#and reminds me of angus tully

[y-a-w-p]

Headphones aren't enough I need this injected into my blood stream

[spatialwave]

i am LOVING your angus tully content 💕 would you please write an angus tully x reader where the reader meets angus in boston while they’re ice skating and then they get to know each other as they explore the city, sort of ‘before sunrise’ style and hunham gives them the space to do so? if you don’t like this idea though that’s totally okay!! have a lovely day regardless :)

𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫

pairing: angus tully x fem!reader word count: 4k notes: reader is very nervous & dorky! thank u for sending 🤎

the chilly december air stung your cheeks, leaving them reddened and sore, but that didn’t stop you from braving the weather and heading to the public skating rink. your friends had cancelled on you last minute, one of them falling sick with a nasty cold and the other deciding that her boyfriend was more important than a night with you during the festivities that boston had to offer. you couldn't be angry at her, though, you were a hopeless romantic at heart and would do the same if you had a boyfriend. you were happy that your best friend found someone so perfect for her, you dreamed of finding him too—the perfect boy.

though, you usually just giggled in your bed at night when you imagined yourself spending the rest of your life with david cassidy. that was much easier than finding real love.

so, alone you were as you willed your way ahead through the boston streets where your father had dropped you off. you promised yourself you'd start getting out of your nervous shell and what better way to test it than being alone at a skating rink? especially when you were notoriously clumsy and horrendous at skating.

if you could do this, you could do anything.

as you approached the skating rink you felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety flooding you. there were a lot of people, too many people, a lot of friends giggling with each other, children learning how to skate with their parents and partners holding hands as they stared into each other's eyes lovingly. you sorely missed your friends, but you shoved that thought as deeply into your consciousness as you could because you promised yourself you wouldn't wallow in your loneliness.

and you were here, weren’t you? successfully making do without them. all you needed to do was get the skates on and make your way onto the ice—that’s all. getting here was half the battle.

comfort warmed you as you fit yourself into the hand-me-down skates your older sister had given you. you tried so hard not to think about the negatives because even if you slipped and fell, it’s not like anyone here knew you. there was not a single person on the rink that looked even the slightest bit familiar and you thanked god you lived in a busy city.

of course, you were unsuccessful in ridding those thoughts because all you could think about was that there was a likely chance you could embarrass yourself in front of a cute boy. you were too boy-crazy for your own good, your mother blamed david cassidy for it.

as you let out a shaky exhale, you darted your eyes around the exterior of the rink as you shrugged off your bag and held your winter boots in your hand. you had ran into your first problem of the evening; there was no one to watch your belongings.

that’s when you noticed an older man just to the left of you, smoking out of a pipe and watching the rink, smiling to himself. he seemed friendly enough, reminding you a lot of your grandpa. there was no better person to watch your things!

“excuse me sir,” you said to him, smiling as you approached him cautiously, “is it alright if i leave my things here next to you? i’m not skating for long… i just don’t want to take them onto the rink with me.”

the man hadn’t realized you were talking to him at first as he pulled the pipe out of his mouth and looked between you and someone on the skating rink. he smacked his lips together a few times in thought, “okay. sure, i don’t mind.” he mumbled, though you could tell that he minded.

he was grumpier than you pegged him to be.

“thank you so much! i won’t be long!” you smiled, happy that you had some form of success, but again you had to ward off the image in your head of him running off with your things. at least he’d only have stolen a woman’s snow boots and three dollars from your wallet.

as you waddled away, you hadn’t noticed that a boy on the rink had skated up to the older man, you were much too focused on not toppling over. your ankles were already wobbling back and forth as you navigated through the snow, unaware of the set of eyes that lingered on you with each step you took.

“you got this,” you breathed to yourself as you made it to the entrance, taking a long and deep breath that caught in your throat. you froze in your spot, feeling frigid as you watched the tens of people skating along the rink so seemingly expert in their ways.

a woman cleared her throat behind you and you jolted up, looking over your shoulder and seeing a mother and her two children waiting to step into the rink, “sorry!” you squealed as you hurried onto the ice and clung to the railing for dear life.

the sounds of the young kids snickering made your cheeks burn red, so you kept your eyes downward and stared at your mitten-covered hands as they gripped onto the rail. then you focused on your feet, slowly moving them back and forth on the ice as you got used to the feeling of the skates gliding across the frozen surface.

with a triumphant huff, you straightened up and slowly started to skate with your hand keeping balance on the edge, much like a learning child. at least they usually had a helper.

you had focused on this for a bit, getting into the swing of things. you looked around with a content smile, slowly moving and breathing in the crisp air as you focused on the sounds of laughter. the christmas spirit was high and you were happier than ever to be experiencing this alone, you couldn’t wait to go home and gush to your sister about your first solo adventure as a young woman.

satisfaction wasn’t fully met, however. you needed to challenge yourself further before calling it a night.

carefully, you let your hand off of the rail and moved carefully away from the edge. your eyes darted around your immediate surroundings, making sure you had enough of a clearing to start skating without bumping into anyone. a big smile grew on your face, you were by no means quick, but at least you were moving!

you focused your eyes back down on your feet, watching closely as you moved one in front of the other with intention. you were getting the hang of it, muscle memory coming back from when you skated as a kid. with your attention far from the outside world, you didn’t notice a duo of young girls coming right for you—too busy laughing amongst each other to notice you drifting in front of them.

one of the girls bumped hard into your shoulder and yelped out a sincere ‘sorry’ as you lost your balance on your feet. you almost kept yourself upright, but you quickly fell back.

you expected to crash down onto the ice with a hard thump, but two arms caught you, hooking underneath your armpits and hoisting you back upright onto your skates. you didn’t have the means to turn around all that quickly, but the person who saved you seemed to realize that, so he skated in front of you and turned to look at you. he made it seem so easy to skate backward.

“you okay?” he asked, but you hardly heard the words because you were so fascinated with how beautiful he was. he had the biggest brown eyes you’d ever seen and a head full of wild curls that he obviously tried to tame. he was also taller than you, making you feel so small under his gaze, but not threatening in the slightest. all you could do was smile at him like a dork.

your knight in shining armour.

a few moments pass and the realization hit that you had been completely silent, “thank you!” you blurted out, your eyes widening in horror because of how you were staring at him like a goddamned fool, "i'm not very good at this."

"you were doing fine until you got bulldozed over," the boy smiled, unabashedly looking you up and down. he cleared his throat and held out two of his gloved hands, "hang on."

you obeyed with no hesitation, your arms extending so you could take his gloved hands in your own. you felt your mouth go dry and you had to force your hands to stop shaking. you were always so much more anxious around boys.

"oh, god," you groaned in anticipation as he started skating backward, pulling you along and forcing you to focus on keeping balance, "you really don't have to spend your time here teaching me how to skate." you looked up at him, feeling like a burden.

"i know," he replied, grinning at you as he kept pulling you along the ice, his gaze only breaking to make sure he wasn't about to skate back into anyone. those brown eyes fell back on you, watching you with a soft gaze as you kept moving with one foot gliding in front of the other, "i'm angus."

"hi, angus," you smiled, chewing on the inside of your lip after you returned the introduction. you could feel your cheeks blushing. you looked down and at your feet again, but your lack of focus got the best of you, "ah, shit!"

just as you lost your footing and balance, nearly flying forward, angus wrapped an arm around you and laughed aloud, pulling you against him so you couldn't tip over. you could've stayed like that forever, nuzzled against this boy's chest and forgetting about the outside world.

"you're clumsy," he teased, flickering his gaze down at you as he led you both to the railing for a rest.

"you only just noticed?" you retorted playfully as you leaned against the support, letting yourself exhale in relief once you could rest the entirety of your weight against it. shyly, you looked back over to angus after a few beats of silence, "you're not here with anyone else?"

angus scrunched his nose in response, shrugging, "it's a long story."

"i like stories," you mused, not ready to let this end. whatever this was.

a breathy laugh came from him as he glanced away to look at something, you hadn't been able to follow his gaze before he was looking at you again. there was something about him that kept your attention, likely the fact that he genuinely seemed to enjoy your presence. it made you giddy and your stomach swirled with butterflies.

"well, i came here with my history teacher," he said, almost sheepishly. you looked at him with slightly furrowed brows, uncertain where this would be going, "i go to a boarding school out of town, north of here. i, uh, didn't get to spend christmas with my family and so i've been stuck at school with him as my chaperone. guess i'm good at convincing people to take me places," he chuckled, his gaze looking anywhere but at you.

"i don't think i would've guessed that story in a million years," you giggled, a smile reaching your eyes as you looked over angus' face, "sorry about your family, though. must be hard around the holidays."

"it's fine," he quipped quickly, you figured it best to not bring up his family anymore.

you fell silent for a bit, thinning your lips as you looked around and focused on your surroundings to pass the time and try to ignore the awkward silence. you watched a group of kids skating together, playfully shoving each other and laughing when one of them wiped out.

"did you want to skate again?" angus' voice broke the silence and you met his eyes. with a small nod, he smiled and gave you his hands again.

the two of you had spent another twenty minutes on the skating rink, laughing together as he taught you how to keep yourself upright. you were happy to report that you'd only fallen on your ass twice, and even when he laughed at you, you felt your heart soaring.

there must've been some good karma you stored up over the year because you weren't sure why you were blessed to run into angus on a night like this. he was cute, funny and just as awkward as you were.

once you two were tired and ready to hang the skates up, you ventured out of the rink and stood at the exit. you had to catch your breath after laughing over some joke angus had made about his time at barton, something stupid that wouldn't have made you laugh in another other situation. angus was just... nice. funny, but in an endearingly dorky way.

as you bent down to untie your skates, you straightened up with a panicked look on your face. "my stuff!" you said, looking up at angus and then around the exterior of the rink, trying to spot the man you'd left your things with. that's where the bad karma came in, leaving you with nothing.

"are you looking for these?" a third voice spoke, your eyes landing on the pipe-smoking man that angus seemed to recognize. you put the pieces together.

"yes! thank you so much!" you smiled as you took the boots from him and your bag, quickly changing into the shoes that allowed you to stand steady. you sighed softly with a smile and looked between the two men, "i, uh, thank you again, sir, for keeping an eye on my things. and thanks, angus, i'm sure by next winter i'll be an olympic figure skater," you smiled, not quite ready to leave without spending more time with the boy, but you weren't sure you'd have the choice.

as luck would have it, though, his teacher, mr. hunham, seemed to have a soft spot for the boy.

"mr. tully, i'm calling it an evening and will be heading to the hotel room, i'm rather tired this evening," the older man explained. you could see the pleading look on angus's face, "i expect to see you there within a few hours or lest you deal with multiple detentions when we're back at barton," he continued with a satisfied look on his face when angus smile, "keep an eye on him for me." he turned to you, letting out a huffy sigh as he looked between the two of you once more before turning on his heels and leaving.

angus was speechless.

"he seems like a nice man," you said in awe as you watched him, growing nervous for other reasons now.

"trust me. he's usually not," angus replied, his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat as he looked down at you, "you look cold. i think i saw i coffee shop near here. they probably have hot chocolate or something."

"okay," you smiled, forcing yourself not to let your boy-crazy giddiness get the best of you again.

as you two ventured away from the skating rink, you found yourself feeling more comfortable with each passing second and talking about yourself like an open book. you spoke about everything and nothing, his favourite band was pink floyd and he was currently halfway through reading the novel dune. you shared your own love for the partridge family show, though, you kept your lips tight about your obsession with david cassidy.

you made a mental note to rip the poster of david off your wall if something were to ever come out of this night with you and angus, like hell he'd ever be in your room.

"what do you like so much about boston?" you asked angus as you two walked through one of the downtown streets in boston, your mittens shoved in your pocket as your hands cupped around the hot chocolate you sipped on. the heat emanated from the paper cup and warmed your hands. you two had been walking and talking for a while now and your drink was half-empty.

"you like long-winded answers, don't you?" angus said playfully, bumping himself against your side as you walked together. it caused a laugh to bubble up from you, your cheeks turning red at the closeness.

"what's so long about this answer?" you wondered aloud, glancing up at him.

"my dad is here," he said after taking a moment to think over his words, "he's uh, in the sanitorium," he murmured, not quite meeting your gaze, "not doing well mentally."

"you don't have to say anymore," you urged him, regretful that you asked the question in the first place.

"it's fine, i like you. you're not... judging me." angus admitted, flickering his eyes to you and smiling.

oh, god. that smile made your stomach do flips.

"why would i judge you?" you asked rhetorically, "you've been nothing but kind to me tonight. you didn't even know me and you caught me before i fell on my ass, i mean, that's the most any guy has ever done for me... and you bought me hot chocolate!" you were animated in your words as you spoke, not noticing how you lit up angus' facial expressions.

"like i said, it's because i like you." his lips twitched into a smile before he lifted his cup and downed the rest of his drink. you followed in suit, though, mostly to cover the way you had a smile stuck on your face like a lovesick puppy.

you two found an outdoor garbage bin and tossed your empty cups in, standing on a corner of the street that was near the courtyard with the skating rink. it was quiet there now, only then noticing how late it had gotten.

"so, what's your story?" angus interrupted your thoughts as he kept walking, you needing to take a few quick steps to meet his pace as he led you to a bench to sit down on. the perfect spot to watch the christmas lights flicker around the rink and people watch the last remaining people who were skating.

"it's hardly a story," you laughed, fidgeting with your fingers as you looked up to the night sky, the stars hidden because of the city lights, "i'm just crawling my way to graduation so i can get out of my parent's house and go to college," you look over at him, "are you graduating, too?"

he shook his head, "i was expelled a few times," he admitted with an amused look on his face, "should be graduating, but stuck as a junior because of my atrocious behaviour," he teased with a click of his tongue.

"expelled?" you laughed, "wow, i didn't expect such a gentleman like you to be so fond of troublemaking."

that got a laugh out of him, the smile reaching his eyes as he turned ever-so-slightly to better look at you while you two sat together, "yep, i'm the absolute worst. though, i plead my case as i've been wrongly accused of blowing up a toilet once when it was obviously not true."

"uh-huh," you smirked, "are you certain about the wrongly accused part?" you snorted a laugh.

the night was perfect. the two of you sharing so many laughs that your cheeks were hurting and you were beginning to feel like you knew angus for years and this was simply a reunion of friends. you knew at some point it would end, but you didn't want to think about it. not yet, it was too painful of a thought.

your laughter settled and you couldn't break your gaze from angus, the silence looming, but not overwhelming. as you admired him, you caught the way his brown eyes flickered down to your lips and you inhaled sharply, the breath catching.

"i, uh—can i kiss you?" his words were gentle, but they rang through your ears loudly, causing chaos and mayhem that left you feeling like a nervous wreck, "unless i'm reading this wrong."

you parted your lips to speak but nothing came out. all you could do was look down at his lips and nod, hoping that your movements spoke volumes. thankfully, they did.

angus leaned forward, hesitating for a second, but if you could will your way forward to adventuring boston alone, then you could sure as hell will your way forward to meet him halfway. you leaned forward bravely and closed your eyes just as your lips met his, a tingling sensation rolling waves over your skin.

it was a simple kiss, one that made your lips numb when you pulled away and looked up into his eyes. but it wasn’t enough for angus because you were soon pulled into another as his hand lifted and cupped your jaw, keeping you against him as your lips moved together at a gentle, easy pace. he parted your lips with his own, which gave him the space to slip his tongue into your mouth and cause a soft sound to escape your lips. you were fully entranced by him, completely malleable under his touch as you tasted his tongue on your own—sweet like chocolate.

this went on for a few minutes, maybe longer. you two indulging in the kiss you both were anticipating the moment you set eyes on each other.

“this sucks,” you murmured when the kiss finally broke, you two parting to breathe.

“why?” angus furrowed his brows slightly, his hand still on your jaw.

“because i really like you,” you said, pursing your lips into a pout, “and at some point i’m going to have to say goodbye.”

angus shared the sentiment, frowning slightly, “i’ll come to boston again, okay?” he said, just as passionate about you as you were to him, “and if you give me your number i promise to call you.”

you nodded, sighing and watching the way your warm breath fogged up in the cold air. the city was so silent and you’d never been able to experience it quite like this, let alone with a boy you kissed. knowing that it was getting late, though, left you nervous. you had told your parents you wouldn’t be out long and would go to your sister's apartment downtown for a ride back home—leave it up to a boy like angus tully to make it fun to break the rules.

“when do you go back to barton?” you asked him quietly like you didn’t want to hear the answer.

“the day after tomorrow,” angus murmured, his thumb stroking along the skin over your cheek, “i’m gonna’ try visit my dad tomorrow,” he said, “that’s the whole reason i convinced mr. hunham to bring me here, he doesn’t even know.”

you widened your eyes in surprise, “do you think he’ll let you go?”

“probably not, but i’ll find a way.” he said, but not quite fully convinced.

“it’ll work out, angus,” you said, a shiver running up his spine as you said his name, “just like you and me. i’m sure we’ll see each other again.”

he was glad that you managed to see the bright side in all of this, as the night was coming to an end he was beginning to let his negative thoughts pull through. already he could tell that you were going to be a big part of his life, even if it ended up being fleeting and short.

“come on,” angus breathed out, removing his hand from your cheek and standing up. he offered his hand for you to take.

“where are we going?” you asked him, blinking a few times as you took his hand, no mittens or gloves in the way as his fingers interlaced with yours.

“nowhere in particular,” he said, keeping you close as you walked through the quiet boston streets in the early morning hours and spending the last bit of freedom together that you two could muster.

when all was said and done, you found yourself exhausted as you curled up in your bed with the first bit of sunrise spilling through your curtains. it was a bittersweet end to your night with angus, leaving you uncertain about what the future would hold. all you knew was that you’d be waiting for that phone call he promised you.

and taking down your poster of david cassidy.

[anyarose011]

The Most "Wonderful" Time of the Year {Angus Tully x Reader}

Summary: Despite a nice trip to the art gallery and ice skating rink, sometimes, Andy Williams just gets it wrong.

Part 8 of ?? (Masterlist)

Warning(s): Swearing, description of nudity (on art), suggestive conversations, minor sexual harassment, a father has issues, fighting, Reader has a knife, and ANGST.

Heyyy guys (senior year, once again, has been kicking my ass and I also started a new mini-series that should be done soon). Again, I'm so sorry for how long it took me to upload and write this, and I know this chapter is short, but I swear it's got good shit in it. It's also fitting to have more chapters around Christmas time since, you know, this be a Christmas movie (yes, Alexander Payne, this can be a standalone movie, but you set it during Christmas so....) Anywho, I hope you like it (and that it breaks your heart :)

Word Count: 5.5k

You hated to admit it, but you actually like history museums. Even though your father always dragged you to them from childhood to adulthood, you didn’t really mind them. Your father’s additional commentary only added to the experience as you walked through the Greek section. It didn’t really for Angus.

“Are we almost done?” He asked.

“Quit whining.” You reprimanded him.

“I’m not.”

Your father chuckled. “What’s your hurry? I thought you liked Antiquity?”

He sighed. “In class, maybe. But I never think about it unless I need to.”

Humming, your father pointed to a casing of ceramics behind you. “Here, what do you see?”

You and Angus turned. Of course, he said. “A bunch of pottery.”

“Look at that one.” He pointed.

You certainly weren’t expecting to see a man diving his dick into a woman as she bent over to pick something up on an ancient Grecian artifact, but there you were in the Boston Fine Arts Museum, jaw on the floor.

“Amy look, a Candy Cane!” Angus teased.

“I hate you.” Was all that managed to leave your lips.

Your father chuckled, shaking his head. “Children, there’s nothing new in human experience. Each generation thinks it invented debauchery or suffering or rebellion, but man’s every appetite and impulse, from the disgusting to the sublime, is on display right here, all around you.” He gestured around the room filled with art. “So, before you dismiss something as boring or irrelevant, remember that if you truly want to understand the present, or yourself, you must begin in the past. History is not merely the past; it’s an explanation of the present.”

Angus nodded. “See, when you say it that way, and throw in some pornography, it’s a lot easier to understand.”

Mr. Hunham glanced over at you, surprised at your lack of outburst. “You’re not going to comment on that?”

“No,” you shrugged. “porn helping men understanding things checks out.”

Angus snorted, turning back to the teacher. “You should try talking more and yelling less in class. You know, most of the kids pretty much hate you. Teachers, too. You know that, right?”

“Hey.” You glared at him as if to say, ‘Lay off’.

Your father nodded, obviously trying not to show the hurt that was apparent on his face. “Well, I appreciate your frequent candidness, Mr. Tully.”

“Sure…” He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down.

It was then you realized another thing about Angus Tully that reminded you about yourself: You only noticed how horrible your words were as soon as you were done saying them.

The rest of your time at the art museum wasn’t as awkward as that entire scene, thankfully. The sun had completely set by the time you had exited, and the three of you made your way to the park. It almost made you laugh how quick Angus was to the booth to rent ice skates.

“Have you been ice skating before?” He asked as you both sat on the bench, tying up your skates.

“Once when I was eight, I think. You?”

“I played hockey until high school.” He finished tying his and stood. “And I go every chance I get when I’m in the city.”

“So, you should only fall if I push you, right?”

“Right.”

You smiled after double knotting your ice skates and approached the entrance to the rink. “My feet feel weird.”

“Yeah, you haven’t been skating for almost ten years.” He teased, walking past you and standing on the ice with ease.

Sighing, you took a step out and immediately started flailing. Still, the two of you laughed when you retreated back to solid ground. “Nope.”

Angus begged. “Come on.”

“Nuh uh, not going to do it.”

“Your dad paid a good two dollars for us to skate, and you’re going to waste it?” He joked.

“Two dollars doesn’t mean anything to my father if I’m dead!”

“You’re not going to die.”

“But-.”

He said your name with the right amount of sincerity and playfulness. “You can hold onto me. I’ll cushion you if you do fall.”

Grinning from ear to ear, you still held onto the side railing, but stepped out onto the ice. Taking a deep breath, you began walking.

“You don’t want to do that.” Angus skated by your side at your pace.

“I’m alright.” You struggled to say.

He scoffed, holding out his hand. “Yeah, I can tell. Come on.”

You stared down at it as if he had never touched you before. Still, you took it. You expected him to pull you out into the center and leave you there for dead (or try to figure out how to skate on your own), but instead, you stayed by the wall.

“Okay, you’re gonna want to lean forward, and just glide; don’t walk.” He explained, showing you.

“I’ll fall.”

“No, you won’t. Just trust me.”

Against what your nervous system was saying, you decided to. Leaning forward, you tried to copy him; and it worked for like a few seconds before you started tripping over your own feet. He caught you, of course.

“Hey, not bad!” He held you up so you could stand.

“I almost died.”

“You’re standing on your own though!” He backed away, and you still were. “That’s a good start.”

You wanted to fire a nasty retort at him, but you could only girlishly giggle. You don’t know how long you spent on that ice skating rink with him. Yes, there would be times when your feet would ache, or you’d be a mix of sweaty from the physical labor of skating and freezing from the cold, Massachusetts air. Yet, as you finally gathered your footing, you felt as if you could compete in the next Olympics.

You couldn’t, of course, but you sure had the confidence to do so.

And it was fun to laugh and talk with Angus. It always was, but it felt as if you were both on an actual date as you skated together. To everyone else on that ice rink, you were. When Angus had completely fallen onto the ice (you didn’t actually push him down, he fell on his own), pulling you down with him, you’d nearly forgotten that your father was chaperoning you two as you laughed.

After leaving the rink and taking your skates back, you walked up a set of stairs with your father and Angus, discussing where to go for dinner when-.

“Paul Hunham, is that you?!” A man and a woman approached the three of you with a gleeful look. “It’s Hugh. Hugh Cavanaugh.”

Your father’s face fell for just a moment before laughing. “Yes! Yes, of course. Wow, Hugh Cavanaugh. Oh, how are you, Hugh?”

“Oh God, what’s it been? Thirty years?” He turned to the woman beside him. “Oh, uh this is my wife, Karen. Honey, this is Paul Hunham; we went to Harvard together.”

She smiled, shaking his hand, then yours, then Angus’. “Hello.”

“Yes,” your dad nodded at Hugh’s comment. “yes we did. Uh, wow; what have you been up to, Hugh? Still in the area?”

“Oh, uh, yes-yes I’m still in Boston. Cambridge.”

“Harvard.” Karen said proudly. “He just got tenure, statistics. He won’t blow his own horn, I have to blow it for him.”

“Okay,” Hugh said to change the subject. “what about you, Paul?”

“Oh, still teaching, we have that in common.” He nodded. “History, ancient history.”

“That’s great, that’s great. Where?”

“Abroad mostly.” Your father lied through his teeth on each word. “On fellowships. Privately funded fellowships. Universities and private academies. Mostly fellowships, you know. I’m currently posted in Antwerp. Just back here for the holidays.”

“So, are these your kids?” He pointed to you and Angus.

“Well-.”

“-I’m his nephew, Laurie.” Angus cut in, then looked at you. “This is my cousin, Amy.”

Karen smiled. “It’s nice to meet you both.”

Hugh squinted his eyes as if to see you more clearly. Then, he chuckled. “Paul, do you know who she looks like?”

Your father hummed. “I would hope me.”

It was weird to hear your mother’s full name come out of a stranger’s mouth. He went on. “Do you see it? Same nose, same hair; you are the spitting image of beauty, young lady.”

Snickering, you didn’t even think of thanking him. “I’ve been told I have more of her temper than her looks. Although, our mouths are the same.”

“I have no doubt.” He laughed. “Paul, do you remember that one time freshman year?”

“Oh yes!” Your father pretended to. “When she-it was that one time during Roman history when Nolan-.”

“-Wouldn’t call on her when she was the only one to raise her hand,” Hugh looked back at you as if you didn’t know the story from the set up. “so she fed all the boys in the room the wrong answers for the rest of the class!”

“Yep,” Mr. Hunham nodded. “even I fell victim to it.”

Hugh was the only one who had relatively been amused by the fable. “Never put you and her together.”

“A lot of people didn’t.”

The group fell into a strange silence after that. Thank God for Angus Tully.

“He’s writing a book now.” He titled his head toward your father. “Tell them about your book, Uncle Paul.”

“My book.” Your father snickered, then immediately played it off. “It’s not a book, really. Just a monograph. Nothing special.”

You decided to jump in. “Don’t be so modest, dad. It’s about, uh, cameras, right? Ancient cameras?”

Hugh hummed, a quizzical look on his face.

“What she means, of course, is the camera obscura.” Your father explained. “You know, the optical and astronomical tool that dates back to, um, the time of Anaxagoras.

“Tell him the title, Uncle Paul.” Angus went back, and you masked your smile for one of curiosity and not at the misfortune of your father.

“He’s not interested, Laurie.”

Hugh smiled. “Sure, I am.”

Sighing, Paul Hunham said with the perfect amount of enthusiasm and disinterest. “Lights and Magic in the Ancient World.”

Hugh nodded before turning back to his wife, and then to your father, clasping his hand on his shoulder. “Well, Paul, I’m so glad you landed on your feet. You look swell.”

“You too. So, swell.”

“I’m sorry about your mother, Amy.” He said to you.

Thinning your lips in a tight smile, you said. “Thanks.”

Him and Karen walked away hand in hand, but he turned over his shoulder. “And we’ll keep an eye out for your book, Paul. Won’t we, honey?”

 She nodded. Of course. Merry Christmas, Paul. Bye, Laurie and Amy.”

You all wished them ‘Merry Christmas’ as you three also left. Angus wasted no time turning to you.

“What the fuck just happened?!”

“You’re asking me?!” You matched him. “You sprung into ‘Tell them about your book, Uncle Paul!’, ‘What’s the title, Uncle Paul?’.”

“I had to think of something!”

Your father sighed. “I appreciated your efforts, but I would’ve been fine on my own.”

Rolling your eyes, you asked. “Can we get dinner now?”

“I need to pick something up from the liquor store first.”

Sighing overdramatically, you and Angus stumbled behind your father. That was when you looked at the boy beside you. “Also, Laurie and Amy? Really?”

“What? They’re like brother and sister. If I said you were Jo, then that would’ve been weird.”

Oh my god, he wasn’t even halfway through the book.

You wish you had a camera solely to capture the look on your father’s face as he turned over and stared at both of you. You wonder if that was when he found out about you and Angus.

Shaking your head, you didn’t know whether to laugh or scoff as you said. “Unbelievable.”

“What do you mean ‘unbelievable’?” Angus questioned. “Jo and Laurie get married in the end, right?”

“Unbelievable.” You repeated but smiled this time.

“Right?!”

Your father sighed as you finally made it to the store. “Look, the fact of the matter is, what happened, happened, and we should just pretend it didn’t.”

Angus furrowed his brow as you all walked in. “I thought Barton men don’t lie. Don’t get me wrong, that was fun, but you just lied through your teeth.”

He held up his hand, not having it. “What I say during a private conversation is none of your goddamn business. You’re not to judge me.”

“It wasn’t a private conversation; your daughter and I were there. Besides, he brought her into it.”

“I’m right here.” You announced yourself.

“Why’d he ask if you landed on your feet?”

Your father glanced up from searching through the shelves. “What is this, Nuremberg?”

“You’re the hardass constantly telling everybody not to lie and going on about the honor code!”

Looking up at both of you, Paul Hunham sighed. “There was an incident at Harvard with my roommate.”

You gave him a look. “I’ve never heard this story before.”

“He accused me of copying from his senior thesis. Plagiarizing.”

“Well, did you?” Angus asked.

“No! He stole from me.” Your father relented. “But that blue-blooded prick’s family had allies on the faculty. I mean, their last name is on a library, so he accused me in order to sanitize his treachery. And they threw me out.”

“Holy shit,” you breathed. “you got kicked out for cheating?”

“No, I got kicked out of Harvard for hitting him.”

Angus asked. “You hit him? Like punched him out?”

“No, I hit him with a car.”

“You got kicked out of Harvard for hitting a guy with a car?!”

“By accident,” he approached the counter, talking to the cashier. “Pint of Jim Beam, please.”

You piped up, still in astonishment. “Mom said you left because your grandma was dying.”

“She was, it was just perfect timing to go and help take care of her.” He shrugged. “But my roommate broke three ribs. Which was technically his fault, because he shouldn’t have been in the road.

“Two dollars, please.” The cashier said.

Your father took his wallet out, continuing his story. “Also, he shat himself; which was the greatest indignity.”

The cashier handed him the wrapped-up bottle. “Here you go, killer.”

You couldn’t help your laughter at the sudden statement. As the three of you left and walked down the darkened, cold roads, Angus said.

“So, Mr. Hunham never even graduated college? Holy shit, you didn’t even finish up somewhere else? Who else knows?”

“Did mom even know about you hitting the guy?” You asked.

Your father nodded. “Of course she knew! She gave me an earful on the phone the first time she called me after I left. It was only Dr. Greene who knew it after that. He’d always believed in me, so he gave me a job. Adjunct faculty: zero respect and even less pay, so nobody batted an eye, and I’ve been at the school ever since.”

“Are you ashamed at how things turned out?” Angus questioned.

“Not at all. I’m proud of my work, I love history, I married the smartest and kindest woman on the planet, I helped raise a spitfire of a girl, I love Barton. Barton is my life now. I don’t know what I’d do without it.”

“Then why did you lie to that guy?”

“Because I knew he’d relish the fact that I’m a washout and never left my own high school. And he’d probably repeat that story to everybody we used to know. So, I figured he’s not entitled to my story. I am. “

Angus nodded. “Yeah. Fuck that guy.”

“Exactly. Fuck that guy!”

“Fuck him, I hope his car slides on black ice and crashes into a lamp post.” You chimed in.

“Woah,” Angus gasped.

Your father said your name scoldingly.

“What?” You scoffed. “It was weird as hell when he talked to me about my mom like he knew me.”

“I’ll admit it was strange and unnecessary.” Your father tossed his arm around your shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

He looked at both you and Angus. “But you’ll keep this quiet, right? No one is to know.”

“Entre nous, sir.” Angus nodded. “Entre nous.”

Your father nodded then chuckled, poking you. “‘Ancient cameras’. Where’d the hell you come up with that?”

“I tried my best!” You whined. After the men ceased in their laughter, you then said. “Can we please get dinner now?”

“Alright, alright.” Your father snorted. “Where would you like to go for your absolutely atrocious food concoction?”

“South Street.”

“I figured.”

And that is where the three of you went. It shouldn’t have surprised you it was packed the day after Christmas, which was also a Saturday. It had to have been a miracle you managed to get in line only when it was starting to go out the door; a few minutes after you arrived, the line had started to curve around to the nearest streetlight.

The diner was filled with life once you got in; families pushing tables together, friends absolutely drunk off their asses laughing, even half of the staff seemed to be enjoying the sheer joy from others. Of course, a few were understandably stressed and annoyed from the number of customers and their behavior.

The three of you were soon sitting at a booth. When Angus sat close to the window, instead of sliding into the seat across from him, you took the one beside him. Leaving your father alone on the other side. To ordinary people, it perhaps didn’t mean anything; but you still felt as if it was a signal.

“I can’t believe they’re still playing Christmas music.” Your father grumbled as The Ronettes sang about a sleigh ride and he slipped off his jacket.

You giggled, copying him. “It was just yesterday.”

“I know, but still.”

“I like this song, thank you very much.”

He held up his menu as if to hide his disgust. You and the boy beside you chucked as Angus said. “I feel like I’ve been here before.”

“You don’t know if you have?” You asked.

“It feels familiar. Maybe when I was a kid?”

“We’d always come here when we’d visit Boston.” You looked at your father. “The owner gave me a free banana split when I turned twelve, he knew us so well, right?”

That managed to pull a laugh out of him. “That he did. If he’s here tonight maybe you could get a free dinner for us.”

You and Angus looked down at the menu before you, and soon enough, an exhausted waitress came by to take your drink orders and lay down silverware. Immediately, you asked for French fries and your favorite milkshake.

“There’s no way that’s going to be good.” Angus pointed out.

“Oh, ye of little faith.” You scoffed.

“That’s not faith, that’s fact.”

“What you’re speaking of is an opinion, not even a theory. If you ever want to make it in this world, I suggest you learn the different between those two before you can even begin to comprehend what an actual fact is.”

“And what is an actual fact?”

“You’re an idiot.”

He smirked despite the fact you insulted him. You also couldn’t hide your own smile. It was apparent from anyone in that room, it was not a smile of victory; it was one synonymous with the feeling inside of your chest as it felt like your own heart would burst forth like light.

Your father had felt this feeling before, so it was not lost on him.

“You seem awfully happy to have your entire statement dismantled, Mr. Tully.” He said to Angus.

The boy looked up, still with a smile but one not as euphoric. “I mean, I wasn’t that serious about it.”

“Oh, and I didn’t think you were. It just astounds me how close you two became in a matter of a few days.” He said. “Wasn’t it only yesterday you both were at each other’s throats?”

You stepped in. “No, that was the first few days, actually. I mean, we were the only kids at Barton after that, so it’s probably best we figured how to deal with each other. I guess we both liked some of the same things too, so that made it easier.”

“Yeah.” Angus nodded.

Your father straightened his gaze between the two of you, but then smiled, getting up from the booth. “I have to use the facilities; don’t go anywhere.”

“No papa,” you teased. “we’re going to go do a line of cocaine with the homeless man a few blocks away.”

“You know, I’m beginning to believe that you’re the bad influence on Mr. Tully and not the other way around.”

With that, he left the two of you by yourselves as he walked to the back of the diner. Once he was gone, you and Angus cackled to yourselves.

“Do you think he knows?” You asked, a hint of concern mixed in with delight.

“I don’t know, probably.” He shrugged, still chuckling. “Is that so bad?”

“I mean…I’ve never had a boyfriend before.” You admitted, smiling shyly.

Even though the rest of the diner was booming with Christmas music and leftover excitement from the holidays, it all fell silent between you two. The boy who was once radiated in the happiness you shared with him, now covered in a shroud of terror.

Well…in reality, he was alarmed, not terrified; yet, that is all you saw.

“Shit I-!” You realized what you had just said. “I didn’t mean-I mean, we don’t have to be together, I just meant that I’ve never had someone like me back when I’ve liked them, and even then, it didn’t happen very often-.”

“-Hey, hey.” He stopped you. “No, I’ve never had that happen either. I mean, I’ve been to all boys’ schools since I was fourteen. I think…yeah, I think I’d like to give it a try.”

“Really?” You felt the weight from your shoulders loosen as your face brightened.

He nodded, glowing with you. “Really.”

You glanced up at the bathroom door, and when there was no sight of your father, you took his face into your hands, pulling him into a kiss. It wasn’t as intense as your previous ones, but not as quick as the one you gave him outside the bookstore.

He pulled away first, and before you could say anything about it, you saw the waitress leave from the corner of your eye. She had brought the drinks, including your milkshake and fries. Turning back towards the table, you immediately picked up a fry and dipped it into the milkshake.

“Oh my god, you weren’t joking.” Angus said with no emotion behind it.

“I know I’m funny, but this I would not joke about.” You talked as you ate. “Try it.”

“No.”

“I’ll kiss you if you do.” You took another fry.

“You’ll kiss me anyway.”

“I’ll kiss you like how the French do.”

“You already do that.”

 “I’ll do something different.”

His eyes grew, and he huffed out a surprised laugh. “‘Something different’?”

“Yeah.” You dipped a third fry. “I don’t know what, but I’ll do it.”

 “Not that you have to, but fine I’ll try it.” Angus reached for a fry, then dipped it into your milkshake and ate it.

Angus’ face went through more arrays of emotions in a short time since you met him. You grinned from ear to ear. “Well?”

“Fuck off.” He tried to hide his smile as he took another fry.

“I’m sorry, what?” You taunted.

“It’s not the best-.”

“-I’m sorry, what?!” You repeated louder, and you both were talking over each other. “It sounds like-!”

“You don’t have to be so-!”

“It sounds like you actually like it!”

“You’re so loud.”

You finished with laughter, and then kissed his cheek. You returned to your milkshake and fries as Angus talked about something funny that happened back in the fall. You can’t remember what he said to this day, because a familiar voice entered your ears as it entered the diner.

Angus kept talking to you, but it was in one ear and out the other as you tried your best not to show your discomfort at the man who laughed a little louder than the rest of the people in the diner. When you thought Angus wasn’t paying attention, you glanced over your shoulder at the entrance.

There he stood; a man around the same age as your father with a woman perhaps ten or fifteen years younger than him, holding a baby on her hip, and clutching her seven-year-old daughter’s hand.

Despite what Andy Williams was singing from the jukebox, this was not the most wonderful time of the year.

Angus tapped your shoulder, and you drew your eyes away to look at him.

“Hey, I hate this song, I’m gonna go change it.” He said. You got out of the booth for him to stand, and once he did you sat back down. Only for him to then say. “Okay, scoot over.”

You frowned. “What?”

“Scoot over.”

“You didn’t even change the song.”

“I changed my mind, it’s not that bad.”

He was bullshitting you, but you scooted over anyway, and he sat beside you. “What’s going on?”

You scoffed. “You’re the one that got up and sat down again.”

“Is that guy Daniel?”

“Angus-.”

“-Tell me.”

“Is he bothering you?”

Both you and Angus looked and saw the man from the entrance stand before you with his hands in his pockets. You dropped your gaze.

“No, he’s not.”

You had no idea what you hated more that night: hearing a man you never met say your mother’s name, or hearing a man you knew too well say yours.

“If he is, just say the word and-.”

“-He’s not bothering me.” You hissed.

Angus slipped his hand into yours as you kept your eyes down, but he kept his trained on the man standing in front of him.

He sighed, shaking his head. “Look, I just didn’t expect you to actually show up.”

You didn’t say anything, so Angus did.

“Could you go? She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He ignored him, still angling on you. “Look, sweetie, you don’t have to, and I get it if you don’t want to, but I’d really like it if you came and meet them. They’re all right here now; Carol, Maria, and Frankie. He just turned one last week-.”

“-Can you just fuck off?” You finally looked at him.

He tilted his head and raised his brows before looking at Angus. “Young man, could you give her and I some privacy-?”

“-No.”

The man looked at you, scoffing. “Jesus Christ, what’d you do to make him so fucking head over heels for you? Was that the issue just now between you two? Under the table action?”

Angus stood. “Fuck you, what’s your problem?”

You pulled on his sleeve, hissing his name and kneeling on top of your seat to try and get him to sit back down. The man continued to taunt him.

“My problem is that you don’t know what’s going on boy, and you’re being a little prick about all of this.”

“Get the fuck out of here or I’ll…”

“‘You’ll-you’ll what?’” He looked over at you. “I can’t tell if you picked the bravest or the stupidest kid to fool around with, Eurydice.”

You were always a strange child growing up. Perhaps it was that there are times in your life you picture music whenever a certain emotion arose within you.

As you heard him say that name, a name that you heard last when your mother was dying in her bed, a name that was only for her to use and her alone…You heard Danse Macabre by Camille Saint-Saëns.

You don’t even remember grabbing the stupid butter knife from your silverware, just raising it up above you and believing it would cause any harm. As Angus held you back, the man reached over you to grab your hair.

Chaos ensued for a moment in the diner as you cried out when he pulled the ribbon out of your hair, and both him and Angus engaged in a battle of expletives. Most of the diners held back and watched in shock, while only two of them came up. A man stood between him and Angus, and the wife of the yelling man pulled him away.

“Daniel, what the hell is going on?!” She hissed.

“Yes, Daniel,” all eyes fell onto Paul Hunham, who was behind Daniel. “what is the meaning of this?”

You shrunk back in the booth, Angus hugging you tightly against him as if to hide you from Daniel. Both of you stared at the scene before you.

“Paul…” Daniel nodded, standing taller and holding his wife’s hand.

Mr. Hunham nodded back. “Your Christmas went well I take it?”

“It was fine; yours?”

“Just peachy.” He gave a tight smile, looking around at everyone else. “Family matters everyone, I sincerely apologize.”

Hesitantly, the crowd went back to their own business; or they were at least good at pretending to as they eavesdropped. Mr. Hunham continued.

“Why’re you here exactly?”

“The same as you.” Daniel explained. “Dinner with my family.”

He hummed. “And you thought it wise to inform the child in the scenario but not me?”

“Now wait a minute-.”

“-I assume your wife also didn’t know about this or the letters and money you sent?”

At the mention of her, Daniel’s wife scowled. “Danny, what’s he talking about?”

He shook his head. “Hunham, you should just mind your own-.”

“-Well now you see, I can’t do that, because her mother trusted me to provide and care for her.”

It was only then did Angus Tully understand what exactly had been going on. As the adults fought, he looked down at you in his arms. It was as if it were the first time he had seen you, and it was the first time he noticed that he could not find a trace of Mr. Hunham.

The eyes he thought you had gotten from your mother stared up at him with dread, and when Angus looked back at the man seething with unspoken rage, he saw them there too.

“Look,” Paul sighed. “I don’t want to cause another scene, so let us handle this like men. You will not make contact with her again, and we can walk away.”

He took a heaving breath before responding. “Fine by me. Come on, Carrie.”

Daniel began to lead her away from your booth, but Paul stopped them. “I believe you have something of my daughter’s.”

His eyes trailed down to the ribbon in his hand. He let go of his wife to walk back to Paul who held his hand out. Instead of giving it to him, he turned to Angus, smiling. He handed it to him.

“Keep her on a short leash, boy. She’s got her mother’s mouth.”

With that, he and his wife and children left the South Street Diner. You only pulled away from Angus when he did from you. No tears had fallen onto your cheeks, but that didn’t mean they weren’t stinging your eyes as you tried to keep them at bay.

You took the ribbon from Angus only for it to hang loosely at your side. Paul softened his gaze as he began to put on his jacket.

“I think we should just settle on room service tonight.” He said gently. “I can get them to bag up the fries and let you take the milkshake glass?”

You could only nod, not wanting to look at either of the men with you. You all put on your coats in silence, and Angus, though not hugging you, hovered as Mr. Hunham spoke with the staff; both about not wanting to report the incident, and also on paying extra for you to take the glass.

It was so cold out, and everyone was so tired from not just the events of the night, but the entire day, that Paul splurged on a cab for the three of you back to the hotel.

Angus also didn’t feel shame in trying to hold you hand in front of your father; or…stepfather. You limply held his hand back, but you leaned against him as you sat in the cab, staring at the Boston Christmas lights as the city passed by you.

When the cab made it to the hotel, you led the way in a tired haze to the elevators. It wasn’t just the three of you in the elevator; there was a somewhat large family that piled in, all merry and jolly and reeking of chlorine from the pool they had just swum in.

It was as if God himself was rubbing salt into the wounds, tempting you to lick them.

When you made it onto your floor, you also led the way back to your connecting rooms. There was no ‘Goodnight’ or ‘Can we stay up just a little longer?’ to your companions; you simply opened your door and shut it in their faces.

Setting the milkshake down, you tossed off your jacket and pulled your shoes off. Collapsing on the bed, you looked down at the ribbon still in your hand…and you cried.

[ursuburbanmother]

I’m On Fire, But I’m Trying Not to Show It || Chapter Five

Pairing: Angus Tully x fem!reader

a/n: Omg… I survived finals and all those unit exams. So here is chapter five after a long wait lol. It’s also a longish chapter because you guys are nice and deserve it.

Word Count: ~6.2k

Find: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Enjoy!

Day Eight - Christmas Day, 1970

Angus had retreated to the auditorium once again. He supposed he did so because it reminded him of simpler times. Like when he was nine and his biggest worry was if he would mess up on the sonata he was playing in front of his piano teacher. All because he could feel you in the other room, waiting for him to be done.

He was playing aimlessly and with no particular tune in mind. He just let his fingers glide wherever he felt like. It felt different to be there during the daylight, almost illegal. When he heard the creak of the auditorium doors, he had thought he had been caught. But it was just you, carrying that lavender plant you seemed to be so fond of. You held your potted plant close to your chest and walked up to the stage. He stopped playing to watch you and smiled a little at the sight.

“I kept my promise,” you show off the plant you had improvised decorations with. Little ribbons used for your hair are used as tinsel. There are small pieces of balled up color paper with a paperclip through them that work as ornaments. He could tell you tried not to be overzealous, trying to keep the plant from collapsing from the weight. You place the lavender on the piano and take a seat next to him.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” he says back.

You sigh, “Weird party.”

“Yeah. Very weird.”

“I hope Marys alright.”

“Me too,” he sniffs.

He sees you pause to fix your hair. It sits unruly on you, and he can tell you just rolled out of bed. You still look beautiful.

“Um. You never answered my question. Last night…”

He stiffens, “Oh well. You didn’t either.”

You pressed your lips together, “So did you?”

“Did I what?”

You roll your eyes, “Did you feel, I don't know… Did you care? About Joseph?”

Now it's his turn to roll his eyes, “I don’t care about Joseph.”

“Okay. Fine. Then did you care about seeing me with him.”

Angus swallows thickly. He tries to find that sudden rush he felt during the party. The rush that had him so close to just reaching out to hold your cheeks in his hands and collide your lips into his.

He finds the rush in the way you squeeze his hand, encouraging him to continue.

“Yeah, I was jealous,” he prays you won't rip your hand away from his. “Because I care about everything you do.”

You smile and almost look pleased. “I was… a bit too,” you admit, avoiding the word and tugging at the sleeves of your sweater.

Because you think of me that way too, because you think of me that way too, Angus chants in his head like a mantra.

“Because we’re friends?” You cross your arms and hug yourself tightly, gazing up at him through your lashes.

He thinks now that the rush must have been beaten into silence because his mouth stays close, unable to argue back.

“Yeah. ‘Cause we’re friends,” he nods affirmatively, although he has to pinch the side of his thigh to stop himself from crying. He drowns out the ache in his chest and turns into a physical manifestation. There are glass marbles running wild in his head, and they crash against it like a steel floor. They shatter into little bits and prick his mind, berating him for being so stupid, for falling into Elises false optimism, and believing for a second that anything he ever felt would be reciprocated.

A small sigh slips past your lips and Angus suspects it must have been out of relief. He pinches himself harder.

“It all felt like deja vu don’t you think?”

“Hmm?” An odd sound emerges from his throat.

“You and me, begging one another to not be replaced. We’re still the same as when we were fourteen.”

Still the same as we were. The words echoed around, bouncing off the walls of Barton. He can settle with being friends for the rest of his life, as long as it meant he kept having you. If he had to watch you be with someone else, he would suck it up. Like sinking his teeth into a slice of lime without wincing.

He would be fine with you treating him like a wildflower in your garden. He would come around each year, and grow over your tulips, competing for your attention. Practically shouting at you to deal with him. He could wither but come back year-round when you needed him the most. You could harvest him, prune him, press his petals against pages.

The point is you would need him as much as he needs you. …

Paul Huham woke up sick, but not in the way he had expected. He had expected a grinding headache and incredible vertigo. And after five glasses of Jim Beams, he also expected to slip on the ice of the sidewalk as he led Mary to the Nova last night. But he supposed that by now he must have built some sort of tolerance towards it.

Instead, this morning he felt void. He was completely depleted and unable to take his mind off what Miss Crane had said to him at the Christmas party. Mary’s words had definitely brought him back to earth. And although the night had ended… oddly, he still realized that what the two women had said was right.

Angus and Y/n were just kids. Nearly adults in terms of age sure, but still immature and sharing the behavior of one, nonetheless. Miss L/n undoubtedly seemed to deserve a proper celebration. It would be as a thank you of sorts for her ability to rein Mr. Tully in. And Angus Tully needed a moment of distraction from the treacheries of the holiday season. Paul could certainly relate to that.

So, with a groan, he got out of bed. He walked quickly to the bathroom to get his feet off the cold floor and get changed. Afterwards, he went to check in on them in their room.

He saw Y/n buried underneath two blankets. He could barely see her face and it was almost like she was entangled in her own cocoon. Angus however, laid crookedly and clutching a pillow close to his chest, his blanket discarded to the side. There were open drawers, littered pieces of trash on the floor and clothes on the ground. He really ought to remind you both to clean your room.

But confirming you two were asleep, Paul was able to begin the laborious process of getting the ice off his windshield. He then drives into town with the stereo off. He had heard enough Christmas music yesterday and didn’t feel like having jingle-bells grilled into his ear. He slows down as he nears the tree farm. It is empty compared to how it had been mid-November. Vividly he had remembered seeing the town families gathering around and choosing their tree. Kids roamed around as parents debated which trunk smelled the freshest. With the same level of enthusiasm those mothers and fathers had, we trudged up to the nearest worker.

“Merry Christmas,” he smiles awkwardly.

“Merry Christmas. What can I do for you, chief?”

“I’m looking for a tree.”

“Well, you came to the right place. Big fire sale on all remaining inventory.”

Paul hums and tries to find the least scrawny looking pine tree in the lot. He ends up purchasing

one that isn’t nearly as grand as the one Barton had in the dining hall. He then straps it to the top of his car's roof and drives back to the school.

“Mr. Tully, Ms. L/n,” he greets slightly energized by the morning air. He stops abruptly at the sight of the empty beds. There is still a visible dent from where the two had slept. Puzzled, he whirls around the room like they may appear out of thin air. He checks the other vacant rooms shouting out their names.

He stumbles his way into the kitchen where Mary is still in her pajamas, a piece of toast in one hand and a spatula in the other.

“Good morning.”

“Merry Christmas,” she corrects.

“Yeah. Merry Christmas, of course,” he lowers his voice, “How are you?”

“Well, I've got a case of the cocktail flu.”

“Uh, have you seen the kids?” he says with a bit of worry.

“Mm-mm,” she shakes her head and returns her attention to grilling the bacon.

Paul drops his head, “Goddammit, where the hell can they be?”

Hunham takes the search outside, yelling out to the campus quad that has been covered in white. He trudges to the school's theater wing, where he scampers up the stairs.

“Mr. Tully? Ms. L/n?” he pants as he reaches another floor level. He stops momentarily to listen to the music coming from the auditorium and follows the sounds. He had no idea they could do that.

He makes his presence known by slamming the door behind him shut. The piano stops and you both whirl around.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” the two say in unison.

“Where the hell have you two been?”

“I don’t know. Just here,” Angus says.

“Come on. I have something to show you both.” …

You hold Angus' hand as you make your way back to the dining hall. His hands feel clammy. A little shaky too. Although yours weren’t any different. You felt like a ghost floating outside your own body.

When you had asked him the question, you had huddled into yourself. It was the closest thing to holding a shield over your heart. In your head you had thought that if you could just reach out and place your hand against his chest, then you wouldn’t have to ask anything at all. You would just be able to tell by the rhythm of his own thumping heart. You had prayed that he would argue against you. That he would say, ‘No. Not just because we’re friends.” But he hadn’t and now you know never to trust the words of a random man at a party.

But if you were reduced to that status for eternity, you supposed you would be able endure it. Truth was that you felt you felt greedy in ever wishing more from him. He could have brushed you off, labeled you as a snob and never have jumped into the ice-cold pool when you were seven. Yet, he hadn’t and to that you owed him.

Because you think that if he had never spoken to you, you would have spent your entire life watching things from a distance.

When you arrived at the mess hall, Mr. Hunham asked you two to wait before bringing out an irked Mary. She took a seat nearby as Hunham presented you with the bare tree and a few wrapped gifts underneath.

“No ornaments?” Angus frowns, unimpressed.

“Ornaments would diminish the Charlie Brown-esque of it,” you say. “All we really need is one giant red sphere.”

“Oh, I’m sure we can round up some ornaments somewhere,” Mr. Hunham pipes in and picks up one of the gifts, “Uh now… this is for you two.”

He hands you and Angus a rectangular package with a neat bow tied to keep it closed. You’re too surprised to open it but do so after you see Angus shift beside you.

Underneath your fingertips you hold, what you always believed, to be the holy grail of gifts. A book!

“Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. For my money, it’s like the Bible, the Koran and the Bhagavad Gita all rolled up into one. And the best part is not one mention of God!”

“Hmm,” Mary grunts in disapproval.

“Okay. Thanks,” Angus nods.

“Thank you, Mr. Hunham. This is really, really, nice,” you rush to hug him, forgetting you’re supposed to be treating the man like a superior. He doesn’t push you away though, he awkwardly pats your back instead, his other arm hanging out weirdly.

He clears his throat, “Well… I know how much of a voracious reader you are. It’s a rarity that must be preserved.”

“Thank you. I love it,” you hold the book close. You sway a little like you would when you are holding a baby.

“And this is for you,” Hunham returns to passing out the presents.

Mary eyes him suspiciously and unwraps it with ease. It’s another copy of “Meditations.”

“So you just give this to everybody?” She chides.

“And,” Mr. Hunham holds out a bottle of whiskey, smiling.

Mary grins back, “Aw. How did you guess?”

“How indeed,” he laughs. He holds up his finger momentarily, signaling you two to wait. “Also, this came in the mail for you,” Hunham hands Angus an envelope. You watch as he sits down and opens it quickly. The green card is shiny and stuffed with cash. Inside is one of those pre-written messages concocted by marketing companies. The only sign of a personal touch is the scribbled note that reads, ‘Love, Mom and Stanley.’

“Oh, that's nice,” you shrug shyly when Angus turns to gauge your reaction.

“Mary, may I help you with breakfast?” Hunham interrupts the sulking.

She nods, “Yes. Please. Angus, Y/n, clear the table.”

“Okay,” you pick up your abandoned lavender and place it next to the much taller pine. “Look, it's us.”

You snicker quietly, pleased at your own joke. Angus continues to stare down at the table.

You sigh and approach him, “Angus. Are we okay?”

His eyes snap to yours, “Yeah. Of course. It just…”

“It's just what?”

“I-, I didn’t get you anything.”

You exhale shakily. For a second you’d thought you had screwed everything up and he was ready to ignore you and forget of your existence.

You lean over and squeeze his hand, “It's okay. Your presence is worth more than a thousand jewels.”

“Cheesy,” he snorts. The first genuine reaction you'd gotten out of him all day.

“Thank you!” You squeak and tug at a loose piece of his curls. …

It's a group effort to get dinner on the table before midnight. Angus begrudgingly agrees to help you with the vegetables while Hunham and Mary handle the more serious stuff. You are still not to be trusted with anything besides a peeler.

You're scraping the final bits off your plate as Angus wipes his mouth with his napkin.

“Thank you, Mary. That was just lovely,” Hunham gleams.

“Wow, is that an actual compliment?”

“Oh, come on,” Hunham waves off.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever had a real family Christmas like this before,” Angus recalls, “Christmas dinner, I mean- family style. Out of the oven, all the trimmings. We always leached off of Y/n’s family.”

“Yeah. From Delmonico’s. Fresh from their stoves to ours,” you scoff at the memories of you tipping the delivery driver through the kitchen window so they could remain unseen by guests.

“Well, she’s got the right idea. Next year I’m ordering in from Delmonico’s,” Mary teases.

“Anyway. Thank you, Mary,” Angus says seriously.

“You’re welcome.” She winks at him and smiles.

Mr. Hunham raises his mug, encouraging you all to follow suit.

“I’d like to propose a toast. To my three unlikely companions on this snowy island. And to our absent friends and family,” the glass wavers in your hand, “And I realize that none of us are here because he wants to be, so if there’s any way that I can make the holidays a little cheerier for any of you, just say the word.”

You perk up immediately, hands slamming down on the table and almost shaking your fork off the table, “We want to go to Boston.”

“Boston. Why?” Hunham stares appalled.

Angus catches on and nods his head enthusiastically, “Why not? We want a real Christmas. We want to go ice skating. And I want to see a real Christmas tree with ornaments, not that stupid thing.”

“You said it was nice,” Mr. Hunham says, offended.

“It is nice,” Mary reassures.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here. We want a real holiday,” Angus slithers his hand into yours.

“Well, we’re not going to Boston. It’s out of the question.”

“There's plenty of intellectual-like things there too! We could go to museums or visit statues. Or even go inside Paul Revere's house! Did you know they had that there?”

“Come on Paul, you just told them ‘anything.’ So, take the kids to Boston,” Mary vouches.

“Mary, we’re not allowed to leave campus or the immediate environs,” he insists.

Angus' arm flops down and the grip he had on your hand is loosened. You’re about ready to beg the history teacher to reconsider, and that you’ll stay behind and keep clean every inch of Barton as long as he agrees to take Angus. He must have noticed the flame he blew out from your metaphorical birthday candles as he drops his shoulders.

“But I suppose we could call it a field trip. A field trip would fall under the ambit of additional academic pursuits. There’s even a fund set aside for additional academic pursuits,” he mutters like it's a secret.

“I’ll go pack,” Angus rises, a grin on his lips as he sprints off to the infirmary.

You get up and move behind Mr. Hunham to hug his shoulders and then run to Mary to give her an equal tight squeeze.

She pats your arms, and says, “Alright now. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is to me! I mean I’ve-, I have always gotten chocolates for Christmas. Pass the age of twelve anyway. But my mom orders them from Stockholm and they’re great, they’re delicious, but even though I ask for a two-dollar book… I always get these ridiculously expensive chocolates. Yet tonight, I didn’t even have to ask-, for the book, umm, I-,” you flail your arms around, stumbling over your words.

“You didn’t have to ask us to not order the overpriced chocolates from Europe?”

“Yeah,” you tug at your earlobe. “So thank you. For not force feeding me copious amounts of sugar and cacao.”

Mr. Hunham smooths out his shirt and swiftly wipes underneath his eyes, “Well… I hear shipping costs are rather high nowadays.”

Day Nine - December 26th, 1970

The entirety of Massachusetts looks as idyllic as a postcard. The colonial houses and snow-covered lawns were so Norman Rockwell that you felt sickly sweet. You had attempted at first, to get the stubborn radio to turn on to no avail. After a while you all managed to chat amongst yourselves about local news. Not that you had any recent access to that information to be able to understand it all. Mr. Hunham had his own fun informing you all about the origins of Christmas traditions. Like how popcorn garlands could be traced down to some colonists in Virginia.

The talking had dwelled down as you reached Roxbury. You had been disappointed that Mary wouldn't be tagging along to Boston, but you knew her going to her sister’s meant more than you could understand.

“Here we are,” Mary sighs as the car stops in front of a large apartment building.

“Boy, that's an awful lot of stairs,” Mr. Hunham comments.

“And probably icey too.”

“Mhm.”

Although you understand the hints, you're not so sure Angus is. You kick his heel to break through whatever trance he is in.

“Mr. Tully?” Hunham calls.

His eyes widened, “Right… Mary, can I help with your bags?”

“Yes please.”

Angus is handed the keys to open the trunk. He gets out and collects a suitcase and a round little box and goes across the street.

“Hey, be careful with the box,” Mary orders from the open car window.

“I’ll help too!” You smile.

“No, that's okay sweetheart. Let him be gentlemanly.”

“I really just want to stretch my legs.”

“You can go,” Hunham says, “don’t wander far.”

“Thank you,” you say.

Mr. Hunham watches you jog across the street and stop at the bottom of the stairs to look up at Angus. He turns towards Mary, “You know you’re more than welcome to a room at the hotel. We’ve got the money.”

“Are you out of your mind? I need a break from you and Angus and all your damn bickering. Besides, I'm looking forward to visiting my little sister. She’s pregnant.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” He cheers and takes Mary’s hand and squeezes it. She scrunches her nose.

“Mr. Hunham. Mr. Hunham!” She pulls away and cradles her hand like it's been broken.

“Oh, I’m sorry. My hands sweat. It’s hyperhidrosis. Sorry.”

You bounce back to the car, crouching down slightly to speak to Mary, “Angus is asking how far to go.”

The two adults peer through the car windshield to spot the boy, “One more flight up!” Mary instructs.

You go back to observing him like a guard dog, one hand on your waist and the other over your eyes to block out the sun. You hear Mary get out of the Nova and wave up at her sister and who you presume to be her husband.

“Mary!”

“Hi!” she shouts back.

You pout as she approaches you, “Bye Mary.”

“Aww,” she pinches your cheek briefly. You don’t have enough time to appreciate the touch. “Don’t be so moody. I’ll see you soon. And look at the bright side. You get a hotel room all to yourself.”

“I’m going to feel all vacant in there.”

“Just do me a favor.”

“Yes?”

“Eat all the fancy snacks in the hotel mini fridge for me.”

“I’ll stuff them in my suitcase for you,” you promise.

“Thank you,” she tucks your hair back to protect it from the harsh breeze tangling it out everywhere.

Angus’s footsteps are loud as he practically skips over to you two. He loops his arm around yours and tries to drag you away, “Bye Mary!”

“Uh-uh. Where are you going?”

“I was just-,” Angus babbles.

“You’re not done yet. You have to help me up there.”

“Yeah, sure thing,” he relents, letting go of you and switching over to Mary.

You whirl around and head back to the car. You wish you could continue glancing at him, and the way the sun peeks through his hair and makes it appear browner than usual. But it's only so long until it begins to get creepy. Only so long until it is noticeable that you’re not admiring him as just a friend.

…

You settle in at the Sheraton Commander. It's a nice hotel with chandeliers in the lobby. Everyone around you looks like businessmen in a hurry or professors with a lecture to attend. Your room is right across from Mr. Hunham and Angus, and already you feel lonely at hearing their squabble across the hall.

You had kicked your suitcase underneath your bed and then went to knock at their door.

Mr. Hunham answers, “Ah, Miss L/n. Good. We were just discussing what to do for dinner.”

The door widens to allow you to enter, and you find a seat next to Angus on the end of his bed. “I thought we would go out to eat?”

“That’s exactly what I said but Mr. Hunham insists we stay in,” Angus says annoyed.

“It’s late! If we went out now, we could be met with frostbite and discomfort. We will get a proper night's rest and then enjoy the wonders of Boston.”

Angus groans beside you and you hop off the mattress. You silently ask for the room service menu which Hunham holds.

You scan through the foods, “They have some good options Angus…”

“Ugh,” Angus tugs at his hair. “Fine. What do they have?”

“You like Fettuccine Alfredo, get that.”

“Not if it doesn’t have chicken,” you know that's not true, and he’s just trying to be unnecessarily complicated. Still, you play along.

“Alright. I’ll get the chicken parmesan and give you some of it. Deal?”

“Deal,” he rolls his eyes.

“What are you getting Mr. Hunham?” You address the man.

“I don’t know,” he puts on the glasses that had been resting on his head. “I haven’t had ravioli in a while…”

“Get the ravioli. It’s courtesy of Barton afterall.”

Mr. Hunham hums, “I suppose you're right… Do either of you have an aching for anything particularly sweet after your dinner?”

You and Angus smile at each other, “I wouldn't mind some cake.”

“I wouldn't either.”

Mr. Hunham chuckles and picks up the phone on the night table. He presses some buttons and listens to dial tone before a staff member picks up.

“Hello, yes can I…”

You drown out the order as you draw open the curtains to their window.

“Holy shit. You can see Harvard from here.”

“Oh yeah. The receptionist mentioned that while you were busy admiring the Greek pillars. I think she thinks we’re on a campus trip.”

“I can only see layered brick from my window.”

“Well, that's Cambridge for you.”

You squint your eyes, “Are you really that bothered about not going out. Everything closed anyway.”

“That's what your brainwashed, rural, New England mind wants you to think. This is Boston. A city. Things here probably don’t close until three a.m”

“I doubt that.”

“Want to bet?” He whispers, smirking.

“What?”

“Let’s go out tonight. After Hunham declares it lights out.”

You shake your head, “We can’t, he's been so nice to us. I mean, c’mon, he drove us here.”

“This isn’t me trying to, like, undermine or disrespect him or anything. I just want to hang out with you.”

You fold under his gaze, and look back at Mr. Hunham who is still on the phone. “I don’t know Angus…”

“We’ll sneak out for an hour tops. He’s a heavy sleeper.”

Nervously you nod like he might overhear you even though he’s pretty preoccupied on getting a glass of Jim Beam brought up with the rest of your dinner.

“I guess. But you have to use your Christmas money to buy him a book on ancient Rome or something. As a present.”

“I’ll start marking the map,” Angus picks up a discarded pamphlet provided by the hotel. You smile at his eagerness as he tries to slyly look for places to visit. Mr. Hunham hangs up the phone and sighs contently.

“Food in thirty minutes. Wash up!” …

Mr. Hunham was chewing his last ravioli, and holding onto his half-finished bottle of Jim Beam like it was precious cargo. A Farewell to Arms, had come on TV, leading his current tangent. Even though you were anxious to get your plans on track, you couldn't help the way your mouth widened in awe as you listened to his words. You had no idea why Angus claimed to be so bored in his class. Hunham was better than any history teacher you had ever had.

“Although there is no credible proof, of course, that Hemingway described his hometown as one of ‘wide lawns and narrow minds,’ it would track considering his works. Actually, were you aware that his town was once a single entity? It's called Cicero and as you know, Mr. Tully, he was a very big politician in Ancient Rome. He-,” Mr. Hunham reads the clock on the wall. It's eleven thirty-two.

“Is it that late already?”

“Yes sir,” Angus responds, slightly exhausted.

“I do apologize. Most people tend to stop me once I hit the forty second mark.”

“It was really quite interesting,” you voice, “they don’t go too in depth about the author's life in the inside sleeve of books.”

“Well, uh, I thank you. For listening.”

“No. Thank you. You saved me from buying a biography,” you quip, and he smiles at you. A warm smile.

“Y’know you two are a lot like Hemingway. Maybe you both just happen to be two very large fishes with great minds, born into an incredibly narrow, small pond.”

…

You were kicked out after assisting in the clean-up. You then went to your room and put on your pajamas, along with your shoes. Instead of opting to use your usual sneakers, you put on the black Mary Jane’s your school mandates.

You didn’t know why until you looked Angus eye to eye and said, “I think it balances the rule-breaking out. I sneak out, simultaneously obeying my school's dress code.”

Angus had snorted, before revealing his own tie under his coat, hanging loosely and undone over his neck. You laughed, closed the door behind you and fled down the hotel stairs. It was clear almost immediately your coat, scarf and hat weren’t enough to keep you warm.

“We should turn back,” you suggested desperately.

“We’ve made it down one street.”

“Yes, and I’ve seen three ‘open’ signs. You were right, the world goes on after midnight. Let's go home,” you plead.

“No,” Angus drapes his arm over your shoulder, “we have to do at least one thing. So, think, what do you want to do?”

You mull it over for a second. There was nothing you were desperately wanting to see. The places you did were locked securely by key until tomorrow morning. Boston held no particular memories for you like it did for Angus. However, your parents owned a house downtown that you had been in exactly five times, and you always did like even numbers much better.

“You remember that brownstone on Beacon Hill?”

Angus smirks and nudges you to follow him. The walk to the train is painful with the way snowflakes seem to fall and nip at your skin. The only other commuter in their train car is a lady in scrubs and a defeated salesman. There are plenty of empty seats for you and Angus to hog. Nevertheless, you stand, holding onto the pole, your hands on top of each other. You lift your pinky a couple stops later, having forgotten what limb belongs to you and which was his.

You vaguely recall the address. Really you are navigated towards it through pure instinct. Something deep in your gut telling you ‘Here is the place your father will crash to if he doesn’t want to drive home after work.’

Your quiet walk is interrupted by the whooping of who you assume to be college kids extending their Christmas festivities. They leave, stumbling out of bars and into their cars. You don’t feel inclined to question it until you see them driving towards the brownstone. Your brownstone.

You pick up your pace. You follow the loose strands of streamers and glitter that litter the street.

You stop dead in your tracks at the sight of the house. With its lights on and the windows curtains drawn wide open, just inviting anyone to look inside and envy them. Dead ivy covers its brick walls, and you think back on the gorgeous wisteria that you once saw grow one springtime.

People in decadent clothing filter in and out of the house. Some pass you by and stare you down like your presence is a major disturbance that’s worthy of calling the authorities.

You spot the unmistakable pinned up hair belonging to your mother. She is dressed in silk and pearls. She dances with your father with her eyes closed. She looks at peace. She looks happier than you have ever seen her.

“Y/n…” Angus whispers, trying to get your attention.

But something else catches it instead. The mail slot is full of letters and cards. There are some bills too but that never worried them. They waited until they were threatened to have their light shut off for them to actually pay them with a simple flick of their wallet.

You go through them frantically. You go through the November letters, reaching the early weeks of December until you find the last notice. Sent from your school to them. It looks brand new, untouched. The last fingers to hold them before you were the school administrator and a mailman.

You tear the wax seal off and read the letter.

To the family of Y/n L/n,

This is the confirmation notice that your child will be holding over at Janie Patricks School for Girls for the following next two weeks. She will be supervised under the care of our English Department Head, Ms. Patricia Orchard. Any last-minute changes or concerns must be alerted to her now. Contact information below includes…

You halt halfway through a sentence and let the paper fall onto the dirty snow on the pavement. You want to grab a rock off the sidewalk and hit their window. You want to ruin their fun and embarrass them by asking, “Why did you even bother having me?” Even though you know their answer.

“Because we were expected to.”

To them you’re the anchor tying their boat down. They’re two birds and you just happen to be their cage. You don’t pick up that pebble by your shoe, no matter how tempting. You almost trip as your vision become foggy and you march forward and past Angus. You sit at a bus bench and wish you had a big bag of bird seeds to feed pigeons. Grandparents in parks always seem so content doing that. Angus joins you shortly and uses the end of the wool scarf to wipe your unnoticed tears.

You shakily exhale and white fog floats in the air. “I thought they wanted me during the winter.”

“What?” Angus draws his brows together.

“Spring and summer I get. People want to have a good time at the L/n’s. And I’m a pest like the bugs in the grass who brings the mood down at just my buzzing. But when it’s cold out, I’m more tolerable. I don’t complain as much about the weather so I’m quieter. My lack of attendance can be brushed off easier because they can just say I���m sick.”

“No Y/n-,”

“Secretly, I hoped they just hated me enough to want me to spend holiday break at school. I didn’t actually think they forgot me. I’m their baby. People don’t forget their babies.”

“Hey,” Angus snaps, holding your face between his hands. “They’re assholes and later, when the tears have dried, I know you’ll try to fight me on it. You’ll come up with all these excuses for them, but you have to remember that not once have they ever tried justifying themselves. You can love them. They’re your parents. But likability is different. And I’m sorry because I have never liked your parents.”

“I’m such a bother Angus,” you weep, “all calendar year long.”

“No, you’re not. I want you if no one else. I love you.”

You trace the outline of his face under the street lamppost like a tourist observes a painting in a museum. You find him doing the same. Although not much has changed. You have him ingrained in your mind. You could forget about him, not think of him for fifty years but still be able to scout him out in a crowded street.

You inch closer to him, filled by the sudden urge to be as close as humanly possible to him. It’s an urge that resurfaces every once in a while. Usually you brush it off, blaming the cold or an uncomfortable situation you want to hide from. But tonight all you feel is the warmth only he can radiate and the inimitable way he makes your heart race. You remove the hand cupping your face and kiss his knuckles.

“How is it that you want me?” You shakily breath.

“I want you in the spring, summer, autumn, winter,” he leans in closer, bumping noses with you.

“Really?” you murmur, using both hands to comb through the curls.

“I want you, all the time,” He spoke into the short amount of space between you. You were practically breathing into each others' mouths, your lips on the verge of touching.

“Angus, I don't think we should do anything. It’s late and we’re tired. We need to sleep.”

“Trust me, I’m wide awake,” he chuckles.

“You’re my only friend,’’ the rational side shines through. Briefly.

“I want you more than a friend.”

“We should go slow,’’ you bargain.

“Okay,” he presses his lips quickly against you. Eagerly you accept and pull him by his hair. You try to cram in all the lost opportunities with him in seconds. You savor the way his lips feel chapped from the bitter weather against yours. He encapsulates your body, practically pressing you down on the bus bench.

“You’re gonna get us arrested,” you murmur through brief pauses when you go to gasp for air.

His mouth parts, his lips red and puffy, “Yeah. I’m sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Are you-,”

You lunge at his lips, and smile into the kiss. You think this is how the rest of your life is supposed to go. Wherever happens with college and adult life, he has to be there. Because otherwise you don’t know how you will manage to breathe properly.

Then as the party rages on behind you. It floods you. The thing you had been waiting for. The reassurance, the sign you were doing the right thing.

Woosh.

[djhamaradio]

Duppy Echoes Film Reviews

I gravitated to this movie when i read the synopsis, it reminded me of my own life at a boarding school and how griefstricken I would be if my parents abandoned me to stay at school during christmas break. The movie centers around Paul Hunham, a rough around the edges no nonsense history teacher tasked with supervising a group of students who cant go home for the holidays. Among these students is Angus Tully a smart and troubled kid and Mary Lamb, the schools head cool, grieving the loss of her son in the Vietnam war. Forced to spend time together we watch bonds forming among the three. Bonds that help them navigate trauma, and find healing in each others prescence.

This is usualy not the kind of stuff I call riveting cinema but in this glutinous world of entertainment we live in, I often find myself reaching for anything to pass the time. I read the reviews and decided to watch this while dosing off waiting for the Sandman to take me to La La land, and i was utterly entertained. I connected with this because like I mentioned previously I went to boarding school from 8th through 12th grade, and it was considered a kind of right of passage. A character building and toughening experience.

[gmaybe666]

a guy who looks like angus tully (but shorter) down to the tan jacket, gym bag and corduroy flares just got onto my tram with a girl. there’s someone up there and they love to inflict cruelty upon me and remind me I will never find my idealised love

[musedblues]

Slightly Mad Masterlist

- Rockstar!Eddie -

More Than Words

Forever And For Real

- Eddie Munson -

Another Little Piece

- Geta -

Amore ~ Fati Part 1 / Part 2 / ?

- Time Travel Joe Quinn -

wip 82% loaded

- Angus Tully -

All Things Must Pass

-Blurbs-

Dating On A Bet

-Oneshots-

A Nice Surprise 

Hello Again

From The Shadows

-Blurbs-

Mixtapes - Only One Bed - Ikea - Museum Date

-Oneshots-

You Make Me Feel Like Dancin’

Between The Lines 

Send My Love

Sledge

-Series-

Always Something There To Remind Me Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

-Series-

Born To Love You Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

-Blurbs-

HC’s a few years later

-Blurbs-

Friends With Crystal - Dancing With Brian - Dad John - Roger Helps With Panic Attack - Power Outtage With John - Adopting With Brian - Dancing With Brian - Running Into Bri - Secretly Dating John

-Oneshots-

We’ll Be Alright - (Roger x Reader)

The Fire And The Flames (John x Reader)

Call It Fate Call It Karma (Brian x Reader)

-Fics-

A Taste Of Honey - Part 2 (John x Reader)

[spatialwave]

𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝. 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨.

“𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐒”

pairing: angus tully x fem!reader | benny o’donnell x fem!reader word count: 10.6k summary: school is out, and you’re free of the shackles of education, an entire summer in the horizon. after pickford’s end-of-school party gets busted, boredom and uncertainty strikes. instead of drinking and partying, you find yourself falling deeper and deeper into a love triangle you hadn’t meant to get yourself caught in — what will you do? who will you choose? warnings/tags: underage drinking and drug use, use of homophobic slurs, bullying, verbal assault, jealousy, love triangle. notes: not me writing this and actually getting obsessed with benny (cole hauser). still not beta'd, so apologies for grammatical/pacing errors!

(ao3 vers.) <- chapter one. chapter three. ->

Sharing a joint before coming home was not the smartest decision you’d made in your career as a high school student. The haziness had left your limbs heavy and your mind up in the clouds, your bed so incredibly inviting. In fact, so inviting that the moment you stepped into your room, you had curled up into your bed and nuzzled into the blankets.

Your body was heavy, but floating. All you could think about was Angus Tully, a smile spreading as your fingers pressed against your lips. You were lost in your imagination, mind stuck on wondering what it would feel like with his lips pressed against yours. How his body would feel pressed over yours, hands in his wild curls, legs wrapped around his hips so he’s flush against you. Heavy breaths and the taste of weed on your lips as your tongues brushed together.

Soon, you were far in a dreamless nap until you heard the clanking of pots and pans from the kitchen—your mother cooking dinner. The sleep had left you disoriented, your hair in a mess and arms achy from passing out in an uncomfortable position. You wished to fall asleep again.

With the evening sun moving down into the horizon and the night sky daring to take over, you couldn’t will yourself to get out of bed. All your mind could focus on was the day you’d just had, and you were nearly content with laying back down and imagining it all over again. The afternoon you’d spent with Angus and how you couldn’t wait to see him again, even with the plans of a party falling through. 

You would see him at some point, but when and where? 

Without the effects of weed, you were left with a knot in your stomach, a reminder of how nervous you were about the situation. It was easier to be inebriated and forget about the harsh reality of Angus being a ‘taken’ man, versus you being sober and seeing Elise’s face burned into your head every time you closed your eyes.

Eventually, after a few minutes of fighting off the urge to sleep and reminding yourself you wasted precious time, you forced yourself up in your bed and rubbed away the tiredness in your eyes. It took a forceful push for you to crawl out of bed and placing your feet on your carpeted floor, wiggling your toes as you slowly woke up and came back into your consciousness.

You wobbled over to your dresser and reached to your record player, putting the tonearm down and placing the needle onto the record–Dreamboat Annie by Heart. Your all-time favourite record.

The best decision you made since coming home was a hot shower that nearly burned your skin, ending it off with a quick rinse of cold water to jolt you awake from the grogginess that had consumed you. Music played through the closed door of your adjoined bathroom, lucky enough to score a better bedroom than Mitch, your younger brother. Softly singing along to the muffled sounds of Crazy on You, you dried off your body and let your wet hair cling to your damp skin, eyes looking over your body in the foggy mirror. You often tried not to look at yourself too much in mirrors, a practice that was ingrained into you as a young child from your mother reprimanding you from being ‘too vain’–ah, the joys of living in a catholic household.

Then, before you could act in vain, the pounding of someone knocking on your bedroom door furiously took your attention, and you wondered if your mother found out about you smoking with Angus and Slater. You hurriedly finished drying your body and moved back into your bedroom with the towel wrapped around you, body shivering at the difference in air temperature.

“What?” You snapped at the bothersome knocking, pressing your ear against the door, expecting your mother’s voice and the imminent disapproval of your actions.

“Angus is outside,” your brother’s voice spoke. He sounded tired, but you remembered he’d just gotten home from his baseball game–meaning you hardly had anytime before Kaye would be showing up. 

And here you were, in a towel, and the boy you’d been dreaming about waiting for you outside.

“Fuck,” you whined, hearing the footsteps of your brother move away, “thanks for letting me know!”

You panicked in your room, looking around as you dropped the towel and quickly dug in your dresser for clothes, anything remotely decent for the party. It was hard to slip on with your damp skin, but you’d eventually managed to get into high-waisted denim bell-bottoms and a cropped, flower-print halter top that exposed your belly. It even managed to make you look bustier than normal, you wouldn’t complain about that.

Your hair was still wet as you unlocked your bedroom door and made way for the front, spotting a shadowy figure through the small window on the door. Taking a calming, deep breath, you reached for the door handle and slowly opened it, peaking out of it first before committing to stepping outside.

Immediately, your eyes settled on Angus, the tall, lanky boy leaning against the column that held up the awning over the front door. Those brown eyes flickered up to look at you, a delighted smile adorning his lips as he pushed off the column and shoved his hands into his pockets. With a breathy, nervous laugh, you fully stepped outside and closed the door behind you, pressing your weight back against it as you forced yourself to meet his piercing gaze.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, hands tucked behind your body and fidgeting with them as you kept steady breaths. 

“I brought Mitch back from his ball game and wanted to see what you were up to,” he replied, still grinning shyly, “I know it’s only been a couple of hours, but I was here already. So, yeah… just wanted to pop-in.”

There was that awkward side of him again, a part of him you saw when no one else was around. A shy, awkward kid that you could only imagine was most of his personality when he was younger and far before he’d made it as a popular football player. Though, it was all speculation, you still hadn’t known much about his younger self—you’d love to know.

“Thanks for bringing him back… Did they get him?” You asked, cringing at the mere thought of your younger brother getting caught by the senior boys, exposed to harsh paddling.

“Uh, yeah, unfortunately.” Angus pulled his eyes away, “Kountze is such a prick, I told your brother to ice up for a bit or else he’d be having a hard time sitting for a few weeks.”

“At least he’s home now,” you sighed, arms crossed over your body as you sympathized with your brother’s pain.

Silence rose between you two, and you found yourself unable to look up at Angus. You could see out of your peripheral that it was the same for him, his eyes dropping to look at his feet.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” You asked quietly, an amused expression on your face as you two connected eyes again.

“What? This doesn’t count as something?” He chided in return, stepping closer to you, and you almost wanted to ask if he could reach forward and slip his finger into your belt loop like he did earlier. Tug your hips together and talk some more, shameless flirting. You lived for his attention like it was a drug. 

Craved it.

“It is something, but I’m not sure how productive it is,” you laughed, reaching for the door handle behind you, “do you know if anything is happening tonight?”

Angus crinkled his face, signifying that plans were still a bust, “Not really sure yet. Probably going to drive around and see what’s up I guess, maybe go to the Emporium. I just gotta’ go home and change.”

Silence filled the space between you both again, leaving you dumbfounded and chewing on your lip as you racked your brain with something to say that wouldn’t sound stupid. You were drawing a blank, feeling like a young girl talking to a cute boy for the first time. It was easy for that feeling to come back when you were alone with Angus, a testament to how badly you were crushing on him.

“I should, uh-–” you murmured, clearing your throat as you twisted the knob, “go back in and get ready. Kaye will be here any second, and I haven’t even dried my hair.”

That roused a laugh from Angus, his eyes flicking up to your hair that had started to dry at the roots, a bit all over the place, but he liked the authenticity you displayed. He liked you at your best and at your worst, but this was far from your worst. He found himself wanting to stay put, to ask to go inside and spend the rest of his night hanging out with you instead of out driving around and drinking with the boys. Angus could already imagine what you two could get up to if you were alone—it filled him with excitement.

“I’ll see you later, then?” Angus asked, getting his mind out of the gutter, but not yet moving from his spot. He towered over you with that stupid smile, the one that made you want to wipe it away with your lips.

“Maybe,” you couldn’t help but tease, your hand pressing against his chest and pushing him back playfully, fingers relishing in the brief contact, “go on, I’m sure your boys are missing you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. My boys.” he chuckled, moving down the front steps and walking backward to keep his eyes on you, “Don’t you go missing me too much, alright?”

“I never do!” You called out to him through a big smile, watching as he slipped around the other side of his car and clutched his heart, as though you shot him. So dramatic.

Your feet had stayed firmly planted on the ground, eyes watching as he waved at you through his passenger side window before driving off down your block. You stayed there for a few minutes, watching the setting sun, before realization hit, and you ran back inside to finish getting ready.

Makeup and hair was your focus as you raced the clock, fingers careful as you applied colour to your lips and cheeks, coating your lashes in mascara to brighten the eyes and make you look alive. Those same careful hands moved to your hair, styling it several ways before you settled on something that kept it out of your eyes—nothing fancy. 

As your finger patted on one final layer of colour to your cheeks, after accidentally smudging your face with mascara and needing a fix, you heard the sound of a car honking outside. Quickly, you did one final look over of yourself in your full-length mirror, sucking in a deep breath and smiling. You looked fucking incredible. You were confident. There was nothing that could ruin your night.

“Goodbye, mom! I’ll see you later!” You called you as you slipped out from your bedroom, waltzing down the hallway excitedly. You had hardly seen her today, only at breakfast and a ten minutes earlier when you snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a small plate of food to settle your stomach before the night began.

“Try not to stay out all night, alright?” She called back, you could hear the sound of her doing the dishes, porcelain clinging together as she stacked the drying rack full, “And don’t be loud, you’ll wake up your grandmother.” 

“I promise.” You said, peaking your head into the kitchen to spot your mother, flashing her a smile that simply couldn’t let her be grumpy with you.

“Have fun,” she said to you, rolling her eyes as she put away the last of the dry dishes and watched you slip on your sandals and run out the door, feeling nothing short but free. The two of you always had a great relationship, but as you got older, you could tell that her emotions were starting to get the best of her. Soon, you’d be gone to college and off living your own adult life, she wasn’t ready to let that go yet, and sometimes you had to fight for a night with your friends.

Thankfully, she understood the importance of tonight. She was a senior at Lee High School once.

“Hey! Sabrina!” You cheered, spotting the freshman sitting in the back of Kaye’s Volkswagen Convertible as you jogged out of your front door, eager to get the night started. You slid easily into the passenger seat, settling in and turning on your side to look at the two girls, “how was the car wash?” You asked, a mischievous smile on your lips—thankful you weren’t there to watch the madness.

“Cold,” the freshman chuckled, playing with the ends of her hair as Kaye hit the pedal and the car lurched forward as you made way for a night of driving with the girls, “but I was cleaned off at least. I was starting to feel sick from the smell of mustard. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go to any summer barbecues this year.”

“Hope the other girls weren’t too hard on you,” you hummed in thought, leaning against the seat and watching over the brunette, who seemed much too sweet for her own good. You could already see the heads she’d be turning at school in the fall, you wondered how Darla would make do with it. She reeked of insecurity, the type of girls to get jealous over fresh meat coming in and whisking attention away.

“No, they were good,” she assured, “Then after Kaye dropped me off and invited me along tonight.”

“Wow, she does have a heart,” you spoke in feigned awe, earning a playful shove from Kaye, who glared at you from the driver’s seat.

After the sun fully set beyond the horizon, and you and Kaye had smoked a couple cigarettes and assaulted Sabrina with questions about the upcoming school year, you found yourself watching the scenery that passed by. You’d also mentioned to them how Pickford’s party was busted, unsurprised was that they’d heard about it already. New travelled sickeningly fast.

You smiled to yourself as you enjoyed the cool breeze on your skin from the top of the car being down, relief from the hot sun earlier that afternoon.

“So, you left with Angus early,” Kaye said, looking in the rearview and connecting her gaze with Sabrina, who wasn’t looped into the entirety of the drama, “Right, to get you up to speed, Miss Freshman, your favourite senior here is a conniving, two-timing woman.”

“I am not conniving!” You gasped, swatting at Kaye.

“Kidding! Kidding! I would never accuse you of anything bad. You’re allowed to have options,” She laughed, eyes on the road as you three cruised down random neighbourhood roads, navigating your way downtown to stop at Top Notch. You rolled your eyes, but did not interrupt, allowing Kaye her space to go on. She cleared her throat, “So, to sum it up into one sentence, she’s in a casual, steamy relationship with Benny, but has the hots for Angus, a certified popular quarterback who is already dating Elise… Saying it out loud makes it sound like a cringe-worthy romance movie plot. You are now a walking cliché, I hope you know that.”

Sabrina’s eyes narrowed slightly as she tried to keep up with the information that was being thrown at her, names she’d never heard of and scandals she didn’t quite understand.

“Okay, I would not consider me and Benny to be in a relationship, like, at all. Also, calling Angus a popular quarterback does not do him justice,” you butted in, looking over at Kaye with a quirked brow, “he’s a really sweet guy. He’s kind to me. Not just some popular boy. You know, he doesn’t even like being popular.” Kaye rolled her eyes at your comment, always having another opinion than your own, especially when it came to societal issues.

“That’s the curly haired boy you were talking to, right?” The freshman spoke up, tucking hair behind her ear that was blowing wildly in the wind.

“Yep, that’s him,” you smiled back at Sabrina.

“He likes you,” she smiled, a bit uncertain if her advice was warranted, “I mean, if I were a boy… I’d probably stare at a girl like that if I liked her.”

Redness filled your cheeks at the girl's words of wisdom, which left your stomach in knots.

“But he’s with Elise!” You groaned, letting your head fall back against the seat as you stared up at the night sky, “Love is so complicated. It’s like, does he want me or not? If he does, why won’t he break up with her? I feel so goddamn guilty because of her.”

“Easy, cowgirl,” Kaye chuckled, glancing back at Sabrina and clicking her tongue, “I don’t see why you’ve got your panties in a twist, you don’t even like Elise. I’d go as far as to say you probably hate her.”

“I do not hate her,” you lift a finger, not needing your words to get twisted, “And even if she was the world’s worst person, I would still feel guilty because I’m not a bad person.”

Kaye smirked to herself, fingers gripping the wheel a bit tighter as she listened to your concerns, “So… she does have a heart.” She returned the earlier sentiment.

“You’re an ass,” you groaned, lips twitching into a smile, “What do I do? Sabrina, what would you do?”

You turned in your seat again, eyes locking onto the younger girl and waiting to see what advice she would give. Sure, young teens were inexperienced in all sorts of ways, especially compared to your own, but they always said shit exactly like it was. Wiser than most adults gave them credit for.

The girl thought about it, weighing options in her head, “I would confront him about it,” she advised, “if he does really like you then he’d do something about it… right?”

You kept your eyes on Sabrina, pointing at her with a small smile on your face as you admired her intelligence and common sense, “You’re really smart, kid. You make sure that boys treat you good, okay? And if they don’t, you come and find me.”

“And find a boy that’s not dumb like Benny or Angus.” Kaye jumped in, earning yet another playful swat from you that had Sabrina laughing.

As you all drove down the emptying streets, you felt relief. Sabrina’s words kept repeating in your mind, knowing that the only way through the situation was with confrontation, how was Angus supposed to understand your concerns if he didn’t know what they were? Of course, you hoped that he would break up with her regardless before even attempting to flirt with you, but it’s not like you were the poster child for good morals. In the depths of your mind you kept thinking about Benny—you two were far from dating, having several discussions about keeping it casual, but you feared you two were far closer than what had been said aloud.

It had you thinking of his feelings, knowing that if you wanted to play your cards right and be moral well, you’d have to end things with him. Yet, like the fiend you were, you didn’t want to lose out on your back-up if it all fell through with Angus. 

At least Benny was good in bed.

Could things get any worse?

For distraction, you found yourself singing along to the radio, Black Sabbath, one of Kaye’s favourite bands that you’d grown to like. Hard rock wasn’t your forte, but you’d enjoyed the way you’d grown adept at liking things far out of your comfort zone. So long to the girl who only listened to pop albums, now your mother was concerned you were getting into the wrong crowd when you asked her to buy you an AC/DC record for your seventeenth birthday.

Kaye turned on the road, slowing down as you pulled into the drive-thru, pulling up behind a car full of some soon-to-be junior girls–ordering drinks and snacks for you all to share. That’s when you heard the familiar sound of a truck, your eyes pulling away from the chili cheese fries and toward the rumbling of an engine. None other than Darla and Elise, Shavonne having slipped out of the vehicle and running over to jump into the back beside Sabrina, saying her hellos to you all. She focused on properly introducing herself to the new girl as they indulged in some fries together in the backseat.

You, though, couldn’t pull your gaze away and found yourself in a staring match with Elise. With a clenched jaw, you felt anger course through your veins, a rush of jealousy taking over as your mind swirled with all those ugly thoughts of her and Angus together. Envy. You were morphing into a green-eyed monster.

There was so much pent-up energy in you that you wanted to get out of the car and march on over to confront her. To reveal that even though she appeared so naive and innocent on the outside, she was far from it. Elise was a secret mean girl—at least Darla was a bitch to your face.

“Hey!”

You jumped in your seat and turned to look between the three girls, eyes widening as Kaye took a sip of her Coke and looked between you and the truck that had pulled away from Top Notch. Your short-haired friend was too perceiving for her own good, having witness the entirety of your glaring match with the girls.

“Sorry,” you murmured, looking down at the basket of fries in your hands and deciding to calm yourself with a few bites of the greasy food. You needed to get a grip. You hadn’t even had a sip of alcohol yet, and you were already fearing that tonight you’d be an angry drunk.

“Elise and Darla hate you,” Shavonne said, stealing the large coke from Kaye’s hands, her energy so calm that you wouldn’t have been able to tell that she dropped big news on you two.

“What?” You snapped, spinning in your seat so you were on your knees and facing the two in the back. “What did she say? Shavonne, tell us.”

“I don’t know… you have to promise me you won’t get mad,” Shavonne murmured, blue eyes flickering between everyone, “They said something about both of you,” the blonde shot her gaze over to Kaye, who furrowed her brows in a mix of confusion and semi-offence. Mostly curiosity.

“So, you’re all talking about us behind our backs? I would have never guessed.” Kaye grumbled, though the smile on her lips proved how uncaring she was.

“I’m not saying anything until you promise me that neither of you will get mad,” Shavonne said from her spot, looking between her two best friends.

“I won’t get mad, I don’t care what they think,” you reassured her, eagerly leaning forward to hear the gossip. Kaye agreed quietly, eyes flickering into the rearview mirror.

Shavonne held off on her words for a few moments, slowly sipping from the Coke until she was satisfied and let out a long exhale, “Okay, fine. She said you’re a slut,” she pointed to you, “and she called you a dyke,” ending off her words toward Kaye.

The three of you all stared at each other for a few moments, Sabrina looking rather uncomfortable as she feared that you’d all erupt into anger and this would get worse than it already was. The silence was deafening, the sounds of others at the drive-thru somehow seeming quiet and muffled as the words settled in.

Then, you and Kaye busted into a loud fit of laughter, following shortly by Shavonne and an uncertain Sabrina, who chuckled nervously. She seriously didn’t understand high school drama, and she was already growing afraid at the prospect of it. If someone called her a slut, she’d cry about it for days!

“God, they’re so annoying,” you breathed out through a laugh as you settled back into your seat, only feeling the slightest tinge of anger. Mostly, this relieved you because any ounce of sympathy you had over Elise was gone like the wind. 

Sure, it was far from having good morals, but you certainly hoped that you’d be finding yourself with Angus somewhere tonight. Alone, and not so quiet. It’s what you both deserved.

“Did you see how Jason didn’t even say hi to me in class earlier?” Shavonne’s voice was loud over the wind as you girls drove down main street, the radio lowered, “I mean, he walked up to the door and saw me inside and didn’t even acknowledge my existence. He’s such a prick.”

“And here Kaye is trying to tell me that Benny is the worst in school,” you chuckled, glancing back to look at Shavonne, “Jason is a prick, though, he always tries to play hard to get as if you two haven’t been seeing each other all year, like, what’s his deal?”

“Right!” Shavonne exclaimed, taking another drink of the coke that was nearly gone, “And honestly, I’m doing him a favour by sleeping with him. I’m so out of his league.”

“He’s such a weirdo. He thinks being a football player makes him the most popular boy in the school,” you huffed.

“Well, it kind of does,” Shavonne sighed as she deflated into her seat for a moment, only a few seconds later puffing out her chest and sitting up straighter, “Screw him!” She exclaimed, lifting her hands in the air and shedding all worries as she forced herself to cheer out into the night sky. An easy way to uplift her energy. If there was one thing you admired about Shavonne, it was her ability of keeping herself out of the gutter. There was very little that could hold her down, and if it did, it never lasted.

“You tell him,” Kaye chimed in with a big smile, glancing in her rearview when she heard an engine roaring behind–the smile immediately faltering, “Speak of the fucking devil.”

All of you shifted in your seats to look back, seeing Pickford’s car rev up until they reached the same speed as Kaye’s. Inside sat Pickford, Jason, and some boy you didn’t quite recognize that was passing a bong back and forth with Slater in the back seat. Your eyes stared at Jason, narrowing slightly in solidarity with Shavonne’s disappointment.

Jason, who was sitting in the passenger seat, leaned forward to look past Pickford, “Hey, what’s going on?” He asked your group, a smile spread on his lips and completely unaware of the complaining that was going on between you four.

Your eyes lingered on Jason, a brow quirked—severely unimpressed. 

“What are you up to?” Shavonne called over, leaning against her door and locking eyes with Jason, a small smile on her lips. You caught her behaviour, holding back the urge to roll your eyes at how coy she was being after just talking bad about him—she was only human. 

“Oh, you know, smoking a little weed. Driving around,” he said casually, licking his lips as he focused those eyes on the blonde sitting in the backseat of Kaye’s car, “There might be a beer bust later on, just thought you’d want to know.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool,” Shavonne was trying so hard to hide that smile, but it was impossible. Again, you couldn’t blame her, Jason was a really cute guy. Why stay mad, especially on a night like this?

“Do you know where Angus is?” You called over, eyes flickering between Jason and Slater, figuring they were the last to see him. That was enough to garner everyone’s attention, even Pickford removed his eyes from the road to glance at you.

You hadn’t realized that your affairs were so public. 

“He’s back at the Emporium, man,” Slater said from his spot in the backseat, hardly able to keep his eyes fully opened and a goofy smile tainting his lips, “Hanging with Wooderson… I like that guy, man.”

You felt your cheeks warm up at the mere mention of his whereabouts, feeling the stare of Kaye from behind you. Couldn’t you have any peace? If Shavonne could immediately forgive Jason for being a bad not-so-boyfriend, then you should be able to lust after Angus freely! She did say you’re allowed to have options.

“Elise better watch her boy,” Jason said through a grin, wiggling his eyebrows at you. Just as he turned to look at Shavonne, his mouth opening to say his goodbyes—

“Check you later!” Slater said in a dorky tone as he snapped his fingers into guns, a big, toothy smile on his lips. Kaye sped up and down the street, you girls all laughing together as you barely heard Jason chastising Slater for ruining it.

“They’re such dorks,” Kaye shook her head, lifting a hand to adjust her rearview mirror, catching Sabrina in it, “How are you like it so far, Freshie?” She asked, both you and Shavonne’s attention landing on her.

“It’s fun,” Sabrina smiled, “I’ve uh, never had a night like this before. Do you drive around like this a lot?”

“Pretty much,” you answered, turning ahead in your seat as you looked down at your nails, too dark to properly inspects your cuticles, “There’s not much to do in the evenings unless there’s a party, so this is better than nothing.”

“We know this whole city like this back of our hand,” Shavonne said, grinning, “Do your best to keep an eye on it all, yeah? Someday, I’m sure you’ll be driving around with a cute boy looking for a place to park for some… alone time.” She nudged the younger girl, Sabrina blushing at the insinuation.

“Shavonne, do not inflict your teenage horniness on this poor freshman.” Kaye reprimanded playfully, turning down a quiet street.

“What? I’m allowed!” Shavonne snarked, smirking over at the younger girl, “Have you even had your first kiss yet?”

Those words caught your attention as you snuck a glance over your shoulder, smiling when you saw how Sabrina’s cheeks were bright red. That alone was enough admission of the truth, and you could only hope that her high school career was less dramatic than your own.

“We meant what we said earlier,” you said as you adjusted yourself, “Make sure you find a nice boy.”

“She was chatting with Tony earlier, asked her to propose to him.” Kaye chewed on her bottom lip, pulling the car through the neighbourhoods that were quiet and still. Families tucked away in their homes after dinner, porch lights flicking off and on to silently beckon their children away from their evening playtime and back inside.

“Tony?” You smiled brightly, knowing that the blonde boy was a friend of Angus’. You’d been invited to play poker with them a couple of times before, only having made it there once, “Now he is a nice boy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a vulgar word coming from his mouth, you know.”

“Yeah, he seems nice,” Sabrina giggled shyly, tucking some of her curly hair behind her ear, “He’s just… older, though. Do seniors even like freshman?”

You and Shavonne laughed together, finding her words too innocent. She knew absolutely nothing of high school culture, and you were almost certain she didn’t have an older sister. To be this clueless was a nightmare and a half—you experienced it firsthand as the eldest sibling in your family.

“You have no fucking idea,” the blonde snickered, “I’m so glad you’re with us, Sabrina, you have so much to learn.”

The freshman was wide-eyed and looking between you all, “So… they do like freshman girls?”

“Yes, and it’s sickening,” Kaye said, “I might complain about Jason and Benny every day of my life, but at least they date girls their age,” she said, slowing down as she pulled back onto main street and pulled over on the side of the road where a garbage can was–shifting the car into park, “But Tony is actually a decent guy, so I’ll let that slide.”

Shavonne silently knew her assigned task, scooping up the garbage you girls collected over the past hour and hopping out of the vehicle to throw it away. Once back, she lit up a cigarette, settling back into the seat beside Sabrina and exhaling the smoke up into the night sky.

“Yeah, he’s not a pig like Teddy Kountze. You watch out for him, he flunked senior year, so he’s eighteen now and will still be trying to get with the freshman girls,” you warned her carefully, “and he’s a douchebag. There’s nothing good about him.”

Shavonne nodded to your words, passing the cigarette to you, “You know, my dad was twenty-two when he started dating my mom at sixteen,” she looked between you all, “Now that I’m seventeen it gives me the creeps. My dad was Wooderson’s age when they met, that’s messed up.”

“Do you think he’ll be still hitting on the girls when Sabrina is a senior?” Kaye piped up through a laugh, taking the cigarette from you and inhaling.

The freshman, again, look wide-eyed and nervous. It was endearing.

“Don’t worry,” you said to her through a chuckle, “trust me when I tell you that you’ll know who he is when you see him, and you’ll be rightly turned off. I don’t trust the girls that get with him.”

“Didn’t you sleep with him?” Shavonne kicked your seat.

“What? No! I said I thought about it when he asked,” you grumbled, “I have morals.”

“Obviously not enough to stay away from dudes that have girlfriends,” Kaye rebuked, an impish look on her face.

“I resent that baseless accusation,” you snorted, reaching down to put your hand on the gear shift, “Start driving.”

“Shit, I almost forgot to tell you!” Shavonne squealed, sitting forward so she could lean herself between you and Kaye, falling back slightly as the car sped back onto the road, “I heard from a little bird that Elise is thinking of breaking up with Angus.”

“Really?” You murmured, looking over your shoulder at Shavonne, “don’t lie.”

“I swear to god, she told me herself. She said that she’s getting bored, and she feels like she could do better for senior year,” your friend continued, delighted to see your interest, “But I don’t know if she’ll go through with it.”

“Why not?” Kaye piped up, brows furrowing as she listened to the gossip.

“Because she knows that miss love triangle over here has been hanging out with him,” Shavonne smiled, “Darla saw you two driving around last weekend and Elise is pissed.”

“What? There’s nothing illegal about driving around. We’re friends,” you complained, offended.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, sweetheart, everyone knows that you and Angus have the hots for each other,” Shavonne grinned, “But just know that your little rendezvous are the reason that Elise has decided to hold off on breaking up with him. If you two waited just a few more weeks before spending all the free time you could muster up with each other, he’d probably be all yours for the taking.”

A heavy breath came from you, feeling regret pool inside your stomach and leaving it in a sour pit.

“What a spiteful bitch,” you mumbled under your breath.

“Well, look at it this way,” Kaye started, “if things were getting so boring between them that Elise was wanting to break up with him, then you could probably confront him about it, and he’d break up with her. The only question is, will you?”

Much like a whiny toddler, you pouted in your seat and forced your gaze away from your friends, “Yeah, whatever. I’ll think about it… we need to find some fucking alcohol.”

Kaye pulled onto a road that led past the Recreation Centre, where the freshman were having their own summer kick-off party. Not much of a party than it was a dance being chaperoned by a few parents and teachers, you could even hear the song “Love Hurts” by Nazareth being played loudly from the open doors—poor kids. 

Your eyes flickered ahead as Kaye started slowing down, further down the street you saw a vehicle pulled over on the side of the road with its headlights on and the sound of yelling. “What the hell,” you murmured, leaning over the side of your door to look past the windshield. It was Teddy Kountze’s car, cringing when you heard the cries of the boy as a paddle smacked against him.

Jason came walking from around the front of the car where the boy was pushed against a chain link fence, a smile on his face when he saw Shavonne sitting up and looking over at him. However, everyone's attention was faced over to Kountze, who was relentless with his paddling.

“Go easy on him, would you?” You called out, feeling your heart skip a beat when you realized it was Benny holding the other paddle. He turned over to look at you from afar, a smirk on his lips as you tugged your eyes away.

Jason only smiled wider as he walked closer, “Ladies,” he mused, opening the trunk of the car to reveal a sea of beer bottles and cans. He grabbed one of the glass bottles and a bottle cap opener, leaning back against the trunk, just about to open it until you spoke.

“Who’s the kid?” You asked, sitting up in your seat until you were nearly standing and looking overtop the windshield, cringing slightly as you saw Kountze paddling him a few more times, relentless in doing so. You could hear the cracks of the wood against the denim echo, pained cries coming from the kid.

“Oh, the kid there?” Jason hummed, smirking, “Some kid we saw walking around the rec centre that shouldn’t have been there,” Jason bit down on his bottom lip as his eyes focused on the blonde.

You were focused on Benny, who was walking around the car and standing next to Jason, grabbing one of the beers for himself. He was far from the hottest guy you’d ever seen, but you had grown attached to him, whether you realized it or not. That’s why you grinned when he looked at you, biting down onto your lip coquettishly as he returned with a smile of his own. Okay, maybe he was one of the hottest guys you’d ever seen.

There was something about these small town Texan boys that had you flustered.

It was easy to forget about your troubles when you had boys at your disposal, boys who could make you feel good for a night. So the looming responsibilities ahead were far from your mind and instead focused on the pleasure they gave you. That’s what you and Benny were good for each other.

And that’s how it started. A bit of flirting here and there within your first few weeks of arriving at Lee High School, until one day before a football game he came crawling to you with so much pent-up stress. You two had spent the entire night together, not falling asleep until the birds started chirping. That’s why you had to fight the urge to saunter toward him and forget about your worries of Angus, to indulge in what was comfortable for you. Ignoring your future, ignoring how the unknowing scared you.

“Can you give us some of those beers?” Shavonne called out to Jason, a smile on her lips.

“Why?” He grinned, teasing.

“Just give me a beer,” she groaned, her and Sabrina now sitting up on the backs of their seat, looking above you and Kaye.

“Get the fuck out of here!” Kountze’s voice was loud, the paddle smacking against the chain link fence loudly as the kid scurried off toward the cars. He was finally done playing with his food.

As Jason toyed with tossing over a beer to Shavonne, playing with her, he instead turned to the freshman walking past, “Here, catch, kid.” He said, tossing the beer bottle to him and smiling contentedly—it wasn’t by much, but Jason was one of the kinder boys. Not as kind as Angus.

“What did you give him a beer for? You’re wasting beers,” Benny grumbled, cracking open one of the white cans and taking a sip of the foam that nearly spilled out of the opening. His eyes flickered over to you again, smirking from behind his drink as both of you silently agreed on the fact that you’d be seeing each other later.

Far from your thoughts was Angus and the idea of breaking things off with Benny.

Was it so bad to see where things went first?

“This fuckin’ sucks,” Kountze whined, dropping his paddle into the open car door before walking over and picking up a bottle, “Last fuckin’ day of school, no fuckin’ party. No nothin’. Fuck,” as he spoke, his words grew angrier as he tried to open the bottle in his hand. When the cap wouldn’t budge, he huffed and tossed the beer, the glass shattering on the gravel road.

“You just wasted another fucking bee-”

“Shut up.”

In his hands, Jason scooped up four cans of beer, one falling out of his grasp, which Benny managed to catch. As Kountze pouted and drank his beer, leaning up against the trunk of his car, Jason and Benny bringing the rest of you each a drink. 

Coming up to the passenger side, Benny leaned against the door and gave you the beer he’d been dangling in his hand, smirking down at you and making you shift in your seat to look at him better. “You’ll be at the Emporium later?” He asked, his hands lifting to adjust the ball cap he wore, fitting it snug over his hair.

“Maybe,” you hummed, cracking the beer open and taking a sip.

“Don’t act like that. Will you be there?” Benny smiled, a low chuckle rumbling from deep in his chest, his hand reaching forward to play with your hair, something he’s never done before. It almost felt… domestic. Like you two were an exclusive item. You were certain he was only acting this way because you’d been distant lately, likely wanting to see more of you, and that treating you this way would make you go crawling right back to him. There was also the thought of jealousy, if others were already talking about you and Angus, you were one hundred percent certain that those rumours would have found their way to Benny.

You wondered if there was a rift in their friendship lately, from what you knew, Angus and Benny were close. They weren’t best friends, but they had spent years growing up together. That alone made you nervous.

“Okay, yeah. Fine. I’ll see you there.” You bit back a smile, setting your beer down into the cupholder between you and Kaye, thankful that the other three were being entertained by Jason the entire time. The last thing you wanted was for your friend to call you out about shamelessly flirting with two boys in one day. Like Shavonne would say—you’re allowed!

“So, who bought you the beer this time?” Your blonde friend asked Jason, only to be rudely interrupted by a car of freshly-graduated boys driving by with music blaring obnoxiously loud.

“Hey, Benny, you idiot!” A voice slurred loudly, one of the boys from the car, “You know I slept with your girl before you did! Sloppy seconds!” They shouted as they tossed a beer can that hit the side of Kaye’s car.

It happened so fast, everyone turning their heads to look at the culprits driving by, eyes wide and in shook.

They were lying, of course, the words spewed only because those boys were drunk and jealous of the football players. Why they were jealous of someone younger, you couldn’t comprehend—boys were weird. You were unfortunately caught in the crossfire, an easy target with Benny’s attention all over you. The words still stung you, though, your cheeks reddening in embarrassment. You felt a hand, Benny’s, press over your shoulder and gently squeeze it. Reassuring and protective.

It was unlike anything you’d experienced with him, and for the first time he’d grounded you. Weirdly, you felt like you could get used to that feeling.

“Bite me!” Kountze yelled out at the boys protectively, earning a ‘fuck you’ as they sped down the road, “Yeah, you wish, asshole!” Kaye chimed in right after, everyone angry and red-faced on yours and Benny’s behalf.

That was something you could check off—Kountze and Kaye standing up for you at the same time. Two sides of very different coins.

Shyly, you reached a hand up to rest over Benny’s, tilting your head back to look at him as you squeezed his fingers, noting the anger that was swirling in his eyes. The anger he tried to control for your sake. This moment was intimate, leaving you a bit breathless and with butterflies swirling around in your stomach.

You were now fully caught in a mess of boys and blossoming love, certain this night wouldn’t end well for one of you. Hell, maybe none.

“Why are guys such pigs?” Shavonne sneered from her seat, looking over her shoulder to where the car had sped off, now only a layer of dust in the air.

“Let’s get out of here.” Kaye murmured, shifting back in her seat and glancing over at you and Benny, motioning for him to move his hand from you, “You okay?” 

You nodded at Kaye, swallowing a lump down your throat and shoving away your bruised pride, “I, uh, I’ll see you later, then,” your words were directed to Benny. The mood deflated as you settled into your seat, feeling the boy’s gaze on you as he stepped back. You already yearned for his touch again, but you didn’t dare look over at him because you were pulled back into reality now, much too sober. Likewise, you grabbed your beer and took a long chug.

“Bye, boys!” Shavonne waved the football players off as Kaye pulled away, a smirk on her face as she gave a wink to Jason. Though, Sabrina and her were quick to ask if you were okay, leaving you to smile and nod, wanting nothing more now than to get wasted and forget about everything.

You left it up to Kaye to head to your next destination, can of beer in hand, as you sipped on it and listened to your friends chat amongst each other. Like usual, you had found yourself staring off into the scenery, your mind far from the present and up in the clouds. 

Closing your eyes and listening to the radio, you tried to keep your mind from wandering. You focused on your breathing, or how the small bit of alcohol in you had started warming your cheeks. Soon you would be at the Emporium, hopefully able to score some more beer and spend the rest of the night actually having a good time.

This was the last time you would ever let words affect you this much, you promised yourself that.

After driving around for another ten minutes and being overcome with a frustrating amount of boredom, Kaye and Shavonne decided that the Emporium would have better luck. You had forgotten all about Angus being there.

The four of you found yourself standing outside the building while Kaye had a cigarette and the rest of you practiced shooting bottle caps with a snap. Trying to show Sabrina how to do it so it would hit your shoulder. There was a shared feeling of ennui in the air, even radiating out from the inside of the Emporium. Nearly the entire student body had been waiting for Pickford’s party the last month, his house the perfect host for a night of wild teens needing to find relief after a brutal school year.

And there was only so much driving you girls could do in a night and so much beer you could get your hands—you were running out of things to do.

You, especially, could use a party. Somewhere to drink up cups of alcohol and shrug off those nasty words that stuck with you, even after Shavonne berated you for letting it bother you. You were stronger than this, but with your heart confused on what it wanted, and your brain stuck on morals, you were vulnerable.

“This is stupid,” you groaned, tossing the bottle cap in your hand onto the concrete sidewalk and leaning back against the exterior of the building, “Should we go for another drive?”

“I’m sick of driving. Let’s go see if we could score a pool table.” Kaye said, dropping her cigarette to the ground and butting it out with the heel of her shoe.

“And maybe a few more beers,” Shavonne said with a bright smile, likely the only girl in your group that was optimistic about what the night would bring.

As you turned to make your way into the Emporium, none other than Angus Tully stepped out, a cigarette fit nicely between his lips. You looked at his clothing, a purple button up triple his size that was tucked nicely into some white bell-bottoms. The familiar fluttering with your stomach made its appearance again, and long gone were those thoughts of Benny—not when the boy you’d been falling in love with was standing right in front of you.

“Hey,” you grinned, walking over to him and pressing a hand against the wall, “Fancy seeing you here.”

You swore you noticed Angus’ eyes brighten when he saw you, smiling as he pulled the cigarette from between his lips and walked right next to you, followed closely by Wooderson, and surprisingly, your younger brother. Obviously, Kaye and Shavonne weren’t the only girls who invited a freshman. You watched with a smile as he ran past you, eager to see a familiar face in Sabrina.

“You nearly convinced me that I wouldn’t see you tonight,” Angus snickered, leaning against the wall and looking you up and down slowly and with intent, “So, you did end up having the time to finish drying your hair. You, uh, look nice.”

“Thanks, you too,” you breathed out through a giggle, your entire spirit lifting now that he was around, “Did you hear anything more about a beer bust? We’re getting bored.” You motioned a hand back to Kaye and Shavonne, who were standing behind you and focused mostly on Wooderson.

“Ask this man right here,” he smiled, pointing his thumb to the older blonde, who was smiling at you with heavy lidded eyes and a permanent lopsided grin. 

“Patience, darlin’, patience.” He hummed, smoking a near-finished joint in his hands, as he took a few steps away and returned the interest in Kaye and Shavonne.

“So, what have you been up to?” Angus asked, looking down at you as he held up the cigarette and a lighter, giving you the first drag if you so pleased. The gesture was small, but it made you so fucking giddy that you had to try to hide your dorky little smile.

“Mostly driving,” you said, putting the cigarette between your lips and lighting in, inhaling the smoke that burned into your lungs, “we ended up running into Kountze, Jason and Benny,” you said, noticing the way he straightened a bit at the mention of the boy you’d been linked with recently, “They were beating on a kid so hard, that one seriously won’t be sitting for weeks.” 

“Christ,” Angus chuckled, taking the cigarette you passed to him and inhaling the nicotine he’d been needing, “I feel bad for the freshman boys, you know? Not saying you girls don’t have it bad, but after today they’re all free. All those boys that went running will be hunted for the rest of summer.”

“Aw, did poor Angus get paddled as a freshman boy?” You teased him, seeing the way he empathized, finding it rather sweet.

“Fuck yeah, and it hurt like hell.” He laughed, “I was an idiot and went running on the last day of school. If I could go back and tell myself to suck it up and get paddled on the first day, I would’ve taken ten lickings like a champ.”

You watched Angus with a big smile, chewing absentmindedly on your bottom lip as you stayed attentive, thinking back and wondering what kind of boy he was like when he was young. 

“Well, thanks for not being the kind of guy to take this so seriously,” you said, “You’re a nice guy, Angus. Far nicer than those stupid pricks that yelled at me today,” you huffed, “Can’t even enjoy a beer in peace.”

“What happened?” Angus questioned, and you could feel his energy change, like he cared about you—like he was worried. 

You found yourself getting shameful about admitting it, though, your cheeks warming up against as you cleared your throat and shrugged, “It wasn’t anything serious.”

“Tell me,” he urged, a serious look on his face, “Who said something? Was it Benny?”

“What? No. It was actually directed at him,” you cleared the confusion, but it didn’t seem to help, Angus’ face contorted in uncertainty, “Jason was giving us some beers after Kountze let the kid go, and Benny and I were chatting then some dudes drove past, drunk as hell, and yelled about how they’d slept with me before Benny did. Or something along those lines, I don’t know, it was really fast, and they were just being douchebags trying to get under his skin. It was a complete lie, I haven’t slept with anyone except Benny–” you were poisoned with rambling, it seemed.

“Are you okay?” Angus interjected, his eyes softening as he noticed your discomfort over the situation. His compassion made you tense up, almost half-expecting him to focus less on the verbal attack that insinuated you were sleeping around, but instead he was worried about how you felt. 

“Yeah… I mean, it was pretty insulting, but I’m okay.” You nodded your head, feeling so incredibly small under Angus’ gaze, but safe.

“Some dudes are total pigs,” he huffed, giving you the cigarette that you obviously needed, “hopefully that’s the last time they bother you like that.”

“Thanks,” you said quietly, taking a few much-needed drags from the cigarette, “I won’t let it get to me next time.”

“Good,” Angus smiled, watching you with a look of awe and love on his face, but you couldn’t quite make that out. You were far too oblivious for your own good, “I bet Benny was happy to see you.”

And there it was. You knew it was too good to be true—a night where Angus would forget all about your own ‘relationship’. You were kind at least, keeping your lips tight about his own situation.

“I wouldn’t say he was necessarily any happier to see me than usual,” you chuckled, awkwardly dropping your gaze, “We just hang out from time to time. It’s nothing serious.”

“Are you being honest?” 

You looked up, meeting those brown eyes, “What do you mean?”

“Is it nothing serious?” He questioned you, making you feel like there was no one else around you as he fixated on those words. You grew tense, the first time being questioned so analytically by him. 

This would have been the perfect time to explain everything, to bring up your feelings for him, and to let him know that you’d call things off with Benny as long as he did the same with Elise. But you could never do things that easily, could you?

“Uh, no. Nothing serious.” Is all you said, shrugging. In the back of your mind, you remembered the way you had grabbed onto Benny’s hand, holding it for reassurance as he was silently there for you. To you, it was nothing serious. To him? Well, you couldn’t be so certain what his intentions were, so technically, you weren’t lying.

“That’s cool,” Angus replied, his eyes dropping as he continued smoking–his mind elsewhere, and you wondered if any of your words actually stuck in his mind. You followed his gaze, looking down at your chest, which was manipulated perfectly by the halter top.

A laugh bubbled up from your throat, “are you staring at my fucking tits?” 

“Huh?” Angus was caught off-guard, looking up at you, cheeks pink, “No, not at all,” he was adamant in his answer, exhaling smoke from deep in his lungs as his expression faltered sheepishly, “…yes.”

“Yeah, some dudes are pigs,” you teased, earning a smile and gentle shove against your shoulder from Angus.

Things were cut short, though, your eyes slowly moving past him when you saw two familiar figures walking up toward the doors of the Emporium, your stomach twisting into knots. Darla smiled at Wooderson, giving him a wink as they walked past, Elise, however, was staring daggers at both you and Angus. Whatever nice girl facade she’d managed to play these past few months had completely vanished, you saw her exactly for what she was.

You swallowed a lump down your throat, pulling your eyes away from Elise as she took a drag from her cigarette and walked inside the Emporium slowly, leaving you and Angus standing outside awkwardly. Neither of you dared to bring up the elephant in the room, you were instead waving goodbyes to Kaye and Shavonne as they went inside, following Elise and Darla.

Soon, you, Wooderson and Angus were standing outside, your brother having went in with Sabrina to mingle with their peers. It wasn’t so awkward anymore, having taken up small conversation with the older man.

“So, you lived in California, right?” Wooderson asked you, putting a joint between his lips and inhaling.

“Yeah, Santa Barbara,” you replied, staying close to Angus’ side. You didn’t know Wooderson all that well, but you’d met him twice before today—all you knew was that he was an older guy who loved younger girls. And, he bought you beer once, so you owed him.

“California dreamin’,” he smiled, “bet you miss it, huh?”

“Every day,” you sighed, closing your eyes for a moment and able to instantly take yourself back to the coastal beaches.

You were rudely interrupted by the sound of squealing tires against pavement, opening your eyes to see Teddy’s car come speeding into the parking lot and stopping right in front. You met Benny’s gaze immediately as he stepped out of the car to let Jason out of the back. Though, you were far more perceptive than usual, catching the way his eyes flickered between you and Angus, unimpressed.

“Hey, Slater, you fuckin’ hippie! Give me some drugs, man!” Kountze called from the driver’s seat, his voice making a shiver run down your spine. Even though he’d kind of stood up for you earlier, he was still your least favourite human on this planet.

Slater had been sitting sideways outside of Pickford’s car, the two of them sharing a joint without a care in the world. Until Teddy showed up.

“Get some from your mother, man,” Slater returned wittily. You could see the irritation on his face, it was hard to get a guy like Slater upset.

“We just bagged your mother,” Kountze laughed loudly as Benny got back in the car. He hadn’t acknowledged you other than the lingering stare, and you knew that you’d be confronted by him sooner or later–you tried to ignore it.

“Okay. Fuck you, dick head,” Slater said, waving his hand at them as Kountze pulled out of the parking lot, the smell of rubber on pavement making you nauseous.

“Man of the woods, what’s going on? I haven’t seen you in so long.” Jason grinned, happy to see Wooderson as he ran up to him, greeting him in a way that made you crinkle your nose at their vulgar behaviour.

As you watched the two men catching up, you almost didn’t notice the way Angus’ hand had moved to the small of your back. You snapped your head to look at him, a knowing smile on his face as he looked past you and over to Wooderson. You chewed on the inside of your cheek and leaned into his touch, letting out a content sigh. This felt much too good, like this was normal. You wanted him to be your normal.

“I think I might head inside,” you murmured to Angus, looking up at him and ignoring Wooderson’s rant about younger women—loving the way he got older, and how they stayed the same age. You wished Kaye was outside to hear this, she would’ve jumped at the opportunity to argue with Wooderson about his predatory behaviour, but he would've taken it with stride.

“You sure?” Angus asked, keeping his voice low as he looked over you. 

Though, just as you were about to nod to his words, Pickford spoke up, “You guys wanna’ go for a spin?”

“Fuck yeah, shotgun!” Jason quickly snapped his fingers, grinning as he pointed at Wooderson and Angus, “Woods?”

“I’m here, man.” Wooderson replied, content with sticking around the Emporium, likely now that the girls were inside and ready to be flirted with. If you weren’t so disgusted in the twenty-year old’s behaviour, you likely would’ve been right with them and hoping he’d give you the light of day.

This was the best opportunity to usher a quick goodbye to Angus before disappearing and finding your friends, but you were looped right into the action.

“You want to come along?” Angus pulled himself from you, stepping toward the car and grinning, trying his best to entice.

You let out another long exhale, trying to act cool, but you were crazy excited. You hadn’t wanted to go inside to get away from Angus, rather, you were getting bored with standing around and doing a whole lot of nothing. Spending time with Angus? Yeah, you’d say yes to that any day.

“Yeah, why not?” You agreed, stepping alongside Angus and walking toward the car.

“Listen, I’m gonna’ give you shotgun,” Slater said to Jason as he got out of the passenger seat and motioned for the blonde boy to take his spot, eyes so small that you could barely see them. You could tell how red they were, though, “But I want you to know it’s only ‘cause I’m goin’ inside. You keep that in mind.”

Jason smirked, “Okay. Got it, Slate.” 

As they spoke, you slipped into the back of the car, sliding into the seat behind Pickford, with Angus settling in right next to you.

You weren’t sure what to expect, this being your first time hanging out with this group of boys, but you were certain that it wouldn’t be short of entertaining. You settled into your seat, sighing quietly as you felt Angus’ hand rest on your thigh, wishing there was no fabric blocking his touch from your bare thigh.

As you felt your heart doing flips in your chest, eyes locked in Angus’ brown ones, you wondered if he felt the same.

[spatialwave]

𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝. 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒.

"𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑”

pairing: angus tully x fem!reader | benny o’donnell x fem!reader word count: 4.9k summary: with the party in full swing, you find yourself trapped between an unstoppable force (angus) and an immovable object (benny). it’s a love triangle you’d never asked to happen, but when you lacked important decision making, you could only get away with so much. while drunk, high, and full of emotions, you’re hit with a question — who will you choose? warnings/tags: mdni! slight mostly censored smut, kissing/making out, sexual touching, angst, hurt/comfort, underage drinking and drug use, jealousy, love triangle, name-calling, emetophobia/reader v*mits. notes: only one more chapter!!! :')

<- chapter three. | chapter five. ���

This was your first time at the moonlight tower, a large, slightly wooded area that was lit up by the floodlights fixated on the large structure. By the time you arrived, the alcohol and weed in your system had been diminished to minimal effects––you were not here to be sober, you knew that much. 

“Where’s the kegs?” You were the first to ask as the vehicle rolled to a stop amongst the sea of others, some still sitting in their seats, gossiping and toking. Sliding out of the back, you landed on the grass with a soft huff as you looked around. You had never seen this many people at a party since you moved here, your lips curved up into a smile as it reminded you of the wild nights back home in California. A bonfire on a beach with dozens of drunk teens, basking in the bright moonlight and fresh smell of the ocean… oh, how you wished you could show Kaye and Shavonne the beauty of it.

“I see one,” Kaye pointed ahead as you girls stayed together in a flock, your eyes drifting to the side as you walked past two boys smoking from a bong, one of them nearly coughing up a lung.

“I should've stolen beer from Teddy when I had a chance,” you murmured, “You think Wooderson got enough kegs for everyone here?”

“You’d be surprised at his ability to know exactly what he needs,” Shavonne grinned, showing her pearly whites as spun on her heels to walk backward toward the party, “I think you have a drinking problem, Missy.”

“Me?” You gawked, pointing your finger against your chest with a quizzical look plastered on your face.

“Either that, or you’re trying to get drunk so you can avoid dealing with the consequences of your actions,” she chewed on your bottom lip, grinning when you couldn’t formulate a response, “Bingo! I knew it.”

“You can’t lead them both on, you know,” Kaye spoke from your left, another cigarette already lit and resting between her fingers, “and this is coming from someone who doesn’t give a shit about men and their feelings, but Angus,” she murmured, brows furrowing together, “he’s a really nice guy. Nicer than Benny could ever be.”

Her words made your stomach coil uncomfortably, cringing at the mere idea of finding Benny and telling him it's over. It wouldn’t bother you so much, sure, you’d miss his touch and comfort that was a near-addiction… but it would be hopefully replaced. You weren’t certain that he would feel the same.

“No, no, no,” you shook your head, “No lecturing me tonight! I’m allowed to make dumb decisions, and my first dumb decision is pounding back as many beers as I can hold.”

“Oh, god,” Kaye grinned, “I’m not taking care of you at the end of the night.”

You could only hold two beers, both had settled nicely in your stomach, having chugged them within 5 minutes of each other, and you were delighted to feel that familiar buzzing in your system that kept a smile settled on your lips. Sabrina had wandered off somewhere, likely to find Tony, while Shavonne just finished excusing herself so she could spend some time with Elise and Darla––much to your dismay. You could already imagine the gossip that would spread.

Clutching your third drink now, you and Kaye had settled against a large tree, standing side by side and watching as people laughed together, some stumbling after drinking far too much too quickly. Normally, you’d be right in there, dancing to whatever song was playing and shooting back beers like there were no tomorrow, but even two beers couldn’t settle your racing mind.

“What if I piss off Benny?” You turned your head to look at your brunette friend, meeting her darkened gaze as she finished off her second beer, “I mean, maybe I’m overthinking it, but it feels like he’s into this way more than I am.”

Kaye inhaled as she crossed her arms over her chest, “Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Is it going to be harsh?” You asked, crinkling your nose as she nodded, “Go on.”

“You need to break it off as soon as possible because I may not know Benny on a personal level, hell, I don’t like him on a personal level, but he’s been starting to look at you with these eyes that scream ‘I am in love’. Or at least infatuation, I think love is too strong,” her words making your eyes widen, “you need to pull the brakes on it before you go starting something with Angus. Neither of those boys deserve that.”

“That’s not fair, Angus is still dating Elise,” you pouted, lifting a hand up to feel your cheeks that were beginning to feel uncomfortably hot, “Those are double standards.”

Kaye smiled, reaching a hand to your other cheek and giving it a few gentle pats, “Life sucks, doesn’t it? It’s a man’s world.”

“Is that supposed to be comforting?” You blinked a few times.

“Not at all.”

Both you and Kaye shared a good laugh as you both grew tipsier as the night went on, practically attached at the hip as you wandered around to find another keg. Four beers was a bit much, you knew this the moment that you got halfway into the red solo cup because you felt a pain in your stomach, and you did not want those cheese fries coming back up.

You weren’t drunk yet. Very buzzed? Absolutely.

“I’m going to go back to the car, I forgot my cigarettes,” Kaye said into your ear before disappearing into the sea of people. You stayed put for a few seconds, thinning your lips as you held your cup and looked over the partygoers, but you were on the brink of being downright drunk, so of course you couldn’t remain still.

Tossing your unfinished beer over your shoulder, you decided to venture around and see who you might run into. Confidence coursed through your veins as you stopped to talk to people here and there, mostly classmates, sometimes a few random people that seemed either too young or old to be seniors. 

You couldn’t help that you were a chatty drunk. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Benny’s voice was hot against your ear as you felt arms wrap around you from behind, lifting you up until your feet were off the ground.

“Benny!” You laughed giddily, kicking your legs until he placed you back on solid ground. You spun around quickly, looking up at him as his arms remained around you, hands settling on the curves of your hips, “You’re drunk,” you told him, lifting a hand to playfully tug at the ball cap he wore.

“You’re the drunk one,” he chuckled, taking a few steps back with you as he settled against the side of his truck, your body still completely wrapped by his strong arms. 

“Hardly drunk,” you murmured, chewing on your bottom lip as you stared up at the blue-eyed boy, the one you’d spent many nights with. The one who knew your body better than anyone else.

It was a nasty predicament to be caught in, though, it had a rather easy answer. It just so happened that you were too weak to say what needed to be done, even drunk. You couldn’t stand there in his arms and even begin to imagine the look of disappointment on his face when you tell him you need to end things, not tonight. Not on your first night of freedom after junior year.

Fuck, this really wasn’t fair, was it?

“Did you wanna’ come to my place later?” Benny asked, his hands migrating further down your back until they were low enough to grab at your ass, a cheeky smile on his lips.

You let out a shaky exhalation, lips twitching––just do it. 

“Maybe,” you smiled, ignoring the gnawing reality in the back of your head and displacing it until you were sober again, “What’re you going to do? Try steal me away from the party?”

You really did have a problem. Kaye was right, you fed off of male attention, and Benny just so happened to be the one showering you in it.

“Yeah, I’d steal you,” Benny winked.

Only a few minutes later, the two of you were in the cab of his truck, him sitting in the middle with you straddling his hips as you sat over his lap. You’d been in this position dozens of times, his hands on your hips as your lips moved together desperately, tasting beer, cigarettes and mint gum. Your arms were always snug around his neck, fingers brushing into his tight curls after knocking the hat from his head.

Neither of you seemed to care that anyone could watch if they wanted, hell, Melvin and a couple of girls were sitting in the truck bed laughing and drinking, completely unbothered by the horny teens that were seconds away from undressing each other.

“Fuck, Benny,” you whimpered against his lips, tilting your head back so he was forced to pepper kisses along your jaw and neck, sending shivers down your spine.

The world spun as you stared up at the ceiling of the truck’s cab, eyelashes fluttering as you felt him suck a mark just underneath your ear and too dazed to try to push him away or berate him for doing so. You just kept your hands in his curls and your chest pushed out as his lips trail down your collarbone and around the straps of the floral halter top you wore.

Both of you had no intention of stopping, the beers in your system removing any and all inhibitions. Gone were the thoughts of Angus, and Kaye’s advice––all you knew was that right now, you had someone willing and eager to give you the attention you desired. It wasn’t so bad to know what you wanted.

Benny’s hands trailed up your bare sides, fingers pressing underneath the tight fabric of the top that clung to your skin as his lips moved down your exposed cleavage. You could feel your body growing warm, your hips twitching over his lap as you parted your lips to let out a quiet sound.

“You’re so perfect,” you heard him say under his breath against your skin and somehow, those words managed to stir a sour feeling in your stomach. Back came Kaye’s voice about how Benny was infatuated with you, and only now did you understand what she meant.

The poor guy wanted you more than just nights like these, he worshipped the very ground you walked on. He wanted to call you his.

Your hands dropped from his hair and rested on his shoulders as a hand moved to the back of your neck, fingers teasing at the knot that kept your halter top covering your chest. As you swallowed a lump down your throat, you tilted your chin down to meet Benny’s gaze, seeing the way his blue eyes sparkled.

This was bad.

“Woah!” The sound of a voice startled you both, Benny’s hand quickly dropping as you both looked over and saw Mel standing at the driver’s door with the window rolled down, “Didn’t know you guys were putting on a show for us,” he grinned from ear to ear, wagging his eyebrows at you.

You felt like you were going to be sick as you slid off of Benny’s lap and settled into the passenger seat, looking out the front window as the boys chatted. You didn’t quite make out what they were saying, but something about a keg needing to be tapped.

“Hey,” Benny caught your attention, your eyes flickering to him as he put his hat back on, “I’ll be back in a bit. You’ll stay here?” Your mouth had gone dry and all you could do was smile and nod, feeling your heart tighten as a smile spread across his lips while he left.

You were silent for a minute, blinking a few times as you looked ahead at the tree Benny had parked toward. 

“Nope, no,” you breathed to yourself, turning to the door and quickly opening the handle, “I’m not staying. Fuck this. This is stupid,” you slurred. 

Without looking back, you slammed the truck door shut and walked as far away from Benny’s truck as you could, eyes staring straight ahead while putting one foot in front of the other and focusing on not tumbling to the ground. The now four beers inside your stomach had settled fine, but left you teetering on the edge of being downright drunk, and it was too early to be plastered just yet.

Your breath quickened as panic coursed through your veins, leaving you on the brink of hyperventilation with thoughts swirling through your mind angrily. Kaye’s voice ringing in your ears, the look of love on Benny’s face… Angus’ smile. You curved your path around a tree in hopes you would find a place to collapse and cry, but you ran right into someone’s chest.

“Fuck, sorry,” you groaned, reaching forward to grab onto the fabric of their clothing so you didn’t fall back. As your eyes flickered up, you were greeted with a small smile from Angus Tully.

Maybe things really did work out for a reason.

“Don’t apologize,” he smiled, eyes a bit reddened, and you could tell that he had been indulging in smoking with Slater, “Was hoping that I’d run into you sooner than later.”

His words made your stomach twist again and all you wanted was to find your friends, maybe find a quiet place to empty the contents of your stomach and end the night with cold water and more greasy food to put you to sleep. You had only been at the party for less than an hour, and you were content with going home.

Being wrapped up in drama wasn’t your cup of tea, but you let yourself dig deep into this one.

“You okay?” His voice vibrated through your spinning head as you stared up at him with heavy eyes. You could make out the sincere concern he had, it made your cheeks warm to think he was worried about you.

“I’m fine,” you replied, forcing a smile on your lips as you took a step back, “Just lost Shavonne and Kaye, so I’ve been wandering around looking for something to do.” 

Lies.

“Why don’t you come climb the moon tower, man?” Slater’s voice had startled you, “... Maybe not, you seem jumpy, man.”

“I’m not jumpy,” you cleared your throat, smiling shyly as you looked over to the long-haired stoner who shoved his hands into his pockets and made way for the tower beyond the trees. Pickford was following closely behind.

“Come on,” Angus stepped forward and nudged you playfully, “It’s not like you have anything better to do.”

You watched with curious eyes as he stepped past you and toward the tower, leaving you in your spot, feeling small and hopeless. It took a few seconds to calm yourself before you made the executive decision to force your brain to stop thinking and just start saying ‘yes’ to whatever came your way. 

All goddamn day you waited so patiently for a night of partying and here you were wishing you could just sit down and cry. Not tonight. This was your night.

“Why do they call it the moon tower?” You asked once you’d reached the large structure, watching closely as Slater and Pickford had started climbing up the ladder situated in the middle of the metal bars. Both of them had moved to the sides to clear the way of the ladder, hanging onto the various poles and looking out toward the sea of teens, then down at you as you followed Angus.

“Uh,” Angus breathed out, glancing down at you for a moment to watch you start climbing up the ladder before he continued going up, past the two stoners, “I guess they put it up here whenever they were building the power plant. It’s actually a good idea, you got a full moon out here every day of the year, you know?”

You crinkled your eyebrows together as you adjusted your hands each time you stepped up the ladder, feeling hot underneath the bright lights and trying your best not to think about how high you were with each passing second. Angus moved up the ladder and right past the two boys hanging around with ease like a pair of monkeys in a tree, grinning from ear to ear as their eyes watched your meticulous movements.

“Yeah, but nothing’s ever been repaired, so this whole place could fall down at any time,” Pickford spoke, eyes full of mischief, “So you better watch your step.”

Rolling your eyes, you moved closer to them—gasping when Pickford fell back, pretending of course and leaving your stomach churning. You muttered an insult at him as you inhaled a sharp breath, reaching the same height as them both as Angus continued his trek to the top.

“This place used to be off-limits, man,” Slater said to you, hugging onto the pole with heavy, red eyes watching your every movement, “‘cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smackin’ his head on every beam, man.”

Your face crinkled in disgust, pausing your movements when you came eye-to-eye with Slater, “Nice try, asshole, I’m not easily persuaded by urban legends.”

The long-hair teen chuckled as Pickford began scaling the moon tower from the outside, “I’m being serious, man, you think I’d lie to you?” He asked, fighting back more laughter, “The autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?”

“Four, and I’m doing just fine,” you rolled your eyes, smirking as you pulled yourself past him, closing in on Angus who had paused to wait for you. Your eyes connected in an intense stare and a blush coated your cheeks, the sound of Slater’s voice warning you muffled and inaudible.

“Shut up, Slater,” Angus grinned, shooting you a confident wink before continuing his trek. God, he really knew how to work you.

By the time you’d reached the top, you were finally feeling so tipsy that your fear of heights had completely vanished. You looked in awe at the horizon of lights that came from the small town—it was peaceful up here, away from everyone else. It felt like this came straight out of a movie scene.

“You show this tower to all your girls?” You asked Angus, sitting on the platform with him and letting your legs dangle off the edge while resting against the metal that fenced you in. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “so, get in line. I have a waitlist.”

“Jerk,” you giggled, shoving his side with your elbow as you two sat side-by-side. 

A joint had been passed around again, coming to you three times before you were pleasantly high and staring off into the void of the night sky. It was a new moon, so the moon tower was the only light—it was beautiful.

Slater had started up a conversation about how many people were fucking then and there, pointing at the lights from town. You just sat there and listened in to the banter between him and Pickford, finding the boys comforting after a moment of panic.

“You sure you’re okay?” Angus whispered to you, his big brown eyes settling on you and surrounding you with comfort, “you seem… off.”

“Off?” You questioned, acting oblivious, “I’m fine. Just… tipsy. Stomach hurts a little, I guess.”

He didn’t believe you because you hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes as you spoke, chewing on your bottom lip to force back any lingering emotion. It’s not like you were going to sit here and talk to him like Kaye, spilling your guts about your insecurities with the situation you had going with both him and Benny. That was a can of worms you wanted to keep shut.

The two of you sat in silence, your chin resting against the metal bar in front of you that kept you steady and from falling off the tower.

“You’re a bad liar,” Angus huffed, your eyes drifting back to him to see his jaw clenching. Was he upset?

“Not lying.”

“Then why is your face all red?” He questioned, and you grew defensive.

“Why are you being so nosy? It’s none of your business.” You spat back, anger filling your body. This was not where things needed to go.

“Is it about Benny?” He tilted his head with a raised eyebrow, eyes piercing into yours. You felt judged by him for the first time ever, “I don’t know what you get out of sleeping with him, like his own personal little… plaything.”

“Can you stop?” You snapped loudly, pulling your eyes away and feeling tears form. The four beers really were too much, three would’ve been just fine, “I don’t need your fucking judgment, Angus, that’s a new low.”

The double standards were there again.

“Not judging,” he mumbled, “just think you can do better, is all.”

“And what? What’s better for me? Tell me. Are you better? A boy who just insinuated I’m some… slut!” You shifted in your spot, sitting sideways so you could look at him with fire burning in your eyes. You hadn’t even noticed that Slater and Pickford were descending the moon tower and giving you both space.

Angus stared at you dumbfounded at your question as he dealt with the consequences of his poor wording, lips slightly parted, but he wouldn’t say it. You wished he would, confirming the feelings out loud that you two had been dancing around for weeks.

The silence was thick and nauseating. 

“That’s what I thought,” your voice cracked, “you’re a fucking asshole, Angus. I hope you know that and live with it for the rest of your miserable life.”

Without allowing him the space to say anything, you scrambled to your feet and got the hell out of there. You could hear him calling down for you as you carefully made way down the ladder, shoving past Slater and Pickford, who had been waiting at the bottom. Tears stung your eyes and dripped down your cheeks as you felt the world’s weight on your shoulders.

Kaye was right. This was a man’s world and there was nothing you could do to change that, the cards were never in your favour.

“Fuck,” you whimpered as you walked through the wooded area in hopes to find your friends, or maybe a bottle of water at the very least. A familiar feeling hit the back of your throat as your mouth pooled with spit—shit.

You made it to a bush just in time, bending over and letting nature run its course as you emptied your stomach with a few heavy gags. If it weren’t for that damned Top Notch trip before heading to the Emporium, you’d be fine.

The night was ruined. You eventually found water from a very generous sophomore who took pity on you, nearly guzzling the entire water back and swishing it around your mouth until you couldn’t taste the acid on your tongue anymore. With embarrassment filling you, you decided that it would best if you just took a break from everything going on.

The world hadn’t felt like it was spinning anymore, but you weren’t very coordinated with your movements. The second the music and laughter sounded distant enough, you fell back onto the grass and looked up at the night sky. The moon tower's distant light made it hard to see the stars.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been laying there, ten minutes or an hour? You just stayed there, fingers splayed in the grass and inhaling the scent of nature. Maybe you’d just close your eyes and sleep there, it’s not like there were any wild animals around… that you knew of.

“Jesus Christ,” a voice interrupted your isolation. Angus’s voice. He sounded worried.

You pouted, throwing both hands over your face, “what do you want?”

“I thought you left, or something happened to you,” his voice was full of disappointment, “you can’t just run off like that when you’re drunk.”

You listened as his footsteps closed the distance between you both, a quiet grunt coming from him as he sat in the grass next to you and laid back.

“I can do what I want,” you mumbled, keeping your eyes covered, as if it would somehow make him leave.

A heavy sigh left his lips, “I’m sorry.”

“Is that all?”

“Look, you can stay mad at me, I get it. I was a total fucking dick and took it too far,” he admitted casually, eyes looking up at the void above you both, “...I’m jealous of Benny.”

That was new. 

Slowly, you dropped your hands from your face, head turning to the right so you could look at Angus. His face was just visible, the moon tower’s light barely reaching beyond the trees that covered you both.

“Really?” Your voice was soft, just barely above a whisper.

Angus looked at you, too, his eyes so soft and sincere. It was impossible not to fall in love with him.

“Please don’t make me say it again,” his lips cracked into a smile that was contagious.

You bit the inside of your cheeks as your stomach swirled furiously with a complicated mess of feelings. Love, anger, sadness—arousal.

“It still sucked,” you reminded him, shifting onto your side with your arms bent and acting as a pillow. You weren’t sure you’d ever get that line out of your head, Angus referring to you as nothing but a toy for Benny. Sure, the alcohol and weed hadn’t helped his filter, but that was a deep wound and would need some time to heal.

“I’m really fucking sorry,” Angus whispered, meeting you halfway and rolling to face you, “Seriously. I fucked up.”

“Yeah you did,” you thinned your lips, “but I think I could learn to forgive you.”

That caused a smile to spread on the boy’s lips, “I’ll work really hard. Like, overtime hard.”

“You’re stupid,” you laughed, the air between you lighter and digestible.

“I’m going to break up with Elise.”

Seriously, what the fuck?

“I…” you stuttered, blinking a few times, “really?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his hand reaching forward and resting on your red cheek, “I like someone else.”

His touch made your heart flutter, having been waiting for this intimacy for weeks. Dreaming about it each night as you manifested—praying to god that it would work. You were so desperately in love with Angus Tully that it was laughable.

“Who?” You asked coyly, smiling small and sheepish.

“The prettiest girl at this party,” he smiled, “just so happens to be laying in the grass somewhere with a real troublesome boy. I heard he’s a dick.”

“Oh, yeah,” you smiled, “I know who you’re talking about. He is a real dick. The worst, actually.”

Both of you shared a small laugh, smiles reaching your eyes as the world finally felt calm, and you could simply bask in each other’s presence. It wasn’t enough, of course.

“Can I kiss you?” Angus whispered, almost like his voice would disrupt this moment.

“I just, like… threw up,” you crinkled your nose.

“I don’t care.”

Within a matter of seconds, you had been pulled until you were atop him, knees on either sides of his hips and straddling. Lips met in a furious, long-awaited kiss, and you saw stars.

Large hands gripped your hips and held you steady, a tongue flicking against your lips until you got the message and invited him in. It was sloppy, messy and wet, but neither of you cared if it wasn’t perfect. It was like years of pent-up stress and pining finally released, and neither of you would be coming out of this unscathed.

“Angus,” you whined into his mouth, hands pressed against his bare chest where the buttons of his top had undone. Nails scratched the surface of his skin, leaving red marks in their wake, as your body was heavy atop his.

He fed off your mewls of pleasure, lapping up your sounds with his tongue as you both moaned filthy, warm breath into each other’s mouths. You were both desperate for each other’s touch, hands wild as they travelled each other’s bodies.

Your hands lifted to his curls, his unbuttoning your jeans until he could sneak a hand inside.

Cries of pleasure fell from your lips as his fingers pushed into your underwear, leaving you a shaking, shuddering mess that could barely stay upright.

“Angus. I need you,” you whimpered into his ear, lips and hot breath brushing against the shell of his ear. You could feel the bulge in his pants, blocked only by your clothes and the fingers that he’d slipped inside you to coax out your beautiful sounds.

It was raw, passionate and heady. The two of you attacking each other with quick hands until your clothes were either pulled off completely or barely hanging onto your body.

Moans spilled from your lips as you rolled your hips together in slow, sensual movements—crying out into the void as you whimpered his name over and over until you were both met with a pleasant release.

Angus Tully would be the death of you.