#and please dont let anybody tell you otherwise

[cam0mi1e]

I was misdiagnosed with mood problems yesterday, because of my parents description. And a year before that i was misdiagnosed with depression when it was an autistic burnout all along

i dont like to talk about self-diagnosis because i dont enjoy people making assumptions about me, my illnesses, and my diagnostic status. but i will say:

i have self diagnosed and gone on to be medically validated with an official diagnosis. multiple times actually. i was never wrong about my self-diagnoses.

however, i have been misdiagnosed by professionals FIVE TIMES. and let me tell you, a professional diagnosis being wrong is far more harmful than a self-diagnosis being wrong.

if your self diagnosis is wrong, maybe you used the wrong language or put yourself in a box or now feel invalid and whatnot. but if your professional diagnosis is wrong, it can lead to abuse, medical trauma, panic attacks, issues with medication, even suicide.

i was misdiagnosed with BPD when i was 15 by a psychologist that i spoke to for hardly even 10 minutes. this diagnosis was based on my parent's description of my reactions to abuse, and the diagnosis was used to validate and excuse their abuse.

i was misdiagnosed with MDD when i was 12 and put through several different types of anti-depressants. we never found anything that worked, because it was actually ADHD and dissociation, but i did end up with panic attacks and insomnia all throughout middle/highschool!

when i self-diagnosed with autism however, it saved my life. it took me out of active suicidality because i was able to finally able to accept myself after years of feeling like i am just "being a person wrong". i had the knowledge to accomodate for myself and the language to advocate for myself. this was life changing. even if i was wrong, which i wasnt, i dont see how it couldve caused any harm.

my opinions on self-diagnoses arent black and white, and im not entirely settled on them either, but i do think this is important to understand. doctors and psychologists are not all knowing. we live in a time where we can access thousands of dollars worth of university level education on the internet, even the same exact resources medical students use. plenty of people are capable of interpreting themselves and that information to come to a conclusion about what they are experiencing and what might help.

sure, self-diagnosis might be biased. but a professional is most likely going to be just as biased, and possibly less aware of it. its just silly to use bias as a primary argument when it is an inescapable feature of human psychology. there is a reason ADHD is underdiagnosed in women. there is a reason anxiety disorders are underdiagnosed in men.

an incorrect self-diagnosis wont take away resources or your space in your comminities. but professional misdiagnosis can cause real damage.

(i am not trying to fear-monger about professional diagnosis, moreso responding to the fear-mongering surrounding self-diagnosis)

[ghostie-luvs]

Hey! Its me again! Thank you so much for writing the yan jock x ADHD reader! I loved it sm! I have another request but please take your time and don’t overwork yourself!

Can you please to yandere jock x male reader whos like a puppy? Like they really like affection and shower him with it in private but is more decrete when in public. Also they bite him <3

Not hard enough to break skin and make him beed but enough to leave a mark! They just love him so much! Its like when puppies bite their owners bc they are so happy and excited! They love him so much! And love to hold his hand and give him kisses and love praise including when they have “fun” together. Anyways thank you so much please dont overwork yourself and take care of your body!

-🩷

Yandere! Jock x Male Puppy! Reader <3

TW: A little (maybe?) NSFW

✩‧₊˚ who smirked when he and his team won a game, seeing you and making his way over to you. He envelops you in a big hug with his arms, you not minding his sweat as you tell him how amazing he was out there.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who only smiles and thanks you as he kisses your cheek in appreciation and you do the same, before he runs off to the locker rooms, to fix himself up with his team.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who meets up with you after he gets done, and is met with so many kisses from you, as you pepper his face once you two slip into his car. He goes to clasp your hand with his, squeezing it. “my good boy, hm?,” he praises with appreciation for you.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who starts the car, driving to his house as he lays a hand onto your thigh, stroking it with his thumb as he focuses on the road, letting you take charge of the aux.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who finally arrives to his house, parking the car and walking into the house with you, hand in hand and smiled as you begin to hug him tightly once you two are behind closed doors.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who ends up slathered by your kisses, all over his face as you two make it to the couch, with you even straddling him and pressing wet kisses to his skin still.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who lets out a surprised but pleasured groan when you begin to nip at his skin, telling him how much of a good job he did tonight and how much you love him. “I love you-I love you so much..”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who only allows you to attack his skin with your mouth, small groans leaving his lips as he goes to wrap his arms around you, telling you how much of a good pup you are for him. “my, such a good pup, aren’t you? My pup, mine.”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who smiles as you calm down soon enough and presses a kiss to your cheek. He loves you so much, he’d let you do whatever you love to him. “I love you. Don’t forget it.”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who lets you admire the marks you left on him, rubbing your back, soothing you as he calls you his good boy and lets you rest against him, your head on his chest as he sees you start to fall asleep.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ “Goodnight, darling..I love you..”

A/n: here you are, love! Thank you for the request and m sorry to keep you waiting :( I do hope you liked this and it met your expectations,, if there are any mistakes (anybody) please let me know! As always, reblogs, likes and even comments are appreciated <3

p.s. I have no idea if what I wrote went against my own rule of ‘explicit nsfw’ but I suppose it doesn’t matter if I was able to write it so enjoy!!

more of my works :) requests!!

© @ghostie-luvs All works belong to me,, please do not post my works, modify, or plagiarize on other platforms and this one unless stated otherwise.

[bonny-kookoo]

Sugar & spice

• What was the first reaction of the other members (we all know already what Namjoon thought 🙄), when they found out about Y/N or when they met her for the first time?

I mean yeah, Namjoon is kind of.. 🤧 I'll still include him tho lol

Namjoon:

"So what you're saying is-" Namjoon says, trying hard to stay composed. "-You've been hiding the fact that you adopted a fucking hybrid three years ago? And you didn't think once about telling me, or us in general?" He says, shaking his head. Jungkook is standing in his studio with his arms crossed, having somewhat expected this reaction from the leader. "She's not going to be able to handle your career-"

"You didn't even meet her yet, I've handled it fine until now-" jungkook argues back, but Namjoon won't let him.

"She's a hybrid!" He barks out, successfully shutting the younger idol up. "I.. need time to think about this." He says, and Jungkook gladly leaves his studio-

Because he's sure, otherwise he might've done something he'd regret later.

Jimin:

"You're awfully curious about her." Jungkook notices as Jimin watches you sleep with your head on his thigh.

"Hmhm. I.. have been thinking about, you know, something like this as well." He explains, watching you snooze away while Jungkook runs his hand over your hair. "When I donated to the Busan Carecenter for the first time, last year- there was a hybrid who I've been told had been there for six years." The singer softly says, remembering the situation. "All because she doesn't talk. She uses sign language instead." He says. "Its honestly cute. Like, she signed this-" he demonstrates with his hands, "to tell me I'm handsome. So bold!" He laughs to himself, and Jungkook grins.

"Why not do it?" He asks. "I mean, it works out for me. And you're a good person, hyung."

"What if I like her too much?" Jimin quietly asks, and Jungkook shrugs.

"They're not stupid. I mean, look at us both. It's all consensual, we talked about it a lot before anything happened, and that's what's most important."

"Wait, youre-" jimin asks, and Jungkook nods, shrugging.

"We are." He simply says. "And I wouldn't want anybody else than her."

Hoseok:

"She's adorable, really.!" He laughs from his spot, watching how you run back to both Jungkook and him with your and Jungkooks jackets. "You're so fast too!" He praises, and you smile, before giving Hoseok something he receives with wide eyes. "Where'd you find that?" He asks astounded, having searched for that bracelet the entire day. You simply point towards a chair way further back, and Jungkook smiles.

"She's like a police dog in that department." He comments. "No idea how she does it."

"Sounds incredibly helpful." He laughs, smiling at you, who rather hides a little behind Jungkook who instead occupies your attention by helping you into your coat. "She's super shy, isn't she?" He says more calmer now, and Jungkook nods.

"A mix of past trauma and her general character I believe." He shrugs, putting on his own coat. "The more you get to know her, the more she'll open up, promise." He reassures, and Hoseok nods.

"Even if she stays quiet, that's fine." He says, before he looks at you. "Dont ever let anyone force you to be someone you're not." He says, and you nod.

Taking that suggestion to heart.

Taehyung & Jin:

"Well, that's certainly not something I thought to witness." Seokjin says, standing in the entryway together with Taehyung, both idols looking at the chaotic scenery in front of them.

"I'm sorry- I wanted to tell you, I promise- no wait stay still, please baby-" Jungkook struggles, holding your head still to access the damage that had occurred earlier. Vote idols had caught the singer off-guard; causing you to run a bit too fast over the tiled floors, slipping and subsequently hitting your head on the edge of the living room table.

"I- who is she even? Are you looking after someone's hybrid?" Seokjin wants to know, but Taehyung taps his older bandmate's arm, pointing around.

There's clear signs of a hybrid living here, long term, and it gets clearer the further they step into their bandmate's home. Food additives and supplements in the kitchen, a nutrition guide on the fridge, multiple coats and shoes nowhere near Jungkook's size in the entryway. You're not someone's hybrid. You're his hybrid.

"Do you feel dizzy? Sick? No?" Jungkook asks, making sure you didn't sustain any serious injuries from your fault- before he holds you close while you cry from the shock of the accident. "I'm.. really sorry. This isn't how I wanted you to find out."

"Man, I'm impressed if anything. So that's why no one's allowed to visit you?" Taehyung wonders, and Jungkook nods.

The singer had wanted to pick something up from Jungkook on his way to his own home- and Jungkook had agreed, having intended to just give it out by the door, having you hide somewhere so it wouldn't come out.

"Well.. I mean, if you're not ready to share it with the guys yet, I won't tell." Seokjin shrugs. Taehyung next to him nods as well.

"Did she hurt herself bad?" Taehyung wonders, stepping a bit closer to where you're hiding in Jungkook's chest, and the singer who's holding you shakes his head.

"Luckily just a bump on the head. Just the shock, really." He says, and slowly, you lean back, looking at the stranger with tear stained cheeks and glistening eyes.

"I'm sorry we scared you. Let's meet some other time instead, okay?" Taehyung offers, and Seokjin smiles as well- and you nod, before looking at Jungkook.

It's not how he wanted anyone to find out- but he knows to trust his hyungs. They'll keep it secret until he's ready.

Yoongi:

"Thats a lot of supplements." Yoongi comments on, looking at the small bottles of food supplements that are in Jungkooks kitchen. The singer next to him nods.

"She can basically eat anything, but I like to make sure she gets all she needs." He says, flipping the piece of meat in the pan. "Some might think I'm a bit too picky with what she gets to eat. I think I actually am." He chuckles.

"Nah, it's normal to be so aware, I guess." The rapper shrugs. "They're dependent on us to a certain degree, after all." He mumbles, watching the younger idol plate up your portion of dinner. "Is she always this calm?" He wonders, looking over at you quietly watching TV while both he and Jungkook reside in the kitchen.

"I mean, yeah? She gets her days where she's a little hyper, but a lot of people have told me she's really calm." He says. "Many just think hybrids are either eternal children or full on pets. It's infuriating, really."

"It really is. But they're just different." Yoongi shrugs off, turning around to get cutlery. "It'll get better one day, I hope. People like Namjoon just.. haven't really looked into it enough to understand it." He explains.

"Still... it upsets me that he's acting like she's some alien that's gonna ruin everyone's life's now." Jungkook sighs.

"Oh, that was to be expected, though." Yoongi laughs. "There's a reason some of us don't tell Namjoon everything that's going on in our lives." He laughs. "He'd lose his mind if he ever got wind of some of the shit we do in our private time." He jokes.

"I mean, there's hardly something worse right now than one of his bandmates owning a fucking hybrid." Jungkook jokes, and Yoongi simply turns towards him with chopsticks in hand.

"Oh there is." He says, grinning boyishly. "Two of his bandmates owning a hybrid."

[mentesimploria]

you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. I’m pretty sure you’re not that fucked up or an asshole as you paint yourself to be - otherwise she wouldn’t be with you. now, I’m gonna take credit for you guys being madly in love, and as a gesture of gratitude please find me a girlfriend.

—————————————————-

hahaha if she saw this, she’ll tell you im an asshole. but i think she loves it that she’s the only one who can tame me… well she told me she likes it but i think she loves it. im just kind of doing everything to deserve her because i dont really deserve anybody(except her). my strengths also cause my greatest downfalls.

you can believe what you want and take credit for it if that’s what will make you happy. lol. <see? i dont really give a shit about other people’s opinion.i kind of hate it.> i think you’re very capable of finding yourself a girlfriend with your humor and flirting skills. lol.

should i keep in touch again when my girlfriend and i are married? lol. take care kid.

just a take on camren… did camren broke up bec c ended up questioning her feelings for the canadian during their shitshow and decided it “explore it” but later figured their feelings are the product of a situation and shawmila is nothing like camren? if lauren was the one who encouraged their shitshow and will just continue such things in the future, i think camila deserve better. not sure im even a camren shipper anymore. i hate the fakeness and corruptness of the world. i thrive on empathy and authenticity.

Ciao!

------------------------------------------------ yes, you’re cruel and mean.  but please let me know when you two get married. i’d believe Camila developed feeling for a tree but not for Shawn Mendes. lol i’ve been watching her podcasts/interview lately and i still can’t see her with a guy.  also, it’s funny how she has said more than once that she has been going on lots of dates and no one knows because they’re not famous or anything, but somehow i have to believe her and Matthew were a thing when no one knew who the fuck that guy was and yet they both were papped together in a desert beach. 

[kllrorca]

TLDR;

- Hai!!!! I'm Orca also now known as Mylo (bc the name is pretty and i wanna feel pretty :3) I'm an alter who's LITERALLY our host but I also have some fictionkins I'll need to regulate later on umm!!!!

- I age with the body and rn, we are 17 :3 I DON'T HAVE A DNI (beside the basic one!!) I'm just existing ^_^ I USE THEY/THEM!!!!!!!!

- I CAN'T FOLLOW BACK!! This is a side blog and even tho host doesn't use tumblr to post, ik he wouldn't want any proshippers in his following so I'm gna respect that :3 (feel free to follow me anywhere else that DOESN'T connect this type of stuff)

- I AM A PROSHIPPER AND PROFIC(??! I need to search more about it but it seems fun :3)

Tsdr [Too short didn't read];

ITS ME!!! - KllrOrca :3

— Mylo/Orca ; Minor ; They/Them ; Headmate

- SIDE BLOG. Other socials will be put later!

- I'm usually fronting, if I'm not fronting u have the permission to ask about me!! The host might not respond but sooner or later I will instead :3

- I am a proshipper & Profic, I'm still getting used to being public about it so I'll put emojis down at some point!!!

- We are bodily Black & Puerto Rican :3 I WILL make jokes eluding to racism and slavery with friends, its something I picked up and will NOT let go!!! If that makes u uncomfortable just tell me ^_^

— Activity Varies depending on how much people perceive me ^_^ If you dont perceive me I won't be on for long, since I'll be bored!

- I USE MY HOSTS ARTSTYLE THAT SEEMS EASY TO USE!! I don't want to hurt my hands OR make others think my host is a proshipper when he's not 😞 I wanna get in drama for ME not him srry

- Everyone has full permission to draw my sona and use my sona in anything EVEN hate drawings :3 I love everything!!!! Give it to meee ^q^

— I'M NOT EXACTLY AGENDER BUT I DON'T EXACTLY HAVE A GENDER EITHER!! I guess I AM agender but on a more feminine + masculine side without the neutral ??? I don't really care :3

- My sexuality is... idk!! I haven't thought about it

- I AM APART OF THE LGBT THOUFH!! I KNOW THAT :3 Idk if I'm pan, i don't think so and besides; I wanna be myself !!!

- ANY AGE CAN INTERACT WITH ME BUT DON'T BLAME ME FOR ANYTHING I AGE RESTRICTED!!

— HAI thw main blog to get to any OTHER blog IS strictly [ANTI PROSHIPPERS] + variations, so I can't send it here :3 incase any anti proshippers want it to date back to my host (who rlly just wants me to stop bothering him about everything) then dm me and I'll send it!!! idm ^w^

- I'll make a carrd/rentry/strawpage at some point :3 maybe :3 idk .. maybe I shouldn't but also Should once I have all my socials ready

MY BOUNDARIES [IK, SHOCKING!!]

— I don't have a dni (beside the basic one!!) :3 You can interact with me idc! Even if its for arguing! One thing I ask though is that u DON'T attempt to dox me, bc at the end of the day I can just stop fronting snd you'll be doxxing an innocent person instead who got so tired of hearing me yap and yap!!

- I won't be doing the time, my host will :3 and it'll only traumatize us more!!! Don't be stupid :D

- ACTUALLY don't harass ANYBODY!!!! u can Harass ME but don't harass anyone else PLEASE!!!! I won't like talking to u otherwise sorry

— JUST BECAUSE I'M AN ALTER DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY SYSTEM! Talk to me for me pls :3

- I DON'T CARE ABOUT SYSCOURSE UR ALL PEOPLE AT THE END OF THE DAY and I want people to talk to me ^_^ Talk to me Rachel...!! /ref

- IF YOU feel uncomfortable talking to me since im an alter (confusing but wtvr) DON'T FEEL FORCED TO INTERACT if I interact first :3

- Ai generators can kiss my ass also btw I don't like Ai but i can like the person typing the prompt in the computer if ur cool !!!!

MYYYY Final notes :3

— ANY ANON EMOJIS ARE WELCOMED TO ASK FOR A SPOT HERE OR A SPECIAL TAG :3 U can dm me and ask me abt things idm!! I have the mindset of NOT SENDING HARASSMENT OR hating on people who haven't done anything :3

- u can request me art from me :3 but know thay sending nsfw to minors IS illegal so I can't do nsfw!! sexual nsfw!

[ghost-of-the-machine]

ramble about my aromantic tendencies cuz im all. confused im SURE theres a word for this i just think im not ready??? i think like. not in a personal way, in a PHYSICAL way like something needs to change before id ever CONSIDER IT, makes me sick otherwise like theres so many things!! so many hurdles and stuff that would deter me from all that nonsense but i still like the idea of it like the idea is so sweet, its why i enjoy it so much in fiction but. in execution? IDK MAN.. freaks me out for so many reasons

romantic love is so cute bro like. its genuinely adorable to me, i love listening to love songs and just feeling the emotion and passion behind all the words, but ummmmmmm. i think realistically im capable? i just think that any attempt wouldnt go well, i dont think i can give someone what they might need, its always been like. okay 1. im going to be OBSESSED with you ill do anything you say ill let you mistreat and abuse me ill do anything for you okay which is not ideal!! not ideal, made for bad people dont want bad people. but?? on the other hand its also like i cant imagine loving another person more than i love my friends, but thats whats expected of me isnt it? i think they wouldnt like it very much if i had an equal amount but like. is it even possible? I REALLY DONT KNOW.. i know ive said it before, i just feel like. love, not platonic not romantic just LOVE pure unlabeled love. what kind of treatment would i give to a partner that i dont already give to my friends? itd go really wrong there im sure, i dont wanna hurt anybody yknow

idk its like such a cute little fantasy tho isnt it? maybe i meet someone and we become friends and then it leads to something more, is going on dates fun? maybe it would be but. i go on dates with my friends!!!!!! like is it different? i guess, but im out with someone i love i dont see how it could be much different

sometimes it feels like people like me dont get that. its hard to be good enough for someone else, like. i know theres like 8 billion people in the world but its always. im too fat im trans im not hot enough im too mentally ill im too awkward too. TOO EVERYTHING!! so on top of like. how can someone possible be more than what i already have, i have to be good enough too!!!!! so much work, i honestly. after brian, i was so content to just fall back on fictional characters, i know it sounds silly but self shipping LITERALLY saved my life i was hanging by a thread after him and then i found a coping mechanism that made me feel so good

i think its uncertainty, when it comes to fictional relationship? i make the rules, the scenarios, its perfect for me but. in real life you cant do that, im thrown in BLIND. i know its part of life, you learn and grow together but erm... im autistic please dont do this to me PLEASE if i plan out my conversation at a grocery store with the clerk and im STILL THROWN OFF... yeeowch!!

thats the thing im very offputting to other people like. something about me, i can see it in their eyes, see the way they kinda. like im. somethings all wrong with me!!!! they dont like it, i cant imagine myself being charming but.. maybe if i start T, ill be less. dreadfully anxious about seeing other people, then maybe ill flourish a little more. we'll see, it still freaks me out the thought of loving someone more than my friends like TO ME i dont think its possible and i dont want to find out about it okay it makes me sick it feels like betrayal, never tell me otherwise or ill feel awful, its betrayal to me!!!! cuz i want to give my friends the most i can give, they deserve it, so like. what, am i supposed to give less? give someone else more?? like ew who are you1!!! i dont need you i just need my besties thats all i need :] but its still a nice thought isnt it? its cute

i think i just have like a limit on the amount of people i can know at one time, ive always wanted more friends and i have more friends now!! sooo i dont realy need anyone else then? its very easy for me to feel satisfied with what i have, of course i am!!! grateful even!!!! so im like. it just doesnt matter so much to me. nice thought but i dont see it happening like i dont really WANT it to happen like i do but also. like. listen.

am i still gonna throw down to little love songs? absolutely yes sir!! to me tho like its feelings i can easily project onto my friends SKFJS like how me and my bestie kiss eachother on the head okay. because i loooooove them, its so easy because i love them!! its a love song, i dont care what kind of love its made for, i feel love and ill hear it how i want :] ITS. its some weird social bullshit okay, who says we cant? who says we cant go on little friend dates and kiss and hug and be in love with eachother while also being JUST friends? WHO SAYS!!!! its what i dont get, theres some disconnect between romantic and platonic love that i dont see at all. why should one be more valued than the other? hogwash okay its gobbledygook its. nonsense!!! im glad i dont see it that way, the hard part is finding other people who also dont see it that way, i realize my feelings on it arent STANDARD.. still, im satisfied. i have a lot of love to give and im always allowed to give it, isnt that so wonderful?

[baizhuo]

#BAIZHUO . ❛ is it really selfish of me to defy the inevitable ? ❜

🐍🌺 . carrd . doc . home .

a private & highly selective HEADCANON based BAIZHU of genshin impact ; written by GHOST ( 27 , they / them ) . activity will always be selectively low . this blog is UNAFFILIATED to the genshin impact community & is crossover FRIENDLY to any mixed media .

IMPORTANT UPDATES BELOW .

🐍 Leaks & Spoilers

Tag your LEAKS or i will unfollow.

I don't care about content that is already found within the game. I am fine with stuff that is already available to play. I am talking about content that is yet to come. The new update information and patch notes are already on thin ice most of the time and i am not overly fond about it but what I really don't enjoy is rumours about the game. Stuff that isn't really 100 percent confirmed.

if you don't understand this, then to put it simply. do NOT talk about anything that ISN'T found within the game. if its something you can find in the game and it's available then I'm chill about it.

Of course this doesnt include like.... personal HCs and whatnot.

🐍 notifications & tags  

tumblr does not notify me of any @ ’ s . you can @ me if you would like , it pops up on the activity page , i just do not get notified directly / immediately , so i will not see your notif right away . my dash is relatively slow , often , so i read that like the morning paper , but i also am not frequent enough on here to always know .

this also goes for anybody who tags me in things . the tumblr tagging system does not pick up most ( if not all ) posts with my url . i cannot use the tag tracking system . at all . i never have been able . i do not know why either i am sorry !

if you want to notify me of something or bring to my attention something / a reply, please dm me directly ! it is also better if you dm me in discord . if you do not have my discord , then you can use the tumblr dms ( but they are not always great either ) . if push comes to shove , you can then use my inbox as well , i will not mind if you get my attention like that either !

know that the only thing i do see / notice are likes & reblogs of posts that are on my blog . so that is fine . i don’t need notifications for threads as much .

i promise you it is okay i love getting messages . i just tend to hyperfocus A LOT at times while other times i cannot focus at all & i get really distracted with my squirrel brain . it is okay to gently remind me of something or try to get my attention ! i know many people don’t like that , which is why i don’t do it to others , but i 100 % promise you that it is okay .

🐍 about spoilers

i actually don’t pay attention to genshin spoilers or the videos that come out for them right way . i try to actively avoid them tbh . if it isnt in the game directly , then i don’t really perceive it . if I happen to come across it , then cool , but otherwise ... please refrain from directly telling me / showing spoilers that are NOT in the game . i dont mind if its spoilers that are already IN the game . 

but for upcoming content that isn’t found in the game , please assume that i don’t know wtf is coming into the game , & assume that i don’t actively look for these patch notes , because i really dont . there is a reason why i dont look this stuff up . i am somebody that wants to enjoy the game for what it already has & not what it will have .

🐍 i do modify my formatting for people on request !

if my formatting for your replies / threads bothers you in any way , shape , or form , please tell me . i promise that i can accommodate you . i format AFTER i write the entire reply anyway . so it will not be a bother for me if you dont want to have that . i have friends who have asked in the past . 

i use small font and edit html for the colour . if any of this bothers you ( be it cause you genuinely cannot read it or you dont like it ) , please let me know & i will modify it for you .

* you are always more than welcome to send asks if you have any questions *

[watchfuleyeleans]

omggggggggg please don't headbang in the shower anymore then xD I've never headbanged (that's a weird verb) but I def sing in the shower too. what do you like to sing?? and do you think you're good at it?? I'm totally shite at controlling my voice tbh i feel like I'm always either whispering or screaming no inbetween - anon friend

aye i learned my lesson T_____T sometimes the metal spirit just possesses ye, yknow

whispering and screaming are good, dont let anybody tell ye otherwise. it's like yer a wee supernatural creature who communicates yer own way. what do ye like tae sing?

as for me i like meself some metal of many subgenres tbh, like i listen tae some symphonic metal, some gothic rock/metal that @365lasochraide has introduced me, some classic heavy metal my cousin showed me when i was small lol. also japanese stuff like visual kei and vocaloid, esp their creepy songs >:D im sorta mediocre at it all tho, esp with japanese my pronunciation isnt horrible but i still stumble plenty xdxd

[elynalime]

why enchanted is the most francois coded song

STOP ITS ME HI IM THE SWIFTIE IVE BEEN SUMMONED

THIS IS MY JOB

okay okay okay so

" there i was again tonight , forcing laughter faking smiles , same old tired lonely place " so starting off , it takes place at a party which is where may and francois first met !! and for ' lonely ' , may has said ( and this is one of my absolute favorite quotes from them which says a lot because theyre my comfort character and i have a lot of fav quotes from them ) " i just need to accept that some things arent going to happen for me " , and justin david sullivan has also said in an interview that when they were younger , they thought that to make it work they would just have to give up love , and the same goes for may , hence ' lonely ' .

" walls of insincerity , shifting eyes and vacancy , vanished when i saw your face " francois obviously wasnt interested in anybody at the party cause he had already met all of them and he didnt like them , but he had to pretend because otherwise lance would send him to the army , so insincerity , shifting eyes && vacancy

" your eyes whispered ' have we met ? ' " after francois helped may fix their circlet ( which im still squealing about ) , francois asked " sorry , but have i seen you before ? " , aka have we met before

" like passing notes in secrecy " they had to keep what they had secret , especially from lance cause francois was scared he wouldnt approve , and he and juliet were already engaged

" and it was enchanting to meet you , all i can say is i was , enchanted to meet you " really self explanatory , especially in the bathroom when may was telling juliet about francois and they say

" this night is sparkling dont you let it go " okay this is kinda a small detail and really set focused but but but . in the scene before the wedding , when may and francois sing whataya want from me , theres a tree . with a lot of lamps . that makes it really sparkly and bright . THIS NIGHT IS SPARKLING . also in whataya want from me , one of the lyrics that may sings is " please dont give up " , which is kinda a parallel to " dont you let it go " THE PARALLELS IM SCREAMING

" the lingering question kept me up , 2am who do you love ? " okay this is kinda a far reach but firstly 2am talks about time , and before the first maycois kiss ( still screaming ) , may offers a francois a shot and francois mentions that its still really early so time . okay anyways , also , " who do you love " is basically like the whole whataya want from me because may is begging francois to choose between them and juliet and asking francois who he loves

" these are the words i held back , as i was leaving too soon " during the wedding , after francois says that he kissed may and liked it , he said " i shouldve called things back last night but i was under so much pressure " - THE WORDS HE HELD BACK .

" please dont be in love with someone else , please dont have somebody waiting on you " may begging francois to please please please choose them over juliet , to not go through with the wedding . when the house band performs at the beginning of the wedding , may also sings " am i the only one " - they want to be the one ( hehe the 1 iykyk ) , for francois to not have somebody else , to not be in love with anyone else

thats pretty much it but sntv is so purple and may is hundred percent purple

ALSO ALL THE PARALLELS ARE UNPARALLELED ASJDFKJADSFKLSADLFJA;SLFK

@thetisming hope this helped !

hey guys. Reggie here. i've been listening to Enchanted for about three hours straight trying to put into words why it's a maycois song. here it is:

the start. right. the start is about a party, right? and like. being at a party and faking smiles and whatnot. and being at another fucking party. and then seeing a person and being like 'oh, shit, this just became a little bit better, okay'. you know, like Frankie

there's. more. but like. i don't know how to word things. so. but like the lyric about "who do you love" and "wishing you were at my door". thats. after Whataya Want From Me. thats Francois about May

speak now is a purple album

i'm so fucking sorry guys i'm terrible at words. can someone else word it for me please

[kirishimaswife2819]

Them Comforting Their S/o During a Panic Attack || Midoriya, Bakugou, and Todoroki

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Reader, and Shoto Todoroki x Reader

Requested by Anonymous: hi :) brief warning for: mentions of depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and tics in a few days i start school irl again, and i have severe depression and social anxiety which makes it a living hell for me because i get 0 support from anyone🙂 my friends tell me to get over myself, but they really dont understand how hard it is since i found out we were going back ive been having panic attacks and more aggressive tics, if it isn’t too troublesome may i please have bakugo, todoroki and deku (you can cut deku if its too much) comforting their s/o after a bad panic attack? if you aren’t comfortable writing this, i understand, have a nice day and be good to yourself❤️ thank you in advance

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Panic attacks

A/n: Okay, so I generally upload requests in the order that receive them in, but I felt like you’d probably want this done before you actually went back to school. I did a bit of research on panic attacks, because I don’t have much experience with them, so I hope I represented it accurately. And as I am now rereading this request I realized that you requested them comforting you afterwards (I wrote it as during instead of afterwards) but I wrote the whole thing before realizing that, so I hope that’s fine (if it isn’t then just send in another request and I’ll get it done asap, I’m just a dumbass who clearly can’t read right). Also, get new friends, your current ones sound kind of sucky. Another thing, if you ever need to vent or anything like that, you can message me, I don’t mind, I’m not the best at giving advice (maybe I am idk), but I’m a good listener. Other than that, thanks for requesting! I hope you enjoy these! -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

Throughout your relationship, Izuku has done a ton of research on panic attacks and how to help (he has a few notebook pages on it), and he really worries if he finds out that you had one and he wasn’t around to help, so he stays by your side as often as possible, unless you tell him that you want him to do otherwise

You have previously told him a few things that lead to a panic attack for you and he tries his best to help you avoid any setting that may trigger a panic attack, but even he’s not perfect, and he can’t stop a certain trigger

Izuku was trying to calm himself down, as he watched you begin to panic, he knew this wasn’t about him, and he mentally scolded himself for starting to panic, because he thought that he had no right to panic when you’re the one having a full on panic attack

After he sees the first tear fall from your eyes, he’s immediately snapped back into reality and he’s speaking to you

“May I hold you, Y/n?” He asked, and when you nodded, he pulled you into his arms

His face grew red at the action, but he had no time to spare being embarrassed or flustered, not when you were in this state

“I want to help you, Y/n. Will you let me help you?”

After he heard a small but loud enough to hear, “Yes” he spoke again

“Okay, just breathe, alright? It’s going to be okay, you’ll be fine. Here, breathe will me. I’m right here.”

It took a bit of effort, and a lot of comforting, but eventually Izuku had managed to calm you down and your breathing slowly returned to normal

After a few minutes of letting you get used to breathing normally and not being in a panic attack, Izuku kissed your cheek and spoke again, “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m alright, Izuku. Thank you.”

Katsuki Bakugou:

Okay, so if it would have been anybody else, he would have told them to fuck off and get over it themselves, but he just couldn’t stand seeing you so upset and panicking

He’s not really sure what he’s supposed to do, since he’s not the best at comforting, but he couldn’t just stand there when you started having a panic attack during class

He was freaking out and he was doing a very poor job at hiding it, he had no idea what to do

He probably would have continued panicking if Izuku didn’t yell at him, “Kacchan, help them! They wouldn’t want anybody else to.”

Katsuki just sort of approached you as you were panicking in your seat, while some students were trying to comfort you verbally, but it wasn’t helping much, and he helped you stand, before leading you out of the room

Once you were out in the hallway, Katsuki had you sit down, and he held your hands, trying to think of what he should

He remembered you telling him about panic attacks and you had almost told him what to do if you ever had one, but somebody interrupted and the two of you forgot about it

“Hey, it’s okay,” he finally said, “I’m right here. You’re safe. Do you want me to hold you?”

After a nod of approval through your sobs, he pulled you into his arms and held you there for a while

He rested his head on top of yours and whispered things along the lines of “It’ll all be okay” or “Just breathe with me” to you

He ignored everybody that happened to be walking by, that stared at the two of you

“Are you alright now?” Katsuki questioned, moving his head to the side so he could see your expression

Your breathing had calmed down and you weren’t sobbing anymore, just trying to calm down and catch your breath

“I think so,” you replied

“Okay, let’s just stay here for a minute, okay?” 

“Okay.”

Shoto Todoroki:

After you told him that you had panic attacks, he did his research on them, so that he could help you if he needed to

He works really hard to figure out what triggers a panic attack for you, and he works hard to avoid you having a panic attack, but things still happen

You had just been hanging out with Midoriya, Uraraka, and Tsuyu, when you suddenly starting having trouble breathing

“Y/n, are you okay?” Uraraka asked, being the closest to you, and the first person to notice your breathing, gaining the attention of Tsuyu and Midoriya

Midoriya’s eyes went wide when he heard your breathing, and saw tears starting to stream down your cheeks, “I think they’re having a panic attack.”

“What do you need, Y/n?” Uraraka asked, turning to you

“Shoto,” you replied, barely processing the question, but you did, “I need S-Shoto.”

“Tsu, can you go get Todoroki?” Uraraka asked, as she comfortingly ran her hand up and down your arm

Tsuyu got up and left, after confirming that she would do it, before going to find Shoto

She found him training with some of the other boys, and told him what was going on, and he immediately started towards your room, where Uraraka and Midoriya were attempting to calm you down

Immediately after entering, Shoto approached you and Uraraka and Midoriya backed up to give you two some space

“I’m here now, love,” Shoto said, “Can you hear me?”

Once you nodded, he turned to the other people in the room and gestured for them to leave

They were hesitant to leave, but they did, leaving you and Shoto alone

You were sitting on the bed, and Shoto was kneeling on the floor in front of you, holding your hands

“It’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe, can you try to breathe with me?”

You nodded and tried to match his breathing, and he comforted you as you started to calm down, and come back from the panic attack

Once your breathing had calmed, you spoke, “I’m okay now.”

After hearing those words, Shoto immediately engulfed you in a huge hug, which he would have done previously, but he didn’t want to overwhelm you

“Thank you,” you mumbled in his chest, as you hugged him back

“You’re welcome, let me know if this happens again, alright?” Shoto asked, and he felt you nod back into his chest

[unnerving-presence]

On my shit again, you get more Caleb fluff headcanons as a result -

Caleb's the absolute definition of 'ride or die' (cowboy pun intended) He doesn't give two shits what happens, he's sticking around until the absolute end unless you tell him otherwise or betray him in some way. Oh you have horrible mood swings? That's okay bbgworl so does he. Lowkey kinda crazy? That's foine shawty it makes you so quirky and not like other girls. Man's a simp, what do you expect

With that being said, I also believe that Caleb is one of the more patient killers in a relationship despite his short temper. He's surprisingly tolerant to a lot of bullshit, and while he'll call anyone pissing him off out right away it takes a lot for them to really get to him yk

ALSO on the topic of his short temper, it doesn't matter how angry Caleb is, he would never hurt his S/O purposefully outside of a trial (unless consent was given, if you're into that) If he accidentally hurt them, while upset or not, I feel like he'd definitely be fucked up for a while.

Once he realizes what he did, he'd probably be terrified of touching you unless you initiate it, and once you make it known that you're not upset and you're okay with him touching you he just kinda... holds you for a while. During so, he's just whispering apologies nonstop, I genuinely don't believe he in any way wants to hurt his S/O and it pains him to even do it during trials.

After he's done feeling bad (for the most part) he'd probably try and get you to hurt him somehow, eye for an eye kind of thing. I had a family member that accidentally slapped me when we walked into each other and wouldn't let me walk away until I slapped him back, I feel like he'd probably try and do the same thing. (If you do slap him, please mind the jaw)

i am not complaining at all i love hearing yalls hcs also long ass post below lol

caleb always gave me arthur morgan/micah bell vibes?? that first hc just sorta reminded me of how dedicated arthur was to his gang and it just reminds me of caleb all the time ajhfdjksf (I'm so obsessed w rdr2 rn so feel free to send in any asks relating to it even tho this is a dbd blog LMAO)

i think caleb only gets a temper when people intentionally try to get on his nerves or if he messes up on something too much. i think anybody would be angered by betrayal, so i dont think he'd have too much of a temper other than him getting smacked on the head by pallets and simply making a mistake. i wouldnt be surprised if he was bipolar tbh

i completely agree with caleb not hurting you. sure, he kills people, but that doesn't mean he would intentionally hurt you. caleb respects you and never believes you are deserving of pain. i also feel like caleb thinks its immature to hit someone just because their emotions get the best of them, so he doesn't want to hurt you just because hes angry at you (he's a little bit of a hypocrite cause he'd def rock someones shit if they tried to talk shit abt you)

if caleb does hurt you accidentally or not (if its not on accident its probably one of those RARE times his anger takes control) he would probably distance himself for your safety. he'd definitely scold himself for it too. i feel like caleb likes to hide certain emotions from you so you can worry about yourself and not him, so you might not even know he's feeling guilty about it. he knows it makes him seem like an ass if he doesn't say anything, so he will confirm that he will do better and that he knows he did wrong

[bethchapelsbonnet]

I Dont remember if it Was on you're Ways to Tell ILY Prompt list but might I suggest a "I Choose you" Hournite One shot?

I didn't see you interact with the original submission I answered, so I included it here

I Choose You

All of the fuss that Beth went through to try to compile each and every piece of evidence that someone may need in order to get Rick the heck out of that place was simply... Well - it was actually exhausting, but she never realized until she was at the end of her days.

The database was always excellent and as the official Dr. Mid-Nite, she had access to even more information.

Not what she truly needed - to be able to actually speak to Rick. To assess how he was doing. To at least hold his hand, which.. she was conflicted about that one in particular. She didn't understand why that idea kept coming to her when she and Rick never actually really touched each other that way.

Casually - pats on the back or holding each other back in a fight, but nothing so intimate as hand holding. Maybe it was her renewed self confidence. She had chosen herself. And now, she was choosing Rick. 

They didn't allow any of them to see him. He was currently being held at a juvenile center, assigned a caseworker and a child advocate attorney, with an ongoing investigation about his uncle and his home life. But, Beth found out the names of everyone involved in his case and she was sending them documents, school reports, and everything that she could scrape up to prove that Rick was in a dangerous household and had been abused and mistreated. 

It was her hope that they would all see it was self defense and go easy on him. Courtney and Pat had tried to explain to her that Eclipso was controlling him. It wasn't self defense. It was just a terrible mind game.

Not too long ago, they were pressing her to accept murdering a bad guy… but suddenly, when it's THIS bad guy… who didn't even DIE, they were willing to accept Rick turning himself in and being put away? "It's what Rick wanted, to be held accountable.."

"He didn't DO it! It was Eclipso!" Beth had snapped at Courtney. Courtney's eyes went wide and she got quiet. Of course she knew that and she didn't deserve Beth being rude with her, either, but Beth was too frustrated to tell herself that at the moment and Rick wasn't around…

She called him anyway, as she stormed out. 

"Rick!" She took a deep breath, "You don't deserve to be held responsible for something that you didn't do wrong!" She noticed Courtney in the corner of her eye and whispered, "There's nothing you need to be held accountable for and I'm working on helping you get out. Just… I hope you aren't too hard on yourself." She hung up and looked at Courtney.

"I watched him run around, hallucinating, breaking down as he was attacked by something that we couldn't see… it was like with Yolanda, only someone did get hurt. I didn't want to have to see that again and it wasn't easy to let Rick confess, but what else could we do? What would you have done differently?"

Beth wanted to say that she wouldn't have let him out of her sight, that she would have talked to him until he was back down to Earth..  but as a firm believer in herself, some part of her knew that Courtney didn't have that type of power. Beth was the one who could stop Rick in his tracks and make him think for a moment. 

"What about when you see a dead 10 year old girl? Would you have been able to use your head in that moment and stop him from reacting?"

Beth sniffled and wiped her face, "If I was here, I know that I could have fixed this. I know that I could have talked him down. He listens to me. It's different with us. And with Eclipso… it's personal now."

.

Rick heard about an "adorable but incredibly annoying" girl who spoonfed a lot of information to his case worker and his advocate. They didn't have to describe her. He did initially automatically think Courtney, since that was who saw him last on the outside and that's who annoyed him more than any girl he knew…

But when they spoke about legal documents, school incidents and cases and studies of similar cases..  He knew that they meant Beth. A lot of her findings needed to be double checked by the proper authorities and his advocate would need to speak with a judge, but it was looking like Rick may be entitled to psychological treatment from years of abuse that resulted in him finally lashing back.

He wanted to argue with that, but in a way.. that felt like some type of hope and he couldn't say there wasn't truth in it. Whatever Beth had done, he finally felt some peace of mind, since coming here…

.

The court order to grant him a placement took shorter than he thought, even though it still felt super long. The Chapels weren't foster parents, but thanks to some… creative documentation on Beth's part, they were able to be listed as family friends to whom custody could be signed over.

He would be trying for emancipation, but in the meantime, he had a place to sleep and eat and stuff… and Beth was there.

"How did you manage to pull this off?" Rick wondered, more confused than grateful, but she didn't take it to heart. She smiled and tapped her goggles. "Of course…" he stared at his bags on the floor. "Did you get the full story?"

"I got Courtney and Pat's side of it. You don't have to tell me, but in your own time, if you want to, you can." She handed him some mail, "I filled out your paperwork and sent it in. You've gotten at least one response."

"My paperwork?"

She winced, "I totally trespassed into your car and home, scanning everything and looking for something to help me. I traced punched in walls, I took an inventory of the alcohol in there, you name it. I also found the forms that you had for college and financial aid. I took them with me, but also wondered what they were doing there. So I checked on cell phone records and saw that Miss Woods-" she rolled her eyes when she said her name. (She wasn't fond of how cruelly that woman had treated Rick, and she didn't mind saying so), "Had been there. I figured she was the one who gave those to you, went to pay her a visit and questioned her until she told me about what happened earlier. She had seen your uncle and he was belligerent and drinking. I told her that I would speak to your advocate in order to see if that was usable information. It was. She made for a very dependable character reference."

Rick looked stunned. He didn't know what to say, but eventually landed on, "Why am I at your house and not at Pat's? I don't even know your parents and they probably aren't pleased about what happened." 

"Well, I believe that I've managed to do quite the PR campaign for you when I was making my rounds to see if anybody had recollection of witnessing your uncle be unkind to you. A lot of people have been quiet about things that they should have spoken up about… myself included.." she lowered her head, "I noticed bruises on you sometimes at lunch when we weren't friends and I guessed that they weren't from some school fight, otherwise, the school would know." She looked up at him and her eyes were brimming with tears, "All of us made choices to mind our business and just leave you to fend for yourself. Everybody's been feeling pretty guilty that it came to… that.."

She cleared her throat, "There's enough going on at Courtney's house, and Yolanda's isn't an option. I couldn't let you wind up at the group home. Artemis is there. The last time you two saw each other, you almost killed one another. I thought my home was the best choice. It's safe, there's just me here. My parents believed me when I vouched for you, so they would be acting like wardens or anything, and I just… I feel better knowing that if something happens, I'll be there."

He sat down on the guest bed and twiddled his thumbs, "That's just it. If something happens, I… I no longer have the hourglass. I won't be able to protect you fully."

"I can protect myself," she said, sitting next to him. "Just wait until you hear my Eclipso story."

"Your what?"

"He attacked me the same time that he attacked you…" Rick looked terrified as he checked her over for damages. "It's a long story, but I'm fine. It went very differently for me than it did for you." She looked sad for a moment. I think he must've known."

He was confused. Beth looked him in the eyes through her goggles, "That we protect each other. That you fight for me and I fight for you. I felt so victorious when I was able to take my goggles back from me and solidify my place on the team… the. I found out he had gotten to my Rick…" 

His heart jumped in his chest and he stared at her. He reached for her goggles but she shook her head and he withdrew his hands. "It wasn't anything to do with you."

"No, but had I been there…"

"Then you could have gotten hurt or had to see me become the very kind of monster that I hate!" 

She furrowed her eyebrows and she grabbed his hand, harder than she meant to, but that demanded his attention and he stared at her face, "If I had been there, you would've had the extra strength you needed to see through him. I wouldn't have let you fight. Please believe me when I say that I'm sure I could have talked some sense into you. I could have saved you from thinking that you're a monster. Because you aren't a monster, Rick. You're a kid who was in a situation that most of us can't fathom, and when you needed me, I wasn't there." He started crying and shook his head. "I'll understand if you want to stay with Mr. Dugan instead…"

"No. No.."He had told Grundy that day that he just needed someone to care about him, to be kind to him, and he could be alright. Rick was so caught up in the stress of his uncle, he hadn't thought about how he did have someone like that. He had his friends, the Dugans, and he had Beth. She had done all of this, because she felt like she'd failed him. Like she was supposed to protect him. She wasn't obligated to do that, but the fact that she wanted to, that she tried to. 

Hell, she was even correct about being able to talk him down. He didn't know if she could have that night, but as much as she meant to him… he couldn't rule out that what if. He collected her hand to his heart and said extremely softly, "I choose you." 

@futurewriterwannebe

[fairycosmos]

lmao im actually so desperate to die im considering swallowing two peach pits just to see if i will choke to death because nothing else ive tried has worked so far . you know what my life doesnt fucking matter ill do it. with my luck it wont work i feel im being punished and thats why i cant die. ill do it. if i dont get back to you something happened but i doubt it. im tired like you said i deserve peace. we do. bye maybe i hope this works this is pathetic but im desperate to die

hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. it seems like you're totally overwhelmed right now and i completely understand how debilitating that can be. i know there's nothing i can do or say that will really change how awful it feels, and you're probably not in the headspace to read all this. but if you ever want to come back to it, it'll be here. maybe you could try some of these grounding exercises, here / here and here beforehand to get you in a place where you can focus a little. it's alright, there's no rush or pressure. i just wanted to say first of all that this is not pathetic in the slightest. sometimes the world gets on top of you and you go througn so much trauma and hurt that it really does feel like giving up is the only option. people can only take so much, and i get it. that's the trick of the suicidal brain though, i think. it uses life's suffering and your own past experiences to convince you that it is always going to be this way. to romanticize death and make it into something it isn't in your head. it is actually very hard to die, as i'm sure you know. and it's not the peaceful option or escape you're looking for, either. and the most paramount thing i want to say is that your life 100% does matter. this was never up for debate. you were born with an inherent worth and it hasn't went away just because you can no longer see it. you honestly can't fathom how you've impacted peoples lives, directly and indirectly, and even just the world itself. you don't have to be anybody but who you are, i promise, the whole point is just having the human experience you're having. you're fulfilling your purpose by existing, no matter how hard it is at times. i think it's a good sign that you reached out to me, i honestly think it shows that you have a lot of self awareness regarding what's going on and that you're truly capable of asking for the help that you need. you're not in a place right now where you can trust your thoughts and feelings, so it's good to seek an objective perspective from somebody else. this state of mind is so transient, it's so intense that it's not built to last. i'm not trying to downplay how unbelievably hard to live with, of course, but it can be freeing to acknowledge that this is not all there is, no matter how difficult it is to endure currently. you deserve to be here and to exist in a way that heals you, no matter what your mind is telling you. there can be a variety of underlying causes for suicidal feelings, and obviously they're very serious issues that need real medical attention in order to begin to overcome. but with that and with time, it is totally possible to learn to live a full live along side all you've been through. even though right now i'm sure that's the lastthhing on earth you want to do.

are you currently working with a mental health professional of any sort? your doctor, a therapist, a support group, even a hotline? if not, i would really urge you to get in touch with them as soon as possible. and if you already are, let them know where your thoughts are at lately so they can focus on upping your level of care. if you're worried about money, there are cost-effective choics available, like finding a therapist who offers a sliding scale price, or looking into mental health resources within your community. i know your brain is probably screaming at you to do the opposite, but i promise any baby step in the right direction is going to pay off. the prospect of reaching out and being honest is a daunting one, and i'm only bringing it up as something to consider at the moment (or when you feel able to) so please don't write it off all together. you don't have to do anything right now, just know you have options. you honestly do. and talking to someone really is not as bad as your brain is probably building it up to be. just like with physical illness, mental illness can be confronted and treated. it's all about learning how to manage your unique mind, and even if it takes a lifetime, it is so possible to lessen the frequency of episodes like this. or to become more prepared for them so they feel less erratic when they do occur. discussing about what you've been through, pinpointing root causes of your suicidal thoughts, learnng how to implement healthy coping mechanisms into your daily routine, building a support system, finding the medication for you if needed - all of this is going to make a tangible difference. it is not going to fix everything, obviously, but it is going to lighten the weight and broaden your perspective on yourself and on living. you deserve to be supported without judgement and with genuine care, you deserve to be listened to. there are a lot of people, professionals or otherwise, even just strangers like me, who are willing to filling that role for you.

idk how it is for you and i won't pretend to, but sometimes suicidal people don't want to lose their lives, they just want to stop living the way they are. with so much chaos and unresolved pain and exhaustion. you don't have to hurt yourself in order to get there. i know when you're in this mindset, any even slightly positive piece of advice just feels impossible to believe. but even if you can't seriously take it on board at the moment, i hope when you're in a more grounded place, you can at least consider as an alternative to absolute hopelessness. you may as well, because you are alive and that is not always going to feel like a curse. it is so hard to believe it, i get that, but it is a fundamental truth. you are in an extremely difficult moment but that is not your whole existence. the future is ever changing, and you've already made it through the past, so the only thing that really matters is this moment. focus on what you need, not what you want, but what you need to do right now to truly self - prioritize. even if that feels like the last thing on earth you want do. if self destruction and self harm was gonna make you feel better, it would've by now. welcome the idea of trying something new, maybe just the notion of attempting to guide yourself through this with a bit of self-compassion. please, if you feel like you are an immediate danger to yourself, please exercise any sense of self preservation/ survival instinct and call the authorities, a hotline or a friend/family member right away. no matter what bullshit your brain is telling you, no matter how heavy your heart is right now . everything is always always always changing and things are going to change beyond recognition, it's the one thing you can count on. you deserve to stick around to see it all, and once you've made the decision to do so, you won't feel so stuck and conflicted anymore. i'm going to leave some links that i think might help a little in this moment, but like i said, please call someone if you feel you can't be alone right now. i'm rooting for u a lot and i really hope you are able do the right thing for yourself. if it's all too hard, focus on getting through the next hour. if that's too much, the next minute. and if that's too much, the next second. break it down into what you can handle and let yourself live. and then just go from there. sending you all my love.

list of hotlines

coping with depression

coping with suicidal thoughts

so you feel like shit?

template for creating a safety plan

[symphonicmetal101]

Babysitting in the Devildom- Meet the Tykes

The screaming stopped as soon as you stepped in the room. Familiar, yet chubbier, less intimidating, and smaller faces filled the room.

"Who are you?" A voice came from the kitchen entrance. A young boy, about 10 or 11 stood there with green hair swooping down his forehead just before his eyes. You realized with a start that the kid was Barbatos. Behind him, you could see Simeon, who must have been about 8, holding a bundle of wriggling cloth. The other demons had stopped fighting and were watching you, Solomon, and Barbatos. After getting over your intial shock, you walk over towards the kitchen to relieve poor Simeon from holding Luke. As you took him, you turned to face the rest of the demons.

"My name is MC. I'm....I'm your babysitter. That over there is Solomon. He's going to be a helper." Solomon nodded and joined you in front of the little ones.

There was a moment of silence, and then Diavolo stepped forward.

"It's very nice to meet you MC, Solomon. I'm Prince Diavolo of the Devildom. Did my father organise this? He said that I should make some friends, but I didn't think....i didn't think I needed supervision."

"Yup! He sure did, but he's going to be on business duties for a while. I'm here mostly to keep you guys from hurting yourselves and each other. As well as make sure you eat."

Diavolo stared at you for a moment.

"Well, thank you. I guess we should get to know each other know, right?" He whirled on his heel to face the brothers

"Wait! Why am I here? Why is he here? What's going on?!" Simeon started to panic. "You're all demons, I'm an angel. Did I do something wrong? What did I do wrong? I swear I'll repent! I'll never do it again!! MC why am I here?? Do you know why?? Did I do something...sinful?" His voice dropped to a whisper, his pleading, tearing eyes looking up at you. You handed Luke over to Soloman, and got down to look Simeon in the eyes. You gently cupped his face, he grabbed your hand and leaned into it, letting himself cry freely. You could hear the other boys start to stir.

"I guess not all angels belong in heaven, huh?"

Simeon crumpled to the floor, sobbing. You shot a warning look towards the boys, not entirely sure which one had said it. "Why don't you guys go play a game?" You wanted them to leave you and Simeon alone long enough for you to comfort him properly.

"Why should we listen to you? You don't even know our names." Lucifer came forward, arms crossed, chest puffed, and a slight pout. "I'm the oldest of my brothers, so I do what I want to do. And they listen only to me and what I say."

"Well, what do you want to do?" You ask.

"I want to play a game."

"Good idea. You, Diavolo, and Barbatos are in charge."

The demons left.

"...didn't you sugget they play a gane in the first place?" Solomon asked.

You ignored him for the moment and wrapped Simeon up in your arms and held him close.

"Simeon... you dont have to look at me, but please listen when I say this. You have done nothing wrong. Dont think about what they said. Diavolos father and God had a chat about trying to make friends across realms. They thought that younger kids would be more able to get along. But they needed someone who was strong, brave, kind, creative, funny, friendly, and who would always try their best and never give up." Simeon tilted his head up to look at you. Wiping tears wih the palms of his hands and sniffling, he said, "so...I was chosen because they...they think I'm all those things? Do you think I'm all those things?" You hugged him closer to your chest. "Nope. I know you're everything they said and more." You would have stayed that way a while longer, but Mammon came bursting in.

"THERE'S ANOTHER BABY AND IT'S TRYING TO KILL LUCIFER, IT CAME OUT OF BELPHIES BLANKET PLEASE COME HELP HIM! IT'S SO FAST, IT WENT NYOOM! LIKE THIS, AND THEN BAM, LIKE THAT, AND NOW IT'S LIKE NOM WAH NOM WAH AND LUCIFER DOESN'T WANT TO HURT IT BUT IT WON'T STOP PULLING HIS HAIR AND POKING HIS EYES, PLEASE COME HELP!"

You were on your feet before he had finished reenacting his scene, and holding Simeon's hand, you rushed to see what was going on.

Oh... oh

Lucifer was battling a small, screaming green ball of fury, looking very disheveled and confused. He was in his demon form, so his younger brothers had taken refuge behind Barbatos, except for the twins, who were on the opposite side of the room. Beel was chewing on Belphie's blanket, Belphie was sitting up watching, giggling, and clapping. Diavolo kept trying to approach Lucifer.

"NO get away from me you little- hey you too Diavolo! I don't need any help! O-OW! STOP THAT, BABY! WHAT DID I DO?? NO, DIAVOLO I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! I DON'T NEED ANYBODY'S HELP! I CAN DO IT BY MYSE- OW!

You walked over, and after gently uncurling his fingers, you managed to get Satan off of Lucifer. Satan wasn't very happy with that, and started kicking and screaming in your arms...until you said the magic word.

"CATS! Do want to see some cats?"

Solomon shot you a questioning look, but you pulled out your D.D.D and searched for "Funny Cat Videos".

"...meow?" Satan looked at you for the first time without a hint of anger in his eyes. "Meow." You responded affirmatively. You gave him your D.D.D, and then turned to look at the remainder if the boys.

"....ok. I'm not going to ask what happened or who exactly was involved. We're just going to try again, ok? Now-"

"Wait! We still don't know their names!" Simeon had gained some confidence back. "...actually, how did you know my name? I never told you." You quickly gave Solomon a mischievous glance.

"I can read minds." You turned to look at the other boys again.

"Oh yeah? What's my name?"

Mammon strolled up to you, hands on his hips, chest puffed and with a huge, cocky smile.

"You're Mammon, the second eldest. You like anything shiny, and you don't like sharing." Mammon's face was priceless. You hadn't said much, but it was enough to convince him that you were the coolest person he had ever met. "Ok. You can stay."

You laughed internally, and continued to interact with the other boys...until you realized that Lucifer was missing.

"Has anyone seen Lucifer?"

"Oh, yeah. After you got that baby off him he walked away down that hallway." Mammon replied offhandedly.

This concerned you. "Ok everybody, Solomon is going to do a magic show!"

Solomon seemed a little surprised. He came up to you and whispered, "I thought I should get working on dinner. Are you sure you want me to...play with them?" "Yes, I'm sure. Just make sure my D.D.D isn't close to dying otherwise Satan may not take well to that. I'll only be a few minutes, then I'll get to work on dinner." Your comment about Satan seemed to be enough to convince Solomon to stay.

You started making your way down the hallway when a small hand took yours. You looked down to see Diavolo. He pulled your hand gently. "I need to tell you something without anyone else hearing." You knelt down so that he could whisper in your ear. "I know you lied about my dad. What's actually going on?" You facepalmed internally, for having forgotten about Diavolo's ability to discern the truth from lies. You chose your next words carefully.

"I'm sorry I lied, and I'm very grateful that you came to talk to me one on one instead of yelling it in front of the other boys. It could have made them panic more, but you acted like a real prince for me. Thank you. Right now, your dad just isn't able to watch you. These other boys don't remember me, but I knew them very well before. (You hoped for the sake of simplicity, that this child would not ask, 'before what?') But I can promise you this. I will do everything in my power to keep you and everyone else safe and happy." Diavolo looked thoughful for a moment, then nodded. "Ok....though I don't really mind either way. I wanted new friends!" He swiftly turned to rejoin the others.

Now to find Lucifer.

Chapter 3

[whitleyschn33]

Weiss.

Weiss.

Weiss.

You have two summons that can fly, time dilation glyphs, gravity glyphs, platform glyphs - there are so many ways you could have caught Yang, why did you just stand there uselessly?

I mean, I would be semi-cool with it as an actual consequence, and because Blake might actually stop being such a pushover doormat without Yang around to blush over, but we all know Yang isn't dead and this isnt going to last. Also, slow-mo abuse, couldn't take it seriously.

Also, called Jacques' death, and I really dont care beyond how this will hit Whitley. He never got to confront Jacques, will never get to finish that business, and with how shafted he was with Weiss and Willow, this is just another wasted relationship. Otherwise - Jacques abused his children, employed slave labor, was a massive racist, gave the keys to Mantle to Watts and so is directly responsible for anybody that died in the cold (not that we ever saw anyone die, but whatever). I don't care that Ironwood killed him when he's caused so much shit.

Oh, yeah - civilians finally fucking die on screen, but it can all be blamed on Cinder. Please let some people die in Vacuo to let RWBY's actions have some kind of consequences. You thought so hard about your wording with Penny, but winged the transport? Wow.

And how did Oscar know what Weiss said? Maybe that was just thrown in for our benefit while Oscar just guessed RWBY slipped up in the wording, but it's set up like Oscar heard Weiss say that.

And... I'm not even going to get in to the Harriet and bomb shit. It's so fucking dumb, no one is this illogical, and I want to punch Robyn ("it's the people not the hunk of land" - did you tell them you were evacuating people off of Atlas, or did you just tell them it was falling?)

I hate this.

At least the fight was pretty to look at.

[just-a-few-prompts]

Part one here

Tagging: @whatwasmyprevioususername

TW: This extended prompt involves hurt children, abused children, abusive parents mention, trauma reaction, and bruises. Stay safe lovelies!

The hero pulled the villain up from the ground, thoroughly defeated by the rest of the team. The ambush in the villain’s own lair had worked beyond successfully. Villain roused with a groan, opening one eye as they gripped at the hero’s wrist. They couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, painful as it seemed, given the bruises and wounds showing through their costume. “Good morning, sunshine,” they drawled out before being pinned against a wall by the hero.

“Under Code A673, Section B, I am now placing you under arrest,” the hero said coldly, pulling a pair of handcuffs from their belt.

Villain snorted, holding their hands up between their faces. “You know already that it was necessary what I did.”

“Robbing that bank was not necessary,” Hero spat. They turned Villain around, more annoyed than anything about them laughing whilst being handcuffed.

“How else was anybody going to know about the fraud?”

Hero froze, furrowing their eyebrows. With a sly smile, Villain turned to look over their shoulder, albeit with their black eye. “Don’t tell me you didn’t find anything fishy,” they chuckled. “How all that staff was so careful with their words, tried to be vague about what was stolen. When you get those papers back, everyone will know.” Sighing in relief, Villain closed their eyes, leaning their head against the wall. “And all those people will get their money back. The money they deserve for all their hard work.”

The Hero’s eyes flicked towards their teammates, who were currently looking around the lair, flipping furniture, delving through desk drawers. They leaned in to whisper something to the Villain, maybe to help them out while their team mates were distracted, but their thoughts were stopped in their tracks.

“Hey, what’s this door?” Superhero called out, looking over their shoulder. They gave it a few light knocks, almost mockingly. “You came out of this door, when we came in. What’s in there, Villain? Secret plans?”

Villain’s eyes snapped to Superhero, and they growled under their breath. “Don’t open that,” they hissed. “Leave it alone.”

Superhero looked at them incredulously, scoffing. “Yeah. Sure.” They put a hand onto the door handle and swung it open.

The Villain began to lift themselves from the wall, and Hero pinned them back down, completely out of instinct. They felt bad about the wheeze. “Just- just keep your voices down,” Villain rasped out. “No harsh movements- you’ll scare them.”

“Scare who?” Superhero laughed before looking into the room. Their expression of mirth dropped instantly as they realized what they were looking at.

It was a classroom. There was a chalkboard, a few desks, colorful posters- there were children, a group of them, huddled up in the corner. They looked with wide eyes at Superhero, some of them mouthing the Superhero’s name in recognition.

Superhero stared blankly at them, just as confused. “... what the fu-“

“Language!” Villain cried out. They quickly remembered themselves, lowering their voices and squirming away from Hero. “Watch your language, please- let me up, let me up-“

Hero stepped back, numbly watching Villain stumble over to the classroom. “Please dont crowd around the door, you’ll scare them,” they whispered, shouldering past the other team mates that had gathered around the door frame for a look. They pushed through a pair of shoulders just a little too hard, and they fell more than staggered into the classroom, gritting their teeth to stifle a grunt of pain. Their hands were still cuffed - no way to break their fall.

“Teacher!” The children came out from the corner like a swarm, immediately going to help Villain sit up. Gentle, small hands guided them, pulling away when they winced at hidden bruises being touched, carefully avoiding wounds.

As Hero pushed their team mates away from the doorway, they glanced over the children. Their careful manner suddenly made sense - plenty of them had bruises of their own, healing along their arms and legs. The children glanced with fearful eyes at the hero team at the door, looking more afraid by the second.

“Thank you, children, thank you,” Villain sighed as they pulled away. They did their best to muster a polite smile. “Are you all alright? Is anybody hurt?”

The chorus of “No”s and “Mm-mm”s was interrupted by the voice of the Superhero in front of them. “What did you do to these kids?” they asked, trembling with anger and clenching their fists. Some of the children froze as they saw his hands, backing away carefully.

“I did nothing,” Villain said, glaring at Superhero as they struggled to keep their voice level. “It was their parents. I saved them.”

“What?” Superhero couldn’t help but laugh, waving an arm at the chalkboard. “What, for this? What are you teaching these kids? Tax fraud? Terrorism?”

“Addition and subtraction,” Villain growled, tilting their head at the board. “And later, when we’re all done here, it’ll be time for Science class.”

Superhero rolled their eyes, though they did squint at the board full of “3+5= 8”, “9+2= 11”, and other such formulas. “What are you gonna teach ‘em then?” they asked, sounding a little less sure than they had before. “How to make a bomb?”

Villain’s face twitched into a grimace before they glanced at the children. Calming themselves down, they looked blankly at Superhero. “Simple machines, actually,” they said. “You know. Levers, Pulleys, Screws. Wedges.”

“... Wh...” Superhero faltered, frowning at Villain. “Why are you teaching them that?”

Sighing, Villain shook their head, crossing their legs. “They missed it in school due to injuries,” they explained. “Otherwise that, or they didn’t go to school in the first place.”

The team glanced over the group of kids, some of whom were vigorously nodding. Hero noticed the way some of them gripped at the Villain’s shoulders and cape, how most of them hid behind them for as if they were a shield.

They were broken from their thoughts as somebody laughed. “Come on, Villain,” Superhero said nervously. “I get the Robin Hood schtick, but this? Do they even know where they are? Do their parents know where they are?”

Villain scoffed, shaking their head. “They are safe,” they said, their voice dangerously low. “Their parents don’t deserve to know where they are.”

“That’s not for you to decide!” Superhero snapped. “If they’re being abused at home, the police get involved! You call CPS, you can’t just kidnap all these kids!”

The Superhero was frantic now, looking around at the children. They barely seemed to register the fact that the children had flinched at the mention of police, and the ones that hadn’t flinched now had glazed-over eyes, standing slack as they stared into space.

“CPS didn’t do anything,” Villain growled, struggling to keep their face calm. “Somebody had to do something.”

Shaking their head, Superhero shut their eyes. “You know what?” they muttered, waving their hand. “I don’t want to hear any more. They’re going home. Here- come on, kid. Let’s get you home.” They strode across the room and reached for one of the boys standing next Villain.

“Not his shoulder!”

Too late.

In the next second, the boy was screaming and curled up on the floor, his eyes scrunched shut as he put his hands over his head. He screamed incoherently to please, leave him alone, he didn’t do anything, Father, please-

Superhero stumbled back, bewildered. They were knocked out of their shock rather literally; Villain sprang to their feet, delivering a vicious kick to Superhero’s stomach. As Superhero fell over a row of desks with a clatter, Villain turned back to the boy, collapsing onto their knees.

“Tommy?” they whispered, leaning down to put their shoulder to his side. “Tommy, it’s okay. You’re okay-“

A shaking sigh of relief escaped them as they were moved aside. One of the little girls was hugging Tommy now, rubbing his arms with a sad look on her face. “Thank you,” they whispered breathlessly. “Good job, Sarah. You’re doing great, you’re both doing great- It’ll be alright, Tommy. You’re safe. I promise you, you are safe.”

Hero watched from the doorway as their teammates rushed to help Superhero. The other “side” was doing some help for their own, giving Tommy some space but calling out to let him know where he was, who his friends were, that they believed in him.

“Are you really going to take us back?”

Hero stifled a cry in their throat as they looked down, seeing one of the children standing next to them. “You won’t take us back, will you?” the child repeated before turning and pointing. “Villain is such a good person. They’ve been teaching us. We can stay, right?”

Gulping, Hero looked at the rest of their team, who looked every bit as in shock as they felt. They couldn’t leave this out of the report to the agency. They couldn’t.

Could they?