#and she aint even a year old yet

[cryptid-killjoy]

[wysteriadelights]

My bed is literally RIGH THERE. it has enough room for BOTH... these fuckers act like I abuse them

[xhopelesslyromanticx]

Delusional - Lando Norris x Fewtrell!Reader

Masterlist

summary: In which the internet once again is fooled by your slightly overdramatic side. Rumors about Lando dumping you circulate but luckily the Mclaren driver is just as delusional as you are. Social Media Au

y/nfewtrell

Home

liked by kellypiquet and 60‘797 others

y/nfewtrell in my feelings bruh

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maxfewtrell did you take my hoodie?

y/nstans what why????

user567 sense a breakupppp

f1islife stunning

arthur_leclerc *plays taylor swift

user345 arthur what do you know

y/nandlan Lando didn’t like?!

user567 see his post? he seems completely unbothered

user898 Landos too good for her anyw

f1gossip you sound bitter

user787 i just always had weird vibes from her

f1gossip we‘ve met y/n and she‘s literally an angel

y/nfewtrell thanks means a lot

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell and 567‘897 others

landonorris how I try to entertain

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user687 such a hottie

f1fans someone say unbothered cough

georgerussell63 I thought you were on a diet?

alex_albon he‘s abt 4ft tall he doesn’t need a diet

mclaren next week we back to veggies

f1lover wheres the missus

user789 y/n doesn’t attend most gps she goes to university

f1fans yeah but so do Alex and Kika yet they seem to be way more supportive

user789 I‘m sure shes supportive just maybe also focused on her on career?

y/nstans y/n not liking landos post has me scaredddd

maxfewtrell looking smug

landonorris thanks bestieeee

maxfewtrell

Paris

liked by landonorris and 123‘890 others

maxfewtrell took the little nugget to paris @y/nfewtrell

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user578 she‘s so cute

f1lover peeping the papaya phone case

norrisandme yes also Lando liked! they goood

y/nfrance we met her yesterday and she seemed fine

arthur_leclerc the nugget in the big city

y/nfewtrell miss you archer

f1gossip my fave friendship

user787 why is she already flirting with guys when the rumors aren’t comfirmed

maxfewtrell oh god if you think y/n can flirt you‘re in for suprises

y/nfewtrell thanks maxie :) loved the trip

team_quadrant let’s go to Brazil!!!!

f1gossip

liked by user676 and 12‘899 others

f1gossip You guys know we normally don’t cover anything realitionship releated but it looks like Lando and Y/n are going through some crisis. She appeared on a tiktok crying after a series of mysterious tweets and instagram posts. Neither her or Lando have yet confirmed the rumors. But she has been absent from his likes and vice versa.

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user676 she’s making it obvious

f1fans cloutchaser?

y/nstans shut up

landonorris @y/nfewtrell care to explain missy

y/nfewtrell no i dont care to, peace out

user676 omg they commented

norrislove they clearly are clowing y‘all

maxfewtrell the woman cries like twelfe times a day and people still wonder?

landonorris twelfe is a little much, ten maybe eleven

y/nfewtrell I have my reasons this time!

y/nfewtrell

Austin Texas

liked by charlottesine and 234‘890 others

y/nfewtrell my lanlan. I formally apologize for being a lot to handle sometimes. I do love you more than words could even get close to explain. Thanks for being the best boyfriend and bestfriend. Thanks for pretending I‘m 21 forever.

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landonorris my world, anything for you 🧡

y/nfewtrell love youuu

maxfewtrell disgusting

maxfewtrell we all know she aint 21, plus he’s MY bestfriend

f1gossip we stan an overdramatic queen

charlottesine power couple

y/nfewtrell thanks chacha

user787 how annoying all that for such a petty reason

f1fans right i was relieved he had dumped her ass

y/nstans sad people you are, she clearly makes him happy

arthur_leclerc happy 21st I guess ;)

landonorris whats with the wink you twat

f1user y/n control your mans

landonorris

liked by f1 and 1‘124‘799 others

landonorris happy 21st birthday to the most beautiful 21 one year old I know. I love you so much eventhough your overdramatic soul makes people assume we broke up every couple of months. I love you my angel.

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user676 21!?!?

f1gossip look at y/ns post

f1lover they have me dead

charles_leclerc isn’t she-

arthur_leclerc shut up charlie

maxfewtrell tell them!

y/nfewtrell thanks bean. I love you more.

maxfewtrell bean? cringe

kellypiquet such a beautiful girl

f1gossip so the whole drama reallly was bc she doesn’t wanna turn 22 hahaha

user67 she‘s truly overdramatic

f1 we love a supportive and delusional king

mclaren like a true gentleman Mr.Norris

maxfewtrell

Sao Paulo

liked by oscarpiastri and 123‘788 others

maxfewtrell happy 22nd second you LIAR, never thought Lando would go as delulu as you. Love you nugget.

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[teapartyprincess4two]

Y/n and Matt get closer when it's just them 2 in the house, and i was thinking Fluff and Smut like a lot of Smut. Maybe Matt is a virgin but Y/n aint so she teaches him???

End of the World- M. Sturniolo

pairing: fem!reader x Matt

classification: Zombie Apocalypse AU, smut, fluff, angst/sad (kinda? Idk it’s a mix of everything)

inspiration: request^^

warnings: 18+, MDNI, set in modern day, use of y/n, literal sex, slight cursing, zombies & general apocalypse stuff (death, lnives, guns, killing, blood, hunger, dehydration, etc.), kinda long

summary: No one deserves to die a virgin, not even at the end of the world.

—

If anyone would’ve told you two years ago that you’d be huddled around the hood of a car, staring down at a worn out map, covered in blood, you would’ve called them crazy.

Two years ago your life was convenient. Now? Now life was simple, all you had to do was survive. All the things you wished would disappear; homework, bills, work, none of them mattered anymore. But they were easily replaced with an even greater burden, a zombie apocalypse and the end of the world.

Two years ago you wouldn’t have had even a spec of dirt under your fingernails, yet here you stand covered in blood that isn’t yours, weeks worth of dirt and grime, and sweat dripping down your forehead. Your hair is pulled back into a ponytail, exposing your shoulders to the harsh Texas heat and further working towards dehydrating you.

Two years ago you wouldn’t so much as hurt a fly. Now you wouldn’t think twice before pulling the trigger if it meant you had a chance at survival.

Two years ago you didn’t have to worry about where your next meal was coming from or if your bedroom was secure enough to sleep in. But the world has changed and so have you.

It’s been months since anyone in your group has had a good nights rest or a warm meal. All you’ve done is run from anything that threatens to harm you. Although you’ve all managed to set up a temporary moderately safe camp within the woods, it’s been difficult to stretch resources that are already scarce.

Food, water, clothing. These are all things that you wish you didn’t need. Why? Because leaving camp to retrieve them is dangerous. But, it’s been 2 days since your last run, and canned goods can only last so long, especially when there’s mouths to feed.

Chris uses his knife to point to an unmarked location on the map, “Nick and I will head south. I saw an old water tower in that direction when we passed through, maybe there’s a town nearby.” He uses the back of his arm to wipe the sweat from his forehead before returning it back to the map, tracing the blade up a road.

“Matt and Y/n, you two try looking in this area. We haven’t checked there yet and if we’re lucky it hasn’t been completely ransacked. You might find something…” Chris pauses, taking a look at the group of people not far behind. They’re chatting, all of them wearing exhausted expression and filthy clothes. “…something to get the group through the next couple of days. We can’t stay here anymore, place is crawling with infected.”

Chris became the leader of your group easily. He had a great way of talking to people, of showing them that even though the world was ending, the glass was still half full.

“You want us to split up?” Nick whisper shouts, a clear alarm evident in his tone. “Remember what happened last time? We lost a third of the group!” Nick flails his arms in desperation, almost like he’s willing Chris to realize the stupidity of his actions.

Nick was reasonable and smart, but too kind for his own good. If he wanted to, he could’ve become the leader of your group and done just as good of a job as Chris, but Nick was too empathic to take on that responsibility. He felt the needs of the group and often was led more by emotion than by reason or logic.

“You think I don’t know that?!” Chris bites back.

You stand next to Matt, watching the argument unfold. This was typical for Nick and Chris, but it stressed you out every time.

“If we had more people, we wouldn’t have to split up. But we’re low on supplies and can’t wait around for food to magically appear,” Chris says.

“If we hadn’t split up the first time, we’d have more people,” Nick snarks, storming away. Chris groans, running his hand through his hair. This was much more responsibility than he could handle, but as the youngest, strongest members of your group it was up to you all to pull the heaviest weight.

“We’ll be fine. Y/n and I are always careful,” Matt finally chimes in, placing a firm hand on Chris’s shoulder to ease any tension. “Besides, that part of town is pretty deep into the woods. I doubt any infected will be lurking and if they are, Y/n’s good with a gun and I’m fast.”

“I’m fast too,” you chuckle, knowing that Matt is trying to make light of a dark situation.

“True. I just gotta be faster,” he replies, sending you a cheeky wink. You laugh, earning a small round of laughter from Chris and Matt in return.

Chris visibly relaxes, grateful that at least one of his brothers isn’t giving him a hard time. But truth be told, Matt didn’t agree with Chris’s plan, he was just smart enough to keep it to himself. He knew that doubt created fear, and once fear infected you, you were as good as dead.

That’s what Matt was good at, being quiet. It came in handy on runs like this, especially because he was so quick on his feet. It’s your favorite characteristic of his, he’s a good listener, he’s observant, and you know that you’ll be safe as long as Matt is with you.

“Alright. Let’s head out, we’re gonna lose the light,” Chris instructs, jogging in the opposite direction of the camp to begin loading up a few trucks with guns and ammo.

“You two can take the car.”

Matt mulls the idea over. A car would be faster, but definitely much louder. Noise attracts anything looking for its next meal, especially the infected, and with only you to cover him he’s not sure he’s willing to take that risk.

“Nah. We’re walking. The town’s not too far, we’ll make it back by tomorrow morning the latest,” Matt replies, tossing a rifle in your direction. You’re quick to catch it and just as quick to respond, “Are you sure? A car would get us there and back before dinner.”

He understands your concern, but he can’t risk losing you, not after all the losses he’s already suffered. “Just trust me,” he murmurs, the look in his eyes being enough to calm your nerves.

“Whatever you have to do, Matt. Just come back,” Chris says, slamming the trunk shut.

—

Leaves and dry grass crunch under your feet with every step. It’s late summer and the Texas heat has managed to kill everything left alive that wasn’t infected.

You’ve been walking for two hours, only running into a few infected on the way, managing to take them out with nothing but your blade. Matt hates using guns, in fact you’ve only seen him use them on very rare and necessary occasions. You never understood his apprehension, I mean it’s the end of the world for Christ’s sake, but you’ve never questioned him.

“Heads up,” Matt whispers, nodding his head in the direction of a gas station.

You follow his gaze. It seemed like an easy place to loot. Apart from the few rotted corpses that roamed the exterior, only parked cars litter the parking lot, most of them still connected to the gas pumps.

“We’ll go in through the back. There’s got to be dry storage there,” Matt says, crouching and leading you towards the back of the building. You hum in response, readying yourself with your weapon and following closely behind.

Your scent must carry because as soon as you’re within 10 feet of the infected, their attention is drawn to you. Their arms are limp at their sides and their walk is more of a stagger, but it always manages to get your blood pumping.

“Hurry!” Matt whisper shouts, reaching behind him for your hand. Soon he’s pulling you into the building, shutting it securely behind you and bringing his pointer finger up to his lips to instruct you to keep quiet.

“I’ll go left. You go right,” you mouth, beginning to walk the aisles of the store while ensuring to keep your back to the wall. Matt nods, perusing the aisles as best he can while his life is in immediate danger.

Infected bite and claw at the glass windows, snarling as they watch you and Matt like prey. Sometimes you wondered what their life was like before they were bit, but the second one is close enough to harm you, all sympathy leaves and you don’t think twice before unloading the clip.

When you’re sure the building is secure you put your knife away and grab a shopping basket, securing it in the pit of your elbow as you load it with as many supplies as you can. Chips, jerky, candy, canned food, oil, rags, water, any and everything you two can carry is being thrown into these baskets.

“How are gonna get all of this back?” You ask Matt, noticing the even greater pile he’s accumulated. He scratches his head, taking a look around for something that’ll help lighten the load.

From the corner of his eye he spots a few duffel bags. Matt grabs a few and motions for you to begin packing them with as much as possible. “If they get too heavy I’ll carry them.”

“Bet you wish we had a car now,” you chuckle, neatly organizing the duffel bags.

“Not when those things are staring back at me,” Matt says, shuddering as he looks behind his shoulder to see the group of infected that have pooled at the entrance of the building.

—

You’re carrying two duffel bags full of supplies, one weighing on either one of your shoulders. Matt’s holding three, two rest on his shoulders and he’s carrying the other in his hand. He holds the straps so tight that his knuckles have managed to turn white.

The both of you are exhausted from the strength you’re using to carry this supplies back to your camp, from the long trek up-hill, and the energy you exerted to take out at least a dozen infected.

You stumble on a rock, the weight on your shoulders making it difficult for you to fix your footing. “Hey, you okay?” Matt asks, examining you with his eyes.

“I’m fine. Just tired,” you wheeze, hunching over and supporting yourself with your hands on your knees.

Matt’s tired too, of course he is, but it’s not like you two can set up camp in the middle of nowhere while surrounded by infected. He remembers seeing a few houses further up the road, it’s not a long walk and if you can make it, you’ll be able to rest there until morning.

“C’mon I think I saw a neighborhood, just push through a little longer. We’ll rest there for tonight and pick back up in the morning, okay?”

He waits for you to catch your breath, rubbing your back and comforting you, but never once letting his guard down in case something gets a jump on him.

You take a deep breath, straightening up and adjusting the duffel bag’s straps on your shoulders.

“Okay.”

—

The walk to the neighborhood was much longer than you thought, and you were starting to wonder if you were lost.

“Are you sure this is the right way?”

Matt looks at you from behind his shoulder, subtly rolling his eyes before averting his gaze forward again. “You wanna lead the way, princess?”

The nickname makes you chuckle, mostly because you knew Matt used it when his mood was starting to sour and that only ever happened when he was hungry or tired. By the looks of it, he was starting to become both.

A small town comes into view just as you’re about to reply. It looks like you’ve stumbled across the Main Street, and as packed as it is with abandoned businesses and stores, a residential home is nowhere to be seen. “Didn’t I tell you I saw a town,” Matt snarks, a hint of sass laced in his tone.

You hum. “No. You said you saw a neighborhood. There isn’t a house anywhere to be seen. We might as well season ourselves for the damn infected to eat.”

A twig snaps in the distance. Your voices, although relatively quiet, have already worked towards alerting the undead of your presence.

“Shut up,” Matt grits, pulling you close to his body. You know better than to argue, instead pressing your back against his and unsheathing your knife.

Snarling and growling echoes through the town, bouncing off the buildings and making it difficult for you to pinpoint exactly what direction they’re coming from. That doesn’t stop Matt though, instead he uses the hand that isn’t holding a knife to grab your arm.

“Stay close,” he mouths, so inaudible that you almost don’t catch it. You nod your head, taking a fleeting look at your surroundings before following Matt through a back alley between a cafe and a gym (or what used to be a cafe and a gym).

The alley is a dead end, fenced off at the end with nothing but hungry zombies reaching through the metal rods in attempt to grab you. The old you would’ve screamed and cried for help, but you’ve learned to suppress your fear in order to survive.

You take a firm hold of your knife, stabbing it into the head of as many infected as you can. Quiet grunts emit from you and Matt as you clear the path, watching undead body after body hit the ground. For a second you feel sad, but only for a second. You don’t have time for trivial things such as emotions anymore, especially not when a trail of flesh eating monsters follows closely behind.

“Through here. C’mon,” Matt ushers, opening a door that leads into a gym. Although it’s safer than being stranded outside, the brick walls can only protect you for so long. You do a quick sweep of the room, looking for anything useful while also ensuring there aren’t any hidden surprises.

Once you’re sure it’s safe, you motion for Matt to follow you with a head tilt. He locks the door behind him, barricading it with an old elliptical before following you into the next room.

You enter a changing room, lined with showers and lockers that were sure to have at least one fresh pair of clothes. You set the heavy bags you’ve been carrying down, sighing with relief as you stretch your shoulders. Matt does the same, joining you in rummaging through the lockers for a new, clean shirt.

A lot of the clothes is tucked away in backpacks, most of it being unflattering male clothing, but you weren’t big on fashion nowadays. “Here. Found this for you,” Matt says, tossing a white tank top your way. You hold it up in the light, “Cute. Thanks.”

You’re about to change your shirt, without any real warning for Matt, so he quickly looks away and fixes his gaze on the shower heads and tiled walls. His hands fiddled with an unopened bar of soap he found in one of the lockers. Matt doesn’t know why he grabbed it, it’s not like he had access to running water, but a man could dream.

“I wonder if the showers work,” he thinks out loud.

You stand behind him, wearing only your bra and underwear as you wonder the same thing. God knows you could both use a shower right now. “Hmm,” you hum, tilting your head in wonder.

“Only one way to find out,” you shrug, pushing past Matt and sauntering over to the knob. You twist it quickly, patiently waiting for even a single drop of water.

Nothing, just groaning pipes and a slap in the face for naivety.

“Guess they don’t,” you say, standing under the shower head and looking at Matt with a sad smile. He chuckles, and just as he’s about to give up too, hot water spurts out abruptly, hitting the back of your head and running down your spine.

“Holy shit that’s hot!” You gasp. In all the excitement, Matt forgets how inappropriate it would be to join you in the shower under regular circumstances, and throws his clothes off. You’ve somehow already managed to remove your remaining clothing and have started scrubbing at your skin with your bare hands, letting the water run down your face.

“Matt! Hurry before it runs out!” You say, waving your hand behind you blindly. He doesn’t skip a beat, joining you under the shower head and letting it relax his sore, aching muscles. The water draws an audible groan from his lips, bringing you back to reality. You were naked and taking a shower with Matt, someone who was a stranger to you before the end of the world.

Suddenly, he remembers the bar of soap still in his hands and he accidentally takes in your naked figure as he opens it. His dick immediately rises, a clear indicator that he’s enjoying the view.

“Turn around,” he instructs, running the soap under the water and lathering his hands up. You do as your told, immediately feeling his fingers tangle themselves in your hair as he massages your scalp. It wasn’t necessarily an in depth hair wash routine, but it would suffice for now.

Soon, you’re turning around and rinsing the soap from your hair before reaching for the bar and instructing Matt to do the same.

“Here lemme get you now.” You shuffle behind him, tip toeing to reach better. Although it was odd and unexpected, you were glad to be sharing this moment with Matt.

The rest of the shower is silent as you and Matt bask in the warm water that runs down your bruised and battered bodies. You try keeping your limbs to yourselves, save for the brief moments Matt’s erect member brushes against your thigh or butt, but it’s hard when there’s only one shower head. You want to say something, mostly because you’ve had a crush on Matt from the moment you met him and his group, but you don’t. This isn’t about pleasure, not in this world at least. It’s about survival and the second you forget that, you get hurt.

“Haven’t felt that clean in years,” Matt chuckles, shoving a shirt over his head. The shower seems to have brought his spirits up, providing both of you with a new surge of energy. Little things like running water meant so much more now, especially when you’re trudging through highly forested areas and fighting for you life on the daily.

As you’re about to reply, a loud bang echoes through the locker room, followed by the sound of shuffling in your direction. You’re putting your pants on, buckling them quickly as you try to keep quiet. Your eyes are wide in fear and anticipation, watching Matt for a signal on what to do next.

He doesn’t say anything, instead grabbing the duffel bags from before and darting his eyes towards the exit. Your gun, which you hadn’t used at all today, rests in your hand. Matt holds his as well. He’s on guard, raising the weapon close to his face as he inspects the area.

You follow behind him trying to keep as quiet as possible, fully expecting him to shoot whatever lurks behind the wall. But, as you near the exit, you see it.

Tense shoulders relax, lowering your weapon and sheathing it back into your belt. A squirrel sits on the cement floor, grooming itself and chittering away. You want to approach it, maybe even pet it, but Matt stops you with a hand to your chest.

Unlike you, he’d inspected the entirety of the situation and didn’t let himself become distracted by the first cute animal that crossed his path. After recognizing that it was a squirrel, he wondered what could’ve lead it into the building in the first place, causing him to check the window it entered through. A reanimated corpse stood right outside the window, dragging its feet as it paced back and forth in search of the fluffy animal.

“Let’s go. We’re done here,” Matt ordered, pulling you back towards the exit. And just like that, you were off to find somewhere to sleep, leaving the fluffy animal to fend for itself.

“Bye little guy.”

—

“Forgot how quiet and boring the world is,” you huff, slumping down onto the worn out mattress. Whatever energy the shower provided you was now long gone. You and Matt walked for another hour before finding the initial neighborhood you were searching for. And, after that, you spent another hour finding the perfect house and clearing all its rooms.

“Quiet’s nice,” Matt replies with a soft groan, joining you on the mattress. It sinks with his weight, the coils creaking as he becomes comfortable.

“You’re just saying that cause you want me to shut up so you can fall asleep.” You kick your shoes off and unbuckle your belt, letting it fall to floor with a soft thud. A smile tugs at Matt’s lips. “Right now yes. But in general, quiet’s good. Means we’re safe,” he replies, toeing his own shoes off.

Matt shuts his eyes, fluffing the pillow under his head and willing himself to finally get a full nights rest. This house is safe. He secured all the rooms, barricaded the doors, and his weapon is on standby. He can finally rest and relax. But, of course, your mind begins to wander and when your mind wanders, your words follow. “Guess you’re right… But quiet also means you’re not learning anything about the people you care about.”

A deep breath causes Matt’s chest to rise and fall. He doesn’t understand why you’re trying to be all philosophical at the end of the world. Nonetheless, he responds, “I know you, Y/n. I know you’re strong, I know you’re a kind person, and I know you have my back. I also know you’re annoying, but I trust you and I learned all that from watching. Sometimes you just have to watch people. In quiet. Can we sleep now?” He turns onto his side facing away from you in hopes that you’ll drop the topic and fall asleep.

You stare at his back. “Those are all things you learned about me now. I was nothing like this back then.”

Matt takes another deep breath. It’s obvious you’re in the mood to talk, maybe because you finally feel safe enough to keep your voice anything above a whisper, so he decides just to give in and turn your monologue into actual dialogue.

“Back then?” He asks. Matt shuffles on the mattress, now staring at the ceiling as your eyes remain on him. “Yeah, before everything went to shit. Before the end of the stupid fucking world when the little things used to matter. You know, like first kisses and picking the perfect outfit for a date with a cute guy.”

Matt picks at his fingernails, listening to every word that escapes your lips. When you put it that way, he really didn’t know anything about you. “Okay, so tell me about yourself then. Pretend like we’re not in a strangers house, in a strangers room, on a strangers bed, and tell me all about Y/n… Before the ‘end of the stupid fucking world.’”

You chuckle, preparing yourself for the vulnerability you’re about to put on full display, but now that he’s put you on the spot it’s much harder than you thought.

“Okay so… you already know my name. Hmm. My favorite color is pink?”

Matt scoffs. “That’s the real you? C’mon, you can’t go on this whole tangent about how you were different before and then say THAT.”

“Fine fine.” You think for a second. “I was a waitress at a hotel bar. Mixing drinks was easy, the customers were nice, my coworkers made the job tolerable. Mostly only worked weekends because I was at school during the week… I went to UCLA. Go Bruins!,” you let out a breathy laugh, “My siblings were going to visit me that weekend, the weekend it all happened. They had planned the trip for a long time and finally were gonna make the drive.”

Your mind goes to a dark place, the only thing anchoring you being the hand that Matt places on yours. You clear your throat before continuing, “I had a small off campus apartment. Cleared the living room out and everything for them. Even deep cleaned.” Matt squeezes your hand.

“College was fun while it lasted. My parents worked really hard to send me off. They threw me a going away party and everything, even dressed up my dog as the school mascot,” a small pause as you recollect your thoughts, “I had a puppy named Pig. Well he wasn’t a puppy, more like an old fart, but the name suited him. Named him after my favorite animal and because he had the pinkest nose when he first adopted him.”

You feel yourself becoming increasingly sad as you reminisce on what once was. “You know what? Maybe quiet is nice,” you laugh solemnly, wiping the tears that are rolling down your face.

Matt offers you a warm smile, thinking of something, anything, to get you to smile again. But he can’t help it, he’s curious, and since you’re already on the topic he wants to pry further into your personal life. “What were you going to school for?”

“Engineering. I’m shit with numbers, but I was pretty undecided so my parents just chose for me. Brandon would help me a lot. He was really smart… really sweet… But enough about me, tell me about you. Who was Matt before all this?”

Matt ignores your question, instead posing one of his own. “Who’s Brandon? Was he your boyfriend?” He cringes slightly, both at his boldness and at his lack of awareness of your vulernable, emotional state, but his curiosity keeps getting the best of him.

You snort. “Brandon? God no. He was my best friend, sure, but I was definitely not his type. Plus, I never had time for anything serious. I made time for the fun stuff, but never the commitment.” Matt couldn’t hide the relief on his face even he tried. A relationship status meant nothing during a zombie apocalypse, yet he found himself relieved to know that your heart didn’t belong to another.

“I’m sure you had girls swarming you,” you continue jokingly, poking Matt’s sides with a teasing edge. He makes a noise, something between a groan and chuckle as he runs his hands down his face.

“I take that as a yes?”

He hums, remembering the short lived internet fame he shared with his triplet brothers before shit hit the fan. “Some would say that. If you consider subscribers and followers as swarming girls.”

You visibly cringe, “Oh God. Were you one of those thirst trappers? Bet you went to influencer parties and vlogged your morning routine.” Matt laughs loudly, a genuine laugh, one of the few you’ve heard from him since you met.

“Rent was due, okay?” He replies between laughter. Soon you’re both laughing, bodies clumsily bumping as you clutch your stomach and wipe away tears. Your bodies are impossibly close, closer than they should be on a queen sized mattress, and you only notice it once your laughter dies down.

Your eyes have locked with his and your noses even manage to graze. Neither of you make an effort to look away or even to apologize for invading the other’s space. Instead, you do the unthinkable, the one thing you didn’t allow yourself to even think about doing even when he was naked in front of you earlier. You kiss him. You lean forward and close the gap, moulding your lips onto his.

Matt doesn’t hesitate to reciprocate the kiss. His hands find a comfortable resting place on your upper thigh and lower back, using the little energy left in his body to pull you closer. One of your hands lays on his chest while the other gently weaves its way through his hair.

The kiss is sweet and innocent, and it could’ve been over by now, but because you’re both so touch starved you separate for air and dive right back in. You moan against his lips, caressing the side of his face your thumb before moving so you’re cradling his waist. Subconsciously, as if on instinct, you grind down onto him, wanting to feel and explore him further.

Matt wants to go further, and he knows you know it too, especially with the display he put on earlier in the shower, but he’s a virgin who’s afraid to disappoint. So, he pulls away from the kiss and holds your hips in place with strong hands.

“I— Give me a second,” he murmurs, squeezing his eyes shut and gulping so hard his adam’s apple bobs up and down. Matt’s mind is racing, every possible outcome for this situation playing through his mind.

You sense his apprehension, plus it’s written all over his face. You never want to push his boundaries or make him uncomfortable. So, you do the only thing you can think to do. Quickly, you shuffle off of him and off the bed. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I just thought— today in the shower— I’ll sleep downstairs on the couch.”

You begin to gather your things, leaving Matt dumbstruck as he stares between you and his raging erection. If he didn’t speak up now, you were going to get the wrong idea and he’d miss his chance at a shot with you. Your face is red hot with embarrassment.

“Wait.” He reaches out and grabs your hand, gently pulling you back down onto the mattress.

Matt prepares himself for the vulnerability he’s about to display. He’s nervous, embarrassed, scared, and to top it off you’re the hottest girl he’s ever seen. And it’s not just because you’re the only one left either.

“I’m a virgin.”

Your eyes blow open in shock. “But earlier you said about the? I just thought?” He laughs at your inability to form a coherent sentence, but he gets the gist.

“It was hard to trust people when I was famous, especially girls. I never knew if they truly liked me or just wanted to have my name associated with them for the clout. But it’s different now, I know I can trust you. We took a shower together without making it weird after scavenging through old worn out clothes to find something slightly newer than what we had. You’re covered in the blood of monsters we killed to keep each other safe. You’re here with me when I have nothing permanent or safe to offer.” Matt pulls you back onto his lap, sitting up against the bed frame so your torsos are parallel.

“I should’ve said this a long time ago, but it’s hard to find the time when you’re fighting for your life on the daily… I care about you, Y/n. A lot. I’m not sure what to call it yet, but I care about you and I trust you. I trust you enough to do this.” You’re touched by his words, feeling their effect on your heartstrings and your throbbing core.

“I trust you too, Matt. So much more than you’ll ever know.” In that moment those words felt more real than an ‘i love you’ ever could. Matt leans forwards and kisses you, holding you by the neck. This kiss is different than the one from before, it’s needier and laced with lust.

His hands travel towards your tank top, tugging until he successfully untucks the fabric. You pull away from the kiss and lift your arms, allowing Matt to remove your shirt in one swift motion. The smile on his face as you slowly begin roaming your hands all over his body is genuine, filled with admiration, love and lust.

Your fingers beginning slipping his flannel over his shoulders, your mouth falling down to his broad shoulders to pepper kisses on the skin there. Soon, you’re both removing the rest of your clothes and Matt’s excitement has him flipping you over on the old, worn mattress. He gawks at the sight beneath him. You lay there completely exposed with only the soft moonlight that trickles in through the blinds to illuminate your body. Matt takes it all in, relishing in your beauty like it’s the last time, because in this world it very well might be.

A gentle hand trails from his stomach down to his penis, tracing the outside of his cock and watching intently at the way Matt’s eyes screw shut in concentration. It’s been so long since he’s touched himself and the sight of you alone is enough for him to combust, but he pulls himself together. You trace your thumb over the slit, coating his member with the natural lubrication that’s already spilling out before dragging his cock along your folds. Matt’s breath hitches at the new sensation, you already feel so warm and soft, he doesn’t know how he’s meant to last even one second once he’s actually inside you.

“We can stop if you want to.” Matt gulps, shaking his head feverishly. He doesn’t want this to stop, he’d never want this to stop, even if it hasn’t even really started yet. “No,” his voice is choked, “don’t stop.”

Your lip is caught between your teeth as you continue to guide the tip to your entrance, finally unwrapping your fingers from around him and instead wrapping your legs around his waist. Finally, Matt moves, sinking his cock into you slowly until he’s completely bottomed out. The initial feeling is euphoric, so euphoric in fact that his arms wobble as he tried to keep himself from collapsing on you. You love seeing him like this. A strong man who’d do anything to protect you, so weak and vulnerable from your touch.

His head finds the place where your neck and shoulder meet, forehead resting in the divot there as he slowly begins thrusting. Soft grunts and groans brush against your skin, sending shivers up your spine. Praises fall from your own lips as his tip continues to kiss your cervix, egging him further in helping you reach your climax. But tonight was about him, as long as the man on top of you convulsed with pleasure you’d be happy.

Matt’s hips snap against yours, picking up the pace as he chases his orgasm. It’s so close, right on the edge, and from the way he sounds and feels you’re close too. “Keep going, Matt. Don’t stop,” you moan, pulling him in closer with your legs around his waist. Matt whimpers your name, sucking and biting on the skin of your neck harder with each passing thrust.

“I’m gonna cum,” he grunts, words choppy and interrupted by pants and moans. All you can do is whimper in return, snaking a hand between your bodies to rub your clit. As soon as your fingers touch the sensitive bundle of nerves, your body goes into overdrive. Your legs are shaking, pussy fluttering around his cock as you grip his shoulders and moan his name. The feeling of your walls pushing and pulling around him, mixed with the way you chant his name, pushes Matt over the edge. His hips tremble slightly as he spills his load inside of you, his inexperience making it to where he’s unable to pull out before the wave of pleasure washed over his body.

Your bodies remain intertwined for a while, both of you trying to catch your breath. Matt reluctantly pulls out of you, relishing in the way your body chases after him. The mattress dips as he slumps into the spot next to you.

“Thank you.”

You turn to face Matt, a confused look on your face. You’re not sure where this will lead your relationship, but you never expected a thank you after sex, nor had you ever received one.

“Thank you?” You chuckle, curious to where the conversation was heading.

He hums. “Yeah, for not letting me die a virgin.” You can’t help the snort that follows.

“Well in that case, I guess you’re welcome. No one deserves to die a virgin, not even at the end of the world.”

Matt smiles again, a sight you’ll never grow tired of. He leans in for a kiss, pulling you close and keeping you there. The kiss is sloppy, mostly because you’re both exhausted from the days events, but neither of you dare pull away. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring or if there will even be a tomorrow, all you know is that this moment right here is real and you’d like to enjoy it for as long as possible.

“Get some rest, we have a long trip tomorrow.”

—

MASTERLIST

A/n:

Thank you so much for this request my sweet anon. I’m currently rewatching (binging) TWD and needed to get some zombie apocalypse type story out of my system, so I hope you don’t mind that I used that idea on your request. Also, I know you requested for the reader to teach Matt and I didn’t include really any of that here. I focused on the whole Virgin!Matt aspect of it all. Hope you all enjoy, sorry for not writing a lot recently :P I’m deep in the trenches of Daryl Dixon fanfiction right now so if u need me, that’s where you’ll find me (if u can’t already tell by my reblogs lolol)

ps, I didn’t go to UCLA so if that’s not the mascot don’t kill me. A quick google search told me that much

luv u all xxx

- L.A.M.B 💗👼🏻

—

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[pedge-page]

Joel dealing with preggo wife #7. 5 Special where Joel DOES get you the dog

Decided Olive from the Esquire shoot will be Spoon because LOOK AT THAT PRECIOUS BABY

Notes: Joel's wifu is never not gonna be pregnant but hypothetically this is a snippet if Joel does decide to follow through after his promise in part 7. Again, not part of main timeline or series but would take place in future after the baby is born:

- - - -

Flash forward after your pregnancy, when your healthy little girl is already over one-year-old and Joel can just now barely trust Tommy to babysit her without assistance …

True to his word, Joel brings you to the local pound. You bounce giddily in the passenger seat of the truck with more energy than you’ve had in the last 18 months.

"Ya know, you're almost more excited to get a dog than when we brought our own baby home."

"Gee I wonder if it had anything to do with a 9 hour labor and then splitting my vagina apart, not sleeping for 3 days and then having to wear a pad the size of Africa as she cried the entire ride home?"

He shivers at the thought, remembering how your temper due to sleep deprivation was at its worst yet. "Yeah. Yeah good point."

 You both peruse through the sad, shaking little animals behind the serilized gates, and you almost want to burst into tears and leave. But he takes your hand and you both listen closely as the handler explains each story. How they were rescued, their recovery stories, certain needs and comforts, whether they’d be comfortable with children.

You find one who’s chipper to have an audience today, eagerly sniffing you through the gate and wagging his tail.

“Oh, Joel!”

Joel glances at the clipboard on his cage, noting the name: Tommy. 

“Hell no.”

“Oh come on, he’s perfect! Already part of the family!”

“Aint letting a dog named after my brother lick your face, hump your leg, and steal you away from me every night. No way.”

The handler comes over and apologies: “Tommy actually already has a family coming to pick him up tomorrow, so he’s not available.”

“Ha!” Joel puts his hands on his hips with a sassy head tilt. “Good—for the dog of course,” he adds to the annoyed handler.

 Then Joel finds an anxious little dog whos previous owner had died with no one to look after her. You two sit in the room for a while, quiet and calm and patient until the mut finds the courage, tail tucked between her legs, to rest her chin on your knee. You come in and visit Spoon, as she's appropriately named given how much she likes to conform to your leg and rest, every day for the week before you're absolutely sure she's coming home. And just like that, you two adopt her into the Miller house.

At first Spoon isn't sure of the new home, and especially unsure of the interesting smells coming from the small human in the crib but eventually she quietly relaxes.

Joel was pretty quick to establish rules that would be absolute BS.

"No dog on the couch" well that went out the window week 1. "No dog on the bed" yeah fuck that by week 3. "No food of the plate" bitch you JUST saw him give her the rest of his lasagna.

You had to scold him about giving her too much shit food for her health.

By week four, you started to notice that Spoon is taking a real liking to Joel.

More than she likes you. And Joel is eating it up. Belly rubs, cuddles, even training responses are better suited with Joel than with you. Spoon pretty much only comes to you when she feels like it, never when called. Never sits for you. She's sweet, but pretty much ignores you. And it's kinda fucking--upsetting that your dog is stealing your mans.

Until you find out the dog speaks Spanish.

"That's not fair!" You shout to Joel as Spoon excellently heeds and sits to Joel's every command, tail whipping excitedly with each praise--all in Spanish.

"Its not my fault, honey."

"You KNEW"

"How would I have known?"

Ok, fair point.

And you're kinda pissed but it's so adorable watching Joel really love and train this dog--basically everything he said he wouldn't do cuz it was supposed to be "your" dog.

And while you were scared to introduce her to the baby, Spoon acted like a pro--extremely gentle, happy tamed wags as her big head and wide eyes perched on her petite feet and watched with curious quiet eyes for hours as she slept soundly. She adapted to true guard duty better than even Joel, especially when you would breastfeed, or burp her, or just sway her in your arms. Spoon watched and kept a tight perimeter that not even Joel could intercept when it was Baby duty.

Then one day on her own, while you're reading a book on the couch, Spoon drags her body over and rests on your lap. Always looks at you, presses her snout into your stomach and lies there for hours. And it's so cute, until she's preventing Joel from coming close to you, growling protectively, and keeps being a guard dog for you whether the baby was there or not.

"The hell is wrong with her?" Joel asks, being shoved off to the less-than-deseriable side of the couch.

You shrug and stroke Spoon's ears.

It's not until you go to the doctor with woozy symptoms and an upset stomach that you figure out why Spoon's behavior towards you changed:

You're pregnant again.

--

Series Masterlist

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[the-kr8tor]

Sending a req for zombie apocalypse au like you asked!^^ (Crow anon but I aint signing hehe) I have two ideas for some fluffiness (if you wanna use em!) so I'll lay em out here- 1. As I mention in my daily hobie hc, you try to call his name but you can't get to him- maybe, we'll go 180 here and you manage to get to him/he remembers you, and its like a reunion sorta thing OR 2. You both are zombies and are maybe revisiting places you've had dates before- (wink wink abandoned building date wink wink) Silly fluffy zombie stuff

Yeess zombie au!! I chose the second one! And surprise surprise, it ended up being angstier than I thought it would be lol thank you for requesting! ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Tags: use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader, CW gore, TW death, CW blood. Zombie AU, Angst.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Amidst the haze of death and the fog of rot, Yuri finally finds you. Her heart skips a beat at the sight of your sunken eyes and grotesque infected bite on your neck. Her trigger finger shakes as her scope roams around your bloodied clothes. Drying black splotches of blood marring the familiar jacket you always wore. A sob breaks through her body, tears blurring her vision, she finally found you but it's too late.

She's too late.

Yuri whispers your name, and you stumble out of the dilapidated record shop like you heard her. Out comes another familiar form after you, leather jacket all torn up, jaw unhinged and numerous bites along his leg. Yuri almost screams his name, Hobie. Her hopes are dashed at the sight of his undead body following you. She thought that he would be alive at least, that he's surviving somewhere, but she knows that he can't survive without you. That's probably why when Yuri moves the sniper scope downwards, she sees your hand bound with his. A rope around your wrist and Hobie's, tying you to him, tying him to you. It says everything, it tells a tragedy.

She hoped and wished that she would find her friends after the world ended, hell, she even readied herself that she would find them without a breath in their decaying lungs. But not like this, never like this.

You both shamble off into the streets, as if you're holding each other, as if you're both still breathing, hand in hand, like how she always sees you both. Yuri hesitates to pull the trigger. She remembers everything, from how you laughed at her joke, from how she met Hobie to the last gig with you two before the world went to shit. She misses you both, truly, she would always wake up wondering where you two ended up amidst the chaos. She even relished the thought of not knowing, her mind making up situations of where her friends would be.

Yuri has no idea how to tell Ned.

Her walkie-talkie cackles on her chest, the unmistakable voice of Ned sounds out on the roof she's perched on. “Yuri?” He asks, voice tired.

Yuri clears her throat but the tears still come. “I'm here.”

“Good, uh, I know we're looking for supplies but you know the drill. If you see any signs of Y/N and Hobie—”

“I'll tell you, I know.” She knows Ned's spiel already, it has been almost two years of trying to find you two, two years of Ned saying the exact same sentence. Two years of scavenging the city and the only sign you two have left was Hobie's guitar left on the floor of a pharmacy. That was six months ago. Two years of hope, two years of longing to find you both alive and well. And now that she has, she has no idea what to do now. Especially that you're husks what you and Hobie used to be.

The walkie-talkie cackles to life again. “...okay, thanks. No sign of them on my end.”

Yuri looks through her scope again, following you and Hobie shambles into the old pub where everyone in the band frequents before everyone got separated. Then she realizes, you were both going into places where you two used to go to. The record shop was where you met the rest of the band, where Hobie introduced you to them. She remembers how shy yet excited you were to meet them, and she remembers how Hobie held on to you like someone in the band would shoo you away. No one did, everyone else welcomed you with open arms. That was almost ten years ago now. Yuri wishes she could go back, but she can't.

Every place leads back to the past.

She weeps alone, gloved hand covering her mouth so the noise wouldn't attract the horde below.

Yuri has the urge to come down from her perch to take a good look at you and Hobie. But she knows that she wouldn't be able to pull the trigger once she sees your still intertwined hands closer. She hates herself for not being brave enough to come and say goodbye to her friends, she hates herself for not telling Ned the truth. She hates herself for not finding the both of you sooner.

As the sun sets and the undead below groans lowly, teeth clacking against the other, chomping into nothingness. The sobs Yuri let out has subsided, yet the heaviness in her chest stays. She wonders how long it'll stay.

Seeing movement inside the pub, she looks into her scope to spot you two walking out. For a moment her eyes betray her, she sees you both alive and well, clean clothes on your back, smiling at eachother and hands intertwined like always. Yuri blinks and all she sees is death.

With a deep inhale, she follows you and Hobie throughout your ‘day’. Ignoring James’ and Ned’s calls, she jumps from roof to roof, sniper tied on her back, and mind imagining that it's a regular day for you both. That maybe in your mind’s eye, that you're having a date with Hobie, that maybe in his mind's eye that he's taking you out for a nice day out after a hard week.

She hopes that's the case.

Yuri always thought that there's always a semblance of somebody's life left in them once they turn. You walking into the empty grocery store with Hobie in tow proves it. She wonders if there's a cure, she could possibly bring you both back to life. But the gaping hole in your neck and the angry wound on Hobie's leg says otherwise.

Jumping to another dusty roof, you and Hobie are a lot closer to her now. She could see you both clearly, she wishes she doesn't. From just one good look at the injuries littered around yours and Hobie's rotting flesh, she surmises that her friends have only been dead for two weeks.

Yuri fights a sob from breaking out of her aching chest. She was too late, her mind racing to all the what if’s. Shaking her head, she sees you two wander off to the pier. And she immediately knows where you're going. As you both disappear behind broken boats, Yuri jumps off the roof with a practiced landing. Barely making any sound or letting her knees take the brunt of the fall. A tear escapes when she remembers that she learned how to do that from Hobie.

Trainers thumping softly against the wooden dock. Yuri sees you and Hobie sitting at the end of it, barely moving, still not breathing as you two watch the sunset. Your backs are turned away from her, if you can even smell her from where you sat, you don't take notice of her. Milky white eyes glued at the orange sunset that slowly sinks down into the sea.

Yuri takes out her handgun, breath stuck in her throat as she aims shakily at your heads. Whispering your names, instead of looking over your shoulders to stare and lunge at her warm flesh, you place your heavy head on top of Hobie's shoulder.

Yuri shakes her head, exhaling, you both look so alive like this, peaceful, lives untouched by sorrow and death.

When Yuri returns back to base with Ned frantically running towards her, eyes full of worry, he knows immediately the reason why her eyes are red, and why there's tears flowing down her tear stained cheeks. He knows, and he crumbles to his feet.

[jeridandridge]

Summer Lovin

Sophia spends a long weekend away with the Schemmenti family.

At the beginning of July Melissa drives with the windows down and her hand on Sophia’s leg as they leave the city for highway and eventually the country side for a week away with a good chunk of the Schemmenti family.

“We better get there before Tommy. I aint sleeping across the hall from the kids again.” Melissa huffs making Sophia laugh.

“It’s not even eight o’clock yet, baby. I think we’ll beat him there.”

Getting to the little town just after eleven Sophia looks out the window taking a deep breath of the air, the smell of firewood and the lake filling her with excitement. Having been with Melissa for a little over a year, the redhead decided it was time for Sophia to really bond with the family despite the family being, well, them.

“Mel, itll be a great week.” Sophia flashes her girlfriend a smile. She was a little nervous, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Pulling up the gravel drive way to the house, a single car belonging to Kristen Marie.

“Even with the wicked witch of the east coast already here?” Melissa quirks a brow leaning over the center console towards her girlfriend.

Leaning in with a hum Sophia kisses her softly. “Even then. Besides I think she secretly likes me. C’mon, let’s unload.” She hops out excited to get settled inside.

As the two grab their bags out of the trunk the blonde Schemmenti comes out to the large wrap around porch with a wine glass in hand already.

“Look who showed up!” She calls out from the door, “Ginger and the pipsqueak.”

Sophia rolls her eyes looking up to the porch with a smirk as they walk up the gravel. “Hey it ain’t five o’clock yet put the bottle down before we call for help!”

“‘Lissa this one needs to be put on a leash.”

Going up the steps Sophia nudges the door open with her foot as she carries all the bags in. “Kristen Marie if your sister wants to tie me up it’ll be in our bedroom.”

Melissa lets out a cackle following her girlfriend into the house with her hand on her lower back, always amused by the banter she could handle from Kristen Marie.

After picking a room on the second floor and unpacking Sophia plops down on their bed while Melissa changes into a sun dress. Laying there on the comfortable bed with a warm breeze coming through the window blue eyes can’t move from milky skin and beautiful curves.

“You’re gorgeous you know that?”

Adjusting the bra straps on her shoulders Melissa bends over leaning in to kiss her girlfriend. “You’ve told me a few times.”

“Just making sure.” Sophia gives her a goofy grin reaching up to run her thumb over rosy pink lips.

“Aunt Mel! Sophia!” A little voice calls out as feet get closer and closer to the door.

With a wink Sophia gets up allowing Melissa time to fix her dress before she opens the door. “Is that my Valentino?!” Sophia beams crouching down, all but being barreled over by Melissa’s youngest nephew as he runs to her in a hug.

“Sophia! We gonna swim and make smores!” The seven year old hugs her neck tightly. Clad in his spider-man swim shorts and a white tank top he’s ready for the weekend.

“Yeah we are, monkey! And Aunt Mel brought water guns.” She playfully tickles his sides.

The little boy laughs letting go of Sophia to rush over to his aunt wrapping himself around her. “Aunt Mel! I see you and Sophia aaaaall weekend?” He drags out the word.

“Yeah, sweet boy.” She laughs kissing his head. “We’re gonna have so much fun.”

“V, let’s go downstairs and see who else is here.” Sophia suggests holding her hand out to the little boy.

As Valentino takes her hand he holds the other up for Melissa hopping as they walk out to the hall, Melissa smiling at her girlfriend. Sophia is always good with the kids, able to be goofy with them and have fun but also correct them if she needs to and Melissa adores her for it.

Hours later while the smell of the grill fills the air out back and the entire Schemmenti family is around, Sophia and Melissa play cornhole against uncle Tommy and his son Anthony. Standing there waiting for her turn to throw Sophia takes a moment to enjoy the the warmth she feels from the inside and out seeing the kids swimming in the lake, jumping off the dock, and most importantly Melissa completely relaxed and happy.

“Tesoro, your throw.” Melissa chuckles snapping the brunette out of her daydream across the grass.

“Don’t fuck it up!” Anthony calls out from the other side of the boards.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth, Anthony?” Sophia quirks a brow throwing the small bean bag, it landing with a ‘swish’ in the hole.

“That’s my girl!” Melissa beams jumping and whooping at the winning toss.

Across the lawn standing next to Uncle Tommy Sophia blows her girlfriend a kiss. “Best two out of three?”

Later in the night, the fire pit is ablaze and the kids make smores while the older kids take the boat out. Sitting beside Melissa with a beer bottle in hand Sophia eyes the group chuckling when she sees Melissa’s little brother.

“Lost my wife and my dog.” He gestures out to the boat taking a seat on one of the folding chairs.

Gently squeezing Melissa’s hand Sophia chuckles into her bottle. “Sounds like a country song, buddy.”

The younger Schemmenti sibling lets out a laugh leaning back in the chair.

“Melissa, I like this one.” He points at the brunette.

Melissa grins keeping her fingers entwined with Sophia’s. “Yeah, she’s alright I guess.” She hums leaning over to kiss her cheek. “She even keeps up with Kristen Marie.”

“What about Kristen Marie?” The blonde woman appears behind the couple, making Sophia jump.

“Jesus Christ, we need to put a bell on you.” Sophia all but jumps from the bench at the sudden presence.

“You couldn’t sense a disturbance in the force?” Melissa rolls her eyes as the blonde takes a seat across from them.

“You love me, ‘Lissa.” The younger sister teases.

“Yeah yeah,” Melissa groans standing up, holding her hand out to Sophia. “Come with me.”

Taking another swig of her beer Sophia leaves it on the bench happily taking her girlfriend’s hand following her. Feeling the grass between her toes she takes in a deep breath of the night air.

“It’s beautiful here, baby. Thank you for bringing me.”

Melissa keeps walking, eventually leading the younger woman out to the moonlit dock. Wrapping her arms loosely around her loves neck she brings them to a slow sway.

“Romantic, Schemmenti.” Sophia grins wrapping her arms around the shorter woman’s waist.

“It’s kinda my job to keep you happy.” She beams as the two sway in the moonlight.

“You make me incredibly happy, baby.”

Dancing on the dock Sophia keeps a hand on her waist, the other reaching for Melissa’s to spin her out, making Melissa giggle and she spins back into her girlfriend.

Down the dock near the fire pit, Shamus nudges Kristen Marie nodding to the couple.

“What do you think? Do we bug Melly to keep the girl around?”

Kristen looks to the couple with a small smirk, secretly very happy for her sister.

“Yeah we can do that.”

[neeeeeoposts]

i know i keep ranting about fusionfall but DUDE ITS SUCH A COOL CONCEPT AND WHY THE FUCK WAS THE GAME CANCELLED I STILL WANNA PLAY IT😭😭😭

but if u didnt know, fusionfall is a game based around an alien invasion involving cartoon network characters of the 2000s or somewhere around that time frame (if i am correct tho, the academy storyline has characters from some 2010s shows?)

by the way, major spoilers for the game ahead

but what is interesting about that is the fact on who is participating in the game. because fusionfall is a story based around the concept of an alien planet invading earth, it causes a life threatening situation for the characters we are introduced to and basically placing them into a war

AND DO YOU KNOW WHO IS IN THAT WAR??? LITERAL CHILDREN. mostly. what i want to mean by that is when you play the game or at least watch playthroughs of it, there are not adults that you meet at first, the only few adults i can count is Prof. Utonium and Father but there's probably more. Instead when you first join, youre met with younger people (depending on whether youre playing on the future or academy version, it really doesnt matter because either way youre meeting someone younger than the age of 20 when you first boot up the game)

this is interesting to me because, once again, think about who's participating in the war against Fusion. its actual kids, like the KND is actually the main supplier or weapons and transport throughout the entire game, and there are literally so many more examples i could give but i wont

but thinking about it from their persepctive, its fucking terrifying. its a literal war theyre in right now, and half of the population of Townsville (or wherever the game takes place) is either dead or somewhere else because nobody is there but them. for all they know, kids could be thinking that their parents or friends died in the invasion, or vice versa.

also, these characters had to take on a huge role at such a younge age. another example, but in the game (for the future version) once you complete the first quarter of the game and are sent back to the past you have to choose a guide to help you advance in your story. for those who dont know, guides are characters that lead four different story lines rhat can be a potential way to help you defeat Fuse at rhe end. The four guides consist of Dexter, Ben 10, Mojo Jojo and Double D.

Out of the four, double d stands out the most since for one, ben 10 and mojo jojo are like superpowered or something cause they feel actually qualified to be leaders in a war. Dexter is like the main reason that FusionFall takes place so he also makes sense to be a guide. Double D however is most likely still 12 years old (or older), still a genius n inventor, but he's just a normal kid here. you could argue that Dexter is just a kid as well, but he has such advanced technology that basically cancels that out.

what im trying to get at here, double d is literally just an average child with nothing but extra braincells he stole from his friends and more resources than usual that made him a guide. at 12. and is participating in a war. just. idk its probably that its horrifying to be a war general at such a young age??

OH AND I DIDNT EVEN BRING THIS UP YET BUT FUSIONFALL SURE AS HELL AINT AFRAID TO LET CHARACTERS DIE

in one of the versions of fusionfall, maybe the academy version?? Buttercup is presumed dead after one of the ppg fights against mojo jojo and she is shot into the sea and disappeared for like a bunch of years. Blossom and bubbles obviously had no idea shes still alive, and spent almost everyday trying to search for her until they had to give up and accept her sisters presumed death and THEN get burdened with an alien invasion (buttercup does come back tho, sorry for spoilers)

and in the future version where your character is accidentially sent far into the future where youre able to see the devastating amount of destruction the invasion can bring, you meet a lot less characters than you do when you travel back to the past. the past part of the game probably has at least over 50 characters or less im not sure, but when youre in the future theres at least 10 characters left

now im not totally sure if every character died or not, but considering the change in environment from the future and past, its not that far off from a possibility. though, it could jist be a personal headcanon for me.

but if this were true, then the game just killed off like the majority of their cast, including the main ones like Dexter and left some behind, obviously so you know what to do in the game but like imagine it from one of the characters perspectives??

eduardo is the only imaginary friend we meet in the future, so he's all alone with none of his friends there

eddy's the only kid left from the cul-de-sac like dude what

numbuh 2 and 5 are probably the only KND members we meet

Ben is still there

basically, everyone left had to watch their family and friends die and thats a little idk dark maybe for a cartoon network game?? i mean just a little-

anywho i love fusionfall its a lovely concept and i really want to talk to people about it but NONE OF MY FROENDS KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CARTOON NETWORK AND IM GETTING SAD OF TALKING TO MYSLEF

goodbye

[lizaluvsthis]

Since Fatal Lavenders will be discontinued / wont have another chapter for this year- I'm dropping off notes-

OLD CONCEPT REF SHEET

CURRENT CONCEPT

These were all part lore dumps that I never gave more details for her character I just want people to know that she aint dead. Yet.

INCOMING LORE:

HEATHER'S LORE:

Lets just say her Human body became permanent right after PV created it just for her. In order for the body to deform and revert back to goop- the USB had to be broken.

The USB is supposedly attached INSIDE of her right hand- (I didn't included that because it mightve been a bit too gore-ish black-)

She had those clear milk skin, more of a brownish color hair, and also heterochromia eyes.

And ofcourse, Four's favorite color. Blue. The thought of matching colors with your partner would've been a thing by now for her.

In the end of the plot- she was different than that- she considered to be one of those good people who change for the better. (This was her second option)

SMG3 is just jealous when she's around with him but doesn't say a word, remains to be silent all the time.

The clear skin is supposed to be vitiligo and such as her eyes are like bright blue ones. She wears casual clothes than the overalls.

Heather uses She/Her pronouns. Her sexuality is undefined.

SHORTER THAN SMG4! She is genuinely a nice person (even at the end) but since I didn't like the plot of soft- I erased her full character and made a new one for TAG6 as a replacement.

Heather died happily and accepted her fate.

The flowers symbolize as the main characters:

Orange - Meggy

Red - Mario

Purple - SMG3

Blue - SMG4

Light blue - P E A C H

TAG6's LORE:

She had tanned skin and a curly brunette hair. Just by looking at her eyes you KNOW there's something up with it.

Unlike anyones white eyes, they have one more of a yellow-ish detail of color. The overalls are part of what the usb could copy just like Three and Four's main one.

For TAG6, their Human Body is temporary. By what Puzzles made for her has a limit due to the USB's capacity. With that said- the USB is right inside of her. To function it must be there.

Tag6 is shown to have a mean trait- tho she never loved SMG4 at all and to anyone else she doesn't like anyone that they encounter.

The lilac filled on their eyes have somekind of hypnotism when people stare at it. (It may work for some but it doesn't work all of the time)

I thought of making her whole appearance give out the lilac theme due to the mixture of RED and BLUE.

(Which is aka SMG3 and SMG4's eye color and since they helped each other out to finish the usb I think they shared some of their links)

Tho TAG6 does have a yellow appearance in its Combat mode.

Tag6 uses she/they/it pronouns. Its orientation is Aromantic.

THEY'RE SLIGHTLY TALLER THAN SMG4! (Suprisingly this doesn't bother him at all since any woman/men is what he'd prefer-)

And since SMG3 is different to act here when with TAG, he starts up an arguement calling her as weak/selfish than she already is. Causing them to piss off and smash his face with its hammer to the air.

Tag6 can be a bit more impatient, they may look like they're a nice person in general but literally they do it for attention and to get what they're willing to succeed.

But in reality behind their mask they turn out to be the cold hearted, uncaring, hateful, disgusted, and a negative being out of all existance.

At the end of the plot they didn't give a damn when it came to SMG4 she just wanted to finish the mission for its master. But since it failed, she never cared anymore less rather than punching insults at Four.

She gives out the color of Lavender which also is close to main purple (because Purple is SMG3's color signature as well-) TAG6 is basically a copy of that color as well.

I think those are all of it- thank you so much for reading everyone I hope I made some of yall inrerested about this lore because not any other people can create such an amazing idea like this one-

Also for those who are waiting for the new chapter it wont come out this year so you'll have to expect it for the early 2025th

[jess-fae]

Mermaid au part 2

Note; I finally got around to finishing the second part woohh, btw i am sorry for the weird spelling errors i will hopefully fix it this time

Summary; Hobie is a pirate captured by the British navy and one day Y/N a mermaid finds him

Trigger warning; thoughts of death, angst, violence, dont worry happy end i promise

✦ "I want you to kill me, I cannot live this life." you looked into his eyes once you would have felt such love but now you felt nothing, it hurt deeply

✦and even if you wouldn't turn into seafoam like your sisters, this would be the only way to end this tragedy humans called life

✦ so you looked hopeful into Hobie's eyes hoping he would understand, after all, in these shared moments you two had there had to be at least a few where he cared for you too, right

 ✦ yet as those words had fallen off your lips Hobies mouth fell dry, he cursed the captain and the lieutenant and whoever let them take away such a big part of yourself

 ✦ you pressed the dagger into his hand, which he swiftly pulled back shaking his head and refusing even to touch the weapon that he was supposed to take your life with

 ✦ you knew you were asking for much but you couldn't help but feel a little betrayed, as you looked over to the water you questioned what all the men felt like when you drowned them and if it would feel any different for you

 ✦ "A can't, it aint righ' dove" he whispered as his hand reached out for your own, noticing the lack of small scales and claws that could have ripped out his heart out at any moment

 ✦tears began to swell in your eyes again as you whispered to yourself "From the sea we are formed, to the sea we return." it was an old saying spoken after or before the death of a mermaid

 ✦even though Hobie could hear you speak, he didn't understand the meaning of what you were saying, but he guessed it couldn't be to good as you starred into the ocean with your eyes full of longing

 ✦as you dropped the dagger and stood up to get closer to the edge of the small boat, Hobie grabbed your wrist stopping you from jumping off

 ✦pulling you close just as a crew member walked along the deck, his voice turning into a whisper "am sure there is a way where ya don' have to die love"

 ✦you sat back down, watching him closely as he thought, that's when it hit him, around a year ago he had saved a witch from being burned alive by angry chr*stians

 ✦" 'lright, I migh' have an idea but we gotta get these chains of." before he knew it you were climbing up the ship again, only to return a few minutes later with a old pair of keys

 ✦ you threw them down to him and Hobie immediately tried them on his chains that were trying his legs to the boat

 ✦ back down with him, you saw that familiar smirk dancing on his lips, "Do you promise if this doesn't work that you will put me out of this misery?"

 ✦the smirk faded and Hobie choked on unsaid words but nodded, the witch had to help you, she had too...

...

 ✦days passed and for you, it seemed like you were just aimlessly swimming around, boredom had gotten the better out of you as you leaned over the edge and let your fingers dance around in the water

 ✦watching as hobie rowed the boat, his slim but yet strong arms flexing every so often

 ✦he made jokes but you couldn`t laugh, still wishing that this would all end soon

 ✦ your eyes went back to the ocean, missing every moment where the cold water used to hug you like a lover would have, now it would just feel like chains tying you down longing for your death

 ✦another day had passed and hobie had finally found the island he had been looking for, praying to whoever would hear him and listen

 ✦he guided the boat through the swamp-like waters, till he saw the small wooden shed

 ✦the two of you stood in front of the door, knocking swiftly waiting for the witch to open the door

 ✦when the door opened a rather young beautiful woman stepped into view, her face falling into a smile as she saw hobie

 ✦you studied her closer as she pulled you two inside, her locs were long and put in a high bun with many of them falling out, her face was filled with golden piercings, and her body was wrapped in a long green dress that reminded you of the kelp forest you loved to explore with your friend

 ✦you found out her name was Eissa, and she asked what she could help hobie with, while he was busy explaining the situation to her you found yourself stunned by her house

 ✦it was filled with different magical items and trinkets that could only be found on the bottom of the sea

 ✦"Is there any way you can make her a mermaid again?" Hobie finished and Eissa looked puzzled, she walked over to one of her many bookshelves and picked up a book skipping through the pages

 ✦you could see her eyes widen after some time, "Hobie may I speak to you in private?" he nodded and told you to stay here before kissing your forehead and leaving into the other room

 ✦"How much are you willing to do for her?"

 ✦"Anything"

 ✦Eissa swallowed before she turned the book towards him, showing him that for such a ritual you would be required to eat a human heart, but not such any, one that was willing to give it up for you

 ✦the room was thickly filled with silence, hobies hand went to his belt grabbing hold of the dagger you had pushed in his hand when you asked him for the impossiable

 ✦ he looked at it closely before handing it to Eissa, nodding at her

 ✦soon enough he sat down and took his final breaths of air, he had gotten her into this situation

 ✦Eissa returned to the room with you inside and gotten her pot out, gently putting hobies heart inside

 ✦"w-where is hobie?" you asked looking back at the door hoping for him to step out of it at any point

 ✦"He can't be here turning the ritual" a lie. but it would be a waste to tell you as things were already done

 ✦soon you laid on a desk as your legs were tied together, Eissa handed you the heart which was still hot from being soaked in the potion

 ✦"You will need to eat it..."

 ✦eating a heart wasn't to strange to you, but you never did it as a human could it be very different?

 ✦it was definitely harder to chew and it wasn't as enjoyable as it was before but you had gotten it down eventually

 ✦pain shot threw your legs are you watched them grow back together and into the beautiful tail it once was

 ✦emotions came rushing through you, hate, sadness and love. love for hobie

 ✦ so you asked again and Eissa finally told the truth, cutting through the rope with you claws you crawled your way to the other room

 ✦where in fact you saw hobies lifeless body, your arms wrapped around him repeatedly saying his name hoping for him to wake up

 ✦your cries turned into a melody, a melody that had wrapped itself around hobies body

 ✦Eissa watched as the blood from his stained shirt started to flow back into the wound, how the color started to paint his skin again and how his chest started to rise and fall again

 ✦hobies heart wasn't gone, it was very well still there beating... just not in his own body

 ✦his hand held a deathly tight grip on your arm as his eyes ripped open and came back to the undead

 ✦everyone's eyes widen at the sight, hobies hand rushed to his chest as he looked down to it not seeing a wound anymore

 ✦ unbeknown to you, you were singing a form of a healing melody used on fellow mermaids, and since his heart was within you it had healed him

 ✦ your arms wrapped around him again, hanging onto him with your full weight which was more than when you were human bringing him down to the floor

 ✦"ergh ehm, I rather not interrupt your little reunion but, Y/N can't be on land for to long or just dry in general before turning into a human again, till she is drenched again. but good news, if you are to become human you wont experience emotional loss like you did this time."

 ✦Eissa explained reading from her little book, hobie picked you up and carried you outside to place you in the water

 ✦you thanked the witch over and over again before hobie and you took off again

 ✦out on the open sea sunset wasn't away for to long and you jumped into the boat with him, letting your tail hang of the side of the boat

 ✦"You know i still need to thank you for what you did, hobie" you said leaning against his shoulder watching the sun go down

 ✦"oh do ya love?" his asked playfully, smirking down at you

 ✦"How about we get you a ship again?"

Note: argghhhh they're so cute!!! anyways that was part two i hope you guys liked it. I am planning to make a third part with more cuter shizzel and maybe smut...

[captain-n-crunchies]

My Baby Boo

Yan! Ghost x Black Hoochie mam Reader

( Inspo for makeup and how I beileve she'll kinda look but it just inspo)

Moving from Memphis to the quite little city of Nothern Montana was a pretty start, from my own mama judging my dreams of being a biochemical engineer to my daddy being my only hero against my mama wrath of " All you going to be is pregnant and 23 Y/n! Just get a regular job a nurse or fast-food worker and quit this science shit!" My mama wanted to be a doctor since she was a kid, till she fooled around with my daddy and fucked it up! Now I gotta be the one to get all her anger! I mean if you told 15-year-old me I'd have a Master's degree of Biochemistry with a paid internship!? AND I moved to across the states to achieve my dream only at 25? I wouldn't believe you.

I've being living in the quite neighborhood for a good 3 months before all this shit happened let's go from the day I moved in.

*Flashback*

" Alrighty ma'am you all set, need anything?"

" Nah I'm but, thank you for helping me mister?

" Fred, sugar just calls me Fred"

" Well thank you Fred... You can gon on now"

I guess he was taken backed he just walked away no bye or nothing! His rude ass. Walking into my house I begin to stay unpacking, my bed was a little late gettin here buttt I got my living room and kitchen down so far when I heard a thud

*THUD*

" Now what the-"

*THUD THUD*

" Oh hell nah, MISTER FRED!"

I jog out the house to see Fred sitting on his rocking chair, I asked him about the house and hearing hard ass thuds and his old ass tells me it probably the squirrels scratching.

" Why you ain't tell me that when buying the house?

" Because it wasn't important then! Look the squirrels like peanut butter bye some and put it out to lead them out na"

I just look at him and I turn, and I thought I saw eyes peeking at me, but I just shake it off, and I ask him just to check it out. He heads to his garage for a ladder and trails me to my house only looking at my ass though, fuckin pervert.

" Hey! Go up there and see about the squirrels!"

" Huh- Ok ok I'm goin I'm goin...reminds me of Hellen.."

He climbs up the ladder and knocks on the wood

" Hm, Hey there girlie there ain't no holes for no squirrels up here

" What you mean? I heard a thud twice by now they probably in the house"

" No siree they aint nowhere without a way to get out, you just heard the house settle I'm guessin"

That wasn't no house settling, a house settling is like a creak not a loud ass thud like I dropped something! I see Fred old ass walk back into his house and I just go inside checking every but of the house, strange enough I set my phone down on the counter and it missing? I found it in the living room but I haven't been in there yet?

She's gorgeous... she a doll even! Pretty skin, her teeth glimmers with jewels and that voice so silky yet firm, she looks like Meleesa... my dear! My darling has come back to reach me from the heavens! Has God forsaken my body to never touch her again? To see her walk around for other to touch the skin of deity for everyone to be able to talk to her without a worry she runs and screams from me? I'll make her minds for she was my golden egg, my baby... I hope she still yearns for me in my state.

It's been a hot minute since I heard something and I finally have my place set, it a tiny bedroom but my vanity and bed fills it perfectly! It's about 9 something and I'm watching some movie on Netflix when I feel a chill, getting up to turn my heat on a see a note on my counter

" My baby, has been a long time since I see that smile of your, heard the soften voice, and smelled your devious scent. I see how you look very different from our last meeting, you've filled up quite nicely; later in the night I will watch you again, I will smell your scent and keep wanting to touch you like I once did. Til I met you again- Your Boo"

What type of mostly ghostly bullshit is going on! I look around and feel another chill as I turn on the heat and turn all all the light, fuck my bill I'll be cool! Running into my room I lock my door and turn on all my light and even the tv, I sit in my bed in my shorts and cami and I ask my friend if she can call, I don't know why I keep her around but she answer and I tell her everything including how Fred didnt tell me about the house.

" Girl I told you don't move nowhere that didn't have niggas til the 1700s!'

" Thats not important! What is that I got some Micheal Myers nigga trying get me!"

" Did it say who it was from?"

" No, it was signed My boo, ian have my boyfriend since FAMU"

" He funny at least"

" Now what so funny about me getting stalked?"

" He signed it my boo, and he's a ghost if you didn't see nobody and what ghost say? Boo! He funny!"

I stare at my phone, and I hang up NOT in the mood. I turn on some music and I just distract myself fixing my hair, painting my toes, anything when I heard water running in my bathroom, walking in there I see the mirror fogs with a message, ' She's quite clever dearest, maybe you should listen to your friends' words- Your Boo'

" Ok...OK I GET IT!" I yell getting anxious that some freaky ass ghost is calling me his dearest! MY DADDY DONT EVEN DO THAT MUCH! With this ghost here I run other the bathroom and lock the door to my room, taking the key and I just run to my car. I unlock my car and drove to the nearest hotel and just crash there for a few days, maybe ghost die if it no one to haunt right? As I drive, I heard a chime on my phone, then another, then a flood of chimes and I stop to check; all the messages from the same number talking about how I can't run, I have no one in this city, I have to come home soon, and he'll be waiting...all signed my boo. I turn off my phone and finds a hotel and pays for two nights, only in my night clothes I sleep for the night, and I prayed I still had some clothes in my car, luckily I had a few clothes and some body care, after a quick shower I head to bed with the lights on and my mind full.

How dare she! Has she no care what she leaves with! I show her care I fix the house; I chased Fred away with my bare hands all for her and THIS is my payment! My dearest must forget her punishments were all but nice with me. But I can't hurt her... no not ever again will I drain the life from her body, never again will I force her gaze upon my bloodshed, no... no will I force my hand to bruise a deity's skin. She cursed me that til I let her go I will never pass... I won't let her go, even if she takes her life, I will bring her back, I make her into me! A lost soul wandering this planet, YES! if I make her agree with my love at the next moon I can... NO! Have I lost my mind! Her skin will fade, her bones will break, her voice will turn to whispers... it's not worth it I WONT EVER AGAIN! It happened once and I failed her but it another chance... I will get her back.

Back in this spooky ass house again. It's been a few days week even and I tried to get Fred to check it out but all he does is ignore me, in my room set up camera around the house and hook it too my computer so that I can catch this creep, it was late today 12:45 am it was thundering today, in my room I scroll on my phone with the tv on some movie, I felt a chill... the same chill. I get get up and back to my door looking around

" OK DAMMIT! SHOW YOUR DAMN SELF OR I'LL BREAK MY FOOT UP YA-"

" So violent my love~"

I look around til a feather of a hand touches my cheek, jerking away I turn too see a pale man... see through even with a evil smile and a a stature shaped from God

" Oh my..."

"Hello, my dearest, I hope your aren't too mad at me for our last encounter"

" Who are-"

" As your friend said, your boo~"

It seems you've pasted out, never the matter it will be best your out for the evening. So much to do with a the body you claimed now Melessa... Hello my beautiful baby~

A.N: ( Ouuu not me making a creepy character , i know yall thought I couldn't do huh! I just be writing too yall, I mean I started this at 6 sum and it's 10... like I said Im Shakesphere! But hope yall like this and it more to come from our ghost companion! LOve y'all! MWAHH)

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

LOVE - CHAPTER 7

After getting back together, Janelle finds out thats she’s pregnant. Follow along with Josh and Janelle as they deal with the highs and lows of her pregnancy.

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

Janelle is played by Justine Skye

Sequel to All I Need Is You: Read Here

Catch up on all other parts here

Janelle stood in the baby’s room hanging up all of the clothes they just had got him. All of the court stuff with Ximena had taken up so much of their time, they didn’t get a chance to have a baby shower. She was due next week and she just wanted to stay home and get the nursery ready for her son. 

She looked over at Josh as he came in the room and plopped down on the recliner with a huff. 

“You okay?” She asked and he nodded. 

“Yeah, just tired. Got the car seat in the car so we good on that.” She giggled at the lazy thumbs up he gave her. 

“Have you talked to Xavi yet?” 

“Yeah, he doesn’t want to see her. And I don't blame him.” 

“Josh-” 

“I’m not gonna force him Janelle. He might only be four but he’s very emotionally intelligent.” Janelle threw her head back with a laugh. 

“So you just gon take my words and throw them back at me.” Janelle sighed and placed the last onesie on the hanger before turning to Josh. “He is very emotionally intelligent but, you and I both know Ximena is not gonna give up unless she spends time with Xavi. And with this baby coming I don’t want or need anymore added stress.”  She sighed when he didn’t say anything. 

“Josh -” 

“We can’t keep calling him ‘the baby’. We need a name.”  Janelle sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, staring at him. “Nelle. Please.” When she didn’t stop staring he groaned. “I’m not forcing him Janelle. She scared the shit outta him by taking him and he doesn’t want to see her.” 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” She said walking over and sitting on his lap. “I just want things to go back to the way they were. You know, before she came back into the picture.” Josh sighed and nodded, placing his hand on her bump, smiling when his son started kicking where his hand was. 

“I want things to go back to normal too, but let's just not worry about her right now. Okay? We aint doing nothing wrong by not letting her see him.” She nodded and he placed a kiss on her lips. “Yeet-” 

“No. Do not” Josh let out a loud laugh at the scowl on her face. “ I hate that shit.” 

“Well get used to it. Cause imma do everything that I can to make that be his first word.” 

“Please,” She laughed. “I already gotta listen to you, Xavi, Jon and sometimes Trin say that stupid ass word. Ion want my baby saying that.” 

“Too late, ain't that right baby boy?” He said to her stomach. “You love when daddy says yeet!” Janelle rolled her eyes as the baby started to kick harder. 

Two days later Janelle was in the middle of making dinner when there was a knock at the door, followed by the doorbell ringing. She sighed and turned the burner on low before waddling over to the foyer. She groaned as she saw Ximena through the glass part of the front door. 

Rolling her eyes she walked over and opened the door. “Can I help you?” Ximena smirked and looked Janelle up and down, her eyes lingering on Janelle’s belly. “Hello..” Janelle snapped her fingers and Ximena scoffed, rolling her eyes. 

“I’m not a dog, don't snap at me.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I’m here to see Xavi.” Janelle tilted her head to the side and frowned. 

“Um, I wasn’t aware. Xavier had decided to see you.” Ximena rolled her eyes again. 

“You can’t expect a four year old to know what he wants. I’m his mother and I know what he wants and needs.” 

“You can’t be serious. I’ve been more of a mother to him. The only thing you did was push him out.” Ximena stepped closer to Janelle glaring at her. 

“If you weren’t pregnant I would’ve kicked you ass.” Janelle laughed again causing Ximena to shove her a little. Janelle’s dad, who had just come down the steps, witnessed this and rushed over to the two of them, pushing Janelle behind him. 

“Aye! You need to leave. What the hell is wrong with you?” Ximena ignored him, keeping her eyes on Janelle. 

“I’m going to see my son one way or another. ” She blew them a kiss. “See you soon.” 

“That bitch is fucking crazy!” Josh grunted over the phone. “Weird ass knew I wouldn’t be there.” 

“I just wish she would go away.” She sighed as she reclined on the bed, her feet propped up on some pillows. 

“Me too bae. Imma call the lawyer tomorrow, see what we can do. I already told her Xavi doesn’t want to see her.” 

“It’s basically harassment at this point.” She paused as she settled deeper onto the bed.  “How is Xavi? He okay at your moms?’ Josh nodded even though Janelle couldn’t see him. 

“Yeah, he wants to come home though. My mom is making him go to bed early.” Janelle laughed. 

“I want him home. I had to watch Minions  by myself tonight.”  Josh laughed. 

“Childish ass.” 

“You love me though.” 

Sorry its so short... not my best work, but the baby comes in the next chapter ❤️

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

I just accidentally went down a rabbit hole on this novel I'm writing and wrote an entire chat/thread log for a fake reddit post and unfortunately it's my favorite thing I've written in this whole thing so far

Re: My sister came back wrong

Burnr1883: Guys, I still think it might be possession. Mary’s eyes have been GLOWING. The first couple times I thought it was the light but it’s NOT.

Jamesand: why would that mean possession

Burnr1883: What else goes inside of a human body and shows in their EYES? They’re the window to the soul

Jamesand: mods can we get a reminder about religious talk

Thetruthis0utth3r3: it’s relevant if it really is possession tho

Jamesand: are you joking

Jamesand: this is a SERIOUS sub, guys

Jamesand: if you have actual evidence of possession, fine. but I doubt it

2themountains: you know they don’t have evidence, James.

2themountains: we all know what it really is, anyway.

Burnr1883: I’m looking at every possibility

Jamesand: true. he just doesn’t want to hear it

Jamesand: see you in a week to say I told you so

2themountains: if it’s not already in -your- head by then.

Re: My sister came back wrong

Jamesand: big if

thetruthis0utth3r3: any updates??

Burnr1883: nothing new, yet. She’s been... really normal? Really nice. Nicer than she used to be.

x3sycamore: well, that makes sense since it isn’t her right

Re: My sister came back wrong

Burnr1883: I guess.

Burnr1883: she was in my room last night.

Jamesand: ???????

st0pfrodotime: this sub is getting weird dude

2themountains: what was she doing?

Burnr1883: I don’t know. But I heard her come in.

Burnr1883: I mustve fallen asleep before she left, I don’t remember her walking back out

2themountains: and do you feel any different?

thetruthis0utth3r3: shit man what do you think she did to him?????

Burnr1883: No

Burnr1883: I don’t think so

Burnr1883: Should I? I feel... stupid. Why am I so scared that a 19 year old girl was in my room? I used to have to put bandaids on her because she was always falling over. Why should I be scared of THAT girl?

2themountains: because she’s not that girl anymore.

thetruthis0utth3r3: she isnt even human anymore

Burnr1883: she was just. standing there.

Jamesand: and you’re SURE this actually happened? this isn’t another lucid dreaming post, right??

x3sycamore: I thought this sub was about trusting each other’s stories, james

Jamesand: trust but verify.

Burnr1883: I’m pretty sure

Jamesand: PRETTY sure? 🙄

2themountains: what did you see?

Burnr1883: I barely opened my eyes. I was pretending I was asleep. But I saw a little. I saw her

Burnr1883: Her shadow. Her eyes.

Burnr1883: They were glowing again

Burnr1883: yellow

Burnr1883: so yellow

Burnr1883: I thought she was moonlight at first. It was a full moon

Burnr1883: and then I saw her open her mouth

2themountains: and her mouth?

st0pfrodotime: ???????

st0pfrodotime: WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO AFTER ALL THAT

Burnr1883: If I put my webcam on tonight

Burnr1883: would anyone watch the livestream?

Burnr1883: just... just in case

x3sycamore: shit man of course

Re: My sister came back wrong

Burnr1883: I think she might be an angel

Jamesand: mods.

x3sycamore: aint nothing angelic about those things, burner

Burnr1883: she’s just like Mary, but better

Burnr1883: she used to be so angry

2themountains: don’t trust anything that won’t let you see it get angry.

Burnr1883: it’s like she’s been cleansed

Thetruthis0utth3r3: or like she’s lying to you

x3sycamore: turn on your webcam again tonight

x3sycamore: we’ll watch you

Burnr1883: you don’t need to do that anymore

Jamesand: sycamore, you’re not allowed to ask for pictures or footage

x3sycamore: fuck man can’t you ease off the rules for two seconds no one’s asking for nudes or face pics im trynna keep a man alive

Burnr1883: she won’t hurt me

x3sycamore: burner that thing is NOT your sister

Burnr1883: she’s perfect

thetruthis0utth3r3: yeah, like only an anglerfish is perfect to the thing that needs light

x3sycamore: don’t let the parasite trick you, man, you’ve read everything on the forums you know better than this

x3sycamore: Burner????

x3sycamore: @Burnr1883

x3sycmore: @Burnr1883 @Burnr1883 

2themountains: he’s gone.

Re: My sister came back wrong

2themountains: let him go.

x3sycamore: Burner? Any updates??

thetruthis0utth3r3: you dont actually expect him to answer do you

thetrutis0utth3r3: it’s been 2 days already

x3syacmore: 2 days is nothing. He could have logged off.

thetruthis0utth3r3: it’s not nothing when you’re living with one of them

x3sycamore: he didn’t leave the sub

thetruthis0utth3r3: yeah well that’s not usually dead people’s priority

x3sycamore: what are you trying to say

thetruthis0utth3r3: come on, don’t play dumb

Jamesand: some people just don’t want to hear the truth

2themountains: soon, no one’s gonna be able to play dumb

thtruthis0utth3r3: they’re really coming, aren’t they

Jamesand: they’re here

2themountains: this sub is growing. the news is finally starting to talk all about those mysterious “disappearances” and “sicknesses”

2themountains: forget about Burner. worry about who it’s gonna be next.

x3sycamore: Burner?

Re: My sister came back wrong

x3sycamore: any updates, buddy?

x3sycamore: burner?

[raveneira]

hola amiga.

que piensas del arem de Boruto.? Confirmamos ya que mitzuki está enamorado de el sol. Hacia donde navegará el barco en la final?

We're definitely seeing BoruMitsu pretty much confirmed to be at the very least semi canon, its ironic that the anime put all that needless time and effort into the Mitsuki disappearance arc only for it to mean nothing in the manga because Mitsuki is actually going through that exact arc in the manga right now, meaning that anime arc was a complete waste of time and totally irrelevant now, and now it'll have to be retconned in the anime because Mitsuki is supposed to of had this development already, so my guess is their either gonna retcon it and pretend it never happened or their gonna change this situation entirely to fit the anime timeline they set where Mitsuki is actually already sure what his feelings are and what the sun is for him, the only thing left for him to realize anime wise would be his romantic feelings, but in the manga he still doesnt even understand his own identity or what the sun even is to him and is only just now starting to finally address and confront it and do some soul searching.

So where do I see things headed? well first is started here in 69 where Mitsuki first mentions ones true feelings being hard to tell, many thought he was speaking about Sarada, but he was really talking about himself and questioning what his own true feelings are, this is why he asked Sarada about hers to try and figure his out through her, but when she denied it that left him still confused about himself, which is why he stayed silent when Sarada mentioned his eyes lighting up whenever it comes to Boruto, because he himself was unsure of his true feelings.

In 88 Mitsuki is now starting to come to that realization he was lacking before, he hasnt gotten the answer yet, but he is finally willing to question what he's been ignoring all this time, after meeting Boruto again 3 years later, Mitsuki is realizing who his sun is and what the sun truly means to him. He pretty much confirmed hes inlove with Boruto in his conversation with Ada, but HE hasnt figured that out yet, we the audience have, but Mitsuki hasnt yet.

So 69 laid the groundwork for Mitsuki not knowing his own true feelings, 88 laid the groundwork for Mitsuki starting to understand what his true feelings are, now all thats left is for Mitsuki to finally put all the pieces together and realize he loves Boruto.

Now I cant speak too much on Boruto's behalf just yet but what I can say is Boruto reciprocating Mitsuki's affections as much as he does says alot, you see the stark contrast between how Kawaki treats him and Boruto.

Boruto could've easily rejected Mitsuki's whole sun and moon obsession with him, he didnt have to accept Mitsuki at all, yet he not only embraced Mitsuki, but those titles too. He tells Mitsuki that he is his sun, he could've just said he's his friend or hes really the Hokage's son, but no, he specifically tells Mitsuki that he's his sun, that he knows he realized long ago that Kawaki isnt his sun, that Kawaki cant illuminate him no matter how close he sticks to him.

Not only that, but he tells him that he believes he can shine just fine on his own, but if he insists on needing a sun then to come find him anytime. That is pretty clear and strong reciprocation, not saying its proof Boruto likes Mitsuki romantically, but it does imply that hes not particularly opposed to it either.

He respects Mitsuki, cares for Mitsuki, wants to protect Mitsuki, doesnt mind Mitsuki hanging around or sticking close to him, doesnt mind being the sun to his moon, is willing to be Mitsuki's light even though he thinks he shines just fine on his own, he's willing to be that for him anyway if thats what HE wants

Yea, I aint sayin its definitive, but there is some really strong implications there that cannot be ignored.

Kodachi did say in an old interview before he stepped down as writer than he doesnt mind including LGBTQ characters and that for him he doesnt feel like it has to be something heavily focused on but just be a natural progression where its not in your face but you still get the picture, which I believe might end up bein the case for BoruMitsu, even if they arent canon in the end, at the very least their feelings will be.

[not-a-big-slay]

Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x fem!reader

summary:betrayal leaves some wounds behind, but even more questions when you can't figured out from whom it really came from.

warnings: violence, cursing

type: fluff

part: 12/13

previous part: part 11 masterlist

a/n: please, please, PLEASEEUHH im SO SO SORRY! it has been almost a FUCKING YEAR SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER?! HELLO?! WHO TF DO I THINK I AM? i need to keep myself in line cuz this aint normal! i have been hiatus for soo long i need to pull it together. anywayy, its finished finally. its long ahh hell and im gonna be working on another part immediately so it wont be another 50 years dw. dont mind any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and i have written one half of this in 2023, so i really dont feel like redoing it lol. i dare you if you can recognize where exactly i picked this draft up again. anyway, pleasee enjoy!!

also, sike, its not the last part hehe, there will be part 13 AND an epilogue

taglist (hi yall :'))

@chickencouncilrep

@venomsvl

@happy-nico

@twlegit

@ravenmedows

@blathena

‎

She had lost again.

That would be the third time tonight. Her change was getting thin and she predicted it would take one more game before she had to go kill someone for free again. So much for making a ton of money with this job. The girl watched her opponent spoon the coins from the table with one hand, laughing: "One more game and I'll have to dig up another grave, Y/N." Others laughed, so she wasn't the only one thinking that after all. It was logical, she really had to stop playing with grown men, they wasted away their old nights playing poker at this very table and she had other, young people things to do. It would be wise to get up and leave, no one would judge her for that. They would maybe even cheer her on, finally making a rational decision, no one ever seen that before when it came to her. Yet the thought of doing so was being blocked by a high indestructable wall, one that never goes away and will only be built higher.

If she does leave, she has to go home.

Her mother is probably fast asleep already, it is possible she could go to bed unnoticed and leave early in the morning. This option she used very little as Y/N never wanted to come back there. A year ago, after her mother left her blood soak through the wooden floor, Y/N made promise into her scars that she will never lay eyes on mother again. She successed in that for a year so far, becoming a hitman that was quite infamous in town. But her fame started growing from mockery, as she was really addicted to poker.

Her eyes gazed on Tim, the cemetary worker, the buryer as she liked to call him. He was one of the granpas at this table, but one of the peaceful people in town. He never wanted her to kill, just to help him with his work, although Y/N hated it more than the murders, she didn't like the aftermath of her work. Tim, being satisfied, started organizing the coins on the table. No, she cannot go home tonight.

"So what's it gonna be, kid?" asked the other player, Miyka. Her green eyes stared on Y/N's face, her wrinkles scrunched in excitment. Oh, how she hated all of them. The girl faked thinking about it before tossing dramatically her last money onto the table. "I bet 20." It didn't sound as good when she started that low, but it was all she had left. Intstead of the usual giggle and witty lines and jokes they threw her way before following up on her bad choices, they sighed, almost in dissapointment. It frustrated her, it seemed like they cared what she does instead of what amount of money she holds. It seemed like they cared about her. A wave of fear pushed her like a tsunami at this thought. People that cared ended up hating her, hurting her.

"What!" she snapped. Miyka looked at Lios, her brother, in concern, while Tim silently reorganized his coins. She looked around the table, frown getting deeper and frustration blooming wider. What was wrong with them. "Well, Y/N" Lios began, "We are just kinda...worried about you. That's all." Miyka took the word next- her previous question has been an obvious tease, the girl was dissapointed. "You clearly have nowhere to go, so you are spending your time here which is.... we get it, but." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "It's not good." Tim helped her and smiled at Y/N as if it would calm her. It did not in fact, she felt more and more anxious about their care, anxious situations made her angry. She wondered why she didn't kill them all instead of those free targets, she would never have to pay another debt again, because there would be no poker players left to play and her addiction would dissapear. "So that's it, huh? You ain't gonna play because you are scared I could actually win?" she said in her defense. Nonsense, she knew, but her heart was sweating and she was glad it didn't blow up yet. "We just care, Y/N, that-"

"Care?! Remind me Lios of just how many people I killed for you, then talk about caring for someone's life!" she spat as she stood up. Lios was more than content to her way of paying, she had no idea why he apparently cared when he could have another enemy at his feet if he just played one more game. Miyka tried to calm her down, touching her hand softly only for Y/N to flinch, hard. Her vision began to blur, the floor shook beneath her and sweat poured on her face. It was like the room was on fire, but she was the only one feeling it. Other people at the pub, being entertainted by the game or simply just hanging ot there, looked worried, some even disturbed by her behaviour.

What was happening to her?

She leaned on the table with her palms, the wood trying to ground her as she closed her eyes to not feel theirs. Voices of the players echoed her head as sounds in a cave and they felt distant, but still could make her more nervous with their caring attitude. They soon fell in whispers, driving her insane. Then, she caught one voice that silenced all the muttering, it was clear, quiet yet she felt as if its breath was in her ear. "Why play, when you can take a life for the exact amount of money laying on this table?"

She recognized the voice, it belong to the fourth player, Haltt. His voice was known only in the game. Hearing him say a sentence was unusual and therefore very powerful. It was deep, low, hard. It had authority and respect and it didn't need to ask for it. He had everyone's attention, he controlled the room with only his silent voice.

Y/N's eyes looked into his dark ones, she had to find them in the shadows floating around him, as if he commanded to them as well. "What are you saying?" she asked carefully, not knowing why. Haltt observed the table, his salt-and-pepper- although more salt than pepper- short beard surrounding his mouth as it counted the cash, then let out a little chuckle that brought goosebumps to everyone close to him. "920 Neredi. Being a hitman, a respectful hitman, would make this amount your pocket change." He grabbed the rest of her money she threw on the table and looked over to Tim. The buryer shook his head hesitantly, knowing what Haltt wants to do, but all it took was the man's neutral gaze for Tim to fold. Y/N watched him slowly scooping the money and anger took over. She pinned his hand to the table, not looking away from his face. She could hear people drawing breaths in fear, but she was free from all the anxiety now, she was grounded by his scary presence, she liked it even.

Haltt's head slowly turned to her direction, his eyes creating a straight path to hers, his eyebrows climbing up as he said softly: " You want this?" When she didn't respond, he stood up, took her hand off of his gently, not letting go as his freed hand reached behind his back, pulling out a gun. She observed quickly, it was an older model, it was small and only one bullet fit into it- however she knew a man like Haltt would only ever need one bullet- he then rotated her hand and placed it in her palm. He released her only when she seized it. Y/N let her hand warm the handle before looking up at Haltt again. "Then go make it." he finished his statement and sat back down in the shadows. Y/N checked the inside of the gun and she confirmed her knowledge about it.

She scoffed. "One bullet" Haltt nodded as if he answered to her statement. "That's all you need, I know your skills." his glass clincked when his rings touched it, raising it to his lips. She waited until he drank the remainings of his whiskey, having the suspision he might continue. "You kill the target, you'll get double of this." Her surprise was voiced by everyone around her, gasping and unbelievably whispering. Lios looked at Haltt, telling him he cannot do this. But Haltt only looked at her. "No one here wants you to play. You made them care, something a hitman shouldn't do." She squeezed her free hand into a fist, knowing his eyes are reading her like cards on the table. He leaned in: "Take your reputation back, make them fear you instead." he said quietly and it seemed only she heard it. He retreated back into his seat, letting her simmer in his words.

She knew people stopped perceiving her as a threat, a force to be reckon with, a fearful killer, and started to look at her as a 15 year old that sometimes threw tantrums. People smiled at her, old men laughed at her when they drank beer at the bar, as if she was their granddaughter doing silly things. Once, she was feared, but now she behaved like an old woman trapped inside a teenage body with gambling addiction and alcoholism. Everyone treated her as a kid she never was, but Haltt seemed to remember who she was 6 months ago, to trust her potential, her skills she never lost, but used them to not drown in debts, not to her job. She suddenly became so connected to him, she was hypnotized. The sound of the chatty room blurred again as she explored the gray ocean behind Haltt's eyes. He let her, grinning as he watched her back straighten and her nose breathing in deeply. Then came the question:

"Who is the target?"

Halt's smile stabbed through his cheeks as he answered.

-----------------------------------------------

Inej didn't allow herself a break until she got the that exact building Y/N told her to. She was nervous to say the least. If everything goes right, Pekka Rollins will be dead. It was unbelievable to even think about. The moonlight caressed her back and the salty wind danced around her in excitment. Ketterdam is cheering for them, it will be better off without Rollins. She thought of ways how to carve his heart out, she wanted to make a heart-shaped hole, but it was too complicated making the curves, it would take too long and she didn't want him to die before she was finished. She needed something quick, but symbolic. After all, when the stadwatch will find his body, her work should be admired. Or Deln's work, she hated he will take credit for it, but it's definitely for the best.

Soon, the spider heard two sets of footsteps beneath her. She looked down carefully, confirming it's Y/N. In the dark, she couldn't much see her 'friend', but she could feel the disgust and fear Y/N had from above, suspecting he might not be an actual friend after all. Another secret of hers she wished to uncover after this is over. The way Jesper talked about this girl is riling up an interest in her. She wanted to get to know her better, her fate might not much differ from her own and she would like to hear her story, she would like to see why Kaz seemed to hate her so much. She also hoped Y/N will stay with them after this. For Jesper's sake and maybe for Nina's nerves as she looked worried about her.

As Y/N dissapeared into the alley, Inej grabbed her knife, Sankt Petyr, that she sharpened moments before. The wind picked up and she stood motionlessly at the edge of the building. She watched lightened windows in the Smeet Residence, hoping no one will think about looking outside tonight. The house reminded her of one she encountered at the southern colonies of Novyi Zem. It was in a horrible shape compared to this, but it was a haven for the citizens there, they admired it like people in Ketterdam admire The Exchange. It was luxurious given the state of the land.

Her train of thought stopped before it reached a station, because her ears picked up a subtle voice, then a laugh. The sounds got louder as they slowly approached her. Rollins must be pretty nervous of the meet-up if he talked to himself, or he was not alone. A slight panic rose in Inej's chest and she prepared to make the uninvited dissapear. If Rollins truly had some company, she would have to wait until he saw Y/N to take it out, otherwise he might see her and change his mind. If we won't do it, somebody else will brought out fire in her stomach. The girl was right, if they won't try the lovely dessert of revenge, others might eat it whole with no crumbs left. She suspected Pekka is the main character in many unfinished death threats and planned out vengeances.

The Wraith took a deep breath as her eyes closed, slowing down her rapid heartbeat filled with excitment. When she opened them, the bright windows from the residence, along with the dimmed lights on the streets aluminated two beings walking. One was definitely the leader of one of the most dangerous gangs in Ketterdam.

And so was the other one.

She silently gasped, panicking again, her heartbeat picking up. What the fuck is Kaz doing here? And why was he bent over with Rollins' hand around his neck. Even though they were right across her, Inej was oblivious to their conversation- well, monologue if she was more accurate- because she was way too busy feeling the plan fall apart. This wasn't supposed to happen, Kaz was meant to know nothing and then just cheer and celebrate once they'd be done. Why did he always took matters into his hands?.

When she came back to reality, they were almost in the alleyway. The spider quickly followed them, never taking her eyes off of Kaz's helpless form. Her hands always gently grazed any surface she incountered, her feet always landing on the tips of her toes, her moves inspiring every ballerina in Kerch, yet now her hands were sliding off roughly and she had to bent her knees to make the landing silent. Her fear of her friend manipulated her body and she almost fell over the edge when the sharp turn of the building made an appearance, luckily she awokened from the feeling and stopped herself.

She was above the meeting place now.

On her right was Y/N with the strange man. Y/N was anxiously pacing around, obviously worried as they all were, even the man next to her who stood still as a pole was taking almost unseeable shuttered breaths. When the girl faced her direction, Inej wanted to warn her of the unexpected turn of events, but she wouldn't be seen anyway. As it turned out though, she also wouldn't have the time to catch her attention in time as the target slowly showed up on her left side, Kaz still in his grasp. Up close she could see the knife he held to his neck, already cut into the flesh. The man on her right stopped breathing and tried to hide his widened eyes, Rollins smirked as he saw him, shaking his head in disbelief. But the tension really sparked up when Y/N finally saw them, her eyes instantly digging into Kaz, while his were already screaming at her. Only two words bound them all together as they appeared on every present mind.

Oh fuck.

---------------------------------------------

Silence started perhaps being uncomfortable for Deln, yet Y/N only cared about the boy 5 meters in front of her. He wore blood, a lot of blood. His face showed bruises for every Barrel rat and every drop of blood that fell next to his feet tore a piece of her heart. But the worst thing was his expression, it was no longer hateful, nor angry. His eyes sinked into her and they washed her with almost a relief-like feeling, like he was happy to see her, or maybe upset to see her here, in a dangerous street that will be painted red by more than one person. His gaze was soft, almost pleading her to either run away or get closer to him.

He was worried.

"I told you to come alone if my memory is still serving right." Deln began the conversation, dragging both of their attention to him. He earned a chuckle from Rollins and a response as he squeezed Kaz's neck, straightening him up: "Well, I thought I might get the lovebirds back together, eh?" The knife retreated back to his pocket, revealing a red line on the boy's neck. Y/N allowed herself to let one tear roll down her cheek as an apology to him. Pekka must have kidnapped him, because there was no other explanation on why was he present. Deln was confused, he didn't know Dirtyhands as far as she knew, nor about her time with Hertzoon. "Aw, look at 'em, already pining for each other." Rollins mocked and pushed Kaz off of his hand. Y/N had a hard time keeping it together.

Deln sighed annoyingly and the hitman was glad he kept the plan on track. It was hard to admit he was actually a big help to her. "Whatever, let's talk business shall we? It's cold tonight. Don't wanna be out late." he said offered and Rollins laughed in his face again: "What, gotta read the slaves a goodnight story?" If she wasn't still in shock from Kaz, the plan would skip to the killing part very quickly. "Well, not anymore since you took 'em all away, didn't you." the slaver stated and wiped the smile off of Pekka's face quickly. Y/N had to admit he played the role she made for him perfectly and let the conversation rest in his hands, as she continued to worry silently about the bloodied boy.

The Dime Lions' leader seemed to get upset about Deln's forwardness, he probably thought he could talk his way out of it with his disturbing charm. He put his hands on his hips and shrugged. "It ain't my problem you keep 'em in a dirty warehouse. I offered them a room with a comfortable bed and good money if they were willing to smile. That ain't no crime, lad."

"I'm not interested in your architectural opinion on my slave-keeping. I am upset you stole my property." Y/N was very invested in the conversation she almost forgot her role was against Deln. Her tied hands turned him to her side by the shoulder and pierced him with her eyes. "Don't speak of them like that." she warned and he simpy scoffed her off. It wasn't much, she must admit, but it was enough to voice her stand in this matter. "HA! And what do you think you'll be after we're done here? You will be lucky if I allow you to work in my brothel." the last sentence was a warning, he could be so much cruel to her, like he was in his house. She was present finally, all worry stepped aside to make space for the anger she held and the focus she held earlier tonight sat back down on her mind.

"You won't touch her."

Ready to speak, Y/N was taken aback by his raspy voice with scary undertone. He spoke to her like that, not long ago. It was almost unreal he was defending her. As much as it brought shivers down her body, Rollins was unfazed by the threat. "You can barely stand, boy. What can you possibly do to me." he stated the obvious and continued once he looked her way again. "Besides, she really isn't worthy of your protection." He put one foot in front of the other slowly, walking over to her. She was on alert, if she had the opportunity, she wouldn't wait anymore and strangle him with her tired hands and her desire to dig his grave. He stopped few steps from her and reached into his pocket again, pulling out something else than a knife this time. "Lost this?"

A thin, almost not visible in the dark, black string was held between his fingers. The bracelet she lost. The one Kaz gave her on the last day they saw each other. She lost it in Rollins' office. Her temptation to reach for it was unseen by Y/N as her first instinct was to look at Kaz, who also drowned in the vision of the string. She broke her promise, a childish one, sure, but it destroyed her still. It always served as a reminder of her failure. How she failed to warn him and Jordie, how she wrapped his heart around her finger without knowing it and allowed Hertzoon to shatter it. The girl promised herself to not mess up this promise, at least one thing she could keep. In the end, she lost it too.

How does she deserve to live after destroying all good in her life?

"Yeah, cruel isn't she? Do you really think she cares about you, or anyone for that matter?" he talked to Kaz that was still mesmerized by the sight in Rollins' hand. Deln was silently watching the scene, the situation out of his hands now, the plan off of track. "You don't know anything about her, boy-". " You're wrong." she interrupted him. He turned to her, waiting to elaborate, the string still lifted between his fingers as if he was trying to hypnotize them. "I told him everything." Y/N continued as she silently wished with the last bit of hope he would take the bait. He didn't:

"Everything, eh?" he echoed as he turned his back on her and focused on Kaz fully. As he reached his personal space, his hand streched to him, giving him the bracelet. The boy fixated on it, swaying with the wind due to his trouble standing on the one good leg for this long. Rollins watched him closely, feeling Kaz's hand taking it almost immediately. When his coffee-like eyes reached his snake ones, Pekka uncovered Y/N's lie:

"Do you remember Ms. Hertzoon?"

---------------------------------------------------------

"...You what?"

"Don't you dare be offended, you manipulated her and then left us. You're as bad as I am."

That made them punch her strongly in the stomach. Funny, Rollins wanted to watch her suffer, but was too lazy to torture her himself. They were on this for 2 hours now, or she at least thought so, she couldn't tell if the ringing was only in her ears. Rollins had her sit on a chair and then asked questions. The first were stupid and simple, almost like a small talk: Did she rob him, why is she back, when did she get back, etc. She earned 5 different punches in this round. Then the latter began. They wanted to know what happened after the con trick- as he called it- which resulted in her split lip and first blood drawn. Then another small talk, remembering all their time together and then, the truth. "Where is your mother?" it began and ended in countless of other painful things she couldn't be bothered to remember.

"How." he almost whispered, it was so dramatic that Y/N would laugh if she wasn't wheezing with every breath. "Oh, please. Like you care." she fully expected the hit for that one, though it still hurt like hell. "How!" he ordered her and watched her grow a grin with her painted-red mouth. She could still feel the little gun in her little hand, standing at the foot of her mother's bed. She watched her sleep for a moment before she truly aimed. Haltt was right, it did get back her reputation. He gave her the money and she counted every single coin to make sure it really was doubled. Fortunately, he was an honest man.

"One bullet was all it took."

To say she regretted it would be a lie, the biggest one in history maybe. She second-guessed it on her way home, sure, but she more doubted Haltt's promise than her actions. However, once she really saw her mother's chest rise and fall, nothing was easier than to pull the trigger. If she was a monster in her eyes, she would become one in her memory.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" was the last thing she heard from him, then her ears were filled with ringing and also pain when her nerves couldn't take it anymore. Everything went dark after a while, she was sure she couldn't breath and her eyes zipped themselves tightly, but even though she lost consciousness, she was sure she never stopped smiling while it lasted.

-----------------------------------------------

He always suspected some part of her story was left out, it would be unwise to tell him everything and she was not stupid. While Kaz did predict that something happened with the mother, he didn't expect this. He answered her eyes as they asked for connection and tried to assure them of his unchanged opinion. So what? He also done horrible things, they all have, especially Rollins. Such a hypocrite, that man. When he finished re-telling the story of Y/N's torture, he retreated from the boy's space, fortunately for him, because Kaz would have no hesitation in twisting Pekka's neck. Everything was silent for a while, the wind whispered cold around them as they all studied each other. Kaz looked at the building's roof next to them, seeing only darkness, but feeling her presence. He hoped that whatever Y/N planned to do with Inej would be useful. And what did he know, maybe this situation is going extremely well for them.

"Well, that is truly shocking, but unfortunetely, Y/N's dead mom won't solve this conflict. So let's solve it ourselves, shall we?" The slaver spoke and grabbed the girl next to him by the bicep, dragging her with him closer to Rollins. Kaz took a small, unnecessary step forward as a move to help her. Seeing Deln's hand on her made the water rise around him, he could feel her discomfort and felt it himself. They stopped and he threw the girl in front of him lightly, so she wouldn't fall, but aggressively enough, so she would sway. "Pay me for the slaves and she's yours, as promised." the boy's fist turned white at that, wishing he could hang Deln's organs at the lamppost. "Hmmm" groaned Rollins in thinking. "How much do ya want?"

"3000 kruge."

"Pardon?"

Deln rolled his eyes. "It was 100 slaves you stole from me, every slave is expensive and believe me, I'm giving you a discount right now." Rollins nodded at his explanation. At this point, Kaz thought about getting out of there. He was being ignored and would be forgotten in a while. Rollins couldn't see him, Deln could, but he doubted he would care. However, she could too, and his heart radiated an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of dissapearing without Y/N. If this situation happened with anyone else, he'd be already at the Slat, drinking shots and drowning in silence of his room. Dirtyhands planned the escape, Kaz refused to go through with it. He refused to leave her. "Alright, alright. How about this." Rollins spoke his thoughts. "I'll give you half of what they make me from now on and if you ever wander in the Sweet Shop, you won't have to pay." Deln was silent, but he was clearly concidering it.

"Huh? Sounds good?" Smiling Pekka streched out his hand and waited for a handshake. Every set of eyes watched Deln's movement, from his step closer, closer to Rollins, closer to Y/N, until he squeezed Pekka's hand, reflecting his expression. "That's a deal, then." said the robber. "Deal." said the slaver. Kaz didn't know what that meant and from the girl's face, he could tell the confusion was shared. Although, he truly realized this wasn't part of their plan after Deln quickly reached for Y/N's belt with the same hand that just closed a deal, pulling out a small gun, one that could barely fit a bullet, and aiming it at the hitman. She was frightened, taking steps back, but she didn't got very far when Deln grabbed her by the collar, holding her close to his body.

"Like mother like daughter."

He was instantly on the move, as fast as he could, trying to prevent what was about to happen. The bullet was faster though. Before hearing the gunshot, they heard Deln's scream. Y/N felt to the ground and Kaz was at her side immediately. His eyes panicking, trying to find the wound while his heart sounded the alarms and awakened fear. Not like this. He couldn't lose her like this. He soon found the gunshot and without thinking threw his hands to press it down. They never made contact with it, Rollins' knife already found its way back to his neck, pulling him away from her. "You didn't think I forgot about you, did ya?" he laughed in his ear before Kaz threw his head back, hitting him in the nose. The grip got loose and he turned around, sending his anger and frustration in his fist. Rollins tumbled and he kicked him on the ground, getting him closer to the place he belongs.

Deln moaned in pain and the boy finally saw the reason. Below his bent over form, a puddle of blood formed and in it swam his thumb, right above Sankt Petyr. The corners of his mouth lifted a bit, he couldn't remember how did he survive all this time without Inej watching over him and the crows, it made him grateful she is back for now. His eyes were set to find Y/N again, but he only saw a red trace from where she laid. She must've gotten away. Good girl.

He couldn't follow her steps, because Rollins already got up from the cobblestones, ready to strike. He breathed heavily, supporting the place Kaz kicked him in with his hand. He couldn't understand why Rollins always came back into his life. He tried to avoid him all his time in Ketterdam, yet life always brought them together. Or death, he wasn't sure, maybe they were destined to destroy each other. Pekka Rollins was like a mosquito bite: itching to be noticed and when Kaz does so, he feels a brief satisfaction before the itch comes back and is worse than before. He was also as annoying. It needed to be finished right here and tonight

The boy braced himself and waited on the mosquito's move, straightening himself. Little did he know, the shadow from above already closed in on the man. Kaz watched as she kicked his knee from the back and caught his hair, stopping him from falling fully on the ground again. Sankta Lizabeta could be soon visible above his heart, the tip waiting to be pushed in. Only then, Dirtyhands quietly sighed in relief.

"He still can't do it without ya, huh? Tell me boy, when will you start being a man and do things on your own?" Rollins mocked them as he recognized the face, which currently held the future of his heartbeat. Kaz limped slowly closer, feeling Inej's eyes on him. He lowered his head once he entered Pekka's personal space dangerously deep. "When my brother will get his revenge in hell."

As soon as the menacing words reached Rollins, his lips twitched up at the sight of Sankta Lizabeta slowly painting an imaginery outline of the man's heart, being applauded by his blood-curling scream. Inej wasn't the one for torture, but he could see the bit of joy in her eyes and the relief on her face. She deserved to be the one that would free Ketterdam from this parasite and he let her have it, already searching for the bloody trail Y/N left behind.

His eyes alerted him when they caught it and he began to follow the path, slowly, limping as Deln's whines cheered him on.

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The stars were with her, sometimes changing their position or widening in her eyes as they waited to claim her. Salty waterdrops tapped her tired legs, reminding her of where she sat. She imagined death many times, it wasn't unusual for someone in her profession. She remembered Tim talking about the peace that comes with it, saying it is kind, so it would be easier for the soul to leave the body. For her, it was obvious. Everything would be kinder than life. However, nothing could prepare her for the last moments. Y/N realized that no matter how much you imagine it, it will always surprise you. The knowing that this is the last time she is going to exist in wasn't something her brain could comprehend. Maybe that was the mystery death held, that was the fuel for the fear in others, not understanding until it was too late.

Wind played softly with her hair while it kissed the bruises of her now untied hands, and she tried hard to feel everything at the same time. The clothes touching her skin, the numbness in her feet, her shaky breath as it entered and left her system, but mostly, she tried to memorize the pain in her stomache and the bullet inside her body. It was an intense feeling, so she wanted to feel it as much as possible, before it would fade and with it her heart.

The hitman got hit.

This is how her victims probably felt. She brought this feeling to numerous lives. Her mother felt this way too. Y/N couldn't decide if dying felt good or disgusting, but she could be certain it was lonely. Even if people surrounded her, it wouldn't be better. It was an experience for her soul, no one from the outside could empathize.

She wondered where her grave would lay as the slow footsteps got closer. Y/N heard him limp next to her and it seemed like the stars noticed him too, because they stopped moving once he sat down, as though they only wanted to be seen by her. He was visibly tired, still bleeding from his neck.

Maybe he was feeling the final presence too.

Maybe her starts would take them both.

Silence and the waves crashing made the space between them comfortable, maybe too comfortable for her liking. His breath was disrupting hers as it naturally tried to match the rhythm. The moment became so peaceful, she almost forgot about their history. It felt like nothing happened between them, they were just kids, sitting by the port, watching stars and listening to the ocean. They weren't Dirtyhands and Saskia. They weren't the Bastard of the Barell and Snowflake.

They were Y/N and Kaz. As they were always meant to be.

"Do you believe in faith?"

It felt like yesterday since he asked her that question. Every shared memory of them felt so close to her now, as if time was all messed up. Maybe death was already doing its job. Kaz was taking his time with the answer, breathing heavily, as if the air had to fill his words first before she could hear them.

"Yes...I do."

He exhaled, his low empty voice responding. Her lips lifted into a messy smile, her muscles were losing their power all over her body, but that didn't stop her from reaching into her coat and pulling out a folded, bloodied paper that her fingers swiftly grabbed from her slaver's back pocket before he could shoot her. It was almost bizzare, how a small, easily rippable piece made her revisit the demons of the past. She wondered if Deln wanted this all along. Maybe he wanted Rollins to kill her, so he could make his deal with him. Or maybe it was just faith, wanting to see how far she would go for a false sense of freedom.

"It doesn't mean anything." Y/N stated as she felt Kaz looking at the release paper. "I just needed proof that I'm not under anyone's influence anymore, but..." her eyes followed the ongoing waves. They looked like on a leash, as if someone released them, so they could explode onto the harbor's walls, only to pull them back again shortly after, reminding them they were still being controlled. It seemed torturous, humiliating. It looked like her. "...I will never be free of him."

Y/N couldn't look at the boy, even if his burning gaze could only be extinguished by an eye contact. He was right, she was a monster. She could see it now and she wouldn't hide from this fact. She would accept herself before her heart would stop singing. It was the least she could do with the very limited time, coming to terms with her own self.

The stars started moving again slowly as Kaz spoke: "He can't control you anymore..." His tone showed certainty. Inej had to claim her souvenir of revenge by now, but he still managed to squeeze out a scoff from the hitman. She couldn't believe he allowed himself to be so naïve. Rainbow won't repair the damage done by storm, same as killing Pekka Rollins won't erase his actions and the following conciquences. His influence made her do things beyond his leadership. It scarred her for life, and those scars bled onto others without the possibility to heal. She bled on him too. She killed his brother for fuck's sake.

"The things he caused precedes him." Y/N finally looked at Kaz, his eyes seemed to be glowing in her hallucinating mind. "I can't be changed." She whispered, knowing he would hear every single letter. The moon illuminated him perfectly. His features casted a soft look under its light and Y/N was glad this would be the appearence of him she would take to her grave. She was happy to become one of the stars that would continue to shine on him.

Suddenly, death seemed very pretty.

The girl saw his hand on hers before she could feel it. It was weirdly warm, even though he barely touched her. His eyes demanded her ears' attention as he spoke, slowly, so she could feel the words. "You don't need to be changed."

Her mind was confused. How could he even speak such things?

"I am a killer." she reminded him.

"Not by choice." he argued.

"I killed my own mother and enjoyed it." she was restless in making him hate her.

"Your mother's conciquences of her own actions." he dodged her attempt.

"I killed your brother." was when she knew she would win. It wasn't excusable. Nothing could possibly erase this from Kaz's mind, no apology was enough, she was certain. That was the reason she couldn't understand why Kaz's hand began to hold hers more tightly as his eyes studied the wound in her stomache, covered by her arm that desperately tried to prevent the blood from pouring out, but it became more and more hopeless. "You're dying and not doing anything about it." he aknowleged. Y/N smiled briefly, from pain and also from his slow understanding of her plan.

"I deserve it." she spoke weakly, every word felt heavy on her tongue and she was about to give in to their weight. He only observed her, as her body was slowly losing the ability to move, as her energy was being sipped by the waves below. It suddenly felt a bit scary for her, she was in the process of dying and it strangely ignited the last bit of her will to live.

Kaz did nothing, he only asked: "Why?" She looked at him, her eyes shooting fear. She guessed she would engage with every emotion before turning off. Maybe the nature granted this privilege to every person, so they would get to have the proper goodbye to their body.

"I never done anything good, I only brought pain." her lips responded, making Kaz nod slowly. Y/N gasped softly as the fear intensified. This feeling was unlike any before, like her life was slowly slipping through her body, through the wound. Her arm pressed tightly, as much as she could to slow down the inevitable, but it was too late. "Maybe it's time to change that." Kaz spoke. She wouldn't be able to change her ways if she died, the only thing she would remember about this life was how she made it difficult for everyone else.

Y/N sighed, death was almost touching her, heart was losing its music. She no longer felt the waterdrops on her legs and the stars dimmed their light. "It's too late."

The port beneath her began to sway, as if it would tip over to the ocean anytime. She gripped the concrete edge, slipping her hand from Kaz's to do so, trying to stop it from moving, only for it to sway more. She picked her eyes up at the sky, seeing only her five stars in the black treacle sky, as her body pushed closer to the waves.

Death awaited her.

Like those waves, Y/N was suddenly pulled back by someone's hands, feeling her body lift up from the port, supported in the air. Her form bounced with every other step and another warm breath kept mixing with hers. She imagined those arms were of an angel, bringing her to heaven. Or a devil, bringing her to hell. She gave into its touch nonetheless.

"I know you're not very good at keeping them, but would you promise me one last thing?" a voice asked her, a low and a tired one. One that could only belong to an angel the way it kept her dying heart beating. The girl could only hum, agreeing to the angel's request. The voice sounded serious, threatening almost, but she could hear the worry hidden behind it, as it spoke.

"Don't make me lose you."

---------------------------------------------------

Nina whined, having trouble with breathing as her hands shook from the need to be put down. She saved the Dregs numerous times from a certain death, yet Y/N exceeded her expectations. The heartender tried her very best to wake her heart up, while Jesper and Wylan panicked to pull out the bullet and seize the wound, so no more blood would be lost. What wasn't helpful, though, was Brekker, constantly yelling at them for trying harder. She understood that his anger was powered by the fear for that girl, but that didn't put out the urge to fill his face with more wounds, maybe a broken nose even.

"I swear, Nina. If she dies.." he exclaimed again, not helping the situation in any way.

"It will be on you!" Nina barked at him, frustration clearly visible not only on her tone, but her tired features. Her eyes shot to Jesper and Wylan an apologizing look as she saw their hands bloodied and faces worried. The door swinged open behind her, revealing Inej. Nina felt relief wash over her as she saw her. Kaz would maybe stop being such an asshole in her presence.

"Is she breathing?" Inej asked and immediately moved to Y/N's lying form, putting her cheek above her nose. "Barely." Wylan answered stressfully. Kaz's worry shifted to fear, Nina could sense that, even when her full focus was on the hitman's weak heart. She was barely alive, but the heartender was still surprised it could beat. She was strong and Nina hoped she would continue to fight.

Jesper gasped heavily and looked at her. "The wound's sealed!" he sounded so hopeful and it brought Nina some strenght to see him like this. She had to take quick breaths before tightening her hands in the air one more time, fastening Y/N's heartbeat. Fortunetely, it worked. "She's breathing again!" Inej said with a small smile, causing Kaz to limp closer to see for himself. His own wounds weren't yet treated, but Nina didn't even try to convince him. He had trouble looking after himself when one of them was hurt, she could imagine how much worse it was in this case, where his heartbeat's fire was on the brink of death.

She could feel the heartbeat pick up to a slow pace. It wasn't yet normal, but at least she didn't have to control it now. Nina put her hands down and fell down on an armchair beside her. Everyone in the room fell victims to exhaustion, Nina closed her eyes for a moment, just focusing on her breathing. Wylan was the first to stand up and slowly make his way out of the room with the words she'll be alright, Nina, you did a great job. Jesper followed, squeezing Nina's shoulder and nodding shortly at Kaz, before the door closed after him too.

"You either let me treat your wounds or you will go and get some sleep." she offered to the man, her eyes fixated on Y/N. She was glad he, at least, wrapped his neck in a bandage during this hard time, but he had other quite serious wounds she had to treat sooner or later. Kaz allowed himself to be predictable as he stared at the hitman and then slowly limped out of the room. Before he did though, he surprised her after all.

"Thank you."

Nina's head snapped his way and watched him leave, she didn't expect that. Inej sat next to her on the armrest, following her eyes to the laying girl. "You should rest as well, I know how tired you are." the heartender studied her features with a caring look. Her friend fought the sleep well so far, which she hated to see. "I'm not leaving you alone." the spider said with a decisive eyes connecting with hers. She knew the heartender couldn't sleep herself, as she had to look out for Y/N's heart. Nina flashed a defeated smile. She was grateful for her presence, she missed her a lot, but it would ease her mind if she went to sleep. However, knowing her stubborn mind, she scooted over to the very side, creating a tiny space for Inej to sit, which her friend accepted with a smile.

"Alright then. Tell me how you killed Rollins and DON'T spare any details."

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[bigmack2go]

Newsies as things my family an i have saidpart two bc the other one got too long

Jack (too his newborn): naw look at you, you’re just an idiot! you can’t even do anything yet!

Baby (2 months old): *knocks something over*

Spot: you fucking idiot, why would you??

Albert (to baby): naw look at you you’re just so stupid!

Jack: can you stop calling my child stupid please?

Albert: no.

Albert: wait a minute you called him an idiot before too!

Jack: yes but he’s one year old now, he might understand you!

(In addition to that🔼 one:)

Elmer: well you called our cat fat

Jack: that’s because he actually is!

Elmer *deadpan*: well have you ever considered your son actually is stupid?

Race: listen kid

Jacks baby:

Race: it’s okay to be dumb.

Race: youre just one year old. You can’t help it.

Race: and even if you were older,

Race: that would be alright

Race: some people are just idiots

Race: and that’s okay!

Jacks baby:

Race: Alberts an idiot. And we still love him.

Race: IM an idiot

Race: and look how far i came

Race:…

Race: actually don’t look how far i came

Race: im a bad example

Jacks baby:

Race: look

Race: AHA York is an idiot

Race: and look how far he came

Race: youre gonna do wonderful

Jacks baby:🧍‍♂️

Albert: *screams back the same way the baby screams at him*

One year old: drops food

Mush: can you- EXCUSE YOU?!

Race and albert: *playing store with jacks kid*

Race: sir i‘m not sure you’re gonna pass probationary period like this. You need to stop eating the microphone.

Albert: the little Racer Higgins would like his parents to get him from the play isle

Albert: woah, i‘m a payin‘ customer np need tl scream at me

Race: Mr Kelly what did we say about takin products from customers

Albert: *whispering coworkers gossip to the kid as Racer comes in* OH HI BOSS we were just uh—

Albert: Sir, you need to pay for that! SIR! STOP THE THIEF!

One year old: babbling jsusiwhwvdkvkvbbsjsublemblemblemblemblem

Ike: same dude

Ike: i totally agree

Ike: wait really?!

Ike: *gasp* and what did you say to her???

Ike: some people just need to shut up!

Ike: no you did the right thing!

Jack: y‘know if it weren’t for the circumstances, Adolf would be a pretty neat name

Davey: WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR KID ADOLF

Race(fighting his nephews teacher): You can’t teach them that, they’ll think they’re stupid!

Race: I tried those. And I didn’t get them. How are they supposed to get it right?

Races Nephew(a first grader): uncle race I didn’t even try those yet-

Albert: why is he allowed to suck titties and i aint?

Albert: *points at baby*

(Race: because you’re gay and the kid‘s two

(Albert: how would you know that the kid is too??))

Albert: *whispers to four year old* just you wait you little— OH HI DAVEY

Albert: so when he’s missing the obvious, it’s cute but when i am it makes me an idiot?

Davey: al—

Albert: NO!

Albert: we need to normalise adults being idiots

Albert:

Davey:

Albert: actually scratch that

Albert: we need to accept that babys are idiots.

Spot: SMART „FOR HIS AGE“ And „SMART“ ARE NOT THE SAME THING

(Albert: THANK YOU)

Mush: Jack, your two year old daughter can tie better loops than your five year old son

Mush: i think she might be gifted…

Jack *LOUD*: HA

Mush: huh?

Jack: sorry im just relieved. I thought you were gonna say that he’s not

Davey to his crying 5 months old baby: ugh you’re SO melodramatic

Baby: crying

Davey: did he just fall on his face?

Davey: *sees that jack is holding the kid*

Davey: JACK WHAT DID YOU DO

Jack: HOW IS IT MY FAULT THE IDIOT IS TOO DUMB TO WALK???