#and she and ozai had a fairly healthy relationship

[swan2swan]

*forcibly breaking the Avatar comics into tiny, usable pieces and taking what I can to reconfigure them into something resembling a setup for this comic because it seems like it will be fun*

[balanceoflightanddark]

how would zucest be better than how the comics handled zuko and azula? genuine question

Well, I think Zucest would solve several of the problems both Azula and Zuko had with one another in canon. Mainly seeing one another as equals and having a fairly healthy relationship. Also since the rivalry is toxic for both.

Zuko in particular since...

...I refuse to let him live that down. Ever.

Yeah Zuko was a total ass towards Azula in the comics, often for no reason other than pursuing his grudge. Which in my opinion turned him into effectively Ozai 2.0.

That in turn makes Azula's wish to turn him into a better Fire Lord on Smoke and Shadows...problematic. Since if she's doing it for him, that means she's crawling back to her now abusive brother.

Plus it wouldn't solve anything for her since obediently serving a master like she would be doing for Zuko in the comics is just like how she served Ozai in the series. And look how well THAT turned out. The way the comics are going with her relationship with Zuko wouldn't solve anything.

So, yeah. The comics try to paint Zuko as the Abel to Azula's Cain, but it doesn't work since Zuko becomes an asshole while Azula becomes a servant without a will again.

Zucest on the other would treat both of them as equals and possibly strive to fix their relationship instead of one putting all the responsibility of fixing it on the other.

[avatar-state-kate]

Mako and Bolin: Parentification and codependency in identity formation

Most character analysis are of, well, one character. Now usually this is a fine way to look at a character, however as characters (and people) often replicate their family dynamics when interacting with others sometimes it makes more sense to study characters together. For example the narcissistic parenting style of Ozai makes any analysis of Zuko in large part also an analysis of Ozai and Azula as their roles as the scape goat, narcissist parent, and golden child respectively influences their personalities within the family unit and outside of it.

All that being said given the nature of Mako and Bolin’s childhood’s I believe that any complete personality analysis of one brother is dependent on the other.

A quick disclaimer, due to the nature of Mako and Bolin’s childhoods a lot of the traits discussed will be maladaptive or at the very least also explored in their most negative expression- that being said I am not blaming any brother for the effects they had on the other. Ultimately these coping mechanisms and bad traits are the result of situations completely out of either brothers control; the death of their parents and living in acute poverty. Also because that’s how they are/ were in early seasons does not mean they can not/do not develop past it. With that out of the way, let’s get into it.

Yin and yang: fulfilling opposing roles

Within family dynamics every member fulfills a role, while Mako and Bolin are brothers their childhood situation resulted in a parentified child/younger sibling dynamic.

Firstly we all know Mako is a provider/caregiver, he took on the responsibility of making sure himself and Bolin were fed, clothed, and sheltered. As a result Mako is a compulsive caregiver, he cannot not be the caregiver within a relationship. While caring for others is a positive trait, compulsive caregiving is maladaptive, for Mako we often see this manifests in his providing unsolicited advice/help. In season 2 Mako’s attempts at helpfulness are a large contributor to the fights he and Korra have. We also see this in Mako’s need for control, as evidenced in the season 4 rescue of Prince Wu, even though he isn’t being helpful at all Mako cannot not try and direct the rescue. Even though he knows Korra and Asami are completely capable, it’s his job to be in charge and fix things- to be the adult.

On the reverse, Bolin as the younger sibling and object of Mako’s compulsive caregiving has a dependent personality type. Here I believe how dangerous providing Bolin with too much autonomy would have been on the streets paired with Mako’s compulsive caregiving/need for control, resulted in Bolin being unable to form a healthy degree of autonomy. As a result Bolin seeks direction and guidance from others. We can see this in his attraction to controlling personalities, from Mako, to Eska and Varrick in season 2, and Kuvira in season 4. As a result of being managed by Mako, Bolin hasn’t developed any decision making skills, as shown in his general indecisiveness. Bolin doesn’t make decisions so much as attach himself to people who will make decisions for him (see above list).

Mako is introduced into the series as having an avoidant attachment style, he is mistrustful of others and believes he can only rely on himself. This is evidenced in season 1 episode 2 with his immediate distrust of Korra and general standoffishness with her which does not end until she proves herself with Bolin’s rescue. It’s clear that Mako formed this attachment style as a direct result of his childhood- he mistrusts others and relies on himself because on the streets he had to. However, I believe Bolin’s anxious attachment style, which he is often seen as having despite his childhood is just as much directly connected to his childhood. Anxious attachment styles are defined by a fear of losing people and being left alone, a legitimate fear given the death of his parents at a young age- if Mako were to leave Bolin would be alone. For Bolin this largely manifests in his clinginess, he hugs or otherwise touches everyone, and in his constant upbeat attitude. Being upbeat itself is not necessarily part of an anxious attachment style, but for Bolin I believe it is indicative of a need to make others like him, as evidenced by Bolin’s friendliness with Ming-Hua and Ghazan when he and Mako are captured by the Red Lotus. As with Mako’s personality development, Bolin’s is also a survivalist method, as being likeable is a good means of attaining help from others, in Republic City Hustle it is largely Bolin’s likability that inspires Toza to take the brothers in. Bolin’s need to maintain a positive attitude also serves another purpose, as it was the only means Bolin had of providing Mako with emotional support. Due to Mako’s caregiving role and attachment style Mako would not burden Bolin with his problems- his and Bolin’s problems are his responsibility, however Bolin could indirectly support his brother by being easy going and fun. This dynamic is especially apparent again in the Republic City Hustle shorts where Mako is depicted as a fairly stressed and serious kid, with Bolin’s attitude providing him brevity. Finally, Mako’s belief that he has to take on everything himself, and his subsequent taking on everything himself enables Bolin to develop an opposing belief that things will work out in the end. This is seen in Mako’s pessimistic outlook of the need to raise 30,000 yuans for the champion pot in season 1, and Bolin’s optimism that they will raise it. Bolin is naive, but it is a naivety Mako enables.

Throughout the series Mako’s caregiver tendencies often manifest in a need to provide materially, as his main interest in pro-bending is as a source of income, and post season 1 Mako has and maintains a steady job. This is the opposite of Bolin, who’s interest in pro-bending is in the sport itself, and who jumps through a series of careers, from athlete, to Asami’s assistant, to actor, to soldier. We see that Mako has a desire for stability, and this makes sense given how unstable his childhood was. It then seems odd that Bolin, being a part of that childhood would not similarly seek such stability out. Bolin appears to have an inability to be stable. While the material aspect of their childhood plays a role I think this difference is rooted in the emotional stability of their early lives.

Mako is looking to his work to provide emotional stability, when Mako is having issues within his personal relationships he turns to work- picking work over Korra in season 2 and sleeping under his desk at the start of season 3. Bolin however, does not have similar issues with his emotions as he had Mako as a child and is as a result much more emotionally open. Since Bolin does not need an outside structure for emotional management I think instead Bolin is stuck recreating the instability of his childhood into his adult life- he does not know how to be stable so he instead maintains an unstable lifestyle. His stability as a child came from his relationship with Mako so as long as they remain on good terms I believe Bolin will feel secure.

Cast in the same mould: the effects of codependency

While a lot of the brothers personalities developed in response to that of the others the codependent nature of their relationship also resulted in some shared traits, namely conflict avoidance and people pleasing tendencies.

For Mako we mostly see these traits in his relationships with Asami and Korra, as he avoids Asami rather then break up with her in season 1, and in season 2 starts giving the advice he thinks Korra wants to hear as a means to avoid conflict, and the whole amnesia debacle. We also see Mako’s people pleasing tendencies in his inability to say no to Bolin, as Bolin is easily able to convince Mako to join the Krew in the search for air benders and have him act as the escaped fire bender.

Rather then directly running from conflict Bolin’s conflict avoidance manifest in his attempting to neutralize the situation either by playing dumb as a means not to answer, as when Asami asks him if there is something between Korra and Mako in season 1, or by trying to steer the conversation back to a more lighthearted tone. We see the tone switching play out throughout the series particularly with potential arguments between Mako and Bolin, when Mako starts getting heated Bolin neutralizes- and then Mako usually lets Bolin get his way. For example in Republic City Hustle with the argument over Pabu, and post Mako’s rescue of Bolin. Bolin’s people pleasing tendencies also make it difficult for him to initiate break ups as he fails to end things with Eska twice.

Ultimately these are both traits of being in codependent relationships and given Mako and Bolin’s childhoods where they literally only had each other, it is hardly surprising that the pair would form such a bond- and the consequences there of.

Conclusion

In conclusion Mako and Bolin have largely shaped each other’s personalities as a consequence of the familial roles either brother filled.

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the brothers both experience the greatest growth in season 4, the season they spend apart. This is not to say that the brothers need to cut ties in order to heal, however I do believe that while together it is all too easy for both of them to revert to previously established behaviour’s; to fulfill their roles of parentified brother/younger sibling. This is evidenced in Turf Wars where we see each brother take a step back, as Bolin joins the force to be under Makos wing, and Mako is back to work despite still being in a sling and unable to bend.

Steps backward are normal, and throughout the series either brother starts a journey towards becoming an individually realized person.

I wrote this post as given the codependent nature of Mako and Bolin’s relationship I believed that a meta exploring the two together was necessary, however at the end of this meta as at the end of the series I believe that the brothers leave it as two individuals rather then one single unit.

[fancyfade]

Okay so more search thoughts that are my own and not just... that articles (though that article was good)

@fallenagain was right, I did find it a fairly satisfying conclusion. I all of the sibling parallels. there were a) Misu and Rafa, the siblings from the northern water tribe. Misu had dedicated her life to helping Rafa get back his face after Koh the face stealer stole it. b) Katara and Sokka who we know from the show and c) zuko and azula, who we also know from the show. they contrasted misu and rafa and katara and sokka’s healthy relationships with zuko and azula’s incredibly unhealthy relationship. We also got to see that despite all of their problems, Zuko does want him and Azula to have a better relationship, he wants them to be able to be a normal brother and sister.

it was... unclear how Azula feels about Zuko. She continuously says that even when he’s strong, he’s weak. I can’t remember all of the prompts, but I think one of them was about him believing his mother’s letter that got confiscated by Ozai and seriously debating stepping down from being fire lord. I think the idea that he would let power go after having it makes Azula think he’s weak. I’m sure their family was raised never to relinquish power after having obtained it.

throughout the whole thing, azula is being tormented by... hallucinations? I think? of her mother. azula thinks that ursa got to her friends/minions and made them lose their fear of her, acknowledging that people mostly follow her out of fear (I mean, we saw that in the show too, just being re-emphasized here). i’m pretty sure that she has no idea how to form a relationship not based on fear.

Right besides that, we learned Ursa has amnesia (intentionally, given to her along with a new face by the Mother of Faces) and now goes by Noriko. As article I just linked mentions, a lot of people evidently blamed her for this and thought she was a terrible person.

which... TBH I don’t. I mean, we saw that her relationship with Ozai was based on fear. She was happy in Hira’a, she got a part in a play she really wanted*, she was gonna get married. Then Ozai shows up and says she has to marry him and nearly kills her boyfriend and forbids her from contacting her parents or anyone in her home town after she’s married. when she finally leaves (after giving Ozai the poison to kill Azulon so that Ozai doesn’t kill Zuko), Ozai forbids her from taking the kids and says that they’re his collateral (also important: He said the children, not just Zuko). like i know it’s sad she can’t remember her kids, but i can’t blame her for wanting to forget ~10 years of an abusive marriage where she was a prisoner in her own house. It’s not as if she had the resources to free zuko and azula, even if she remembered them.

anyway

eventually Ursa as Noriko apologizes to Azula (while Azula is trying to kill her) for not loving her enough. and when she gets her memories and her old face back, she gives the same apology to Zuko.

[image: in Noriko and Noren's house, Azula has Ursa as Noriko pinned to a wall. Azula's holding blue fire up and saying "It all ends right now!" Noriko says "I don't know... what you're... talking about...." We zoom in on Azula's face, her irises are small and there are lines under her eyes, she looks tired and angry. She says "Oh really, mother?! So I've imagined all this? you haven't been trying to take me down from the moment I was born?!"

In the background, Zuko says "Azula, let her go!" Azula doesn't bother looking at him, she's still staring at her mother, and says "Stay back, Zuzu! I'm warning you!" Noriko reaches to touch Azula’s face and says “If what you say is true... if I really am your mother... then I’m sorry I didn’t love you enough.” Tears form in the corners of Azula’s eyes. end image]

Azula confronts her amnesiac mother ^

IDK over all it felt very good and relatable. 3 people all dealing with the fallout of their incredibly shitty family.

*Mini aside i have no clue where to put: the part was I think the Dragon Empress in Love Amongst the Dragons, which in the ember island players episode, Zuko mentions as being the play his family saw being butchered every summer in ember island. so i bet that had some very bittersweet or painful memories for her when she was watching it.

[emletish-fish]

The worst prisoner rambly notes: under the city

COD is going to go down very differently. One thing that will stay the same is the key-role the familiar dynamics between Zuko/Azula and Iroh affect how the whole thing plays out.

I have some rambly thoughts about the fIre-nation royal family dynamics.

Wow, they are a hot mess of layered drama and dysfunction…like an abusive lasagne. But this messed-up family gives us Zuko and Azula, and they are so fascinating. Nothing is simple between these two. I loved the recent Ehasz tweets about the possibility for Azula's redemption, and I have always had my own ideas about how Zuko and Azula could salvage their relationship. It was nice to get a sense of vindication, because I don't think Azula is a lost cause.

Watching the confrontation between Zuko and Ozai, I was struck by the sheer surprise Zuko expresses when Ozai says his mother is alive. What did he think before? Out of loyalty to his mother, Zuko wouldn't have believed (in his heart) whatever story Ozai concocted*. Zuko knew his mother wouldn't abandon them, and his dad's story didn't make much sense.

*low-key: for real, what did Ozai tell people? The whole situation stinks to high heaven. His father mysteriously changes his will, without consulting or informing anyone, and then just as mysteriously dies suddenly and unexpectedly (longevity being a family trait), and his wife disappears all in the same night. Like, for goodness sake, you don't need a special investigation to see something shifty as all hell happened.

Does Ozai say 'my wife mysteriously ran away, abandoning me and her children and her royal duties, and that's all there is. Nothing to see here folks.' Does he just 'trump' his way through all the naysayers and yell his version of events as loud as possible and hope the power of the throne will prevent people from questioning him further? Like seriously. Does the entire Fire Nation also think he murdered his wife? Low-key, I think they do, but they let wife-murder slide, because he's the fire-lord now and you can't accuse the fire-lord of murder – not unless you are planning a full-scale coup and a very confident you will win.

Ironic eh? It's the one terrible thing Ozai didn't do, and everyone assumes he's guilty.

Anyway, Zuko never bought, not entirely, the whole she-didn't-love-you-and-abandoned-you story his dad was spinning. But I think it would take him a long time to process and come to terms with the most likely outcome. I think he couldn't deny it any longer after he had his epiphany about the Fire Nation and what Ozai was really like, (leading up to his epic "fuck you, dad"). Zuko just had that epiphany earlier in my story than in canon. So Zuko thinks his mother is dead and Ozai killed her. That's why the "yo mama's alive" bombshell floors him so much.

Azula, on the other hand, has a very vested interest in believing her dad.

Azula seems to actively resent Zuko underneath all the contempt. I wondered what might prompt this, considering she so often has the upper hand and is in a position of power over him. I think it was more than just a general feeling that their mother loved Zuko more, (though that certainly is a factor). So I wrote that she believed for a long time that Ursa was alive and Zuko knew where she was. It was easier for Azula to think her mother was alive and feel angry at her brother for withholding, than contemplate the possibility that her actions in assisting her father had led directly to her mother's death.

The biggest difference between my story and canon is that Zuko has experienced much more healthy friendships and relationships at this point. He knows what it is like to feel safe and be loved by people other than Iroh. He reciprocates this feeling in spades. (He's inclined towards loyalty, which is why feeling that he betrayed his Uncle cuts him so deep.) He was torn between his Uncle and the Gaang earlier in the chapter, but it's crossroads/choice time.

He's also seen, first hand, a really healthy brother/sister dynamic. Katara and Sokka have one of the best sibling relationships in tv. Love those two. However, we all consider what we grew up with to be "normal". Zuko is very usedto Azula. He would have normalised a lot of her behaviour and thought 'so this is just what family is like'. You bet every time Sokka and Katara had a squabble and Katara muttered something like "you put your socks in my clean pile one more time and I will kill you," Zuko would have thought ah, it's not just Azula who says shit like that.

This kind of thing is completely normal for Zuko:

However, Katara is here to clear up that little misconception. Katara, coming from a fairly well-adjusted family, is rightly horrified when she hears about the shenanigans that went on in the palace during Zuko's childhood. My two drama llamas aren't going to agree on everything. Azula's gremlin status is one area where they disagree. But at least they can talk openly about their disagreement and hear each other out.

Next chapter with be the battle under Ba Sing Se, til then my lovelies.

[thedreadpirateblogger]

Similarities and the crucial difference  (aka Hakoda appreciation post)

I know the parallels between the fire family and the water family have been pointed out a dozen times, but I wanted to dive into the core reason they turned out so different

The family dynamics are:

- mother lost when the kids are young - father in a high-pressure position of power - first born son tries to pretend he’s older than he is to make his father proud and prove himself as a man in a culture with priorities influenced by wartime, without much success (at first. He gains the respect and leadership capabilities he craves only after being forcibly humbled and learning from people he once thought beneath him) - second born daughter is only a year younger and extremely gifted; her greater ability and natural confidence often overshadow her less charismatic older brother

Both families are shaped by these traits in drastically different ways 

When left behind, Sokka and Katara often take the frustration of feeling overwhelmed, abandoned, and powerless out on each other with bickering. Sokka dismisses Katara’s abilities out of (somewhat misogynistic) pride, avoiding acknowledging another way his little sister is ahead of him. Katara responds to his patronizing behavior by letting loose a bit of the rage that’s been simmering since their mother died. Arguments frequently feature “what dad would want,” each trying vainly to assert authority over a peer because there’s no parent left to turn to for guidance. But in this case, “what would dad want” means things like protect your sister and look out for other tribe members. They never really hurt each other and remain attached at the hip the whole series. While still children with too much responsibility and not enough care, Hakoda’s healthy priorities at least point them in the right direction. 

I have a whole post on how Ozai fucked up Zuko and Azula [x], so I won’t go into that, but it’s fairly obvious 95% of their personal and relationship issues come from him. They fight not just to hurt, but to kill. The family traits they were born into are similar to Sokka and Katara’s, yet where the water sibs would talk it out and hug, the royals shoot fireballs.

Because Hakoda is a good dad

Not just generically good because TV parents are either villains or vanilla, but actually good. To me, the best example is this scene:

As one of the few adults left to defend a tribe driven to the edge of extinction, the decision to leave is justified. But he lets Katara vent feeling lost and abandoned because reminding her why he left isn’t going to help. She already knows. It’s not what she needs. He listens because she’s a child who had to grow up and fend for herself and it’s not fair. It’s not Hakoda’s fault, but his daughter has several years worth of fear and anger to unleash, so he lets her yell until she cries and then yell while she’s crying. He doesn’t make excuses. He doesn’t let his ego be offended by the blame. He affirms she’s right, it isn’t fair. That he hates it too, that it hurts, and that he loves her.

It would be easy to respond to Katara’s accusation defensively. “It’s not about you,” or “You’re a child, you don’t understand my duty,” are more what I expected first watching the series (military dads aren’t exactly known for feeling their feelings). He demonstrates how to be the adult in a situation that is painful for him too, by accepting his children’s emotions and being honest about his own. It’s such a good example of emotionally healthy parenting that contrasts every other parent we see. Obviously Ozai, but also Toph’s and Mai’s controlling parents who accepted only a small range of emotions and behaviors. Even Ursa, who is generally seen in a positive light, never sat Azula down to try to understand where her behavior was coming from and just scolded her until the girl thought her mother didn’t love her. 

It’s easy to show parents smiling and waving as their kids runs off to catch the school bus, but Hakoda is put in a situation where being a good parent is hard. Sokka and Katara didn’t have an easy childhood by any stretch of the imagination, having lost their mother (Katara found her body), living in fear of being wiped out by invaders. They turned out pretty well-adjusted anyway. Being a parents isn’t preventing your children from ever experiencing suffering because that’s just not possible. It’s putting your own ego aside to teach them how to cope with the bad when it comes. 

tldr: Hakoda should team up with Iroh to teach parenting classes in the ATLA world

[attackfish]

The Three Pillars theory of Azula

Azula is one of the most fascinating and complex villains in children’s media, or indeed in any media.  She is both abuser and victim, both deeply cruel and deeply afraid.  Often, discussion of her breaks into two camps, either she was born the way she is, or that she was abused, and she was made into the character we see onscreen by that abuse.  Either she is a “psychopath” (an outdated term that has been widely misunderstood and keeps shifting in meaning), and she was born the way she is, and she either wasn’t abused, or abuse didn’t affect her, or she was abused, and how she was raised made her into who she is.  I don’t think either of those positions are correct.  There is no code that says that predators don’t abuse other predators, and there is nothing in the world that makes abuse magically not damaging.  I have spent a great deal of time figuring out what makes this character tick, and what made her stop ticking at the end.  So how did nurture and nature come together to make Azula?  Bear with me, it’s a bit of a story.

When Azula was born, I think Ozai was a man who was already deeply warped.  I do not believe as some in fandom do that he gave up his family and love for power.  I believe he never loved them as we understand it to start with.  In his children, Ozai wasn’t looking for independent people, but for a mirror.  Their existence and accomplishments were there solely to reflect well on him and benefit him.  Before Azula was old enough to show “promise”, by which I mean a combination of cruelty and talent in areas that Ozai approved of, Ozai treated both his children like gold.  Zuko was after all his heir apparent.  We can see this in the comics, and also when Zuko says things like “back when [his] family was actually happy.”  This was not a time when Ozai’s relationship with his children was healthy, but it was a time before the cruelty he would exhibit later.  And this beginning, especially the positive attention Ozai gives Zuko, will have a profound impact on Azula.

Then, Azula’s talents and lack of empathy become apparent.  Ozai sees himself in her, and sees all those things he likes about himself in her, his own ruthlessness and willingness to use people, his own firebending talent, his own cunning and use of manipulation.  He nurtures this in her, and begins to give her the lion’s share of his positive attention.  When Zuko shows signs of empathy, and when he isn’t a firebending prodigy, Ozai, who only sees his children for the value they give him, sees this almost as a personal slight.  Zuko isn’t good enough for Ozai.  Worse, I think he projects his own feelings of inadequacy onto Zuko.  So Azula represents all that he sees as worthy about himself, and Zuko all he hates about himself.  So he adores (but does not love) Azula and despises Zuko.

In the back of Azula’s mind, she remembers a time it was different, when Zuko was a golden child too.  This means that Zuko becomes an object lesson.  It is possible to fall from grace.  Everything Ozai does to Zuko, every harsh word, every brush off, every burning and banishment, is thus also something Ozai has done to Azula, because she sees in it the price of failure.  This builds in her a deep deep well of anxiety. To deal with this, she hides it from herself.  She masks it with a conscious belief in her own perfection.  Almost isn’t good enough. Flaws and weakness are unacceptable.  They are for people like Zuko.   She needs to see herself as better than Zuko, intrinsically, because if she isn’t, she could suffer the same fate.  She needs to see herself as perfect because perfection keeps her safe.

In this construction of Azula and her world, Ursa treating both her children fairly would read as gross favoritism to her daughter.  Any love and attention Ursa gave to Zuko would be a sign that she favored Zuko over Azula, even if she gave Azula love and attention in equal measure.  And any disapproval Ursa expressed toward Azula’s actions would become a deep injustice, even if she disapproved of actions undertaken by Zuko as well.  By giving both her children love, support, and limits, she was treating her worthless child the same as she did her worthy child.  The human mind remembers slights and inconsistencies much more than it remembers fairness, so Azula, who has so much invested in thinking that Zuko is inferior to her and deserves his treatment at the hands of Ozai, would remember the times that Ursa was affectionate towards Zuko, while the times in which Ursa rebuked Zuko in some way, which after all is all he deserves in Azula’s view, would be invisible to her.  Meanwhile the same process happens in reverse.  Azula, who is perfect, flawless, above reproach, would remember every hint of disapproval from Ursa vividly, while Ursa’s love for her, as her due, would be ignored.  Worse, Azula had been taught by Ozai’s actions to view parental approval as a zero sum game, and if Ursa favors Zuko what must she think of Azula?  This process is almost certainly encouraged by Ozai.  When Azula said in “The Beach” that her own mother thought she was a monster, I heard two things, the first was the voice of a very perceptive little girl who picked up on the reasonable worry Ursa felt about her and her behavior, and the other as Ozai’s voice whispering to Azula, telling her that Ursa didn’t understand them.

Yet on another level, Azula is aware that her mother loves her.  We can see this most obviously in the finale, where Azula, in the throes of her breakdown hallucinates her mother gently reproaching her, and telling Azula she loves her, but we can also see it in a scene from “Zuko Alone” that I think communicates one of the saddest things about Azula’s story.  In this scene, Ursa is walking with Zuko on a covered walkway through the palace garden.  Azula is playing in the garden with Ty Lee while Mai glances at Zuko and blushes.  Azula decides she wants to tease Mai and Zuko for Mai’s crush, and to do that, she needs Zuko.  She tells Ty Lee to “watch this,” walks over to her mother and brother, and then plays the sweet child for her mother, in order to get her to make Zuko play with her.  This scene shows how young Azula began her deliberate manipulation, and how skilled and practiced she is at it already, but it I think tells us something else at least as important, because in this scene, Azula manipulates by playing on her mother’s love for her.  This is the last time we see her do this in the series.  After her mother leaves, this tool falls out of use until she forgets she ever had it.  Perhaps she continues to manipulate Zuko this way for a while, but three years later, he is banished as well.  For three years, there is absolutely no one that loves Azula, and she forgets to see herself as worthy of love.  My abuser/stalker manipulated through affection all of the time.  It’s part of what kept me holding on to that “friendship” as long as I did. People who lack affective empathy, who are raised with love understand it.  They don’t feel it, but they understand it, and they use it.  Azula doesn’t.  "Psychopath” or not, this is deeply, deeply tragic.

This subconscious understanding of her mother’s love doesn’t stop Azula’s cleaving to her father.  In fact I think it may have strengthened the drive for her to do so.  Since acknowledging her mother’s sincere love for her would mean acknowledging that someone could hold Zuko and herself in equal esteem, and the psychological costs of that acknowledgement were so high, she would have become even more committed to her father’s worldview.  And then Ursa leaves, and she leaves for Zuko, something Azula doubtless would have picked up on.  This confirms her belief that her mother loved her brother more, but it also takes away a potential source of affirmation and support for Azula outside of her father.  Her self-image rests on a very shaky foundation of two intertwined pillars: her father’s estimation of her value, and her own belief in her personal perfection.  On some level, Azula has to realize that this is an unstable situation, and so she seeks out other ways to prop up her self-image.  For a while, Zuko fills this role, but her attitude towards him is still too bound up in Ozai’s.  So she builds two relationships that are not so intermeshed with her father and their dynamic.  This is where Mai and Ty Lee enter the picture.

Azula uses her ability to control Mai and Ty Lee as a constant source of fuel for her self-image, but she doesn’t love them.  She doesn’t care about them, but she is psychologically dependent upon them.  She needs them. It never ceases to amaze and frustrate me just how many people mistake psychological dependence for love.  In this, Azula is like most abusers, who are dependent upon their victims in some way.  That’s why they abuse.  Most abusers also “love” their victims, at least as much as they feel attachment and affection for their victims, much as Ozai does for Azula.  If their victim tries to leave, they react with hurt and anger, a “How could you do this to me?” response.  This is not how Azula responds, however, and in this she is very different indeed from most abusers.  It is this difference that I think points to inborn lack of empathy.  In the series, this difference is shown in several places. The first is when she goes to collect Ty Lee.

At this point, Ty Lee has already tried to get away from Azula at least once, by running away to join the circus.  Azula approaches her and asks her to come.   When Ty Lee refuses, Azula doesn’t become angry, or hurt.  In fact she expects, and I would argue even desires this response.  She then tells Ty Lee that she will be attending the show that evening.  Ty Lee reacts with visible fear.  At the show that evening, Azula endangers not only Ty Lee, but also the entire audience, and circus people, meaning everyone in the life Ty Lee has tried to build apart from Azula.  And Azula doesn’t do it vengefully.  She is gleeful at the prospect of forcing Ty Lee to do something she doesn’t want to do.  Azula could have given Ty Lee an ultimatum to begin with, but it wouldn’t give her the same psychological payoff that hearing Ty Lee’s no and coercing her into changing it into a yes does.  This need for Azula to assert her control is demonstrated again when she goes to Omashu for Mai.  Mai’s reaction to Azula is different from Ty Lee’s.  Mai says yes.  This means that Azula doesn’t get the boost to her self-image from forcing her that she craves.  So she sets a situation where she will be able to force Mai to do something Azula knows she doesn’t want to.  Nothing will convince me that Azula had only just thought about the ramifications of setting King Bumi free.  So why did she set up a hostage exchange and then force Mai to call it off at the last minute?  The comics show that Mai loves her little brother, and the show itself shows just how deep Mai’s love runs.  This means that Mai calls the exchange off because she is more afraid of what Azula will do to her and her brother than she is of the rebels. Azula sets things up this way so that Mai will demonstrate just this fear, thereby affirming Azula’s domination of her and strengthening Azula’s image of herself as perfect and in control.

There is one last place in the series where this dynamic is made clear.  When Mai saves Zuko at the Boiling Rock, Azula doesn’t react with hurt, but with puzzlement.  She doesn’t say “how could you do this to me?” she says “why? You know the consequences.”  In fact, she is cool and collected until Mai tells her that she miscalculated.  Remember how I said that Azula’s self-image rested on the two pillars of Ozai’s value of her and her own belief in her infallibility?  Her control over Mai and Ty Lee constitute a third pillar that she has created as a backup.  Azula is able to withstand Mai breaking this control without a real emotional backlash, because all Mai did was make one pillar somewhat unsteady. There is no doubt in my mind that Azula intended at this point to punish Mai, and punish her brutally, but this punishment would have been to serve the utilitarian purpose of showing others what happens when you defy Azula, and not out of any emotional need.  Then Mai tells Azula that she miscalculated.  This is a direct assault on another pillar of Azula’s self-image, her psychological construction of herself as infallible.  Worse, Mai finishes her statement by telling Azula that she loves Zuko more than she fears her.  She ranks Azula beneath Zuko.  This compounds Azula’s sense of failure.  This is when Azula snaps. She becomes enraged, and turns it back on Mai.  "No you miscalculated,“ she insists, as she gets ready to assert a final, fatal level of control over Mai.  And this is when Ty Lee steps in.  She too breaks free of Azula’s control, and worse, she humiliates Azula by knocking her down.

After the Boiling Rock, Azula stops acting in her rational self-interest and shifts instead to reacting to fulfill her suddenly urgent emotional needs.  This change is shown clearly the next time we see her, attacking Zuko at the Western Air Temple.  I say Zuko, and not the Avatar, because Azula doesn’t seem to be interested in Aang or his other companions at all.  She tells Zuko she is there to celebrate becoming an only child, and attacks her brother almost exclusively, allowing Aang and the others to escape.  If Azula were not in a state of psychological crisis, her behavior here would be extremely difficult to explain.  Zuko’s behavior on the Day of Black Sun means that he has no chance at becoming their father’s heir, or in any way challenging Azula’s power within the Fire Nation.  The only way Zuko can interfere with Azula being the chosen heir and future Firelord is through the Avatar’s victory, which would be just as damaging for Azula, whether or not her brother is part of it.  She is best able to prevent that by attacking and killing Aang, as she was able to do once before.  So why does she go after Zuko?  To explain this, I would like to go back a little bit.

When Azula brings her brother home after the fall of Ba Sing Se, she lies to their father and tells him that Zuko brought down the Avatar.  This does a couple of things for her, like get her brother into the Fire Nation as a potential fall guy, and gives her some insurance that if he rises to high in their father’s eyes, she can knock him back down.  I imagine that after Zuko’s exile, Azula had all of Ozai’s attention to herself, and that on one level, this felt wonderful and thrilling, but that on another level, it was very difficult for her, because without Zuko around to soak up all of Ozai’s dissatisfaction, she had to be extra extraordinary in order to not have some of it directed at her.  Having Zuko around takes that pressure off, and the lie she told gives her something to hold over his head.  It is an adroit move on her part, but it is blackmail, and like all blackmail, it has a fatal flaw.  If the blackmailee reveals the information first, it is useless.  Worse, Azula has a lot to lose if Ozai learns of her deception.  Azula didn’t figure on Zuko telling Ozai the truth and then splitting to go teach the Avatar firebending, and who could blame her? The answer of course is Azula herself, and also Ozai.  Not only did Azula miscalculate, ooh, there’s that word again, with regards to what her brother would do, and on some level, she may even see this as him outsmarting her, but Ozai now knows she lied to him.  Since Zuko left, things have probably been very uncomfortable for Azula.  To put this in the terms I have been using so far, two of her pillars, her idea of herself as perfect, and her father’s esteem, are both shaky when she goes to the Boiling Rock.  If not for those already shaky pillars, she would have been able to cope much better with the psychological stress of Mai and Ty Lee breaking free of her.  Instead, she is left with only one shaky pillar, Ozai’s favor, on which to base her self-image.

This is the state Azula is in when she fights her brother at the Western Air Temple.  She is fighting to reestablish equilibrium and buttress her dangerously unsteady self-image.  She seeks a confrontation with Zuko who she sees as having “beaten” her twice, once by doing the unexpected and telling Ozai the truth on the Day of Black Sun, and once by being higher in Mai’s estimation than Azula.  She does this so that she can defeat him in an arena she has always beaten him in before, combat, and reestablish her superiority.  However, because Azula is not able to be her usual calculating self, the attack on the Western Air Temple becomes a fiasco.  She and her brother fight each other to a tie, the Avatar and his companions, including her brother, escape, and she survives by the skin of her teeth.

When her father snubs her, when he “treat[s her] like Zuko” he knocks away her last pillar of support, and sends her spiraling down, down, down into that pit of anxiety and fear he built within her as a child.

I believe that after her father triggers her final breakdown, Azula has an extended period of brief reactive psychosis, a form of stress induced psychosis caused by her inability to otherwise cope with the repeated assaults to her psyche, as opposed to the development of a neurological or biochemically derived problem such as schizophrenia.  This would account for the timing.  It also fits in well with the overall picture Of Azula canon has presented us with.  That picture in my view is of a girl born with certain tendencies, whose father nurtured and directed those tendencies while giving her a profound fear of failure.  It is of a character, who like real people is the product not of nurture or nature separately, but of nurture and nature, of her environment, how she was born to react to that environment, and in turn how that environment reacted to her.

None of these emotionally charged interactions do I see any trace of love on Azula’s part, not even the selfish, corrosive love of most abusers.  In this fandom, I often run across the argument that Azula’s breakdown was proof of her love for Mai and Ty Lee, even if she was really bad at showing it.  As I described above, this is not true.  People don’t fall apart the way Azula did because somebody they love leaves them, they fall apart because someone or something that they relied on to fulfill a deep psychological need for them is now unavailable to do so.  Love, and this kind of psychological dependence often go hand in hand, but they also each frequently occur separately, which is what I see In Azula’s interactions with Mai, Ty Lee, Zuko and Ozai.  I mentioned above that people without affective empathy who grow up with love understand love and how to manipulate it even if they don’t feel it themselves.  The flip side of this is that people who are born with the innate capacity for affective empathy, who grow up without love, feel love but they don’t understand it.  This love often expresses itself in destructive and damaging ways, but it is there.  Azula shows no signs of this.  She is both unloved and unloving.

This essay was originally posted as commentary on a reblog here: [Link]  I have edited it for stand alone posting.