#and removes ten from lauren's HJSDFHSDBFHDSG

[cursed-ice-spirits]

Their Mothers’ Love

During the night of Mother’s Day Rebecca and Lauren ( @strawberrysunrisewitches ) talk about their mothers and how much they love them. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”

“Yeah, but I just couldn’t I guess.”

Lauren’s frown peered out from the two-way mirror they shared, her arms folded. Rebecca paused as she adjusted the mirror from where it was set against the wall and frowned right back. 

“Don’t look at me like that. I haven’t been able to sleep for more than an hour.”

Lauren’s frown didn’t let up, still looking concerned. “Bex, please, what’s wrong? You usually can’t sleep when something’s troubling you.”

Caught. Rebecca gave a frustrated huff, glaring down at her Potions homework, the words starting to spin together from how tired she is. ”I don’t know.” She messed with some of the pages, her eyes averted away from her friend. “Today has been... complicated.”

"Complicated how?" Lauren asked. "Did the fucker Lockwood do something"

Rebecca laughed, her mood lifting slightly. “No.” She dripped her quill in her inkwell and wrote a note down. Valerian sprigs can be used in several potions such as the Forgetfulness Potion, the Sleeping Draught, and the Fire-Breathing Potion. “It’s Mother’s Day in the UK. My dorm mates were talking about their mothers a few hours ago and I guess I just felt weird about it.”

"Is your relationship with your mother not very good or is she not in the picture?"

“Neither.” Rebecca gave a frustrated sigh and lifted her gaze up, rubbing her eyes. “She’s there and she loves me but at the same time, she’s not all there. It’s... complicated.”

Lauren pursed her lips and sighed. "I think I understand. My dad is the same way. He loves me, but he's not there in terms of affection for years now. So I can see why you would feel weird about your dorm mates talking about their mothers."

Rebecca paused, her lips twitching into a frown. Lauren never mentioned that... she shrugged it off, promising to ask about it later. Lauren will tell her when she’s ready. “Yeah, I guess parents can suck sometimes.” She continued to work on her homework. “It’s not my mum’s fault. I don’t think she even can fix her mistakes. The process of forgiving and forgetting is a little complicated with that in the way.”

"Forgiving and Forgetting is always complicated even without their inability to fix their mistakes,” Lauren agreed, her face softening, “but it takes a lot of courage and compassion to do so. It's always hard being reminded about what you are missing."

“Yeah,” Rebecca nodded, a faint smile on her face. 

A comfortable silence settled between them. Rebecca continued to struggle through her homework, eyes drooping as her handwriting continued to grow more sloppier. She can hear rustling of papers from Lauren’s end, and guess she was working on her own homework as well. She pursed her lips, pushing her fingers through her long hair. Despite how tired she is, her mind is still racing that she couldn’t sleep even if she tried.

This is why she hates Mother’s Day. She can never sleep that well. It had her thinking about her mother and how she may never be able to recover from her madness now that her father and brother are gone. The Vaults and her curse are hard enough even with a full night of sleep. 

Her friends always said she can’t always keep everything in and expect herself to be okay. She’s pretty sure Ethren agrees as well. He always looked more at ease after telling everyone about his curse back when the Fear Vault was still active. Like a small weight of his burden had been lifted from his shoulders. She had yet to tell anyone about her own curse but…

Maybe she can start by telling Lauren about her mother.

It’s a start. Sure, it’s not her curse, but she hadn’t talked about her mother in six years, so maybe it’ll help talking about her. 

The scratching of her quill slowed to a stop. Lauren looked up at the sudden silence, raising her eyebrow. 

“I…” Rebecca shifted, wondering if maybe it’s not too late to back out and say she’s just tired but the look in Lauren’s eye stopped her, encouraging her to open up. 

Finally, she sighed and set down her quill. “My mum used to work for noble families. It wasn’t that that bothered me, it’s just that she was very secretive during my childhood. I had this... problem that she tried helping me with, but at the same time, she tried to protect me by keeping secrets all the time when being open to me would have helped me a lot more than just keeping secrets. I loved her, but it still hurt. I just wanted her to be honest for once.” She turned away. “In the end, it didn’t matter. She went mad a couple years ago.”

"Oh, Rebecca,” Lauren said, looking pained. “I’m so sorry; that must have been incredibly hard on you. You just wanted her to be open about everything, but she went the completely opposite direction and now she can't make up for that. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Rebecca reached toward the mirror. “You just being there to listen helps a lot. I can forgive her all I want, but I’ll never forget, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. Forgive and never forget, y’know?”

"I will always be here to listen and talk with you, Bex," Lauren said, smiling slightly. “And yeah. You can forgive someone, but you can never forget what they did.”

“I guess you’re right.” She paused, then smiled. “Thanks Lauren.”

"Anytime Bex," Lauren smiled. She took off her hat, looking at it with a wistful look. “Have I ever told you why I wear this hat all the time?”

Rebecca peered curiously into the mirror, staring at the Stetson resting in Lauren’s hands. She was always very fond of it, and Rebecca never saw her without it. She wondered why she’s bringing it up now. “No, you haven’t actually. Why?”

A sad smile flashed over her face. "Since we are talking about family and forgiving but not forgetting, I felt it was about time I did. It was a gift from my mom, the last gift she ever gave me. She was killed in a car crash when I was young. I was in the car too and she died almost instantly. The other driver was drunk driving and you'd think i'd blame them to this day but I've forgiven them. I will never stop wearing this hat until I die and I mean that. Not even my family are allowed to wear it most. That’s how much I’m protective over it. I will never stop wearing this and I will never forget my mom."

Rebecca closed her eyes, taking it in, a rush of sympathy surging through her. So they both lost their mothers in two different ways, huh? Opening her eyes again, she reached out, pressing her palm against the mirror surface. “She sounded wonderful if she brought you into this world, Sunshine.”

"She really was,” Lauren rubbed at her tears and reached out, pressing her palm against the mirror as well, right over Rebecca’s. Rebecca ignored the tears streaming down her face. “Her death really affected my family before I met you. It’s been years since I was hugged by my dad or my brothers.”

“Your dad and brothers are dicks.” 

Not giving a hug in years is something they shouldn’t have done. Rebecca didn’t care what excuses they have, they shouldn’t have done that. To her Sunshine. She couldn’t imagine a life without physical affection. Before Jacob vanished, her life was filled with it. She couldn’t remember a moment with her family that wasn’t them at least touching each other in some way. Back then, she needed affection. She’d suffer without it. 

She wished she could go back to the times when she could be hugged from behind and not flip out but she supposed living with her uncle for the past six years just ruined it for her. 

Lauren laughed, snapping her out of her thoughts. Bless that sound. “I know they love me, but I wish they’ll hug me, y’know. It’s hard. I miss her too. I will always miss her.” She paused. “I wish you could have met her. She would've loved you a lot."

“What’s she like?” 

"She was loving, very compassionate, and never hid secrets from me or my brothers unless it was like Santa or the tooth fairy stuff. She was the reason why I’m obsessed with butterflies," Lauren said, smile faltering as she reminisced about her mother. "I miss her.”

Rebecca took a deep breath, rubbing at her eyes with her free hand. How… how sad. It seems at least once of her friends in either country either has a complicated relationship with their families, or a dead parent. Lauren’s family has never shown affection to each other since her mother died and hers… hers has been messed up from the beginning. She’s just been too blind to see it.

 “I’m sure she misses you too. Who wouldn’t? You’re incredible.”

Lauren flushed. "You are more incredible, Rebecca. I’m just a simple witch from El Paso who hasn't really done anything that special in her life at all," she countered.

“Except get me out of my depression,” Rebecca shot back. “You’re also the first person I opened up to about my mother after six years.”

"I could say the same thing about you,” Lauren pointed out. “You are the first person outside of my family that I’ve told about my mom and you are the first friend I've had since I was six." 

There was something unsaid following that, but she couldn’t put a finger on it. Rebecca shook it off. 

“You also convinced me to get help,” She smiled. “Face it, Sunshine. You had a bigger impact on my life than you thought. I guess we both are.”

"Yeah, maybe so,” Lauren said with a grin as she wiped away her tears, “but I will never say I’m more incredible than you are, just so you know.”

“Alright,” Rebecca chuckled, moving her hand away. “I won’t either. How about this? Let’s make a promise.” 

“What kind of promise?” Lauren raised an eyebrow. 

She pressed a hand over her heart. “A promise to never forget what our mothers did for us, how much they love us, and how much we love them.”

Lauren’s face exploded into a warm smile. She placed her own hand over her heart. “It’s a promise.”

Rebecca went to reply, but broke into a wide yawn. She can hear Lauren giggling in the background and made a face. “I better get some sleep. It’s—” she checked the time, “—3AM, and Lucia and Jason will kill me. So—” she turned back around and gave her a smile, “—talk to you soon?”

"Talk to you soon, Dragon girl,” Lauren smiled, her hand covering her mouth. 

Rebecca paused as she went to cut off the connection, then quietly whispered, as though the next words she spoke were sacred, “I love you, Lauren.”

Lauren’s eyes widened briefly, before softening as she replied. "I love you too, Rebecca."

She shut off the connection and set the mirror down with a soft smile, pulling her covers over herself and falling asleep for the first time since this whole night started.