#and rep tour we couldn't go because we couldn't afford it

[drivemysoul]

i literally regret not going to rep tour every single time i think about it and the fact i probably can't go to mdinights tour is making me so sad

[la-appel-du-vide]

01•07•24 - My First NFL Game

Sunday was all about Game Day, but we started by taking my dad to brunch at the Eiffel Tower restaurant. It's my favorite way to do luxury dining in Las Vegas, because yes it's still expensive, but it's much more affordable than a dinner would be. And the food is SO good. We ended up with the perfect window seat and view - the only downside is that Vegas is still cleaning up after the F1 course, so the Bellagio Fountains were blocked by equipment. But otherwise, it was gorgeous. You get a three course meal, and I had a garden salad, the filet mignon with au gratin potatoes, and apple strudel. Dad also got a steak, and he couldn't stop talking about how delicious the sauce on it was, so a big win there! I was happy we could treat him to a nice meal, because he does the most for everyone at all times.

After brunch, we made our way down to Allegiant Stadium. I was able to buy a last-minute ticket for less than normal value, since neither team was in the running for the play-offs at this point, and prices tend to drop day-of. The plan was for me to sit with Dad in the good seats for one half, and then to switch and let B sit with Dad for the other half. The parking lots were packed with tailgaters, and it was a party environment immediately. I was happy to be repping the Raiders, and B kept his Broncos gear subtle hahah.

We got some drinks and found our seats, and we were ready for kick-off! Some very boisterous Bronco fans sat next to me, and we started off on the wrong foot with them jazzing me about "Let's go Broncos, am I right?" and I thought they'd be the worst kind of fans, but they ended up being pretty chill. One of them even bought me and dad new drinks and a tub of popcorn partway through the game, and that won me over real quick. Plus, when they heard our group was separated, they literally gave up their seats mid-way through the third quarter so we could all sit together. Super kind.

Luckily, the Raiders won, 27-14! The Broncos didn't have a great game. I felt for B, but this was Dad's birthday gift, and he deserved a win.

We stopped at Cafe Rio for dinner after the game, and then ended up spending our night watching The Golden Globes! Taylor Swift's Eras Tour movie was nominated, so I was on Taylor watch, but award shows can be fun. I haven't watched one start to finish like that in awhile, so that was an unexpected end to our little Vegas getaway! We flew home fairly early on Monday, and I went straight to work. Love that for me.

[poison-ivy-to-daisy]

Here's a moment of honesty. This could be triggering for some.

Last year, before I went to rep tour and met Taylor. I wasn't having a good go of it. I was extremely depressed, anxious and scared. I didn't have many friends. I spent all of my time alone. I'd go to work and then go straight home. I had no life. Everything that could go wrong did. I was asked to move out by my old roommate. I didn't have any money saved. I was freaking out big time. Plus my 30th birthday was coming up. I was terrified I was gonna be homeless. Just my cat and I. When I found out Taylor was coming to Atlanta I was actually excited for something! I entered every contest imaginable. Cause I couldn't afford to go. Then night 1 came and nothing. The morning of night 2 I just slipped deeper and deeper into the darkness. My thoughts terrified me. I just didn't want to do anything anymore. I was tired of struggling. Tired of my anxiety. Tired of being alone. Just tired. I wanted my life to be over. Then not long after a friend messaged me. Asking what I was doing that night. She then surprised me with a ticket to see Taylor. She had seen how sad and upset I had been. She wanted to give me an early birthday gift. I couldn't believe it. I was absolutely shocked. Good, amazing things like that don't ever happen to me. I thanked her so much and rushed home to change and go to the show. I was in heaven. I went alone. Which is normally nerve-wracking for me, but I was determined to have a good time! I got a drink and then sat and waited for the show to start. When Taylor came out I was in awe. Like pinch me I must be dreaming. In that moment I let everything fall off of me. The fear, the anxiety, my depression and my darkness. I just wanted to take it all in. I jumped. I screamed and I sang along. I had never in my life been so happy. During Call It What You Want I saw some people leaving and I figured the show was almost over. I was a little sad, but so happy that I got to experience everything. When the cannons blew the confetti I just looked up and watched it all rain down. It was so beautiful and in that moment I was so so happy. I just closed my eyes and danced. When I opened them and looked to my right Andrea Swift was walking towards me. In that moment everything stopped. I think I even stopped breathing. I was like, she isn't coming to me. There's no way she's coming to me. Yet she was. I was shaking so hard. We talked for a bit and then she asked if I wanted to meet Taylor. I said yes and could've exploded in that moment. She hugged me and they put wrist bands on me. I was overjoyed. Too excited to even cry. Random people came up and hugged me and congratulated me. My first concert and I was meeting Taylor. Being in rep room with everyone else who loved Taylor as much as me was the best. I couldn't eat much cause I was nervous, but I tried. Everything was perfect. Then she came in and I swear I forgot to breathe. It all went by so fast and talking to her was the best. Taylor is so sweet and attentive. She really really cares. She tries to take everything you're saying in. I don't normally get that kind of attention. I didn't tell her exactly what I was going through. Just that I loved her music and it has helped me a lot. Before all this I was seriously thinking of ending everything. I was just so tired because nothing good was coming my way. Then 2 amazing things happened. Then a week later a friend reached out and told me she had a room available. So much good kept coming my way. Telling me I had so much to live for and it all started with a ticket to see Taylor Swift.

If you've read this far thank you. Just know the darkness doesn't last forever. I'm still struggling with my anxiety and depression, but I know I'll be able to rise above it one day. Thank you to my few friends, Mama Swift and Taylor. They're the bright spot in my darkest days.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[keeleighlovestaylorswift]

Rep room Chicago. The best night of my life. My mom saw her walking to us when Taylor was singing Shake It Off and she almost started crying lol. I saw her and almost froze I couldn't believe it. 😅 💕

Taylor smelled like cucumbers and her skin was sooo soft. She gave the best hugs. I couldn't believe she knew about the time when I was only 2 years old the first time I saw her in concert.

Andrea Swift was so nice and hugged me and my mom 2 or 3 time and pinched my cheeks LOL. She loved my costume and was so nice and let us go to the front of the line to meet Taylor because it was so late.

My mom and I also met Martha Hunt when she came up to us and said hi and how much she liked my costume. We didn't know who she was though LOL. Until I showed my big brother a picture of her the day after the concert. He was freaking out. 😅😅😅

I love and miss you Taylor. I won't be able to see you at Lover tour because we live in Chicago and can't afford to go to either stadiums. I hope one day I can see you and Andrea again and you'll remember me. You mean so much to me and you helped me when my Nana died. Our favorite special song is You Belong With Me. Me, my nana and my mom always used to sing it all the time.

Anyways happy anniversary of ME and I can't wait to hopefully see you again.

Love,

Keeleigh ❣

@taylorswift

@taylornation

[darkroomdarkroom-deactivated]

[Taylor Swift & Future:]

I wanna be your end game she wants to be with him forever, no matter the obstacles - blunt

I wanna be your first string sports ref: the first string are the regular players who are the first picks - she wants to be this guy’s number 1

I wanna be your A-Team A-Team was an ‘80s tv show that was about a group of people imprisoned for a crime they didn’t commit before escaping and becoming a really tight-knit group, which is how she wants to be with this guy (there’s also a nice ref. to ed’s song ‘A Team’ here - referring to Class A drugs, linking to ‘you’re so dope, don’t overdose’ and don’t blame me ref. ‘my drug is my baby’

I wanna be your end game, end game

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations both of them are famous

Aah, and you heard about me reminiscent of blank space (and I know you heard about me) - she knows that everybody she meets will have a preconception of her

Ooh, I got some big enemies (yeah) because of her big reputation, naturally she has enemies, perhaps for no reason other than the fact that she’s famous and people are jealous; implication here is also that she is warning him

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation people would gossip; another warning

Aah, and I heard about you (yah) she’s heard about him the same we she knows he’s heard about her; mutual awareness of each other’s craft and accompanying media attention

Ooh, you like the bad ones, too is she assuming he likes the bad ones? or does she think he likes bad ones because he likes her, and all he knows of her is her bad reputation? (blank space ref.) [Future:]

You so dope, don't overdose don’t blame me ref. ‘my drug is my baby’, and ed’s ‘A Team’ 

I'm so stoked, I need a toast this is why we can’t have nice things ref and also new year’s day

We do the most, I'm in the ghost like I'm whippin' a boat I got a reputation, girl, that don't precede me (yah) Future is the only one of the three artists who says his rep isn’t upfront - original Gorgeous lyric

I'm a call away whenever you need me (yeah) ready to help her whenever she needs, desperate to be by her side

I'm in a G5 (yeah), come to the A-Side (yeah) reminds this girl that his lifestyle includes a lot of travelling like in a G5 jet, but he wants her to be part of it by inviting her to ‘live on the A-side’, his hometown of Atlanta, GA

I got a bad boy persona, that's what they like (what they like) again with the bad boy/girl idea, and the idea that a bad boy persona is what they think they want

You love it, I love it, too, 'cause you my type (you my type) A bad boy persona does not connote a happy relationship, and yet both he and this girl like the idea of him being a bad boy - interesting that he’s as invested in creating a rep for himself as this girl is

You hold me down and I protect you with my life this seems much sweeter than the rest of the verse, this girl grounds him and he loves her for it

[Taylor Swift & Future:]

I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be / Just another ex-love you don't wanna see she doesn’t want to get involved with someone who she will fall for, only to be cast aside when she is no longer interesting

I don't wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you) she knows she could fall for this guy hard, and so doesn’t want to be in a position where she gets hurt

Like the other girls do she knows this guy had left girls hurting before, and has no wish to join them

I don't wanna hurt you, she also doesn’t want to put him in a position where he will get loads of spite from the media

I just wanna be / Drinking on a beach with you all over me relates to all the island/oasis imagery on this album, because she wants to be by herself with him, away from the media she’d also pretty keen to get off with him

I know what they all say (I know what they all say) she knows what her reputation is, she knows what he’s probably thinking

But I ain't tryna play blank space ref. ‘because i love the players’ - she knows he might mistrust her intentions

[Taylor Swift:] chorus

[Ed Sheeran:]

Now well, when I was young, we connected ed and taylor met when he was ‘young’ in the music industry - she reached out to him to open for the red tour when he was a new artist

When we were little bit older, both sprung now that they’re both a bit more weathered with the ways of the industry

I got issues and chips on both of my shoulders he now understands how the media really shade and defame artists, when they have done nothing wrong

Reputation precedes me and rumours are knee-deep ‘rep precedes’ lyric that’s in all the verses, and he is aware that the rumours are thick and tangled - he hasn’t a hope in hell of getting rid of them

The truth is, it's easier to ignore it, believe me shake it off basically

Even when we'd argue, we'd not do it for long healthy relationship: aware of and know each other unlike the media

And you understand the good and bad end up in a song he’s a songwriter: often the bad is focused on by critics, despite the good being there too

For all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease naturally a beautiful person

For all my flaws, paranoia and insecurities he knows he’s flawed and weathered from the media, and he appreciates her tolerance of it

I've made mistakes and made some choices, that's hard to deny he knows he’s made mistakes, but the media use those mistakes against him like he isn’t human

After the storm, something was born on the 4th of July ed invited his old schoolmate to taylor’s 4th of july party 2015, and they reconnected; at her 2016 party, ed and cherry celebrated their year anniversary also the storm imagery links to call it what you want

I've passed days without fun, this end game is the one he wants this future

With four words on the tip of my tongue, I'll never say it could be ‘will you marry me?’ instead he says ‘i’ll never say it’

[Taylor Swift & Ed Sheeran:] pre chorus

[Taylor Swift:] chorus

[Taylor Swift & Future]

[Taylor Swift:]

I hit you like bang reminiscent of ‘we were a shotgun shot in the dark’ from getaway car, and and lwymmd ‘you said the gun was mine’ - she hit him  suddenly when he was least expecting it - or maybe he was shocked at how different she was from her reputation

We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't tried to forget the connection they had; dating other people? - gorgeous (i’ve got a boyfriend, if you’ve got a girlfriend’)

And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put 'em she does forgive but she never forgets, because she can’t afford to with the nature of the current music industry

Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy more blank space refs, and the ‘rep precedes me’ line

I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me she’s really having fun here (the satire is so funny); she’s saying she doesn’t enjoy the drama, but attracts it anyway - ref to lwymmd ‘and the world goes on another day another drama drama’

And I can't let you go, your hand prints on my soul ref back to ‘we tried to forget it, but we just couldn't’, and  ref to dress - ‘there is an indentation in the shape of you’ - he’s left a mark on her soul, even though she didn’t want to let herself be vulnerable to missing them, she couldn’t help it

It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold all the drinking refs in this album come to mind, as do the drug refs - she;s addicted to this guy, just like she didn’t want to be, and dress ref ‘golden tattoo’

You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks he knows her a whole lot better than she thinks; he knew her rep wasn’t real

So here's a truth from my red lips she references ‘truth’ just like ed; truth versus reputation style ref ‘red lip classic thing that you like’ she’s about to stop playing tricks and tell him honestly that she wants to be his end game

[Taylor Swift, Future & Ed Sheeran:] pre chorus this is the only collaboration on the album, and was hinted at in the ready for it music video with ‘eddy’ and ‘future’ written in graffiti

[tswift]

I love what you said about Reputation not getting one more single. One of my biggest regrets with this era is not going to a Rep concert (couldn't afford it) because I feel like after it's over she might not revisit it in the future. When an album's out, it's sometimes a good idea to strike while the iron is hot, and I hope we got one more single or a music video for Getaway Car - something!! lol Love your blog!

aw thank you honey! we may get one more video but it will probably be a tour compilation video like how she did w/ new romantics, red, sparks fly and fearless. i’m sorry you couldn’t go to the rep concert but i’m sure we’ll get a DVD so at least there’s that!

[teeteepeedee]

I can understand why the rep tour verified fans get presale access first, but I know there were a ton of ppl like me who wanted to go but couldn't and I know it's not meant to be like a punishment for not seeing the rep tour but it doesn't feel great. I couldn't get the day off when she came to my city in 2018, I asked as soon as dates were announced. I didn't register for the verified fan presale bc there was no point and now this go around that's going to hurt my chances of getting a ticket.

Hey anon! I definitely understand this!! I’m in the exact same boat. I was really counting on being able to see Taylor live for the first time next year because I can finally afford it but I guess not. 😔 I’ve just been telling myself all day that it’s okay because (hopefully) we have more dates available in the future! It really stinks but at this point it’s beyond changing so I’m just kinda 🤷🏼‍♀️ and really trying to not let it bother me! Also, definitely try for tickets after the presale is over!! I venues are pretty big so maybe you’ll still be able to get tickets!

I’m super happy for the fans who get the boost, though!! At least they don’t have to watch the same video 500 times again. 😅 Also super happy for the international fans who have Taylor coming for the first time in years!!!