#and paul is someone who brings everything she wants so she doesn't question. she loves him and everything is fine. everything's Fine.

[starberry-cupcake]

LAST CHAPTERS!!! I have to make another one for the extra story and all that but these are the LAST OFFICIAL CHAPTERS!!!

previously in ice cube barbie de la tumbita(1):

this happened

this is the general tag of all the collection of recaps

(1) Note: "tumbita" means "little tomb" or "little grave", there was an audio meme going around some years ago where a little girl told another little girl that santa was "en la tumbita" aka dead, which was why parents were the ones who actually bought the gifts

I'm bringing back the very niche cultural slang meme thing that I started the nona recaps with here at the end

also because that audio gives me 'nona and the kids' vibes

CHAPTER 30 (the tower!!! in tarot it means upheaval, disaster, sudden change, ESCÁNDALO)

nona aka ice cube barbie de la tumbita aka AL aka annabel lee wakes up and sees how the truck is swimming in grey stuff

THE RIVER BABY!!!

also, Annabel Lee pause, this quote from the poem, upon knowing what I know now, really hits

And neither the angels in Heaven above Nor the demons down under the sea Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

coronabeer is talking sweetly to judith

sorry, j o d y

coronabeer 👏 and 👏 judith 👏 sitting 👏 in 👏 a 👏 tree 👏

individually, I feel mid about them but, together, I'll defend them forever

nona looks at camolyctor paul atreides and says "I'll take it from here"

"hold my chewed half-eaten eraser"

ice cube barbie, who is still nona for now, keeps feeling like her body is not her own

which maybe has to do with the fact that it isn't her own

funny how that works

nona tells pyrrha and camolyctor paul not to ask her questions and not to "say things that aren't said like a question but are questions"

she says "take it away" and they decide to indulge her

since she's the one who seems to know what to do in this river surfing situation

she says that the water "doesn't want to touch them" while coronabeer asks judith to come back

nona also feels a lot of people crowding behind her

pyrrha asks "what the fuck is that" and gideon goes "Told you so"

and so the tower comes up from the water, like it did for harrow, last time we heard of her

nona is trying to stay as nona by grasping the "middle of the brain" thoughts that aren't "above" and "below"

the thoughts that know what the tower is

but if she looks at those, she's gonna stop being nona

judith starts talking in that not-judith way again and goes "He left them too long—You left them too long, my salt thing"

to which nona responds "You are here. Okay, good —the water really won't touch us."

at this point, we can do nothing but trust whatever she comes up with, so buckle up

nona has to reach the accelerator but, because harrowcita's body is smol, she's like

she's also kind of having a heart attack in harrowcita's body at the sight of the tower, so everything's f i n e

"The more she thought, the more problems she had"

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH

DON'T WE ALL

judith keeps repeating "the hole" which is kinda funny

everyone either collapses or is losing it, except for nona, who continues on

because someone has to

they are sucked into the current and a crack appears in the glass like in jurassic park 2

camolyctor paul comes in and asks nona if she can get them to the ninth

I don't know how I feel about camolyctor paul atreides yet

they don't feel camilla enough for me idk I'm feeling abandoned again, but this time I don't think I'll get my love back

unless camolyctor paul pulls a vegetto and unfuses inside the stomach of some entity

but that's highly unlikely

so I'm unwell

I know there was no other way around this and camilla wouldn't have survived anyway but I'm not handling this well you folks

I WOULDN'T PULL A RESSURRECTION FOR HER JUST BECAUSE AND RUIN THE UNIVERSE THOUGH

RIP DR REV EMPEROR JOHN BUT I'M DIFFERENT

this book series is about learning to let go huh

it's about necromancers who, for all intents and purposes, thrive in bringing back dead things but, in some clever irony, is about actually letting go, not bringing back

every book you start, you have to let go of what you were used to in the previous one

you have to let go of characters you grew to care about

of povs you got used to

of things you thought you finally understood

you have to let go of preconceptions of characters who end up showing more than you thought they would

and all this mess started because one man wants the power of never having to let go of what he wants to keep to himself

even if it isn't something for him to have in the first place

*colors of the wind from pocahontas starts playing in the background*

ANYWAY

NO PHILOSPHY IN THE MIDDLE OF A LONG RECAP

BAD LULY

uber driver nona says she can get them to the ninth but she's tired and doesn't want to let go of nona, she knows that this is what's gonna come down to

AGAIN WITH THE LETTING GO

THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING

nona doesn't want to let people go or let herself go

even if judith is "gone, forever probably" and gideon is "used to" being dead

nona is considering letting it all go then and there and dying with the body she's using

but then camolyctor paul atreides reminds her that noodle is in the back

and BY GOD we're not letting noodle die

middle nona thoughts are brought to the forefront by the presence of noodle

and nona "drove the truck home"

CHAPTER 31 (NINTH SKULL BAYBEY!!!!!)

nona's chakra thoughts align and she wants something

they all find out they're alive and well and gideon rises

nona has lost the ability to move and doesn't quite remember how she was able to do what she did

pyrrha proceeds to carry her around again

like the 0 years baby she actually is

and gideon goes "Home, sweet home"

WE'RE BACK!!!

WE'RE BACK WHERE IT ALL BEGUN

camolyctor paul atreides asks gideon where they are and congratulates nona for her parking precision

pyrrha wants to ask what that was in the river, since it wasn't an RB

but gideon hears something nobody else can hear and decides to just go on her own

so that leaves camolyctor paul and a pyrrha carrying nona to chase after her

nona asks about tsundere pash but she has to stay with angel teacher, who got scrambled around in the landing

don't know what good would tsundere pash do in this situation and I think she wouldn't even want to be there if asked, but nona has a crush or whatever this is

how tsundere pash managed to attract the earth personification or whatever, idk, but I also know nothing about attracting anyone, so who am I to doubt game

nobody can see shit and pyrrha says anastasia should have added skull-shaped fairy lights to the ninth

how many of you lovely freaks went and bought them

nona sees the light, but a literal one for now, because they find a tunnel with light inside it

they find gideon in there

gideon: found, sword: drawn, blood: on it, bodies: scattered

in moments like this, I miss camilla

nona then sees a man that looks old as sin

at this point, I had forgotten crux's name ngl

he didn't matter enough to me to give him a nickname and I just forgot his name and also maybe that he existed

camolyctor paul atreides wants to help him but he doesn't want to be helped

also, there are weird corpses that gideon tells them to look at

weird as in body horror territory again

as in some magnus archives level bs

nona keeps pointing out how different camolyctor paul is to both camilla and palmolive, which makes me sad

and they say they find it all interesting

which is very spock of them, palmolive would approve of that

gideon says that "he said they'd only be on Antioch"

camolyctor paul asks gideon where they've seen that before and gideon says in duracell bunny nephew

remember duracell bunny nephew? I was thinking about him the other day, actually

he's a character I wish I had known more about, poor kid

anyway, duracell bunny nephew had his soul detached too far from his body and Other Stuff took over, so I guess that's kind of what this is

gideon is very shocked and upset at the fact that they're there because dr reverend emperor john said they couldn't travel

I'm holding gideon's face in my hands, putting my forehead against hers and asking her patiently in which universe does she think she can believe a word that man says

gideon says that the entities use revenant magic and that they're waiting for crux to kick the bucket to use him as well, so they'll eventually get to him anyway

if they're waiting for crux to die, they can join the congregation of people who've been waiting, with gideon at the front of it

crux has time and energy to be rude af to everyone around him, especially gideon

nona interrupts the family reunion to announce that there's more of these guys coming soon, so they have to grab crux and move on

gideon is about to stay around and throw hands with a bunch of revenants but pyrrha tells her that "any kid in the Cohort knows the mission comes first"

since when is gideon's priority the Cohort, I asked myself at this point, but anyway

nona sees a figure with dark robes and a pale face swaying in the archway, which doesn't look good

nona starts the description of something that took me a minute to understand was an elevator

gideon asks crux, who had been promoted to seneschal before they left for canaan house, where aiglamene is

remember aiglamene? I liked her

crux tells her she's dead and gideon would have had a heart attack if that would still affect her body

but nona tells her he's lying

what's the point in lying if we're going where the remaining ninth is, you dramatic old bastard????

they ask crux how long the thingies have been in town and he says he has to answer because they're holding "the Reverend Daughter"

which, they technically aren't, but anyway

says they've been there for about a day

they're looking for the youngest of them, which gideon thinks is tough luck for them

they use bodies but don't seem to be interested in bones

BAD HOUSE TO GO TO IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT BONES

camolyctor paul is still trying to fix it but gideon says that, since it's "spirit shit" (technical term) the only thing you can do, if you're really good, is ward people so that they aren't taken

I am assuming this is a River imbalance that's going on over here, things are Happening in the River

gideon is about to say "how bad are we" but corrects to "you" in the last second, in another way to attempt to cover up the fact that she cares deeply and isn't fooling anyone

catching the tsundere-itis from tsundere pash

it's a family thing, commander wake sounds like she was very tsundere as well

pyrrha says she was there before it was known as the Anastasian and that she "painted a nursery mint green" which ????????

forgot people were born in the ninth at some point

without baby blending required

gideon makes an ass joke and nona laughs, which makes crux suspicious

pyrrha thinks nona isn't doing that badly if she's laughing at ass jokes

nona is actually falling apart, but doesn't want to bring down the mood of the operation

also, her arm gets scratched with pyrrha's zipper

they end up in a corridor with a bone gate and gideon asks for aiglamene

aiglamene arrives and nona compares her to what she thinks sriracha girlie will look like if she grows older

I can see the vision, actually

aiglamene passes a pike to sister berta, who nona says might be honesty's age, and I am reminded there were supposed to be new people in the ninth, according to dr reverend emperor john in book 2

I can't keep up with everything, so much happens at all times

aiglamene says they welcome back the reverend daughter and it's like that scene in mulan

gideon then reveals that she's very much not alive and goes "You always said I'd come back in a box"

:'(

so aiglamene goes all feral with nona, believing her to be harrowcita

which is a nice change of pace, I missed people getting angry on gideon's behalf

but gideon tells her that it isn't harrowcita in there, it's just her body

and what's left of it, because it's getting complicated to keep it alive

pyrrha starts flirting with aiglamene

(pyrrha has a type for women in command who get angry quickly)

and she calls her a "brandishment baby", which I felt like a generational name

the ninth also seems to not be in good terms with what the emperor might want and aiglamene says last time they dealt with that was thirty years before

nona is laid on the ground next to a heater to warm up a bit and someone kisses her shoe, which she thinks is very unhygienic, to the point that not even kevin would do it

we love kevin

last "we love kevin" of the nona recaps :'(

pyrrha asks what happened to her arm and nona tells her about the zipper

nona realizes that's her first wound and everyone realizes they need to keep it moving

crux calls her "harrowhark" and nona tells him she's not her

he asks her who she is, then, which is something nona is trying very hard not to think about

"There's a box and...and there's someone in that box who isn't me. I'm me. I don't know who's in that box, not really, only—when you open it—I'll be gone, because I can't survive...knowing. And I think—inside that box—there's something that looks like a girl"

I talked about this back in chapter 11!!!!!

I'm considering doing a Top 10 Best Recap Moments, this one might have to go in there if I do it

camolyctor paul is calling nona's imminent collapse "interesting" and pyrrha says their bedside manner is shit

nona says that the more she goes back, the less harrow resists because she wasn't made for it, she isn't "the right shape"

she also tells them that, when she's back, she won't help them and she'll be different, because knowing makes her not be nona and she won't be able to love anymore

pyrrha says that she was loved and liked by a lot of people and goes "what's like except a love that hasn't been invited indoors?" because the time to make sentimental speeches is here

she went "Gideon liked you" and I was like "no, she doesn't" and then remembered she was talking about og!gideon lmao

pyrrha also tells her she had bought her a birthday present she didn't get to give her

it was a tshirt that advertised "cheap moustache rides"

I had never heard that euphemism before, but now I know

camolyctor paul says palmolive and camilla wouldn't have let her wear it but they think "moustache rides should be free"

I don't know what to do with that information, so let's continue

nona says she's gonna make herself remember and promises to use the tshirt and that, then, they'll know it's her

I'd love to see THAT

she's about to not be in a cumple anymore, and we're all gonna be worse for it

CHAPTER 32 (TOMB TIME!!! LA TUMBITA!!!!)

nona can't see in the darkness but recognizes gideon's voice

the doors she's opened

in more ways the one

crux says nobody should be going in there but the Daughter and her cavalier

and gideon says "The Reverend Daughter has no cavalier living"

:'(

suddenly there's light and they feel a weird noise at their feet

nona thinks she sees coronabeer but nope

she describes yandere twin as a "washed out coronabeer"

coronabeer with the desaturation on

yandere twin starts talking in that way in which she says stuff, that tries to seem she's unbothered and everything is beneath her but she actually cares a great deal about it

she reminds me of those youtubers who think that acting like they don't care and making a show of having to drink wine in order to get through what they're talking about will make us overlook the fact that they made a 1 hour video about the topic in question, which means they do care a great deal, and acting in a "non-fangirl way" won't make them seem "more credible"

we're all nerds and losers, it's fine to care

it's ok to care, yandere twin

ANYWAY

she calls camolyctor paul "hectus", which is very uninspired, in my humble opinion of a nickname expert

btw the stuff they're standing on is "Adipose fat and mucous membrane" which I imagine kind of like the grease that collects from the grill after an asado

yandere twin is finally introduced to pyrrha and asks her whether what happened to her and og!gideon normally happens

she's relieved to hear it isn't, because probably she doesn't want chad to be using her body, even if she got to use his

pyrrha tells gideon not to do anything stupid, to which gideon replies that she's too late for that

also, yandere twin isn't drinking wine like the youtubers I mentioned, but is smoking, which serves the same purpose

gideon tells her that coronabeer is outside and she didn't have to use her charm to get her there

yandere twin calls her sister an "ill-shampooed slut"

which is A Lot

and then nona realizes gideon and yandere twin are wearing "friendship bracelets"

yandere twin pulls gideon outside the pool of goo and they do a friendship handshake

my brain is short circuiting a bit at this because last time I heard of them, they were at each other's throats

so ?????????????????????????????

camolyctor paul reminds them that harrowcita's body is on a time limit

yandere twin says harrowcita would want to die rather than open the tomb, as if she hadn't opened it already once

she asks for gideon's opinion but gideon suddenly can't read

they keep acting like besties, which's got everyone and me shocked and weirded at

they're super friendly until gideon goes like "anywayyyy gotta open the tomb, though"

yandere twin does not like that idea

she calls gideon a "three way double crosser" which is one level lower than pyrrha's quadruple crossing record

gideon is saying a bunch of stupid ass stuff

that dr reverend emperor john doesn't care if they kill ice cube barbie, that she'll be his cavalier

yandere twin also thinks all of that is bs and she can't really believe that

idk if this is actually about that or about harrow, honestly

gideon says dr reverend emperor john is very depressed and yandere twin starts talking about who he's sleeping with, which I don't care to know

gideon also doesn't want to hear it, but she's ageist about it because he's allegedly sleeping with a sixty year old guy

that's the least of anyone's concerns

yandere twin is the one making more sense, which scares me tbh, and says she doesn't know what he'll become with ice cube barbie and asks what I'm also wondering: "Is this about Harry, after all?"

gideon gets all defensive without answering the question and tells yandere twin to leave with coronabeer and stop bothering her

gideon insists on dr reverend emperor john wanting to kill ice cube barbie and yandere twin slaps her

yandere twin says he loves ice cube barbie and needs her and without her he's nothing and they need to keep him that way

which again makes me feel like I've lost part of the narrative while looking through nona's perspective

and, at that, nona starts losing her nona-ness

she begins to fall apart, exploding from the inside out, and both yandere twin and gideon run to her

someone says "Keep it together. Wherever you are, idiot, I know you can hear me. Keep it together"

I thought that was gideon talking to harrow, but I'm not sure

camolyctor paul tells pyrrha to "go" and pyrrha shoots yandere twin with a magic bullet

a magic bullet which isn't the blender they made harrow in, another magic bullet

pyrrha says she was saving the bullet for dr reverend emperor john, which would have been a much better use for it, but anyway

gideon and pyrrha carry nona while camolyctor paul instructs to "open the door"

nona, who starts talking more like ice cube barbie, refers to harrowcita as "the baby", which is funny but also accurate since she was The Baby, you know, the Ninth Blender Baby

she starts remembering when she was there before, with dr reverend emperor john, who took her there saying he wanted to show her something

I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HIM TO HAVE GOTTEN INSPIRATION FROM IT, TBH

the corridor has things that were disabled and others that are yet to be disabled, but pyrrha says they need fresh thanergy for it

gideon says they should kill her but, since she's already dead, it won't work

pyrrha goes all mushy for wake again and says they should kill her, that if wake had asked her she would have died with her for this

pyrrha always gets very emotional in stressful moments

meanwhile, ice cube barbie no longer nona keeps remembering that she was dr reverend emperor john's cavalier and that she loved him and he loved her because he loved "the world"

idk about that tbh but ok

ice cube barbie no longer nona says she hadn't come on purpose, she was brought by harrow, the kiss and the tear

lots of fairy tale kissing in this book series

crux says they should kill him instead

everyone wants to die suddenly

except for nona, which is ironic

gideon goes "Die for her...it's the only goddamn good you'll ever do her"

aiglamene and camolyctor paul keep insisting if crux is sure and gideon is like "can we kill him already?"

not with those words, but she's like metaphorically pointing at her watch like judge judy

ice cube barbie no longer nona keeps remembering how johnny boy cask of amontillado-ed her and she asked where was anastasia while he was doing it

crux and gideon keep arguing and gideon starts reading her pedigree receipts

she says "I want you to know who I am!" and crux goes "You died as you lived, Gideon Nav—a disappointment to me—and to God"

idk if he was being an asshole on purpose so she'd kill him already or if he just wanted to be a nasty bastard until the very end

also, I don't know if gideon really believes all this, because we haven't seen her perspective in this book, but it'd be sad if she does

I mean, I get it, she lived without an identity and being naruto-ed in the ninth for it, and suddenly she's princess amelia mignonette thermopolis renaldi

but it'd be very sad if she thinks that what makes her worthy is who she was born as or who her father is and not who she actually is

we love you for you, gideon sweetie

more so in spite of your dad than because of him, actually

you're worthy just for existing and you've done good and brave things just being you, before you knew of your background

don't fall for the emperor propaganda

gideon kills him but feels terrible still, because there are a lot of issues to unpack that killing a dreadful old man can't fix

ice cube barbie no longer nona keeps remembering and there are beetles in her memory, as well as a pool of salt water from which she drank

ice cube barbie no longer nona steps into the cold water, with harrow's heart freezing, as she remembers doing the same back then, when she first came into la tumbita

she hears yandere twin coming closer as she sees herself lying there

WHICH I CALLED???? BACK IN CHAPTER 11???

YAY ME

she says dr reverend emperor john made her ugly, which is slander to one of my favorite barbies ever

but anyway, celebratory screencap of the reason I called her ice cube barbie this whole time

she hears someone shout "No" from the shore, which I think is probably yandere twin

and she says she sees anastasia's body, all bones, ready to close the door whenever it was opened

wasn't anastasia the one who "never made it" into the bolthole? whose room was empty? who had "figured out" the lyctor thing? whose cav was killed by the emperor?

did she die there guarding the door or...?

I'm sure you'll correct me in the replies

unless it's a spoiler for the story or the stuff I have yet to read

nona, who is now more ice cube barbie than nona, says her last nona thing and goes "well happy birthday to me, I guess" and head dives into ice cube barbie body

EPILOGUE (first house skull means trouble every time)

ice cube barbie proceeds to break her chains

now here it all turned into shakespeare all of a sudden so I had to go over this a couple times

and the descriptions of the people are like "child 1" "child 2", so

be patient with me here

these books make me feel very dumb very often

yandere twin comes in for the kill but harrow stops her and says that, if she tries to kill ice cube barbie, their vow will be nullified and she'll kill her

yandere twin tells her she doesn't know what she's doing and harrow says "Not lately, but now"

yandere twin says she's half dead to which harrow replies "I am as one half-dead, but you would be two-halves dead, bitch"

I feel like I'm having a stroke

I feel like they're not really talking like shakespeare in the park, that's how ice cube barbie hears it, but idk at this point

yandere twin goes into her mocking flirty kinky territory and says "I only die of longing for thee"

and harrow goes "Then perish"

ice cube barbie then gets up and smacks yandere twin across the tomb

skeletons start coming up but when ice cube barbie lifts the sword, they all go like "better not"

now we're stating to call ice cube barbie "alecto", which I'm not gonna do, because that nickname was signaled upon me by apollo himself

and, now that I think about it, if this book was gonna be part 1 of alecto and then author got carried away, makes sense that it's the same bitch

anyway, pyrrha calls to ice cube barbie and she goes "he has never appeased me, and now all he has done was teach me how to die"

ice cube barbie remembers "the vow" and turns to harrowcita

she raises her sword, but then remembers her from her dreams and doesn't strike her

harrowcita tells her she's loved her all her life and that she can kill her if she wants

which would make this a very very bad day for gideon

ice cube barbie is angry but lifts her up and kisses her and draws blood, because she can't be not feral about anything

ice cube barbie is confused of why harrow isn't appeased by this because that's "how meat loves meat"

gotta teach this earth entity about different kinds of love

through harrow's blood, ice cube barbie understands what she is

at this point I went "a blender baby?"

but she says she's "the blood of the tomb keeper"

so then I got that she meant anastasia lol

ice cube barbie apologises for dr reverend emperor john killing anastasia's cav

testing my memory, these people, had to double check who samael was

she swears to harrowcita the way she swore to anastasia and says "I am in your service until you bid me the favour, and whatsoever you appoint I shall perform, and consider the vow rendered. This is what I promised, until such a time as you deal with me as you see fit"

what was going on between ice cube barbie and anastasia????

harrow thinks she's not worthy of the vow

but ice cube barbie kneels, offers the sword and cuts harrowcita's hand so her blood is on the sword and goes "Notwithstanding, I offer you my service"

and then gideon, very angrily, shouts from the shore "Get in line, thou big slut"

we love gideon

there's a time skip then and ice cube barbie ends up in dr reverend emperor john's ship

she says she still finds the river dead

dr reverend emperor john is butt naked, drunk and looking a mess

ice cube barbie seems to be carrying an unconscious harrow around in one arm

which means we keep separating gideon and harrow and this is the slowest burn ever

I don't even know if they're endgame, at this point

that tagline I really have issues with, the one about the "lesbian necromancers in space", made me expect something entirely different by this point in time

ANYWAY

ice cube barbie is carrying the sword in her other hand

she uses it to stab dr reverend emperor john in the heart

but that just wakes him up and he says "Annabel, good morning"

I reached my quota of images per post for the second time in the recaps lifespan

BUT THAT'S IT!!!! Next time, I'll have the story and the other extra stuff that's at the end of the book and we'll see what we do next!

Some of you have said you'd be interested in me doing Alecto when it comes out, even if you'll be busy with more important fandom input than these silly recaps at that time, others have been interested in me potentially doing this with Murderbot, but before any of that, I'm thinking of doing a couple extras of some stuff, like a top 10 Best Recap Moments, maybe with the best things I predicted or something, you guys can cast votes if you want!! Until next time!!! ♥

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Thinking about Book Chani. I love what Denis did with her character, I do. But I've been wondering how a version of her might have been adapted that still follows her original storyline more or less while *also* giving her some richer and more interesting character development. There's a lot you could do with her book counterpart that would be both interesting and hm. possibly even more tragic.

Think about it. You're fifteen. Your people live underground - literally and figuratively - waiting for a saviour that may never come. Your father is revered by them, and by you. He talks about a beautiful future, and you believe him. You believe the legends, because what else is there to believe? You look out into the desert and see the oceans he's told you about, that his father told him about.

You're spirited and playful and a touch hotheaded and yes, a bit naive, but you're full of hope.

And then your father dies. Your hope almost goes with him. Your uncle takes you in, protects you. His wife mourns with you, lets you weep in secret for the first time in your life. A stranger, a foreigner fleeing the same powers trying to break your people's spirit arrives and everyone believes him to be the saviour out of legend. He can't be - but maybe he is? He's strange and melancholy and you don't fully understand him, but there's something innocent about him and his own father has just died, and you comfort each other.

Something's not quite right. There's something eerie behind all his naivety, behind the sweetness that comes out when he's with you, but you can't put your finger on it. But it doesn't matter, does it? It doesn't matter that his mother doesn't like you. It doesn't matter that they speak to each other in a language of looks when they think you can't see, that sometimes he looks at you with an elder's wisdom when he shouldn't.

It doesn't matter that there are things he doesn't tell you. You're young, and you're in love.

Your people take him in, give him a new name and whisper that he will one day lead them. His mother goes through a ritual that should kill her. She lives. They all say this makes him that saviour you'd almost lost hope for. When he's with you, he's nothing special. Maybe he is the messiah, but he's more than that. He's strange, but he's gentle with you. You want to protect him, not worship him.

His mother has a baby, the child everyone avoids. You try to befriend her, but she frightens you too. There's a moment when all three of them frighten you, when you realize how connected they are - that you will never be so connected.

He rises through the ranks, earning respect. He teaches you to fight in his own way, and you teach him yours. It's the first time you see that he can be strong, that he too can do damage. He's changing, before your eyes from an innocent boy to a solemn man. Now he's the one protecting you. That's all right. He's still vulnerable with you when you're alone. Sometimes.

He talks of freedom, of paradise, of a beautiful future. Takes the words your father used to spin as tales to get you to sleep at night, and speaks them to enraptured crowds. You look for your father's ghost in the stars at night, hoping he sees. This is good. This is right. You see him leading your people, with you at his side. You love your world - what your world can become - and you love him. You're sixteen. You're in love.

Plans get made, some of which you're part of. He doesn't want you in danger, you understand. He grows distant. Cold. You can still make him smile, though.

You get pregnant. You have a son. He plays with the strange sister, and you reluctantly let him. His father is gone for days at a time (and sometimes so are you, but there's a war being fought). You thought you knew what motherhood meant, but you didn't, and now you have a son and it frightens you. If anyone asks, you are overjoyed. His father gave the child the name of his father, but at night you whisper into his infant ear another name, a secret.

And then one day the summons come. He's done it, the ritual no man survives. Confused, angry, more afraid than you've ever been in your life, you revive him. It had to be you, his mother says. You don't understand. There's always something they know, something they aren't telling.

That doesn't change the fact that when he awakens, at your doing, you feel a drop of pride mixed in with relief (with the desire to kill him all over again). He is the saviour. He is the messiah. But you brought him back from death.

Will anyone remember that?

He rises a different man. You search for what you remember, and find only fragments. You love him anyway, because you swore to. For the first time you're in awe of him too, and you hate that, because you're supposed to be the one he's allowed to be normal with. But you can't help it.

For the first time, when he raises his voice to a crowd, you can understand why his enemies fear him. And that it's not only them he's capable of hurting if he wants.

He fights more. He leads more. You follow. You don't know what else to do, what option do you have? They call you sacred too now, and your child. He's a god to them, but to you he's still just a man and you only ever wanted to love him.

Your enemies arrive. He isn't there. There's an attack, and your son is killed, and you thought your father's death was the worst thing you'd ever felt but now you can no longer think from grief. Everything feels miles away, on some other world you can barely touch. You're not you anymore. Is this how he feels, all the time?

People lead, and you follow. You can't think. You can't feel.

You watch him take the throne. It's not real, what he is now. You tell him about your son, and he doesn't seem to care. He loves you, doesn't he? He marries another woman, but it will be you he loves, at her expense. He promises.

"You will never leave my side again," he tells you. It's a promise. It's a threat.

No one knows what to do. He's now the most powerful man in the universe, and there's talk of war and you just want to go home. You're eighteen and you're a grieving mother. You don't cry. His mother tells you you will be powerful too, and you cling to that. It's the only thing to cling to.

His orders start going through. Your people fight and die for him. Thousands die, on both sides. The number gets higher and higher. It doesn't matter, right? You're safe, at his side, in luxury you'd never imagined. He will make your world a paradise. He promised.

He avoids you at first. But you're patient, and eventually he visits you. More and more often. He loves you, he says. He can demand and intimidate and order, but not to you. Never you. He loves you.

He doesn't love his wife. Years go by, and you hardly see her. Hardly speak to her. You forget about the war, because what's the point in thinking about it? You miss your son. You miss your father. Your uncle is away on another planet, fighting men you will never see.

Years go by. The death toll rises. You don't watch.

You want another child, and at first he refuses. You ask again. He agrees to try, but doesn't meet your eyes. There are plots he doesn't tell you about, dangers he's not voicing, you know it. He still loves you more than anyone else. He becomes a man again, with you, and you live in your own hidden away box together, separate from the rest of the world. Everything is okay. You love each other.

Sometimes he lets you leave the palace, under strict guard. You long for the desert. He says it isn't safe. You want a child, and he's afraid to give you one. He talks of that green future, but it hasn't come. You want to help, to bring the water back, but there's always something else to do first, something more important.

You overhear things. You hear him fighting with his wife. You hear accounts of the things his soldiers have done on other worlds. They can't be true, the rumours. But you've seen him lead armies. You know what he's capable of.

It doesn't matter. He loves you. He protects you.

It doesn't matter that your own people are dissatisfied. That veterans return from his war scarred and disheartened. That they claim he's no better than the men he displaced, just another evil who commands them. It's not true. It's the only thing that can be true.

Your uncle returns and you don't recognize him. He talks to you in your own language, tells you of water as far as the eye can see. Worlds that are green, or blue, or white.

You look out over the desert at night, searching for your father's memory. For the first time you don't want a world the colour of mourning. You miss the desert. You miss living underground, with your father, when all these great and terrible things were only dreams.

And then assassins come. You hear about the attempts. He's left blinded, disfigured, scarred. It's the ritual all over again - he is a different man now, melancholy and angry and it's your job to bring him back. But this time you can't. You try, and he tells you he loves you again and again, but something has changed. You shouldn't care. Nothing can make you stop loving him. Nothing should.

You hear the truth. His wife has been poisoning you. You aren't a mother yet because of her. You rage and weep with no care about wasting water. You've done nothing to her, nothing to deserve this.

You beg him to tell you if he knew. You don't need to - he tells you. All this time. You ask why, and get no clear answer. But it doesn't matter, does it? You've conceived now. You'll get what you want, finally. He's known about the drugs, his people - your people - hate him for what he's done and they call you a traitor, he tells you he's done all this for you, for your safety, that he loves you. So it doesn't matter. He loves you, you're going to have his baby. It will be all right, you can forget again and be happy with him. He loves you. Nothing else matters.

Does it?

[baked-potatoes-rule]

Thank you for the tag @nataliescatorccioapologist 🩵✨ I low-key want to share theories and geek out on music with you 😭

I love this!!! You always make the best YJ games! Okay let's see;

1. I'm so torn on this one! With everything we have seen so far, I'm going with Supernatural. Although Shauna telling Lottie it had always been them has been making me doubt it, there are still many things pointing towards external forces. The Laura Lee scene with Leonard catching fire..Literally no explanation for this. I also entertain the possibility of us never finding out and the writers leaving is off with a vague answer..and I really hope that's not the case because many of us will forever lose their sleep.

2. Teen timeline? Shauna. (Although I started with Natalie so they are pretty much both up there first.) In the adult timeline was Nat but they took her from us 🥲. (Adult Taissa is absolutely hilarious and I can't wait to see Tawny bring her back to life for S3.)

3. The YJ singing Seal's Kiss from a rose during Doomcoming and an episode later it plays during the reunion while Shauna and Jeff dance and Jackie's picture is seen between them. Makes me physically sick every time (not in a bad way but it's just too much).

4. Jackieshauna shipper..They had me at episode one and I felt so betrayed when Shauna kissed Jeff and proceeded to hook up with him, again. Taivan is my second favourite! Hope they make it work (yes I know it's YJ but let me hope!)

5. I want the Antler queen to be Shauna. Only so I can finally see her get picked for once? And because I think she's going to suck at it. I know she's my sad little meow meow but she needs to understand she's good enough even if she's not at the forefront. Am I contradicting myself? No such thing 😲

6. Doomcoming is hands down my favourite. Everything about this episode makes me feel uneasy and nostalgic. I feel like during Doomcoming, the Yellowjackets officially welcome themselves into the wilderness. It is their first formal event as they are beginning to accept their fate and adapt. And is once again Jackie who gives the idea...her last word as a Captain that shall be heard. They follow her lead, one last time and then their descent away from civilization and into their primal origins as human beings who need to survive, begins. The Travnat scenes during it are angsty but cute at the same time.Shauna and Jackie walk in together...It's their last time. Perhaps an alternative prom they would have walked in with someone else beside them...but be it in NJ, or the wilderness, their relationship is doomed anyhow.

7. Favourite scene? Lottie singing and the YJ join her as they all pair up for the dance during Doomcoming.

8. We finally get to see who fucking pit girl is, and it's Mari.

9. Shauna and Nat. Listen...✋🏻 I know I need to pick one but (OP your games are tearing me apart and I'm not even complaining🥰) Shauna has her moon in Scorpio. We're not bad people. We're just emotional. Maybe a little "too" emotional but that's only because we bottle things up for way too long. And I also have the occasional anger management blow up so, there's that. Unlike Shauna, however my anger is mostly internally directed and battling with alcohol abuse has me closer to Nat when it comes to how I end up processing things.

10. Umm...I wouldn't say it is crazy, but when I have Paul Simon's "50 Ways to leave your lover" in my gig set list, I switch the lyrics to "50 Ways to freeze your lover" and while I know the audience probably doesn't notice or thinks it doesn't make sense, but it's my little "Do it for the meme" moment 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bonus question answer

11. I like Shauna and Jeff together. I think he is the perfect pick, taking how things went down. He's her number one fan and supporter. Sure he did the blackmail thing but he did it for her and Callie. Yes I'd rather see Shauna with another woman. Preferably Jackie but we lost that one 🫡. I just don't see Shauna with any other guy other than him. Also he is an absolute goofball! 🙆🏼 "There's no book club?"

No pressure tag : @hellhouse-of-horrors @jackiesnats @kings-paintbrush @rotating-hyperfixations @yello-123 @shadowhaert @deeply-embarrassing @f4ggydog @jackiefruitfreezedried @kangarooqueen @whodoesnataliehave @cassioo @vanpalmerenthusiast @bandydear @max-is-really-okay

Starting a Yellowjackets tag!

I want to get my mind off of things so: If you want, answer any or all of the questions below and tag 10 people (or however many you want) who also might want to share! I would love to see what you guys have to say!

1. Are you team Rational or Supernatural?

2. Who is your favorite teen timeline character? Favorite adult timeline character?

3. What is your favorite needledrop?

4. What is your favorite ship?

5. What is your favorite episode?

6. Who do you want the Antler Queen to be?

7. What is your favorite scene in the entire series?

8. A theory or prediction you have about Season 3?

9. Which character do you relate to the most, and why?

10. What is the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of Yellowjackets?

Bonus:

11. What’s your most controversial Yellowjackets take?

—

Here’s mine!

1. I am mostly Team Rational because I love the way this show depicts trauma but I also love seeing the supernatural side of things through the survivors’ eyes if that makes sense.

2. Natalie in the teen timeline because I love her compassion and softness underneath the front she puts on. Lottie in the adult timeline because I love her internal battle with herself and how afraid she is of her own mind. Misty is a close second in the adult timeline!

3. “Cornflake Girl” playing while Nat sees the mossy tree for the first time, Callie seeing the Adam Martin driver’s license in the barbecue, and Shauna eating Jackie’s ear. It just goes so perfectly with everything that’s going on (especially the elevated piano while Nat and Travis are scaling the mountain and the lyrics while Shauna takes the bite!)

4. LottieNat is my favorite ship I can’t help it Nat and Lottie are my favorite characters so having them together is a dream (TaiVan, JackieShauna, and TravNat are up there, too).

5. 1x09 “Doomcoming” is just amazing and captures everything I love about Yellowjackets. I love when they let the girls go batshit crazy, hoping we get more Doomcoming vibes in S3.

6. I want the Antler Queen to be Natalie because that would show a true descent for her in the Wilderness from being the most morally grounded one to the leader of the group at their most unhinged and primal. But honestly I think that Shauna might be the AQ after all…

7. I think the Jackie-eating scene is the best in the entire show. The “Climbing Up the Walls” song choice, the bacchanal feast flashes as a way of coping with the horror of what they’re doing, seeing them go fully feral for the first time, it’s such a well crafted scene.

8. I know this probably won’t happen but I’m just going to throw it out there that Cabin Daughter is alive and she will be revealed to have been Javi’s “friend”!

9. I relate to Shauna the most because I also admittedly have a bit of an obsessive/intense personality and I, too, internalize my emotions to a very unhealthy degree sometimes. I also grew up being in love with my childhood best friend who is very, very much like Jackie (and now we have been dating for 7 years!)

10. Mine is a mix of going to a Yellowjackets panel and sitting like 5 feet from the showrunners, doing everything in my power to score early screening tickets to Heretic and Companion, and pretending I was sick so I could go home early from work the day that the S3 trailer came out.

11. The male characters on this show get too much hate🫢 I like Travis, Jeff, Kevyn, and Walter (even though his introduction and storyline are rushed and forced). I don’t like them more than the female characters, but I like them nevertheless and appreciate their contributions to the plot.

No pressure tags! (I’m tagging 15 bc I feel like it) @before-it-felt-like-a-sin @baked-potatoes-rule @jackiesnats @deerest-deer @whodoesnataliehave @stilllsage @fairytwles @glitterfairy-21225 @lesbianforlottie @tr4vnat @lauraleetaylor @cassioo @natsboygirlfriend @soapyjackets @pinkkkkat @natgf123 +literally anyone else who wants to!

[pebblewritesj]

being the beatles's favorite stylist? loved the queen one!

- You’re the cause for a good bit of the chaos that ensues with them throughout the day.

- They don’t give excuses as to why you’re the one they need to see, other than John.

- John’s excuses are always shit anyway though.

- “My hair’s just not right.” “Yeah John, none of our hair’s right. That’s why we have stylists.” “Well it’s a different kind of not right than the rest of ya’s.”

- Fixing their hair is always pretty easy since they all pretty much have the same style, but you don’t tell them that because Paul and John start complaining and asking if you’re calling them ‘low maintenance’.

- They used to fight over who would get you every day until one day George had an epiphany (the same epiphany that Ringo had been suggesting for a while).

- “Listen George, I’ve gotta look good-” “Why don’t we just take fucking turns!” “…That is a pretty good idea, yeah.” “I’ve been suggesting that for weeks now—” “We’ll take turns then.” “…Right, I’m going today then, problem sol—” “Paul.”

- They get questioned about you a good bit in interviews, since you’re one of their good friends and everything.

- "You've been recently seen bringing someone into your building," "Oh, that's some weirdo my father's been paying me to hang out with. They do cook pretty well though, so I don't have many complaints."

- They've only given a straight-up answer to who you are maybe twice or so.

- You had to do a double take when John mentioned he was growing his hair out for the first time.

- You'd been doing the same haircuts for about three years by that time, so you were very excited for the upcoming change.

- Well, until he finally grew it out and didn't wash it right.

- Honestly you doubted he washed it at all, but he was persistent about being a 'very hygienic man'.

- You love to do their makeup just for fun when you all get bored.

- Ringo's the easiest to do, he quite enjoys when you do his.

- “If you poke my eye with that brush I won’t like you very much.” “Yeah, I’ll make sure to keep the blush away from your eyes Ringo.”

- The rest of them tend to ask loads of questions throughout the entire process, but they all manage to do so in slightly different ways.

- George asks questions because he actually wants to know what the things you're using are called, that way he won't look stupid in front of his girlfriend whenever she asks him to get something for her or put something away for her. He doesn't ask many though, he knows what a good bit of it is.

- But don't come at him with an eyelash curler, he'll never get used to it. He thinks it's terrifying.

- John already knows the names of the stuff you're using, he just asks questions because he thinks it's funny.

- "You've got lipstick on your teeth, John." "What's that?"

- Putting eyeliner on John is hell. Actual hell.

- Paul's questions are genuine, he literally has no idea what the fuck you're doing.

- He actually jumped the first time you pulled out an eyelash curler.

- Part of you didn't even think he needed an eyelash curler, you just wanted to see what he'd do.

- If you’re doing one of their makeup while the rest of them are in the same room, it turns out to be really entertaining.

- Ringo likes to try and scare you so you jump and mess up whoever’s makeup you’re doing.

- Doing hair in the same room as them? That shit’s dangerous.

- Like one time Paul started to light a cigarette right as you were about to hairspray his hair.

- One time you almost accidentally cut half of George’s hair off because Ringo decided to sneak up behind you and tell you one of your combs was about to fall off your station, scaring the shit out of you.

- “…” “…One of your combs is about to-” “God— Ringo what the fuck is wrong with you?”

- They try and make sure you get to come on tours with them, if you’re not one of the stylists with them they’ll be slightly cranky before shows.

- “How’s the tour going George?” “Well right now, John’s messing with his hair in a mirror with a mean look on his face.”

- They’re just a bit off without you to keep them in check.

[freakingbellam]

Timeless (HP & HOO crossover x reader)

Synopsis: What would you say if I told you that Hogwarts and Camp Half-Blood are not so far apart? Yeah, Gale and Y/n would also say this is crazy. But these two girls are about to discover that even though they are far apart, the magic that surrounds them is the same. After all, what do a time travel, a fearful prophecy and a Titan about to resurrect, have in common? Certainly more than you can imagine.

Paring: Apollo x reader

Warnings: None, I guess.

Reader: Percy's step sister! reader

Word count: 1.7k

A / N: escreve o que quiser (notas da autora)

September 2010, New York - USA

Y/n would be lying if she said she didn’t cry like a baby when she saw Argo II return to Camp Half-Blood. She had been forbidden to help in the battle against the giants, but she was nevertheless not full at Camp. After the near invasion of Camp Jupiter and Reyna's visit, things got messed up there.

But the best part of the return of the other demigods was seeing Percy again. He looked extremely exhausted, but happy to be back in one piece. Y/n hugged him for so long that Percy almost fell asleep in her arms.

The boy was welcomed with all the frenzy he deserved, entitled to a hearty banquet and a visit from his father, along with a very tearful Sally and a relieved Paul.

Tyson had been absolutely thrilled to see his older brother talking to his friends by the fire, which glowed high and yellow, mirroring the emotion of the half-bloods.

Despite being as happy as the others, and maybe even more so, Y/n retired a little earlier that night. She didn't walk long before her absence was noticed.

‘Mingling with the shadows? I thought this was my own thing.” The girl smiled at Nico di Angelo, who walked over to her with his hands in the pockets of his aviator jacket, which was still too big for him.

“I'm going to sleep, Nico.” She explained, continuing her way to Cabin 3. “It was a day full of emotions, I'm tired.”

Nico nodded, walking beside her. Y/n always found it fun to be the same size as Nico, but now she realized that he was a few inches taller than she was.

“Are you okay?” she asked, bringing up the subject.

“I think so.” Nico replied, looking surprised by his own conclusion. “Maybe things get better for me from now on.”

“I'm sure it will.” Y/n opened an encouraging smile. Because he was the son of Hades, Nico suffered more than all the other demigods, which worried the girl. She hadn't seen him since the war of the Titans, but she talked to Percy during her mission and discovered things she didn't want to discover.

She looked at Nico. For the first time in his life, his face looked serene, as if his problems were gone. Y/n realized that it would be better not to go into details about the problems he went through. She did not want to end his joy.

“Di Angelo!” someone called, running up to them. Y/n turned to find Will Solace smiling like a ray of sunshine. “Hi Y/n!”

“Will.” She smiled. When looking at Nico, she noticed a pink tint on his cheeks and held her laugh. “Can you take care of Nico for me? I need to go to sleep but he doesn't want to leave.”

Will smiled, realizing what she meant. Nico looked at her with anger and indignation, but he didn't seem against the idea.

“Certainly.” The blonde took a step forward. “Have a good night!”

“You too.” She raised an eyebrow at Nico and walked back to her cabin.

She was still smiling when she passed Hecate's cabin, which looked darker than ever. Her smile wilted. She had always been a little afraid of the goddess's children since she found herself a half-blood and moved to camp. But that night, something seemed comforting in the hideous darkness of the cabin. Unable to contain the impulse that occurred to her, Y/n went up on the porch and went through the open door. None of the goddess's children were there, they were probably still at the stake celebrating, they always loved a good party.

Y/n didn't know exactly what she expected to find inside, but she certainly wasn't ready for what she saw. She had never entered the cabin since she had never been invited and it didn't feel right to enter without an invitation like she did now. But what she found was an absolute void. No bunk beds, bathroom, closet or chest. Nothing for the basic comfort of teenagers. All that was inside was a torch on the floor with a brown leather-bound notebook beside it.

“Take it” A whisper said, and Y/n knelt down to better analyze the notebook.

“Who...?” She started the question, but knew at the time that she had no need to finish it. Hecate was there. “Are you hiding in the shadows?”

There was a harsh laugh, but Y/n couldn't tell where it came from. It was as if the goddess moved in every particle of air around her.

“I heard that Poseidon's children were mocking, but seeing that feat face to face is much more fun. Ares definitely didn't say enough about it.”

“I don't think he has any reason to boast about it.” She commented, but her body was tense. Something about the goddess made her feel that bad things would happen any second.

“Take the notebook.” She asked, seeming to feel the girl's tension. “Take it and bring my girl back.”

“What does that mean?” Y/n asked, but never got an answer.

After several minutes, she finally let herself be overcome by curiosity, put the notebook under her arm and ran out of the cabin.

Y/n spent a few days without touching the notebook, which was comfortably resting on the small table in her cabin. Percy asked several times what the notebook was and why Y/n didn't move it, but the girl always answered the same thing. "It's just a silly notebook." She was afraid to open it and end up triggering something she couldn't control.

Percy and the others had just returned from a massacre battle with irreparable losses, she didn't want to leave anyone alarmed by something as stupid as a leather notebook.

Y/n tried to distract herself. She would swim in the lake, duel with Percy in the arena, ask Tyson to teach her something in the forges, help Chiron with pending camp, talk about the biggest zucchinis with Rachel, encourage Annabeth to talk nonstop about architecture, sometimes make her repeat everything he had said in Greek, but nothing seemed to get her thoughts out of the notebook. Instead of being distracted, she got some scars from the duels, burns from the forges and throbbing ears, but nothing erased the notebook.

Tired of trying, Y/n returned to the cabin and spent several minutes looking at the problem. She would get up a few times, making a move to pick it up, but soon she would go back to sitting on bed. When she finally thought she would be brave enough to end the trip, someone knocked on the door.

Changing her course, Y/n opened the door to the blond, smug figure.

Y/n and Apollo had spent a lot of time together a few months before, not that any of them had a chance to do the opposite. He had helped her save the Camp when everyone seemed too busy saving the world. Now she was no longer able to get rid of the sun god, who suddenly appeared in her cabin. At least now he had learned to knock on the door before entering.

“Good afternoon, beautiful lady.” He smiled, breaking into the cottage before Y/n had a chance to expel him. “What do you do locked in that cabin?”

“Apollo, seriously, now is not the best time.”

“Every hour is the best time for Apollo!” He smiled at her and Y/n found herself unable to say no to him. The god had that effect on her, but she couldn't explain why. She just went back to bed and sighed.

“What happened, Sunshine?” he asked, now more serious.

Y/n pointed to the notebook, like a child pointing out the bully who was mistreating her. Pausing to think, it was almost the same.

Apollo's gaze followed Y/n 's finger until it stopped at the Hecate symbol on the cover of the notebook, and he froze.

“What's it?”

“That notebook.” He got up and picked up it, playing with it in his hands. “I saw Hecate with another of his once many years ago. I asked her what they were, but she cast a spell on me that prevented me from speaking for two months. Where did you find it?”

“I found him at her cabin.” The girl admitted, unable to lie to the closest friend she had at the camp until that moment. “I heard Hecate ask me to take him away. I didn't understand what she expects me to do.”

“Write.” He suggested, after long minutes of silence.

“I’m sorry?” Y/n looked at him, confused. “What if something bad happens, Apollo? I don't know if I want to find out.”

The god smiled gently, taking the book to the girl and handing it over, along with a blue ballpoint pen. Y/n hesitated for a few seconds before picking up the pen and opening the notebook. But she didn't do much more than that, as the words “Owned by G. J. W.” they magically appeared on the first leaf, in a strange black ink.

Y/n looked at Apollo for help, but he just shrugged and encouraged her to write something below. "G. J. W.? This notebook is mine, and my name has none of those letters!”

Before she had a chance to tell Apollo how ridiculous it was, the notebook replied.

G: "Who are you?"

Y: “Y/n Y/l/n, are you?”

G: "Gale Wright"

Y: “How the hell am I talking to you through my notebook? Where you are from?"

G: “England. I'm a student at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, how about you? What school of magic do you belong to? ”

Y: "I'm not going to any magic school, I'm from New York, there's no such thing here!"

G: "I thought the United States school of magic was Ilvermorny"

Y: "I am not a witch!"

G: "Oh by Merlin, are you a muggle?"

Y: "Look, I may not be a witch but you don't have to curse me!"

G: “Muggle is a term for non-wizards ... But if you are not a witch, how can you talk to me? This notebook is bewitched, only those who have contact with magic could see it ”

Y: "I didn't know that the notebook was enchanted until now ... I didn't even know about the existence of a school of magic, wizards, yes, now schools? No, things are very different here"

G: "Different how?"

Y: "I am a camper at Camp Half-Blood"

G: "And what would that be?"

Y: "Well, a camp for demigods, of course!"

Y/n waited, but nothing else happened. She looked up at Apollo, who looked as upset as she was.

“School of Magic and Witchcraft of... Hogwarts?” She asked, hoping that Apollo would say something to her.

“I've heard of that school. Hecate loves to talk about how she has an entire chain of schools that teach children to do what she does. She is very proud of it.” He explained, taking the notebook from Y/n and examining the last conversation. “I just didn't think it was real at all. All the gods think it's Hecate's invention, but no one has ever tried to prove it.”

“Well, I think we just did that.” Y/n joked, but was far from feeling the fun of the situation, because, there in front of her, there was a problem. Perhaps a much bigger problem than she imagined.

[whack-ed]

TIMELESS (INTERACTIVE HP & HOO CROSSOVER)

Synopsis: Alex finds Hecate's notebook and discovers about the wizarding world and about Y/n.

Paring: In the beginning it's platonic!fred & george x reader, but I promise that in the end it is fred x reader.

Warnings: None, I guess.

Reader: Slytherin!Female

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: In this chapter, Y/n appears little, but it is extremely important.

September 2010, New York - USA

Alexa would be lying if she said she didn’t cry like a baby when she saw Argo II return to Camp Half-Blood. She had been forbidden to help in the battle against the giants, but she was nevertheless not full at Camp. After the near invasion of Camp Jupiter and Reyna's visit, things got messed up there.

But the best part of the return of the other demigods was seeing Percy again. He looked extremely exhausted, but happy to be back in one piece. Alex hugged him for so long that Percy almost fell asleep in her arms.

The boy was welcomed with all the frenzy he deserved, entitled to a hearty banquet and a visit from his father, along with a very tearful Sally and a relieved Paul. Tyson had been absolutely thrilled to see his older brother talking to his friends by the fire, which glowed high and yellow, mirroring the emotion of the half-bloods.

Despite being as happy as the others, and maybe even more so, Alex retired a little earlier that night. She didn't walk long before her absence was noticed.

‘Mingling with the shadows? I thought this was my own thing.” The girl smiled at Nico di Angelo, who walked over to her with his hands in the pockets of his aviator jacket, which was still too big for him.

“I'm going to sleep, Nico.” She explained, continuing her way to Cabin 3. “It was a day full of emotions, I'm tired.”

Nico nodded, walking beside her. Alex always found it fun to be the same size as Nico, but now she realized that he was a few inches taller than she was.

“Are you okay?” she asked, bringing up the subject.

“I think so.” Nico replied, looking surprised by his own conclusion. “Maybe things get better for me from now on.

“I'm sure it will.” Alexa opened an encouraging smile. Because he was the son of Hades, Nico suffered more than all the other demigods, which worried the girl. She hadn't seen him since the war of the Titans, but she talked to Percy during her mission and discovered things she didn't want to discover.

She looked at Nico. For the first time in his life, his face looked serene, as if his problems were gone. Alex realized that it would be better not to go into details about the problems he went through. She did not want to end his joy.

“Di Angelo!” someone called, running up to them. Alex turned to find Will Solace smiling like a ray of sunshine. “Hi Alex!”

“Will.” She smiled. When looking at Nico, she noticed a pink tint on his cheeks and held her laugh. “Can you take care of Nico for me? I need to go to sleep but he doesn't want to leave.”

Will smiled, realizing what she meant. Nico looked at her with anger and indignation, but he didn't seem against the idea.

“Certainly.” The blonde took a step forward. “Have a good night!”

“You too.” She raised an eyebrow at Nico and walked back to her cabin.

She was still smiling when she passed Hecate's cabin, which looked darker than ever. Her smile wilted. She had always been a little afraid of the goddess's children since she found herself a half-blood and moved to camp. But that night, something seemed comforting in the hideous darkness of the cabin. Unable to contain the impulse that occurred to her, Alexa went up on the porch and went through the open door. None of the goddess's children were there, they were probably still at the stake celebrating, they always loved a good party.

Alexa didn't know exactly what she expected to find inside, but she certainly wasn't ready for what she saw. She had never entered the cabin since she had never been invited and it didn't feel right to enter without an invitation like she did now. But what she found was an absolute void. No bunk beds, bathroom, closet or chest. Nothing for the basic comfort of teenagers. All that was inside was a torch on the floor with a brown leather-bound notebook beside it.

“Take it” A whisper said, and Alex knelt down to better analyze the notebook.

“Who...?” She started the question, but knew at the time that she had no need to finish it. Hecate was there. “Are you hiding in the shadows?”

There was a harsh laugh, but Alex couldn't tell where it came from. It was as if the goddess moved in every particle of air around her.

“I heard that Poseidon's children were mocking, but seeing that feat face to face is much more fun. Ares definitely didn't say enough about it.”

“I don't think he has any reason to boast about it.” She commented, but her body was tense. Something about the goddess made her feel that bad things would happen any second.

“Take the notebook.” She asked, seeming to feel the girl's tension. “Take it and bring my girl back.”

“What does that mean?” Alex asked, but never got an answer.

After several minutes, she finally let herself be overcome by curiosity, put the notebook under her arm and ran out of the cabin.

Alexa spent a few days without touching the notebook, which was comfortably resting on the small table in her cabin. Percy asked several times what the notebook was and why Alex didn't move it, but the girl always answered the same thing. "It's just a silly notebook." She was afraid to open it and end up triggering something she couldn't control.

Percy and the others had just returned from a massacre battle with irreparable losses, she didn't want to leave anyone alarmed by something as stupid as a leather notebook.

Alex tried to distract herself. She would swim in the lake, duel with Percy in the arena, ask Tyson to teach her something in the forges, help Chiron with pending camp, talk about the biggest zucchinis with Rachel, encourage Annabeth to talk nonstop about architecture, sometimes make her repeat everything he had said in Greek, but nothing seemed to get her thoughts out of the notebook. Instead of being distracted, she got some scars from the duels, burns from the forges and throbbing ears, but nothing erased the notebook.

Tired of trying, Alex returned to the cabin and spent several minutes looking at the problem. She would get up a few times, making a move to pick it up, but soon she would go back to sitting on bed. When she finally thought she would be brave enough to end the trip, someone knocked on the door.

Changing her course, Alex opened the door to the blond, smug figure.

Alexa and Apollo had spent a lot of time together a few months before, not that any of them had a chance to do the opposite. He had helped her save the Camp when everyone seemed too busy saving the world. Now she was no longer able to get rid of the sun god, who suddenly appeared in her cabin. At least now he had learned to knock on the door before entering.

“Good afternoon, beautiful lady.” He smiled, breaking into the cottage before Alex had a chance to expel him. “What do you do locked in that cabin?”

“Apollo, seriously, now is not the best time.”

“Every hour is the best time for Apollo!” He smiled at her and Alex found herself unable to say no to him. The god had that effect on her, but she couldn't explain why. She just went back to bed and sighed.

“What happened, Sunshine?” he asked, now more serious.

Alexa pointed to the notebook, like a child pointing out the bully who was mistreating her. Pausing to think, it was almost the same.

Apollo's gaze followed Alexa's finger until it stopped at the Hecate symbol on the cover of the notebook, and he froze.

“What's it?”

“That notebook.” He got up and picked up it, playing with it in his hands. “I saw Hecate with another of his once many years ago. I asked her what they were, but she cast a spell on me that prevented me from speaking for two months. Where did you find it?”

“I found him at her cabin.” The girl admitted, unable to lie to the closest friend she had at the camp until that moment. “I heard Hecate ask me to take him away. I didn't understand what she expects me to do.”

“Write.” He suggested, after long minutes of silence.

“I’m sorry?” Alex looked at him, confused. “What if something bad happens, Apollo? I don't know if I want to find out.”

The god smiled gently, taking the book to the girl and handing it over, along with a blue ballpoint pen. Alexa hesitated for a few seconds before picking up the pen and opening the notebook. But she didn't do much more than that, as the words “Owned by (your initials) ” they magically appeared on the first leaf, in a strange black ink.

Alex looked at Apollo for help, but he just shrugged and encouraged her to write something below. "(your initials)? This notebook is mine, and my name has none of those letters!”

Before she had a chance to tell Apollo how ridiculous it was, the notebook replied.

Y: "Who are you?"

A: “Alexa Pearson, you?”

Y: "Y/n Y/L/N"

A: “How the hell am I talking to you through my notebook? Where you are from?"

Y: “England. I'm a student at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, how about you? What school of magic do you belong to? ”

A: "I'm not going to any magic school, I'm from New York, there's no such thing here!"

Y: "I thought the United States school of magic was Ilvermorny"

A: "I am not a witch!"

Y: "Oh by Merlin, are you a muggle?"

A: "Look, I may not be a witch but you don't have to curse me!"

Y: “Muggle is a term for non-wizards ... But if you are not a witch, how can you talk to me? This notebook is bewitched, only those who have contact with magic could see it ”

A: "I didn't know that the notebook was enchanted until now ... I didn't even know about the existence of a school of magic, wizards, yes, now schools? No, things are very different here"

Y: "Different how?"

A: "I am a camper at Camp Half-Blood"

Y: "And what would that be?"

A: "A camp for demigods of course!"

Alexa waited, but nothing else happened. She looked up at Apollo, who looked as upset as she was.

“School of Magic and Witchcraft of... Hogwarts?” She asked, hoping that Apollo would say something to her.

“I've heard of that school. Hecate loves to talk about how she has an entire chain of schools that teach children to do what she does. She is very proud of it.” He explained, taking the notebook from Alex and examining the last conversation. “I just didn't think it was real at all. All the gods think it's Hecate's invention, but no one has ever tried to prove it.”

“Well, I think we just did that.” Alex joked, but was far from feeling the fun of the situation, because, there in front of her, there was a problem. Perhaps a much bigger problem than she imagined.

tagging mutuals: @nebulablakemurphy ​​ @jamilelucato ​​ @inglourious-imagines ​​​​ @clarissaxpearce ​​ @beiahadid ​ @idontknowwhatthisisfam ​ @kpopgirlbtssvt ​ @shinydragoness @snitches-at-dawn @freddieweasleyswife

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Title: Territory That Shouldn't Have Been Entered

Gif made by me!! Thanks to @joeynihil for the help!❤

Hope you all enjoy

Happy reading dollies.

Taglist: @leaalfred

"You slept with my sister"? Bella came running down the yard, yelling at Sam. She pushed into him which causes Paul and the others to get defensive of their alpha.

"Now is not the time or place". Sam tried to reason with Bella, holding off his pack from attacking her.

"Oh it's the perfect time. I can hear from all your buddies telling me how you bragged about your score".

Sam narrowed his eyes at Bella with a growl."I would never do that to Y/N".

"Then you should have left her alone".

"She's an adult. She can do what she wants". Sam simply and calmly told her. Bella shook her head aggressively.

"No, she doesn't need this life. It's bad enough that she knows I'm dating a vampire, Y/N doesn't need to get dragged into this world of yours".

"I'm not going to hurt her, if that's what's worrying you. She won't get hurt. I'm going to protect her".

"Are you going to protect her from the Volturi? Cause they're after anyone that knows about the Cullens"?

"I'll lay down my life for her".

"You imprinted on her didn't you"? Bella scoffed.

"That's none of your business".

"It is my business, she's my sister". Bella yelled.

"You need to calm down".

"Or what? Huh, you going to go all wolfie on me"?

"I'm not the one you have to worry about". Sam nodded towards the house. She turned around and saw you standing there. Arms crossed and a very disappointed look on your face.

"Come here, now". You ordered. Sam started to come to you. "Not you Sam". You said with a giggle.  "My sister".

Sam went back to his pack and Bella came into the house. Her head was down like she did when she got in trouble.

"What are you doing here"? You asked, leaning on the couch.

"I can't believe you slept with Sam". Bella spoke without looking at you, she chewed on her bottom lip.

"Why does it matter what I do"?

"It just does. You shouldn't have done that".

"Why? Does Sam have some disease that I dont know about? We used a condom if that's what you're worried about".

"Gross". Bella scrunched up her nose and shivered at the thought.

"You're going to change now".

"Into what? I'm not the one dating a vampire. You're the one that's going to change. I'm living a pretty normal life".

"Sam hasn't told you, has he"?

"What, Bella? What is Sam supposed to tell me? Does he have a hidden family somewhere? Does he turn green at night"?

"Come with me and find out".

"No, if Sam wanted me to know then he'll tell me himself. I don't need my little sister telling me what to do. Who I can and can not date. You're not mom or dad".

"You're right. Dad would be happy that you found a great guy like Sam but dad doesn't know what Sam really is".

"You've lost your marbles Bell, what is so bad about Sam"?

"I can't tell you. Sam has too".

You were getting fed up with the cat and mouse game with Bella. So you went back out to find Sam. He was still standing with his friends.

"Everything okay"? He asked as you got down to him.

"Show her". Bella demanded.

"Show her what"? Paul chuckled, making Sam shake his head at him to be quiet.

"Why are you doing this Bella"? Sam whispered low.

"She needs to know the truth before she gets into something that could kill her. So show her Sam".

"I'm confused right now. What is going on Sam"?

"Do you love me"? Sam asked a hard but simple question.

"Sam"?

"No, do you love me? Do you want to be with me"?

"Yes, I love you".

"Alright, back up. I dont want you to get hurt". Sam walked away from you and Bella going into the forest.

Bella grabbed your hand, the others started laughing as they saw that you were a little afraid of what Sam was doing.

"What"? You questioned but went silent as the trees disappeared behind a very large, very hairy black wolf. Your heart started to beat faster than its every done before. Bella held your hand tighter.

The wolf came closer to you, snarling his teeth. He was right in front of you and bowed his head to you. Telling you that he meant no harm and he was friendly.

"Sam"? You gulped as you stepped forward.

"Y/N"? Bella warned you as you stuck out your hand to touch its head.

You didn't listen to her and petted the top of Sam's head gently. He relaxed into your touch.

"This is really happening right now? Sam is a giant wolf? Holy shit". You gasped with a giggle.

"He's asking if you're okay with him changing in front of you"? Paul told you.

"Yeah, give me Sam". You stepped back, watching Sam change back to his human figure.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you". He told you but it didn't matter, you wrapped your arms around his neck kissing his lips.

"I understand, you had to be safe with making the decision".

"I trust you with knowing this.  I also love you and I want to be with you".

"I want to be with you too".

"That is until he imprints on someone else and leaves you". Bella said in the background.

"To your question before, I did imprint on Y/N, the moment we met".

"Great, you screwed up her life".

"How? How did Sam screw up my life? I'm in a fairly normal relationship. My boyfriend isn't cold and dead. His family is more likely to kill you than Sam is to hurt me".

"You don't want this life".

"Are you jealous, Bella? I have the werewolf and you don't? Because right now you seem jealous of what I have with Sam".

Bella scoffed, taken back that you were the one coming after her now. She didn't think you would stand up to her like that over your relationship with Sam.

"No, I'm not jealous. I just dont want you to get hurt. I don't want dad to have to worry about you. Him finding your body in a ditch some where cause you got attacked by a werewolf".

"She's more likely to get attacked by a vampire than one of us". Sam stepped in.

"They wouldn't hurt her".

"Yeah, they won't.  But what about traveling vampires that the Cullens bring in? Once I've imprinted on Y/N no wolf can touch her. It's the law".

"Laws can be broken. Dont you see that"?

"Well, she's safe here. I'm not letting anyone or thing get to her. So you don't have to worry". Sam wrapped his arm around your waist. 

"You should have stuck with your own kind". Bella yelled out of anger, she'll regret telling Sam that .

"You're lecturing me about sticking with my own kind? I'm not the one that's going to die for some ancient old person that's been around for hundreds of years. I'm sorry that I'm not human enough for you sister but I'm the best thing to it. Would you be happy if she got with Emmett or Jasper or one of the Volturi? Would that make a difference, you know since they're your kind"?

"I dont want her with them either".

"That's right. You dont want her to live her life and especially dont want her to have a relationship with anyone that you know. I'm not Jacob, I'm not going to be pushed around by you. You're not controlling us". Sam said sternly, stepping in front of you. Protecting you from your sister that will soon be an enemy to your kind.

"I just want her safe. I dont know what I'd do if I lost her".

"She's safe, with me. Now are you going to calm down and not dictate our relationship or do I have to ask you to leave"?

"I'm calm".

"Alright".

"So, are you guys a thing now"? Bella awkwardly asked.

"Yeah, why"? You could see she's thinking of a idea.

"Wanna double date"?

Sam shook his head, mouthing no.

"Sure, we'd love to".

"Cool, we can do something tonight if you guys want"?

"I have a wolf thing". Sam horribly made up something, scratching his head.

"We can do it tonight".

"Sweet, I'll tell Edward". Bella ran off. You guessed this was her was of accepting you and Sam.

"I dont want to have dinner with a blood sucker. Can't you read mouths".

"We are together which means you will be spending time with Bella and Edward. Also if Bella does get married and you and I get married that means that Edward is your brother n law. So play nice". You patted Sam's cheek. He rolled his eyes with a huff.

"I'm not liking this right now". He mumbled to himself.

"Well, if you like what we have you will be a nice kind wolf and do your part to keep the peace".

"Yes, dear". He teased.

"Good, now I'm going to get ready. I will see you later". You kissed his cheek and ran off to your house to get ready.

"Boy, does she got you whipped". Paul laughed along with the others.

"Haha. Go train". Sam spoke harshly to the pack. He wasn't mad at their little joke, he was mad that he had to go to dinner with a vampire but if Edward keeps his end of the deal everything shall go nicely.

We dont want a fight between a werewolf and a vampire in the middle of a restaurant.

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

No one's POV

Year 845: The day when wall Maria fell

"(Y/N)! Thomas! It's time for breakfast!" Gloria shouted from the dining room. Thomas, (Y/N)'s father, was sitting with (Y/N) in the living room. One of them busy with paperwork and the other with an interesting book borrowed from Erwin. (Y/N) didn't have training sessions with Erwin for a while, as he was on an expedition. He was supposed to return by now, but, he would be going to Wall Rose directly. (Y/N) kept her book down and followed her father out of the room to the dining room. "(Y/N), I cooked potato pancakes for you. Aren't they your favourite?" Gloria, (Y/N)'s mother told (Y/N) with a smile.

"Thank you" (Y/N) said softly, with her usual frown etched up on her face. It pained both Gloria and Thomas (L/N) that their adoptive daughter, no, they saw (Y/N) as nothing less than their own child, couldn't show emotions properly. It started after the incident with Jacob, one that they regretted ever since it happened. Only if they had the faintest idea of what that wretched man was doing to their beloved daughter... They consulted doctors from wall Rose to make sure (Y/N) is back to normal but the doctors only told them to be careful and not let (Y/N) get hold sharp objects.

They assumed (Y/N)'s aggression had something to do with her past in the underground, much like her self harming habits. They didn't know, however, that this would only push (Y/N) away from them. It's true that (Y/N) couldn't show emotions properly, but, that didn't mean the (L/N)s would love her any less. The day passed by normally, and just as Gloria was washing their plates for lunch, with the help of (Y/N), there was the sound of a huge explosion. "Gloria, stay with (Y/N) inside the house. I'll go see what that was" Thomas told the two of them before getting out. They waited for about fifteen minutes before a Garrison soldier knocked at their home.

"The wall of Shiganshina is breached! Gloria-san, your husband is helping with the evacuation. We need you to go to the barracks and gear up." the soldier said hastily. "Okay. Cadet Schultz, take (Y/N) to the evacuation boats. I'll catch up later" Gloria told him calmly. (Y/N) was witnessing everything. She knew enough about titans. She read about them in the books of Erwin's library. "Mom, I want to go with you" she told Gloria. Gloria looked at (Y/N)'s eyes, surprised that her eyes showed more emotions than she ever saw her express. There was fear, concern, love... "Honey, it's dangerous. I promise I'll be back before you know it with your dad." Gloria smiled as she felt (Y/N) hug her tightly. She knew that the chances of making through this was low. Very low. "Go now. We will be fine." she told (Y/N) before sending her off to the boats.

(Y/N) was sitting on the boat, hugging her legs. There were too many people here and she couldn't see any of her parents. There were no other soldiers here on this boat. "Maybe the soldiers are coming on a different boat?" (Y/N) thought. When the boat docked in Wall Rose, (Y/N) saw Erwin Smith standing there on the dockyard. She pushed through the crowd to go to him. When she reached him, she asked, "Are my mom and dad okay? Where are they?". "(Y/N), we don't have news about the soldiers fighting there yet. We will know by the next day. Right now, I need you to come with me. You won't be staying with the refugees as it is not safe. I arranged a home for you. You'll get good food, good clothes and a good place to sleep there." Erwin explained with a smile.

(Y/N) held his hand and went to the place he mentioned. It was a government run orphanage. Erwin mentioned that he had to pay money to let them take an extra child at this time. The matron looked like a kind motherly looking woman to (Y/N). "Be nice to everyone. Okay? I'll bring news about your parents as soon as I can." Erwin told (Y/N) with a kind smile before he left. (Y/N) remembered that something like this happened before.

"Don't be scared. You are safe now. No one will hurt you again." the blonde man told (Y/N) as he used a hairpin to unlock her cuffs. (Y/N) was huddled into a corner, scared that these men will take advantage of her like every other time. "It's okay. Everything will be okay. What's your name dear?" he asked with the same kind smile. "(Y/N)" (Y/N) managed to croak out. "Nice to meet you, (Y/N). I'm Erwin. Everything is going to be okay." he said, smiling. Everything didn't become okay.

"Was it happening again?" (Y/N) thought. "No. It can't be happening. They promised me that they will be back" (Y/N) brushed away the thought.

The next day

It was dawn. (Y/N) was sleeping on the bed assigned to her. The other children didn't talk to her yet as she spent most of her time in the matron's office. The matron was an amazing woman. She was nice to (Y/N), tried to give her as mental support as possible and made food almost as tasty as her mother. "(Y/N) dear? Wake up. Erwin Smith is here..." the matron called (Y/N), her face concerned. The whole orphanage was quiet, none of the other children were awake yet. (Y/N) walked towards the matron's office with the matron, a walk that seemed to go on for eternity. When she reached, (Y/N) saw Erwin sitting there, looking tired. "(Y/N)..." he started but (Y/N) interjected by saying, "They are dead, aren't they?".

There was no visible emotions in (Y/N)'s eyes. After all, she felt dead. Just her body was still functioning. It happened again. "Yes. Your parents died heroically, saving many citizens with their lives" Erwin told her, trying to make her proud. "They broke their promise. They left me too. They are no different from other people. They are just as bad as everyone else." (Y/N) stated, as if she was in a daze. "(Y/N), I'm sorry.." Erwin tried to say but (Y/N) stopped him. "It's not your fault, uncle Erwin. It's them." she told him, before walking to the bathroom. "I need something sharp..." she thought as she searched the bathroom for a blade.

A week later

The matron introduced (Y/N) to the other children as she decided that (Y/N) couldn't curl up in her office with a book forever. After all, (Y/N) was a permanent resident. There were twenty other children in the small orphanage. (Y/N) of course, didn't give any heed to their names at first because, of course, it was all pointless. What was the point of being alive anyway? What did she have left? Except her uncle Erwin? She was sure that he was strong enough to deal with her death anyway. He was the one who made her as strong as she is now.

It's because of him, she's still fighting. After the matron went away, telling (Y/N) to talk to the other kids, (Y/N) simply went to a corner of the room and start reading the book in her hand. It was the books and the agony in her body from the cuts she made on herself that kept her mind at bay from the death of her parents. She, of course, stole bandages from the matron's office to keep the bleeding at bay so that she wouldn't die. The cuts weren't too deep, just deep enough to sting for a whole day and heal up. She just had to make more cuts after it healed up.

"Oi brat, you think a newbie like you can just sit and read shit without working?" a young boy, much bigger than (Y/N) walked towards her, with another girl and a boy with him, all of them bigger than her. (Y/N) merely looked up from the book with a vacant expression. "Don't give me this look, you shit! Go do the dishes!" he shouted. "Isn't the matron supposed to assign chores? I remember doing mine this morning." (Y/N) answered to him calmly. "Listen, newbie, we make the rules here. Go do the dishes!" the leader of the group tried to speak in a menacing voice.

"I refuse to do it unless the matron asks me to" (Y/N) simply answered but just as she did, the boy took the book from her hand and tore it in half. "You two, get her" he ordered the other two kids who started kicking (Y/N). (Y/N) could’ve easily beaten them up but she remembered the advice from Erwin. "Be nice to everyone" he said. (Y/N) didn't flinch even when they hit her in the areas with cuts, she was accustomed to pain. After all, she always had these habits and also went through training with Erwin.

These went on for a week. When those kids, Sean (the leader), Lena (the girl) and Paul (the other boy) found out that (Y/N) doesn't react to beatings, they started picking up on her in different ways. One day, they poured horse shit in her drawer full of clothes. The other day, they burnt all her books. (Y/N) still didn't move from her decision to do their chores for them. After a week, Erwin came to visit. Erwin decided to visit (Y/N) every week, to brush up on her training. Her training was complete before the fall of wall Maria, but, he still decided to spar with her sometimes, so that she wouldn't loose her practice.

Erwin also was fond of the small girl, almost as if she was his own daughter. It's true, Pixis asked him to train her in the first place and also got (Y/N) the place in the orphanage using his power in Trost, however, as Erwin trained her, he realized that she was going to be a deadly weapon if she ever joined the military, or the survey corps. Erwin, however, wasn't keen on her joining the survey corps due to the mortality rate. He didn't want (Y/N) to die as she was almost like the daughter he never had. Erwin was a ruthless person but, (Y/N) seemed to be one of the very few soft spots he had. As he sat in the matron's office, he saw a calm but angry looking (Y/N) enter the room. He figured something was wrong. "(Y/N), is everything okay?" was his first question to her.

"I don't like this place." (Y/N) simply replied. "Why is it? Did someone bother you?" Erwin asked, concerned. (Y/N) explained everything that happened in the past week to Erwin. "Why didn't you fight back then?" Erwin asked, quiet surprised that (Y/N) took a few beatings. (Y/N) wasn't the type of person who would take beatings without counterattacking. At least that was how it was during training. "You told me to be nice to everyone" (Y/N) grumbled. "Well, did you complain to the matron?" Erwin asked. "I did. She scolded them but that only increased the problem" (Y/N) explained.

"I see. Well, I know I told you to be nice to everyone but that doesn't mean you won't use self defence when required." Erwin advised. "So, I can beat them up?" (Y/N) asked, with an evil glint in her eyes. "Yes but stay in your limits. Don't make any permanent injury." Erwin said cautiously. (Y/N) was still a kid and kids couldn't be trusted much when they are angry. "Oh don't worry. I'll just scare them a bit." (Y/N) answered with a sly smile that worried Erwin even more. With that, they went to a nearby field to brush up on the training by sparring.

That night, (Y/N) sneaked into the matron's office to find a stack of newspapers. She saw the stack in the matron's shelf before when she took a book from there when she first arrived. After searching for a while, she found the newspaper she was looking for, the one from 6 years back. The one with the news of the murder of Jacob. After taking the newspaper, (Y/N) sneaked into the kitchen to get a knife.

She walked into the boy's dormitory to find Sean sleeping on his bed. "Oi, Sean" (Y/N) called out. "Huh? What?" Sean got up, still sleepy. "What the hell are you doing here. Are you really itching to get beaten?" he growled after seeing it was (Y/N) who called him. "I don't intend to have a single scratch by you on my body, Sean. However, I can't say the same for you" (Y/N) answered, putting in a psychotic smile on her face as she brought her knife out in the open as it glinted in the moonlight coming from the window in the room. The whole room of boys were awake now. (Y/N) suddenly threw the knife backwards, which stuck to a bed post along with the fabric of the night shirt of Paul near his hand, thus keeping his hand in place.

Paul was white with fear as it happened and (Y/N) simply said, "Paul, don't try to move or come at me with the knife. It's going to get in your stomach in that case". She then threw the Newspaper at the now intimidated Sean's face before saying, " Read the headline.". The whole room of boys were watching, scared by (Y/N)'s sudden change in demeanour. "8 year old brutally kills soldier". Sean read before pausing. "(Y/N) (L/N), an 8 year old child from the Shiganshina district, killed Jacob Meyer, a garrison soldier from Thomas (L/N), (Y/N) (L/N)'s adoptive father's squad. Jacob's eyes were gauged out and throat was slit and his head was almost severed by what seemed like at least 20 stabs. About (Y/N) (L/N)'s past, all that is known is that she was rescued from a whorehouse in the upper class pleasure district in the underground..." Sean continued but his voice faded.

(Y/N)'s picture was drawn on the newspaper. They had no idea who they were messing with. "Well, that's enough. Now answer me, who else wants to end up like that piece of garbage?" (Y/N) asked in a cold voice. No one answered. "That's a good choice. Now," (Y/N) started as she moved towards Paul and pulled the knife out of the bedpost, "all of you, don't mention that I was here tonight. And yes, no one will be listening to these two worthless garbage here anymore or their so called friend. No one will do one extra work than what's assigned to them by the matron. Am I clear?" (Y/N) finished. Some kids were crying as they were intimidated but all of them nodded or muttered yes. "Good. Oh, and, don't bother me when I'm reading. Just leave me alone okay?" (Y/N) told before leaving the room with the newspaper and the knife so that she can keep those in place again without anyone realising.

Year 847:

It had been two years since (Y/N) started living in the orphanage. After that day, no one messed with (Y/N) again, and, no one listened to those three bullies ever again either. However, every good thing always came to an end. "Commander Smith, (Y/N) is already 16 years old. She's an adult now and we usually look for a groom for anyone who is of age in our orphanage. If you gave me the permission, I would've looked for someone suitable" the matron told Erwin. Erwin was called to the orphanage after (Y/N)'s so called 16th birthday according to her birth certificate. "Well, I suppose? I just didn't think that she will get married so soon..." Erwin started but (Y/N), who was also sitting in the room and listening to the conversation, stopped him and said, "Exactly. I am not getting married so soon.".

"But (Y/N), you're of age and it's against orphanage policies..." the matron started but was interrupted by (Y/N) as she said, "I understand that. I'm joining the military.". "(Y/N), you are not joining the military." Erwin simply answered. "Why not? Am I not of age? Am I not allowed to make decisions now? If I'm old enough to get married, why am I not allowed to join the military?" (Y/N) asked casually. "(Y/N), it's dangerous unless if you join the military police." Erwin sighed. He knew where it was going. "You really think I will join the military police, Uncle Erwin? I'm joining the Survey Corps. I'll kill those bastards who took my parents away from me." (Y/N) said as the matron shouted, "Language (Y/N)!".

"Very well. I have to ask you though, (Y/N). Could you die if you're asked to?" Erwin asked (Y/N). "Depends on why you are asking me to die. If the reason is valid enough, then I am ready." (Y/N) answered. "Well, (Y/N), on missions, I can't look out after you. I might have to send you to your death if required because on expeditions, I'm your commander, not your uncle." Erwin told (Y/N) coldly. "I understand." (Y/N) answered. She enlisted to the 104th trainee corps the next day. "I won't let myself be hurt again" she thought as she wore her uniform, leaving the orphanage for good. The (Y/N) from four years back didn't know that it will keep happening again (Jacob) and again (death of parents) and again (death of squad Levi) and... Again...

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

[firstumcschenectady]

If I'm honest, I'm not a fan of my own weaknesses. (I pause now to await the ones who know me well to stop laughing at my understatement.) I would really like to be strong, capable, and impressive in all ways.

I'm not.

I'm a normal human mix of capable and incapable, strong and weak, impressive and profoundly not impressive. It is truly annoying.

From conversation, I'm under the impression that some of you are more at peace with this than I am, and that is such good news. You are all living proof that wisdom, maturity, and the grace of God are profoundly powerful. I'm also aware that some of you are with me, in being frustrated in your own imperfection, and always pushing yourself for more. May God's grace transform us too.

Anyway, my own sense of self, and my own impatience, are quite a lens to bring to our Epistle reading today. Paul talks about a “thorn in his side,” one that he has asked God to remove repeatedly, and one that he has come to believe is USEFUL in his ministry. The use of the thorn in the side? Keeping him humble, and reminding him that "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."

Paul, who in this whole passage is modeling a different kind of leadership is refusing to play the games asked of him. Others have come to the church in Corinth bragging about who they are, what visions they've seen, and what authority it gives them. Paul has been asked to justify himself and his authority.

The passage we read today is part of him refusing to play along.

It opens with a weird piece about “someone” having a vision, which ends up being Paul, but he refuses to give any details or use it to gain any power over anyone else. Furthermore, he refuses to engage in even arguing about what form the vision took. Paul is NOT PLAYING by the rules.

He is facing people who boast, but he refuses to boast, OTHER than about God, so instead of bragging about himself, he talks about his WEAKNESSES. He talks about the thorn in his side. (No, no one knows what it is. Options in likeliness order include physical ailment, mental illness, outside persecution, or spiritual torment.) And then he talks about God.

I found a wonderful passage from a commentary I was tempted to share, but it was so dense I didn't think it would help anything. So, instead, I'm going to summarize it for you, and put it in the footnotes.1 2

Paul is being told that the thorn in his side, that weakness in him, is a place that God's grace can work. For Paul, this connects to Jesus being “crucified in weakness” but raised to life by the power of God. If Jesus' life was defined by his weakness and God's strength, then sharing the Good News of Jesus is also about letting God shine through our weaknesses. So Paul doesn't try to overcome his weaknesses, nor dismiss them (like the Cynics and Stoics of his day). He also doesn't try to be self-sufficient, which would involve limiting his own needs to limit his dependence on others. Instead, he accepts his “thorn in the side” and other weaknesses, and lets them guide him to dependence – on God.

So, to those bragging about what they've experienced of God, Paul refuses to boast, except about his WEAKNESS. To those seeking self-sufficiency, Paul responds with his dependence. This is definitely one of those cases where I can see why Paul was such an effective messenger of the story and love of Jesus.

This humble Paul, who only brags about his weakness, who acknowledges his dependence, who speaks highly of others but not himself, and who names the work of God in anything others might praise in his own life – THIS is the faith I grew up with. This is what I saw in my own church, and at church camp, and in the Annual Conference leaders when I started attending as a young teenager. I watched this being modeled, and I internalized it. The faith of bragging about the accomplishments of others, but not of ones self. The faith of seeing remarkable transformation happening, and thanking God. The faith of humility. This all feels like first language faith to me, the way that things are without even having to think about them.

From where I stand today, I don't know if that's good. Or, at least, I don't know if it is equally good for everyone, or for every time. And I wonder if another person had been with me in those faith-forming experiences if they would have heard it and internalized it in the same ways.

This is funny, because there is a HUGE part of me that says “OF COURSE THIS IS GOOD, this is WHAT GOOD LOOKS LIKE, this is what being GODLY looks like.” But I've learned, over the years, to question everything, especially things that refuse to be questioned.

I wonder if “be humble, only speak of the accomplishments of others, praise God for anything praise worthy in yourself” ends up taking especially strong hold in women, in people of color, and in others who are marginalized, which ends up supporting the status quo in ignoring the wonders and accomplishments of many of God's beloveds. And, I think about the quiet ways women and people of color are shamed for appearing to be insufficiently humble. I wonder if there are ways that those who are not marginalized are immune to the message of humility, and end up being the only ones comfortable with touting their accomplishments. And then, since others are also touting theirs, they seem the most capable.

I wonder if my first language, faith of my childhood ends up doing more harm than good by reinforcing exactly the ways that society wants to ignore the giftedness of many of God's children.

Rev. Dr. Eric Law in The Wolf Shall Dwell with the Lamb says, “Our vision of the Peaceable Realm is not based on fear. Instead it is based on lack of fear....This lack of fear is created by the even distribution of power.”3 When humility is used by some, but not others, we end up protecting those in power, instead of moving towards power sharing. Law's book discusses a cycle of Christian living between death and resurrection: 1. Giving up power, choosing the cross 2. Cross, death, powerless 3. empowerment, endurance, faithfulness 4. Empty Tomb, Resurrection, Powerful. He emphasizes that we need to hold things in balance, not staying in one part of the story, but living the cycle over and over again. In fact, he talks about those with power giving power away, and that is if this is a way of life, power gets shared.

I think that maybe the faith I grew up with is one with GREAT value, especially in any situation where I have power. It is good to brag on others, lift others up, focus on inter-dependence, be aware of one's weaknesses, and take it as an invitation to invite another's strengths.

However, I think it is, maybe, only part of a fuller story. It is also important to see how God has gifted us, and think about how we want to use those gifts for the kindom. It is important to hear how what we have to offer blesses others. It is important to receive power, particularly when we are in a situation where we don't have much. I think the full cycle is bigger than the one I'd internalized.

So, I don't know what message you need today. (I don't know what one I need today.) Maybe the reminder to look for God at work in our weaknesses, maybe to brag on each other, maybe to give up on self-sufficiency – and maybe to get REALLY REALLY clear on your own strengths and gifts and not let anyone take that away from you.

But I do know that Paul in 2 Corinthians and Jesus in his own hometown know a thing or two about being human, being limited, and finding God in the midst of it. And whatever else the message is in these passages today, I appreciate the reminder that God can bring good out of my weaknesses, and that makes them rather wonderful just as they are. Finally, I appreciate the struggle, to reach for a fuller faith, and acknowledge the complicatedness of trying to live as a follower of Christ. Thanks be to God. Amen

1“The apostle is directed to understand his affliction as part of that weakness in and through which God's powerful grace is operated. It is clear that, from Paul's point of view, the decisive demonstration of this oracular pronouncement is Christ himself, 'crucified in weakness,' but alive 'by the power of God.' This is why weakness is the hallmark of his apostleship, because he has been commissioned to the service of the gospel through the grace of this Christ – a grace whose power is made present in the cross. Paul therefore does not, like the Cynic and Stoic philosophers of his day, strive to transcend his weaknesses by dismissing them as trifling. Nor does he, like them, hold to the ideal of self-sufficiency, striving to limit his own needs and therefore his dependency on others. Rather, precisely by accepting his tribulations as real weaknesses he is led by them to acknowledge his ultimate dependence on God.” Victor Paul Furnish II Corinthians in The Anchor Bible Series (Garden City, New York: Doubleday & Company Inc, 1984), 550.

2 Funish, 550.

3 Eric H. F. Law The Worf Shall Dwell with the Lamb: A Spirituality for Leadership in a Multicultural Community (St. Louis, Missouri: Chalice Press, 1993) 14.

Rev. Sara E. Baron 

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 

Pronouns: she/her/hers 

http://fumcschenectady.org/ 

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

July 4, 2021

Photo Credit to Barb Armstrong.

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Fast Five

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We Continue Our Look At The Fast And Furious Series By Looking At The 5th Installment, Fast Five...

In This Movie, We Find Dom, Brian And Mia On The Run From DDS Agent Luke Hobbs (Played By Dwayne "You're Welcome" Johnson)...

And Police Officer Elena Neves (Played By Elsa "Wife Of Thor" Pataky) While Also Planning Another Heist This Time Against Corrupt Buisnessman, Hernan Reyes (Played By Joaquim De Almeida) But In Order To Pull This Off They're Going To Need The Help Of Some Old Friends...

So, Let's Talk About Fast Five To See If It's As Good As The Last Movie...

The Movie Starts Where The Last One Left Off With Brian (Played By Paul Walker) Mia (Played By Jordana Brewster) And Leo And Rico Driving Off To Rescue Dom (Played By Vin Diesel) From The Prison Bus To Lompoc...

After The Title Card We Get Some News Reports On Brian, Dom And Mia (Including One From Kent Shockneck And If You're Reading This We Love Ya, Kent) Before We Go To Rio...

No Offense But Why Do Movie Characters Always Go To Rio? They're Hiding Out There, The Incredible Hulk Hid Here, Bella And Edward Had Their Honeymoon, Max Bialystock And Leo Bloom Wanted To Hide Out Here..

(Start At 0:46, End At 1:20)

Rio Looks Like A Beautiful City But Please Movie Writers Send Your Characters Somewhere Else I'm Tired Of Seeing Rio In Movies I Half Expect These Characters To Run Into One Another!...

Anyway, With Dom On The Run, Brian And Mia Go To Rio To See...

Vince...

Yep, Vince Is Still Alive After Nearly Dying At The Hands Of That Truck Driver In The Original Movie And He's Not Half Of The Pain In The Butt He Was In The First Movie Either, He Settled Down In Rio, Started A Family, He Has A Son...

They Ask If Dom's Arrived But Unfortunately He Hasn't And The Last Time Vince Heard From Him He Was In Ecuador A Few Weeks Ago. Having Dinner That Night, Vince Talks About How He Ended Up In Rio, Saying That After Brian Screwed Everything Up He Ended Up Drinking His Way Across South America And It Would Have Continued If Not For His Wife, Rosa...

Meanwhile, Mia Spends Her Time With Vince's Wife, Rosa Who Discovers That Mia Is Pregnant And That Neither Dom Nor Brian Know...

Talking With Both Brian And Mia, Vince Talks About A Job Coming Up That Despite Dom Not Being Here They Can Do Themselves Coulple High End Cars, Easy Targets And Someone Vince Knows Is Putting Together A Team To Swipe Them All They're Going To Need Is A Few More Willing Participants...

But Brian Isn't Sure But Vince Tells Him That With The Way The Car Scene Works In Rio They Can Unload Them Quick And Get Good Money And From His Point Of View Brian And Mia Could Use A Little Cash..

The Next Morning, Brian And Mia Are On-Board A Train Where Mia Is Looking At A Travel Guide Until They Get The Signal To Which They Digitally Copy The Conductor's Pass So They Can Create A Card To Open The Doors, Finding The Right Area, They Get The Covers Off As People Outside Weld Their Way In...

(End At 5:24)

Once They Come Up For Air, Dom And Brian Are Taken By The Other Guys Who Work For Hernan Reyes Who Is Probably The Worst Bad Guy These Films Have Ever Had And That Includes Verone...

Look At Him, This Guy Doesn't Even Match Up To What Braga Was In The Last Movie!

Anyway, Reyes That If He Tells Them Where The Car Is He'll Let Them Go But Brian Saying That Reyes Is Full Of Crap Leads Reyes To Threaten To Come After Mia...

(Acting Like Liam Neeson) And I Will Kill Her...

Dom Gets Outs Out Of His Bonds Once Reyes Is Gone So He Can Continue Beating The Crap Out Of His Men While Brian...Kicks Them...Yay...Don't Quit Your Day Job, Brian...

Reuniting With Mia, She Wonders Where Vince Is Which Brian Says Is A Good Question But If That's Not All, Mia Has More Bad News, Everyone Is Blaming Them For The Death Of Some DEA Agents That Were On The Train, Which Means They're Now America's Most Wanted And They Got To Get Out Of There But Dom's Not Going Anywhere Yet Because Reyes Wanted This Car And He Wants To Find Out Why...

That Night, DDS Luke Hobbs Arrives In Rio And How Do I Describe Hobbs In This Movie? Well, To Put It In Musical Terms Consider Him The Javert To Dom's Valjean...

Talking With The Chief Of Police, Hobbs Tells Him That He Wants 2 Things ,1. He Needs A Translator For Which He Chooses Elena Neves And The Other Thing Is To Stay The Hell Out Of His Way...

Back At The Garage, Vince Returns With Both Brian And Dom Asking Where He's Been Turns Out There Are Guys Around The Favelas Asking About Them And He Couldn't Get Out Of There Without Leading Them Straight To Them However Brian's Not Buying It...

But That Night, Dom Sees Vince Going To Get A Microchip Out Of The Car Confirming Brian's Suspicions Of Vince's Involvement With Reyes...

(Start At 0:19, End At 1:39)

Meanwhile, Hobbs Looks At The Train As Officer Elena Neves Arrives On The Scene, And How Do I Explain Her? Well, Consider Her Dom's Love Interest For This Movie And The Next Movie Anyway, Wondering Why Hobbs Wanted Her Turns Out The Reason Is Because He Thinks That She's Motivated And That She's The Only Officer That Can't Be Bought...

One Of Hobbs Men Comes To Him With Some Good News And Bad News, Good News Is They Found The Spots Where They Unloaded The Cars And The Bad News Is The Ground Rolls Into A Hard Pack And They Lost The Track But Reyes Points Out That Road Heads Toward The Favelas...

The Next Morning, They Look At The Chip And Discover That It's A Delivery Schedule And What's Better Each Shipment Is Worth $10 Million Dollars And What's Even Better Is 100 Million In Cash Houses..

Discovering That This Is Reyes Entire Network On A Chip, They Got Bigger Problems As Reyes Boys Come In For An Attack And What's Worse, Hobbs Isn't Too Far Behind...

(End At 2:56)

Reuniting With Mia And Brian, Dom Thinks It's Best If They All Split Up, But Mia Doesn't Want That Telling Them The Truth That She's Pregnant...

With Brian Happy At The News, Dom Agrees From Now On They Stick Together...

Searching Where Dom Was, Reyes Thinks That Something Doesn't Add Up But Hobbs Just Sees Them As Names On A List That Need To Be Taken Down Asking If His Men Have Anything, One Of Them Mentions That The Vehicle Belongs To Reyes. To Neves Says That If Anything Illegal Is Happening In Rio Then Reyes Is Involved Which Gets Hobbs Interested In Him...

Hiding At Someplace, Brian Talks To Dom While Mia Is Sleeping About Their Father...

With Dom Asking About Brian's Father He Tells Him That He Doesn't Remember Anything About Him Because He Was Never There. Telling Dom They Need To Get Out, Dom Says He Has A Plan On How They're Going To Do It And It Involves Reyes Chip, They're Going To Use It To Steal All Of Reyes Money And Then Disappear But Brian Points Out That In Order To Do This They're Going To Need A Team...

To Start First, They're Going To Need A Chameleon, Someone To Blend In Anywhere And For That They Choose Han, Second, They're Going To Need A Fast Talker Someone Who Can Talk Their Way Out Of Anything And For That They Get Brian's Old Friend, Roman Pierce, 3rd, They're Also Going To Need Someone Good At Circuits, So, Brian Brings In Tej Who Lost His Horrible Afro!

4, They're Going To Need Guys That Can Punch Through Walls For Which They Bring In Leo And Rico For Some Reason? 5, They're Going To Need Someone Good At Utilities And Weapons, Basically Someone Who's Not Afraid To Get Into A Fight For Which They Bring In Giselle And Lastly They Need 2 Precision Drivers Guys That Never Lose For Which They Choose Themselves...

No Offense, Guys We Know You're Going To Be On The Team No Matter What But You Couldn't Pick 2 Other Precision Drivers To Back You Up Maybe Leon Or Suki, Perhaps?

With Tej And Roman Being The First Ones To Arrive, It's Funny As Hell These Guys Are So Good Together To The Point I Wouldn't Mind Seeing Them Get Their Own Spin-Off Movie...

With Giselle Being The Next To Arrive, She's Less Than Nice...

Don't Make Me Kill You Like I Did Maxwell Lord!

Leo And Rico Are The Next To Arrive And They Talk In Spanish...

And With Han Being The Last Looks Like The Gang's All Here As Dom, Brian And Mia Enter To Fill Them In...

With All Of Them In, Han Makes A Point In Saying That One Cash House Is Robbed The Rest Will Be Moved Into One Area...

So, What Do They Do? They Attack One Of The Houses Where They Tie Everyone Up, Take Off Their Masks And Burn The Cash This Time As...

Meanwhile Hobbs Boys Fix The Car And Discover That They Took The Microchip For It While Also Hearing About An Armed Robbery On Reyes Corporations To Which Neves Knows Immediately That It Was Dom...

Telling Reyes That Dom And His Crew Burned The Money, Reyes Wants All Of His Money Under Lock And Key Within The Hour...

With Each Member At A Location They Follow It To One Location, Police Headquarters...

With The Mission Getting A Lot Harder, Dom Believes That This It Doesn't Change A Thing And They Should Stick To The Plan...

Meanwhile Hobbs Looks At Traffic Cams At The Time Of The Robbery And Zooms Into A 1970 Charger To See 2 People Wearing Ski Masks But Running It Through FRS To See That It's Dom...

That Night, Reyes Visits The Police Who Have His Money Under Lock And Key In A Safe, Asking About Dom And Brian They Say That They're Looking For Them But That's Not Apparently Enough As Reyes Decides To Place A Price On Their Heads So High That Every Eye In The City Will Be Looking For Them...

Back At Dom's HQ, Mia Shows Some Blueprints Of The Police Station She Got From Police HQ, But Unfortunately It Doesn't Say What Type Of Safe They're Using So, They Decide To Run A Stealth Mission To Find Out, Using Roman To Get Their Eyes In There...

With Tej Getting An RC Car With A Camera On It Out Of The Box That Roman Gave To The Police Officer That Kicked Him Out...

Seeing The Safe, Tej Knows Immediately That This One Is Going To Be Hard To Crack...

Then Leo And Rico Go In And Place An Explosive In The Toilet Pipes, EW! So, They Can Go In And Drill Into The Wall So They Can Set Up Connections To The Cameras At Police HQ To Their Laptop...

The Cameras Apparently Have Marker Optics With 100 Degree Field Of View That Oscilates Every 10 Seconds Which Means They're Going To Need Really Fast Cars To Do This...

With Everyone Building A Track, Dom And Brian Go Out To Grab Some Cars By Checking Out The Street Racing Scene By Talking To A Racer Who Thinks That Dom's Car Is A Worthy Trophy For Anyone To Have In His Garage Which Leads Him To Challenge Dom For Pink Slips And That's The Last Mistake That S.O.B. Will Ever Make...

With Brian Running The Car On The Track, The Camera's They Have Set Up Unfortunately Spots Him, So, They Decide To Get Different Cars With Different Drivers...

But All Of Them Are Seen!

Of Course They're Seen! No Car Can Truly Be Invisible Unless That Car Is Being Driven By James Bond!

Anyway, Han Gets A Copy Of The Exact Same Safe That Is In Police Headquarters Which Tej Is Going To Work On Cracking However, They're Forgetting About One Thing, The Handprint Scanner, Yep They're Going To Need Reyes Handprint In Order To Get This To Work, So, They Use Giselle And Han To Get It...

While Monitoring Reyes, Han Asks Giselle About Her Military History While She Bring Up How He Used To Be A Smoker...

Yeah, Guys This Is Great And All But Now's Not A Good Time To Be Playing The Dating Game, You Guys Should Be Monitoring Rey.....es.....

Returning With The Print, Tej Only Has One Question....

Please Answer It!

Thank You, Cher I Needed That...

While My Interest In Gal Gadot Blinded Me, The Entire Team Has Just Become Wanted Criminals By Hobbs As Brian Explains That He's The Guy The FBI Gets Whenever They Want Somebody...

With Han Asking Dom To Move Up Their Timeline, Dom Has An Idea Where They're All Confronted By Hobbs At A Street Race Where He Attempts To Arrest Them...

(Start At 0:14, End At 2:01)

With Hobbs Walking Off, Dom Gains A Win As Tej Plants A Tracker On Their Van....

With Neves Going Home For The Night, She Finds Dom In Her House Just To Get Letty's Necklace Back

Yeah, I Agree With Mrs. Hemsworth Here, Why Bother Coming Back For A Lousy Necklace?

It's Worth It? No Offense But That's BULL! Nothing Is Worth Getting Arrested Not Even Getting Back A Necklace That Belonged To Someone You Lost!

Telling Dom That He Should Run Because Hobbs Will Eventually Find Him However She's More Interested On Why He Stays When He Should Run Which Leads Him To Ask Her The Same Question Which Leads Neves To Talk About Her Dead Husband...

Realizing Dom Didn't Kill The Men On The Train, She Asks If Letty Was Special To Him? Which Leads Him To Say That He Never Thought That Anyone Could Understand How Much...

Back At Dom's HQ, Everyone Continues Testing Cars That Just Keep On Failing Because (As Han Points Out) The Window Of Time Is Just Too Small And The Only Way They'll Ever Do It Is If Their Cars Are Invisible Which Is (As I Pointed Out Earlier) Impossible...

However, Dom Says He Knows Just Where To Get The Cars...

All Right, I'll Bite, Where, Dom?

They Drive To Police Headquarters To Swipe A Few Police Cars...

So, With Dom, Brian, Roman And Han In Police Cars They Decide To Do A Small Race With The Winner Getting An Extra Million...

With Roman In The Lead, Dom Eventually Takes Over That Lead With The Race Being Anyone's Game But It's Brian That Wins The Race, However It's Implied By Roman And Han That Dom Let Him Win...

The Next Morning, Mia Goes To The Market Only To Be Grabbed By Vince Who Says That Reyes Men Are Tracking Her...

Telling Brian And Dom About This, All Is Forgiven And Vince Becomes A Member Of The Team Again...

Preparing Dinner, The Other Members Talk About What They're Going To Do With Their Share Of Reyes Money, And They Also Find Out About Mia's Pregnancy...

Ok, Tej That Joke Was Good Enough For Giselle But Don't Push It On Mia...

Which Leads Dom To Make A Toast...

The Next Day, The Plan Is Set To Go Underway, With Everyone Taking Off Except For Dom, Brian, Mia And Vince Who Will Join Them In A Few However, Hobbs And His Team Arrive At Their HQ To Try To Arrest Them Which Leads To A Fight Between Hobbs And Dom...

And How Do I Describe This Scene? Well, Imagine If The Confrontation From Les Miserables Was A Fist Fight...

Sparring Hobb's Life, He Arrests Dom, Brian, Mia And Vince...

(Watch Whole Video)

While Saving Hobbs And Neves, Vince Gets Badly Injured And Dies From His Wounds Making Him The Eponine Of This Movie, But Before He Does He Tells Dom That He Named His Son After Him...

With The Mission Still On, Everyone Thinks It's A Bad Idea And That The Best Option Is Running As It's Now A Suicide Mission And That They Tripled Their Detail At The Police Station But One Way Or Another, Dom Has No Intention Of Letting Reyes Get Away With This.

With Hobbs Siding By Dom, Because He Wants Revenge For The Death Of His Men Everyone Follows After That As They Ask What The Plan Is...

With The Cars Arriving At The Police Station, They Decide To Use The Element Of Surprise To Ram Their Way In...

With Hobbs And Neves Dealing With The Guards, Dom And Brian Grab The Safe Using Tow Cables To Pull It Right Out Of The Wall..

With Police Following Them, It's A Chase Through The City With The Safe Bouncing All Over The Place, I'm Surprised No One's Getting Flattened Like Wile E Coyote...

But I Will Say That They Do Do Some Interesting Driving Techniques While Hauling The Safe Like Using It To Crash 2 Police Cars, Dragging It Down An Alley With One Car Going Forward And The Other Driving Backwards

But Just As They're Surrounded By Cops Who Are Shooting At Them, Roman And Han Come To The Rescue In The Cop Cars They Stole...

With Them Reaching A Bridge, They Have Too Many Cops Behind Them, Dom Decides To Cut Brian Loose Stating That He's Going To Be A Father And That He Needs To Think About Mia And The Baby...

With Dom Pulling The Safe With All Of His Nos He Manages To Hit Car By Car With The Safe, Ejecting Out Of The Car When The Safe Hits One Of Reyes' Cars So That His Car Can Hit The Car With Reyes Inside.,.

But Surprisingly They're Still Alive, That Is Until Brian Shoots Reyes Main Man And Hobbs Kills Reyes...

Saying That They Can't Take The Safe With Them, Hobbs Is Willing To Let Them Have 24 Hours Before Their Car And Mouse Chase Continues...

Oh, Wait I Think I Know What Happens Next...

Hobbs Realizes That Dom's A Good Man, Which Forces Him To Question His Ideals To The Point Of Suicide, Right?

Well, There Are So Many Les Mis-isms In This Movie That I Wouldn't Be Surprised...

No, Hobbs Sadly Does Not Die (Otherwise How Would We Have A Spinoff In Theaters Now) No, Instead Turns Out The Safe Is Empty And They Have The Cash...

Well, Turns Out That When They Had A 10 Second Window They Had Giselle, Leo And Rico Switch The Safe With The Money With The Empty Safe They Had...

And So, With The Money In They're Hands (Once Tej Opens The Safe) They All Go Their Separate Ways, With Dom Giving Vince's Wife, Rosa A Cut Of The Money Along With A Note Saying See You Soon, Uncle Dom..

As For Everyone, Leo And Rico Play It Up In Monaco Where We Never See Them Again, Tej Opens Up A Legitimate Garage Buisness With Him And Roman Hanging Out Every Once In A While, Han Didn't Get Just The Money But Giselle As Well...

Eat Your Heart Out, Steve Trevor!

Yep, They're Dating And They're Headed Off To Berlin Until We See Them In The Next Movie But As For Dom, Brian And Mia They're Somewhere On A Beach (And Don't Ask Where Because Even I Don't Know) All I Can Say Is That Mia Is Glowing With Her Pregnancy, Dom Is Dating Neves To Which He Should Watch Out For Falling Thunder Gods With Hammers That Shoot Lightning And Brian Wants Another Shot At Beating Dom...

I Would Say This Ends Our Film But We Get A Mid Credit Scene Where Monica Fuentes (Played Again By Eva Mendes) Drops By Hobbs Office In Washington, As A Team Of Drivers Hijacked A Military Convoy But Hobbs Isn't Interested Unless It's Dom But With Fuentes Saying To Look Deeper, Hobbs Makes A Discovery...

(Start At 1:00, End At 1:04)

And That's Fast Five And It's Okay...

While Not As Good As The Last Film, This One Has It's Moments The Story While Boring At The Beginning Catches Up Around The Middle Of It, The Characters Except For The Bad Guy Are Good, The Cars Weren't Very Impressive But At This Point They Were Changing Their Status Quo From Being A Series Of Street Racing Films To A Series Of Heist Films, Sort Of Like Oceans 11 With Cars But Still, It's A Film Worth A Watch And I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...