#and regular access to the backyard where she can run and use the bathroom

[altruistic-meme]

i've decided that living is expensive

[neshabeingchildish]

Determined: A Chasper Fic Conclusion

Second half of the chapter is extremely kid heavy. I feel like those actually reading this know how I am about kids and writing kids into these things. Alas, we’ve reached the end of this journey. Thank you to all those who stuck with it. I know this fandom isn’t a long story fandom and I apologize that I keep doing this to y’all. But, finally, the end is here.

Happy, Healthy Endings for All

Henry pulled up to the gate of “the estate” and when he was going to push the button on the little box, heard a beep and a voice say, “Henry Hart, Access Granted,” before he had the chance to do so. 

“They’ve most likely programmed it to scan your car… or your DNA,” Piper commented with a shrug of her shoulders. 

“How rich are our friends these days?” Henry wondered.

“Well, Charlotte is a genius who works with tech and DNA stuff, so she might have done it herself, but if not, Jasper is literally the highest paid executive coach in the country as of last year,” Piper said. 

“I honestly thought for a while that Jasper made that career up and I still don’t even know what that means!” Henry chimed. 

“He tells big bosses how to be better bosses and writes books to help little bosses become big bosses, if they have enough money to do so.”

“Yeah, I don’t understand HOW, either. Like… Who looked at Jasper and decided that he knew this stuff? Is he good at it, or just one of those people who got lucky and gets paid a lot?”

“The companies that he helps have better stats after he’s done helping them reevaluate their model. He’s gonna get one of those Netflix deals, I think. To get his own show where he basically goes in there and you see a few of his projects. He writes books, does speaking engagements, invests his money, and is kind of even helping Charlotte to try to branch out on her own. He just… is good at what he does. But, I mean… Jasper’s kind of been this way. Remember whenever he was doing his vlog and podcast and he’d get all these places and fans sending him stuff? He has a knack for smoothing people over. I think if somebody is confident enough, people are willing to at least hear them out and when he got his foot in the door that way, he owned it.”

“Are you… giving Jasper compliments?”

“No. I’m telling you nice things about Jasper. Did you ever see his “How to be a Good Man to a Difficult Woman” series on his channel? He’s got some very good life skills, when he takes the time to think about it and not just blurts stuff out.”

“Wait. He had a…” He stopped speaking whenever he got closer to the house and the yard, which had a very enormous playground, off to the side like… almost like a park and a huge garden on the other side, with like… what his mind could only seem to think of as a “tiny neighborhood” beside them. “Did this come with the house?” Henry wondered.

“Nope. Jasper had it commissioned. Sat down with the kids and got their ideas, worked on some designs, spoke with his architect, and voila.”

“Why are there so many little houses here when the big house is huge?” 

“That you’ll have to ask them.”

.

Jasper was giving directions to the crew that he had working on this event, which Henry could tell were frat boys who probably knew him as an alumnus and wanted to make good with him. He could hardly believe that his Craig used to be one of those guys. He’d be meeting them later on, because he had some work emergency and insisted that Henry go on without him.

Whenever the Hart siblings walked up, Jasper dismissed the crew and came to hug them. “Hey! Glad you two could actually make it! I think this is your first time coming to the estate at all, so what do you think, finally seeing it in person?” (That was more to Henry, because Piper saw it before, even if it was only in the beginning.)

“What is this property, Dude?” Henry asked, marvelling around.

Jasper smiled proudly, “Well, the site where Charlotte will be opening her center after her hospital fellowship is in this area, so I wanted to make sure that we had a house near here. I can work from anywhere. Still unsure if we want to fully transition out of the old house, since so much of the kids’ memories are there, and Char’s still got a few years before she’ll even be opening the practice, but they’re all still young enough where you set up enough fun stuff and they don’t even know what their previous memories were. I don’t really want to rent it out and have anybody mess up any of the sentimental stuff, but we’ll probably have it for AirBNB for a while or something. Haven’t decided.” 

“What are all these little houses, Dude?” Henry asked, pointing at a few.

“Oh, that’s Jazz’s treehouse, up in the tree, and Amber’s dollhouse, Ruby’s funhouse and the baby playhouse for the new baby. It’s like a little kiddo community for them, and all of them have their dream playground in the community “backyard.” On the other side is Charlotte’s she shed, which is one of my birthday gifts to her…”

“It’s like… the size of a regular house,” Henry pointed out. 

“We’re on our fourth kid. Locking herself in the bathroom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, even in a house as big as our last one, or even as big as the new house,” he said, so casually, that it almost made sense to Henry for them to have a whole other goddamn house a few feet away from their ridiculously huge house! “And her garden is like her front yard, then there’s the three dog houses. The kids want a puppy, so we’ll be getting another one, and already are making room for them. The Kiddo community and the Doggo community right across the way from each other. Charlotte’s she shed and her home lab on either side of the big house.” He was pointing at everything. “Took YEARS to get it just perfect and I figured since the timeline was so close, that instead of doing the whole housewarming thing that we’ve done in the past that we’d just throw Charlotte’s 30th Birthday party here and get showing off the property and showering her in love all over with in one event. Plus, Diamond is coming ANY day now, so by the time we’ve got them coming home, there won’t be time for socializing between getting them nursed, Char’s fellowship, getting doctors and scientists and stuff for the clinic, lab, and the spaces in the center, and…” he shrugged. Henry noted that Jasper looked the happiest that he had ever seen him. Like, everything in his life was perfect. He hoped Charlotte was feeling the same. He had been super busy at work. Springtime was very hectic for weddings and his busiest summer was right around the corner. Plus, he had a man now, and was still a Swellview hero.

“So, you decided on Diamond, huh?” Piper asked. “Just keeping the whole crystals/stones thing going?” 

“After Jasper, who was of course just named for me, we went with birthstones. Wanted to have their names be closer connected to Jasper’s than ours or something else. Amber was better than Citrine or Topaz…” 

“Those are mine,” Henry said proudly to Piper. “November.”

Piper rolled her eyes. Jasper hadn’t stopped, “Ruby is my fellow Leo, and even though that’s typically considered a girl’s name, Ruby is thought of as King of gems, so we rationalized that it was  gender neutral and that if it wasn’t, we’d just have someone with a name that was as rare as the gem itself… you know, if they turned out to be a boy.”

“Ruby is actually a turning out to be a nuisance. They’re my favorite of all of your bad ass kids,” Piper said.

Instead of arguing that they weren’t bad kids (They weren’t, just very free kids). “I call them “Rascal,” Jasper said. “I don’t understand how they get into everything that they get into at 1. Jazz and Amber Reign at least waited until they were in the terrible 2s to begin their shenanigans. I think that they’re gonna be a genius, like Char. She was doing a lot at 1 too, I’m told...” 

Almost as if on cue, they heard Charlotte yelling, “Andro! Ruby Andromeda Dunlop!” the three looked up to see a barely walking 1 year old running quite haphazardly, holding something that appeared to be a food item tightly in their grip, laughing all the way, with a very pregnant mother chasing after them, running as haphazardly with all of that belly to lug around. 

Piper and Henry both cackled at the sight, but Jasper darted over and snatched up the baby and took the food from them. Charlotte caught up, caught her breath and explained, “I swear, I put it down for a split second to adjust my nursing pad and they grabbed it and ran!” Breathing still a little winded, she said, “Hey, Henry. Piper,” and retrieved her Danish. “I know that the party hasn’t started, but somebody made me miss breakfast,” she said pointing at Ruby. Piper reached for the baby and they went to her willingly. “And they go to Piper before they come to me… The person with the titty milk!”

“Because, I influence them to be the most them that they can be.”

“You can have them, at this rate,” Charlotte said. 

Jasper laughed, “She didn’t mean that. She can’t legally give them away. They’re half mine.”

“Where’s their bling?” Charlotte wondered, finishing off her pastry. “They’re family. They’ll need it for the family photo shoot, not that it’ll be very elegant, considering that Dunlop children are magnets for calamity.”

“It’s covered, Babe. Go sit down. You look like you’ve been through hell.” She frowned. “Beautiful, though!”

“Shut up,” she muttered, waddling back to where her seat was. 

The Dunlops were dressed in all white and diamonds (or you know, knock off crystals for the kids) for Charlotte’s 30th Birthday Diamond Ball. 

Jazz had selected to wear “whatever Daddy is wearing,” so they had a smaller version of his white, suit with opaque floral embroidery and crystal embellishments. They also already had their pants rolled up to the knees and had taken their mass of curls out of the neat braided bun that Charlotte had painstakingly put it into this morning. Fortunately, she’d had the foresight to make sure that they did the immediate family photo shoot before everything else. Charlotte noticed on the way back to her seat that Jazz had also taken their shoes and socks off. They were literally untamed before the party even began. She smiled and waved at them and they waved back, “Hey, Mommy! You look like a queen!”

“If you’re not gonna wear your fancy shoes, at least throw on your sneakers so you don’t hurt your feet on something!” Charlotte called back.

“I’ve got some in the treehouse!” They rushed to the tree, electing to climb the rope, instead of the ladder to retrieve sneakers. 

“You raised them to be independent,” Charlotte said. “Carefree Black child. Literally carefree. They don’t care ‘bout nothing.” 

At least Amber was still put together. They had wanted to wear a princess gown. “It’s a ball! I gotta wear a princess gown!” They insisted. They only had Disney ones in their collection and they needed white, so Charlotte asked them what gown they wanted a white version of. “All of them.”

“You can only wear one to Mommy’s birthday party, though.”

“What about Daddy’s birthday?”

“Daddy’s gonna have a grown man friends party for his birthday. We’re not gonna go to that. Maybe just have some cake at home earlier that day, and sure, you can have a gown for that, if you want.”

“What about my birthday?”

“Sure. For your birthday, you can definitely wear a white gown, but which one do you want for Mommy’s party?”

Amber laughed and placed a hand on Charlotte’s hand, like a little adult. “No, Mommy. For my birthday, I need all the gowns. White. Also… all of them, in yellow.” 

Charlotte smiled and said through her teeth, “Okay. Of course, it’s your birthday and Daddy has literally never told any of you ‘no,’ so I’m sure that we’ll be fulfilling that order. Now, you wanna tell Mommy what white gown you’ll wear to her ball?”

“Hmmm. Well, I think Tiana’s, but white. And I need to add a bustle, so I can dance with a prince, or Daddy if there’s only commoners.”

“Where did you learn the word bustle?” Charlotte whispered, making notes.

“Where did they learn the word “commoners?” Jasper wondered.

They instead made Amber a white Tiana gown that was short in the front, kind of like Char’s wedding dress, and a sparkly pair of white leggings, so that Amber wouldn’t protest too much to the lack of a bustle. Charlotte still didn’t know where they got that word from. But, passing by them on the swingset near their dollhouse, they were still dressed like she dressed them this morning, in their shoes and all.

Ruby being one, was the easiest to dress. Charlotte threw a white romper on them and a sunhat and they were the cutest kid in the world. Keeping it white and them out of trouble though? That was a task for somebody else today.

Charlotte’s twinkling maternity gown and updo made her look elegant enough for the party, but between her tiredness, hot flashes, being hungry A LOT, and rushing to the bathroom so much, she was lowkey miserable. She didn’t want to do a big thing for this birthday, being so close to her due date and this having been the most taxing pregnancy she had gone through, but Jasper seemed so excited about it and once the kids were in the mix with picking outfits and such, she felt obligated. 

He planned it for the weekend before her actual birthday, because the next weekend (a few days after her birthday) was around the due date. It was SO CLOSE. Their birthdays would be even closer together than hers and Jazz’s, which was at the beginning of the month and had been celebrated by unveiling the playground in the yard. Which was so extravagant, in Charlotte’s opinion. But, they had made sure to get a lot of land specifically TO BE extravagant, if they wanted to. 

Besides, Jasper paid for all of that, and what was she gonna do? Tell that man what he could and couldn’t do with his hard earned money? Jasper had always been extra, and now he could afford to be.

Jazz wanted a jungle gym. Amber wanted a carousel, and Jasper filled in a lot of the rest of it with stuff that he thought would be fun for them. She wondered if he wasn’t having some sort of early midlife crisis for a while, because he was extremely diligent on making this property perfect. But, that was because it would be their “Forever home” and he could pass it down from Dunlop to Dunlop for as long as they held it dear. “They’ve gotta hold it dear. It’s gotta be perfect. It’s my legacy.”

Watching him handle it was one of the ways she wound up pregnant again before he could have the chance to have a procedure. That man was simply too virile! And there was something about seeing him so passionately make plans and prep for their children’s futures that there was nothing sexier in the world than him in those moments. They scheduled his procedure after she realized that another Dunlop was on the way. Not that she had anything against her other 3 children, but four was twice what she initially saw for herself.

Charlotte LOVED being a mom. It was some of the best highlights of her life. She never would have expected to love it so much, but she absolutely did, aside from the pain of labor, her suffering was generally minimal. (Mainly, because she knew all of the rules medically, and she was able to figure out any necessary changes that she needed to make in her routine whenever her body called for it. 

She also loved the idea of helping other people safely become moms, especially with the somehow increasing number of fatalities in Black women attempting to do so. So, whenever she finished medical school, her residency and fellowship, she finally was confident and prepared enough to open her own center. 

She would be working as a medical biochemist, specializing in genetics for infants and childrens’ care. The site had an OBGYN, a pediatrician, a gynecologist, and a fertility specialist, when they started out. She wanted to make another option for women who might not get the proper care in other facilities, as well as options for  the babies and children that they had. Also, to help those who wanted to have children and had issues preventing them from doing so. 

Instead of having several doctors who are not associated in the building and renting from some leaseholder, she owned the building, would work from the lab with a team she selected, to avoid the disrespect and distrust at her previous lab, and found specialists that she was interested in, bringing what she valued most to the place. 

Having other Black female doctors around was also quite refreshing, for all of them and she made sure to include an onsite daycare with personally vetted childcare providers. Because she knew that she wasn’t the only working mommy and that was important to her, as well. (This was a separate place from the pediatric playroom), because that was for the potentially sick kids. She even involved the doctors and scientists that she would have there in the development process, as a bit of an interview situation. (They didn’t work for her, but she wanted the vision to work for everyone, and to find people who were on the same accord).

They called it A New Page Childcare Center, and Charlotte had never been happier in her life, as far as her work life went, as she was after getting it off of the ground. She was saving lives again, but doing it with a collective of like-minded professionals who respected and liked each other and worked well together. She could be here until she was ready to retire! Finally! She had not only found her calling, but she was able to build up something to follow it through, and she was able to see her children more throughout all of it.

Plus, even when helping a client through a strenuous process of tests and seeking out solutions or researching new ideas in genetics, she controlled her schedule and therefore was able to do things at this point in her life with Jasper and the kids that she felt guilty about not being able to do before, like family vacations and events. Henry and Craig FINALLY tied the knot shortly after Hen turned 33, and it was her center that they came to when seeking out a surrogate. 

At the center, they were able to speak with a surrogacy agent, because by that time, the center had grown to include an agency for surrogacy and one for adoption. By finding all these childcare specialists and providers and making room for them in her property, it was easy for people to explore all of these options in one place, and there were frequently workshops on site available for training in doula and midwife work, becoming foster parents, and NUMEROUS paid internships in every single one of the areas in the place. 

Now, most of these ideas she came up with, in tandem with Jasper during pillow talk. She knew if he knew how to do one thing, it would be to tell her truthfully how to have a fulfilling workspace. She just had never thought that she would be able to put all of these professions and occupations in one space. Whenever he would say, “Why don’t you just find one and get them in your building?” she would immediately think, I can’t do that! But now, she wasn’t even sure WHY she ever thought that she couldn’t do it! 

She guessed it sounded like too much. She guessed that it would be too hard to maintain rules, regulations, etc… But, Jasper pointed out, “But, they don’t work for you. As long as they can pay you to be in that space, it's an advantage to you all to have sources nearby to suggest. If fertility isn’t working out, your fertility specialist can suggest going to, you know… the fourth floor for a surrogate or the fifth floor for the adoption agency, etc. That way, they don’t have to look around, which would be additional stress and sometimes, you may be able to have a representative from the office of their next step come to speak with them and build rapport in that moment where they’ve lost a little bit a hope, to meet and reassure them that the last step was only another stepping stone and assure them that they will give their all to this particular leg of the journey.” There was always a brilliant idea coming out of him! She loved that man so much, more and more all of the time. 

.

The various talks that had to be had with them were generally successful. Having two socially conscious parents, they were going to get lessons about everything whenever they either were about to go out into the world on their own (school and such) or for more heavy topics, whenever they seemed to want to know. Of course, first and foremost was the way that people outside might perceive and treat them.

Jazz looked almost just like Charlotte, but with a different curl pattern. Her hair mostly grew down, but it was poofy enough that it fluffed out at the sides. It gave her just enough “other” for people to ask her “Black, and what else?” but, if she had it up or something, nobody even bothered. 

Amber was the only one that was really “light skinned,” but she always got a little browner in the summer. Her hair was curly like Jasper’s when he was a kid and it didn’t grow down, but out, so she had a huge curly fro.

Jazz said that Ruby was her mini… like she wasn’t cut from the very same cloth as Charlotte. Ruby had hair like Charlotte’s and similar features. Slightly less brown, but definitely darker than Amber. She looked even more like Charlotte, because they had similar mannerisms and the same face and hair. 

Diamond was only a couple of shades darker than Amber, but she had more of Jasper’s features than the others, who were basically molds of Charlotte with the slight differences mentioned, and her eyes were light colored. Well, they were somewhere between a hazel and a chestnut. Jasper insisted that she had his mom’s eyes. Charlotte just denied it on principle. She lowkey did have Pansy’s eyes and was really the only one that could “pass for a Dunlop,” according to some of the comments Charlotte had overheard and seen on posts before Jasper blocked somebody. People sometimes joked with Jasper to ask him if he was sure those were all his kids, but they quickly retracted these jokes, whenever they noted his face or body language. When Jazz was little, he’d be more likely to kick someone’s ass over it. By the time Amber came, it was asked less, but when it was brought up, Jazz was singled out! She “didn’t look mixed enough” someone said, in that way that he could tell they felt like they were just being honest. She looked just like her mother, if she had wavy hair!! And… what did people think that he was going to presume that they were suggesting about his wife when they asked him shit like that or made a funny little comment.

His mother made that mistake years ago. “I just don’t see any part of you in that one,” she said, opting to try to pick up Amber as she nudged her forehead towards Jazz. Amber hid behind her older sister. Something about Pansy made her nervous. The woman sighed and tacked on, “I don’t think it would hurt to get them DNA tested, just in case…”

And he told her, “If you hadn’t given me life, I would sock you in the mouth for that.” (Jasper never made threats like that at her and she was shook). 

“I was kidding! She’s just way darker than I thought she should be,” she had said about Jazz (which was PRIOR to Jazz identifying as a girl and ALSO made him upset that she called them a she), but Pansy had come out of that. They kept some distance between themselves and her until she had to seek them out and agree to the proper language and appropriate treatment. Then, Jasper monitored every time she was around for a long time before her and Charlotte were comfortable enough (and the kids were comfortable enough) for her to be allowed to spend time with them by herself.

She was a much better grandmother than she had been a mom, and he came to realize that a lot of people were weird about the fact that 3 out of 4 of his biracial kids didn’t quote unquote “really look biracial,” so they wanted to tell the girls about it whenever it was time for Jazz to go to her private school. Jasper wanted them in public school. There was one not too far from the house and it was considered when he bought it. But, they compromised that the kids could go to a private head start, maybe public elementary, and then Charlotte insisted on the private school when they got into junior high. But, after head start, all of Jazz’s friends were going to private school and she wanted to go, as well. Jasper wondered if Charlotte knew this would happen when she made that deal with him. She simply smirked in response.

“What the fuck is biracial?” Jazz had asked whenever the race talk came up. Charlotte threw her head back and Jazz winced, “Sorry, Mom.” She honestly never let go of the word, since she was 2 years old. But, she also had just presumed that since half of her family was different shades of brown and the other half were lesser shades of brown that other people had families that were just all kinds of browns and lesser browns, even those lesser brown people she knew from pre-k. 

Realizing that Uncle Henry and Uncle Craig were not going to be able to come together and simply make brown cousins or lesser brown cousins was like a shock to her system. They had to grow a baby somewhere else and try to pick somebody that would have some similar traits. Then, learning that people might be meaner to her because she was a darker brown than Daddy was alarming, to say the least, and that even more people might treat her differently because of her private areas that they couldn’t even see? She was scandalized and horrified. But… she said that sounded like it meant that girls were tougher than boys and she was “tough enough to be a girl.”

“It’s not really a matter of toughness. It’s more like what you feel like you are, inside. And it doesn’t have to be a girl, or even a boy. You might feel like something else that you don’t quite have the words for, and we’ll help you find the right words, if that’s the case or maybe even you’ll have new words for us that are more catered to who you feel like you are inside.” Charlotte said.

“Well, I don’t not feel like a girl. I feel like a girl who is strong and brave. Whatever that is is my gender. I don’t care. It’s never mattered before. I just am scared of the people out there that might try to treat me like I’m a Black girl. (I am, but… that’s scary stuff, Mom.”

“We’ll protect you as much as we can,” Jasper said.

“I have literally seen your father punch more than a few people for treating mommy some kind of way,” Charlotte admitted. Jasper’s face showed he had zero regrets about those choices.

“Don’t worry Dad. I have a mean right hook,” Jazz said. 

“Damn right you do. That’s that Dunlop Dumb Drop!” And with just that, the kid gestured for a double high five and they growled in each others faces and started barking. 

Charlotte, feeling left out said, “I have some drops too.”

Both of them looked at her and burst into crying laughter. “Mom, please, do not do this to me!” Jazz said as Jasper wiped his eyes from actually crying laughing about it. “Oh, you oughtta end all these talks like that. Who can feel worried when you’ve got this shining sense of humor.” 

Charlotte folded her arms, but couldn’t help but to laugh, in spite of herself of the fact that her young child thought it hilarious that she could drop somebody. “I never said with my fists, Kid. I’m a scientist and a doctor. I know at least one hundred ways to drop somebody without ever touching them. A lot of them, untraceable.” She threw a look at Jasper, who immediately stopped laughing. 

“Well, that’s just terrifying,” Jazz admitted. 

Charlotte winked, “Only for my enemies.” 

Now, Jazz offered her double high fives and said, “Friends for life!” 

Amber was concerned about things, but mostly about partnership. Why, at her age? They didn’t know, but they just answered her questions when they arose. “So. IF I AM a girl, feel like a girl, like things that the world says is for girls, but I also LIKE girls. Like, REALLY like girls, like - like them, you understand… can I still be a girl?”

“If you think you are, yes.”

“But, the world says that girls like boys, right? I hate boys. They’re smelly and unkind. They never like to wear pretty dresses that would be gorgeous on them. They hit you and say it’s because they like you, so if you want to hit them back, you don’t want to, because you don’t want them to think you like them, a stupid boy!”

Jasper balled his fists, “Who the hell hit you?” 

“Daddy, don’t get mad. Since hitting means boys like you, I didn’t hit him back, so he wouldn’t think I like him. Instead, I put mud in his sandwich when everybody was at recess.” She smiled proudly.

“Well, I’m glad that you got him back. But, next time, just hit him. Nobody gets to put their hands on you and if they really liked you, they wouldn’t. Also, who was it?”

“Are you gonna go punch the kid, Jasper?” Charlotte asked.

“I MIGHT!”

Charlotte changed the subject. “Not all boys are like that, but if you just don’t like boys, that’s still fine. You can like whoever you like.”

“I like girls.”

“Cool. Uncle Henry is a boy who likes a boy, Uncle Craig. And Uncle Jake and Uncle Ray…”

She looked frustrated, “Do only boys get to like boys in the world?” They’d already warned her that people are mean to girls, was not being able to like like other girls part of that meanness?

“No! Everybody gets to like whoever they like and sometimes the world is mean about it, but sometimes the world is nice.”

“The world better be nice to me, because there’s plenty of dirt out there for me to put on their sandwiches.”

Jasper whispered, “She’s terrifying, like you.”

“If by that you mean that she’s brilliant, thank you,” Charlotte whispered back and kissed him briefly.

“Hi. Could you not? I don’t really want to have to see boys and girls kiss in my own home,” Amber said, inciting cackles from both of them.

Ruby didn’t care either way. Whenever they told her all these things, they said they didn’t have questions, were undecided on if they knew what their gender was and didn’t care about racist people because, “I have a big, strong dad, a mom that can kill people quietly, an older sister who fights people and one that pees in people’s colas. I think that I’m well protected.”

Jasper and Charlotte were nodding, presuming that they probably had talked to their sisters about this before, but both stopped at “pees in people’s colas” and said, “Wait, what?” Ruby tilted their head, acting like they had no idea what they were asking about.

“I have nothing further,” Ruby said. They kept the “their/them” pronouns throughout life. It just seemed like a lot to them, to sit there and think and decide who they felt like when their upbringing didn’t place any value on gender roles. But, they were also fine with whatever pronouns someone else used for them. It didn’t really matter. 

Henry retired from hero life at 50. 

The Dunlop kids and the Hart kids got together to plan a Semi-Centennial celebration for their parents, instead of calling in a joint birthday celebration. A lot of things were happening within a few years’ time. Jasper and Charlotte being married for 25 years, Jazz becoming a professional athlete, Amber getting engaged to her college sweetheart, Ruby graduating from high school at the top of their class, JUST like their mom and going into an entire new wave of technology that fascinated Charlotte, and Diamond going into high school, and the fact that Uncle Henry was getting ready to “settle peacefully from everything else” and focus on H<3art Eyes until his official retirement… so retiring from Captain Danger so that he could have at least some good years in the wedding shop with his kids and husband, just living his life. 

His Dad and Ray had bought a boat a while back, which they mostly lived on, did some traveling in and also continued to enjoy perks such as the old Man Copter, which Ray basically just redecorated and put a cheesy postcard like caricature of the two of them on the side of it. The same for the RV that Jake brought, for whenever they wanted to travel on land. They were both retired and had no small kids. Ray never told Jake about Captain Man. The Hart kids agreed that he just COULDN'T have that information. It didn’t matter, anyway. They had been working well for about 20 years at that point. Neither chose to get married, but what they had was pretty undeniable. 

The child advocate in Charlotte Ambrosia Dunlop got with Schwoz years prior to come up with a way to keep Swellview safe from the villain threats without training children to work as heroes until they couldn’t. It was a solution that they sort of came to simultaneously, and Schwoz was very upset that he hadn’t really considered it before… Clone generation. Recreating a Captain Man and Captain Danger clone and having the Man Cave computer know just how and when they would need to be replenished! Charlotte didn’t want Schwoz to have to stay there, being the brain behind the thing, so she convinced him to make a Safe Halley, to control it all and to simply keep access to it, if something went wrong, one of them could go sort it out if they had to. But, they didn’t. They never had to again, and Swellview was still quite safe.

.

Charlotte, Jasper, Henry, Piper, Ray, and Schwoz sit on the patio, looking at the view of the sunsetting on the mountains during their annual Man Fam Getaway… “Our life was stupid crazy. I wouldn’t change a thing,” Charlotte said and everybody heard her and they all agreed.

*** The End***

[myspaciousplace]

Losing Our First Home

In the Bible, there is a passage that says, “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” (2 Samuel 22:20 NIV). Ironically, I became aware of this verse at a time when I was in one of the least spacious places I’ve ever lived in, even tighter than our current 1 bedroom apartment. That is one story, but first, I have to tell you the story about how we ended up living in that tight place:

In early 2017, after many months of going back and forth with the bank that held our mortgage (hours of phone calls, pages of paperwork, and heaps of stress), we eventually got told that we were facing imminent foreclosure. I will never forget that phone conversation. I had essentially been lied to by the person who was my assigned “contact” at the bank, being told that if I applied for a certain program, everything would work out and we would be able to keep our house. 

The Fight to Keep Our House

You see, we had fallen behind on our mortgage about 18 months after moving into our first home, because our well-established photography business had suddenly taken an unexpected dive. When that happened, I immediately applied for the bank’s forbearance program and got approved for 6 months of reduced payments so we could get our income back up. What they didn’t tell me was that we would be responsible to pay all the interest and the balance of the payments when the term was up. I was expecting to pay our regular mortgage payment on January 1st, 2017, but instead got a bill saying we owed over $10,000. I thought for sure it was a mistake, but after spending hours on the phone (mostly on hold, of course), found out that I had been misled. 

After several months of being told that we just had to fill out another application to be able to keep our home and diligently trying all options they gave us, we received a letter in the mail from a law office. The letter said they represented our bank and were responsible for collecting the debt we owed - NOT the $10,000 in past payments, but the entire balance of our mortgage! I had been told that as long as I was in the application process, everything was on hold and this wouldn’t happen. So I called my contact person again and this time asked to speak to a supervisor. The supervisor proceeded to tell me that our mortgage had gone to collections MONTHS ago and that I was wrong to believe that we had any chance of keeping our home. It had already been charged off and there was nothing we could do except cooperate with the foreclosure or sell it ourselves to pay off the entire debt. At that moment I felt like I had been punched in the chest. Literally got the wind knocked out of me. The tiny bit of hope I had been hanging onto this whole time was totally crushed. 

This was our first home. I had always wanted a house and I loved living there. It wasn’t our dream home, but this home had previously seemed so out of reach that I was ready to settle and allow it to be my dream home, thinking we might not ever do better than that anyway. But even my sub-par dream home was about to be lost. 

The Painful Journey of Accepting Our Loss

Asif and I cried together as we went through the journey of loss, packing and preparing to sell our beloved home, only 3 short years after moving in. Not to mention, I was 4 months pregnant at the time with a 6 year old, 4 year old, and 2 year old to care for. 

Thankfully the housing market was at a place where we could sell our home for more than we had bought it for, so we listed it, hoping to avoid foreclosure. After 5 long days of frantic, in-depth, non-stop cleaning so that people could come see the house every day (which is nearly impossible with 3 small children and 2 dogs making a mess behind you faster than you can clean it up!), someone made us an offer. It was $10,000 less than our asking price, which meant we would have to come up with as much on our own in order to sell it and pay all that we owed, but we knew that was the best we were going to get so we accepted. 

And then began the next heart-wrenching phase - trying to find a place to move to. We had no money, since we were going to have to pay every cent we had and even more, just to be able to get out from under the debt of the house. And, of course, we had horrible credit from falling behind on our mortgage payments. 

Will We Be Homeless?

Here we were, a family of 5, soon to be 6, with 2 dogs, about to be homeless. I threw out every idea I had of a decent living situation and narrowed down to 2 things I was really hoping for (I knew these were some “big asks”): 1) a place with an easily accessible washer and dryer; and 2) a place where I could let the dogs out into a yard. Yes, we decided to believe that somehow keeping our 2 dogs would be possible. Finally, our budget for rent was a mere $600 - $700! Nearly impossible to find anything at that price. I envisioned the worst - an unsafe, run-down apartment in a scary location. I accepted that I would have to somehow make the best of it.

However, I still tried to find other options and at one point my friend referred me to an apartment complex manager who was a friend of hers. I spoke to the lady telling her a little bit about our situation and asked her if she had any 2 bedroom apartments available. She then proceeded to tell me that it was illegal for her to rent a 2 bedroom apartment to our family, because the maximum occupancy allowed by law in a 2 bedroom apartment was 4 people. She said she could rent us a 3 bedroom, but that was way out of our price range. 

Upon hearing that, I felt yet again like I'd been punched in the chest. I had just found a way to resign myself to figuring out how to make a 2 bedroom apartment work with our family and just got told that even that wasn't an option. I broke down crying and prayed, asking God to bring us someone who would take a chance on us, who would risk renting to us even though we had no good recent history to convince someone with. I knew there was no hope for any “normal” option and I just cried out for grace and mercy to be shown to us. 

Grace Steps In

And here is where the next story begins:

THE NEXT DAY, Asif was at our photography studio with Andrea, who works for us as another photographer, and she somewhat sheepishly presented an offer. She said that she and her husband had been talking about us and our situation and they wanted to do something to help. They live in a split-level house and their lower-level (basement) was basically just storage space for them. They had thought about renting it out in the past but never went anywhere with it. 

Now they were willing to rent it to us, but it would lead to a very unique living situation. We would have our own half-bath downstairs, but have to share the bathtub/shower in their upstairs bathroom and we would have to share the kitchen. Now we knew Andrea and Zach as friends, but mostly as casual friends because of working together. We weren’t super close at that point and being willing to enter into this kind of extremely close collaboration and sharing was a very very brave thing for them to do. As soon as Asif told me about it, I felt my heart leap inside - this was IT! This was exactly what I had just cried out to God for! 

We went and looked at the space just to be sure we could make it work (I already knew at this point that I would make anything work!). Their house was out in the country, about 20 minutes from our studio, with a large yard. The lower level was basically 2 big rooms with a half-bath. Want to know the best part?!? My 3 BIG asks were fulfilled here - there was a door that led to the fenced-in area of their backyard where I could let our dogs out; the washer and dryer were in the basement and I was able to use them; AND they charged us $650 a month!! We had never told Andrea that we had those desires, only Asif and I knew what we were hoping for. We said yes to Andrea and Zach and proceeded to spend the next 2 years living there! There is so much that happened during those 2 years that I will write about later. But for now, here is how I came to understand what a “spacious place” is while I lived in this very tight space.

The Promise

In the weeks when we were getting ready to move, I was extremely exhausted - 5 months pregnant and working like crazy day and night to be able to move out of a house that I loved. I woke up most mornings feeling like I had been hit by a train. 

I clearly remember one such morning and, just a few steps after getting out of my bed, I collapsed on the bedroom floor and broke down. I sobbed and prayed to God. I was so tired and so hurt from this loss, I just needed hope, a promise, something to hold onto, to get me through this extremely hard time. I asked him for a promise that we would one day get our real dream house, which was to own a house on a few acres with some animals and a garden - the house I described in the first post. We called it our “farmhouse,” because it would be like a mini-farm to our family. It was what Asif and I had dreamed of years before and we had hoped that our first house would lead to our farmhouse. Instead we were losing our first house with no hope of anything better in our foreseeable future. So after I had stopped crying, I got up to start my day, holding my heart in an open posture, ready to receive this “promise,” however and whenever God would reveal it to me. 

A few days later, I was in the kitchen, probably cleaning, not thinking about much at all, when suddenly a thought popped into my brain, as if it was from God: “What if this time I want you to believe me for the farmhouse, NOT because I gave you a promise, but because of My nature?” Immediately I knew exactly what this meant - it meant that God, who is my loving creator and parent, was asking me to believe Him for the desire of my heart without a direct promise from Him, because I knew that He loved me so much that He wanted to give me the desires of my heart. Once again, I broke down (pretty sure I ugly-cried daily during those weeks!), but this time with gratitude and the overwhelming feeling of being loved simply because I am. Not because of anything I’ve done. Simply because I exist. I held onto that as more than enough to get me through all that was to come. 

Discovering My Spacious Place

So while we were living in the basement of our friend’s house, Asif and I were envisioning our farmhouse, believing for it, reminding ourselves that no matter how hard things were for us, this was in our future. At one point, when we especially needed encouragement, Asif came across the verse in 2 Samuel and shared it with me. I felt as though it was putting more words to God’s promise to me: “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” (2 Samuel 22:20 NIV) I knew these were going to be the exact words I would someday use when we finally got into our farmhouse. They were so encouraging and such a beautiful thought to envision saying in the future. 

One day I was thinking about this very verse when something hit me - I had been viewing this verse in light of my future, but the words were past tense! Spoken not for the future, but for right now because it had already happened - “He brought me out into a spacious place. . .” I had missed something so very obvious - God was actually trying to get the message to me that I ALREADY WAS IN MY SPACIOUS PLACE! It was truly a moment of enlightenment as I realized that our time living in this basement was actually a spacious place, not a literal spacious place, but rather a spacious place for my soul - a place where the busy-ness of our “connected” lives had come to a halt as we became disconnected from our previous communities; a place where the complications of juggling expenses that were over our heads was dissolved; a place where Asif and I had the mental and emotional space to sort through a lot of things, specifically our mindsets and our relationship with each other; a place where I was able to spend time working on myself; a very spacious place indeed.

This realization gave me a much-needed change in perspective that allowed me to really soak in all that our time there had for us. I reminded myself that this was temporary, that there would come a day when I would miss all this, that there is an opportunity available to me during this season to grow and learn like never before and I may not get a chance like this ever again. I suddenly wanted to “squeeze out” all that I could during this time. And for the most part, I believe we did just that.  

IMAGE CREDITS:

Brett Jordan - Unsplash

Anh Nguyen- Unsplash

Zohre Nemati - Unsplash

Fa Barboza - Unsplash

Amarnath Tade - Unsplash

[anavoliselenu]

Freedom chapter 2

JUSTIN POV

"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."- Martin Luther King Jr.

All things Twilight related belong to Stephenie Meyer

"Justin," Selena purred in my ear, "wake up."

"No," I rolled away from her, "it's one in the morning, Selena. Go to sleep."

"I can't."

"Well, I'm exhausted," I complained. I already knew what she wanted just by the sound of her voice. Normally, I would be all for a little seduction and sex under the sheets, but not tonight.

Alec and I had spent all day removing tree stumps from the backyard to give us more room to expand the house in a couple of months. By the end of the day, I was covered in grime and my muscles were screaming in pain.

"Justin," She crawled over me lightly so that we were facing each other again, "it's too hot to sleep and I get all antsy at night now that I don't have a job."

"I can't help you, Selena. Go back to bed."

It had been a week since Selena quit at the club. I went in with her, and Nahuel glared at me the whole time we were there. Unknown to her, I had him arrested on trumped up charges of tax evasion. He had been rotting away in some dingy Brazilian jail for the past couple of days and probably wouldn't get out for another couple of months, at least.

Selena was planning on getting another job soon, but as of right now, she was enjoying her downtime.

"It's so damn hot," she breathed on my skin.

"What do you want me to do about it? I already opened the windows."

"I know you're not asleep." She wiggled into my arms, placing kisses on my bare chest. "Please…"

"No, go away."

I tried to hold off, but we both knew where this was going.

I sighed and laid on my back, spread eagle. "Do with me what you wish."

Selena climbed up and, of course, she knew how to get the right response out of me. Her legs widened over my lap, the cotton fabric of her panties meeting the already hard erection that I was sporting in my boxers.

I brought her face down to my lips, because I was now wide awake and ready to play.

I rolled us over and pinned her underneath my body. I immediately ground my pelvis against hers and could feel the effect of her desire when I felt the wet spot on her panties. Selena's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she let out a throaty moan.

"You asked for it." I kissed her neck and started moving down over her shirt-covered chest. Her nipples were hard for me and waiting for attention. On a night like this, though, foreplay wasn't on the menu.

"You're taking too long," Selena lifted her hips up and slid her underwear down, throwing it somewhere in the room.

My hands traveled under the sheet and gripped her ass. I pulled my throbbing dick out of my boxers as she rolled us sideways so that we were facing each other. It sprang free, ready to find a home between Selena's legs. I positioned myself right at her wet entrance and pushed in slightly, letting my tip tease her just a little.

She gasped when I did it again, pushing further this time. She needed to be stretched, and Selena made sure that I was hitting the right spot by rolling her hips into mine. She leaned in close and scissored her legs through mine so that we were entwined, almost one person. Without even having to do any work, I slipped deep inside her wet pussy, both of us letting out a guttural moan at the sensation.

"Aren't you glad I woke you up?" Selena wheezed and threw her head back, giving me full access to her luscious neck.

"Fuck yeah," I growled, sliding over the sheets and deeper inside of her, "I give you permission to wake me up anytime."

"I'll keep that in mind." She grabbed hold of my hair, tugging and pulling in a gloriously assertive way.

Our legs were losing circulation because they were so tightly bound and small tingles started creeping over my skin. While thrusting, we held on to each other for leverage and ultimate friction, letting our bodies fall into sexual ecstasy. My kisses traveled over Selena's delicate collarbone and pert nipples, making my name fall from her perfect lips.

I knew her body backwards and forwards, so I could estimate when she was close. Selena's nails started scratching marks down my chest, creating pain and pleasure wrapped into one. She quivered violently as I pounded deeper, skin meeting skin.

Her entire body uncoiled without a word. There were just grunts and whimpers as we both erupted into each other. I felt long spurts of cum leave my dick as they coated her walls and created sloppy noises down below. I shuddered as the last remnants of my release dripped out, and my entire body suddenly became exhausted after the high I just rode.

Neither Selena nor I moved for what seemed like hours.

"Holy shit." Selena's head rolled onto the pillow, but she didn't disentangle herself from me.

"Like I said, wake me up anytime." I kissed her lips roughly. "That was intense."

"I don't know what came over me." She finally let go and scooted away.

I took a deep breath, bringing my body back to life and stared up at the ceiling. "I'll suffer any punishment for a fuck like that again." I looked at her. "Are you sleepy now?"

She giggled and nodded. "I'm exhausted. Thank you."

"Would it be completely crass of me to fall asleep now?" I shut my eyes, not being able to keep them open any longer.

"Goodnight, Justin." I felt her soft lips on my cheek.

I heard Selena get situated next to me, and then settle herself into bed. After a few minutes, I opened one eye just to check on her. It had become somewhat of a ritual in the past couple of years. I couldn't sleep unless I knew she was safe and content. Whether we were angry at each other or just had a major argument, I would toss and turn all night. Something inside of me just wouldn't shut off.

I rolled over and didn't even bother covering myself up. It was too hot for that. I just drifted off to sleep.

Sometime around three, the discomfort in my back started to make itself known. I tried to ignore it and forget the pain was even there, but that didn't happen.

I got out of bed and lightly padded into the bathroom. Without turning on the lights, I went straight for those nice little blue pills on the counter and took two of them. The uneasiness subsided within minutes, and I knew I would be alright for the next twelve hours or so.

I pulled my pillows off of the bed and set myself down on the carpet to finish out the night. Most times when I had back problems, I slept here. Selena hated it. She told me I wasn't healthy, but I begged to differ. At least I wouldn't wake up in twisted knots in the morning. I tried not to think about how many disgusting germs might be around me and closed my eyes again.

It took me an hour of restlessness to realize that I wasn't going back to sleep.

"What's going on?" Selena asked me sleepily as I started to get up from the floor.

"I can't sleep," I told her.

"Why?" She rolled over to look at me through hooded eyes.

"It's nothing. Go back to bed." I kissed her. "I'll be downstairs and I'm turning on the air condition. It's too fucking hot in here."

"Okay."

I closed all the windows in the room, and then ventured out into the hallway to blast the shit out of the A/C. It almost immediately became freezing in the house, but it was better than the hell of the tropical season.

I went downstairs, flicked on the lights, and decided to make myself a pot of coffee. No one manufactured coffee like Brazil, and it could keep you up for days. It was like crack, but tasted so much better. While I waited, I sat on the couch and watched the news, catching up on what was happening in the real world. I tried not to care about anything going on anywhere else. Nothing mattered but this little island, Selena, and Alec.

If you would have told me that this would be my life four years ago, I might have shot something. Back then, this kind of existence made no sense to me. Now, the regularity of island life had become my sanctuary. The simplicity, the easiness, the freedom; it was exactly what I needed. I would probably be dead for real by now if I stayed in Chicago.

The coffee pot dinged softly, indicating that my morning pick-me-up was ready. The sun wouldn't be up for another four hours, so I couldn't go for a run like I wanted. I settled for sitting on the couch and barely watching the TV.

I heard the light movement of feet upstairs and a couple minutes later, Selena came down wiping her eyes.

"If we're going to stay up, I need more than coffee." She plopped down next to me and took my cup from me.

"You can go back to bed."

"Not now. I'm already up."

Selena just didn't like it when I wasn't in the bed with her. That's probably why she hated when I slept on the floor. By now, we had gotten our 'late-night-no-sleep-dates' down to a science. We had them probably about once a week.

"So… I'll get the Scrabble?" she asked, almost hopefully.

"And I'll get more coffee." I got up from the couch and went into the kitchen to retrieve bigger cups.

By the time I had come back, Selena was on the floor in front of the coffee table, setting up the massive Scrabble Deluxe Edition board.

"We are such nerds," Selena said with a laugh, "but I love this game so much."

"No making up words this time." I sat across from her, stretching my legs out.

"Excuse me, but I don't make up words. Just because they aren't in the dictionary doesn't mean they don't exist."

"That's exactly what it means."

"I'm sure they exist somewhere." She glared at me.

"You're just a sore loser."

In over a year of doing this, Selena had never once won a game of Scrabble. Sometimes, I would think about letting her scoot by with a victory, but she acquired this proclivity for making things up. She had a degree in fucking English literature, and yet she couldn't think of real words to put on the board. She always complained that her letters never made anything worthy of points.

"I'm not a sore loser," Selena argued. "You just need to stop using those big words that no one can understand."

"I can't help it." I shrugged, superiorly sipping my coffee. "I play to win."

She squinted at me while picking her letters and the game began.

Of course, ten minutes in, we were already quarrelling over one of her words. I tried to explain to her that "s-p-r-a-m-p" didn't exist. Selena challenged that it did. About six months ago, the dictionary was "misplaced", so I couldn't really debate, but she ended up conceding.

"I can't believe you." Selena shook her head as she wrote down my sixty-eight-point word.

"Triple word, double letter on a 'W', and triple letter on an 'F'," I gloated. "Don't cheat me either."

"This is ridiculous. Who would have ever thought 'waffle' was going to be my enemy?"

Before I could reach my hand into the velvet pouch to pull out more letters, the lights shut off completely. The air conditioner also powered down simultaneously, and an eerie silence fell over the room.

"What's happened?" Selena whispered.

"I don't know," I said quietly. I was instantly on alert, listening and squinting in the dark for any abnormality.

Alec suddenly crept into the room, wielding a rather large pistol and a semi-automatic strapped around his chest. I thought he might be sleepwalking or some shit like that, but there was a strange glare in his eyes that I could even see in the shadows.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, my voice low and grainy.

"Do you two not hear that?" He turned towards us. "Stop fucking around. We have company."

"Great spy line." I rolled my eyes. "What's going on?"

"Just listen." He crawled on the floor towards the glass, sliding door and pulled the curtains closed.

I tuned everything out and honed my hearing. It only took a second for me to hear it, and when I did, I jumped up from the floor.

"Justin, what is it?" Selena asked.

"Boats," I answered shortly.

"Wave runners," Alec said. "Six, I think. I couldn't see them from my window, but I sure as hell could hear them." He peeked out of the curtain.

"What the hell do they want? How did they find us?" Selena questioned. I was asking myself the same thing.

"And they have guns, so… there's that." Alec sighed. "I don't think they're friendly."

"Selena, I need you to go upstairs." I went into the massive gunroom, which I of course kept stocked to the fullest.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't have time to argue with you." I handed her a couple firearms; I wasn't sure which ones. "Please just listen to me. Go upstairs and lock the door. I have a key so if someone knocks, it's not me. We just need to sort this out and-"

"I'm not leaving you two down here," she interrupted me.

"I will carry you up there if I have to." I had to stop myself from yelling, "Please… just listen to me."

Selena thought for a second, her feelings evident on her face, before she nodded. "What do they want?"

"I don't know, Selena, but I promise that I'm going to find out and we're going to get them off of our island."

"This is happening really fast," she exhaled.

I nodded. "I'm going to handle this."

"They're coming," Alec whispered.

"How many are there?" I asked him.

"Six and they all have some impressive firepower."

"Go upstairs," I told Selena. "I'll be up there when this is finished. No matter what you hear going on down here, don't come out of our room." I pulled down the smallest bulletproof vest that I had made especially for her and strapped it to her body, making sure it was secure.

"Be safe," She hugged me tightly around my neck. "I want them off of our island, Justin."

"They will be," I vowed. "If anyone comes in the room, shoot them. Don't think about it." I pushed her up the stairs and didn't move until I heard the lock on our bedroom door.

"How do you want to do this?" Alec asked me as I grabbed anything and everything I could, including my trusty golden Eagle. I was surprised I still had the thing.

"I need one of them alive. Kill anything else that moves," I instructed, putting on my own vest and handing one to Alec. "I want to know who they are, why they're here, what they want, and how they found us."

"Yes, sir." Alec saluted. "Are we waiting for them?"

I looked around the spacious first floor of the house. Fortunately, we had enough room to maneuver. My mind went into overdrive: making game plans, finding exits, trying to deduce the best strategies, seeing if there were any valuables that needed to be put up. I had a feeling that this wasn't going to be a friendly visit.

"Wait for them," I said mostly to myself.

I flipped the kitchen table over. I went into the family room and did the same to the couch, the coffee table, spilling the Scrabble game and coffee onto the floor. Alec helped me push the bookcase into the middle of the room—anything for coverage.

There were six of them and two of us. They had the advantage because they were prepared. There wasn't any way we were going to stop them from coming in, so why try? I didn't want to stop them, anyway. They were going to get one hell of a surprise.

I sent Alec into the kitchen, while I crouched on the floor to wait for whoever was trying to attack my home. I could feel my heart beating with the rapid anticipation that I usually got with a gun in my hands. I guess my time off had come to a sudden halt.

"This had to be the night that I forget to set the alarm system," I berated myself. I never forgot to set the alarm. There was a buoy a mile out, bobbing in the ocean that was made especially for situations like this. It should have alerted me to any boat that came near this island.

I stopped my thoughts to just listen and heard footsteps in the sand. There were six sets, just like Alec said. My inhuman senses could pick up the heaviness of each man and the sound of their guns clicking together. I didn't know who they were or what kind of breed these men came from, but I could tell they wouldn't go down easily.

Something slid across the floor and hit me in the knee. It was a small pocketknife that I had given Alec for his seventeenth birthday. He gave me a thumbs-up before slinking back around the corner. I kept the knife close to me for safekeeping.

The locks on the door began to jiggle and I crossed myself twice just as it banged open. I stayed in my spot behind the sofa, barely breathing. I wanted to know what they were all about. Silence was golden in my situation.

"Where are they?" a gruff voice asked.

"I saw movement. They're here." another replied.

"How many are we supposed to take care of?"

"Three. He said there were three."

"Why are we even here?"

"Because the pay is good. Stop complaining and find them."

Alec was the first one to shoot, and the sound of hasty bullets suddenly erupted around me. I kept my head low and just opened fire in the general direction where I heard the most commotion. I realized that my house was probably going to be destroyed.

There were approaching footsteps of a man, and I judged his distance from my hiding place. When he was close enough, I stood up and prepared to unload a full clip of lead into his chest. He was in full military gear, complete with a helmet, bulletproof vest, and a thick jacket to cover his body.

That left two main targets for maximum penetration: the face and the groin. I didn't even give him a chance to prepare himself before I fired everything the powerful weapon had. His body jerked violently as his blood splattered the white curtains behind him.

I didn't have time to savor the feeling of a fresh kill before I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and reacted immediately, firing everything the gun had. He was on the ground, but still wiggling in despair. I kicked off his helmet so that I could see his face and then took the knife, plunging it deep into the soft flesh of his neck. I ripped it out and a fountain of blood sprang up as he took his last breath.

The family room was quiet with three bodies on the floor around me. The lights were still out, and the walls were littered with bullet holes. The smell of new blood seeped into the carpet and I could almost feel the spooky ghosts of the fallen in the air.

Quick and easy kills. Three down.

I treaded lightly and quietly, keeping to the shadows. There wasn't any noise, but that only made me feel more alert. I took each step deliberately and listened with waiting ears.

I distinguished Alec's footsteps from down the hall. I whistled a high-pitched noise, and he whistled back, our cue to put the guns down.

"What the hell was that?" He came around the corner with an angry face. "You didn't even give me a chance to pick them off."

"You started shooting first. I thought it was time to start the firing squad."

"You planned that badly. No warning, no game plan. It was messy." He huffed, "I only got two."

"I took three. That means there's one left." I repositioned my gun. "Did he go outside?"

Before Alec answered there was a loud pop from upstairs, and it took me a second to remember that Alec and I weren't the only ones in the house.

I climbed the stairs three at a time and had my gun ready to kill.

The first thing I noticed when I rounded the corner into the upstairs hallway was that my bedroom door was busted clean through. The wood looked like it had barely survived a stampede. It was splintered off in all directions and what little piece that was left, was hanging off the hinges.

I rushed into the room and saw a guy on our bed, clutching his shoulder, his blood staining the sheets red. He wasn't dead, but looked not very far from it.

Selena held a small gun in her slightly shaking hands. There was a stone cold look one her face, and a deep scratch on her cheek. It was almost as if someone had tried to swipe her with a knife or some animal had clawed at her.

"You fucking bitch," the man groaned, rolling over the bed like he was gasping for air.

I took the butt of my Eagle and smashed him in the forehead. He yelped in pain and muttered indistinguishably as his eyes rolled closed.

"Jesus Christ, Selena." Alec looked around the room, which was disheveled and in complete tatters. Everything was broken or split in two.

"Did he do that?" I cupped her cheek, which was starting to bleed. The gash wasn't deep, but it looked painful. "What did he do to you?" I asked, my voice strained from the anger that was coursing through my veins.

She nodded and handed me the gun she was holding. "I'm fine. He… just started banging on the door and I shot him."

"Are you okay? What did he do?"

"Nothing. He chased me around and tried to grab me." Selena sighed, pulling up the ripped portion of her shirt that was falling down. She collapsed tiredly in a chair in the corner. "He was a jackass."

I noticed holes in the walls that could only be made by bullets.

"Did he fucking shoot at you?" I yelled.

"I think so. I shot at him first, though." She shrugged, "I know him."

"You know him?"

"Well, he came into the bar last week. He had a gun, but I didn't think anything of it."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was more worried about your bloodied, cut up hand. Besides, it's not the first time some guy with a gun has come into the bar. He said his name was Ben."

"You sure did a number on him." Alec tried to roll the guy over. He was breathing harshly, and judging by the amount of blood loss on the bed, he didn't have much longer to live. "One shot through the shoulder and one in the stomach. Good job, Selena."

She smiled wryly and slumped deeper into the chair. It was the first time Selena had shot a real person. I trained her with cadavers so that she would know how it felt to put a bullet through an authentic body, but she'd never come close to actually doing it.

I knelt down in front of her, pulling the guns off of my body. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine." She nodded, trying to be strong. "What happened downstairs? Did you get hit or something?"

"No, of course not."

Selena got up from the chair and lightly climbed over the rubbish in our room. She went into the bathroom and came back with a washcloth and a Band-Aid.

"What the hell is going on, Justin?" she asked and wiped the wet cloth over her face. "I don't like this."

"I don't know, Selena. Are you sure you're okay?"

"If you ask me that one more time, I'll shoot you." She scowled. "I'm fine."

Selena's face and actions were saying something totally different from her words. She was almost shaking. Her feet brought her towards me, and I wrapped my arms around her when she rested her head on my chest.

"Were you scared?" I asked.

"It was just happening so fast and I was trying not to think about what was happening downstairs."

"Selena, it's okay. You did exactly what I told you to do," I assured her. "You did nothing wrong."

She nodded. "I know."

"Good."

"If we want any info out of this bastard, we might need to work fast. He's slipping," Alec said.

"Alright, let's get him outside." I kissed the top of her head and made sure that she could stand up straight on her own. I then went to help Alec lift the guy up.

Selena moved stuff out of the way as Alec and I dragged him off of the bed. His blood created a trail behind us as we pulled him through the house, and I had to kick dead bodies of the way as I stumbled out of the door.

"This is so fucked up." Alec strained as he lifted the guy up higher by the arms. "We were attacked."

"We were invaded," Selena said, following behind us.

"Like on the beaches of Normandy. I just watched a documentary on it the other day," Alec replied. "This is another world war."

"This whole situation is bullshit." I dropped the body behind the house. The sun was about to come up, and the morning birds were starting to chirp happily.

Alec rushed off to get the things we needed. He knew the drill by now and didn't waste any time. He brought back a rickety old chair and a thick rope that we usually tied the boats up in.

I started to strip the guy out of his clothes. He would mumble something incoherent every couple of seconds. I searched through all his pockets, searching for any form of identification. I found a small black book and handed it to Selena. "See if there's anything useful in there."

"What are you going to do to him?" she asked and flipped through the pages.

"Eventually kill him," I answered truthfully.

"He has our names."

"Which names?" I ripped the bulletproof jacket off of the man, who was still alive and starting to wake up. His blood was coating my hands, but I kept digger deeper, trying to find more information.

"Our real names and pictures. They look like they were taken from far away. We're on the beach."

What the fuck?

" Who is this guy?" Selena asked.

"I don't know. His uniform isn't anything I recognize." I was trying to stay as calm as possible, to appear like I had this situation under control. In reality, this wasn't looking good at all.

"Let's kill him now," Alec exhaled, cracking his neck.

I shook my head.

I got the man down to his boxers. He had nothing else on him, but according to Selena his name was Ben. Alec and I put him in the chair, tying him up tightly with the rope. He was tottering on his ass, like he was drunk.

"Is he dead yet?" Selena whispered to me.

"No, he's still alive." I tapped the man on the head. "Wake up!"

He grunted and gurgled something that I couldn't understand, so I tapped him again. This time his eyes shot open, and his face twisted in pain.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" I asked. I had almost no patience to deal with this man, so if he didn't answer my questions, he was going to die quicker than he already was.

"Where the hell are my clothes?" He wheezed and coughed. "Where are my men?"

"Who are you?" I asked again.

"I… I don't know."

"Yes you do." Selena slapped the shit out of him, "You came into the bar last week. I made you a fucking drink." She slapped him harder this time.

"Selena," I picked her up and set her back down away from Ben, "You can't kill him yet."

"He's a liar."

"Of course he is. It's an act. Let me handle this."

She scowled, but nodded.

Ben screeched to the high heavens, screaming for any help that was out there. Selena cringed next to me, and Alec shuddered in annoyance. I let the man scream.

"No one's going to hear you," I said after he was finally out of breath. "Who are you?"

"Who are you?" He choked and turned his head away. He tried to get loose from his bindings, struggling to break free.

"Selena, can you go to the beach, please, and wait there?" I asked, but it definitely wasn't a question. "Don't go inside of the house and fire a gun if anyone else comes." I handed her the pistol I was carrying.

She debated for a second, biting her lip in typical Selena fashion. She nodded silently and ran out of the forests, on the path back towards the beach.

"I'm not going to ask you again." I tried to calm myself down. "Tell me who you are and why you're here."

The man still didn't say anything. He was dying anyway, so maybe he just didn't care.

I took the same small dagger from Alec and didn't hesitate as I placed the tip on the guy's bare chest. The blood from his shoulder was dripping down and I guessed I only had about ten more minutes before he passed out again.

I dug the point of the knife into his skin, carving a large 'E' into his muscle. It was just deep enough to cause a considerable amount of pain, which was apparent on his face.

This man was definitely going to remember my name before he died.

"If you tell me what you're doing here, I might just spare you," I lied, dragging the knife over his skin again, creating the beginning line of a 'D'.

"I get paid to kill," he said through his clenched teeth.

"An assassin?" Alec asked from behind me.

"No, he's a mercenary," I replied. I could spot a hired killer from a mile away. This man was trained militarily. "Who do you work for?" I questioned, completing the 'D' and moving onto the 'W'.

"A company based in Texas." He was shaking and sweating profusely as my knife carved into his flesh. "We get paid to kill, but we don't know why or who. We don't ask questions."

"Who paid you?" The 'W' was now complete, and I decided to give the guy a break so he could breathe.

"My boss, but I don't know who put the hit out on you. I just get a call and get on the plane."

"And how did you find us?" Alec asked.

"They gave us the location. We don't get to ask questions," he garbled.

I realized that we weren't going to get any more information out of him because his speech was slurring and his eyes were fluttering closed. He had done well so far, but now that I had begun to write my name on this man's chest, I wanted to finish. He had tried to hurt my family. He actually put his hands on Selena. That was unacceptable. I wanted to see if he could last the carving of his body.

By the time I had finished the last 'D', he was dead and his head limped forward as his body stilled. He was covered in grime, dirt, sweat, and sticky blood. I didn't care about his real name or if he had a family or how old he was. None of that mattered.

"We're being hunted," I exhaled in defeat. Our time on this island was quickly coming to a close.

"Who the fuck knows we're here and why are they trying to kill us?"

"It could be anyone." I had a list of about fifty people in my head that had the resources for something like this. Hell, this invasion was something I might try later if I ever got the chance. "We need to leave. If they can find us then so can anyone else."

"Where are we going to go?"

"I don't know." I stood up and started to make the walk back to the house.

Selena was sitting on the beach, just like I asked her, as the sun came up over the ocean. Alec went inside. I sat next to her and just watched the view.

"What did he have to say?" she asked.

"They were hired to kill us. He doesn't know who, but someone knows we're here and wants us dead."

"So soon?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then, where are we going now?"

"I'm not sure. Give me a couple hours to think about it." I turned towards her. "You know I would never let anything happen to you, right?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"I never want something like that to catch us off guard again." I put my arm over her shoulders. "If you want… you can go home, back to Seattle or wherever. Alec and I…"

"No, no, no," she interrupted with an almost angry voice. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying with you."

I let out a relieved sigh. I hated that Selena was in the middle of this and on several occasions, I tried to convince her to go home and have a normal life with some other man that could give her what she needed. That was the worst kind of pain imaginable. I could suffer through almost anything, but to see her leave would almost be unbearable. But I guess I'd let her. Maybe? Possibly?

"Wherever you go, I go." She melded her lips to mine softly, tenderly; eagerly. I had no choice but to comply.

"I hate to break up the love fest, but we need to clean up and make plans," Alec's voice said, interrupting us.

I broke away from Selena reluctantly and touched the Band-Aid on her face. She smiled tightly and got up from the sand, pulling me with her.

The cleanup was always the messiest job of any operation, no matter which side you were on. Alec and I spent the first early hours of the morning digging deep holes behind the house. We made two of them. We then gathered all the bodies together and stripped them down, leaving them in nothing. We checked the pockets for something, anything. They were mysteries to us, so we treated them like nothing more than cattle.

We threw their clothes into one hole and I dowsed them in kerosene, throwing a match into the pit. Alec kept the smoke from ascending too high into the air. We didn't need anyone else knowing we were on this island.

Once the clothes were nothing more than ashes, I started covering the hole up.

Alec and I then tipped each of the bodies into the second ditch. They were all heavy men who had scars over their skin, showing their experiences in the field; probably ex-marines or Navy Seals.

We executed the same procedure with the bodies, burning them and tending to the smoke. It took a lot longer to get the bones and melting flesh down to gray ash. Again, we covered the hole with dirt.

Before either of us could say anything, Selena ran up next to me, out of breath and sweating.

"What's wrong?" I asked her impatiently.

"The phone's ringing. The house phone," she panted.

We looked at each other in confusion. First off, we had a house phone, but no one dared use it. The thing was already installed when I got here. Second, I was surprised it hadn't been massacred in the shootout like everything else in the house.

Selena took my hand and started running back towards the house. Alec followed us. We got there a couple minutes later and like she said, the phone was ringing shrilly.

It was on the counter, vibrating angrily as if to say, 'Pick me the fuck up!'

I sat on one of the stools that hadn't been demolished.

"What do we do?" Alec asked.

"Pick it up?" Selena suggested. "Who could it be?"

"I don't know. No one has this number. I don't even know it."

This was insanely strange. We get attacked and now the phone that no one uses starts ringing. I hadn't even had time to sort this shit out yet. I needed just five minutes alone to myself to get my brain back into fighting mood.

The phone stopped for a second, but started ringing again without a break.

"Let me talk. Don't say a word," I told the both of them.

I took a deep breath and pressed the speakerphone button.

"Hello?" I asked, not letting myself falter.

"Justin? Thank God." Carlisle's voice was relieved and anxious at the same time.

"Dad?" I furrowed my brow in confusion. "What the hell are you doing calling this number?"

"I had to check. Are you alright?"

"Yeah… What…" I showed rare signs of speechlessness.

"Are Selena and Alec there? Are they alright?"

"They're fine. I sent them outside." I lied. He didn't need to know that they were next to me. He would alert what he was going to say if he knew they were close, "Why are you calling?"

"We were attacked last night. A whole group of guys were at the house with guns and whatever the hell else they brought with them. It was ridiculous. One of them spilled after some persuasion. He said they had some men going to Brazil to…"

"It was an ambush from all fucking sides!" I slammed my fist down on the table. "Was anyone hurt?"

"No, we're all okay thankfully, but I was worried about you guys. I was two seconds away from getting on a plane."

"What the hell kind of show are you running up there? What the fuck is going on?" I demanded an answer.

"Justin, we don't have time to argue about this…"

"Who knows we're here? Did you tell anyone?"

"Of course I didn't. Do you think I would put my family in jeopardy like that?"

"Well, I'm not so sure now."

"Justin, stop it! No one knows and this is the hardest secret I've ever had to keep in my life, but I did it to protect you. Stop accusing me of things you know nothing about."

I pulled at my hair in frustration. Selena's hand ran over my back to comfort me, but it did little this time. Alec was itching to say something, but stayed silent on my command.

"We're leaving soon, possibly tonight," I told him.

"I'm already making arrangements."

"I don't know where we're going, but we have to move fast."

"You're going to Rome. The plane will pick you up tomorrow morning."

"Rome?" I lifted my head in confusion. "Why the fuck are we going to Rome?"

"Because… we weren't the only ones ambushed. Your grandfather was killed last night, Justin. I need you to come to the funeral."

Once again, I was dumfounded at the turn of events. Was he serious? Could this really be happening? We were talking about the same man? Nicola Rossini? No, it couldn't be.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice was raspy and sore.

"I don't know all the details. Whoever is behind this organized it quite well. We were all attacked around the same time. I got the call that he didn't make it. We're having a funeral next week and you have to be there. You all have to be there."

"We're not going. We can't go to that."

"Justin, it's time to come home, back to Chicago."

I knew he was going to say that. I knew it.

"I'll take care of everything, but… I need you here. There are too many things working against us right now and I need to present a united front for the family."

"What family?" I spat. "Don't pretend like…"

"Justin, I don't have time to argue with you anymore. You're coming home. I'm glad you're all safe, but this has gone on far enough. I can't keep you hidden any longer. If Selena would like to come then I can make arraignments for her as well, but you need to tell her that she's in no way bound to you. Make it clear that she is free to leave whenever she chooses."

Selena shook her head vehemently with tight lips.

"So, we're just going to pack up and walk into the states like we're normal people?"

"I'm handling it," he replied cryptically. "I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but you and Alec will be here for the family."

"Is that an order?"

"Yes. It's time to come home."

SELENA POV

"Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change."-Stephen R. Covey

All things Twilight related belong to Stephenie Meyer.

I paced the floor in the bathroom and tried not to think negatively, but I had so many things going through my brain that I was starting to get a headache.

We have to go home?

What was home? Home was here, on this island, with Justin and Alec. I didn't know how to live in the real world anymore. It seemed too big after being in the freedom of this place.

Everything had unraveled in a matter of hours.

It was the first time I had put a bullet through a real person, and it was... strange. Shouldn't I have felt some kind of remorse or regret? That's what scared me the most. I didn't feel anything. I had just potentially killed a man and instead of reacting, my body went numb. I was more scared for myself and what that meant. I might need to see a therapist or something.

And then there was a phone call; something so small that changed everything and I wasn't expecting it at all—none of us were.

Of course we had to leave; I knew that much. But going home, back to Chicago? Maybe to some foreign Asian country or a mountainous region where no one could find us. But Chicago? That never crossed my mind as an option. I didn't even think that was a possibility for another decade or so, and I had made peace with that. Now I didn't know what to do.

But before we even touch down at O'Hare, there was business to take care of in Italy. Nicola was dead. It was peculiar to say that out loud, but it was true. He was murdered. Justin and I hadn't talked about it yet. He had been sitting in the library all day, and I didn't dare bother him.

Everyone was going to be at that funeral; Alice, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to act? Plus, I was going to have to contact my parents. Charlie was probably going to kill me and Renee would just scream at me until I was blue in the face. Nothing good could come of it.

I was more worried about how Justin was going to take this sudden thrust back into the new world. He had a better life here. He was calm and healthy and… alive.

Alec stumbled into the bathroom, having to climb over a broken dresser that was still covering the door. I didn't bother cleaning anything up in the house. We were leaving and there wasn't any point. Justin said that Carlisle was having people sterilize the place once we left.

"I hate this shit." He kicked the wall. "I'm not going back."

"Yes, you are," I said strongly.

"No, I'm staying my ass right here and I'm going to go to college here and I'm going to…"

"It's not like you have a choice," I interrupted him. "You can't stay here by yourself."

"So, you want to go home?"

"Sure, it would be great to stay here another couple of years, but we knew this was going to happen." I realized that my dialogue was completely opposite from my thoughts, but I was trying not to show it.

"There's nothing for us back in Chicago." He jumped up on the counter. "What are we supposed to do there?"

"I don't know. Carlisle will figure it out." I started throwing things away in the bathroom just for something to do. We couldn't take much with us, and there were only a couple of things that were of sentimental value anyway.

"And what about you? What are you going to do?"

"I'm going with Justin."

"I know that, but what's back in Chicago for you? Don't you want to go back to Forks?"

"Not to live. I'll go see Charlie." I shrugged.

Alec kicked his feet against the cabinets, and I knew he wanted to say something. "I never thought this was going to happen so fast. I don't know what to say to Ma or… anyone. Are we going to see them at them funeral?"

"I would assume so."

"And then after that?"

"I'm not sure," I answered honestly.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes. It began to rain outside, and the pounding droplets of water on the roof were starting to make my head hurt again.

"I… just…"Alec began, but bit the inside of his cheek.

"What?"

"Never mind." He shook his head.

"No, tell me."

"Well, you and Justin have been together for three years now and I'm not counting those two you spent apart. You never let each other go either. You were locked up and he waited for you, Selena. He was celibate for two years, waiting for you. You guys are more in love than people who've known each other their whole lives." He paused. "Aren't people supposed to get married by now?"

My heart jumped a little in my chest at the simple word of 'marriage'. We hadn't really ever talked about that since being here. Of course I wanted those things and I wanted them with Justin, but we never discussed it.

"Usually. Maybe." I shrugged as if didn't mean anything. "Why? Did he say anything?"

"No, and that's just stupid to me. He loves you; you love him. Get fucking married."

"You know your brother," I sighed.

"Do you want to get married?"

"Yes," I answered with my head down, "I don't want to push him though."

"Selena, you of all people should know by now that Justin doesn't do anything without a push. He needs a massive kick in the balls."

As I listened to Alec, I started to imagine my life as a wife. Would it be any different from what we had now? We lived together, we shared a life together; we had a home together. Justin would argue that marriage was just a piece of paper that didn't really mean anything. Well, it meant something to me, damn it!

How much longer did he expect me to be his girlfriend? Granted, we were at a much higher level in our relationship and we had a more stable connection than many married couples I knew, but I still wanted that final piece of the puzzle. We weren't going to be alive forever. I just shot someone who died because of the bullets I put through his body. We were just attacked in our house. Mortality and time meant something more to me now that the real world was closing in on us. Both weren't infinite.

I suddenly got pissed. What was wrong with him?

"I'm going to talk to Justin." I scowled. I jumped over the broken dresser and tried not to look at all the blood that was still drying in our bedroom. The smell was horrible.

None of the lights were on when I reached the library, but Justin was sitting in his chair, banging his head on the desk. I let him continue for a little bit before I cleared my throat. I was going to approach this hesitantly or he might shut me out completely.

But I had leverage. If Justin wanted me to come with him, he needed to promise me a future.

"How are you doing?" I asked stupidly.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel… excited about going back. I feel like I might need more time, though."

"You knew this was going to happen. We all knew this was going to happen someday."

"But not today," he groaned. "It's too soon. I don't even know if I can get into the country undetected."

"Probably not." I went over to him and could already see the change in his body. He was rigid and tense, almost as if he was carved from stone.

"Carlisle said he was handling it, but I put too much faith in that man in the past. I need to know what he's planning. I guarantee you there's more to it than what he said over the phone."

"He knows what he's doing," I assured him.

"And then what am I supposed to say to Esme or my brothers? This is not going to end well."

"Probably not," I said again. "Um, we need to talk." I sat in the chair near the desk.

"I thought that's what we were doing?" He raised his head.

"I know I said that I would go back with you, but I don't think I'm going to," I said flatly and incredibly calm, not showing any signs of wavering.

Justin blinked a couple of times, soaking up what I just said, but didn't reply right away. It took at least a minute for him to respond, "Okay. Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know. Spend time with Charlie or go visit my mother. I like Florida."

"So… is this a permanent thing?"

"Might be." I bit my lip.

"I don't want you to go to Florida." Justin raised an eyebrow and spoke powerfully, "I want you to stay with me."

"For how long?" I asked, getting to the root of the conversation.

"What?"

"How long do you want me to stay with you?"

"Forever," he said, clearly confused.

"Forever isn't an option, Justin. We don't have forever."

"You're sounding very morose today. What brought this on?" He leaned back in his seat.

"The fact that I just shot someone. It occurred to me this morning while men were tearing apart our house that you could be gone at any second. Or me for that matter." I stopped myself from rambling.

"What are you talking about?"

"Justin, I'm not going back with you. What do I have back in Chicago?"

"A life… with me." He squinted, almost angrily.

"A life as your girlfriend," I stated. "I've followed you down here and I said I would stay. I did, but now what? We're going back in the same position that we were in. Nothing's changed. Give me one good reason why I should go back with you." I realized that I sounded like a bitch right now, but this was long overdue.

Thank you, Alec!

Justin wasn't stupid. It didn't take him long to fill in the gaps of things that I couldn't say.

"Are you trapping me?" he asked, his voice going up an octave in semi-shock and disgust. "You are, aren't you?"

"It's an ultimatum," I put it in better terms. "I won't go back to Chicago with you unless you have some sort of promise for me. I can't be your girlfriend until we die."

"After all we've been through, you're tapping me into marrying you? You won't go back to Chicago unless we get married?" Fire was in his eyes, but I didn't back down.

"I shouldn't have to trap youas you so eloquently put it. I've been waiting for you to take some kind of step in regards to our future."

"You want a piece of paper to define our relationship?"

"Yes," I said shortly, "I want that piece of paper."

"You are going about this all wrong," He snapped his jaw shut.

"What would you want me to do, Justin? I have no hope of a future back there. Why should I go back?"

"Never once have you brought this up to me. You never even told me that marriage was on your mind."

I admit; that was my fault. I just assumed that maybe we would end up there one day. I figured he was on the same path, but I was obviously wrong. Would I even go through with this plan if Justin called my bluff? I couldn't let myself think that far.

I spoke more calmly. "I just realize now that we can't stay on this island for the rest of our lives and I don't want to go back with nothing to show for these past two years. You and I know both know that things won't be so carefree in Chicago as they are here."

Justin didn't have any way of denying that.

"I love you and I want to be your wife," I said clearly. "I'm sorry if that's not what you want, but I'm not going to waste time with you anymore if there's no future."

I was actually surprised by my boldness. I had never spoken to Justin this way or made my intentions known.

"So you think that all this time has been a waste?" He swallowed the large lump is his throat.

"That's not what I said,"

"Yes, it is." He dug through his desk. He muttered under his breath for a minute before slamming a drawer shut.

Justin turned something over in his hands a couple of times before looking at me with his green eyes that that I loved so much. He lightly placed a small velvet box on the top of the desk and then slid it towards me before getting up from his chair.

"All you had to do was wait, Selena."

He exited the room quickly, leaving me alone and deflated.

Even without opening the box, I knew what was in it. It was screaming at me, making sure my stupidity would never be forgotten. I didn't regret what I said to Justin; it needed to be said. Did I wish I had went about it a different way? Yes.

I had to stop my hand from shaking as I reached for the box and opened it.

The square diamond was rather large, but the rest of the ring was simple and understated. The band, which was made of a shiny and cold piece of beautiful silver, was dotted with smaller diamonds that sparkled even thought there was barely any light in the room.

My heart was thundering as I picked the ring up and examined it. How long had he had this? Why wouldn't he give it to me?

I put the ring back in the box and took it with me as I searched for Justin. Alec was cleaning up the rubble downstairs and without lifting his head said, "He's at the bar."

I went to the other side of the house where Justin kept his liquor stash. He had a whole room for it and there was such a wide variety from almost every country I could think of. It was left untouched by the invaders who had attacked in the early morning hours. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Justin had his back turned to me as he poured a tawny colored liquid into a glass. The ice cubes clinked together as the liquor filled the cup. He took a long draw, but still didn't acknowledge my arrival.

I walked quietly, barely making any noise as I stepped closer to him.

"I bought that for you on your last birthday. I didn't know when I was going to give it to you, but I had it." He exhaled.

"It's beautiful,"

"I won't tell you how much it cost."

"Why didn't you ever mention this?"

"I was scared," He admitted. That was something completely out of character for Justin. I had only heard those words come out of his mouth maybe one other time.

"About?" I stepped in front of him, in between his body and the bar, "Tell me."

"I know one successful marriage and that's my parents, but even they have had their problems. It's not easy keeping it together in their world, but they've done it. I'm not as mature as Carlisle. I wouldn't be able to give you a life like that."

Justin's head was down , but I lifted it up so I could see him, "Do you want to marry me?"

"Yes, I would like to try, but I can't do that to you. You're settling for me."

"I'm settling?"

"You need a normal guy. Once we return to Chicago, you and I both know that I'm going to get sucked into the old life. Go back to Forks. Find someone better." He took the ring from my hands and put it in his pocket.

The one thing about Justin was that he was good with words. Emotions, not so much, but he could verbally tell me anything. He must seriously think that I would go down without a fight. Justin's pride was everything to him and I had just broken that.

"If I attempt to marry you, it wouldn't be something perfect, which I know is what you want and need." He said regretfully.

"Since when has anything about us ever been perfect?"

"That's true, but can you see me as a conventional husband? I can't."

"Is it any different from what we have now? You would make a great husband…for me. For some other woman, maybe not, but I'm not worried about anyone else."

He thought for a second, "No, I guess not. I'm just so uncertain. Things will crumble if we take that next step."

"I'm not saying we get married next week or even in the next couple of months, but…I want that promise. I want to know that it's on your mind."

"It has been since we got here," Justin's voice was so full of assurance that it made me shudder, "We were going to have a child together, Selena and I told you that things like marriage and babies weren't necessarily my style, but with you…it seems like a better option. I do love you."

I couldn't' stop the corners of my mouth from lifting up into a smile, "That's sweet," I said, not being able to match anything he just uttered.

"I will give you anything you want," His arms trapped me against the bar, "I do want to marry you one day. I'm not just saying that so you'll come back with me. It's the truth."

"So, we're going to do this?" I asked hopefully, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes," An undistinguishable grin spread across his face. It was one I had never seen before and I didn't know what it meant, "Would you like to be Isabella Bieber?"

That caught me slightly off guard, hearing it like that, "I would like that very much."

"Good," He kissed me, his lips hot and filled with that promise which I begged for. We he finally let me go, I was out of breath and dizzy.

"I guess we'll talk about it more when we get back home?" I asked, guessing that the family needed to be taken care of first.

"Home?"

"Our home, in Chicago."

"That's what I wanted to hear. I'm not even going to ask if you would really think about leaving me. I don't want to know."

"Then I'll never tell you," I wrapped my arms around his neck, "It's just nice to have a proposal."

"I hope you don't think that was a proposal. I might be a bastard with an anger problem, but I at least know how to be romantic sometimes." He scoffed.

"I'll be waiting with bated breath," I pecked his neck.

This was how our arguments usually went. We fight and yell at each other, but after a couple minutes to calm down, it's as if nothing had happened. We were still the same Justin and Selena who loved each other beyond a doubt.

"Are you ready to go home?" He asked me.

"No," I said truthfully, "I would rather stay here. We're safe here."

"Not anymore,"

Neither Alec, Justin, or I slept much that night. We sat on the beach with a fire raging, and small pieces of beef that Justin cooked for us to eat. I felt like maybe we should be talking about the future more, but as of now we were just watching the waves. It was our last night in paradise, our last night of freedom.

I laid on Justin's chest the entire night, listening to the sounds around me mainly, his heart, and his breathing.

By the time the sun came up, we were all filled with anticipation, anxiousness, nervousness, and a little fear on my part. Justin and Alec would never show any sign of that though. They were both staying calm and strong for me.

As if we always knew this was our temporary home, we left the island without fanfare or sadness. It was almost like the numbness of the past twenty-four hours was setting in. We each had a bag of whatever we wanted to bring, but nothing was that important.

Alec drove the boat and the island got smaller as we traveled towards Rio.

Since the plane wasn't leaving until later tonight, we spent the entire day walking the city. We kept our heads down because Justin didn't trust anyone anymore. He said that our identities weren't safe. Someone knew he was alive and they knew where we were.

"What do you think Ma's going to say?" Alec asked as we all sat on a bench in the luscious green park in the middle of the city.

"She's going to kill us," Justin said, "We kept this from her for two years. She won't be happy and probably won't ever forgive us. Especially not Carlisle."

If I was in her situation, I would be the same way.

"I hope he told her something," I sighed, feeling horrible for Esme.

"And what about Grandpa? How do you think everyone's handling that?" Alec rested his elbows on his knees.

"I guess we'll find out in about fourteen hours." Justin's speech was like it used to be. Cold. Calculating. Suspicious. Deadly.

We continued to sit in relative silence for the rest of the day.

The sun set around us as the private plane took off from the tarmac. By the time we were in the air, Alec had fallen asleep and Justin was reading some files that were overflowing with papers. I didn't know what they said, but he had on his 'serious, don't bother me, work', black rimmed glasses. I rested my head on his shoulder and fell asleep within a couple of seconds.

I woke up a couple hours later in complete darkness. Justin and Alec were talking in hushed voices, but I knew by now to ignore their words until they decided to inform me. It would do no good to snoop. I went back to sleep.

Again, a couple of hours later, I woke up and the sky was still outside. I never really realized how long this plane ride was going to take, but I was starting to get more apprehensive with each passing minute. Was this a good idea? I didn't have the answer to that just yet.

I noticed that Alec and Justin had changed out of the clothes we came in so I did the same, dressing in jeans and a light jacket. I had never been to Italy. Hell, I had barely ever been out of the United States, so I didn't know if it was cold or not in Rome.

Justin was still sitting next to me with his glasses on, his head deep in concentration. I pulled my legs up under me when I sat back down and turned towards him, "Have you called Carlisle?"

"No," He answered, "I wouldn't know what to say."

"What are you reading?"

"Our papers for later when we get back to the states. Getting into Italy won't be hard, since I'm not a criminal there. By the time they run my passport, we'll be gone so it won't matter."

"How long does it take to run a passport?" I asked, worried that there must be some flaw in his plan. This just seemed too easy.

"My name will come up on the database as being someone that needs to be investigated, but I'm haven't committed a crime in Italy so it's not like they can arrest me. According to Carlisle, he's dealing with the rest. I guess I'll have to talk to him when we get there."

"How are you feeling about your grandfather?" I rested my head on the plush seat behind me.

"I'm not sure," He admitted, "It's so strange. He was one of those people you thought would never die, you know?"

I nodded, "He was a really strong man."

"I just need to know what happened, with everything. Why is this happening?"

"I don't know," I took his hand and entwined our fingers.

"Living back in Chicago is going to be so odd after all this."

"Do we have a house or somewhere to stay?" I asked.

"Don't worry about anything."

I never did when Justin was in charge. He always took care of everything.

"I need to call Charlie and Renee even though I have no idea what to say to them. I guess we're both in the same boat in dealing with our parents."

"Will they be mad?"

"Renee will be at first, but she'll get over it quickly. Charlie will probably kill me and then come for you."

Justin chuckled for the first time in days, "That sounds fun."

"Are you going to be in the family business when we get back?" I said with false enthusiasm.

"Most definitely. It's not even an option at this point. Carlisle called me back for a reason. Mob life is something you can't ever get away from."

"Wonderful," I rolled my eyes.

"You sound apprehensive."

"I'm fine with it. I just hope you can handle everything."

"I'm a professional. I never lose my touch."

"Then I'll get on board."

"When we get back to Chicago, I want you to get a job." Justin said out of the blue.

"A job?"

"Yes. I don't want you to waste away at home while I'm working with whatever the hell Carlisle has up his sleeve. You have a degree, use it and not at some bar. A real job."

"That was the plan,"

"Good. You can't sit at home and worry about me all day."

"I'll always worry about you, but a job would help keep my mind occupied and busy."

It wasn't like we needed the money and any salary I had, Justin wouldn't accept it to pay for something. He was very adamant about taking care of me. After two years, I stopped fighting him. My paycheck from the bar always went to a charity. I would keep some for myself, but not much.

I guess it was time for me to grow up.

It took another couple of hours before my ears started popping and the plane began descending rapidly. My heart was in my throat and I braced myself for the landing, which came rougher than I remember. The plane slowed while taxing.

Justin and Alec seemed calm as usual, not a breath out of place or eye movement that showed a slight sign of worry. I tried to mimic them, but it wasn't working. I'm sure I ended up looking constipated.

The plane stopped completely on the soil of a new country. Everything was different; the sun, the sky, the clouds, the city. I could see the red brick roofs of Rome in the distance and the beautiful slopping hills of the Italian countryside in the opposite direction.

Alec tapped on the window and waved, "Look who it is."

Carlisle was standing at the entrance to the runway, leaning against a black car with sunglasses on. He looked so professional—just like I remembered him— in his suit and the stern, but warm smile. He nodded cautiously when he saw Alec wave.

I think he was testing our reactions to each other. I definitely had a few things to say to Carlisle, but right now I was just happy to see a familiar face. We would deal with everything later after the funeral. He was probably upset about losing his grandfather. I didn't want to trouble him further. We would have plenty of time for accusations and finger pointing after all this was over.

Before we could exit the plane, a customs official came on to search the interior. Since we were coming from Brazil the man claimed that he needed backup to help look for drugs.

He spoke Italian quickly into a headset, After spending so much time with Justin over the years, I had picked up the language pretty expertly. Justin, Alec, and I would talk in Italian frequently in Brazil so that we didn't have to lower our voices in the city. Not surprisingly, I understood everything that the official said and he was a hardnosed newbie who was trying to do a thorough job. He didn't trust Justin just by looking at him.

We had to spend an extra hour on the plane while it was searched.

Justin handed him fake passports, which I didn't even know he had and I tried not to look at the man while he examined them. I had a good poker face, but I still think people could tell when I was lying. I had been working on that though.

Finally, we were let off of the plane.

Alec practically ran towards Carlisle and they were both smiling like Christmas morning as they embraced each other. The separation was now over. Justin took my hand quickly as we walked towards Carlisle who was occupied in examining his son.

"I see Selena's been feeding you well." Carlisle held Alec at arm's length, inspecting him.

"Yeah, but I work out like crazy. Justin makes me."

"Good," Carlisle nodded and then lifted his head towards me, "Beautiful as ever."

"Hi, Sir." I let go of Justin's hand as he pulled me towards him. His arms were strong around my shoulders and I felt some of the anger from the past melting off of me, "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too," I said truthfully. We had another couple of seconds in contact and I could almost hear his apologies, but not one confession came out of his mouth.

"I can't believe you're really here." He laughed heartily, "It's been too long. I'm glad you came back. We needed you." "

"I know." I looked him up and down, "You look good."

"Why thank you," He held out his arms, "I've tried to keep myself up with the young kids."

He really did look the same. Nothing was out of place from his perfectly sculpted, clean shaven face to his golden hair. There wasn't a wrinkle on his skin, or any signs of aging in his crystal blue eyes.

"I know we need to talk later," He whispered to me, "But I'm really glad you decided to come."

"I am too. I'm not going anywhere."

He let go of me and looked up at his other son, "Hello, Justin."

"Carlisle," Justin replied, coldly.

The tension crept on us like an invisible fog and the happy celebration became awkward. I went back to Justin's side and took his hand. By the position of his body and tone of his voice, I could tell he was trying not to let loose his anger.

"The tan is new," Carlisle stated as if it wasn't obvious, "You look healthy."

Justin opened his mouth to say something, but then decided against it. He rolled his eyes, and pulled me towards the limo, which Carlisle was leaning on before. He opened the door and all but pushed me in. Alec and Carlisle followed a second later. The car pulled away from the airport and the beautiful city of Rome started to pass us by.

"So, the funeral is tomorrow morning and we'll be staying at a hotel in the city until we drive out to the country." Carlisle said, mostly to Alec since Justin was ignoring him.

"What happened to Grandpa? He wasn't supposed to die for like…another fifty years." Alec said. I think he really believe it was possible for Nicola to live that long.

"He went out fighting, that's for sure. Like with the rest of us, those guys came and tried to storm the house. I've been out there. About half of it is burned to the ground. It's being restored as we speak, but there was a lot of damage."

"What the hell did they want with him?" Alec was now angry.

"I don't know. They sound like the same ones who got you on the island. They were just given instructions and carried them out. I'm working on it now."

"They want us all dead," Justin muttered.

"I think Nicola killed about half of them before he just couldn't hold out any longer." Carlisle chuckled.

"Wow," I said in awe. He sure was a fighter.

"Justin, you and Selena probably won't want to meet Esme today. She knows Alec's here, but that's it."

"You haven't told her anything in two years?" I asked.

He exhaled heavily and shook his head, "It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I'm glad it'll finally be over."

"She's going to cut your balls off," Justin commented, looking out of the window.

"I know. All of us for that matter."

"Um, so how is Justin getting back into the country?" Alec asked, trying to diffuse the stiffness in the car.

Carlisle sat up straighter, "Well, in case you didn't know, faking your own death is a crime. The statute of limitations on all the other charges ran out after they couldn't find you after the first year. It wasn't like they could bring you to court so they had to drop them."

"Convenient," I sighed in relief, thankful that Justin wasn't being sought out by the law.

"Unfortunately, like I said, faking your death was illegal, but I've found a way around it."

"Which is?" Alec asked, confused by the turn of events.

"I've been working with a judge for a week to get Justin back without it being an issue. I convinced him that Justin was acting under self-defense. According to the law, a person can do whatever he needs to do to protect himself. It was a stretch, but it worked. Justin was being hunted by Aro who was certainly going to kill him. We had to do what needed to be done."

Like almost everything in the world of crime, that theory sounded entirely too farfetched, but completely solid. I don't know how he did it, but Carlisle could sell the sky to God. Everything that came out of his mouth sounded so genuinely truthful, that you had to believe him.

"Will that work?" Justin asked, only half sounding like he cared.

"Yes," Carlisle said with conviction, "It will work because I've set up your arrival home without a hitch. No one knows, especially your mother or Aro, but I think it will make social news when Justin Bieber lands back in Chicago."

"When can we see them?" I asked, my voice only a whisper.

"The family is kind of sad right now. I think we should wait until after the funeral. We're all at the same hotel, you and Justin are just going to be a floor above us. Tomorrow, we'll start getting everyone reintroduced, I guess." For the first time, Carlisle looked apprehensive about the future.

"Joy," Justin banged his head on the seat behind him.

I was never much of a religious person, but as the house and buildings of Rome blurred by us, I sent up a silent prayer not only for mercy, but for luck as well.

This was going to be one hell of a funeral.

[biofunmy]

A 19th-Century Home in Brooklyn Gets a 21st-Century Makeover

When Bobby Johnston and Ruth Mandl found the townhouse they wanted to buy in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, it had just one glaringly obvious problem: It was too nice.

“We were originally looking for something that was pretty dilapidated,” Ms. Mandl said. “And this one looked a lot more pristine than we thought we wanted.”

Mr. Johnston, 39, and Ms. Mandl, 36, are married architects who run the firm CO Adaptive, and they were keen to do a gut renovation that reflected their ideas on design and sustainability, while also making space for children.

On a professional level, “we wanted the opportunity to renovate something of our own,” Ms. Mandl said, noting that they previously lived in a one-bedroom apartment in nearby Bushwick. On a personal level, she added, “we were thinking of starting a family and wanted more space and access to a backyard.”

The handsome 1889 townhouse they found on a charming tree-lined block was not what they envisioned. It had been beautifully preserved over the years and still had its original intricate woodwork and plaster molding intact.

“You could tell that somebody had loved it through its entire life, and taken good care of it,” Ms. Mandl said.

The townhouse was also a single-family home, and they were hoping for a two-family house that could generate income and help them secure a larger mortgage. But after deals on two other houses fell through, they were getting impatient, so they went to see it anyway.

“We completely fell in love with the block, the house and the yard,” Ms. Mandl said. “And we were the only people at the open house.”

They moved quickly and struck a creative deal to buy it: They would pay $1.4 million, but only if they were allowed to complete a targeted, temporary renovation to convert the house into a two-family home before the closing.

“We filed with the city to get a Letter of No Objection for it to be a two-family,” Mr. Johnston said. “And we did a quick $4,000 renovation to add a second kitchen and a dividing wall between two units, so we were able to leverage a mortgage for a two-family.”

They closed in July 2016 after selling their Bushwick apartment, which had roughly doubled in value over the previous five years, and split the profit between the new purchase and anticipated renovation costs. Then they got to work.

As proponents of sustainable building, they wanted to design their home according to passive house standards that would radically reduce the building’s energy consumption. And as practitioners of modern architecture, they wanted to make it lighter and brighter, and introduce simple, clean-lined details.

Finding themselves with a bonanza of late 19th-century architectural details, however, they decided to split the difference and blend the new with the old. When demolition began in March 2017, Mr. Johnston and Ms. Mandl instructed their contractor, LB General Contracting, to gingerly pry out and preserve every significant piece of woodwork while stripping the interior down to the studs.

They erected a tent in the backyard to store the material they planned to reinstall and donated the rest to the architectural salvage store Big Reuse. Hoping to keep a few of the plaster elements, but unable to move them for construction, they left a decorative archway and an ornate ceiling medallion in place on the parlor level and crossed their fingers. The archway survived, but vibrations from the construction work eventually sent the medallion crashing to the floor.

With the townhouse cleared out and opened up, they began adding the elements necessary to make it a super-insulated, airtight passive house, an incredibly energy-efficient type of building that is beginning to catch on with homeowners and developers.

Heating and cooling a passive house uses “a fraction of the energy you need for a regular building — like, one-tenth,” said Andreas M. Benzing, the president of New York Passive House, a nonprofit organization.

Where passive house projects were relatively rare just a few years ago, there are now 169 across New York State, either completed or in the works, Mr. Benzing said. They include private homes as well as large-scale developments like Sendero Verde, an affordable housing project spanning a full city block in East Harlem, with a target completion date of 2022, that aspires to be one of the largest passive house projects in the world.

To convert their 19th-century townhouse, Mr. Johnston and Ms. Mandl expanded the depth of the front wall by about a foot to add extensive new insulation. They installed triple-glazed tilt-and-turn windows with gaskets. They sealed walls and ceilings with an Intello air barrier. They installed motorized exterior blinds that, unlike curtains, can block sunlight before it enters the house on hot summer days.

With such measures in place, they no longer needed a conventional furnace, so they capped the gas line at the street. An energy-recovery ventilator provides fresh, filtered air from outside, while capturing and recycling heat from exhausted indoor air, and a small electric split heating-and-cooling system provides a boost, when needed.

Those electric components are powered by a photovoltaic system on the roof, which also provides more than enough power for the home’s appliances and lights, as well as an electric-car charging station in the front yard. Once a week or so, they run a cable across the sidewalk to the street, to charge their BMW i3.

“Even with charging the car fully at home, we’re still net positive,” Mr. Johnston said, explaining that they generate more electricity than they use and feed the surplus back to the grid.

While reducing — or reversing — their energy consumption was a priority, Ms. Mandl said, she initially became interested in building a passive house after experiencing the comfort of her parents’ passive house in Vienna. The feeling inside is one of “amazing luxury,” she said, thanks to the fresh air and consistent temperature. “There’s just no temperature jump. You can sit by the window during a blizzard and not feel any draft.”

Another benefit of an airtight house is that it is incredibly quiet. Street noise stays on the street, Mr. Johnston said. “It’s completely soundproof.”

Mr. Johnston and Ms. Mandl also decided to soundproof the rooms inside their home after attending dinner parties at friends’ houses where “everybody has to whisper while the kids are asleep,” Mr. Johnston said.

Ms. Mandl had given birth to their daughter, Lucia, now 2, just weeks before they started construction, and they didn’t want to have to worry about noise once they moved in. They installed acoustic mats beneath floors, a double layer of drywall with sound-deadening Green Glue on the walls, and interior doors with gaskets and drop seals.

“We can have dinner parties downstairs when she’s asleep upstairs,” Ms. Mandl said, “and she would never even know that there’s loud music.”

The primary residence occupies about 1,400 square feet on the top two floors. On the parlor level, the couple installed a large, modern kitchen with Reform cabinet doors over Ikea carcasses in a space that was previously a back parlor, as well as a powder room and laundry area with frosted-glass doors and walls.

Upstairs, they carved out three bedrooms, including a master suite with an en suite bathroom, and a second bathroom split between a toilet room and a shower room, which Ms. Mandl said is typical in her native Austria.

They reinstalled and painted the original woodwork they had saved in the backyard tent, and had an artisan add new plaster crown molding in the living room that is similar to what was there before. After introducing thicker walls and new windows, the original window trim was no longer compatible, so Mr. Johnston and Ms. Mandl decided to play up the difference by giving the openings a simple plywood edge, a detail that they also used for interior doorways. In the kitchen, they designed a custom plywood pegboard wall with adjustable shelves.

On the garden level, they created a 700-square-foot, two-bedroom apartment with similar details. The downstairs unit was completed first, so Mr. Johnston and Ms. Mandl moved into it with their daughter in April 2018, as work continued upstairs. The rest of the project was completed five months later, at a total cost of $720,000, and the family moved upstairs.

Now, they rent out the downstairs apartment on Airbnb when not using it to entertain family and friends. Their hope is that opening their home to visitors will introduce others to the advantages of a passive house.

“I feel that you have to experience it in order to fully appreciate it,” Ms. Mandl said. “We leave a flyer for them, so even if they’ve never heard of it, they get to read about what it is.”

Sahred From Source link Real Estate

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[wallythayer]

16 Ways to Move More

We’re a nation of sitters. Thanks to TV binge watching, desk jobs, and the ever-present allure of the Internet, the simple art of moving — at work and at home, indoors and out — is disappearing.

A 2011 study found that Americans spend more than half their waking hours sitting down — and at a considerable cost to our health. The more we sit, researchers discovered, the higher our risk of first-world illnesses of affluence: diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular disease, and cancer.

“Our physicality is like an endangered species, and that’s potentially catastrophic,” says Frank Forencich, founder of Exuberant Animal, a health-leadership organization that advocates for our connection with nature, our bodies, and our communities. “Losing physicality would be like losing all the artwork from all the great museums of the world.”

The disheartening kicker is that formal exercise — walking, cycling, or hitting the gym for the recommended half-hour or so every day — does little to protect us from these health risks. A study in The Lancet warned that only the most dedicated exercisers (those who exercised 60 to 75 minutes daily) could effectively undo the damaging effects of a sedentary lifestyle.

“We live in an alien environment,” similar to animals in captivity, says Forencich. Cars, easy chairs, couches, smooth walking surfaces, refrigerators, climate control, and, of course, computers all conspire to keep us comfortable and sedentary.

So it may be time for a shift in how we think about physical activity. For our long-term health and well-being, we need to recognize that it’s as important to decrease overall sedentary time as it is to maintain a regular practice of intense, formal exercise.

Without turning back the clock, quitting our 9-to-5 jobs, or forgoing modern conveniences, we need to figure out ways to resist the siren call of the sofa and work more movement into our daily lives.

To help you do that, we hit up some of the world’s foremost experts in movement, fitness, and lifestyle for strategies on staying in motion in a sedentary world.

1. Lend a Hand

Most of us go out of our way to avoid chores. We let dirty dishes pile up, hope someone else changes the water jug at work, and pay the neighbor’s kid to shovel the walk. But performing these brief physical tasks has benefits beyond breaking up sitting time. A 2015 study published in the journal Mindfulness showed that paying attention to subtle sensations — say, texture and temperature while washing dishes — could reduce nervousness and increase inspiration to be more active.

2. Hit the Deck

Sitting, lying, kneeling, or squatting on or as close to the floor as much as possible can pay big dividends in hip mobility, spine health, and kinesthetic awareness, while simultaneously encouraging more movement.

“Reclaim the ground as much as possible,” says MovNat founder Erwan Le Corre, author of The Practice of Natural Movement. Even while working on your laptop, playing with your children, or brushing your teeth, “you can extend your legs forward, bring them to the side, sit on your heels, squat.”

3. Steal Steps

In 2017 researchers examined the walking habits of people from 46 countries and found that, on average, Americans take fewer than 4,800 steps per day — below the worldwide average and less than half the 10,000 steps (roughly five miles) many health experts recommend.

So whenever and wherever you can, steal a few hundred steps. Park farther away from the door at the mall; take the stairs, not the elevator; get off the bus a stop or two early. Small changes can net you several thousand extra steps a day.

4. Play in Your Environment

Your surroundings dictate your movements, says Le Corre. If you have the luxury to make a change, choose where you live with movement in mind. Do you have access to open space, woods, mountains, water? If you live in a city, is there a park near home, work, or both? Are nearby streets safe and clean for a bit of urban exploring? Can you access green spaces given the other demands in your life?

Just venturing outdoors means you’re more likely to be in motion. It also lifts your mood: A 2015 study found that a 90-minute walk in nature reduced activity in an area of the brain associated with depression. People who took their walks in a high-traffic urban setting showed no such reduction.

“Ultimately, where you live is the No. 1 consideration for healthy, frequent movement,” Le Corre says.

5. Enlist Canine Support

Dogs may be the ultimate workout partners; they’re always up for fun and play. That combination makes them good motivators: A 2017 study published in BMC Public Health found that dog owners exercised 22 more minutes per day (usually in the form of moderate-intensity walking) than people without dogs.

No pups in the family? Don’t worry. Consider offering to walk neighbors’ or friends’ dogs, or begin volunteering at a shelter near your home. (For an inspiring story about the health rewards of dog ownership, visit “Eric O’Grey’s Success Story.”)

6. Walk and Talk

Conversation is an important part of life, but only convention says you need to do it sitting down. In fact, conversation may be more gratifying and productive in combination with movement: A 2014 study found that walking boosts creativity and increases the free flow of ideas.

So, go ahead and grab that coffee with your friend — but instead of taking a seat, walk while you talk. Ditto for phone conversations, which you can conduct on your cell phone using headphones virtually anywhere. You’ll squeeze additional movement in — up to several hours a week — and may enjoy livelier conversations, too.

7. Reframe Your Mindset

When Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer, PhD, told a group of hotel maids that their daily tasks counted as exercise, it led to measurable improvements in their blood pressure, body fat, and waist-to-hip ratio after one month, compared with the control group.

The takeaway from this 2007 research? How you feel about movement — whether or not it counts as exercise — makes a difference in how it affects you.

Reframe physical tasks like making beds, cooking, and sweeping as mini-investments in your health to reap greater benefits.

8. Gear Up

When you dress inappropriately for the season, you create a built-in excuse for staying indoors and for moving less. Conversely, says Forencich, “when you have the right gear, you’ll get outside more often.”

Essentials include cool, nonrestrictive summer clothes, such as a bathing suit; shoes you can comfortably walk in, regardless of weather or terrain; warm gloves and a hat for the cold; and a high-quality winter coat that’s made for movement, not just for warmth.

9. Reconsider Your Space

The configuration of your home is also a key factor in how you move, whether you live in a house or an apartment. Do you have open space in your home to crawl, stretch, and jump? Are there stairs to climb? Is there a backyard to explore?

If your home is brimming with plush, tempting spots to sit, chances are you’ll wind up in them more often than you intend, says Forencich. “Rethink your furniture and get rid of unnecessary temptations to sit down.”

It’s possible to take this to the extreme. Katy Bowman, author of Movement Matters and Move Your DNA, did away with her couch and dining-room chairs and installed monkey bars in her home. Still, even small changes to the environment can make a difference. Consider leaving hand weights or a yoga mat in the living room, or installing a pull-up bar in a frequently used doorway.

Or simply try different ways to sit without pulling up a chair. See if you can squat, kneel, stand, and lean with legs in different configurations. (Learn more about Bowman’s strategies for more everyday movement in “Purposeful Movement.”)

10. Get Grateful

How you move, it turns out, is just as important as the movement itself.

“Most people think primarily about the quantity of movement they’re getting: how many miles they ran, or steps they took, or reps they did,” says Le Corre. But the quality of your movement is equally, if not more, valuable to your health.

Ask yourself: “How am I sitting? How am I getting off the floor?” Check in with your body, energy, and mood.

By paying more attention to your alignment, breath, and ease of movement, even in simple tasks like driving, standing in line, and checking your phone, you increase awareness and enjoyment in movement.

11. Empower Yourself

Fitness products and programs can make us feel less empowered to be physical on our own.

Don’t let that happen to you! Remember, the point of formal training is to make movement more accessible and joyful in your life outside the gym. So, if you’re a regular exerciser, start putting your fitness into play everywhere else: Join teams, run 5Ks, take hikes.

“People do lunges and twists as part of a functional routine,” says Le Corre. “But they’re afraid to play soccer or Frisbee — which use exactly the same movements. It doesn’t have to be complicated.”

12. Fly Fit

Air travel is usually cited for its pitfalls: chiefly, long hours in a confined seated position. But it also offers some overlooked opportunities for movement.

“On the plane, stretch to reach overhead whenever you think of it,” says Jolie Kobrinsky, a trainer and functional-fitness expert whose mission includes helping people “unstick” themselves from patterns of inactivity.

When you get up to use the bathroom, circle your arms and roll your shoulders, she suggests. At the gate, walk around and stretch rather than planting yourself in a chair. You’re not only moving, but you’ll also arrive at your destination feeling fresher.

13. Master Mini-Workouts

Many people assume that healthy movement must take place at a certain time, at a certain place, in certain clothes: the 6 a.m. yoga class in your flowy pants or the 7 a.m. boot camp in your camo headband.

But you can move virtually anywhere, anytime — for as long as you wish, wearing anything you like.

“Get up and walk for a few minutes every 20 to 30 minutes you’re sitting down,” says Lynn Shuck, a Minnesota-based yoga instructor who teaches Eischens, an alignment-based style that uses weight resistance to activate underused muscles.

Her advice to move when and where you can applies whether you’re at work, at home, or waiting at the airport. Every time you pass through a doorway, stretch your arms overhead on the door frame, she suggests. Stretch your calves; get into a half-kneeling pose and stretch your hips for a 30- to 60-second hold.

If you’re up for something more vigorous, try two rounds of 30-second sets of body-weight squats, hands-elevated pushups, reverse lunges, and jumping jacks to get your heart seriously pounding. It will take less than five minutes.

(For more quick-hit workout ideas, check out “Take Five.”)

14. Take a Stand

The jury is still out on whether stand-up or walking desks directly affect health and productivity. Some studies have shown modest improvements in workplace performance, mood, and back pain; other research suggests they’re unlikely to facilitate weight loss — or even significantly decrease sitting time.

Still, a stand-up option at your desk undoubtedly increases your options for healthy movement throughout your workday: You can place a book under the balls of your feet and stretch your calves, or put your knee on your desk in a half-pigeon pose and stretch your hips. You’re also more inclined to shift positions, to walk down the hall to talk to a colleague, or to visit the water cooler for some hydration at a moment’s notice.

Advising people to just stand up isn’t a cure-all, says Kobrinsky. “But standing more can definitely be part of a healthier, more movement-rich lifestyle.”

15. Go Small

Most people think big movement patterns — squatting, running, jumping — form the crux of physical fitness, but your smallest body parts can dramatically affect how you feel and move. Specifically, experts suggest homing in on the feet to get a big bang for your fitness buck.

“There are 33 joints in the feet,” says Shuck. “We use about three of them.”

Our feet are designed for varied terrain, she says, but hard-soled shoes and unvaryingly flat walking surfaces offer them little stimulation. Solve that by going barefoot whenever convenient and massaging the soles of your feet by rolling them over a small ball when you can.

Opening up the fascia and musculature that run between and around your foot joints not only feels good on the spot at that moment; this small action can also release the hamstrings, hips, and lower back — setting you up for even more good-feeling movement later.

16. Pay it Forward

“Physicality is not just about our personal health. It’s a gift we pass on to future generations,” says Forencich. So, whether or not you’re raising children of your own, embrace opportunities to enable and encourage young people to move — vigorously, joyously, frequently. Run around with your kids, nieces, and nephews at the park instead of sitting on the sidelines. Coach a team or help teach a sports or exercise-based class. And model a movement-rich lifestyle for everyone around you.

“The most potent influence on kids is adults’ behavior — not what they say, but what they do,” Forencich says.

Get the full story at https://experiencelife.com/article/16-ways-to-move-more/