#and potentially his dynamic with robby in the sense of figuring things out

[findafight]

Can interest you in a potentially controversial Stobin headcanon in what sounds like a trying time?

If so; Steve and Robin share girlfriend at some point.

Not in the “turns out that time we were both dating girls named Crystal? We were in fact dating one girl named Crystal. Who *somehow* never put it together that my Steve and the Steve she was two-timing me with were in fact the person!”

(This does in fact happen - I’m thinking when Robin’s in college and has met like, three different Crystals (one of whom has parents that lived in the same commune as Robin’s! Such a shame girls named Crystal have been *ruined forever*).

It’s a pretty surreal break up for Crystal; not only are her boyfriend and girlfriend turn out to be actually best friends (in her defence, Robin has taken to calling him “Stevie” at this point and the way she talks about him really conjures the image of a standard preppy bitch who’s been Robin’s best friend since kindergarten, and Steve (in retaliation) tends to use “Rob” and “Robbie”, leading Crystal to believe his Robin is male), and seem almost as angry about this as they are about the infidelity.

Crystal’s attempts at explaining herself and apologising result in Steve retorting that he’s not even mad that she’d want to date Robin - Robin’s fucking amazing! If Crystal had just told him that was what he wanted, he probably would have been okay with it - which Crystal takes as Steve being a bitch, but is something Robin will point later as her realising that this is something she might be okay with.)

Anyway, I figure this is something that would happen when they’re in their 20s and/or their 50s. They’re either approached by a woman who thinks they’re a couple (“does it make our marriage more or less of a sham if we’re sharing a mistress?”) or they approach someone they both have a crush on a la Troy & Abed asking out the librarian.

I don’t think either of them would identify as poly, per se - it’s very much “if it’s you, it’s okay”, and if the girlfriend breaks up with one of them, it’s assumed she’s breaking up with both of them.

I just kind of like the combination of Robin and Steve as Platonic Life Partners, trying to figure out polyamory and just how absolutely Buckwild (Robin’s Wrestler name!) it would be for their [potential] girlfriends and anyone on the outside of the situation. Jon and Eddie just sat there, listening to Steve ramble about the situation bc it’s Robin’s date night and just…bluescreening. Argyle smiling and nodding “happy for you, man. I mean, sucks you’re off the market, but glad you’ve found something that works”.

one yes always interested in controversial takes tbh. two. omg yes exactly you are so smart anon

The Crystal situation!! so true this is absolutely something that would happen to stobin (also true I know a few queer women called crystal). bad luck in love that's them!!

I think Steve is like. mostly monogamous...unless his gf/partner is also dating Robin. like it would make sense to him I think. He'd be like well. this way we don't have to worry you things being weird about my Very Normal Friendship With Robin That Some People Thing Is Weird!

I think I've mentioned before the funny scenario of stobin going "hey me and my platonic life partner saw you across the bar and liked your vibes" and I stand by that.

But also funny is that Steve or Robin's girlfriend being absorbed into their dynamic and realizing that she is..... sort of dating both of them? And her being the one to bring up dating the other and Robin and steve going well how would that change things? and everyone realizing that it would probably only change the amount of kisses gf gets and going well that sounds cool let's try it!

Maybe in their 20s it doesn't work out but they try again in their 50s and they go wow! this was a great idea we were just young and it just didn't work out.

that's so fun. I want them to have crazy dating stories. I want Jonathan and Eddie to sit there going what the hell are these two doing? because the complexities of stobin's dating lives have always confused them even before the poly V started, and argyle just vibing listening to the double date night shenanigans he's being told.

[pinkgrapefloyd]

the primary problem of course is that you’d need a duncan-macbeth type relationship AND a subsequent “murder”. neither silver nor kreese would have the good reputation for an actual duncan-esque figure let alone the level of trust in any of their students that even makes the murder possible. the thing about mr miyagi is that daniel is the only potential younger confidante that makes any type of sense but that obviously does not work. daniel’s potential for corruption is interesting but “killing” mr miyagi for power is antithetical to his whole character so that’s a no. (not sure what kinda betrayal i’d actually go for here. not real murder. but sth super serious.)

MEANING. we need to look for our duncan one generation further down. which gives us daniel and johnny to choose from. of course in terms of reputation and where-are-they-at-in-life daniel is the more likely candidate. which gives us the ultimate juicy macbeth casting: robby. a confidante, but not a relative. in search of meaning and a place for himself. malleable. fearful. impulsive. complicated. in other words: TRAGIC. SHAKESPEAREAN. PROTAGONIST.

duncan’s sons, donalbain and malcolm, are forced to flee in act two because of course they’re the primary suspects as they’re next in line for the throne. sam and anthony. boom boom pow. malcom has a lot more lines than donalbain which works bc sam’s a lot more interesting than anthony. sorry not sorry.

banquo is important because his murder symbolizes further corruption. he and macbeth hear the prophecy together. their fates are linked. i’d go out on a limb here and say let’s not go with someone from his age group. in fact, let’s pick johnny. johnny and his students will be the ones to bring robby down so of course johnny’s gotta go. meaning robby will destroy his father (go off king) and then be plagued by visions of him during the height of his victory, which tbh is probably just a regular sunday evening for him. nice. miguel as fleance, johnny’s “heir”. THE DYNAMICS OF THAT ALONE. sorry for screaming but !!!!!

also fleance has like two lines... miguel baby im so sorry.

which of course means: kreese, silver and da eun as the witches. the witches have been interpreted through so many different lenses, but corrupting forces who are putting ‘youre the future of this dojo’ into ppls heads actually works great. now were fucking getting somewhere. tell me you would not pay a million dollars to hear ian mcgriffith and martin kove chant “double double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble” in unison. (off topic, i know, but COME ON. TELL ME YOU WOULDNT USE THIS AS UR RINGTONE)

and we need a lady m to complete the cast. catalyst extraordinaire. a go-getter. plot agency and scary intensity for days. tory motherfucking nichols. not to mention she has a reason to not care about duncan’s family (i.e. sam) and them getting blamed for the murder. also she does not really know duncan so who gives a crap. and lets absolutely imply gay vibes here because thats whats up.

now we all love a good double casting but hear me out. role fusion. tory as lady macbeth AND taking on macduff’s function. after lots of inner turmoil, finally she vows to undo what she abetted, mirroring her realization at the end of s4. she plotted with sam (malcolm and macduff plot against macbeth) behind macbeths back. macbeth takes revenge on macduffs family (meaning tory’s mother and brother. this is getting so fucking juicy).

once tory has “killed” the lady macbeth role inside her, she essentially becomes macduff and completes the story. it would be exactly the female cursebreaker/killer subversion of “no man of woman born shall harm macbeth” we all know and love. macduff prophecy inspiring eowyn prophecy inspiring my ramblings on tumblr dot come. what times we live in.

also samtory conspiracy! i mean?????? hello???

macduff kills macbeth (aka tory defeats robby smackdown), sam takes the throne. idk what the whole point of this is. lesbianism saves the day i guess.

and i dont know about the woods of dunsinane. robby’s reign of terror will end once.... (spins wheel) mr miyagis cars become self driving. becomes true when he forgets to pull the handbrake. i dont fucking know. im all outta metaphors.

yesterday it was like "what if i gave my karate kid fic a macbeth title" and now i have arrived at "what if macbeth was about karate". what's the brain equivalent of 'someone take my phone away'

[mira-gilastorm]

Inferno Dynamics Ch 8: Not the First

Read whole fic on ao3

Skye struggled not to let Coulson's words elicit a dangerous emotion in her. I trained her. Ward nodded and pulled up the SHIELD file, always the soldier, always true to his training. His eyes widened a bit as he took in Amador's credentials. Her SO nodded to the others in the room, as if excusing himself to go research on his own. Skye wondered a little if maybe he'd been turned on by what he'd seen.

But that wasn't where her mind needed to wander. I should, I trained her. Coulson made his way around his desk and out into the main lounge of the Bus. May, Robbie, and Skye followed silently, waiting for his explanation. Any of them could read the file easy enough, but he knew something. That was clearly why they were on a case like this, not some spec ops team that specialized in high end robberies.

He made it to the spiral staircase before he started talking. "Akela Amador was a SHIELD agent. Seven years ago she led a raid on one of Vanchat’s Gulags. Everyone believed that she and the other two agents on the mission were killed. I had my doubts. So I sent in a second team, just in case." He wandered back into the lounge, past the three agents tailing him, to the bar. "They found a lot of carnage but couldn’t confirm that any of it was Amador, left the possibility open."

May eyed him with her impassive glare. "That’s why you chose this op, when you heard about the heists."

Everyone turned to look at May in surprise. Her voice was less controlled than her face, betraying her anger at his keeping secrets. Robbie looked especially shocked at her tone.

Coulson ducked. "There are only a few women in the world who could pull off something so impossible. Since you were on the Bus, I thought it had to be her." She continued glaring, so Skye figured his flattery wasn't going to get him out of whatever this was. He motioned with the glass still in his hand, and the team followed him into the Planning Room where Ward was already set up and waiting for them.

He had Amador's entire file picked apart across the screens. "Swedish customs confirmed that Amador left the country using an alias on a Swedish passport. She flew to Belarus, brought a train ticket to a town called Zloda. I’ve also put together a list of individuals who may fence that many diamonds." He flicked his list from the tabletop interface up to the wall of screens. Good god, she thought, the things the Rising Tide could do with equipment like this. It wasn't the first time the thought crossed her mind. She caught Robbie's eyes flicking over to her from across the briefing room, where he stood next to May, and she pushed the thought as far to the back of her mind as she could. They still needed to have that talk about ESP and other powers. But she wasn't about to risk it.

Ward was still going on about the list. "There's been no contact or activity."

Coulson gave that smirk he had when he was about to tell a bad joke. "Maybe she’s saving them for a rainy day, buying something special. Let’s focus on finding Amador."

"I’ll let HQ know she’s alive so they can assist with the manhunt." May was already moving toward the cockpit, Robbie ready to follow silently in her wake.

"I'd like to put a hold on that." Everyone turned to give Coulson their own version of a questioning expression. "Until we know more. Contact Belarus authorities. Find us a place to park the Bus." He nodded to her SO. "Put together a list of inns, hotels and pensions near Zloda. There can’t be that many of them. We’ll find her."

Skye caught a look that passed between the two older agents before they went off on their way to follow orders. She stayed behind with Coulson. "I'm not so special after all." He turned to her, glancing over her shoulder. She turned and saw Robbie had stayed as well. Oh well. "I’m not your first protégée. Relax, I’m teasing. I know I’m not a protégée. Hell, I’m not even a real live SHIELD agent yet."

Coulson blanched. She saw it. Something about this Amador woman was eating at him. "You two couldn't be more different." He stared at her SHIELD ID photo still up on the wall of screens and interfaces. "Amador was smart, talented, fearless."

Ouch. "Wow, there’s nothing in common." She could hear Robbie's jacket rustle as he shifted uncomfortably in the corner of the small room. This was probably the last kind of conversation he wanted to be stuck overhearing.

Coulson gave Skye a small smile. "Let me finish. She didn’t play well with others, found little value in teamwork." He nodded back up to the photo. "I thought I could instill those qualities in her, so I pushed her - maybe too hard." Guilt was written all over his face as he turned back to stare at Skye and, strangely, at Robbie over her shoulder.

She scoffed. "Don’t blame yourself because this chick went to the dark side. Whatever path she went down, whatever weird stuff she got into, it’s on her." She was done with this conversation. She walked out of the briefing room, letting him deal with his own misplaced guilt.

Robbie had felt the faint sparks of betrayal in just about everyone in the briefing room. If it hadn't been for May's crazy zen training, the Rider might have been raging in his head. It had radiated off of Ward as soon as he had seen Amador's photo, off of May when she realized Coulson was hiding things, Skye when she'd seen how they picked apart digital files, and Coulson met his eyes as he confessed his own guilt - like he knew what Robbie was feeling from the team.

He just reminded himself that it was this or some kind of cage. He and the Rider made a deal. And now they were stuck in this ridiculous van, in Belarus, and he wasn't sure if this team was about to implode or not.

"You look particularly broody today," Skye nudged his knee with her own.

Reyes glared at her without turning to face her. "That's not a word."

"And yet, I find it somehow describes you perfectly."

Simmons turned around to face them from her seat. "I don't how anyone could be brooding here, honestly. This is so exciting! I’ve dreamed of visiting Zloda since I was a schoolgirl." She grinned brilliantly.

Fitz shot her a strange look."Zloda, Belarus? A dream come true? Really?"

Simmons’ smile faltered a bit. "It’s the birthplace of Nobel physicist Zhores Alferov. I mean, technically he’s from Vitebsk, but that’s less than an hour from here and I’m a bit disappointed that you didn’t know that."

Her defensive tone snapped him out of whatever gloom he'd settled in. "Well, no, of course I know who that is. Father of heterostructure transistors, thank you very much." Everyone turned to give him a questioning glance, except Robbie. He didn't much care why Fitz didn't want to be out here. "We’re all well aware of that. I’m just a little bit preoccupied. Our first and only other time in the field wasn’t exactly a picnic, was it?"

Coulson leaned to look back at them from his place in the passenger seat. "You guys are only here to search for Amador electronically. You won’t even need to leave the van." Reyes rolled his eyes. The science twins had probably been reminded of that about twenty times since they left the Bus. But Fitz still gave himself a fist pump as Coulson turned back around in his seat.

May’s voice sounded over the radio. "Bus to short bus."

Ward responded immediately, "Go for short bus."

Coulson grimaced. "Next time, I’ll decide what we call ourselves, okay?"

Ward made a face, clearly not getting the reference or social stigma. Robbie added it to the list of reasons he wanted to punch him - for Gabe.

May was still talking through the comm. "HQ has requested a status update."

Robbie could feel the others in the van hold their breath. Coulson asked, "What'd you tell them."

"That we’re tracking a potential suspect, nothing more." Everyone released a collective sigh. Reyes gathered mom and dad didn't fight much.

Coulson nodded slightly, despite May not being able to see it. "I owe you one."

His SO's quip said she was starting to accept the situation. "More like three."

The van finally slowed to a stop by the side of some back road. Coulson turned in his seat to give them their orders. "If Amador is here, she’ll have to contact her buyer. Scan for cellphone transmissions, encrypted emails, anomalous broadcast signatures. Call us if you find anything that indicates her presence." Robbie assumed that was mostly for the other three. He was just here for muscle.

Ward and Coulson both got out, Ward leaning in the open door briefly, glancing back at Skye. "Maintain radio silence unless you really need help."

Fitz glanced up from the case he was holding. "Well, what exactly defines needing help?!" The door slammed closed without an answer. Typical asshole Ward. Reyes really was starting to dislike him as much as the Rider did.

Skye snapped open the laptop and a few devices on the console next to her and started tapping away. He couldn't help but watch her. It wasn't words on the screen, just a couple of black boxes of green text that he assumed was code of some sort - nothing that made any sense to him.

Simmons was working on something in the row in front of them. Apparently the science twins had started on their assignments too. "There’s barely electricity in this town. Can’t be too hard to find our mystery woman."

Skye smirked, her eyes never leaving her screen, fingers still flying across the keys. "Unless she already knows we're here." Robbie was regretting ever mentioning anything to her now. She was like a K9 on a scent.

Jemma, however, stopped what she was doing to turn and give them both an incredulous glare. "No, you’re not suggesting some sort of precognition or telepathy because-"

"I know, it doesn’t exist. And not long ago I would have dumped ESP in the 'aliens-and-demons-are-for-crazy-people' pile. But now-" She gestured to him. Whatever else Skye was about to say was cut off by a high chime from the laptop balanced on her knees. She stared at the nonsense on her screen intensely. "Found a server."

Robbie leaned over to see and there was finally something intelligible there - CONNECTED. Everyone else in the van went into high gear, typing at something, scanning something and Robbie just watched, focusing on his breathing like May had taught him. At least he didn't feel any murderous urges around these three, even if Skye was hiding something.

Fitz snapped at them, trying to get their attention. "There's a broadcast. At least I think that's what it is."

Skye set her laptop aside and slid over Robbie to go see what Fitzsimmons had found. Robbie Reyes was not blushing about having that idealistic hactivist in his lap for a brief second. He got up to see what the fuss was all about.

"Doesn't look like anything exciting to me, just some footage of driving down the street." The other three agreed with him.

Simmons looked around briefly and a slight panicked expression passed on her face. Skye raised a brow at her. "What's up?"

"What do we do if we have to use the bathroom?"

Robbie laughed. "Call Ward. Sounds like a question for your SO." A question that would annoy him to no end, and nothing would please Robbie more than annoying Grant Ward.

Skye held up the water bottle, her phone to her ear with her very annoyed SO on the other end. "Did you never learn the thing where boy parts and girl parts are different, and our parts aren’t penises?"

Robbie was practically grinning from where he'd spread out on the bench they'd been sharing earlier and somehow she felt like she'd been set up in his suggestion to call Ward. Fitzsimmons were snickering, but Fitz was waving at her, reminding her about the snacks.

Ward was being his usual terminator-mission-comes-first self. "Agent Coulson and I are trying to find a dangerous criminal. If there’s nothing else pressing-"

She rolled her eyes. "Actually, wait one sec. Fitz was wondering if you packed any snacks."

Fitz shouted at her ear. "Cause I’m feeling a bit peckish."

The phone clicked off. She pulled it away and stared at it. "He hung up." Robbie laughed - actually laughed - and she was tempted to throw the device at him. Yeah, that was definitely a set up. She did throw the water bottle at him, landing a pretty solid hit.

"Hey, cool it, chica! Not my fault he's such a hardass!" Skye didn't grace him with a response, just a toss of her hair to cover the fact she was trying hard not to smile. Stupid Reyes was going to get her stuck doing pull ups for a full week, but it might have been amusing. She set to putting everything back in the cooler she'd dug the bottle out of when static caught her attention.

Fitz was fiddling with the broadcast she'd found, but something was interfering with it. He muttered some kind of curse. "I can’t stabilize it. There’s an encrypted local signal competing."

Skye tossed herself back on the bench, shoving Robbie over and ignoring his grunts of protest. She grabbed her laptop from where it had been sitting, streaming the connection to the server to the rest of their equipment. "Mirror it over. I have a couple of Rising Tide exploits that might work."

Fitz hit some keys at his work station and the stream appeared on Skye's screen. The small computer beeped like an astro-droid with each of her keystrokes as she typed into different command prompt boxes, working her own kind of science magic. She mumbled to herself, "One last thing..." Just a few more prompts and a quick enter and the feed cleared up.

Skye beamed up at them all, who were apparently crowding around her as she worked. The feed was still just of a street, a couple of bushes along a dirt road. "Ta-da! And you're welcome."

Fitzsimmons stared at the images on their own screens, making those faces that they made when trying to figure something out that made no sense. Robbie just shook his head. Whatever. She was proud of herself. This was why she was here.

Reyes stared past her at the stream. "Russian TV is boring." Something about how casually he disregarded her work annoyed her. She rolled her eyes at him and settled into watching the 'boring' stream, even if it was with his grumpy commentary next to her.

The feed continued moving past the bushes and now showed a parked white van. Fitz sat up straight. Skye and Robbie both eyed him curiously. "That looks a bit like our van."

Looking again at the stream, everyone could see he was right. In fact, it looked like where they were parked. Reyes was standing up, like he was getting ready for a fight. Then the feed shifted and it was like they were see an x-ray of four skeletons in a van.

Skye looked over at Fitzsimmons. "What are we looking at?"

Fitz stood slowly, joining Robbie and waving his hand. A skeleton on the x-ray feed mimicked his movements. "Us."

The image started rushing toward the van and Reyes grabbed the other three to push them away from the impact as the van was rocked by the hit, Robbie taking the brunt of it. Skye reached for him, worried for a moment before she realized he would heal. He was making the rational choice. Of course.

Skye's brain started working again. "Let's get out of here!" She grabbed the keys and was heading for the driver's seat only to have them snatched from her hand.

"No way, chica. I'm driving." Robbie's eyes were glowing and she was not about to argue.

She followed him, throwing herself in the passenger seat and turning to Fitzsimmons, who were crouched in the safest place they could find on the floor. "Call Coulson and get the gun!"

Their van was moving as Robbie pealed out and away so they could see the other white van that was backing up to ram into them again. Jemma placed the gun in Skye's hand and she did her best to remember her training with Ward.

Robbie had them turned around and Skye facing the driver of the van, ready to shoot and head back to the Bus. "It's her." Akela Amador was driving the van. Skye glanced down at the gun, leveled it at the other van, reminding herself, "Safety off," hitting a switch and holding her breath as the magazine dropped into her lap. She tossed an embarrassed look at Robbie with a small "Bang?"

Reyes didn't even react. He just gunned it. If Amador had wanted to chase them, she didn't show it. They made it to the Bus, with an angry May waiting. Skye let out a breath. Robbie released his tight grip on the steering wheel and glanced over at her. "'Bang'? Really?"

She let her head hit the seat as she tossed it back. "Oh my god. Shut up, Reyes."

[tinkdw]

Could you describe more about Jensen and Jared swapping lines in Slumber Party? What’s the story on that? This is the first I’ve heard of it.

They talk about it all the freaking time at cons. They’re so proud of it, like, we know Sam and Dean so well we knew these lines were the wrong way around so we changed them yay us! Freaking…. URGH. OK here goes.

youtube link

Original written by Robbie:

Sam: wow Joffrey’s a dick!Charlie: you have no idea, wait until -Dean: woah woah woah spoilers! I haven’t read all the books yet! Sam: you’re going to read the books? *incredulous*Dean: yes, Sam, I like to read books. *Pause*. You know, the ones without pictures *sarcastic face*

Canon because they’re freaking irritating - I still love em but jeez you just didn’t get it - idiots:

Dean: wow Joffrey’s a dick!Charlie: you have no idea, wait until -Sam: woah woah woah spoilers! I haven’t read all the books yet.Dean: you’re going to read the books?Sam: yes, Dean, I like to read books. *Pause*. You know, the ones without picturesDean: *confused face*

Which makes no sense in terms of exposition or use in the episode or, well, anything at all, all it does is REINFORCE the stupid toxic masculine facade that Dean upholds and remind us that Sam likes to read - which we already knew.

J2 just reinforced the facade BS because they didn’t understand the point the scene was making, that the BS facade is just that, A BS FACADE.

Meta writers and Robbie who wrote it that way around on purpose:

Reminder that this is also before Jensen was awkward about shooting the “Dean likes Taylor Swift” scene for exactly the same reason, that he didn’t want the Dean below the facade stuff, he likes Dean who only likes classic rock, he likes Dean who doesn’t read, acts like a dude bro, URGH. JENSEN. 

You play the guy as double faceted so well how on earth do you have such a top level Dean understanding? OK Sigh. He’s clearly better now 3+ years on but it’s still infuriating given he plays the friggin character as double faceted. It can’t be just good editing.

Reminder that during this period of episodes we are exploring why Dean throws Cas out of the bunker in parallel to Robin, the Cus’s waitress and framing his responsibility to Sam in Bad Boys, we see Dean and Sam’s toxic codependency get to the worst point in 8x23/9x01 and here we see Sam who says he’s ok with his life but he really isn’t, he’s resigned to it because he feels Dean can’t do it without him, it’s so deep in Sam/Dean dynamics, Sam wanting out but not feeling like he can because he has a responsibility to Dean to stay and Dean needing him and Dean not being able to let go of the deep parental responsibility he had forced upon him as such a young influenceable adult, where we see he gave up the chance to have so much love, tenderness and support, to have a father figure who cares about him massively contrasted in this episode to John, to potentially grow up in this positive environment and be a mechanic or a guitar playing rock star, with a girlfriend, being a normal kid and going to prom, all this exposing that he has this macho dude bro facade up in essence as a facade to protect himself from these feelings of loss at what he’s had to give up for Sam. 

It’s all SO META. I mean it’s not even that hidden subtext, you just have to listen to the story being told, it’s really not that subtextual at all, they literally say a lot of this out loud, as well as the obvious “here’s the life Dean left behind for Sam and isn’t it so tragic” whole freaking episode that followed.

Oh dear now you also have me onto the fact that these episodes were out of order when they aired for reasons and this again ties into all this. Basically the subtext being too textual so they ramped it back a bit by putting them out of order so it didn’t flow so well. But yeah, the original order had Bad Boys directly after this episode.

*No coincidence whatsoever that it all ties in together then*

*Side eyes TPTB*

*Even more pissy with the fact that they changed all this*

I mean it doesn’t really change anything for me, I can still see all this stuff regardless because I enjoy looking at things a bit deeper so I noticed anyway, but it’s irritating having to fend off idiotic antis who say this isn’t in the show because they don’t want to see it and it’s not clear enough. Chuck bless Dabb for making this all blatant now anyway :p

TL;DR Dean is multi faceted, yes sure he has a bit of a dude bro classic rock macho side but he also has another side, who likes Vonnegut, Dr Sexy, Taylor Swift (and a bunch of other music I bet we just don’t know yet), enjoys LARPING and reading Game of Thrones, later tells us he read freaking AESOP.

By season 11 Jensen is getting it a bit more and well also the show runners / writers are putting their foot down as this stuff needs to be textualised to make any sense of the actual narrative now too given they’ve rested so much on his being double faceted, needing to address the self acceptance arc etc. By 2017 he imo now does get it, given he’s started saying at cons that he used to think he was SO like Dean and now realises there are some big differences, distancing himself from the softer side of Dean I imagine, because reasons.

So yeah, Dean was supposed to say the game of thrones line, as part of his “who he really is” story beyond the facade, but they changed it to Sam saying it. Because they are adorable but irritating doofuses. 

[mastcomm]

What to Stream on Valentine’s Day

Hot Thriller, Cool Romance

‘The Thomas Crown Affair’ | YouTube, Amazon Prime Video, Google Play, iTunes, Vudu

Make sure you watch the 1968 version, not the 1999 remake. While the newer film is fine enough, the original is a textbook example of classic Hollywood at its sexiest. Steve McQueen plays a millionaire who robs banks for fun, and Faye Dunaway is the insurance investigator on his tail. There is something downright intoxicating about the two stars’ charisma, and their chemistry feels as inexorable as tectonic plates moving toward each other. When they engage in a game of chess — a real one, though the metaphorical aspect is also there — you might have to fan yourself. Michel Legrand’s alternately lush and driving score is a gem of its own. ELISABETH VINCENTELLI

When Burt Lancaster and Susan Sarandon appeared in Louis Malle’s 1980 heartbreaker, he was almost twice her age. Yet after his rueful character, a small-time hood named Lou, takes a shine to Sally (Sarandon), a struggling oyster-bar waitress, their connection develops a melancholy magic. Blending romance and crime caper, Malle has crafted a dreamy, atmospheric study of a man, and a city, in decline, and Lancaster plays him with so much tattered heart that we easily understand Sally’s surrender to Lou’s quiet courtship. Watching him spy on her each night as she stands gloriously naked in her kitchen window, rubbing lemons on her skin to banish the odor of a job she detests, there is something innocent and inoffensive in his peeking. To him, she represents all he has lost — and all he might yet salvage. JEANNETTE CATSOULIS

Watch and Weep

‘Brief Encounter’ | Amazon Prime Video, iTunes

It’s not a spoiler to say that the love affair in “Brief Encounter” does not last: The title is pretty clear on that point. Yet you will hope against hope that Laura (Celia Johnson) and Alec (Trevor Howard) somehow find a way to end up together. The enduring appeal of David Lean’s 1945 romantic masterpiece lies in the push and pull between two people’s mutual attraction and their sense of honor and duty. (They are both married to other people.) The film gently suggests the all-encompassing power of love with characters who maintain a stiff upper lip. Slight gestures and sideways glances resonate like deflagrations of unabashed desire in this context, and the effect is devastatingly emotional. ELISABETH VINCENTELLI

Sweetheart Scares

‘My Bloody Valentine’ | Shudder, Crackle, YouTube, Amazon Prime, Google Play, Vudu, iTunes

This Valentine’s Day, do like many horror fans do: Fire up the streaming service Shudder and snuggle up with your boo. Start with “My Bloody Valentine,” a 1981 Canadian slasher film about a mining town besieged on Valentine’s Day by a killer with a pickax. It’s gory and deranged, but also a strangely nostalgic slasher classic. Follow that with the new Shudder podcast “Horror Noire: Uncut,” a fascinating six-episode valentine to African-American film buffs’ love-hate romance with horror cinema, based on Shudder’s acclaimed 2019 documentary. The podcast is also available on Apple Podcasts and other platforms. ERIK PIEPENBURG

Sweet Bromance, Dude

‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’ | YouTube, iTunes, Google Play, Vudu, Amazon Prime Video, Cinemax

“Dude, where’s my car?” “Where’s your car, dude?” Were more romantic words ever spoken? Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott still make a dynamic couple in this 20-year-old stoner comedy that takes repetition to a place of absurdist enlightenment. The premise is simple: Two friends, Jesse and Chester, wake up and can’t remember the night before, including the whereabouts of said car. Yes, much of the laughs come from a puerile place, but there’s some genuine heart amid the gags. And the chemistry between these bros is palatable, from their shirtless tussle while trying to figure out what the new tattoos on their backs say to a one-upmanship showdown they have with Fabio that results in Jesse and Chester making out with each other. Sweet! MEKADO MURPHY

I Have an Hour, and I Want to Swoon-Cry

‘San Junipero’ (‘Black Mirror’ Season 3) | Netflix

The British series “Black Mirror” is famously bleak, but the Season 3 episode “San Junipero” has what passes as a happy ending in the show’s universe. Make no mistake, though: Tears will flow, prompted by a love that defies time, space, physical reality and even death itself. Mackenzie Davis’s shy, nerdy Yorkie finds herself pulled into the orbit of Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s extroverted, magnetic Kelly. The story jumps around the space-time continuum but is mostly set in 1987 America — if only, you may suspect, so it could put Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” and Robbie Nevil’s “C’est la Vie” to memorable use. While technology tends to be a nihilistic force in the series, it comes to the aid of love in “San Junipero.” Imagine that. ELISABETH VINCENTELLI

Love From Beyond the Grave

‘Atlantics’ | Netflix

In Mati Diop’s feature debut, two lovers, Ada (Mama Sané) and Souleiman (Ibrahima Traoré), are separated by forces beyond their control. Although Ada is betrothed to a wealthy man, Omar (Babacar Sylla), her affections remain with Souleiman, a suave but less prosperous suitor who leaves their coastal town in Senegal in hopes of finding steady work in Spain. Strange things begin to happen back in Senegal after Souleiman is feared dead, including a mysterious fire that disrupts Ada’s wedding celebration. Diop and the cinematographer Claire Mathon (who also worked on “Portrait of a Lady on Fire,” back in theaters this week) frame Ada and Souleiman’s enduring love as an epic romance, a passion that reverberates through Fatima Al Qadiri’s haunting score. MONICA CASTILLO

Love at Work

‘Eames: The Architect and the Painter’ | Amazon Prime, YouTube, Google Play Movies & TV, iTunes

It all started with a chair. When Charles Eames met Ray Kaiser, they were both at the height of their fields (architecture for him, abstract art for her). In his love letters, he dreamed of a future together. He destroyed her letters. After all, he was married, with a daughter. Yet their connection sparked a professional partnership that helped define design and consumer culture. The film paints the picture of a love rooted in work and a shared joy in making things. Which is to say it manages to make the business of furniture and experimental filmmaking seem terribly romantic. Charles and Ray, who eventually married, are seen smiling together in archival photos from the 1940s, ’50s and beyond, look like a pair of delightful, delighted oddballs, fussing over designs that would eventually make their way into homes across the country. Their bond flourishes as they find success, is buffeted by industry criticism, the era’s sexism, and even infidelity. Still, they forged ahead, leaving their mark on just about everything they touched. #Goals. KWAME OPAM

Love Triangle: What Could Go Wrong?

‘Broadcast News’ | Amazon, iTunes, Vudu, YouTube, Google Play

One of the great love-triangle movies of all time, James L. Brooks’s comedy-drama (set in the world of network television news) finds Holly Hunter, in her breakthrough role, as a high-strung producer torn between two potential partners: Albert Brooks (as a reporter with a great mind but no physical spark) and William Hurt (as the hotshot new anchor with a killer bod and an empty head). They’re all playing recognizable types, and dig the expected laughs out of those personalities (and their interpersonal dynamics). But Brooks’s witty, sophisticated screenplay doesn’t treat them like stock characters; these people are all both likable and deeply flawed, and the film’s refreshing lack of clear choices makes Hunter’s romantic predicament all the more poignant. JASON BAILEY

Bollywood Romance

‘Jodhaa Akbar’ | Netflix

Some love stories end in weddings; others begin with one. In the Bollywood historical romance “Jodhaa Akbar,” the Mughal emperor Akbar marries the Hindu princess Jodhaa as part of a peace arrangement with the king of a rival province. Jodhaa resents being used as a political pawn and forced into a stranger’s home, but Akbar’s acceptance of her independence and religion slowly wins her over. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Hrithik Roshan are resplendently charismatic as the lead royals: the scene in which, armed with swords, they duel it out to resolve a lover’s quarrel is one of the sexiest moments ever committed to screen. The director Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s knack for swooning romance and political intrigue — and the stunningly designed set — make the film worth every minute of its three-and-a-half-hour run time. DEVIKA GIRISH

An Ever-After That’s Actually Dreamy

‘The Thin Man’ | YouTube, Amazon Prime Video, iTunes, Google Play, Vudu

Who ever said marriage killed romance? Not Nick and Nora Charles, for whom life is a euphoric succession of dry martinis and drier banter, seasoned with a little detective action here and there. The first (and best) in what would become a successful franchise, “The Thin Man” (1934) is Hollywood screwball comedy at its most sophisticated: Everybody looks great in evening wear, cracks wise, and downs staggering amounts of alcohol while keeping their wits about them. But the key to the movie’s enduring appeal is its portrayal of an enviably liberated modern couple, played by William Powell and Myrna Loy. Partners in crime-solving and sly sex appeal, Nick and Nora don’t just love each other — they absolutely delight in each other’s company. ELISABETH VINCENTELLI

Why Fight Destiny?

‘Crossing Delancey’ | Amazon, iTunes, Vudu, YouTube, Google Play

Opposites attract, in spite of all attempts to stifle said attraction, in this bewitching 1988 romantic comedy from the director Joan Micklin Silver. Amy Irving stars as Izzy, a downtown woman who’s moved uptown and fancies herself a sophisticate. So she dismisses her grandmother’s attempt to find her a husband via a matchmaker — especially when the suitor is the neighborhood pickle vendor (Peter Riegert). “I don’t live down here, I live uptown,” she assures him, and refuses to admit her obvious attraction, because of the backward step a romance with him seems to represent. Susan Sandler’s complex screenplay (based on her play) hits the expected will-they-or-won’t-they rom-com beats, but underscores them with complicated dynamics of cultural assimilation; the result is an sparkling, dizzy New York romance in the “Moonstruck” tradition. JASON BAILEY

Rom-Com, French Style

‘Heartbreaker’ | YouTube, Google Play, iTunes, Amazon Prime Video

This French charmer may remind you of the romantic-caper style that flourished in Hollywood from the late 1950s to the mid-60s. It is so sneakily funny and charming that it can shoulder such references as “To Catch a Thief,” whose Riviera setting this 2010 film echoes. Alex (Romain Duris) has a very special profession: Anxious friends and parents pay him to break up mismatched couples by seducing the woman. Things go south after Alex is hired to wreck the impending nuptials of Juliette (Vanessa Paradis) and Jonathan (a pre-“Walking Dead” Andrew Lincoln), and he finds himself actually drawn to his target. As with the best rom-coms, the romance feels ineluctable, no matter how hard the two leads fight it — but what fun it is to watch Duris and Paradis spar. ELISABETH VINCENTELLI

Bad Romance

‘The Souvenir’ | YouTube, Google Play, Vudu, Amazon Prime Video

The best rule of love is to love yourself. It’s a lesson that the film student Julie (Honor Swinton Byrne) learns the hard way as she falls under the spell of a dashing and charming older man, Anthony (Tom Burke). He’s not quite what he seems: As his drug addiction gradually strains the relationship, they engage in a vicious cycle of breakups and reconciliations. As much as this movie is about a bad romance, it’s also about what happens after Julie walks away. Based on her own youthful heartache, the director Joanna Hogg reimagines her experience in a gorgeous work of art, one that wrestles with the messy feelings of a toxic love affair. MONICA CASTILLO

A Time for Sportsmance

‘Bull Durham’ | YouTube, Google Play, Amazon Prime Video, iTunes, Vudu, Hulu

‘Tin Cup’ | YouTube, Amazon Prime Video, iTunes, Google Play, Vudu

With two sportsmance classics under their belt, the director Ron Shelton and his star, Kevin Costner, are the rightful masters of this subgenre. In “Bull Durham” (1988), Costner portrays a woeful Minor Leaguer courting baseball-crazy Susan Sarandon; in “Tin Cup” (1996), his self-sabotaging golfer becomes entangled with a psychologist played by Rene Russo. What’s great about these movies is that they show adults figuring things out, rather than, as has been the case with too many recent rom-coms, leaving characters stuck in arrested development. While the sports action can feel a little hokey — but then, that’s exactly how we like sports action — the human element has a wonderfully genuine lived-in quality. And, in “Bull Durham,” when Costner’s Crash lists “long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days” as one of the things he believes in — well, game over. ELISABETH VINCENTELLI

Love and Other Existential Puzzles

‘Phoenix’ | Criterion Channel, YouTube, Amazon Prime Video, iTunes, Google Play

‘Transit’ | Vudu, YouTube, Google Play, Amazon Prime Video

In “Phoenix,” by the German director Christian Petzold, a Holocaust survivor, Nelly, is recruited by her husband — who fails to recognize her after her facial reconstruction surgery — to pretend to be his “dead” wife so he can obtain her inheritance. Nelly, clinging to the charade of the love that she’s lost forever, plays along with his “Vertigo”-esque scheme even after his betrayals become slowly evident. Keep the tissues handy for Petzold’s “Transit,” about a Jewish refugee in Marseilles who is mistaken for and then starts impersonating a dead writer, and becomes enamored with the writer’s wife. Shot in a seductive, minimalist style, both movies (strange doppelgängers of each other) beautifully capture the tragic desire to become someone else — someone new — through love. DEVIKA GIRISH

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