#and people definitely died because of that

[lilianne-tarot]

PICK A CARD: What Makes You Most Attractiveִ?

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I. II. III.

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How to Pick Your Pile: Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and look at the images above. Which one pulls you in the most? Trust your gut! Once you choose the image, The number below your chosen image is your pile. If more than one catches your eye, that just means there’s extra tea for you—go ahead and read both!

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My KO-FI🫶🏻

MY MASTERLIST 🫶🏻

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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖PILE I

Cards pulled: page of pentacles, 5 of cups, 10 of swords, ace of pentacles, 7 of cups.

Okay, so Pile 1 is all about the ENERGY yall bring into a room. Like, yall are that "I can't look away from them" type. your most attractive trait is definitely the vibe and presence—that natural charisma that's not forced, that "I don't even try to be hot, I just am" energy. You know those people who just feel powerful but aren’t loud about it? That’s MY PILE 1. Also, there’s a bit of a "dark feminine" or "mysterious masculine" vibe, it doesn't depend on gender, it's the energy I ma talking about. like "I have secrets you’ll never know," It's more about aura than looks or sweetness. Think boss energy, a little intimidating but insanely hot.

You’re that person people underestimate at first—like, they think you're just cute, shy, or chill (Page of Pentacles vibes), but once they get closer, BAM—you hit them with that "I've been through hell and back, and now I sparkle" kinda energy (yes, that beautiful 5 of Cups + 10 of Swords combo—I see you). Honestly, your personality is your biggest magnet, but here’s the twist—it's not the loud, in-your-face kind of personality. It's that "quiet energy, like people can feel there’s something deep under the surface, and it makes them so curious about you. You're the type where someone meets you and they can't stop thinking about you later, wondering like "Why do I feel so drawn to them? What are they hiding?" (7 of Cups, hellooo, daydreamer magnet energy).

Okay, let’s not lie—you’re definitely good-looking, but it’s not necessarily about being the "loudest" in the room. You’re the type people glance at once, and then they can't stop glancing again. Like, the more people look at you, the more they notice all these little things—your eyes, your smile, the way you fidget with your hands when nervous (I see a lot of yall doing that haha), or how your expressions shift when you're thinking deep thoughts. Also, with Ace of Pentacles sitting right here like a lil' glowing gem, there’s something about you that looks fresh, earthy, grounded but precious. Like, you give "first love in a coming-of-age film" kinda attractiveness—pure but profound, y’know? OH YEAH, maybe like those wife shown in the beginning of the movie who dies😭. I’m seeing something about your eyes—like soft but intense, eyes that look like they’ve seen things but still hold kindness. Also, your voice might be something people find themselves hooked on, like calm, soothing, maybe a little shy at first but super comforting when you open up.

YOUR PERSONALITY HONEY, this is where you SHINE, babe. You don’t give everyone access to who you are, and THAT is what makes you so magnetic. Like, people can sense you’ve been hurt before but you’ve rebuilt yourself quietly. You give off that vibe of someone who knows pain but still chooses kindness, and wow… if that isn’t HOT, I don’t know what is. Also, can we talk about how real you are? You’re not here for fake friendships or superficial vibes. People can feel that you crave something deeper—real convos, real bonds. That makes people feel safe with you but also nervous because they're like

Let me tell you something—you don’t even realize how dreamy you are, huh? Like, 7 of Cups is telling me you’re the muse energy. People fantasize about you, imagine convos, scenarios, "what if we dated?" like BABE, get ready because you’re someone’s daydream playlist person. Also, lowkey, you give hopeless romantic vibes, but you hide it under "I’m chill" energy, and that's what’s cute—because once people get a glimpse of that soft side, they MELT. Like, "Wait, they’re thoughtful AND romantic?!" Dead. People are gone.😏

In one sentence? You are that quiet, deep soul who’s soft but strong, mysterious but warm, lowkey stunning in a way that grows on people and makes them obsessed. You're the safe space mixed with a little danger of falling too hard, and that combo is what makes people wanna stick around and peel back your layers.

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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖PILE II

Cards pulled: ace of cups, wheel of fortune, strength, queen of cups and 5 of cups.

Before I dive into the reading, I just have to say—THE SPIRITS WERE SO CHATTY FOR THIS PILE! 😭 They really made me exceed my word limit! MESSAGES KEPT POPPING UP FOR THIS PILE!!!

let me just start by saying — PILE 2, y’all are the heartthrobs without even trying. Babe, this pile is literally the "physical attraction" pile, 100%. Like, this pile gives main character looks without even trying—someone who doesn’t realize how stunning they are and that makes them even hotter. People are drawn to their natural beauty, body language, voice, facial expressions—literally how they move and exist in space. EVERYTHING.

As soon as I saw three Cups cards staring at me, I was like "Oh okay, so y’all are that person who makes people feel things huh?" You’re out here unintentionally pulling on people like it’s your part-time job. Let’s get into this because BABY… your emotional energy is your ultimate attraction factor ( including the physical attraction) .

So first off, if we’re asking "What makes you attractive?" It's giving emotional depth, softness, but with a twist — you’re way stronger than people think. Like people probably see you and are like, “Aww, what a sweet soul,” but then when they get to know you, they realize you have this insane inner resilience. That Strength card sitting pretty in the middle? Yeah, that tells me you’re emotionally powerful — like you’ve been through some stuff, but you didn’t let it harden you. Instead, you’re like, “I’ll just love harder, but smarter.” And whew, people FEEL that. whenever I look at the strength card it always makes I feel like the energy where the person have the POWER to tame even a lion with their sweetness (according to the illustration on the card), that's what y'all are pile 2.

You give off the vibe of someone who sees people, like really sees them, in a way that makes them feel safe and understood. You know when you meet someone and just feel like you can exhale around them? That’s YOU. People are magnetized to your energy that feels like home, So it’s a mix of “Wow, they’re so emotionally available” but also “Wait, do I even deserve to be in their world?” And girl, that mystery is part of the charm. You’re like an emotional ocean — people can sense the depth, but they also know if they swim out too far and don’t respect your boundaries, they’ll drown.

Also — Ace of Cups + Queen of Cups?! I mean, HELLO. You radiate love, kindness, softness, but not in a naive way, and I would related it directly to my interpretation of the stegth card. It’s like, “I’ll love you, but I’ll never lose myself again for someone.” And that combo makes people OBSESSED. Like, “How are they so soft and so strong?!�� vibes. Now, let me spill some tea on the 5 of Cups because this is so key to your vibe. You’ve been hurt. I feel like a lot of people don’t realize that about you right away, but your softness comes with a story, and honestly, people pick up on that in a subtle way. THAT is so rare, and I think it’s a massive reason why people feel drawn to you. You don’t flaunt your pain, but it lives in your aura in a way that makes people want to protect you… even though you don’t need protecting (you’re stronger than most, let's be real).

Also — I think you attract people who want to be saved or healed, and you probably get tired of that, huh? Like, “Why do all the broken birds fly to me?” kind of thing? Because your nurturing vibe is THAT strong. But low-key, you’re the one who wants someone to show up for you for once, and not just take from your emotional well. And you should. Period. Another layer to what makes you attractive is how you shift people's lives just by being in them. Like people meet you and suddenly they’re questioning everything. You walk into someone's life and suddenly they’re feeling things they’ve avoided, seeing life in a deeper way, realizing what they want in relationships. And I’m hearing this loud — you’re a karmic force in people’s lives, like a wake-up call with a soft voice. Like… iconic, honestly.

Ok, even though this reading is screaming "your heart and soul are your glow," I’m picking up on physical softness that mirrors your emotional energy. Like, there’s something about your eyes—your gaze is watery but deep, like people feel like they’re drowning in your eyes (in a good way, lol). And I’m hearing “smile that hides a thousand stories” — like you could smile, and people are like, “Oh that’s cute,” but also like “What are they thinking? What have they been through?” Also — I’m seeing hair, something about your hair being soft or flowy — even if it’s short, it moves with you in a way that’s very ethereal. And there’s definitely something about your hands or the way you move them when you talk that people watch. You probably don’t notice it, but it’s hypnotizing.

i know it is super out of context but I feel like Someone definitely has had a CRUSH on you for ages but is scared to approach you because of how “above them” you seem emotionally — like they think they can’t match your depth. Also… you’ve been through a big emotional chapter recently, haven’t you? I feel like a new love — romantic or self-love — is around the corner.

So now I HAVE to ask you — do you realize you give off this "emotional heartbreaker but soft angel" vibe? Like, are you aware of this, or is this a news to you? LOL Because I feel like people fall HARD for you and you’re like, “Wait, what? I was just existing.” 😂

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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖PILE III

cards pulled: 6 of swords, ace of cups, queen of cups, judgement and the sun.

Omg okay, first of all—can we just pause and appreciate this lineup for a sec?? Like, babe, THE SUN and Judgement pulling up together is already giving "I walk in and the whole room turns to stare" vibes. And then all that emotional depth with the Ace of Cups, Queen of Cups, and even the 6 of Swords? This pile is basically the human embodiment of healing hot. You know, the kind of person who's been through it but still shines like a literal beam of light?? Like "I’ve been through storms, but I’m here glowing and unbothered."

Okay, so if we’re asking "What makes you SO attractive?"—the loudest message coming through (and I’m talking like a siren blasting in my ear) is your emotional depth, softness, and healing presence. This pile is ALL about your personality vibes and hidden charms. So if you were hoping I’d talk about something super specific like "your eyes" or "your smile," honey, I’m gonna be real—this goes so much deeper than surface level. You’re that person who people think about deep in their thoughts, wondering, "How do they make me feel so safe? Why do I feel like I can tell them everything?"

Like straight up, you are emotionally magnetic.

You radiate safety and warmth, and people are drawn to you because you just "get it." Like, you don’t even have to say anything, and people already feel like you understand what they’ve been through. The Queen of Cups and Ace of Cups combo is screaming: "I have a heart big enough to hold space for everyone’s pain and joy." And honestly? Not many people have that capacity, so when folks meet you, it feels rare. It feels special.🫡

I’m also picking up that you’re the kind of person who makes healing look sexy. (IDK why I'm saying this but plss that's the message😭) Like, you’re not here being all broken and messy (though hey, no shame if you are sometimes, we all are!). People are fascinated by how you’ve turned your pain into beauty.

Also, can we talk about how the Sun is showing up here like, You’re not just soft and deep—you also have this bright, warm, hopeful energy that shines through even when you’ve been through dark times. And that combo? Whew. Like mysterious but also sunshine when people get to know you? Iconic. People think they’re getting this deep, poetic soul (which you are), but then boom, you make them laugh or show them light when they least expect it. Literally the "serotonin boost" friend.

Let me just say this: You’re the kind of person people fall in love with slowly, but hard. trust me when I say this cuz when you fall for this type of person it's the hardest to move on from, like IMPOSSIBLE (UHM....speaking from experience🫠)

At first, they might be like, "Oh, they’re sweet, cool." But then after spending time with you? They realize you’re the calm in the storm. You probably don’t even know the grip you have on people because you're just out here being kind, someone's developing a full-blown crush just watching you exist (again, speaking from experience....). Like, someone could see you gently checking on a friend and think, "Oh no, why do I suddenly want to marry them?"

Also, with Judgement here, you give major transformative vibes—like people meet you and start questioning their whole life. "Why am I settling? I deserve better, like them." You inspire people to become better versions of themselves. And babe, THAT is wildly attractive. That "wake-up call" energy that makes people go, "I didn’t know I could feel this way until I met you." Now let me circle back to the 6 of Swords because, oh my god, this is so interesting—this card is giving me "I've moved on from the chaos" energy. So you don’t chase, you attract. You’re the person who’s been through rough waters, but instead of becoming bitter or closed off, you’re like, "I’m at peace now. If you want to join me in that peace, cool. If not, keep it moving."

And THAT, my love, is part of what makes you irresistible—you’re not out here thirsty for anyone’s attention. You’re calm, secure, and moving forward in life—and nothing’s hotter than someone who knows their worth. I’m also getting this random but strong vibe that you have a “look” when people cross boundaries—like a quiet but firm stare—and people literally fear disappointing you because you’re so kind but also so real. Like, "Omg, did I just ruin my chance with them?" kind of vibe. 💀

Also, random but I’m hearing "your laugh is addictive" and "your eyes give away your soul" —like people can feel things just by looking into your eyes or hearing you laugh. So don’t underestimate those, okay?

Now babe, let me ask—because I’m nosy like that—do people randomly trauma-dump on you in like, grocery stores and public places? 'Cause I’m getting serious "strangers tell me their life story" vibes from this. Also, do people fall for you but don’t know how to handle the feelings because you awaken something real in them? Like "oh no, I thought this was a casual crush but now I wanna write them poetry". Also… you may not realize this but people low-key compete to be close to you. Like, your presence is that precious. 👀

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Thank you so much for reading all the way through! I hope my reading resonated with you and that you had a lovely time going through it. If you enjoyed it, please like and reblog—it really means a lot! Let me know which pile you chose; I absolutely love hearing your thoughts and feedback on my readings! ♡

Note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!

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[backofthebookshelf]

I think a lot about my grandparents lately. My grandpa who landed on the beach in Normandy and we never knew about it until after he died and we found the box of medals in his closet, who taught me how to do things left handed because FUCK if someone was gonna make his grandkid feel bad for being different, who stopped smoking because my cousin sat on his lap when she was six and asked him if he was going to be at her wedding, was addicted to store brand potato chips and built several pieces of furniture I still have in my home.

My grandma who grew up on a farm during the Dust Bowl, who joined the WAVEs and learned to type and met her future husband, a New York City Irishman, in Italy and then after the war went back to being a Kansas farm wife and raised eight kids and never turned away any of them even when they got addicted to drugs or married abusive assholes and baked her own bread from scratch until the day she died.

I grew up in the 90s genuinely believing that history was basically over and things that bad couldn't happen anymore, I had no real idea what they went through in their lives. But they were happy. Not always the nicest people, I'll grant, and they definitely passed down some of their damage through the generations, but they were happy. I'm sure of that.

Imagine having been born in 1905... And all your life it doesn't fucking stop. The Great War, the Spanish Flu, and then you go out of your mind for 7 years. Everyone is traumatised and nothing matters. Then another crash. And then the rise of fascism, and the War to end all Wars didn't and it's 1945 and you're just about still there. You may have fought or ferried the boys from Dunkirk or sabotaged the Nazi occupiers or worked in the factories and put out fires during the Blitz and you're lucky to be alive, because not all your friends made it. But you are and finally, fucking finally, it stops. It stops. You are tough as nails and you can put that strength to work into building something and you do, and people have cars and can buy icecream and you have a pension fund and the kids have money of their own and no nightmares.

I want that for us. I so want that for us. I want to be the generation that has seen fucking everything and is like a MRSA bug and unfazed and when that Cheeto finally dies, I want us to. Plant the gardens and clean the seas because we can and we want to and we remember some joy, some time of trust even when it got broken and we can say to the 20 somethings "let us show you what we can build, how it can feel."

And maybe Gen beta will take it all for granted like the boomers did, but we can give Gen Z and Alpha some peace because we, and Gen Z and Alpha have seen the Dark Times and fuck that noise.

[anticidic]

Dazai and Chuuya inexplicably swapping bodies but they have to try to act like each other so no one suspects something is wrong until they can figure out how to get back in their own bodies

so Kunikida becomes concerned and thinks Dazai hit his head or came down with a fever when Dazai is punctual for once in his life and immediately gets to work when he comes to the office. he finished his paperwork and he's waiting for something else to do (and this blows almost everyone's mind at the agency because what do you MEAN "Dazai" wants to be productive and work hard)

He's also a little clumsy. Chuuya was used to sitting oddly like with one foot on the ground and one tucked underneath him but he can't do that now as Dazai, and Atsushi's watching Dazai trying to maneuver strangely in his chair and wondering what's going on

And then Dazai as Chuuya. he zones out during executive meetings and takes his time dragging out the paperwork he has to do in Chuuya's office. He forgets his hat more than once at his office and Mori and Kouyou are both immediately suspicious that something's up because Chuuya's just...acting spacey and not really caring about what's going on. Chuuya's not lazy, and he'd definitely never forget his hat.

He's informed by a subordinate that a few others died in combat on their latest mission and Dazai-Chuuya's like, "Well, it couldn't be avoided, it's the price to pay for success in this line of work", and it leaves people dumbfounded like ??? Chuuya also suddenly not really caring about those dying around him, something's definitely off, worrying even. but they never suspect it's Dazai doing his impression of pretending to be Chuuya to mess with others. he knows how Chuuya usually is, but acting strangely while mafia agents are giving him blank looks and whispering concerns is amusing to him

When the two of them also go home to each other's places because they still gotta keep up the act, Dazai makes fun of how neatly Chuuya lives and his clothing (but admittedly enjoys having a nice bed to lie in) and Chuuya angrily cleans up all the empty bottles and cans Dazai left around before they swapped bodies

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

i definitely will keep talking about obviously anorexic celebrities. i will NEVER shame them, however. i almost died from anorexia; more shame would have killed me. however, if everyone around me pretended nothing was wrong at all, i also would have died. if people only ever told me i was beautiful, my body was perfect, i would have died. if people never commented on my body, i would have died.

it's a hard line to walk. for sure. i agree with the first part of this post. i vehemently disagree with the second part. these women don't starve themselves out of bad intent, they don't starve themselves to hurt little girls. they starve themselves and get surgeries because they hate themselves. they're sick. they have mental illnesses. it's not their choice, not really. they've been pressured into it, they've been threatened with failure, a fall for grace, if they age or gain weight. they don't choose it. they're manipulated into it. i will never blame a woman for bringing back unhealthy beauty standards: it wasn't a woman who did that! it was the men who pressured her into hurting her body! it would be amazing if all these famous women could decide to not starve or get surgeries to be role models for little girls, but it's not their fault they fell into the trap.

point being, yes we need to talk about celebrities weights. but no we do not shame them or hate on them or make fun of them or ridicule them or blame them. save that energy for the men! i will talk about Ariana Grande because she is dying, but i only ever talk about her with care and support. i want her to be healthy. i try to do what worked when i was dying: express concern, point out the dangers, and show love.

"stop commenting on actress's bodies" nah actually I think I will continue to comment on the fact that since the rise of ozempic every second actress looks like she's about to blow away in a strong wind because I lived through heroin chic and normalised eating disorders and insane body expectations the FIRST fucking time and saw the damage it did so I'm personally not going to stay silent and let choice feminism make extreme weight loss "acceptable" just because tiktok has convinced some of yall that any choice a woman makes is Valid just because she's a fucking woman like are you all fucking serious right now

[thechildofshadows]

PARTNERS IN WINE

Avery Grambs x Jameson Hawthorne - 2.1k

masterlist

Hello and a Happy St. Patrick's Day to all who celebrate! Here's the promised 'Jameson takes care of drunk!Avery' fic, @saythewordheiress. You did not ask me to write it, but I have done so anyway! (because I like doing fun things, especially if it means skiving off schoolwork!) Let me know if you guys want a part two, because I think I set it up pretty well to write a chapter for Grayson and Lyra. This is different from what I usually write, so the quality might be worse. This fic, as I said earlier, is one where Jameson takes care of a drunk Avery. She's drunk for about half the fic and hungover for the other half, so if you don't like reading about people being drunk, or people throwing up ... wrong place, I will see you next week! It is also partially a chat-fic ... you'll see what I mean, because it alternates between actual storytelling and texting. It sounds bad rn, just read it. If you hate the texting, there is actual writing, and if you hate the writing, there is texting. Have fun!

CONVERSATION: KEVIN, JOE, NICK AND THE BONUS JONAS

NASH: Alright you’re going to love this

JAMESON: am i

NASH: Maybe not

NASH: so you know how the girls had a night here

JAMESON: yes

JAMESON: get to the point nash

NASH: there was some rum involved

GRAYSON: Is anyone dead, bleeding, or currently in the hospital?

NASH: no

GRAYSON: Then what’s the problem?

JAMESON: you text like a karen

XANDER: Nash hesitates to tell you, so I shall!

XANDER: They got really drunk.

NASH: …

NASH: Y’all have been quiet for a while

NASH: I’m not afraid of a fight

NASH: I have Oren

GRAYSON: Oren won’t help.

JAMESON: they’re not hurt, jfc calm down loverboy

JAMESON: how much is really drunk?

NASH: like a lot.

NASH: Avery and Max kept drinking after Libby stopped

NASH: they’ve gone through a lot of bottles.

XANDER: Avery recited Shakespeare off the top of her head

JAMESON: do you know which one

XANDER: A Midsummer’s Night Dream

XANDER: The queen’s monologue

JAMESON: omg she was learning it last week for that lit course

NASH: Gotta say

NASH: if this whole inheritance thing stops working out

NASH: she has a future in theater.

GRAYSON: From one solo?

NASH: hey she and Lyra got a pretty good recital of Hamlet in

NASH: they sound better than you do when you’re sober

JAMESON: i think gray might cry lmfao

GRAYSON: I’m not.

Jameson’s favorite thing (person) in the world was Avery Kylie Grambs.

That being said, he had no idea how to handle the woman while she was drunk. And in denial.

“Look, I’ve walked in a straight line, and … and I got back home fine. I’m not thaaaaat drunk.”

Jameson looked at Avery, who has tucked herself into his side. “Oren drove you here, and that line was definitely not straight.”

“It was …” she mumbled. She tried to take a few steps by herself, and fell over against Jameson, who wrapped an arm around her torso to steady her.

“Jesus Christ, how much did you drink?” Avery had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, and her liver probably died three times over for her to be this drunk.

“I’m not Jesus, I’m Saint Avery, remember?” Her voice slurred as they reached the stairs. Avery tried moving, but she tripped on the first stair and nearly brought Jameson down with her.

Okay, that plan is out the window. Jameson hooked an arm around her legs, and lifted her in a bridal carry, walking away from the stairs.

“Where’re we going?” her words were basically mush at this point, but Jameson was able to make them out.

“Your room is pretty high up, Heiress, and we are taking the shorter route.” He stopped at a random point in a hallway, and tapped it three times. The wall slid away, and revealed an elevator.

Jameson put Avery down, and half-pushed her into the elevator. He clicked the button for her floor, and kept her within his arms as the elevator. It was a pretty short ride, but the sudden stop (which was pretty smooth) caused Avery to lose what little balance she had, and nearly fall over.

Jameson saved her from an encounter with the floor. Again.

She was still putting her full weight on him, so he picked her up again.

As they were walking to her room, she started giggling.

“What’s so funny?”

“You!”

Jameson had no idea what she was talking about. “What?”

Avery giggled again. “Like that. You’re funny. And pretty. Like really pretty.”

Jameson nudged at the side of her head with his nose. “Just pretty?”

“Yeah. Really pretty.” She rested her head against his chest.

“I thought you’d say I’m sexy.”

“That too.”

As soon as she reached her bed, she fell asleep. She was already in pjs, and it didn’t seem worth waking her up again to get fully ready for bed.

Jameson, who had been in bed fiddling with a puzzle Xander gave him, had already been in ‘sleep mode’ for the past hour. After making sure Avery was underneath a blanket and wasn’t about to fall off the bed, throw up, choke on said throw up or all three, he got in beside her, and was surprised that Avery promptly attached herself to his side.

“You’re not really asleep, are you, Heiress?” He asked with a smirk.

She pulled him closer. “I … love you.”

Jameson gave an amused smile and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “I love you too.”

She didn’t respond, and Jameson figured she was truly asleep.

“Good night, Avery.”

Avery woke up the next morning- and ran straight to the bathroom.

Jameson was sitting on the counter next to the sink, as if he had been waiting there, but she barely acknowledged him as she bent over the toilet. He held her hair back as she threw up, and rubbed circles in her back. His touch was gentle, and Avery would've appreciated it more if she hadn't been spilling the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

“Good morning, Heiress.” he said with a smirk once she was done.

She shot him a glare, but quickly looked away as her head began pounding. “Don’t even try.”

“I didn’t say anything.” He joined her on the floor, placing a kiss on her temple, and offered her a bottle of water.

She began to drink it, and felt her headache ease somewhat. She leaned into Jameson and closed her eyes, taking a minute to relax and allow herself to slow down. With the nausea out of the way, she felt closer to sleep than ever.

She checked the clock on the wall. 9:45.

It was still too early for her.

"Woah." Jameson tapped her hand. "You're not sleeping until you've had something to eat."

"What?"

Jameson shrugged. "You're probably going to throw up again when you wake up, you might as well have something to throw up instead of pure stomach acid. You're lucky you ate before drinking last night, otherwise you would be in significantly worse shape."

She opened her mouth to respond, but she felt her stomach turn, and quickly dove for the toilet. Jameson held her hair back as she threw up bile, and kept dry heaving. She almost collapsed against the toilet and felt Jameson tie her hair and walk out of the bathroom. Avery wondered if she was in such bad shape that he couldn’t even be around her.

Avery tried to move, but her vision went temporarily black as she got up, and she wobbled for a second before catching the countertop. "Ow."

“How much did you end up drinking last night?” Jameson re-entered the bathroom and helped her sit on the countertop, giving her a bottle.

That’s why he left.

Avery noticed it was Gatorade rather than water and raised an eyebrow.

“You need the extra hydration, don’t look at me like that.”

Avery would’ve rolled her eyes. She instead decided to open the Gatorade bottle, but lacked the energy to actually open it.

“And she said she didn’t drink at all last night.” Jameson gave her a smirk -oh god, how could he be hot and helpful and unhelpful so early in the morning?- and helped her tip the bottle into her mouth.

She finally found the strength to talk. “Did I really say that last night?”

“Among other things.” He stood between her legs, and gently took the bottle from her, capping it as he moved it to the side.

Avery poked his chest. “What else did I do?”

Jameson gave her a crooked grin. “Finish the food.”

Food?

He produced a packet of crackers out of nowhere, and Avery groaned. “They’re disgusting.”

“They’re what you’re least likely to throw up.”

Avery frowned, and Jameson tore open the packet. “Take it from a Hawthorne man; we know the best ways to get drunk, and the best ways get over a hangover.”

He fed her a cracker, which was bland and flavorless, but the thought of any other food made her want to throw up.

Avery got halfway through the packet before she felt drowsy again. She didn’t realize it until she felt a series of gentle taps on her hand.

“Just one more, Heiress.” Avery was leaning almost entirely on Jameson, her head in the crook of his neck.

Avery tried to respond, but she was almost fully asleep, and Jameson took it as an answer. “Alright, you’re too sleepy for this, let’s get you to bed.”

He lifted her off the countertop almost effortlessly, and gently placed her on her bed, placing a kiss on her forehead. He might’ve said something, but sleep washed over Avery, and anything he said was long gone.

DIRECT MESSAGES TO: GRAYSON HAWTHORNE

JAMESON: how drunk did the girls get

JAMESON: even i never got hungover this bad jfc

GRAYSON: I couldn’t tell you.

GRAYSON: She’s stubborn as ever.

GRAYSON: She won’t even eat food.

GRAYSON: She also says that she’s not drunk.

JAMESON: she’s not tho????

JAMESON: she’s hungover??

JAMESON: don’t tell me you’ve been telling ur girl shes drunk.

GRAYSON: Don’t tell Xander.

GRAYSON: Or Avery.

JAMESON: lmfao i just got avery back into bed

JAMESON: try harder

GRAYSON: She just ran to the bathroom.

JAMESON: have fun

She ended up waking up about two hours later with a blinding headache-

“-And that’s what the painkillers are for.” Jameson sat on the edge of the bed and handed her two pills and a glass of water. She quickly gulped down the pills and all of the water, and she felt relief wash over her about five minutes later.

“Jesus Christ.” She moved closer to Jameson and leaned her head against his shoulder.

“How are we feeling, Heiress?” She looked up at him and he flashed her a smile.

“A lot better now. How are you so patient?”

His eyebrows rose. “I’m not.”

“You knew exactly what to do.”

“That comes from a combination of regularly having gotten hangovers, and being a Hawthorne.” He gestured wildly with his arms. “Efficiency is key.”

She bit back a laugh as Jameson talked about his ‘process’ and how many tries it took him to perfect the hangover routine.

“-so you got the better end of the deal, you hopefully will never have to experience a true, raw hangover.”

“Thank you.” Jameson looked down at her and she shrugged. “You didn’t have to help. It was pretty gross.”

“Anytime, Heiress. And I’ve seen gross. I lived with Grayson.”

Avery swallowed. “We woke you up last night as well, and I didn’t plan on getting drunk at all. You were completely unprepared.”

Jameson’s eyebrows flew into his hair. “If you ever meet an unprepared Hawthorne, please disinherit them.”

When Avery didn’t laugh, he sighed. “It’s okay, Heiress. We all drink a little too much sometimes, and no one goes out planning to get wasted. We have a whole shelf in the pantry with ‘hangover-safe food.’ It’s not a burden to help you, and it’s never a bad thing to spend more time with you.”

Avery opened her mouth to argue back and Jameson clapped a hand over her mouth. “I will always be there for you, whether you like it or not. It’s not a bad thing.”

She felt her breath catch in her throat, and she paused for a minute before she spoke. “Alright.”

He flashed her a smirk. “It is also fun not being the one drunk for once.”

She rolled her eyes and Jameson wrapped an arm around her. “Brilliant. Now do you want to see whether Lyra finally stopped arguing with Grayson?”

“Oh, she never does.”

“Today might be different.”

“How so?”

“She’s hungover for one thing …”

GRAYSON: Where did they get the alcohol again?

JAMESON: avery’s asking if Lyra’s okay.

GRAYSON: She’s sleeping.

JAMESON: gray it’s like 1pm

JAMESON: why did it take you so long to get her to rest.

GRAYSON: Apparently, Lyra has a severe distaste for all things involving alcohol.

GRAYSON: How did Avery get her drunk?

JAMESON: she says Max did it.

GRAYSON: I shouldn’t have expected anything less.

GRAYSON: I thought I was done with hangovers when you stopped drinking.

JAMESON: and then you decided to fall in love

JAMESON: this is not my fault

GRAYSON: she’s waking up.

GRAYSON: Maybe I’ll finally sleep.

JAMESON: that’s what you get for not sleeping when people do

GRAYSON: I’m not going to grace that with a response.

GRAYSON: Goodbye, Jamie.

JAMESON: you’re not going off to war jfc dont sound so dramatic

JAMESON: well, you kinda are

GRAYSON: … I’ll pass on the sentiment to Lyra

JAMESON: he didn’t mean that -Avery

JAMESON: I did

JAMESON: see you later.

fin.

ENDING NOTES This fic was kind of a rollercoaster, and it was harder for me to write ... for some reason. I specialize in angst. Thanks for reading - please like, reblog and leave feedback in the notes. Or just throw blackberries at me. Anything works. It's St. Patricks Day, and I literally live in Walmart Ireland, and I ... made this fic blue. (yaaay) This looks shit in light mode, im sorry. The taglist has a grand total of one person (thank you, Jude) and is looking for more people, so if you want to be added, lmk. (I joined the writing side during TIG's lowest point, but we are going to deal with it by throwing more fics into the pit.)

Taglist: @inmyheaddd

[changingplumbob]

First Round - Day three (Jerry Group)

While most of the Jerry group were happy enough to settle in to the main hall and make small talk Posy heard one criticism from Cassiel and needed to urgently go check out the back yard.

Cassiel: Geez, it doesn't show that she's been on a reality show before at all

Harmony: She seems interesting to me

Quetzalli: She's definitely not here for Deanna. I think I would have died if someone else applied for me

Posy: I almost did

Jerrica: There you are! How uh... how was the yard?

Yasmine: See any solar panels?

Posy: *sighing* No solar panels. Look, let's just address the elephant in the room-

Harmony: You couldn't fit an elephant in here, they wouldn't even get through- ohhhh. Sorry all I heard was elephant, it was a metaphor wasn't it

Jerrica: Yes but English can be a tricky language

Cassiel: No kidding bookworm. What were you saying Posy?

Posy: I know I've been on a reality show before and that it probably seems like I have an unfair advantage but don't worry. I am here to show I keep my contracts, especially those with my clients, regardless of my own personal feelings-

Quetzalli: But are you looking for new clients or aren't you

Posy: A professional like me must always be open to new artists wherever they may be

Quetzalli: So could you-

Cassiel: I've had enough small talk, I'm going to watch a cooking show before lunch

Posy: Oh I know where the TV is

The pair leave followed by Harmony and Yasmine who decide to checkout the pool.

Quetzalli: Can you believe Cass just cut me off like that? What's her problem, it's not like she's a musician

Jerrica: Totally pretentious but... her dislike of me is mutual

Deanna (voiceover): I went in for lunch like I had the past couple of days and it was tense. I know yesterday there were problems between Nephinae and Kristina but their dislike was like ice cube where as the tension between Cassiel and Jerrica was iceberg. Harmony and Yasmine came in from the pool to chat with us but Harmony stayed pretty quiet. She doesn't seem to handle conflict well which I totally get

Jerrica: How was the pool

Yasmine: Good

Cassiel: I imagine it's the perfect place for a lazy person to spend their time

Jerrica: *unamused* Is it available for our skill time

Deanna: Not today. Production said they really don't want anyone trying to swim for four hours in this chill

Harmony: I hope it brightens up

Posy: Last time I was here I got plenty of sunlight, normally Tartosa does

Deanna: The weather is wonderful normally, especially in the warmer months. We don't really get much of a winter here

...

Quetzalli: I don't suppose we could get some hints for what the challenges are before the skill sessions?

Deanna: Sorry, I can't. We've just got the list of things you might want to brush up on

Yasmine: I've found it hard to pick

Jerrica: Same

Cassiel: *scoffs* Of course you did. I had no problems

...

Cassiel (voiceover): Alright maybe I did have problems but I certainly wasn't going to tell Jerrica. End of the day this is a competition. I want to get far enough that Deanna can have some of my cooking. People connect through food after all. But I admit my tension at the situation was getting to me, I'm socially awkward remember? So yeah I chose to focus on charisma

Jerrica (voiceover): I was so mad, Cassiel just gets under my skin, I hope I hid it though. It's like all her bravado just rubs me the wrong way. I do still think she's hiding something, surely no one can just be that confident. Anyway I'm going to focus on self improvement and chose fitness to work on. NOT because she got under my skin, just because I do tend to be lazy so having a few pointers before any physical challenges makes sense

Harmony (voiceover): If there's one thing you learn from growing up around animals it's how they'll react when they're put with others they don't know. Some go straight to showing they're the boss, they'll puff up big and be loud and basically say don't mess with me. Quite a few others will lay low, give the other animals space and basically signal that they're not a threat. Can you tell which one I was this morning *laughs*. Anyway I'm sure with time they'll settle. I chose to work on my charisma, when the others do notice me I want to show I know what I'm doing, even if I am clumsy

Posy (voiceover): Total nightmare, thank the watcher for Cass. I love her, she takes no BLEEP. Wait can I say that? Whatever. In general they don't seem to like me, but that's their problem. I'm here because I'm a professional. I figured I'd study up on some logic for the skill time, I feel like I'm going to need to be good at arguments with this group

Yasmine (voiceover): Was it cowardly to check out the pool instead of picking a side this morning? Maybe, but I'm not a picking sides kind of girl, I'm a picking up trash kind of girl. I should probably make an effort with them later though, I don't want to get on Cassiel's bad side and I still think Jerrica would be an awesome friend. So yeah for skill time I worked on my charisma... In my swimwear...

Quetzalli (voiceover): The villa is amazing! I want a house this big one day. I'm glad I got a chance to chat with Jerrica, my first impression about her was definitively wrong. She might normally live in her own fantasy world with Judith Ward but she's very aware of what's happening. I think she's a strong contender so a good one to befriend. For skill time I did charisma. If I get that first challenge date I want to be able to impress Deanna

Deanna (voiceover): I made fish tacos for dinner. When I called to let Joey know he wouldn't stop laughing for some reason so I guess I don't get family time today

Everyone takes a plate and a seat. Cassiel and Yasmine head out to the patio to eat despite the clouds while everyone else stays inside.

Quetzalli: I still can't get over this gorgeous villa

Deanna: I know! It's like my mansion baron dreams have been answered!

Jerrica: I can think of so many novels that would thrive in a setting like this

Yasmine: Are you doing okay Cass

Cassiel: *sighs* I just kind of needed a break from all the people you know. Well mainly little miss Jerrica

Yasmine: Think you can handle sitting through a movie

Cassiel: Depends, do we know if it's got a hot female lead

Yasmine: *smiles* It's bound to

Deanna tidies up the dishes and everyone moves to the living space.

Quetzalli (voiceover): I was trying to keep it together but that movie score, it just hit at all the emotional bits you know. The composer did an amazing job. I cried, but you know what so did Jerrica so that's bonding right

Cassiel: You okay there Quetzalli

Quetzalli: *sniffling* Totally fine

Yasmine: Do you ladies know how much waste gets generated by movie sets? Spoiler alert, it's a lot

Posy: Maybe but filming, especially on location, can do a lot of good for the local economy

...

Tensions seemed to ease as the film played. Harmony had many jokes the she delivered at just the right moments, meaning the group got to laugh together... a little.

Jerrica: I'm so tired, I can't wait to crawl in to bed

Cassiel: I bet you can't

Jerrica: Hey, it's been a big day

Cassiel: I imagine any day you get dressed is a big day for you

With the film over Quetzalli took some to catch up with Deanna.

Quetzalli: Hey cutie, I love the dress

Deanna: *dubious* Really?

Quetzalli: For sure, it fits with the warmer climate better than the purple I'd say

Deanna: I worry it's too low cut

Quetzalli: *laughing* Girl please, look at my v neck

While they chatted Cassiel and Harmony tried to stay awake but ended up crashing on the sofa.

Yasmine: What are you doing out here Jerrica? I thought you were heading for bed

Jerrica: I'm having a solo dance party. They're better at home in my pj's but I feel like I need one

Yasmine: Sounds fun! Hey I hope you didn't get offended by my leaving for the pool this morning

Jerrica: Not at all! I am absolutely going to be soaking up sun beside it on a less cloudy day! Just maybe don't let Cass know I'm going to indulge my lazy side *giggles*

Sims created by: @berrysims-lp, @cawthorntales, @fallin4fiction, @invisiblequeen, @matchalovertrait, @simstagramsomeone

[mikaazune]

Am I the only one drawing wicked parallels between them? And not just the fact that I'm jealous of their hair...

Spoilers for Alien Stage (through Round 5 to Weige)! Seriously, don't read if you haven't watched Weige specifically.

They're both very loyal to their friends and would risk their lives for them (and did in fact risk their lives for them). Baji didn't want Mikey to kill Kazutora over him, hence him stabbing himself. While Hyuna definitely hated or at least really disliked Luka, she wanted to let go of her hate. She was also probably very conflicted because they used to be close friends. Either way, she put herself in the line of fire to protect Luka from being shot.

This could also be aligned with them both being selfless. Hyuna's first action after escaping is literally going back to the Anakt Garden after losing her leg to try to free the other kids. She went back to the place that she'd just escaped from to help others, risking her own freedom and/or life on the process. Baji left Toman because he realized that he couldn't take down Kisaki without causing conflict with him and Mikey. He basically jeopardized his relationship with Mikey and the rest of Toman by joining another gang to find a way to get rid of Kisaki. To everyone else (minus Chifuyu), it looked like he betrayed them.

Additionally, they both have a wilder side and like to cause trouble. Baji is described as liking the thrill of adrenaline and Mikey says that he'll punch people and start fights for no reason, just because he feels like it. The two of them are both described as having smiles on their faces while fighting, even in dangerous situations like Hyuna's often in. She'll be blasting robots and blowing stuff up. Even when she saves Mizi in All-In (notably not Round 5, presumably because of Luka'a presence), she's grinning.

But despite having this wild side, they both care a lot for others, specifically their friends. Hyuna cared for Luka before he killed Hyun Woo, the three of them were really close friends. Hyuna also took in Mizi after saving her with zero hesitation, and she continued to look out for Mizi throughout the events they went through in All-In. In Blink Gone, she didn't want Mizi to go back to save Till because Mizi would be risking everything going right back to Alien Stage and could potentially get killed or get dragged back into the competition. Baji had a lot of faith in Ryusei and Chifuyu and knew he could trust both of them, and he knew he could let loose around them. Baji used Takemichi punching Kisaki as an excuse to leave, yes, but he was also saving Takemichi from a much worse fate because at that point, Takemichi (who iirc wasn't even an official member of the gang yet) had just punched the newly appointed third division captain. Baji mentions several times that he doesn't want to disappoint his mom, hence why he does his best to study. Not to mention that he was sending letters to Kazutora while the latter was locked up in the detention center, even though Kazutora had been the one to convince Baji to sneak into Shin's shop with him and nearly got Baji sent to the detention center too for Shin's murder. The only reason he wasn't was because Mikey testified for him.

They both died for people they cared about. Like I said earlier, Baji stabbed himself so that his death wouldn't be on Kazutora's hands and thus would get him killed by Mikey. Even though Kazutora had stabbed him earlier, Baji was still trying to protect him even though it meant that he'd die in the process. Hyuna, up until the events of Round 7 (at least from what I can tell), had despised Luka, but she was finally ready to let go of that. She took the bullet meant for him because deep down, she still cared for him. Her last words to him were, "I resented you so. I had to keep moving forward in every moment... but you were always my one and only weakness. That's why I resented you so. Luka, live with love. Embrace the pain, the frailty, and the moments so unbearably shameful. Forgive yourself... again and again, endlessly. Because everything... begins from there." She wanted him to lead a better life and used her last words to him to tell him that. They both cared and died for people that were very complicated and had some (putting it politely) issues to work through (let's not forget that Luka killed Hyuna's brother because he wanted her for himself and wasn't willing to "share" her with Hyun Woo).

I'm sure there's way more to analyze between the two of them but yeah, I'll leave it here. I just had to get it all out of my brain so I could take a nap.

[sleepygirltwink]

I still remember the time in 5th or 6th grade when the local playhouse was going to be coming to our school to read poems they selected from each grade of students in front of the whole school. It was this whole thing. My teacher made it mandatory and for a large grade, as did many others.

I was a noticeably neurodivergent but undiagnosed kid, one with that whole “excel academically then sit and read through the whole class” type as you had described. I was at a point where I obsessed over Ancient Greece. Like, read the Iliad and odyssey cover to cover, Aeneid was my favorite book ever, I reread Percy jackson (which was new-ish at the time!)constantly, etc. So, I decided to write my ode about Achilles. I poured my heart into writing this poem in honor of one of my favorite mythological characters. I don’t have the poem anymore, but I wrote about how he was a great warrior with a great love for Patroclus and how he would be undone by his rage etc etc, basically a breakdown, summary, and retelling of my understanding of the Iliad. Now I was 10, so like duh my understanding of the Iliad was definitely not complete and whatnot.

We read them for our class, and everyone else had written about something mundane that was important to them (their favorite shoes, their iPod, etc), then came me, the dweeby, quiet, nerdy, awkward kid coming up and reading aloud an attestation to one of the greatest warriors of myth, written in the style of epic poetry mixed with typical western ode. I was roasted hard, not just by my classmates, but the teacher. It wasn’t as bad, thankfully, as some of these stories, but it stuck with me a while, and people would make snide jokes about how I put so much effort into it and how bad it was. The teacher gave me a C- because it didn’t hit some arbitrary requirement she never told us.

A few weeks later, the playhouse came to our school, and they were reading the poems. They got to my grade, read off many of my classmates with little fanfare, then one stepped forward and said “and for our favorite one of this grade, one that was clearly written by someone with great passion and love for art, Ode to Achilles by (me).” Then he read it aloud, with the same verve and intonation I had in class. Everyone except for my class clapped for my poem, and I was invited up to get some little plaque that I still have and that has hung up in every bedroom I’ve ever had.

I was still picked on for it but it died down a lot after I’d gotten awarded. And that plaque means so much to me, to the extent that even my gruff man’s man father didn’t question when I made sure that we had it every single time we moved, and that I would proudly display it (at one point it even hung in our living room!) cause he knew how hurt I’d been over how the other kids had treated my poem.

As far as the “maybe he shouldn’t have been so weird” comments. A trans girl I went to school with was bullied for it and her obvious untreated neurodivergence relentlessly. Whenever she went to admin or most teachers they’d tell her the same. Don’t be so different.

every piece of ""autistic representation"" in hollywood sucks not just because of the infantalization and inspiration porn but because movie executives always fail to realize the real universal autistic experience: spending your childhood slowly and unfalteringly realizing all of your friends not so secretly hated and/or merely tolerated you at best and you've missed every social signal about it ever

[izzyfishie]

okay guys sgtwt is pissing me off so i’m coming here to rant instead because that place scares me 💔

THEYRE EXTERMINATING SANG-WOO STANS IM NOT JOKING. THERE IS A LITERAL BUNKER

so the people are fighting over sang-woo and gi-hun’s fight in season 1. some people are saying gi-hun was too mean (??) while others have said sang-woo was heartless in general, only looking out for himself and that he didnt care about gi-hun.

[screenshots of how it began attached]

after that, everything went to HELL

so i’m going to talk about this discourse and give my opinions here instead of twitter because i will get FLAMED.

here’s the questions we’re ultimately going to be diving into:

1) were sang-woo’s responses heartless or justified?

2) was gi-hun’s reaction and clap-back justified?

3) who was in the ‘right’?

everybody knows i love and cherish both of my babies intensely, but you know what ELSE i do? i understand and pay attention the flaws they have without letting it diminish my love for them.

why? ive said it once ill say it 400 more times. BECAUSE. THEY. ARE. HUMANS. IN A DESPERATE SITUATION. THAT. BRINGS. OUT. THE. WORST. IN. THEM.

we need to look at both sides of the coin here.

--

SANG-WOO

going back for a moment.

sang-woo was very visibly LOSING HIS MIND in general past episode 7. everything that happened fucked him up BAD, especially after ali’s death. we see him snap at player 069, (which i still believe was a subconscious manifestation of his inside feelings toward himself at the time fighting with the mindset of "i need to win the games" but that’s not on-topic rn) and later we do see the first time genuinely he kills a man.

(i find the lighting choice here, where he’s backlit by darkness, very fitting. he’s pretty much lost his mind atp)

but without him pushing the glassmaker, EVERYBODY would have died. gi-hun especially; he was at the very back of the line!

not to mention, sang-woo constantly repeats the “it was necessary” or, to gi-hun, “he was just somebody you knew for a few days” mantra, almost like he’s trying to justify his actions. (that’s called rationalization. a defense mechanism.)

i hope this is enough proof that, while yes, sang-woo had completely lost himself, he wasn’t just some heartless monster who felt no remorse.

--

GI-HUN

gi-hun, on the other hand, just VISIBLY witnessed his childhood best friend kill somebody. OF COURSE he’s going to be shocked and upset. we forget he’d never actually witnessed sang-woo kill ali, nor was he aware of sang-woo manipulating him — he likely just assumed ali lost the game in a fair fashion.

no wonder he questioned sang-woo; he wasn't expecting him to do that. he didn't find it necessary either, and from his perspective it looked like sang-woo had just killed him to get rid of him.

not to mention, that's still his childhood best friend! somebody he cares about a lot. it's very... off-putting to see people you love do bad things.

--

(one question i also see people contemplating on sgtwt is this: if the roles were somehow reversed, and gi-hun had pushed the glassmaker, how would sang-woo have responded? would he have been shocked, or would have have not cared? and would have have confronted him?

my simple answer to that is: i don’t think sang-woo would have confronted gi-hun at all, but i do think he would have definitely been shocked because of how gi-hun is as a person. it probably wouldn’t have affected him as much, but it would have likely shaken him up.)

—

now, about the actual confrontation.

(although translation is a large factor here, the words said pretty much boil down/summarize to this.)

gi-hun: “why did you kill him??”

sang-woo: "you got lucky at the back of the line, he was wasting our time, he would have killed us all"

gi-hun: "but he would have moved eventually, there was no need to push him"

sang-woo: "he watched ALL those people die and yet didnt do anything about it"

gi-hun: "he's the only reason we made it out"

sang-woo: "no. i made it out because i worked hard to make sure i stayed alive"

gi-hun: "stop making excuses. you killed him, his blood's on your hands."

sang-woo: "well it's almost like that's how this works"

gi-hun: “and if it were me on that tile, would you have pushed me?”

sang-woo completely ignores the question.

and then the boys started fightingggg 💔

sang-woo: “your life is so pathetic because you’re a nosy dim-witted moron, that’s how you got into this mess” (pretty much just throwing words around)

gi-hun: “well you’re in here with me, aren’t you? why is the pride and joy of ssangmun-dong who went to SNU in a shithole like this? hm?”

i find it interesting how gi-hun uses the very things he praised him for against him.

some people think sang-woo was mad because he shattered his ego. however, i think he was more affected by it because he knew gi-hun was right.

see, contrary to popular belief, sang-woo doesn’t think highly of himself. he gets visibly uncomfortable when people address him higher. [examples: his constant distaste of gi-hun ogling him , him constantly requesting ali to not refer to him as sir , telling mi-nyeo that he’s not the leader of their group and that they’re all equal.]

he’s not some egotistical bastard that thinks super highly of himself — he visibly LOATHES himself. it's implied in canon he’s had to put so much effort into (he’s an only child, and an INTELLIGENT CHILD in a poor household, so a lot of the responsibility surely fell on him growing up to make sure he could help their family get out of poverty) and now he’s fucked that up (i have another psychological theory on this but it’s off-topic and for another day)

so, do i think gi-hun's response was too harsh? no. i do, however, think he gave sang-woo a harsh reality check that likely fucked him up even more.

BUT. i do also want to just. bring up one thing; a major factor in the argument that people seem to be forgetting.

uh. it was an ARGUMENT.

some people don't always mean 100% of what they say when they fight; mainly because of the heat of the moment. (this is targeted more at sang-woo, considering he was literally just. throwing down insults like it was a playground schoolfight.) not to mention they were very obviously trying to strike a nerve to prove their points.

and im not saying this was some kind of freudian slip where they're revealing their unconscious beliefs on each other. i dont think they hate each other or some bs like the tweeters are saying, i just do think that tensions were heightened overall because they were trying so hard to prove their point that they started tearing the other down. etc. (however i do think gi-hun's rhetorical question was likely genuine: what is sang-woo the genius doing with him)

--

FINAL VERDICT

now to the final question. who was in the right?

..sorry for the anti-climacticness of this but uh. neither of them were in the right nor wrong. that's something a lot of people fail to understand. this was a fair argument. they both had fair points.

at this point sang-woo had lost his mind in the games, yet he still wasn't wrong: if he hadn't pushed the glassmaker, they likely all would have died, and killing is how the games work. morals are twisted in death games.

and gi-hun wasn't wrong either. obviously sang-woo shouldn't have killed the glassmaker, and he wasn't wrong about the fact that sang-woo fucked up bad to be in a place like this.

anyways. i hope ive fed you all. yes this is what ive been writing for the past something hours free me from sangihun jail i miss my shaylas 💔

[lindira]

I'm mentally chewing on the idea that maybe Caterina favored Lucanis, but would have given the title of First Talon to Illario if not for his evil-mustache-twirling machinations. We know she's astute, perceptive, and ruthless. I don't think for a second that she didn't know Lucanis was soft-hearted, no matter how good an assassin he was. What he did in the Wigmaker Job had to have gotten back to her - that's how Lucanis got the name of "Demon of Vyrantium" after all. He freed the slaves. He administered a punishment to Ambrose Forfex, not just a cold assassination like he was supposed to.

Everyone is also familiar with Illario's style of assassination. The Crows joke about how he shirks his work and how incompetent he is, but it reads more like one of those family jokes that persists forever, despite how hurtful it's become. But even though Illario will never be as good an assassin overall as Lucanis, Illario does have a type of job he excels at that Lucanis can't do. Caterina would have been aware of Illario's skill at charming people, and also that he can be just as ruthless as she is.

There is the assumption amongst all the Crows that Caterina would have chosen Lucanis to succeed her as First Talon, and it's based almost solely because she favors him. And while that may be true, the favoritism seems more affectionate than professional. We don't see Caterina and Illario interact much, so it's hard to definitively say what their relationship is or isn't like. But when we see Caterina speak of Lucanis, she says "grandson" with fondness and calls him "my poor boy". Unfortunately for Illario, I do think it's true that she loved Lucanis more, but I think that also suggests that she probably knew he didn't want the role of First Talon and moreover that he wouldn't have been well-suited for it.

Meanwhile, we know from how she brought up her grandsons that she was focused almost entirely on their survival. Her cruelty to them throughout their childhood was to prepare them for the cruelties they would inevitably have to face as master assassins and - ultimately - her successors. She had to have survived as leader of the Crows by being merciless - especially with such a small House after the murder of almost her entire family - so a future First Talon would have to be equally so.

Lucanis has proven himself to be merciful. The Venatori picked up on it, and Caterina undoubtedly did too. Mercy and compassion are wonderful things, but in a leader who tries to right wrongs and punish evildoers, they are also things that would make that leader a LOT of enemies. Enemies who would - without hesitation - strike at the First Talon and anyone they care about. On the other hand, a First Talon for whom contracts are strictly business, who has no reservations in doing the "wrong" thing, who doesn't keep track of whether the targets "deserve" to be killed or not, is a First Talon who would maintain cordial relationships with clients no matter their morality. Illario would have been that Talon. His contracts are transactional, and despite charming targets and feigning affection for them, has no trouble killing them and barely thinks of them afterward. In "The Wigmaker Job", Lucanis expresses condolences when the lead guard Illario flirted with had died. But Illario didn't even remember her name and didn't care what happened to her.

Given what we know about Caterina, it's reasonable and logical that she - as someone who understood her grandsons and what being a First Talon entails - would have chosen Illario for the position, no matter what her personal feelings about the two were. Illario would have made a ruthless and business-like First Talon, and Lucanis - being the loyal sap that he is - would have been a stalwart protector who could have kept both Illario and himself safe. But after Illario's plotting, and after he lost openly in combat against Lucanis, Caterina couldn't give the position to Illario. He had lost too much face with the Crows, both by striking against someone in his own House and losing the battle in front of literally everyone. So she had to give Lucanis the First Talon title in the end.

I don't blame Illario for coming to the conclusion that he would never be First Talon, because he had been conditioned to believe Caterina thought nothing of him. But the tragedy of most family conflicts is that so much pain and suffering could have been avoided if all of them had just, y'know, sat the fuck down and talked about what all their intentions were before making huge announcements or plotting their brother-cousin's downfall. But no, they all had to be drama queens about it, which I guess is very Antivan of them.

[makoto-x]

Every time I've talked or I'm rewatching GF with one of my other freinds or even siblings, they always bring up on how bad Wendy was and how much she was wasted potential, and I do want to talk more about that

In my opinion, Wendy WAS bad , but definitely has felt more like her own character after s1. Am I upset that the story between Wendy and grunkle stan where grunkle stan helps Wendy become better at pickpocketing? Very (would've LOVED that story) and would've I liked it if we got more of an explanation on why she hates her father and more backround details about her mother and where she went/if she died? Yes, but I feel like the biggest complaint people have with her is that she doesn't even have a personality to begin with. In s1 it was much more obvious , like we have it in the jnconviencing and the deep end and stuff, heck even summerween has shockingly more wendip than expected, and I completely agree with those complaints, that she lacked personality in s1...but its a different case is s2

S2 made Wendy SO MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE, she was amazing in many episodes and felt more like an actual character after and during into the bunker, I especially loved her in the last mabelcorn because of how much of a big role she played instead of just being there in the episode, and because of how simply enjoyable she's become.

It's like day and night comparing S1 Wendy to S2 Wendy

[ruins-of-tragedy]

What makes me go feral about every thing here is, beneath all that contempt and rage and frustration, Shauna is still just a kid who craves understanding. Who wants someone to realise what it's like to be in her shoes. Someone who can relate to her suffering. Since she won't do it herself.

Shauna Shipman has always had a bleeding heart. Her interactions with Javi and honestly even Jackie prove it.

She felt so much for her best friend but could never make sense of those convoluted thoughts. Or, more accurately, probably didn't allow herself to since she didn't know how. Kept burying her feelings because it was easier to deal with it all then.

However, that's where she was wrong.

Her complicated relationship with Jackie exists because every emotion she put a lid on, came out one way or the other. All she can now feel is guilt over it, but that won't get her anywhere. They are still out in the wilderness and Jackie is dead.

And then, Javi dies.

He meets his end in Nat's stead. The same Nat who gets made queen after escaping Shauna's blade, while Shauna had to butcher a kid she cared for. Much like the bond she had to sever when her own baby boy didn't make it, because they are out in the wilderness.

After going through all of this, after the place they have been stranded at has already taken so much from her, Shauna's only way of coping is to be recognised for her efforts. Maybe people will acknowledge everything she has lost then.

But Nat is still queen. And she barely had to sacrifice any piece of herself. In Shauna's eyes, this is an injustice. It keeps turning her already mutating grief into an anger. That festers and festers and keeps marinating, while the people around still don't see how much she has had to let go of.

They are incapable of doing so. Which, to her, means they can't even be bothered to acknowledge all that she is owed.

They are happy, and Shauna grows bitter. And she still doesn't receive the validation she so sorely desires. So, with Melissa beside her, she does what she can to force it her way. This leads her to become their next queen. But why she aches for it at all, never occurs to her. There's too much going on.

They are in the wilderness still. In tune with the wild, but not with themselves.

After all is said and done, Shauna Shipman is just a teenage girl who doesn't know how to process her emotions. And I think, once she grows up, she realises there's too much that needs sorting through. Is scared that if she starts, she will never stop. Definitely downright terrified of the truths it could reveal and how all of them will leave her shattered.

So, she turns into the blade she has had to wield... because the bleeding heart within can be taken away and placed as an offering to the wilderness.

The tragedy here for me is that Shauna won't let herself have what she not only so direly needs, but has also so desperately wanted for as long as she has been alone.

Making everyone, her teammates and husband and even her daughter, complicit in her actions is how she attains these means to her end. All the while though, she still has them away at arms length.

And it keeps hurting all those who matter to her. Even her very own self.

thinking about shauna listening to jackie talk about jeff like he never even mattered when shauna is pregnant with his baby because she just wanted something jackie had and wanted to be wanted by someone who wanted jackie and now jackie doesnt even care anymore and shauna is stuck with this forever. and then jackie dies and then the baby dies but not before shauna has to give birth to him in the wilderness in winter surrounded by people who eat the dead and now fucking jeff sadecki is the last thing she has of either of them and what the hell is she supposed to do with that? she's stuck with him forever.

thinking about shauna beating lottie almost all the way to death to get all of that rage out of her and then when that rage is out of her they give her a knife and tell her to slit natalie's throat, and then when natalie runs and shauna is let off the hook for one thing for once they give her the knife again and tell her to cut up javi, the closest thing to a baby, so they can eat him, and now she's stuck with this, too. and all that rage she burned off didn't go anywhere, really. it's still right there.

and then im thinking about shauna watching lottie and everybody else crown natalie the queen for virtue of not dying, which is the same thing everybody has been doing, except for jackie and the baby and javi who all took chunks of shauna with them and left her with nothing but a knife.

im thinking about shauna who watches everybody gossip and laugh through the springtime knowing that when winter comes she will be the person who will have to cut them all up one by one so the rest of them can live and its very easy to see why she isnt friends with any of them anymore by then. she looks at them and she sees cuts of meat and how is she supposed to look at anybody normally ever again after that?

and its cruel, of course it is, everything she does to coach ben. it's not his fault, it's not about him at all, really, except that he is exactly the problem. he's innocent. he judges them. he sees what they have had to do to survive and pretends he never profited from any of it. pretends to be above it, uninvolved. he judges them. he judges her.

and shauna needs complicity from these people. she needs somebody else to know what it feels like to hold the knife. she needs people to be stuck with those guilty votes forever. tai with the gun and melissa with the knife and natalie at the butcher's table so that she's not the only one. and so ben is the sacrifice.

i saw somebody say that shauna doesnt want natalie to have to feel the pain of butchering a person, thats why she puts the cloth over his face. but that's not true. she *needs* natalie to know the pain of it, the guilt of it, the weight. The cloth is a lie she told herself would make it easier but she knows that Natalie is about to know what the inside of this man's joints look like either way and that she's going to be stuck knowing that forever.

they are going to be rescued someday and everybody will say "we did what we had to do to survive" and shauna needs to not be the only one who really has to mean that when she says it. and i guess she has that now. or she's about to.

[alicentsgf]

so there’s clearly a time jump in the latest episode (of like 3-4 months I think) do you think shauna was thinking during that time how she could like overthrow Natalie? Because after she got that taste of power during the trial idk I find it hard to believe she wasn’t thinking about taking the leadership for herself during those months. Do you think Shauna would have eventually found a way to make herself leader if Nat didn’t kill Ben?

I think Shauna always has that desire for power but i dont know if shes been thinking rationally enough to be planning a coup tbh. Shes always been very impulsive and her rage is whats driving her atp. She seems to swing between anger, detachment, and confusion. I have wondered if its more than just postpartum rage and its actually some form of postpartum psychosis as well. The visual hallucinations she experiences could be a result of untreated postpartum psychosis, especially with the type of hallucinations she has. Trauma, lack of nutrition, and poor sleep are all risk factors and Shauna was suffering from all 3 even before enduring a traumatic stillbirth. Either way, I think her thought processes at the moment are pretty much all reactive, she lives in the moment except for when shes reliving her trauma. Considering this, it'll be interesting to see how she copes with a leadership role. I think she could start to hate it very quickly.

Beyond that I think she on some level knows its Lottie who holds the power in this respect, and Shauna is just not a good liar or manipulator. She associates a lot of pain with the wilderness religion/lottie so she tends to keep her distance and beyond that shes just not good with people lmao. like whatevers going on internally rn, she doesnt seem to be able to understand people in general, let alone someone as complex as Lottie, so even if she was thinking clearly i dont think she'd know how to swing things in her favour. Like you can see when lottie names her leader shauna is truly shocked, she hasnt been planning for this, she never thought lottie would choose her. I dont think shauna was even rly thinking about installing herself as leader when she was calling for nats head, she was just fucking angry. because of everything that happened the night javi died a lot of her angers been focused on nat and all that rose to the surface again in that moment. shes been undermining nat at every possible opportunity this season but i think once again thats just her reacting very organically to the situation in front of her, its not an overarching plan per se.

Theres also the fact shauna doesnt feel as powerless as she did anymore, so i think thats been mellowing her slightly. Tai says shes been "better" and I think thats what was meant. Like shes obviously not been happy, but feeling more control over things probably has her acting less volatile. she has melissa to exercise control over, giving her that adoration shes been seeking, and shes also probably feeling some security in the little bit of power she gets via the others fear of her. that might have been enough to fufill her desire for power at least for a while.

So basically, no i dont think so. Shaunas not a calculating or forward-thinking person like that, especially now. she just silently seethes and prays on peoples downfall. Definitely think she was at least subconciously hoping for an opportunity, but i dont think she was actively conspiring and I dont think she becomes leader without coach bens death. Not without something equally as big disrupting the order of things. honestly the chances of shauna eventually snapping and killing someone herself, resulting in her having a similar fate to coach bens, would be higher imo.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Besides Johnny who do you think was the closest to Dallas before he died and why?

Hmmmm, this one is tricky anon, because its hard to say.

First, I think it's important to note that Dally didn't really want to be close to anybody. He was close to the gang, as close as Dallas Winston could be to anybody, but I think he hated it, and saw that love/dependence as a weakness. Dallas liked being an outsider in the gang, he liked his independence, he liked going AWOL for indeterminate amounts of time and not being beholden to anyone. I think he despised himself for loving Johnny, and even then I don't think he was particularly close to him. Closer than he was to anyone else, sure, but that's not saying much. Dallas was a loner who got dragged kicking and screaming into caring about people, but I still don't think he ever let his guard down enough to truly get close to any of them. That to me, is just not how Dallas Winston operated.

But let's think about this, because I could well be wrong. Who was Dally closest to, apart from Johnny?

Part of me wants to say Soda and Steve. Dally was their age, Soda is notoriously easy to get along with, and something tells me Steve is a lot easier to have around when your name isn't Ponyboy Curtis. Dally was a rough guy and Steve is a gruff dude but I can see them sharing similar sense of dark humour and not annoying each other all too much. Furthermore, I think Steve and Dallas have similar anger issues, and Soda isn't as much of a sweetheart as Ponyboy thinks, so I could see them bonding over anger they don't really have a great outlet for, HOWEVER, there are some caveats here that make me think maybe this wasn't the case. For one, Dallas dropped out of school, presumably long before Soda ever had to, meaning Soda and Steve probably spent a lot of time there without Dallas, limiting time to get close. Besides that, Soda and Steve have been best friends since gradeschool. Theres always a duo in a trio is a fundamental truth and I think anyone hanging out solo with Soda and Steve would probably feel that in their bones. Those two have other buddies, buddies they care about, and Dallas was one of them- but they both probably weren't super close to Dallas. So let's consider some other points, shall we?

I don't think it was Darry. For one, there's a good three years between the two, despite the fact that Dally's social age is closer to Darry's than almost anyone else in the gang. Even still, I think Darry wanted to move up while Dallas was a poster boy for the most unsavoury parts of the east side, and then wehn Darry had to shape up and step up to care for his brothers, he probably didn't have much time to get particularly close to Dallas between working two jobs and fighting for custody and planning funerals. I think there's some strong respect on both sides, along with a recognition on Darry's end that Dallas is a lot younger than most people treat him or even remember, but I just don't see easy camaraderie there. They probably had a decent enough friendship, and they probably helped each other out in a pinch more than a few times, but I don't see them as having ever been particularly close.

Now while I think at the actual moment of his death Dally was probably closest to Ponyboy out of anyone in the gang, that was a recent development brought on by the incredibly intense and stressful events of the book, and in no way do I think it reflected how things were before. Ponyboy starts the story with a strong dislike of Dallas and a fear of him he doesn't like to acknowledge but that is definitely present. Clearly, they weren't super close- and if Bob had never been murdered, they never would have been.

Which brings us to Two-bit. Interestingly enough, I think this might be where the money lies. For one, Two-bit is even easier to get along with than Soda. He's easygoing and laid back and famously difficult to rile up into a true argument. For Dallas,- cold, abrasive, temperamental Dallas who picks fights like breathing and whose natural state of being is antagonistic- a temperament like Two-bit's is maybe the only kind of temperament that would mesh well with his, Two bit's very nature would allow him to brush off a lot of comments and things most guys wouldn't, allowing him to spend more time with Dallas than almost anyone else, That said, while Two is forging and easygoing, he's still an incredibly tough greaser, cool, smart, and good in a fight. That he's good in a fight and no coward means Dally can still respect him enough to properly be buddies with him in the first place (we know Dally abhors weakness- just look at how he bullies Buck. He'd never be friends with Two if he saw him the same way.) Besides all this, Two-bit and Dally share some interesting similarities in that they're both fundamentally violent creatures, they just express that violence in different ways. When you get right down to it though, at their cores, Two-bit and Dallas are very similar. This violence + their complimentary dispositions, and the fact that they probably spend some time hanging out when everyone else is at work or school and neither of them have anything better to do, makes me think they're the most likely 'close' friendship Dally had aside from Johnny.

Sorry this got so long. Thanks for the ask xx

[lotusrhys]

OC Meme: Angel "Rook" de Riva

GENERAL

Name: Angel de Riva

Alias(es): Rook

Gender: Male (Trans)

Age: 20

Place of birth: Somewhere in Tevinter

Spoken languages: Trade and some Antivan, on top of basic Elvhen.

Sexual orientation: Pansexual

Occupation: Veilguard Leader, Crow Assassin

FAVOURITE

Colour: Blue, the color of Viago's eyes.

Entertainment: He loves watching Viago work on his poisons and also naming them, he loves puns and so does Viago.

Pastime: He enjoys drinking, sparring, sex and frankly, he enjoys the Crow contracts - he gets to dish out violence and it's justified.

Food: Even though he doesn't know how to cook many things, he knows the basic to not starve. Does not enjoy wasting food, will eat anything as long it's minimally edible (unlike most people, he likes Harding's cooking).

Drink: Loves coffee (dark cherry blend is his favorite) and loves distilled spirits, hates wine (thinks it takes too many wine glasses to get drunk).

Books: Read functional books while he was studying with the Crows, but isn't particularly fond of reading. He does pick a novel up when Lucanis starts to talk excitedly about it, however.

HAVE THEY

Passed university: He's a full fledged Crow, 8 years until he graduated and received (in my Antidote AU, Crows receive a Crow dagger for their graduation) his graduation gift.

Had sex: With more women than he can count, less than 5 men in total. But he's definitely been around and treated sex like a sport.

Had sex in public: Yes, but it was forced.

Gotten tattoos: His mother had her Vallasin, but that was from a life with a Dalish clan before she met his father and ran away with him. Angel has tattoos, but they're self-inflicted almost, except for his Crow tattoo on his right calf of an Adder.

Gotten piercings: Pierced ears with a cross earring and simple hoop earrings on the upper part of his ear.

Had a broken heart: Twice. Both were Crow men.

Been in love: Thrice. Only 2 times went well for Angel.

ARE THEY

A cuddler: He's fond of physical touch, yes, but he associates most of it to sex. So when Lucanis is hesitant to even cuddle with Angel, he's frustrated and confused.

Scared easily: Fear keeps him grounded, but sometimes his anxiety takes over and he's a mess. He usually bottles it up until it explodes.

Jealous easily: He's jealous when it comes to affection, but not in a toxic way. He's poly, even though in my universe, he doesn't name it. He's fine with Viago having a relationship with Teia and would be fine if Lucanis wanted a relationship with another person.

Trustworthy: He tends to lie often to hide his feelings, but he is a trustworthy person. He's loyal to the people he's committed to.

FAMILY

Sibling(s): None. His mother would've never had him if she had the choice.

Parents: His father sold him to the Crows after Angel accidentally killed his mother. She hated him because he was a constant reminder of the Dalish Clan she left behind. She resented him and tried to kill him with a kitchen knife. Angel was faster. His father dies of old age while Angel is away in his exile, he inherits the family house.

Children: Angel gets pregnant once during the Antidote AU and Viago helps him with a poison, an abortion of sorts. Caterina doesn't accept the fact that Angel won't give her an heir, but Lucanis is firm in saying they can adopt. They adopt a little boy in the future called Diego.

Pets: He doesn't have his own space just yet to have pets, but he's amenable to having cats and snakes (Viago and Lucanis already have a pet snake each, he doesn't mind, thinks they're cute).

I will tag some people, just because this is fun af.

@starlightsupernovae @tomhenks @turidtorkilsdottir @apothe-cary @thechosendhova @kaeoticneutral @chaosfay-plays @vixenofcadmea

[jabbasyogainstructor]

Obi-Wan does mention her in a pretty meaningful way on the Kenobi series. Twice. He doesn’t say her name, but he’s talking to Leia both times, so he can’t say her name. He messes up the fake name for Leia and says “we lost her mother a while back, and sometimes when I look at Luna (fake Leia name), it’s like I’m looking at her.” Leia immediately clocks that Kenobi must have known her parents, and she questions him about it repeatedly later on. It’s an emotional bit, I felt Padme in that moment. He also vividly describes the personality traits she gets from both biological parents, specifically saying “those are traits you get from your mother.” When Bail and Breha say “I know who she’s like,” in the very first episode, talking about Leia’s stubbornness, they also mean Padme. They don’t mean each other or Anakin. Breha never met Anakin, but she spent a lot of time with Padme. It’s mentioned in all 3 novels written about Padme’s time as queen and senator from the POVs of several handmaidens and Padme herself: Queen’s Hope, Queen’s Peril, and Queen’s Shadow, all by EK Johnson. Padme visited and stayed for extended periods of time on Alderaan with Bail and Breha Organa. Go back and watch Kenobi again, Padme can’t force ghost, but she absolutely haunts that show, as hard as Anakin does. Kenobi feels he failed them both and is still failing to protect their children. Yes, it’s the most referenced she’s been in a while, but for the original trilogy, she didn’t have a name or backstory yet.

Also she was a full on character in the Clone Wars cartoon with her own episodes starting in season 1 and lasting until the end. Not just the middle and not just the love triangle. She had entire episodes devoted to her convincing independent and separatist worlds what the republic could do for them. Anakin and Obi-Wan weren’t even in two of those clone wars episodes. Tales of the Jedi, the funeral episode was almost entirely about her, we didn’t need her name spoken there. The point was that Ahsoka was so determined to pay her respects to this woman that she almost got caught.

I even got the impression that ObiWan focused so hard on Luke because he saw him as Anakin 2.0, a Skywalker padawan he would do right by this time. And if Leia was raised in a palace by the Queen and Senator for Alderaan, he knew exactly who she would become: Padme reborn, and I don’t think he could face that one. Obi-Wan raised Anakin, treated him like a brother, and then he had to kill him (or so he thought.) and he stopped Anakin only to have Padme die in front of him anyway. I mean, Obi-Wan probably sat in his Tattooine hermit cave and just focused on every person he had ever cared for and failed to protect, from Qui-Gon, to Satine, Anakin and Padme, every Jedi he’d ever called a friend, and the entire Republic itself. He refused initially to help a kidnapped 10 year old Leia because he has to watch “the boy” whose name he can’t seem to say because he knows he’s not Anakin and he knows he’s not NOT Anakin. “The girl” who both is and isn’t Padme in his mind, was their responsibility. Padme most definitely haunts the Obi-Wan Kenobi series if nothing else in the franchise.

Yes, Padme needs to be meaningfully named in future projects, but she is consistently referred to in the narrative. She’s not tuned out, people speak about her indirectly all the time. They refuse to say her name possibly because it seems to bring down the wrath of Vader. (I am theorizing that a lot of people who said her name around the time of her death got a red lightsaber height reduction. He’s pretty messed up about it.) I assume there’s lots of rumors about her: she put the emperor on the throne and then turned on him, who was the father of her baby, the other senator who was her rumored lover or one of the two Jedi who never left her side? Why is she the only senator who died? How did she die? Did she really die? There’s a more jokey version of this out there, that she’s a boogeyman on Geonosis, but I would bet that she is remembered, and respected and even feared in many places. In the Star Wars comics, she is mentioned constantly, her visage reflected in Naboo art through statues and stained glass windows, but none of that is canon anymore. Where Leia visits Naboo and looks at her and remembers that fuzzy baby memory or inherited a lot of her clothes. All Leia focused. But they were there.

There’s other tragic events people seem to prefer not to mention, Alderaan for instance. Jedi seems to be an actual banned word, Din Djarin had never even heard it before. She’s mentioned less, but she’s also been dead for years. How often do you mention long dead politicians in your everyday life? Unlike Anakin who showed up consistently in nearly every video game, movie and show, whether as himself or Darth Vader, she is actually dead. Memories of people fade, their legacies fade. Where’s Jar Jar been? He was a war hero, and he was her other senator rep for Naboo. He faded into obscurity as well, and he’s probably still alive. By the time of the mandalorian, she’s been gone at least 30 years. I don’t know in this current canon if Luke or Leia even know who their mother is yet (in legends, Luke went looking but never found her, and there are a few books relating to the movie canon that mention Leia being outed as Vader’s daughter to the New Republic, but I don’t know if they’re actually canon as of today) and I assumed that it was going to be revealed dramatically somewhere in the future.

I do agree with you that for marketing purposes, the women of star wars are woefully underrepresented. She should absolutely be on the RotS poster. They seem to still be working on the premise of “space and it has war in the title so these are boy toys.” My mother had to work to find Princess Leia merchandise for me when I was a kid, and this was before the prequels. I had a Princess Leia figurine in the gold bikini, got it for my birthday. I don’t think think that was supposed to be marketed towards 8 year old me, but it was all she could find. I used to work big box retail, so sometimes after my shift I’d go look in the toy aisle and there’s so many toys of the male characters, ones I didn’t know had names. And for like every 30 male characters, there’s one Princess Leia in the mix, no Padme/Amidala or Ahsoka or Jyn. Sometimes there’s a few Reys (they seem determined to push her more, maybe because she has no feminine dress code like most of the others do), but no Rose Tico and I’ve never seen an older, sequel trilogy Leia. Mon Mothma is non existent. Male Star Wars fans do nothing to help this situation, I have seen many claiming Leia, Ahsoka and Rey are overrated, never mind what they say about the others. (I have firmly come to believe that many of the most toxic Star Wars fans are actually just fans of complaining and this is a very convenient vehicle to project their own issues onto.)

Carrie Fisher used to complain that George Lucas owned her image, and she thought her face was everywhere. I don’t know if Princess Leia merch declined over time or if she had it better than she ever knew. Because it’s never been enough for me.

There’s rumors that Natalie Portman may return in a future season of Ahsoka or Obi-Wan, or some third and as of yet unnamed thing. Natalie herself said she would love to come back, because she feels Padme’s story isn’t finished.

You’re not wrong, she’s under-represented. But she’s never been eliminated.

No one with any kind of creative or executive power over the Star Wars franchise cares about Padme Amidala except George Lucas, and even he decided her story and her thoughts and her work weren't worth keeping in Revenge in the Sith in the end.

For the past 20 years she's been a pawn, a narrative reason to explain Anakin's fall. She gets little to no merchandise and only sparing attention in the books and comics. The Clone Wars gives her a couple of cool Senate scenes in the middle seasons and then refuses to do much with her otherwise except put her in a convoluted, contrived love triangle to showcase Anakin's possessiveness. She's nowhere to be found or mentioned in Obi-Wan despite being one of his closest friends. Ahsoka went to her funeral but still never spoke her name. Luke and Leia never mention their mother in the sequels. Andor never brings her up despite revolving around the birth of the Rebellion, focusing on the ways people resist against fascist governments, and co-starring one of Padme's best friends. It's incredibly frustrating.

She's a ghost, she's haunting the narrative, she's a core facilitator of Lucas's thematic and political messaging, but Disney will never speak her name or acknowledge her importance or do ANYTHING with her. They won't even put her on the damn ROTS 20th anniversary posters! What will it take for people to finally acknowledge Padme and give her ANY kind of respect and narrative spotlight?