#and please dont yell at me (general request)

[altschmerzes]

hey saw ur comment on the man city fix it fic ab Jamie’s fathers death & was wondering what u disliked ab the Jamie’s mum and Simon part? not judging or anything im just curious!!

yeaaaaaaah so! from what ive seen at least this is a not particularly common opinion which is fine, im aware i have some particular biases and priorities and whatnot in this area, but it just… i didnt like that stuff at all. it really put me off actually, for a couple reasons. i'll get into why, but i know a lot of people like Really Loved that stuff and especially his mom - and it also gets a little down on season 3 and the writing team as a whole at some points lmao - so i'll put it under a cut.

(this got. very long. im so sorry.)

it basically boils down to a couple things: 1. what they presented us with doesn't hold water if poked literally at all in any direction, 2. it made me feel a little uncomfortable given the way everything else in jamie's arc played out, and 3. if they were going to do something like this, they needed WAY more time and narrative space to execute it well in general and specifically for ME to execute it in a way that didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.

there are a few things that i generally dread when you have a character who's presented to have some serious trauma related to their family and specifically to an abusive parent, and one of those things is the sudden inclusion of another parent in there who is just. everything is totally fine and normal and happy and not at all complicated with them! it always makes me feel weird and bad when that happens, especially when there is no explanation provided for how that like. fits in with the abuse we know they experienced as well. that is a matter of personal preference, and i can own that. i just don't like it, and it makes me feel weird and uneasy. and that's part of it here, but what's also part of it is that i think that - my personal feelings about this type of character choice overall aside - they did not execute it well given the story they'd already presented us with, the way they used these new characters, and how much time they spent on it.

the image they presented of jamie's mom and stepdad is like… very simple and positive and shiny and uncomplicated. it's just good. they just love and support him and are a positive and affectionate active presence. and that might seem like an unfair characterization of it because we saw very little and we know very little of what their relationship is actually like - we don't know what might be complicated, what might be messy, how often they talk, etc - but that’s honestly part of my issue here. we were given a sliver of a glimpse into jamie's mom and his relationship with her and his stepdad when jamie as a character is someone who is hugely defined by his family history and the baggage and trauma and danger associated with it. if they were going to do this, they needed to spend way more time on it. they needed to introduce her earlier, do something to make it jive with what we were already presented about her: some vague mentions, half of which were in past tense, and all of which seemed to imply very strongly that if she were alive (which there was a lot of confusion about!) then they were likely to some degree estranged, because it seemed pretty clear with the 'i don't know if she would be [proud] lately' bit that he literally did not know what she thought of him in recent years. and like. it seems like i'm nitpicking, but again, this is a character who has been so strongly based in and defined by his family and the like. past and current danger and trauma associated with it.

especially given how little time or attention was given to everything else with his family, it was just way too late in the game to introduce these characters and be able to do them and their relationship with the existing characters justice. like you’ve already got a complicated story you’re skipping most of and not giving its due do you really need to add more really complicated stuff in there. and then just go actually it's not complicated don't worry about it :) like. that just doesn't work for me.

so that's where i'm at like, not only do i inherently dislike this sort of element introduced with this type of character, which is a me problem, i also think the story they presented in that episode with his mom and simon just flat out didn't make sense and they did not have the time to make it make sense even if they'd tried, which they didn't. like... if things are just fine and normal and easy with them and she’s just great and loving and supportive it’s like i. So What Happened, Then.

it makes his entire arc make less sense. if she's just Been Here what happened? why did he need to be reminded that not EVERYONE in his life was out to get him? why did keeley have to tell him to stop battling everyone that was just trying to help him? why is he so isolated and adrift at the beginning of season two? why did she never attend a single match? why did we never see him text or call or mention her in a contemporary way? like there COULD be answers to those things that make sense with what they presented, but we didn't get any of those answers and those are big questions to me given they comprise like... all of jamie's character arc lmao. at the end of the day, throwing in the stuff with his mom feels... really disrespectful to the story they wrote with him (that they already fell down on the job with) to just throw that in there with no consideration or attention paid to how it fits with or impacts anything already established.

i truly don't think that every question needs to be answered in a story. i am not saying that. i'm not saying someone needed to turn to the audience and go here's the logistic details of exactly how and when everything that happened with jamie and his parents happened. but there are some serious issues with like, telling a coherent story, and utilizing the extremely limited narrative space that a secondary character in an ensemble show can be afforded. (especially when in season three it really felt like they were already racing through characters and plot lines and backstory stuff like the goal was to just drop info just to Have It and then never address or do anything with it at all.) why did they do that, is what i keep going back to. you're telling a story with very limited space and a lot of characters. so what was the reason for that stuff to be there? so that someone could lay the 'yea he was a dick but he made you into this person! you're so strong now!' foundation for ted telling jamie to forgive his dad and 'disappointed teacher face' him into saying 'thank you' after the 'fuck you'? or was it just fanservice that you didn't think needed to fit with the rest of the story narratively or thematically? because that's where i keep going back to as well.

it just... and this is the bitchier, more spiteful part of me saying this, the part that was PROFOUNDLY let down by the way they handled the aspects of jamie's arc to do with his family and with the abuse he suffered, but it feels like an attempt to use happy sparkly fanservice-y funny and feel-good scenes with his adorable mom and sweet stepdad to like. pull way back on the rest of his whole situation with his family like see no he’s fine! isn’t it great how funny and adorable his mom is! isnt his stepdad fun! everything is fine actually things with his dad are just ~complicated because james drinks :) (and then all he needs to do about that is grow up and forgive, he's just a melodramatic mama's boy, the pain is his fault and he'll be fine once he Forgives, and rehab fixes everything). i don't have some kind of conspiracy that this was their actual reasoning but that's how it hit to me - whoops we don't actually want to deal with the abuse so we're gonna sweep it way under the couch and look! see! here's his cute fun mom isn't she great! (He's Fine Don't Worry About It, His Family Is Actually Sooooo Supportive!)

but yeah that's the bitchy and unfair part of me so. that's not really my main point.

(i also gotta say everything about that sequence with jamie and company at his mom's house feels like... tissue paper thin and very fucking weird from both a narrative and a logistical point of view. the stuff with the actual people of his mom and stepdad aside, what the hell was up with his room? what was that poster of keeley doing there. when did that go up. how old was he when he put it there. yeah she's older than him by a fair bit but not THAT much older. and if he was putting it up as like, a teenager or something, why is the rest of that room decorated for a seven year old. parents preserve their kids rooms like shrines this is true but the idea of a like, jamie in his mid/late teens or whatever putting that poster of keeley up but also sleeping in a little kid's bed still is like... did you think about this at all. it really does not seem like you did. At All. it just goes to my spiteful fringe theory about that whole sequence which is “oh this is pure 100% gratuitous backpatting fanservice that nobody actually thought about in any real way whatsoever”)

sorry this got so long but i have a lot of thoughts on this and they get kicked up every time i see posts gushing about how much people loved georgie or those scenes or whatnot like everyone is of course entitled to their opinion and i don't hold it against anyone! but that stuff hit way different for me and just added insult to injury in an episode that generally seemed to handle jamie and his situation in a way i found cringeworthy and weird at best and offensive and victim blaming at worst.

[samandcolbyownme]

This one shot is going to have reader being choked with a chain necklace, PLEASE DONT READ IF YOURE UNCOMFORTABLE!

Also, if you haven't read part 1, I suggest doing so before reading this part! 

Summary: request in the comments of part one - "omg maybe you can continue?? pleasee than jake finds out. or maybe that johnnie goes live again and y/n walks by and the chat sees her neck and asks in to it?" 

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, CHOKING with a metal chain, hair pulling, biting, scratching, oral (m rec), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, general filth 

Word count: 2.8K | not edited 

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

Your fingers grazed over the slightly faded bruises from a few days ago. You're actually surprised they haven't gone away yet, same as Johnnie. 

"Whatcha doing?" Johnnie asks and you jump slightly, "God damn, I need to put a bell on you." 

He laughs, smiling as he walks up behind you, "Still haven't gone away, huh?" 

He reaches up to move your hair, looking at the yellowish brown color of the bruising, "Taking its good old time I guess." 

You laugh, spinning around to face him, "I guess so." You hook your finger over the same chain that was used to wrap around your neck, "What are your plans today?" 

You look up at him, and he smirks, "I talked Jake into doing a stream with me." 

You raise your brows, nodding, "Ah, sounds fun." 

"Yeah, I don't know what we're doing. Jake said he's bringing something over, so I'm kind of scared." 

You laugh, "Yeah, you never know what the man has planned." You slide your hands up his chest, "So I was thinking.." 

"Oh, I like when you think." Johnnie laughs softly and you twirl the chain around your finger, "maybe when you're done streaming.." you bite your lip and look up at him.

He tilts his head, "Mm, I see. You don't want those bruises to go away, do you?" 

You shrug, "I think of it.." you lean in closer to him, "As a semi-permanent necklace from the one I love dearly." 

He clears his throat, "Fuck, okay. I mean.." he sighs, "That's hot. I can't lie." 

You smirk, sighing slightly as you hear the front door open, "He has the worst possible timing on this planet." 

"Yo, john john." Jake yells, his footsteps growing closer as he walks back the hall, "Where the fak are ya!?" 

"I'm not here." Johnnie yells back and you try not to laugh too loudly. Jake walks back, stopping when he sees you and Johnnie. 

"Um, I'm just gonna.." he points with his thumb behind him and slowly takes a few steps back. 

"We're not doi-" 

Jake cuts you off, "Yeah, uh huh. Alright." 

You laugh, "You better go." Johnnie kisses your forehead, "Don't go too far." He smirks, giving you a wink before turning and running into the door frame. 

"Oh." You cover your mouth and he sighs, "You make me nervous. This is your fault." He points back to you before stepping over and walking out.

You shake your head laughing, flipping off the light switch as you walk out to the living room. 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A little bit later, you hear Johnnie call for you from the room, "Hey babe." 

"Yeah?" You yell back. 

"Come here. There's donuts." 

You get up, walking back the hall, peaking your head around the opening, "Donuts you say?" 

"Yeah, come get some before ass face eats them all." Johnnie laughs and you tilt your head, "Johnnie, that wasn't nice." You smile walking in and Jake points to Johnnie like a child, "Ah ha. You got yelled at." 

"I'll yell at you next if you want me to." You say walking around to stand behind them. 

Jake shakes his head, mouth full of donut muffling his words, "No ma'am." He holds his hands up, "I'm good." 

You laugh, reaching between them to grab a donut from the box. 

You hear Jake whispering and donut pieces fly from his mouth, landing on Johnnie as he yells, "Johnnie! What did you do to y/n?" 

"Dude! Your donuts chunks are spewing all over me." Johnnie wipes himself off, looking up to read the chat quickly before looking at Jake, "What are you ta-" 

His eyes go wide, along with yours, and he starts to laugh nervously, "Oh, um.. that." 

Jake tosses his donut down, standing up a he wipes his icing covered fingers on his shirt, "What the fuck. Was this consensual?!"

"Oh my god." You turn away, "Can you not make it a big deal, Jake." 

Johnnie sits there, a nervous smirk on his face, "guys. I think.. I can try and explain this.." 

"No, guys. I don't think he tried to murder her." Jake answers the chat, "Johnnie is a menace." He laugh, "Yeah, a menace to society." 

You turn back around, "I'm just gonna, step over to the side." You laugh and walk out of camera view. 

"It was not, and I repeat not attempted murder." Johnnie lifts his hands, "That's my commentary. Moving on." 

"Was it from the chain around your neck?" Jake looks over at Johnnie, trying to hold back his laughter, "That's a great question." 

"I said moving on." Johnnie yells while laughing, "Jesus Christ." 

Your hand moves up to lay over your neck, taking in what just happened. 

"How many people are here?" Jake leans in, squinting, "Forty thousand people now know that you're an attempted murderer." 

"Jake, no. No. Let's not spread that around." Johnnie rests his elbow on the table, laying his head in his hand, "for fucks sake." 

"Nah, if Johnnie was a murder, he'd come-" Jake laughs, "For me first. Let's be honest." 

You roll your eyes, "I genuinely cannot.." you sigh, shaking your head, "Fuck me." 

"I'm sure if you gave Johnnie the chance he would." Jake looks at you and you nod, "How do you think the marks got here in the first place?" 

Jake's mouth drops as he slowly turns to Johnnie, "You fucking freak." 

Johnnie smiles at you, shaking his head as he leans down to pretend to bash it off the table, "You know if you weren't here-"

"Your life would be boring. I know." Jake smirks, pulling his shoulders up, "You're welcome." 

"I was going to say better, but whatever helps you sleep at night." Johnnie rolls his eyes. He leans in, groaning as he reads the chat, "Figure it out yourselves."

He laughs, "Y/n. How did that happen?" 

You shrug, "I'm not really sure, I woke up one morning and they were there." 

"Oh god, don't." Johnnie laughs, "I promise it wasn't me." 

Jake starts laughing hard, "They.. oh my god, they wanna know if it was Timmy." 

You start laughing, "Jesus Christ. No." You shake your head, yelling, "I'm leaving." 

You walk back out to the living room, getting onto Johnnie's stream on your phone, mainly to read the comments. 

User1: NAH it was definitely the chain around Johnnie's neck you can't tell me ANYTHING different  User2: JOHNNIE WTF  User3: wait. I think y/n joined the stream  User4: JOHNNIE YOUR GF IS SO HOT 

"Y/n. You're in the living room. Get out." Johnnie waves his hand, "Oh the chat I mean. Get out of my stream." 

You smirk as you type, Ouch. That was rude.

"Thank you. I know my girlfriend is hot." Johnnie shrugs, "Why she wants to be with me? I have no idea, but I'm grateful for it." 

User5: JOHNNIE be nice to y/n  Used6: oh my god I love these people  User7: so y/n, tell us about the bruises  User8: PLEASE BEGGING ON MY KNEES  User9: WAS IT THE CHAIN IT WAS THE CHAIN WASNT IT 

You laugh, I have no comment on that matter lol. 

"Y/n!" Johnnie yells, getting up to leave the room. He walks out the hall and stands there staring at you, "Babe!" 

"What?" You ask innocently, "I'm just.. watching this cute guys stream, well.." you show him your phone, "the cute guy left us with his weird friend.. Jake, I think his name is?" 

"Ha ha, very funny." He walks over, leaning down. Your eyes look at the chain that's swinging from his neck and you look back up at him, "Don't tease me like that." 

He smiles, "I'm not doing anything." He stands up, turning to walk away and you watch as he disappears back the hallway, reappearing on your phone screen, "Sorry. I had to um, yeah." 

Jake is sitting there eating another donut, "uh huh. So anyway.." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

It's around ten when Jake and Johnnie finally end the stream. 

You're sitting in bed, scrolling on your phone when you see a notification pop up. You tap it, laughing when you see a picture of Johnnie with the words above it, 'I just know this guy is a freak in the sheets.'

"Johnnie, baby!" You call out and Johnnie walks into the bedroom, "What?" He closes the door and walks over to you. 

You turn your phone around and he sighs, hanging his head down, "Oh fuck. Here comes the memes." 

You reach over to set your phone on the stand, leaning back over to look up at him, "I mean.. I can definitely confirm that this meme is true." 

"Oh yeah?" He tilts his head and you twirl the metal around your finger as you nod, "Mhm." 

He brushes hair from your face, "I can confirm the same about you, you know that right?" You shrug, "If you want, or you can just experience for yourself." 

You bite your lip as you smile and he nods, "Mm, now that's tough choice." 

You tug on the chain slightly, "Metal chain part two sounds good right now doesn't it." 

He nods, "One hundred percent." He smirks as he dips his head down to attach his lips to yours.

You kick the blankets off, revealing your, already bare, legs. 

Johnnie slides a hand down, slipping it between your thighs, "Soaked." He mumbles against your lips, slipping his fingers in past the thin lining of your panties. 

"Tell me when you want it." He whispers, lips brushing against yours. 

You let out a small moan, gasping as he pushes his fingers in deeper, "Fuck, now." 

He lifts the chain off over his head, letting it fall over yours, "All yours, my love." Johnnie smirks as he wraps the metal chain around his hand. 

He slowly tightens it as he works his fingers in and out of your soaked cunt. 

Your eyes flutter closed as the metal tightens against your skin, slowly causing your whimpers and moans to become quieter and quieter. 

He keeps the chain tight against your neck as his fingers work in and out of you at a pace that's sure to get you where he wants you.

"You gonna cum for me?" He asks in a low tone. 

You nod, squeezing his fingers. 

Your eyes flutter shut as you feel so close to that knot in your stomach snapping - until he stops, slipping his fingers from you. 

"J-Johnnie." You whimper, frustrated that he stoped right when you were about to cum. 

He releases the chain and lets it drop onto your chest, "Knees baby." 

You sit up, sliding down off of the bed and resting on your knees. He moves to sit on the edge of the bed, standing up to undo the belt on his jeans. 

You slip your shirt off over your body, leaving you in nothing but your panties and the chain hanging down between your boobs. 

You reach up, pulling down his pants, eager to have him inside of you, way one or the other. 

Johnnie unbuttons his black button up, letting it lay open as he watches you move in between his knees. He lifts his hips to slip down his boxers, biting down gently into his lip ring when one of your hands wraps around the base of his cock. 

His head tilts back slightly, eyes still on you as you slowly stroke him. 

You lick your lips, looking up at him as you watch him completely melt into your touch. 

"Fuck, baby." Johnnie breathes out, reaching down to hook his finger over the chain. He pulls it up, using it to pull you closed to his cock, "Don't tease me, sweetheart." 

You open your mouth, taking the top of his cock into your mouth, causing a groan to escape his lips. The chain slowly tightens as he gradually moves his hand down it getting it closer to your neck.

He twists it, sliding his hand back to loop it around his hand as you bob your head up and down. 

His hips buck as he gasps, "Fuck." 

You push your head down as far as it can go, holding it there until he tugs on the chain, "So fucking good." 

You smirk up at him, dipping your head back down to take the head of his cock back between your lips.

He lays his other hand on your head, gently rubbing his thumb over your hair as you work your way back down onto him, "S-shit, that's it baby." 

You squeeze your eyes shut, bobbing your head a few more times before he pulls the chain, getting you to pop off. 

You lean back, smirking up at him with watery eyes as a string of saliva keeps you connected to him. 

He lets go of the chain, biting onto his lip ring as he swipes the corner of your mouth with his thumb, "Ride me." 

You scramble to your feet, chain still in Johnnie's hand like a leash as you push your panties down and flick them away with your foot. 

Johnnie moves backwards on the bed, pulling you along with him. 

You crawl up his body, straddling his waist. He pulls you down, connecting his lips with yours. You reach down between your bodies, taking his cock into your hand as you lift up. 

You keep your lips on his, moaning into his mouth as you sink down onto him. 

A groan leaves his lips and the chain tightens around your neck, "Fucking shit." Johnnie breathes out, "You feel so fucking good." 

You whimper quietly as you move your hips up and down. 

Rocking forward and back, hands on his chest as he keeps the chain right where you want it. 

Your eyes close as you let yourself rest all the way down, a strangle moan escaping as the chain looses for just a quick second. 

Johnnie pulling you down to him, your body going naturally, "Keep going, sweetheart." 

You dig your nails into his chest as you push down to lift yourself up, earning moans from Johnnie as you slide back down. 

You felt close again, even though you couldn't say it, he knew. 

"Come on, baby. You can do it." He coaches, "Cum for me." 

You tilt your head back, the chain pulling tighter. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, muffled moans slip through your parted lips as you clench your walls around his cock. 

Johnnie bucks his hips upward as his fingers dig into your hip, "Just like that, baby. Fuck, just like that." 

You look down at him, hair falling in front of your face, which he quickly brushes away so he can watch you. 

His eyes scan down your body, lip pulled between his teeth as his breathing grows heavier. 

He sits up, taking over as he lays you flat on your back, chain pinned down right next to your neck - you knew there would be new bruises tomorrow. 

But that was the point. 

Johnnie's thrusts are hard, fast, full of love and pleasure. He loved making you feel good. 

If it wasn't for the chain holding you'd back, you'd probably be screaming, moaning his name over and over again loudly. 

Your nails drag up his arms and dig them into his shoulders. He leans down, pressing his lips to yours as he causes the chain to loosen. 

He swallows your moans, groaning as he lays a hand on your cheek, thrusting his cock into you. 

He holds it there as he twitches, alternating kissing your lips and neck, "Did I hurt you?" 

You lay a hand on his cheek, brushing his hair from his eyes, "No, but just don't panic tomorrow morning when there's more bruises." 

"You are such a freak." He smirks, sitting up, "But I love you." 

"I think I've heard that once or twice before." You smirk, "I love you." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

I couldn't stop thinking about this, so I hope you enjoyed it. Making Headlines for Sam Golbach will be out next, and hopefully soon. 

As always, I love yas. Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought of it!  likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[syxilla]

If requests is still up then - Can you please do a kenji sato x best friend/ extrovert x introvert relationship. Where kenji likes showing off , reader is reserved. And like a balanced relation?!🙏

Kenji x !introverted bestfriend reader

my requests are open dw! actually this is my first ever ask, so idrk how i'll do- but i think i got what u wanted correctly? (pls tell me if im wrong) also, as usual i dont proof read so mind my mistakes! (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

cw: ken sato x gender neutral reader, relatively sfw, introverted reader, (pre-relationship) best friend reader, reader is a pessimist, ken is aggresively kind (kinda)

-bestfriend! kenji who aggresively shakes you while holding your arm. "y/n!" kenji yells excitedly, this made you drop your book, bending its pages. "oh my- what do you want ji?" you grumbled, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. "you~" he flirted while smirking.

-bestfriend! kenji who gets a flick in the middle of his forehead. "you made me drop my book." who'd rub the spot with a pout playing on his lips. "that hurttt" he whined. "and what do you want me to do about it?" youd query, picking up your book tryying to find the page. "a kiss to make the pain go away?"hed smile.

-bestfriend! kenji who's smile would grow wider once he felt your soft lift press against his head briefly. "thank you!" hed drag out before swinging an arm pver your shoulder to bring you closer. you know, regular friend things.

-bestfriend! kenji who always forces you out of your comfort zone by dragging you to events such as concerts, parades, festivals and most recently the movies. the movies where hed buy everything for you both, eat an absurd amount of snacks you both knew would make his tummy hurt and yet he still did. putting on a mask to not draw any unwanted attention to you both. forcing you to watch horror movies with him that had an excessive amount of blood and nightmare fuel, making you cling onto his arm whenever itd make you jump. not that he minded. of course he wouldnt mind, he never did when it was you.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd rent out the entire theater if you really didnt want to interact with anyone. youd always try to discourag him from doing so, saying he shouldnt spend a lot of money on you, but he always says its fine. he loves to show off his wealth to you, and he also loves to spoil you. buyinng you gifts and practically anything you wanted. just say the word and youll have it. perks of having rich baseball players as a (sadly) best friend.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd drag you into various fancy stores that someone of your working class would have no idea about just so you could rate the things hed grab. "does this shirt look good on me?" hed ask, as if he could look bad in anything. and youd nod, a slight warmness in your cheeks when youd watch him change in and out of each shirt. trying your best to not stare.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd lay his head on yours or on your shoulder after a tiring game. only wanting to sleep. and you didnt mind, just ruffling his hair and enjoying the company of your friend. all while ignoring the little voices in your friend that were desperately trying to change the word friend into something else.

-bestfriend! kenji who promises to always be by your side in larger crowds. tuggling you close enough so that you felt the warmth generating off of his body. you especially liked this warmth during the winter, he was like your own personal fireplce wrapped in a ball of cuteness and a ribbon of sarcasm.

-bestfriend! kenji who you may or may not have feelings for. the same kenji who just asked you out on a date.

(i hope i didnt dissapoint, ty again for submitting an ask, i hope i did u justice!)

[incogrio]

k.th - escape with me

pairing: taehyun x gn! reader

genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort except i’m bad at writing the hurt part

synopsis: taehyun tries to make up for not being able to go out in public w u. ends up trying to act tough in an escape room.

warnings: poorly written all around, angst, tae is kinda mean, reader is cringy, members make fun of tae

w/c: 1.5k+

a/n: okay so. this took so long to write bc ya boy has been STRUGGLING w both motivation and the wifi in costa rica. i kinda gave up at the end, pls forgive me :( once im back in the states, ill be writing much better fics! and i’ll be accepting requests for enhypen too!!!!! (might be a little inaccurate as i am currently getting into them) ANYWAYS LOVE YALL I HOPE YOU DONT KILL ME FOR HOW BAD THIS IS!!!

taehyun was, in many ways, your dream boy. he was affectionate, protective, caring, funny, and he always listened.

except for when he couldn’t.

you were currently in your third fight of the week with your boyfriend of a few months. the topic of your arguments never wavered: you could never be seen in public with him. actually, scratch that. you could be in public with him. it’s not like you wanted a huge display of affection right in the middle of the streets of seoul. you did, however, want to feel like your relationship with your boyfriend wasn’t so one sided.

“tyun, please, stop.” you cried, resting your head in your hands whilst seated on the couch.

“no, you have to listen! i can’t give you what you want, y/n. if only you stopped being so selfish.”

and then, footsteps. a door slamming. blood began rushing to your ears and manifesting itself as tears cascading down your cheeks. he never called you by your real name. he never left you in the middle of a fight. he never made you sob without consoling you. he never.

it wasn’t until two days later that you heard from taehyun in forms other than ‘did you eat?’ texts and doordash notifications. three heavy knocks erupted from the side of taehyun’s fist and the wooden door. the same door that you had been seated at everyday for hours, awaiting his return.

“angel, are you there?” he asked, his voice clearly strained from sobbing or yelling, or both. you didn’t respond, but he noticed your shadow sitting on the ground via the slit between the door and the floor.

he sighed as he slowly adjusted himself to sit with his side and head leaning against the wood.

“you don’t have to open up. just listen, yeah? can you listen for me, doll?” he asked rhetorically. “i am so sorry, angel. you… you deserve so much more than i am able to give you. so much more than hiding and sneaking around and figuring out disguises. you deserve your praises shouted from the rooftops.” taehyun sighed.

a pregnant pause. “i talked to hybe. that’s… that’s what i’ve been doing. i told them how much it’s been hurting us. and i think we can make this work! if you want to, angel… please, please want to.”

you sniffle. “i do.” taehyun closed his eyes and sighed dreamily at the sound of your voice. he allowed himself to cry for a moment, biting his lip to quench his whines.

“thank you, baby.”

a few days later, taehyun is in the back of txt’s van, accompanied by all the members and you. he had promised you that you’d be able to go on actual dates, as long as they were slightly modified. restaurants would be cleared out of people, and staff were to sign an nda. parks were to be closed off to the general public due to “maintenance”. movie theaters were to be kept completely dark at all times, with only you two and the staff not even being allowed to know who the famous person was. it was not a normal relationship, far from it, but it was yours. and he cared enough to try for you.

today, you were on your way to an escape room. txt were already filming a “to-do” episode in this specific location, and taehyun managed to convince the staff to give him a separate escape room to do with you after the filming had ended. you were ecstatic when he told you, and he was ecstatic that you were no longer crying because of him.

except, for a few days ago, when he told his beloved members of the plans.

“you’re taking… them… to an escape room? you’re a scaredy cat.” soobin noted with a scrunched up face in confusion. tyun’s happy smile slowly deflated, his eyes uncrinkling as he thought about what he said.

beomgyu immediately burst out laughing, “you’re gonna embarrass yourself! oh my god- you should record it too!” taehyun immediately rolled his eyes, and pretended his members words didn’t get to him. kai immediately went up to him and patted his back silently.

so now, as he sits next to you he’s fidgeting with his shorts, looking out the window as his sweat becomes more frequent. would you think he was a loser if he got scared? would you break up with him? make fun of him? prefer kai because of his calmness when it comes to jumpscares?

he began bobbing his leg up and down, gnawing at his lip as the van finally pulled up to the filming location. taehyun tried his best to calm himself for the filming, but found that the members had to say his nerves were from fear of the jumpscares.

what felt like too long and too little time passed, and suddenly you were both being told the synopsis of your goal by the escape room manager.

as you both walk inside the dimly lit, extremely decorated gigantic cage, you slip your hand into taehyuns.

“i’m a little nervous…” you muttered, and he felt a glimpse of both hope and bravery blossom in his chest.

a small smile graced his lips, “don’t worry, i’ll protect you!” he said with his teeth sticking out from behind his lips. he looked adorably unthreatening. immediately after, a booming recording welcomed you into the chamber.

“WELCOME LAB RATS!” it shouted, causing you both to jump, “DONT WORRY! YOU WONT BE IN THIS CAGE SOON! SOON, YOU’LL BE JUST LIKE HIM!” and suddenly! the roof pops open and a giant, fake rat corpse falls to the ground. you immediately shriek and hide behind taehyun, and he gulps in fear as he tries his best to maintain his composure.

he reaches behind him with one hand, holding your waist softly as he tries to simultaneously comfort the both of you, and uses his free hand to stuff his closed fist into his mouth in a desperate attempt to stifle his scream.

you slowly creep out from behind him, realizing how obviously fake the rat was and that you had missed all of the clues the fake doctor had given you during the rest of his monologue. oh well, you think, and look to tae.

“are you…” you laugh a little, “are you okay?” you ask incredulously as you witness his biting on his fist. he looks up, immediately dropping his fist and shoving his tough guy act back on.

he nods, clenching his jaw and trying to keep a straight face.

oh, you think. oh this is going to be fun.

you insist on splitting up, looking around a comically food bowl and finding various clues and seemingly random items.

tae is behind you on the other side of the cage. he reaches his hand inside the giant pile of fake hamster shavings, straining his neck to keep his eyes barely looking at the scene in front of him. as he combs through the shavings, his hands wrap around a small, cylindrical object. he shrieks in fear, launching back and landing on his butt before crawling over to you.

he clears his throat pointlessly, “um… something is over there…” he says, voice wavering despite his want to seem fine.

you have to bite your lip in order to hold back your laughter. you walk over, kneeling at the shavings.

he whined out a small, “ahh!!!” as he closed his eyes and turned away, only hearing you reach inside. you pull out what looked to be a kaleidoscope. you decide to have some fun.

“i got it,” you mutter, and he slowly turns back towards you. “wait what the… AHHHHH!!!!” you start screaming in faux terror when you lifted it up to look through it, throwing it across the cage. taehyun, despite his fear, rushes up next to you, holding your cheeks in his palms and squishing them together slightly.

“are you okay?” he asked, nervousness obvious in his boba eyes.

you shake your head and pout dramatically, “you look and see!!” you insist.

he sighs, pressing a kiss to your forehead and slowly going up to the kaleidoscope as though it would reach out and bite him. he brings it up to his eye, and tilts his head.

“there’s nothing?” he remarks in tiny english, to which you grow genuinely confused at. you were being dramatic, yes, but before you saw a beautiful design with letters and numbers throughout.

“what?” you walk up, looking through it. and again, darkness. you slowly lower it from your eye, bringing a hand to cover your mouth in shock. “oh my god i broke it.”

“huh?”

“TYUN I WAS BEING DRAMATIC SO I COULD SCARE YOU BUT OH MY GOD I BROKE IT.”

he stares at you in disbelief, before letting out a few giggles and looking up at one of the cameras in the room.

“can we still complete the escape room?” he asked, scratching the back of his head as he ignored your cackling.

they only hear a sigh, before being promptly kicked out of the building.

long story short: next time, just ask your beautiful boba eyed boyfriend to take you bowling. he’d still embarrass himself, but at least the props will stay intact.

comment, dm, or ask to be added to the taglist!

requests are open for both enhypen and txt!! ask to your hearts content :3

don’t forget your daily click to help palestine! (it’s completely free and just one click!)

[chrliekclly]

if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

[taxes-evasion]

OMG HIII im so excited for a creepypasta writer :3 may i please request you write for hoodie nd masky, reader also being a proxy!!!! it could be general hcs or whatevs, up to you!! if you dont want to do this req, its ok, if u want me to req smthn else u can always pm me

HIII and thank you so much! I hope I complied with your request (sorry if I didn't).

Characters included: Reader (as proxy), Slenderman (named sometimes as Boss), Masky and Hoodie + mention of other proxies.

Small Warnings: mention of kidnapping, mention of dizziness, actions of light bullying, mention of broken bones, deep cuts, bruises, killing and curse words. Proxies are not kind toward newbie at all :(

⚠️Writer's Notices⚠️: I think I expanded the request without intending to? I'm not sure about that. I just like to give a lot of informations about the characters, so I also put a very light backstory of the Reader. I hope this doesn't bother you and, of course, if you wish, you can skip everything and go to the part that interests you the most. I'm not judging. Please enjoy!

𝑀𝐴𝑆𝐾𝑌 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐻𝑂𝑂𝐷𝐼𝐸 𝑊𝐼𝑇𝐻 𝐴 𝑃𝑅𝑂𝑋𝑌 𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐷𝐸𝑅

HOW DID YOU BECOME A PROXY?

You are probably in contact with kids/young adults who saw Slenderman;

Maybe a babysitter or a psychiatrist;

The fact is that you will never encounter proxies initially;

It is very important for Slenderman to decide for himself his servants;

Toby had once brought a girl into the mansion unbeknownst to Boss... Let's say she stayed for a short time;

Of course, Toby doesn't remember her anymore;

One day someone tells you about this strange, tall and thin man who appears in their dreams and in the woods;

However, one day you were normally on your way home when you started to feel dizzy;

And... surprise! Shortly afterwards you were in a dark office without any kind of light, forced to listen to a faceless man;

You don't remember much about how you get there but your attention, of course, is not centered on that small detail;

BUT WHY WERE YOU RECRUITED BY SLENDERMAN?

Most likely because you have a very good intellect and you reason efficiently;

The Big Boss really needs proxies like that;

Not an athletic person? DON'T WORRY! Slenderman already knows everything about you and what type of training you need, he already comes up with a training program just for you!

(Be grateful and don't try to run away, this tired old man ain't got no time to come and haunt you) :(

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

One surprise after another, apparently! (actually, you could easily imagine what is about to happen);

You are entrusted to some proxies who will take you under their "protective" wing;

These proxies are: Masky, Hoodie, and Toby!

But mainly Masky and Hoodie since they are the only ones who have actually done any training when they arrived at the mansion;

Toby isn't very present because he doesn't care much and would still struggle to have an initial relationship given his Antisocial Personality Disorder;

But don't worry! He'll get used to you soon!

HOW DO MASKY AND HOODIE BEHAVE TOWARDS YOU?

They are slightly heartless bitches :(

(they're actually "somehow" nice to you but not too much);

I mean they would help you with training but make fun of you whenever they can;

This mainly Masky;

Hoodie simply giggles meanly and nods;

DON'T LET THESE "INSTRUCTORS" OF YOURS FIND OUT THAT YOU'RE SENSITIVE OR THAT YOU CRY EASILY!

(This is honestly me);

I say this for your own good, really;

If Masky notices a sniffling or shining eyes from tears that would like to fall... you will find out what hell is;

You will no longer know what dignity is...

"Awwww, don't tell me our little newbie is going to cry, right?" it may be the phrase you'll hear the most;

Masky will basically yell it in the presence of ALL the residents of the mansion just to give you a reason to cry more;

"Come on Masky, can't you see that the frail little thing here is shaking? Give them some personal space."

Another reality revealed, but this time it's Hoodie's fault;

He probably won't yell it like Masky, but he'll still say it in a higher-than-average tone of voice;

BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY VERY BADASS?

If they notice that you are actually very neutral and don't care about their nasty comments, they will simply stop;

After all, it's no fun if there are no reactions;

Basically, they will just give you the advice you need to improve;

However, you may also have a short fuse!

Maybe you shouldn't point it out, you might unintentionally push yourself further, and since Masky also has a short fuse, you could start a fight with him;

If there's Hoodie nearby he'll stop Masky before killing you (but you'll have some deep cuts, bruises and, at worst, broken bones);

However, in the absence of Hoodie/other proxies, you will be killed without much scruples;

Butttt... consider yourself lucky because usually Hoodie and Masky are together all the time, either for tasks and because they have established a good relationship and don't spend much time with the other residents;

Above all they are good instructors;

They know when you've reached your limit and will stop you if they see you're going too far;

They will give you advice and plan a diet if they see that it is necessary;

It could have been worse, couldn't it?

WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE DURING TRAINING?

As said before, they would certainly help you a lot;

Both with advice and by encouraging you to keep going;

(they will become more and more familiar with this as time goes on);

However, I like to imagine that Hoodie does the exercises with you, both to keep fit and to be an example for you;

Masky observes the two of you, smoking his cigarettes;

In some cases he will join you;

(he made a bet on who does the most running laps with Hoodie);

"You know, Y/N, Masky has never been able to beat me in a running challenge", Hoodie usually makes fun of Masky;

"For fuck's sake, just shut up!" and Masky responds in a bad way;

While they may seem quite calm while training you, don't forget that they are professional assassins;

You don't really want to see them when they have to torture/kill someone;

But one day, for sure, you're going to see that because, ops!, from now on you are a proxy;

Good luck with that!

Okay, that's all about our two favorite proxies!

I really have to write headcanons about their backstories because I've honestly always wanted to do that.

I hope you enjoyed this!

♡

[obscureother]

🌑 ˚x'˙ intro. . ??

Hello. . !! im new to tumblr, so sorry if wonky things happen while im setting this up. im still trying to figure things out guys-

i lurk on other accounts for general content but im closeted n shy so i made this one to yell about things instead so i don’t expose myself to people i know lolol

if you know or find other profiles i own, i request you not expose it for those reasons before im comfortable to.

so this is just an f/o blog/journaling. . thing. I'm not entirely sure what content will be here, but it will be centered around f/os, self-shipping, and its just to give me a place to yell about the people that live in my/your brain rent-free and know they don’t exist but we pretend they do anyway for comfort reasons and serotonin, dopamine, uhh what other things feel good and ok??

some of it will be for you if I happen to think of something, other times it is for me to explode over my fixation f/os!!

youre also welcome to come yell about your f/os if you just need someone to talk to them about!! dont think i know em?? COME OVER and INTRODUCE THEM. you can come in DMs, asks, or however you want to!! id be happy to know your f/o or listen to you talk about them if no one else will :00

This is a comfort blog to me, so there wont be any room for meanness or intended offenses here. Dont come to me with troublesome things or somehow twist/morph my content into something its not, we're just here to have a cool time with our fictional people, bro. . :((

ok who r you tho:

To be honest, I don’t have a name or something to go by as of posting this, I might get one later or just make a new comment all fancy for the pin. . For now you can just call me whatever you deem good or just go off my blog/username!! Don’t be mean tho. i may take one you guys think of or figure it out on my own.

they/them

im 21 yo. (if youre a minor, i dont mind you coming to say hello, but do look below the other stuff content for what you need to look out for. you should also know some of you goofy kiddos have energies i dont know how to respond to sometimes, so dont worry if i get awkward or something, its not your fault lolol.)

im in college, so forgive me if im slow, im also just not on tumblr very often :v i dont ghost people on purpose i swEaR-

i might post my f/os on a whole list, idk yet, but theyll prolly be mentioned sometimes to the very least. you can def ask of them tho!! (edited: i made an f/o list if you want to see them.)

i dont know if ill post content of my own f/os or me/my sona for them, but it could be there.

i dont mind sharing f/os!! id love to yell about them together. if you dont like that, then its ok!! i either wont talk about them with you so you can be their person when we talk of them, or you can just block/not interact. ill be sad i dont get to meet you, but its ok.

other stuff:

Nothing explicit/detailed will normally be posted. but: The worst there will be is just being hormonally silly from kind of "rrr ovaries go brr, chew on theM-" energy of my f/os. i will try to create a tag to mark it with so you can exclude honky content if you want or need to later, tho. from what i know, you can "block" tags. . so i think that will work if you like the other goofy stuff on the blog??

(edited: I DID IT, I DID THEM, LOOK: 🌑obscure tags list for the obscure blog )

NSFW talk can be in DMs, tho.

DO NOT come to me with those concepts if youre a minor tho, oh dear GOD. honky grown-up talk is not for you goofy child-folk.

LGBTQ+ friendly!! im nonbinary and love everybody. youre ok too. 💙

i do roleplay sometimes, but only in dms n please dont go exposing our roleplays to others. . i would be very not comfy :"0

if you want to roleplay, you can dm me to ask but i dont have to say yes or i might not be able to. im slow too dfsdf=

i may or may not make a side blog once i figure out how to do stuff, but know that until then, im going to just post whatever on this one til i know how to do things on tumblr lolol.

forgive me if some of my content gets deleted, edited, whatever as we go. like i said, this whole thing is very new to me and its not very organized for now. its just there. its gonna get wonky over here on my side for a bit.

• tiny bat gif •

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Hey hun!! I was wondering if we could get more split personality Ghost/Simon Riley's x reader because you absolutely slay at writing that and I think it's an interesting concept to explore. (Don't feel obligated to answer this request or rush to anything this is just a little idea) anyways love ya boo. I hope you have an amazing day sending lots of love your way 💗💗💗

Lєт мє ℓσνє уσυ αηуωαу

Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn! reader

summary: Simon never puts on his mask when he is at home with you. But as you enter your shared apartment, you’re greeted with Ghost instead of Simon.

warning: angst, fluff

-> I‘m sorry this took me so long :/ I‘m back now tho! Took a break for my mental health and I‘m better now :))🫶🏻🫶🏻 <-

I literally love you so much, you have no idea. I‘m gonna attack you with online hugs so beware and DONT REJECT MY HUGS (and kisses xoxo). 💗💖💕💞💞💘💖

I also think the Simon/Ghost concept is interesting. Like Simon could be the CUTEST boyfriend and person in general but as soon as he puts on his mask he is COLD. Like you have never met such a cold person. He probably never wears his mask at home and when he does, he probably feels overwhelmed and feels like he needs protection from Ghost instead of his significant other. Poor baby :( Wish I could hug him ☹️☹️

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

"Siiiii, I‘m home!" you say loudly as you let your bag fall from your shoulder. Finally, another day done. Today was a pretty tough day at work. The clients were all rude and you were constantly stressed. And now, all you need is your Simon to hug you tightly and do nothing.

But instead of Simon greeting you, you were greeted by Ghost. And this can only mean one thing: Simon needs protection from Ghost again. The sight of seeing him with the mask in your shared home broke your heart. It makes you wonder why he needs the protection of Ghost. He has you. In those cases, you’re the one protecting him. It’s you he always goes to when he isn’t feeling well. Not Ghost.

"What happened?" you asked calmly as you make your way towards him. He doesn’t reply which breaks your heart any further. "Love, please talk to me…"

"There is nothing to talk. Go to sleep." he coldly replies, causing you to take a few steps back. But he and you both now you don’t give up that easily.

"Sim-" you get interrupted by Simon, but this time his voice is so harsh and suddenly everything crashes inside you. "Ghost! Ghost is standing in front of you! Not Simon" he snaps.

You don’t know why but you can feel tears building in the corner of your eyes. You’re not emotional usually. But everything build up inside you. Firstly, today you got yelled by your boss because he thought it was you doing something wrong even though it wasn’t you. Then it was just you doing your job and everyones else’s. Then it was the customers being absolute jerk towards to you. And you aren’t doing well either. But still you’re standing and there for everyone else. And you’re also just a human.

You decided to just leave him alone and go take a shower and then cry silently, so he doesn’t hear you and see how much it affected you.

"You know Ghost. If you just open your eyes, you‘d see how beautiful life can be sometimes. And maybe you‘d see how much you’re hurting me." you say and leave him standing alone in the living room.

~

As you sit in the shower you let yourself have 5 minutes to cry.

Life has been very tough lately and you can’t find a way to escape this hellhole. There are so many things you want to see and so many things you want to explore. But sometimes you feel like just giving up. But you know giving up isn’t an option because you know you can’t leave Simon alone. This man would feel guilty and fall into endless pain. But not only him, also you want to reach your goal. You have so many goals for your life and you can’t just give up on them.

As you let the final tears fall down your wet face, you take a deep breath before you step out of the shower and get ready for bed.

Maybe you shouldn’t talk to Simon Ghost today. You know how it will end. It will always end up with him taking a walk outside and you crying in your bed.

As you slide into your sheets and try to not think about anything right now, you hear the door opening and closing immediately after. Not so long after you feel Simon‘s bedside sink and you don’t know if you should turn to look at him.

"I‘m sorry baby" this time Simon says. When ghost talks to you, he always calls you by your name, not your pet name. Not even your nickname.

You don’t respond and just lay there. Soon enough you can feel Simons arms around your body and his touch is sending chills down your spine. His touch is so calming and so magical, you sometimes don’t know how he can do that.

"I scared Ghost off" yup it’s definitely your Simon talking to you right now. "I wanna lay here with my girl and talk about her day" he adds.

And after saying that, you just couldn’t resist. You turned to face him and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. Your broken heart starts to heal because whenever your in his arms, you feel like Simon scares off your problems. His arms make you feels safe and protected. He makes you forget about your problems.

His one hand rests at the back of your head and he leaves kisses on your forehead. "You’re home now. Rest baby. We can talk tomorrow,hm?" he suggests with a sweet and caring voice and you just nod.

With that, you fall asleep in your Simons arms. Maybe Ghost let him get out and be with you. But you don’t care right now. You‘ll care tomorrow. Right now, there are no problems and there is just you and him. Nothing and no one else.

Just you and Simon.

[silviaflowers]

˚ʚ♡ Hey, I'm Silvia Flowers! ♡

˚ʚ♡ Hi I'm Silvi! ♡

She/her prns!!

Im a little multifandom gremlin (fandom list below)

Autism Suspect™ (self-diagnosed)

Minor

Young Digital artist :)

I'm a Christian, but I won't mention it much.

Here's my carrd, strawpage and linktree!

I LOVE MY QPP !!!! @capt-marty

If theres anything you wanna avoid, I tag with "___ tw" for generally triggering subjects! Shoot me an ask if you see something specific you'd like me to tag <3

(if we're moots, im completely fine with making "x dont look" tags!)

(fandom art requests and commissions are both open!)

(previous pinned post)

˚ʚ♡ Tags! ♡

#silvia flowers is every original post of mine

#silviart is my art tag

#silvi speaks is my talking tag

#silvi answers is my ask answer tag

#silvi sings is me yelling song lyrics into the tumblr void

#gift bouquet is for art people have made for me/of my content

#userbox rb is for userboxes i relate to

#floral lore is for my OC lore

#silvia flowers hall of fame is for my most popular posts! (namely TBH papyrus)

˚ʚ♡ Fandoms! ♡

(ꕥ means Im deeper in the fandom!)

ꕥ Undertale/Deltarune

ꕥ LEGO Monkie Kid

ꕥ The Ghost and Molly McGee

ꕥ Welcome to Dreamworld

Five Nights at Freddy's

Digimon Tamers

Warrior Cats

Sanders Sides

The Owl House

Spooky Month

Murder Drones

Garten of Banban (chief idk what to link to for this one)

Fool's Gold DND Campaign

The Amazing Digital Circus

˚ʚ♡ Sideblogs! ♡

@silviartflowers - my art rb blog!

@mayihavesomeicecreamplease - my spam reblog sideblog!

@djtether-selfship - my selfship lmk blog!

- inactive sideblogs -

@blackjack-bullets - my blackjack (undertale yellow) ask/rp blog!

@edenandthad - my first murder drones rp blog!

@qthedissassemblydrone - my second murder drones rp blog!!

@maketheblorbsobrawl - my (finished) tournament of pacifist blorbos!

@eclipseaucomic - my FNAF comic blog! (currently on pause)

˚ʚ♡ PSA ♡

I do not have a DNI, and this blog isn't for controversial debates. All I'm going to say is that I don't support people who hate or harm others, such as racists, sexists, nazis, predators/MAPs, etc.

[I ALSO DO NOT SUPPORT PROSHIP. I refuse to get into discourse about it, but I choose to block people who are proshippers. You are NOT welcome here.]

If you see me reblog something from someone who's confirmed as one of the above groups, please send me an ask or DM about it and I'll remove the reblog!

I encourage everyone to be themselves and don't participate in cringe culture.

If you're here to start drama, please leave.

I hope you have a fun time on my blog :)

[Dividers by @/raaawrrxd]

[sttoru]

im not sure how to request as this is my first time asking! but if you have the time or if you want to in general, could you please write about an anxious fem!reader using public transport and getting her bus card declined because her money didnt go through fast enough? i had an embarrassing encounter a while ago… the driver yelled at me to get off, and i SWEAAARRRR i heard people laugh 🙁 id love it if she calls satoru crying for help and him dropping everything to come and get her!

also the worst thing about what happened to me was that there were guys from my school on the bus watching it happen 🥹 if u dont want to write about this, thats totally cool! have a good day/night!

THAT IS SO MEAN OF THE BUS DRIVER WHATTTTTT 😿 . im sorry that happened to u bby some people are mean for no reasonnnnnn trust them boys will forget it sooner or later anyway

but i’ll see if i can write something like that / combine it w/ another req <3

[walkindeath]

#ＷＡＬＫＩＮＤＥＡＴＨ : a private roleplay side blog for a resist dark urge. follows back from @crimesought.

Rules and muse info under the cut!

001 :// this blog is intended for 21+ individuals and will not interact with anyone under 18 that being said there will be nsfw and i wont even consider that unless its with someone 21+ and i have written with them for a while.

002 :// By following you are acknowledging that you know there are going to be dark themes and blood. Such is the way with Baldur's Gate or DND in general.

003 :// i would rather you hard block me than soft block me. I don't need a reason just curate your space but it keeps me from thinking I accidently unfollowed.

004 :// if I do anything to upset you please just come to me. I would rather talk about it like adults and we are humans who make mistakes.

I would rather learn from them than be blindsided.

005 :// Feel free to reblog memes from me! I don't mind. I only request that only mutuals send memes!

006 :// Feel free to yell at me anytime to plot! I open to anything!

if our muses don't mesh then we can still chat too! I always like to hear about other peoples characters!

007 :// Writting speed will depend on the length of replies and the amount of muse I have!

I have a full time job and i personally like to queue my asks and replies. So if you send something and i dont reply to it right away? its probably in the queue. If you annoy me to reply I probably won't do it at all.

008 :// I do ask that you don't double or triple space replies to me! it makes it hard for me to read!

009 :// Open to most ships! I just don't want them to be assumed? Some plotting is appreciated! I am open to anything as long as there is some kind of chemistry. All ships will be in their own universe unless specified.

011 :// it shouldn't need to be said but this blog doesn't support racism or racists.

no godmodding

don't be a dick

full name. Cade REDACTED

race. Human (Bhaalspawn)

age. 27

gender + pronouns. Transmale. He / his

orientation. Pansexual

class. Zealot Barbarian

occupation. REDACTED

current home. Traveling

hair. Shoulder length grey/mauve hair

eyes. grey

height. 5'11"

build. Muscular

dominant hand. left

scars. Autopsy scar, and the scars on his face.

tattoo(s). A spider web on his left arm, absolute symbol and dagger on his right arm, hand tattoos, and a skull back tattoo

piercing(s). none at the moment

memories a fog. blood on his hands. Cade is still learning his past. (this will be updated as I play)

PERSONALITY TRAITS: Nothing is more important than life, and I never leave anyone in danger. I'm easily startled, but I'm not a coward.

BOND: A great evil dwells within me. I will fight against it and the world's other evils for as long as I can.

IDEAL: Balance. I strive to counter the deeds of someone for whom I feel responsible.

FLAW: I've done unspeakable evil and will do anything to prevent others from finding out.

[freyito]

I’m so sorry if this is rude, but do you ever plan to update your queue post? I think some of the stuff on it might be stuff you’ve posted, but I’m not sure

ik u said to ignore this anon but ACTUALLY im gonna use this to my advantage. this isn't me like yelling at you lol just so you know. just to reiterate a couple things

the first is i am missing a couple asks on my queue post and i do essentially queue everything the minute i see i got an ask or i get an idea. normally i delete them off my queue or on my pinned post when i finish them (unless they were never on there which kinda happens a lot ((fics and ideas that just. hit me and dont let go)), but i do post a lot late at night and normally when that happens i update my queue and my masterlist the next day over cause i am too sleepy!!!!!

second is since im getting a lot more followers (like a lot more than i thought id get for such self indulgent pieces lol and even as a m! writer in general tbh) i want everyone to know what i said above!!!! BUT ALSO i dont rlly have a set schedule and i try and write when i can. i did JUST get a job so im still kinda learning to balance my writing and stuff like that since they haven't really given me a consistent schedule. so lowkey half the time i'll be like "new fic tomorrow". and then there is NOT a new fic that day. sometimes i just get rlly excited to post a fic and then i space out for a while, that happens a lot when youve got mad adhd and like sooo many things you can do and want to do!! that you just . do nothing.

i also tend to be overambitious (those who have read my fics since i first posted know lol and also my moots) so i'll like load up my queue with all these ideas and then a month later i'll delete some cause i like. totally forgot.

i also have had a couple of gripes with asks i get... which i hope i dont sound rude T_T. LIGHTNING ROUND THO!!!

i've had a couple of anons (before AND now) drop essentially the same ask (same anons), and i know i don't outright say which ask is which cause i try my best to give fics genuine titles, but just know i dont rlly delete asks !!!!!! unless they are against the rules

ON THAT NOTE!!! i urge everyone to pleaaaase read my rules waghhh!!!! i've gotten a lotta asks about a pregnant reader (specifically!!!!). i'm not here to yuck anyones yum at all but i myself am uncomfy with writing pregnancy (simply cause its a huge fear of mine lol). genuinely that is like the ONLY rule people gloss over (granted i need to update my rules uber soon). that doesn't mean i wont write stuff where reader and character adopt kids or whatever, just no pregnancy nothing like that

i've also had anons/people in my inbox ask "when will x fic come out" or ""check up"" on fics. please know that i am working on everything on my own time!!!! i try my very best to drop fics in order of my queue and i do prioritize requests!!!! but there are days where suddenly i am not feeling an ask or a fic i'm writing so to avoid burn out and fatigue and just overall producing a soulless piece i work on a different piece.

i'm also currently switching from headcanons & drabbles to mainly oneshots, cause i've just had a lot more fun writing bigger and proper pieces!!! that doesn't mean i won't write hcs/drabbles when i see fit ofc, but due to this lowkey like 80% of my asks went from "haha silly little drabble" to full on oneshots (and some even full on fics!). so my writing and ""production"" time has been significantly increased.

also another thing of note: over time i've kinda just slowed down if not halted completely on writing fics for fem readers... the Robin one will most likely be my last x Fem! reader simply cause it feels odd for me to write fem reader all of a sudden. mainly cause i am . a boy lol and i did start this account to write for male readers (cause especially after coming out several years ago it was just so hard to find x male readers yk??). I won't be deleting x fem reader requests cause lowkey they are all kinda bangersss so most of the time I will default to gn reader or switch to male reader as i see fit..

also lowkey circling back to the queue and masterlist in general, all my masterlists have a date at the very bottom for when i updated them o7

That was a LOT I AM SO SORRY.... but lowkey had to get a couple things out there T_T i think it's kinda cause i just switched up on mk and went into hsr so fast so my asks def have a different vibe in general lol...

[gongedtornado]

updated introduction cuz i’m cool like that.

hiii welcome to my little hidey hole where i post art and scream all the time :3

be sure to scroll to the bottom or at least read the DNI + things i need tagged. thankssss

you can call me any of the following: silas / yarida / goose / kazzy

i use he / it / any + neos. though please try to refrain from using exclusively they/them on me. not that i really mind but i like a bit of variation :3.

20 and mixed filipino babeyyy !!

artist and professional shitposter . you can count on me to start a silly little doodle as a joke and put in wayyy too much effort into it lol. you can usually find these posts under the tag #shartposting

BE WARNED - I MAY POST BODY HORROR FROM TIME TO TIME.

I YELL AND SCREAM AND SWEAR A LOT. ALSO I’M NOT WELL IN THE HEAD. my textposts for when i scream is #kazzy caws. my more vent related tags will be under #kazzy complains. (feel free 2 mute that. no hard feelings)

PRETTY PLEEEEAAASE use tone indicators when talking to me. i can’t read tones past text for the life of me

i’m incredibly socially awkward and typically busy, overwhelmed, or generally burnt out. i promise i’m not ignoring you or hate you or any of that- i’m just trying to get by lol.

IF YOU NEED SOMETHING TAGGED DON’T BE SCARED TO ASK . i’ll obvs tag things like eye contact, g0re, etc.

this is a big one BUT IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG PLEASE TELL ME AND DON’T BE VAGUE ABOUT IT THANKSS. /srs

here’s more of my tags and whatever

#kazzy caws - text posts where i scream my thoughts into the void

#kazzy complains - text posts where i complain about shit

#kazzy scribbles - art posts

#shartposting - shitposts

I LIKE PATAPON A NORMAL AMOUNT. (<- HAS BEEN FIXATED ON THE SERIES FOR OVER 2 YEARS.)

little shop of horrors

paper mario

plant related characters (ie: audrey ii, petey piranha, potbelly from msm, etc)

stone story rpg (PLEASE PLAY IT ITS SO GOOD)

all tomorrows

DND (I FUCKIMG LOVE DND BRO)

just some things i would prefer of they were tagged for the sake of my sanity. just use “silas don’t look.” or “sdl” work fine lmao

roblox doors game (more specifically the visuals pleeeeaase)

generally upsetting or uncanny images. especially ones with heavy eye contact.

knack (playstation game)

posts with transphobia in them

h*zbin/h*lluva content + anything v*vziepop related

i don’t feel like making a specific section for this one but here’s some other things i’d advise you to avoid doing around/to me. thaaanks

do NOT refer to me as “smol”, “smol bean”, a “cinnamon roll”. anything of that at all. (if it’s for a joke go for it, but dont make it repetitive or a habit.)

do not refer to me as a child either- especially if you’re younger than me. i might sound a little whiny here but it genuinely rubs me the wrong way and i actually just hate it all around. 😃 don’t treat me like a child- in fact just avoid infantilizing me. please

please don’t call me “sister” or “mom”. i’m being so serious.

don’t come into my dms if i don’t know you- asking for art requests and such. i’ll just straight up block you.

(trigger warning for s/a mentions here.) if you joke about s/a or find it funny to make fun of such- just block me. i don’t want you here and you disgust me and so many others. thanks

i’ll also include the ask to follow below the dni stuff. dni/dnf will be red while ask to follow will be orange

basic DNI criteria

pr*ship/zo*philes

dream supporters

fetishizes trans/nonbinary people

ai ‘artists’ (lmao imagine not being able to pick up a pencil)

those who continuously use the excuses “it’s just fiction”, “it’s just a drawing”, and “erm it’s the internet. things happen” yall are annoying as fuck

She Who Will Not Be Named (you know who you are.)

He who will not be named (I don’t care if you want to make ammends. I don’t want to waste my time on your stupid loser baby ass.)

YTTD (Your Turn to Die) fandom

those with the intentions of befriending for free art

v*vziepop dickriders.

under 15.

if i generally just get bad vibes from you, i’ll just block. lol

applying this to the he/she who will not be named- if you’re thinking “is it me?” then it’s likely not you. /srs

ASK TO FOLLOW

irls. how and why did you find my tumblr huh? huh? do you wanna fight. do you wanna go to the dennys parking lot and fight there? huh? weenie (/JOKE)

h*zbin/h*lluva enjoyers. current mutuals are fine- i would REALLY REALLY prefer if y’all asked before following first?? i know not everyone in the fandom isn’t awful, but it’s just for my own sake. 🙏🙏

people that primarily go by the names “clyde”, “nadia”, “aspen”, “azzy”, or “marcel”. im sure yall are nice people or whatever but its moreso for the sake of my sanity :3. i also likely wont interact with you much but its whatever

dms are usually open unless i specify not to dm me.

commissions are closed off for now

i don’t do art requests. LOL sorry

art trades are always good! i take a long while on them though. srry

tagging/mentioning in a post is fine. kinda the same rules with the dms.

rp is kinda ehhh. i kinda only do it with closer friends tyyyy

okay cool you made it to the bottom thanksss enjoy ur stay lol

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 3: Hey Gringo

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

—

warnings: ayyy!! none this time!! unless you wanna count Highly Disrespectful Thoughts ❤️ tho!!! the flashbacks are shuri, heads up for anyone who is a big baby (like me) and still crying over WF. also (shocker) bucko angst/panic attacks

song: it KALEO time!! istg there are golden oldies and hippie classics on this intended playlist, we just havent gotten to them yet. this choice is mega self-indulgent on my end ngl, buuuuut thats the whole fic in general lbr (side note: every time i write Angy Ava, i want you to imagine the vocal intensity of jefferson airplane’s lead singer, grace slick)

the timing of this chapter could NOT have been better with the probably-russian hackers knocking out ao3 that long. i mean it dude, im pretty sure the universe had a good chuckle over this one bc i sure as shit had to sit here and go “youre pullin my leg bud”

also now feels like a good time to mention, for absolutely no reason in particular (definitely not bc of Bucky being a Huge Simp this chapter), that i hc bucky as a dom with service top leanings. i just didnt wanna give the impression that reader is dom for this and accidentally get anyones hopes up with no payoff. i try to avoid that as much as i can bc god knows i drop Big Honkers on y’all every damn chapter, id hate for you to get all the way to the end of this and not get your cookie, y’know? (i am, ofc, down to write mega sub bucky for smut-shot requests)

also remember when i mentioned giving ava a HANDFUL of physical details for writing fuel? 🌝 (ur gonna think im funny rlly soon, dw)

anyways if you dont have adhd, good luck and god speed with the idiots thinkin abt each other in this chapter ❤️ im so sorry in advance 🥺😔

—

Febuary 17th, 2015

"Good morning, Sh—"

"Have you left your worthless husband yet?" Shuri impatiently taps a finger against her elbow, where her arms are crossed over her chest. 

She watches Ava sigh on the other end of the vidcall. The woman looks too tired. She needs rest. Shuri wants to stab Alec all over again. She's going to make a new, self-lacing, possibly electrified dagger just for the occasion. "I know you're just trying to—"

"We can come to get you. I will send T'Challa. You must promise me that you will have him get me something from Washington." Shuri raises a stern finger, pointing it directly at the camera. "Do not let him pick it out himself—"

"Shuri, honey, I love you with all my heart, but please—"

"I want you to pick it. The furniture in your office is ridiculous; I want something like that."

A smile far too small pulls at the corners of Ava's lips. Her smile used to move freely, and it will do so again if Shuri has any say in the matter. Which she does. "Well, thank you, I work very hard to keep it ridiculous. Now—"

"It will make me think of you whenever you are not around to make fun of my brother with me. My mother will get the lawyers you need to start your divorce—"

"I—sweetheart, please, it's been a very long night—"

"It is the afternoon where you are. You have not even had breakfast, have you? Of course not. You are busy doing the work while Alec—"

"Shuri!" Ava puts a hand over her eyes and takes an unsteady breath in. "I'm sorry. This is—it's been a long night. I didn't mean to yell at you—"

"You need to start yelling much more, Ava. Aim it at your worthless husband while you tell him you are leaving," Shuri argues, entirely fed up with how the doctor allows the spineless dickhead to make her miserable. "T'challa will remove him for you while you stay here with us."

Alec—she refuses to call him Ryder; the man does not deserve to have taken the doctor's name—leans into the camera view, his expression bored. Dismissive. Shuri wants to smash his wrinkling, greasy face in with her fist. "While I appreciate the offer, your majesty, my wife and I can handle our private life alone."

Shuri glares back at him, one of her eyebrows hiked as far up as she can comfortably get it. "Do you really think being aware of your presence on this call will deter me from reminding my friend that you are a demon?" She looks pointedly at Ava, who's still covering her eyes. "He is a demon. A pasty, rude demon."

"Alec is going to shut the fuck up now, I promise." The fingers over Ava's eyes pull in until she's pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. She looks as if she's fighting off a migraine. She probably is. And it is Alec's fault. "That way, we can get this over with, and I can finally get some sleep—"

"Which you need and are not getting enough of." The words slip out before Shuri can stop them. 

Ava's shoulders deflate slightly. Her hand drops, and she attempts another smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making Shuri feel a pang of guilt. "No, I'm not. But I will, just as soon as we finish the basic adaptation matrix. I promise."

Ava always encourages her to speak her mind, no matter what. Sometimes it gets her into trouble. She is not looking to berate her favorite Canadian; she loves leaving the vidcomm between their labs on. The open connection is a comforting window into the outside, one that lets Shrui indulge in any question or raving that passes through her mind. 

Alec is a poison in her friend's life, and Shuri will not back down from reminding her of that. But mother and Nakia have sat with her over this, explaining that sometimes, an abused heart will cling to what hurts it. They have to be supportive while Ava works through this. She's getting there. Just not nearly fast enough for Shuri's patience.

Father has been reminding them all that Alec is a risk, given what he knows. Trusting Ava means trusting her for the duration, and they can't go back now. If she says she is handling the issue of separating the man from her work, they have to allow her room to do that. But T'Challa has been ordered to keep close, or at the very least, ready to go.

As much as she despises Alec, Shuri does not wish to see Ava hurt in this. Not any more than necessary. She is also not interested in trying to control her friend the way her mother sometimes tries to control her. It is infuriating. 

So, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she lets some of the fight leave her. For the sake of Ava, not the pasty demon. "I have the latest build ready for transfer." 

"You're sure you've secured the connection on your end?" Alec has the audacity to question, even outside of the frame. "I'm not interested in spending my week chasing traces of this—"

"Do I look as if I will hesitate to strike you, colonizer?!"

—

"I'm just saying, Humpty Dumpty."

"Fuck off," Bucky wheezes at the billionaire, compressing the towel he grabbed from his new medkit against his ribs. Why he expected to make it through his first mission back without having to crack it open, he's not entirely sure now that he's sitting in the hindsight. Getting shot today was, if he's honest with himself, entirely predictable. It's his luck, after all. 

"We let you out of the house again for five minutes, and you've already broken yourself." Tony shakes his head as he tsk's, making Bucky roll his eyes lazily. "What's Ryder going to think? If you keep this up, you'll give the woman a complex about draining your mojo."

"She's going to think I throw myself in front of armor-piercing rounds for idiots that don't notice when they're being shot at." The mention of Ava brings the doctor's smiling face to the forefront of his mind. Bucky leans back against the Quinjet's co-pilot seat, letting his eyes fall closed. 

He could take care of this latest injury himself. That's what he usually does. Thanks to the serum, all he has to do is keep the wound clean for a few hours while his body stitches itself back together. Nothing's broken, and he'd be in much more pain if anything were punctured. Hell, he'd probably be dead already. The fix for this is so easy it'll practically handle itself.

"You always get so cranky after you've played the hero." He hears Tony kick his feet up on the Quinjet's main controls. "Take a breather. Maybe a bow or two. Believe it or not, it's possible to accept a compliment now and then."

"Grandstand more often, got it."

Ava's probably going to hear about today's incident now that Bucky thinks about it. If anything, Steve's going to make sure of it. He doubts she'd guilt him for not being comfortable with an optional trip to medical. They've been having more conversations about boundaries and comfort, and she's been unwaveringly supportive of him moving at his own pace. 

"You don't have to grandstand, you gigantic baby," Natasha chides from between the chairs. Her hand smacks against his shoulder, making Bucky grunt softly. "A whole new world is going to open up for you when you relearn to accept praise."

Tony snorts, long and loud. "Has he reached that stage of modern education yet?"

"I reached that stage of education before you were born, Stark." Bucky's not territorial over his reputation anymore; those days are long since passed. The grand majority of his mojo got left in the 40s. He's just tired of Tony's shit. That's all it is.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Ava might feel bad that he didn't come to her for something like this. He doesn't... want that. He doesn't want her thinking that he doesn't welcome her help or that he doesn't trust it. He... he does. He doesn't just appreciate having the option; he enjoys it. The new routine is a breeze, and his neck feels better than it ever has. At least that he can remember.

"I'm confused," Tony mumbles around a mouthful of snacks. The man never stops eating. "Are we talking about your no-no years, or did you and Rogers hit up underground bars before Germany?"

"I know all his secrets from the vanilla days; they never went to any of the fun ones," Natasha confirms. It's not like Bucky was going to take the verbal bait anyways. Steve still falls for it regularly. 

"I like how you don't deny having the rest of the answer; I feel like it tells me all I can tolerate about the icicles when it comes to this. That's my favorite part about you, Romanoff. You know when I don't need to know, you know?"

His dumbass friends might as well be background noise with Bucky's mind this firmly in the memory of Ava's office. She's been so good to him, especially over this last week while she pushed through all the red tape for him. He'd been expecting it to take an eternity of hounding Steve all by his lonesome, but she got him back in the field in under two weeks. His best friend had actually been kind of pissy about it behind closed doors. For Bucky, it was like getting sprinkles on top of his cake. 

He's been thinking about getting flowers delivered to her lab for the trouble. It feels like too much whenever his thumb hovers over the confirmation button. He's reached the part of staring at the order details four times.

"I'm pretty sure your country doesn't appreciate it as much as you do. They tend to fight cold wars over it."

"Well, yeah, but our country—you see what I did there? That was a pretty funny communism joke. And it works as a reminder for both of us that you're actually an American citizen these days; isn't that wild? Back to the point here, our country fights wars over stuff we do ourselves all the time, so that doesn't feel like a fair reason to dismiss our friendship."

The doctor's forcing him to expand his music library. Her taste there is as scattered as her taste in movies, but she's got some leading themes he's been able to pin down. The 60s and 70s are huge for her, expectedly, and she's got a lot of nostalgia over the 90s. Paige keeps her versed in all things pop, folk, and country, according to her. 

"If I start referring to the US as my country, you people will expect me to do things like register to vote. Or put up wallpaper."

"I don't think anyone's expecting you to be legally allowed to do that. The voting thing, not the wallpaper. In most states. For multiple reasons. Although, the wallpaper might be a good call."

Ava invited him to their absurdly large archive of playlists during his second session. The ones Paige curates are nothing but insanity. Not one of them makes a lick of sense. Bucky decided that he should have expected that, given her Energizer Bunny reputation. Ava's are less scattered; more organized. Soothing for his mind to digest. He's been using them as workout music ever since. And driving music. And general background noise. 

"I don't think I'd know where to start buying wallpaper. Do you even want me putting that shit on your expensive building?"

"Not really, but the idea of walking in on you rolling paste on the living room walls is worth anything it could take to fix them later."

God, she's funny, too. He could listen to the woman's awful, soul-crushing puns and subsequent cackling for hours. He'll never say that to her face, not for as long as he lives, but they've made him feel lighter every morning that he's gone to let her work him over. He's already stolen two of them to torture Sam with. Another thing he's not going to tell her.

"Maybe I should start smaller. Bruce keeps suggesting a car that has legal registration."

"Heeey, that could work. You'll be signing up for mailing lists and bitching about state tax in no time. You know what?" He hears Tony snap his fingers. "We should get you a houseplant. Work you up to having a fish or something."

Alright. Maybe he'll go to Ava. He doesn't want her to think he's trying to blow off her expertise again. Or that he's avoiding her. He's not; he really does like hanging out in her office. Even if it's technically a medical appointment. He's a lot more eager to visit her than his therapists, that's for sure.

"I am not paying taxes," Natasha scoffs. "If you think I'm tying a legal address to my name, you're out of your fucking mind. Moreso than usual."

"You don't think you'd enjoy having a cave to lurk in?"

"What makes you think I don't have one already?"

"I'm talking about a real house, not a safe house."

This injury isn't related to his cybernetics. It's his ribs, well below any of his implants. He's not entirely out of the loop when it comes to what doctors have to do to get their licenses. She no doubt had to pull a lot of hard hours during her residency. Maybe she doesn't want to patch up the tower's notorious grouch every time he takes a hit. But he doubts she'd ever be impolite enough to refuse him walking in.

"I have my space here: bathroom, laundry room, small kitchen. If I haven't bothered decorating that, what makes you think I'll want to do it for an entire house?"

"Aww, come on. Look at Ryder! She's having all kinds of fun making her place as obnoxious as possible. That could be you after a few online shopping sprees."

Bucky's eyes open slowly, his brows drawing in when the second verbal mention of Ava pulls parts of his attention back to the conversation. 

Fuck, not going to medical still leaves the option of her taking offense. Okay. Alright. So, he'll split the difference and go to emergency intake. He's pretty sure she's listed as his surgical contact in the tower now—he can't stomach looking at his own medical file, not even the written records. Any injury this big will get flagged for trauma support, and she'll be notified. Then it's up to her what she wants to do. That feels like a good compromise.

"She's doing that to reclaim it from Alec; that's different. I don't have the same motivation. For me, it's just going to be extra work.

"Who's Alec?" Bucky asks without thinking. If the universe doesn't hate him today, Natasha's just going to assume he's being his usual kind of paranoid.

"She hasn't mentioned him?" Tony sounds surprised. "Alec's her ex-husband."

Ex-husband? She was married? And she's not anymore, meaning she might be—

He shuts down that train of thought immediately. 

Reclaiming the space of her house implies they lived in it long enough to form some heavy memories. She hasn't mentioned having a kid, and she strikes him as the type to bring up something like that pretty fast. So it was just the two of them, most likely.

"People usually don't like talking about the egocentric sack of shit they used to coexist with," Natasha points out. Of course, she already knows about the doctor's history. It's her.

"Bad divorce?" he prods, trying not to sound overly invested in the answer. These assholes will take it as an invitation.

"Oh, the worst," Tony confirms. "Shithead tried fighting her on it tooth and nail. She had to borrow my legal team just to get the guy to fuck off and leave her alone. He even kept her surname after the divorce; can you believe that?"

An uneasy feeling starts to rise in his gut, making Bucky look over at him. Then up at Natasha. "What kind of won't leave her alone are we talking about?"

"Down, fido, my lawyers took care of it. There's no need to start tailing him. Aside from being a self-absorbed asshole that insists they'll," Tony's voice turns scornful as his fingers form air quotes, "work things out with time, he's toothless." 

"She's got concealed carry permits she earned properly if that makes you feel better," Natasha offers up. The thought does help ease the tension building in him. 

He won't read Ava's file, no matter how bad the buzzing gets. But he might check in with JARVIS about her home security. He's noticed her name on the system logs. She, or at least her house, is linked to SHIELD's network despite her general distrust of the organization. He understands the opposing priorities completely.

He caved and read Wyatt's file two nights ago. The buzzing had been building since Ava mentioned him wanting an autograph, and it finally got to be too much. Nothing's lurking there aside from an impressive list of historians from all the fuck over Georgia and Alabama. The kid's got more family than some towns have population. 

Bucky leans forward with a muted groan to change the autopilot's intended LZ of the Avenger's balcony to the entrance hanger for medical. If he's going to grit his teeth through the antiseptic over a couple small holes, he's damn sure not going to haul his ass through half the tower while his ribs leak. His patience has limits, and that's pretty fucking far over the starting line. 

Tony looks over at him with a deep, suspicious frown. Bucky frowns at him right back with the same level of scrutiny. He can feel Natasha staring a hole into the side of his head, even if he can't catch her in his peripherals. He hates both of them with a passion at the moment. He knows what's about to happen—

"Did you just… prioritize your own health," Tony questions like he's baffled by the very idea. His whole upper body turns in the seat as he looks up at Natasha excitedly. "Oh my god. He's doing it. All by himself." He raises a hand to his chest and looks back at Bucky. "They grow up so fast."

It's good that the autopilot is on. If it weren't, Bucky would be tempted to crash them out of spite, mostly because he's sure he'd survive it. "Very funny."

"All it took was a hippie that gives him candy," Natash adds, her voice dripping with smugness. "Who knew."

"Both of you can fuck off." Bucky doesn't like how close she just got to his primary motivation on the first try. Old habits die hard, et cetera. And he hates that he can't tell if she was trying to guess. If he's lucky, which he isn't, she was just making fun of him.

Natasha knows about his visits to the florist's website; he's fucking convinced of it now. He doesn't know how, and he can't outright call her on it. If he does, he could fuck up and make himself right. There is nothing worse than having the Black Widow as metaphorical family. Not even Steve's hovering.

She and Tony harass him for the remainder of the flight. It's not long, mercifully, and he's starting to regret not grabbing something for the doctor. They were in Montreal, of all places, so it would have been fitting. He figures she'll understand once he shows her his side. The train of thought makes him wonder what part of Canada she's originally from. She hasn't brought it up.

His foot is already bouncing by the time he reaches the elevator. He's still got the surgical towel shoved tightly against his ribs. He hopes she gets there fast if she ends up taking the call. The last thing he wants to do right now is sit around in the burn of antiseptic and bleach while he fights off the urge to bolt. 

This is good, Bucky reminds himself as he takes his first few steps into medical. He's sat through plenty of trips to emergency intake. He can handle walking into his first optional one. It's a non-issue. Completely.

When JARVIS informs him that his file and general vital scan have been submitted for intake, the buzzing gets so intense that he almost leaves. The pace of his sergeant walk, as Sam likes to designate it, slows to a crawl. Then he thinks about a doctor with concealed carry permits. One that lets her house be monitored by a government organization she's actively pushing herself to trust. All in an effort to contribute something good to the world. The buzzing eases, and he picks up his pace, headed for the solo observation room JARVIS listed for him.

There's no moment of standing involuntarily from nerves this time. He doesn't have to force himself to sit back down and wait, even though the room smells wrong. His skin is crawling, and he wants nothing more than to put a throwing knife in his hand like a goddamn security blanket. But he doesn't panic. He doesn't try leaving.

Baby steps.

When the door opens, it's devastating. There's no diminutive hippie with UFO-sized glasses smiling at him on the other side of it. It's a guy in a plain white lab coat without artistic stitching, one that Bucky's never met before in his life. He's already squinting down at a tablet, meaning this will be his doctor for the duration.

This was the worst plan he could have possibly conceived. The universe is humbling him for thinking he could get away with something like this without some kind of suffering. He just wanted to make up for being dismissive of her help initially. Now he gets to sit through this. How fucking grand.

"Barnes?" The doctor that's not Bucky's doctor looks up, his heart rate elevating by a few notches. He's putting in a lot of effort to look confident. It's not exactly working. "I'm Dr. Erickson. I'm guessing you're here for the bullet wounds JARVIS detected?"

"Yup." Bucky's not about to volunteer for small talk at the moment. It's a miracle he hasn't jumped off the biobed yet. "Where's Ryder?"

"Your primary is in a staff meeting at the moment." Erickson puts his tablet down on the supply cabinet's main counter. He's already starting to gather what he needs, leaving Bucky to figure out real quick if he's actually willing to do this. "Don't worry; I'll get you sewn up and on your way in no time."

He doesn't want it getting back to Ava that he bailed the moment she couldn't show up. He doesn't want to leave her with the impression that he's only going to take on medical care if it's her; that's not anywhere near fair. The woman is a brain surgeon, not his private physician. He can grow the fuck up and accept help from people that haven't gone through his gauntlet of verification.

"Great," he pushes out, lifting the side of his undershirt to offer an unobstructed view.

It's not great; it's fucking horrendous. The first touch of the new doctor makes the overly physical memory of the buzzing build so high, he can feel it in his teeth. They're not actually rattling in his jaw the way they did back then, he knows that, but it doesn't matter because his body is screaming at him that it's happening.

The first stitch going through his skin makes him want to put his fingers through the doctor's eye sockets. His mind goes over all the ways he can violently put at least ten feet between them without having to get up. Looking back, it's probably good he didn't reach for the throwing knives. He's not unhinged enough to stab someone unprovoked; he's better than that. But they'd have been distracting to his impulse control, that's for sure.

Dr. Handsy is pulling the first suture in tight when the door to the observation room opens again. Bucky doesn't look up, his eyes locked on a random point on the far wall while he focuses on his breathing. He only looks over when a billowing, maroon pant leg enters his peripheral.

Thanks to a bunch of dead Nazi scientists that used to hide out in the mountains of Russia, Bucky Barnes has a trigger in his brain that is entirely out of his control. One that, when activated by his own interest, lets him process his surroundings in a sliver of the time that it should for a human mind. It is exceptionally helpful in the field. 

Watching Ava Ryder walk in, wearing a suede jumpsuit that mercilessly frames her curves, proves to him that having it in the 30s would have gotten him shot by someone's father. Definitely before he left Brooklyn. Or before he got chased out by several fathers banding together with baseball bats. In the time it takes her hand to come off the door handle and make its way to her hip, his mind goes on one hell of a fucking journey.

He already had more than a vague idea of the shape of her before now; he can't help it. Comes with the territory of doing threat assessment for a living. God knows his eyes have slipped down to her chest on a shameful amount of occasions. Her tits are being held up and pushed together fucking beautifully at the moment. Typically, that would hold all of his attention.

But this is the first unobstructed view of her that he's gotten, thanks to the lab coat being nowhere in sight, and good fucking god. Holy fucking shit. Godfuckingdamn.

She's half turned from him at this angle, so he's only getting a side view. That's more than enough to show off an obscenely rounded ass and the cushy thighs it rests on that are going to haunt his fucking dreams. It's bigger than his hands by a margin that's outright glorious. The mental image of his fingers digging into it, of how it would make her skin dip under the pressure, makes his blood race.

He can't spot the outline of any underwear at first. Then her hand makes contact with the jumpsuit, and his eyes pick up on it. Right there, above the top of her finger, pulled up high over her hipbone. There's a thin band leaving an impression in the fabric. An extraordinarily thin band. There is nothing else in sight.

Pulled between Ava's legs, right at this very moment in time, is a strip of fabric that Bucky's tongue would fit against perfectly. Right under that is a taste he's been catching himself wondering about for two weeks now. One good, long drag of his nose. That's all it would take to push in whatever she's picked out for the day and soak it with that taste. He could get it back out from between her lips with his tongue, pull it to the side with his teeth to give himself room to feast—

Bucky tries to shift his weight as nonchalantly as possible while his brain slows back down. The comeback from tactical analysis is always jarring, with this one being especially so. 

He's the worst kind of bastard. An awful, selfish, perverted sonofabitch. There's not shit he can do to change that. How unfortunate.

"David," Ava greets, the name coming out as tense as the closed smile plastered on her face. "You can put that down."

The other doctor doesn't look up from the work his hands are doing. "That you, Ava? I heard you were—"

"Now."

Bucky's back straightens up as David looks at her nervously, taken aback. Bucky doesn't blame him; he didn't know her voice could get that forceful.

David sort of laughs, which feels like the worst possible choice to Bucky. But, hey, not his call. "What, do you want me to just—"

"I want your hands off my patient right now. I'm not asking." She watches with unwavering intensity as the other doctor lets the needle and thread drop from his hands. She visibly bristles at the patronizing expression on David's face, her head tilting aggressively. Bucky kind of wants to watch her hit him. "I'll be back in less than a minute, sergeant. I need a word outside with Dr. Erikson."

"Take your time," Bucky assures, the tension bleeding out of him already. His ribs are leaking, and there's a piece of doctor floss looped through his skin that he's going to have to cut out of himself tomorrow morning. The immoral evaluation of her outfit that his head threw at him is going to eat him alive. Forever. Especially when he's trying to fall asleep for the foreseeable future. 

All things considered, though, he feels fan-fucking-tastic.

David still looks somewhat shell-shocked, and there's real insult starting to creep into his posture, but the guy doesn't argue. He follows Ava back out of the room, not bothering with a goodbye in Bucky's direction. When the door closes behind them, his super hearing picks up on Ava reaming David about prioritizing patients before ego. She goes into detail about the deep shit he'll be in with her if he keeps ignoring her written orders, long before it ever gets him fired. She tacks on why her anger should scare him a hell of a lot more than the idea of that. Then she instructs him to keep his damn hands off her patients and get back to the intake desk. 

The protective streak makes Bucky's chest feel warm, a half-smile pulling at his lips. She's a handful, alright. One he'd give anything to be brave enough to send flowers to.

Ava is calm, cool, and collected when she leans back in through the doorframe, hanging off it with a soft smile. "Hiya, stranger. I hear you picked a fight in my motherland today."

"I hear it has an arms dealer problem. I wanted to see if I could help." He gestures down at the needle swinging from his ribs without looking at it. "Not all Canadians are as welcoming as you, turns out."

"Eh?" she fires back, hamming up the accent. "Wellll, I'm not about to let a few cranky arms dealers tarnish our reputation. What do you say you push that bandage against your new bragging rights, and we head for my office?"

Licking his bottom lip nervously, he tries to give her a confident smile. "You were busy with something."

"Not too busy for my favorite popsicle." One eyebrow raises sternly. "You are not allowed to tell Steve I'm playing favorites." God, she's cute when she tries to deflect. It's never worked. At least not on him.

"That's—" Shit, where to even find the fucking words for her. "You don't have to do this. Go out of your way like this. I don't mind getting patched up by random medics. Comes with the job."

Her smile turns impish. "That's cool and all, but I mind when people ignore basic ethics just to have a story about stitching up an Avenger. If you need to tell yourself I'm using you as fuel for a workplace pissing contest, go for it. Whatever gets you off that biobed." She leans back, leaving the door open wide behind her. "Come on; I can't stand the way they organize these damn shelves. I wouldn't patch you up in here even if you did pay me. Next time, head for my office first."

Bucky does as she ordered, pushing the surgical towel she packed for him against his side, not minding the sting in the least. He swallows down the point that, by every definition there is, he's not an Avenger. "I'll follow you, doc."

—

"Alright," Wyatt plops his hands down on the glass of the holo, his expression determined. His tight curls bounce with the motion, making their resident gumdrop look adorable, even through the discomfort. "Let's get to dissectin' this cacophony. All in one go, preferably, so I don't feel like yackin' up my lunch two days runnin'."

Ava's head tilts sympathetically. "Oh, honey, tell me you didn't—"

His hand comes up, with his index finger pointed to the ceiling. "Nope. But I got close a couple'a times thinkin' about this." He mutters several things under his breath about creepy Nazi bastards while he pulls up the raw data from Bucky's implants. "All the more reason to get it the hell over with."

"A whole day of digging through coded war crimes," Hannah deadpans quietly, raising a steaming mug to her lips. "I'm glad we get the fun assignments."

"You'd ditch us if we didn't," Ava jokes. She scrolls through the sergeant's file absentmindedly on her tablet, reviewing the vitals added just a few hours ago. He actually came to medical. For something as minor as a field injury. Of his own volition.

"Mmm. I don't know. It's pretty fun watching a brain move like Jell-O. You might have been able to convince me to stick around just for that."

SHIELD's primary system makes a blaring noise of disagreement as Wyatt loads the main file structure. He frowns, looking over at Ava with concern. "Its askin' for administrative override."

"Heeey, that's that thing Tony says I'm not supposed to abuse. That's probably not a good sign." Ava pushes her glasses further up the bridge of her nose and leans over to get a look at the error. "JAR, I'd like some reassurance we're not about to trigger an ancient LoJack if you wouldn't mind advising here."

"There are safeguards in place for importing code with an unknown source," JARVIS reports in. The warning on the screen is dismissed, presumably by him, and a new window comes up. A log of the programming in Bucky's cybernetics going through digital quarantine loads rapidly, with line after line being highlighted in red and labeled HYDRA Suspected. "I will process them for you. One moment."

"We have to clean the Nazi code before we can beat it to death," Hannah mumbles against the rim of her mug. "I think I kind of like that."

"Please, Hannie, I'm hangin' on by the skin'a my teeth here." Scrubbing his hands over his face, Wyatt groans exhaustedly. He drags them down slowly, giving Hannah a pleading look over the tops of his fingers. "You know I'm always here for supportin' you—"

"I'm aware." The ex-marine's clipped tone makes Ava snort and look back down at her tablet. They both know stopping him now isn't going to cut off the word vomit.

Wyatt's hands thunk back down onto the glass. "I'm so proud'a ya, y'know that—" And there's the thickening of the accent.

"I know."

Ava's eyes skim over the list of everything detected in Bucky's wound, locking on the word leather in particular. Today was her first look at his work gear—she's got a feeling he doesn't call it a uniform—in person. It was hard to keep professional in front of six and a half feet of Hi, how are ya? wrapped up in that much heavy black. The sounds that his vest made when he dropped it on the coffee table— Jesus. He's got to be packing enough in there to arm a small country. 

"All's I'm sayin' is that if I have to hear about murder right now, I might actually upchu—"

"Please don't."

Ava's too scared to ask what's in the sergeant's pants for a multitude of reasons. Professionalism is lower on the list than it probably should be. It's a shame, too. He's downright hilarious when he lets himself talk. There's not a doubt in her mind that he'd come up with something unbearably good—and unwaveringly dry—in response to the loaded question.

"A'right then. We're in agreement. No bad thoughts today. We go in like—like excavators, right? With our helmets and our 'lil pickaxes, and we get what we need so we can—" The way he cuts himself off makes Ava look back up in concern. She finds the most horrified expression on Wyatt's face. "That—ah shit, that didn't come out all that right. That was mean, wannit? Insensitive. I'm not tryin' to belittle what the sergeant's been through."

"You weren't belittling anything," Ava assures, reaching out to rub his arm. "I think he'd be the first one to race you to a fossil joke about this."

"You'll tell 'im I'm takin' this serious, won't ya—"

A small chuckle escapes before she can stop it. "Wyatt, sweetheart, it's not like he heard you—"

"You take your pills today, Combs?" Hannah's calm question makes the gumdrop freeze in place. She blows on her coffee, taking a small sip. "If you say you don't remember, I'm going to—"

Wyatt snaps his fingers, his expression shifting to relief. "I didn't, and I remember why, too." He rolls his chair back with a sudden push, aiming for his desk. He reaches out before the chair finishes the trip to grab his patch-covered messenger bag. "One'a the cats got int'a my coat closet; dumbass got stuck on a shelf for reasons I'm still not real clear on." He pops open his medication bottle, tossing a pill into his mouth with a level of dexterity that makes her jealous. "The hollerin' was s'damn loud, I thought the landlord was gonna come knockin'."

"Which one was it?" Ava asks. "Not the new kitten?"

"No, no—Juno's been'a dream. It was Galileo again. I love that furry little bastard, but sometimes he can drive me nutty ." He pauses to take a swig from another glossy vacation mug. Today's is advertising a campground Ava's never heard of that's the best in the Rockies, according to the swirling font. "I got new pictures of Juno if you want 'em, though."

"Yes, please," Ava confirms happily. Holding the teacup-sized ball of fur made her whole month when he last brought Juno in. Hannah ended up hogging most of the cuddle time, but the sound of little meows filling the day had been enough to make up for it.

Wyatt pulls his phone from his back pocket and brings it around to hook up to the holo. The system dings with the sound of a successful transfer after a moment. He loads a collection of new photos, zeroing in on one of Juno clawing her way up a window curtain—

The power to the lab shuts off with a loud, electric click. Everything plunges into darkness with the privacy setting on the glass walls keeping the sun out. It comes back on before Ava can react, the building's primary system switching to the emergency power grid. She and Wyatt lock eyes in panic.

"Oooh man, boss, did I just—"

"I'm sure you didn't," Ava comforts, trying to push down her own panic. It helps that she's heard Tony rambling about the work he's put into making this place indestructible. "JAR?" 

There's no response from the AI. She trades another nervous glace with Wyatt.

"I know it was probably the Nazi shit, but I'm hoping it was the cats," Hannah says, sounding sincere. "I feel like that'll make a much better story."

"Oh my god, did I break JAR?" Wyatt looks between them frantically. "How often does he back up his servers? Did I kill'a piece'a JAR?!"

"I have not been murdered," the AI confirms after nearly a minute of being gone. "The safeguards reported a false positive regarding the programming of Sergeant Barnes' cybernetics. It has been handled."

Ava gives the hologram wall of code a warry look. "Handled by you?" There's a suspicion building in her gut around his phrasing, one that she's not planning on letting out of her teeth. 

"Mr. Stark has a protocol in place that cuts off my servers in the event of any irregular activity. Given the nature of the programming's origin, the system is designed to er on the side of caution."

"That's a really fancy way of dancing around the point, JAR." She's trying to stay civil about this. It's not an easy venture, and she's pretty sure it's not translating at all. Even she can hear the frustration in her voice. "How about we cut the shit, and you tell me what the false positive was."

"There are automated routines running for Sergeant Barnes' implants. They are not harmful; I've taken the liberty of checking them personally now that they've been cleared through quarantine. I am creating a stable update to forward to—"

"How long have they not been harmful, JARVIS?"

Hannah sits up from her relaxed position at the avoidance of their favorite nickname for the AI. Wyatt's brows pull in nervously, his eyes never leaving Ava. They both know exactly what she's digging at.

There's a long hesitation from JARVIS. Short by normal social standards but an eternity for a sentience with quantum processors. "There is not currently a risk posed within the Sergeant's—"

Ava's out of her chair and halfway to the door before he even finishes the omission. Fueled by some of the most intense rage she's ever felt in her life, she marches out on swift feet. She's going to kill him. She's going to string him up—maybe hang him off the side of the tower.

America's fucking Sweetheart, her ass. America's Doomed Liar is a lot more like it.

"Where is he," Ava nearly growls, still stalking down the halls, leaving the medical wing in a hurry. "JARVIS, I know you're still listening; you tell me where that puffed-up, hypocritical—oooh , you tell me where Rogers is right the fuck now. And then you tell me where Stark is—"

"Dr. Ryder, I know you're not inclined to believe this at the moment, but I assure you—"

"You're right; I'm not inclined to do that at all." She takes a deep breath as she passes through the front entrance, slowing herself to a stop. With genuine effort, she pushes down her anger. "I don't want to keep yelling at you. I don't like doing it in the first place. If you don't want to tell me where they are, I'll find them myself."

Ava heads for the elevator to do just that. She's not expecting a response as she pounds the side of her fist against the button for the Datacrux's floor. It's likely to be her best bet to find any of them. There's not a chance in hell that she's letting her team dedicate any more time to this until she gets some fucking explanations.

Halfway along the ride up, the light around the button goes dim. A flash of anger rises in her until she sees the one for the executive level illuminate. 

"Mr. Stark is not currently in the tower, but you will find Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes debriefing in the Situation Room," JARVIS informs her over the elevator's intercom, making the SHEILD agents around her pretend not to look over. She's tempted to ask them if it's the outfit.

"Thank you, JAR," she offers as an olive branch. Regardless of what's truly going on here, she doubts the AI is all that comfortable with the subject.

"You're welcome, Ava."

She's only been to this part of the tower once before. Tony dragged her up to the Avenger's balcony for a party after her divorce was first finalized. That's about the extent of her experience with this section. It's not hard to find her way with everything denoted like it is in the rest of the building.

The palm of her hand smacks against the door marked Situation Room, and she shoves it open aggressively. Both super soldiers, the Falcon, Black Widow, and a scattered group of SHIELD agents stare back at her in surprise. It doesn't slow her down any.

Ava points an irate finger at Steve in the uneasy silence of the room. "Unless New York just caught fire, you and I are about to have a very blunt conversation, captain."

"Hiya, doc." Bucky, unsurprisingly, is the only one in the room smiling at her while she glares daggers at Captain America. He's still in his not-uniform. There's still blood on it. The charm he's throwing her way reminds her that they won't want an audience. 

"I'm going to ask the rest of you to leave," she continues, but her eyes stay on the sergeant as her finger lowers. "I don't think you'll want to be here for this, Bucky."

"What makes you think I don't wanna watch you beat up my best friend?" He leans back in his chair, his hands coming up to rest on his stomach as his smile deepens.

"Can I stay?" Sam asks, his voice eager. It's a damn shame this is how she gets to meet him. She doubts the Falcon has any clue about unethical research.

"Come on," Natasha insists with a serene nod in Ava's direction, grabbing Sam's shirt to drag him up from his chair. "You heard her."

"I—hey!" Steve looks so insulted as he watches his friends and various coworkers abandon him with zero hesitation. "You're just gonna—I don't even know what I did!"

"Neither do I, but I am very ready to hear about it," Bucky assures Ava, not an increasingly distressed Steve.

Ava taps her foot impatiently as the room clears out, leaving her alone with the super soldiers. She ignores the nerves radiating off of one of them and focuses on the one that looks delighted. "I'm serious. This is about your case. Specifically, the work HYDRA was trying to finish."

The mirth leaves Bucky almost entirely. His posture doesn't adjust from its reclined position. "Alright. Tell me what's got you livid about it."

"Steve here made me a promise that was broken in my lab a few minutes ago."

Steve's eyebrows pull in with confusion. "Which promise? Wait—a few minutes ago—Is this about that blackout? Ava, catch me up here; what the hell is—"

"You swore to me that the intention of HYDRA—at least where Bucky's case is concerned—was to make an army of super soldiers, nothing more." She's letting him process this one step at a time. It'll make yelling at him for lying a lot easier. That, and she's honestly worried the technophobe doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"I—" Steve hesitates, and she watches the switch to tactical assessment come over him. It's startling to see it directed at her from a face that isn't Bucky's. "As far as I know, that was the intention."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You're sure you're not omitting something pretty fucking important to my job, Steven?"

"JARVIS, what was the blackout?" Bucky questions at half the volume he started at when she first came in.

Ava points at the sergeant insistently. "See? I'm guessing he doesn't even know, but he's sure as hell already on the right track."

"There was an incident regarding the coding found in your implants, Sergeant Barnes. It has been handled. I have prepared an update to their systems whenever you're ready to undergo a transfer."

"As your doctor, I'm ordering it. We can go back to my office after I'm finished ripping your friend a new asshole for lying to my face." Her eyebrows lower at Bucky in indignation. She's doing this for him, but that doesn't mean she's going to let him off the hook if he knew. "We should probably figure out if I need to do the same to you before we get there."

"Hey, hang on now." Steve raises one hand, likely to try to calm her, but changes his mind and puts it back under the table. She's guessing someone's finally clued in the out-of-time man about that practice making women want to throw something. At his head. "We might not always be able to talk about classified information—something you agreed to, I might add—but I've never lied about HYDRA's intent as far as I comprehend it. I've been very careful to hold up that end of our deal."

"Let me tell you how I know, for a fact, that someone involved in this case is doing a piss-poor job of lying to me about it. Since you haven't quite figured out modern tech, I'm going to try to keep it simple." Ava points a far less aggressive, more instructing finger at Bucky's arm. "In order for that hunk of metal to work, it needs to be programmed. The hardware needs software that can tell it how to read brain signals. A few decades ago, some Nazis sat in a room and wrote a bunch of code for that software. That's what was supposed to be in Bucky's implants. That's all that was supposed to be in Bucky's implants."

"Wait—what the hell else is in them?" The flicker of fear that creeps into Bucky's expression breaks her heart. There's not a doubt in her mind that he could sell her on any lie he wants to with his mind set on it. That's the point of infiltrators like him. 

But Ava's willing to bet everything she's got in this world that the fear in him at the moment is genuine. He doesn't know. And it makes her feel awful.

"Given the size of your implants, I'm guessing not much," she tries to reassure. "We can always purge whatever is there later. However, if the code were as simple as 'read this signal, do this thing,' it wouldn't have been flagged as untouchable by Tony's security measures. The ones put in specifically to prevent JARVIS from being corrupted." She crosses her arms over her chest in exasperation, her eyes moving to one of the small security cameras on the ceiling. "Would you like to explain to the captain what kind of code it would take to accomplish that, JARVIS?"

There's another human-length moment of hesitation from the AI in response. "It would take adapting code."

"The part he's holding back—definitely because he's under orders not to break SHIELD protocol—is that something has to be driving the adaptation. There is such a thing as self-adapting code; that would absolutely explain it. If we weren't talking about something made in the 40s when HYDRA needed entire warehouses just to house a few terabytes of data." She glances over at Bucky. "While I'm sure the agents you scare the piss out of would disagree, your head isn't actually big enough to hold that much."

"You flirtin' with me to stop the panic or to apologize for not being Canadian for a minute?"

Ava blinks in surprise, the slightest hint of heat coming up the sides of her neck. That—she hadn't been—well. Steve's head turns to him, his eyebrows raising in mild shock.

Bucky clears his throat, then tries for a quiet chuckle, his eyes floating between her and the table. "Sorry—it's this damn room. Puts me in sergeant mode, makes me—let's get back to yelling at Steve."

"Thanks, asshole, I appreciate—"

"What makes you think I won't yell at you just because I'm Canadian?" Ava counters, finally recovering. "You trying to stereotype me, Barnes?"

The relief that comes off of Bucky is palpable. "I'd go for the hippie thing first if I was trying to do that."

"Didn't you sleep through the McCarthy era?"

"HYDRA gave me the long and short of it between naps."

Her hand flies up to her face to block a loud snort. Damn him, this is serious. But she's not about to begrudge him the gallows humor. She lowers it again while he smirks at her. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make an angry but valid point here."

"About a bunch of code that my head isn't big enough for," he continues for her dryly, one hand coming off his stomach to gesture up at it.

Ava sighs, the amusement from getting sidetracked by the Brooklyn heartstopper fading fast. "Not big enough by the standards of the 40s. By today's standards?" Her head tilts to the side sadly, readying herself to watch that fear in him get more substantial. "You tell me, Buck. Did the Nazis work in the mindset of single projects, or did they work in the mindset of generations that would lead a global empire?"

The words are the last piece to complete the puzzle in Bucky's mind; Ava can see it happen in his eyes. The expression of horror it yanks out of him will haunt her for the rest of her days. "Zola." 

It's said in a whisper, and Ava's not even sure what the word is. 

It takes Steve longer to reach whatever conclusion Buckys come to, and he looks resistant to the idea at first. "No, that's... no—Buck, you've been to what's left. You know what it took—"

"That's the point she's making, stupid. Look at how small everything's gotten." He stops, and Ava doesn't miss the sight of a hard swallow. "It makes sense. Think about it. It makes sense. They took care of the car until they could find an engine that fit. I was the prototype. Or—was going to be, at least."

The comparison—the one he's using on himself—is revolting. Accurate, but astoundingly revolting. She pushes past it, leaning down to tap a condescending nail on the table. "Hi, there. Still here. Still looking for some answers. What the hell is Zola?"

With Steve watching him like a hawk, Bucky breathes a long, tired sigh. "Not what. Who." 

"I can fill her in," Steve offers to him quickly. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, I'm not doing shit. She's going to do it all." Bucky locks eyes with Ava, his expression passive. Having the Winter Soldier himself that focused in on her makes her breath catch involuntarily. "How's your Russian, doc?"

"I don't speak a word of it. Do I need to for this?"

"No, I'm sure you've got plenty of ways to translate anything you feel like reading. You should look up doveryai, no proveryai while you're at it." He leans forward, resting his arms on the table. His eyes never once move away from hers. "JARVIS, transfer a copy of my archive access to Dr. Ryder. Full permissions. And the next time she asks you a hard question, you don't have to bullshit her. Tell her to call me."

—

April 6th, 2015

"I want you to bring me with you next time."

"No."

"Is that a no because you do not agree or because you are afraid of mother?"

"Both."

Shuri frowns at the security feed, ignoring the quiet laughter she can hear coming from Nakia on the other end. "Coward."

The camera mounted on T'Challa's dashboard shakes as he turns it back to his face, his expression annoyed. "Say that to my—"

"Coward."

T'Challa rolls his eyes and turns the camera back around as Nakia laughs harder. He will be mopey now, for sure. "I am not taking you to stare at a soldier's office with us."

"Why not?"

"To start with, I refuse to be trapped in a car with you for that amount of time."

"You should be so lucky! Now, what is the real reason."

"What part of royal family do you not—"

"You get to go to these things."

"And when you leave your lab long enough to learn to use the spears of your foremothers, that privilege can extend to you."

"Okoye is always ready to teach you, Shuri," Nakia offers up diplomatically. 

"I do not need a spear to sit in a car annoying my brother," Shuri argues. They always do this to her. She is tired of it.

"You do not need to sit in a car annoying your bother at all." The moping has already started. She can hear it in T'Challa's voice.

"Fine. I will go to Ava's house and stay there while—"

"No."

Shuri slams her hands down on her desk, making the various instruments on it rattle precariously. "She is my family, too!"

There's silence on the other end in the wake of her anger. Then the camera turns again, this time by Nakia's hand. She doesn't stop the spin until it's pointed to show her and T'Challa. He does not look as annoyed anymore. He looks guilty.

Nakia gives her a sympathetic smile. "No one is trying to take that from you. We are only trying to keep you safe. We do not know how far Alec is willing to take things."

"And I am not willing to present the man with more temptations of power," T'Challa adds, the guilt on his face shifting to resignation. "It is not simply because I am afraid of our mother. I agree with her. And with our father. Alec Harlow is a man that is losing everything. That is a powerful motivator, Shuri."

"I am not afraid of that spineless demon," Shuri insists angrily. "I could handle him myself, thank you very much."

"Half the school children in Wakanda could," Nakia mocks under her breath.

She gets a stern look from T'Challa before he focuses it on Shuri. "It is not his strength we are concerned with. It is the allies he can call upon at any time. Men with strength and resources that we do not wish to deal with."

Some of the fight leaves her. Not much, but it does ebb. Her brother might be an idiot, but he is right about this. Ava would not be this afraid for no reason. She has been trying to disguise it when Nakia brings her for visits, which is how Shuri knows it is serious.

"I hate that man, brother." The word is far too inadequate. The contempt she holds for the worm who put fear in the heart of her favorite mad scientist feels immeasurable.

"As do I. As do we all." T'Challa smiles at her finally, his face softening. "I promise to bring you to hit him if he is ever arrested. That is when I will deem it safe enough."

"How many times?" she chases after quickly. "Can I bring a weapon?"

"You can bring exactly one weapon. Can you guess what it is?" The smile turns sarcastic as he reaches out and turns the camera back around to face Alec's office window. 

"I do not need a spear to break that man."

"No, you need it so I can stop being lectured by Okoye for enabling your avoidance of tradition."

"That will not help. She wishes for me to sit through her lessons. I would just bring the spear to hit him over the head with."

Nakia laughs, the sound light and soothing. "I am surprised you did not go straight for the idea of skewering him."

Tilting her head down at her desk, Shuri hesitates. She picks up the ridiculous coffee mug Ava got her, spinning it around in her hands with somber movements. 

Ava's last visit had been especially hard to stomach. The woman had looked so... empty as she talked about the start of the divorce. There had been no vengeful joy in her as she told Shuri's father she understood the gravity of the situation. No hard-won victory in her posture. There had only been grief and shame.

Shuri sighs, turning away from the screen to head for her lab's kitchen. She is going to fill the mug with one of the teas that Ava brings her. It will be a nice change from the energy drinks she has been binging. "No. I... I do not wish the man dead. I only wish to see him locked away somewhere he can never smile again."

—author end notes—

there’s one sentence in this chapter that is 14 words long (including contractions) that is the entire foundation of their incoming dom/sub and oh my g o d when i tell you that shit was cathartic to write 😫🤌 some day when this is finished, im gonna write a whole goddamn dissertation on that one sentence and all the narrative shit that tied into it in this fic so help me (YOURE ALLOWED TO GUESS BTW)

anyways, everyone is alive in wakanda bc i said so. and nakia and t’challa are really stupid uber mega important to ava’s backstory

i feel like we’ve all, as a species, Been Through Enough. you can talk my ear off abt anything, but dont talk to me abt the opening of wakanda forever i will Literally Die, i havent cried that hard over the first watch of a movie in so fucking long and i dont think im strong enough for a second. all i ever need for binging is winter soldier and black panther anyhow (FATWS is still growing on me and i only like it so far bc im a sambucky shipper. and a stucky shipper. and a 3 musketeer shipper. and a—i like making buckaroo be in love a lot. lets just. leave it at that). we can stop with the big owies thanks. let me escape to the fictional world where everyone is alive and Nothing Hurts, t h a n k s.

well. okay. some things are gonna hurt in this. probably really super bad too and youre gonna be really really mad at me when it hits. but like. theyre set up for comfort pay off so does it even really count??? i didnt think so, ty for agreeing 😌

ily 💖 tyty for reading 💞 and tyty in advance for yelling at me when i eventually hurt u ❤️🥰 i will understand, its okay, u are entitled to the emotional compensation on that one

[hauerhoetime]

@hauerhoetime 👋 could you PLEASE some soft billy headcanons, like:

Cuddling

Patching him up after a fight

Surprising him by coming to a basketball game

Helping him after he has been flayed

AHHHH omg you are my first request and you do not understand how excited and grateful I am!! I told all my friends and have been thinking about it since I got it :) Thank you so much I truly appreciate it!! I do have to say though I really struggled with the helping him after he got flayed part so I didnt include headcanons for that I'm sorry :( but I hope you still enjoy the rest of it!!

Headcanons

Billy Hargrove x reader

Summary: wholesome headcanons of patching Billy up, cuddling with him, and surprising him at his basketball game :)

CUDDLING

- At the start of the relationship Billy would only be the big spoon because he felt like it made him seem stronger

- Later on however he loves being held.

- Tbh though I dont think hes a big fan of spooning in general I think hes more of a laying on top of you with his head on your chest/stomach with his arms wrapped around you kinda guy prove me wrong.

- Lives for your hands playing with his hair during cuddles. Will never ask for it or admit it but you can feel him literally melt into you the moment your fingers touch his scalp.

PATCHING HIM UP

- Ok I have a very specific idea for the first time you patch him up but that I can make a one shot later if yall want 👀👀 just gotta let me know.

- Anywho this man would just show up on your doorstep or outside your window with a black eye and a busted lip.

- He wont talk about it but he just wanted to be around you he doesn't even expect you to patch him up.

- The moment you take him in and pull him to the bathroom to clean his wounds he knows he loves you.

- He probably knew or at least had an inclination that he was falling in love before this moment but as he watches you fumble through the medicine cabinet trying to find something to help he knows that he doesn't want anything more than to spend his life with you.

- Youd sit him on the closed toilet seat and stand in between his legs. Your hand is carefully holding his cheek or grabbing his chin in order to hold him in place.

- His hands are on your hips or the back of your thighs the entire time.

- This fool has heart eyes looking up at you. Hes not smiling but he is looking at your eyes the entire time watching them run across his wounds trying to clean them as carefully as you could.

- After you finished patching him up hed throw a "thanks sweetheart" at you and kiss your forehead with less force than he normally would (mostly because he knew that if he made his lip bleed again youd scold him and he just wanted to be in your arms right now)

SHOWING UP AT HIS GAME

- Youd sneak through the door and sit in the middle of the stands.

- Once he was on the court youd yell out something like "You got this Billy!!" or even just a "Wooo Billy!!"

- He would whip his head towards the stands and the moment his eyes land on you he gets the biggest smile on his face.

- His smile stays for the rest of the game and after every point he scores he looks to you for your approval.

- In the stands you have a matching smile and occasionally you find yourself jumping up and down in celebration and pride.

- After the game you run down to the court and he watches you the entire time.

- Once you get close he opens his arms for you to run right in. He holds you close as you tell him just how proud you are.

- He thanks you for coming and hes just so happy to have a partner that comes to support him.

- Once hes showered and changed he takes you out to dinner. Nothing fancy just a quick dinner and after he drives you home.

- The entire time at dinner hes holding your hand and in the car he hes holding your hand in your lap.

[skylarsblue]

You should've seen a request from my goofy ass coming papa blue

OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT

Some domestic Sinclair brothers fluff with a Hispanic female reader? Them white babies need flavor, and yall know Bo cant cook and that Lester be eating worms and canned beans.

No but seriously, how cute is it to imagine a lil Hispanic housewife reader slapping Lester's hand with a spatula while cooking,or yelling at Bo in spanish ((hes into it but we dont comment)) and her all around babying Vincent, calling him gifted and just loving them the way they deserved as kids. Just feisty, small little momma cleaning around the house, screaming flamenco at the top of her lungs, teaching Bo and lester the Merengue,, it's so cute-

I am always down for sassy housewives/mama Y/N's. They speak to my soul. I may be whiter than the first European settlers if they were also vampires who liked chicken-fried-okra, but I have some Hispanic friends! So hopefully that'll help me here. Also, the coMMENT ABOUT THE FLAVOR PLEASE-

Bo Sinclair

I’m gonna be completely honest...he’s gonna make cringy comments. At least in the beginning. Oddly enough, he means it innocently, but you’ll need to explain to him why calling you “exotic” is in fact, not a compliment. He means well I swear! For once...

Bo’s in need of a feisty housewife, if any of the Sinclair’s need a chancla thrown at them, it’s him. That being said, he’s not super into being yelled at. So, if it’s your immediate reaction, that might cause some issues. However, when you start yelling in Spanish? Yeah he’s into it, whether it’s directed at him or someone else. He has absolutely no idea what you’re saying but it sounds pretty.

While he entrusts you with your “housewife duties”, he’s also gonna question everything. Mostly your cooking, even if he ends up enjoying it 99% of the time. But, he highly doubts Vix Vapor run as literally any effect on a chest cold at all. And when it does? He’s gonna grumble about the smug grin on your face.

On the topic of kids; Bo’s generally the kinda guy to deny wanting kids, but then secretly want them, at least at some point. He’s mostly just afraid he’ll end up like Victor. He doesn’t want to fuck up a kid as badly as he is. That, and he doesn’t want to seem soft. But, the more Bo thinks about it, the more he grows to like the idea. He might not actively come to you asking to make one, but you’re likely to see a spike in his breeding kink at some point in the relationship.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent absolutely adores the Spanish language. It’s one of the languages he considers a beautiful, almost poetic dialect. Most of the time, they utterly melt when you speak Spanish. Now, when you scream in Spanish, he’s taken aback. They’ve never see such fire! They might snicker to themselves if it’s directed at Bo, which it usually is.

Vincent will love most of your food, but, he can’t handle spice very well. They fear the moment you bring out any hot peppers in the kitchen. He’s a bit of a baby when spice is a thing.

Something they enjoy with you is the music. Assuming it’s not too loud or intense, they certainly enjoy listening to you sing in your mother tongue to the radio. Bo makes gagging noises when he sees Vincent gazing adoringly at you when you add a little dance while sweeping. If it’s late and you two are alone, he’ll gladly join in.

On the topic of wanting kids: Out of all three Sinclair brothers, Vincent is the most apprehensive. It’s just not something he’s ever thought about too hard. It’s not that they dislike kids, but they never bothered to consider it. When they do, there’s a million things that make him fear actually doing so. One, his face, he doesn’t want to scare children. Two, their lifestyles. Ambrose, town of dead wax people, is not necessarily the best place to raise children. And three, Vincent’s terrified of the idea that your babies will end up conjoined. Even if it was only a minor case (such as a slight fusion of the arm), he doesn’t have the skills his father had to separate them. That’s not to say he could never be convinced! It would just take a lot longer.

Lester Sinclair

Oh buddy boy what a match made in Heaven. Lester would work well with someone with a loud personality in most cases. He’s an energetic guy, someone to be loud with would work well. Man has no clue what words you’re saying in Spanish, but he’s willing to try and pick up some stuff if you’re willing to teach him. But he’s more an audible learner. I do think it’d be hilarious if you managed to teach him enough to where he can use it against Bo. Because it’ll drive the man up a wall.

Lester would adore your cooking more than anything else. (Excluding family, of course.) He enjoys cooking most of the time, but he rarely tries new things. He has his specialties. Fried chicken, cod fish, etc. But he loves food, especially food with a lot of spice. On top of this, you making food for him will make his heart sore. One of his love languages, both giving and receiving, it’s acts of service.

He’s probably gonna be confused by a lot of superstitions & remedies that you swear by. But, he’s never going to completely discount them. If you say herbal tea is gonna help his throat, he’ll try it. If you say Vics is gonna do-away with his chest cold? Slather him, he’s got it. Lester has no idea how that Mother Mary candle is gonna keep away negative energy but if you say so, get hundreds!

On the topic of kids: Lester’s the most likely to be the most ready for kids. He’s definitely thought of it the most, but not to the point where he’s made it a life goal. However, if you bring up having kids? Lester is gonna be over the moon. Now, he’ll be incredibly anxious over the idea, but it will be a thought he mulls over with a smile anyway. He’ll bring it up often after you do and basically impatiently insist that you get started right away, even if you said you wanted them eventually.