#and presently there's the booktok of it all which is just. oof
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every so often the demons in me are like 'oh yes you could write an Original Fiction book' and then five seconds later I'm smacked with the present reality of what all of that entails. nevermind! at what cost!
#like the writing itself is no longer thaaat hard. theoretically.#but what drove me away from pursuing grad school and such was the networking#well then also the capitalism of it all#and presently there's the booktok of it all which is just. oof#well and then also it cycles back to my horrible little paralyzing fears about actually being bad at writing#as a kiddo being good at writing was framed in terms of talent like if i just put words on the page good i would be recognized and praised#but that ain't it. i could write the prettiest words in the world for an audience that doesnt exist#or would gut me for a minor factual error or something lmao
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