#and people are like oh maybe their just nice Slytherins but nope name just stole your money and zoro destroyed your friends watcha gonna do

[whirlybirdwhat]

one day I'll finally type up that Harry Potter au where all the strawhats are Slytherins because their ambition is just too damn big 

[kuroosmikasavolleyball]

Her Game

Abendrot

(n) the color of the sky when the sun is setting; a certain afterglow.

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

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a/n: I’m so sorry this is late! I got really busy with school work and other stuff and Part 4 wasn’t ready to post on Sunday. Here it is though, I hope you enjoy. This is the second to last part of the series(I think). I hope you understand the connection to the series title now a little bit but it gets better😏 I don’t know if this counts as slow-burn but…yeah. Anyways, feel free to like, republish, and message me. Requests and taglists are open! This is a safe and loving place for everyone and any hate will be shut down. Enjoy reading<3

Part 4 summary: Ravenclaw and Slytherin verse in the second and last quidditch game of the season. New strategies, doubt, nervousness from what happened earlier is bundled up for (Y/N), and all she needs to focus on is winning this game. Will Slytherin take the win and bragging rights, or will Ravenclaw emerge victorious?

pairing: cedric x fem!reader(in ravenclaw)

genre: fluff

warnings: uh nothing

word count: 1.6k(how did this happen-)

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“What’s got your mood down the drain?”

Kimball peers at (Y/N)’s woeful face, “Don’t tell me you’re nervous; this new plan has already got me shaky.”

She would’ve told Kimball what had happened last night if Roger wasn’t right next to her.

(Y/N) leans her head on the palm of her hand. “It’s nothing. Can we just continue planning, please?” Roger looks at her, a bit worried as well.

“Maybe..this plan should stay a draft. I’ll go tell the team.” Roger almost gets up but (Y/N) stops him. “No, wait. I’m ok; I promise. Let’s do this.”

Fred and George walk in and (Y/N) speaks, “Just gimme a sec.” and goes towards them.

“Hey hey! How’s my favorite Ravenclaw?” Fred ruffles her hair and she swats the hand away.

“She’s..ok I guess. Kimball and Roger came up with a plan yesterday and somehow the whole team liked it. We’re gonna test it out during the pre-game practice but I’m a little terrified.”

“You smarties always come up with something, huh? Don’t worry about it; you’ll be great. I even got my special edition Ravenclaw hat!” George playfully lifts a blue and bronze homemade hat made by Mrs. Weasley. (Y/N) has the same kind for Gryffindor, but she’s smart enough not to wear it in public.

“You don’t have to cheer me up; I’m fine. By the way, have you seen Ced? He hasn’t come down for breakfast yet.”

“Nope, we haven’t; he must be off on his ~prefect duties~.”

George scrunches up his face in disgust.

They say their goodbyes and head to the Gryffindor table. Just as (Y/N) is about to go looking for Cedric, he walks in with a painful expression.

“God, I should’ve listened to you, these hangovers are not worth it.”

Huh? How is that his first sentence? Doesn’t he rememb-

“You ok? You know you have nothing to be nervous about today, right? Ravenclaw will definitely win.”

“Oh yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just..do you remember last night at all?”

Cedric cocks his head to the side. “Uh.. a bit. I remember coming into the Ravenclaw common room, we played a drinking game..then it gets fuzzy. But I remember you walking me to my common room; thanks for that.”

Oh? He..doesn’t remember.

“Ah ok..that was most of the night so you didn’t miss too much. Go eat and drink water; you’ll feel better.”

The warmth in her ears and cheeks felt a bit too overwhelming once in the Ravenclaw locker room. Normally, a quidditch game wouldn’t have struck up such nervousness in (Y/N), or just the Ravenclaw team in general. They knew how to calm down in time for the game and bring all their assets to the table. Except now, there was only one match that determined everything.

Roger was almost roaring. “Alright guys! I know we’re all a little on edge right now, but let’s get to the point. We know Slytherin plays a dirty game but we’re staying fair. Don’t let rage take you over, think and focus, we got this. Let’s go out there and win this!”

He continued to give separate instructions to the beaters, the keeper, and the seeker. He turned to (Y/N) and Kimball, firing up to go.

“Before you say anything, Davies. We know what to do, we’ll try the plan out right now during the practice, ok? Now calm down.”

Kimball was surprisingly stable today and it was no doubt she was going to have a good match. Roger visibly deflated but kept a smug look in his face.

Hooch told them Ravenclaw was going first for practice so the team kicked off into the air.

(Y/N)’s hair was tied back and the breeze tickled her face. She missed this feeling; so freeing and beautiful.

Before long, Kimball nodded towards (Y/N) and took off. She stayed higher up and Roger acted as an opponent chaser. They released the Snitch, the Bludgers, and the Quaffle, and started a mock game. Roger zoomed past (Y/N) and she went behind him. Kimball followed (Y/N) but from above. (Y/N) stole the Quaffle and headed to the three goals, where their Keeper stayed, and scored.

(Y/N) kept the Quaffle and tried to score again, but Roger stole the ball and that’s when Kimball came into the playing area. She quickly picked the ball from Roger and scored while (Y/N) flew up. This was their plan; have one chaser on the pitch and the other two above, following the movements. As soon as the ball was stolen or the chaser runs out of stamina, another substitutes in. If all three chasers from the other team started tagging the one chaser, the other two will come down to help. Roger had checked with Hooch to see if the tactic broke any rules and she allowed the Ravenclaw team to use it.

The Slytherin team practiced regularly and it was a relief to not see any crazy strategies.

We can win this.

The houses filed in, chattering their heads off as the teams got ready to enter the field. The Ravenclaw team was introduced and they flew up, similar to the Slytherin team except for Lee’s backhanded comments.

“The game is the last one of the season! But don’t worry, I’m sure the Triwizard Tournament will be entertaining! Let’s get on now; today’s match is Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin. I hope you all cheer for the right team!”

He got a slight warning from Mcgonagall and that was it. Marcus Flint and the other players were all mounted on their fancy brooms; (Y/N) was a tad jealous, but her Comet 290 did the job. Hooch gave warnings and blew the whistle, and before (Y/N) knew it, the game began.

The strategy had worked so far except for a short period where Draco Malfoy was chasing the Snitch and almost crashed into (Y/N) and Kimball, who were waiting above and had to move away really quickly.

Roger was running out of breath and (Y/N) noticed, so she flew down after telling Kimball and took his spot. A red-haired Slytherin chaser had the Quaffle, so (Y/N) speeded towards them. One of the beaters hit a Bludger towards the chaser and (Y/N) swooped in to take the Quaffle when they were distracted.

“Nice hit, Jason!” She yelled as she went past him, dodging Marcus Flint.

“and…(Y/L/N) scores! The score is now 50-35 with Ravenclaw in the lead.”

Cheers grew even louder and (Y/N) swore she locked eyes with Cedric as she flew past the Hufflepuff tower.

Ravenclaw’s seeker, Cho Chang was a little quiet and the year below (Y/N), but she was amazing on the field. There was a point in time last year where Cedric took an interest to her, but it faded..(Y/N) hopes.

The game was similar to the last, taking a long time and the players started to lose energy. As the year had just started, it was fall and the sun set earlier. The breeze up above was chilly and the chasers of Ravenclaw went back to the regular strategy, even though the one they were using didn’t require a lot of stamina, they were getting tired of having to fly up and down. The score was 140-145 with Slytherin in the lead.

It was a little early for the sun to have set completely but the horizon line was blending. (Y/N) remembered a time where Cedric told her a word for this scenery...abendrot. The violent tango of the blue and orange hues made for a majestic view.

She was temporarily distracted since Roger had the Quaffle when she heard Lee’s voice booming, “Just as Davies scores..Chang is closing in on the snitch..SHE’S CAUGHT IT! RAVENCLAW WINS!”

The team quickly flew down and cheered for Cho, but it felt like a mutual celebration since everyone did so well. Kimball hugged (Y/N) tight and whispered about how her legs are going to be so sore.

They giggled amongst themselves until George’s voice ripped through the crowd and screamed (Y/N)’s name. The other houses were rushing up too, congratulating their friends and other players. (Y/N) was lifted and hugged by the twins and she spotted Cedric running up.

“Hell, if you think our game was good, this was amazing!” Fred laughed and set her down.

“I feel like most people weren’t watching towards the end since it was so long.”

Cedric finally caught up and spoke, “Nonsense, (Y/N). You did so well today, especially when you swooped in near the goal when Warrington had the Quaffle; you just stole it and dropped it in. He didn’t even realize.” A smile graced his face.

He noticed details..

“(Y/N)? You okay?”

“..Thanks! Yeah..um, sorry that was a really long game so I’m just tired.”

The twins and Cedric went back to their common room as Ravenclaw celebrated in a more calm way than Hufflepuff did.

A few students sat around the fireplace, but most of the players went to bed early.

“Did you see Malfoy’s face? He looked like he was about to kill someone with that grimace.” Inglebee chattered.

Kimball and (Y/N) went back to the dorms after signaling to their friends that they’re going because they couldn’t keep their eyes open.

(Y/N) thought back to how the sky looked when the sun kissed the mountains in the distance and fell asleep thinking about the fond memory of today and of when she learned from a certain someone about what that sunset is called. Abendrot.

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[callmetippytumbles]

Thoughts on THOTs, TRR Book 3, Chapter 3: Sometimes Petty Ain’t Enuff

This week’s THOTs were king of a drag to get through. I can’t put my finger on why.  Maybe I want to focus more energy on my fanfics.  Maybe I was not given enough opportunities for petty as I required when being asked to deal with A Demon.  Maybe I was feeling pretty meh about this chapter as a whole.  Lord knows.  I have been like:

Issa mood and a lifestyle.  When it comes to this chapter.

You guys deserve better than this.  I thought I was better than this.  I am not. Bullshit and lies.

So the chapter opens in the boutique with Maxwell and Bertrand.  Look at how far we have fallen.  Last week I was being greeted by my love, and this week I have to be stank with Bertie and Ernie Maxwell.  Halle, per the usual, stays asking the real ass questions:

When DO I get to see my duchy and why aren’t we going over therre?

I don’t want this.  I would like a Plan B.  Halle continues to press the pertinent questions.  

It’s like she does not want to have to grovel in front of this raggedy heifer who stepped to her crazy at her own party.  For the why Bertrand? Why are you trying to make it seem as if I can’t get ANYONE else?

That doesn’t cover the Demon piece, Bertrand. We could get someone else.  Like Kiara.  Kiara would be dope.  She is excellent in court, has connections to the press, is driven, can speak multiple languages.  Plus Kiara is so skilled A Demon made Kiara her second in command.  Why not her? Oh PB made sure she got knifed up during the Homecoming Ball so that I have to let Bertrand continue with this bullshit.

Well, I can give you guys that.  Remember how that Demon spun intentional psychological fuckery and downgraded that to hazing with no comeuppance?

Again, Halle keeps asking the real questions:

Yeah, the bitch likes green and black, but that does not answer the question I put before you.  Why would IT help us?  Maxwell and Bertrand don’t want to think about that question.  They want to dress you up to appeal to Slytherin them peoples in Fydelia and Champagne Mami.

Da alphet o da wheek!

So not only is Halle going to have to grovel to a motherfucking Demon to offer it a job IT does not motherfucking need like it’s the only motherfucking person who can help us.  Halle has to do all of that in Cordonian Fashion Nova thotwear.

Do we really have to do this? If not A Demon we can get someone else.  Liam has like a whole fugging team of press people.  Why can’t I get one of them? Or a recommendation from one of them to get someone like one of them.  I would rather have Chance the Rapper Berry be my press secretary.

Also, I do not think that Fashion Nova thotwear is going to get a Demon to be like “Yeah, let me get a job working for the THOT that stole my man and crown.” Halle agrees.

She is smiling though because while the dress isn’t winning A Demon over, she still likes thotwear and that will win Liam over.  I will take the teensiest morsel that I can get.

Before I can show off my teeny tiny dress to My King, Bertrand, continues to heap on the shit.  I have other goals besides intentionally failing to convince a Demon that IT needs a job so that we can get a Plan B.  We have to persuade Champ Mami to come to our wedding and bring her mans as well.  Halle:

PB:

Halle is also confused as to why we are seeing this man for the first time today.  She also is like “hus-WHOM?”

Adelaide acts like she doesn’t have a husband because she doesn’t.  She has an arrangement with a sponsor.  Sponsors are not there to give things like love, emotional support, vitamin D.  Those things are outsourced since Champ Mami will not go without.  Especially her vitamin D.  She needs it to live and thrive.  It makes sense to me that she doesn’t like this dude.  Halle still has to care if this stingy dude sits in the pews while she marries her king.

Bertrand also makes a point to say that Champagne Mami and her sponsor are on the outs. Me:

Bertrand suggests talking to them separately and learning information to benefit this whack ass cause.  Halle is like:

Bertrand:

Me:

So not only do I have to beg this Demon to take a job IT does not need, do it while wearing Slytherin’s Fashion Nova collab, I also have to be Iyanla to these rich people?

After the boutique, we finally are on our way to the depths of Hades Champagne’s Mami’s house.

Just before we brace ourselves for the bullshit, Halle has the first of her few interactions with Liam. Liam:

Me:

I mean I would have a lot on my mind. I have to brown nose to a beast… Halle though is better than me because instead of like taking a moment to get steeped in feelings and butthurt is trying to get information on Godfrey.  Really, PB? They can’t even be nice and give me this Godfrey:

Much rather be talking to him than some bitter-ass Brit who doesn’t give a fuck about his wife, or her home.  FML. Anyway, Liam does not have much to offer on The Sponsor other than he married Champagne Mami for political reasons and likes titles and shits on fun.  Basically the opposite of the Champagne Champion who loves fun and mess.  I can understand why the dick and the other components of a life partner are outsourced.  

While Halle is attempting to get in the spirit, she isn’t entirely above a dig.

The dig does not make this any easier though. Liam:

Because you will be by my side right? Liam:

BULLSHIT BALL TIME!

It is not even a second into this, and Regina is dragging Champagne Mami.

Champagne Mami isn’t a punk and can serve some back.  

Not too much because she knows her cousin is the queen, but enough. Damn Schumrda Qween is a savage.  If I didn’t like Champagne Mami so much, I would salute her.  I am already torn.

When I was talking to @lizzybeth1986, she pointed out Champ Mami is doing Regina a favor by hosting this party.  That is a substantial point.  Right now, the nobility is not fucking with the royal family because they do not want to get the Drake/Bastien/Justin/Kiara treatment.  Adelaide not only agrees to host the King, her petty ass cousin Regina, who still take shots at her despite already being queen and basically winning, the royal staff, the man who rejected your child because he was done and the woman who he rejected your child for AND her friends. That is a lot to ask Gina.  Then after Adelaide does all of this shit, no one shows up and Regina is still making an effort to ROAST her.  I feel for Adelaide.  I really do.

Next to Champ Mami is this stiff AF dude.  That is her sponsor husband, Godfrey most definitely not Gao.  I can feel the stick up his ass from here.

Maxwell is like magic friendship dust will fix this.  I am like:

Halle is desperate, so she buys in I guess.  I mean, this is a high ass first hurdle.  Halle will take whatever.  She then goes to A Demon to get laughed at so that she can fail and Bertrand will have to let a Plan B happen. Demon:

Well, at least Halle is a duchess, Countess of Hades Fydelia.  Halle is kind enough not to point this out. I feel otherwise:

There was a petty option, I took a petty option.  I have no desire to be a better person.  Not like it will matter anyway. A Demon does not even take the bait. Why not just twist the knife deeper PB?  A Demon is over this shit too:

Halle needs to quickly fail this fuckass mission, so she asks A Demon if it wants a job.  As predicted A Demon is like:

Me:

Halle, just to say that she really tried:

Demon:

Me:

OHWELLITRIED!

Halle:

Also Halle:

After Halle’s deliberate failure, she looks to her friends and fiance for comfort and support.  It’s a difficult time for her.  Her fiance is MIA.  Well, Liam just wants to sleep alone.  Hana does point out that Liam is trying to talk to the other nobles who did risk their lives to be seen rockin’ with the royal family tonight.  Halle:

I kind of picture this event for Halle being pretty eye-opening regarding getting a taste of what actually working with Liam is like.  There may be times where she would prefer him to be by her side, and she would look, and he isn’t there.  This wouldn’t bother Liam so much because he is used to this.  He grew up in this life, so this isn’t an issue for him.  Halle didn’t. Also, she is beyond new to her.  Liam could have been a little more invested in being present for Halle during a difficult task.  I know Halle technically asked to do this solo, but he should have known better than to take her at her word for something like this.  Maybe checked in.  Now Halle has to kick you out of bed and make herself horny and mad.  Great job husbando!  Additionally, it would have been nice to see what Liam was doing behind the scenes while Halle had to eat crow.  

Anyway, at least Halle’s friends are on her side. Maxwell and Hana:

Me:

Halle:

Drake is unimpressed by A Demon’s party.  Why he should be? It’s a buffet.  I expected better from your peeples Satan.  He is unimpressed by most parties that have fancy food and booze that isn’t whiskey.  At least his simple tastes ensure his loyalty to Halle.  

Nope. Spoke too soon.  Drake is all about that pasta because its man food and hesa man and rah!  Halle still eats the food because she obviously did not read the Count of Monte Cristo.  If Halle did, she would know that skipping the food would be an insult to communicate that she does not fuck with that demon over there.  Take a page from Schmurda Qween or even Olivia.  Halle though is not above free food so she too sells herself out.

Because this party is not shitty enough, who else but Neville to take things from worse to worser.  At least it is just Neville.  Drake runs into him with a plate of pasta.  Neville ignores Drake at first and focuses on Halle. Neville presents it as congratulations, it becomes super obvious that it actually a vehicle for a barrage of backhanded compliments. Halle is like:

Drake on the other hand:

Drake will jump in front of a bullet for you, cuss someone out if they call you out your name, but his ride or die stops at pasta.  I can take that.  Neville did not like that Drake, a commoner, had the nerve to buck to him crazy.  He is big mad.  So he starts talking down to Drake.  The whole tirade is trash, but then Neville goes too far:

Me:

Drake is about to go full “Knuck if You Buck” on this dude, but Halle pulls him back. Like any other dude with too much privilege and not enough punches to the face, he still continues to try it.

I am like:

This party is shit anyway.  Let it come to violence!  This fuckboy deserves.  Hana intervenes and knows how to end things quickly and nonviolently.  Apparently, Neville not only is absolutely ain’t shit, but he is also a freeloader:

So you don’t want to support me, Our King, but you are just coming on this tour to find a bedwarmer? If you don’t… Hana who is too good for this world suggests trying to invite this bastard to freeload at my wedding as well as the Unity/Begging Tour.

Drake has had enough and excuses himself.  Halle being done and it’s been a while since PB has held their hand out for diamonds follows him.  Of course, there is a diamond scene with Drake, for 20 diamonds, you can teach him how to dance.  Drake wants to learn because since he cannot go full Hulk on Neville and send him to his maker, he figures getting 3 10’s on Dancing With the Stars is a good way to get back at Neville.  If you are petty like me, the Drake roasting begins now.  If you are not petty, the roasting is later.  Halle is petty, and she has some moments.  

Drake:

Halle:

Now that Halle is done, she teaches Drake some moves.  If you are romancing Drake, this scene is much more romantic.  For those of us that aren’t its symbolizes that our messy, hoeing days are done.  Pour one out for our messy heaux pasts and 30 diamond scenes I will never forget.  That thigh grab move is EVERYTHING.

Drake wants to try dancing because he wants to step up for Liam (he wants to step up for you if he is romancing you) and be seen as more than Liam’s Professional Best Friend.  Halle teaches Drake the Cordonian Waltz.  I am like “Drake is not ready for that, start easy with the Lean Back and work your way up.”  This echoes a little to when Hana taught Halle, but I found it more echoing back to when Halle dances with Drake during the Coronation Ball.  During that dance, Halle does all of the work and Drake kind of just stands there and doesn’t engage with the dancing.  His being willing to do that much is him trying.  This time Drake makes a point to actually learn the steps and be an active participant as opposed be reluctantly present.  Halle points out that his active participation is essential:

There is a moment where Drake and Halle are holding each other close.  It could have been very messy and full of tension, but since I am not romancing Drake and TRR heaux season is over it isn’t.

Back at the Bullshit Ball, Bertrand is looking for us.  I have made no headway with convincing A Demon that the best way to bounce back from being a two-time loser for the crown is to get a job working for the woman who is responsible for defeat #2.  Bertrand is not trying to discuss Plan B.  Me:

Apparently, it’s time to talk to Champagne Mami and Her Sponsor. Regina is talking to Adelaide and Liam is talking to Godfrey not Gao.  Me and Halle are very whatever about it, but I guess we must try.  I start off easy because a wedding is basically a party and Champagne Mami loves parties.  Also, this victory could set up the momentum for another victory.  This is a slam dunk, right?

Regina and Adelaide are busy going in.  They were ready to be like:

Halle interrupts that tense conversation to invite Champagne Mami to the wedding. Champagne Mami:

Halle, you fucked up girl.  Don’t lead with the wedding, lead with the party.  Anyway, Champagne Mami can’t always prioritize drinking top-shelf liquor for free and seeking new dick.  Sometimes you do have to care about things like your fucked up rich family problems.  Champ feels a way that her baby isn’t even trying to let Champ comfort IT with booze, rom-coms and crass talk about men.  Me:

I would love to do ALL of those things with you! Why can’t you be my mom?  Also, of course, A Demon does not appreciate those things.  Those are good, fun things. A Demon cannot understand good and fun things because light and darkness do not mix.

Adelaide wants to be a mother and be there for her child. She wants her child to put herself first for a change. A Demon has been doing that.  How much champagne have you been drinking?  She also wants her child to open up to some people.

Leave my friends out of this.  I am sure A Demon could summon up some similarly demonic buddies using a pentagram or whatever.

After that Champ Mami shoves us away to enjoy this terrible party.  Now we have to talk to The Sponsor.  He is right now talking to my MIA fiance.  Liam:

Once Liam makes his quick exit, Halle is left to speak to this stick in the mud, who doesn’t like her with no support.  Halle is off to a great start by messing up his title, the one thing he cares about.  The Sponsor does not let up.  He starts out the way A Demon starts out in Chapter 19.  

A Demon is definitely its father’s child.

At least he likes your Slytherin Fashion Nova thotwear.

Then he wants to call you out your name, but this is the one time where the petty comes in handy.  When you remind him of your title:

Birdman:

With that win, Halle presses on.  She invites him to the wedding, but Godfrey not Gao is like:

Halle:

Well, all three of those are excellent reasons for this man not to attend your wedding, Halle.  You stole things from his child, he does not give a single fuck about Cordonia, and he is afraid of his in-name-only wife.  I focus on the big one, you know, that Halle straight disrespected his child.  

His beef with you immediately spills into his beef with his wife.

Me @ “daughter’s defeat”:

He leaves, and goodness can enter our lives again in the form of Hana.  Before we can call it a night, Neville decides to ask an uninterested Demon to dance with him.  Drake is like:

So a ballroom dance battle begins.  Since this battle is being instigated by men, things escalate quickly.  Neville is outchea doing dramatic dips.  Drake is not going to let some bitch wearing Roger Moore’s ugly suit show him up.  Nevermind the fact that like 20 taps ago we just taught him how to do more than the running man, which was still a little complicated for him.  Doesn’t matter, Drake wants to end this.  Halle knows what to do: a lift.

Um, Halle, this is not Dirty Dancing.  Baby and Johnny fucked the lift a whole bunch of times before the end of the movie.  DRAKE’S SHOULDER IS ALL FUCKED UP BECAUSE OF THAT TIME HE TOOK A BULLET FOR YOU!  PB is gonna have that arm just fall off out of nowhere.  Drake is unsure, but Halle is doing it.  Since you know, plot, they pull it off.  

This leaves Neville pissed.  How dare someone who wears denim tuxedos and has no respect for plaid make him look bad!  He can cry in a corner about his inadequacy later.  

Luckily, Hana suggests that we can get A Demon talking about getting her drunk.  Look at Hana and these excellent ideas.  I would much sooner use her intellect to cook up a Plan B that does not involve asking A Demon to work, but PB is insisting on this.  You can choose any of your friends to invite her to play.  I tried Drake thinking IT would refuse, but IT will say yes to whomever.  A Demon would rather drink with us as opposed to drinking alone.

Because PB does not have enough of our money, they make a point to demand some now.  Halle:

There is a book?

Anyway, the drinking game is Cordonia’s Best, where you create superlatives and then nominate the people you are playing with to get them.  The winner has to drink.  

A Demon still mad stays hatin’, starts with Halle.  

However, this quickly becomes a Drake roast.  Hana delivers a masterful read:

Me:

Drake tries to go in on me:

I see how it is, I teach your simple-ass how to dance, and this is how you repay me.  I see how it is.  Halle continues to shade Drake for the rest of the night. 

Maxwell agrees.

Drake:

Like?

A Demon finished her drink and Maxwell, and Drake grabs more booze. Leaving Hana and Halle alone with A Demon.  Halle who is better than me attempts empathy.  It does not know empathy.  So IT can know compassion as long as you dampen the evil with booze.

I almost felt for IT.  I can understand what it is like to Tracy Flick level of ambition and lose.  However, I cannot get past that time you said you wanted to psychologically break my best friend for fun:

So:

A Demon is like:

Then:

How can you read that and still not feel bad for A Demon?  

I can understand what IT is going through and at the same time would like for it to fuck itself now and for the rest.  PB wants to force this redemption narrative like my feelings do not matter. Demon:

Welp! I tried.

The game end and everyone return to the main hall to see Champagne Mami go AWF!  Her fucks are gone, her booze is gone, and she is done.  

The Sponsor wants to keep it down, but Addy is not having it on tonight. A Demon joins in.

Halle:

Me:

What? Let those rich people hash it out.  I don’t need to get involved.

Maxwell:

Me:

Maxwell pushes you, and you have to go in there like Iyanla. Halle:

Not that moment.  (But you should watch it, it’s funny!)

Well PB says that I have to come in on some magical negro/manic pixie dream girl shit and get y’all to sing the “I Love You” song from Barney so you can come to my wedding even though I don’t want you to be there.

Demon:

Me:

Excuse me? I broke nothing.  Sure I disrespected you, undermined you at every opportunity, embarrassed you after you asked me not to, got your mama to undermine you with me, but you signed up for that the moment you put that Liam could have me on the side as part of the deal.  Also, you fucked things up all by your lonesome.  

Halle:

Bitch, you would not have even gotten a chance if Connie did not come through with the bullshit at the eleventh and a half hour so that Liam could choose you when we BOTH know that he was gonna pick me from jump bitch! From jump!  And you fucking knew it because if you secure in your chances Demon, you would not have been bargaining with him in the middle of the night and agreeing to a side chick in the first place!

Oh, you want to forget that little nugget of 24 Karat fact!  

Champagne Mami co-signs but Godfrey is not mystified by Halle’s Iyanla.  Iyanla Halle gets him together too.

Me:

I am tired of this.  I hate that the MC literally had to be a family therapist to these people who can afford a family therapist that can get them together.  I hate that this was done to facilitate a redemption to someone who does not need it.  I hate that Liam left me to do ALL of the heavy liftings on this.  If Halle had to be Iyanla, why can Liam put on his Dr. Phil pants?

Halle fixes this family.  Champagne Mami will come to your wedding with her sponsor.

Well, Y’all know what happens next.

Chapter ends with the worst wake up call ever:

Random Thoughts:

Why am I being made to care about the family squabbles of these people? Is the Unity Tour a Halle does her best Iyanla tour?  All of these families could just hire Iyanla directly.  I know Iyanla works with Oprah, but she isn’t above money, and those families have money. 

I am going to riot if this happens for ALL of the tour. 

There was way too little of My King in this chapter.  Like he really was like “U Gud” and left me to fend for myself. I think this chapter was written more for people who are not with Liam in mind.  I don’t see how to divide and conquer is a good strategy when we are fighting for our country as well as our union.  Shouldn’t we show them more union? 

I hate this storyline so intensely.  Like: I didn’t think I could hate a storyline as much as I hated Bertrand and his baby mama drama, but this is taking me to new levels of hatred. 

Since we are going to Penelope’s next week, I have a feeling we will be dealing with PTSS.  She has a history of anxiety, and she was at the Homecoming Ball where she saw her bestie get knifed.  We will definitely talk about how that affected her next week.

Also, I do not ship Hana with A Demon.  A Demon said that she looked like a Disney princess, now they have a lurve story? FOH!  A Demon set out to emotionally traumatize Hana, FOR FUN.  I can’t get past that.  I know a lot of people would say that Hana is over it.  My response to that is Hana is over the hazing thing.  Hana did not hear A Demon say that she wanted to break her.  She was being escorted to the train by Drake.  Halle (MC) heard that and we as the readers know that.  I don’t think Hana would want to hookup with someone knowingly or unknowingly who wanted to psychologically abuse her.

I am going to go to my fanfics where they love me and I get all the Liam I want and no Demon.

[det-vackraste]

99 questions I stole somewhere so I could answer them

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I enjoy having them neatly closed, but I always hang clothes and stuff over them, so they end up being open 2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Sometimes. If they've felt nice when I've used them. 3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Tucked in. 4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No, but my dad stole one with a wild boar on it 5: Do you like to use post-it notes?<br> I do, never actually do it though.<br> 6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Yeah.. 7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Swarm of bees? 8: Do you have freckles? I do, but they're mostly visible after I've gotten some sun on my face. 9: Do you always smile for pictures? Very often, but I also do this very stupid thing where I sort of scrunch up my nose and mouth when people take my picture. Don't know why.. 10: What is your biggest pet peeve? Cliché, but chewing with an open mouth. 11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Not that I can think of, but I'm easily influenced, so I might start unwillingly now. Thanks. 12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Lol yeah 13: What about pooped in the woods? Lol yeah 14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Yeah. 15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? No, but I bite my nails when I'm restless 16: How many people have you slept with this week? One 17: What size is your bed? Queen size (?), 160cm 18: What is your Song of the week? Only Angel, by Harry Styles 19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes. YES. 20: Do you still watch cartoons? Don't really watch tv, so it doesn't happen that often, but when I do I enjoy it. 21: Whats your least favorite movie? I am legend. Fuck that movie. You all know what I mean. 22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Somewhere too obvious for people to bother looking there. 23: If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size? Oh, let's see if I can get this right in some sort of international size.. 34DD (75E in Swedish sizes) 24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? I don't eat chicken nuggets, but I would dip them in ketchup. 25: What is your favorite food? Tacos. End of story. 26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Spirit, Hercules.. probably more. I'm very easily entertained by movies. 27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? My boyfriend. 28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Nope. 29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Don't like being public, so I wouldn't wanna be in a magazine. I could probably strip in a small club or at a party though. Wouldn't mind that too much. Could be fun. 30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Wow... eeh.... like 7 years ago when I wrote a letter to future me. 31: Can you change the oil on a car? In theory yes. Never actually done it though. 32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nein. I'm lame in traffic. 33: Ever ran out of gas? No, close though. 34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Tomato, Swedish präst cheese, some salt and pepper on a nice sourdough bread. 35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? I really enjoy oatmeal with fresh blueberries and raspberries, and some cinnamon. 36: What is your usual bedtime? Depends on if I have work the day after. If I do, I try to be asleep by like 11pm. If I don't, I usually go to sleep at like 1am or something like that. 37: Are you lazy? Yeah.. 38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Didn't really dress up that much for halloween. Live in a tiny village, so there weren't really that many opportunities. 39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Rat I think..? 40: Are you horny? Man, most of the time yeah. 41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No I don't, had one when I was like ten. 42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos of course. What even are Lincoln logs? 43: Are you stubborn? I can be... but like in a low-key way. 44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? Those names don't ring a bell, really... so I don't know 45: Ever watch soap operas? Not my thing really. 46: Are you afraid of heights? If I'm standing on a high edge, I am, but not otherwise. 47: Do you sing in the car? Lol yeah... too much and too loud. I think people on the streets can hear me go. 48: Do you sing in the shower? No, for some reason I don't really do that? 49: Do you dance in the car? Yeah 50: Ever used a gun? I've used an air rifle, but that's about it. Doesn't really count maybe? 51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Uhhh...? Like... three and a half years ago for picture day? 52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yeah. They are. Love them though. 53: Is Christmas stressful? Can be. Especially when I've postponed Christmas gift shopping. 54: Ever eat a pierogi? Yeah man, made 'em myself many times. 55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Blueberry or rhubarb 56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Okey. So... I wanted to be a ballerina that danced around in a flower shop. No lie. 57: Do you believe in ghosts? Don't know if I believe in ghosts, per se, but I think it seems fishy that death is just nothing? You know? 58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Too many times, man. 59: Take a vitamin daily? I try to take vitamin D sort of daily in the winter, to sort of compensate for the lack of sun we have here in the north during winter. 60: Wear slippers? When I'm somewhere sunny on vacation. 61: Wear a bath robe? When I borrow my boyfriend's to run to the bathroom at night. 62: What do you wear to bed? Nothing. Everyone should. 63: First concert? I think it was Amy Diamond, this really young, Swedish sweetheart that was popular like 12 years ago in Sweden. Saw her when I was like eight. Good one. Besides that, my first real concert was the ark I think.. Great Swedish band! 64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Don't have any of those in Sweden, and can't remember if I've been to any of them when I've travelled, so.... none? 65: Nike or Adidas? Nike? 66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos? Maybe? Never had 'em though. 67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? I like sunflower seeds, man. 68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Nah. 69: Ever take dance lessons? Yeah I did. A took various kinds of dance classes for like six years. Classic ballet, street, jazz, musical.. really fun! 70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Oh wow... man I don't even know what I picture myself doing. As long as they're happy with what they're doing, I don't care all that much. 71: Can you curl your tongue? Yeaaa 72: Ever won a spelling bee? Never been in one 73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? I cry quite easily, so yeah. 74: Own any record albums? I do, very many. Enjoy the feeling of actually having the album. 75: Own a record player? Not anymore :/ 76: Regularly burn incense? I used to, but then I got lazy. 77: Ever been in love? Am in love now. 78: Who would you like to see in concert? Would be cool to see Bastille or arctic monkeys, cause I haven't seen them. Other than that I've seen most of the ones I want to see live. 79: What was the last concert you saw? Uhh... I saw Hozier last February. But other than that the last concert I saw was probably with my friend's band, Royal Prospect. Check them out, they're great and also up and coming! 80: Hot tea or cold tea? Hot. But also cold. Both. 81: Tea or coffee? Tea. 82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? What in the hell is snickerdoodles? 83: Can you swim well? I can, yes. 84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes. Is that a thing? 85: Are you patient? I can be very patient, but also childishly impatient. 86: DJ or band, at a wedding? Band. Jazzy ish. 87: Ever won a contest? Won a quiz at school once. Won chocolate. Good one. 88: Ever have plastic surgery? Nope. 89: Which are better black or green olives? Black. 90: Can you knit or crochet? I actually knit half a beanie in school like five or six years ago, but I barely knew what I was doing then, and definitely don't now. 91: Best room for a fireplace? In the bedroom, by the bed. But not too close. Be safe, kids. 92: Do you want to get married? Yes, I'd like that. 93: If married, how long have you been married? Am not married. In a 3+ years relationship though. 94: Who was your HS crush? My current boyfriend. 95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Not really.. 96: Do you have kids? Nope. 97: Do you want kids? Yes I do. 98: Whats your favorite color? Deep, Slytherin green, sunset ish orange, or any shade of grey. 99: Do you miss anyone right now? My friend, who's been backpacking for like four months now, and is home in June or July. Also my other friend, who lives in Scotland, but moves home soooooon. Also my boyfriend, whom I met two days ago. I'm lame.

[irarelypostanything]

Harry Potter, the Poorly-Written Version - “Harry dates Cho”

February arrived.  The weather grew warmer.  Homework piled on, DA meetings persisted, and muggles started to fill Hermione’s Facebook wall with new stories of some disease called coronavirus.  

Ron, Hermione, and Harry had breakfast again.

“Listen, Harry,” said Hermione, “this is really important...do you think you could meet me in the Three Broomsticks around midday?”

“Well...I dunno,” said Harry dubiously, “Cho and I are going on a date.”

“Who?”

“That’s the girl Harry has been fantasizing about since last year,” said Ron.

“How did you know that?”

“You say your thoughts out loud sometimes,” said Ron, “it’s downright disturbing.”

“And usually you do it in the third person for some reason,” agreed Hermione.

Cho was waiting for Harry by the oak front doors, looking very pretty with her hair tied back in a long ponytail.  Harry’s feet seemed to be too big for his body as he walked toward her, and he was suddenly aware of how stupidly his arms swung.  

If I’m not mistaken, that sentence is the most detailed physical description you are ever going to get of her.

“Hi,” said Cho breathlessly.

“Sup,” said Harry.

The two stood in line for a paragraph, as Harry stole repeated glances at Ginny and the other Quidditch players.

“You really miss it, don’t you?” asked Cho.

“Yeah,” sighed Harry, “Ginny is really good at flying.”

“Remember the first time we played against each other, in our third year?” asked Cho.

“Yeah,” said Harry, grinning.  Actually, he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

“Wood told you not to be a gentleman and knock me off my broom if you had to,” said Cho, smiling reminiscently.

“Oh, now I remember!”  Wood.  That name always made him giggle.

The two talked about Quidditch for a while, until a bunch of Slytherin kids fked it up the same way they always did.

“Potter and Chang!” screeched a nondescript Slytherin girl whose name escaped Harry.  “Urgh, Chang, I don’t think much of your taste...at least Diggory was good-looking!”

“Yeah, well he’s dead!” said Harry.  It was meant to be a good comeback but wasn’t.  After they passed, Cho and Harry were silent for a while.  Cho, face flushed, was looking at her shoes.

“You know,” suggested Harry, “I could kill them, and no one would ever know I did it.”

“That’s kind of the problem, isn’t it?” asked Cho.

“What do you mean?”

“The psychological impact of being sorted into Slytherin.  I find it truly fascinating, from a social science standpoint.  There have been numerous peer-reviewed studies on the effects of this tribalistic system.”

“Wut?”

“In essence, you’re dividing people up not by self-sorting, but by detecting personality attributes.  The Slytherins are marked by psychopathic tendencies and cunning.  Obviously a system based upon this criteria is problematic.”

Harry was suddenly beginning to remember what talking to people in Ravenclaw was like.

The two proceeded to window shop, look at posters, make small talk, and all of that other boring stuff you’re obligated to do during a date instead of just cutting to the chase.  

“Wanna get coffee?” asked Cho.

“Okay,” said Harry, even though he would have preferred boba but thought suggesting it might come across as kind of racist.  “Where?”

“How about Madam Puddifoot’s?”

“Okay.”  Harry would have preferred Philz, or even Starbucks, but fine.

With nothing else to talk about, the two abused Delores Umbridge.  Harry had to cut it short, though - it occurred to him that her guards might be listening, and so much as speaking against her or the Ministry could result in intense interrogation and torture.

“Hey,” said Harry suddenly, “want to go to the Three Broomsticks?  I’m meeting Hermione there.”

Cho raised her eyebrows.  “You’re meeting Hermione there?  Today?”

“Yeah.  And she said she wouldn’t mind if you came, too.”

“That was...nice of her.”

“Mhm!”

A few minutes passed in silence.  Harry had no idea why.  Cho’s hand was on the table.  Harry tried to grab it, but then she took it off the table.  Next to them, Roger Davies or Davis or whatever his name was kissed a girlfriend.

“He asked me out, you know,” said Cho, “A couple of weeks ago.  But I turned him down.”

Harry wasn’t sure why she was telling him this.

“You’re probably not sure why I’m telling you this,” said Cho.

“Nah.”

“Cedric took me here last year.”

“Okay.”

“Did he mention me before he died?”

“Nope.”

She was crying.

“Can we talk about something else?” asked Harry.

“Yeah,” said Cho, “sure.”  She wiped the tears away from her eyes.  “I get like this sometimes.  I think about how the person I loved was killed right in front of me.  But then I kind of compartmentalize it, perhaps because I’m still only in the early stages of grief.  But then I think about something else and I’m usually okay.”

“Ah.”

“How are you holding up with your grief and all?”

“I’m okay.  I mean, I do talk about this stuff with Hermione and Ron.”

“Hermione!” said Cho, upset again, “of course!  You’ll talk to her, but not me.”

Harry didn’t know what to say.

“You probably think this is jealousy,” said Cho, having visibly regained her composure, “and don’t get me wrong, it is.  You’re meeting her immediately after this?  That kind of pisses me off, I read in the Daily Prophet you two dated last year.  But here’s the thing - I think Hermione is going insane.”

“What?”

“You don’t see it?  Witnessing the Death Eaters rise again is really putting her into crisis mode.  I can’t say I blame her, but I definitely think you should talk to her about it.  I even heard her practicing avada kedavra.”

“One does not simply practice avada kedavra,” said Harry defensively, “they’d detect it and arrest her.”

“Who told you that?  Umbridge?  They can’t detect it.  All you have to do is change your wand VPN.”

“What?”

“You’re saying ‘what’ a lot,” said Cho.  “Maybe try to calm yourself down, drink some coffee.  But you’d better not be late for your date, I mean meeting, with Hermione.  Good talk?”

“What?”

“Fuck it,” said Cho, standing, “I’m going to go next door and buy boba.”