#and sb came out and it was definitely an experience sitting down and wondering who the fuck william afton was

[dymond-dynamo]

update, because why not!!! I've now officially beaten ShB (well, strictly speaking I still have to complete the quest, but that's just because the servers went down for maintenance before I was done with the cutscenes lol). all in all, I think ShB is probably the greatest experience I've had with a game to date. it's hard to put into words exactly what made it hit that strongly, and I think a lot of it honestly has to do with my hundreds of hours of investment into this world and its characters. but there's more to it than that. I had hundreds of hours invested going into Stormblood (altho obviously fewer than ShB, because that's how time works lol), and I came away from it honestly feeling very meh, despite enjoying its highs. so what's the difference?? gonna put the rest of my thoughts after the break because I have friends I wanna bully into playing this game so I should worry about spoilers lol. short version is, game very good, and super well done in basically every way.

I can't fucking wait to experience Endwalker, but also I'm gonna make myself wait, because after I clear the 5.x patch content (or maybe before? haven't decided yet), I'm gonna take a break to play a couple other games, specifically Baldur's Gate 3 (because it'll almost definitely be my goty) and the final couple chapters of Lost Judgment (because RGG Gaiden comes out in like a week and a half???). there's no way I can let it sit for much longer than that (and I may even get the itch before I'm done with BG3, we'll see), but I've gotta knock out some of my shelved backlog, and XIV is my forever game, so that'll never clear a slot

the performances were also incredible. I mean, the performances are always incredible since the HW recast, but I do think they're extra noteworthy this time. I mentioned Feo Ul, and maybe I was being slightly hyperbolic, but I do genuinely really love them, and they're one of my favorite characters in the game now. I hope we get to see them again post-ShB. I know the odds of that are pretty low, but lore-wise it'd already be justified at any time, and it'd make me so happy. other than the usual cast of Scions, who are always great, I obviously have to say that Emet-Selch was just phenomenal. they really said "what if we had a funny little guy follow you around, and 90% of the time he's the sassiest bitch you've ever seen, but the rest of the time he's super fucked up and sad. wouldn't that be rad?" and they were 1000%, it was rad, and a lot of that is on just how good the performance is

anyway, lightly spoilery stuff: I think the biggest difference for me between SB and ShB is the focus and intentionality of the story. I felt pretty much all along that SB feels like two separate expansion ideas mashed together. I think the end product is still very good (there's no part of XIV from 2.0 on that I'd call bad, they're all just varying degrees of good lol), but I can't help but wonder whether an expansion just about Ala Mhigo or just about the far east would've been a better experience. what they ended up with was: go to Ala Mhigo and fight a bit -> go to the east and do the whole story there -> go back to Ala Mhigo and wrap up. meanwhile, despite having more differing areas than SB, ShB keeps everything building towards a single goal the entire time. honestly those disparate areas actually work to its favor, since you exploring a whole new world and seeing how different yet similar it is to Eorzea. tbh I almost want to say that ShB feels like it'd be the perfect new player experience for an MMO, but that's not really true. so much about what makes it compelling requires you to already know the world and the characters. the big reveals (which I won't talk about in specific, even tho this is a several years old expansion, just to be safe) genuinely blew me away, and I'm so so excited to see how EW builds on them

and of course I can't sing the praises of ShB without talking about the music. I mean, Soken is already on my short list of greatest composers of our time (that full list btw, in no particular order, is Lena Raine, Soken, Yoko Shimamura, Darren Korb, and Keiichi Okabe), but he really outdid himself on ShB. obviously the vocal tracks are fantastic, surpassed only by Footfalls (which I'm not even supposed to know about yet), but also a ton of the instrumental tracks are real standouts. (shout-out Sands of Amber)

tbh I could keep gushing about this for a while, but it's already been the better part of an hour since Square Enix so rudely kicked me off, so I should really really get some sleep. I think my plan moving forward is to knock out the patch content, write a review for backloggd (because apparently I'm more capable of putting my thoughts into words than I thought lol), and play the games I mentioned earlier. so look forward to me being extremely Karlach brained in the near future instead of Y'shtola brained lmao

ok, I'm still not quite all the way done with Shadowbringers (up to lvl 79 quests tho!!), but I just wanna say that Feo Ul is the greatest character ever created. everything about them and their energy is so incredible. they could so easily be annoying, but instead they're incredibly endearing and funny

ShB in general is just a masterclass in character writing, to say nothing of the actual plot. and I've still got EW ahead of me after I beat it!! what a fucking incredible game

[hanamora]

the feminine urge to create a horrifically scary game that everyone worldwide adores only because security breach dragged me down kicking and screaming back to my fnaf phase

[fheythfully]

Putting all my thoughts on the 5.3 MSQ under the cut. Beware of course of spoilers! Overall I really enjoyed the patch. There were a lot of times where I sounded like an excited dinosaur.

So first things first, the way the patch started with the kids was so cute. I was expecting more with the Ardbert-esque kid, especially when he said he wanted to adventure with friends because he felt like he was missing something... but then they didn’t? I’m not sure what the point of that line of his was then. Ardbert’s soul is inside ours, and also has been shown to have moved on, but I wonder if some fragment of it--the part that is bound to the specific world’s Lifestream--can be reborn? Anyway. A bit bummed we didn’t get more with that train of thought but it was cute nevertheless. Also, apothecary. I was going “IS THIS A HINT?” the moment the kiddo said she wanted to be one as a WoL.

Also, I am totally writing a shortfic of the twins, Satella and Ryne hanging out in the Crystarium library with Moren bringing them books of interest while they sneak in tea and snacks. Ryne falls asleep and is eventually found by Thancred. Alisaie teases him for being a doting father. When everyone leaves, Satella is left cozily snuggled up as the evening turns feeling almost like home at the Arcanist’s Guild.

I really liked the bit where Alisaie’s desire to surpass the WoL and competitive nature is shown, and that some part of it is due to insecurity. I love the character depth and growth SE gives her over the patches. I just about had a heart attack when she started getting woozy with a noise in her head.

Elidibus feeling summoned by the WoL and seeing an Amaurotine in their stead gave me feelings, because it means we are whole enough now to form some sort of connection to the Ascians. Only sundered ones are left now though, so I wonder if that will still stay true.

I did have a heart attack at hearing Thancred collapsed. I was not expecting him to be okay when we got back to see him. Dawn’s Respite scene was very sobering and set me up for something entirely different than the ending we got (thank god).

Alisaie being stubborn and sullen with the Exarch made me wonder if she’s seeing the past with Louisoux in him, and Alphinaud’s comment about how she handled their grandfather leaving all that well all but confirmed it. That’s very sweet.

I made a very loud note as I was playing at the fact that a Rejoining soul must recognize its part on the Source as itself. Not sure if that was just for the Exarch’s case (though there are comments about how we and Ardbert fused very easily too) but I have Filed This Away.

Seeing Shtola collapsed gave me another heart attack but she’s definitely possessed of nine lives. The duty with Elidibus was fantastic, though the lack of voice acting caught me off guard (covid? are duties never voiced?). Fighting the baby Scions made me full of glee and then it got even better from there. Answers playing over the city, and then the HW theme, and then SB--fantastic. I especially paused when it started snowing. I appreciate a lot what Elidibus was doing, which was trying to show to us that the people who seem so ancient and recreated only as puppets had once meant something to him and his own. The fight was a lot of fun. I took a screenshot of berserk-Ardbert for kicks.

Also, the bit where he calls you by your name, and the name is switched from Elidibus to Ardbert. My heart. I have a lot of notes about this for future writing.

Elidibus as Zodiark’s heart and primal weren’t a big surprise as it’s been confirmed before (I think?) BUT he’s basically the primal for the idea of the Warrior of Light and I think that is magnificent. I still don’t have a full grasp on Elidibus as shown in this patch: his memories are fractured, whether by age or Zodiark; he’s driven both by his own ambition and Zodiark’s influence. He’s all over the place and I’m going to have to take better measure of him as I replay everything in NG+.

I have a note that says, “Ella why are you picking up random things off the ground that your enemies have dropped???” but it all turned out even better than okay. I don’t understand how he could have dropped all those Convocation crystals other than as a plot point but whatever. It was a great sequence. “All that remains is to pray. To pray that we will one day meet again, beneath a blue sky.” Made me tear up. The twisting of the Convocation from the gentle, kind Amaurotines to what they are today is brutally heart breaking.

I made a note of how the trees in Amaurot are starting to wither--I am not sure if we’ve always had that? But if not, definitely a small sign of Hades’ magic fading?

Bear with me now but I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING ABOUT AZEM. I of course didn’t get the title right (my 14th is Altima), but I got the duty/job so almost right. My Altima is the Shepherd, though to the souls on the planet living and departing to create and live alongside the Lifestream. The entire scene with Hyth had me shaking in my chair with excitement over how perfectly it described my headcanon 14th--down to her wandering the planet when she wasn’t in the city. Granted it fits with all our WoLs and is specifically made to be so, but I am so excited. Not sure what I’ll do with this when I write, whether I will alter my canon to fit the game or plow on ahead, but we’ll see. I’m just so excited. And the new TITLE fits my OCs to a T. God, thank you, SE. I also love that we are the “sun” and can’t wait for the future connections and theories about the 14th and Azeyma and Azim.

“After all, I cannot say whether I act of my own volition or by the will of my recreator!” Made me laugh-cry.

Scions confirmed that seeing Amaurot awoke a great grief in them, which was then supported by the random Eulmore NPC crying at the sight of it. So, it’s not even reliant on how whole your soul is: everyone who sees it feels something, a soul-genetic memory, maybe? I can’t wait to use this. Also makes me wonder if this is why in the patch the Scions are more wont to encourage you to talk things out with Elidibus, as in SHB they were pretty set against Emet-Selch.

The new dungeon was okay. I need to replay it again and look around more (is there a hint of Hildibrand there??). The Necromancer and Berserker class, though the latter may be Warrior same way Arcanists are called Ink Mage, made me pout a little. I want Necromancer. Also, THIER White Mages get Protect? Pffft.

I didn’t take any notes for the trial but. It was brilliant. The run through Crystal Tower with the Exarch was a wonderful callback (there were so many callbacks, it was great) and then when he told us to go ahead I was like, you better mean it that you don’t plan to play your trump card unless we’re present! The trial itself was breathtaking. When the Amaurotine first showed up I thought it was Azem, then when they snapped their fingers I was like cool we can do that too, and then they did the Emet-Selch wave and I lost it. HOW!? Shtola has a theory that even she admits is far fetched but. Wow. I am wondering which one it may be: Emet-Selch truly somehow having his soul live (we were just in the space where Ascians’ souls go between bodies) and assisted us; or was he called by Azem’s crystal as a memory; or was it a memory entirely? Just. That cameo. I miss you, Emet-Selch. For yours is the seat of the fourteenth broke me also and I’m just all over the place. Elidibus as the Warrior of Light was great.

I don’t understand why he went Baby in the end there. I can’t imagine the Convocation recruited and sacrificed a child. My headcanon is that it’s just meant to represent his childlike devotion and drive to his goals. He wanted to help his brothers and sisters so badly he detached himself from Zodiark. Seeing him sitting there cradling the crystals and talking about how it’s a beautiful day and they’re not there to see it was heartbreaking. The Amaurotines lost so, so much--and there’s no way to bring any of it back. I am glad the Unsundered have finally a chance to rest.

The goodbye scene with Ryne was a little lacking to me. I wanted Thancred to hug her, damn it. At least he told her he’s proud of her. She’s so brave with how she tries not to cry before them. She’s coming into her own, with her own ideals, but also so like Minfilia’s that it made my heart full. I will act as her post moogle to Thancred any time, kupo.

Also the one line she has in Twine about how Gaia is her friend who will be there for her is sweet and I laugh at the idea of Gaia’s reaction.

Okay, so, the ending. Probably the thing I did not expect at all. I expected death. No one died. The animations were beautiful, and Alisaie was such a joy to watch. Just. I don’t have words for it. I was so overcome with happiness at how perfect they all were: Alisaie sinking into her chain in a sulk, the Archons fondling their weapons, Alphinaud with tea and a book. Alisaie jumping off to go find a fight and Alphinaud’s brotherly exasperation. The banter between Urianger and Y’Shtola. My heart is so, so full.

On to the topic of the Exarch, which I did not expect to have this many feelings on: first of all, I expected him to die. We all did. How can one man survive SO many death flags!? When our WoL ran out of the Stones like a wound up mammet I was there with her, heart pounding praying for it to have worked. I am bummed that we didn’t get to experience him actually waking, but that means I can write about it... which I already did, actually. Because: I came out of this with a very unexpected, slowly unfurling Ella/G’raha ship. This was a surprise because ARR G’raha was not someone I even remembered all that well, as I played CT when it came out, but I remember thinking he was a bit too immature for romantic ships; and the Exarch always felt too distant and too much. I was fond of him in SHB but in a passing way, also because I was a little bitter that he put the Scions in such danger in the first place (though I understand all the good that’s come as a result, like uncovering the true Ascian plots). Seeing him at the end there, as a fusion of G’raha and the Exarch, somehow turned my view of him on its head and in that moment, I could easily see Ella and him running off and having proper adventures together. The driving attraction to all my ships is a form of shared experience, or at least understanding of what it’s like to bear a heavy burden on your shoulders. The Exarch was again, too much in his role, and I couldn’t see Ella feeling comfortable being close with him. But now, with this ending? Watching the two of them run off together? Oh, I am excited.

I even wrote four pages of fluff on how he got those bobby pins in his hair and I never write fluff. Please look forward to it being posted soon.

Lastly: Ardbert. If you’ve been around my blog long enough, you’ll know that I’ve been an Ardbert shipper since HW. SHB was so good to me in that regard. Personally, I got closure regarding him in the scene of him offering us his axe and was happy with it. I was overjoyed to see him get closure with Seto now, too. I’m not happy with Elidibus using his body and then tearing it apart as he did, but: it made for great angst and sometimes that’s actually okay with me. The confirmation that he can talk to and through us is interesting and I imagine that he does so rarely, as his soul is finally at rest with his friends--where it truly belongs. He lets us live our life, and a part of him is always with us, now. I imagine him and Ella at one point having a conversation about her burgeoning feelings for G’raha, as in my canon she’s never felt quite a strong enough connection or level of comfort with anyone but Ardbert, and him giving her his “blessing” and encouraging her that it’s okay to chase after the comfort and happiness G’raha can bring her. Especially since all of SHB she was in a very very bad place and this ending we got gives me such a sense of respite, no matter how fleeting.

Speaking of fleeting: Zenos and Asahi/Fandaniel. I am still hoping Zenos gets more interesting because I just can’t bring myself to like him, and seeing him destroy the Garlean empire before we even step foot into it is making me a little pouty. Fandaniel is interesting on a few accounts: he’s a sundered Ascians, so what will that mean? Clearly he’s been unhappy with the Unsundereds’ plans. He’s also pretty crazy for “the bringer of order”, if we follow the FF12 Espers. We didn’t get a lot so I am hesitantly interested. But also, Asahi? I hate that kid...

My last thoughts on this are: the Ascian storyline was meant to come to an end with this patch, but clearly we’re still getting content. So I am hoping that was for the Unsundered Ascians and we’ll find out more about the summon of Hydaelyn and all that. I... have exhausted myself typing all this. Wow.

BUT I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THIS PATCH AND WILL REPLAY THAT HAPPY ENDING MANY TIMES. I can’t wait for the future.

[thecourtneychronicles]

“Courtney Act says she’s enjoying an endless “hot girl summer”. Which, for those not initiated into American rap memes, basically means she’s having a damn good time.

“I’m kind of lubed up and ready for Mardi Gras, so to speak,” she says. As Australia’s most famous drag queen, active since the turn of the century, Courtney helped lead the mainstreaming of queer culture in this country along with figures such as Carlotta and Bob Downe.

But being a leader or pioneer doesn’t guarantee being comfortable in your own skin. Courtney says that until recently her understanding of sexuality and gender was actually quite limited. When she was performing, she was a woman, but when she stripped off her make-up, she went back to being Shane Jenek, a man.

“Although I did drag, my masculinity and femininity were compartmentalised in the binary,” Courtney says.

But over the past few years, as public discussion of gender, sexuality and identity has grown, she has discovered things are more complex than your genitals, clothes and hair.

“I think sometimes people think identity has something to do with the wrapping, but really it’s the gift underneath,” she says. “It’s about how you feel. For me, I definitely feel like I occupy masculine and feminine qualities.”

Courtney explores this journey in her pop-cabaret show, Fluid, showing this week at the Eternity Playhouse in Darlinghurst as part of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras festival. It’s a change of pace for her after focusing on television in recent years; first by winning Britain’s Celebrity Big Brother in 2018, then as the runner-up (with Joshua Keefe) on last year’s Australian Dancing with the Stars.

It’s also a far cry from her humble beginnings in the DIY world of drag, which has never been regarded as high art but remains a staple of gay bars and culture worldwide.

“There’s a lot less hot glue and sticky tape in this show, which makes it feel a lot more professional,” Courtney says of Fluid. “I don’t know if that will hold until opening night.”

Set to original music, Fluid was written by Shane and American comedian Brad Loekle. For the most part it’s a one-woman show, with some help from a ballroom dancer in the second half. (“It’d be weird doing a ballroom dance by yourself,” she says.)

The show acknowledges that, more than ever, people are being flooded with “ever-changing and flowing ideas of who we are, what we are and what we might become”.

This is something we should embrace, says Courtney. “We change our clothes every day – we change  our hairstyles, we change our jobs. Everything is constantly in motion and constantly fluid. But we have this idea that our identities are fixed. When we look at our lives they’re actually a lot more fluid than we think.”

Courtney, or Shane, doesn’t identify as trans but has said that seeing more transgender people represented in the media was liberating and allowed her to explore her own doubts about gender. She’s previously been described as “gender fluid, pansexual and polyamorous”, although she no longer embraces those labels as she once did.

“They all work,” says Courtney, who prefers to identify as “just generally queer” these days. “It’s funny … so many of our groups identify so strongly with labels and they’re so important to us. I kind of feel less attached to those labels.”

She also understands why some people might feel confused, or even confronted, by the politics of queer identification. The acronym LGBTQIA+, which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual and others, has expanded over the years to the point that some critics deride it as “alphabet soup”. Even those who are part of the community can be intolerant.

“I get that LGBTIQA+ is a little cumbersome from a marketing standpoint,” says Courtney. “But if you find yourself with the time to complain and be confused by a few extra letters, then you’re one of the lucky ones. If there are people that get to understand themselves more because of a letter in an acronym, I’m all for it.”

“I definitely feel like I occupy masculine and feminine qualities.”

Courtney casts a sceptical eye over everything, including the rise of cancel culture, a predominantly left-wing phenomenon which argues that anyone who says or does something deemed to be racist, sexist, homophobic or in any way offensive should be called out, shamed and, preferably, silenced.

Lamenting the state of political discourse while appearing on the ABC’s Matter of Fact program last year, she said: “The volume’s too loud now and everybody’s yelling.” While history showed that people sometimes need to raise their voices, “when you actually sit down opposite someone and have a conversation with them, you get so much further”.

How, then, does Courtney view the debate over religious freedom that has raged ever since Australians voted to legalise same-sex marriage in 2017? She says it’s clear that sometimes people, especially older white males, perceive other people gaining rights as a threat to their own. She says religion can be a lost cause because it is, by definition, about faith rather than rational argument. Still, queer people have to make the effort to engage.

“The way to do that is to get people to picture themselves in other people’s experiences. That’s the only way you can foster that empathy.

“Rather than yelling aggressively back at the people trying to oppress us, I think the most important thing to do is to share our stories.”

Another thing you can do, of course, is march. This weekend, Mardi Gras culminates in the annual parade up Oxford Street, which will feature more than 200 floats and 10,000 marchers. For the first time, Courtney will co-host the coverage on SBS with comedians Joel Creasey and Zoe Coombs Marr, and Studio 10 presenter Narelda Jacobs.

She had something of a practice run hosting the coverage on Foxtel some years ago. “I saw a clip of it the other day,” she says. “And I’m definitely hoping to redeem myself.”

As a character, Courtney has been on the gay scene for about 20 years. The person behind the facade, Shane, turned 38 last week. He grew up in Brisbane and remembers watching the parade on television as a teenager in the 1990s, huddled up close to the TV so he could quickly switch it off if his parents came downstairs.

Shane came to Sydney when he was 18 and attended his first Mardi Gras. “I just remember it was such a melting pot of people,” he says. “It was the first time I really understood what a community was: that there were all these different parts, and we all faced different challenges and struggles.”

But even then, Shane says he failed to really comprehend about what Mardi Gras was all about. Just like many heterosexual critics over the years, as a young man he gawked at the giant dancing penises, fetish-wear and nudity and wondered: why?

“I remember thinking: why can’t they just be normal?” Shane says. “Have your parade, but why does it have to be about sex and penises? Because I had shame about all of those things. I realise now that the parade’s brash display of sexuality liberates the shame … it’s a really radical way to shake people and say there’s nothing wrong with sexuality – not just homosexuality but sexuality in general.”

The queer community has given Shane a lot: acceptance, identity, a career and fame. It has taken him to Los Angeles, where he was based for some years until 2018, and now to his new home in London.

Love, on the other hand, remains elusive. He is “on the rebound” at the moment, though eternally optimistic. “It’s Mardi Gras time, it’s summer in Sydney, I think this is the perfect time to be single. Maybe I’ll find love under a disco ball at the after-party.”

Incredibly, at 38, Shane is about to attend his first ever wedding, straight or gay – his friend Tim is marrying his partner Ben. It is set to be a baptism of fire. “They have asked my ex-boyfriend and me to give the best man’s speech together, which could be slightly sadistic,” he says.

Shane is still adjusting to the relatively new world of same-sex marriage. It’s not for everyone – many queers still think of it as a conservative and unnecessary institution – but it’s growing on him. “Weirdly, seeing all these people get married, I feel like my cold heart has melted a bit,” he says. “I think there’s something really beautiful about marriage.”

It’s a reminder of why events like the Mardi Gras are still so important – a celebration of diversity at the same time as the old divisions between straight and gay are knocked down. As well as marriage, this can manifest in small shifts, like the politics of Bondi Beach.

“I was at North Bondi on Saturday [and] it was surprisingly unlike North Bondi,” Shane says. “It was all families and those banana umbrella things. I was like, ‘Oh, I remember when this used to be [gay nightclub] ARQ, but with more light.’"

“I guess that’s the progress we fought for – the families are happy occupying the gay beaches now.”

Fashion director Penny McCarthy. Photographer Steven Chee. Hair Benjamin Moir at Wigs By Vanity.

SBS’s Mardi Gras broadcast airs live from 7.30pm on February 29. Fluid will return for a tour of Australia and NZ in spring.

This article appears in Sunday Life magazine within the Sun-Herald and the Sunday Age on sale February 23.”

Courtney’s interview for The Sydney Morning Herald - February 21, 2020

[daddyconfessions]

daddy’s journal 3/16/16

daddy’s journal 3/8

Thursday Mar 2nd Bubbles hit me up today around 9am and told me she couldn’t make it. She’d gone out with Piper and had stayed out too late. Her and Piper had been hanging out a lot. I guess that explained all the drunk texts she’d sent the other night. I couldn’t be bothered though. I was busy looking at job ads.

I had a lot on my mind. The more I looked at jobs the more I realized I desperately needed to get in with some recruiters if I wanted to improve my chances. I hit up Firecracker to let her know I was free. She told me she couldn’t make it and had plans to volunteer somewhere. About an hour later she asked if she could have extra money. Something about needing to buy a ticket for a trip with her friends. I told her it was cool. Then a couple of hours after that, she texted me again to tell me she was having a weird discharge and needed to go to the doc and get it checked out.

I asked if she had a STD.  That didn’t go over well. We got into an argument, mostly her calling me out for thinking of her that way as well as her making it very clear no one was hitting the kitty uncovered.  She stopped texting me suddenly. I figured she was mad so I left it alone.  I had always used a condom so I wasn’t really too worried. Still she was acting weird af.

Napoleon came into my office not too long after that. We had a brief discussion about the next meeting with the Russian’s as well as the Board of Directors meeting next week. He seemed jovial with me, not at all like a guy who wanted me gone. Maybe I was just being paranoid about my job. Still when he left, I got up and cleaned my office some more. Tomorrow could be the big day.

Later that evening, I went home and spent about an hour with the family before I poured myself some Crown Royal and coke, grabbed a Cohiba and went out on the front porch. Nothing clears the mind like a little crown and coke and some of Cuba’s finest.  I was feeling sporty after that. My mind was clear. FC was tripping. Bubbles cancelling left and right.  What’s a SD to do? Time to get online.

I played around on CL for kicks. I didn’t expect much. Usually sugardaddy posts get deleted within the first hour of being posted. But I came up with a snazzy title that would pass cursory inspection and posted it. Then I got back on SA, paid for my membership. Then I logged into SD.com and looked around. I toyed with the idea of going to this bar known for being a sugarbabe hook up spot. But I needed to get a bit prepared for that so I passed. Truthfully, I can’t handle another SB but the way FC and Bubbles are going, it’ll be over soon.

While I was playing around, FC got back to me telling me she didn’t have any STDs and then launched into some long tirade about the doc saying her body was going through changes, hormonal and what not, and reacting to the weight gain she’d had as well as her period being out of sync. I apologized for insinuating she might’ve had something. She told me she needed a break to let things clear up. It all sounded suspicious to me. But in the absence of more info, I had to go along with it.

Friday Mar 4th The big day. My office is clean af. If I get sliced all I needed to do is grab some pics and a bag and I’m out.

10am. 11am. Noon. Nothing. 1pm. Still nothing.

I get  text from FC saying her period finally started. I didn’t even respond. I’m starting feel like I’m in a chess game.

2pm. I realized my boss had gone home for the day. Guess I wasn’t getting fired after all. I get a text from Bubbles. Hadn’t thought much about our date that day. I took a Lamar Odom and an hour later I was heading out the door to meet her. Can’t believe I overreacted like that about my job. Guess my paranoia got the better of me. But Bubbles hadn’t cancelled again so not a bad end to the week. It dawned on me that I hadn’t had any kitty all week.

When I got to the restaurant Bubbles had already gotten the table/booth. I like that shit. Most SBs will be late. Or if they get there first they’ll stay in the car until you arrive or wait in the sitting area. No way their getting a table and you ain’t there. Not Bubbles. I liked her style.  The way the booth was made it sat sideways so you could see the whole restaurant. We sat back and people watched while we sipped our drinks, ate and kissed. Bubbles doesn’t have any problem with PDA. We must have tongued each other down several times throughout the early dinner. Sharing the sweet taste of our drinks on each others lips and tongue. Several other tables kept looking over at us. It was kind of fun. Wild. Definitely a thrill. An elderly couple kept looking over too. Not in disgust more out of curiosity. Bubbles is a pretty girl. She’s skinny as a toothpick but she’s pretty af. The old heads were probably wondering why an old scrub like me was getting that young kitty….$$$$

Bubbles kept checking her phone. She apologized. Told me her son had a fever from some shots he’d just gotten and she was constantly checking on him. I honestly keep forgetting she has a 6 month old. You’d never know she had a newborn the way she looked. She doesn’t have a stretch mark on her body. Her stomach was flat as a board. I asked Bubbles about the other night with her girlfriend. She and Piper had gone out with some rich record exec. You’d probably know him or one of his artists if I mentioned them. Pipers the type that can’t handle her alcohol though so when she got drunk she started fighting with everyone including Bubbles. Bubbles was trying to calm her down and talk sense into her. Piper hadn’t backed down, got mad at Bubbles and took her phone and threw it across the room, shattering the screen. Some other stuff happened including Piper cursing out some of the security guards and other guys at the table. The big Exec told security to throw her out but they didn’t want Bubbles to go. They wanted her pretty little ass to stay. Bubbles couldn’t let her friend be outside, drunk, by  herself so she went with her even though the entourage wanted her to say. They took uber to get there and hate to wait until another Uber to come which was almost an hour later.

I took the opportunity to bring up some serious concerns. “I’m don’t know if I can compete with your circle of friends,” I told her. “You’re hanging out with rich dudes. Famous and shit. Not to mention they know other famous people. Money aside, I couldn’t come close to that kind of lifestyle.” She touched my hand and pursed her lips. “Oh babe its not like that. Those guys aren’t my type. I’m not into the thugged out, gold chain wearing, baggy pants type of guys. These guys got tats everywhere and they treat girls like shit. Besides, just because they have money doesn’t mean they’re going to be doing anything for you. I keep telling Piper that. They just want some pussy and when their done with you you’re gone.”

“Well I was just wanting to bring it up,” I said. Truth is I’m tired. In the old days a bloke could shell out some cash and have a good time with a girl. Spoil her to death and not worry about all the drama the sugarbowl has now. But now its mad drama and all this unnecessary competition. Not to mention all the games both SBs and SDs try to do to each other. Its enough to drive a man crazy. I told her what I was thinking and added, “I know hanging with Piper gets you into the inner circle and all that. But from my past experiences, its tiring competing with celebrities. Not to mention the lifestyle they have to offer. It gives me a headache just thinking about it.”

She shook her head. “No. Piper’s just a groupie. She’s my girl but I gotta be honest. Besides, since I’m not doing anything when we go out its getting harder and harder to hang with her. I’m like the 3rd wheel. And all of these guys don’t give a shit about her. They even hit on me in front of her and she just laughs it off. Honestly, I’m sort of getting tired of it but Piper’s my girl. And she knows people that knows people. If we ever needed to get into a club, backstage at a concert, all we have to do is ask her.”

“The benefits of being a groupie,” I said. We both laughed. She put her hand on my thigh and rubbed it. “But really babe, you don’t have anything to worry about. I already have my lover.” She lifted her glass and said, “To us.” I lifted mine and we clicked glasses. Then we kissed again, the sweet taste of the drinks on our lips made the kisses that much sweeter.

We talked a bit more about Piper, celebs and our situation. Suddenly, Bart was hard as a rock. The Lamar Odom’s had kicked in. I was ready to fuck.  

From there we headed to the hotel. Lots of kissing and tonging before we moved to the bed. I couldn’t wait to lick the kitty. But she stopped me. Told me she was still spotting. Damn. Can a Daddy get a break this week? WTF?  I couldn’t even hit it. She decided to just give me fellatio. I’d love to blog about how I licked the kitty. Sucked the clit. But no. No fun filled evening of me trying to get inside that tight kitty. She gave me brains, but I wasn’t that into it tbh. I wanted some kitty.  “I’m sorry baby,” she said, stopping, my tip less than an inch from those pretty lips. “I’m not usually this bad of a fuck. Its just that I haven’t been that active…” Poor girl had to work hard to get ol Bart to cum. And when I came it was nothing spectacular. I can’t say she did  a bad job…more like I was just wanting more that evening.

“I’m sorry. I promise I’m not this bad…” she kept saying. She said two more times and then, “I promise I’m not usually this lousy. I switched BC and its got my body all weird. That’s why I’m spotting.” For a minute I was thinking her and Firecracker were collaborating. “I’m sorry if I keep cancelling. It’s just hard with my work, my son and my friends.” The look on Bubbles face was of pure worry. I could tell she really felt like she was disappointing me. I told her to relax. I was patient. Low key I suspected a threesome was in my future. The thought alone of a 3 way was enough to make even the most impatient man wait. Then she promised things would be better tomorrow. But that would never happen….

Saturday Mar 5th By noon Bubbles cancelled again. Her son was still running a fever and she didn’t feel right leaving him again. It was cool. She was probably still spotting. I also had several messages from my CL ad and some hits of SA. I’d forgotten I had even been playing around on the sites.

No point in wasting a perfectly good Saturday afternoon : ) I poured myself some more Crown & Coke, sat down in my office and I spent the afternoon talking to some POTs. The stuff from CL was admittedly just garbage. Mostly girls looking to catch a date. The only hopeful one was this mid 40’s chick. She was kind of liking the fact that I was so young. Her last SD was in his mid 50s so she was interested in seeing how this would turn out. She was ready to meet to. Said she was going out with the girls and wondered if I could meet her at the bar. Old cougar. I call her Tigress. I declined to meet though. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to go that route. Old chicks be on something else. And, its been awhile since I was involved with someone over 30.

Sunday Mar 6th FC texted me and she felt like things were over. I took that as an indication she wanted to end things. She told me she felt guilty the last few weeks. That was right around the time I’d bought her a new Louis bag. I recalled she had been shocked I had bought it. She was happy too but I could see something in her eyes that something was wrong. Now it all made sense. She felt like she hadn’t deserved it. “I just don’t feel like I can give you everything you want,” she said.

The funny thing this all I ever really wanted was her. It was never something complicated.

But I was tired. Whatever was going on with her had taken its toll on me. I figured she had a new SD or a new fuckboy. Either way it was probably best to end things. I cared for Firecracker but I wouldn’t be a fool for her. Not with so much other kitty around me. She told me she wanted to remain friends and that if I wanted to have lunch or sex one day then to hit her up. We sort of ended it right there.

I was sad. I even posted this journal entry just to vent. She was my princess and now she was gone….

The week was off to a fucked up start.

[buttercup-blue]

Vegas

I’m sure no one gives a fuck about this long ass post, but this blog is more my diary than anything else and a lot always happens on travel weekends.

I just got back from Vegas. Thank god I had a direct flight on the way back. This weekend was incredible, Travel Daddy and I always have the best time together.

I asked for a late dinner the night I got in so I could have some time to freshen up. When I got there, he had a bottle of wine waiting for me. We sat outside on the balcony with me on his lap (our room overlooked the Bellagio fountains) sipping on wine and catching up. When I got there I had no makeup on wearing denim cutoffs and a Brandy Melville long sleeve thermal so I wanted to put some effort in to getting ready for dinner. I showered, rubbed myself down in lotion and did a full beauty routine.

We went to a very intimate Mediterranean restaurant the first night. We have a tradition when we go out to eat where we each have a glass of champagne first and then split a bottle of red wine. I was already about 5-6 glasses of wine deep (counting the ones we had at the hotel) by the time our appetizers came 😂 I love that he can keep up with me and lets loose as much as I do. But just to clarify, I have an extremely high alcohol tolerance (the only good thing having an alcoholic dad gave me). I’ve never gotten sick from drinking with him, I don’t suffer from hangovers. I’m a happy drunk and know how to conduct myself. I also trust him completely so I’m comfortable with heavy drinking around him because I know nothing bad will happen. I usually drink in moderation, but I also believe there’s need for celebration from time to time.

We went to a cocktail lounge after. It was sugar baby hunting grounds and gave us a good laugh. Literally every girl was with an old guy. I complimented the girl sitting on the couch next to me on her shoes because we both were in the same boat. Of course they were Jimmy Choo.

Then we went to my favorite bar and had a couple more glasses of champagne. All of the sudden I hit a wall and was exhausted. It was only 2, but I flew in from the east coast so it was much later. When we finally got to the room, I was useless. We pretty much always have sex at the end of the night but I was out like a light.

I woke up super early the next day and made it up to him. Our sex is amazing and we like to try new things/toys. He REALLY loves when I get off though, so he’s extraordinarily attentive.

We had a cabana rented for the day. We went to the pool relatively early and settled in. There is a $400 minimum for the cabana so between him and I, we had a lot of work to do. We ordered breakfast, coffee and mimosas. We have another mimosa. I get a Red Bull slushie, a drink in a coconut, a house sangria that is champagne based and then switched to glasses of Vueve. We lounge around in the sun talking and it’s a lovely lazy day. We ordered lunch, which was basically half the menu to try. I was mid conversation with him and realized he fell asleep on me. I walked over to the daybed he was in and danced around it and he was definitely out cold. I figured I’d go on a walk around the pool because the views are incredible (it’s a rooftop pool). I ended up in the hot tub and was on my phone editing pictures.

A sexy guy my age on the other side of the hot tub called out to me and said his friends thought my bathing suit was too much to handle. I laughed and told them it’s conservative in my standards. He waded over and started chatting with me. We are both in similar fields (which is very uncommon for me to meet someone who does what I do) and we have an absolutely amazing conversation. Travel Daddy texted me and said the food came, about 15 minutes later I finally ended the conversation. He asked for my number and I said I would just see him around.

When I got back to the cabana, TD asked me if any guys hit on me while he was out jokingly. I think he’s prideful of the fact that I get unsolicited attention from the opposite sex. I told him about the conversation I had. He asked me if the guy was cute, which I said yeah. He asked me his age, which is around mine. And then asked me why I didn’t get his number 😂 I love that he doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. He just wants to see me happy.

So after another 5 glasses of champagne, I’m ready to call it an afternoon. We brought a bottle of champagne back to the room. I pour two flutes and start running a bath. By the time I get out, I walked into the living room to see what he was up to and he was passed out on the couch. So I showered, washed my hair, put on moisturizers etc and got real clean and comfy. He woke up right when I got into bed and was going to take a nap. He said he’d take a shower while I rested and said he’d wake me up in 45 minutes.

He woke me up an hour before our dinner reservation. I wanted to play before we went out so I was confused why he let me sleep an hour and a half. He said I looked so peaceful sleeping and wanted to let me rest. We snuggled for a bit, then I started getting ready for dinner.

I brought a Herve Leger style dress with me. I never wear dresses like that anymore, but I figured it could be an option, especially in Vegas. He asked if I could beat my outfit last night in terms of sex appeal. So I figured that was the green light to ditch the more conservative option and go with the bandage. I wriggled it on and zipped it up. He was floored and kept grabbing on me, I loved it.

We went to a supper club for dinner. I’m a foodie and like trying new things. It was small plates so he had me pick 4 and he picked 4. We both got manhattans after our initial glass of champagne. The food was unreal, the music was so fun. The ambience was amazing, per usual it was a wonderful dinner (that’s what we do best.)

He got front row tickets for a Cirque Du Soleil show and we cabbed to the hotel it was at after our lengthy dinner. We grabbed two cocktails on our way in and made it to our seats in perfect time. I’ve seen Cirque Du Soleil shows before, but not this one. It has such a happy story line. I’m pretty sure I was smiling like an idiot for the full 90 minutes, I was so joyful.

After sitting in the dark for so long though, I was getting sleepy. I asked if we could go to the Venetian to get a drink because the ceiling always makes me feel more awake (the ceiling is painted to look like a cloudy day and is bright in there).

We both have a glass of wine and are super deep in conversation. It’s getting late though, and he was ready to head back. When we got to our hotel, I asked if he wanted to have one more glass of champagne at my favorite bar. He declined which is abnormal, but I didn’t mind. He said I could go out dancing if I wanted to, but he needed to call it a night. Obviously I went back with him and was ready to have sex. But this time he was too tired and fell asleep immediately 😂

So you bet your ass the next morning I climbed on top of him first thing to show how much I appreciated him setting this weekend up for me. We had AMAZING sex, then he needed to leave for the airport early. I walked him down, kissed him goodbye and got myself breakfast. He was very clearly satisfied by the weekend, which was a relief because I felt like it was one sided in my favor this time.

I didn’t fly out until late in the day, so I packed up and checked my bag at the concierge. I went and picked up some new makeup from Chanel and poked around Louis Vuitton. I had a massage appointment in the early afternoon for 80 minutes. He left his account open so I could charge it to the room. I had an incredible massage and sat in the aromatherapy steam room for a while. About an hour before I needed to leave for the airport I showered, blew my hair dry, moisturized but went bare faced for the rest of the day. If you can’t already tell, I’m a bit of a freak when it comes to being clean, I really like self care.

On the way out, I realized they had a whole section of Alo gear. I started browsing around and found an outfit I LOVED. I asked the girls at the spa reception if I could charge it to the room and they said absolutely. I didn’t ask TD if it was okay, but I got leggings, a bra top and wrap top. I’m hoping it just comes through as a charge from the spa because he knows I was there… but I also spent ~$500 on the afternoon so hopefully I’m not in the doghouse 😂

I left Vegas feeling happy, well fed and totally refreshed. I walked through the airport with my shoulders back more than usual and my head nice and high. Sometimes I let daily things get the best of me and get super stressed out. This was the rerouting I really needed.

Out of all of this what I’d like to share with other SBs is that experiences have value to them. He doesn’t give me a lot of cash. He would if he could, but I understand why he can’t. However, I genuinely love spending time with him. This is our fourth trip together and they’re always a blast. We stay at the most beautiful places, go to the most amazing restaurants, enjoy incredible cocktails and I don’t have to worry about a single thing the whole time. As much as I’m a partner to him, he’s protective of me and wants to make sure I’m comfortable, safe and doing things that interest me. I would never be able to experience some of the most amazing memories in my life if it wasn’t for him.

So as much as being a SB is about the hustle, I would choose him over a douchebag SD I don’t actually like that much giving me $5k for a weekend of my time.

[junker-town]

‘The Bachelor’ Recap: Hometown dates and awkward blessings

In Week 8, the families took center stage during the hometown dates, and man, were those dads skeptical.

We here at SB Nation realize that “The Bachelor” is very much sports. Therefore, each week we’ll recap all the heartbreak, drama, and excitement.

IT’S HOMETOWN WEEK! Colton and his four remaining ladies — Caelynn, Hannah, Tayshia, and Cassie — head to their respective hometowns to meet with a collection of family and friends. Colton was concerned last week after the intentions of several of the women (namely Caelynn and Cassie) were called into question by Tayshia.

Things get underway in Fredericksburg, Virginia, as Caeylnn shows Colton around. They kick things off in a horse-drawn carriage as Caelynn gives him a tour of the quaint downtown Fredericksburg area before stopping at Carl’s for ice cream.

She tells him that he’ll be meeting a ton of people, but her biological father isn’t one of them as her stepfather John raised her. They grill out in an adorable back garden before the family splits them off and starts questioning them.

Caelynn’s sister Ariana is skeptical of whole thing (WHICH IS NORMAL, I THINK), and her mother isn’t too much more excited about everything. Pops says their relationship sounds more like a friendship, which isn’t a great sign. They watch some baby videos of Caelynn before she shows him out and tells Colton that she’s in love with him.

Hannah’s hometown is up next, and she takes him to an etiquette class in Birmingham, Alabama. His reaction is perfection, pulling off his patented “I seem excited on the outside but am dying on the inside” look:

ABC

They make Colton:

Walk with a book on his head

Tear small pieces of bread, and butter them individually

Sit through a weird comparison between an umbrella and Hannah’s parents

This is his face of incredulity watching the etiquette teacher explaining how to eat bread:

ABC

The whole awkward experience gave me my life mantra, though:

RT if you know a guy like this ‍♂️ #TheBachelor @colton pic.twitter.com/vNVfWDsh4W

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 26, 2019

What seems like the entire city of Birmingham is at Hannah’s house, and they all scream when the couple walks in the door. Hannah gets questioned about whether she’s prepared for a possible fantasy suite, and Mama Beth comes around to the idea of her little girl being in love. “Go get it, girl.” Mama Beth should be there for motivational speeches all the time, in my opinion.

Hannah caps off the most speaking she’s done on the show to tell Colton that she’s falling in love with him.

Next up is Santa Ana, California, for Tayshia’s hometown. It gets off to a great start as she immediately blindfolds him.

Colton: Are you blindfolding me?

Tayshia: Yep!

Colton: Oh, boy.

They get in her car, and then my favorite moment of the episode happens:

.@colton knew this would be a wild ride #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/ypxhkK4sfP

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 26, 2019

She takes him to Lake Elsinore, where they’re going to go skydiving, which is terrible because they both hate heights. SPOILER ALERT: They live, and the couple heads to her parents’ house to meet her family. Things go pretty well, probably because Tayshia’s dad is the episode MVP. After eating and talking, the couple parts ways with more declarations of strong feelings and kissing outside the SUV.

They saved the best for last as Cassie teaches Colton how to surf in her hometown of Huntington Beach, California. Wonderful Cassie seems like a great teacher, but Colton doesn’t have a super smooth outing on the waves his first time out.

ABC

After surfing, they have a heart-to-heart on the beach, and Cassie doesn’t give him much to feel secure about as she says she’s not super sure where she’s at with this whole thing. Poppa Cassie is ... not a fan of all of this:

ABC

Cassie talks through her emotions with her sister, who tells her there are hundreds of other men out there if this doesn’t work out, which is honestly great advice. Colton seems to be into Cassie the most, but she’s the only one who hasn’t said she’s falling in love with him at this point of the show. The pair parts ways after the hometown visit with our titular hero super confused about what he’s going to do.

At the rose ceremony, Colton keeps Hannah, Tayshia, and Cassie, sending a heartbroken Caelynn home.

Next week, we get the fabulously dramatic Fantasy Suites, which have an added layer of drama this season as — I don’t know if you’ve heard — Colton is a virgin. Will he sleep with one of the women? WILL HE SLEEP WITH ALL OF THEM? WILL HE FINALLY JUMP THE FENCE?

Here were the highs (and lows) of Week 8:

Best Cookout Addition: Deep fryer

WHAT IS THAT I SEE? Caelynn’s family steps up the normal backdoor grillin’ with a set of not one, not two, but THREE deep fryers. Based on snippets of conversation, there’s a litany of things to deep fry, including cookies. Respect.

ABC

Most Touching Moment: Caelynn and John

I’m a sap, but I’ll admit I got choked up as Caelynn shared with her stepdad John what he’s meant to her. He was touched as she thanked him for everything he’s done for her, and he quotes Whitney Houston as he says he’ll always love her. It was stinkin’ adorable.

Best Death Glare from a Parent: Hannah’s mom Beth

Colton gave a nice toast at the dinner table, saying that he was honored to be in their house and around the people that made Hannah into the wonderful woman she is. This seems to be the moment that Hannah’s mom Beth realizes that this man (or a man in general) is going to marry her daughter and effectively steal her from them. She’s not stoked:

ABC

Don’t piss off Mama Beth.

Riskiest Date Move: Skydiving

As a reminder, Colton made Tayshia bungee jump back on their one-on-one date, but this seems just ... mean. Colton is the actual definition of white-knuckled:

ABC

Look, I come from the school of “never jump out of a perfectly good airplane” as a former naval aviator, but at least I have been through some training. It’s cruel to just spring this on someone! Especially someone scared of heights! Colton does it, but not without a very high-pitched scream and some panicked leg flailing.

They obviously live — man wouldn’t that have been a crazy twist — and it turns into a “wow our relationship is all about pushing each other out of our comfort zones.”

Favorite Family Member: Tayshia’s brother Bryce

UMM, HE’S THE CUTEST. Tayshia’s dad asked Bryce if he wanted to see Tayshia married again (she has been divorced once), and his response was the purest: “If it goes well, then yeah!” You’re a doll, Bryce. A total doll.

ABC

Her other brother is in training to be a federal law enforcement officer, so he threatens to hunt Colton down as an FBI agent. “Man, everybody is going to be after me,” Colton says in response. This is my favorite family.

Weirdest Family Chat Location: The bed

Every hometown visit involves the mom or sister talking, and they inevitably excuse themselves from the normal talking areas — like the living room or the kitchen or the patio — to go to what looks like the guest bedroom to chat on a fully made bed full of pillows.

Has this ever happened naturally in the history of people talking?

Best Quote: Tayshia’s Dad

“You don’t microwave relationships.”

And he made this face after she said that she would say yes if Colton proposed at this stage of the relationship:

ABC

What I really loved about Tayshia’s dad is that he gave Colton advice like a father would. It wasn’t just “don’t break my daughter’s heart,” it was a sincere hope that, no matter which of the four women it was, that Colton would be respectful of their feelings. I’m here for Poppa Tayshia.

Coldest Assessment of Colton: Cassie’s dad

“I didn’t have a strong initial opinion of Colton because I don’t like to draw judgment too quickly. I could tell Colton was being affectionate with Cassie. I don’t know if that’s what he does with all the girls he goes out with and is meeting the parents. We don’t know him, but he seemed like a ... guy.”

LOLOL.

Cassie apparently didn’t know this until the episode aired, and her reaction was perfect:

“He seemed like a guy” HAHAHAHA DAD OMG

— Cassie Randolph (@CassieRandolph) February 26, 2019

Colton Asking for Blessings Power Rankings

This is always a super awkward part of what’s already a super awkward show, but a guy asking a dad for his daughter’s hand in marriage when that guy is still dating three other women is A LOT.

Here’s how it went, from least awkward to most awkward.

4. Caelynn’s dad: Started skeptical, but came around quickly and gave his blessing.

3. Hannah’s dad: “What are your intentions with my daughter, man? You guys have known each other for what, a month?” Good question, dad. There were a lot of awkward pauses, but he seem sincerely touched that Colton asked, and eventually said yes.

2. Tayshia’s dad: His grilling of Colton was thorough and fair, questioning his feelings at this point. After Colton says he’s falling in love with Tayshia, he says Colton seems like a smart man and that he would pick his words wisely regarding “love.” Colton asks for his blessing, and he’s the only one to withhold, saying he just met him. SUPER FAIR, POPS!!! He later changes his mind after chatting with Tayshia, eventually giving his permission.

1. Cassie’s dad: Her dad said giving his permission for her hand in marriage would be a “premature blessing,” and you could see Colton’s spirit just leave his body. You can tell her dad is not a fan of this whole thing and thinks she’s too young and this is too accelerated.

Gone Too Soon

Caelynn

[davidcarterr]

John Rattray Interview

John Rattray has been a friend of Slam City Skates for years. John spent a fair amount of time in London while filming for WFTW, the seminal UK video from Blueprint Skateboards. We were recently in Portland were John now resides and we were stoked that we managed to catch up with him to speak about the Good Egg Project among other things...

Where does this interview find you?

I’m in my house in Portland, Oregon right now. I’m sitting in bed in the attic, it’s Sunday morning and the boy is still asleep downstairs. How long have you been living in Portland for?

I’ve been here for around 5 years.

What’s the best thing about living out there, are there any drawbacks?

It’s an amazing city. It’s got walkable neighbourhoods, it’s pretty well set up for cycling, there are a bunch of skateparks dotted around all over the place. It’s in the Pacific Northwest, which is beautiful. It’s still rapidly expanding and it has the problems of any city really.

What we got to see was really beautiful, do you spend much time out in the mountains?

We try to get out and hike as much as possible. The summer is prime time. That’s when we’ll be hitting the Columbia Gorge and floating the rivers and heading to the coast the most, but through the winter and spring there are spells where you still get out there.

How long have you been working at Nike SB for?

I worked specifically at Nike SB for a little over 3 years. From late 2013 to the start of ‘17.

What’s your role there?

I was digital brand manager, so coordinating all the creative across all the online channels. For the last year I’ve been out of SB in a marketing innovation roll working across all of Nike. It’s been an interesting experience.

It must be nice working with Colin Kennedy again, we met a solid crew out there on this trip...

The Nike SB crew are awesome. I haven’t worked super close with Colin so much as he is strictly Europe. Hopefully things can evolve in that direction.

It was good seeing you do a backside air in Sandy Bodecker’s bowl. You’re still managing to keep skateboarding keen?

I manage to skate once or twice a week at this point. I skate mainly in the weekend mornings with Ivor at either the Nike warehouse or the eastside warehouse that Silas and that crew run. My friend Phil has a key there. Occasionally I get an evening session in at Nike and try to catch an air on the extension, skate the ledge and the euro gap and maintain muscle memory as best I can. It’s still the best to get deep into a session so your mind can switch off for a while.

Do you ever miss the life of being a pro skater or is dad life just as challenging?

I do miss it. Kind of. It’s a weird one. It seems like such a different life to now. It was just me and Philippa, living in California. I managed my own projects, traveling, skating, working towards video and editorial deadlines. It was a dream really but I sometimes feel like I could have done more to set myself up better to deal with…life after skateboarding. Not sure what steps that could have been. Long story short, I’d say dad life is way more challenging than pro-skater life, so yeah, I miss it, but there’s no reverse gear in life, so onward we charge.

Could you imagine yourself living back in Scotland one day in the future?

I totally can, I’m just not sure what I’d do there. Right now I just want to get as much work experience as I can so I can remain employable and moving is realistic. It also gets interesting with Ivor. He’ll be graduating pre-school this summer and we live round the corner from a k-5 school he’ll be going to.

Can you recommend us a book and a film that will enrich our lives?

It’s been a while since I’ve had the time to devote to books and film, which is a bit of a bummer. But if you’ve ever had chronic back pain, check out Healing Back Pain by John Sarno. If you wonder how evolution works, check out The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins. Film-wise, I just saw Coco in the cinema and it had me crying. It’s a good one.

It’s good to catch up with you after many years, we wanted to speak more about the project you just put together. Before we start we want to say that we were very sorry to hear the heartbreaking news about your sister. Lots of love goes out to you from all of us here at Slam.

Back at you.

Did it take long to put together the Good egg Project together?

I started the campaign in around early May ‘17, so about 9 months ago. We did the ride at the beginning of July, so it took a couple of months to get the crew and plan together. But I suppose it had been in the back of my mind for a couple of years before that.

What about getting other people on board?

That just naturally happened. As I put it out there that this was a real mission, friends hit me up to come with and support. It’s another example of the internet as a power for good. A tool that we can choose to use for our betterment.

Had you ever done anything like that for a charity before?

I have not.

Can you tell us a little more about the charity this was for?

I did this in support of the Scottish Association for Mental Health. My cousin started working there after Katrina died and they were there as a registered organization on the Just Giving app that I used to get the campaign going. So, it was a no brainer for me. The SAMH organization specializes in outreach and education around suicide prevention and mental health support in Scotland.

You mentioned filming pieces of this on your phone. Did you have a clear idea of what you needed to capture before you set out?

Capture the ride as best we can. Kurt Hayashi and Jon Humphries did a fantastic job on that. Scott Pommier helped shoot the skate session at Lincoln City. And beyond that it was writing and delivering my own pieces to tell the tale and get some of the points of view of the other crew on the ride. That’s where it gets more improvised and you collage it together based on what people come back with.

Did you edit the piece yourself?

I did.

Was the editing process a learning curve?

Learning curve was not too much. I’ve been consistently working on video projects of varying complexity for a long time. Not on the daily, but enough that I have a decent comprehension of the fundamental principles and can navigate premier fairly quickly. The main difference with this project was the workshopping. Sending work-in-progress versions around a select crew of friends and getting professional feedback on the various iterations as I built and refined the timeline. That process was vital to getting it into a watchable state for someone with not much context. That’s one of my main rules of thumb. Can someone who knows nothing about this, as well as someone who was literally on the trip, both sit and watch this and understand, sentence to sentence exactly what’s going on without getting lost or bored? It’s the same as writing an essay, except with moving images and audio to wrangle. There’re still things I’d do stylistically differently on a future project – I still feel like there’s a little too much straight-up piece-to-camera segments – but for now, I’m happy with how it came together.

What advice would you give to anyone else who wanted to put something like this together?

Make a to-do list. Get started. Go for it.

Was it gnarly physically? You must have had jelly legs when you started hoisting that egg plant out there...

The egg plant was the next day after the ride, so muscles were worked pretty hard, but I think it’s slightly different muscle tissue that’s used for riding distance as opposed to the quick reflexes for skating. That said, yeah, I was not exactly feeling the loosest I’ve ever felt. Definitely tight, but in the bad sense of the word haha.

Photo: Joe Brook

Are you going to throw one into every session now?

I wish. I want to get a good session going soon where I can get to the point of throwing myself upside down. Those sessions are too rare these days.

It’s great to see something positive like this arrive out there. How important do you think things like this are?

I think it’s super important or I wouldn’t have made this thing happen. I’d love to be able to be working on projects like this full time. That would be awesome.

What message do you hope is taken away?

That there is help out there for people with depression. That it’s way more common than we think. And that there are things we can do to help. Raise awareness, talk. I hope that it makes a tough subject a little more accessible by painting it into a positive context. I hope that it shines a little light into a world that can sometimes feel pretty dark.

Can you recommend any reading or support for anyone going through difficulties both suffering from depression or supporting someone who is?

Reading: In Scotland there are resources on the SAMH website. Support: family and friends. I know when you’re in the throes of it you can feel like you have no support, but I’m convinced that everyone has someone. Sometimes it’s luck. Get to the doctor. Chemistry can help symptoms.

Any last words...

I suppose it’s like Cardiel says in the video, there’s a little bit of light, if you can see just that little bit of light, grab onto that, and don’t let go.

This mission was in aid of SAMH who do a bunch of community work, suicide prevention training and mental health outreach around Scotland. In 2016, they carried out 177 suicide interventions and their work has been integral in reducing the suicide rate in Scotland by 17% over the last ten years. Find out more about the charity this was in aid of HERE

John Rattray Interview published first on https://medium.com/@LaderaSkateboar

[davidcarterr]

John Rattray Interview

John Rattray has been a friend of Slam City Skates for years. John spent a fair amount of time in London while filming for WFTW, the seminal UK video from Blueprint Skateboards. We were recently in Portland were John now resides and we were stoked that we managed to catch up with him to speak about the Good Egg Project among other things...

Where does this interview find you?

I’m in my house in Portland, Oregon right now. I’m sitting in bed in the attic, it’s Sunday morning and the boy is still asleep downstairs. How long have you been living in Portland for?

I’ve been here for around 5 years.

What’s the best thing about living out there, are there any drawbacks?

It’s an amazing city. It’s got walkable neighbourhoods, it’s pretty well set up for cycling, there are a bunch of skateparks dotted around all over the place. It’s in the Pacific Northwest, which is beautiful. It’s still rapidly expanding and it has the problems of any city really.

What we got to see was really beautiful, do you spend much time out in the mountains?

We try to get out and hike as much as possible. The summer is prime time. That’s when we’ll be hitting the Columbia Gorge and floating the rivers and heading to the coast the most, but through the winter and spring there are spells where you still get out there.

How long have you been working at Nike SB for?

I worked specifically at Nike SB for a little over 3 years. From late 2013 to the start of ‘17.

What’s your role there?

I was digital brand manager, so coordinating all the creative across all the online channels. For the last year I’ve been out of SB in a marketing innovation roll working across all of Nike. It’s been an interesting experience.

It must be nice working with Colin Kennedy again, we met a solid crew out there on this trip...

The Nike SB crew are awesome. I haven’t worked super close with Colin so much as he is strictly Europe. Hopefully things can evolve in that direction.

It was good seeing you do a backside air in Sandy Bodecker’s bowl. You’re still managing to keep skateboarding keen?

I manage to skate once or twice a week at this point. I skate mainly in the weekend mornings with Ivor at either the Nike warehouse or the eastside warehouse that Silas and that crew run. My friend Phil has a key there. Occasionally I get an evening session in at Nike and try to catch an air on the extension, skate the ledge and the euro gap and maintain muscle memory as best I can. It’s still the best to get deep into a session so your mind can switch off for a while.

Do you ever miss the life of being a pro skater or is dad life just as challenging?

I do miss it. Kind of. It’s a weird one. It seems like such a different life to now. It was just me and Philippa, living in California. I managed my own projects, traveling, skating, working towards video and editorial deadlines. It was a dream really but I sometimes feel like I could have done more to set myself up better to deal with…life after skateboarding. Not sure what steps that could have been. Long story short, I’d say dad life is way more challenging than pro-skater life, so yeah, I miss it, but there’s no reverse gear in life, so onward we charge.

Could you imagine yourself living back in Scotland one day in the future?

I totally can, I’m just not sure what I’d do there. Right now I just want to get as much work experience as I can so I can remain employable and moving is realistic. It also gets interesting with Ivor. He’ll be graduating pre-school this summer and we live round the corner from a k-5 school he’ll be going to.

Can you recommend us a book and a film that will enrich our lives?

It’s been a while since I’ve had the time to devote to books and film, which is a bit of a bummer. But if you’ve ever had chronic back pain, check out Healing Back Pain by John Sarno. If you wonder how evolution works, check out The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins. Film-wise, I just saw Coco in the cinema and it had me crying. It’s a good one.

It’s good to catch up with you after many years, we wanted to speak more about the project you just put together. Before we start we want to say that we were very sorry to hear the heartbreaking news about your sister. Lots of love goes out to you from all of us here at Slam.

Back at you.

Did it take long to put together the Good egg Project together?

I started the campaign in around early May ‘17, so about 9 months ago. We did the ride at the beginning of July, so it took a couple of months to get the crew and plan together. But I suppose it had been in the back of my mind for a couple of years before that.

What about getting other people on board?

That just naturally happened. As I put it out there that this was a real mission, friends hit me up to come with and support. It’s another example of the internet as a power for good. A tool that we can choose to use for our betterment.

Had you ever done anything like that for a charity before?

I have not.

Can you tell us a little more about the charity this was for?

I did this in support of the Scottish Association for Mental Health. My cousin started working there after Katrina died and they were there as a registered organization on the Just Giving app that I used to get the campaign going. So, it was a no brainer for me. The SAMH organization specializes in outreach and education around suicide prevention and mental health support in Scotland.

You mentioned filming pieces of this on your phone. Did you have a clear idea of what you needed to capture before you set out?

Capture the ride as best we can. Kurt Hayashi and Jon Humphries did a fantastic job on that. Scott Pommier helped shoot the skate session at Lincoln City. And beyond that it was writing and delivering my own pieces to tell the tale and get some of the points of view of the other crew on the ride. That’s where it gets more improvised and you collage it together based on what people come back with.

Did you edit the piece yourself?

I did.

Was the editing process a learning curve?

Learning curve was not too much. I’ve been consistently working on video projects of varying complexity for a long time. Not on the daily, but enough that I have a decent comprehension of the fundamental principles and can navigate premier fairly quickly. The main difference with this project was the workshopping. Sending work-in-progress versions around a select crew of friends and getting professional feedback on the various iterations as I built and refined the timeline. That process was vital to getting it into a watchable state for someone with not much context. That’s one of my main rules of thumb. Can someone who knows nothing about this, as well as someone who was literally on the trip, both sit and watch this and understand, sentence to sentence exactly what’s going on without getting lost or bored? It’s the same as writing an essay, except with moving images and audio to wrangle. There’re still things I’d do stylistically differently on a future project – I still feel like there’s a little too much straight-up piece-to-camera segments – but for now, I’m happy with how it came together.

What advice would you give to anyone else who wanted to put something like this together?

Make a to-do list. Get started. Go for it.

Was it gnarly physically? You must have had jelly legs when you started hoisting that egg plant out there...

The egg plant was the next day after the ride, so muscles were worked pretty hard, but I think it’s slightly different muscle tissue that’s used for riding distance as opposed to the quick reflexes for skating. That said, yeah, I was not exactly feeling the loosest I’ve ever felt. Definitely tight, but in the bad sense of the word haha.

Photo: Joe Brook

Are you going to throw one into every session now?

I wish. I want to get a good session going soon where I can get to the point of throwing myself upside down. Those sessions are too rare these days.

It’s great to see something positive like this arrive out there. How important do you think things like this are?

I think it’s super important or I wouldn’t have made this thing happen. I’d love to be able to be working on projects like this full time. That would be awesome.

What message do you hope is taken away?

That there is help out there for people with depression. That it’s way more common than we think. And that there are things we can do to help. Raise awareness, talk. I hope that it makes a tough subject a little more accessible by painting it into a positive context. I hope that it shines a little light into a world that can sometimes feel pretty dark.

Can you recommend any reading or support for anyone going through difficulties both suffering from depression or supporting someone who is?

Reading: In Scotland there are resources on the SAMH website. Support: family and friends. I know when you’re in the throes of it you can feel like you have no support, but I’m convinced that everyone has someone. Sometimes it’s luck. Get to the doctor. Chemistry can help symptoms.

Any last words...

I suppose it’s like Cardiel says in the video, there’s a little bit of light, if you can see just that little bit of light, grab onto that, and don’t let go.

This mission was in aid of SAMH who do a bunch of community work, suicide prevention training and mental health outreach around Scotland. In 2016, they carried out 177 suicide interventions and their work has been integral in reducing the suicide rate in Scotland by 17% over the last ten years. Find out more about the charity this was in aid of HERE

John Rattray Interview published first on https://medium.com/@LaderaSkateboar

[davidcarterr]

John Rattray Interview

John Rattray has been a friend of Slam City Skates for years. John spent a fair amount of time in London while filming for WFTW, the seminal UK video from Blueprint Skateboards. We were recently in Portland were John now resides and we were stoked that we managed to catch up with him to speak about the Good Egg Project among other things...

Where does this interview find you?

I’m in my house in Portland, Oregon right now. I’m sitting in bed in the attic, it’s Sunday morning and the boy is still asleep downstairs. How long have you been living in Portland for?

I’ve been here for around 5 years.

What’s the best thing about living out there, are there any drawbacks?

It’s an amazing city. It’s got walkable neighbourhoods, it’s pretty well set up for cycling, there are a bunch of skateparks dotted around all over the place. It’s in the Pacific Northwest, which is beautiful. It’s still rapidly expanding and it has the problems of any city really.

What we got to see was really beautiful, do you spend much time out in the mountains?

We try to get out and hike as much as possible. The summer is prime time. That’s when we’ll be hitting the Columbia Gorge and floating the rivers and heading to the coast the most, but through the winter and spring there are spells where you still get out there.

How long have you been working at Nike SB for?

I worked specifically at Nike SB for a little over 3 years. From late 2013 to the start of ‘17.

What’s your role there?

I was digital brand manager, so coordinating all the creative across all the online channels. For the last year I’ve been out of SB in a marketing innovation roll working across all of Nike. It’s been an interesting experience.

It must be nice working with Colin Kennedy again, we met a solid crew out there on this trip...

The Nike SB crew are awesome. I haven’t worked super close with Colin so much as he is strictly Europe. Hopefully things can evolve in that direction.

It was good seeing you do a backside air in Sandy Bodecker’s bowl. You’re still managing to keep skateboarding keen?

I manage to skate once or twice a week at this point. I skate mainly in the weekend mornings with Ivor at either the Nike warehouse or the eastside warehouse that Silas and that crew run. My friend Phil has a key there. Occasionally I get an evening session in at Nike and try to catch an air on the extension, skate the ledge and the euro gap and maintain muscle memory as best I can. It’s still the best to get deep into a session so your mind can switch off for a while.

Do you ever miss the life of being a pro skater or is dad life just as challenging?

I do miss it. Kind of. It’s a weird one. It seems like such a different life to now. It was just me and Philippa, living in California. I managed my own projects, traveling, skating, working towards video and editorial deadlines. It was a dream really but I sometimes feel like I could have done more to set myself up better to deal with…life after skateboarding. Not sure what steps that could have been. Long story short, I’d say dad life is way more challenging than pro-skater life, so yeah, I miss it, but there’s no reverse gear in life, so onward we charge.

Could you imagine yourself living back in Scotland one day in the future?

I totally can, I’m just not sure what I’d do there. Right now I just want to get as much work experience as I can so I can remain employable and moving is realistic. It also gets interesting with Ivor. He’ll be graduating pre-school this summer and we live round the corner from a k-5 school he’ll be going to.

Can you recommend us a book and a film that will enrich our lives?

It’s been a while since I’ve had the time to devote to books and film, which is a bit of a bummer. But if you’ve ever had chronic back pain, check out Healing Back Pain by John Sarno. If you wonder how evolution works, check out The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins. Film-wise, I just saw Coco in the cinema and it had me crying. It’s a good one.

It’s good to catch up with you after many years, we wanted to speak more about the project you just put together. Before we start we want to say that we were very sorry to hear the heartbreaking news about your sister. Lots of love goes out to you from all of us here at Slam.

Back at you.

Did it take long to put together the Good egg Project together?

I started the campaign in around early May ‘17, so about 9 months ago. We did the ride at the beginning of July, so it took a couple of months to get the crew and plan together. But I suppose it had been in the back of my mind for a couple of years before that.

What about getting other people on board?

That just naturally happened. As I put it out there that this was a real mission, friends hit me up to come with and support. It’s another example of the internet as a power for good. A tool that we can choose to use for our betterment.

Had you ever done anything like that for a charity before?

I have not.

Can you tell us a little more about the charity this was for?

I did this in support of the Scottish Association for Mental Health. My cousin started working there after Katrina died and they were there as a registered organization on the Just Giving app that I used to get the campaign going. So, it was a no brainer for me. The SAMH organization specializes in outreach and education around suicide prevention and mental health support in Scotland.

You mentioned filming pieces of this on your phone. Did you have a clear idea of what you needed to capture before you set out?

Capture the ride as best we can. Kurt Hayashi and Jon Humphries did a fantastic job on that. Scott Pommier helped shoot the skate session at Lincoln City. And beyond that it was writing and delivering my own pieces to tell the tale and get some of the points of view of the other crew on the ride. That’s where it gets more improvised and you collage it together based on what people come back with.

Did you edit the piece yourself?

I did.

Was the editing process a learning curve?

Learning curve was not too much. I’ve been consistently working on video projects of varying complexity for a long time. Not on the daily, but enough that I have a decent comprehension of the fundamental principles and can navigate premier fairly quickly. The main difference with this project was the workshopping. Sending work-in-progress versions around a select crew of friends and getting professional feedback on the various iterations as I built and refined the timeline. That process was vital to getting it into a watchable state for someone with not much context. That’s one of my main rules of thumb. Can someone who knows nothing about this, as well as someone who was literally on the trip, both sit and watch this and understand, sentence to sentence exactly what’s going on without getting lost or bored? It’s the same as writing an essay, except with moving images and audio to wrangle. There’re still things I’d do stylistically differently on a future project – I still feel like there’s a little too much straight-up piece-to-camera segments – but for now, I’m happy with how it came together.

What advice would you give to anyone else who wanted to put something like this together?

Make a to-do list. Get started. Go for it.

Was it gnarly physically? You must have had jelly legs when you started hoisting that egg plant out there...

The egg plant was the next day after the ride, so muscles were worked pretty hard, but I think it’s slightly different muscle tissue that’s used for riding distance as opposed to the quick reflexes for skating. That said, yeah, I was not exactly feeling the loosest I’ve ever felt. Definitely tight, but in the bad sense of the word haha.

Photo: Joe Brook

Are you going to throw one into every session now?

I wish. I want to get a good session going soon where I can get to the point of throwing myself upside down. Those sessions are too rare these days.

It’s great to see something positive like this arrive out there. How important do you think things like this are?

I think it’s super important or I wouldn’t have made this thing happen. I’d love to be able to be working on projects like this full time. That would be awesome.

What message do you hope is taken away?

That there is help out there for people with depression. That it’s way more common than we think. And that there are things we can do to help. Raise awareness, talk. I hope that it makes a tough subject a little more accessible by painting it into a positive context. I hope that it shines a little light into a world that can sometimes feel pretty dark.

Can you recommend any reading or support for anyone going through difficulties both suffering from depression or supporting someone who is?

Reading: In Scotland there are resources on the SAMH website. Support: family and friends. I know when you’re in the throes of it you can feel like you have no support, but I’m convinced that everyone has someone. Sometimes it’s luck. Get to the doctor. Chemistry can help symptoms.

Any last words...

I suppose it’s like Cardiel says in the video, there’s a little bit of light, if you can see just that little bit of light, grab onto that, and don’t let go.

Find out more about the charity this was in aid of HERE

John Rattray Interview published first on https://medium.com/@LaderaSkateboar

[junker-town]

Actually correct rankings of the core Super Mario games

Polygon, we love you, but you’re wrong about Mario.

Super Mario Bros. and all of the core series that have spilled out from it are wonderful. We don’t dislike any of the core adventures of the little (?) Italian (?) plumber (?), but there are definitely games we love more than others. With Super Mario Odyssey released and the entirety of SB Nation MLB’s team playing it and loving it, we thought it was a good time to rank the 18 core games ourselves.

And also because our sister site Polygon recently did that and we are still mad about it days later and feel the need to right the great injustice that has been done to us. Love you, Polygon! Maybe we can settle this over Mario Kart someday.

Rather than try to get myself, Grant Brisbee, and Whitney McIntosh to agree on one singular ranking that would likely result in us never speaking to each other again, we have three separate but equally correct lists for you. The important thing here is that we’re all more correct than Polygon, who we are definitely not starting a feud with just to increase traffic across the network.

Marc Normandin’s actually correct Super Mario game ranking

18. New Super Mario Bros. DS 17. Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels 16. Super Mario Land 15. Super Mario Bros. 2 14. Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins 13. Super Mario Bros. 12. New Super Mario Bros. 2 11. New Super Mario Bros. Wii 10. Super Mario 64 9. Super Mario Sunshine 8. Super Mario World 7. Super Mario 3D Land 6. New Super Mario Bros. Wii U 5. Super Mario Galaxy 4. Super Mario Bros. 3 3. Super Mario Odyssey 2. Super Mario Galaxy 2 1. Super Mario 3D World

Important first note: Super Mario Bros. 3 would be ranked higher if there were more levels with Kuribo’s Shoe.

Super Mario 64 is great! It also has not aged particularly well, however, and Mario is an area where Nintendo has continued to push forward and improve across the board — this isn’t Star Fox, y’all. That’s why Mario 64 sits in the middle now: it’s so much clearly better than everything but the absolute classics that preceded it, but it lags behind much of the new that it helped build the foundation for. That’s much less depressing than “is still the best 20-plus years later.”

New Super Mario Bros. DS ranks last because it’s one of the only soulless Mario games that exists within the core series. Much better games sprung from it, including the overlooked sequel that focused heavily on Mario collecting coins and the greatest-hits-and-more feel of New Super Mario Bros. Wii U, but the initial entry was just sort of a reminder that Nintendo could still make sidescrolling Mario games even in a modern gaming world.

Super Mario 3D World comes out on top for me as it’s the perfect distillation of everything incredible about 2D Mario and 3D Mario and, unlike with the New Super Mario Bros. series, still feels like a brand new experience and innovation. If Super Mario Odyssey — which honestly has potential to be at the top of this list someday, but I’ve got many more hours and years to sink into it before I can say that — is perfection built upon the foundation of Super Mario 64, then Super Mario 3D World is that for Super Mario World — it invites exploration, there are countless secrets, and you can spend dozens and dozens and DOZENS of hours in the game without solving all of its mysteries.

Plus, it has multiplayer as good as that of New Super Mario. Bros’ series, but without the downside of the game being lessened when you play solo. It’s engrossing either way, fun for completely different reasons played alone or with friends/frenemies, and, for me, is everything right and good about Mario in its superior form.

It’s overlooked in part because it’s on Nintendo’s worst-selling console of all-time, and that’s no small thing. If you’ve got a Wii U, though, and haven’t played it, do so. If you have a Switch, then hope that Nintendo will release an updated version for that like they did with Mario Kart 8.

Speaking of the Wii U, Super Mario Maker is better than a number of the games on this list, but I’ll let you figure out which ones.

Whitney McIntosh’s actually correct Super Mario game ranking

18. New Super Mario Bros. DS 17. Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels 16. Super Mario Bros. 2 15. New Super Mario Bros. Wii 14. Super Mario Land 13. New Super Mario Bros. 2 12. Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins 11. Super Mario Bros. 10. New Super Mario Bros. Wii U 9. Super Mario Sunshine 8. Super Mario Galaxy 7. Super Mario 3D Land 6. Super Mario 3D World 5. Super Mario Odyssey 4. Super Mario Galaxy 2 3. Super Mario 64 2. Super Mario World 1. Super Mario Bros. 3

The most important thing you should know about these rankings is that, as much as possible, I battled my emotional attachment to the games in pursuit of an accurate, realistic ranking of Mario games.

With Super Mario 64 though, I threw that restraint out the window. It was the game that made me truly addicted with each subsequent game in the series, and spurred me to go back and play ones that I had skipped over before that. Has it been surpassed in various categories by games that have come after it? Sure. Was it the peak of Nintendo’s Mario output before that point and pave the way for much of what was built down the line? Unquestionably the case.

So it’s third for me, but that’s only buoyed by my addiction very slightly. Super Mario Bros. 3 is the pinnacle, as many people can agree, and while I haven’t spent as much time as I’d like with Odyssey just yet it’s already in my Top 5 thanks to the level of detail put into the game and how easy it is to enjoy the depth of the world while also having a great-ass time.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least give a shoutout to Super Mario Land which doesn’t always get its due credit because of the tangential connection it has to the rest of the core games and the jump in quality to Six Golden Coins. My 8-9-10 choices could also reasonably be swapped into any order for those three slots, but they had to go somewhere and there’s only so much time in my day to argue with myself about this.

The important thing is that New Super Mario Bros. DS is last. And it should always be last.

Grant Brisbee’s actually correct Super Mario game ranking

18. Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels 17. Super Mario Land 16. Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins 15. Super Mario Bros. 2 14. New Super Mario Bros. DS 13. New Super Mario Bros. Wii 12. New Super Mario Bros. 2 11. Super Mario 3D World 10 .New Super Mario Bros. Wii U 9. Super Mario 3D Land 8. Super Mario Galaxy 7. Super Mario Galaxy 2 6. Super Mario Bros. 5. Super Mario Sunshine 4. Super Mario Odyssey 3. Super Mario Bros. 3 2. Super Mario World 1. Super Mario 64

Quick explanations :

Lost Levels was too damned hard, and the payoff for mastering whatever it took to reach the next level wasn’t enough. I got frustrated quickly when it came to the States, and it felt like a slog to beat it with save states on an emulator, just to be a completionist.

Game Boy games were pretty bad, everyone. Better than previous portable options. Still nothing that I want to play today.

Super Mario Bros. 2 was fun, and I loved the ability to choose between a floaty Peach and a springy Luigi (like anyone played as Toad or Mario). But even before I knew it wasn’t developed as a Mario game, it didn’t feel like a Mario game. Give me koopas or give me death. Or, at least, another game.

All of the New Super Mario Bros. built on the mechanics of what came before them, and they were all very fun, but I don’t remember picking my jaw off the floor for any of them. I had to Google a bunch of them to see which ones were which, actually.

The Galaxy games were incredibly fun, and I loved the wackiness of exploring the 3D space in a circular way. Super creative and highly recommended.

Imagine growing up on Adventure and Pitfall and then playing the first Super Mario Bros. for the first time. Well, guess what, I’m an old and that was me. The secrets in that game, man. Warps and hidden 1UPs were fresh and amazing, and you had to find this crap out on your own or through a pre-internet whisper network. Or Nintendo Power.

Sunshine was a blast and highly underrated, even if the cannon did piss me off occasionally.

Odyssey might be the best game I’ve ever played, unless it’s not even the best Switch game to come out this year, but I’ll need to finish it before putting it first.

Super Mario Bros. 3 stretched the limits of what was possible on the NES, and it’s one of the rare games from that system that still feels fresh to a kid today. There’s still nothing like getting a Tanooki suit.

I actually played Super Mario World for a focus group before it came out, and we were told to play it and Sonic the Hedgehog and give them our thoughts. All of us spent way more time with Sonic and complained that Super Mario World was too complicated and esoteric. I still feel bad about that, and I wonder if I contributed to someone in Japan freaking out about how the game was going to be received. It’s such a clean, crisp game that’s filled with all of the Easter eggs of SMB 3, but deeper. Even though the game was harder, it was more forgiving because of the ability to save, and it was richly rewarding.

But nothing in my life will top what it was like to play Mario 64 for the first time. I get the complaint that it doesn’t hold up, but I’ve played it within the last year, and I don’t agree with those complaints at all. The wonder of that game and the different environments were special, but for my money, I loved the variety. Here, get this penguin baby back to its mother. Not that one, you idiot. Here, shoot out of a cannon and break away a wall. Race this thing. Fly around and get that thing. Collect those things. The best part might have been trying to figure out the cryptic names of each star.

Mario 64 took the simple “reach the flagpole” idea from the first games and blew it up. Complete your tasks in order, or don’t! Spend a few hours in this world, then move to the next, and come back at your leisure.

The rabbit still pisses me off, and that’s a good thing.

While Odyssey is an incredible experience, I’m not sure if it would be the same if I didn’t already have my long jumpin’ and triple jumpin’ down. That’s why the only correct ranking has Super Mario 64 at the top, and I yield to the floor.

[junker-town]

Three Athletics rookies did something that hasn’t been done in 103 years

In Sunday’s Say Hey, Baseball, we look at an incredible baseball feat, the possibility of a Cardinals rebuild, and a major gap in Cody Bellinger’s pop culture knowledge.

Listen, we know it’s tough to catch up on everything happening in the baseball world each morning. There are all kinds of stories, rumors, game coverage, and Vines of dudes getting hit in the beans every day. Trying to find all of it while on your way to work or sitting at your desk just isn’t easy. It’s OK, though. We’re going to do the heavy lifting for you each morning and find the things you need to see from within the SB Nation baseball network, as well as from elsewhere. Please hold your applause until the end, or at least until after you subscribe to the newsletter.

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The Athletics have had a tough few years. Their team, which had an enviable amount of success and promise from 2012-2014, cratered in 2015 and hasn't been able to recover. But the future of the Athletics is bright. The "I've gotta wear shades" kind of bright. And everyone had to put on those shades on Saturday when in one single game their future put on a marvelous fireworks show of home runs. Rookies Matt Olson, Jaycob Brugman and Franklin Barreto all hit their very first major league home runs in three straight innings against the White Sox.

James Shields was the unlucky pitcher on the other side of all three homers. And it started almost right away when Olson, the second batter of the game, hit a two-run jack in the first inning. In the second inning, Brugman hit a solo shot. And then in the third inning, Barreto hit a two-run homer. Barreto was making his major league debut after being promoted just a few hours before game time, and hadn't had time to sleep or eat before the game started. (Hopefully he doesn't consider tiredness and hunger good luck charms from now on.) It definitely wasn't Shields' lucky day — he lasted just three innings and gave up six runs, but he managed to get his 2,000th career strikeout anyway.

To say this is rare is to call the Hope Diamond a big rock. This is something that hasn't been done since 1914, 103 years ago. It was done by Duke Kenworthy, Art Kruger and John Potts, who played for the Kansas City Packers (a team in the now-obviously-defunct Federal League). 1914 isn't just a century ago, it's galaxies away from the kind of baseball that's played today, which just makes it all the more ridiculous and wonderful (not to mention historical). Honestly, the fact that it's been done even once before is incredible. A team would have to have three rookies in their lineup, all who have never hit a major league homer before, and they'd all have to face a pitcher who was ready to give up dingers. Well, "ready" probably isn't the right word there. James Shields wasn't ready to give up those home runs. But now he's part of history, just like Olson, Brugman, and Barreto.

The Athletics have had a rough few years, but their future is full of promise. And everyone saw it explode in to reality in the span of just three innings.

Ben Markham of Viva El Birdos makes a convincing case for the Cardinals to completely tear everything down and rebuild the team, even though he admits it has a "0% chance of happening."

We haven't heard much about Gary Sanchez this season, but doesn't mean he isn't playing well. And saying he's "playing well" is a huge understatement.

John Farrell got up close and personal with umpire Bill Miller last night. He was so up close and personal that Miller ejected him for allegedly poking him in the chest.

The Giants are having a bad season, but at least that means they get to experiment with some of their minor league guys, like power hitter Ryder Jones.

Jays closer Roberto Osuna is dealing with anxiety issues off the field right now, and has shown courage in speaking out about it.

Matt Adams is apparently drawing a lot of interest on the trade market, and this solution to the Braves' first base logjam seems a lot easier than moving Freddie Freeman to third base.

Kendrys Morales came back to Kansas City for the first time since he signed with the Blue Jays, and so Royals Review decided to look back and Morales' five best moments wearing Royals blue.

Ready to feel old? Young Dodgers phenom Cody Bellinger went on SportsCenter with Scott Van Pelt and admitted that he had no idea who Jerry Seinfeld is.

[junker-town]

'Air Bud' is good

20 years later, a fresh look at the classic film.

I’ve never seen Air Bud. Think about how weird that is: The movie came out in 1997. I was eight, the perfect age to see a movie about a dog that plays basketball. Everybody saw Air Bud. Everybody loved Air Bud. The Air Bud franchise was to children in the ’90s as the 50 Shades of Gray franchise is to suburban moms now, just with more sports and no sex stuff.

And yet, I missed it. I blame this on the fact that I’m an only child whose parents are more into Proust than they are Disney movies (they’re very smart and wonderful people). But because I didn’t have cable or siblings to tell me what was cool, I grew up watching PBS and not knowing the lyrics to the Spice Girls’ songs. My 1990s cultural blindspots still haunt me. Case in point: Kel Mitchell went to Super Bowl media night as his Good Burger character, and I got mercilessly roasted when I asked my colleagues who the guy in the fast food uniform was.

I’m telling you this to explain why I’m sitting at my desk watching Air Bud in the SB Nation offices at 4:25 pm on a Thursday. This year marks the 20th anniversary of the film’s release, the NBA trade deadline is over, the Oscars are this weekend. I felt like only way I could create content of dubious quality honoring all three momentous occasions at once was to finally watch Air Bud and blog my experience.

I also want to see if you guys have been right this whole time. Is Air Bud as good as everyone’s been saying it is for the past 20 years? Let’s find out.

HERE WE GO!

The movie opens on an idyllic country road, and, oh my god, what is happening? A giant wooden clown head is cresting over a hill. It’s perched on top of a pickup truck driven by a guy dressed as a clown.

I’m confused. Is this a horror film or a movie for children? Is Air Bud actually the prequel to Saw? Has everyone has been lying to me about this movie a part of some sick, elaborate prank?

Things start to make more sense when I see a dog in the back of the pickup truck. I’m pretty sure it’s Air Bud himself, dressed up as a clown.

It turns out that Bad Clown Dude performs at kid’s birthday parties, and Air Bud is his sidekick who does tricks with balls. Bad Clown Dude is a real dick. He beats Air Bud and decides to take the dog to the pound after things go awry at the party. I hate this man with my entire being.

Fortunately, the gate of the pickup truck is down, so Air Bud’s crate — with Air bud locked in it — falls out the back. Trucks are screaming by as he’s trapped in the middle of the road, and then he gets hit by a car.

I mean, not, like, badly, but hard enough so that his crate topples over and he pops out. I know I’m not supposed to laugh right now, but a dog in a clown suit is pretty funny. The mom driving the SUV that hit him is like, “Huh, hit a dog, whoops,” and then keeps driving.

What kind of monster hits a dog and doesn’t stop to save it?

We can tell that her son Josh — who’s sitting up front because no one gave a damn about air bags in the 1990s and we all turned out okay, okay? — is the main character by the way the camera lingers on his face. He longingly watches Air Bud trot down the road behind the car.

Josh and his family have just moved to Fernville, Washington to be near his mom’s relatives after his dad passed away. A shot of Josh in his empty room holding a box of stuff shows us how lonely and sad he is. In the kitchen, Josh’s mom is on the phone having conversation that clearly isn’t relevant to the plot but intrigues me, because I hear her say, “I understand that Bolivia didn’t get the napkins, and Venezuela did?”

“Napkins” is definitely code for “cocaine.” Josh’s mom is an international drug lord.

Drug Dealer Mom hangs up on whatever cartel runner she was talking to and asks Josh how school was. Josh says his first line of the whole movie: “It sucks.”

School does, indeed, suck; Josh tries to sign up for the basketball team, but the asshole coach makes him be the manager instead. I feel bad for the kid, but things start looking up when he finds a magical basketball court behind his house. It’s on the edge of a beautiful lake surrounded by mountains, and it’s a good thing Drug Dealer Mom is a kingpin, because otherwise this family wouldn’t be able to afford such prime real estate.

There are bits and pieces of a clown suit strewn about the court. We hear barking from the bushes. And then ****SPOILER ALERT**** Air Bud shows up! He eats a pudding cup that must’ve fallen out of Josh’s backpack. Pudding can’t be good for dogs, but Air Bud is dirty and hungry, so we aren’t supposed to care.

Josh picks up a basketball and tosses it to Air Bud. Because he’s a trained clown dog, Air Bud can balls out, and the two pals have the time of their lives playing together. I start laughing because it’s so delightful, but I’m also tearing up, because it’s very moving to see Josh finally make a friend.

I’m starting to understand why everyone loves this movie so much.

Josh brings Air Bud home. Air Bud eats Spaghetti-Os in the bathroom, and I will honestly be shocked if this dog is alive in ten minutes given all the crap this boy has fed it. There are five open cans of Spaghetti-Os on the ground. The poor animal is going to have to get his stomach pumped.

Josh is wearing a suit of old time-y rain gear. He gives Air Bud a bath and brushes his teeth.

Drug Dealer Mom comes home from dealing drugs and gets pissed when Air Bud spills paint all over the house. But she lets Josh keep the dog, because if she didn’t, the movie would be over.

Now we’re at the school gym, where Josh meets a kind, older man who works as a janitor there, because what would a ’90s movie be without a non-threatening black man whose backstory is developed just enough — but not more — to serve the narrative needs of the white protagonist? It turns out that this guy was a great basketball player for the Knicks, and I’m like, “Uh, why would a former NBA player now be working as a janitor at a middle school in Washington state as opposed to sipping margaritas in Tulum or hosting a show on ESPN?”

But I let it go, because I start wondering what happened to Josh in real life. What if Josh is hot now?

He is. I just Googled him. Check out how hot Josh is.

He’s over-groomed, but the man looks good. This is not a Haley Joel Osment situation.

Things are getting better for Josh. Buddy (that’s what Josh calls Air Bud) performs basketball tricks during halftime after Josh makes the team. Josh even has a friend, this kid with an aggressive bowl cut who carries around an orange peel that Scotty Pippen once threw away, as well as a piece of chewed-up gum that Dennis Rodman once spit out. I don’t know where he’s getting all this famous trash. The boys put it in their socks for good luck.

The asshole coach ends up getting fired when the principal catches him pelting Trash Kid with basketballs in a dark gym. This feels a little heavy for a children’s movie, but it works as a plot device, because it means that the basketball-great-turned-janitor can take over the team as Good Coach and preach the beauty of teamwork.

The inevitable Scary Moment Where Everything Could Fall Apart comes when Bad Clown Dude shows up to reclaim Air Bud. Josh steals Air Bud back, but worries that he’s just going to get taken again. So he hops a ferry with the dog and goes to an island.

“Go on Buddy, you’re free now,” Josh says, crying, as he makes Buddy leave him. I feel this sharp pain in my chest. Buddy hops into the water, whining as he watches Josh get carried away.

I’m softly crying. I’m glad I didn’t watch this movie when I was little because I don’t know that I could’ve handled heartbreak at such an early age.

Josh is back at school playing basketball. I’m still broken up over the fact that he left his goddamn dog on a goddamn island. But then we hear barking and — could it be?! — BUDDY RETURNS! Thank god I only had to suffer like that for seven minutes.

Josh’s team only has four players on the court because one just got hurt. There’s no rule that dogs can’t play basketball, so Buddy, wearing little doggie basketball shoes and an adorable doggie jersey, checks in. I’m laughing and crying again as I watch Josh and Buddy win the game.

It’s 6 p.m. now, and the office is emptying out.

I breathe a sigh of relief knowing there are only 15 minutes left and more truly bad shit can’t happen. But there’s going to be some slightly bad shit, because Bad Clown Dude shows up again.

Drug Dealer Mom says something along the lines of, “Hell no, you’re not taking my dog!” Bad Clown Dude goes, “I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT!” Donald Trump plagiarized Air Bud.

I guess legal fees don’t matter when you’re Drug Dealer Mom and want to be sure your kid doesn’t lose his dog, because here we are, in court. Thankfully, Good Coach shows up and saves the day; it turns out that he used to be the old, curmudgeonly judge’s favorite player.

Good Coach proposes that Buddy choose who he wants to belong to. After a few suspenseful pump-fakes, Air Bud obviously chooses Josh, jumping up to give him a hug. The movie ends with a huge crowd cheering outside the courthouse.

Hulu asks me if I want to watch Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco. Yes, Hulu, that’s literally all I want, but it would be weird to stay in the office until 9 p.m. watching another kid’s movie about dogs, and I’m emotionally exhausted, so I go home.

THE VERDICT:

Air Bud is good. I love Air Bud. I think I probably would’ve questioned less — why is Josh wearing foul weather gear to take a bath with his dog? Why are bullies in ’90s movies always chewing gum? Why do the feds never show up to investigate Drug Dealer Mom? — if I’d seen this as a kid.

But I’m glad I didn’t. Watching it now reminded me what it felt like to be a child. It brought me back to the days when all I worried about was if my crush would pick me to be on his soccer team at recess and if there was a new episode of Wishbone that night. When a new set of baseball cards could bring infinite happiness.

Air Bud stands the test of time. It’s a cinematic masterpiece that gave me a respite from being an adult almost two hours. What could be better than that?