#and please stop rating fics in bookmarks it's awful

[dorlilymylovesss]

marauders fandom getting too comfortable with trash talking other people fics

what happened to fandom etiquette?

"but I have the right to criticize a fanfic if I don't like it."

bro, it's literally a FREE story written on pure enthusiasm, criticizing free works that are created for fun as if it's a published book you paid money for is dumb, you can just close the work and just forget about it.

Okay adequate criticism is good, if the author themselves self asked for it, but in most cases it's a lame mockery of the plot, writing style and most importantly the author.

I just can't understand why this fandom is so eager to get rid of its creators.

[wrongcaitlyn]

wrongcaitlyn 2024 fic recs masterlist

SO. i always like to keep track of how many fics i read throughout the year, and in 2024 i read about 28.3 million words of fanfic. i know. i don't have a life. most fics read were in july (4.4m words) and least fics read were in september (797k words). BUT throughout those 28.3m words i do think i found some incredible fics throughout the year, which i bookmark as recs to reread :) because of this, i thought i'd do a little ao3 wrapped sort of thing and share all of my bookmarked fics this year as recs!! i read pretty much all kinds of fics so please check tags/warnings/ratings if you choose to read them

and, as it's a new year, i'm also always constantly bookmarking more recs. if you wanna check those out they're on my ao3! i highly recommend reading every single fic there bc they're all incredible <33

this is going to be long, so i decided to split it up by fandom - and all of these lists are ordered by the date i read them, not any specific ranking or anything. gonna include the date bookmarked, ship (if there is one), ch count and word count bc,,, yeah these are going to be very varied!!

fandoms included:

percy jackson - 21 fics (jan 6 - nov 5) tsoa/the iliad - 7 fics (jan 26 - oct 18) miraculous ladybug - 2 fics (feb 19 - feb 23) harry potter - 6 fics (june 30 - july 8) the secret history - 1 fic (oct 4) arcane - 18 fics (nov 13 - dec 31) + 2 honorable mentions

PERCY JACKSON - aka, the main hyperfixation

The Request Revolution by tiredpjofan - 1/6/2024, gen, 3 ch, 4.8k

Percy sees that some of the newer campers don't feel 100% comfortable with requesting stuff from their godly parents, so he decides to rectify that the only way he knows how -- dramatically. i know this one is insanely popular but i only got around to reading it this year, and!! genuinely just a funny, fluffy piece that makes me happy :))

whoopsie daisy! by buoyantsaturn - 1/21/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 3.2k

Will almost missed the way Tartarus had dulled his senses, distracting him from his own pain and preventing him from knowing the full extent of Nico’s.  angst. i love angst. i vividly remember reading this at like 2 am and then bookmarking it and then reading it again in the morning and having to re-experience the pain

long story short by takeimi - 2/25/2024, percabeth, one-shot, 4.5k

percy starts a youtube vlog channel and raises one too many questions. i mean it's a socmed fame au need i say anything more

i'm put in awe (of something so flawed and free) by CordeliaRose - 3/2/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 15.9k

Right. Well. Nico squares his shoulders, reminds himself that nobody’s perfect and this guy has to be ugly, and knocks on the door. He is met with a Greek God, and forgets how to function. AKA: the archaeologist!Nico & trauma surgeon!Will AU. i already included this (and probably a few other fics i'm gonna mention) in my solangelo fic recs list, so i'm not gonna say that much but just know i prob reread this like 4 times already it's so <33 AND IT HAS A SEQUEL NOW

paper/plastic by Rosyredlipstick - 3/10/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 14.2k

When Nico di Angelo's favorite, most dependable gas station for midnight snacks etcetera is shut down due to some incredibly far-fetched and completely unnecessary health code violations, he's forced to start going to the sister franchise down the street, where a certain blond clerk seems to always be working (like, almost in an unhealthy way). Also, on a definitely unrelated note, Nico now volunteers to do any & all gas station convenience store runs. Leo — stop laughing. i'm also 99% sure i read this before 2024 and then lost it and found it again, BUT I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH IT'S SO SWEET AND AGHSDF love background lost trio, their dynamics are so perfect

a letter to the moon (it is not brighter than you) by theroyalsavage - 3/12/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 7.1k

When his kingdom is plagued by a series of unsolvable murders, Prince Will Solace must confront several things: tragedy, helplessness, and the dizzy-sweet inevitability of falling in love. just solangelo medieval au that's absolutely perfect

I Need a Hero by theroyalsavage - 3/12/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 3.8k

The "Nico is a superhero, Will is a med student" AU nobody asked for or wanted. SUPERHERO AU HELL YES!!! no srsly the way this author writes their dynamic i'm in love <33 (also yes both this and the previous one were written ages ago, okay i was catching up on solangelo fics i missed from being late to the fandomJSDF

Solar Powered by Caora - 3/19/2024, apollo/naomi but also gen, one-shot, 14.8k

Apollo, god of music, was how he had introduced himself. Naomi had assumed he was joking, and he didn't correct her. She had dated musicians and poets before. They all had an ego, and those same words would not have felt out of place from either of her exes. She merely downgraded Apollo from potential boyfriend to potential fling, and didn't think twice about it. Now though…. Now her son could heal wounds with a single touch, and her world was tipping on its axis. this is actually canon to me now. i love naomi solace so much. THIS IS CANON TO ME. also just so beautifully written <33

la vita è fatta così by HowlingAlchemist - 3/19/2024, solangelo, 25 ch, 109.4k

When Bianca somehow comes back from the dead, she, Nico and Will are sent on a quest that will hopefully answer some lingering questions. But Nico and Bianca are not the kids that they once were, and things get very difficult as a result. i love fics that straight up feel like they could be their own books and this is one of them. so well-written and the angst!!!! i died but i was happy about it

hold me, thrill me, kiss me by restinreeses - 3/29/2024, valgrace, one-shot, 3.5k

“You love me,” Leo declares, his smirk widening with every passing second. “You, the great Jason Grace, love me.” He fumbles for his words, but they melt in his mouth as Leo's hands snaked up the small of his back – those delicate fingers tracing patterns into his skin that burnt worse than his SPQR tattoo. “I wouldn’t call myself great,” he mutters at last. Leo leans in, raising one thick eyebrow. “I dunno,” he says, “I’d say you’re pretty great.” His lips brush over Jason's, once, twice. “You know. For loving me.” me being briefly obsessed with valgrace and this was definitely part of the reason this fic was so <33 i love them so much and this fic was incredibly written

but we were in screaming color by tunacucumber - 4/2/2024, valgrace, one-shot, 3.2k

It feels inevitable, somehow, when he grabs Jason by the collar of his shirt and tugs him forward. it starts with a ridiculous heatwave. starting off with an incredible title, but AHHSHDFHSD THE VALGRACE DYNAMIC IS JUST PERFECT

Champion by TsarinaTorment - 4/5/2024, gen, one-shot, 1.3k

She always said she was going to make it to the Olympics, and aged eighteen, it finally happened. yall already know how much i love their fics and the kayla centric of it all!!!! THIS IS CANON TO ME ITS LITERALLY PERFECT.

Blood-Soaked Flowers by TsarinaTorment - 4/8/2024, gen, one-shot, 4.8k

Will knows what’s wrong with him. He just doesn’t know why. another one of TsarinaTorment's ToApril fics and god. this one made me so. i can't even. like i still remember reading this for the first time the twist made my heart WRENCH platonic angst will be the death of me

apple cider and freezer burn by yrbeecharmer - 4/10/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 2.4k

“Somebody pissed off McCaffrey,” Cecil says miserably from the Iris message flickering in midair, in the middle of Nico’s cabin, at two in the morning on a godsdamn Thursday. “So she sent, like, a dozen karpoi to surprise attack us in the middle of the night. We’ve been trying to get rid of them, but they just keep respawning. Can you come poke them with your magic sword?” Nico stares at him. “No.” “Oh, come on! Why not?” “It’s two in the morning! I was sleeping!” i just love general camp shenanigans and this one was SO PERFECT

And I Miss My Lover, Man by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays - 4/17/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 3.6k

In a single well-aimed strike, Nico knocked Riptide out of Percy’s hand and sent it skittering into the forest. Before Percy could react, Nico shoved him down, and stood over him, about to claim victory. And that was when the world shattered. His entire chest suddenly felt like it was being fractured, torn apart bit by bit. He felt a soul leave a body, alone and in pain and miles from home. He saw, in a hazy mental image, someone else’s last view of the sky overhead, and then silence. pure angst. proceed with caution and read warnings. this broke me at like 2 am in the morning

i do adore by rabbit_soup - 5/1/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 1.8k

“I appreciate it,” he said. “I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t…okay for a while. I’m definitely still not.” “Look who you’re talkin’ to,” Will said with a smile. Nico snorted, “Yeah, that’s true. You are feeling better, yeah?” Will detangled himself from Nico, rolling up his sleeves. The Empousa injuries had since faded in the past month. Now, they were nothing more than thick white scratches, and even those were fading by the day. this entire series is just so wonderful and so sweet and i love these boys so much omfgjsdfj they deserve everything :(((

my home wears your face by solisaureus - 5/29/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 9.8k

Three years after being dumped by Will Solace, Nico pushes himself too far with shadow travel again. Unfortunately, the only person on Earth who knows how to treat advanced shadow sickness happens to be his ex-boyfriend. THE EMOTIONS I FELT READING THIS AT LIKE 9 IN THE MORNING RIGHT WHEN I WOKE UP I LITERALLY DIED. like seriously this fic is so insanely good. omfg. please. please go read rn. i can't even it was so sweet but also heartbreaking but hopeful and the solangelo dynamic was just absolutely perfect

the first lovers in the world by rottenpomegranate - 9/15/2024, solangelo, one-shot, 6k

Their relationship changes, from the way it was when they were fourteen, clammy hands and shy smiles, to how it is when they're nearing the edge of adulthood, working together to figure out what to do with all this love they hold. just the most gorgeous and perfectly written solangelo coming of age fic, i love them

Son of Sea Foam by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle - 10/20/2024, castor/percy, 12 ch, 196.4k

AU where Percy has to hide the fact he's a Big Three kid otherwise he'll be killed on the spot. Unfortunately for him, unclaimed kids tend to raise the most suspicion... but he might have found a loophole in the form of Aphrodite. okay yea this one just left me reeling for days. weeks even. this is a total rewrite of what pjo could have been and though i may have questioned it going into it, i should have never doubted any bit of this- this is just a masterpiece of writing, like, seriously. the way that all of the character arcs were written, the deaths meaningful, the plot insanely well-thought out?? i am in awe. i read this and the sequel within a 6 hour car drive bc i was just so insanely hooked on every detail of this universe- seriously, the worldbuilding was insane, the oc's so perfectly intertwined, and the lore perfectly incorporated. SERIOUSLY if you want a pjo fic to completely alter your brain chemistry, this is the one.

Set in Stone by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle - 10/24/2024, gen, 7 ch, 38.2k

Medusa’s sculptures are mysteriously coming back to life. Percy doesn’t think murder is an unreasonable action given the circumstances. THIS WAS SO PERFECT. it was so hilarious while at the same time keeping a serious tone, but the banter and the dialogue and everything just made it such an enjoyable read (oh, and the ending. the ending is perfect.)

say you want a hero (you don't) by pjowithbluecookies - 11/5/2024, percabeth/gen, HP CROSSOVER, 12 ch, 4k

Narcissa Malfoy will do whatever it takes to save her son, and if that meant blackmailing demigods into saving the world again, then so be it. wasn't sure whether to include this in pjo or hp but so far the characters have been mainly pjo centric so i'd say that. and like. i know this was last updated in sep 2023 but god is the premise so insanely good. im so invested in the plot even tho it was only 12k words and unfinished. went through a brief phase of looking for good quality pjo/hp crossovers and this one just holds so much promise

THE SONG OF ACHILLES/THE ILIAD - aka, the one that pops up every few months

Sunset in Your Veins by Baejax - 1/26/2024, patrochilles, 24 ch, 100.4k

Achilles recognizes Tartarus when he sees it, dark, and gray, and ugly and freezing. Pat cannot explain why he brought home the lunatic who stole a dog and burst into the veterinarian office where he works. The man can't even speak English. This is a disaster. im almost 100% sure that i read this in 2023 and then i lost it and then i found it again, reread it, and bookmarked it, and then reread it again some other time this year, which just goes to show how much i love this fic. like. damn just thinking abt it i should read it again. absolutely incredible

Our numbered days by Baejax - 4/15/2024, patrochilles, 2 ch, 10.1k

It's their senior year of college, Patroclus has his first serious girlfriend, and Achilles is happy for him. Really. something about this made me want to cry so bad like the angst was just. god. but it was also so absolutely wonderful at the end and made me want to scream with joy. idk dude the emotions this made me feel in just 10k words was insane

Death and Fate by Baejax - 8/10/2024, patrochilles, series of 21 works, 444.5k

[Series summary] In every universe... I will have them divorce and then get back together. so i think the proper name for this fandom's section is actually just me being obsessed with everything Baejax writes. bc like. seriously go read every fic here. absolutely insane quality. this is basically just a collection of patrochilles au's and they're all incredible !!!!

The Spindle by AMBlue - 9/24/2024, patrochilles, 5 ch, 26.9k

After Patroclus’ death, Achilles begs for the chance to change the past. His wish is granted, but he finds himself trapped repeating the same day over and over as he tries and fails to save his beloved. Character death but I swear this is a fix-it fic with a happy ending. HELL YEAH THE ILIAD FIX IT FIC

Sweet Victory by Baejax - 9/29/2024, patrochilles, 9 ch, 21k

Achilles and Patroclus are just friends, friends who are now roommates since they've started university and who just happen to make out with each other on the regular, but that's just their own weird friend thing that no one else needs to know about. It's not a big deal. Right? this was absolutely hilarious. they own the idiots to lovers tag

you're a walking disaster, and yet- by Johaerys - 10/6/2024, patrochilles, 23 ch, 148.2k

"You'll meet my son, Achilles, soon," Mr Pelides told Patroclus on their drive there. "You two will get along just fine. He's as wild as they come, though." The indulgent pride with which he said the words made them sound almost like a compliment. "Don’t let him talk you into anything." Patroclus blushed as he swore, with strong conviction, that he would absolutely not do that. No sir. He knows better than that. modern patrochilles friends to lovers done perfectly, this was just an insanely good read

Twin Flames by Johaerys - 10/18/2024, patrochilles, 12 ch, 70.1k

Achilles is the young Prince of Phthia, Patroclus is his squire, in a story where they come together, come apart, then find each other all over again. THIS FIC. THIS FIC. OMFGJSDFJSDF THE MEDIEVAL AU I NEEDED THIS WAS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION. their pining throughout all of this made my heart ache but it was all so worth it this is perfect

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG - aka, the hyperfixation from four years ago that randomly showed up for a few weeks

The Great Banana Search by walkingonthestars - 2/19/2024, gen, 3 ch, 10.6k

A small, careless move by Hawk Moth exposes his identity to a citizen of Paris. But this citizen has a secret identity of their own, and that makes finding them and taking care of the situation a rather slippery pursuit. Basically, Mr. Banana sees Hawk Moth detransform, and Gabriel and Nathalie work to find out who's behind the banana suit so they can shut him up before he talks. As Gabriel fears that the person in the peel was none other than Cat Noir himself, he also notices that Adrien seems to upset and hiding something. i have no idea what possessed me to read mlb fanfic in the year 2025. i haven't watched the show since quarantine. but god is this probably the funniest fucking fic i've read all year. i was in tears laughing at 3 am. PLEASE READ.

Imbalance by thelibraryloser - 2/23/2024, marichat, 16 ch, 42.4k

Chat Noir is fighting evil all on his own, not aware he’s supposed to be half of a whole. Hawkmoth is desperate to get his hands on the Black Cat and Ladybug Miraculous, knowing that if he causes enough destruction the world will demand balance and the Ladybug will have to appear. And when she does, she's not what anyone expected. Chat thought having a partner would feel different- maybe like how he feels talking to the girl on the balcony. again, i really don't know why i was in a brief mlb phase, but i was- and this was just so well-written and beautiful <33 i was scouring ao3 for interesting au's and im a sucker for marichat so this was perfect

HARRY POTTER aka, the hyperfixation that came out of nowhere during the summer and proceeded to flip my world upside down with the fics i read during this phase

Dog's Best Friend by Ray_Writes - 6/30/2024, gen, 6 ch, 16.3k

When Rubeus Hagrid is placed in the cell next to notorious murderer Sirius Black, truths are revealed and events are changed. man i just love a good fix-it. this felt so realistic and just made me so happy. i don't know why i was reading harry potter that wasn't marauders this year but for some reason i was and this was wonderful

Disrespect Authority by Ray_Writes - 7/1/2024, hinny, 17 ch, 122.9k

Harry chooses to confide in Ginny about his miserable Occlumency lessons, not realizing the youngest Weasley might just have a thing or two to say about someone poking around his head when he doesn’t want it. Together, they hatch a plan to get him out of the lessons that has a variety of unintended consequences: an opening for Dolores Umbridge to tighten her hold over the castle, a clue to set the last true Marauders on the trail of Voldemort’s secrets, and a beginning of something more between Harry and Ginny themselves. some wrongcaitlyn lore for y'all, my very first fic that i read was hinny. my very first several fics. i know im such a bore for having the main canon ship be what introduced me to fandom but it turns out i still have such a soft spot for them and this fic is way better than canon was so i'm just going to pretend that it is canon bc any way to ignore what j*r wrote is great. anyway this is ootp canon for me now

This Is Just What Human Means (For Me) by WoodenSuitcase - 7/1/2024, gen, one-shot, 6.8k

Out of the family, only Bill knew Charlie was aroace. It wasn't that Charlie didn't want to tell the others – he just never seemed to find the right moment for it! When the perfect opportunity arose in the form of a Christmas visit to the Burrow, Charlie made it his mission to finally come out. As it turns out, things never go as smoothly as one intends, even with his older brother by his side. aroace charlie my beloved <33 went through a brief obsession with him and honestly all of the weasleys throughout this time period (and like seriously. i just went from one weasley family member to the next idk why) but this was so sweet

Ben Folds's Series by orphan_account - 7/5/2024, perciver, series of three fics, 37.8k

[summary from the first fic of the series] Wherein book 7 is completely ignored because wars don't tend to happen so quickly; Percy Weasley runs a safehouse [because that's as close to administrative work as you can get in a war], and everyone gets a chance to play minor character bingo. Get your cards and markers ready! the way this author wrote perciver... god this was just perfect like seriously. if you want to start reading this ship PLEASE read this one

James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, (pause for breath) and the Prisoner of Azkaban by gonzoclock - 7/6/2024, wolfstar/gen, 17 ch, 32.7k

At the end of first year, Harry pocketed the Philosopher's Stone- in a secret pocket that everyone else missed. Now, two years later, Harry is in his third year, his friends are having the time of their lives in Hogsmeade, there's an escaped mass murderer running around, and Harry is going stir-crazy. Fortunately, the twins have a solution! Although- they're going to need something in return, and it needs to be good. Good thing Harry kept that Stone, huh? And then things go completely bat-shit crazy. (featuring the Marauders vs 1993, an exhausted Professor Lupin, a bewildered Harry Potter, and an opportunistic Hermione Granger) pure crack. i love it.

The Second String by Eider_Down - 7/8/2024, harry/gideon, 45 ch, 409.8k

Everyone knows Dementors can take souls, but nothing says that they have to keep them. After the Dementor attack in Little Whinging ends disastrously, Harry must find a place for himself in a new world, fighting a different sort of war against the nascent Voldemort. *deep breath in* okay. okay hear me out. okay listen please. like seriously. this may just be the best fic i read all year. AND I PUT SERIOUS WEIGHT IN THAT. AND I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE IM SAYING IT ABOUT AN HP FIC. BUT LIKE. IM BEING SO FR RIGHT NOW. the way that this fic literally altered my brain chemistry and left me in shambles. the amount of detail that went into the plot and the lore. i could read another 400k words of this universe and it still wouldn't be enough. the author is literally so crazily talented they made me ship harry potter x gideon prewett (no weird age gap going on trust me, there's a lot of time travel stuff going on- they are around the same age biologically and mentally). like seriously if i had to recommend one fic from this year it would be this. which is insane to say. but i cannot understate how incredible this work of fanfiction is like genuinely, i hope that this author is out there writing incredible original works because they integrated oc's into the plot so seamlessly, made these incredible relationships and orchestrated the plot so perfectly that i was just completely immersed. i could go on for way longer but like. all i could think when finishing this was woah. holy fucking shit. idk if i'll ever read a fic as insane as that again.

THE SECRET HISTORY aka, i read the book and needed more

No Room For the Present by lessnearthesun - 10/4/2024, francis/richard, 3 ch, 65.9k

Post-canon, Richard and Francis, and all that comes after. A drama in three parts. no seriously this reads perfectly as a continuation of the book. like it's genuinely- every word, the writing style, the characterization, it's all so perfect. breaks my heart at times but it wouldn't be the secret history if it didn't, if you read the book please please go read this!!!

ARCANE aka, the return of the lesbians; aka, home sweet home; aka, my life's entire purpose starting in november; aka, the literal love of my life arcane writers please take my soul and turn it into more caitvi fanfics

no seriously. why are there no other recs past nov 6 in the other fandoms? bc it was literally all this. 20 arcane recs in a matter of less than two months. 7m+ words read from just arcane fics in nov-dec.

now on to the recs!!

Promise on both sides by paxbanana - 11/13/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 10.4k

Caitlyn seeks to right the wrongs she dealt Zaun. She doesn't expect to get the opportunity to do the same with Vi. For her part, Vi's not one for last words or martyr shit, and she's not about to let Caitlyn get away with it either. now canon divergent bc it was written right after act 1 came out, but god was this so heartbreaking to see. such a good take on what could have happened in place of act 2/3, and the characterizations were just perfect

knit them tight by qwahaXahn - 11/22/2024, caitlyn & jinx, 3 ch, 3.4k

The hunt for Warwick goes horribly wrong, and Jinx can only think of one person to help her save Vi. Unfortunately, Caitlyn Kiramman wants her dead. A character study of two women in the process of changing, and how they finally, finally start healing. CAITLYN AND JINX ARE MY EVERYTHING (IN A SISTER IN LAW KIND OF WAY) AND THIS WAS SOMETHING SO GUTWRENCHINGLY PERFECT FOR THEIR INTERACTIONS BOTH OF THEM ARE JUST WRITTEN SO WELL AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS

Too Close / Too Late by AiLaikJedi - 11/24/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 7.7k

As Caitlyn recovers from the Battle at Piltover, Vi learns that caring for her means facing the grief she’s tried to bury. filled the void i had searching for post-canon fics, this was just so perfect. no words it was beautifully written

The Willingness to Walk Away, The Courage to Try Again by Barakis - 11/24/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 7.1k

You let go for them, to save them from themselves. Otherwise, they’ll never find the strength to do it on their own, Vi realizes, and that realization only adds to her pain and heaving sobs. Jinx understood what Vi didn’t. She saw what her big sister couldn’t until it was too late. That in order to break the cycle of pain and violence, one of them needed to have the strength to walk away. And that person was never going to be Vi. another post-canon fic, honestly a blend of all of these are canon to me because they're all just so well written and perfect for the characters <3

i love you, i'm waiting for you by thehaakun - 11/24/2024, caitvi, 2 ch, 11.8k

Growth sometimes only came from discomfort, from a healthy fear of the unknown, from an innate desire to move out of old habits, dead pasts. She can’t accept what you and I both know. Caitlyn and Vi recover from the aftermath of the war. There's a long path ahead for them both, and their cities. can you tell the finale broke me??? because it did. but ao3 is curing all my wounds. this was so beautiful, a perfect glimpse into post-canon

will you fix me up (will you show me hope) by CharKoal - 11/29/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 2.8k

The last piece of Vi’s heart lays here, broken and bleeding, and somehow finds the nerve to smile. In the aftermath of the battle, Vi finds Caitlyn. another incredible post-canon fic, the glimpse into vi's mental state after the explosion was just so perfect

Shotgun by Cenodoxus - 12/6/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 8k

"Vi, you can either stay here with your severely injured girlfriend, or you can go desecrate a corpse. You can't do both." "What the fuck kind of bullshit ultimatum is that?" Vi finds Caitlyn after the climactic battle. i'm repeating myself a lot on these because YES technically they're all covering the same topic, but seriously, all of them add little details that just help complete my picture of everything that comes post-canon and compiles into my vision of what happens, and i need all of them to breathe, and this one was absolutely lovely

crash into me (i'm drowning here alone) by CharKoal - 12/8/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 7.3k

The color marks Vi like a scar. Blue hair, blue smoke, a glowing blue sphere and a bright blue explosion. Three bright blue explosions. It follows her, threatens to drown her in its depths. Blue haunts her dreams. She learns, later, that red tarnishes Caitlyn's. In the days following the battle, Vi grapples with the burden of her grief and finds that guilt has already crushed Caitlyn beneath its weight. okay yeah just from the summary you can tell that this is one of the most gut-wrenching fics i have here. seriously the writing quality of this???? absolutely astronomical. literally insane. PLEASE go read this and have your heart torn out

Restitution by dilapidatedcorvid - 12/8/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 2.3k

By all definition, they marvel, she is a medical miracle; her soul sewn back into this mortal vessel by the heroic efforts of the finest Piltover had to offer and cradled in a web of tubing and lines dripping saline and blood and therapies into her veins until they were reasonably sure she was ready to move from the antiseptic sterility of the hospital to the comfort of her own room to recuperate. Caitlyn doesn’t feel like a miracle. Or, Caitlyn is concussed and on bedrest, so she does the only thing she can: think. i love a good character study and this one just dove into caitlyn perfectly. y'all already know she's my fav character, so it makes me extremely happy when her character arc is done justice like in this fic- this is canon, to me

the love we let ourselves deserve by taq - 12/9/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 7.2k

Caitlyn watches the Noxian ships leave the harbor, stands there at the edge, the wind whipping her hair about, the chill sharp in the early morning sun. She watches words she wishes she could have said fizzle into the salty air, watches the tiniest specks of red disappear into the horizon, flecks of blood trapped beneath her nails that she’ll never wash out. There’s a tug to her hand. She turns, and there Vi is. There Vi is, warm and open and loving like she doesn’t care, like it’s alright, like there’s nothing wrong. It’s too much. another post-canon healing story, this one diving more into caitlyn's mental state after the war and it just. god. the guilt the pain the angst it's so perfect.

il y a toujours quelque chose d'absent qui me tourmente by lazy_universes - 12/9/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 11.1k

If pressed, Vi would probably say she couldn't really see the point of yet another monument. Graves, at least, were private enough, but a statue of Jinx in the middle of Zaun was hardly the place where she could mourn for her sister in solitude. If Pilties wanted to assuage their guilt or if Zaunites wanted to send a message, she honestly couldn’t care less. If she had her way, she’d have nothing to do with it. At that point in life, Vi should already be aware she hardly, if ever, had things go her way. this is actually 100% canon to me, seriously just thinking about vi and the alternate universe and her place in the world in the main universe now just makes me want to cry, but this fic just explored it so well and has one of the best vi characterizations ever.

Heart Made of Glass, My Mind of Stone by Phoenix314 - 12/25/2024, caitvi, 18 ch, 104k

In order to avoid time in Stillwater Prison, Vi must complete community service after getting caught stealing from Jayce Talis, the prot��gé of the wealthy and intelligent Councilor Cassandra Kiramman. Instead of spending her nights working at The Last Drop and her days looking after her siblings in Zaun, she now has to be the errand girl to one of the most powerful people in Piltover. However, Vi soon realizes that something isn’t right. What secret project is Jayce working on? Why does the councilor keep sending Vi on strange assignments? And why won’t Caitlyn Kiramman leave Vi alone about what life is like in Zaun? Something is festering in the underbelly of both cities and Vi is beginning to suspect that the Kirammans know more than anyone realizes. okay thIS. THIS FIC IS INSANE. first of all i just wanna say holy shit author for writing 104k words in less than a month and it still being ongoing. mad respect. made even more insane by how high quality every bit of this fic is, i LOVE a good young caitvi au and this just flew to the top of my ranking of them since i started reading- excitedly awaiting every update on this because i just love how in-depth the worldbuilding and characters are. oh, and cassandra?? MOST ICONIC CHARACTER EVER. LOVE HER. this one just dove so deeply into the kiramman family and that makes me SO happy, and i can't wait to see where it ends up going <3

Coming home to you by mkhhhx - 12/27/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 20.2k

“You are not taking good enough care of yourself,” Caitlyn starts, looking towards the fountain. She’s lost weight and her cheeks are hollowed, the knuckles of her hand too pronounced into Vi’s grasp. “I need you now, more than ever, Violet.” “You have me,” Vi says, as a matter of fact. As if she has anyone else to live for, to give her loyalty to. “In any way you’d want me.” another post-canon fic that's just so beautifully written. like srsly what are they feeding caitvi authors. this was insanely good, and just makes my caitvi heart so happy. HEALING TAG I LOVE YOU!!!

one single thread of gold tied me to you by piltovervscogirl - 12/28/2024, caitvi, one-shot, 10.8k

five lifetimes where caitlyn and vi found each other & one where they didn’t THE AMOUNT OF THOUGHTS I HAVE ABOUT EACH OF THESE UNIVERSES LIKE HOLY SHIT!!!! they are THE invisible string couple

A Family Affair by orayofsunshine - 12/28/2024, caitvi, 6 ch, 30.8k

Vi doesn’t introduce girls to her family. First, she’s not one to date or see a girl for more than a date or two, so there’s never anyone to introduce to them anyways. She’s too busy and too broke to keep a steady girlfriend. Second, her family is nuts, and no one should be subjected to their unique brand of torture. Or, How Caitlyn Ends Up Meeting Vi’s Whole Family On Accident this just made my heart so happy while also making me cackle. like woah an arcane fic that doesn't make me want to rip my heart out (in a good way). this was so so cute and perfect and A FULL FAMILY FOR VI!!!! HELL FUCKING YEAH

Hotshot by SarcastCity - 12/28/2024, caitvi, 50 ch, 242.6k

Caitlyn's route to work as a detective at the 51st Precinct takes her right by Fire Station #516, and Vi's been pining after the gorgeous Mystery Woman for six months...what will happen when she finds out that Caitlyn's a cop (AKA: The Enemy)? okay so. WOAH. OMFGJSDFJSD. i was a *tiny* bit late to the train on this one but boy am i glad that i read it when it was all complete bc i literally read this in the span of one day. yes. i was hooked to my phone on yet another 6 hour drive, absolutely consumed by this masterpiece of a fic. and then went on to go read everything else by this author bc the fucking TALENT this is just. insanely good!!!!

Ginkgo by Mango_Magpie - 12/30/2024, caitvi, 5 ch, 22k

Vi never thought she'd get a second chance at life. Now, thrust back into a world she no longer recognizes, she sets out to reconnect with lost loved ones, bonding with a new one along the way. missing scenes from s1!!! holy shit this just made me so nostalgic for 2021 again what the fuck!!!! this is canon to me. like, entirely. the fic before this in the series is also a depiction of vi's time in prison and is also canon to me. this author just writes so beautifully, and everything feels so in character, like i could genuinely imagine these scenes playing out in front of me as part of the show. absolutely incredible, will most definitely be re-reading

taking a leap forward (means leaving a few things behind) by thefifthchris - 12/31/2024, gen, 9 ch, 37.5k

Time slows. Four seconds. Ekko shouts. Something is wrong. There’s no time to think. Heimerdinger jumps out of the singularity, and, in his place– Powder takes the leap. In another timeline, Piltover tries to rebuild. No Hexgate, no fancy Hextech, nothing. Vi is familiar with this: raw labor, strength as its own language, sweat dripping between her shoulder blades. No, she thinks. There is no time to mourn. A tale of two sisters. Even worlds apart, they'll still always find each other. got to read this one as it updated and this was just a beautiful exploration of what could've happened if powder tried to recreate the anomaly (a question that im pretty sure everyone asked after the end of ep 7) - it was a wonderful fix-it while also staying true to all of the characters and exploring their relationships post-canon <3

and that is the end <3 shout-out to two honorable mentions:

hold me (like I never did anything to hurt you) by WishingonAStar, which just barely didn't make the cut off bc i read it past midnight on new years day.

and Run at the Cup. by TheHomelyBadger which i can firmly say is one of my top 3 best reads of the year (the others being The Second String and Son of Sea Foam), but wasn't included in this list because i first bookmarked it on may 27, 2022 back when it was originally updating. bc i sort of fell out of the fandom i didn't end up keeping up with the updates and so i got to re-read it in its entirety in december and was just completely blown away by how incredible it was, i could easily read 300k more words about this universe, it's an absolute masterpiece - i mean, it made me care about sports, which let me tell you is the most impossible job there is.

[eeclare]

Haikyuu Fic Masterlist Pt. 7

Part 6 here

Part 5 here

Part 4 here

Part 3 here

Part 2 here

Part 1 here

The ever long awaited (by no one) masterlist part 7. I seriously did not think that this would have so many parts. (ps: am high writing this high so forgive for type-os)

One of my fav ships for a little while was YakuLev and yet, I barely have any fic recs for them. They’re just not usually the main pairing in a fic so it’s hard to find decently written fics for them. BUT I still have a few recommendations for them so enjoy!

Haiba Lev x Yaku Morisuke

One Step Closer

Word count: 8,192

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Yaku is an omega who likes to nest, and Lev is an alpha with a really nice scent. Unfortunately.

STOP omg I’m so sorry but you have to admit A/B/O is literally such an interesting and fun trope to read it’s just so strange and yet, so popular

The Lion and the House Cat

Word count: 3,337

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: The lion on Yaku Morisuke's wrist definitely doesn't apply to a certain tall, obnoxious first year. Nope. Not at all. No, Kuroo, he does NOT have a crush!

This one is very sweet and a soulmate AU!

thank god for the day I hear your name

Word count: 2,175

Rating: N/A

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: You’re sure the worst part is that you can feel it as it happens; it starts with fond amusement and escalates to dreams you’d rather not talk about and you’ve stared at the summer night-sky and thought about Lev like you’ve thought about home. You wish the stars would fall right down and shoot you where he’s burrowed his heart against yours and Haiba Lev is a problem.

This one is written in a very very interesting way. Def not for everyone and usually not for me but something about this fic just made me feel things and objectively speaking, it is a well written fanfiction

What Not to Wear

Word count: 4,857

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed: chapters 1/1

Summary: In which Yaku helps Lev dress for success, with no idea of the consequences.

I love this one! They truly are just a cute couple

Flowers and Ink

Word count: 3,903

Rating: N/A

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Yaku went to the flower shop next door to get inspiration for a commission, not to get a huge crush on the awful florist that worked there.

Very nice Tattoo/flower shop AU

Light On the Water <3<3<3<3

Word count: 1,532

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed; chapters 1/-

Summary: Nekoma at the lake, in the swing of summer. All things surface from here.

Probably the most romantic and beautifully written fanfictions I have ever written. I have never been more in love with a fic please just read it even if you don’t like this pairing. Nostalgic feeling Drabble piece

i put sugar on everything

Word count: 7,300

Rating: Mature

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Yaku won’t admit it, but he lives for the smell of coffee.

I meannnnn

Yaku and The Beanstalk

Word count: 4,155

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Yaku Morisuke is many things: a libero, a caretaker, a good student. He's also about to find Lev Haiba stuck in a vending machine. (In which Yaku accidentally recruits Lev to the volleyball team and can't get rid of him after.)

Probably the most iconic YakuLev fic? It’s the one of the only ones with lots of hits/kudos/bookmarks

Innocent Enthusiasm <3<3

Word count: 17,192

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 3/3

Summary: Yaku was perfectly happy with no-one knowing he was an omega. He was also perfectly happy not ever going through a heat thanks to suppressants. And then the wet dream happened. The wet dream that Lev also had. And so Yaku now has to deal with his confused feelings for his kouhai whilst Lev seems oblivious to how his innocent enthusiasm for everything sends Yaku insane...in a good way. It's amazing what can happen in the span of a few days.

Second fav fic for this pairing :D A/B/O but it’s rlly good

Touch <3

Word count: 10,513

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: After a twisted ankle and an uncomfortable realization, Yaku starts to see a different side of Lev—one he doesn't want to kick at all. (Or, well... not often.)

AWWWH CUTIES

five minutes <3

Word count: 16,341

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Lev thinks he's great at sex. Yaku begs to differ, but isn't unwilling to help him learn.

I love this one! (Non-fetishized) Trans Yaku and just a tone of eating out it’s fun

Those are my YakuLev fics! Next up, UshiTen! They are another one of my favourite rare pairs!

Ushijima Wakatoshi x Tendou Satori

Ushijima’s World Is Around 71.1 kgs

Word count: 1,071

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/-

Summary: The old crew from Shiratorizawa get together for a drinking party and everyone gets to see first hand just how strong Ushijima still is and how much he loves his boyfriend.

Short and sweet!

Queen of His People <3<3<3

Word count: 40,573

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 22/22

Summary: Six years before Kageyama and Hinata found each other, Tendou Satori found his place among his chosen people.

Second favourite UshiTen fic! This has no smit but it’s so worth it because it is completely plot based and the world building is fucking incredible. I mean it when I say this is my favourite author ever

And they are roommates

Word count: 1,793

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: “Wakatoshi, are you ready...to move into the future?!” Tendou yelled, dramatically pointing at him. Ushijima smiled and walked over to Tendou. They had been dating for a few years, and after graduating high school, had decided to move in together. “Of course, Satori.” “Well, then I was thinking-“ “But we aren’t getting this bed.”

This one is a bit of crack bit of seriousness idk guys lol

In the Comfort of Your Bedsheets

Word count: 2,378

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary; There's a bird tattooed across his shoulders, and he knew from the moment he saw Wakatoshi, that they were meant to be.

AWH I love them

i ain’t got anything to be afraid of

Word count: 4,984

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed, chapters 1/1

Summary: 5 times Tendou attempts to scare Ushijima (and fails), and 1 time he doesn’t try (but succeeds).

This one is written well and really sweet!

while i nodded, nearly napping (suddenly there came a tapping) <3

Word count: 10,730

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Of course if there was one thing that could be counted on, it was Ushijima’s blunt, total honesty. “Do you think Tendou is attracted to me?” Reon froze. “T-Tendou?” “Yes.” Tendou was notoriously hard to read, but Reon kind of figured that he wasn’t the type to be anything less than painfully overt with romantic affections. “I... I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I think if Tendou was attracted to you, he would let you know,” Reon said. “I'd guess he just considers you his best friend.” He hoped his answer would satisfy whatever frenzy the guy had worked himself into so Reon could finally take advantage of his last precious hours of sleep. But instead, Ushijima visibly deflated in front of him. “Yes. That’s what I thought too,” he said miserably. Oh, Reon realized. Oh no...

I love this fic! It’s so funny and I love the team dynamics in this it makes me giggle

shuffle

Word count: 13,437

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: “I, uh…” Tendou starts, smile going wobbly with uncertainty, “could you… pretend to date me?” Ushijima shockingly doesn’t fall backwards, nor does he immediately say ‘no’. Instead he continues staring at Tendou, fear now overcome by even more confusion.

This feels like a rom-com

miracle boy wakatoshi <3<3

Word count: 4,933

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: he thinks that he has never before wanted this much to be struck by lightning.

Ushijima character study that’s just so beautifully written and poetic, in a way

The Lifespan of Koala’s

Word count: 2,660

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Recently Satori has been feeling pestered by certain inconvenient emotions regarding their captain, and he’s been brainstorming ways to get rid of them. The easiest thing, he thinks, would be to just date him.

This one’s fun!

in the garden i get lost (that is unless I’m getting found) <3

Word count: 2,889

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Tendou Satori’s cause of death: Ushijima Wakatoshi in the garden with his shirt off.

It really feels like Satori is actually a teenager in this one it’s refreshing

Midnight Snacks <3

Word count: 2,090

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: There's nothing like a late night study session to make you a little peckish.

Lady Tendou is so hot I literally cannot fathom it holy fuck

Five Times Ushijima Wakatoshi Absolutely Lost His Shit <3

Word count: 8,241

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: And then that one time he didn't, when he really should have, because Tendou Satori absolutely was.

This fic is so funny! I just love these two together

Let Him Go <3<3<3

Word count: 27,013

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: The story in which Ushijima joins the Japanese International U-21 team and they have to deal with distance.

My fav fic for this pairing! They are just too cute lol objectively Queen of his People has writing that’s more appealing to me but I’ve read this fic so many times it’s just so amazing

That’s if for UshiTen they’re so sweet and such an underrated couple Ushijima needs more love guys

Takeda Ittetsu x Ukai Keishin

Smoothie-Senpai

Word count: 3,692

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: “Please let me be the only one who gets to smell you.” The omega froze. He was pretty sure Ukai wasn’t using any sort of pheromones on him, but even so his knees were about to give. That was a confession, wasn’t it?

This is an A/B/O fic but I actually really enjoyed this one!

along dream paths

Word count: 3,228

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Ukai makes the mistake of looking in Takeda's notebook after practice one day, expecting volleyball notes; what he finds is a love poem.

Really really sweet!

5th Time’s the Charm <3

Word count: 3,002

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Takeda had never been one to give up on things easily, never one to just give in when he’d had his heart set on something. And his heart was set on Ukai.

A/B/O porn with very little plot

Kuroo Tetsurou x Tsukishima Kei

of broken and beautiful souls

Word count: 2,982

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Like others too, Kenma wished that his soul is beautiful.

This one is quite sad lol and it’s Kenma-centric idk why I added this here tbh

Say You Like Me <3

Word count: 9,057

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed: chapters 3/3

Summary: It's been three months. And Tsukishima Kei is going to see Kuroo Tetsurou.

I think this one is my fav for these two lol

The Bite Mark

Word count: 520

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: “Kuroo,” Kenma blinked at him, faint concern crinkling the corners of his eyes, “What is that?”

This one makes me chuckle lmfao

Only You

Word count: 2,203

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: But Kuroo should’ve known better. Because bonded or not, Tsukki had always been an immensely jealous person. Not that he was the kind to display it openly. But the moment they got behind closed doors, the alpha always let Kuroo know just how upset he was. And Kuroo would be lying if he said he hadn’t been hoping for this exact reaction.

Very rare omega Kuroo A/B/O

Not super huge into these two but I think my recs are pretty good

Kuroo Tetsurou x Sawamura Daichi

Rules are Made to be Broken

Word count: 1,631

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Kuroo has a strict no dating rule when it comes to his co-workers but maybe there's one exception when it comes to that rule.

This one’s fun lol

A Couple of Pervs

Word count: 9,276

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Kuroo and Daichi had only lived together a little while, but already the sexual tension was driving them crazy. All it takes is a combination of thin walls and a gift from Kuroo's grandpa to finally make that tension burst.

The writing is alright but it’s worth the read if ur looking for porn no plot

Print and Press (me between your thighs) <3

Word count: 5,834

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: the time Bokuto is the best/worst wingman ever and Kuroo understands how Blanche Devereaux felt when she wished for death.

One of my favs! Makes me feel things

The faster we’re falling <3

Word count: 3,422

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Sawamura Daichi is really hot. But also so much more. And it’s a huge fucking problem.

Another favourite! Just rlly good

Seen a Million Faces (but i’ve been waiting for you)

Word count: 33,322

Rating: Mature

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: In all his time as a dance instructor, Kuroo has had his fair share of newcomers walk into his classes at Nekoma. But there were dance newbies, and then there was Sawamura Daichi.

Ugh I love this fic

Meet Your Match

Word count: 6,071

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Up until now, he’s managed to keep sex and volleyball separate. He’d learned early on, whether they be teammates or rivals, getting involved in any play outside the court with fellow volleyballers was ill-advised. Ok, there’d been Ushijima in university but who could blame him? And they’d remained friends after. Besides, he didn’t know Sawamura would be one of his players at the time and now that he is that’s that. At least, that's what he's telling himself.

Older DILF Kuroo and younger Daichi I love age gap ones as long as they’re legal

Salt and Lime

Word count: 3,151

Rating: Mature

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Along with Hanamaki's grin, Kuroo knew he made the unwise decision. "Hey, I know the perfect dare for Kuroo and Sawamura." Kuroo gulped and felt his body froze. "Let Kuroo drink body shot off of Sawamura’s." Kuroo felt like he was dying inside. "I'll prepare the shot," Kiyoko chimed in cooly, as she got up to take whatever she needed from the bar. And Kuroo knew that he was, so screwed.

This one’s a good read lol

Lifeguard Dude <3

Word count: 6,945

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: It's spring break. Everything is going great, until Daichi looks up and sees the hottest lifeguard he's ever seen in his life.

Oh my GOD

Sweetheart

Word count: 1,439

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: "Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions"

The sweetest lil A/B/O Drabble

I Wanna be Official

Word count: 4,269

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Tetsurou thought claiming to have a boyfriend would be the easiest way to reject someone's confession. He didn't expect it to backfire though, and ultimately have him falling for his roommate and dear friend Daichi.

Another Drabble that I find fun

go the distance <3

Word count: 5,411

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: daichi has a hard time dealing with the distance between them, and he ends up making the biggest mistake of his life because of it. but he's determined to make up for it, no matter what it takes.

Angst with a happy ending im literally obsessed

we move like the ocean

Word count: 17,722

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Transferring to the University of Tokyo had been in Daichi Sawamura's plans, meeting Kuroo Tetsurou had not.

This fic is literally like 50 shades of grey lol idk how else to describe ht

catch and release <3

Word count: 18,531

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: "Sawamura-kun, don't tell me you're actually a virgin?" Daichi flushes a deep red and Kuroo's grin turns positively wicked.

I really love how this fic captures Daichi’s character!

ride

Word count: 28,065

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: In which there are cars, kissing, and cute dogs.

So cute!

I love these two! Probably even more than DaiSuga lol I’m sorry they’re just not my bread and butter like KuroDai is

Miya Atsumu x Sakusa Kiyoomi

Peace of Routine

Word count: 8,474

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: After Atsumu moved to Tokyo, Sakusa's daily routine never recovered. He no longer worked solo jobs, he doubled his spending on cleaning products, and he rarely slept alone. Sakusa would have hated those things, before he met Atsumu. Now he wouldn't want his routine any other way.

I think this is probably my fav for SakuAtsu

Read the Receipt

Word count: 6,689

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: “I think we’re done here, thank you, Osamu. If we could just have the bill?” As though waiting for those words, Osamu removed a small square of paper from his pocket. And leaned over to slam the paper down on the table in front of Sakusa. “You’re paying tonight.” “What?”, Atsumu squawked, his eyebrows traveling further up his forehead. “Why?” “He knows why.”

Probably the ultimate proposal AU ngl

Call Me Maybe

Word count: 1,799

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: “What caused your nosebleed?” Dr. Sakusa asks, typing something into a computer next to him. “M’ brother smacked me in the face with a Wii controller,” Atsumu tells him. “We were playing Just Dance 4,” he adds. Dr. Sakusa raises an eyebrow. “What song?” He asks, and suddenly Atsumu feels very awkward. “Call Me Maybe,” he mumbles.

This one’s funny!

In Full Bloom <3

Word count: 9,598

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Sakusa has fallen in and out of love more times than he can count on one hand, his heart's restless endeavours forever marked by the flowers that bloomed across his skin. Just as he wrestles his heart under control, Atsumu comes crashing in once more, awakening long-forgotten feelings and painting Sakusa's life in the warmest rays of sunlight. But as fate would have it, Sakusa cannot stop loving Atsumu when he needs to more than ever.

They just can’t stop loving each other

It’s not Complaining, it’s Questioning <3

Word count: 1,669

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: In which Sakusa is annoyed that Atsumu picked Aran as a roommate and Ushijima and Komori have to deal with it.

Jealous Sakusa is so funny he’s such a whiny baby lmfao

Ode to the Night Sky

Word count: 2,403

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: The concept of a muse was so foreign and out of reach for Kiyoomi before he met Atsumu. He drew inspiration from the world around him, but having one thing, one person be the driving force behind his creativity had sounded laughable. It's in nights like these that he wonders how he could have ever been so naive to the strength a muse could have.

Body worship is just so good guys

Shades of Ink

Word count: 12,667

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 3/3

Summary: It’s fortunate that Miya Atsumu is such a good tattoo artist, because that appears to be his only redeeming quality. He’s too loud, too cocky, and so overtly flirtatious that Sakusa almost leaves the shop before he even steps inside. But he’s seen firsthand that Atsumu does good work, so he stays and suffers through it. The longer he's there, the more he thinks maybe Atsumu isn't all bad. When Atsumu asks for a tattoo from Sakusa’s shop in return, Sakusa knows he should turn Atsumu down. He doesn’t. What should have been a routine business transaction turns into something more hands-on than either of them expected.

Love tattoo AUs lol

Goodnight Kiss

Word count: 4,731

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Sakusa’s fingers curled at Atsumu’s jaw, hovering, before falling away. “We can’t be friends with benefits, considering we’re not friends.” Atsumu smiled, because Sakusa’s voice wasn’t completely flat. There was a familiar twist to it, sharp but not wounding. “Wanna be friends, then?” “No.” Atsumu glanced down at Sakusa’s hand. “Wanna be somethin’ else instead?” Sakusa didn’t say yes, but he didn’t say no, either. He glanced away and then back. “I don’t know.”

This is a really good one! Well written and a little angsty

ink blossoms

Word count: 8,168

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Opening a flower shop wasn’t the first idea Atsumu had for his future but in retrospect he wouldn’t trade it for anything. There was a certain joy in arrangements and learning the language of flowers so each bouquet meant something perfect. His little flower shop was a humble but bright place among the cobblestone plaza and people came and went with flowers for their loved ones. The business was good, the customers were kind, and the company he kept was amazing. It was perfect. At least until the tattoo parlor across the plaza finally opened.

Flower shop/tattoo artist AU lol

Notice <3

Word count: 7,034

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Embarrassingly, Miya Atsumu is the third person to notice his crush on Sakusa. And it's his crush in the first place.

This one is really funny and def one of my favs for this rare pair! Just such a good lil Drabble

School Bus Yellow

Word count: 4,904

Rating: General Audiences

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Atsumu has a crush on Sakusa, and it’s kind of ridiculous how much he likes a guy who wears ugly colored jackets and is afraid of germs. Though, Atsumu’s probably not all that great himself. He’s still figuring that part out.

This is the first SakAtsu I’ve ever read and it’s a little angsty with a lot of happy ending lol

Goshiki Tsutomu x Kawanishi Taichi

Knight and Bishop <3<3

Word count: 52,722

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 35/35

Summary: Three years before Tendou Satori comes to Shiratorizawa, Shirabu and Semi learn to live with each other, and to love.

I’m literally obsessed with this author’s royalty AUs omfg this series is literally incredible

Say Yes

Word count: 3,087

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Goshiki and Kawanishi both want to propose to one another and seek advice from Tendou.

If you’re just looking into some new pairings to read and you come across these two, this fic is part one of a series for them :)

Bokuto Koutarou x Kuroo Tetsurou

Victors <3

Word count: 5,255

Rating: Mature

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Kuroo and Bokuto were longtime rivals in the ring, but grew into something else behind the scenes. They've climbed to the top of the MMA hierarchy, and find themselves competing against one another for the championship title. It's a hard fight that leaves them bruised and bloody, but that's nothing new. Neither is the way they take care of each other afterward, in more ways than one.

Love MMA fighter AUs and this one is just wow

amarillion <3

Word count: 12,096

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: the story of how Koutarou falls for his best friend.

I fucking adore this fic. Bokuto and Akaashi’s friendship in this is everything they’re so supportive of each other and I just love the lil character study in this

Behind the Scene

Word count: 21,768

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 5/5

Summary: Kuroo is a typical college student. He goes to class, struggles through homework, and goes to the occasional party with his friends. The only atypical thing about him is his choice of part-time job. Kuroo isn't ashamed of doing cam work. He's certainly making more money than his friends who spend hours at a time working in restaurants or coffee shops. He enjoys the work, he makes his own schedule, and the other cam boys in his network aren't bad to look at, either. He's fond of one in particular, the ever-popular NightOwl. As it turns out, NightOwl is a fan of Kuroo's, too.

YAS camboy AU that has my heart I love

I know they’re best friends but that’s what makes their chemistry so awesome even tho I think irl they wouldn’t make a good couple lol

Daishou Suguru x Kozume Kenma

Reliable

Word count: 1,003

Rating: Mature

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Kuroo makes the mistake of leaving Kenma alone in a club. Frustrated at his best friend, Kenma leaves with a handsome rival who shows him a good night and then takes him home like a gentleman. Kuroo is not pleased.

This pairing is interesting to say the least. I enjoyed this fic tho ngl

Kageyama Tobio x Oikawa Tooru

Not Enough

Word count: 7,640

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 2/2

Summary: Kageyama and Oikawa realized they were soulmates in Junior High. Too bad Oikawa wants nothing to do with Kageyama.

This is the only fic for these two that I have because they are really not my favourite at all

Bokuto Koutarou x Kozume Kenma

I’m Which Bokuto Is Sorely Mistaken

Word count: 566

Rating: Teen +

Status: Completed; chapters 2/2

Summary: Sure, Bokuto knew how good Kenma was at video games. Of course he did, he was best friends with his best friend, he’d heard all the stories of Kenma destroying Kuroo five times a day when they were growing up. But, let’s be honest, that didn’t mean much, considering Bokuto also destroyed Kuroo every time they tried to have a “friendly contest”.

This one is just so weirdly good I never would have considered Bokuto and Kenma being together omfg

Oikawa Tooru x Ushijima Wakatoshi

Old Grudges <3

Word count: 6,475

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Oikawa never liked Ushijima. At least, until he accidentally started sleeping with him. Oikawa convinces himself that the sex isn't a problem. It's just a night here and there with no strings attached. They don't even have to like each other. But the more time they spend together, the more Oikawa realizes it's impossible to hate someone like Ushijima.

Another pairing I’m not huge on because I don’t think Oikawa is the kind of person to get over grudges but I fucking LOVE how they’re portrayed together in this fic it’s fucking beautiful

Iwaizumi Hajime x Semi Eita

Blacktop Rivalries <3<3

Word count: 31,006

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 6/6

Summary: When Oikawa first put together the motorcycle gang, Iwaizumi thought it was stupid. Now, several years later, the best days of his life are when he's on the road, lost in the rush of the wind and the thrill of the ride. It's by chance that he meets a fellow biker on a solo ride, and the two of them get along a little too well. Everything is great until Iwaizumi discovers Semi Eita is a member of Shiratorizawa, a rival biker gang that he has been conditioned to despise. They agree it's in their best interest to stop seeing each other before anyone discovers the affair. As it turns out, that's easier said than done

Another pairing where I say, how the FUCK did someone come up with this? And yet. AND YET it works. Like so well

Afterparty <3<3

Word count: 4,961

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed; chapters 1/1

Summary: Semi hadn't planned to be here, on his knees in the low light of his apartment, with his mouth full of a stranger's cock. He hadn't planned it, but things had escalated, and it was all Semi's fault. He blamed the show. The atmosphere had been electric, addictive. The crowd was loud, his band's performance had been flawless, and Semi had sang better than he'd ever sang before. It had left him with a particular sort of high. He was flying, and when he left the stage, he'd flown right into Iwaizumi Hajime. "Remember what I said to you at the venue?" asked Semi, his voice low, raspy. "I said I want you to hold me down and fuck me until I beg you to stop."

Seriously just incredible chemistry all around like hello???

Okay okay okay this is the LAST fic on my master list! We are really finished. For now, at least. I’m not a huge fanfiction reader anymore but on the occasions I find a new one I like I will add it here! I really hope that I’ve been able to help at least one person broaden their haikyuu horizons then this will all be worth it :)

[quillyfied]

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 1

OH BOY Y’ALL IT’S HERE

This is the first string of fics I would wholeheartedly recommend from my bookmarks (probably first of three, we’ll see). There are 65 fics sorted into 9 categories: Jaunts Through History/Canon; South Downs; Post-Apocalypse; Bus Ride/Night Before/Heaven and Hell; AU/UA (UA is Universe Alternate, where everything is the same, just...a bit to the left. I feel like that term has more nuance, idk); Soft; Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings; Bonus; H/C /Whump/BAMF. These will be the same categories for every fic rec post in this vein. I try to include warnings for sex and gore, if applicable, but please check the tags of each fic before you read, just in case.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I BROKE A LINK OR MISATTRIBUTED SOMETHING.

I don’t read explicit works and I’m not a big fan of Human!AUs so there’s not any of those, but there’s a bit of just about everything else. Please enjoy! Hope the ReadMore works, sorry for folks on mobile if it doesn’t!

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. Bright With His Splendour – Daegaer (T, specifically book-verse. This is an exquisite look at the developments in Crowley himself, especially as it relates to his war-related traumas in the War in Heaven and later WWI. The Arrangement is Aziraphale’s idea here, which is awesome. Highly emotional and visceral.)

2. Whatever Road We Choose – @ri-writing (T, the one where Aziraphale gets jumped by some demons and Crowley nurses him back to health, and Aziraphale has to confront his worldview when he realizes Heaven never responded to his call for help. Quiet and powerful as Aziraphale starts to realize Crowley isn’t everything he thought he was and maybe Heaven isn’t, either.)

3. Linked – @chekhov (T, the one where Crowley shows up in Bukhara and Aziraphale has to pretend to capture him so his angel intern doesn’t destroy Crowley entirely. Has a lot of fun moments and emotional growth in play. And yearning. Lots and lots of yearning.)

4. The Demon Favourite – @kanna-ophelia (T, the one where Crowley is posing as a nobleman and manages to build himself a little ramshackle family, and Aziraphale takes care of them when Crowley gets himself discorporated. Extremely tender, lots of Crowley cooing over babies.)

5. Akashic Records – @penig (Generally G, one T, the series where Crowley is head-over-heels from the start and broadcasts it loudly, and Aziraphale is in Panic Protective Mode. The series is gorgeous and vibrant, the characterizations are so spot-on and yet fresh, the dialogue is perfect, the character growth is delicious. I can’t gush enough about this one.)

6. But The Old Love Was Not So – BuggreAlleThis (G, the one written in the style of Le Morte d’Arthur about Aziraphale’s final few days in the court of King Arthur. Hilarious with the promise of emotional pain to come in the second half.)

7. flightless bird (dumb, wild, and free) – JennaCupcakes (@veganthranduil) (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale make out for half of history while Aziraphale has an ongoing existential crisis about being a broken angel. Poignant, sensual, culminates in a deliciously fraught confrontation where Aziraphale has to finally sort himself out and Crowley says some hard but true things. I once spent three hours trying to find this fic again without remembering the title so now it’s kinda ingrained.)

8. Nanny Knows Best – @patricianandclerk (M, rest of series is T, the one where Crowley endures some truly horrible experiences while serving as Warlock’s nanny. Adorable relationship between Warlock and Crowley, and it’s only getting better. The dynamic with Aziraphale is nuanced and beautiful. Rating for sexual harassment and groping, and it’s a bit of a difficult read at times during those moments, so be careful.)

9. The Holy Essence of Experience – Dragonsquill (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley have loved each other almost since the beginning, but have been very careful to not put a name to it. The yearning is real and so gorgeous. The scene just before they come up with their plan to avert Armageddon haunts me.)

10. The Arrangement – @writeonclara (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley try to get a handle on this sex thing. Non-explicit, hilarious, and unique! I can only assume the rating will probably be going up, which makes me sad because it’s hard to find nonexplicit fics that still deal with what sex brings to a relationship, but what’s written for now is well worth it.)

11. And After – @randomacts13 (T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale work through their self-worth and have lots of flashbacks. The first one involves Crowley taking care of a seed that keeps dying and leaving another seed behind, which is not at all feeding into his self-hatred; the second has Crowley and Warlock gluing coins to the sidewalk; the third is about Aziraphale on a one-way flight to Complete Mental Breakdown if he doesn’t get some help for his anxiety and repressed emotions soon.)

12. The road to rapture has a lot of pit stops – emmagrant01 (E but only for the sixth chapter, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley have shared five kisses throughout history and one where they meant it. People like me who don’t like explicit material can skip Chapter 6 (or just read until they smooch) and go straight to the epilogue. The rest of it is amazing; every kiss is believable in context and has such good lead-up. Very romantic, very good.)

13. Round and Round the Garden – SanSanFanFan (G, the one where Brother Francis and Nanny Ashtoreth get up to some hanky-panky beneath a willow tree while Warlock sleeps in his pram. Just sweet and silly fluff.)

14. Flecks of Light and Dark – volunteerfd (T, the one where Aziraphale learns to deal with his emotions. Has a really beautiful recurring thing of Crowley and Aziraphale making up stories of who they’d be if they were human, and Aziraphale doing his best to do good and help even when Heaven ties his hands.)

15. Before the Water Rises – VitreousHumor (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale become friends while helping a village make rafts to escape the Flood. Has a lot of really cute moments and some pretty exquisite romantic tension.)

16. Beneath the Stars – @brooklynbabybucky (G, the one where Crowley asks Aziraphale to cut his hair. Just has some really lovely imagery and a sweet bonding moment.)

17. lit in the darkness – @toedenandbackagain (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale share a bed sometimes throughout history. Warnings for some sexual content in chapters 7 and 14, but each chapter has its own warnings in the description. Presents some beautiful bonding moments and the absolute finest pining known to man.)

 SOUTH DOWNS

18. The Play’s the Thing – volunteerfd (G, the one where Aziraphale is cast in the local production of Hamlet and Crowley is trying his best to be supportive of his truly awful actor husband. Hilarious and light and absolutely a classic.)

19. Parsley, Thyme, Sage, Daffodils – @mostweakhamlets (NR, the one where Aziraphale has a cooking YouTube channel and Crowley is camera-shy. Tackles PTSD in a really thoughtful way and is Peak Soft Cottage Husbands aesthetic, it really packs in the most warm fuzzies in a small package.)

20. to carthage then i came – @lvslie (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale move to the South Downs and learn to work through their issues around being together and being their own people after cutting ties with Heaven and Hell. Poetic, poignant, the last chapter is a thing of absolute beauty. Very heavily symbolic, that one.)

21. A Better Place for Us to Be – @befuddledmackem (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale tour a particular cottage. Deeply emotional, the Absolute Best Real Estate Pr0n if you also secretly watch HGTV and weep, has completely ruined any future house-buying opportunity I might have because nothing will be this sweet and perfect.)

22. Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak – trieduntrue (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale move to the South Downs and very carefully orbit into something more like a relationship. Exquisite tension, beautifully-done pining and slow-burn, really fun bits of world building. M is for a sex scene at the very end but it’s easy to skip over, it’s small.)

23. reasons wretched and divine – @stammiviktor (T, the one where Crowley storms out after a fight and finds himself in an actual conversation with God. Highly emotional and a great look into Crowley’s head, both in how he feels about God and how he feels about Aziraphale.)

24. The Sprawl of Life – @dietraumerei (T and G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale settle into village life quite well. Has sex-positive asexual characters, which is fun (brief note about that: it’s not explicit, but the places it happens, there is clear leadup and it can get a bit intense, so take care of yourselves). Has touches of angst that balance beautifully with the fluff, lots of BAMF Aziraphale for the soul.)

25. Seashells and Fingerpainting – Vagabond (@waffleironbiddingwar) (T, and I recommend this one specifically from the series, can be read independently: the one where Gabriel is sent to the South Downs for a time out. This is quite possibly the best Gabriel character study I have ever seen; it’s tender and heartbreaking and somehow you find yourself rooting for Gabriel to figure out why he’s being punished despite yourself. All the warm fuzzies. All of them. Read the whole series, it’s great!)

 POST-APOCALYPSE

26. Laugh When It Sinks In – @tenoko1 (G, the one where Crowley helps Aziraphale build a home in the bookshop flat. Another one that feeds right into my interior decorating itch. So sweet and uplifting, will absolutely make you feel proud of Aziraphale.)

27. Chosen and Unchosen – Bookwormgal (T, the one where the kids have to go save Aziraphale and Crowley from Heaven and Hell. Has some EXCELLENT Warlock characterization and some really good tension between him and Adam, and the angst is properly upsetting. A right good adventure romp that’s really starting to ramp up.)

28. Resonance – Macx (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale become something Else. Good world building, beautiful romance, and Gabriel getting told off. Love how Crowley and Aziraphale growing into their new roles is handled, and how Adam unexpectedly ties in at the end.)

29. Falling Heavenward – @kanna-ophelia (T, the one where Crowley unexpectedly has to win his angel back because of a really twisty deal with Heaven. This one is a pretty wild ride, but I would say the centerpiece is Fallen Gabriel, who becomes Asmodeus. It becomes a battle for Aziraphale’s heart, though Asmodeus isn’t in it for the feels so much as the revenge, obviously. Really interesting premise and something to read if rooting for Crowley is a way you like to spend your time.)

30. A Leisurely Stroll Down – Saturniidae (@Saturniiddae) (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale have to fight for their relationship. Has some sexual content that isn’t explicit, and gore that really sort of is. I have thrown things and cried a little at this one, but that was the price for reading while it was still updating. Absolutely gorgeous in every way. Also has God speaking through a household object and it’s hilarious.)

31. From God’s Perspective – Unfortunately (T, the one where God comes down personally to interfere in Her children’s business. The absolute best portrayal of God in any fic ever, really humanizes her in the best ways. I love how she interacts with her angel and demon children. It’s almost more of a character study of God than anything. And yes, the Sound of Music is sung.)

 BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

32. Worth Knowing – summersage (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley discuss the Fall and manage Miltonian angel sex despite it. Has a take on how the Fall works that I was thinking about but couldn’t find words for until this fic, and it’s absolutely fantastic. The Miltonian angel sex is esoteric and weird and not at all erotic, but it is beautiful. The mortifying ordeal of being KNOWN indeed.)

33. Legendary Lovers; Your Hand in Mine – @tenoko1 (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale regroup in a hotel instead of his flat and have a bit of a knock-down-drag-out. Crowley is angry and scared and so in love he can’t stand it, and Aziraphale is practically going at light speed in confronting and knocking down his own barriers, and it’s highly emotionally charged and wonderful.)

 AU/UA

34. Love of My Life – @ellewrites4 (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get together very early and make it work all throughout history. Gorgeous romance, and the fallout from the Holy Water caper and the bandstand breakup are EXQUISITE. Peak emotional turmoil, sweet boundary negotiation, forgiveness and love and anxiety and fear—just delicious.)

35. True Love and High Adventure – @grifalinas (T, the one that’s a Princess Bride au. Absolutely on-point casting, wonderful writing style, the perfect escape fic for a little while. Incomplete but still worth the read.)

36. Inverse Omens – @amuseoffyre (T, the one where Aziraphale is a demon with a p0_rn shop and Crowley is an angel running a community center from a bombed-out church. Y’all recommended this to me on my demon!Aziraphale rating post, and it’s AMAZING. Perfect characterization and a wonderful retelling. Warning for Chapters 11 and 12, Aziraphale’s Nanny Ashtoreth messes with the Dowling parents in far more direct ways and there’s scenes of Mr. Dowling jerking it, so take care, friendos. Also Aziraphale makes the filthiest double entendres and it’s delightful. Also also Crowley needs all the hugs.)

37. A Blaze of Light – @wingedspirit (T, the one where Crowley is Raphael and he and Aziraphale make a Pact instead of an Arrangement. This one is a wild adventure, friends, and a riveting one. The Pact puts an interesting spin on their developing relationship, and by the time it gets to TV canon, it’s already off the rails in the best ways. Also Crowley has some pretty heavy depression that manifests in his former Archangel-level powers blowing up a bit, which is cool. Should be wrapping up soon and I’m pumped for it!)

38. it’s high time that you love me, cause you do it so well – mygalfriday (T, the one where Crowley can’t physically say the word “love” but can diddly dang well show it if he wants. Already super sweet but the confession scene at the end is just incredible.)

39. Hold the Line – sum_nemo (T, the one that’s a Pacific Rim AU. I adore PacRim, you guys, and this one is just *chef’s kiss*. Puts Crowley as Raleigh (lost his twin sister copilot) and Aziraphale as Mako and includes a pretty painful shared past between them, which is already simmering and delicious. Can’t wait to see where this one goes.)

40. The Truth Remains – @wanderingalicewrites (NR, the one where Crowley was Raphael, had a good relationship with his siblings, was in love with Aziraphale, and knew he was destined to Fall. Aziraphale is still in mourning for Raphael and Crowley is still working out the point of his existence, so there’s some very good pining and existential dread up in the mix. A highly interesting take on the situation and very, very good at punching you in the feels with the flashbacks to Heaven and how different things are now, especially with the other Archangels. LOL it just updated while I was writing this and I am UNDONE, I am in PAIN, the bandstand scene always hurts but NOT LIKE THIS. ALSO MORE ARCHANGEL FEELS, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN)

41. Everything Dark and Unseen – @enjambament (M, the one that’s a Psyche and Eros retelling. After the Fall but before Eden, Heaven and Hell need a truce, so they marry Crowley and Aziraphale to keep the peace in a symbolic sort of binding. A beautiful romance, an excellent action sequence, the cutest OC creatures, the best OC angels, and I wish there was a continuation of how canon progressed with this monumental change in their history bc I am THIRSTY for more. Rated M for a kinda-sorta sexy scene but there’s not really Efforts sooo…it’s more sensual than sexual? I guess? Either way, highly recommended.)

42. The Name of the Star is Wormwood – LusBeatha (T, the one where Crowley was Raphael and the Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil was a fly agaric mushroom. It is exactly as eccentric as it sounds, but presented in such a way that it actually makes sense. It jumps around in time, but the storyline taking place in the present is looking like Armageddon 2.0. Beautifully written, great take on canon.)

43. Sticks and Stones – @justkeeptrekkin (T, the one where Crowley takes on the guise of Casanova while trying to get over Aziraphale and Aziraphale shows up, whoops. GORGEOUS imagery, the most scrumptious pining, and if y’all appreciated the 2005 Pride and Prejudice dance scene, the one in here will about blow that one out of the water, if you can believe it. Knocked the breath right out of me.)

44. Yearning to Hold You Close – @guanin (T, the one where Aziraphale has a relationship with King Richard and asks Crowley to help save him, and there is a big sticky mess of feelings when they realize Richard and Crowley look almost exactly alike. In part inspired by David Tennant playing Richard II. A delicious, delicious emotional quandary where Crowley and Richard both wonder if Aziraphale only loves them because they look like each other, and Aziraphale doesn’t know how to say what he feels. Very sweet, very emotionally fraught.)

 SOFT

45. Just This Once – @julia-writes-fanfic (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale kiss in the 90s and it’s amazing. The drunk 90s kiss is already good, but them revisiting it sober in 2010 makes both even better.)

46. A Sky Full of Stars – @kedreeva (G, the one where Aziraphale takes Crowley someplace where they can see the cosmos. The first GOmens fic I ever bookmarked, so I felt like including it, because it’s unbelievably sweet and has amazing visuals.)

47. The Serpent and the Seagull – @ineffably-good (G and T, the series where Aziraphale misses Crowley so he gets a little pet snake. Frederick the snake is among the best of the GOmens OCs, hilarious and foul-mouthed and once Crowley starts being able to understand him, it only gets better. Frederick likes helping his pets work their problems out so they’ll leave him alone to sleep. It’s extremely cute.)

48. The Discerning Black Swan – @lwtis (T, the one where Crowley is definitely not projecting on a black swan desperately trying to court a white mute swan in St James’ Park. I love how Crowley interfaces with his emotional problems through the swan, and the visual of the two swans is gorgeous.)

49. What A Demon Dreams – @whatawriterwields (G, the one where Crowley has some weird dreams, dude. I love the symbolism and the imagery in this one, it’s really vivid. It’s hard to pull off a concept like this so I respect how the author is able to do it and make it work.)

 TOUCH STARVED/WINGS/BODY WORSHIP

50. Sunlight – crorvid (M, the one where Aziraphale is a touch-starved angel. Doesn’t deserve the M rating, in my opinion, but Aziraphale does feel the touching during their makeouts very intensely and it’s incredibly satisfying.)

51. The Curious Attractiveness of Others – @giddygeek (T, the one where Crowley finally gets to groom Aziraphale’s wings and Aziraphale gets to show Crowley how tender that can be. Another one with some great world building tucked into the corners, and emotionally satisfying grooming.)

52. Broken Wings – werebear (@werebeary) (T and M, the series where wing grooming is incredibly intimate and I got the vapors from the tenderness. Also the first time I saw anything about preen glands. The second one is rated M because the preening gets a bit…intense. Not sexual, exactly, but it’s close. Very passionate.)

53. Birthmark – Linebreaker (G, the one where Crowley has a scar on his lower back and a sad story to go with it. This one needs a bit of a harder rating, imo, and there’s one line that’s a bit Much, but otherwise it’s a sad and beautiful look at a potential reason why Crowley hates the fourteenth century so much. Lots of Crowley body worship packed into few words, very satisfying.)

54. They Are A Pale Picture of You – @ineffablefool (T, the one where they go for a walk during winter and things are just Soft. Ineffablefool has a wealth of body-positive asexual GOmens fics, but I think I like this one best, it’s sweet and adorable and some jerk who insults Aziraphale’s weight rightly gets the worst day of his life. Also Crowley compares Aziraphale in his winter wear to a plump little bird and it’s cute imagery.)

 BONUS

55. Ineffable Bureaucracy Drabbles – Shift7 (T, the series of short fics where Gabriel and Beelzebub are kinda-sorta falling into friendship and being very judicious about it. Lots of paperwork, very orderly.)

56. Ineffable Bureaucracy – @eshnoazot (T and G, a series of longer fics where Gabriel and Beelzebub are navigating a careful arrangement of their own. Still lots of paperwork, of course, but there’s also emotional friction and conflict resolution. Excellent characterizations. Wednesday night Thai and Friendship night is a+++++. Gabriel deffo called a board meeting to talk about his feelings.)

57. A Bentley Sang in Berkeley Square – CastielHamilton (G, the one where the Bentley is sentient and a good, good girl. She is doing her best and I love her. Basically the series from her point of view.)

58. Fairest and Fallen – VitreousHumor (T, the series where Beelzebub and Gabriel encounter each other a few times and Gabriel tries his best to remember their shared pre-Fall history. Poignant, sad, and beautiful.)

59. Observer Effect – SquarePudding (T, the series where the Grigori in charge of recording Aziraphale’s Earthly movements starts to ship him and Crowley and records their romance. The Grigori, Rezathaniel, is a precious baby who needs to develop a better palate outside of “greasy literal garbage” and has 0 chill when it comes to their ship. They’re kind of like a celebrity blogger at this point but watching their character growth in the first story is very sweet.)

60. Soul of Vellum, Heart of Chrome – @29-pieces (G, the one where the Bentley and the Bookshop are sentient and very protective of their owners. This one is going to KILL ME with the plot I wasn’t expecting—Heaven and Hell are hunting Aziraphale and Crowley down again, so the Bentley and the Bookshop do their best to help. They’re doing so good and I’m so proud of them, it’s not their fault things went a bit south. Precious beans. Good, good things.)

61. Real Fire and Brimstone Stuff – @jessikast (G, the one where college-age Warlock helps accidentally summon his Nanny and a lot of things start to make sense. A very sweet story about Warlock getting closure and getting back in touch with Crowley and Aziraphale through the weirdest means possible.)

 H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

62. Broken Hallelujah – @atlantis-is-burning (T, the one where Hastur comes to kill Aziraphale and Crowley and it’s ugly, folks. It is kinda gory and it is injury-ridden and painful, very touch-and-go for a bit. It ends well, though, and Hastur gets his, which is the Best. Tore me up one side and down the other in all the best ways.)

63. Fall Here – @marbledwings (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley are easing into a relationship in fits and starts, and then Crowley gets snatched. This one was AGONIZING to wait for it to update, so be glad it’s complete, because it gets pretty dark for a while. Be warned of torture, though it’s mostly implied and it’s the aftermath that’s dealt with most. It absolutely sticks the landing at the end, and has a great characterization of Michael.)

64. how deep the sand – Handful_of_Silence (G, the series where Aziraphale is trapped in a glass bubble in a wizard’s basement for fifty years and the ensuing aftermath. Feels mostly book-verse, but there are some cues from the show. Intense and realistic and emotional and heavy, drags you through the darkness and you appreciate the light all the more for it. A beautiful story.)

65. you taught me how to love, (it’s me who taught you how to stop) – @clankclunk (G, or the one where Aziraphale comes to find out that you can’t just rush into a relationship after six thousand years of repression. This one is absolutely murdering me. The angst is real. The hurt is real. I’m hoping the fluff and comfort promised in the tags is coming soon because WOW. Has a fantastically haunting view of what happens to angels, who are highly emotive beings, when they fall into depression. And Crowley’s adverse reactions to praise and love are so realistic and painful. Ouch.)

[yoificfinder]

Thank you so much for starting this! I appreciate the effort and time it must take to search through all the amazing yoi fics out there! Do you have any recs for podium family fics? Thanks in advance!

Aww, thank you for the kind ask, dear anon! It wasn’t that hard to answer the fic search/fic rec that’s been requested so far as I can remember them off the top of my head or it was easy enough to find through my bookmarks or ao3 search. I must admit formatting is hard tho, especially on mobile! 

But anyway, I read a lot of yoi fics back in the day lol so I hope I’d be familiar with a lot of fic search/rec requests. And if not, I really hope my lovely followers can help! Dear followers, please don’t hesitate to reply if you know the fic or if you have a recommendation. I’m thinking this can also be a way for writers (especially new ones since I admittedly am not actively reading new fics these past months) to promote their own work if it fits the critieria of the request!

Sorry for hijacking your ask with all of that. Anyway, for some podium family fics (I interpreted that as Yuuri-Victor-Yuri dynamics in canon setting/with skating), let me redirect you to this blog’s first fic rec post, specifically the following fics:

crust and sugar over

on growing

Philia

Songs About Your Boyfriend

Sixty Impossible Things (WIP)

That post has the said fics’ summary, rating, and word count and the fic itself is also linked.

Then, here are some more:

Dad One and Dad Two by katsukiy / @yuriplisetsk [T, 1K]

The reporter doesn’t even congratulate him on the new shiny medal hanging from his neck. It’s only a bronze, but it’s still very rude.

it doesn’t take a scientist by @alykapediaaa [T, 2K]

On Wednesday, Yuri skates right in between Viktor and Mila and says, nonchalant. “When I grow up, I’m going to be Yuuri Katsuki’s second husband.”

Viktor chokes on his own spit.

“What happened to the first one?” Mila asks, amused.

“Nothing you can prove,” Yuri says, glancing meaningfully at a wide-eyed Viktor before skating away to the sound Mila’s laughter.

(Or: In which Yuri Plisetsky has a crush, Mila Babicheva is a terrible listener, Otabek Altin is an equally terrible advice-giver, and the only possible solution to his predicament is to kill Viktor Nikiforov and marry Yuuri Katsuki himself.)

Slushy Love by qwartooty [T, 4K]

“Freestyle doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want, Vitya!” Yakov shouts. “It’s Yuuri’s turn to skate. Alone.”

“But I’m his coach,” Viktor argues.

“And I’m your coach, but you don't see me jumping over the boards and touching you every two seconds. The poor kid can’t concentrate!”

“Woops!” Viktor says, pulling his hands off Yuuri’s hips.

“Woops my ass,” Yurio grumbles, watching Viktor reach out for Yuuri’s stomach the moment Yakov isn’t looking.

(post episode 12 - in which Viktor loves domestic life, Yurio hates slush, and Yuuri accidentally feels up Otabek's leg)

same song, different dance by crossroadswite [T, 87K] *WIP

The line is silent for a moment, as Yuuri stands there, fingers getting progressively colder as he hears Minako breathe in his ear, not really willing to hang up first.

“The Grand Prix is just around the corner,” Minako says, her tone almost wistful.

He breathes out slowly to steady himself. “It is.”

“… Are you going to watch it?”

Yuuri shouldn’t. He knows it’ll feel awful to watch everyone he knows trying their best at something he loves when he can’t anymore. But it’s Phichit’s first year in the Grand Prix, and Victor’s competing, so…

“Of course,” he says, and is proud of how steady his voice comes out. He doesn’t know if it’s a lie or not.

(Or: in which Yuuri's Stammi Vicino skate never gets posted and he retires, Victor keeps himself skating for better or for worse, Yuri struggles with his debut, and missed opportunities have a way of righting themselves.)

something so wholesome about you by @crossroadswrite [G, 3K]

It was supposed to be his year. He was supposed to-

Celestino stops talking and squeezes his shoulder. Yuuri looks up at him, opens his mouth to say something when someone says his name.

He freezes, holds his breath for a full second against the painfully familiar voice, not daring to hope. Then, very slowly, he turns towards the source, eyes going wide with disbelieve.

“Mari?”

(Or: in which Vicchan lives, Yuuri doesn’t quite fail and doesn’t quite get drunk, but manages to accidentally woo Victor Nikiforov anyway.)

Storge by FullmetalChords / @phoenixrei [T, 8K]

“So, what are you working on?” he hears Katsuki ask conversationally, once he’s pulled up a chair to Yuri’s table. “Trig?”

Yuri leans back in his chair, roughly brushing his bangs out of his face.

“Yeah,” he mutters reluctantly, when it becomes apparent he’s going to have to talk to him. Still, he pulls the packet closer, curling around it almost protectively. He doesn’t know how else he’s supposed to tell Katsuki to butt out. A year ago, when he’d first met the guy, a simple glare had been more than enough to send him cowering, but now…? Now, Katsuki is used to him. He doesn’t coo over him like Mila, or mercilessly tease him like Victor; but at some point, Katsuki has grown comfortable around Yuri.

The thought that he can no longer intimidate his biggest competition makes him twitch.

–

Or, five times Yuuri helped Yuri, and one time Yuri returned the favor. (Yuuri+Yuri friendship, background Victuuri)

The podium family by UMsArchive [G, 987 words]

Katsuki, Nikiforov and Plisetsky. They called them ‘the podium family’. It started out as a hilarious joke, but as it went on, many weren’t laughing anymore.

the top of the world by @stammiviktor [T, 5K]

It’s nearing ten p.m. on the third day of the off season when Yuri Plisetsky bursts through the front door and announces, “I’m staying here.”

With his body changing and the Olympic season approaching, Yuri decides he’s had enough.

Enjoy reading!

[kieren-fucking-walker]

Hello! I’m excited to do this as I don’t rec much, reccing things terrifies me because I hate feeling like I’m picking/playing favourites and leaving people out, and I also am just generally bad at picking my favourites of anything because I like too many things too much. I also am very bad at bookmarking, keeping track of fics I read, and generally being able to recall the names of fics to be able to rec them. So, with all that in mind I thought I’d start with something easy, on the understanding that this isn’t by any means an exhaustive list and I’d be more comfortable with this being “ten fics I like” rather than a top ten because there are far far too many fics I love in this fandom to ever do a list of favourites. So, in no particular order: 

Ten fics under ten thousand words (that I love):

Hypocrite by Lynds [@gold-from-straw​] - Rating: G, WC: 1.6k, Pairing: N/A

Summary: How can Todd possibly expect to be forgiven if he still can't forgive everyone who hurt him? Why I love it: This is one of my favourite explorations of a very specific part of Todd’s character, and it’s worth noting that the characteristics are spot on. I come back to this fic over and over again, and while in many ways it’s painful it’s also real and honest and just a beautiful bit of writing concerning Todd and his guilt.

Dork Greatly's Holistic Laundry Service by obscureenthusiast -  Rating: G, WC: 2.8k, Pairing: Brotzly (kind of)

Summary: Dirk very generously offers to help Todd with his household chores... an offer which Todd eventually takes him up on. The laundry gets a little out of hand when Todd remembers a game he and Amanda used to play and Dirk enthusiastically joins.

Why I love it: Cute!! It’s cute silly fun of these two bonding over laundry and sock puppets, gentle ribbing and acting like children. It gets even better when Farah joins in, I’m a sucker for those three being dorks together. 

My Mind Is My Own Worst Enemy; It Keeps Trying To Convince Me That You Are by DontOffendTheBees [@dont-offend-the-bees​​​]  -  Rating: T, WC: 1.6k, Pairing: Brotzly

Summary: His voice is so familiar and yet also just so… wrong. There’s something missing in it. Some vital aspect of Todd that Dirk didn’t even notice until it was gone.

Why I love it: ANGST! This appeals to every single one of my angst tendencies, and as I’m using this rec list to rec things I love I have to give a shoutout to the most wonderfully angsty fic I’ve read. I love this fic. I love the premise, I love the tension, I love the way it’s written, I love how awful the situation is. I love the way this fic is resolved, I love that it’s plausible, realistic in that. It’s incredibly emotional in all the worst ways and that makes it one of my favourite short fics ever.

Cut To The Feeling by zaphodthebb -  Rating: G, WC: 2.1k, Pairing: Brotzly 

Summary: Post Blackwing rescue, Todd is awake and on guard duty. He's had too much coffee. Also, Dirk can't sleep.

Why I love it: I’m such a sucker for post-big-things fic and this one nails the feeling perfectly. You can feel the exhaustion, the way smaller things they didn’t have time to worry about before catching up to them now they can stop for a moment. Both Dirk and Todd feel tired and real and it’s just a lovely read. 

split the secret up by piggy09 [@sharkodactyl] -  Rating: T, WC: 5.1k, Pairing: N/A

Summary: He asks if Dirk can hear it and Dirk just laughs, the sound reassuringly human.Well, not reassuringly. Reassuringly would mean Todd had to be reassured.It’s just – it sounds human. Which is good. Because Dirk is human. Definitely

Why I love it: Why don’t I love it? The idea of the Blackwing subjects being Eldritch in some way is a concept I’ve explored numerous times because it appeals to me so much, and if it appeals to you then you want to read this fic. It’s eerie and unsettling, the ability to hit the tone of not-quite-right is perfect, the pacing is astounding and it’s so hard to write a fic like this and keep the idea together as well as it’s done here. I love experimental styles of writing and when they turn out like this it’s not hard to see why. I love this fic a lot. (I would also recommend reading on desktop not mobile because the formatting of this fic adds so much to it!)

Catharsis by ben8615  -  Rating: T, WC: 1.3k, Pairing: Brotzly

Summary: Dirk is broken as heck, so why not have him cry it out? That's it. That's the whole story. You can all go home now.

Why I love it: The title and summary say it all really! This is such a lovely little fic about Dirk getting some catharsis in a way we all know he desperately needs, and paired with Todd taking care of him so gently? It’s such a perfect, wonderful little fic that just feels quiet and safe and wonderful.

objects in mirror may be closer than they appear by sharlook [@aceabed]  -  Rating: T, WC: 8.8k, Pairing: Brotzly

Summary: You’re alone, with your arms wrapped tight around a pillow at god knows what time in the night, and there are tears running down your face because you can’t seem to stop thinking about it, not even in your dreams. And then clutching your covers you get an idea. (In which Dirk has nightmares about Blackwing, goes to Todd for help, and is really, really, really in love.)

Why I love it: This fic aches in such a beautiful way. It doesn’t shy away from the ramifications of what Dirk went through and how that plays out for him, his fears and paranoias feel real and present in a way I really appreciate. The choice to use second person is a really good one, it’s a tricky pov to pull off but this definitely gets it right and is better for it. The development of Dirk and Todd’s relationship, particularly looking at Todd’s reactions to Dirk’s worries through Dirk’s eyes is just wonderful and it’s well worth a read. 

Those Grey Days by TheRoyalPrussianArmy [@theroyalprussianarmy​]  -  Rating: G, WC: 2.4k, Pairing: Brotzly

Summary: The bad days weren't always days. They could creep up, like some small, silent predator and deliver a swift bite that poisoned its victim's outlook. A blue sky could turn into grey one heartbeat after a laugh. The gentle sound of the wind in the trees would suddenly become overwhelmingly irritating. Even so much as a door closing or footsteps across the floor could lead to a strong desire to cry and scream, to rage and throw things. They would always pass, of course, but in the moment they were devastating.

Why I love it: We all know I love a good Todd characterisation, and I love a good exploration of the shitty realities of bad mental health and letting other people help you with that. I really really love this fic for both of those reasons, it’s unflinching without being gratuitous, and I really love the way it doesn’t promise sudden miraculous recovery at the hands of someone else, but ends on a gentler kind of promise of having people be there for you if you let them be. Also I’m a huge fan of the way this is written, it reads so nicely and it’s more than worth it. 

Light Work by  juniper_and_lamplight  [@juniper-and-lamplight​​​​]  -  Rating: T, WC: 2.8k, Pairing: Farina

Summary: Tina had, with her typical blunt insight, poked at Farah’s motivations for baking the cake herself. “Is it some kind of control-freaky thing? Like you can’t trust anyone else to get it right?” And while Farah couldn’t honestly say no to that question, her real motivation ran deeper.

Why I love it: This fic is wonderful. I always think we need more Farah insights, and this fic does just that in such a beautiful way, catching on her idiosyncrasies and the character building is to die for. It’s such a simple idea and yet the story itself manages to be rich and full, the imagery is simply gorgeous and every little snippet of a look into Farah’s life as it was in the past and is right now just delights me. Honestly this fic will leave you with a sweet, warm feeling all the way down to your toes and dwelling in the comfort of knowing Farah is loved by herself and others in all the ways she deserves.

or make a home by reptilianraven [@actualbird​​]  -  Rating: T, WC: 6.6k, Pairing: Brotzly

Summary: “Perhaps,” Dirk says in his best ‘yes, I’m bullshitting you, but I’m your boyfriend and you love me still’ voice. “The universe wants it this way.”“The universe wants you to always forget to put the cap back on the toothpaste,” Todd says, unimpressed, screwing the cap on himself.-Or Todd’s adventures in dating Dirk Gently, the mundanities of which unsurprisingly turning out to not be very mundane at all (featuring, among other things: intergalactic wormholes, regular periods of lying down on the floor, and several annoying habits that concern toothpaste and toothbrushes.)

Why I love it: You know those fics you read that make you want to throw your face into a pillow and scream with emotions? Yeah. This fic is so ridiculously good. The beauty of mundane daily rituals that make up part of a relationship! The way those things grow together, evolving into each others spaces and lives, this fic explores that so well. The portrayal of their relationship is so soft and tender, so happy and bright and silly and sad and everything a relationship should be. Honestly I can’t overstate enough how much I love this fic, I can’t go on and on here, but I’m about 99% sure this fic invented love-in-small-spaces kinda way. Also, sidetracking from all my other comments, if you like Mika’s song Tiny Love and the reprise of it then you’ll love this fic because I listened to it and immediately thought of it. Beautiful, emotional, fic. If this fic was a blanket I’d burrito myself in it and never leave. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There we go! I obviously have far more than ten fics that fall into this category and hopefully more of them will be cropping up over the course of this week if I can find the time to make that happen, but as this is something I’m lowkey scared of doing I’m pleased enough to have this much! Thank you so much to @dghdafeedbackfest​ for organising this!

If you read any of these fics and like them please let the author know! Also check out some of their other stuff, because a lot of these authors are writers I love in general! 

[quinnmorgendorffer]

Hi! I love your blog! Do you have any Blunder fic recs?

 Aw, thank you so much! That’s really nice to hear!

And BOY DO I!!!!

But, okay, tbh, I haven’t been the best at reading things besides what my friends have written for, like, months. I’ve mostly been writing (I’m determined to eventually have more AD fics than g/lee ones okay it’s a lot to DO!). And I started reading AD fic like the day s5a aired and I don’t bookmark things and like…I’ve loved every bit of blunder I’ve read, but I can’t just put like every fic I’ve read on here lol soooo some ground rules

This will be divided up between not-smut (might have sex scenes but it’ smore than sex) and smut

I’m mostly rec’ing one fic per writer per section, so please check out their other fics for more glorious works!

I’m only gonna put complete and, of course, blunder fics on here, sorry!! I love a lot of the WIPs out there and the non-Blunder AD ones, but yeah.

but first and foremost

see you on the b side, babe by pega - 10000% my favorite blunder fic. It was the first time in literal YEARS I followed a fic being uploaded and it’s what got me so invested in this fandom and WANT to write for this fandom. Pega is also like my favorite fanfic author ever and she just gets Blunder like no one else can, really nailing the mix of complete idiots who can’t function but who are also good at their own thing. Seriously, while waiting for s5b, I kept saying that, no matter what happens, at least we have see you on the b side, babe. I was prepared to accept this as my canon. A bunch of us were planning to make a podfic of it. It’s the ultimate blunder fanfic.

And okay I know I said one writer per section but I highly recommend her groundhog day inspired fic (and not just because it has piano gob moments but that’s obviously a bonus with me) and her beautiful bipolar!Gob fic, Magic, Not Drugs. She’s one of the best fic writers in any fandom I’ve been in, okay? Like I nearly didn’t write my high school au because SHE wrote one a;slkdfj

General Blunder-ness (AKA the not purely smut ones)

I Want to Break Free by nerdyscully - ice skater!Blunder AU. Super sweet, we stan. Part of the GurlGroup4Evah extended arrested development fanfic universe (GG4EEADFU) 

The Pianist and the Magician by nerdyscully - again I know I said one writer per section but HOW CAN I NOT PUT THIS ONE!!! beautiful birthday gift for me because, as we know, I am a slut for piano gob

Five Times Gob Bluth Almost Came Out, And The One Time He Really Did by Queen_Andr0meda - written pre-s5, a totally amazing and we love oblivious idiots, okay? (GG4EEADFU) 

Magic and Bees by angelica_church_schuyler AKA Lauryn the Magnificent - I love any and all bipolar!Gob fics so seeing this one pop up one day was so great and okay it’s not fully about blunder but like blunder’s there so it deserves to be on here and YOU SHOULD READ IT (GG4EEADFU) 

You Had Me at Challah by thereynoldstwins - I’m so honored that this lovely person actually consulted with me when writing this, especially since they’re such a superior writer in terms of capturing the tone of AD like. I seriously feel like I was reading an actual episode of the show. Anyways, it’s the blunder wedding we all DESERVE

Smitten Magicians by dollsome - the post s5 fic we all know has to be canon. Mitch WISHES he could write this

Four Times Gob Bluth Didn’t Date a Guy and One Time He Did by queenofcrossroads - this has to be one of the first AD fics I read. I stan anything involving Gob having these past affairs that he’s conveniently ignored like the dumbass he is

No Scandals by GoldStarGrl - I seriously love all of her fics but, again, this has to be one of the first AD fics I read. Written post s4 and I just love the ton and everything about it (I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily smut but it’s rated Explicit fyi). also obsessed with her most recent ad fic but it’s more about michael and gob’s relationship post s5 (not incest) so I didn’t list it

A Necessary Condition by nekosmuse - like see you on the b side, babe, this was one of the first stories in FOREVER that I actually followed from beginning to end and anxiously awaited updates on. A post s5a fic 

Brother, Spare the Details by anon - another post s5a fic AND a fix-it fic

Exclusive, Mutually by youjik33 - I’m a sucker for wedding fics

Some Nights I’m Scared You’ll Forget Me Again - have I mentioned I’m a slut for bipolar!Gob? I love this whole series

One of Their Better Parties by Doyle - I have a very clear memory of reading this for the first time over a year ago and just loving every second of it. I love fics where the family gets to find out about blunder, it’s my crack

Kittenface by cmere - I have proudly carried on what I consider is the tradition of Gob being a cat dad, which was very much inspired by fics like this

and in this moment, I was pretty pleased with the person I was pretending to be by stefonzolesky - I’m a sucker for high school/teen AUs and also people so much younger than me need to stop writing so well what the actual fUCK finding out the author’s age was a TRIP and a hALF

I could really go on and on but like……c’mon. I gotta stop and some point. These are just a handful of my some of the best fics out there

SEX, SEX, SEXY SEX (AKA the smut fics)

An Officer and a Gentleman by cmere - this isn’t just one of the hottest blunder fics but one of the hottest fics I’ve ever read. I literally wanted to have frotting like this in my latest smut fic but scratched the scene because I knew I wouldn’t be able to compare or I’d just end up copying it by mistake a;lskdfj. Literally every cmere smut fic is so good like. god……

Little Less Bark, Little More Bite by GoldStarGrl - phone sex. good sex. just…good sex.

Dance For You by nerdyscully - someday she will accept that this is a great smut fic mmmkay

God okay I know there is more but these were the first to come to mind and I also don’t want to just copy every cmere fic on here lmao. If anyone can remember the one where they fuck in the limo and deny their feelings (as per usual) I am totally blanking on the name but it’s such a good one…..

I’m sorry this isn’t as complete as I would like but these are the first that spring to mind for recs so I’d really check them out!!! But, seriously, the blunder fics that are out there are so good. As are the non-Blunder ones. AD has just attracted so many great writers and I’m so happy to have such great fic to read!

……………………………………..and I’m assuming you know this, but since I have enough of an ego to say it, I’ll rec my own AD fics, particularly Take On Me (high school AU) for the not-smut (my most bookmarked AD fic) and One of Gob’s Better Parties for my smut (my most kudo’ed AD fic)

[fierysafrina]

My Love | Jihyun Kim (Chapter 1)

Fandom: Mystic Messenger Rating: General (will change with the updates) Genre: Romance | Fluff | Drama | Slice of Life | Angst | Hurt/Comfort Additional Tags: Slow Build | Abusive Relationships | Slow Romance | Second POV Summary: You’re at your cousins wedding when a certain photographer seems to be awed by your beauty and can’t help but to ask for your name. If only life prepared you for what was to come your way. Notes: Firstly I want to apologize for taking so long to update. I hit a bit of a wall, since I didn't know how to continue, but getting motivation I end up updating 3 fics in one day ^^' I hope you like this chapter ^^,

Prologue | X | CHAPTER 2

AO3

Sitting by table and sipping white coffee, you had a book on your lap, quietly reading. The noise around you was muffled into the distance while your eyes went over each letter that formed a word and sentences. A small smile spread over your lips every now and then. And at that exact moment when you touched the page, to turn it over, an almost unnoticeable sound was heard not too far from where you were sitting.

Your eyebrows furrowed and you raised your head, looking around until you met with mint coloured eyes. His cheeks were tainted pink and were turning darker as he lowered his camera. A chuckle left your lips. You closed the book and stood up, approaching him slowly.

“You know what they say about photographing people without their permission.” You spoke, voice soft and it sounded almost like a melody to him.

“A beauty, such as you are, must be photographed.” He replied instead and you felt cheeks growing hot as you averted your gaze, bringing book up to your lips, covering your mouth with it. “I apologize if I have startled you. It wasn't my intention.” He smiled softly.

“It's alright.” you shook with head. Your eyes fell on his camera that he held. “May I?” you asked, reaching out a hand.

The man blinked few times surprised, but he gave a short nod and handed you his camera. He quietly observed you, smile coming back on his lips. He could see you knew what you were doing. “Do you like photographs?” he asked.

“I adore them.” Your lips turned up in a wide smile before cheeks turned in deep shade. “Did you really have to take a photo of me?” you pouted and it made him laugh. “I look hideous!” You showed him the camera. There was a photo of you smiling as you held the page between your fingers and it made his chest warm more than he thought it would. You looked back at the camera, your cheeks only growing darker until you stopped at the sunset on top of a hill. “You take beautiful photographs …” You murmured quietly.

“Thank you,” He smiled and just when he wanted to say more, his phone rang. “Ah, excuse me,” he murmured, quietly cursing to be interrupted, and stepped aside, picking up his phone.

Your eyes quietly followed him, but you looked back at his camera, going through other photos that he took. You were smiling when you saw different photos of people either talking with someone or just being busy as they walked down the street. One of them was also a photo of your cousin on her wedding two years ago. Your eyes widened and you looked at the man. You wondered why he seemed so familiar. Now it pulled all pieces together. He was the photographer from your cousin's wedding. Jihyun Kim.

Your heart sped up, beating against your chest like it wanted to jump out. Putting hand over it, you took in a shaky breath, trying to calm down, but unsuccessful. As you kept taking glances of the man, wondering if he remembered you or not.

It wasn’t until your phone started ringing. You looked at Jihyun, who seemed troubled while still talking on the phone. Taking phone out of your pocket, you let out a sigh and declined the call. It was never good when your brother called you.

Walking over to the bartender, you gently put the camera on. “Could you please give this camera back to that man?” you spoke and pointed at Jihyun’s back. “Oh and do you have a paper and pen? I’d like to write a message.” you added with a smile.

“Of course,” The bartender smiled and handed you a small paper and pen. “I hope the paper is big enough.”

“It’s more than enough.” You took it gratefully. Glancing back at the man, you started writing on the paper and once you were done, you handed it back to the bartender. “And please tell him I didn’t want to disturb his call since it seemed important.” you added.

“I will,” He gave a nod and watched you leave the café.

Walking down the street, you adjusted your blouse--tunic--that was reaching your mid-thighs. Once coming to a stop on a bus station you looked around. You furrowed your eyebrows together as you bit your lower lip and took a step back before taking out phone from the pocket. Letting out a silent sigh, you closed your eyes the moment a car came to a stop in front of you. The window rolled down and a young man, in his late twenties looked at you.

Opening your eyes you took a step forward, frown visible on your face. “I thought mom would pick me up.” you spoke confused.

“Change of plans. We’re leaving tonight.” He answered, making your eyes wide. “Jump in, we’re going back home and then to the airport.” he said and looked in the rear-view mirror, seeing a bus approaching.

You quickly sat in and before you could buckle up, drove on the road. “Why did she suddenly change her thoughts? Is dad okay?” You looked at him in worry.

“She didn’t say anything on the phone. All she said was to get on first available plane instead.” He turned right at the crossroads, fastening. Closing your eyes, your thoughts ran back to Jihyun and felt sad for leaving without saying goodbye. It felt like wedding all over again when he left before you even had a chance to get to know him better. “What’s wrong?” His voice made you look at him.

“It’s nothing. I met someone again.” you replied in quiet voice. Radio was turned on and both of you ended in silence, listening to the music. Staring through the window, you let out a sigh, your sadness turning into frustration.

“Who was it?” Your brother's voice made you look at him.

“What?” You asked quietly.

“Who did you meet again?” he asked and took a quick glance at you.

“It was that photographer from cousin's wedding.” You shortly answered.

“Oh?” The way he hummed told you he took an interest in your answer. “Do you want to go back?” Stopping at the red light, he turned his head your way.

Your eyes widened and you gaped at him. “What about mom?” You asked quietly. “She's gonna throw a fit when she sees I'm not with you.”

“Well you're right about that one…” with a hum he nodded. “Want me to drive you back?” he asked and smiled softly.

Averting your gaze to the side, your smile was almost unnoticeable. “I think it’s already too late.” With voice quiet, you closed your eyes and sighed. “I’ll just have to wait for our next meeting. If there will be any.” You added the last sentence quietly and turned, letting your brother know you don’t want to continue the topic anymore.

Suddenly, the drive to your home felt much longer than it was supposed to be.

Riding the train in England you sat by the window. The trees and buildings were passing by making shadows as you read a book. Having earphones in, a soft melody kept you company. A soft smile was present on your lips as you take in sentence after sentence.

It passed two months since you left your hometown and moved to England, where your parents were living. Your father was admitted to hospital just a bit over than three months ago, but sadly passed away one month later. It broke you as the two of you were the closest. Yet that didn’t stop you from pursuing your dreams as a writer. You wrote few children books that ended up quite well-known around the country, and some young adult genre, so it wasn’t a surprise when you received an invitation to South Korea for signing.

Yet not once, in the last two months, you didn’t stop thinking of Jihyun. You wondered if he felt upset you left without a word, less alone if he even remembered you at all. You remembered when he asked you on a coffee, yet it seemed like fate was playing with you both that you seemed to forget about it.

Feeling the train slowly coming to a stop, you put bookmark inside and looked through the window. There it was. London’s airport just down the road. Standing up, you took the small suitcase you had with yourself by your seat, you walked over to doors. Many people stood up, walking to the exit, while some stayed on their seats. The music continued to stream as you made your way out of the train, down the street towards the airport.

You weren’t sure how much time passed, but suddenly you found yourself standing in front of your house in Seoul. It still looked the same; a simple, yet elegant, two-store high house. Going through pockets of your bag, you found keys in a small corner and went to unlock the doors. You were a bit sceptical of being all alone back in South Korea, but then again you enjoyed silence more than loudness.

Stepping onto the hallway, the silence greeted you and a small smile spread over your lips. There was a feeling you missed—a feeling of being home—and you’ve made up your mind. No matter what happens this time, you’re going to stay here. This was the place you belonged to and longed for.

Taking in a deep breath, you took your shoes off and walked down the hallway towards stairs that lead into second floor. Looking into the kitchen and living room on the way, everything still seemed the same. There was some dust here and there, but you knew that having few days off, before your book signing, you’ll clean everything nicely just as it was when you left.

You scrunched your nose, tears welling your eyes before you sneezed. “Ah, stupid dust…” you murmured and shook with head, hating the feeling. You were never fond of dust so you know this is going to be a hassle. But you didn’t really mind, suddenly motivated.

“It’s okay, I can do this.” You told yourself and with a determined expression, walked upstairs into one of the many rooms that was once yours.

Humming to yourself, the day slowly turned into afternoon when you were done with your bedroom. You felt tired from being unable to take a rest from jet lag, but even if you could, you weren’t sure where could you sleep.

Just as you laid down on your bed and looked up into ceiling, you laughed. Turning to the side, you took your stuffed animal, which you always had with you, to your chest and closed your eyes. There was a contented sigh and before you knew it, you were sleeping.

Waking up to phone ringing was never a good thing. With a groan you turned and stretched your arm, only to smack it down on the floor. Blinking your eyes open, you stared up into ceiling, wondering what you have done to deserve this. There was another groan as you turned once more and tried to pick up your phone. What you didn’t think through was that you laid on the edge of your bed and just as you laid a bit too much over, you fell flat face on the floor with a squeal. In a moment, you were wide awake.

“I’m up, damn it!” You cursed and grabbed your phone from the floor, picking up the call. “What?” you snapped rather harshly, not even bothering to see who’s calling.

“Whoa, what happened to you?” Your brother’s voice told you he was caught off guard. “Hope I didn’t wake you up. Or did I?” he sounded teasing.

“I’m not in the mood.” You hissed as you scrambled on your feet, dusting off the sweats you wore. With annoyed sigh, you looked around, frown on your face, for a second wondering where you were.

“I take it you arrived to Korea safely?” He asked.

Rolling with your eyes you responded in rather annoyed voice. “I arrived yesterday. Don’t you have a tracer on my phone or what?” You teased back, a small smile spreading over your lips when you heard your brother sputtering nonsense and lies.

“Don’t be so mean~” He coddled with his words. “You know I care for you.” You knew it was all a façade, which only meant your mother was in vicinity. “But on more serious matter. Do you need any help with the house?” He asked.

“Aw, is my big brother worrying for me? How sweet.” You cooed as you left the bedroom and walked into bathroom, to freshen up. “I already cleaned bedroom and bathroom, since I have free time and no, I don’t need anything. Not at the moment, thank you.” you said and winced at the dark circles under your eyes that could be obvious to anyone that you didn’t have enough sleep. “Since I only a short meeting with the owner of café, where I’m signing, I’m thinking of cleaning kitchen. God I need to check for food, it completely slipped my mind yesterday.”

You heard your brother laugh and mother talking in the background. “Take it easy, okay, [Name]? Mom’s already thinking of coming after you.”

You chuckled and shook with head. “Well tell her that I’m fine and that I’ll survive. No need to rush here, though she can come on vacation.” you said and put phone on speaker as you put it down by the sink to wash your face. “Which reminds me, tell her that vacation is doing nothing than just lazing around.”

“Tell her that yourself. You know she won’t listen to anything.” He responded.

“Well, that’s what mothers do.” You sighed before you let water gather in your hands. “What is she still doing up? It’s like midnight there…” you frowned and splashed water over your face as your brother laughed.

“That’s what you get for not calling.” was his response.

“I forgot,” You sweat dropped and frowned you saw a call in the background. “Sorry, I’m having a call. I’ll call mom later.”

“Gotcha. See you!”

Hanging his call, you quickly picked up the second one. “Hello?” Your voice was a bit quieter than before and slightly unsure, despite Korean number.

A woman was talking as you listened closely. It was an assistant of a director who owns the café and you wiped your face since you didn’t need to talk much while she was explaining of the reason why the meeting has to be delayed from afternoon to late evening and from café a different company. Narrowing your eyebrows, you thought for a moment.

“I can come in the evening,” You spoke slowly and bit your lower lip. “Did you say it’s C&R Company?” you asked. “Oh, C&R International.” You hummed and nodded. “Alright, I think I know where it is. Thank you for calling, Miss—Kang.” you smiled. “I’ll be there a bit after 6 if that’s alright.”

With last greetings, you hanged up and tilted head to the side, leaning on the sink. “C&R International? Where have I heard of this name?”

[abripikuunah]

Tomorrow In The Firework’s Edge (Part 1/?)

Authors: Abripikuuhnah and Matthew’s Poems 

Ratings: R-17 (Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, Future smut, Foul Language, Hints of Abuse.)

Words: 12,095

Notes: I want to give a huge shout out to my big brother, Kuya Mat, for helping me to edit, add scenes, and flesh out chapter even more to write this fic into reality . And to @xkanekitoukax​ , thank you for reading the story and criticizing it to help me improve the chapter and see which scenes I should draw (but not now I’m so sorry ToT) ! This fic won’t exist without out you guys!

My apologize to those people who waited for this fic.  In all honesty, this was supposed to be posted a month ago but due to my computer and environmental problems which I will explain in a later post, this fic was supposed to have a neatly as much a professional illustrations alongside with it,so it have to be postponed. Unfortunately, I hate to say it but I can’t finish these illustrations and currently can’t show them to you right now. I will explain the problem here (x)

But never worries, if I finally finish the scenes, I’ll post them here too, so check out for that!

I’m very sorry though, I don’t want people to keep waiting,and I have to post this so I could move on and proceed to the next chapter. 

If you liked this fic, Please reblog , comment and send me your reactions! It will truly help us motivated and be determined to create more polished chapter’s and fics in the future.

Hope you enjoy!

Ken Kaneki squinted his eyes and realized that it's already morning. He raised his wrist, looking at his watch just to find out that two more hours away until he reaches his destination. He yawns quietly and stretches his arms out a little bit, being mindful to the sleeping person beside him. His eyes peered through the window and looked at the view that has presented before his eyes. Just before the dreamless sleep, was the industrious city of Tokyo, now being replaced by the picturesque sight of the fields.  He could see grains, leaves and flowers that has been wrapped in thick snow of late December . A dark hue of blue with a light tint of red that has painted the colors of the sky helped him to be put into ease. Taking out his favorite book, he took out  his bookmarks and begins to read picking up where he left off. Morning dew has come... Warmth of his jacket. The smooth movements of the bus, soothing his mind in relaxing state, hearing the soft noise of the AC unit keeping down the passengers in a quiet slumber while dawn started to rise. A book in his hand where words convey a tragic story into life. Ah. A breather. Peace... A peace where he's free from all the horrible events is all he ever wanted, and he got it. It something that felt like surreal, like a fantasy, like a star that is a billion miles away from his grasp . Something that he imagined that is very imperceptible to occur in his life. An event he will always exaggerate about. But look at him now, he's sitting in a bus, wordlessly waiting for the vehicle to reach the town of Osaka. However, he noticed something when he can't concentrate on his book, statics darkens in his eyes, his mind into something else palpable . Of course... That thought will always stay as a dream. The word 'Peace' is just an obscenity to this pathetic world of his. In his world, his story flashes before his eyes .A furious mother, an uncompassionate Aunt, his best friend who is now in the hospital bed all because of his uselessness ,powerless , selfishness . A sea of blood and grief that was caused by no one else but himself. Brutal waves full of lugubrious screams forcefully drowning him into the depths of insanity. He was reminded that he will never have peace. His mind starts tormenting him with awful words again and again. He can't escape, he knows that very well. No matter how much he ran, or when his limbs are free from the shackles, his heart and soul wasn't ; Both are glued in guilt and depression. The pace of his breathing becomes quicker and quicker. He forcefully clamped both of his eyelids, trying to get himself together. 'It'll be over soon' a whisper reminded him. It'll be over soon. Soon... His mind repeats over and over again, reminding himself . And that 'Soon' will be tonight, where tonight will be the last night of his life. The last night he will witness this brutal world mocking him, and he'll take a leap to take himself and these demons disappear in the void with him . It'll be all over. How laughable. Pathetic is the best way to describe his whole being, his whole damn life . Just like the weather outside, despite the sunrise warming up the sky , everything in the ground, where dirt and garbages are left, the place where he belong is... So cold and so lonely. Leaning towards the window, Kaneki closes his eyes once more, resting his book atop of his lap and hopes to god he would never wake up and instead be drowned to death right now.

Unfortunately, the smell of coffee beans kicks him out of his stupor.

After he arrived at the bus station, Kaneki heard his stomach grumbling, telling him that it's time for breakfast. He doesn't really have a big appetite ,all he wanted to have was a warm cup of coffee and a light meal. Still, the overnight trip from the bus is enough to make him hungry. So he walks, exercising by strolling a bit in the streets of Osaka.

After a few minutes of walking through closed shops , he stops.

His nose picked up an aromatic smell of coffee . The strong daring scent lures him. His legs follows the fragrance like a compass until he found himself standing right infront of the cafe named 'Antieku'.

His eyes peers through the window finding a large amount of people inside, almost occupying the whole cafe. Well that's no surprise. Today is December 30, probably the last day where stores opens for the year. Most restaurants should be closed now; so having to eat in an aromatic cafe for breakfast doesn't sound inappreciable. Antique cups and platters are exhibited on top of the glass display.  Vintage books are tucked through the shelves where customers are allowed to borrow a book whenever they wished. Waiters and waitresses scrambled all over the place, serving each of their patrons with politeness.

Rudely his stomach grumbles again , insisting himself to just go enter in, which he did.

As he was inside the cafe, a waiter greeted him but was too busy to usher him.  So he looked around and thanked himself mentally for having the advantage of being a lone wolf. Right besides the window, he found a small table that's available for two persons where he can watch the busy roads outside the cafe. The spot is adequately nice , which he really liked.

After settling down and a waitress gave him quickly a menu, he fixed his gaze to the given glass next to him, presenting him a lively world,yet it lets him imagine the city without him. Ruthlessly, his thoughts starts digging deeper and deeper.

He saw children running around, only for Kaneki chuckles at the sight, glad that they're free and joyful unlike his pitiful childhood. Grown up folks are scattered around the town, readying themselves for the whole day, he got a bit envious at that thought, because here he is, sitting like a sore loser he was.

But that doesn't matter...

Kids are going to school, being free spirits like nothing's changed. Adults kept working 24/7, thrusting themselves in the world of society like nothing's changed. People just living, doing their daily life like nothing's changed. It's not like they care anyway. Even if he died, nothing will make a difference to any of these individuals fate.

Taking a deep breath , he shifted his sights at the cafe to revise his gloomy cogitation.

Other than the room being crowded, he understands why this place must be popular. From the smell of grinded coffee arouses him, a warm and welcoming ambiance greets every customers. To each aesthetic this place has picked to displayed more friendly atmosphere to ventilate the mood, to how each waiters and waitresses treated their customers with their warm smiles. Overall, in his account, this cafe is such a great place already . And something else where he can't lay a finger on. But of course, it doesn't matter.

Then the irritatingly loud growl was heard again , reminding him to get some food already . He picked up a menu to select his desired dish. After he ate pancakes for breakfast, Kaneki took out a novel and begins to read the book he's currently reading again, Phantasm of Death.  A story about a delusional protagonist where he is trapped inside of a dangerous island, where beings and creatures existed. A story where it experiments human physiology about their questionable desires , like the protagonist where he desires death yet also fears death. Drawn to the confusion between living and dying. It makes him deeply invested to the story. Just when he opened the book and located the page where he left off, he took out two thick papers he tucked between the pages he have left off. To some people, it looks like it just a piece of bookmarks that will eventually be thrown away.  But for Ken Kaneki, it's a whole other story. Somehow, seeing these ornaments make him feel resentful instead. Growing agitated while these these cruel thoughts worsened , his eyes profusely scanned the paragraphs that's been written in the book, forcefully trying to distract himself once more. The last thing he wanted was having a breakdown inside the cafe. He's almost done with this book anyway. Ten or more so chapters and it will be all complete.If he finishes it, there will be no distractions anymore , making the pain to come back , mocking him with a lot of miserable memories and sullen insinuations again. He knows that he doesn't have the willpower to withstand it. So ending his life once and for all is the solution he has to finish all the pain he's shouldering.   "Sir..." A voice surprises him despite it's gentle tone. "Excuse me, young man ."the voice asked gently again  ,Kaneki noticed a palm being offered in front of him. Still a bit startled, he looked up , learning the owner's voice is an old waiter. The waiter gave him a genuine reassuring smile."Would you like seconds sir?"  he continued, referring to the coffee. Understanding, Kaneki gave a quick nod, "Oh, please." The old man took Ken's cup before he refills it. When his beverage is served , all his coils vanished temporarily as he took the cup to his face and whiff on the aromatic fragrance , letting the steam tickle his skin. Kaneki thinks this is one of the best coffee he has tasted. To him coffee is just coffee and nothing more, but this cafe has given such a special blend to serve. The drink alone helps him put on ease .He doesn't mind spending his savings for the coffee, he would die and his money will just go to waste. So having a quality cup before death isn't a thought that bugged him at all. After a few more refills, the old man gave out a pleasant chuckled "You sure seem to like our coffee.You're new here sir?" "Oh yes, I just came here to visit" he simply answered, "and the coffee here is the best. I really loved it." he says, impetuously draws out a grin , rewarded with another kind smile "Well that's nice to hear. We're glad you enjoyed it." He places the cup back to the platter and goes to assist other customers. Several minutes has passed , Kaneki was about to reach the conclusion of the novel. He decided to stop there and saved it for later. His eyes cast at the wall clock and saw that it's almost noon. He requested for his bill and was bewildered that he only has to pay for the pancakes he ordered. He took his belongings and went up to the cashier ,telling them about the missing item in his receipt. "You don't have to worry about that young man." A familiar voice called. It was the same old waiter who have served him coffee,"On the house.". "Um.. Are you sure sir?" He blinks, " I asked for too many refills." He uttered awkwardly . "You really don't have to worry about it." he repeats ,"As the manager of the cafe, it's my pleasure to greet newcomers with our proud home blend coffee for free." He insisted. Well it will be rude the more he resisted. Nodding at the kind manager, he pays his food and went at the front door with the old man ushering him. "Please come again soon." The manager bids, opening the door for his patron. Unconsciously, Ken puts his index finger at his chin "I-I will." Then leaves the place. As he went out off the front door, someone noticed his presence , and with wide eyes followed his fading figure through the window. Voice came out as soft like a prayer. She whispered the name of someone she has wanted to see for a long time- "Kaneki...?" --------------------------------------------------------- First he went to a bathhouse to clean himself up. When the hot water touches his cold skin, his tense muscles starts to relax a little . He gives himself a moment to deliberate about what he would do next in the journey . Of course other than proceeding with his 'dying-in-style' plan here, he also wants to grant a promise that he and his best friend made when they were still little kids. Unintentionally, he recollected a past memory. It was a class trip in Hakodate while he was still in 6th grade. If he remembered correctly, he wasn't supposed to come along but Hide forced him and asked his mother.

"Ow!" The timid boy yelped in pain as he was being tackled by his friend in the sandbox on a breezy Saturday noon. "Ken Kaneki where the hell have you been!" His best friend, Hideyoshi Nagachika or Hide by what you call him, nudged the poor boy in front of him, while Kaneki ,gently rubbed his own stomach to soothe the pain , "I've been worried sick! You're rarely late or absent to class .I even went to your place and nobody is answering and-" he noticed the bandages in his arm. Hide pointed "Dude, just what the heck and where did you get this ?" He looks at him with concern. What happened yesterday? "I-I fell" he answer reassuringly , trying to mask the grief impression he almost attempted to display with his tone. He instinctively hides his arms from Hide's vision, yet failed miserably . He catches Hide's eyes that were observing his bruised limbs are disquieted with doubt.

"That's it?" He says in disbelief . Urgently, Kaneki moved his lips "The bruises are bad, I can't move a leg so... that's why I was taken to a nearby clinic haha." He answers him spontaneously by lying . Always lying , doing the usual routine he's bound to do. Just when can he stop hiding things from him? But just as he frequently used to fib at him, Hide never pushed on the subject, he just analyze his face and the bandages like a tricky quiz and move on, "Okay if that's what you say..." He took a toy shovel and starts digging in the sand, "Let me help you with what your building. " he said before giving a small toothy grin, much to Kaneki's relief. While they've continue establishing the sand castle with their hands , Kaneki decided to ask another topic, "S-so how was class yesterday?" He stutters. His friend blinks, and has stopped moving. The moment Kaneki asked that question seems to have triggered something in Hide's gears,"Dude..." his voice deepens. Kaneki stiffened . Did something bad happen yester- "We're going to have a trip in Hakodate!" Hide squeals , eyes shimmering. 'Oh.' Kaneki thinks, depleting his worries , 'So a school field trip then...' "That's nice..." he simply responded ,shifting Hide's bright expression into puzzled face . His wide eyes gazed at him like he killed his dog or something. Yet Kaneki chose to ignore him and keep doing his work. "'That's nice...'?" "Yeeah?" "Dude are you kidding me?! A trip to Hakodate will be would be super dope as hell! " he grabs Kaneki's shoulder, accidentally stepping on the castle they're currently working on ,making the boy protest about his now ruined creation until Hide decided to disrupt before his friend complain . "We could go up the trees , try out some food, sneak away during lights out, see the view above the mountain- That isn't 'Nice'." Hide scoffed ,then a light bulb appeared in his brain. "Kaneki you have to go this time! You never go to class trips!" He said in a demanding tone. He daydreams as the image of the thrilling adventures they could both do together vast in his mind, kept on shaking his best friend ,who's probably thinking the opposite . These are one of those times where Kaneki didn't really know how him and Hide are able to maintain their friendship despite their opposite demeanor. So he crack a smile with annoyance ,"You could just go without me. I would be okay here ,just gonna finish this book" he says, taking an item out of his bag and raised the literature he currently reads. But Hide still looks at him, discontent, as he roughly puts the book down from his vision then crosses his arms "That's the whole point! You have to take a break from your comfort zone and man up! You're always reading those boring books like an old man. No wonder why you can't pick up the ladies!" Ken pouts .Hide doesn't understand-or atleast, doesn't know. It's not that he could blame him , because he doesn't really need to know. A sharp pain throbs in his stomach that starts aching again. Reminding him about his mother, who left the abrasion in his belly. He squeezed his lids closed , thinks about yesterday's events and the future troubles that were already animating in his mind. The expenses she has to cover for the trip,her worries about what will happen to him if anything bad happens- He wouldn't even receive any concern from a mother, instead he'll receive to much frustration from her and she will beat him up , damaging his body even more. Besides, his mother have enough problems already. He can't be selfish and ask something trivial for his own happiness and let his mother bare the burden for it. But he can't also tell Hide that. Or else greater consequences will occur. He doesn't know what to do, nevertheless he found himself muttered "My mom won't let me." A few seconds slipped with the wind for Hide's eyes to soften "That's why?" He asked softly, Kaneki hesitantly nods in response, getting off guard, letting Hide have the opportunity to grab his sling bag and arm before he started to march off,dragging Kaneki along. "H-hey Hide what are you doing!?" Kaneki exclaimed, wanting to stop his best friend, yet he found his own legs following Hide's trail. "Don't worry about it man, I'll ask for her permission on your behalf. I'm sure she'll agree." Hide says with optimism , giving him a reassuring smile. "And I'm pretty sure you also want to come along don't you?" Of course he wants to, he wants to get away from the grim house , stay away from his mother even for a brief moment . But he can't, he just can't. Just as he said before , asking his mother for her blessing is a big 'No' in a snap of a finger, telling Hide his reasons why he refused only bring more burdensome at him and to her immediately. Trying a weak attempt to stop him, Kaneki quickly lied again "N-no." But it didn't seem to work as his best friend grimace. "Shut up you clearly wanted to." He continues, still walking ,passing house to house until they reached Ken's flat. "Just let me handle this. You'll come with us!" Defeated, he shuts his mouth and stared at his feet while Hide knocks the door and turns to wink at him. The poor boy looks at him in disbelief. Is Hide really that stubborn and a birdbrain just for the sake for Kaneki to come with him? Nothing better would come out even if his mother agree.This whole deal is impractical, really. The door opens and Ken flinches, making his current dismay fade in the breeze only to be replaced by a bigger one. He noticed a pair of slippers appeared. Swallowing, he mustered up the courage to look up from his mother's face only to find a confuse stare dawned on them. "What are you two boys doing here?" She asked ,shifting her gazes at the both of them. "Ma'am, I'm really sorry if we made an hassle but I want to ask if I could barrow Kaneki for uh... two to three days?" He raised his three fingers. At his surprise, his mother seems amused as she raised an eyebrow and leaned her back at the door frame "Why's that?" "Oh well , the school will have a trip in the Hakodate. I was thinking of bringing him along.Can he go with us? I promise to take full fledged responsibility if anything happens." He proposed, looking expectedly at her with a proud smile. But behind his outburst aura was his terrified friend. However his affright expression shifted. Her lips curved into a sad smile .His mother took a soft glare at him. Both of her eyes shimmered . Surprisingly , instead of flinching like the natural response, her son stared at her, confused. That wasn't a harsh glare that makes him tremble with fear or feel being threatened. Her smile is genuine, he could tell that it's not fake or an act.   It was a expression that's he rarely seen from her. Something that gives him an odd fuzzy feeling ,making him process to convince himself that it wasn't an illusion or a dream. But it's real. Then before he knew it, his mother told them her answer. ... Apparently, thanks to Hide's reckless actions, Kaneki is now walking with a sea of kids to reach the mountaintop. That night when Hide asked for her permission , his mother questioned him if he truly wants to go. He said yes and answered her sincerely and was surprised that she agreed and didn't give him another beating. Guilt was shimmering in her eyes along with her face and her tone. She apologized to him about the way she treated him yesterday .But it didn't matter to him anymore. His mind was clouded with thoughts that he will finally be far away form this house and from her beatings. She just told him not to worry about it and she'll find a way. She also told him not to misbehave and be careful out there. But even with her consent, he can't help but having mixed feelings about the whole thing. He felt so happy, but it worries him so much that it also scares him. The expenses, her well being, getting away from the future terrible days that's about to come- just everything crashes in his mind. Yet his mother just gave him a genuine smile , softly combing the fringe of his dark hair using her fingers and bid him good night to call it a day. The whole night, a small smile crept his face, overwhelmed as tears drips, staining his sheets until he was able to be tucked in a peaceful slumber underneath the starless night  . ... In Hakodate, one of the most infamous spots here is the view from the mountain, where you can sightsee the city. After a few more efforts, they finally reached the destination they've been waiting for... The summit of the mountain where they could see the whole town. Hide quickly ran to the deck to save himself and Kaneki the best spot even if the cheeky kid got scolded. "Woah." Kaneki said in awe as he saw the picturesque view his eyes delivered upon him. Lights flickering along the city that's covered in early November snow. Colors brightly glistening in the starry sky painted with the hue of oranges and blue. The whole sight catches his words away. While admiring the whole scenery, Kaneki was interrupted when an arm wrapped around his shoulder. "So what do you think?" Hide asked, smiling brightly at his friend . "It's great." He chimed , making Hide beamed ,"Told ya!" "T-thanks alot Hide." Kaneki moved his cold lips as he also cracked a smile, "Aw no problem bro. Told you need it," he ruffled his friend's hair ,"But seriously, your mom is really scary when I talked to her. I was quite a bit anxious for a sec hehe." he scratched his cheek, thinking about the time when he confronted his best friend's mother. "Hide... You really don't need to do that. I could've done it myself." he murmurs as he received a light punch in the shoulder, "You kidding me right? You seem to be much more a scardy cat than I am, and if I do let you do it, you wouldn't say a thing to her like you always do! So I have to take the initiative!" The boy sighs and decided to end this pointless conversation and continue to appreciate the landscape. The more they would talk about it, the more her remembered the worst things his mother committed , "Ah well, it already happened so might as well let go of the past." Kaneki mutters. Thankfully, Hide seems to get the idea and turn to face the bright town. For a few moment, the his friend took a deep breath, creating mist in his mouth and called his best friend, "Hey Kaneki." "Yeah?" "In the future..." His eyes scanned the whole city before he go even further "Do you want to travel all the cool places in Japan together?" He asked, leaning his arms at the fence as he continue to stare at the town. Ken follows, yet also pictures them going place by place, like the characters in fairy tales when they venture the world. Eating all kinds of food ,exploring cool new things. The thought seems like a better idea than staying inside the dark house everyday and everynight. Not to mention that he would love to see more attractions like these, where instead of looking at images behind the screens, his eyes will witness the real thing. Kaneki breaks out a grin "Sure. Traveling Japan as a whole... seems kinda fun!" Hide smiled jovially and pat his friend's shoulder  "Then it's settled! When we're adults ,both you and me will travel the whole country with our girlfriends!" "Okay where did that come from!?" He jumped at his last statement , totally not expecting that. But Hide kept chuckling ,"Duh, it's a joke." Then a smug smirk crept his face "But it's bound to happen , I think. I don't know about you though. You're a bit nerdy for a girl." He continues , teasing the boy beside him, making Kaneki scoff, "Shut up." "Jeez taking a joke seriously Kenny boy?"  he says in amusement as Kaneki laughs sarcastically before giving him a face. "Hey don't give me that look." Hide stops as Kaneki chuckles and decided to turn around and ignore him . He received a light tap on the shoulder ,making Kaneki face up to Hide. He puts his hands on his hips and starts looking around their surroundings  "We better move, I'm sure there's still alot of awesome things going around in this place before we go." Kaneki nods in agreement. As both boys started to wander around, Kaneki looked back at the balcony for one last time and noticed a small figure in the crowd, looking yearningly at the view presented to them. He also found that in their eyes, he can see only sorrow reflected behind those longing gaze. ... Then his eyes darted open, brought back in the present time. 'Then it's settled! When we're adults ,both you and me will travel the whole country!' Hide's voice resonates . Kaneki wants to laugh at that promise. Look at the situation now. It's clearly not happening and it will never will . Just like every other childish promises he tried to keep , they're too delusional and impossible . His promises are somethings that mostly happened in the heat of the moment decisions. Like a child wishing in the star or to a dandelion's dust, hoping it would come true, regardless of being aware it just a lie to make children hold onto something called 'hope'. He will admit that he tried to make them come true and stay on the right rail, following the signs. But no matter how much he tried to remain at same road, his life turns ,forcing him to walk on a much more difficult path . So in the end, even if he say he's doing their promise by going alone for Hide's behalf, that promise have now turned into a huge joke hasn't it? -------------------------------------------------------- Months of preparing, he thought this will be a chore. Fortunately he's wrong. As he starts roaming all over the Osaka, he ate some street food, tried out some native snacks he have never tasted . He visited some nearby tourists spots, where he learned the history of each place, every important names, event that would dissolve likely later from his mind. He looked at different shops, seeing many items, vintage or modern souvenirs that he wouldn't really buy. Wandering around aimlessly, Kaneki wonders to himself why he even bothers to let himself experience all these things other than fulfilling the promise him and Hide did for his behalf, he really isn't sure why? Maybe it's because he wants to at least try out things that might've been considered 'fun' or maybe find anything to distract himself from worrying about later events and from these merciless thoughts of his. Because he will admit that this is quite fun, even though a trace of guilt lingers inside of him or a weight on his body that has taken a toll, leaving a message 'You don't deserve it'. Having a walk in the path covered in snow, mesmerizing each buildings, houses that are different from the ones he sees in Tokyo, it seems to be a good temporary painkiller for the demons in his head. But does it really matter? For him, the answer is 'Nope'. Because despite it all, everything is still going as planned. ... 7:15, his clock reads. Before he goes to his final destination, he looked at the map to visit the place he's quite excited to see. The infamous library of Osaka. It is popular for its massive amount of books they have in store. Ken has searched it up on the internet before he decided Osaka to be the last town he would see in his life. And he did not regret it. After he walk for another several minutes at the main street and entered the library , his own mouth and eyes widens after he passed through the door. Unlike the book stores in Tokyo, the layers and layers of shelves in this place overwhelms him. Ornaments are neatly place to each shelf along with various types of books , with all kinds of titles, written in many genres. Created by different  authors all around the world . It was like the ideal world that stays in an avid readers dreams  was pulled out from their minds to make them feel that comfort will welcome them inside. His fingers lightly skimmed the spine of each book in the shelves , his eyes studies each title of the novels, muttering out the short summaries of each story with his knowledge alone. Strolling a bit more further, he moved to the next floor, where he could find the section of the classic novels, like the works of Natsume Soseki's 'Kokoro' . Osamu Dazai's 'No Longer Human' and also  from his favorite author Sen Takatsuki 'The Black Goats Egg' which he just finished . If he would live and settle down here in Osaka, this would probably be the aisle he would often visit. After appreciating the stacks of novels in the shelves , his eyes caught the same cover as the book he's currently reading, Phantasm of Death . That reminds him. He finds a nearby table as he quickly opened his bag , rummaging his belongings , digging deeper to find the book. But after a few moments, his brows furrowed, face written with confusion. When something in his gut strikes , his breathing became quicker . The more time passed, he started to panic , immediately taking out all the contents and scanned to see if his book is one of them. "Shit, shit, shit..." He kept muttering, like it's the only thing to prevent him from breaking. Where is it? He kept looking and looking, until it really dawned on him that the book isn't really with him. He can't lose that book- inside of it, was the last photo he and Hide, his best friend, took for the last time. While the other is the lucky fortune he received from another  friend he met years ago. They're too important, very important.Like a sacred treasures that helps him cling onto life. Forgotten or not, each of its signs have reminisce a lot of good memories. Memories that make him smile, take out a chuckle from him, even if they could only be counted with his fingers unlike the the unforgettable events the make him regret and ashamed to remember. Yet despite it all, it helps him reminded that good things have happened in this wrenched story of his. And now, he can't find it... Losing them brings guilt in the pit in his stomach. His mind started to get haywire. It will be the death of him. Think Kaneki. Think! Where could've he lost it? Then he remembers. After his mind debates where he could've left the book off, he shoved all his belongings back in his bag then rushes out the building and immediately ran towards the cafe Anteiku. ... When he finally reaches the building , it was too late. The doors are shut , the lights are closed , he can't feel anybody's presence inside. The lively cafe was that was once filled with a silent aura of happiness and serenity, was now dark and empty, like an empty hunting forest ,void of life. He looks through the window to see even a glimmer of his belongings inside, to his dismay he was unable to see any trace of his treasures. But he didn't lose hope, ironically. So he waits. He waits outside pacing back and forth, praying for the lights to open and see someone inside, to beg for a chance to search for his book. He counted for moments. Till moments turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours. But of course, nobody came. He only have 10 minutes until the last bus towards the last place he wants to go leaves. He detaches himself from the glass window and quietly reads the sign on the front door, 'Open on January 5.' January 5, next week... Will he even wait for a week to pass by? Ruin all the plans he have arranged for months just because of a book that is very important to him? Letting such a perfect opportunity to waste? Will he be willing to wait and risk the chance to put his mindset back about looking up to the future with false hope all because the ornaments in his book that holds a lot of strong good memories? "Fuck no." Time passes, they fucking fade. Like a wind carrying the wishes of the deceased that god knows will never be fulfilled ,will slowly be forgotten by the world ... Slowly, the signs that are engraved in each item are becoming numb by every second,  each minute the day has passed . No matter how much they're important, or how much high each of its merit is in his life. The thought of pain and misery keeps overcoming him, replacing the encouraging messages into a recollections of his past mistakes and failures. He remembers now and he hates himself for it, which causes him to be more self-destructive than he is now. Why would you hold onto somethings when your sense goes away? When your memories and beliefs will be swept away from your own body by the rushing waves? "Forget about the conclusion of the story," his heals turn, "Forget about those memories." He mumbles quietly as he rushes to the bus station. 'Forget everything about them...' He has finally decided. --------------------------------------------------------- When his soles touches the cold floor, he could feel his stomach burning. His eyes gazed at the cliff entrance. He shivered from the cold breeze wrapping his body that he can almost feel being suffocated . He huffs as he forced his legs to walk. They're functioning, yet he found them walking in a slow painstakingly pace. He was prepared wasn't he? He kept walking and walking, but his legs annoyingly starts getting heavier each step he takes, like they're made out of candle wax, melting to be glued in the rocky path. Letting the dangerous fire inside of him burn him even more and more. 'You shouldn't be born.' 'Useless shit!' 'It's your fault!' "No one would ever love you!" 'You don't even deserve them!' His teeth clatters. The voices are getting louder the closer he gets. He just wants to bang his head on the floor or whatever solid he could find. Just make them shut the hell up. Because he's aware yet the kept reminding. A little relief came when he saw nobody was on the small empty eerie forest. There's almost no one in the place anyway because why would they? They have families to go home to and have friends to spend time to. And he has none of that. He will die alone. And that thought could only make him swallow. Before heading over , he close his eyes and took a deep breath. He repeatedly did this a couple of time until he make sure he's hushed down. That he'll make it their in one peice. That he won't break. That his dying in style plan would come in play. Then his legs move, leaving a trail of his footprints that will be swept away by the wind. Leaving no trace of their existence. The whole world would only laugh at his actions, finding how silly this whole thing is, learning his whole life is a joke like it always been. The shadow of the trees engulfed him. In the story books,  all the main characters would find a way to get out of the menacing forest and live, but to Ken Kaneki, it's different. He would find the light and die. He ventures down a little bit more until he find himself standing almost at end of the forest. At the edge of the cliff , all he can see is death's door, wide open for him. He can feel it waiting , calling seductively for him to take the last step so he could be consumed in the darkness. He leans at the tree for leverage, sweat beads forming at his temples. It's now or never. Kaneki takes off his backpack and jacket, not knowing a reason why he should when it could benefit him to sink even deeper. But below the gap , he could hear the waves crashing brashly at the rocky ground, he was certain that if he even tries to swim out of survival instincts,the current will pull him back, permanently sealing him to the prison of death. If he jumps and hit his body to the hard cement ,especially his head ,he will surely be unconscious. Or the best scenario , he will suffer from internal hemorrhage, cracking his skull , having an internal bleeding and not recovering from the injury ever again. One jump. Just one jump and everything will be over. He looked at the moon, staring at it like a fool for finding answers why he shouldn't end his life. He planned everything and was prepared for months, but why? Why is he afraid enough that makes his legs numb? Why can't he close his eyes, run and sprint at the gap to finally be gone to this world? Is it by human nature? Giving himself more time to cope and think? Wanting to ... live...? The last suggestion makes him laugh. His life is a nuisance as far he remembers . He wanted to end everything , make his senses numb to not feel pain, to not hear the sadistic voices inside of his head. Especially being an affliction to people's bright lives. Being the reason, the main cause of their pain and suffering. It's not their fault, it his. Slowly but steadily, he marches forward, like a process to mark his death to the reaper. It's scary but it in the end it will give him peace without offending anyone anymore .

At the brink of the end, with the dark and sickened eyes, he can barely see the waves and tried decipher the shape of the stones. In his perspective, it looks like the the entrance of the abyss, where no light existed, only darkness wrapping the poor souls and force them to go and riot to hell. He swallows again, rubbing both of his palms together. No backing down. It's time to end this, end everything.His feet moves slowly, his breathing quickens again , hesitantly stepping at the air and trying force the gravity to pull his body to the gap and fall, but... The incident last year. Ambulance are ringing in his ears. The wrath of the wind hitting smacking his own skin. He sees doctors, people, a bridge, especially someone covered in their own blood. 'Live Kaneki...' are the words he immediately hear . He breaks. He breaks as his butt meet the cold floor instead of the water. He clenched his chest tightly while gasping for air. He can't do it. He can't do it... Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why can't he make himself die right now!? Out of frustration , Kaneki took a rock and throw it at the cliff and yelled, venting his distress at a mere object. After getting a small satisfaction from his actions, he used his hands to cover his ashamed face and muffled the rest of his screams from coming out. He just wants to die. That's it! He wants to punish himself from his crimes and every sin he have committed. He doesn't deserve to live. He needs to die, he wants to die.

Yet even his pathetic self can't do it again... "Someone please..." "Just break me." He prays, hopefully that someone would hear it. That his words will whisper in someone's ear and they will grant his request. "You know I could hear you crying from here." A feminine voice called behind , realizing that he now regretted his own selfish request . He immediately stops wailing and blinks. How come someone found him at this late? Nobody should be outside already at this time around. He was certain he went to an empty place, where no one could hear him, where no one could see him in a forest facing a cliff in a middle of nowhere, where no one could see him jump to his death . Did this person followed him or heard him? He turned around to inspect to see the intruder , and what he found is a woman. From her looks and her posture, he can definitely tell that the girl was between her early twenties . Her blue fluffy hair that past between her shoulders covers one of her indigo blue eyes. The visible orb glows beneath the shadows of the tree; are focusing , mesmerizing his pathetic feature. The pale skin in her face that's glinting under the night sky ,an expression that is pasted with a poker faced look. At first glance she looked a little bit intimidating, yet,it doesn't fazed him. Not at all... Which seems to be off. "Did I interrupt something here or...?" She said with bored eyes as she pointed at her face, "You really just have something here." Indicating his tears. He quickly wiped them away sheepishly and try to make himself look a bit proper. After he fixed himself, a pang of deja vu hits him. He doesn't know how, but for some reason, he remembers a faint memory that disappeared just before he could recall it... ... "Uh..." Is all Kaneki's smart mouth could say. The woman came closer "Mind if sit with you?" She asked yet just sat a besides him, clearly not waiting for his consent at all. Not that he minded. Both are strangers to each other. They don't know each other's name, purposes and goals. 'But are they?' a voice echoes in his mind. "Got a nice view up here..." The girl muttered , looking at the place then at him. He didn't say anything and just look at the rushing water below the gap , what is there to say anyway? She's just a mysterious person who just popped out of nowhere , stopping- no, distracting him from the brink of death. She raised her finger and points, "You got the view of the city to the left, the moon, then a sea... I could stay up here until sunrise."  She exaggerates before she took her backpack and unzips it, rummaging until she took out a napkin along a book. Curiously, he looked at her direction and inspected at the hardbound until his eyes widen when he recognized the familiar front cover of the literature. "You forgot this. " she handed both things at him . " I saw you left this at the cafe earlier ; I was supposed to call you out ,but before I got even the chance too, you're gone already ." Kaneki stared at her with disbelief, thinking everything is surreal . He bit his lip and quickly took his book back from her, shaky hands opened it greeted by pages and finds what he's looking for, the photo and the bookmark, still tucked inside in one piece.   Tears staining his damped face again, then asked the mysterious woman with a crooked voice "W-why did you went to this trouble just to bring it back to me?" The lady just scoffed at him "No thank you? Rude..." she fumed, crossing both of her legs and placed her elbows , making her face rest on her palm. "You seem desperate by getting it back. Can't stick seeing your crybaby face. " she took a quick glance at him and snickered. This woman is obviously teasing him, a stranger. However, Her presences is somewhat... Calming, in an particular way. "I tried to give it back to you but when I went back to the front door, you're just gone in the air again . So I thought of taking the book with me because the shop is closed until next week and I might have a slight chance to walk up to you, which I did. I saw you again in the entrance and followed you, not that I'm a stalker or anything ." Kaneki looked at the woman, then back at his treasures. He noticed a fabric peaked out then lifted it up to reach her vision . "About that, you need something to wipe your face. You look like a human waterfall." He smiled when he heard her insult "Thank you..." Then rubbed his face gently with the given napkin. The woman gave him a smirk. A smile formed on his face and he starts to wonder 'Why does life give me reasons to live when I have finally decided that I want to die?' he wipes his face using the handkerchief, 'Showing me happiness where everything is bright and warm. Whenever I foolishly believed that the bliss will stay, my life finds a way to take them all away again, won't history repeat itself again?' Again, like a caged maze only leading him in the roundabout circles. He looked at the lady, eyes distance to the starry sky. Both pupils are tamed to decipher to point the stars , wondering which constellation they belong. He finds himself almost chuckling at the sight before his eyes 'If I find myself attached to her like my last string of hope, won't fate just take it all away again?' then eyes darkens as he mutters to himself "You're just gonna end up like everyone else." 'And in the end I'll be left alone again and I'll be the one to be blamed.' "Huh?" the woman's train of thought disperse. He quickly tense as he shakes his head.

"N-nothing!" he immediately averted his gaze away then dabs the piece of fabric in his skin, poorly attempting to hide his ashamed face underneath the napkin. "I mean thank you." He affirms , trying to cover up his previous statement. Earning a smirk that was draws on her face. Then without a warning, she stretches out her arms, like a bird whose wings are finally free from the chains, "You know..." she stops as she took a deep breath... "This cliff is the perfect place to die." During these few moments of silence, her words repeatedly echoes in his mind. Kaneki looked at the lady with wide eyes, processing of what she just declared . D-did she know his true intentions? Does she want to end her life as well? 'Just let me die' said a faint familiar voice. "Your shoes are in that tree along with your stuff." She lifted her thumb, directing it at the tree, " Not to mention doing it in the middle of the night? It's almost New year. Bet the people will be happy seeing a floating corpse during the celebration , what a good omen." she commented scathingly. He blinks at her and doesn't respond to her statement. The reverse psychology she stated makes him smile, his brows furrowed, his lips brought out a bitter laugh into life. "Why are you laughing?" she inquires. "It's just that... I look stupid now aren't I?" She bit her lip, suppressing a chuckle until she slowly follows him. "I think... we both are." she bobbed her head , concurring at her own account . And he can't help but to agree with her. Both are laughing at how stupid this entire thing is. How they find it amusing if they could see the world's disappointed face of their actions. When death is supposed to be marked at this time around .Their cynical voices molded , orchestrated a bittersweet song that the world would never heard again. The whole situation is weird and stupid. But even with it's simple stupidity, he would lie if he said it's wasn't nice to have these kind of conversations. When both calmed. The tension arouse into something uncanny . The breeze of reality came back ,letting countless of questions rack his head. Is she trying to stop him? A weak boy who has lost all hope in his miserable life? For what cause? What benefit will she get from him if she tries to save him? She should just leave , forget him and let him die without a single soul knowing. Ah. It hit him. She's just pitying him, that's all. If she realized that she just let a person killed himself, guilt will only come up to her and haunt her in her sleepless nights . He knows how that feels, feeling useless not stopping a person to open the death's door. Just like him and his mother. If he knows better, he would've done everything to stop her. Then maybe, today , maybe, his mother was still alive. And now this lady caught him red handed. She has now fallen into his position. If fate truly exist, then he will be it's bait. That thought makes him shudder. He truly is a piece of shit, garbage. He should've just jumped while he has the chance. That would be better for the both of them. What a fucking waste of space. "Hey if you try to die now, you would miss the opportunity to see the fireworks up here. They rarely ran a display during New year here and the view seems rad." She smiled sadly while looking at the city lights from the corner of the gap," That's where people gather and watch the display . I know it's a bit far but if I were you, I would watch the show from this perspective before..."  The woman bit her lip and paused when he eyes caught the sea. She seem to be careful not to say anything about suicide. But, she quickly wiped the gloomy expression and stared at him with giddiness "So what do you think?" Kaneki sigh. Why does this woman keep on talking to him and inviting him like he's her friend or something. They don't know each other so what's the big deal? This doesn't make sense to him. She should leave now. This girl is too foolish for staying with him. She's just wasting her time to a worthless piece of shit. Somehow , even if he has the power to leave her, to run now and never look back. The girl has something the he can't lay his finger on. She has that familiar aura, her presence seems too nostalgic. That alone suprisingly makes him stay. He thinks as he rubbed both of his fingers and stared at them, thinking of an excuse to back out ,"I appreciate the offer, but, it will be a twenty five minutes drive from here to the city, almost an hour by walking.  Don't you have any friends to hang out with?" The woman placed both of her hands to the rocky floor and leaned back "Well... my friend wants me to find the best view for the fireworks display . I think this is the perfect one and I want to invite you too." She replied nonchalantly. Ken snickers "Okay we just met." The woman licked her lips and sighed deeply. He find it quite amusing that she isn't exhausted and was still trying to convince him, "Well it's you who lead me back to this place. The best way I could thank you is inviting you here." This whole conversation makes no sense... But... Watching the fireworks wouldn't hurt.  It's just another day of living while having a pit of toxicity in his stomach, he still has enough money to spend for the next night. Doing this is just repaying her for going all the way over here just to give him back his important belongings that helps him hold onto dear life . It's not a big request that was impossible to grant. After new year, he could find another place , make sure this woman forgets his existence, then to kill himself. Simple. Thinking about it, he should be asking for her name already, but it's not like they're going to be friends or anything. As much as possible, Kaneki wants to be sure that he's surrounded in the hallow solitude that he's in. It will be more hectic if he asked her name and exchanges his. He finds it strange that she hasn't asked for his name yet, but then again even he forgot to do that as well, maybe because of that strange sense of feeling that they already met that made introductions unnecessary. Giving up, he released a shaky breath,"Do you really think this is the best spot?" He asked her and stared at her eyes. The girl responded with a genuine smile "Trust me." This woman, her attitude, the way she talks, she seems familiar . This is getting bizarre. Have they met before? Have they crossed each other's path and somehow managed to know each other and blurt out each other's name? Well, if they did bumped to each other, or met at one time around, he doesn't want to ask because it pointless. He believes it's better for the both of them because in the end, he'll be lying lifeless soon. Ever since last year's incident, he never wants to be closer to other people anymore. If he talked to her, he might've be distracted from his goal here. She achieved that tonight but this will be the last time. Making himself attach to her is asking for a life sentence. Somehow, no matter how menacing his thoughts get, Kaneki can't help but smile back to her genuinely "Alright." One last time. No more excuses. Someone has to draw a thick line- no, build a barrier between them , then erase himself in the face of the world. And he'll be happy to do the part. "Great!" She offers a grin before she looks at the sea again once more, obviously staying . Kaneki at this point raised a suspicion if she's monitoring on him to see if he would jump at the cliff and betray her request. Kaneki sighs, as much he likes the woman's presence, he also find the situation getting weirder and weirder. "Aren't you going back to your place?" She closed her eyes and shakes her head "Nope. I spend 150 yen for the bus ticket all the way here. At Least let me enjoy what I've paid would ya?" She scolds, telling him to shut up. Which he did. Within those few more minutes that went by , the woman kept staring at the distance of the sea where her eyes could reach, trying to ignoring the guy's stares who's next to her. She rolled her eyes and is the first one to spoke up to break the comfortless silence ,"Weirdo". "Wha-!? " he cry out in surprise, causing her to blurt out a small chuckle. Defending himself, he told her, "It's just...You look (felt) familiar." The woman took glance at him "Yeah?" a small smile crept her face. She tries to move her lips as if she wants to say something but , instead, she stood up, not wanting to continue the discussion even further. "If I went now,will you still stay?" She asked , not leaving her eyes on him as she wipes off her bottom for the remaining dirt to come off. "It's getting late. Really late." She reminded him. Kaneki followed the trail of the moonlight's reflection from the rushing waves and looked up at the moon itself, "You're right ." He simply answered , nodding his head. She reached out a hand, helping him to stand up, then both exchanges small smiles to each other before fixing themselves. 'Hey if you try to die now, you would miss the opportunity to see the fireworks up here' her voice vibrates in his mind over and over again. He clearly remembers the voice she displayed. Not out of pity nor out of resentment the way he thought it would be . For the past 25 horrible years of his life, he was able to trace all of the negativity or ill feelings towards him. However... The way she blurted every word she say to him are out of sincerity and sympathetic , as if she they were friends to another world or from their previous life...he kinda felt a little... tingle in his belly. This woman is too kind that it's scaring him. She's too kind that it might be the death of him instead. After making sure they both left nothing on the crag, they looked at the cliff one last time for tonight and leaves the place wordless. ... When they bought tickets at the receptionist, they both entered the last bus that is stationed outside of the entrance. Both are thankful when they found vacant seats, despite around this time around being rush hour, a two-seaters in the back are waiting for them. Ken clears his throat, "After you." He escorted her with chivalry. "Thanks. " She nodded politely. ... They settled themselves, white silence envelopes them. 'This isn't awkward at all.' He mentally submits to himself sarcastically. Well to be exact, he doesn't know what else he should say . But this isn't what he wanted, right ? He wanted not to be involve in anyone's daily life. That an unknown space would remain between him and society. Between him and her, both of them . There would be a far stretch space we're they couldn't connect . And yet here he is sitting beside a person he hardly knows planning to go and watch a fireworks display. Somehow he isn't sure as an alluring air around her tempts him to break his own rule through his own volition. He can feel his mouth about to set the forbidden words free, enough to make him obligated to cover his own mouth. What is this feeling? Why does it feel like this has happened before? The questions he has in his head, he wants to vomit them. And god it takes a lot of willpower not to let them out. Powerless, the only thing he could do was silently watch her. Her hair faced him; her temples rested on the window as she is drown at her own thoughts as well. His mind wonders what's she's currently thinking. And it surprisingly scares him. "Stop that." She blurted, annoyed, enough to make him flinch and quickly tries to hunt for anything distracting in his backpack. He snatched his phone out as he decided to busy himself by searching up some hotels with reasonable prices since he is going to stay for another night. But from the looks of it, all of them are fully booked tonight. "So, where would you stay? You don't look like you're someone who lived here" She flickered her eyes up him. Kaneki simply answers, scrolling down and trying his best not to meet her eyes. "A hotel. I'm still finding one." He utters. "I can help you with that." She offered. "No, it's alright. I can find one." But after visiting more web pages , scrolling down , and a dying battery later. To his dismay, every hotel, every inn or even the motels are fully booked. "Can't find a room?" she smiles as she raised an eyebrow, looking smugly at him. "Like I told you, there's a fireworks festival tomorrow at New year . Very rare for this to happen in Osaka. So you're not the only one looking for a damn room, well at the very least they know how to book early." 'Well that's because I wasn't even planning on sta-' Silence empowered him instead . However the woman seem to know something, enough to let out a cough, to seek for his attention, "I have a friend who's roommate just moved from another town. Maybe you can stay with him for awhile. It's just that he's an asspull, but I think you can manage with him." "N-no. It's fine, really." He turns the offer down, "You already done enough for me and I don't want to bother your friend. He's probably sleeping since it's late." She chuckles,"At this time around, he's probably with his girlfriend, jerking off or whatever." She twirled her hair as she nonchalantly looked at him , "Besides you got nothing to lose, and not to mention you have no other place to stay." 'She does have a point' he admits to himself. Still, he felt a bit reluctant about the offer. 'What if...' he thought to himself ,'What if I become friends with this person she's talking about? What if I become a nuisance to him as I was to everyone else in my life?' But then again, it will all end tomorrow, why not just endure another night?' 'Excuses.' His eyes widen hearing those words. 'You still want to live and you know it.' 'Still wanna fill this world with your useless presence' 'Nobody loves you, nobody needs you, and nobody ever will.' 'Your heart will remain as it always was...an empty void, a vessel full of

nothingness.'

Those mocking words echo in his mind, as he grits his teeth trying his best not to show his dismay. "So, are you taking it or what?" her words slaps him right back to reality. He finds himself ending up staring at her face, her voice seemed to chant a magic spell to swept away all the menacing voices away. How does she do that? He wants to ask her but he didn't replied as he kept being mesmerized by her nostalgic eyes that seem to hold secrets deeper and darker than the ocean floor that he wants to hunt so badly. "Stop staring and answer the damn question already, are you taking it or not?" She grimaced, completely snapping him out of his daydream. Blinking his eyes before missing a beat, he answers, "Okay, okay fine." He raised his hands in defeat. "I'll take it, where's it even at?" Hearing his response, a small smile of victory slowly etches on her face" Don't worry it's close to our stop, about a 5 min walk from there, probably. " Kaneki sighs, leaning on his back as his eyes closed, smiling at her, "Alright." After this no words were exchanged until they reached their destination. Finally, they went down the vehicle , Kaneki places his hands in his pockets, he exhales deeply, creating an icy mist escaping his mouth, 'Well then, lead the way" tilting his head towards her direction. She nods "Its just down this alley way, come on follow me." Then she starts walking.

Venturing down the quiet eerie streets, all the Christmas decorations are already replaced by the New Year once as he noticed how snowy it was, like some obscure picture covered in a white sea. He felt that this has happened before... 'Isn't it nice to have a snowy late night walks?' A familiar voice giggled inside his head. Both of his feet stopped walking as he stands, finding the woman's figure drifting further and further as she walks. He recalls another fragmented memory. His eyes close and immediately opens, realizing that she has remarked that he has stopped walking and immediately called out to him, "Are you okay?"she asked, her tone was illustrated with concern. "Ah yeah. I'm alright. Just thinking about somethings." He quietly admitted. "Okay..." She sneers, "Then isn't it nice to have snowy late night walks?" He blinks hearing her inquires, just like the childish vioce, yet more hesitant than the latter .

"Y-yeah." He stutters. "That's good. Now let's go, were almost there." She turns her back at him as resumed walking, and all he can do is to follow her while fighting to repress his own clouded thoughts and memories. "Its here." she points after they exited an alleyway . Just at the corner of another street was a modernized house about three stories high covered in snow just like everything else. She leads him as they took the stairs to the third floor. After passing four doors, they stopped. "Here it is." She proudly presented the door with a nametag written 'Nishio' in it. 'Haven't I heard that name before?' He looked at the nametag with a puzzled look. "Doesn't look like they're here..."she peeks through the curtains then scanned the hall everywhere seeing no sign of anyone. She quickly tiptoed as she suddenly reaches the top of the doorframe to seemingly taking for something. "Aha!" she exclaims, "Here it is." she pulls down a key from the side of the frame, "Told him to hide it better, he never learns does he?" she says mockingly. When she opened the door, she took off her shoes and went inside while saying "Come on.", leading him. Entering inside the small apartment, he took a moment to look over the area until he heard her asked, "Are you hungry?" 'No, I'm good." He replies as he follows her in a vacant room. He's started to get worried about the whole thing, "You sure this will be okay?" his voice trails. "In all honesty, we are trespassing his property." He reminds her hoping to get the idea. After walking the whole town for a day and almost doing a suicide at night, he doesn't want to deal with a lot of dilemma right now. "I trespass here a lot because he has the stuff I need. He got used to it" She only replied , placing her bag on the cupboard followed by, "I think." as she opened the cabinet, taking all the sheets out and placing the first mattress ,spreading it out at the floor. "But really, don't worry. I'm sure he won't mind." She retorts before she takes another sheet. "Besides if he does get pissed, just tell him that this bitch told you so." He frowns when he heard her assurance, but instead of protesting , he quickly dropped his bag before helping her with the other sheets. Neither of them speak of the entire process until they've finished, resulting a comfortable futon seemingly ready to be slept onto. She looked at their work,"Well looks like my job here is done."then , tossed a pillow at him" If you're tired now, you can rest. You seem to have had a long day today." She tells him before she stands up, taking her bag with her. When she reaches the living room,she bid her last instruction, "Just remember what I said and you'll be fine, kay?" He leans uncomfortably at the wall,"Yeah" he simply replies, nodding at her command.. "Thank you. " he finally says as he swallows, not knowing what to do anymore during her presence. Yet he dares not to say another word. He only watched her movements while she headed to the door. For some reason, it felt like time became slower as she carefully  fixed her shoes before she approached the door, "Well, I have to go now." She said, taking her leave. But when she reaches the doorknob, she stops , giving him moment as if she's expecting something from him , of course, only silence responded, not helping the somber atmosphere at all. "You sure you're not forgetting something are you?" She asked boldly, not having eye contact with him. "What?" He said, caught off guard with that question ,then tilted his head, completely bewildered . He honestly doesn't know what she's talking about. She opens the door and chortled "You really are an idiot." Then, she turned to lock her eyes with his and said , "It was nice seeing you again Kaneki Ken. I'm Kirishima Touka by the way."

The breeze that carried her words seem to have knocked out his conscious out of his body,  same as the words that have slipped iut of his mouth.

 “T-touka.” he stutters.

He is completely stifled hearing the message, especially the name. Kirishima Touka. Her name. The name that brings the memories back he have yearned for years to life in his mind.The name he haven't heard for a damn decade. The name that his lips haven't chanted for a long period of time. It felt like time has stopped . "Kirishima Touka..." He repeats as he finally tried to savor her name again after all these years. Recalling the way how his tongue twist and his mouth sang that old name he has forgotten. Kirishima Touka. Kirishima Touka... "Touka-" An interruption occurred when they both heard a phone rang. Touka scoffed, annoyed, as she took out her phone and looked at the caller's address, sighing "Give me a moment." She excused herself as she accepted it and quickly tucked the device on top of her ear. "Yeah?... No, no of course not!... Don't worry old man, I'll be home soon. Is Ayato home already?... Okay, give me twenty minutes. Yeah, see ya." Then she dropped the call, giving a deep exhale as her tired eyes met his, "Sorry but I need to go. My family is getting worried and we can continue this tomorrow." Ken hesitates to speak. He can't directly look her in the eyes. Touka Kirishima, a name of a friend not a stranger. But ... that only make things worse. He felt like everything he have planned for months, dying in that cliff or somewhere without anyone's knowledge, were washed away by a wave of resentment. He has a lot of things to ask about her, yet he's also wants to stay away from her. Not after what happened 10 years ago. He doesn't know what to do, what to say. Yet- "Sure..."he manages to curve his lips into a smile, a crooked smile. Touka on the other hand, eyes staring at him with disbelief, her lips pressed together , looking at him as if she can definitely see what's wrong. "Look..."she started, " You're definitely tired, if we kept chatting until dawn we probably won't have the energy to see tomorrow's display.Everything we need to catch up about , we'll just talk about it tomorrow." He only nods as he simply responds "Yeah..." "Okay." ... "Kaneki." She calls out catching his attention again, instinctively making him face her. "Mhm?" "I'll see you later, kay?" She said her final words for the night as she turned her back one last time and left shutting  the door on her way out. BANG! As the door shuts, He suddenly felt alone in the cold lonely room. His back slides down, using the wall as a heft as he processes what just happened. 'I'm Touka Kirishima' He gulps again when he recalls her name that came from her very own lips. 'I'll see you later. Those are her only words for the night that truly left him astray.                                        -END OF CHAPTER ONE-

[mackinmacki]

The Best/Worst Wingman

Rating: K+

Word Count: 3232

Pairings: White Rose, Bumbleby (background)

Summary: The lesson here is to never take advice from Yang. Even if it works.

Notes: So about that secondary account where I’d upload all my non-LL fics? Eh, forget about it. It didn’t really go anywhere, so I figured: forget it. I don’t write a whole lot of non-LL fics anyway, so I’ll just keep posting them here.

Link: (FFN) | (AO3)

"Hey Weiss." Yang was laying on the floor of team RWBY's dorm room, playing around with Zwei. Both Ruby and Blake were out of the room, which left her alone with Weiss. It was the perfect opportunity to relay some important information. "I learned something really important yesterday."

Weiss sighed and lowered the book she was reading, looking down at Yang. "And what might that be?"

"Someone has a big ol' crush on Ruby."

"Huh." Weiss went right back to reading her book, though she felt less comfortable than before. Who had a crush on Ruby? They had some nerve, thinking they were good enough for her. It was probably some idiot like Jaune, or... or Blake. She knew better than to trust a member of the White Fang.

"In fact..." Yang set Zwei down and moved over towards Weiss, leaning in conspiratorially. "That person is in this group." Weiss started to blush, getting a sinking feeling that she knew exactly what Yang was talking about. Like hell would she admit it, though.

"Well I hope she and Blake are happy, then." Despite knowing that Yang could see the blush burning on her face, she kept reading her book and pretending that the truth wasn't the most obvious thing on the planet. She couldn't even concentrate on her book. "If that's all you have to tell me, then please let me continue reading."

"Oh Weiss, you're adorable when you're lying." She ruffled Weiss's hair, making her recoil in annoyance. "Between you and me, aliens could see your crush from space."

"Wh-What? No way!" Refusing to drop her book in shock, Weiss put her bookmark on the page she was going to leave off on, then closed the book and put it down. At that point, she could stare at Yang with wide eyes. "I don't believe you!" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I thought I was being so discreet..."

"You know I can hear you, right?"

"No you can't." Despite all the evidence mounting against her, she remained defiant to the bitter end. "You have no proof that I feel anything but begrudging admiration towards Ruby."

"Weiss, I know you think nobody notices you staring at her every second of the day, but I notice." Yang rolled her eyes, putting her hands on Weiss's shoulders. "You might as well wear a t-shirt that says 'I love Ruby Rose' on it." She grinned, winking at her friend. "And instead of 'love', it's a heart."

"How... H-How dare..." She was sputtering out her words, her entire face having gone completely red. "D-Don't you... Don't you dare tell anyone! Especially not Ruby!"

"So you're admitting you like Ruby, then?"

"Okay yes, fine, fine! I like Ruby, okay?! Are you happy?!" Weiss grumbled and folded her arms under her chest, not amused in the slightest at having been found out. "If you're going to tease me, then hurry it up so I can get back to reading."

"While that's tempting, I'd rather help you." That more than anything caught Weiss off guard. She even stopped thinking about the near future, when she could be ignoring Yang and getting lost in her the world of her book.

"Wait, you want to... help me?" Weiss looked at Yang curiously, then leaned forward and stared right into her eyes. "You aren't going to try and stop me from liking your sister?"

"Why would I do that?" Yang seemed genuinely confused at Weiss's concern. "You're one of my best friends. You'd be perfect for Ruby!" Weiss started to blush all over again, pulling herself back and looking at the bedspread.

"That... wasn't what I expected. You're not going to give me the whole 'if you harm a hair on my sister's head...' bit?"

"Nah, I don't need to do that." Yang laughed, picking Zwei up and standing. "Ruby would kick your butt if you ever tried anything."

"H-Hey, she would not! I'm perfectly capable of defeating Ruby!"

"Sure sure, whatever you say." It was clear that Yang didn't believe a word she said, though. "Now come on, I need to teach you how to take a girl on a first date."

"Really? How many first dates have you been on, exactly?" Not that Weiss didn't believe Yang would flaunt her 'mature' body around to grab herself a few dates, she just wanted to not be the only one there that was being flustered.

"Oh, enough to be pretty good at them." She turned around and grinned at Weiss, putting her hands on her hips. "Remember when we were doing that training session in that classroom that Ruby said was haunted?"

"Yeah... The one she said had ghosts in it because there were all those... moans..." Weiss covered her face with her hands. "Please don't say what I think you're going to say."

"Blake doesn't just purr when you pet her. There are certain places-"

"I don't want to hear it!"

"Alright, so what magical wisdom are you prepared to bestow upon me?" Weiss rolled her eyes as she sat down across from Yang at the restaurant table. "Is it to do it on the first date?"

"Oh no, not at all. That's on the third date." The two of them ordered drinks, then Yang leaned over on the table and got down to business. "Alright, so first, take her to a nice restaurant. Talk to her about your interests. Open up to her, and let her see that you're more interesting than just an prissy ice queen."

"I'll have you know that I'm plenty interesting! Earlier, before you so rudely interrupted me, I was reading-"

"Bzzzt! Wrong answer, kiddo."

"I'm the same age as you-"

"Books are very boring. So is anything to do with learning. Well, learning things that aren't fighting." At that point, their drinks came, which Yang took with a thanks and a big swig. "So maybe talk about something else, like... ooh, how rich you are. Tell her about how big your house is and how well-known the Schnees are or whatever."

"That just seems really shallow, doesn't it?" Weiss took a sip of her drink, sighing softly. This was not the good advice she was hoping for. Then again, should she have expected decent advice at all? This was Yang she was talking about.

"Well, it's better to talk about that on a first date than your icy personality or your family issues." Weiss looked absolutely affronted. "Aw c'mon, I'm kidding... kind of. I would say be yourself, but you might scare her off."

"S-Screw you!" She huffed angrily, crossing her arms. "I act the same way every day, and I don't see Ruby running away! In fact, she keeps jumping on me and clinging to..." She noticed the curious glint in Yang's eyes. "You stop thinking like that right this second."

"You know what? I like that confidence!" The waiter came over then, interrupting her. She ordered her food, then whispered to Weiss, "Be confident without being cocky. Don't become a stuttering mess like you usually are when it comes to Ruby." The waiter looked down at Weiss, who was trying her best to not become that same, stuttering mess.

"Ignore her," Weiss muttered, ordering her own food. "She talks to herself." Yang just grinned at her, so Weiss took her own advice and ignored her. That eventually failed to work, and the rest of their time at the restaurant was spent discussing further dos and don'ts of first dates. They were mostly silent when their food came out, though, which suited Weiss just fine. She was a touch insulted that Yang thought she didn't know how to romance someone... and she was a bit insulted that some of the ideas she hadn't thought of.

"Alright, now one more important thing about taking someone out on a date. You should pay for their meal."

"What? Why wouldn't we pay for our own meals?"

"It's polite. Besides, you're rich. What does it matter to you?"

"It's the principle of the matter!" Weiss sighed and slumped back in her chair. "Yes, I can pay for two meals. I can pay for the whole dang restaurant! That's not the point, though. Why do I have to pay when Ruby's surely capable of paying for herself?"

"It's just common courtesy, Weiss. Usually the man pays for dinner."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a man."

"Clearly. You don't have the shoulders for it." Before Weiss got riled up again, she pressed on. "Well, with two girls on a date, then I guess the strongest one would have to pay. Hmm... You know, you're probably right. Ruby should pay." It was hard not to start grinning. She knew this would get Weiss worked up, and by the looks of it, it was. "After all, she's definitely stronger than you."

"Are you still bringing this up?" Weiss growled, putting her hands on the table and leaning in closer. "I told you that I could beat Ruby, so that means I'm definitely the stronger one! I should be the one to pay!" Hook, line, and sucker.

"Well, if you're sure about that..." Finishing up her food so that she didn't accidentally start to laugh, she noticed the waiter approaching them again. "So what about me, huh? You think you could beat me in a fight?"

"Hmpf, absolutely!"

"Well, alright then." The waiter came over and placed the check down on the table. "Then I guess you'll be paying for our meal, then."

"Wha... Huh? Hey!"

"You want to see this movie? Really?" Out of all the movies they could see, Weiss had thought Yang would want to see something with a lot of action. Instead, she had chosen what had to be the sappiest romantic movie she'd heard of in recent years. That was so out of left field, it might as well have been on another continent. "I didn't take you to be the romantic type."

"I'm not. No one goes to see a romantic movie on a date because they're into this kinda stuff. Well, except maybe Pyrrha." They were standing near the ticket counter, looking at the various movie times on the light-up board. "You're supposed to go there because it's so boring, that you eventually have no choice but to do other things."

"Like what?"

"Make out. Duh."

"Wh-What?" Weiss felt her face begin to heat up, turning to gape at Yang. "Why would we make out in the theater?!"

"Wow, you really have never been on a date, huh? Do you need me to teach you how to make out?"

"A-Absolutely not! I'll have you know that I'm an excellent kisser."

"Really?" Yang couldn't help but laugh, smirking down at Weiss. "Who have you kissed?"

"... That's irrelevant." She turned pointedly away from Yang and went up towards the ticket booth, only to turn around and realize that she wasn't being followed. "Well? Are we seeing the movie or what?"

"Nah, I don't want to see that stupid movie. Come on, let's go to the arcade." She started to walk towards the arcade, leaving Weiss little choice but to follow her. What was the point of going to the theater if they were just going to play silly games instead?

"So how exactly is you playing a racing game going to teach me about dating?"

"It's going to teach you patience." Yang had headed right for a motorcycle racing game as soon as she traded some money for tokens, putting in enough token to start it up. She then started to race her AI opponents, pushing buttons on the handlebars. "Aww c'mon, I hit that guy! Okay, so maybe this isn't date training."

"I'm shocked."

"But we don't need to go into the theater for you to know what to do. If you're too nervous to make out with her, then take her to a horror movie or something. Ah wait, never mind- Yeah! Take that, skull guy! I forgot, she doesn't really get scared by horror movies. Just let her pick the movie. Then..."

"... Then what?"

"Shh." Yang was concentrating on the game, leaning her fake motorcycle to the side, then the other way. Sighing, Weiss looked at the screen. Yang had gotten into second place, and she was approaching first quickly. Didn't she have a real motorcycle, though? Why would she want to bother with a fake game version when she could just ride the real thing?

"Alright, alright... Yes! First place!" Yang hollered out, slapping the handlebars before raising her arms in triumph. "The winner, and still champion: Yang Xiao Long!"

"While that's great and all, you didn't finish your sentence." Rolling her eyes, Weiss crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. "What exactly am I supposed to do after letting her choose the movie?"

"Oh, right." Since getting first place got her a free game, Yang didn't bother getting off of the bike. "Just hold her hand. Buy some popcorn and when you see her reach for it, 'accidentally' reach for it at the same time. That always works, I'm pretty sure."

"How can it always work if you're only pretty sure about it?"

"Are you really questioning my knowledge?" Yang was only paying half attention again due to starting her next race. "Just trust me, alright. Make sure to get close to her. If you're doing good, you'll definitely succeed in the final step."

"And what's the final step?"

"That'll be taught when I'm finished with my racing." The two went silent after that, with Weiss impatiently watching Yang race and win again, getting yet another free game.

"Are you really going to keep racing?"

"We're still learning patience, Weiss."

"No we're not! I'm just learning how to be mad at you!"

They got home later than expected. It was probably due to Yang getting first place five times in a row. In total boredom, Weiss had wandered around the entire arcade, listlessly moving all the joysticks like she was actually playing them. Maybe she needed advice from someone else. Was this really something that Blake was interested in? She couldn't imagine her being that interested in games either.

"Alright, so your final lesson." Yang walked to the door of the academy, stopping and looking around. "... Huh, this seems weirder without us having driven here. It's not really the same, you know?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Eh, it doesn't matter. Okay, come over here." Sighing, Weiss reluctantly complied, walking over towards Yang. "Now, if you go on a date with Ruby, you'll probably take her back to the dorm room. She's probably going to say that she had a good time before you go inside. At that point you should kiss her. Just lean in and give her a good ol' smooch!"

"Again with the kissing?" She wasn't blushing because it was such a shameless act, though. No, she was blushing because the thought of kissing Ruby felt a little too good. Her lips did seem really soft and kissable. Had Ruby ever kissed someone before?

"Look Weiss, I know you've probably only kissed your teddy bear or something, so I'll show you how it's done." Before Weiss could argue, Yang put a hand on her shoulder and leaned in, their faces way too close to one another. Freaking out, Weiss let out a yelp and shoved a hand in Yang's face.

"Wh-What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Showing you how to seal the deal. You are listening, right?" Yang scoffed, stepping back to get Weiss's hand out of her face. "You go for that kiss after a successful date."

"That's what I'm supposed to do with Ruby! We didn't go on a date!"

"Oh? We had dinner, which you paid for. We went to the movies, and then you took me home, where we nearly kissed right here. That sounds like a date to me."

"No way! I... I mean, we..." Weiss stood stock-still, eyes widening with realization. "We went on a date?! You took my first date!" Upset now, she punched Yang hard in the shoulder. "How dare you!"

"Hey, ow, quit it! I was just kidding, Weiss! It's not an official date, jeez!" She rubbed her shoulder, surprised that such a small girl could pack that much punch. "I'm just showing you how to woo my sister, that's all. No need to go psycho on me."

"Yeah, yeah... I'd tell Blake if you kissed me, anyway." She sighed, then looked back up at Yang. "But hey, uh, thanks... for the advice, that is."

"No problem!" She gave Weiss a thumbs up, grinning. "I'm heading to the cafeteria now. All that fake dating made me hungry."

"Wait a minute!" Weiss stopped her before she could leave. "You gave me all this advice on how to go on a date with Ruby, but you didn't tell me how to actually ask her out on a date."

"Hmm... You're right." Yang leaned against the door, rubbing her chin in thought. "Well, let me think about that, okay? I'll give you some advice tonight."

"Alright, but don't you dare forget."

Later that night, team RWBY were all in their dorm. Ruby and Yang were playing with Zwei, while Blake and Weiss were reading in their respective beds. After some amount of relative quiet, Weiss looked up and caught Yang's stare. Yang gave her a thumbs up, which confused Weiss. She mouthed, 'What?'

'Don't worry.' Yang let Zwei pad over towards Ruby, leaning back on her hands and making sure she could look at everyone in the room. "So Weiss has a crush on Ruby." That got a reaction. Everyone's attention instantly snapped towards Yang, with a wide range of expressions.

"What the hell, Yang?! I told you not to tell her!"

"Huh, really? Well, alright then."

"R-Really?" Ruby's wide eyes stared in disbelief at her sister, then she turned and looked at Weiss, who was burning with a mix of fury and embarrassment. "You like me, Weiss?"

"A-Ah, well, I mean, I..." She made eye contact with Yang again, who gave her a grin and another thumbs up. Yang was going to meet an unfortunate end for this, mark her words. For now, however, she was caught. She was too ensnared to lie at this point. "Uh, yeah fine, I, uh... I do." She whispered this last part, as if it mattered that Blake, who had already heard what Yang said, didn't hear it again.

Ruby gawked at her, then broke out into a huge smile. "Oh wow, Weiss likes me!" She jumped onto her feet and rushed towards the bed, tackling Weiss and giving her a tight hug. "This is great! Does this mean you're gonna ask me out on a date?!"

"I was about to, alright?! Get off me so I can ask you out already!" Watching the two 'lovebirds' interacting, Yang laughed and went over to Blake, grinning up at her.

"So, I think this earns me best wingwoman of the year, don't you think?"

"I'm not sure if Weiss feels the same way you do." Yang looked at Weiss, who was still in the process of being hugged by Ruby. The two of them made eye contact, followed by Weiss running a finger across her throat.

"I'm tellin' ya, Blake. I get no respect around here."

"It's a shame."

[nthletter]

To all my fellow fanwriters:

Friendly reminder the the only duty fanwriters have when they publish their work online is to follow the ToS of the website they are posting on.

In particular when it comes to Ao3, when you use the website and access its content “you understand that using the Archive may expose you to material that is offensive, triggering, erroneous, sexually explicit, indecent, blasphemous, objectionable, grammatically incorrect, or badly spelled.” 

All of that is allowed to exist on the archive. Your readers should know that, and it’s not your responsibility to change your work according to their moral policing. If it’s allowed on Ao3 you have every right to post it. 

In fact, the ToS also state: “Unless it violates some other policy, we will not remove Content for offensiveness, no matter how awful, repugnant, or badly spelled we may personally find that content to be.”

Don’t let anyone stop you from writing what you enjoy. Moderate comments if you get nasty ones and don’t hesitate to issue a complain if someone harasses you, because while your fanwork is allowed on Ao3, harassment is not.

On Ao3, users can’t post:

spam and commercial promotion;

code and files that would threaten the integrity of the website or be  hazardous to users' computers;

content covered by copyright without trasformative use and/or plagiarism;

non-fiction;

Everything else is allowed.

To be more detailed, fanwriters can post their fics on Ao3 even when they contain:

violence;

abuse;

underage sexual content;

non-con/rape, however badly you might think it’s portrayed;  

death and/or suicide;

mental illnesses;

sexual and non-sexual kinks of any kind;

homophobic, racist, sexist, transphobic and/or albeist characters;

“glorification” of any behaviour;

“fetishizing” of anything;

badly written and/or unrealistic situations;

badly written and/or OOC characters;

other morally dubious content of any nature that I forgot listing;

And you don’t even need to tag anything. That’s a courtesy you’re doing to your readers, because according to the Ao3 ToS: 

“Users are responsible for reading and heeding the warnings provided by the creator. Risk-averse users should keep in mind that not all content will carry full warnings. If you want to know more, you may also wish to consult the bookmarks that people other than the creator have used to categorize the fanwork.

Some creators do not want to put specific ratings or warnings on their works. Our policy aims to enable creators to choose appropriate labels or to opt not to use ratings and warnings, with the understanding that some users will avoid unrated or unwarned content.”

“Our goal is to provide the maximum amount of control and flexibility for all users of the Archive, both creators and audiences, so that each user can customize their experience. It's always possible for creators to use "not rated" or "choose not to use Archive warnings," but audiences will always be able to avoid unrated or unwarned fanworks if that's how they want to use the Archive.”

“This system is designed to offer numerous different ways to customize the experience on the Archive, which should in general accommodate users' desires for warnings or to avoid warnings, along with authors' ability to choose the appropriate warning or to choose not to provide warnings. In most cases, users can control their experiences by accessing only fanworks that have ratings and warnings that are acceptable to them, and creators can use their artistic judgment about what ratings and/or warnings, if any, ought to be on a fanwork.”

People who start crusades against your fics are childish and you should ignore them, report them or prevent them from commenting in the first place (by moderating comments or not allowing anonymous comments altogether, or both if necessary). If they harass you on some other SNS, block them. 

I’ll say more: even if your fic went against the ToS of the archive you’re posting on, people harassing you and insulting you in the comments and outside of them would still be in the wrong. If your fic was against the ToS, another user could a) politely warn you explaining clearly what points of the ToS you violated; b) if you refuse to change/take it down because you think it doesn’t violate the ToS, then report your fic to the archive administrators and let them handle it. Not insult you, not bully you, not starting a crusade against you. That’s never right, and that’s always harassment.

Also, I’m going to quote myself and say:

Seeing that actual books and other forms of fiction (the ones they sell in stores) often do not explicitly condemn morally wrong actions, why do people on this website only go after fanworks written/drawn by literal nobodies on the internet and read/looked at by, what, 1k, 2k people? (if it’s a successful and famous fic/art that is) instead of going after books (ie, but also movies, or other) that sold millions of copies? (ie: some of the books I mentioned earlier, but also books like A Song Of Ice And Fire, some of Irvine Welsh and Chuck Palahniuk’s books and a lot more)

Since “fiction influences reality” (I have to see an actual study on that claim yet), where are your petitions and your criticism against actual literature that talks about problematic themes and reaches way more people than fanfiction? Why do you only want to censor fanworks? I don’t see thousand of posts and discussions about what piece of fiction should or should not be sold in stores. (And I’m glad I don’t, because I’m pretty sure George R.R. Martin would not be happy to be called “gross” and “disgusting” and he could even have the financial means to make you stop through legal measures if he wanted to.)

Think about it, fellow fanwriters. Did you really write something so “problematic” that no work of “official” art has never touched that theme before you? And since the answer 99% of the time is no, why are these people coming after you so concerned with your fic and you instead of being concerned with that book/song/movie? Isn’t it because you’re more vulnerable than a famous and possibly dead writer? Isn’t it because they can guilt you into deleting everything and feeling ashamed about producing something they didn’t like, while that’s not achievable with a famous and possibly dead writer?

What you write might be shitty or a masterpiece, but you have the right to publish it on the internet if it doesn’t violate the ToS of the website you chose. Go out and publish all the problematic content you want. And if someone gives you shit for it, please, please, please, do not delete it. As much as some nasty people might hate your work, others like it, others care. I care.

If you feel like you need support or advice about this particular matter, feel free to hmu. I’m here for you.

[little-kitten-aqua]

kunikidazai fic recs??

I’m glad you came to the Real Dazai™ for this~

Okay!!!! So!!!! I’m gonna try to organize these in a hopefully understandable format!! Also, this is long. I run out of wind halfway through with my reviews/raving stuff, sorry.

Also thank you for reminding me that I need to bookmark all of my fave Kunikidazai fics on my ao3. While I’m talking about my ao3 I might as well shamelessly plug my own fics! Give ‘em a read, I think they’re pretty good!

Ongoing-

Sekibetsu (A Farewell with Regret) by StuffnStuff- (Rated: E, Graphic Depictions of Violence) Do you like amazingly good insight into character’s mental states and wonderful characterization? This fic honestly is amazing, I binged like all the chapters in two days or something and the author is so sweet too! As someone who does have triggers, they’re suuuuper nice for giving us readers warnings for each chapter!! Don’t let the long author’s note at the beginning scare you off. A wonderful fic I am happily subscribed to~

Finished-

The Gay Cubby by hybridempress- (Rated: G) Honestly just adorableness in a fic!! It’s a high-school AU and honestly that already has me interested! And then, guess what, they do a wonderful job of describing Kunikida’s anxiety and both he and Dazai sound so cute I wanna hug them!!!

Metal Casing by howlingrabbit- (Not Rated, Major Character Death) I don’t feel like I can say much more about this fic than I have in my comment I left on it but just…. your heart will hurt after this. It’s not a happy fic but it’s wonderfully written.

Heavy by Misila- (Rated: T) More amazing looks into Dazai’s mental state, this one detailing Dazai having a breakdown (nondescript) and Kunikida coming to his aide. Very sweet.

even death may die by necklace- (Rated: T) Like near-death experiences and shitty jokes? This is a great fic, and the hospital scene at the end breaks me. “Kunikida that’s gay.”

Poetic by MikeWritesThings- (Rated: G) Okay, I just want to hug this author because this is so fucking adorable? They write Kunikida really well and he’s just a big lovable dork who won’t admit he writes sappy poetry and that kills my heart please protect this big bean.

Jellyfish by Misila- (Rated: T) This is ADORABLE. A date at the aquarium? Kunikida knowing about Dazai’s struggles and doing his best as his significant other to help him combat those struggles? Hell yes.

Does Dazai Osamu Is Gay? by juniorsleuths- (Rated: T) Oblivious Kunikida strikes again! This is so cute and sweet!! The ending made me “aw” out loud, sweet Kuni-bean!

The End Of The World(?) by hybridempress- (Rated: G) More adorable sick fics!!! This time, Kunikida is the sick one, and it’s adorable just how Dazai does his very best to take care of the Kuni-bean!

Shared Spaces by xVerdelet- (Rated: G) Okay this one is a bit of a cheat since there’s Oda and Chuuya in there, but I can say that it’s an adorable fic no matter! A cuddly Dazai is the best Dazai!

Reflections by Mel_S_Bancroft- (Rated: G) HONESTLY JUST FUCK ME UP WITH PROPOSAL FICS. Beautiful writing, beautiful characterization, I just want to stamp this fic with “beautiful” all over it!

Such a Small Thing by litbynosun- (Rated: T) I swear, this fandom spoils me with good characterization of mental health and the struggles that Dazai and Kunikida both go through, since they both are coded as highly neurodivergent. Also my most-likely-autistic ADHD ass loves how this author hit some of the most challenging things about living with those disorders.

Christmas Cookies by Mel_S_Bancroft- (Rated: G) Nonbinary Kunikida- amazing. Wonderful banter- A+! This fic is just adorable and fluffy and it makes my heart happy!

Slippery Feet by toosadto- (Rated: G) Family fluff with Kunikida being the dad we all know he is just makes me happy, and this fic is so good at exploring parent-child dynamics just aaaaaaa so good!

you know you gotta help me out by like_vines- (Rated: G) Kunikida being a sweet bean and very gay. A+++ good Kuni

enough to get by by Mel_S_Bancroft- (Rated: T) A very realistic look at the mental hardships these two face and how they help each other get through them and just AAAAAA

Winter Gloves by Mel_S_Bancroft- (Rated: G) Cuteness in a bite-sized morsel! Hand-holding and tsundere Kuni-bean!!!! Great!!!!!!

The Train Ride Home by Timber- (Rated: G) Kuni-bean being the sweetie we all know he is, combined with Dazai being a goof and it’s all cuteness all around!

Ever the Same by mr_reblogbutton- (Rated: G) More of that sweet, sweet life-sustaining fluff! Cuddles and cuteness!!!

The Agency’s Artist by Mel_S_Bancroft- (Rated: G) Kunikida as an artist? Sign me up!! Lots of cuteness and sweetness!!

Baby Steps by Misila- (Rated: G) Super sweet about Dazai trying to take care of Kunikida and himself at the same time, very nice characterization!!

next thing we’re touching by MiniNephthys- (Rated: E) Another cheater since it’s Dazai/Oda/Kunikida but it’s mostly just interaction between Kunikida and Dazai. Veeery well written~

Dysfunctional by Reitheflaxseed- (Rated: M) This fic just fucks me up I love it so much it’s such a good exploration of these two and how wonderful they are and just I probably re-read it at least like once a week?????? VERY GOOD.

don’t you know? by chiffonades- (Rated: M) Worried Kunikida and adorableness all through~ very good read

Marry Me by kunikidoppo- (Rated: T) Aaaaa I wish I had more energy to give all of these fics my love but just know!!! VEry!!! GOOD!!

Kunikidazai Week by Silver_Serpent- (Rated: E) How many times have I read this?? I’ve lost count. Wonderful smut. I love it.

Stop thinking so hard by chiffonades- (Rated: E) Workaholic Kuni-bean getting some nice relaxation from Dazai~ A++++

Low-Hanging Stratus by subchesters- (Rated: E) 15k words of BEAUTIFULLY written smut honestly this fic fucks me up so wonderfully I love it so much, it’s basically my go-to for amazing KunikiDazai smut

And that’s about all I can really recommend at the moment!!! I haven’t read everything on ao3 yet but I will soon!! Thank you so much for your ask and I hope you have a good time reading these fics!!!!

[sunflowerseedsandscience]

X-Files Fic: Reminiscence, Chapter One

Timeline: Post-revival, but assuming that “My Struggle II” never happened. Rating: PG, for language only. Summary: This fic was prompted by an awesome video by the amazing @mulderswaterbed, which you can watch here.  Mulder wakes one morning to find that Scully has disappeared, and is told- by those he trusts- that she has been dead for over twenty years.  All of the evidence- and even Mulder’s own memories- seem to back it up.  But is it true?  Or can Mulder not trust anyone- himself included?

A quick note: Plenty of y’all are going to be SCREAMING at me when you finish this chapter, but please, stay with me!  I promise not to steer you wrong!

In his dreams, there are flashing lights, loud noises, the high, keening sound of the wind, and, he could swear, someone calling his name in a panic... though it could have just been more wind.  He wakes once, barely, just enough to register that it's storming outside, raining instead of snowing because it's been a warm winter.

When he wakes for the day, hours later, her side of the bed is cold, empty, the covers pulled up to the pillow and tightly tucked in.  He tries to think back to the conversation they'd had before bed- had she said anything about leaving early?  He could have sworn they'd decided to drive to work together today.  He retrieves his smartphone from the nightstand, but there are no new texts, no missed phone calls.  He rolls onto his back with a groan, staring up at the badly cracked ceiling that he's been meaning to re-plaster for years.

He tells himself that maybe she'd discovered, upon waking, that she'd forgotten something important at her apartment back in DC, and she hadn't wanted to wake him up when she'd realized she'd have to go home before heading to the Hoover building.  Or maybe she'd discovered that he'd run out of coffee earlier this week, and she's making a quick Starbucks run so that she doesn't have to begin the day sans caffeine.

Maybe she's on her way back here, even now.

But when seven-thirty has come and gone, and Mulder has showered, shaved, and donned his suit for the day, and there's still no sign of Scully, he has to conclude that, whatever the reason, she must have decided to leave the house before he'd woken up.

Without telling him.

Mulder tries to remember if there's anything he might have said, at work or after, the previous evening, that could have offended her, could have made her decide to leave in the middle of the night... but, oddly enough, he's having a hard time remembering anything that happened at work at all, and nothing from when they'd arrived back at the house.  He remembers her sitting across from him at the desk in their office, frowning down at something- a report?- and pushing a lock of long hair out of her face, rolling her eyes at something ridiculous he'd said.

Wait.

Long hair?

He shakes his head sharply.  He must not be getting enough sleep, if his brain is this scrambled.

At seven-forty-five, with his tie done up and his briefcase packed, Mulder concludes that he can't wait any longer to see if Scully is coming back before work.  Just to be safe, he pulls his phone out of his pocket, holds down the home key, and instructs it: "Call Scully."  

An electronic chime, a beat, and then the infuriatingly unhelpful digital voice states, "I don't see 'Scully' in your contacts.  Should I look for a location by that name?"  Mulder swears and fully unlocks the phone, goes to his contact list, and scrolls down, to find...

...nothing.

There's "Scully, Margaret," because he's felt an awful pang every time he's gone to delete Maggie's number (and it's only been a couple of weeks, anyway), but no "Scully, Dana."  Swearing again, he switches to the keypad and enters her number from memory.

"The number you have reached is not a working number.  Please hang up and try again."  He frowns at his phone, completely mystified now.  Has he mis-typed it?  No, there it is, clear as day.  What the hell?

One way or another, he's got an hour's drive to get to work, and he needs to leave now.  Whatever's going on, he'll get to the office, see Scully, and get it sorted out.  Knowing his luck, his phone's malfunctioning again.  He's never quite gotten the hang of operating these things; he'd liked it much better when all he'd had to do to get connected to his entire world had been to hold down the "1" key and wait for her to pick up.

------------------------

Mulder's beat-up pickup truck pulls into the parking garage five minutes after nine o'clock.  He'd made a stop for coffee, both one for him and one for Scully, and had needed to step out of the line for several minutes because, suddenly, he couldn't remember how she takes it.  Black?  He didn't think that was right.  Cream and sugar?  Nonfat milk, no sugar?  That last had sounded the most likely, so he'd gone with that.  But to forget his partner's coffee order after twenty-four years... something is clearly wrong in his head this morning.

The office is locked and dark when he reaches it, and his sense of unease deepens further.  Scully is always on time.  Has been as long as he's known her.  

With worry over Scully forming a tight ball in the pit of his stomach, Mulder fires up the computer and checks his e-mail.  Nothing out of the ordinary is waiting for him- Agent Miller has sent him an article on cryptids that he'd found interesting, as he's done a number of times since their meeting after the bombing in Texas, and there's the usual warning from the system administrator that his inbox is over its capacity, advising that he needs to delete older messages.  He gets the same notice at least once a month; he's terrible at cleaning out his e-mails.  Normally Scully has to remind him to do it.

Scully.

He frowns to himself.  It's already nine-thirty and she's still not here.  He glances at his phone again, but there's nothing.  On the exceedingly rare occasions she's been late or taken a sick day before, she's always called, once to him and once to Skinner, to let them both know ahead of time.  He tries her number again, but gets the same non-working number message.  He opens his texts, preparing to ask her if she's okay (even though she won't so much as look at it if she's on the road- no matter what sounds her phone makes, if she's driving, it remains in her purse, on the floor), but is further confused when his entire text conversation with her is nowhere to be found.

He nearly hurls the phone against the wall.  What is going on with this thing?  What else has it randomly decided to delete?  Mulder has other important things on here, saved e-mails and bookmarked websites, documents he's forwarded from the office so that he can have them on hand whenever he needs them, and if his phone is going to suddenly start losing information, it's going to be a problem.

Mulder enters Scully's number manually, and types, "Where are you?  Everything okay?" into the window.  After a moment's hesitation, he adds a little worried face (or at least, he thinks it's a worried face; emojis are a foreign language to him), hoping to keep the tone light.  He doesn't want her to think he's obsessing, freaking out and jumping to the worst possible conclusion, when there's probably a perfectly rational explanation for all of this.

Seconds after he sends the text, it bounces back, with a message: "Error: not delivered."

It must be the phone.  Clearly, he needs a new one.  He reaches for the office phone sitting on the corner of his desk, gets an outside line, and dials Scully's number.

"The number you have reached is not a working number.  Please hang up and-"

He slams the phone down.

What the hell is going on?

Mulder glances up at the clock again.  Nine-forty-five.  Screw it, he thinks to himself, standing abruptly and grabbing his overcoat.  He's driving over to her apartment.  If nothing is wrong, if she's just late and hasn't called, or she's taking a sick day, she's going to be annoyed with him for overreacting... but he'd rather risk her wrath than have something really be wrong, have her needing his help, and not be around to provide it.

He's prepared to throw a half-baked excuse at Skinner, or anyone else he might run into on his way out to his truck, but no one takes any notice of him.  He manages to stay reasonably close to the speed limit, and to his great relief, there's a parking space big enough for his truck readily available right in the front of her building.  He kills the engine, leaps out, and jogs up her front steps.  Someone is exiting the building as he's entering, and he manages to catch the door before it swings shut, eliminating the need to have her buzz him in- as well as the need to use the keys that, he realizes, he's left in his briefcase at work.

The elevator is on another floor, and rather than wait for it, Mulder jogs up to the third floor and down the hall, stopping at Scully's door.  He raps sharply, but for a moment, there's no answer.  His heart in his throat, he knocks again.  "Scully, it's me," he calls.  "Open up, okay?"  There's still no answer.  Could she be in there, injured?  Fell in the shower this morning, maybe?  He pounds on the door again, aware that he's probably disturbing her neighbors.  "Come on, Scully, open the door!"

He's just turning away, deciding to find the super and flash his badge to get him to open the door, when there's the clunk of locks turning, the rattle of the chain being removed, the creak of the door opening.  "Thank God," says Mulder, turning back.  "I was just about to-"  His words freeze in his throat.

It's not Scully.

Standing in the doorway, looking completely bewildered (and not a little afraid), is an elderly woman Mulder's never seen before.

"Can I help you?" she asks, not opening the door all the way.

"I... I'm sorry," Mulder stammers.  "I must have the wrong...."  He glances back at the number on the door.  No, this is definitely Scully's apartment.  "Are you a relative of Dana's?"  Maybe the woman is an aunt who's dropped in for a surprise visit, and that's what's keeping Scully.  But no, the woman looks politely confused.

"Who?"

"Dana Scully," Mulder says insistently.  "The woman who lives here."

"I think you have the wrong apartment," the elderly woman says, and begins to close the door.  Mulder throws out an arm to stop her.

"No, please, I know I have the right address!" he insists.  "I'm looking for my partner, Dana Scully.  She's lived here for the past year and a half, and she didn't show up to work today, and I'm trying to-"

"I've lived here for the past four years, young man," says the woman, pushing the door against Mulder's arm.  "Please leave, or I'll have to call the police."  Mulder withdraws his arm, reluctantly, and the woman slams the door.  He hears the locks falling back into place, and he steps back, pacing up and down the hallway, completely at a loss.  What had started out as unease is quickly descending into full-blown terror.

Scully is missing.  He has no idea where she is.  And someone else is living in her apartment.

Mulder's head is spinning.  He feels sick.  He races back down to the lobby and out the front doors, hoping that the cold February air will shock him back to sanity and make everything make sense again... but all he feels is a rising sense of panic.

Skinner, he thinks to himself, racing to his truck and jumping in shoving the key roughly into the ignition.  He has to find Skinner and tell him what's going on.  If something has happened to Scully, Skinner will want to get to the bottom of it as quickly as possible.  He'll throw the full resources of the Bureau into it, Mulder knows he will.

Skinner will help him figure it out.

-------------------------

Skinner's assistant (Kimberly left ages ago and Mulder can never remember her replacement's name) isn't at her desk, so Mulder goes straight to the office door and pounds on it.

"Come in," calls a gruff voice from within, and Mulder throws open the door and races in.  The Deputy Director is seated at his desk.

"Sir," he says.  "There's a problem."  Skinner frowns.

"What is it, Agent Mulder?"

"Scully's missing," he says, struggling to keep the panic out of his voice.  "She was at the house last night when I went to sleep, but she was gone when I woke up this morning."  He can't read the expression on Skinner's face at all, but it's not a good one.  He's not sure why the idea of Scully being with him last night would be upsetting; hadn't they lived together for years before she'd moved out?  They have a son together, for Christ's sake.  Now is not the time for Skinner to suddenly have a problem with all of this.  Mulder forges ahead.  "I thought maybe she'd just left early to get ready for work at home, but she never showed up this morning.  Never called or anything.  I couldn't get through to her on her cell phone, so I drove out to her apartment, and...."  He shakes his head, still unable to make sense of the morning's events.  "There's a woman there, in her apartment, a total stranger, and she says she's been living there for four years."  Skinner is still silent, still looking at him with that unreadable- but frightening- expression.  "Something's happened, Sir.  She's in trouble.  I can feel it.  We have to-"

"Agent Mulder," Skinner interrupts, his voice icy cold, "is this some sort of sick joke?"  Mulder's mouth drops open.

"A joke?  Sir, I don't-"

"Because if it is," Skinner continues, standing slowly, "I assure you, it is in very poor taste."  Now Mulder understands: Skinner thinks he and Scully are pranking him, pretending something's happened to her in order to rile him up.  And Mulder has to agree that if that were what he's trying to do, it would be in poor taste.  Scully's gone missing before, after all.

"No, Sir, I promise," says Mulder urgently.  "It's not a joke.  I would never joke about something like that.  Scully's missing and we need to find her before something-"

"Agent Mulder," says Skinner, walking out from behind his desk, exuding a cold fury Mulder hasn't felt directed at him in over twenty years, "Dana Scully was shot and killed twenty-three years ago in 1994."

The world around Mulder spins alarmingly.  He reels back as though Skinner's words have literally struck him.  Staggering slightly to the side, his hand comes to rest on the arm of one of the two chairs sitting in front of Skinner's desk, and he looks down at it, uncomprehending.

And suddenly, Mulder is assaulted with a memory.  Distant, hazy, but still there.  Skinner's old office, when he'd been assistant director, their boss for less than a year.  Mulder closes his eyes as the images flash before him.

A much younger Skinner, sitting in the other chair, hanging his head.  His hand on Mulder's shoulder... because Mulder is sobbing, his entire body shaking.  His suit jacket has been lost somewhere along the way, and his dress shirt is covered in blood.  Blood that's not his.  His chest is aching, is heart is completely broken and shattered, because Scully is... Scully is....

No.

Mulder shakes his head, and the image dissolves.  Skinner is standing in front of him, looking more concerned now than angry.

"Agent Mulder?"  His voice is cautious, worried.  "What's going on?"  But Mulder scarcely hears him.  Skinner reaches out to clasp Mulder's arm, but he rips away, turning and tearing out of Skinner's office.

Just like at Scully's apartment building, he foregoes the elevator and flies down the stairs, not stopping until he reaches the basement.  He pounds along the hallway, digging his keys out of his pocket as he goes... but when he reaches the office door, he finds it standing open, the lights on.  He catches his breath.  Is she here?  No, the office is empty.  Maybe Skinner had come down earlier, looking for him.

Mulder dashes to the file cabinet in the corner and jerks open the bottom drawer.  Everything prior to 1998 had been lost in the fire, but he and Scully have spent years retrieving backup copies from every possible source.  And the one he's searching for had been so important, had touched so many different divisions and individuals, that getting their hands on another copy had been no problem at all.

It's filed in the S's, under "Scully, Dana."  Initially, it had been in the B's, under "Barry, Duane," but later, after the episode with Jerse, after her cancer, after Emily, and Ruskin Dam, Mulder had consolidated everything into one file so that Scully would not constantly be stumbling over her own history, no matter which drawer she opened.

Even as he seizes the file in his hands and rips it out of the drawer, he knows something is wrong.  The file is much, much too thin.  He flips it open, and the first thing he sees is that hated photograph, the enlarged, pixelated, black-and-white picture of Scully stuffed into the trunk of a car, staring up in abject terror at her captor.  He shoves it to the side, unwilling to look at it for a second longer than he has to.  Underneath is a typed-up report, one whose opening paragraphs he recognizes, and he pulls it out.

The beginning is familiar enough: Agent Dana Scully was abducted from her apartment by Duane Barry following his escape from the hospital earlier that same night.  She had been in the process of leaving a message for Mulder at the time, and her abduction had been recorded on his answering machine.  Lifting the report slightly, he can see a copy of the tape resting underneath.  Barry had come back on the FBI's radar after killing a police officer who had stopped him while driving, and camera footage had captured Scully in the trunk of Barry's car.  Mulder had deduced- correctly- that Barry had been taking Scully to Skyland Mountain, scene of his own earlier abduction, and had raced there to try and intercept him.

But here, the written account diverges from what Mulder remembers.

In Mulder's memory, he had arrived scant moments too late and had found Duane Barry shrieking his victory to an empty sky, with Scully nowhere to be found.  He had taken Barry into custody, where the man had eventually died.

In the report, Mulder had come on the scene and had found Barry waiting for him, Scully clutched in front of him, a gun held to her temple.  Mulder had tried to talk to Barry, to calm him down...

...and suddenly, it's happening again, just like in Skinner's office, moments ago.  The memory is foggy and distorted... but he can see Duane Barry, standing in the hilltop clearing, his face wild and deranged.  Scully stands before him, bound and gagged, a livid bruise on her cheek and tears in her terrified eyes.  Mulder tries to keep his voice calm, soothing, but it's hard, so hard, with his partner standing there, looking as though Barry's arm around her chest is all that's holding her up.

He says something wrong.

Mulder doesn't know what it is that sets Barry off.  All he knows is that the gun in Barry's hand fires, there's the bright flash of the muzzle, and Scully slumps.  Barry releases her and she falls ungracefully to the ground, and less than a second later Barry, too, falls, as Mulder shoots him straight through the forehead.

Mulder sees all of this in his mind, but he does not believe it.  He can't believe it.  That's not how it happened.

But there, at the bottom of the report, is his signature.  He wrote this.  He signed it.  He tucked it into this file, with....

"Oh, Jesus," Mulder moans to himself, as he looks into the bottom of the file.  They would have given Scully's personal effects to her family, of course, but this, this they could not have given back, because technically, it's the property of the FBI.

From under all of the papers, Mulder withdraws a slim, leather case, and opens it.

Scully's FBI badge.  Her identification.  Her young, earnest face, just as it had looked when she had shaken his hand in 1993.

Mulder lurches across the office, falling to his knees in front of the trash can next to his desk and vomiting into it.  He feels too weak to stand, and breathing through the pain constricting his chest feels almost impossible.  He's barely aware of the sound of high heels clicking down the hallway outside, barely cognizant that someone is standing in the office doorway, until they speak.

"Fox?"

There are very few things that could penetrate the state of shock that Mulder is in... but this voice is definitely one of them.  Because he hasn't heard this voice since 1999.  He jerks to his feet and staggers back, against the wall.  He shouldn't be hearing this voice.  He can't be hearing it, because its owner is-

But she's not dead.  She's standing in the office doorway, looking at him with concern and worry in her eyes.

"Fox," says Diana Fowley, "what on earth is going on?"