#and pinterest...fucking sucks with image quality

[hxneylavendxr]

im rating hifumi solos now

so sometimes during a hypnosis microphone song the music will start to get weird and then hifumi izanami starts spilling

im rating these moments out of ten... based on... uh...

yeah

alternative rap battle

solid ★★★★★★★ 7/10

im glad we're starting with a good one. the instrumentals for the solos in this song get pretty distinct and hifumi's is pretty fun- additionally, his part segues into the chorus, dropping the music near the end of his last line which gives it impact but more importantly sounds cool to me so

summit of divisions

★★★★★★★★ 8/10

the instrumental doesnt change for this one which forces more reliance onto creative vocalization in order to stand out and boy does he do just fucking that

hifumi's part changes the whole feeling which is awesome and also i like his stupid little pun at the end

hoodstar+

★★★★★★★★★★ 10/10

call me biased but ohh my god- first off, the energy, second, he's just getting super hype about needlessly excessive (yet fancy) drinking. does not even have time for any of that koneko chan business girl we pounding hennessy. love that

division rap battle+

★★★★★★ 6/10

doesn't stand out too much but that sort of Thank you, thank you he does at the beginning as well as the way he cuts in to jakurai's part before his own is cute

division battle anthem+

★★★★★★★★★ 9/10

he does the pun again. but this time. it includes his god damned mc name. 12,345,600¥ monthly, bitch.

the music is fun and i love to hear party night- plus, again, the hyping

glory or dust

★★★★★★★★★★★ 11/10

OOOOOOOUGHHHHH AAAAAAAGH MAN

TWO OF THEM.

that,fucking sleeping beauty ost ass noise when he spins into funny mode

survival of the illest+

★★★★★★ 6/10 again

this one definetely stands out but it's short and idk wtf he's talking about

(reppin my city my crew my people errday)

hang out!

★★★★★★★★ 8/10

why are you telling me this hello

don't pass the mic

★★★★★★★★★ 9/10

this is a really good one

as always, his energy is unbeatable. and there are some god awfully unbearable host lines in here (love), but i can't get over "tacky, ugly men are to be kicked out, gigolos and graceful women only in this jet bath"

battle battle battle

★★★★★★★ 7/10

YAAASSSS SEEEERVE

the oowuh oowuhs really get me and also the laughing at the end

death respect

★★★★★ 5/10

...were you even listening to him babe what kind of response is that

in the part before this, rio mason busujima calls him an airhead but that's okay because apparently he wasn't even listening

love that for him

[wp100]

*finds a good queen image*

*google image search to find a hq version*

*all sources are from strange, dodgy websites and pinterest*

[bellafree202]

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[astrologista]

here’s what i still like about tumblr

- i can freely vent here under my own identity. this allows me to occasionally complain or even just muse about stuff that i wouldn’t discuss in my normal life. 

- the site is active and has enough weird people such that i can actually meet good friends here. the people i’ve met are not just creators in their own right, but there’s a sense of equality and less elitism here than on other creative platforms where fannish works are kind of given a backseat. it’s tough to find friends who care about the nuances of writing and art these days, and without tumblr i feel it will be even tougher. i’ve seen a lot of folks in fan communities go on to become professionals and am constantly awed by the talents of people here. the fact that i can go right up and talk to most creators on here has also been a blessing, in addition to the professional creators who used to frequent this place more often in years past. it just makes creators super accessible by creating a platform for high-quality image uploads + the potential for free text discussion and private messaging

- there is no shortage of high quality fanfic and fanart here. i don’t wish to go back to the days of piecing it together from a variety of other sites and sources, especially since i am out of touch and don’t know where to go in this day and age anymore

- you can keep track of your favorite fanfic writers and easily chat, talk meta / headcanons, or learn about them in a deeper way than you could on just a fanfic site, and become friends, not to mention boosting their fics as well as boosting your own. i feel like it’s easier to build a platform for yourself when you can easily update your followers on when new chapters are coming, what’s going on in your life, and show a more human and accessible side of yourself that people feel is approachable. fanfic writers are not just avatars, many of us have deep inner lives and it’s difficult to share those on normal social media or anywhere else in life

- you can post the absolute stupidest memes ever here and people fucking love it. not only that but many of the best tumblr memes are actually pretty wholesome and continually make me laugh even when i thought i’ve lost the ability to experience humor

- as i’ve said... the ability to discuss fandom meta and headcanons, have people tag and comment on headcanons and expand them into au’s, that’s tough to find anywhere else but dreamwidth. sites based around that idea are few and far between / are almost dead

- where the hell else am i going to find aesthetic gifs? pinterest??? please.

i keep coming to tumblr because it has solved so many of the problems i experienced with previous forms of social media / fandom discussion. it provides all of the above and the ability to customize your theme and url. 

twitter is too surface, and doesn’t allow you to post the paragraphs you need to create proper meta posts. dreamwidth has the same problems lj had, it’s got the right people and the right tools, but lacks the large userbase and ridiculous culture of tumblr. mastodon has pretty much nothing in particular to offer fandom-wise. pillowfort is basically still in beta and there is no one on there yet, but it may be our last and best hope. 

as much as we talk about “oh hoob hoo the site sucks” some of us remember the bad old days and remember why we don’t need to go back to combing through forums and deviantart and pixiv for fanart. i deleted my facebook and other shit years ago and i’ve come too far mental-health-wise to go back there for any reason. 

without tumblr i’d consider just giving up internet for awhile and going back to goddamn paperback books. i hope we can stay gold for a long time, but with censorship of content, it’s only a matter of time before the userbase numbers start feeling the difference...

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 31

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                      A/N: 

#SurpriseChapter! We love our readers. We hope you’re enjoying the impromptu posts as much as we’re enjoying writing them.

                                                Mo Astor 31

Jax

“You look antsy, Jackie. What’s doing?” Chibs drawls. If it was anyone else, I’d bullshit them.

“Baby J sent me a text.”

“Something wrong?” he asks, standing to his full height.

“Lee’s ex patched back into the GB, and he’s sniffing around.”

“Ahhh. Now I see.” He shakes his head. “Ye can’t be worried.” “Not about her. I need to make sure he knows it ain’t never going to happen. You know how it is. If you don’t have a crow, you’re technically still up for grabs.”

“Guess I know where we’ll be headed soon as this is all stored,” Chibs says with a smirk.

“Like we weren’t heading there anyway,” I mumble.

My phone chimes and I tense. I open the phone and burst out laughing at the photo that pops up of Baby J holding a blissed out and smiling Lee. I got you, bro.~ J

“Things looking up?”

“Your wife is something else.”

He grins. “What’d she do now?”

I always thought Chibs was a happy guy, but seeing him with Baby J, I can tell how much of it was a front.

I turn the photo towards him, and he releases a bark of laughter.

“What’s going on over there?” Tig asks. I shut the phone down quickly.

“The girls are wanting us to hurry over to meet them at the GB’s. They’re having a family day.”

“Look at the two of ya, all domestic and shit.” He pats Chibs shoulder, and we exchange a glance. Lee is thawing the iciness between us.

“That a hint? Cause I can get me old lady on the search for ye,” Chibs shoots back.

“To give up all this easy pussy, she’d have to be a fucking superhero stripper.”

And this I why you can’t help but love Tig. The image of a stripper dressed as wonder woman dances in my head.

“You headed to the Jellybean tonight?” Bobby asks, eavesdropping from across the room.

“I wasn’t planning on it, but I could go for the Jellybean.”

“Keep fucking around, and you’re going to end up with wife number four and the clap again,” Clay says from around his cigar.

“It was twice,” Bobby says making us all laugh. “Why the hell aren’t you running to the clinic every week?” Bobby asks putting Tig in the hot seat.

“I’m a whore, not a hooker. I keep it safe. I can’t use my dick if it rots and falls off. I seen where some of these girls have been, but they can all go for a ride on the Tig train as long as I’m wrapped.”

I make sure to keep my face neutral, but I’m stunned. Tig always seemed reckless about everything. It’s surprising to hear him put so much thought into anything that doesn’t deal with safety and protection of the club.

“Alright, we’re done. Everyone’s free to go. Church on Monday after work,” Clay says. I feel like a racehorse who just heard the sound of the starting gun. I nod Chibs to follow me out.

It’s never been a secret between me and Chibs that our girls are an item of sorts, but we’ve never talked about where we stand.

“What’s up, brother?” Chibs asks following me away from the others out to the garage where we won’t be disturbed.

“We both know we call the girls wives for a reason. But we never talked about what it means for us. I know Baby J. She’s feeling frisky and probably wants to play with Lee.”

“Yew know I got no problems with that,” Chibs says.

“Yeah, I know. What if they want to pull us into the game?”

Chibs blinks, and silence between us falls.

“I got no problem being a watcher Jackie. It’s a thing I’m working Mo Astor into. So you dunna have to worry about me there.”

“You freaky bastard,” I say, lifting my hand slightly for a low five. We clasps hands with a laugh.

“How the feck did we luck up with this two?” He asks.

I shake my head. “Divine intervention. We both dragged our heels longer than we should’ve.”

“Aye means we got to make it up to them now.”

“You up for that?” I ask.

“Aye. Been waiting a long time for this,” He says with a nod. An understanding passes between us, and I know things are going to change.

***

The club is packed by the time we pull up. All the kids have been banished, and the adults are out in full force. Couples are lined up outside, dancing to music being played over speakers and brothers are playing dominos and drinking outside. We park our bikes and move inside. The inside is a mirror of the outside.

I scan the area for the girls and spot Kick instead.

“You find the girls. I got a conversation to have,” I say.

He nods his head, and we part ways.

“Kick, let me holler at you for a minute,” I call as I walk over to where he’s watching others shoot pool.

His eyes widen, and I smirk. Yeah, motherfucker, you messed with the wrong woman. I have no problem staking my claim.

“We got a conversation to have?”

“Yeah, I think it’s best we do it now before shit gets out of control.”

“If it’s that serious ink would be involved.”

I clench my jaw.

“I don’t think you want to do this here.”

He scowls. “Let’s take a walk then pretty boy.”

I clench my fists and remind myself this ain’t my home turf.

I light up a cigarette to cool my nerves and we step outside, away from the crowds.

“Heard you were pushing up on my woman.” I say around the smoke from my inhale.

“Woman ain’t the same thing as an Old Lady. She tell you? Used to be she could handle her own shit. Naw, wait. This sounds like your lackey.”

“Keep my woman’s name out your mouth. Say some shit about her or my sister and watch how fast I fuck you up for free.” I say, taking a long drag.

He laughs. “Still acting like a damn pit bull for both of them? Newsflash she’s married, and Lee ain’t claimed.”

“Ink or not that shits mine. If you want me to prove it with my fists, we can take it to the ring. But it’d be pointless. Your ship done sailed, son.”

He cocks his head, and I ready myself for the potential battle.

“It’s like that.”

“Yeah, it is. Unlike you, I’m not letting her go. So get used to me around and us together.”

“We’ll see.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Kick,” I growl.

“Yeah, I hear you.”

“Jay, why are you holding up the party?”

I glance over at a tipsy Journee with her arm wrapped around Lee and smirk. Lee’s lips are swollen, and her shirt is unbuttoned just shy of showing too much cleavage.

“I was just playing catch up with our friend, Kick here.”

“You know it’s impossible to get a girl back when she doesn’t want you, right?” Lee says.

I smile. My girls coming in to smooth things over and drive the point home before I end up ruining the night they have planned.

“They couldn’t wait to see you,” Chibs says with a shrug. The calculating bastard knew I’d lose my head if he left me out here too long.

“I was finished here.” I toss the finished butt to the ground and turn my back on him refusing to acknowledge his presence further.

“You trying to steal my woman, Baby J?” I ask playfully as I wrap my arm around Lee and lean into Journee.

Lee reciprocates the action and relaxes against me.

Feeling her warm body tucked under my arm chases away any lingering agitation from before.

“First of all, she was mine first, and now, I was just warming her up for you.” She winks, and I laugh.

“You hear that Chibs?”

“Aye Jackie boy. She had a lot to say this one.”

“You two been putting your heads together again?”

“More than that,” Lee says huskily. My cock swells as I remember the show they put on at her house a few months prior.

“The girls have something they want to show us,” Chibs drawls.

Here we go.

“You got something to show me, baby?” I whisper brushing Lee’s lips with my own. I’m instantly rock hard and anxious for what’s to come.

“Mmmhmm,” she purrs.

“Don’t be shy. Show me.”

“We were hoping you’d say that,” Journee says. “Daddy, can we play?” The tone is a new one. I can’t help but watch in fascination as they take their roles. Journee has always been more soft-spoken and reserved, but fiercely independent. Seeing her give everything over to Chibs is a new experience.

“Aye Little Lass. You know Daddy likes to watch.”

“Jay?” Journee turns to me with wide brown eyes. “When have I ever denied you anything, brat?”

Her grin is answer enough as we make our way inside through the crowd, and down the hallway to their room. It’s late, and everyone is too drunk, high, or into what they’re doing to notice us.

Inside the room, we hang back waiting for the girls to reveal their plans.

“Lee had a rough day. I thought we could help her relax,” Journee says. Her full lips curve up into a smile as she leads Lee over to the bed. This is new for her. Before, Lee always took the lead. Seeing my woman so pliant and eager has me straining against the seam of my jeans. Journee grips her hair tight and tugs her head back, baring her neck. She nibbles her way down the graceful length, sucking on the pulse point. Lee moans.

I’m mesmerized as Journee runs her hands up Lee’s lush frame and cups her breasts. “I think you’re wearing too many clothes, baby.” I damn near swallow my tongue as her nimble fingers undo the buttons, revealing the black bra that stands out against her creamy mounds. The black pencil skirt quickly follows along with the bra. I can barely focus on the peaches and cream skin revealed because Journee is in constant motion. Her fingers pinch, and pull at dark pink nipples.

Lee leans back against her, taking everything she’s giving.

“My good girl learned her lesson. I reward her when she takes what I give and asks for nothing more.”

“Jaysus,” Chibs whispers echoing my thoughts out loud.

“Isn’t that right?” Journee asks lightly slapping Lee’s swollen breasts.

“Yes,” Lee rasps.

“Come and sit on the bed,” Journee says guiding her over to the bed with mussed sheets. My head is filled with filthy of images explaining how the sheets became rumpled. “Spread your legs wide. That’s my girl.”

Her brown hand skims down Lee’s torso and disappears into her panties. Lee whimpers. “So wet. You like being watched, don’t you? Like showing them what I do to you.”

“Yes. Oh, yes.”

“You want to come?” Journee whispers nipping at her bottom lip.

“I do.”

“Hmmm. First one’s on the house,” Journee kisses her lips as her fingers work furiously and the wet noise and whimpers fill the space. A rose flush creeps over Lee’s body. Her blue eyes darken and dilate. Her back arches and I know she’s close. I drink in everything as her body trembles, and she cries out. Journee removes her fingers and holds them out looking at me coyly.

“Come have a taste.” I’m moving before my brain can make a conscious decision. I suck her slender fingers into my mouth as I stare into Lee’s glazed over eyes. She whimpers.

“She’s so greedy. Already begging you to come again with her eyes before she’s ridden out the orgasm. Take her panties off and sip her from the source Jay boy.”

I peer into familiar brown eyes. She’s beautiful right now, fully whole, and in control. The traces of Kyle’s abuse are a distant memory, and I’m a mixture of proud and aroused. I drop to my knees, stripping Lee of her panties and bury my face between her thighs. She’s leaning back on her elbows watching me, and Journee is attached to her breasts. The sight of her, the two together and the taste of her sweetness on my tongue are an addictive combination. I grip her thighs as I make love to her with my mouth. She’s rocking against me and burying her slender fingers into Journee’s hair as we slowly work her higher. She’s dancing for us, singing in breathy sighs and moans as she rocks her hips. Her lips are berry red from the bruising kisses she’s sharing.

Journee’s hand moves down to caress her clit and her slick walls pulse around my tongue. I hum, and she cries out.

“She’s close. I think she deserves to come, don’t you.”

“Mmmhmm,” I agree.

Her body vibrates, and she comes with a soundless scream.

[lottafandoms]

Don’t mind me, scroll on by. Just ranting about crap that pisses me off...

Okay, so- what I want more than anything in the whole world right now is it to be fucking cheaper and easier for artist to get a copyright on their content. Even art memes.

Like seriously- humans are lazy pieces of fucking shits that don’t want to take time out of their lives to search for the original source of an art piece or things in general. And when it get’s to be too hard, they just say “Fuck it, I’m stealing this and posting it anyway.”

No.

Don’t do that, that’s a dick move. If you can’t find the original, do nothing. Do nothing with it at all. If you can’t find it, oh well. Don’t just snatch it up and post a poor quality image of it on whatever site you’re on, that’s fucking rude. I’m not just calling Pinterest out on their bullshit, but pretty much every fucking site ever. Tumblr, DeviantART, Twitter, that shit happens everywhere and it fucking sucks.

But let’s not forget, it’s not only the people who steal’s fault. It’s ALSO the web creator and mod’s fault for not handling their websites better to stop art theft. If I ran a website, I don’t care if it took most of my time everyday, I’d get off my lazy ass and get down to business to delete that piece of shit person’s page/blog for art theft and ban them from being able to be on the website ever again.

And it’s not only that... But commissioners not having respect for the artist that they paid. I. DO. NOT. CARE. HOW MUCH YOU PAID, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO WITH THEIR ART AS YOU PLEASE!!! You don’t have any right to use the art previews they give you either! They’re sending you those images to make sure that you’re getting what you paid for, and that everything is to your liking of the image.

IT MAY BE YOUR CHARACTER, BUT IT IS THEIR ART!

YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE ART UNLESS THEY’VE GIVEN YOU PERMISSION!

I wish I could just toss every art thief into a God damn volcano! How would you like it if I just waltzed into your shitty house, took something personal of yours, and left some money. Then when you try to stop me, I’ll just be like- “I paid for it, so it’s mine now. Ok thx, bye! :D”

People like that, deserve to develop Necrotizing fasciitis. >__>

[thoughtsfromparis]

Allison (But Not Allison This Time) and D.J. Fix Your Stupid Problems About Your Best Friend

To be fair, Allison tried on this one.

She wrote me a few days ago asking to bow out of this specific edition. Allison had just taken on two new clients and was now travelling a good chunk of the time. She kept attempting to write this piece but wasn’t happy with it. (After reading her drafts, I concur) Then she did that thing that all weirdos like her and I do – we go all or nothing. In a frazzled state she said, “I can’t commit to this any longer!” She was having a moment. I told her to have her moment, and that I’d handle this one. She’ll come back in the next one. She’s just a spaz.

Here’s what I wrote announcing Allison’s temporary departure.

In visiting Allison last week in her native Ronkonkoma​, we (D.J. and Allison) ate fondue at a local juke joint. Allison’s nerves got the better of her and she drank an entire fifth of white zinfandel during the appetizer course. We were asked to leave as Allison became belligerent when she suspected the waitress of ‘giving me a look probably because she’s jealous of my legs.’ Allison, too intoxicated to drive, left her 2015 Honda Accord in the parking lot and we shared a Lyft back to her flat. Thankfully her roommates slept through Allison crashing into every piece of furniture on the way to her master bedroom. She passed out face first onto her duvet and I did the same next to her. In the morning, for a lark I told Allison that I had enjoyed our vigorous lovemaking, but that she should get tested in the coming weeks. She exploded with violent rage and accused me of sexual misconduct, but before I could explain the joke, I found myself outside her condo – door slammed in my face. She still has my iPhone charger, and I don’t dare ask her to mail it back. She’s pretty peeved about the whole thing, even though all I really did was peek through her underwear drawer for a few seconds whilst she snored. I’m going to give it a few weeks before I ask for her to write the column, and I suspect her self-esteem is low enough to consider partnering again.

None of this is true, of course. I’ve never met Allison Arnone in person. I’m not 100% certain she exists. But I’m excited to keep doing this stupid column about your stupid problems. Enjoy.

My best friend and I live four hours apart, so we don’t get to see each other in person very often. We’re also both very busy with kids and family, so phone calls are once a month and very long — on her end. I hardly get to speak. She drones on and on about people I don’t know, complains about her mother, and tries to sell me products from all four of her different independent consultant/representative businesses, from beauty to nutrition to candles to teas — all the while knowing I’m living paycheck to paycheck. Every time I get off the phone, my blood pressure has risen. I love this woman dearly. We’ve been through a lot together, but I can’t seem to even squeeze in an interesting or amusing comment or two. Help.

D.J. – Okay, time for some tough love. It’s you, not her. That’s the bad news. She’s a selfish narcissist with an agenda. Nothing unique there. Tons of people like that roaming around. But… you’re the one who chooses to be friends with a selfish narcissist with an agenda. Here’s the solution – learn how to set boundaries. Work on your own self-esteem and guess what? These people either get in line or disappear. Because a truly healthy person doesn’t attract friends like that. Since I’ve been a tad rough on you, I’m going to end with some good news. She’s unconscious of her own nuttiness. You have the chance to change. She never will. So – change, ding dong!

She watches NON STOP IDIOT (FOX) NEWS. Need I say more? Okay, I will. She quotes idiotic, untrue, totally delusional political factoids at me. I keep saying, WE CANNOT TALK POLITICS. But she continues. I want to stab her in the eye with a fork. Should I?

D.J. – I’ve been listening to Donald Trump a lot recently in speeches and stuff, and he says FOX news is the best news source. And he’s the president! And there’s no way I’m smarter than the president. I barely made it through correspondence school! Plus, he is a big shot developer and hosted a TV show. That’s kind of badass, right? WE SHOULD OBEY OUR LEADERS.

Some like to think that their lover is their best friend. I thought so, at least. We did nearly everything together. I got my best friend a job at a restaurant. I drove her to and from work everyday and night, when she didn’t drive my car herself. She introduced me to a guy “friend” from work…”you’ll really like him” she said. One day she called me and said “hey, come meet me and Vinny at the bar I want you to meet him.” Surely, I agreed. He shook my hand, bought me a beer, and then a few days later proceeded to fuck my girlfriend. I kicked her out of my house the evening that I found out. Since then she’s keyed my car, threatened me, had men threaten me, try to call me for a shoulder to cry on after other men have dumped her…needless to say I’ve blocked her on all social media (she got so bad I had to block her on PINTEREST!) as well as her phone number…she still calls me to this day. She cheated on me after a year of being “best friends” in September of 2016. The end. Thank god.

D.J. – From what I understand, you’re a lesbian who lost her best friend and lover to a greasy Italian dude. Look, this is what greasy Italians do – they turn lesbians straight. It’s in their DNA. Just ask Allison. While she was never a girl-lover, she ONLY dates guys from Long Island with IROC Camaros (aka Italians). They’re hard to resist, from what I’ve read. So while I can justify your friend’s affair, I cannot condone her keying your car. You should hit back by throwing a bucket of red paint all over Vinny’s leather sport coat

Nothing to add. The image is way funnier than anything I could ever write.

She wants to be in a relationship, but does nothing to put herself out there in the dating world

D.J. – We’ve been poisoned by romantic comedies that suggest that Mr. Right just falls into your life, like when he’s seated next to you at a baseball game and he reaches for a foul ball and trips and ends up in your lap and then you fall in love but his best friend is kind of a jerk and he grabs your ass at a happy hour and you have to decide whether to tell him and you do and it strains his relationship and his friend lies and said you grabbed HIS butt and then he dumps you and then he finds out his friend was lying and to win you back he convinces the guy who runs the scoreboard at the stadium to video him apologizing to you in front of 45k fans. I guess what I’m saying is – tell her to hang out at the ballpark!

My brother publishes stories about my dad’s penis.

D.J. – I did publish a pair of stories about my dad’s pair, and I’m assuming this question came from my sister. To which I say this to her – You are free to write anecdotes on your blog about mom’s vagina. It’s a solid formula to drive web traffic. And we’re both in marketing, so we’re used to selling our souls.

Allison – When I saw this question and realized it had to be from D.J.’s sister, I laughed and told him we’re including this submission in the post.  I then felt bad for her because I realized she had to be related to D.J., and that just sucks.

I love my BFF, but she has the BIGGEST mouth. I want to confide in her and tell her personal things about myself, my family, my love life (or lack thereof) and other friends and it ALWAYS comes out that she’s told other people what I said. We’ve known each other a long time and she’s great, but how can I get her to keep her trap shut??

D.J. – Short answer is that you can’t. She’s going to blabber forever. So, if you’re harboring a terrorist sleeper cell in your neighborhood, you may want to keep that information to yourself. No wait – I’ve got it! TELL HER YOU’RE HARBORING A TERRORIST CELL. She’s blab to Betty, who in turn will blab to Sally, and before you know it, the FBI will be knocking at your door. But, hey – you’re not a terrorist, so no big deal, right? Then, guess whose door they’re hitting next? Your best friend. She’ll likely be put away on a felony charge of something or other. Then when she gets out of jail a few years later, odds are she’ll shut up about your secrets going forward.

She uses my jokes on social media, then doesn’t credit me. Then when I use my own joke, I’m accused of stealing from her.

D.J. – Here’s what you have to realize – 99% of people aren’t funny. But everyone thinks they’re funny. If you’re running around quoting one liners from Will Ferrell movies, you’re not funny. Don’t confuse memorization with humor writing. I was dating a woman last year who was wonderful in every way – and perhaps her most endearing quality is she would say, “I’m not funny.” And she never tried to make a joke. I loved that self-awareness and acceptance. That being said, I had to dump her. I can’t be with an unfunny person. Wait, I feel like I’ve made this all about me. Oh well. You’re on your own!

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[angeliquefreaque]

What is your preferred method of making aesthetics? (Programs, websites, where and how you find your images, the creative process in general?)

this is an interesting question! a rundown under the cut:

program: GIMP because i’ve used it for years (interface honestly sucks but it works)

websites/images: 99% of the time i use Pinterest, i also snag stuff off my dash (fashion, historical and whatnot) and when i’m really desperate i try googling. whenever i make an aesthetic, i look in my folders first which are organised vaguely by character and whatnot, then i go on a search binge and save everything i like into those folders for use another time. oh and on my main blog, i tag certain things as inspo so i can look through it later.

the process…sometimes i start with a character/pairing/theme i just feel like doing (or a request), sometimes i have an image lying around that inspires me to something. the colour scheme generally takes shape as i look for images and find that i’ve got good green ones or whatever (then of course the ones i want to use that AREN’T right, i have to fiddle with or abandon…this is the most arduous part, i think). i always want nice clear images of models to represent characters and while i have some regulars, i value the look of the photo more than using the same person every time. finding good faces is hard but it’s super important, both looks and expression (and whether it works in the composition). if it’s a pairing, finding suitable couple images is really hard but really worth it. then i like good strong ‘abstract’ images to fill it out, i always value something bold and quirky if i can get it (illustrations, especially vintage, and so on). vague imagery is not good. if i want text, i like to find something like old newspaper excerpts, i never just type something myself. i like strong colour schemes, contrast and impactful pictures, with everything very on-theme- if it’s a picture of flowers or something, then it’d better be really sharp and colourful. balance in the composition is really what makes aesthetics pop too- if you overanalyse my aesthetics, you’ll see multiple levels of balance to the images. the obvious ones would be putting the faceclaims in opposite corners and so on, but i also balance colour and other imagery carefully (although mostly just by feel, but sometimes with planning).

when it comes to the technical part, the size and quality of images is important to begin with, though since they’ll be small in the overall composition, they don’t have to be AMAZING and i do size up a little or mess with proportions if i need to and i can get away with it. i never like to end up with a blurry or grainy aesthetic. cropping is a real skill, lol- a totally unfitting image can look amazing if you crop right, this is particularly true of faceclaim/model pics. i’m cautious with greyscale images because fiddling with the colours can end up looking awful (i’m too lazy to colourise for real so i just tune the existing colour up), and i think using them too often as-is can look bland (i always mix greyscale pics with coloured ones). broadly speaking i up the contrast and whatnot on most pics, basic stuff. when using GIMP, i always make sure my canvas and images are exactly the right size (i stick to 1000x1400 usually, the two-column ones- that’s 8 images sized at 500x350, but i do change sometimes. there’s no ‘right’ size that i’ve found yet as far as tumblr’s shitty resizing goes). i use snap to grid to position things exactly right. i drop a ton of images i’m considering on the canvas, crop them, resize them and mess with them, then eliminate them as i go along and mess with the positions until it looks right. i don’t usually put gradients or anything over the entire thing, but i have on occasion.

generally, making aesthetics for me is about being really picky, really patient and really obsessed with fine detail, lmao. i also try to keep plenty of images on hand in ORGANISED folders. it helps to not give a fuck and do whatever inspires you (there’s a reason i do 90% nyo!austria). also look at other people’s aesthetics for inspiration and…what not to do (sorry).

as a general rule i don’t use fanart, cosplay or anything like that, it defeats the object for me. i also do not like seeing tons of quotations shoved in, especially of the emo teen variety, especially in bad fonts. very blurry, grainy, desaturated or otherwise bleh images are a no-go. super famous celebs as faceclaims is also jarring for me and i’m VERY fussy about how these characters look in my head (i’m okay with lesser-known celebs and somewhat-known models, lmao). for the record, i often mess with models’ eye colour for obvious reasons. extensive photoshopping is beyond me, though- i usually just tweak (though i HAVE edited a tattoo out, badly!)

what i DO like is pictures of food, i love food. illustrations, bits of wallpaper, newspapers, animal pics, shots of just lips/eyes/hair, single unusual objects, fashion, really funny/IC text posts, jewels, and a strong contrast of colours, etc…that’s pretty much what i like. oh and sexy images. i toyed with the idea of animated (explicit) gif aesthetics once but i’ve not done it yet…

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 24

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                        A/N: Are you feeling that stolen hour, cause I know we are. This is a short bit, but there will be more later this week. We wanted to get something out for y’all to read in the meantime.

SIDENOTE: Telford will kill me for this but it’s also her Birthday tomorrow (or today depending where you are) SO send her some love and thanks! (She’s the brain behind the operation I just post!) 

                                         Mo Astor Chapter 24

Journee

It’s odd stepping out into the sunshine and heat. Scotland had an overcast, damp vibe that I enjoyed immensely. It was like a permanent fall. Fall, my favorite, but not an often experienced season. Filip threads his fingers in mine as he leads me toward the baggage claim and I mentally switch modes. It’s Chibs now unless we’re alone or in close company. Things are different here. There’s a lack of freedom that comes with being back home, but this is where our roots are planted. I wouldn’t know what to do with a normal life. My time spent in college showed me that. I couldn’t relate to the average eighteen and nineteen-year-olds, hungry for their first taste of freedom and making shitty decisions. In our life, you’re always older than your years.

You have no choice. You see and hear too much, and safety precautions are a real thing. It changes the way you view life. I wanted to do my time, get a slip of paper and get out. There’s something to be said about having a skill to fall back on, and I like the image it gives me. There’s protection in that. The best thing an Old lady can offer is a good reputation. It keeps them separate from the shadiness the town knows Samcro has going on. It’s a careful balance we keep with Charming. We keep the corporations away who’d end their “Charming” way of life, and they turn a blind eye to the MC. It’s a system that works as long as everyone holds up their end of the bargain.

“Do we know who’s picking us up?” I ask.

“No clue, Love.”

Deep down I want it to be Juice. Two weeks is a long time to go without seeing his face or hearing his voice. I worry about my misguided son. He wasn’t brought up in this life, and his naivety could potentially get him in trouble. I’m working on the areas someone could exploit. I’ve seen what happens to men like him before in our culture. Chibs and I will make damn sure it doesn’t on our watch.

Chibs grabs our bags, and I admire his strength and gentlemanly ways. I’ve been in love with him since I was fifteen, but the reality of being his woman is even better than my teenage dreaming. He returns, and I thank God we opted to mail the other bags home.

“Ready, love?”

“I am.”

We move toward the exit, and I smile as I spot a familiar head of hair.

“Jackie boy,” Chibs yells making me giggle. J gives Chibs a fleeting smile and a manly hug.

“Good to have you back home, brother.”

His eyes are dull, and there’s tension he’s holding. I glance around and frown when I don’t see Lee.

“What happened? Where’s Lee?”

“I needed some one-on-one with my sister,” he says sheepishly.

I sigh. “What did you do?”

“What? Me? Nothing. That’s exactly why I’m trying to talk to you. I need some advice on how to proceed.”

I glance at Chibs. “Do you mind driving , Filip?  This is going to take awhile.”

“Aye, I’ll drive, get our boy fixed up.”

“Start from the beginning,” I say as I walk between the two of them.

“Well, for starters. Wendy went off yesterday .We were there to check up on her, and I flipped out when I found her hanging over the toilet puking her brains.”

“Did she—

“No, but that was my first thought too. She’s just got really bad morning sickness.”

“Stupid bitch,” I mumble.

“Yeah, well she was right. I left, she found out she was pregnant, and I hooked up with Lee and got happy. I haven’t thought about what this would do to her or later, my relationship with my own kid. I mean shit…I’m creating a shit storm for him or her to be born into. What judge in their right mind is going to award full custody to a man with my record or my affiliations?”

“The one we buy,” I say honestly.

He shakes his head. “There’s so much shit going on at once, Journee.”

My full name is a screaming siren. He never does well when forced out of his depth.

“When isn’t it in our lives? It’s just another hurdle to climb. Wendy was already crazy. You add hormones, and a woman scorned vibe to the mix, and you get extra insane. She’ll calm down after it’s all said and done, cause she knows as well as we do, she has no choice. That bitch ain’t got the balls to try to take you to court. She knows who runs this town. You have to deal with her and keep the peace until she pops baby T out.”

“Baby T?”

“Teller, duh.”

He chuckles.

“You make it sounds so easy.”

“Not easy, just necessary. Problem solved. Can I get my Lee time now?”

“About her…”

“Jackson Nathaniel Teller, I’ve been waiting what feels like my entire life for shit to happen between you two. If you ruin this now, I will fucking kill you with my bare hands.”

“Jesus, Baby J.” He looks at Chibs. “You sleep with one eye open brother?”

“I don’t inspire that emotion in her, Jackie boy.” He winks, and I giggle.

Jax shakes his head as we finish our trip through the underground tunnel to the car. He hits the key FOB, unlocks the car and pops the trunk. I can tell there’s more. He’ll spill it once we’re in the backseat alone. I place my hand on Chibs chest and tilt my head up for a kiss. He palms my ass, pulling my body to his and I moan as our tongues tangle. The wedding changed a few things. He never would’ve done this in public before. I like it. We part, and he places his forehead against mine.

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Always, lennan. I know his happiness affects your own.” I place my hand over his heart before I peel my body from his and force myself to join Jax.

“This better be good. I should be sucking face with my old man during this ride.”

“I love her, Journee.”

I laugh. “Is that all? Bro, I could’ve told you that years ago. I tried a dozen times.”

“You don’t understand. This changes everything.”

“This is what it means to really care for someone, Jax. That fear of hurting them or losing them is how you know it’s the real thing. You’re finally ready to put someone ahead of yourself. I’m so glad I’m here to see it. Humility looks good on you.” I muse his hair, and he swats my hand.

“You’re a little shit. You know that?”

“Seriously Jay. You’re freaked out because you finally have something you don’t want to lose. It’s not a bad thing. It’ll keep you from making dumb ass decisions. The real tragedy would be living a life where you never experience that kind of love. We both know you dropping the L word on Lee right now would not be a good thing. You jump in head first. She tests the water repeatedly, waits a little more, and then she dips a toe in. You need to be patient. You want to keep her? Then you need to temper that impulsiveness and wait for the right moment.”

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know, but you will.”

He huffs.

“J, have I ever steered you wrong when it’s this important?”

“No.” he shakes his head.

“And I won’t start now.”

He takes a deep breath and nods. “Alright.”

“You good.”

“As good as I’m going to get.”

I pat his cheek. “Welcome to the land of mortals young blonde god.”

“What?” he wrinkles his nose, and I laugh as we weave through traffic. Someone’s eager to get home. The tone for Simple Man rings out. “Mama told me when I was young...” And I laugh. Of course, she has to call the minute, we land.

He rolls his eyes. “Hey, Ma. Yes, I have them. Because Chibs is driving. Nothing. Can’t a man want to catch up with his sister?” He scowls.” Seriously? They just got back. They probably have jet lag out the ass.” He grimaces. “Yeah, I’ll let them know. No, Lee isn’t pissed at me. Yes, I know. I don’t plan on it.”

It’s always amusing to see Jax read the riot act by his mother. Partially because it means she’s not going in on me. She took the mother role to heart, and never let go. I’ve had my ass chewed out by her more times than I want to remember. “She’s right here.” He thrusts the phone at me, and I know the shoe is now on the other foot.

“Hey, Ma.”

“Hey, baby, good to hear your voice. I worried that he’d chained you to a bed and decided to keep you over there permanently.”

I laugh. “It’s more likely it’d be the other way around.”

She chuckles. “That’s my girl. A woman’s got to know how to control things while letting the man think he’s running the show.”

“You taught me well.”

“That I did. We’re having a family dinner tonight. I expect to see the two of you there.”

I mentally sigh. “Ma, we just touched down.”

“Exactly. So you’ll have enough time to spruce up, bring those vacation photos, and get home.”

I roll my eyes and bang my head against the seat.

Jax chuckles, and I elbow him in the ribs. His laughter becomes a groan, and it’s my turn to smirk.

“Fine, we’ll be there.”

“Good. I can’t wait to have my babies all together again. Especially now that you’re married and soon to be carrying a grandbaby. The first one with a mother I love.” I shake my head. That’s Gemma always light years ahead of everyone else. The ink is barely dry on the marriage license, and she’s talking about kids.

“We just got married.”

“And it’s past time we had some little brown babies running around here.”

I snort. “Only you could get away with saying that.”

“Damn straight. “ I hear her exhale, and I know she’s smoking.

“We’ll be there, but we might be late. I have to hunt up clean clothes.”

“I can’t wait to see you, baby. Love you.”

“Love you too Ma.” I hang up and shake my head.

“You miss Scotland yet?” Jax asks.

I laugh. “Meh, this is home. Besides I’m about to have a niece or nephew, and I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”

“It’s coming up fast.”

“How are you feeling about that?”

“Ready. I had a talk with my dad, and I got my head on straight. I can be a good dad.”

“I know you will be,” I say sincerely. “You got a lot of people who’ll kick your ass if you aren’t.”

He chuckles. “Never one to mince words.”

“I hear it’s a family trait of mine.”

“Yeah. I hear your big brother is pretty cool.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me against him.

“God, you are so conceited.” I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Tell me what else I’ve missed while I’ve been away.”

I lean into his warmth as he tells me in a boyish animated way that fills me with joy. He’s changing in the best possible way.