#and she doesn't love jc but she would rather be with him than be alone

[simplykorra]

I'd rather be rescued than alone

[truly-morgan]

[WWX is oblivious]

WangXian | Mo Dao Zu Shi Modern AU 24-03-2021

[#wangxian modern AU]

So this takes place when they are still teenagers. lwj has been pining for wwx for /years/ now, but wwx is the most oblivious boy on earth. lan zhan is just one of his close friends with who he has sometimes rather intimate moments alone with him. But really they are just close friends!

Many wouldn't understand how a troublemaker like wwx could be friends with lwj who would never be caught alive breaking any rule (other maybe if wwx coaxed him into doing so). Most think it’s their mutual interest in art in general that links but jc suspect that lwj is ready to put up with wwx for other reasons, where wwx had simply decided lwj could be a good friend after many years of teasing him.

jc is even convinced that they might be secretly dating and wwx never told him or jyl. the way he always talk about lwj and is ready to stand up for him if anyone dares to criticise him gave him this impression. Why wouldn't he shut up about him if there wasn't /at least/ a little something.

So one day he tries to make him admit to it. "Anyway, how are things with lwj?". wwx looks at him confused, clearly not seeing what he was talking about. "Doesn't he have a special someone?" tried to tease jc, just knowing this special someone /as/ to be wwx.

"So you noticed too" then grin wwx, getting closer to him, "who do you think it is? my bets are on mianmian, she is pretty cute and also seems interested," he said.

then jc looks at him as if he has grown a second head, wondering whether or not wwx is fucking around with him. Where did he get the idea that he was in love with lqy? For someone who is so often with lwj he was really blind.

"Wait, no, that's not what I meant," jc said, frowning a bit, "I was talking about you and lwj".

Then it was the turn of wwx to frown, confused again. "What do you mean, me and lwj? We are just friends of course" he laugh a bit, yet realise soon jc was being serious.

"wwx, you must be kidding me right now? Are you blind? lwj is clearly in love with you!".

wwx then shakes his head, not believing him "Come on, lwj is just being really friendly, he didn't have many friends when he was young, he just shows his appreciation differently".

at this point, jc really believes that /he didn't notice/. "He lets you play with his ribbons!!" in one of their visits to the lan house, since jfm and lqr had taken the habit of having tea, he had learned what it meant. nowadays most people from the lan family were wearing a necklace made of said ribbon with the family crest as a pendant, but lwj had apparently decided to go for a more old-fashioned way like lqr, actually wearing the ribbon.

jc could only remember lwj with long hair, mostly wearing it to tie them or as decorative. He had even been shown one of their ancestor's ribbons, so he could tell the one they were wearing today was way shorter.

What he had remembered well was the tradition of not letting other people than family and partner to touch it. It had somehow stuck with him when he was younger.

wwx was also here, so he /has/ to know, he was most likely even told again by lwj when things weren't as good between them.

Yet he would often see him play with it as it was still in lwj hair, nearly threatening to untie his well-made hair. He had even /seen/ wwx wear it as his neck or wrist when the two of them were alone. He was pretty sure he had even caught glimpses of lwj being one to put it on.

Someone who followed the rule like lwj wouldn't just let anyone play with this ribbon. jc had seen him legitimately get angry when people were insisting on touching it or seeing it more up close. Clearly, he wouldn't have let wwx play with it and /wear it/ if he didn't mean that much to him.

yet after nearly half an hour of trying to convince him jc gave up, not believing how oblivious wwx was.

He ended up talking to lwj, directly asking him if he and wwx were going out. He still had some doubt that he was being fucked with.

Yet all he received was a straight forward "no", lwj admitting he never told wwx because he didn't believe he would reciprocate his feeling, but that he was good with simply being a friend, it was better than nothing.

and this is when jc decided that despite both being considered really smart, they are also both really dumb. Where was this "wwx wouldn't feel the same" coming from? He had never seen his brother act this way with anyone else. Yes, he did have crushes over the years, yet he would always come back to "lan zhan! lan zhan!".

So jc decided to try and put them together, lwj trying to stop him despite not being able to kill off the sudden motivation in the young man. Yet, jc soon realise that fair means won't lead him anywhere, so he manages to rope lwj into following his plan to /show him/ that wwx does feel the same, at least in a way. Sure his convincing isn't totally fair, as he plays on lwj pining for his brother and some technic wwx usually uses. He didn't believe it would work, as he obviously is not wwx, but it still works after some time.

His plan is simply to have lwj divert some of his attention to a girl, anyone would do (except jyl obv), as long as he gives the impression that he does get friendlier to her. jc plays the other part where he sneaks in the idea that lwj is probably going to date her.

at first, wwx is all in for it, then denies it "How could lwj have time for dating? he's always studying!" to look a bit jealous of her. yet he still refuses to accept that he might like lwj more than he first thought.

Then comes the time for graduation and wwx is hit with the reality that he will most likely not be able to see lwj as often as he does, and that he will be far away and probably living thing he won't know and suddenly he feels /panicked/. What will happen to them if lwj starts dating someone? Why does the idea make him want to cry? It's not like he was in lo-

Oh.

And then that's how he realises it, that he /is/ in love with lwj, but just never admitted it to himself.

This is at that moment that he runs out of his house, ignoring the rain as he runs to take the subway, takes the bus and runs the rest of the way to the lan residence.

By chance this is lwj opening to him, suddenly confused and worried to find wwx soaking wet-

because of the rain, nearly shaking because he was getting cold. Yet he doesn't have the time to ask what he was thinking, because wwx nearly yells "Lan zhan I love you, go out with me!".

for an instant lwj stops working, trying to process what he has just been told. Was wwx really confessing to him? One look at the nervous and drenched wwx tells him this isn't another one of his jokes, he would probably not joke about this.

he softly calls his name, putting their forehead together. "of course I will" he answer with a smile.

This is all wwx needs to then kiss him, arm thrown around his neck to pull him closer, forgetting for a moment that he was soaking wet.

He ignored lxc coming from a room asking what was the yelling about, only to turn back and bloc lqr way and sight, saying that it was just wwx.

lwj soon after drags him inside, telling him in needs to change clothes before he gets sick. wwx obliges, teasing him by saying it has to be his clothes or he won't wear them, delighted at the blush he sees on lwj ears.

turns out the universities they wanted to go to are close to one another, so they could theoretically find a place together somewhere between the two.

wwx just knows he will never hear the ends of it when jc hears about his rather sudden confession and how he /might/ have loved lwj all this time. he's just not ready to let jc smugly reminds him how he had been right all this time about wwx just being very much in love with lwj, but too stupid to even notice it (or even notice the clear evidence that lwj was in love with him, even though he was the closest friend he had).

Original

[joanna-lannister]

JC Ask (sorry for asking so many🫠)

Do they have a dynamic trope? (enemies to lovers, sunshine x grumpy, etc?)

Who is the more romantic one?

What’s their opinions on PDA?

Which of their friends/family pokes fun at them for them getting flustered/affectionate? What’s something that reminds them of their partner(s)?

Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder (a photo, phone background, tattoo, clothing/accessory, etc)?

What is something they can never agree on? How do they meet in the middle?

Oh, don't be sorry, it's funny to answer to those! So thank you so much for your ask 😊❤️

Do they have a dynamic trope? (enemies to lovers, sunshine x grumpy, etc?)

Okay, well, obviously, they have the "Sibling Incest" dynamic trope 👁️👁️ But I think they would also fit the "Sunshine x Grumpy" one, Jaime being the sunshine one and Cersei the grumpy one, tho in a world where they are free to do as they please (meaning they can marry, or at the very least be together, and no one would bat an eye), Cersei's heart would be lighter. Also lowkey "Childhood Sweethearts"? Because they love each other since childhood.

Who is the more romantic one?

Jaime, or at least, he is more showing his romantic side than Cersei.

What’s their opinions on PDA?

Jaime LOVES PDA! He loves showing Cersei belongs to him, and him alone. He is that possessive lol. Cersei, on the other hand, rather keep showing her love for him in private moments, especially at first, when the secret is out, but when she is anxious, she reaches for his hand. And when she is jealous, she doesn't hesitate to kiss him or touch him. Jaime knows what she is doing, and he loves it.

Which of their friends/family pokes fun at them for them getting flustered/affectionate? What’s something that reminds them of their partner(s)?

TYRION! He always makes fun of them for being "lovey dovey". Also, Catelyn makes little comments about it, but she thinks it's cute. As for something that reminds Jaime of Cersei; floral perfume, especially if it has hint of lavender, while Cersei is reminded of Jaime in the features of their children. They look so much like him, and it makes her heart flutter in her chest.

Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder (a photo, phone background, tattoo, clothing/accessory, etc)?

Their wedding rings! (If they are married obviously, but let's imagine they are 🙄) But otherwise, Jaime has a photo of Cersei set as his phone background, and Cersei steals Jaime's shirt or t-shirt (especially when she is pregnant because they are more comfy). Also, Cersei has a necklace with J pendant around her neck. And last, I can picture them having their birthdate tattooed (Cersei on the wrist and Jaime on the forearm).

What is something they can never agree on? How do they meet in the middle?

Ooof movie night. They can never agree about it because Cersei wants to watch thriller or horror movies while Jaime doesn't care about them. In the end, Jaime lets Cersei win. Also, jealousy is a huge issue. Jaime is a big jealous baby, and can't handle other men looking at Cersei, and they often fight about it. Usually they resolve the issue with sex, but yeah, it's a troublemaker in their couple. And then the children. When one of their children wants to do something and Cersei says "no", Jaime says "yes". Not because he wants to piss her off, but because he wants to act like the cool parent, so they have to find a compromise between them.

[yunmeng-jiang]

This got a little long, so my thoughts on it are under the cut!

Personality:

"Personality not too strong" (like a lot of these requirements) comes off to me as JC saying "the opposite of my mom." Therefore, I think his idea of a personality that IS too strong is:

talks over you in conversation/doesn't let you get a word in, insists that their view is the right one and they if you disagree you're denying reality

imposes their will over yours, doesn't want to let you make your own choices, doesn't support you in your decisions

nags and belittles you, complains loudly and incessantly about your habits

Lan Xichen doesn't fit that description at all - he's gentle, offers advice rather than demands, is willing to make compromises when needed, and is supportive of his loved ones.

Talkativeness:

I think this falls partially under the first point in the section above, but also involves a willingness to set aside quiet time - this one, I think, is also influenced by Wei Wuxian in some ways. Jiang Cheng is shown to be frustrated by WWX's constant conversation and noise, expressing a desire to be left alone sometimes or at least not be constantly talked at.

Lan Xichen is very good at discerning people's needs and wants, including in conversation; he doesn't overwhelm LWJ by talking too much, and he's willing to just sit and spend time with JGY, or quietly drink tea with his uncle, or just play music on his own. I think he perfectly fits the bill on this one.

Hard-working and thrifty:

We see that he is hard-working in the novel, when he insists on helping Meng Yao with house chores despite his physical state - admittedly, laundry is not his strong suit, but with that plus his dedication to cultivation training to the point where he's considered to be one of the best cultivators in his general, and his efforts to lead his sect well, I think we can say he's hard-working.

"Thrifty" is a bit less obvious, considering that he grew up in luxury, but the fact that he was an efficient and effective leader to his heavily-affected sect during and after the war, and rebuilt Cloud Recesses when it had suffered significant damages (and probably the loss of many sect treasures) while also recruiting and training new disciples and restoring their library, tells me that he has a good mind for budgeting. It's true that JGY did offer him some monetary help with the rebuilding efforts, but that was still a difficult and expensive task!

Must treat Jin Ling nicely:

Given that he's kind even to those rejected by society or deemed too difficult to deal with and generally has a gentle, polite, and friendly demeanor - even towards Wei Wuxian, who he's pretty upset with post-timeskip - I think it's also safe to assume that he'd be good to Jin Ling!

Summary/caveats:

All in all, I think Lan Xichen fits all of Jiang Cheng's requirements except for the one about cultivation not being too high.

Now, it's probable that JC was thinking of women when he created this list, since he cares about his duty to his sect and part of that is producing heirs (though he is unmarried post-timeskip, I would guess that he's either planning on adopting, naming one of his disciples as heir, or just putting it off until Jin Ling is older, or - unlikely but possible - he already has a wife and he just never mentioned it/she never came up,) and it's very possible that he's not attracted to men - same with LXC, if you don't read xiyao, nielan, etc as romantic.

Another aspect of this is that Lan Xichen is also a sect leader. Jiang Cheng obviously doesn't want to give up his sect for the sake of a marriage, and I don't believe LXC would either, so that's a definite hurdle! Maybe they could get together post-canon if Lan Xichen ends up leaving his brother in charge of the sect, but I don't know how likely that is.

lan xichen vs jiang cheng's partner requirements

the image is a screenshot of lan xichen from MDZS Q.

was not too sure about a lot of these so i did kind of guess.

explanations:

naturally beautiful: yes

graceful and obedient: is graceful. also seems much more respectful of authority and tradition than his brother; will try to find a compromise or do as he's told rather than directly oppose you?

hard-working and thrifty: uncertain how thrifty he is given that he comes from a rich sect. then again maybe he learned when hiding with meng yao.

comes from a respected family: yes

cultivation level not too high: no

personality not too strong: tbh idk what this means? he's more willing to hear you out than most of the cast but you probably could not steamroll him in an argument.

not too talkative: idk man he seems to like to chat. but idk man.

voice not too loud: seems to speak at a normal volume.

must treat jin ling nicely: uncertain, we don't really see him interact with jin ling.

[llycaons]

ep30 (2/2): don't trust like that

this shot is soo cute

and so is this one!!!!!

I was GAPING when this happened the first time. I was like ONE YEAR???!!!!

wwx's happiness here is so heartbreaking to me. it shouldn't be, it's great that he has this, but knowing what's coming makes it so hard

yeah. yeah. he remembers his situation rather quickly anyway

this is so scary I would be freaked out by it in all honesty

THERE HE IS!!!! BABY JIN LING!!!!!

jgy's face after his dad told him not to hold jin ling...that is the face of murder. jgs so confident, so secure in his power. im so glad jgy killed him

on the other hand, I get this is disrespectful jgy but it's kind of a petty reason to murder a man no? kind of a small thing to get upset about. wen ning was tortured multiple times and he's way chiller than you. like it sucks that you're not being completely accepted but maybe aspiring to the cultivation gentry isn't the healthiest profession for you to pursue

so this whole conversation is noteworthy because it's all very promising. wwx is not alone or without friends in koi tower. lwj suggests inviting him -

defends him-

is backed up thoroughly by lxc-

omg this is hilarious. hero-of-the-common-people jgy truthers, is THIS your man? ready to blame a servant if a higher-ranking family member is upset? to get into the good graces of this family member?

he's so clearly out for himself, this isn't even a case of antagonists with good points who are vilified for wanting to kill babies. jgy hates the system because it hurt his mother and himself but he just wants to climb the ladder to personally get power and respect in it, and he steps on other commoners along the way

the beacon towers were his one good idea and it is a shame that they've been tainted with his other crimes

anyway. say that lwj. love this line

-and is further supported by an unlikely ally, jzx, whose got like three personality traits and one of them is loving his wife

'persuade' hmmm I don't think this would have gone over as smoothly as they claim. lwj certainly looks wary

extremely funny thing to say to the man who knows wwx better than literally anyone else in the country

it's so nice that this is lxc's vision. but jgs agreeing to forgive their personal grudge against the wens (which is exciting!!! this would have been considered out of the question a few monhts ago!!) does not reassure. jgs wants that seal and if an ambush that's calculated to look like self-defense is what it takes, I'm sure that's what he'd do

like jgs doesn't seem like a particularly proficient master of tactics, or really the type to do such a thing, but I'm sure he has advisors who would be super into it. and even if not, if he has enough support in the crowd, he can frame wwx's resistance as anything he wants and have him attacked right there

jzx itching his holes....dang I don't like him but that curse has got to SUCK

she's so happy 😭 and so so beautiful I love her

and with ONE line, jgy dooms the entire wen clan to death. god.

personal highlights:

jyl looking so gorgeous in her wedding robes!

xz's acting in general this episode. he looked about to start crying the entire time, and I was right there with him

jyl giving wn the soup...truly such a beautiful soul

jc asking after wwx's injury WAS kind of him. I admit it

wwx, looking completely dead inside as he accepts something that makes him unhappy once again. rly spoke to me

a-yuan clapping so so cute

BABY JIN LING!!!!

'who did he kill without mercy? please tell me'

jyl, jc, and jl's little family scene 🥺

[annebaneriddle]

There is one thing that Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's relationship's outcome that I think to be really deep and that helped me a lot with my own relationships:

It's ok to love someone, but don't want them to be a part of your life because of how much they hurt you.

JC always made WWX's life hard (together with Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan). He made WWX have to downplay things he did (like killing the Xuanwu with Lan Wangji) because he got jealous instead of being happy that he did something amazing, he said WWX was now an enemy of the sects when the accord was only to say WWX had seceded YunmengJiang, he said WWX killed Jiang Yanli even if he saw with his own eyes the Yao cultivator running her with a sword after she willingly pushed WWX out of harm's way, and the list goes on.

Yes, WWX still sees JC as his little brother, still loves him, and still would protect him with his own life if needed, but he doesn't want to be neat JC anymore and that's ok.

Loving someone without wanting to be near them doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't make you an hypocrite. Love alone doesn't fix anything, love alone can't keep an unhealthy relationship going on.

In my opinion, that's one of the most important life leasons MDZS gives. As a whole, MDZS is full of important leasons about the hypocrisy of politics, about how people will bend the truth to fit what they believe, about how sometimes a betrayal will come from where you less expect it, about how you better seek proof before believing everything that you hear, about how miscomunication can lead to tragedies. If I kept talking about all the life leasons MDZS gives us, I would write a wholess book, but, from all of them, the most important is surely that family (be it blood related or chosen) will not always be there for you when you need them the most, that they might blame you for even needing their help, that they might believe others rather than you, and that it's ok to love them from afar and no longer want contact with them. You can (and should) trust them, but you are in your right to have boundaries and keep your distance after that trust is broken. Your duty to yourself should come before your duties to the ones around you when it comes to things like that.

[vermillioncrown]

to add on to the anon who brought up the "read the fic" fic, imagine dbd!lwj meeting canon!lwj. especially if ot3 with wangxian ends up being the end pairing.

canon!lwj would definitely scorn his dbd counterpart for having flimsy feelings as wwx should be his one and only. but there would probably be undeniable jealousy for just having a friend that expands his point of view so much as well as seems to understand him on an intrinsic level.

you know who would also be jealous of friendships? jzx. and probably jyl just because she knows that dbd!jzx would have been easier to get along with or mellows out a lot more in comparison to hers. not that she loves him any less.

also zyx probably wouldn't even make it to the end of the heavens interfered showing before promptly deciding to pretend to unexist; if wwx's nasty m horny thoughts were shown...

then again, i don't think zyx is the only one that would have that reaction. in other reacting to canon fics, everything is still pretty much shown in the perspective of wwx right? but using dbd, which although is an unreliable narration has a lot of at least zyx's psychoanalysis of the other characters and the cultivation realm politics as a whole. everyone is getting exposed in this version:

lwj's horniness, the whole lan clan's strict adherence to the rules, wwx's squirrely brain, jwy's inferiority complex, jzx's foot-in-mouth disease, et cetera et cetera

hol up hol up hol up

we need to be very particular about when in the fic will character iterations meet each other. dbd!lwj is Going Through It (like every other fucker in the fic), and this isn't even his final form.

(and i can't talk about his final form because there's still stuff and spoilers and organic development and aaaaaaaaaa)

regardless of love shack endgame, friendship jealousy is something that canon!lwj will not consider until he realizes... how not alone dbd!lwj is (will be). noticing the ripple effects, small but significant enough.

if ot3, at first it galls canon!lwj that there's enough for him to love two people like that. y'know, the navigation of polyamory in a mainly monogamous society (for cultivators, bc the emphasis on cultivation partners. harems aren't new)

(lmao okay i'll say one thing: if it's the wangxian ot3, technically... zyx would rank higher than either wangxian, so they'd end up zyx's harem bois)

like, let's say iterations are allowed to meet each other at the same age/time.

teen lwjs: dbd!lwj would both envy and disdain canon!lwj for the single obsession he has. less distractions, but also the intensity would frighten him (dbd!lwj has more stuff to think about, so the energy for horney is being diverted). canon!lwj would disdain dbd!lwj for caring about some rando's opinion of him (like how you get used to loneliness and trick yourself into thinking you hate other people, if only to pretend you chose it yourself), but after seeing why dbd!lwj latched onto zyx as a friend it'd make him reel.

late teens/young adult!lwj: redacted. it will be complicated, if only bc of war and wangxian development and maybe/maybe not demonic cultivation. adding zyx to the mix... and we already see (or at least i hope i portray) that zyx and wwx have the potential to get along (at least from dbd!lwj's pov). and dbd!lwj jelly af. i think i already said that dbd!wwx officially has a crush on zyx (the lwj crush is lagging but also there; there's just more... uh. 'homoerotic tension' at the moment between zyx and wwx from wwx's pov), so for things planned during the war, even if zyx doesn't want to be involved w wangxian, they're already stuck in their relationship (platonic or romantic). canon!lwj was angsting like hell during the war with regards to wwx, so dbd!lwj will probably go through similar hell, if not more hell bc he has actual romantic jealousy rather than the jealousy of brotherly intimacy between jc and wwx.

(ajf;aowiejfhaweir i wanna say somehting sssooooooo bad but i cannot do it to myself. i wanna write it and let y'all OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

i think both lwjs will think the other lwj has it bad, not worse, but adjacently bad. neighborly locations in hell.

post-war pre-ending lwjs: there's a final iteration of wangxian + zyx evolution. if not ot3, wwx's crush on zyx will need to be resolved. they will become good friends. i promise. and if ot3...

ha. hahahahahha. i will put lwj through some shit. lighter hearted shit, but shit nonetheless. but... things will end before the canon shitshow

so each lwj at this point will think the other has it worse bc they don't know their futures.

and then post-ending is as i described above.

=

with jzx, it's also the case of 'you can't miss what you don't know'. like, dbd!jzx in ch 19 is not having a great time (gonna drop the jzx pov chapter post-indoctrination camp arc huehue) and his friendship with zyx will evolve.

pre-BFF Breakup, canon!jzx would sneer outwardly, thinking that some bootlicker got to his mirror self. and then he'd see the conversations that gucci gang had, the immediate change to himself... it's not like he could have that. it'd be nice, maybe.

BFF Breakup: well, of course dbd!jzx would be betrayed, canon!jzx thinks. everyone is out to use him - that's a lesson he was able to absorb growing up in lanling (even if he sucks at playing the game, and his way of protecting himself is shutting everyone out). dbd!jzx sometimes thinks it's better to have never met someone that made him feel cared for and lose it. better to have not known what there was to lose.

BFF Makeup: canon!jzx is growing up, maturing. the subsequent maturation of gucci gang's friendship, and his capacity to recognize its worth makes him feel bereft. but i don't think he's a jealous or envious guy. makes him think what could have been, but he's busy dadding it up so canon!jzx will channel lessons learned to be the Best Boy and tackle the problems in lanling. dbd!jzx is gonna be more jaded (he learns a lot of things he wishes he can take back, even if he recognizes that it's better to have learned it) (ie. his freakout in ch 19 is him becoming way less ignorant of the state of affairs way too early, and it's bc of getting involved w zyx), but he is thankful for the lessons he's learned and that he's done the right thing even when it it's difficult (spoiler spoiler spoiler things will happen aaaaaaaaaa okay)

post-ending: canon!jzx will be jealous as fuck. because he's dead and dbd!jzx will live lol. maybe if he knew things earlier. if he took more action. maybes for the rest of his afterlife, until he reaches the front of the reincarnation queue

=

i think jyl would not be jealous. she'd see it as jzx's potential to grow, and work with what she has. that's another life, this is this life and the man she loves.

=

on everyone else's reaction to actually reading the fic: when is it being read, and up to what point?

the more i think about it, the more i think it depends on which chapter is being shown. like, i'm not shy about saying what's on my mind as long as i choose to share it and that's the same with zyx. even if it's revealed inadvertently, as long as the thought isn't half-baked and has a line of justification, i'm good with making a clown out of myself. but it's the really mean, uncharitable thoughts that zyx has that would make them uncomfortable. thoughts that if said, can never be taken back. those sort of things.

hmm how to say it. idk if it comes across - like, zyx is only properly behaved bc it gets them what they want and they want to behave. they're okay being a little silly and not having some dignity every once in a while. their appearance and comportment only matters so much because they understand the stakes of fucking up - otherwise there would be no fucks

pond soup, rolling on the ground for days, gremlin time. they care more about holding themselves up to their own standards

the embarrassment would come from 1) mean thoughts about people when they don't like mean people, thus making them a hypocrite 2) being wildly off the mark about how people feel about them (knowing that they are perceived, trying to account for it, and being wrong) 3) knowing something thinks sexually-adjacent stuff to them when they don't have the same sentiment towards that person is... incomprehensible, inconceivable, uncomfortable, cannot be retained in the mind. immediately loses their memory.

=

everyone else would be very uncomfortable, to say the least. throughout my life, i've been told that my assessment of other people's motivations, social dynamics, and wild guesses have been uncomfortably accurate. it's even worse with chinese social dynamics (from what i feel, but modern times, blah blah grain of salt - it's fiction and i'm modeling my fic after what i know and experience)

some things aren't meant to be said. chinese is a very high-context culture and language. to say things so plainly and bluntly, in such a clinical and dissecting way - it'd terrify the audience. 'bu shi ren' not a person, they'd call zyx.

(it's like zhou le's discomfort with zyx x1000000000000)

zyx's words and how they are said are the equivalent of dropping a nuclear bomb. no one wins. what can you say as a rebuttal? if you attack zyx, they'll readily admit their own faults. in fact, by dragging the fic out and exposing zyx, they will no longer give a fuck about keeping up. it's the final gambit, they'll dps the cultivation realm and fuck off. they will actively discard all relationships here. but if there are people who are willing to reach out even after everything, they will not deny them

kinda went through something like this in middle school/high school. it wasn't my most tactful moment, but there were two instances that i dropped some really mean truth bombs on someone (tldr there was a situation and i just couldn't take it anymore). it really fucked up our friendship for months each time, but after giving each other space, we were able to be honest and talk about stuff again

i'm sure wwx wouldn't mind reaching out. like in ch 14, while hurt by zyx's honesty, he was also drawn towards it. + the true convolutions of their way of thinking is enough to bring him back

lwj... he'd be really hurt. really really hurt at first. probably after pondering it, would accept it and unhurt himself. and he'd also go after someone that has seen him in a less-than-perfect light, and still thinks well (enough) of him.

jzx: i'm not talking about this. saving it because his feelings are very relevant to the next few chapters

zxz: <- ho. this one is also a thing. will too be relevant in the next few chapters

[cantfightmoonlight]

"Yeah, that I'm never going to get to be honest," She admitted with a small shrug. "Not that I can't appreciate your whole pack solidarity mentality or anything. I can and do. I think groups like the pack can offer a lot, but I also think the bond of certain species doesn't really change all that much to be honest? I mean witches are bonded too. But, at the end of the day, witch or not, wolf or not, we're all people. Some will like each other and go out of their way to scour every inch of the woods for someone else's behalf and others' won't. I don't think a pack or a witch bond really changes whether they'll inherently get along or chose not to leave each other behind, but what do I know," She gave him a small shrug as they continued to walk in strides.

"Funny," The corner of her lips tilted up ever so slightly in amusement as she watched his nostrils flare in annoyance. "So, let them. Last I checked, tinfoil hats aren't hurting anybody and if it makes them feel safer, then why not?" She pointed softly out. "It's okay, you know? To not be okay and to not try so hard to be the glue that holds everything together? I, uh, I get it though and I know you're the advisor so it's different. But, I, um," She tilted her back. Her eyes squinting as she let the rays of the sun kiss her cheeks rather than meet the other's gaze. "I never really let myself feel like I was completely apart something? Of a family? I think growing up knowing that someone you loved was going to die if you dared to get close to anyone, made it easy to shut yourself off. But, um, then the Delaney-Lopez's came in the picture and then Nico and the Reeds and I started to think maybe having a family wouldn't be so bad. That's the pack for you right? Your family? And so you invest everything into it and try to keep everyone together, only to realize that while you've been bending yourself over backwards, they don't even see the point in hanging out. So... I don't know. Family seems kinda bullshit these days, I guess. Just love the people you love, regardless of who they are and if they don't care about each other and would rather vote their friends siblings to live or where tinfoil hats, so be it. It's their lives and we can all do whatever the fuck we want, I guess..." She trailed off. Her shoulders lifting and slumping into a defeated shrug, knowing full well that she had probably disclosed more than she typically would like, but then again, if anyone knew how she was feeling at the present, she imagined it was probably JC.

"It could. Well, any word in the dictionary that starts with M," She gave him a small nod. "I know. I just meant that it's nice knowing for sure." At least for right now, because while she knew better than to say it out loud, they both knew fairly well that whatever who ever took them wanted to get out of taking them likely had an expiration date and, sooner or later, Meena and Dhruv might not be anymore use to them. "It could, though judging from how he was at the Pendulum, before well, you know, I'd take it if he came back from the dead, there wouldn't have been any taking. Just revenge," She pointed quietly out, though it was just as much of a theory as anything else. "Okay, so we make a list and divide and conquer, right? Though hey," She hesitantly reached out to rest her hand upon his shoulder. "We're going to do everything we can to find them, okay? You're not alone and, honestly, if it makes you feel any better, you're handling all of this a lot better than I would. Not to give you more witch ammo, but if it was Nico, I'd probably would have tried to tear the whole town down by now searching for him and then you'd all would have had to sedate me. Though oh yeah? Why's that? Or is that one of those whole confidential wolf things?"

"You'd think, but there was a lot of politics that went into the whole thing. Every journalist at the Times wanted to be on the Catalyst story and I guess I also didn't exactly agree with how things were being run? A lot of the people involved wouldn't be notified about a story that was about to be dropped until after the fact. I mean they did it to me even with, um, Silas, right after I chose to take a more freelance position so I could pursue other interests on top of writing.So, anyways, I guess, I'd rather be more my boss then have to placate to people who don't seem to give a damn about me," She shrugged once more. "It would, especially without a ring. Though, yeah, you may be right. You know her better than I do. I guess maybe I'm just pessimistic, but even if I know I wouldn't skip town without a word, it's sometimes hard to know if other people would see the best in you, especially if you're not sure you fully have given them reason to."

"Probably not, but she could have had a contingency plan? I don't know and I know you are. Just in a better way than a lot of us would which is something to be admire, JC. You're a good guy, even if you don't always let other people see it and mhm, yup. After you?"

JC rolled his shoulders in a distant shrug. "We're a bonded species looking for one of our own. It's expected. Wolves don't leave wolves behind." He too had been out and about with the Alpha, and Júlio César had the sense Jasmine had been referring to Nico specifically. Still, pushing onward, he gave a shake of his head. "No, I guess it doesn't. Between you and me, though...there's details, and then there's conspiracies. Some of the pack have gotten friendly with that one human with the bleached hair. And now? I've got them using all the communal tinfoil to make hats for keeping out the Martians. I don't know." His nostrils flared. Part of him knew certain wolves did things just to grate on him, but in truth, his already waning sense of humor was being stretched now to its very limits. So very few things were funny anymore. It was not that he did not want to have a good time, but piercing the helplessness clinging to him like a cloak was feeling more and more unlikely.

Watching her, JC gave an uneasy sigh. "An 'M' sound. Which could be any word in the entire dictionary, mind you." His nostrils flared momentarily. "And of course she's still alive." He had to say this, if only to avoid speaking the converse into existence. "Why even bother taking them someplace if the goal was just to kill them outright? That'd be stupid and reckless." He grit his teeth. "Why not Theo? Wasn't in the Catalyst's posse. People come back from the dead around here all the time." JC did not seriously believe this suggestion, but he allowed frustration to compel him. He shook his head. "I don't know. I think I'd try to tell people where I was. But an 'M?' That's so...vague. Motel. Movie theater. Mortuary. Hell, the morgue at the hospital." He knit his brow, pressing a finger to his temple. "That would be the right place to get surgical supplies, wouldn't it? For our phantom Frankenstein?" He sniffed. "Maybe they're not even blocked. Maybe they're just out cold. Anesthesia." JC grunted, his fist clenching and unclenching.

"Maybe they just threw it and it landed where it landed? Who knows? I'm finding it hard to figure out what is and isn't important here. There's so much...conjecture," he murmured, cocking his neck from one side to another now that a terrible, irritable ache had settled in the muscles there. He sighed again. "Well, I don't know if Nico and me are either." They weren't on bad terms, of course. They had been working together. But that goddamn meeting had soured JC even more so than usual. He disliked finding himself on a limb on his own, but he was also not the type of person to back off a limb worth standing on. Júlio César hummed. "Really? I'd think out of all the small towns in the world, this might be the one to make an investigative journalism career in, to be honest." He clicked his tongue.

"Well, I'm not sure you're supposed to ask a person's age. Even a vampire's, but what do I know? She's certainly skilled enough to know what she's doing, yeah." JC pursed up his lips. "Could they be keeping her someplace with...windows? Or outdoors? I know some of us are envisioning dark basements, but...threat of sunlight sans ring would do a good job of keeping you in line, yeah?" He shrugged. "I guess. But I don't know how I feel accepting she'd believe people would just...think she'd made a run for it." He would hope he would not be deliberately ghosted.

"Lori and her crew talk in riddles. I don't take anything any of them say at face value. But Meena and Dhruv disappeared before her last gambit. She wouldn't have gone into that night knowing she was going to fall, right?" He bit his lip, rolling his eyes. "Meena and I are dating. I'm not keeping it a secret, but we're also not buying a billboard or anything. In any case, I'm a leader. Not the Alpha. Still a leader. If I panic, other wolves panic. My job is to keep composure." He closed his eyes. "And I am tearing the town apart. The town. The woods. But we've already had so much destruction. I'm not going to make it worse barging into every crevice. No, there needs to be a method here." He nodded. "Right. This way's faster."

[crossdressingdeath]

(1st aroace) hello again! this blog continues to fill me with joy. i've noticed that way too many people make shipping posts w/ jc's list of requirements in a partner which really,,, doesn't sit right w me. like that list is unrealistic and it should be called out as such; jc wants a wife that will never surpass him in anything and would never inconvenience him in any way, and that shit's not right.

I’m very much of the opinion that JC’s requirements list specifically exists to show how shallow and competitive he is. He wants a supermodel who’ll run the house, always do as he says, and never surpass him. There isn’t a single character who fits even two of those requirements. To run through the most common ships... LXC won’t do as he says unless he agrees with it and has already surpassed him, and you do not want him running your house, we love him but this man is terrible at chores. NHS won’t do as he says and won’t run the house and probably isn’t supermodel material (sorry babe), also he’s infinitely smarter which counts as surpassing JC. WN would probably rather die again than obey JC, is too shy and clumsy (with his Undead Hands) to run the house, has already surpassed him (with his Undead Strength) and again isn’t a supermodel (with his Undead Everything, sorry WN I love you but the corpse-y-ness is a definite point against you in the supermodel category). WQ never does what anyone says unless she agrees with it or her family are being held hostage and has already surpassed him with her medical knowledge and skill, and frankly would refuse to run JC’s house due to it being JC’s, so that’s a generous one and a half, she is a supermodel and I will Fight You (donghua WQ... why is she not real...). WWX won’t run the house, clearly won’t do as he says, and surpassed him when he arrived at Lotus Pier age nine. LWJ probably has the same household running problems as LXC, would rip JC’s head off with his bare hands before obeying him, and again surpassed him a long time ago. NMJ again already surpassed him and Does Not Take Orders Well, also probably doesn’t know how to run a household, whether he counts as a supermodel depends on what you think of supermodels.

So that’s... Hm, LXC and WQ tied for first with a generous one and a half points (probably closer to one but I’ll round up), NMJ in second with maybe a one, with everyone else at a high zero. No one fits this list! It is insanely unrealistic, that’s why everyone who knows about it mocks him for it in-universe! It’s literally just a demonstration of how he’s painfully shallow and terrified of being second best! And also why he’s destined to die alone because his takeaway is that no woman is good enough for him and not that he needs realistic standards!

[darkfalcon-z]

in principle the assumption he should have made allies is not wrong and I used to think it was his moral failing, because he's ultimately doomed because he's alone. But him not doing that has nothing to do with hero complex, he doesn't have one. Instead his perception that he has to act alone is derived from his knowledge and life experience. In his experience people are either powerless or unwilling to do the right thing. He's generally right.

Generally the first person he should go for help is JC and he's not trusting JC and rightly so. If he went to JC for help with the Wens, JC would just try to stop him. And no JC would not be persuaded bu reasonable moral arguments, he does not care about justice. So unless WWX was willing to coerce, undermine or manipulate JC it wasn't an option.

And WWX can't go for help to JYL because a) she has very little power, b) he would makes her choose sides.

Who else is there really for him to go for help to?

Yeah, the reader know that if he went to LWJ, LWJ would help and potentially got LXC to help as well, but there is no way for WWX to know that. He doesn't know LWJ loves him and would like to be his friend.

It would be different if WWX was willing to make use of other people, coerce and manipulate them to achieve noble goals but that's not the same as acting together with others, he'd still be alone, but he's be using other people as tools.

He doesn't really have the problem with accepting help when it's needed. He accepted WN's and later WQ's help after the Lotus Pier Massacre easily enough. He didn't rush to get JC from WC himself after encountering WN. He didn't even go with WN, instead he waited till WN brought JC back to him. He knows he has limitations. He was just in a situation when disclosing information to others about himself could have been potentially fatal and when he had to act in a certain way to decrease other people finding out his secrets.

Thinking he had to do everything alone is not a good attitude to have but in WWX case it as a) necessary as survival strategy, b) justified by prior experiences, and c) contextual and pragmatic rather than a an enduring attitude - he makes adjustments easily once he realises there is someone potentially willing and able to help him.

I'm so tired of takes that say Wei Wuxian was absolutely perfect in every way in his first life because yes he was good and so very very good and had the best intentions and saved the others not just because he wanted to but because that was what was good and right.

That was never his fatal flaw though his hubris was that he convinced himself he had to do it all ALONE. That instead of talking to the people who cared about him and working with them, he thought he had to do it alone because he does have a hero complex in that he thinks everything will be fine as long as he's the only one getting hurt. That, combined with the other political machinations, is what led to his downfall. Not his arrogance or his actions, but that he refused to share any of the burden with others.

It's why he and JGY are such excellent foils for each other because as WWX pre resurrection became more and more isolated we saw jgy's social connection and standing get stronger. Then, after the resurrection we see that jgy is almost on his own whole wwx gets the support he needed and actually takes it this time.

Because in his second life he survived because he followed lwj, because he let him help him. They turned the tide of the second siege at burial mounds because the juniors amd the wen remnants helped them, because lwj was there. They took down jgy why because nhs got involved and had witnesses. And guanyin temple succeeded because they all were there not because wwx is a God who never makes mistakes

In his second life he learned he can rely on others and let them help him. That he doesn't have to be alone. That's his character development and without it he'd have never survived

Wei WuXian suddenly murmured, '… Lan Zhan.'

He reached out and grabbed one of Lan WangJi’s sleeves. Lan WangJi had always been beside him. He immediately bent down and whispered, 'I am here.

-

A voice inside of him said, If he catches me, I'll...

He wasn't scared of falling. All these years, he'd fallen many times. If someone was finally there to catch him, it'd be more than wonderful. Hearing Wei WuXian thank him, Lan WangJi's body seemed to freeze for a second. The hand that was about to be laid on Wei WuXian's back paused before it returned. After a moment of silence, Lan WangJi responded, "You are welcome."

Don't take the lessons he learned away from him. Don't make him have to be alone again

[chickie-empress-kie]

I know this has gone cold for what like......A month? Two? Forgive my snail's pace brain haha.

For context that was a crack tag I wrote at 3am, not that I don't love him for all intents and purposes. But now you've got me thinking real hard.

Now I haven't written any jc x oc fanfic *shoves zhenya in locker*........or any that I plan to publish anyway. But from an analytical perspective, I agree with this sooooo much.

Post-WWX's death, Jiang Cheng was a disaster. Even through his hatred, part of him was aware there was no one else there who would remember the Jiangs like he did. Everyone that could possibly remember them were gone, leaving him to carry the weight of what they once were. The good, the bad and everything else in between were his to bear alone. He didn't have a choice except holding onto the pain it brought.

His anger at wwx was partially because of his hatred and partially because he wasn't ready to face what laid behind that anger. The anger somewhat protected him from having to feel the pain. Not just to keep them alive, but to keep himself going. He used wwx as something to tunnel his fury at, so he didn't have to think of what he'd lost.

It was easier to blame than to sit down and think about it, especially with his emotional maturity. He'd rather chop his arm off. (THANKS FOR THAT, JFM)

WWX returning brought him some solace, that he doesn't have to carry them alone, that he has someone he could reminisce with (Even if the likelihood of it is bleak, SOMEONE existed at the very least). But it also brought him more baggage to bear, adding onto the weight that he held up with brute force and the power of anger.

When he lost the main subject of his fury, like the rug being pulled out from under his feet, it made him stumble. A major reason for his anger turned out to be a lie, and though he's still angry, the anger is accompanied by guilt and self-blame. Now it eats away at his strength to hold the burden on his shoulders.

Which was why it was good that the burden wasn't his to bear alone now, or he would, quite literally, be crushed flat by it. The wounds he kept open were slowly healing.

I hardly think he would really be able to move on and have a wife prior to WWX's return. Post-canon him is definitely easier to help.

With his coping mechanisms, he'd have to be handled like a hot potato and a newborn at the same time. Because the negativity he festered in for years quite literally welded into his skin, growing infected. Taking them off is tantamount to ripping off the scab from the wounds healing after so long. But its required, or the infection would spread until it completely consumed him because he no longer had pure rage to function on.

For a wife, she'd have to be someone who wouldn't tire of or be daunted by having to take the emotional baggage off one by one, toeing the thin line that could either heal him or send him spiraling. Not to fix him, just to help him lay it down and perhaps one day be able to function without having to second-guess himself for everything he did.

I'm no way nearly as patient as I should be to deal with that. But my point was, I want to try. I don't wanna fix him. I'll love him for being a mess. But he doesn't have to be alone in bearing the pain. Almost the entirety of the road he walked alone, but I'd want him to know that he didn't have to do it that way anymore. The burden was his, but he'd have someone wipe the sweat from his eyes.

That's also part of the reason why I like the drama's subtle implication of Wen Qing being suitable for him, because she's a character who walks on the same wavelength.

She's a lot like him, both having lost everything and constantly shouldering other's expectations and criticism. In a sense, they mirror each other as people with similar experiences and psychological influences, but grew to have wildly different temperaments because of circumstances.

She still had people who could remember with her and share the burden, unlike Jiang Cheng who was completely alone in a burning pit of tragedy. She grew up a survivor with the roughness callousing her till she became used to it, he grew up a survivor with the roughness digging into the same wounds after having it heal a bit.

But she knows what it's like. She could connect to that feeling of loss and coming to a dead end, and that understanding would help her know where to begin, and how she could do reduce the sting as much as she could.

(Tl;Dr He needs to marry a fucking therapist. Just let me get meself a master's degree and we'll be good to go.)

I might reboot the old fic now that I've done so much in depth thinking into what kinda wife he could have lmao =_= But that's left for posterity.

jiang cheng is a funny character because i fully support either liking him or not liking him, but i see so many takes (especially when he shows up in a supporting role in fic) that seem completely unhinged until i pin down which of what i consider the fundamental facts of his character are just not being applied at all.

it’s like:

1) this is not a mentally well guy, especially after Plot starts happening, and he spends the entire story getting less okay. the only time we ever see any improvement happen in jiang cheng is when wei wuxian piths himself getting the guy out of his suicidal phase, causing many more problems going forward but fixing that one. jiang cheng is not okay and it’s all downhill.

2) he cares so fucking much. like you can write a jiang cheng who is a deeply selfish bastard and you have an excellent textual basis, but it’s not because he doesn’t care about other people, at least the ones that are his; that’s a different kind of problem than the one he has.

he would in fact be less of a problem a lot of the time if he cared less, because he does not have the emotional management tools to be useful about it. also the narrative is conspiring against him but like.

(there are a lot of ways to be selfish and jiang cheng and lan wangji are actually remarkably similar in the basic type of selfish impulses they have. they just have very different childhoods and values shaping how they act about it. and then lan wangji manages to become a mostly functional adult, while jiang cheng is generously an electrified pile of bad coping mechanisms. he’s functioning! but like. at what cost.)

3) jiang cheng is dutiful. even the most selfish jiang cheng is someone who perceives and values himself in terms of his function and obligation; he and wei wuxian have different personalities and worldviews, and for that matter expectations placed on them, but they both learned that lesson, presumably together.

4) sort of an extension of 1 and to a lesser extent 2, Jiang Cheng is emotionally insecure as a base state. his parents made some major errors, at least half of which should have been avoidable except they would have had to deal with their own shit first.

it’s not out of the question, in a different lifetime where he didn’t get several years of compounded irresolvable traumas as his coming-of-age present and then left alone to stew in pain and denial for over a decade, for him to have learned to handle it better and even mostly get over it! that could have happened! it just didn’t.

to an extent he’s insecure about different things as a grown man than he was as a boy, life experience makes a difference. he’s built confidence about some things and become absolutely shattered about others. but he’s a person who is easy to wound, in all kinds of complicated identity-related ways, especially by Wei Wuxian specifically, and his kneejerk response to that is to lash out in reply, whether the wounding was intentional or not.

the fact that Wei Wuxian spent most of their lives giving every evidence of being completely immune to being harmed by this reaction masked its toxicity until things got real ugly real fast.

jiang cheng absolutely has the capacity to not do this! it’s a deeply rooted bad habit, not actually a fundamental of his character. but it requires self-awareness, will, and (if he’s going to keep it up) a lot of practice. it’s not the kind of thing that just goes away on its own, even with a bunch of alterations in context.

i don’t have like a closing argument here i just keep finding that takes on jiang cheng that don’t work for me, whether generous or condemnatory, always seem to disagree with me on one of these main points.