#and realizing ON HIS OWN that what really matters is not something eddie offhandedly said to some random people

[sibylsleaves]

i feel like i've zeroed in on what is so baffling about people being so pressed about buck's feelings being **ignored** or **dismissed** (other than people doing the exact same thing to eddie's feelings) and it's that people are looking at it like this:

buck hears that he doesn't matter to eddie -> buck's feelings are hurt and acts out irrationally in response to this due in large part to his abandonment issues -> therefore the resolution is that eddie needs to reassure buck and tell him he matters to him

when in fact what the show is saying is:

buck hears that he doesn't matter to eddie -> buck's feelings are hurt and he acts out irrationally -> the resolution is that buck is able to get past his abandonment issues and realize he is being irrational on his own because deep down he knows how much he matters to Eddie and furthermore that Eddie (and Chris's) happiness matters MORE to him than his own issues

When have we truly seen him work through his issues like this completely on his own? without maddie or bobby or eddie (or josh?) telling him how he should be feeling and what he should be doing? Like this is the character growth that people keep claiming over and over Buck doesn't get!!! But this is proof that he HAS grown!! Like this is what we've been waiting for when it comes to the Buck cycle of abandonment!!!!!!

When it comes to Eddie, Buck is finally able to see past his own issues COMPLETELY ON HIS OWN and take the steps to resolve the conflict between them before it truly gets out of hand. THAT is what was so great about that final argument scene -- we are finally seeing Buck work through and overcome his abandonment issues without requiring someone to reassure him or tell him how he should be feeling. Because Buck is finally secure enough in a relationship to do that. And of course it's significant that it's EDDIE he's able to do this for 🩷

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Never thought twice

A/N: hey guys it’s been awhile. College is killing me lmao. Anyways I hope you enjoy! if anyone has any requests feel free to send them in! 

summary; after Eddie overhears a comment from his coworker, he starts to doubt that he shows his affection for Richie enough.

Eddie had never really given much thought to the way he acted around Richie. They had met so early on in life, that dealing with Richie was just like breathing. He loved all his interactions with Richie, though he could sometimes be a bit much. Back before they started dating, when they were just friends, no- best friends, all they ever did was bicker.

Eddie quite liked the way were around each other, and so even when they changed their relationship to more than friends, it didn’t have an impact on their conversations, and the way they talked to each other.

He never thought twice about how Richie would feel about that. At least he didn’t, until Eddie overheard his coworker jokingly saying to one of her friends that it didn’t seem like him and Richie were a couple. In fact, she had compared their relationship to a train wreck just waiting to happen. She went in great detail about how Eddie never seemed to be affectionate around Richie, and it seemed like he was repulsed by his touch.

Logically, Eddie knew that his coworker was just a gossiper. But that didn’t stop his mind from repeating the words over and over again in his head like a broken record, just like the words of his mom stuck to the edges of his brain, refusing to disappear.

Eddie realized that he wasn’t very touchy feeling with Richie. It just wasn’t his personality. It was Richie’s personality though, and he showed it plenty.

He showed it by constantly touching Eddie in any shape way or form. It wasn’t like Eddie didn’t love it when Richie reached out and grabbed his hands, or when he would randomly stop in the middle of his sentences to reach down and kiss Eddie. It was just that Eddie never initiated these things. He waited until Richie did something, always following his lead when it came to intimacy. it was strange because in every other aspect Eddie had no problem taking matters into his own hands. Richie had helped with that. He felt safe with Richie, and he knew Richie would never ever intentionally or not hurt him. Nevertheless, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about intimacy or his problem with initiating it.

Sofie, the coworker he overheard, knew nothing about Richie and his relationship. Richie loved him, just as much as Eddie loved him. There was no question, not even an inkling of doubt in Eddie’s mind that both of them were smitten for each other. But, as Beverly had once told him after a night of going to town with alcohol bought in the cheap liquor store when they were teenagers, Richie would do and drop everything in a heartbeat for Eddie.

If Eddie said that Richie had to eat stuff of the floor, he wouldn’t even pause. Which just- Eddie shuddered even having to think about doing that. He knew Richie was infuriated with him, and he was afraid, especially after hearing the gossip Sofie had so lovingly spread, that he loved Eddie too much.

He would die for Richie, he had thought about that for a long time and sometimes it scared him. How confidently he could say that, without thinking twice. Despite that, he didn’t think he could ever kiss more than just a peck in public, or would be able to go to fan events with Richie. Which, in all honesty, made him feel like a horrible boyfriend.

Richie was famous, but Eddie couldn’t go with him to his Emmy nomination. He tried, desperately, but he had a panic attack in the car and Richie had almost missed the ceremony because of it. He didn’t try and go again.

Richie, of course, didn’t care about any of this. Or he at the very least didn’t show it. Eddie came to the frightening realization that, though Richie had never voiced his complains about how Eddie behaved around him, he never actually told Eddie he liked whatever they had going.

It had been a week since Eddie had heard that comment, and it was still in the front of his mind. He was acting weird around Richie now, unable to hide anything from the man he had loved since he first understood what the concept of real love was like. When he was a little kid, the manipulation his mom put him through was enough to made him think that love equaled rough touches, doctor checkups and taking someone to the doctor for a paper cut.

So needless to say that it took a while for Eddie to comprehend that he loved Richie. Richie was getting concerned, his nervous ticks showing up again. He stuffed his hands in his pockets if he was getting anxious, and he would spend an overwhelming amount of time trying to brush out the knots in his hair. It was Eddie’s favorite thing to do for his boyfriend, and it hurt him to see Richie being so violent with his hair. It didn’t hurt as much as it gutted Eddie to see Richie getting more and more swallowed up by his anxiety. He knew a conversation was going to come up eventually.

He just didn’t think he was ready for it. Eddie had always been a coward, and even more so now. He loved him so much, and he knew that Richie deserved better, but he was also selfish. If Richie wanted to break up with him, than Eddie was going to drag it out as long as possible. When Eddie finally made it home from his job the following day with a long sigh, Richie was waiting for him in the living room. Thanks to his job, Richie was home almost constantly, and though some people might find that annoying, Eddie loved it. Instantly, Eddie’s already relaxing body tensed up again. The look Richie shot him was one of worry, and Eddie panicked internally.

He tried to smile, but it clearly didn’t meet his eyes, as Richie just raised an eyebrow in return. Shrugging his jacket of his shoulders, Eddie turned with his back towards Richie, taking deep breaths while hanging up his coat.

‘Eds’, Richie started, and even though tilt had only been a few hours, Eddie had missed his voice so much. He surely didn’t tell him as much as he should.

‘Hey baby, how was your day?’ Eddie responded, trying to keep his voice light. He almost winced. He never really used a nickname on Richie, except for Rich and trashmouth. He felt dread settle in. It wouldn’t surprise him if Richie wanted out of their relationship, Eddie had been nothing but selfish.

When he turned around, he saw Richie’s scrunched up face. He looked like he was trying to figure something out, and he was trying to stay serious, but it wasn’t long before he bursted out laughing. Eddie deflated a bit, his first attempt wasn’t going great so what? ‘Shut up asshole’, Eddie said, instantly wanting to knock himself over the head. He was such an idiot. Richie only laughed harder, whipping literal tears away. ‘Baby’, he repeated, still chuckling. Eddie couldn’t help but grin back at him, unable to stop himself when he saw Richie’s face light up.  

After Richie had finally finished laughing, Eddie reached forward to give him a kiss, which is what he usually did right after getting home. Richie turned serious again, reaching for Eddie’s hand when he went to pull away. ‘Hey Eds’, he started. Eddie opened his mouth, his lips already forming the words to his standardized sentence like a reflex, before slamming it shut with an audible click. He really needed to practice being nicer to Richie. He never meant anything with cruel intentions, when he called Richie trashmouth he meant it in a loving sort of way. He had assumed Richie knew that, but lately he wasn’t so sure. 

Richie looked taken aback when Eddie didn’t correct him on ‘Eds’, but chose to ignore that in spite of the feeling of fear forming a ball in his stomach. ‘Are you okay?’ Richie finished, his eyes question, pushing the glasses further on his face. Eddie nodded, smiling a lot him a little wider than he usually would. ‘Yeah babe, everything was fine. You know normal boring stuff at work. The kind you don’t want hear about. How was your day?’

Richie had a questioning look featured in his face, yet he seemed to come to the conclusion that Eddie wasn’t going to tell him what was up.

‘It was good, I worked some more on jokes for my next segment, do you wanna hear them?’

Eddie nodded enthusiastically, and this time it wasn’t forced or anything he had to think about. Though he would often pretend to be disgusted by the words coming out of the comedians mouth about their relationship, in reality he found it hilarious.

He often made fun of Richie’s jokes though, taunting him whatever line he came up with. Richie always laughed when Eddie roasted him, including those roast during his performances as well. Eddie didn’t feel like roasting his boyfriend now though.

Richie turned excitedly towards his laptop. He had slammed it shut when Eddie came in, and was now opening it again. As he did he absentmindedly scooched closer to where Eddie was sitting, causing their bodies to touch as much as possible.

Eddie’s heart soared, he loved this man so much. He never thought he’d have the courage to admit it, but after almost dying, thankfully pulling through at the last minute, he wasn’t going to spend another second on running away from the things he wanted.

‘I was wondering if we could order take out’, Richie commented offhandedly, still trying to open the document he had been working on. Eddie glanced at the calendar, hanging next to the giant clock they had in their living room, and saw that it was a Tuesday. Tuesdays were usually reserved for Eddie to cook.

On Tuesday, Friday and Sunday Eddie prepared meals, the other days of the week Richie takes care of whatever meal he had in mind. Eddie had been fine with scrambling a meal together every night, but he often tried doing making something healthy to balance the junk they ate when it was Richie’s turn. In other words, on Tuesday, Friday and Sunday they ate stuff Richie would never in his life had considered eating before Eddie.

He never complained about the meals he had to eat, probably because Eddie would throw a fit if he didn’t have vegetables at least twice a week. But that didn’t mean that he actually liked them. Eddie must have waited too long, because Richie looked up from his screen to follow his gaze.

‘oh shit sorry Spaghetti, I thought we were Wednesday today, what do you plan on making?’

Richie had said it casually, and he probably didn’t mean anything more than he said, but Eddie wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t overthink everything. He laughed, though it sounded like he was starting to go crazy.

‘No it’s fine, what would you like? Do you want Chinese? Or do you want some pizza? Hold on I’ll call them’, Eddie rushed out, jumping up to get his phone from his pocket.

Richie watched him go, explaining that he didn’t need to order food and that he was just as happy eating whatever Eddie chose to make, but Eddie was to busy rushing to the phone to pay attention to what Richie was saying. As the night went on and Eddie not once roasted Richie, even on stuff that Richie had set up to be roasted, he got even more worried.

Over the next week, things got strained between the two lovers. Richie had no idea how to feel or think about the change in Eddie’s behavior. It was a vicious cycle they had fallen under. Eddie would be way more touching then he usually watch, Richie would find it weird and hold back on his part, touching him less and less, which caused Eddie to panic and made him hang off Richie even more.

Finally, Richie had had enough. Richie had asked Eddie to go to a restaurant with him, so he had no choice but to listen to whatever Richie had to say. Eddie had tried avoiding having an actual conversation with Richie, he knew that he was being weird towards his boyfriend, but he loved Richie too much to lose him.

He didn’t really have a choice though, he had missed having actual conversation with Richie. He really missed bickering with Richie too if he was being honest with himself, it’s what made their relationship interesting, and it was how it had always been between the two of them.

When Eddie and Richie got to the restaurant, a small Italian place where they had their first date, there was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them. Eddie had tried, during their ride, to start up a conversation, but a tense gaze from Richie told him that a pet name, was not going to make the conversation better at all.

They ordered their standard meals, dividing wine between them and stole glances when they thought the other wasn’t looking The silence was finally broken when a woman came up to Richie and asked for a picture, her hands lingering a little too long on one of Richie’s shoulder.

Eddie felt his face flush. When he was still married to Myra, he had never been a jealous person. He couldn’t care less about who had eyes for her, and if a guy had showed up and asked Myra to date him, Eddie was sure he wouldn’t have even stopped him.

Since starting to date Richie though, he couldn’t help but feel at all the attention Richie constantly received. Being famous meant that a lot of people knew who Richie was, so he never had  When she finally left, after telling Richie how amazing he was and how he was so perfect Eddie felt like he was about to explode. He took his wine glass in hand, grumbling under his breath.

Richie, who knew damn well that the lady had been flirting with him but didn’t care because he only has eyes for Eddie, turned to him with a smirk. ‘Why can she do that so easily but I can’t’, Eddie mumbled under his breath, not intending for Richie to hear him, but he did.

Richie’s smirk fell of his face. He reached his hand across the table, clasping Eddie’s hand in his. ‘You alright there Spaghetti-O’?

When Eddie did nothing but nod, Richie squeezed his hand. He waited until Eddie locked eyes with him, before trying again.

‘Are you finally ready to tell me what’s going on? Why you’ve been acting so weird?’ Richie had been wondering for days if he did something to upset Eddie. If he did something wrong and Eddie was ghosting him in some way, though he knew Eddie would never do that. If eddie was mad, he’d respond to that right away, not just dropping hints, but going straight for the throat.

Embarrassingly to Eddie, his eyes started welling up with tears. He did his best to try and coil them away, but it didn’t help much, especially not when Richie’s own eyes welled up with tears. Richie had always been a sympathetic crier.

‘Eds’, Richie tried, but he was interrupted by Eddie. All the weeks frustration and annoyance was finally coming out.

‘I just don’t understand why it’s so easy for other people to be so affectionate. I tried so hard but I can’t help that you’re a dumbass sometimes and I like to make fun of you. I hate that my stupid colleague is making me doubt everything about us. Tell me Rich are you unhappy?’

Before Richie has the chance to answer, Eddie is already raging trough.

‘I know you love to touch and I love that you do that. I love you, but I just don’t think that’s me. I tried so hard, and all it got us was awkward silence. I love how we bicker, I love how that’s perfectly us, but I hate that I’m making it seem like I don’t like you. I’ve always liked, ever since we were kids And you love me so perfectly, you’re able to do all these affectionate things and I don’t even have a nickname for you or anything. I’m sorry okay. I’m sorry. I’m trying my best to change all that but I can’t make it better in just a week so please, please give me another chance.’ Eddie didn’t dare to look up at Richie, scared of what he’s reaction might be.

Richie started giggling, actually giggling. ‘Are you fucking giggling right now asshole?’ Eddie asked, his voice tinged with a sharp edge.

Richie smiled at him, tightening their finger together. ‘I missed you calling me an asshole Eds.’ Richie said, shaking his head fondly.

‘You think I love you perfectly? I think you love me just fine, Eddie spaghetti. You’re absolutely right, I touch you way more than you do to me, I know exactly what you like because your mother loved all those things too.’ Eddie snorted, trying to cover it up by coughing.

‘But that doesn’t mean I love you more than you love me. You show me you love me just as much, just in different ways. You make sure I eat healthy by cooking three times a week even after all the hard work you did during the day. You listen to my jokes and give me honest opinions about what I should keep and what I should change. I wouldn’t change anything about the way you insult me, because I know you love me. I know you don’t do it to hurt me, so I’m not hurt at all.’

‘You’re amazing Eds, I can’t believe you don’t know that. Should I tell you more often, baby?’ He spoke, teasing Eddie about him calling Richie ‘baby’ all week.

Eddie snorted once more, he hated that sound, but Richie absolutely adored it. Still, he was nothing but sincere when he said ‘thank you’, to Richie.

‘So does that mean I can finally start being mean to you again? Because seriously who picked that outfit? It looks like someone set it on fire.’

Richie’s loud uninhibited laugh rang through the entire restaurant, but Eddie didn’t care one bit.

‘Sure thing Eds.’

‘Don’t fucking call me that.’

[garbage-tozier]

stay - e.k. (part one)

prompt number: four - “i know you didn’t ask for this.”

fandom: it (eddie kaspbrak x reader)

rating: e for everyone

warnings: cheating?

word count: 3.7k

a/n: angst, but there’s fluff in between... there will be a part two to this so look out for that! also: y/n/n is your nick name, and the italics are flashbacks.

————————–

"love, i was thinking we order out tonight," you greeted your husband, not looking up at him as you opened your house door. "i'm not really in the mood to-"

looking up for the first time since you'd entered, you saw your husband, naked on your couch, making with another woman. she, too, was unclothed, and couldn't of been much older than 20 or 21.

you felt numb. like you weren't connected to your own body. you heard an ear-splitting scream tumble from your lips, tears already overflowing from your eyes.

"y/n, wait, it's not-"

you stood there, horrified. you couldn't think. all you could do was grab your bag and run straight back out of the door.

you started up your car, barely able to see through your tears. you wiped your eyes enough that you could see, and started driving.

anywhere, you thought, would be better than where i am right now. that house. that man. you just needed to get away.

you let yourself drive, not paying attention to the specific roads you were taking. all that was taking up your focus at the moment was brushing away the tears welling in your eyes fast enough that you could see the road.

stopping at a red light, you realized where you were.

"can you believe it, eddie?" you squealed, shaking his arm. "we did it! we finally got away from that stupid ass town!"

"and the stupid ass clown that came with it," he added, making you giggle.

the two of you had had it all planned out since you were ten. it was just the kind of thing best friends did. planned to move in together when they got older? it was a common thing.

but, unlike most people, your and eddie's dream had actually come true.

"wow, look how gorgeous it is," you marveled, staring at the house you and eddie had bought.

"and it's ours," he smiled at you, looping his arm through yours.

you were perfectly on track to driving right back to that gorgeous house.

you and eddie had lived there together up until you got married off to another man, and moved in with your husband.

you didn't know if eddie still lived there, but it was worth a try. right now, all you needed was to cry on your best friend's shoulder.

and so you kept driving. right up until you saw that same lovely house again.

you pulled your car into the same place you and eddie had parked on that first night there, almost entirely forgetting about your husband's affair.

you grabbed your bag, locked your car, and started towards the front door.

you had your fist raised and ready, about to knock, when suddenly, you had second thoughts.

you hadn't seen eddie (or any of the other losers, for that matter) for years. who was to say he would still see you as his best friend? who was to say he'd even recognize you?

only one way to find out, you thought, knocking on the door three times.

"be there in a minute!" you heard eddie's voice ring out. just by hearing his voice, you were immediately filled with joy.

you heard a large crash, and a yelp. you couldn't help but laugh, remembering your friend's clumsy nature.

"sorry it took so long," said eddie, opening the door. "i walked into the..."

he suddenly stopped talking, taking in your face. tears appeared in your eyes again, but this time for a different reason.

"y/n?" he asked, a look of awe dawning his face. he reached out and cupped your cheek as you nodded.

you jumped onto him, encasing him in a bear hug. "oh, eddie, i missed you so much!"

he hugged you back, just as tightly. "i... i missed you too y/n," he said quietly.

the two of you stood like that, hugging in the front door, for a while. when you finally pulled away, eddie invited you in.

"sure," you laughed, wiping away your newer tears with your pointer finger. "i'd love to see what you've done with the place."

he chuckled nervously, letting you step over the threshold.

as you looked around your old house, you had to refrain from gagging. it looked like fourteen grandma's had vomited everywhere- and everything was shit brown.

"eddie, do you take constructive criticism?"

"no, but i do," you heard from somewhere else in the house.

a woman who bore a striking resemblance to sonia kaspbrak walked up to you.

she held out a stiff hand, and you shook it. "myra kaspbrak," she said coldly. she walked over to eddie, gripping his arm tightly. "eddie's wife,"

you tried your best to be polite, continuing to smile at the woman. "it's a pleasure to meet you," you said, glancing at eddie. he looked uncomfortable under her grip. "i'm y/n l/n," you said. you winced at your husbands last name, but tried not to   cry.

"myra, this is my old best friend from when i was younger," eddie told her. "she and i bought this house together,"

"did you?" myra laughed tartly, staring you down. you squirmed under her gaze, feeling as though you'd done something wrong.

"it was lovely meeting you, myra, but do you think i could talk to eddie privately for a moment?"

the hatred seeping from the woman's eyes now was undeniable. somehow, though, eddie couldn't see it.

"of course!" she said, almost as if you was speaking through gritted teeth. her expression scared you- to say the least.

you took eddie's other arm, leading him away from sonia- er, myra- taking him into a door that used to lead to a sitting area.

now, behind the door was an office, presumably eddie's, as you couldn't imagine myra working.

"what did you need to talk abo-" eddie asked you. but before he could finish you'd already broke down crying in his arms.

"i didn't want to say anything in front of your wife, but my husband cheated on me," you sobbed into eddie's shirt.

"you wanna talk about it?" eddie said softly. his arms were wrapped around your shoulders, your chin resting on one of his.

you nodded, pulling away from the hug. he sat on his desk, while you took the chair, and throughout the next few minutes, you told him everything you knew.

how you'd speculated a couple of times, but never truly investigated, out of trust. how today your boss's son had a dentist appointment, so you and your co-workers had all ben let off of work early. how you'd walked in on your husband and his mistress and turned around and walked right back out.

how you'd absentmindedly driven here.

you sniffled as you finished your story, staring down at the floor.

"wow," eddie said.

"yeah. wow," you mirrored him. suddenly, there was a loud pounding sound, and the door shook.

"hello? eddie-bear, you and that girl have been in there for a long time!"

eddie jumped up to open the door, and you moved to wipe away your tears.

"y/n was just telling me a story, myra,”

"hm," myra said, taking one look at your disheveled state. "must've been an awfully sad one,"

"oh my god, it was!" you squeaked in a mocking tone, dropping your mature attitude with the woman. "thanks for noticing, princess!"

myra looked utterly disgusted, but she walked away.

"it's getting dark out," you noted, pointing towards the deep midnight blue color of the sky outside eddie's window.

"yeah," he said, looking up. "where are you gonna sleep tonight?"

you hadn't thought of that. eddie was right, there was no way you were going to go back to the home you shared with that lying skank of a husband- at least not until it was absolutely necessary.

eddie, seeing that you didn't have an   answer, cut it again. "you can stay in your old room,"

you looked up at him. "it's still there?"

he smiled at you, putting his hand on top of yours. "the one room i wouldn't let myra touch when she remodeled."

"are you sure myra wouldn't have a problem with it?" you asked him, looking in the direction of the door.

"positive," he grinned at you, moving his hand off of yours to open the door. "some of the clothes you left behind might still be in there, too. though i don't know if you'd still be able to fit them,"

"hey!" you laughed, hitting him on the shoulder. "have i grown that much?"

"no!" he said, laughing too. "but come one, y/n we were twenty!"

"i'll show you!" you narrowed your eyes at him playfully, jumping up to run through the door.

eddie followed you as you ran through the living room, and started the staircase.

"going somewhere?" myra said from a chair.

the two of you stopped in your tracks, staring down at her.

"y/n wanted to see her old room," eddie smiled as his wife, gesturing up stairs. "collect some of the things she left behind."

"okay," the woman squinted at the two of you, giving you an especially rude stare.

you and eddie continued up the staircase, and into your bedroom.

you looked around in awe. "eddie... everything's exactly the same!"

he nodded, beaming at you. you walked over and opened your closet, to find all of your old clothes that you had deemed inappropriate for a married woman to wear.

"oh, this was my favorite shirt!" you pulled out a fuzzy sweater that had the words 'do i look like i give two fucks?' scrawled on the front, a drawing of a middle finger prominent in the middle of it all.

"i know," he laughed. "i had to convince you to take it off every day!"

"what?!" you grinned too, hugging the sweater close to your body. "it's warm!"

"it was fucking summer, y/n!"

"bah!" you yelled, hanging the sweater back up and collapsing onto your bed.

you stared around again, taking everything in. all your posters for everything you'd forgotten you'd loved. everything your husband had told you to forget about.

"ask myra if she would be fine with me staying here, just for tonight," you told eddie. "i know you said she would, but i don't want to intrude or anything,"

"you bought the house," eddie said offhandedly. "but, okay. i will."

he left your room closing the door behind you.

you had to know if it was still there. as soon as the door closed you sprang up, getting on your knees to look under your bed.

there sat a small wooden box, just where you'd put it the night you moved out.

your hands trembling, you reached out to grab it. you felt tears brimming in your eyes already. you held the box as you walked towards your dresser, opening the top drawer and retrieving the key you'd kept there.

you unlocked the box. inside, there was a small photograph: you were holding eddie's hand, and both of you had your arms raised up in triumph. the rest of your friends all stood around you, cheering, smiling and laughing.

that was the day you'd told the losers you'd saved enough money to get a house. they all called for a party.

that was the last time you'd seen them. the last time you'd all been truly happy together.

you shut the box and locked it again, trying not to break out into a sobbing fit again.

just as you were reimplacing the box, you heard something loud from down the stairs.

carefully, you slinked down the stairs, following eddie and myra's voices, which you could now hear clearly.

"myra, please," you heard eddie comforting the woman, who was wailing loudly.

"but eddie-bear!" she cried. "i don't want her here! this is my house too you know! she's been so mean to me ever since she came!"

"i'm sorry, darling," eddie said softly. the fact that he was taking her side in all of this infuriated you. it took all you had not to start yelling right then and there. "but y/n's husband cheated on her, she can't go home,"

myra sniffled loudly, in a way that could only be fake.

"she needs somewhere to stay," you heard eddie pleading.

you peeked over the side of the wall you were standing at, just long enough to see myra's entirely dry face as she continued to make crying sounds.

"just for tonight eddie-bear," she said. "then first thing in the morning she's gone,"

"i don't know about-"

"first thing!" she said, and you could hear footsteps coming in your direction.

you quickly hopped up the stairs, rushing back into your bedroom before anyone could catch you.

a moment later, eddie reappeared in your bedroom door. "she said yes!" he said excitedly, his eyes glowing.

 if he hadn't been your best friend, you would've tore him apart on the spot. "thanks, eddie," you said, standing up to hug him. "this means so so so much,"

 you pulled away and he smiled at you before closing your door.

 "oh, wait," he said, opening the door again. "the towels are in the same place, if you want to take a shower. i know you like doing it at night,"

 you nodded, thanking him as he walked back out. you couldn't believe he remembered. "good-night, eddie,"

 "good-night, y/n/n,"

 you did want to shower, actually, so you opened your closet searching for clothes to wear.

 as you surveyed everything you had left behind in your old room, you realized that it was all tour favorite clothes.

 everything you'd ever loved, your husband had pulled you away from.

 including eddie.

 it was then that you decided you wanted a divorce. during all of this, you'd been thinking of giving him a second chance, but now? that was out of the question. he hadn't even tried to call you when you left!

 you grabbed your sweater from earlier and a pair of sweatpants. your then-fiancè had convinced you that sweatpants were "in-elegant" and "not for my wife".

 you walked to the bathroom, with your clothes, and took a nice, hot shower. the burning water felt nice on your skin, and the towels eddie had bought since you were gone were so soft!

 you dressed yourself, then took your towel down to the laundry room. you walked back up to the bathroom, folding the clothes you had taken off and stashing them in your bag for the morning.

 you cleared your bed, laying down to go to sleep.

 the day had been so eventful, you thought, that there were only two ways your quest for sleep would end: you'd stay awake all night, thinking about what had happened, or you'd fall asleep instantly, tired out.

 your expectation had been the prior, but you were pleasantly surprised when reality turned towards the latter.

 you woke up the next morning, and were instantly reminded of why you weren't in your bed.

 "he doesn't deserve your tears, y/n," you mumbled to yourself. you got up to find something to wear, trying to push your husband out of your mind.

 you picked out a skirt, smiling to yourself as you remembered your first time (and last time) wearing it.

 you shot up it your bad, slamming the stop button on your alarm clock. you jumped up happily, grinning from ear to ear, and opened your closet.

you would finally get a chance to wear your new skirt!

you and your boyfriend were going out tonight, and you'd picked it especially for the occasion. you styled it with a red blouse and sneakers, letting your hair down loose.

you walked out of your room, bumping into eddie in the hallway. you elbowed him in the stomach. "hey dude," you grinned. "sleep well?"

"yeah," he smiled at you. "you look really nice. new skirt?" you beamed, nodding. "looks amazing."

you were off of work that day, so you lounged around the house for the hour or two you were waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up.

you were watching a reality tv show, and someone had just thrown a plate when your phone chimed.

"i'm here" the text from your boyfriend read. you grabbed your jacket, turned off the tv, and ran through the door.

"hey, babe," you yelled still grinning. he smiled at you from the front seat of his car.

"hey," his eyes traveled down to your skirt. "why are you wearing that? you look like a slut,"

you frowned when he said this, looking down. did you really? suddenly, you didn't feel so good about yourself anymore.

"you want me to go change really quick?"

"then we'll be late for the reservation. just tie your jacket around yourself and try not to let anyone see," you nodded, following his instructions before getting into the car with him.

you still remembered how much it had hurt you when he said that. you had picked the skirt out especially for him! needless to say, you never wore that skirt again.

until today that is.

as you jumped into the skirt, you felt a sense of confidence wash over you, just as it had the first day you'd worn it. you looked for the red blouse, but you couldn't find it. you must've taken it with you when you left 

you ended up pairing the skirt with a yellow t-shirt, and you'd been lucky enough to find the same sneakers.

you didn't exactly remember the context, but you were sure your husband had told you they were "raggedy" and "worn out". they were comfortable, though. and besides- you no longer cared what he thought.

fully dressed and feeling free, you stepped out of your old bedroom, to again, find eddie, just as you had the last time you had worn the skirt.

"hey! i remember that skirt," he said. you smiled at him, twirling around. "you only ever wore it once,"

"yeah," you said. "someone told me it looked bad,"

"i thought you were beautiful," he told you quietly, smiling softly. you looked up at him, the smile falling from your face. "and you still look great in it,"

now- in this circumstance, anyone else would've been flattered. and you were! you were... but you also felt sick. like you might throw up, right there.

you loved eddie.

and not in the best friend way; you loved all the losers like that. but right now, as you and eddie stood there in that hallway, smiling at each other, you loved him as something more.

you loved him like flowers love the spring rain that brings them to life. you loved him like a photograph loved the frame that held it secure.

and you wanted him to love you back.

that's why myra wants me to leave, you thought. it was all coming together now. myra had seen everything you had been to foolish to notice. you'd always loved eddie, and apparently it was painstakingly obvious to everyone but the two of you.

this entire time, you'd thought that myra's jealousy and hatred of you was all unwarranted, but now you understood.

"you okay, y/n/n?" eddie asked you, placing a hand on your shoulder. you composed yourself enough to smile at him and nod. had his eyes always held such depth?

"yeah," you managed. you cleared your throat. "i'm fine, eds,"

"okay," he smiled, taking the staircase.

you rushed back into your room. you had to find someone to house you, right then and there. no way were you spending another minute in the kaspbrak house.

you called everyone you could think of- work colleagues, friends from college, family members.

every single one of them turned you down.

by now, you were on the verge of a breakdown- all that was keeping you together was the tranquil still of your room, the sereneness of the silence that engulfed you.

immediately, as if a direct attempt to set you off, you heard a loud voice from downstairs.

it was undoubtedly myra and eddie fighting over your presence again. you stood up, throwing your phone into your bag. you'd sleep in your car if you had to, you decided. you weren't going to let yourself break their marriage any more than you already had.

you shoved what ever of your stuff you could fit in your purse, including the box you'd put your photo in.

you sighed as you looked around your room for one last time, before turning the lights off.

you walked down the staircase, holding your bag. eddie and myra were at the end of it, going at each other's throats.

"you- there she is! look, look at her! i want her gone, eddie-bear! gone! she's ruining our marriage!"

"i'm sorry for the pain i have caused you myra." you said, smiling at her. "i've found somewhere to stay, so i'm leaving,"

"wait!" eddie called for you as you walked towards the door. you stopped, spinning to face him. "y/n it's not your fault. i know you didn't ask for this. for any of this! and-"

"really, eddie?" myra sobbed, putting her head into her hands. "don't you care about my feelings? it's all her fault! no wonder her husband cheated on her," at this, you felt your cheeks redden as you tried your best to hold back the tears. "she ruined-"

"no, myra!" eddie was now facing his wife. "you ruined everything! you stressed me out, you put me on pills, and now you're driving my best friend away! i'm done, myra! i'm-"

you had snuck out of the door quietly, shutting it behind you. if myra and eddie continued to fight while you were gone, that was none of your business. but you would no longer be the cause of it.

you started towards your car, everything up in the air. you had no plan- you'd admittedly left in a bit of a rush. you had nowhere to go, barely any money, and no food. all you could do was hope for the best.

[wildflower-tozier]

It (2017) Soulmate Letter AU

soulmate AU where the first letter of the name of someone’s soulmate appears somewhere on their body when the two realize they’re in love with eachother

so eddie and the losers are at the hospital getting eddie’s cast off and the moment it comes off eddie sighs in relief and richie says “that’s the same noise your mom made last night”

eddie instinctually flips richie off with the hand that was covered by the cast and everyone’s shocked to see a letter R on said middle finger

and richie blushes as eddie struggles to realize/cover it up

and ben, who was standing right behind richie, can’t wait to tell Richie ab the faint letter E forming on the back of his neck (where richie often puts his hand when he gets flustered by eddie’s cuteness)

on the roof of bill’s mouth there’s a small letter S, which he doesn’t even know is there until his dentist points it out. ever since finding it, bill stutters less on “Stan” than anyone else’s name.

Stan gets a B around the Judith scars on his face. he doesn’t understand why his soulmate mark would be so close to such a traumatic reminder, until he realizes how often bill holds his face with his fingers brushing the scars.

Ben knows exactly who his soulmate mark will be. he just doesn’t know when.

and it takes years but eventually, just like he knew it would, Ben gets his letter B. but he hates where it is.

it appeared right over the H scar on his abdomen. it looked like a sigil. like Henry Bowers had really left his mark.

for a long time he was glad he could cover it up, and if anything it made his body issues worse. the last thing he needed was someone seeing the H and the B together and assuming his soulmate was his life long tormentor.

Beverly doesn’t feel any better about hers. She gets a letter B as well, on the left side of her neck, where her hairline ends. at the time it appears she can’t hide it because her hair is short, but she assumes it means bill so that doesn’t REALLY matter.

what stings is that her soulmate mark is so close to her hair, something that reminded her so deeply of her own tormentor.

but it gets better.

when they finally FINALLY get together, Ben mentions offhandedly how he likes Beverly’s hair short, she seems happier, more free that way. and she realizes, maybe for the first time, that she really is free from her dad.

Ben changes his mind a lot more slowly. it takes him longer to even show Bev where his mark is, but once he does, she just smiles.

“what?”

“it’s like a victory over henry”

and Ben realizes that maybe his soulmate mark was a sign from the universe that love wins.