#and saw me thru two major deaths

[gasping-ghostzes]

Back on my 9-1-1 grind! So here is my little info dump of what’s going on was of the most recent episode!!!

CW: for mentions and details of suicide

1- Bobby,

This man was literally plotting his suicide this episode, or more like acting on it? But first, when he handed in his resignation, I didn’t realise it until thinking about it after the episode finished, but that was his way of preparing the 118 of his absence. Him retiring and having the LAFD be able to replace him with another captain wouldn’t be seen as suspicious especially given his age (no shade to him ❤️) but also just what he’s been thru in recent years. Like the moments of him interacting with the characters one on one and giving them little bits of unjudgmental advice and praise really kind of confirmed it. Also the part where Buck thanks him, and he’s like “it’s been my pleasure kid”, just seemed so off to me, not that it’s outside of Bobby’s character to say that, but the scene of it playing out… u could tell shit was gonna get bad

2- Hen!

I clocked it the moment I saw the lady on screen and the moment Mara and Denny was like “oh yeah, our mums r gonna adopt Mara!” And I could just tell that this lady was gonna pull her strings to stop that from happening! But also, to me, the things that was used as evidence as to why Hem and Karen shouldn’t be allowed to adopt Mara was such blatant bias. Like I know that Hen hasn’t been known to always follow the rules, but she done it with the intent and knowledge that doing it will give her patients a fighting chance, more of a chance than letting them die because she was too strict on following the rules.

3- Eddie…

So, Edmundo? Yeah he needs to go get proper help…

However, ppl saying that his love of Shanon is out of character completely, aren’t thinking about what we know about Eddie hard enough. One, he only got married to Shanon because he got her pregnant and it was advised by his church that it’s the right thing to do… but it was the same with Shanon, she was pregnant and likely had been given thw same advice. But they were both decently young when Christopher was born, so the fact that they held their religion values so close, may have been the reason they never wanted a divorce even after having a more than clear dysfunctional life. But after Shanon died, Eddie never had that option Yknow? Like when Shanon left, there was likely always a part of him that knew she’d come back around eventually because she and him both felt slightly obligated to do so, but that didn’t mean they didn’t live each other, it was just more than dysfunctional. So her death, to him was a permanent state of her never being able to come back for him and Chris to have closure and never continue the attempts of having the average family experience.

Two, Him seeing Kim, a woman who looks like his previous first love, and wanting to have some sort of relationship with her is unhealthy, but it makes sense… he’s claimed to be a “nester” and that’s what he does, so seeing a woman who looks exactly like what he envisioned as who he would “nest” with since he was young, was more than likely triggering.

Three, him never gaining that closure from Shanon and instead wanting to find it in Kim now means he’s able to live a literal delusion. One where he doesn’t exactly acknowledge that what they had was dysfunctional (ignore the word, I can’t find another to describe them accurately) and one where he can “fix” his mistakes. I think the only reason he misses Shanon and speaks of her so highly is because she was as close to a normal life he could get…

Like from what we knew about his life growing up, it definitely wasn’t the best. So him getting to fix that aspects and making sure to give Christopher better childhood. So him having this average, perfect marriage would’ve definitely been apart of him fabricating this perfect life that He, Christopher and Shanon all had is his way of coping how the majority of his life has been uncontrollable. Like Kim coming back with a new hair cut and style only made that fantasy worse. To him that’s not Kim, that’s a Shanon with the dysfunction, cause more than likely, Eddie didn’t tell Kim exactly how him and Shanon worked…

So seeing Kim as Shanon, a version of Shanon who has no “memory” of who she and Eddie were both separate and together was basically his shot at getting a second chance… which I know he isn’t gonna exactly convince himself that Kim is literally Shanon, but that’s not gonna stop him from projecting this skewed and inaccurate version of Shanon he wanted and needed in Kim

[lizzyaka]

HAIII ITS ME THE ANON!! im ngl i genuinely gasped when i read your rentry and saw tsh and yttd in the same line like those two are such mismatched interests i never expected to see anyone else like them both 😭😭😭

I GET YOUR ATTACHMENT TO SHIN BRO. Also based on your yttd faves i have a feeling you went thru all the stages of grief with the bio-siblings revelation…… idk just a feeling hehe. NO BUT YTTD MAKING IT SO ONLY ONE SIBLING GETS TO LIVE WAS SO??!???? i never emotionally recovered from that . regarding my yttd fav i’d say its shin but it has been so long since i played the game i barely know his character anymore ;;;;; lowkey i also fw almost all the floor masters. midori/sou was my bunny corcoran back in the day (in the sense that theyre both problematic-ish characters that the fandom hates but i enjoy their character guiltily)

and for my tsh faves oooh boy… as u can see by my username… richard and bunny are so deeply personal to me . theyre not favorites in the “i love them ❤️ my scrunklies” way but in the “I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM” way. like i am fully aware they are horrible people but as characters??? Theyre written so well to the point i cant help but think about them every second daily

beware of the shin tsukimi to richard papen pipeline!!!! this may be reaching and i fear im mischaracterizing shin (you are free to correct me on this. let out the inner shin fan out) but if you squint real hard….. theyre both liars who pretend to be someone theyre not and theyre also both pathetic losers (i say this very affectionately) who are just trying to survive (what is richard even surviving from. he is nawt in a majority vote death game)

i have yapped too much i apologize </3 i appreciate you defending bunny from the allegations actually we need more bunny defenders in the fandom (and less francis fans.. cough) . i dont have any specific questions about yttd bc my memory of that game has gotten foggy sadly but we could always talk about yttd to jog up my memory of it !!!

NAURRR DONT BRING UP 2-2 im gonna be honest w u i have played yttd a total of 7 times (this is so embarrassing i want to crawl into a hole and never come out) and 2-2 has never once failed to devastate i cannot express just how badly it affected me. last time i played was over a year and a half ago im trying to forget as much about it as i can so i can replay the whole thing w fresh eyes when 3-2 comes out but i doubt thats gonna be possible since i fear the only person in the world who knows yttd better than me is nankidai himself. I promise ur jaw would have dropped to the floor if u had met me 1-3 years earlier i cant stress how bad the obsession was, theres a couple of people who follow me here who knew me then who can testify😭 it was actually bonkers i ate slept and breathed yttd

I CANT STAND THE FLOORMASTERS BROO i heavily fw rio ranger and safalin BUT THE REST? BOOOO midori actually makes me sooo fucking violent sorry hes by far my least favorite😭 i can see why u like him trustt i just have a vendetta against him

AND I KNOW WHAT U MEAN ESP W BUNNY bro won me over im not sorry. Yes hes awful yes he would borderline hate crime me but i stand with bunny what can i say

[amaranthsynthesis]

omg uhhhh ok let me break it down and shake it upside down, we can see what falls out

i would kill for you - oh absolutely. doesn’t even need a reason tbh, just vibes, ‘i saw this flower and thought of you’ except it’s about killing a rando off the street (head is still going in a vase tho)

i would kill anyone who laid a hand on you - i think this actually surprises Ballard the first time it happens with Gortash, because he’s never had someone he particularly cared for at all before—no one has broken thru that empathy barrier. but i think it’s before they’re even fucking, there’s like some meeting or semi public event and someone insults Gortash in a serious and potentially damaging way, or gets pushy, and Ballard just. doesn’t even think about it, just takes them out at the knees and crushes their windpipe. it takes two seconds and it’s a toss up if it shocks Ballard or Gortash more

this reflex gets tested a looooot when Astarion starts sharing his history

please let me kill for you/please let my show my devotion by dirtying my hands, it’s the only way i know how - the core of Ballard is duty; it is the skeleton everything else is hung upon, and his nature as a weapon or an attack dog as drummed into him by the Matron Halvyriin and later Sceleritas is the majority of the tendon and muscle that makes the skeleton move. he DOESN’T believe he has any other actionable or useful skills except for violence and murder, but he also has not experienced a problem he couldn’t solve by beating it to death, so.

it takes a while for Gortash and the party, later, to edge into Ballards affections, and longer for anyone to edge past THAT into something romantic or someone he wants to impress or make proud, but the second that happens he’s handing them the leash or the scabbard or whatever else they need. just take it, just use him, he was made for this.

let me destroy anything that hurts you - same as the second one, but with more ripping and tearing and personal enmity. he will make it linger, he will make it hurt, he will make it a production and a gift

i’ve hurt you too - pre tadpole, this doesn’t concern Ballard. yes, he has; that’s what people do. he will do it on purpose, even, just to see what happens. he would let Gortash hurt him too, just to see what happens.

when Astarion finally breaks down and they have that conversation about agency and consent, and Ballard figures out that their entire arrangement thus far has not been what he thought, and was very definitely Not Good for Astarion? it concerns him a lot!! it’s kind of a big deal!

i’m destroying myself - the shadow cursed lands is probably the worst place to have an existential crisis, but Ballard struggles to reconcile the knowledge that he’s hurt Astarion with this bone deep drive to kill to protect and avenge His People. there is rending and wailing and both metaphorical and literal self-flagellation, and he goes off on his own for a bit about it to throw a proper temper tantrum and just wreck something (and himself) down to rubble.

Ballard doesn’t really have a working understanding of good person/bad person, so he doesn’t have to debate if he is or is not a terrible man, but he also can’t settle that inner turmoil by reaching a grand philosophical understanding. he doesn’t find a conclusion by himself so much as he wears himself out, sporting some broken bones and a lot of bruises. he ends up going to Astarion to try to explain it and to ask what he wants Ballard to do. it’s not atonement, or about guilt or forgiveness, not really. it’s about unpaid debt and balances; when Astarion determines the scales are equal again, he will be satisfied.

that’s never something Ballard realizes or understands, pre tadpole. not consciously. but Gortash sees it, and has definitely used it both to manipulate and to soothe, as the situation requires and his mood dictates.

actually the best ship dynamic is i would kill for you. i would kill anyone who layed a hand on you. please let me kill for you. please let me show my devotion by dirtying my hands, it's the only way i know how. let me destroy anything that hurts you. i've hurt you too. i'm destroying myself.

[baekhvuns]

BAEKSY I'LL KMS FOR REAL 😭 YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED. So my messages didn't go through, I literally deleted and re-installed the app, but it logged me out and I couldn't access my account - not that I use it. But I couldn't message you without it 🤡🤡🤡🤡 I tried on desktop, but the messages wouldn't send... this fucking app is really against me.

Anyways, I've been so busy and in a slump, March was rough, so was April, hopefully May is better 🙉 except my allergies won't leave me alone and the cherry blossom season almost took me out. I almost didn't survive 2 weeks in Japan, but Korea wasn't much better. But I persisted somehow. Work is also kicking my ass, the good thing is I have days off every once in a while, so whenever I'm done with work I can travel or have fun, but sometimes I just stay inside and rot ahdjdksjwisiajak

How are you doing and do you know a date of your graduation? Maybe I should show up to the Avo Uni 👀 I'm travelling to Canada in a few months actually - DV 💖

omg im so sorry this is late my notifications for tumblr have been glitching so i don’t get any 😭😭

BAEKSY I'LL KMS FOR REAL 😭 YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED. So my messages didn't go through, I literally deleted and re-installed the app, but it logged me out and I couldn't access my account - not that I use it. But I couldn't message you without it 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 I tried on desktop, but the messages wouldn't send... this fucking app is really against me.

NOOOOOOOOO 😭😭 WHAT IS THIS APP, i don’t get notifications or anything thing from this app, the way it’s gone downhill since last year is crazy ???? BUT HEY IT WENT THRU NOW 😭😭

Anyways, I've been so busy and in a slump, March was rough, so was April, hopefully May is better S except my allergies won't leave me alone and the cherry blossom season almost took me out. I almost didn't survive 2 weeks in Japan, but Korea wasn't much better. But I persisted somehow. Work is also kicking my ass, the good thing is I have days off every once in a while, so whenever I'm done with work I can travel or have fun, but sometimes I just stay inside and rot ahdjdksjwisiajak

no bc ur so right why was the last two months just plain ridiculous???? everything and everything went wrong 😭😭 im blaming that eclipse, “cherry blossom season almost took me out” HELPJSJDKSKDLC 😭😭😭

omg how is ur work!! i love that, u get a mix of days off and on, is ur position like a contract or a permanent (say permanent 🔫) “stay inside and rot” GDKAHDKAHDKW ME IN THIS MOMENT ACTUALLY i also saw the heat in sk is rising up pls wear sunscreens 😭😭

How are you doing and do you know a date of your graduation? Maybe I should show up to the Avo Uni 👀 I'm travelling to Canada in a few months actually - DV 💖

im doing okay! rotting currently on my blanket as it’s a lil cloudy outside, watching the special queen of tears ep’s,,, have been going thru it since last dec <3 i, SEE I DO KNOW IT but im unsure if it’ll be that bc somehow my uni is not offering upper level courses this semester 🤡 and i need to get into the 2 they r offering but im waitlisted at number 89 😭😭😭 and everyone in my major is lined up in it,,, so it’ll extend me but for sure not graduating in winter bc id freeze to death

OH UR COMING HERE????

DROP TIME AND PLACE RN 🔫 ETA 🔫

[foryounghyun]

greylead, felt-tip, stapler! 📒✏️

greylead: what is something you want to try for the first time? i wanna travel out of the country!! i’ve gone to texas before but i wanna go to australia or possibly sk!!felt-tip: describe your aesthetic: from looking at my blog n my basic day .. i have a messy aes .. my blog can keep a light theme but then u meet me irl and im usually in all black  or some type of neutral & i have a solid black car but also i love soft things like breezes and sunsets .. my aes? Messy.stapler: out of all the people you know, who do you think you are closest to? @kimjinwook @4junhyeok @httpkwangjin @youngksbass

[theresnosafeharbor4myships]

Ichabbie ways of saying ‘I love you’

“Our fates are intertwined now. Running away isn't going to change that.”

“I do take comfort knowing that this strange road we find ourselves on can only be traveled together.”

“So if she dies in the dream...”  "She dies. Period."  "I see." *Ichabod marches over and drinks a concoction.  "Crane!"  ....  "What are you thinking?"  "Well, i'm coming with you now, so no point in discussing it."

“Believe me when I say that you belong in Sleepy Hollow. In the here and now.”

“You are home, Crane.”

“I look forward to you expanding my horizons further.”

“You know how important Crane is.”   “To you?”  “Yeah, to me.”

“Through these centuries, against the impossibility that we would find each other, we did. And I am most grateful for it.”

“Perhaps it would be easier if you left.”  “There's no way. Too many people I never got a chance to say goodbye to. You are not gonna be one of them.”

“You were right. There's always another way.”

“Next time listen to me, okay? I can't go through that again.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I feel pretty alone sometimes too.”  “Perhaps this is the sacrifice that witnesses must carry. all we really get is one another.”

“Your company holds the greatest value to me.”

*lifts glass in a toast* “To family.”  “To finding family.”

“If using this map meant betraying your trust, that's something I cannot do.”  *burns the map  “For the world. For our friendship. You and I will choose our own destiny. We have free will. I choose to forge my fate with you.”

“When I remembered you, I saw this world for what it truly is.”

“I swear to you, for as long as I can draw breath--”  “Our work is not done. You will come back for me. That I know.”  *precious Ichabbie hug  “Remember our bond. I'll come back for you.”

“I just...I don't think I would've made it without you, Crane.”  “Nor I you, Lieutenant.”

“I promise you: I will return for you!”

*precious Ichabbie hug  “Crane! You're alive.”  “We are survivors, you and I.”

“Maybe you don't come back.”  “And leave you here? No. Lieutenant, I do not accept good-bye.”  “...we're fighting a war, crane. Coming back for me is a risk I cannot let you take.”  “The Bible foretells two witnesses. You and I must remain together if there is any hope of victory. The only risk, Lieutenant, is in leaving you behind.”  “No matter what I say, you're coming back, aren't you?”  “I made a promise.”

“Hold fast, Abigail Mills. I'm on my way.”

“You never did tell me the full extent of your ordeal in that place.”  “Truth is, it got to me. Everywhere I went, I felt it slowly clawing at my mind, my soul. You know what the worst part was? Seeing you.”  “Must be why you beheaded me.”  “That demon version of you appeared just when that place was about to break me. I'd never been so happy to see anyone in my life.”

“That's what scares me. My faith in you is my greatest weakness.”  “That's what they want you to believe.”

“The only ones we can count on now are each other.”

“What matters now more than ever is that you and I stay true. Trust is the only currency with any value. All other forms are too easily counterfeited.”

“...but hear me, Grace Abigail Mills: it is not our fate for one of us to bury the other. We shall be victorious or defeated together.”

“I will be with you at every moment.”

“Our duty must be to one another before anything or anyone.”

“Of course I'm coming with you!”

“Be careful.”  “You too.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant. It is thru your eyes that I see myself most clearly.”

“I swear to you, his sacrifice will not be in vain.”

“No matter what obstacles we face, no matter how many disagreements we have, our bond cannot be broken.”

“Even in times of great peril, we could always rely on one another.”

“I'm glad I'm not in this alone.”  “I echo that sentiment, Lieutenant.”

“We're partners. More than that, we're friends.”

“You knew I'd not survive without you.”

“No matter what the course of fate, and no matter how I get there, I look forward to experiencing your America. It will be a pleasure to make your acquaintance all over again, Miss Mills.”

“You know, Crane, you don't need some stone tablet to justify your place in the world. You belong here just as much as anyone else.”

“You were wrong when you said that Henry and Katrina's death meant that you were alone. You may not have family, but you are not alone.”

“Of course having you by my side is the greatest boon.”

“After you passed out, she showed up.”  “Pandora? Did she harm you?”

“I'm most grateful, Lieutenant, that you and I have found one another once again.”

“We are a partnership of opposites, yet our affinity for one another bears the ripest of fruit.”

“You noted that I've been off my game of late. When I pledged my allegiance to this country in 1776, I had a very clear vision of what my future would hold. Nowhere in that vision did I imagine waking in the 21st century, and yet,,,more and more, I feel this desire to acculturate. But the idea of losing the archives, of losing my fight for citizenship for a country that I, in part, founded, the idea of losing you...to some wretched federal promotion to...I don't know, Dallas or Los Angeles or... Sometimes it seems as though the unbeatable enemy is the 21st century.”  “Yeah, but the thing is, Crane, Joe, me, Jenny, we are the 21st century. And every day, we take you a step further in that direction. That is the unbeatable enemy beating itself. And we ain't goin' nowhere.”

“I'd like to think you and I have developed, over the years, Lieutenant.”

“With all respect to my fellow compatriot, Major Revere, your spirit and mine is made of far heartier stock. Hence our most impressive roster of victories. Tis because we care. Come what may.”

“You ready to fight some bad guys, Crane?”  “Indeed.”  “My man.”

“If the Lieutenant were here, she would say something tough yet encouraging. Of which I would wholeheartedly concur. She is very good at that.”

“This particular (monster) feeds off for desperation. The locator spell I cast must have brought it to the area. And it focused on me because of my... emotional state [from missing Abbie].”

“I have worked and fought alongside many people in my time. It was only recently that I truly understood what a partner is. What it means to have someone who makes you more than you are simply by being by your side. Truly your better half.”

“I will never cease my efforts to find the Lieutenant.”

“Our shared connection as witnesses means I am the Lieutenant's best chance.”

“Tis a relief to find you hale and hearty, Lieutenant. I knew you were alive.”

“Thank you, Crane, for never giving up on me.”

“I meant what I said before: you're always here. With me. Ever since we first met. There's no explaining it. Two people could not be any more different. But we work things out. Together.”

“Stay with me, Crane.”

“[He's] not alone. Not ever!”

“In the darkness. Lost. I heard your voice. I followed it.”  “We made it.”

“You were my Wilson.”

“In all candor, Lieutenant, whilst you were away, I spent every waking hour endeavoring to bring you home. All other responsibilities fell by the wayside.”

“I'm trying really hard.”  “And you will succeed. Just as you were by my side when I returned to Sleepy Hollow, so I shall be by yours.”

[Jenny to Crane] “You seem happier.”  “Yes, I admit I do feel rather suffonsified. And your sister's mood appears to have taken a significant upturn of late.”

“I knew Crane was out there looking for me. I held on to that.”

“The supernatural has given you a lot of good too. It led you to Crane.”

“Lieutenant--”  “Oh. Yes. I'm scared out of my mind of seeing that place again, and no, I'm not letting you go without me. Whatever you do, I do. That's the deal.”  “Truth bomb if I ever heard one.”

“I prefer to focus on what we have, and I have a partner of the highest caliber.”  “Better than Betsy Ross?”  “Well, she was occasionally rather pushy. Prone to talking with a mouth full of food.”  “George Washington?”  “Well, now there was a great man. But a great man with legendary halitosis.”  “I really beat those guys?”  “Oh...handily.”  “You...never waiver in your faith. In what we do. In me. And you know how rare that is, don’t you?”  “When it concerns you and me, Lieutenant, there is no greater certainty.”

“I'm really going back there.”  “Only this time you're not alone.”

[greeneyezblackheart]

Okay, two things.

One, I made a post about this earlier, and I don't think you saw it. It probably got lost in the dashboard, like posts do sometimes, lol. I made a post asking my GnR mutuals which version of Don't Cry they liked best- the original, or the alternate lyric version? I'd really like to know your opinion on this. I like the original best, but that's probably because I heard it first, a really long time ago. I admit, when I listened to the alternate lyric version, and I heard this: "And don't you cry tonight, I still love you baby" tears came to my eyes. The lyrics had been different until then, when I heard that familiar, beautiful beginning of the chorus. Don't Cry is definitely in my top five GnR. What a beautiful song, regardless of which version.

Two, you've reblogged a couple of things about Las Vegas, such as pictures of the city and whatnot. I went to Las Vegas this past March and it's one of my new favorite places! I didn't gamble or anything. I just saw the city, walked the strip up and down. We were there the week of St. Patrick's Day, and I saw a bagpipe parade go through a shop/casino I was walking through. I also went to the Titanic artifact exhibition. You said you liked the movie, but I don't know if you've ever been interested in the real Titanic before. I always have been. Seeing all the artifacts, some of which were completely untouched and in perfect shape, was so amazing. There was even a room where they had a HUGE chunk of the hull on the wall. It was amazing to actually see part of the ship. I started UGLY CRYING about halfway through the museum, and hid in a corner where no one could see. It was so, so heartbreaking to be so "in touch", per se, with that tragedy. Anyway, that was in Luxor, which has a bunch of other museums and exhibitions as well. While I was over there, I also went over to California and saw Death Valley. I loved Vegas so much!

Anyway, that was just a little about my trip to Las Vegas, since you seem to be interested in the city!

About Don’t Cry: it’s in my top 3 favorite GNR songs. LOVE. IT. I am partial to the original lyrics. I think they just fit better with the melody of the song. Rumor has it, and I’m not ENTIRELY sure how true this is, but they say the original version lyrics are Axl’s lyrics, and the alternative version’s are Izzy’s. I do know for sure the original version of the song was written by Axl and Izzy (about a girl they both cared about), and that Izzy wrote the majority of the guitar melody.

I’ve never actually been to Vegas! It’s definitely on my bucket list, though. I just love all the lights. Something about neon lights, really attracts me. Plus, if it’s a vintage photo, no doubt I’ll re-blog it. That’s awesome that you’ve been there. My dad and stepmom fly out there a couple times a year (or they did before Covid) and my dad once offered to pay for me and my Eric to vacay out there with them, but I turned him down. When they go, they like to go and stay allllll week. My hubby and I are more the ‘go away for the weekend’ type. I am usually ready to be back home in my own bed after about three days, lol. Plus, a whole week alone with my dad and stepmom might result in my having to be thrown in the looney bin when we got home. 😂

I have seen a Titanic exhibit! I was 17 when the movie came out and that same year, the exhibit came thru Memphis for a short time. When that movie came out, I was so obsessed with it. Leonardo DiCaprio has always been one of my celebrity crushes. So, for a short time, I was very interested in the Titanic and it’s tragic history. I still have the ticket stub for that exhibit. I’ve been collecting ticket stubs from every concert, sporting event, museum, movie, etc that I’ve been to since I was a teenager. They’re all in a cute little keepsake box. I just dug this one out just for you. 🖤

I love museums and exhibitions. Have you ever been to New Orleans? That’s my favorite place I’ve ever been to. Anyway, the National WWII museum is there and I had to go to it while we were in Nola. Talk about UGLY CRYING! It was an amazing museum, but very sad. Such an interesting, but sad time in our history. Anyway, I feel like I’ve talked your ear off, Miss Hannah, but that’s ok, I enjoy our chats. Feel free to drop me a line ANYTIME. Here’s my Titanic ticket stub:

[myersesque]

Do you have any horror movies to recommend for someone just getting into the genre? I’m down with almost anything as long as it doesn’t take place in a psych ward. If that’s too much work you can totally ignore this!

oh boy do i!!! sorry for this taking so long, i started infodumping a little and i wanted to include, like, a decently-sized list.

general warning tht this is based entirely on my own personal taste, and i tend to like shitty (quality-wise) movies sometimes. i'll try n include whatever trigger warnings i can think of so u can pick n choose what ur willing to sit thru! (general TW for blood/gore, obviously)

the evil dead (1981), evil dead 2 (1987) & army of darkness (1992):

these r all part of one series*, n one of my comfort franchises!! evil dead is notorious for bouncing around genres - the first movie is straight-up horror w some comedy, the 2nd is horror-comedy, and the 3rd is slapsticky action comedy w a bit of horror thrown in. it's got sick low-budget sfx, n was directed by sam raimi! the basic plot synopsis is that a group of college students go to spend a weekend in a cabin in the woods, accidentally discover something called the necronomicon ex mortis, and end up summoning otherworldly demons ("deadites"). ash (one of the characters) is one of my fav horror protags ever, and also definitely trans if u ask me. the entire evil dead franchise is pretty much just bruce campbell being a himbo and everything going wrong, it’s a fun time [TW: demonic possession, brief sexual assault (two scenes, in the 1st n 2nd movies; everyone who worked on it agrees they were done entirely for shock value, and u can probably find an edit that cuts them out, or timestamps to skip them), general vulgarity (deadites have mouths on em), self harm (one scene in the 2nd movie), body horror (deadites aren't pretty), emeto] * the series is continued in the show "ash vs the evil dead", however that contains a brief psych ward subplot in one of the seasons, so i'm not including it in this list. those themes are absent from the movies, though!

the fly (1986):

i never shut up abt this movie, ever. it's absolutely devastating. it's a tragic romance and a scifi horror movie all rolled into one. in the movie, a scientist by the name of seth brundle has invented teleportation, and has enlisted reporter veronica quaife to tell his story. one night, seth is drunk and upset and teleports himself - not noticing that a fly is in the telepod with him. the machine is only programmed to handle 1 thing at once, so it accidentally fuses seth and the fly together, causing him to slowly transform into a half-bug-half-human monster. it's absolutely heartbreaking and also the best thing i've ever seen jeff goldblum in tbh. (it's a remake of an old 50s movie of the same name, though this version is a lot sadder afaik) this isn't rlly a super beginner movie i don't think - as i said, it's got a lot of gross body horror, and it's one of david cronenberg's best works (if not THE best of his works), so it's a bit intense - but i will take literally any opportunity to plug this movie. [TW: major body horror, possible self harm? (not sure if it counts if it's not entirely intentional), animal death, insects, pregnancy (both as a subplot and played on for horror), discussions of abortion, alcohol, emeto]

friday the 13th (1980) & friday the 13th part 2 (1981):

i know everyone knows jason via media osmosis, but i feel like the first 2 movies really don't fit people's knowledge of him as a character - i was definitely a little thrown the first time i saw them! idk how much i can really say without spoiling it, but you probably know the basics: teens and/or young adults go to an old summer camp with the intention of becoming camp counsellors, they get slowly hunted down and killed. [TW: in-world ableism (sort of inherent w jason as a character), animal death (extra icky bc this wasn't sfx), implied/referenced child death, general ableism (in regards to psychosis specifically, i believe), flashing lights, shakycam pov, cultural appropriation (a white character mocking native american culture)]

black christmas (1974):

one of my favourite movies ever! ik i'm saying that a lot, but this one's extra good. black christmas came pretty early on in the invention of slashers, and therefore subverts a lot of slasher tropes simply by being created before they were established. it's the good ol "babysitter and the man upstairs" urban legend mixed around a little bit; a bunch of girls at a sorority christmas party are repeatedly harassed by a man on the phone, and end up mysteriously disappearing one by one. this movie gives me total chills. it isn't super bloody, either - most of the kills happen off-screen. it's a total "sometimes your imagination is scarier than what we could show you" deal. [TW: nsfw dialogue (the killer, billy, is dubbed "the moaner" for a reason), off-screen child death (both strongly implied and directly confirmed), general paranoia-inducing content, lots of loud noises (billy definitely doesn't fit the silent slasher trope), alcohol, shakycam pov]

house of wax (2005):

so admittedly i'm a little biased, bc i have a genuine fear of wax figures, but this movie scares the everloving shit out of me. a group of friends are driving out together somewhere in louisiana, when their cars break down - a nearby trucker offers to drive some of them to the nearest town to find help, which they accept. they end up at the small, quiet town of ambrose, with the main attraction of the house of wax - an art piece featuring an entire building, complete with residents, made of wax. without spoiling all the details: it turns out there's a reason the wax figures look so realistic, and it turns out the artist is looking to add a few new ones. it's also hilariously, painfully 2000s, and has a mcr song as the credits song, so. [TW: general uncanny valley weirdness, torture (both active and passive), child abuse (physical and emotional - both shown on-screen), paranoia-inducing shit, the generally ableist trope of disfigured villains, etc.]

scream 1-4 (1996-2011):

(scream 5 is only not included bc it's not out yet and therefore i haven't seen it) scream is one of my favourite movies ever!! it's pretty much what jumpstarted my slasher fixation. it's half a parody and half a genuine slasher movie - it's meta and self-referential and so, so smart at what it does. the basic plot, without spoiling too much, is that, on the 1 year anniversary of the town's biggest court case, the small town of woodsboro is tormented by a serial killer, disguised by a cheap halloween costume, who calls his victims on the phone and asks them for their favourite scary movie. he then has a fun little trivia game with them, and any small mistake they make when answering will lead to their death. it's funny and creepy and so very very gay (seriously - there's a whole lot of strong lgbtq+ implications, and i'm pretty sure the writer has outright stated that certain scenes are full-on gay metaphors between characters). the sequels vary in quality (2 is the best and 3 is the worst imo), but they're all pretty damn fun. i wouldn't recommend jumping into it as your first horror movie, since it references a lot of well-known horror flicks and spoils the endings for a few, but if you're fine with that, it holds up even without the satirical context imo. the first movie is one of few slasher movies where i care about every single character, they’re all so charismatic and memorable (and sid is one of the best protags ever, don’t @ me)! [TW: mentions of off-screen rape (past), manipulative relationships, very mild sexual content (characters talking about sex, sexual innuendos, etc), alcohol, child death (characters in the first movie range from about 17 to 19), casual ableism (e.g. killers being referred to as "psychotic")]

saw (2004):

ok hear me out here: saw gets a bad rep. like, a REALLY bad rep. it's often dismissed as just flat out torture porn, but i'd argue the first movie isn't even close to that - it's a thriller, with some gorey scenes thrown in. the basic plot is that a serial killer by the name of jigsaw kidnaps people who he sees as morally impure and forces them into life-or-death traps, the idea being that if they survive they'll see how easily their lives could end and become better people. he sees it as doing the world a service. the movie itself follows 2 intertwined plotlines: a group of detectives trying to identify the jigsaw killer, and 2 men (dr lawrence gordon, a surgeon, and adam faulkner-stanheight, a photographer) who are trapped together, with the instructions to murder the other man to escape. the entire movie rotates around the identity of the jigsaw killer, and the 2 men trying to find a way of escaping without killing each other. it's a lot of fun, incredibly impressive given the budget, and the ending made me audibly gasp. it's incredible. (also, for bonus points: there's a clip somewhere online called "saw 0", which is the short film that they used to pitch the movie. it's a funky lil extra.) [TW: self harm (on and off screen), torture (it's... it's a saw movie), kidnapping, threats towards children, flashing lights, general trauma]

the texas chainsaw massacre (1974) & the texas chainsaw massacre 2 (1986):

for the sake of transparency, i'm not a super mega texas chainsaw fan. it was one of those movies that was hyped up so much to me that i wasn't as scared as i thought i'd be by it - i remember as a little kid i thought it was real, bc i mentioned the title once and my whole family tensed up and told me not to talk about it. but anyway, general plot synopsis: a group of people are driving through texas, run out of fuel, and end up wandering into the home of the sawyer family, a bunch of chainsaw-wielding cannibals. one of the sons, bubba, makes masks out of the skin of his victims, earning the nickname leatherface. it's a lot of intense, loud noises and long tense scenes and genuinely revolting moments. the sequel is a bit more comedic and slashery in comparison. [TW: cannibalism, mutilation, self harm (brief), kidnapping, slaughterhouse noises are used in replacement of a soundtrack, real human bones were used as props, shit like that]

a nightmare on elm street (1984):

another certified classic! freddy kreuger isn't my favourite slasher, but this movie's pretty damn scary. basically, a group of teens are discussing their dreams and figure out they've had the same nightmare - a man with knives for fingers hunting them down and trying to kill them. it becomes clear to them that if they die in the dream, they'll die in real life too, and the killer they face in their dreams is somehow relevant to their pasts in a way they don't remember. [TW: child death (the main cast are teens), lots of unreality (in dream sequences), implied p^dophilia, repressed childhood trauma]

behind the mask: the rise of leslie vernon (2006):

another comedic one! this is a comedic mockumentary set in a world where slashers are real, and following the story of leslie vernon, a young man who wants to become one. he enlists a news team to make a documentary about his uprising, and along the way ends up legitimately becoming close w them and enjoying their company - which is a bit of an issue, bc leslie still plans on killing people. it sorta seamlessly shifts between comedic mockumentary and genuine slasher movie, and has some moments that genuinely break my heart. (also, if you like leslie and want more of him, he has his own comic series!) ((also also!! one of the side characters is strongly implied to be billy, the killer from black christmas!!)) [TW: there's a discussion at some point about leslie being mentally ill and having been treated for it in the past, though i can't remember the specifics of that reveal super clearly. fire.]

us (2019):

holy shit this movie. i cannot recommend this movie enough. if you choose only 1 movie to watch from this whole list, i hope it's us, bc Holy Fucking Shit this movie is underrated. basically, it comes from the idea that our shadows are their own sentient people, who are mirror images of us and yet forced to live beneath us; this movie is what happens when they get tired of that, and try to take our place. it's a worldwide uprising of people's shadows trying to kill them, and it's fucking badass as all hell - it even has some rlly strong comedic moments mixed in w all the family feels and horror! it's also directed by jordan peele, an amazing black director, and the main characters are primarily black (which i think is worth mentioning, bc i rarely see horror movies fronted by poc!!). [TW: kidnapping, child endangerment, general eerie uncanny-valley kinda situations, child death, paranoia-inducing shit, slight unreality]

warm bodies (2013):

this is a weird one so bare with me: horror romcom. romeo and juliet, except romeo's a zombie. i'm not kidding. that's the plot of the movie. it's fun YA teen romcom bullshit, but the protagonist is a sentient zombie man who regularly eats people's brains. it's not exactly scary imo, but it's still classed as horror and i love it dearly, so i'm including it anyway. [TW: sorta-cannibalism? (he's a zombie sooo) - i can't remember anything else tbh!]

sweeney todd: the demon barber of fleet street (2007):

musical movie!!! benjamin barker comes back to london after years in prison under the new alias "sweeney todd", in order to seek revenge on the man who got him wrongfully arrested in a ploy to steal his wife and daughter away from him. he ends up working as a barber above mrs lovett's pie shop and, in a fit of rage, murders one of his customers. he and mrs lovett figure out a deal: he kills any customers whom he thinks deserve it, and mrs lovett uses their meat in her pies. complete with spooky murder duets and ballads about classism! [TW: cannibalism, implied p^dophilia, mentions of rape, attempted suicide, fire, classism, manipulative relationships]

shawn of the dead (2004):

another horror comedy one!! may or may not be a dawn of the dead parody, but i've still never seen dawn of the dead and i understood it perfectly, so. very british, sorta buddycop-esque comedy set in a zombie apocalypse, with the occasional heartbreaking scene. the main characters are completely normal people and also not smart. it's a fun time. [TW: parental death (it took me 10 tries to get through this movie as a kid), alcohol]

thir13en ghosts (2001):

a family inherit an artistic glass house from their eccentric uncle. upon arriving, it turns out he's been using the house to trap vengeful spirits in the basement, which are only visible when wearing special glasses to see them. it's got tons of cool ghosts, a pretty unique concept, and matthew lillard covered in blood: what more could you ever need? [TW: lots of flashing lights, nudity (non-sexual), child death, i know i put a general gore warning but this movie has A Lot Of Gore iirc so it's worth saying again]

jennifer's body (2009):

local wlw teen is turned into a demon and spends her time having sex with and consequently killing her male classmates, all whilst having a flirtatious relationship w her best friend. lots of megan fox being cool as fuck [TW: ok admittedly it's been a long time since i've seen this movie, so i don't remember a lot, but off the top of my head: emeto, vague (off-screen) nsfw, demonic possession]

(honourable mention to the chucky franchise, bc i never shut up abt it, but child's play and cult of chucky both include a lot of psych ward shit off the top of my head, so if ur interested in that franchise at all, i'd skip those 2 and/or read a plot synopsis instead)

[aro-kai]

⚠ Spoilers for Mask of Shadows ⚠

Heyo @linseymiller , first of all if ur reading this I'd like to say hi and also THANK YOU so very much for writing the first published book I've actually gotten into in--gods, a year at least, probably two or more. I got spoiled by Ao3 and its quick free fic and easily guaranteed queer rep--incidentally, being spoiled by its ability to let me tell authors directly how much I loved their writing led to me writing this post, so. Fic comment style author ish void shouting commence!

I used to be that book a day kid, y'know, back bf fanfic, and I am happy to announce that Sal and their exploits took me back to it. (First in a day book I've done for fun in idk probably years! Thank you for letting me visit my childhood again!) I picked it up by chance, got hooked in by the word "they" on the back cover, and then just. Got sucked in. It was a Delight

I love all of the characters, it was honestly a well developed cast. Sal in particular, unsurprisingly--I myself have a wobbly gender so I latched onto them pretty quickly. I love their morally grey-ish-ness, it never really felt forced or "edgy", and tbh if I were in their place undoubtedly I would also be strongly inclined towards murder. It's--I love the way you balanced their lack of shame for it with this acknowledgement of loss? They were neither so remorseless that they no longer saw any that they killed as people nor quailed at the thought of taking a life--the way they took death as just another facet of existing, which isn't particularly bad except for the pain and blood spilt, was this beautiful balance that I really appreciate. Also their competence! Was Amazing! They balanced these /super/ impressive skills w things that they still def struggled w. I loved their relationships w the other characters as well, and the contrast bw those they allied w w out particular affection or trust to the ones like Maud and the Hand where they just gradually became closer thru bickering. (Love Maud, she's def in my top three faves.) and Sal's romance w Elise was also really sweet! even tho romance isn't particularly my thing--which brings me to my next point!

Aromantic Emerald aromantic Emerald aromantic Emerald I was so freaking Pumped holy shit any time à character is aromantic I simply burst out in Feelings I'm already Attached in a matter of like two sentences gods I hope nothing happens to her

Also! im still mad at u abt Ruby how Dare I just decided he was one of my faves very cruel of you /lh (mostly) Liked the back story tho! That was Neat

I did not keep much track of the numbers (Sal not building close relationships w most of them was appreciated I would've failed) but I did enjoy Five as their foil-ish. Both on a quest for revenge after trauma brought on at a similar age by similar circumstances, etc. I must say I did appreciate the "just bc a character has a Tragic Padt doesn't automatically make them a good person" thing. That needs to be said more often. Sure baby Five didn't necessarily deserve to have that happen, sure he had a narrative parallel thing, but that doesn't change the fact he was a Dick to the nth degree. Torture, murder, classism, and to top it all off transphobia? Fucking hell fuck off man.

(Also, the lack of major institutionalized homophobia/transphobia? A breath of fresh air goodness not enough ppl in fantasy take advantage of that goddammit you can make this world whatever u want why the /fuck/ would you put that shit in all of them sure those stories need to be told but gods can I not read abt ppl like me in a book w out it being depressing? C'mon. Anyway appreciate u <3)

Anyway, prolly gonna go read the second one now (and potentially figure out a way to put this comment into goodreads acceptable format lol), I'm very pumped to see Sal go on their revenge quest, worried for Elise, looking forward to Maud being an icon, and also super emotionally attached to Emerald despite knowing almost nothing abt her (we share an orientation that's Enough Im latched on, I'm jumping, she's mine now). May or may not comment more here later! Either way thank you again so much for the story, hopefully you know this already but ur awesome, Very appreciate!

[jade-doodles-questionmark]

On Alexander, Angelica and Eliza

Heres some long-ass personal interpretation based on the musical that nobody following this blog signed up for lol. Not gonna be touching on history coz i’m no expert and there’re ppl way more qualified for that. and it’s good to keep things separated.

there’re obviously many similarities between the two A’s. Both are witty, outspoken, center of attention, and a bit of a flirt. To me, the most interesting trait shared by both is their awareness: They know exactly where they stand socially, and subsequently, how to play by the rules to climb up. This clear awareness is where I got the idea for the staircase drawings. “i’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich/ my father has no sons so i’m the one who has to social climb for one” is a demonstration of Angelica’s awareness, just as “As a kid in the Caribbean I wished for a war/ I knew that I was poor/ I knew it was the only way to rise up” shows Alexander’s.

it’s different for Eliza - i know as the show proceeds, she gradually becomes more ambitious and active, but in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story, what she asks, instead of how to rise up, is: “Have I done enough?” this quiet insistence is why i always see her as someone who does things because she thinks it’s a right thing to do, no matter whether that thing in question would benefit her personally or not. sure, she gives off "cinnamon roll" vibes, but girl’s no less strong or badass than Alexander or Angelica.

More under cut coz I’m incapable of being concise:

Angelica:

what always strikes me as interesting about Angelica is the contrast of what she says vs. what she does.

In The Schuyler Sisters, the majority of her lines are about empowering women, which, I think, is where the depiction of Angelica as an angry feminist comes from in some fanfics. But in Satisfied, we see she plays squarely by the rules of patriarchy and social classes (the three fundamental truths part). 

Similarly, in TSS, she says "so men say I'm intense or I'm insane", seemingly unbothered, if not lowkey proud, by these comments, but in Satisfied, she talks about the resulting gossip if she were to marry Alexander. 

I saw a post which expressed that Angelica thinks like Alexander but acts like Burr, and I agree. She has a sharp mind and is unafraid to speak out, like Alexander, but she’s also got things to lose, like Burr. Having family responsibilities means that she does not, and cannot, act without restrictions and hesitations like Hamilton. She doesn't necessarily wait it out like Burr, but she does think things thru, because the important decisions she makes carry enough weight to not only affect the future of herself but also of her family.

I had mentioned in an old post that Satisfied is basically Angelica assessing cost & gain for each of the options she has, for all the parties involved. even though that song's ending has mixed feelings and it's DEFINITELY a heartbreaking song, Angelica's choice did maximize the gain for everyone at the time: She was able to maintain her bond with Alexander and married rich to ensure her material comfort. Alexander was able to marry a Schuyler and elevate his status. Eliza got the boy she loved and was happily married. She even foresaw some possible challenges the newly wed Hamiltons were likely to face (“He’ll never be satisfied”).

She knows she lives in a world of patriarchy; she isn't happy with it, but she knows how to take advantage of the system as much as she can. She knows how to be the center of attention, be charming, and appeal to ppl. She knows what kind of husband is beneficial to have. She knows how to influence politics in her own way (take a break). Part of why I found Satisfied so sad is that her mind and her heart wish for two different things. Angelica is a realist, over everything else. She can be a feminist, but definitely not an angry one.

Alexander:

I talked a bit abt him in an older post on Maria - and a lot of what I said abt Maria applies to him. If the challenge Angelica was facing is invisible societal restrictions on women, what Alexander faces is purely regarding survival. Having needed to fight and compete for resources, I imagine he's at least somewhat influenced by the philosophy of social darwinism. I also said, in the same post, that I don't think he'd be really inclined to help ppl in the same difficulty he used to be in, for the same reason. If he could make it this far with his own hard work, how would it be fair to make things easier for others now? Would those ppl even deserve their success now the bar has been lowered? It's not exactly a right way of thinking, but it's also hard to blame him. after having to compete for resource w others in order to climb up, it’s hard to change the mentality.

I've seen a music analysis (by Howard Ho on YouTube) on Hurricane, and it concludes that when Hamilton was singing that song, he wasn't exactly recalling the past - he's been mentally living in that reality and never truly left. (There's similar remarks that Hamilton's past in the Caribbean had always plagued him despite his power and position in Chernow's biography, but we're only analyzing the musical here.) He never fully turned off his survival mode.

To clarify: by survival mode, I don't literally mean he fights to survive. He didn't exactly show a strong will to survive and was quite willing to give up his life for noble causes, up until he met Eliza. What I meant is, he remembers being destitute and helpless, he remembers seeing deaths of trivial importance, so he fights to be as far away from destitution and helplessness as possible, he fights to have the opportunity to die a glorious and noble death. Because to be able to die for something matters is still a privilege. No matter how high up he rose to position, his insecurity that he may end up losing those never faded away. This raw energy, I guess, is what gradually turned the others in the musical to be more like him.

Eliza:

Eliza seems to be the one who's the most content abt their situations out of the three. After all, one of her motifs in the musical is "look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now", and the other one is “that would be enough”. 

ppl usually say Helpless and Satisfied should be listened back to back (and nothing wrong with that), but comparing these two songs, Helpless doesn’t explore as much of Eliza’s character as Satisfied does Angelica. Throughout Helpless, she’s spent most of the song narrating what happened and falling head over heels for Alexander. As for her first appearance in TSS, she doesn’t have as much of a voice and show of character in comparison to Angelica, Burr, other Peggy either. 

The first moment we truly see her thoughts is in That Would Be Enough. It’s also in this song, her two other motifs (”that would be enough” and “narrative”) are introduced. Unlike Alexander and Angelica at that point of story, she’s happy with her life, wants it to remain that way, and doesn’t ask for more. 

i dont mean she’s not ambitious like the other two - she’s driven, but by other things. she doesn’t think of legacy, material comfort, status, position, etc. as important as Angelica and Alexander, as we can see in Burn. it’s not that she doesn’t know the rules - girl’s not playing the game at all. 

unlike the two A’s, Eliza’s growth happens in the second act. Angelica’s barely in the second act, and in the same act we see Alexander’s most trusted weapon, writing, contributing to his downfall. but for Eliza, she turns from the observer in Helpless, the supporter in That Would Be Enough, to the only one on stage in Burn, and to being the center of stage in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story. in the second act we see her going thru the series of most crushing heartaches: Reynolds Pamphlet, death of Phillip, and death of Alexander, but we also see her strength. she’s a good person, but ppl usually forget that being nice takes energy and strength too. it takes strength to support, to forgive, to mourn the passing of your loved ones, and to preserve their memories and legacy. she shines and grows after overcoming the loss and heartbreaks. Angelica says in Satisfied “she’d say 'i’m fine' but she’d be lying”, i don’t think she’s giving Eliza enough credit for her mental strength there lol. 

side note: this is where i got idea for the eliza art from a few days ago - kintsugi represents the idea that your wound becomes your history and forms part of who you are, rather than something ugly to be ashamed of. I think it fits well with Eliza’s development.

Congrats! you’ve made it till the end! don’t know why u’d do that, but thanks! 

if u’re reading this feel free to send me a simple art request to compensate the time u took reading my bullshit

[spnopineapples]

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I'm READY.

LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!!!

......

.......

Are ya gone yet? Have you scrolled past if you don't want to see?

....

Alright. *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND NECK* Let's jump on into this!

First off I'm done with the game.

Second off..... THIS GAME WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL!!! 10/10

The ending litterally killed me. Finished 2 hours ago,talked the ear off of my best friend for about 1 and a half hours and gushed and lamented the whole time. Cried for about 20 minutes by myself. Had an existential crisis. So on so on. And now I'm here, in the middle of an online meeting cause, ya know, Corona, muted with no camera on, because I'd much rather be typing out this dissertation.

Y'ALL. Go play this. It is AWESOME.

Now for the third and probably longest bit of this. My rebuttal to the bad reviewers:

I still contend that the bad reviews are 1 of 2 reasons with a little of a 3rd mixed in to both. #1. Being that people are pissed they killed off Joel and think the story did a disservice to the characters. #2. People are pissed because they think Naughty Dog was pushing a liberal agenda with a heavily muscled female antagonist/protagonist, a gay Ellie, and a transgender side character, Lev. The mixed in #3 is the extensive violence which I do contend was a lot. Yeah LoU1 was definitely violent, but damned this one got dark. And that's something coming from me because I am a fan of gratuitous violence.

Let me tackle these real quick. I'll be brief about #2 here though.

IN REBUTTAL TO REASON #2 - If you honestly didn't like LoU2 because of this reason (which I explained in my previous post about how IT IS logical that Abby be built the way she is and how Naughty Dog was definitely NOT shoving this or ANY of the others i mentioned in anyone's face in my opinion) you're in need of some corrective thinking and you should re-evaluate your ideas and realize that your opinion on these social issues doesn't matter and is wrong. None of these things make the game story illogical or bad. Bottom line: there are people like this in the world and their stories in this game drive the plot. It doesn't belittle the previous games or detract from the current game at all. You're just bigoted. Calm your tits and don't play the game if it upsets you so much. Pull a Seth and bury the hatchet. Make some steak sandwiches.

But I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the majority of the bad reviewers were more pissed at reason #1, Joel's Death. But real quick.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON #3 -If you hated the game because of the amount of violence, do realize that the violence was the point of the story this time AND IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A DRAG ON YOUR SOUL. LoU1 was about finding love again in a violent world. Love being in the foreground and the violence a backdrop, which is why the violence didn't feel so in your face even though it was PLENTY violent. LoU2 was about succumbing to the violent world because of losing love. Violence being the foreground and tainted love (insert song here ya bastards) being the backdrop that drives it. AND HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART PLEASE READ THIS PART AT LEAST IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

Think of the two endings. LoU1 WAS a story ABOUT finding love in a violent world BUT ENDED with Joel committing a violent act to protect his love (killing all the Fireflies, 1 of which was Abby's father and the driving reason for LoU2's main plot, and DOOMING THE WORLD TO INFECTION AND DAMNING HUMANITY). LoU2 WAS a story ABOUT losing love and reacting with violence BUT ENDED with Ellie doing a peaceful act (allowing Abby to leave alive with Lev) because of the love she had for Joel (that flashback scene of Joel playing guitar when Ellie decided to forgive him for the violence and lie at the end of LoU1).

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS?

There NEEDED to be a LoU2 because LoU1 ended with violence and a lie. LoU2 fulfilled this with an ending of forgiveness driven by a memory of love from the first game.

I've read a lot of the bad reviews where they mention the violence became too much and ruined the game. And that Ellie wouldn't act like that. First off Ellie totally would, fuck off with that noise. Second off THAT'S THE POINT. This was a story about how revenge is cyclic violence and it doesn't end until someone makes the decision to end it!

BOTTOM LINE: I felt ragged 2/3's of the way thru this game because of the violence, but that's the point of the story. Revenge is not worth it. Especially when it's with people like Abby and Ellie. Because neither are villians. AND BOY HOWDY DID IT TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. Because I HATED ABBY FOR KILLING JOEL. When I first started playing her I DID NOT WANT TO BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY WITH HER. I litterraly felt dirty playing her. But this game did something amazing to get me around to appreciating her character. NOT LIKING HER CHARACTER, but appreciating. And I will tackle this in my next rebuttal.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON # 1 - Let's talk about Joel's death.

I WILL NOT LIE TO YALL.

I was mightily upset about his death. At first I thought it to be a disservice to a beloved character. But then I realized something. See above about Joel's actions. He killed all those Fireflies and DAMNED THE WORLD. Not only that it is specifically mentioned in both LoU1 and in this game that Joel and Tommy did horrible things before they met Ellie and before Jackson. JOEL WAS NOT A GOOD GUY.

I think what people are upset about is the REALNESS of this game. A lot of other game developers don't do what Naughty Dog has done. Naughty Dog did not shy away from Joel's character flaws and his past wrongs! In fact, all the user's that use the reason for hating the game as "too many plotholes" Y'ALL FUCKING PLAYIN. More on that later.

Back to what I was saying about realness. In the real world, Joel's death and the brutality of it and suddenness of it is actually a very logical event that would occur. Abby doesn't KNOW Joel like we do. All she knows is this guy killed her father and a lot of her friends and damned humanity in the process. LoU1 is not a happy game. Might I remind yall about Sam and Henry? But his death was not "sudden". And it didn't steal Joel from us. I actually really enjoyed all the flashbacks to him. We got more than enough time and I actually feel as if the time we got with Joel was better because of his death so early in the game. DO NOT TELL ME THAT THAT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM FLASHBACK DIDN'T FULFILL EVERY FEELING NEED.

And now for the wrap up - the big hangup that I see of those who hated Joel's Death is that the story didn't redeem it. They couldn't "buy" Ellie forgiving Abby at the end.

As I stated I will not lie. I was worried for about 2/3s of the way through this game that the bad user reviews were accurate and that the story sucked because I couldn't see where the writers were going. All I saw was senseless death of characters that I had loved and that I was coming to love. I straight up love Jesse by the way. It wasn't until Abby met Lev and Yara that I started seeing the majesty of this revenge story.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HATE FUCKING REVENGE STORIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE, NO, THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. Before this game I'd be like "miss me with that bullshit" but after today I would say "give it to me like this." This actually felt real. And boy was it raw. Guys, the reason I started forgiving Abby is because of her decision to help Yara and Lev. Because it was her attempt to right the wrong of killing Joel which was eating her alive. Her and Owen and Mel. Guys. She is Joel. Why the hell do you think Joel did what he did for Ellie in the first game? Because he liked her at first site? BULLSHIT. He did it because Tess told him to do something good for once. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ABBY THEN YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JOEL. I get it. Abby had to earn that with her story because at the beginning I'd have said leave her to the clickers. BUT CONTRARY TO THE USERS OF THIS REASONING SHE DID DESERVE HER REDEMPTION. The game shows over and over and over again that Abby isn't some mustache twirling villian who deserves instant death. She is complicated. She cares and she hates and she loves. She knows what's right and wrong and tries to do right as much as possible but she's human and she gets angry. Anger means you care.. and she cared about her father. She's a good human too because good humans feel shitty about doing shitty things and if you are observant at all you can tell immediately with Abby, as we play her in her Seattle Day 1, that she has doubts and isn't comfortable with her role in how Joel died. SHE DESERVED BEING FORGIVING BY ELLIE AT THE END. AND IN THE SAME TOKEN ELLIE DESERVED FORGIVING HER AND BEING FORGIVEN BY ABBY. It is very clearly obvious by the end of the game that Ellie could not reconcile her revenge killings with her best memories of Joel or with the actions she had to take to get there. Also it is of very important note here that Ellie stopped drowning Abby because of a flash image of Joel playing guitar. And then later on actually seeing the memory associated with that image that stopped her you can understand why Ellie did stop outside of just being as tired of violence as Abby was. The memory shows Joel and Ellie agreeing to try to forgive Joel for lying to her about the Fireflies and denying her her purpose. All this the night before he is killed. Note what Joel says. "If God gave me the chance to do it all over again. I would have done the same thing." Just that fucking devotion he has for Ellie shines through and she really understands his reasons for what he did. Still doesn't feel as if she can forgive him. THAT IS IMPORTANT. She DOES NOT agree with his decision. She understands it, but doesn't agree. But still decides to try and forgive. GUYS. That's exactly what she understands about Abby. Joel was sorry but he still would have done it. Same with Abby. There's a reason that image popped up as she was killing Abby and not the image of his beaten up face.

Remember that line from LoU2? Tess said it. As she is confessing to Joel that she was bit. "We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time!" And Joel says "No, we are survivors!"

Y'all don't think for one second that Joel wouldn't have gone after that Soldier who shot Sarah if Tommy hadn't shot him? Y'all kidding yourselves.

Abby realizes this truth in the end. She realizes the part she played in enhancing and playing into the fucking violence and shittiness. Staining and tainting herself in the process. She just wanted to be clean. And Ellie just wanted to be clean.

Bombing this game is doing a fucking disservice to the emotional complexity of this story. It's been a long time since I've been that emotionally twisted.

This game isn't preachy. This game makes something clear that alot of other revenge stories get wrong. Revenge makes otherwise good people do shitty things and the shitty things taint us for the rest of our lives. At least Ellie and Abby stopped themselves before they tainted all their being.

Yeah we're shitty people. But we don't have to be.

[thefloatingstone]

If you’re doing Self Quarintine (and you should be if you can help it) here’s some Youtube recommendations! Some of these I have posted about or recommended before but with almost all of us stuck indoors now’s a good time to remind you of some cool things you can watch for free!

I’m not gonna imbed the videos, I’ll just post the link because otherwise I would only able to post 5 and I want to collect a few so you can make a playlist or something. (I could make a playlist too but then I couldn’t tell you what each video is and you can’t pick and choose which one sounds interesting to you)

In no particular order:

Polybius: The video Game that doesn’t exist

An hour long documentary in which the youtuber did extensive research to find the origin of the “Polybius” Urban Legend, which speaks of an early arcade game reportedly seen around the early 1980s which reportedly gave people migraines, insomnia, nausea, subliminal messages, and in some cases heart attacks.

The Universal S

A shorter video in which LEMMiNO does his very best to try and track down where exactly this S that we all drew in middle school comes from? Why does literally every country on earth seem to HAVE their children draw this S?

I also recommend LEMMiNO’s video on the Dayltov Pass Incident and the perplexing UFO cases

Down the Rabbit Hole: Henry Darger

Fredrick Knudsen has an incredible fascinating series called “Down the Rabbit Hole” which simply focuses on... anything you can discover and go digging into. From weird internet personalities, to bizarre happenings in history. This video is about the artist Henry Darger, a man who lived in the early 1900s and for all intents and purposes had a perfectly average, lonely life, until it was discovered just before his death he had spent literally decades writing and drawing a fantasy world in what is possibly the longest piece of literature ever written.

I also recommend his video on the Hurdy Gurdy

Bedtime Stories Channel

I’m actually just gonna link the whole channel for “Bedtime Stories”. If you like weird and creepy stories, all of which at least claim to be “true” then Bedtime Stories is great. Coupled by illustrations and subtle sound effects, Bedtime Stories is literally listening to someone tell you a story about such things like hikers who mysteriously went missing, Sightings of Bog Men in Florida and giant Birds over Chernobyl, as well as weird and unsettling murders that remain unsolved. Sometimes the facts are a little dubious or have been disproved, but that’s not the point of the channel. It’s here to tell a creepy story, not give you a documentary.

A Journey Through Rule of Rose

Rule of Rose is a Survival Horror gave for the PS2 which has rather bad gameplay... but a FASCINATING story with just as many layers and symbolism as Silent Hill 2 could boast. It tells the story of one young woman traveling back into her own childhood in an orphanage in the 1930s, and all the horrors that contains. From repressed grief, abusive relationships, child neglect, abuse, and bullying... but it ALSO contains symbolism of societal class structure, politics, eating the rich, and how power structures work. Not for the faint of heart, but HIGHLY recommended.

I also super highly recommend his video on the similarities between Silent Hill 2 and Solaris

Clemps Reviews Crisis Core

Mr. Clemps is a great internet gamer who reviews JRPGs and other games he simply enjoys. Sprinkling in a heavy dose of comedy and very fast jokes and observations, Clemps’ videos are always upbeat, fun, and incredibly enjoyable to watch. I’m linking part 1 of his Crisis Core video in which he explains why the PSP game remains a personal favourite of his despite its flaws.

I also recommend his video on Eternal Sonata

Defunct TV: The History of Dragon Tales

Defunctland is a channel that deals with theme parks and theme park rides that are no longer standing, or which are no longer around in their current form. Defunctland also has a sub series though, called “Defunct TV” where they look at the origin of children’s TV which are no longer airing. I recommend the video on Dragon Tales which is incredibly wholesome, and a genuinely uplifting and soft story of good people trying to make good things for children. (I also recommend the videos on Bear in the Big Blue House, Zoboomafoo, and Legends of the Hidden Temple)

Hagan’s Histories of Polar Exploration

A Playlist for Diamanda Hagan’s videos about the doomed Franklin Expedition from the late 1800s, where England tried to find a passage through the Northern Arctic to the Pacific Ocean. This went horribly horribly wrong, with every member of the Expedition dead. Over a 100 years later we are still fuzzy on what EXACTLY happened, but apart from the arctic chill, there is also evidence of faulty canned food, a series of bad decisions, and cannibalism. Caution advised for this series.

I also recommend the rest of Diamanda Hagan’s channel. She is NOT for everyone, but if you enjoy somebody reviewing Z grade indie movies as well as just BIZARRE films, really bad Christian media bordering on Science Fiction (without making fun of religion itself) hot takes of classic (and modern) Dr. Who, an introduction to Red Dwarf, She’s an EXCELLENT channel to check out.

Good Bad or Bad Bad: Pass Thru

A half podcast half review show where two guys watch a terrible film, decide if it’s “Good” Bad or just Bad Bad and tell you if you should watch it too.

That’s it. That’s the whole show.

I recommend diving into the untold madness that is one of the best(?) bad film makers currently still producing batshit insane movies, the immortal Niel Breen.

There is literally nothing I can say that’ll prepare you for Niel Breen.

(I also recommend their more recent video for “Dancin’ It’s on!”)

History Buffs: Apollo 13

Do you like History? Do you like movies ABOUT History? Do you want to know if the movies about history you watch actually resemble what really happened in any way at all? History Buffs is an EXCELLENT channel, which does talk about the merit of a film itself, but is mainly focused on letting you know just how true to life that historical film you watch is. I highly recommend his longest video which covers the space race between the USA and the USSR, leading to what is known as “The most Successful Failure in NASA’s History”. The Infamous Apollo 13 and where the words “Houston, we have a problem” came from.

If you’re not interested in Apollo 13 however, I also recommend his video on the movie Casino, as well as his video on the female philosopher, Agora.

The Internet Historian: The Goodening of No Man’s Sky

With videos with literally MILLIONS of views, you probably already know the Internet Historian. But I still want to recommend him very highly because his videos are just THAT good and entertaining. I recommend his newest video, documenting that time we were all pissed off about No Man’s Sky, the difficulties the game studio was in when the game released, and how they have been working hard to finally create what is now a truly brilliant game which is winning major awards. A really good underdog story of how a video game company actually saw what was wrong with their game, and FIXED it.

I also recommend his video on Fallour 76 as well as the Failure of Dashcon

8 Creepy Video game mysteries

Hey. Did you know that sometimes there’s some REALLY weird shit in video games, hidden easter eggs which took literal decades to find as well as just a lot of “what the actual fuck?”. Oddheader is a channel with a dedicated discord and Reddit form solely focusing on trying to find or replicate bizarre video game finds, mysteries, and hidden glitches. Even if it means getting in his car and driving to a specific arcade just to check a rumour about Street Fighter II’s arcade version. So if you like getting spooked by weird game shit that’s not just some dumb creepypasta, this is a great place to start.

I also recommend his video on weird discoveries in DVDs and movies.

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst

Look you already know who Red Letter Media is.

You know... these guys:

Here’s a video of them and Macaulay Culkin watching 3 terrible movies together.

I recommend literally any and all of their videos. Their discussion on Carpenter’s The Thing is amazing.

The Impact of Akira: The film that changed Everything

Ok trying to pick just ONE Super Eyepatch Wolf video is literal torture. Originally I was going to suggest his recent video on Final Fantasy 7 for the PSone but I realised I recommended something FF7 related with Clemps, so instead I will recommend The Impact of Akira, a video talking in depth about Akira both as a film as well as a manga, how it completely and utterly changed the anime industry both in Japan as well as the west, and why it is still a meaningful and one of the most important anime/manga even to this day, still being unsurpassed despite so much competition.

However, ALL of Wolf’s videos are incredible, so I also recommend his videos on wrestling (despite me not caring about wrestling at all), His video on how media scares us, The bizarre reality of modern Simpsons, Why the Dragon Ball Z manga is great, and literally any other video he’s made. He hasn’t made one bad video yet.

Was Oblivion as Good as I remember?

Exactly what it says on the tin. The Salt Factory goes back to playing The Elder Scrolls Oblivion and now with hindsight and modern sensibilities, gives feedback on his experience and whether Oblivion still holds up. This isn’t a super in depth review of the game’s mechanics or how its put together or how it was made. This is simply one guy talking about his experience replaying it with somejokes thrown in and how he felt revisiting it. It’s pretty good.

I also recommend the video he did on Morrowind (because I’m biased).

Weird Japan Only PS1 games

Thor High Heels is SO GOOD and deserves SO MUCH MORE subs than he currently has. THH focuses a lot of obscure and lesser known games as well as big popular titles like the Yakuza series, talking about what he likes about them, what he thinks is cool, and just what kind of atmosphere and mood a certain game has, even if the game itself is kind of ass. He’s done several videos on games that were only released in Japan, as well as videos talking about the fashion in Squaresoft games and how it inspired as well as was inspired by real world street fashion, the aesthetic of PC-98 games and other topics. He also styles his videos and thumbnails after promotional art for video games from the 90s and generally just has an excellent style to his channel over all. Very chill.

Blue Reflection Review

ValkyrieAurora is a channel run by Sophie where she talks about games she personally likes and enjoys. Her videos are really laid back and her voice is really calm and pleasant to listen to. She’s made a bit of a reputation for herself as “The channel that talks about the Atelier Games” and general is just a really enjoyable channel worth checking out if you just want something soothing to listen to.

Ancient Chinese Historians Describe Japan

Voices from the Past is a channel were historical text is read out loud in english. These can be anything like the above video where Chinese historians describe the people of Japan around 297 AD, Accounts of “Dog-Men”, or the worlds oldest letter of complaint from 1750 BC. If you’d like something interesting historically to listen to but don’t want a full blown history lesson, this is a really good way to hear contemporary people talk about their experiences and what they thought about each other in their own words, without opinions or input given by the narrator.

The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet

Whang! is a channel that covers weird internet stories, some horrifying, some curious and interesting, and some just plain weird. His video on The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet and its update, are about a song which was recorded off the radio in Germany around the 1980s, and after one person online asked if anyone knew who the artist was as they couldn’t find any information, led to the realization that NOBODY online knows where this song came from or who sang it. It’s a fun mystery to look into that, unlike some others on this list, is not creepy or unsettling, although perhaps a little frustrating.

I also recommend his video on The Most Mysterious Anime theme song, and the haunted Ebay Painting.

5 Lost, Destroyed, and Locked away Broadcasts

Yesterworld is similar to the Defunctland channel in that it talks about obsolete rides, theme parks and other forgotten pieces of entertainment. Although the majority of the channel focuses on movie rides, rollercoasters and Disneyland, I recommend the video on lost and locked away broadcasts which you can no longer see. I also recommend the video about Lost and Rediscovered movie props.

The Nightmare Artist

I talked about this one recently as I just discovered this channel. This video is about the renowned Polish artist Zdzislaw Beksinski who painted surreal and horrifying paintings during his lifetime. There is no mystery here or anything like that, it merely talks about the impact WWII left on Beksinski and how the trauma his country and people suffered influenced his painting, and how certain images and motifs can be seen to directly reference this terrible part of Poland’s history.

Disabilities in Prehistory

Modern media likes to portray how “savage” the ancient past is, and tell us stories of how any person born with a deformity or disability would be thrown over a cliff or dumped in a well because they would be too big a drain on a community to look after. But here’s the thing... according to archaeological evidence, it turns out our ancient ancestors actually did their best to look after its disabled members to the best of their abilities. This video talks about archaeological finds of people who had genetic disabilities and what we can learn from their remains. TREY the Explainer is a great channel for archaeology and also talking about what answers we could have for sightings of cryptids. (not ALL of which we have answers for)

I also recommend his video on Pre-Contact dogs as well as Homosexuality in Nature and the Genetic History of the Ainu.

Decoding “The Secret: A treasure Hunt”

“The Secret” was an art book released in the 80s full of beautiful paintings, but it is also more than that. The book has a fantasy story talking about 12 fantastical races who left wonderful treasures for humans to find,and the book’s paintings and riddles will tell you where you can find each of these treasures which are yours to keep if you can solve the puzzle... and the treasures are 100% true and can actualy be found and claimed, if you can solve the riddles in the book. The video tells the story of the artbook, who was behind it, what the treasures are, how many have been found and various other facts and details.

I also recommend the videos on this channel “The Game: A scavenger Hunt” and “The investigation of Erratas”.

5 Ancient Inventions That Were WAY Ahead Of Their Time

I would recommend you be careful with this channel as its main focus is existentialism and rather alarming topics such as “how close are we to the apocalypse” and other things whose titles alone are enough to upset me. However this video is nothing like that. This video is exactly what the title suggests it is. 5 ancient inventions that were so incredibly ahead of their time you’d think they were made up. From the computer used by ancient Greeks to steel swords we don’t know how to replicate, this video is a great mix of mystery and history.

Although I caution you with this channel, I recommend Joe’s other videos about mysterious books, as well as his video on the most inbred people in history.

However, I know I keep repeating this, I highly recommend caution with this channel. Perhaps its just me and the topics of life and existent are just triggering for me, but I’d recommend maybe just doing a search for the titles I mentioned and not to go searching through the video library unless you’re not bothered by this kind of thing.

-

Anyway I could keep going, but I think that’s a LARGE amount of videos to keep you occupied for the time being as well as some suggestions for further viewing.

Please enjoy, let me know if you found something interesting, and look after yourself!

If you enjoyed this list at all, please consider tipping me for a coffee

☕️ Ko-fi ☕️

[herradhighpriestess]

The Butcher and the Maiden

Summary:

Summaries are hard, has a definite foundation in the series for names, faces and identities but then goes in a different direction. An abducted Vought scientist, secret formula. Starts slow, but smut and major character deaths ahead. Becca isn’t a part of this Butcher’s world. Lots of triggers and consensual non-consensual activities afoot. I hope you enjoy, xoxo

Chapter One: Outpatient Surgery 

“Were you this much of a sniveling cunt before the Compound V or is this the effect?” Butcher growled before he depressed the trigger on the detonator and watched the Supe’s midsection explode from the C4 belt that Frenchie had wired together from phone charger cords.

“Goddammit Butcher, we needed to try and get some answers first. That’s the fifth Supe you’ve blown up, you know how hard they are to get a hold of,” Mother’s Milk growled as he shook his head.

Butcher chuckled as he wiped grey matter from his forehead. “He wasn’t going to give us anything, these fucking Supe’s are all the same.”

“How do you know? You didn’t even ask him anything?”

“No, but I got this,” Butcher said and tossed a laminated ID badge at MM’s broad chest.

MM examined the badge, seeing it was an access pass for one of Vought’s off-site research facilities.

“So, what, we’re going to go walk right in the front doors?”

“Something like that,” Butcher said with a smirk.

Both men looked to Starlight when she spoke from the doorway.

She couldn’t conceal her disgust at the blown apart and remaining visceral stump of the Supe and averted her gaze up to Hughie as he came to stand beside her.

“I could go there, if I got stopped, I could say I was returning the badge, that I found it.”

Hughie immediately began to protest and both Starlight and Butcher simultaneously interrupted him.

“Let me do this,” Starlight murmured.

“She’s a Supe, she’ll be fine,” Butcher grumbled and pushed past all of them.

Hughie followed him to the shabby bathroom as he wiped a damp cloth over the most obvious of the blood stains he could see and paused when Hughie didn’t move from the doorway.

“Stop getting distracted, your bird wants to help.”

Hughie blew out a breath and stepped aside so Butcher could find Frenchie and the Female and bring everyone together to discuss a way of getting into the Vought facility with the access badge.

Frenchie pulled up some info after hacking a Vought firewall and according to a glossary of Vought’s offsite facilities, this particular badge granted access to a building that was classified as Medical Research and Development.

Frenchie continued to check the schedules of the various companies that hauled away documents to be archived or shredded and trash abatement.

MM noted a few things that would be needed with a stubby pencil on a yellow pad of paper.

Everyone gathered around the dimly lit table in the rundown safehouse. As MM outlined a rough outline of the Vought facility, putting x’s on the entrances and rear access doors as well as the safety required fire escapes, Dr. Olivia Phillips pulled her luxury sedan into her reserved parking space behind the Vought Medical R&D building. She flipped down her visor and checked her teeth to make sure her breakfast bagel from the drive-thru espresso hut hadn’t left a poppyseed lodged in between her front teeth.

Olivia dabbed on a fresh coat of peach gloss before pulling her purse and backpack from the passenger seat. She juggled her coffee as she clicked her key fob and the car beeped twice.

She adjusted the thin strap of the hot pink backpack over her shoulder as her high heels clicked on the pavement of the freshly paved lot.

Olivia gritted her teeth as she slid her access badge and heard her co-worker Craig’s voice sound from behind her.

“Morning Florida,” he drawled.

She fought to keep tension from making her shoulders rise and plastered a saccharin sweet smile on her face before glancing back at him as the door buzzed loudly as it unlocked.

“Good morning Dr. Dalton,” she said and fought to not walk stiffly to the employee lounge and locker room as he called to her back. “Oh, come on, call me Craig.”

Olivia stuffed her bags in her locker and slipped on her lab coat before draining the last of her now tepid coffee and taking the stairs down to the sprawling lab in the basement.

She was buzzed in by security and washed her hands thoroughly before grabbing her daily inventory sheets and reviewing the notes left by the night shift.

Olivia pulled a few cultured specimens from one of the deep-freezes according to an urgent work order from a Vought scientist on the third floor. She tagged the specimen and checked the task off her task list.

Doctor Olivia Phillips had no idea that in just a few hours, her life was going to be completely turned upside down, shaken apart and turned inside out.

Olivia was listening to a voicemail and didn’t hear Craig until he tapped her on the shoulder.

She nearly dropped the phone as he held his hands up and pretended that he hadn’t purposefully made his approach as stealthy as possible.

“How’s it going Florida, what do you have planned for your Friday night?” he asked openly leering at her chest.

“I’ve asked you to not call me that,” Olivia said stiffly and deleted the voicemail.

“Sorry, sorry,” Craig said and leaned on the stainless-steel counter and pulled one of the ink pens from its mesh holder.

Olivia hated her pens getting stolen, so she decorated them with garish artificial hibiscus blossoms and gaudy feathers.

“Come get drinks with me tonight,” he said easily and deftly twirled the blooming pen in his long fingers.

Olivia reminded herself to keep smiling, “no thanks. I’m driving to my parent’s house this weekend, it’s their anniversary.”

“Bring me as your plus one,” he quickly countered.

She shook her head as her smile started to fail around the edges. “It’s just a small family get together; my mom hasn’t been feeling well.”

“You always have an excuse,” Craig said snarkily and shoved the pen back in the crowded holder.

As Olivia took in a deep inhale as the head of Vought’s R&D pouted, across town, MM, Butcher, Hughie and Starlight loaded into the dark nondescript van as Frenchie kick-started the foreign made motorcycle and the Female climbed onto the seat behind him, molding herself against him.

They started towards the Vought facility, obeying all traffic laws, and not drawing any unnecessary attention to themselves.

After checking to make sure it was Friday, they decided to approach through the delivery entrance.

There were several surveillance camera blind spots, but that facility wasn’t considered high-risk for break-ins.

As the van and motorcycle closed the distance between themselves and the facility, in the basement lab, Olivia blew out a relieved breath when Doctor Craig Dalton was paged on the overhead system and he had to leave.

She tapped her fingers on the stainless-steel counter as she listened to the next voicemail message and looked up at her educational accolades in matte grey frames with a simple ivory mat.

“Dad says this job is just a stepping stone,” she mumbled aloud, reminding herself that as soon as she logged enough hours she could get a better job in the main Vought laboratory downtown. She needed two-thousand hours with Dr. Craig Dalton before she could apply.

As she logged some chemical panel results from a high-pitched lab assistant in the downtown lab, MM and Butcher breached the service entrance and went to the right in search of the freight elevator that led to the basement as Hughie, Starlight, Frenchie and the Female took the second freight elevator to the first floor in search of the security office.

Olivia cranked the satellite radio station when one of best classic rock songs ever began to play.

As she sang along to the song in a blissfully unaware off-key tone, out in the hall, a security guard who was taking a smoke break returned early and turned the corner, nearly colliding with MM’s formidable frame.

The fresh-faced guard pulled his firearm as Butcher raised his own gun.

Several gunshots were rapidly exchanged and called the attention of two more nearby guards who began sprinting towards the sound of gunfire.

MM’s hand shot out and pulled the guard into a chokehold and easily snapped his neck, letting his body drop heavily to the gleaming linoleum.

Butcher and MM dashed into an alcove and exchanged gunfire with the two guards. MM threw a flash grenade down the hall and the inexperienced guards were too slow to react and shot wildly as the explosion disoriented them.

MM and Butcher’s sites each found a guard and ended them efficiently with a shot to the head and heart.

Butcher staggered and dropped to one knee as his side felt like it was coming apart. MM saw the blood soaking through his ribbed, grey shirt and half-pulled Butcher to the closest open door.

Olivia nearly fell off her padded stool when MM practically kicked in the door, dragging a bleeding Butcher behind him.

She fumbled for the phone as MM slammed the door shut and engaged the deadbolt.

“Put down the phone,” MM ordered calmly as he aimed his titanium gun at her.

Olivia nodded and replaced the phone and swallowed hard in relief when MM put the gun into his waistband. “You’re a doctor?”

Olivia nodded, not trusting herself to be capable of speech.

“Do you have the supplies here to help him?”

“It’s not really that kind of lab but there are some emergency supplies in the cabinet.”

“Get them,” MM shouted and Olivia scrambled to the cabinet and yanked out a plastic-handled case and nylon duffle bag of emergency supplies. She dropped next to Butcher as she yanked on a pair of snug-fitting green chemotherapy grade gloves.

MM watched Olivia as she yanked Butcher’s blood-soaked shirt out of the way and pressed a large, square gauze to the bullet’s entrance wound. MM dialed Frenchie and told them to pull the van around the back and that Butcher had been injured.

Olivia dug around in Butcher’s side and eventually her gloved fingertips brushed against the bullet lodged in his belly.

“You need to keep pressure on this,” Olivia said to Butcher as she needed both hands to get to the suture kit. The blood threatened to seep around her fingertips as she pressed a fresh white gauze to the wound.

Butcher looked at her and arched an eyebrow, his pupils seemed to truss her up and see inside her before he blinked and added with a ragged chuckle.

“I don’t have time for that love,” he grunted as he leveled his gun at the door as it was broken down and a pair of bulky guards rushed inside.

Olivia blew out a sharp breath and shifted until she could lean her hip against the bandage and hold pressure long enough to dig out a sterile needle and length of sterile suture.

Butcher tried to focus on the door and not the woman who within minutes of seeing him, had a gun pointed at her and was then saving his life. He let his eyes move over every bit of her exposed skin as she put several internal stitches to stop the bleeding and then stitched him close.

She felt herself flush at her uneven stitching. “It’s been a long time since you were in clinical, you stopped the bleeding and that’s what matters,” she told herself.

Olivia looked up startled as a skinny pale guy with huge, unblinking eyes and a cute blonde dropped into the room from an off-white ceiling panel.

“What the fuck is going on?” Olivia murmured to herself, but Butcher heard her. He kept his expression neutral and tried to conceal the pain that was radiating from under her busy, gloved hands.

Olivia taped the edges of a thick absorbent dressing as the skinny guy and blonde each got on a side of her impromptu surgical patient and hauled him to his feet.

She found herself walking with them as they scrambled out the rear of the building, pressing a sterile swab to the wound’s seeping edges.

Olivia shadowed Butcher’s half-carried steps until he helped half-slide himself into the back of a van and then started to back up with the intention of returning to the safety of the building.

“I’m going to need you to get in the van doctor, please don’t make me repeat myself,” MM ordered easily.

Olivia felt her bladder tighten at the emptiness in his words and nodded as she kept her eyes on MM’s broad frame as she climbed into the back of the van.

The skinny guy climbed behind the wheel as the blonde got into the passenger seat. The muscular man pulled the van’s doors closed and Olivia turned her attention back to the man she was pulling a bullet out of just minutes after seeing him for the first time.

Hughie pressed the accelerator and the van lurched as it gained speed. Olivia pressed two smooth fingertips against Butcher’s neck and found his rapidly pounding pulse.

“Don’t worry love, I’m still alive,” Butcher murmured as he sagged against the bare metal floor of the van.

“This will sting,” Olivia murmured as she started a saline IV on Butcher and only had large bore needles available that would part his flesh more than necessary.

She taped the plastic IV catheter in place and injected a broad-spectrum antibiotic, not trusting how sterile her technique was considering the field circumstances.

Butcher grunted and then fell silent as Olivia cleaned the coagulated blood off his side to make sure he had stopped bleeding.

Olivia glanced up at him, finding his eyes closed. “Are you with me?” she asked as she tore off a fresh strip of paper tape and affixed it to his side.

“Yes doctor, but I could use some mouth-to-mouth when you’re done there,” he murmured in a heavy, masculine tone despite the blood loss and ensuing state of shock.

Olivia shook her head and attended to the smaller wounds and lacerations Butcher had sustained as Hughie continued driving the van for another hour before pulling into a low-rent mechanic shop that would serve as the new safer safe house.

MM and Hughie flanked Butcher and moved him to an industrial green cot as Starlight held out her hand towards a visibly shaken and fish belly white Olivia.

“Hi, I’m Annie, I promise you’re going to be okay. Just bear with us a while as we get things straightened out.”

Olivia stared at Annie’s extended hand before tucking her hair behind her ears and clearing her throat.

“Hello, Olivia, Olivia Phillips,” she said and closed her hand around Annie’s as she stood from the rear of the van.

Annie trailed her eyes over Olivia’s blood splattered form. “Let me show you where you can clean up, I have some stuff you can change in to also.”

Olivia felt a touch of relief as she followed Annie to the rear of the auto shop and a shabby bathroom with glorious soap and hot water.

Annie set a stack of clean clothes on the counter and hovered outside the door as Olivia took a long time cleaning up. She washed her hair three times and scrubbed her fingernails until the cuticles threatened to bleed. She turned off the water when it began to cool off and dried with the rough towels before slipping into knit pants and a long-sleeved thermal top and blue-grey hoodie with a local burger chain’s brightly colored logo.

As Olivia got dressed, on the other side of the shop in a room that used to be the manager’s office, MM adjusted the lumpy pillow behind Butcher’s head.

MM paused and looked over when Olivia appeared in the doorway and moved to the other side of the cot. She peeked under the edge of the gauze dressing and nodded in satisfaction that the swelling had not increased nor a return of blood loss.

“Why don’t you go clean up,” Olivia said to MM, gesturing to his blood-stained hands and shirt.

“I’ll stay right here, I swear,” Olivia said dramatically and managed to keep from rolling her eyes.

MM finally nodded and went to clean up in the same cramped bathroom.

Olivia tucked the rough wool blanket around Butcher’s side and felt how saturated his shirt was with blood, sweat and topical antiseptic gel.

She tisked to herself and rooted around in the nylon bag she had carried with her from Vought, the company’s name in bold embroidery on the bag.

Olivia found a couple bottles of sterile water and spied a half-empty cardboard box of clean shop rags in the corner of the room.

She was tearing the cellophane seal on the first bottle of water when Butcher’s pained groan broke into her thoughts.

“Am I going to live?”

“I think so, just don’t aggravate the stiches by moving around too much,” she cautioned before she laid the back of her palm against his forehead as she counted his respirations.

Olivia flinched as he shot out his hand and captured her wrist, keeping her hand pressed to his forehead.

“You should get more rest,” she murmured as she tried to tug her hand free.

Butcher nodded in agreement and gave her wrist a final squeeze before releasing her.

The instant knot dissolved in Olivia’s gut when he let go of her and she adjusted the linen up and around his shoulders.

MM reappeared at the very moment her phone chimed from deep inside her lab coat’s pocket. He crossed the room in three long strides and yanked at her jacket, ripping the pocket until he could close his large hand around her phone.

He frowned as his eyes moved over the text message.

“Are you okay Florida? Call me ASAP,” MM read aloud from the rectangular screen.

“Is that some fucking Vought code?”

Olivia shook her head and stared at her phone solidly in his grip. “It’s a stupid nickname, that’s my direct supervisor.”

Butcher hovered between a conscious and unconscious state, but he heard the stupid nickname and tucked it away for later reference.

Annie rapped on the door jamb and broke the growing heaviness in the small room. “You should get some rest too, we’ll take turns keeping an eye on him,” she said authoritatively nodding towards the passed-out Butcher.

Olivia nodded and followed Annie to another room that had a couple chairs and broken-down sofa kept company by a buzzing, blinking vending machine.

She ate a bag of stale sour cream and onion potato chips and can of flat soda before curling up on the sofa with a similarly scratchy wool blanket that Annie had left for her.

Olivia settled on to her back and shifted uncomfortably as she stared up at the water-stained ceiling.

Her frenzied, stressed mind and physical shock response had her thinking of the most unimportant things.

“I forgot to mail the mortgage,” she whispered to the empty room as she thought about the rectangular envelope on her hallway oak entry table. “Will I ever get to wear that new DVF to Caroline’s wedding?” she murmured before sleep finally conquered her taxed system.

Hours passed as she slept, her future still murky and composed of the unknown.

[thisisthehardestthing]

wait r u fr? tumblr ate the ask? pls i’m so fuckin mad i literally typed paragraphs about how much i loved it so here we go i’m gonna try to be more coherent this time:

this mafia fic is my favorite haikyuu fic i’ve ever read and one of my fave fics in general. like the amount of hard work and research u put into it is so clear and it shows in the amazing quality of the fic. ur pacing, the flow of ur words, ur characterizations of tanaka and val, the way u pull off that last scene. everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those. like wow i really am in awe of ur talent and i’m so thankful for ur hard work and the fact that u posted this like u rlly took me thru an emotional ride and gave me such a good piece of writing to enjoy and i love that.

okay so: details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic. stuff like the name of the designers and the names of organizations and stuff in the fic helps me picture the scenes so much and it just really adds to the extravagant feel of the fic.

with symbolism, i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic. like i deadass gasped when the viper necklace was crushed in the final scene at the end right before tanaka did it. the parallels!!!! god ur so good at writing and obviously ur brain is huge to have thought of that and seamlessly included it into the fic.

okay so idk what the proper term for this is but like, the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters. like ofc tanaka would pull the necklace out of his pocket at just that moment as a way to reveal to daichi what he felt. it’s just so perfect and so true to the person he is in the fic. about his characterization, god i love it so much. all of the pain and yearning and sheer want in his person were clearly conveyed thru his perspectives and his actions. like that boy just wants to be loved and that’s why it made such good narrative sense to have daichi ask him who he loves more in the scene right before the ending. like i saw the tag for death and expected a million things but u somehow managed to surprise me and yet still stay true to the world and characters u created and ugh, it’s all so perfect.

speaking of, the pacing of this fic is so good. like u manage to take us thru a whirlwind time period that doesn’t feel fast or drawn out or anything other than perfect. u have such a good awareness of pacing that it makes me so jealous and yet so pleased as a reader. like nothing about their love confessions or trysts felt rushed or forced. it felt so natural and true to the people they were and the world that they live in.

also i said before in the other ask how i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment and they manage to be hot but they also reveal so much about the characters involved. like i’m specifically thinking of the scene in tanaka’s home where she asks why he won’t touch her and he says that she didn’t give him permission. like the love and devotion in that way of thinking felt so true and yet in the end he still did it and ugh that breaks my heart in the best way bc i know my pain as a reader is nothing next to his pain as a character. i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly bc u created a world and a cast of characters that are so interesting like i would literally read books about them. (esp val. i loved how headstrong and proud she was but also how weak and emotional she could be. her ending made me sad but u kno, it made sense) and i’m especially curious to find out how tanaka copes after. like i can’t imagine that daichi would just accept his loyalty again but u do manage to surprise me in the best way so who knows. but i also mourn for him which is a little odd for me bc after finding out that he knew about daichi’s affair i felt betrayed and it hurt for some reason which is so interesting bc i trusted him and felt like i knew him, but u still managed to keep parts of him hidden, which is so cool.

oh and despite the tragic ending, u fed us so good with scenes of the two everywhere. like i love how we got to see tanaka and val in their own homes and at parties and we truly got to see how they act when they’re alone and when they’re comfortable and when they’re playing the part of loyal bodyguard or loyal wife. ugh it’s all so good and tbh i only finished it like maybe half an hour again but i already want to read it again bc it was so fucking good and the way u write emotions like yearning and heartbreak is so good like ugh. everything about the way u wrote this fic was so amazing and fuck tumblr for eating my ask but i hope i at least manage to repeat the majority of what was in the og ask lol.

hello anon <3

It is the weekend so I finally have enough brain power to reply.

I wanted to be selfish and keep this in my inbox forever, because this might be the kindest, most appreciative thing everyone has ever said to me about my writing. Toska is a piece of my heart and my soul in written word, and to have received something like this? It’s... indescribable. You have picked up on so many of the small details, symbols, and more that I littered throughout the fic, and you’ve called out the things that I was excited about people reading and reacting to.

Fic Spoilers below the cut.

everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those.

Thank you so much. I constantly worried that it was too long, too boring, that there wasn’t enough smut in there to be sexy, or that the plot ultimately didn’t make sense. This means everything to me. Pacing is one of the most important things in a fic to me, because I am the kind of person that easily loses interest when I read. 

details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic.

ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I’m glad this helped you to picture everything! I actually used real life dresses, shoes, locations (google Villa La Vigie, it is STUNNING). I was a fashion student, and I now work in the fashion industry so small details to convery luxury is extremely important to me. I love that it made all the difference to you.

i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic.

fuck, wow. this. This is what I was truly hoping for. I love figuring out foreshadowing in movies, in books, in tv series. I try to write things that foreshadowing what going to happen in the end throughout of every one of my fics, but this is the first time someone called it out, and I am truly grateful for it. The viper necklace thing is a moment I was very proud of. and when Tanaka tells Val to stop talking about Daichi when they’re alone on the bed together: that’s the first instance where we see his guilt that he knows. Also, when Tanaka says “why dont i finish what I started,” is another thing I linked to the ending.

the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters.

kasjsdfhksjdfsd I always thought people could see right through me and how I was going to end it!!!!!!! This means so much thank you! I kept thinking, “fuck people know he’s going to kill her, this is so predictable, all these extra scenes are so boring, is it even worth it?” so AH thank you!

thank you again for the pacing comment <3

i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment 

hehehehehehe this makes me very happy. tbh, I wasn’t expecting there to be SO MUCH PLOT when I wrote this fic. I had mapped everything out and planned for it to be about... 5k? words? It ended up being 21k all together lmao. I actually thought there wasn’t enough smuttiness in the entire thing, so thanks for letting me now that it was just the right amount. I was worried because the only time I actually describe them fucking with Tanaka’s dick inside her, is that measley one paragraph at the Monte Carlo Casino. When I realised that, I was in utter shock. I was texting @mindninjax in the discord server like “FUCK. I can’t believe I haven’t actually written sex sex.” Then I went into thinking how disappointed people were going to be and phew, it was a whirlwind of a night.

i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly

ask away, send in questions. I built this world beyond what I’ve written. I have character layouts and plans for every person I introduced, and have ideas for fics on all of them.

To answer your question, I knew exactly how I wanted it to end before I began writing. That end scene is what I thought of first. Exactly like that, with it being cut off mid-sentence to represent her being shot. That sort of “boom” or feeling of shock where you just stare at the screen is the exact reaction I wanted to get when I finished writing, so I hope that is what happened.

So just, thank you so much anon. For everything, for taking the time to write out this ask a second time after Tumblr ate the first one. It has kept me going since the day you sent it. I really appreciate you, and please, chat to me anytime x

Thank you.

Spasiba x

[starryeyedcas]

I'm dropping a timeline of my South Park town in the Sims lmao (this is messy as FUCK btw and just drabble so-- reader beware //of my brain nonsense)

So I started by creating the boys and their families and then I quit playing for like a month (because doing all that work was just too much xD)

But I had all of the boys start out as children and I wanted to build there relationships from there. (as of now I have not made the girls other than Wendy and Bebe)

I dunno how most of y'all be playing the Sims but I have a story running thru my head throughout all of it and that's what makes it so fun for me xD My roommate can't relate

Anyways

After I got finished building everyone's relationships* ALL WITHOUT CHEATING BY THE WAY- I was able to play as Craig and Tweek, which I wanted to do in the first place.

I decided not to force age my sims and the save file is set for the sims to have a normal lifespan while the seasons are 7 [sim] days long. So essentially, I would have to play for 56 days of the boys as children. Or 8 sim weeks/ 2 sim years.

I dunno if y'all have ever waited for your sims to age up naturally BUT HOLY WORDS IT IS AGONIZING.

But I wasn't going to give up. For a while, I played solely as Tweek. He was a straight A student, he joined the scouts and earned all of this badges. He completed 2 out of 4 aspirations for children (Rambunctious Scamp and the Creative one) and by the time he aged up he had mastered the piano skill and had written and published a song. 

Craig kept up in school even better than Tweek. He would do extra credit work and was mastered in the logic skill before he aged up. He had completed 3 of the 4 aspirations. Rambunctious scamp, Social Butterfly, and the Whiz Kid.

I spent most of the time playing as Craig and Tweek and didn't really play with the other characters that much, but lemme tell you, it's really cool to have all the boys playing at the park at the same time. And when they would come home from school it would be like: "Craig wants to invite over classmate Token, is that okay?" and I was just like :D

I was able to do a little with Kenny, he was doing okay in school, but due to poor living conditions was never really happy. I got him a dog that's agressive and runs away a lot, so I felt like that built him up into what he is now.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO

The Teen Years**

this is where I am currently. Everyone is aged up except for uh, Clyde - Butters - Token - Eric. (they'll age up in few more [sim] days)

So immediately, as they aged up, Craig and Tweek hit it off. They are in a relationship... kind of. (more on this later)

Craig is a lifeguard afterschool and keeps up his A grade. He's also really into fitness and works out alllll the time. He is obsessed with Tweek, he loves him to death. He's got pictures of the two of them together all over the house.

Tweek on the other hand enjoys writing and playing music. He also keeps up his grades but he's not as meticulous with it as Craig is. Craig gave Tweek a promise ring and now Tweek is promised to him.

This is where things get a little interesting on my end---

I got a little bored playing with Tweek and Craig and their loving committed relationship (call it the Gemini in me) and I went to play Kenny (unrelated but he is a major comfort character of mine).

Kenny is a serial romantic. What can I say, the guy likes to have a good time. SO I have Kenny run over to Stan's house and they start dating. Kenny leaves Stan's house and run's into Tweek and they start FLIRTING.

Out of curiosity, I had Kenny ask Tweek if he was in a relationship and Tweek said NO. So Kenny saw an open window and climbed in- BAM he and Tweek start dating too. Everything is on the DL of course.

Meanwhile, Kenny is teaching himself how to sing. He practices a lot in public, which gets him FAMOUS. So now he's a famous person who flirts with anything that moves.

But the way I see it is, yes, Kenny flirts a lot. He is a bird you can't keep in a cage, but he will always come back home. And to Kenny, that home is Stan. How does Stan feel about it? Well I imagine that when Stan finds out JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE Kenny has been with, he's not going to like it very much. Especially since one of those people is Tweek, one of Kenny's closest friends.

HOWEVER like I said, Kenny is a bird and his home is Stan. Kenny loves Stan a lot and I imagine that when Stan find out about everything Kenny has been doing behind his back, they will break up and go their separate ways. But when they get older, and Kenny is ready to settle down, he'll seek out Stan and see if they wanna try things again. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it-

I've got big plans for Butters, however. He adores the shit out of Kenny, and I imagine when Butters' ages up he'll be Kenny's new "home" for a while. But we all know Butters deserves better so, I'm gonna have to find a way to give him a happy arc at some point.

--I'll come back and update this later--

* How I set up the boys relationships as children

Eric Cartman

Best friends with Stan, Kyle, Kenny

Good Friend with Tweek (idk how that happened)

Friends with Craig, Butters, Clyde, Token

Stan Marsh

Best friends with Kyle, Kenny, Eric

Friends with Tweek, Craig, and Butters

Acquaintances with the rest

Kyle Broflovski

Best friends with Stan, Eric, and Kenny

Friends with Butters, Tweek, and Craig

Acquaintances with the rest

Kenny McCormick

Kenny's fucking friends with everyone dude

Tweek Tweak

Best Friends with Craig and Kenny

Friends with the main four and the rest of Craig's gang

Acquaintance - Butters

Craig Tucker

Best friends with Token, Clyde, and Tweek

Friends with the main four

Acquaintance - Butters

** The Teen Relationships so far

I have worked on this one a whole lot just yet so you only get a snippet of what I have xD

Craig Tucker

Promised to Tweek Tweak. (but the game says they aren't in a relationship so....?)

Good Friends with Kenny McCormick and bunch of random villagers

Tweek Tweak

In an official relationship with Kenny McCormick

Promised to Craig Tucker

Friends with Kyle

Kenny Mccormick

In official relationships with Stan Marsh, Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski, and 2 random sim townies

Having flings with at least 8 other sim townies (but they aren't that serious or official)

Good friends with Butters xD

[joannie95]

Legacy- Part 34

Pairing: Carter! reader x ?????

Summary:  Everyone knows Peggy Carter is a force to be reckoned with, who could have guessed her granddaughter would hold the same ferocity, if not more.This story follows y/n Carter’s life as she faces the obstacles life pitches her.

Warnings: Swearing, mentioned death, injury and a lot of angst

A/N: Thank you to @mo320 for proofreading and helping with the ideas for this chapter you’ve been a huge help and I really appreciate it 

Hours had gone by with no update, you were currently in the waiting room with Clint, Natasha, Phil and your grandma all by your side. You tried to keep calm but inside you were a wreck, you were bouncing your leg up and down, biting your nails and occasionally pulling at your hair in pure frustration.

“Why hasn’t anyone come out here with an update. That can’t be good, if he were fine someone would have told us.” You kept rambling as you got up and started pacing the floor. You turned around when you saw everyone looking at the door.

A doctor was walking towards you, neutral face not revealing the news. “Agents, I’m Dr. Sanders. Agent Abbott sustained major blood loss, the pipe hit the hepatic portal vein near his liver. He flat lined on the table and we weren’t able to resuscitate him. I’m sorry, but he’s gone.”

There was a loud ringing in your ears and you saw the doctor’s mouth moving. You don’t remember falling to the ground, you can hear yourself screaming and crying. You feel strong arms wrapped around you and what sounds like. “It’s going to be ok.” But you knew it wouldn’t be.

The first week you felt numb, you don’t remember much of it. You got time off work and your grandma decided you were in no state to be alone so she packed your bag and brought you to her house. You cried, a lot. Barely ate and if you did it was because your grandma wouldn’t let you leave the table until you did. You don’t know how you made it thru the funeral, Craig didn’t have any family so it was just you, Clint, Natasha, Phil, Darcy, Nick and your grandma. 

Clint was extremely distant that first week, you think it’s because of the guilt he felt. But you couldn’t and wouldn’t blame him, none of you could have guessed that there was a third person being held captive in the abandoned hospital. At the funeral Clint pulled you and Natasha off to the side. “I didn’t realize how close I was to being in his position out there. He saved my life, if it weren’t for him it’d be my family out here. I wanted to give you two a gift, if something ever does happen I want you guys to have something to remember me by.” He pulled 2 necklaces out of his pocket with a small arrow in the center.

You each put them on and pulled him into a hug. You said your goodbyes and decided to stick around the cemetery a little longer. You sat in front of his grave, you didn’t realize it had started raining or that the sun had gone down.

“You’re going to get sick.” He stood behind you covering you with an umbrella.

“You know I can’t get sick Phil, what do you want?”

“Peggy called, she said you hadn’t come home yet and assumed you were still here.” He sat down next to you.

“It hurts so much Phil.” You sniffled and started to cry again. 

“I know kid, but it’s going to be ok I promise. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but it will be.” He helped you up and took you home.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” You looked ahead and spoke in a monotone voice.

The second week you felt angry. Angry at Craig for leaving you, angry at yourself for waiting so long to tell him how you felt and wasting so much time where you could have been together and happy. You locked yourself in your lab and you wouldn’t open the door for anyone. You gave Albert clear instructions not to open the doors for anyone. You couldn’t take the pain, he lied. He promised it would be fine and he never broke a promise. You felt yourself snap. You started by throwing everything off your desk, breaking frames and flipping tables. You knocked over a shelf and threw it across the room. Your mind was so focused on destroying everything in your lab you didn’t hear banging on the door and people yelling to open the door. As you were about to throw a chair you noticed a broken picture on the floor. It was taken on your birthday after meeting Craig, you both looked so happy. You were smiling and he was kissing your cheek and in an instant you went from angry to heartbroken. You would never see his smiling face again, you lost it and started sobbing. 

Your grandma stood on the other side of the door. “Dear, please open the door. I know it hurts trust me, but I need you to let me in. Albert open the door this instant.”

“I’m sorry ma'am but I can’t do that, I was given orders not to.” Your AI spoke.

“Albert override code 06 dash 15 dash 96. Now open the doors now.” She spoke in an assertive tone and the doors opened immediately. She ran towards you and wrapped her arms around you. “I know dear just let it all out.”

“He was my friend, and he said he loved me and he just died. How could he make me fall in love with him just for him to leave me.” You were inconsolable at this point, you needed to cry until you couldn’t cry anymore. After some time you stopped crying. Your grandma pulled you up and decided to take you home. Once you reached the door you looked up and saw Natasha Clint and Phil. In a monotone voice and an expressionless face you spoke. “I can’t do this anymore, I’m done, I quit.” They were stunned but before they could say anything your grandma took you home.

Legacy Tags:

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