between pods are different. The last pod I interacted with was a small pod of two husband and their wife whom was the pod leader and had at least two children present.

The female accepted my last gift of delicious ribs in exchange for a few of their lose scales to study. The order she fed her family was her children first, her husbands second, and then herself as leader last. I thought this order applied to all pods until I met this unpleasant fellow. Instead of feeding his wives first, he snapped and hugged most of it to himself. Gluttonous man to say the least. So it seems while the heirchy system is the same, not all pod leaders are generous to their spouses.'

Talk about rude and selfish!

'While not in depth I've managed to get a very good chunk of information that I'm sure will help future generations navigate the waters surrounding these fantastic creatures. The main bulletins are certainly good to keep in mind especially for wondering maidens getting close to the shoreline.

-If a mermaid/merman wishes to court another then they usually do things to show their worth. Example being bringing back big game like a seal or shark to prove they can provide food or gifts of polished shells or jewelry to show off wealth. Sometimes they'll even spare with a love interests' family member to show off strength.

-The type of courting habits depends on the type of mer or water creature they are. For example:

Seal mers, or selkies as they're called, will offer their potential partner an opportunity to touch their seal skin while in human form as a sign of trust and interest.

Shark mers will often show off scars and bring back large prey to present to a potential mate to show how fiercely they can protect.

Crustacean mers will offer dances being crab/lobster mers.

Sea dragons might offer a piece of their treasure hoard or recite poetry or knowledge.

However the most common signs of courting is offering valuable resources/objects. But again it varies from water creature to mer.

-Mers don't really have a concept of monogamy or polygamy. Some just prefer one life partner while others sometimes have multiple partners. It's not uncommon for them to have more than one partner. To them it's really just normal.'

Well that explains a lot about Tengen and his family of mers. And why Rengoku tried giving you a ring. And why Suma tried feeding you that catfish a long time ago.

'-It's more common for the women to take the last name of the males but again this isn't always the case.

-Pods are usually categorized by two: Family Pods and Neutral Pods.

FAMILY PODS: Usually the most common and very big varying on the mers. These are usually made up of just family members. Usually a pair of parents and their partners, and their children. Sometimes a family pod will be very big with grandparents, along with uncles and aunts and the main partners' siblings but it's less common.

-There is always one leader in every family pod, usually it's the father of the children. They are in charge of leading the pod and have the final say on things.

-The children are referred to as guppies or pups.

-Ever heard of sharks having a nursery for their pups? Well mers have a nursery for their children too. It's usually hidden and guarded to avoid predators or hostile mers.

-Usually a mer doesn't leave on their own until they're anywhere about sixteen to twenty years old.

NEUTRAL PODS: These are just pods made up of three or more random mers. Sometimes it's a trio or more of romantic partners but most commonly it's just a group of random mers. Neutral Pods can be made up of family members but more often than not it's just random mers who decided they liked each other enough to hunt together, partners without children, or they're made up of mers who just decided to hunt together as they live in the same area.

-If you encounter a neutral pod made up of romantic partners it'll be very easy to tell who's the leader of said partners. The leader will be decorated in the most jewelry. Usually this jewelry is made of home made seashells and stolen trinkets. However if they're in contact with a lot of valuables like gold, jewels, etc then they will have most of it decorating their body however they will also adore their partners in said jewelry as a form of wealthy status and it's sort of like their version of a wedding ring.

-The main leader of said partners is usually the one that gives out the jewelry or gifts amongst his or her partners.

-a neutral pod isn't considered a family pod unless made up of family members or if a neutral pod of partners has children.'

Actually...That explains why Tengen is absolutely covered in jewels and jewelry. WAY more than Kyojuro or the girls. Does that mean that Tengen was the one who gifted them all of that stuff?

'-Mers are highly territorial. Not that an area can't be shared by multiple mers but usually a lone mer or pod has a specific amount of territory they own over.

-Because of their highly territorial nature, male mers will often be covered in scars from fights over territory, fights over a mate, or fights over treasure. LOTS of times fights between them often result in scars, severe injuries, and even death.

-Physical grooming like combing each other's hair, helping to remove loose scales, or just physical touch in general is seen as an intimate act on the same level of a romantic kiss on the cheek so usually it's only reserved for romantic partners or family members.'

A very large glass sound went off in your mind. Eyes going wide open like an owl. ...Say what?

'-Mermaids mate for life like swans do. Unless the other partners/partner dies then they won't really take on another partner.

-THIS is why humans must be very careful when interacting with mermaids/men of any kind. If you do encounter one the following rules Must be kept in mind.

1. If you encounter one of these fantastic creatures be sure to mention a present partner casually. Even if you do not have a significant other, the mere mentions of a partner will detour most interest from yourself.  

2. Keep your interactions platonic. You must never insinuate romantic interest to one. Even the slightest hint of possible interest will make them pursue.

3. Avoid talking about romance or future goals outside of mentioning your partner. Never mention children to them. Talking about children with them insinuates the interest of finding them potential parents to have children with.

4. Keep your distance. Allowing touch is a huge sign of trust and interest of physical contact. Keep as physical far away as possible if you can and do not allow contact to be initiated.

5. Absolutely above all else NEVER accept gifts. Gifts are usually only given out as a proposal of interest. If accepted then consider yourself doomed because any outside romantic interest will result in retaliation and usually does not end well. 

-Mers who're able to keep a human partner are usually seen in higher regard as not everyone can keep one. This is why steps must be taken to ensure the human doesn't end up in hot water. And why many young mers are attracted to the aspects of having a human spouse, not really taking into consideration the blatant difficulties of a relationship like this.

-Mers will also play chase and fight with each other as a display of playful behavior. Reminds me of behavior I've also encountered when I spoke to the Beastmen tribe of the Southern Kokkori Forest. They display a similar playful behavior with their own mates and children.

All the information I gathered was limited but very useful! I'll try bringing back some gold and silver coins and more meats in two weeks time to see if I can get a better description of their underwater homes.'

The book was quickly closed with a loud thud sound and you just stared at nothing really. There was quiet for a long while before Shinobu bluntly asked-

"So how much did you mess up?" Both her sisters shot her a look but you groaned raising the book to your head.

"A lot! Kyojuro asked me about having kids once!" You felt so embarrassed pressing your blushing face deeper into the book. "How was I supposed to know that letting them brush my hair was flirting?!"

"Yep. She's screwed."

"You're not helping any!"

"Let's not argue right now." Kanae gave a worrying glance at the window looking for movement..but sighed when she saw nothing. "There's more serious matters to be dealt with right now. Like getting home."

Your body stiffened before you slowly looked up from the book to poke at eye at her. "Wait. You've actually been trying to get back?"

Kanae nodded. "For nearly the entire time we've been here. You see we weren't the first ones here." Kanae turned to the girl right next to you. "Koyuki was actually here the longest. Kanao was taken here as they've seen her gathering common healing herbs. When she couldn't help her, we were next."

"But why would they need three healers?"

"I get sick often." Koyuki looked embarrassed and shameful almost looking away from the others around her, shuffling deeper into the blanket around her shoulders. "That's why they're here."

"They promised they'd let us go once Koyuki's condition got better, but.."

"Let me guess. Those other mermen got attached and decided to change their minds?"

Kanae sighed. "Yes. Exactly. Unfortunately the only one who seems to understand that we don't want anything to do with them is Giyuu."

"Giyuu?"

"The merman you saw with Shinobu earlier. He's actually very understanding and let's my sister study him without trying to court her. He's the one who's tail looks like a demanson's cichlid fish. Unfortunately he's still unwilling to help Shinobu or ourselves off the isle."

"But if you two two can't leave-" You glanced at Kanao who blinked at you. "-then why hasn't she gone home? She doesn't have anything to do with them, and Mitsuri doesn't either."

"Because if she went back then she could just tell someone where we are, and unfortunately its Obanai who likes her. He's the sea snake you saw." Kanae shook her head. "But we've been coming up with an idea. You just happened to arrive just in time too."

You blinked and looked over at her. "You mean an escape plan?" She nodded. "What kind of plan?" 

Before she even said a word, she made a 'shush' motion with her finger to her lips before getting up. Going to the already closed window to pull the curtains back just enough to peek out, sighing when she saw nothing. Then going to the door to quietly open it before peeking into the stil locked home before quietly closing and locking the door back.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure Obanai wasn't inside with us, or Tengen was still lurking about." She half whispered turning back to you. "Obanai can go on land and actually lives on the island with us, and Tengen has incredible hearing even more powerful than a normal mer's. Sometimes Obanai will come inside without telling us just to talk to Mitsuri."

"I don't mean to put out plans in trouble!," Mitsuri shuffled still holding onto the tray she brought the cups on. "H-He just likes to talk I-Is all."

"We're not taking any chances after what happened last time."

"Last time?" There was a last time? What happened last time?

"There's an old shed that was attached to one of the damaged homes that's still hear. Kanao found a boat that we could've used to escape with, but Obanai caught us talking about it. The boat not escaping with it." Her expression saddened. "The next night when we went to get it, we found it smashed to nothing but splinters." Your eyes widened. He smashed a whole boat to keep them here?! No wonder they were taking precautions. "But we have a plan! Can we trust you to help us?"

You blinked but nodded. "Anything! I want to go home too!"

She smiled widely. "There's a full moon at the end of the week. Every full moon there's a rapid power of a current right near where we currently are. It brings up a bunch of fish and so they all either go out hunting or sleep. If we can get a boat to that current, it'll take us near a piece of land we can leave through within a few hours."

"Uh. There's a problem. I thought you said the boat was destroyed."

She smiled wider. "It was but we found another perfectly usable under some old debry. It's big enough for all of us if we squeeze in. So what do you say? Will you help us?"

You nodded. "I'm in!"

She nodded. "Alright good. Here's what we still need. I found about three oars but we need to see if we can find some more, and a good bucket in case there's a sudden leak. Until then everyone needs to act as they usually do and don't mention anything about-"

"KANAE!!"

All six of you jumped up as a rather gruff and powerful voice called out the name of one of you. What was-?

"KOYUKI!! I'VE RETURNED! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" A different but still loud male voice called out to another one of you.

What the-?

"Y/N!!" "MITSURI!!" "SHINOBU!!"

What in the world?!

A whole chorus of voices were calling your names minus Kanao who got up and went to the very large window. Throwing the curtain open, unlocking it, and pushing it open to peer out. 

"Kanao! Hey! Can you tell the girls to come out? By the way, have you met my brother?! He thinks you're really cute!!"

"SANEMI DON'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT!!"

"It's true!" 

"NO IT'S NOT!!"

You all looked at one another.. before slowly getting up and walking to the window too. The book forgotten about as you helped Koyuki up and along with everyone else gathered by the window. It was large enough for all six of you to stand there and look out only to pause at what you saw.

They were back! 

All of the mermen you previously saw plus your friends and two new ones. One was right next to the shark mer. They looked similar enough to be related only his hair was more black and he looked young, around the same age as Kanao. He took one look at all the pretty ladies looking out- His face turned an immediate red before he dunked his head back underwater. Aw. He was actually adorable! The other one though-

Whoa.

He was actually very colorful and unusual looking compared to the others. Pink hair. Greyish skin. Weird blue stripes. He was certainly a strange looking one. He brightly absolutely happy at Koyuki and raised a hand to wave at her.

"Koyuki, we're all gonna practice spare! I'm so happy to see you again!," he called out making the girl pushed the bottom half of her face into the blanket.

"KANAE, WATCH ME KICK THIS LOSER'S ASS!! YOU'LL LOVE THIS MORE THAN THE JEWELS!!"

You all turned to Kanae who turned red and turned her head away from your prying eyes. You guessed that one was Sanemi. 

"GO TENGEN!! GO KYOJURO!! GO TENGEN!! GO KYOJURO!!"

Hey. That voice you definitely knew! You leaned out more and looked up the beach towards the right. A cluster of rocks was there sticking out of the water and on those rocks were three female mermaids you knew all too well. Sitting aside and happily watching the spectacle their husbands made towards the pumped up males. Suma loudly waving and cheering on the two men sitting there. 

"Been a while, Akaza! I thought you were never going to come visit again!," Kyojuro greeted the man before him. 

"HA! You wish! Like I'd let you think I'd let you claim my winning streak!"

"Never the less, suggesting we all spare is a great idea! It's been so long since I tussled!"

A loud smack noise sounded off next to Kyojuro as Tengen smacked his fist into his other hand. "Kyo and I verses you and Obanai?! HA! Neither of you two stand a chance!"

 Obanai hissed in response and Akaza shot an annoyed look at Tengen. "Big talk for a guy who can only fight puny humans and their ships!"

"Ooh! I'm so scared. You're still butthurt over Kyojuro rejecting your flirting to get with me instead. And can you blame him? Look at me!~" His muscles tensed making them flex and his wives give off a few loud squeals. Kyojuro not to subtly also turned his head toward his torso. "Who could resist this flamboyant body?~ Can't cry because my chest is bigger than yours.~"

"OH YOU SON OF A BITCH!!"

You stared as Tengen sent a wink at you- Only to get tackled backwards onto the water by a pink blur and a loud splash. ....Well, no one could be more embarrassed that Tengen right now. 

"Giyuu, don't be so mean to him!"

You looked over. A black haired merman was laying on top of the shark Merman, holding him in a choke hold while his upper half was under water. The shark guy thrashed about flailing his arms to try and get a hold on the one on top of him, bubbles cascading up around his head as it was held underneath the water screaming profanities you were sure shouldn't be said around Kanao.

"...Whelp. I stand corrected."

[justmeinadaze]

I Miss The Misery (Steve X You)

"Just know that I'll make you hurt

(I miss the lies and the pain what you did to me)

When you tell me you'll make it worse

(I'd rather fight all night than watch the TV)

I hate that feeling inside

You tell me how hard you'll try

But when we're at our worst

I miss the misery."

A/N: From my previous post, I mentioned I've been feeling some type of way and every time I hear this song I think of mean Steve every time.

Warnings: Mean, Toxic Steve X Fem Slightly Toxic Y/N, SMUT of the rougher variety, public sex (bathroom, office), daddy kink (cause im me), smacking, choking, degrading (brat, whore), ANGST, some gas lighting from Stevie, he's definitely not a good guy, cheating (mentions of him cheating on her; reader cheats on bf), she talks about how his behavior excites her sexually but she's aware of how toxic that kind of thinking is. I think that's all.

Kind of inspired by an ex I had and the way he treated me. He bounced off of each other negatively and I remember telling my therapist that I thought the reason I kept going back to him was because "at least I feel something." I haven't seen him in 4 years so Yay for healthy relationships! :)

Doesn't mean we cant enjoy some toxic smut with Steve Harrington.

Word Count: 6317

“Hey, honey. Rough day?”, you coo at your boyfriend as he comes through the front door with a heavy elongated sigh. 

“Yeah. These assholes that bought our company are changing everything and it’s starting to piss me off.”, he grumbles while taking a seat at the dinner table as you crawl into his lap and kiss his temple. 

“You should say something. Tell your boss you’re sick of the changes and the disrespect. They need you and your team, baby.”

“Naw.”, he gently smiles as he hugs you tighter. “It’s fine. I’ll get over it.”

Smothering your own frustrated sigh, you grin as you kiss his lips before heading back to the kitchen to finish the meal you were making. You never understood your boyfriend’s passive aggression when it came to most things. Any time anything bothered him, he’d vent and stomp his feet but in the end, he did nothing. 

You had never dated a man like him before. Most of your past boyfriends were toxic to say the least but what they didn’t know was you were always trying to recreate a feeling someone from your past gave you. The feeling of being desperately needed to the point that they would break down a door to be with you. That passion that followed jealously or a fight that they most likely started but you definitely instigated. That feeling of being…alive. When you couldn’t find it in anyone else, you decided it was best to move on to something healthier. 

Jacob was a good person who doted on you hand and foot. If you had a bad day, he would hold you and if you just needed someone to talk to he was more than accommodating. When you two fought, if you could call it that, you could scream and be mean and all he would do is sigh and say things like “I understand why you would feel that way. I’ll try and be better.” When you two were intimate, he was incredibly vanilla, only ever being sexual in bed and usually missionary. The few times you tried to explain what you wanted, he never seemed to understand. 

“You want me to hurt you??”

“No…not exactly. I just want you to be…rougher. SHOW me how much you love me. MAKE me feel it.”

“You don’t think I show you enough how much I care about you?”

“No! I mean yes…I mean…Gah! Never mind.”

 “What’s, uh, what’s the name of the company that bought yours again?”, you ask as you grab a beer bottle from the fridge and pop it open. 

“Actually, babe, I was going to tell you. I did some research on them and it seems they originated in your hometown Hawkins. It’s a company called Harrington & Co.” The sound of glass shattering causes Jacob to jump up and immediately run to the kitchen where he finds you wide eyed with beer now swimming around your feet. “Oh my god. Are you okay?! Don’t move, you don’t have shoes. Let me clean this for you.”

“Harrington? Like Bill Harrington?”

“Yeah! I was going to ask if you knew them.”, he continues as he kneels down and begins to clean broken glass before wiping at the liquid. “Supposedly, from what I read, Bill Harrington retired and left it to his son Steven. Did you know him? He’s about your age.”

“Where the fuck have you been?!”

“What do you care, sire?! I’m not your fucking girlfriend remember?”

“That doesn’t stop you from coming to my house at fucking 2 am begging to ride my dick!”

Your hand flew across his face, his angry eyes glaring into yours when his head reels back. As you swing your arm to hit him again, his large palm catches your wrist and roughly pulls you to his chest.

“Let me go.”, you growl.

Leaning forward, his lips hover just above your own, feeling the slight wind of your heavy exhales that come from your nose.

“Make me.”

“No, I didn’t know him.”

#############

Sighing, you take shaky, anxious steps towards your boyfriend’s office building. When Jacob called saying he forgot his lunch, you debated on telling him you were busy with work stuff of your own before finally deciding to bring him his food. 

He owns the building. It’s not like he’s going to actually be in it 24/7. Plus, if he was he would definitely be on a different floor.

“Hey sweetie. Oh! Thank you so much.”, he grins as he kisses your cheek. “Do you want to sit with me while I eat? We can share or I can buy you something.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m not hungry but I can sit with you.”

Holding your hand, he walked with you to the building cafeteria and like any good girlfriend, you sat next to him listening to him tell you about the long trials and tribulations of his day. You smiled, nodding where you were supposed to and frowning at things he seemed annoyed with. After thirty minutes of his hour lunch, you desperately needed a break. 

“I’m going to go get a drink. I’ll be right back.”

Jacob smiled as you tilted down to kiss him before turning to head towards the area with drinks and food. As you stood there staring into the void of soda options, a strong cologne smell hit your nose that had you dizzy as your eyes fluttered closed. You’d know that smell anywhere, inhaling it so many times in the past. 

Steve smiles as he watches you walk around his room in one of his polos that hangs down your body like a nightgown, just barely covering the love bites and bruises from his fingers that were starting to form on your thighs. Lifting an expensive looking glass bottle to your nose, you grin to yourself as you inhale and put it back down. 

“I love the way that stuff smells.”

“Yeah. My dad says it’s a good smell for ‘classy men’.”, he chuckles.

“Hm. I guess he doesn’t know you very well.”

“Fuck you. I’m classy.”, Steve teases as his grin grows, yanking your arm so you fall on top of him as he folds his hands together behind your lower back. “Classy enough to land a pretty girl like you.”

“Y/N?” 

As you turn your head, your eyes lock with his slightly stunned honey-colored irises as they scan you up and down. You begin to feel slightly self-conscious in your leggings and regular t-shirt compared to his slick black suit and well styled hair.

“Holy shit. What…What are you doing here? Do you work here?”, Steve asks.

“Uh, no. My, uh, my boyfriend actually does.” You turn and point to where he was nonchalantly eating, not even looking in your direction. “What are you doing here?”

“My dad followed through and gave me his company. We finally expanded out of Hawkins so I bought this place.”

“Yeah, I heard. Congratulations.” His eyes continue to rake over you making you more and more anxious the longer you stood there. “Well, I better get back before his hour ends.”

A shiver ran up your spine as his hand reached out to grab your arm. 

“Wait. I’d like to talk to you some more and catch up. Do you want to meet me for dinner? I’m free tonight if you are.”

“Steve… I’m with someone. I can’t have dinner or anything else with an ex or whatever the fuck we were. I’m happy now.”

The smirk that painted his beautiful lips startled you as you stood up straighter.

“Oh your happy, huh? You should tell that to your face. That guy’s your boyfriend? Guy barely seems like he can get it up let alone satisfy a woman like you.”

“Define woman like me?”, you inquire sarcastically. 

“A strong, gorgeous woman who liked to be fucked hard and put in her place.” Steve’s eyes remain on you as your own widen as you look around hoping now one was close enough to hear his not-so-subtle tone. “Tell me, honey, does he know you called me Daddy? I imagine not because if you were my girl and I found out you ever called someone else that you wouldn’t be able to sit down for weeks.”

“Thank God, I’m not your fucking girl.”, you snarled. “You were never man enough to make that commitment.”

As you both stared daggers into each other’s eyes a sudden hand on your shoulder brings you back. 

“Baby, everything ok?”, your boyfriend asks way too calmly. 

“Yeah, Jacob, I’m fine. I was just introducing myself to the owner of your company.”

Steve’s eyes immediately softened as you watched him play the role he always played extremely well; charming and popular.

“Steve Harrington. Nice to meet you, Jacob. Y/N and I go way back.”

“Oh. I thought you said you didn’t know him, sweetie.”

Your ex’s eyes narrow in your direction in faux shock making you sigh in annoyance. 

“I didn’t know him. I knew OF him. Everyone knew who Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington was. Unfortunately, I wasn’t popular enough to penetrate his circle.”

“Hm, but I was to penetrate yours.”, he sassed with an arrogant confidence that just made you angry. 

“Nice seeing you again, Harrington. Come on, baby.”

Steve watches you both walk away with a determined gaze that you can feel burning into your back as you headed towards your table.

“He seems nice. What was he like in school? Do you remember?”

“You didn’t call me like you said you would.”

“I was busy, Y/N.”, he answers nonchalantly, not even meeting your eyes as he continues putting things in his locker. “I figured when you didn’t hear from me, you’d just fuck the next guy.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, seriously?! Steve, for some fucking reason I like you. I only want to be with you but it kills me when you don’t follow through with your promises. You say you’ll call and you don’t. You say we’ll go on an official date finally and then last minute you change plans but still call me to come over late at night so you can fuck me. It’s push and pull with you. You act like you want me but then you don’t. I can’t… I can’t keep waiting for you.”

Slamming his locker closed, he finally turns to face you with a look that said he really didn’t care. 

“Then don’t.”

“Yeah…I remember him. Steve Harrington was a complete asshole.”

##############

You managed to steer clear of Steve and anything having to do with him for a few months after your encounter with him until you couldn’t anymore.

“Baby, it’s an office party. Come on, we have to go.”

“Then go, Jacob, but I’d rather just stay here.”

“Y/N, you’re my girlfriend and this is important to me. Everyone I know will be there including clients. I want them to meet the woman I love.”

You can’t help but sigh at his statement from your place in the closet. You cared about your boyfriend, you genuinely did but love? That was big word with a big meaning. 

“FUCK YOU!”, you shout as you run out into the hallway and yank your arm away from Steve as he tries to stop you while buckling up his pants. “I’m so stupid. DON’T fucking touch me.”

Growling, he pushed you into another empty room and closed the door behind him as he continued to put his clothes back on. 

“Lower your fucking voice—”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want the entire party to know what an asshole you really are!” His hand tries to block your mouth but you angrily swat him away causing him to back up and hold his hands up defensively. “You TOLD ME that we could make this serious. That we would finally have a REAL relationship and then I find you here fucking Lori! Are you kidding me?”

“Y/N, I—”

“I told you I loved you, Steve. I’ve never said that to anyone!” Tears started to fall down your face as you hugged your arms around your body. “You’re never going to claim me, are you? You’re never going to call me your girlfriend. I was just another fuck buddy, wasn’t I?”

When he doesn’t respond, you shove his chest hard. 

“ANSWER ME!”

“YES! YES, OKAY?! Excuse me for not wanting to fucking hurt you. You knew what this was, honey. Its…It’s not my fault…you caught feelings.”

That night you ran. You told your parents you loved them, packed a small bag, and left Hawkins to Indianapolis swearing to yourself that this would never happen again. Ever since that night, you had been so numb to most emotions but especially ones that included romance. 

“Ok. Let me get ready and I’ll meet you downstairs. 

***

If you ran into Steve Harrington again, this time you would be ready. Wearing your shortest black dress and highest black heels, you strutted into Jacob’s office party with a demeanor that had everyone turning their heads. 

With a gigantic grin on his face, your boyfriend introduced you to people and showed you off the way you deserved. 

I should be enjoying this. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be normal!?

“Hey, baby, I’m going to run to the restroom.” 

After giving him a sweet kiss, you powerwalk to the girl’s bathroom and lean over the sink as you stare at yourself in the mirror. 

What’s wrong with me?

The door abruptly opens making you jump as you quickly pretend to be washing hands until a familiar aroma grabs your attention. 

“Steve! What the fuck are you doing?! This is the girl’s bathroom!”

“Pfft like that ever stopped me before.” His eyes hungrily drank you in as you did the same. In high school he always dressed well but it was rare you saw him in suits. Now you imagined he wore them all the time and they accentuated his body in a way that had your mouth watering. 

“I was watching you around the party with your boyfriend. You seem…sad.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“Hm. Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?”

“Fuck off, Harrington. Alright? I left you and Hawkins for a reason. Just give me some peace.”

“Yeah, you did leave. You didn’t even say goodbye.”, he replied with an undertone of anger you couldn’t quite fathom. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. When should I have done that? While you were fucking the school slut or after you told me you didn’t love me.”

“I didn’t say that. I never said I didn’t love you.”

“PLEASE! You said I should have known what our relationship was and it wasn’t your fault I caught feelings for you! What was I supposed to take from that?!”

“Do you think my dad would have let us be together?! A rich Harrington with a poor Y/L/N? This isn’t a fairy tale, Y/N!”

“Of course! Steve Harrington, always looking out for himself!”

“What did you want me to do?!”

“I WANTED YOU TO FIGHT FOR ME!”

The bathroom door swings open again and you quickly grab his arm, shoving him into an empty stall as a group of girls gather at the sinks. As you listen to them talk, your head hangs as your brain swims in memories of the past. 

You never cared that he was a Harrington or that he had a ton of money attached to his name. Even though you two had a lot of bad moments, to you, the good always outweighed them. Steve always knew how to make you laugh and smile (when he showed up). He would come over on Friday nights with a movie and some food (because he didn’t want to risk you both being seen). At night when he would sneak through your window (at 1am), you would lay on his chest and talk about everything you both could think of (after he fucked you like a whore). 

Fingers gently lifted your chin, tilting your head so your eyes could meet his. As a tear fell down your cheek, he tenderly wiped it away with his thumb before cupping your face with his hands. You closed your eyes as his lips kissed your forehead, slowly trailing them down to your nose, and hovering just above your own.

Closing the distance, you pulled his mouth to yours as your palms slid down his back, trying to bring him closer to your body. 

You never forgot the taste of his kisses but you were grateful for the reminder. 

After forcing open your legs with his knee, your dress hiked up a bit allowing him easier access to your panty covered core as his hand effortlessly pressed the silky materiel against your clit. Biting your lip to stifle the moan, you felt him smile as his mouth latched on to your neck. Your eyes rolled as his tongue licked your skin and his fingers moved your underwear out of the way so he could guide two of them into your entrance.

Steve’s elbow locked in place as your knees started to buckle, holding you against the tile wall as you clung to his shoulders. It took every ounce of energy you had to remain quiet as his digits curled inside of you. The girls outside of the stall continued to gossip, completely unaware that the owner of their company was about to make their coworker’s girlfriend come undone.

Leaning back to look at you, the tip of his nose lightly grazed yours as your mouth fell open in a silent moan. Nodding his head, his beautiful eyes were begging you for something he needed you to say. Something he hadn’t heard since you left and you hadn’t said to anyone but him. 

“Please…Daddy.”, you mouthed and without hesitation he gripped the back of your neck, pulling your head to his shoulder as he pumped his fingers faster into your cunt.

The bathroom door banged shut as the women left and a loud moan you had been holding on to echoed through the room as you reached down to grip his wrist, trembling against him as you came. Yanking you back, he crashed his lips to yours as your tongues mingled together. 

“Please…please…”, you whimper as you push at his hand.

“It’s been a while, huh? Since you’ve had something big inside of you.”, he teased, grinning when your breathily laughed. “God, I missed you so much. I thought about you every day for the past five years. I love you, honey.” 

Something in your look gave him pause as he scanned your face. 

“What?” Pushing him backwards, you threw open the door to the stall while adjusting your dress and quickly checking yourself in the mirror to make sure you looked at least how you did when you came in here. “Hey, talk to me. What’s—”

As he reached for your arm, you turned around and smacked his cheek.

“How dare you. You think after everything you put me through you can just walk back into my life and expect things to be how they were?! I’m in a healthy relationship for once. He doesn’t bail on dates or disappear when I need him. Jacob actually shows me off and tells people I’m his girlfriend that he loves! I don’t cry every night because of something he said or did! I don’t—”

“Have sex the way you want?”, Steve interrupted snidely. “You don’t actually have any fucking fun because he’s so fucking boring you just want to walk into traffic. He doesn’t challenge you or make feel needed. He doesn’t know how fucking numb you really are. Jesus…”, he snickers. “You’re definitely not the same girl that left me.”

“That’s right because you broke her fucking heart!”

“Does he know that you don’t love him?” You freeze by the door at his question. “Does he know that you, honey, are exactly like me whether you like it or not. There’s a reason you’ve thought of me every day to. That’s the same reason you’re afraid to leave him.”

“Our relationship…was toxic…”

Tilting his head to the side, he reached into his suit pocket, grabbing a pack of cigarettes, and lighting one between his teeth. 

“That may be but that also doesn’t change the fact that you and I, baby girl, thrive on that shit.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you shake your head before addressing him and turning to leave.

“Stay away from me, Steven.”

#############

“Oof.”, Jacob groans as he slinks out of his suit jacket and throws himself down on the sofa. “It was a long day. We have a big account that landed in our lap and even your friend has been staying late to help.”

“He’s not my friend.”, you mumble as you continue focusing on the sink in front of you. 

You hadn’t been able to shake Steve from your brain since the party. Hell, you hadn’t been able to shake him for the last 5 years. You thought about him constantly but knew he was bad for you. Part of what got you through the heartache was telling yourself that he wasn’t missing you; that he didn’t care at all where you were or if you were even happy. 

But here he was telling you the opposite. Was he lying or did he genuinely care? From the few interactions you had with him he still seemed exactly the same. God, why couldn’t you get the warm fuzzy feelings he gave you with someone healthy?! Why did you have to fall in love with him? Why did he rile you up and get you going but by doing the worst things. 

“Honey? Are you alright? You seem kind of—”

“I’m fine, Jacob. I’m just exhausted.”

His hand gently caressed your back as his chin rested on your shoulder. “I understand. Is there anything I can do?”

Angrily, you slammed the plate in your hand back into sink, lightly pushing him aside as you entered the living room and began to pace. 

“Baby, what’s going on?”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“STOP BEING SO FUCKING NICE TO ME!”, you shout as frustrated tears began to fall. “Why do you alwayshave to be so nice?”

“How else should I be, Y/N?”

“I don’t know! Fucking…tell me to stop being a bitch or raise your voice a little bit. Throw me against a wall and fuck me into submission.” 

“Y/N, I still don’t get it. You’re telling me you want me to hurt you?”

“NO! I just want you to stop being so fucking passive! Show a bit more passion! How can you live life like this!? If you’re angry just be fucking angry and then do something about it!”

Placing his hands on his hips, his eyes glance over you as if confused on how to proceed. 

“You know what? Um, fuck it. I’m sorry, honey. I just…I had a weird day and I’m taking it out on you.” Wiping your eyes, you hastily grab your jacket from the nearby closet, and sling it over your shoulders. “I’m just going to go for a drive.”

“Y/N, wait! It’s pouring!”

Shutting the door, you cut him off as you stand in the yard and let the rainwater hit your face. It had been so long since you felt amped up like this. Backing out of your driveway, you head to the one person you know will understand.

***

“Yeah? What? I’m busy.”

“Uh Mr. Harrington, there’s a young lady here that says she knows you and was wondering if she could come up to talk to you.”

“I see. Carl? Does the young lady have a name or are we just letting any random women into the building?”,Steve asked the security guard sarcastically through intercom that connected to the top two floors. 

“Um, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Ok, send her up.”, he sighs almost as if he’s annoyed by your presence. 

You bounce anxiously in the elevator as you take the ride up to the top floor and as soon as the doors ding open, you power walk towards the lighted up office at the end of hall.

“Y/N.”, Steve exhales without looking in your direction. “I’m extremely busy so if this isn’t important then make it quick.” When his eyes finally land on your soaked, agitated frame, his whole demeanor shifted as he came around his desk and cupped your face in his hands. “Jesus Christ, honey. What the fuck is going on? Are you alright?”

Tilting up on your toes, you hungerly press your lips against his.

“Baby…Baby…hang on…Stop!”, he shouts sternly as he pulls you back. “Tell me what happened right now.”

“You said you missed me and that you loved me.”, you pant as you try to tug out of his grip. “I didn’t. I didn’t miss you at all. The only thing I ever loved about you was your dick, Harrington.”

His eyes narrowed as his head tilted trying to get a read on you. 

“Why are you lying, little girl? You’re not supposed to lie to me remember?”

“Said the liar. I bet you didn’t miss me either with all that pussy you were getting back at Hawkins.”

“I can get pussy and still miss yours. The only difference is I actually enjoyed fucking those gorgeous women. When’s the last time you were fucked properly?”

“Jacob can get the job done. Trust me.”, you sass. 

“Then tell me, baby, why are you here with me?”

“Because I’m an idiot! Maybe, I should go home.”

As you turned to leave, he roughly grabbed your arm, spun you around, and kissed you again. It was a rough kiss loaded with need as you both clung to each other, you a bit more desperately than him. 

“Where’s my girl? I want my Y/N.”, he snarled angrily as he pulled your hair back, tilting your face up to meet his. 

“I told you. She’s gone.”

“I don’t believe you.” Pushing you down onto your knees, he continues to hold you firmly as he unbuckled and unbuttoned his pants with one hand. “I think she’s still there. She’s just hidden behind this false facade of someone ‘normal’.” As his slacks fall to his ankles, his cock springs free, and you salivate at the sight as he pumps it slowly in front of your face. “But we aren’t normal, are we, baby?”

As you try to lean forward to take him into your mouth, Steve pulls on your hair harder forcing you back while leaning down till his face was just inches above your own. 

“Ah, see? There she is. Hidden right under there.” His tone is full of snark but his beautiful features remain stoic as he continues to glare down at you. “Come on, honey. Give me what you got.”

Rearing back, a glob of spit leaves your mouth and lands just above his nose.

“Fuck you, Steve Harrington. I hate you.”

Wiping his hand over his face, he collects your saliva and strokes it along his cock.

“Jesus, baby, your anger and attitude just really fucking get me off.” Lifting you off your knees, he pushes you onto his desk, tearing off your jacket and shirt before slamming your back against the wood as your head hangs over the other side. 

You try to get up but he’s faster, holding his palm against your chest as he comes around his desk. 

“You remember our word right, Y/N? I wouldn’t be surprised if you forgot it. I imagine you haven’t needed it with the extremely mundane almost tedious style sex you’ve been having over the years.”, he chuckles, laughing at his own snark as you pout angrily beneath him. “DO you remember?”

“Yes I fucking remember!”

The palm on your chest slides easily up your skin and takes hold of your throat.

“Yes, you remember what?”

“I remember our safe word.”

Rolling his eyes, he lets you go just long enough to slap your cheek hard before holding you down again. 

“Yes, WHAT?!”

“YES, DADDY, I REMEMBER OUR FUCKING WORD!”

Steve’s hand moves behind your head, holding you up slightly as his leaking tip touches your lips, exhaling heavily when your tongue darts out to lick his slit and you moan at the taste of him. Opening your mouth wider, you allow him to push his cock in till he promptly hits the back of your throat making you gag. 

“That’s it, baby, take it like a good girl.”

Thrusting his hips, you flatten your tongue allowing him to use you as he pleases. Abruptly, the phone blares on his desk startling you but annoying him as he angrily grunts at the device. 

“God fucking damn it. Can’t have one fucking moment. Don’t move.”, he growls as he leans over to pick up the receiver. “Yeah, this is Harrington.” His long fingers grip your hair tighter as his cock subtly slides between your lips unable to remain still as your wet, slobber filled mouth warms him. 

“Seriously? This is why you called at 10pm? We have it covered. I have faith in the employees here.”

Even though his voice remained relatively calm despite what was happening, you knew him well enough to know he was using all his energy to do so. Deciding to rile him further, your hand reached up above you and gently massaged his balls the way you knew drove him crazy back in school. 

“Look, stop panicking. I-I-I…” You smiled in triumph as Steve stuttered over his words. “Fuck. No not you. Clark, just…just tell my dad to calm the fuck down. I haven’t run his company into the ground yet and I don’t…don’t plan on doing it any time soon.”

Slamming the phone back on the hook, he grips the side of your head with both hands as he thrusts his hips at a faster pace. 

“Did you think that was funny, little girl?! Did you think it was funny watching me squirm?” Holding you still, he stops moving when he feels your nose against his sack, grunting as your throat constricts around him. “That’s it, you fucking brat. Choke on it.”

Pulling himself all the way out, he allows you to collect air and watches with pride as the tears streak down your face. Once he feels like you’ve had enough of a break, he shoves his cock back down your throat, holding you still as you gag and drool around him. 

A frustrated sigh leaves his lips as he tugs you off him and walks around to the other side of the desk while shuffling off his pants as he unbuttons his shirt. 

“Come here, baby.”

As you fully sit up, you raise your hips so he can aggressively yank down your pants with your panties. Bringing you towards the edge of his desk, he falls to his knees, and puts your cunt on display for himself as he uses his fingers to hold open your puffy lips. 

“Fuck, sweetheart. I missed this pussy so much. You always smelled so fucking good.” You moan as Steve’s nose grazes your clit and his tongue licks between your folds. “Shit. And you tasted so fucking delicious to.”

His head falls between your legs and your fingers tangle in hair as he devours you like you were his last meal. The obscene sounds of slurps and his tongue flicking in and out of your core has you clenching tightly around him as your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

“Please, don’t stop, Steve. Oh my god.”, you whine. 

As your hips start to buck against him, his strong hands hold you down forcing you to stay still. You continue petting his head, occasionally tugging on his fluffy, soft strands making his groan reverberate through you. 

The phone beside you blares loudly again and he grunts in agitation as he gets to his feet, grabbing the cord to yank it from the wall. 

Taking his place between your legs, you both moan as he runs his mushroom tip along you slit and rests his forehead on yours.

“Beg me, Y/N. Tell me how bad you want my cock that you love oh so much and not me.”

“Please, Steve, I need—”

His palm around your throat cuts you off.

“No, little girl. Remember? You don’t care about me anymore. You don’t give a fuck about Steve Harrington. All you want is my dick right? Well, honey, this dick belongs to Daddy so beg him.”, he growled causing your breath to hitch. 

“Please, Daddy. I’m sorry. I need you to fuck me. I need to feel you fill me up.”

“Do you think you deserve it?”

“No.”, you whisper, your answer intriguing him as his head shifts to the side. “But I need it.”

Your hands run up his chest till you reach his neck, clinging to him as he slowly guides himself inside of you. You mouth dropped open in the shape of an O as he gradually pumps his hips, pushing himself deeper into your heat. 

“God damnit, Y/N, how long has it been? Your pussy isn’t used to a big cock anymore is she? You’re so fucking tight.”

“Still s-so cocky.”

Steve chuckles lightly, his head hanging as he bottoms out. 

“Still a fucking brat.”

Gripping both your thighs, he pulls back before thrusting his length hard inside of you, practically punching the air from your lungs. Falling flat onto his desk, he finds a steady pace that leaves the two of you panting and moaning.

Leaning his upper body over yours, his lips kiss yours sloppily as your tongues dance together.

“Fuck, baby girl, no one has ever taken my cock as well as you.” His face falls into the nook between your neck and shoulder as he bites at the flesh. “This pussy was made for me, Y/N.”

“Harder, Daddy.”

Taking hold of you, he lifts you off his desk and places you on the floor, lifting one of your legs over his shoulder as he pounds into you.

“Like that, honey? Yeah. Daddy knows. Daddy can take care of you.” With one hand clinging to your leg for leverage, he utilizes his other to bring his thumb to your clit making you whimper as his cock abuses your g-spot. “Cum, pretty girl. Cum all over my dick.”

Perching yourself up on your elbows, your eyes lock with his giving him more determination to push you over that ledge. When you do finally fall, he grunts at the feeling, fucking you through it as his thumb moves faster against you. 

“Atta girl. Fuck me. Your pussy won’t stop pulling me in. You really needed Daddy, huh, baby?”

Shakily your hand grabbed his wrist, silently begging him to stop and to your surprise he did, bringing his palm up to caress your cheek. Focusing on his own pleasure, he slammed into you so hard that you knew you would be sore tomorrow. 

Falling flat against your body, he rolled his hips a few more times before warming your insides with his release. 

The two of you laid together quietly for a few moments until he finally rolled on to his back. Sneaking a glance your way, Steve noticed you were trembling and sat up to grab his jacket off the floor where he had tossed it to place it over your body like a blanket. 

“Thank you.”, you murmur as you bring it up closer to your neck. 

“For the jacket or the sex?” As you turn your head to look at him, he does the same. “That’s what you came here for right? Because I know it wasn’t for me. I guaran-God damn-tee if your boyfriend or any other guy fucked you the way I did, you’d be with them right now.”

“You’re right.” Steve huffed as he fully sat up and leaned against the sofa he had in his office. “What do you want me say, Harrington? I tried for two years to get you to claim me and every time you pushed me away.”

“And every time you still came back.”

“So that gave you license to treat me like garbage?!”

“No! I’m just… I’m just saying there’s a reason for that.”

“Yeah and not a good one. Steve…what we have…had… yeah the sex is amazing but everything else is unhealthy. The missed dates, angry calls, the fighting, the fucking cheating… we are toxic.”

He sighs heavily before giving you his full attention.

“Yeah, well, if we’re toxic then I’d rather go down with you than anyone else.” Shaking your head, you get to your feet as you quickly grab your clothes and start to put them on. “I know you feel the same, Y/N, or else you wouldn’t be here. You like all that bullshit because at least you’re feeling something other than fucking boredom. Trust me, I tried to. I tried doing the healthy ‘normal’ thing. I wanted to fucking gouge my eyes out by the end of the day. It took me awhile to realize that all the women I was with including her… I just kept wishing they were you.”

“This was a mistake. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“No, no, no, no, honey. Please, trust me. I feel like we can make this work.”

“Well, I don’t.”

Backing away from you, he folded his arms as he leaned against his desk. You knew this look very well, always referring to it as “the shutdown”. His wall was going up which means he was going to make this situation as complicated as possible.

The butterflies in your tummy fluttered in anticipation at the notion.

Why am I like this? Why can’t I be normal?

“Ok, Y/N. We can play this game but just remember, little girl, I’m way better at it than you.”

############

@daysinthephoenix @sophiejayne-illustrations713

[magicxc]

Frenemies

Pairings: Survey Corps - people they cannot STAND

Word Count: 1076

Warnings: none

A/N: Idk man I love a good tussle jskksks. Like give me two characters who absolutely hate each other! And with AOT I really don't have to look too far, yay. This is basically canon but it's funny to think about so here it is as well. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren  - Jean, Weak People

I think the Jean one gets over exaggerated a little, and for good reason too, cause the girlies be EATING with those tropes. But at the end of the day they have a mutual understanding and are cordial at best. They're mostly cool because they share mutual friends and spaces but it’s no longer beef per se. 

Hear me out, I don't think anyone wiping out 80% of humanity is willing to kick it with people who aint about it. Mans need someone who’s willing to stand on business behind him. Even throughout the show he’s always admitted to not liking people who’s willing to live like “livestock.” So this is not to be confused with physically weak people by the way but psychologically weak people. Essentially Eren has beef if you’re willing to take it lying down. 

Levi - Zeke

Listennnn I LIVE for their fight scenes okay lmao. Like it's almost always on sight for them and their lil jabs at one another? It’s chucklessss for me omg. Lets be clear, their beef is absolutely warranted. It can be safely argued that Levi doesnt really care for most people but Zeke?? Oh baby its all smoke for him. 

Erwin - The Government 

I swear if it wasn't for the literal fate of humanity and his brewing theory Erwin would've just said fuck it cause baybeeee, they wanted that man GONE. They've tried to get him fired, pointed guns in his face, and built a whole ass guillotine to unalive him; in front of the entire town mind you. Maybe that was the custom back then I don't know. I don’t remember Erwin outright saying that he doesn't fuck with the government but fuck it, I’ll say it for him. Cause I'll stand ten toes down behind this one here. 

Connie - Ymir

I promise you I let out a nasty ole chuckle at the thought cause he don't even dislike her fr fr. I think it's a situation similar to Eren and Jean's in the sense that their friends and environment often see them in the same places. Because if we’re being real, not only do they have little in common but they just don't really vibe like that. I think they could've been a little more cordial but Ymir be on her own timing and it's usually at the expense of the squad. Like when she made fun of Connie for suspecting his mother was a titan or when she kidnapped Historia like 3 times and put them all in danger. And I can't even be mad at Connie for being the voice of reason cause him calling her ugly was simply the truth. I, too, reared back when I first saw Ymir's titan form. 

Jean - Eren, Reiner, Annie, Bertholt

The whole Eren thing is basically squashed but it’s worth noting that if he were to see him in public, he’d walk the other way. 

I lowkey had to dig deep for this one cause I genuinely forgot. But even though they’re all kumbaya now, those three bitches literally watched his homie get half his face chewed off by a titan. Jean is absolutely pouring one out for Marco every birthday by the way, but yeahh it’s still fuck them. Like if they were playing uno stacked, he’d save all his draw 4’s and make them draw 16. 

Onyankopon - Yelena

I'm not too sure that Ony dislikes anyone honestly. But I'm going with Yelena here mostly because she’s the reason he found himself in his current predicament. On what was supposed to be a solid plan in motion to save his people quickly turned into Ony modernizing a primitive people, helping build their resources from scratch, having people question his race (and I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar it was mfs that got ignorant), seeming untrustworthy among his peers, almost getting killed, fighting in a war he had nothing to do with, and probably losing his entire family in the rumble. Now, one or two of those things were inevitable, but if you were to view things from Ony’s POV everything went to shit over a bitch with a fatal attraction to a man with daddy issues. 

Reiner - Himself

Lmaooo I LOVE a good Reiner drag. And while this started out as a joke, I'm deadass now. This man stays talking about wanting to end it all but never follows through, smh. With lots of therapy and support, I genuinely think that Reiner would be on the road to recovery and a healthy lifestyle; but there’ll always be that lingering thought on if he’s worth it or not

Honorable mention: Ymir. But solely because she would get in the way of his fantasy life with Historia. 

Armin - Floch? 

This munchkin is damn near Tanjiro levels of sweet cause omg who does he even hate??? He is always looking for the good in people and I'm about to dislocate my shoulder reaching this hard BUT, hear me out - It’s Floch even if he doesn’t outright say it. The same Floch who damaged the flying boat and almost ruined their mission before it even started? The same Floch who fucked it up so bad that Hange had to sacrifice herself which resulted in Armin taking on an even bigger responsibility? The same Floch who got in a lil too close with his bestie Eren? Close enough to be trusted with his future plans? The same Floch who when he lay on that ground bleeding Armin was nowhere in sight? Even at the port where they attacked the Yeagerists and Armin got shot in the face, he pleaded with his old comrades to stand down but Floch is beneath that level of reasoning huh? Whether Armin despises Floch or not it's safe to say if Floch were getting jumped, Armin would definitely sneak in a kick before helping. 

Floch - Erwin

This is literally one of those cases where its like I disagree but I understand lol. That man legit made them do a suicide charge and yeah he lead the charge blah blah blah but I could never be that brave. And so that resentment is understandable but in all fairness it shaped Flochs character for the better to be honest; cause that whole pwussy boi arc was annoying. 

Also adding the main cast of the Scouts lmao. They thwarted his plans and he spent his DYING breath standing on business. Gotta respect it.

Tags - @eveningatthemoviesnetwork

[extensionallydefined]

It's time for a sequel! My last essay post was about the thematic relationship between standard Persona 5 and the added Royal content, and there I said that I'd do another little writeup on individuality in that context. I'm going to assess it especially regarding the Royal Trio. So here it is! As always, spoilers, you've been warned.

(This is post-finishing-the-writeup extensionallydefined here - this one's a long one, get ready! It gets into character study territory, yay!)

So, I wanna approach this topic from the lens of the characters of Akechi and Sumire. They're two characters whose individuality and autonomy are heavily put into question in Maruki's desired reality. But before we discuss them.

In Maruki's reality: 1. Your suffering is eliminated. 2. Your wishes are granted.

These are its two basic precepts. In the case of people like Akechi and Joker, it's stated that reality has been rewritten in such a way that they didn't commit any crimes. If we follow Morgana's logic of the world being a product of cognition only, then we can assume that this was done by altering everyone's memory to remember a world where the mental shutdowns and changes of heart never happened.

This means that people's prior actions and lives can be altered via perception, and we can see that this can happen to the individual themselves too - It follows that if Futaba fully believes her mother to be alive, she does not remember anything that happened during, at the very least, her Palace arc during the game - including the choices she made during it.

This means that Maruki's reality fundamentally alters people's perception of their own identity. It's no secret that people's memories are one of if not the most constitutive part of their identities, so if Maruki can change someone's memories, he can change their identity itself.

I wonder, if Maruki deems that someone's identity causes them too much pain and suffering in relation to their desires, is he willing to change it? And if someone desires their identity to be overwritten, will he do it? The answer is yes to both: Akechi is the first case, and Sumire corresponds to the second question. Oh hey! It's like the Royal Trio have very relevant thematic connections!

Let's do Akechi first, since my posts here are thinly-veiled Akechi propaganda in the end. Akechi's whole "thing" is that he's been under others' control his whole life, and he's been putting on different kinds of masks to achieve his goals. Personally, I believe both "Detective Prince Akechi" and "Black Mask Akechi" are not "the real Akechi".

Detective Prince Akechi corresponds to his public persona - the Ace Detective, the celebrity. He goes on talk shows and acts nice, he's a hero of justice, and his sole purpose is uncovering the truth.

This is a mask, of course - He doesn't have that much regard for the truth, and although he does seek his justice in a way, it is not the one he preaches online. His Detective Prince mask is the one that, as he says himself, he uses so that someone will want him around.

On the other hand, we have the Black Mask persona (Holy shit Persona reference?) he utilizes. This one is definitely more genuine than the regular Akechi, but I think his ruthlessness when acting as Black Mask, especially before 3rd semester, is forced as well. I think too many people forget what Ryuji says before his fight:

I actually agree with Ryuji's theory here. I think Akechi needed to force himself to go psychotic to fight the Phantom Thieves after losing the first time. His Black Mask persona is one where he lets himself be controlled by his anger and his thirst for revenge, it's his mask of *Spite*. It's the one that pretends to hate Joker (which is partly why Morgana telling him that he doesn't hate Joker is one of the things that prompts him to use Loki on the PTs). Maybe I'll write more about this if I ever do a deep dive on him, but for now, know this: Akechi's Black Mask is what it says on the tin, a Mask.

The real Akechi is somewhere in between, and somewhere else entirely at the same time. I think the fully genuine Akechi is the one we see in Joker and Akechi's interactions during the Third Semester. He's more than just Robin Hood and Loki. He's the Akechi that can awaken to Hereward.

The thing is - the real Akechi is the way he is because of what led him to develop those masks. Even if they are his "personas", they're still parts of him, born of his pain and suffering and his struggle to get what he thinks he wants.

And that's the thing, isn't it? Maruki denies him that. He takes away his crimes - So he at least takes away Black Mask Akechi. During 3rd Sem, Akechi is aware of this, but in the "accept Maruki's reality ending", the PTs and Akechi are totally chill, described as friends - like nothing bad ever happened.

That's not our Akechi.

That's a sanitized, perfect little version of Akechi that Maruki thinks is the best one for Akechi. But in a way, he's taking away the life and identity that Akechi built for himself - He doesn't think that the flawed Akechi deserves to live. And if you, Joker, decide to take Maruki's reality? That's the ultimate betrayal. You tell Akechi to his face that you prefer the perfect version of him. You're just like the foolish masses that rally behind the Detective Prince - you want the version of him that's happy all the time and can do no wrong. Choosing Maruki's reality is an affront to Akechi's agency, that much is obvious - but it's also a betrayal of his wishes and a violent attack against his very sense of identity.

It's ironic, isn't it? Even if Maruki presents his reality as the one where Akechi lives, that's not our Akechi... So he dies either way. Except if we fight Maruki, he maintains his autonomy til the end, and if you ranked him up to rank 10... his death is still ambiguous.

(And if you're a Shuake enjoyer like me, be it for their platonic, romantic or whatever-they-got-going-on-over-there dynamic... This is just perfect angst material. Chef's kiss.)

After this whole Akechi rant (Goodness me this is turning out Really long I hope I can keep people's attention sksks), let's take a look at Sumire.

Sumire is someone who wants her personality to be overwritten. She does not want to live as someone who led her own sister to die. She wants to be the vessel through which Kasumi's goals are fulfilled. She wants to be Kasumi.

But what does it mean for Sumire to be Kasumi? If we follow our logic, it means that Sumire has to die. She disappears. Her self-perception has to be altered to such an extent that she will not exist anymore, but rather an amalgamation of what Sumire thinks Kasumi is like, what Maruki thinks Sumire wants and Sumire would be born out of the actualization of her wishes. In a way, what Sumire is saying is... she wishes she was the one who died that day instead of her sister. But she still wants to help her sister fulfill her wish. So, instead of just telling Maruki "I want my life exchanged for my sister's" she says she wants to become Kasumi altogether. Kasumi can live through her, bringing the sisters together.

Sumire wants to lose her individuality. Akechi does not. This makes them clash directly. But in the end, Sumire accepts that 1. Her sister was more flawed than how she saw her. 2. She should carry on her sister's wish because it was their collective wish. 3. She should do it as herself, because she has as much worth as Kasumi. So, she ends up carrying on Kasumi's wish, but without losing her identity and creating the "Kasumire" that we meet during the base game. "Beauty in devotion", as they say.

So, in conclusion, what does Maruki's reality do for individuality? It prioritizes the reduction of suffering and the fulfillment of wishes above the subject's self-perception. In the end, Maruki's actualization works through changing cognition - And if cognition is a part of ourselves, well... In a way, we could say that the person whose wishes Maruki grants disappears in favour of a version of themselves whose wishes have been granted. Autonomy-wise, even if Maruki grants people's conscious wishes, it's not like he asked: "Hey, would you wanna live in a new reality with all these philosophical implications?" I think he realizes this to an extent, which is why he allows the Phantom Thieves and Akechi to challenge him.

First, he prioritizes dialogue, but he knows conflict may be unavoidable. "May the strongest will decide our fate" - something like that.

Maybe my point of view is very anti-Maruki, and I'm not trying to hide it. I was against Maruki from day 1, just like Akechi. (To be clear, I don't hate the guy, I love him as a character, but we have vastly different worldviews). I highly value individuality and autonomy and I don't subscribe to Maruki's brand of utilitarianism/hedonism. But I think these rough kinds of trains of thought are the ones that P5R demands from us, and I love it for that. I think my next essay will be about Maruki and death, relating P5 to P3 and Maruki's utilitarianism to Nietzschean ideas of life-denying slave-morality. Yeah, we're going deep into the philosophy sauce in the next one. I hope you'll stick with me for that!

(Btw I added images by popular demand - I hope they help with reading!)

[astronomical-bagel]

I wanna hear you talk about chilchuck the most that sure is a guy ever

YAY I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY GUY THANK YOU BELOVED MUTUAL KYSOOT 

(Warning for lots of spoilers from chapter 30 of the manga (right after the red dragon))

Anyways fun fact! The thing that made chilchuck my favorite character was actually when he was trying to convince senshi to lie to the Laios and Marcille in order to get them to turn back and give up on finding falin. I made a whole post about it too, i LOVE cowards. I was reading in my car waiting my twin to get off work and i was screaming my head off the whole time because it was such a good revelation about his character.

And it’s not that i love scared guys (i do, absolutely, but chilchuck doesnt apply here), and its not that i love disloyal people (i also do, but once again, not the point), its the whole character arc where it goes:

1. Once he reaches a limit for how much danger he is willing to be in he will break any moral code of his to keep himself safe. He will lie, he will abandon his friends, whatever, so long as he makes it out alive. 

2. But THEN, he realizes that his want for safety isn’t just for himself, this time. He realizes that he wants his friends to survive as well. (and that he has gotten way more attached than what was in his job description)

(look how fond he is!!!! Look how fond he is!!!!!! Im banging my head on the wall AWUGHH!!!!)

So 3. He is forced to go against his own nature of secrecy and being reserved and has to tell the team outright that he doesn’t want them to die.there is just something sooo *vague waving of hands* about a guy who absolutely hates talking about his feelings being forced to do so auughhhh. And he did it to convince Laios to not be reckless and get himself killed!!!!

That entire chapter had such a good journey through chilchuck’s emotional state. From him beign 100% ready to trick them in order to turn around (even contemplating breaking marcille’s staff!), then reminiscing on the fun or brave moments that theyd just had, then remembering that he was mad at them for being idiots and doubling down on his decision. When talking to that orc woman (Leed), he was trying to convince himself that his actions were justified, not just her. 

And I also quite like the moment when Leed realizes that Chilchuck isn’t angry at the others for putting him in danger, but for putting themselves in danger. Chilchuck didn’t realize this himself yet! Him saying that he wished the others would give up, even when he was removed from the equation, makes Leed realize that he is unselfishly wanting them to turn back so that they would be safe.

And when she points this out, Chilchuck is absolutely gobsmacked and barely even talks for the rest of the trip because he’s too busy thinking over this revelation. Love a guy who keeps to himself being forced to reconcile with the fact that he has actual friends he cares about now. Look at him!! Hes so shocked he doesn't even know what do to with himself !!! I love him!!!

And also, another part i really liked abt this chapter is when chilchuck is trying to convince Laios to go back and he’s like “LISTEN i know you are absolutely terrified for your sister but I have THREE PEOPLE TO WORRY ABOUT AND IM NOT USED TO THAT IM GOING TO VOMIT” its just so silly and endearing to me because he really isn’t used to caring about so many people at once – he’s a reserved guy who has been living alone for multiple years! – and its just so important to me because he’s been forced to acknowledge that he cares about his team so hes like “if you guys put yourself in mORE danger im going to scream and cry and throw up SO YOU BETTER TURN BACK NOW PLEEEAASEE”

Anyways, chapter 30 was so well done and was an absolutely fascinating insight into his character and I was instantly obsessed. There’s a lot of other reasons why I like Chilchuck, but this chapter is the definitive reason why he’s my favorite. (I also just like seeing a guy when he’s terrified, sue me.)

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

So, the Miraculous Ladybug TV Tropes page recently added this under the Broken Aesop section on the YMMV page:

Adrien/Cat Noir had many instances where he could have discovered the identity of Ladybug/Marinette, but always respected the private life of his beloved, despite knowing that learning it would bring them closer (The only time when he learned it accidentally, Adrien was punished with the apocalypse, no less, and a Retcon.) His attitude was presented as the right thing to do. In the meantime, Alya has been akumatized on the fact she wanted to know Ladybug/Marinette's secrets. Both times, she tried to violently force the issue with her powers and the second time was after she tried pressuring her into revealing them. But, as a reward for her pushy behavior, Alya has been entrusted with Ladybug's identity and the secrets of the Miracle Box. And Adrien's reward for respecting her privacy? He's still (and more and more) left in the dark, and will very likely be the last one to know.

Any thoughts?

I don't fully agree, but it's also not exactly wrong.

I love Alya, but I've never been a fan of the fact that she learned Marinette's secret identity, especially because the episode where it happens - Gang of Secrets - really failed to make the confession feel like a wise move. It's one of the many episodes with a wacky moral.

For those who don't remember, the episode has most of Marinette's female friends worrying about her. They know that she's keeping secrets because, for some reason, Marinette didn't tell anyone about her breakup with Luka:

Rose: They were so cute together! Alya: Yeah, except they broke up. Juleka: He was like super sad when they did. Alya: But the real problem here is that Marinette never told us anything. If Luka hadn't told Juleka, who told Rose, who told Mylène, who then told Alix, who finally told me. Then I, her BF in the whole world would still be in the dark! Yesterday I was in the restroom and I heard her crying.

This is... really weird. Why didn't Marinette tell them? The episode never explains and I can't figure out her logic because they'd obviously learn the truth. There's no way that Juleka wouldn't know!

My best guess is that the writers wanted a conflict over secrets, but they didn't want to have Marinette's girl friends pick up on her Ladybug-based lies as that would invite a level of complexity that they really can't resolve. But that's a meta reason. As far as the actual text goes, there's nothing to explain this baffling choice.

What's even more weird is that making it about the Ladybug secrets would have worked if Alya was the only one worried because the episode ends with Alya learning the truth. Having the episode only be about Marinette and Alya would make a lot of sense. Instead, it's about the whole, rarely-seen girl group so we're stuck with the Luka conflict. Yay.

Either way, I'm not wild about the actions Alya and Co take. Their first choice is to call Marinette. When she doesn't pick up, they leave a very sweet message. If things ended there, then we'd be fine, but right after that, we get this:

Alya: Maybe we should go to her house. What do you think? Mylène: We'll give her an eternal friendship bracelet so she never forgets that friends can tell each other anything and that we'll always be there for her.

This isn't a terrible idea. Checking on a friend when you're worried about them is a reasonable thing. The problem is the way that check up goes down. The girls basically invade Marinette's room and start messing with her stuff like this is some fun little hangout session, almost discovering the miracle box in the process:

Marinette: What are you doing here? Alya: We're just checkin' in on you, girl. Rose: Aw, it looks just like a real house, look how the roof comes off to show the inside! Marinette:(frantically) No! No, don't touch that! Move away! (As Rose opens the roof, Marinette gets down, pushing past through her friends and Rose as she hides what is inside of the dollhouse, while Rose accidentally drops the roof, which cracks. The girls gasp in shock.) Rose:(kneels to pick up the cracks) Sorry, Marinette! Marinette:(angrily) Will you please leave my room?! Alya: Chill out Marinette, it's just a doll house. We'll totally help. Marinette: No you won't, please go! Alya: Okay Marinette, there's clearly something wrong and we're not leaving you like this till you tell us what it is.

The scene goes on like this until Marinette lashes out and tells them to get out even if it means ending her friendship with them, which is a response that I find totally justified. Marinette is quite obviously very distressed by her friends' presence and they are refusing to listen to her pleas to leave. They're also giving that refusal in a highly confrontational manner, which is the completely wrong tone for conveying concern. They do not come across as caring. They come across as demanding.

Marinette has every right to be upset by that. It's okay to not want people to invade your room, touch your stuff, and demand to know you're secrets. It's also okay to get upset when people keep ignoring your clearly stated and perfectly reasonable boundaries.

While I fully support wellness checks, this is not how you do them. It's like a variation on the scenes where people confront Gabriel in Adrien's name. They're all impressively terrible examples of how you handle a very complex situation. Worst possible way you could go about it. Children, do not try this at home!

Of course, Marinette's justified reaction leads to the girls getting akumatized, leading to a fight, leading to Ladybug saving the day, leading to everyone being friends again even though the girls never apologize for how they went about their wellness check. Rose's quick sorry for breaking Marinette's doll house is the only one we get in the entire episode. Then we get this:

Alya: You go ahead girls, I just have one last thing to say to Marinette. (closes the door to Marinette's room) You didn't tell us everything, did you? A journalist and a BFF can tell these things. I won't try to figure it out or force it out of you. (sits beside Marinette) If you can't tell me what's in your heart, it's your right. Marinette: Will we still be friends? Alya: Marinette. I'm your best friend, and I'll always be. That's why it kills me that I can't help you with whatever's making you feel so alone. (Alya sighs, and is about to leave Marinette's room when Marinette grabs her hand.) Marinette: Alya, wait! Stay. You're right, I am alone. (grows increasingly emotional) More than ever before. I can barely take it anymore! You know why I broke up with Luka? Not because I don't like him, he's amazing! It's 'cause there's something that I can't tell him. You know why I have to forget Adrien? For the exact same reason! You're right, I keep secrets, I lie all the time! I lie to my friends, to my parents, to everyone and the worst thing is, I can't do it any other way! Alya: There's always another way. Marinette: No, not this time. I have no choice. All this is bigger than us, Alya. Way too big. Alya: If it's too big, two of us can handle it better than one. Marinette: If I tell you, things will never be the same between us again. (shakes her head) It'll mess up everything, maybe even destroy it. Alya:(voice breaking) Marinette, I'm your very best friend. Marinette: And I… I'm Ladybug.

Maybe this is just me, but this doesn't feel like Alya respecting Marinette's boundaries. It's certainly not as bad as the earlier scene. In fact, I like a lot of this in a vacuum, but because of that earlier scene, this one feels uncomfortable. Once again, Alya is so sure that she knows what she's talking about even though she really doesn't.

In the first scene, Marinette was right that they all needed to get out so that she could protect the Kwamis and in this scene she was right that the Ladybug reveal wasn't the kind of thing where sharing was the clear right choice. This would all play so much better if Alya said her first few lines and then actually left, only to be called back by Marinette several hours later. Then we'd really feel like Marinette was making an informed choice instead of revealing her identity in a panic.

Another option would be to have Alya offer comfort without needing to know what is upsetting Marinette, maintaining the secret identities while also giving Marinette some much needed support. Saying she'll support Marinette no matter what and then getting up to leave just doesn't feel super supportive to me. It feels like Alya is (unintentionally) making Marinette panic by saying one thing while technically doing another.

Remember, Marinette just had a really stressful day where she almost lost all of her friends, making this an incredibly charged moment that ends with Alya leaving while clearly disappointed. Of course Marinette would try to salvage that! Her brain isn't focusing on Alya's genuine words. It just sees Alya leaving and panics. It doesn't help that this opening line would put a lot of people on edge:

You didn't tell us everything, did you? A journalist and a BFF can tell these things.

"I know you're still keeping secrets, but I respect that" is not the best way to start a conversation with someone who is clearly struggling.

Because of these issues, I don't feel like Marinette truly decided to make this serious choice. I feel like she blurted it out in the middle of a panic attack, so this scene never gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. This is especially true because we never get to truly see the fallout of Alya processing the reveal and comforting Marinette. The scene just ends and the next episode has them back to their usual dynamic, just with the bonus element of Alya knowing the whole Ladybug thing.

To be fair to Alya, a lot of this comes back to our oft-discussed issue of Miraculous trying to speed run major story lines in 20 minutes because it's a formula show so it can't let things play out properly. That doesn't change the fact that this feels rushed and unsatisfying. It's not the natural conclusion to an episode where Alya learns to respect Marinette's boundaries, but I don't think that's actually the lesson here. The lesson seems to be that Marinette should share her secrets with her friends to lessen her mental burden.

Once again, that's a lovely lesson in a vacuum, but a really weird one for the show that gave us Chat Blanc and Miracle Queen in the previous season and that will include Sentibubbler, Ephemeral, and Nino accidentally outing Alya to Gabriel in the exact same season. Season five will even see Luka leave the country because he knows the secret identities!

Writers, when it comes to secret identities, you really need to pick a lane. Are they good or bad? Is sharing them a No Good Very Bad Thing, an act of trust, or no big deal? The inconsistency around this topic is a major issue for the show as the Alya reveal really undermines everything going on with Ladynoir. While there's solid logic for Ladynoir not sharing, similar logic applies to Alya at this point because Gabriel literally knows her secret identity! Through no fault of her own, Alya is not a safe person and that makes it really hard to watch Alya get the reveal while Adrien stays in the dark. I can justify him not knowing. I can't justify Alya knowing.

I'll wrap this up by saying that I don't agree that Adrien has respected Ladybug's boundaries to the point where it feels like he should have been rewarded (narratively speaking, of course. This is a story after all). He may not be all that pushy about an identity reveal, but he's pretty freaking pushy about Ladynoir becoming a thing, so Ladybug not being ready to trust him does feel earned. Plus, as I said above, it's not like there's no logic behind them keeping their identities a secret. We know that they're dating on the civilian side, but as far as they know, they're total strangers.

If you look at it from that perspective and ask, "what are the benefits of a reveal," you'll find that they're not overwhelming, especially when compared to the risks that come with a mind-controlling super villain on the loose. I totally get why Marinette isn't telling him a thing, I'm just not really sure why she needed to tell Alya. The more logical route here is for Marinette to keep her secrets and look for support on the Ladybug side of things. Ideally that support should be Chat Noir or Su-Han, but it could be Alya, too. I still think that's a bad call since Alya's identity is in the villain's hands, but it would still make more sense than Marinette telling Alya all of her secrets. Another route would be for Alya to learn by accident. She walks in at the wrong time and, ooops, no taking that back. That's the only way I'd personally write Alya learning at this point in the story.

Sorry if this one was a bit of a ramble, the writing around the topic of secret identities is one of the elements I truly don't understand. I have no idea what the writers are doing here. It's not even a "you didn't think this through" thing like the sentimonster stuff. It's a "you spent all of last season telling us that identity reveals are bad and you're about to spend all of this season also telling us that, so why do we randomly get an identity reveal that's magically okay? Rena Furtive doesn't even do anything useful for the plot, why make her a thing?? Are you even trying to tell a coherent story???"

[lumineary-arts]

Saw you ask about ppls AUs uh

Most of mine, admittingly, don't have designs yet. At least not drawn ones. Oops!!

But I can like?? Still ramble ig?

I also have a swap AU! I haven't posted a lot ab it, but it's called Solver Shift.

In it I put Sam in Cyns place. So the DDs have pink accents (wasn't comfortable using Doll and making them red, despite barely drawing DD armbands anyways - personally at least)

Some places I'm still unsure about, like idk whether Khan and Nori should be direct swaps with Ron & Tessa or should be put in Tessas parents position. If I go the latter idk who to put in Tessas place lol.

Ron and Tessa weren't actually ever romantically involved. They were just best friends, and were like "well we live together, we both kinda wanna know what having kids is like. So let's raise one together"; insert Nuke (N) being built. Tess survived a few years into his life, they built Cyn and then yada yada you know the story - dead mom

If it wasn't obvious by Ns name, the rail gun gets replaced by explosives. Thank Cyn for that, it was her idea. (They both take canonverse Uzi her engineering skills, but Cyn takes the more unhinged aspect of the personality.) - Nuke was like "we gotta do something about the DDs but idk what!" And Cyn, sparkly eyed and all, was like "Let's blow them up!"

I need to figure out some episode stand ins seeing as Cyn is younger but still sticks to N like glue. Beau takes Dolls place, they'd be Similar in age to Cyn (aka I gotta give them a body design F)

Oh also, as for befriending the DDs -- whilst Ep1 would run similar to canon; after that Thad/T would bond faster with the siblings than Uzi/Z bc they keep their canonverse personalities mostly!! So that's a reverse. Also T wouldnt want to kill the Prom unlike V, he just genuinely wants to make friends 😭

Don't ask me why Beau is at the prom, being younger and all. Might just make it an all years general prom rather than just the graduating class.

Next AU yay

Blood & Bats is a Vampire/Human AU! DDS and Solver Drones are vampires, you get the gyst!

N & Cyn are bio siblings, got separated bc of a divorce. Eventually both were separately taken away for shitty parenting, one of which caused Cyn to get vampirism one way or another. She also has DID/OSDD1 in this AU, the Solver conciousness isn't an evil entity here, just s Persecutor under the definition of "Misguided Protector who hurts as a form of protection" -- they're basically just a terrified vampire kid who thinks they're a danger and thinks isolation is the only way to keep their lived ones safe.

At some point the Elliots adopt N, later Cyn too. They also have previously adopted V and J. As time goes on, the alphabet trio one by one get turned by Cyn/Solver but they catch her after that so Tessa never is turned.

Uzi is basically a half vampire. Her mom was one, her dad wasn't. I don't remember the details atm, but I assume I've posted them somewhere in the tag on my account, but iirc Khan killed Nori in a moment of shock and survival instinct when finding out. Uzi doesn't know this. She finds out later after being turned herself (on accident!) - either through N or Cyn. Might do N to draw a parallel to the miscommunication between ep 2 and 3. Bc yeah Uzi would assume it's on purpose and he broke a promise.

Once they fix things, she finds out about her dad killing her mom and she runs away from home, terrified he might kill her too -- she crashes at the siblings place OR Thads place. I'm not sure yet. Both have pros and cons.

Khan cant easily access the manor, needs to be at an event for it. But the parents would want Uzi OUT asap. On Thads end; Teacher (Thad and Lizzy are either step or half siblings idk yet) and Ron (uncle, moved in after his sister died to help with the kids!) Would not let Khan take Uzi home sending as they see her terrified. They don't know what happened. But Khan has easier access bc he's friends with Teacher and obviously Lizzy is there which Uzi isn't thrilled about.

That's as far as I can remember the storyline -- there would still be parallels to some episodes! Ep 4 would still happen! Just some would survive! Rebecca would be found by one of the alphabet trio and turned to save her life. She's wheelchair bound after that. Sam survives but everyone thinks he got too high and doesn't believe him when he talks rambling about Uzis vampire form (Becca keeps it secret bc like if she says something it by extension endangers the other vampires in the school which now includes herself)

Intertwined/Inteetwinjng Codes (Me when I keep going back and forth between both titles) is a next gen AU thing. It started off as a joke,,, oh well

Kids.

These little shits are twins, they started this whole rabbithole. They would boot up sometime after Ep 4.

Later on their parents would want to program another kid & adopt one. Invert Annika and Zagi, except unexpected thing happened and they now have two babies to upload. Insert Raven.

Annika is currently undergoing redesign, ignore how basic she looks compared to her siblings lol.

As for the last 2 kids -- they didn't WANT any more, but when being sent to another colony they run into this toddler with a baby, who are being attacked by other DDs so they step in. Whilst they argue with N, Uzi gets the kids to safety. They were gonna keep the kids at their place for that night but Olicia did NOT want to sleep in the same place as a DD & a ton of half DDs -- so Thad gets called at 3am 😭 hes the cool uncle to their kids so yk

Next day it turns out adoption wing is full, so the siblings get passed around Thad, Uzis dad and Nuzi a ton (their own colony got killed so they cant go back there) until Ray gets attached to Nuzi, and you shouldn't separate a baby from its bonded adults. Seeing as he already lost the code related parents, they didn't want to risk further hurting his programming. So the siblings were basically accidentally adopted by Nuzi, despite Olivia not being happy about it at first. But she didn't want to separate from Ray.

That's mostly that. Theres not too much lore tbh. Just a silly half joke AU.

Also I have 6 siblings IRL so I tend to like give my ship kids many siblings 😭 so ignore that fact lol, just projecting

Then theres like 3 more Cyn centric AUs.

2 are pretty small.

DD!Cyn AU that has no name yet is just the AS uploaded a copy of Cyn/the Base Drones conciousness into a DD body and kept her with the trio. That'll lead to major Identity crisis once Cyn realizes technically she's a clone and her memories aren't *hers*. Aside from that: Cyn and J constantly have beef bc of J abusing N, Cyn tries to get her to stop but just faces verbal abuse herself in return :(

Shes also pretty distrusting of Uzi at first bc like!! Nobody except Cyn ever spent time with N!! That's a Drone getting close to her big brother which possibly could hurt him in the long run if she turns out to be like the other teammates!! (She eventually warms up to her)

Then there is Trapped/Hivemind AU. Literally just Cyn trapped in the hivemind, unable to reach her body for control. She can HEAR the other Solver Drones and the DDs, as they're all part of the hivemind. But she can't communicate with them. No matter how hard she tries.

Especially when she hears N she will call out to him but not get a response

So shes probably on the brink of losing it

Then there is "Dormant" Absolute Solver

Originally it was gonna be "The AS lost interest in Cyn as a host" and ig it still kind of is correct-? I need to go back and forth between certain aspects lol

But long story short, Cyn now got a separate body from the AS, doesn't know it killed Tessa & comes to C9 with J & "Tessa". The AS just brought her as a tool to manipulate N with, but she doesn't know that. Cyn joins the group from ep 6 onwards. Yay more PTSD for the child I guess :)

I havent written out ep 6 yet but I think she'd be with N & "Tessa" for that part.

Ep 7 she ends up on the side of the rocks with Uzi, and walks at a distance after being told to basically F off bc Uzi doesn't trust her now but Cyn is scared to be alone. Uzi notices Cyn isn't okay tho.

(Varian tangled reference yay)

Might I add that seeing Uzis wings and tail in ep 6 would have majorly triggered Cyns PTSD but shes unaware of why she feels so scared. So seeing Uzis tail the whole time definitely adds onto the stress =)

During the fight Uzi would reach out to Cyn through the hivemind, both girls calling out to N through Cyns body. The AS doesn't like that and forcefully shuts Cyn down. It has admin rights over her after all.

By the time Cyn wakes up, the AS is grabbing her to blackmail N after just having eaten Doll. Talking about how he wouldnt want to hurt his baby sister (hes aiming his laser cannon at the AS for context). Then it gets bored, drops Cyn and the regular program ensures. Except Cyn took Tessas gun and shoots herself free from the tentacles and runs to the pit after seeing Nuzi be pulled in. Whilst shes there trying to figure out how to get them back up (seeing as she cant use her Solver on them, or at least not Uzi. The show us so unclear if it works on DDs or not) the scene goes on.

I'm not sure yet who Cyn will stick with, probably N bc I've more ideas. BUT also I'm waiting for episode 8 to decide that for sure. Same with the ending. I got multiple bad ending ideas and also a good ending :) ep 8 will determine which one will be canon :)

Oh yeah Cyn lol -- both new and old ref bc of the oil canister I didn't draw in the new one yet. She still has it as you can see by the oil tubes!

Also the Good!Ending DAS!N would run a Daycare post canon. IC!N also runs one. I just like having N work with kids.

Most of these (I think all except DD & Trappsd Cyn) are tagged on my account probably with some more info

Idk if the tags will show up tho bc they don't always for me when searching for them :(

My pinned post has the tags listed I think

I think that was all of them hm (istg if I forgot one 💀)

OKAY THIS ONE'S SUPER IN DEPTH I'M HEAVILY INTRIGUED. MULTIPLE AU'S DUDE!! I LOVE IT, KEEP EM COMING. Loving the ideas behind the swap AU. Putting Sam in Cyn's place is unique, I hadn't heard anyone do that before!! Also the thing about using pink is fair, I did use red but I didn't keep that in mind! A vampire AU's extremely fitting for Murder Drones, being a substitute for the Solver/Disassembly model. Since ep. 4 is my favorite, I love the fact it'd still play out here. Also I must say I REALLY like the next gen AU designs??? I actually kinda wish we saw more next gen stuff, or maybe I'm just not looking in the right places. Either way I very specifically love Rexim and Raven's designs, I think the color choices are really speaking to me. ALSO ALL THE CYN FANS ARE GONNA BE EATING UP THE CYN-CENTRIC AU'S. But it seems like the poor girl could never catch a break. WONDERFUL WORK ALL AROUND!!

[beadyeyes]

Alien Romulus review so spoilers because I'm so so disappointed after being told by every one how good it was and how great the effects were (you all lied to me) so so so long so so so so I don't know if it's worth reading

👍 Loved that they kept up the tradition of killing the people who smoke on screen first

👍 Technology design choices were so fun and did what Prometheus failed to do as a PREQUEL. Also failed to do what the movie itself should've done as a SEQUEL and kept notably similar design choices BUT STILL ADVANCE THE TECHNOLOGY?

👎 They made a group of people so unlikable or undeveloped that I didn't care if they lived or died.

👎 The cousins blatant bigotry against Andy came off mostly as racist AND ableist with no good reason whatsoever. Especially since it clearly wasn't justified by his mother's death because the synthetic in question that "caused her death" was justified in saving more lives over the few. His choice to leave his own family behind despite being so torn up about his mom too? And finally his weird breathing and hovering scene with the pregnant sister right after his girlfriend died was lowkey creepy and I hope it wasn't trying to imply he was the one who got her pregnant? Bottom line he deserved it and his death was the only entertaining one. Was that supposed to be on purpose?

👎 The boyfriend was a bland unlikeable character who failed to even be good enough for meat fodder + deserved to die for wasting screen time AND for letting his cousin be a racist dick to Andy despite them needing the for the whole fucking trip to happen. Worthless character.

👎 First facehugger impregnation being a woman. What a spit in the face.

👎 The fact that it was also a woman I didn't even know the name of! But had 1 more second of development than the rest and seemed like she could've been a cool character if the screen time wasn't logged by unlikeable men. Her alien birth scene was so tone deaf to the original horror of the series idk. I get not wanting to repeat the same thing but the worthless guys survived those facehuggers too easily for her to be the gratuitous birth fodder.

👎 Pregnant sister. I don't know how that could've been done differently but yea. Her boob slime was so. 🙄

👎 Her alien wannabe engineer baby thing sucked. It was so corny I laughed outloud I don't know how it could've been done better but making the aliens more humanoid but not in an uncanny way, like a weird trying too hard to be scary way, felt like a disservice to the viewers intelligence? The fact that it was a full sized thing in like 3 seconds too? No offense but wouldn't it be scarier to fight something small and newborn baby like instead of Grown Ass White Man #72

👎 Rooks facetracking shit was so gagworthy and bringing him back wasn't the tribute to the og movie like they wanted it to be. Remember how the big bang theory would make references by just naming randome nerd shit in succession? That's what he was. Just because you have a character come back doesn't mean it fits the theme of the movie you're developing.

👎 Rook's non-ambiguous characterization as evil. Just lame and defeats the complexity of the original character as well as how the synthetics have been developed.

👎 Her name is Rain and that's my name she wishes she was me so bad.

Rain was just so? Such an underdeveloped character who kicked ass and I appreciated her like? Waiting till Andy had seizure to help him out? I don't know. She just had no backstory or substance and Andy's whole character being there to protect her was fucking lame. Seeing her change that at the last bit was like yay development but then Andy gets killed so then it was just whatever.

Andy's character again, being there to protect Rain and not develop on his own. His disabilities being "cured" for most of the movie. Why the accent? Anyways I'm glad he was there because he was the shining star of the whole thing and even that felt a bit too on the nose as if they knew every one else was worthless.

The movie had a few jumpscares and the gore was nothing compared to ANY of the previous movies. Ultimately I felt nothing for the entire hour and half except for when the cousin got slimed, which I laughed. The mix of CGI was strange. 1 out of 10 as fuck! Do you think they're gonna make a sequel?