#and schlomo doesn't know he's made an enemy

[viric-dreams]

Thinking a bit more about Jones and mental health and why he's averse to any sort of treatment. I think there are a few things going on here.

Before prison, he was in good physical and mental health, to the point that it was never a consideration in his mind. To this day, he still struggles to properly reckon with the fact that that's no longer his reality. He also believes that he's keeping the worst of it at bay by not giving it any sort of name, doing anything to draw attention to it (unaware that the sheer amount of time his thoughts spend on loop is equally harmful). He doesn't want to publicly acknowledge that he has any sort of problem, because in his eyes that would make it too real and give it power over him.

Additionally, he'd spent time at the Royal Bethlehem once, in his early days in London. It was an awful experience. The loss of autonomy, the inability to leave, and all the while the staff treated him so politely whilst still holding him in that gilded cage. It almost felt worse than Newgate. At least there, they hadn't pretended he wasn't a prisoner. He's utterly terrified of being sent back to the Beth, a possibility that's inevitable in his mind, should anyone find out just how bad things are behind that facade.

Except it's not really a facade. That's him. That should be him. It's who he's supposed to be. Everything else is just... something. Something else. Something interfering.