#and our concept of what is valuable to us now will not necessarily remain valuable to future generations

[sezjackvo]

It is, yes. Though you raise two interesting points I’ve seen a lot in these discussions about Michaela and Francesca: the fertility storyline and catering to book fans.

We’ll go with the fans first because that’s a quick, easy answer. They’re catering to a wider audience now. Bridgerton is an international sensation and there are more than just straight white people in the world. It makes sense that the stories would adapt to accomodate this greater diversity to include that wider audience and rake in that cash.

For the fertility storyline, there are two parts to this concept: genre and the value of the story. Bridgerton at its heart is a harlequin romance. These stories are about the rush of falling in love, not necessarily about what happens afterwards. Gender swapping Michaela doesn’t affect their journey to falling in love so our genre and our story is intact. That said, it is also a feature of this series that we catch glimpses into the lives of our past heroes to see they’re doing well.

This brings us to the value of that infertility storyline. Having friends who struggled with infertility and seeing their constant disappointment and stress, wondering what was wrong and spending thousands of dollars trying to find a solution… It is a heart-wrenching, highly relatable story for so many couples the world over. To have such a story be central in a piece of mainstream media would do wonders to normalising something that can feel shameful for many. I can see how that story is deeply personal for many who have read the books. Having Michaela gender-swapped takes that away, and that’s upsetting because of how valuable that story is to the people who need it.

It’s not the same, but the story we potentially have now is one where these two women cannot have children full-stop. Even if they desperately want one, they cannot have one without male intervention or adoption, and, in a world ruled by inheritance laws, adoption isn’t exactly a viable option. This changes their relationship dynamic from being “what is wrong with us that we cannot conceive?” to “because I love you, I can never have children of my own”. That’s a big ouch. That’s a big trade. It’s relatable and valuable to a very different audience, and it’s also a story we don’t get to see very often.

It is different from what book fans expected, but this is always the case with screen adaptations, and it always will be. Albeit this is a bigger change than usual, a trade has been made and now we have to trust the writers have done their work and it was worth the cost.

At the end of the day, there is simply a choice: accept it is different and lean into the new adventure knowing it is not what you expected but remaining hopeful for a good story, or resist and miss what joy you might have had had you simply just watched the show for what it is: stories about people falling in love in the most dramatic fashion possible.

Don’t you see? This is so much better than “Oh shit, my husband is dead and his cousin is hot.” Now it’s “Oh shit, I grew up in a society that only values one form of relationship because a woman’s only purpose in life is to make heirs and my family are all ravenously taken by this idea of love that I’ve never understood and I feel broken because I just don’t get it so I resigned myself to just being content with a man who loves me but *oh shit* my husbands cousin is hot and I don’t understand and I don’t know what to do about that.”

[kath-artic]

moar

since im on the topic i wanna play around in this space a little more

growing up i was a very private person. sure, my best friends knew about problems at home and my struggles with mental health, but i never talked to them about the things i cared about or the people i liked. love was such a valuable thing that to talk about it frivolously seemed sinful and just downright disrespectful to the concept. it had to be protected. this is unfortunately why i stayed in my first relationship for so long. i foolishly thought that i was somehow about infatuation and frivolous love. i thought id know it when i found it and that id never let it go, so i couldnt just admit id made a mistake. regardless, friendships to me were always about being too in the moment to care about anything else. friendship was about silent understanding and play. most of my high school friends were like this. we never talked about our lives outside of school save for one or two times, but we all knew we were all going through something so we'd all keep each other busy all night. we wouldnt leave the school until the janitors kicked us out and then we'd wander the town. every now and then someone would break down and cry and we'd sit there and hold each other, but talking about it hardly seemed necessary at that time. it wasnt until the dam broke for me at the end of my senior year that i started really opening up about stuff. that was my brief Therapy phase. i became obsessed with talking about the trauma id gone through and didnt know how to be someone outside of it for a while, but that was a horrible person to be for me. i feel bad for her and it was important that i was her for a time, but im glad im not anymore. she taught me how to be open, but every time i opened up i exploded and it never felt all that fulfilling. in fact, i found that me "trauma dumping" was just me trying to answer everyones questions before they started prying so theyd think i had nothing to hide. i was afraid of people knowing me at that time. what's more, the concept of meeting new people was exhausting at that time because to know me at that time was to know what id been through and it was hard having to go through it again and again.

leaving fixed me. ive said it before but it remains true. ive realized i love a blank slate and ive realized that knowing me is an innate quality some people do or dont possess in varying degrees. ive realized my story is mine and that i generally like being private because i really only like sharing when i think i'll be understood or when i think it's necessary to expose people to new possibilities. i like knowing lots of people, i like knowing them deeply and intimately, but not necessarily constantly. i dont want people to run dry by dumping all their is to know at my feet at once, which is why i think space is so necessary for me. old friends reaching out is such a joy because theyre a new person at this point! new friends are such a joy because they tend to feel as though theyre old friends! i just like for my circle to be full of as many people who are distinctly themselves as possible and i like to learn something. i know sometimes i have to be the teacher, but i vastly prefer equal exchanges. there are few people i never grow tired of, but they tend to also be the ones who think similarly and likewise go off on their own from time to time. we maintain a healthy distance even though we could just as easily talk forever and ever and never grow bored. i think thats the kind of relationship i can have only one of at a time and its something i reserve for romatic partners. a romantic partner is someone who is eternally interesting. someone i can be close to and still find more new things about. i still like to have space, but the closeness wouldnt make me squirm. we could talk forvever and ever and maybe we just will. idk. but there it is

[mx-metronome]

Hello, skyblr! Finally coming out and sharing my ideas/theories for Sky! This post is INSANELY long, but I hope you’ll stick around for the entire deal! Spoilers under the cut, just to warn you! (also I refer to the elders by the names given to them by the skyblr community)

tl;dr: It’s suggested even by TGC’s concept art that each of the realms represents a stage of life. I’m gonna take it a step further and say that not only is that true to the individual, but also the civilization pictured throughout the game.

 We’ll start from the beginning of the game and establish some evidence as we go.

Part the First: The Isle of Dawn

Birth. Nascence. The first establishment of existence. The Isle of Dawn is aptly named, being the first point of contact of the people that fell from the stars. They came on ships of stone, riding the newborn winds into this uncharted land, hoping to eventually settle. Pictures drawn of light can be seen carved out of the walls, a primitive method of documentation akin to cave paintings in the earliest times of our own society.

Remnants of the ships can still be found throughout a number of the lands, but especially so here, buried in the sands. The spirits that can be found here are identified as voyagers and stargazers - sailors making land for the very first time.

The elder of the Isle, Daleth, carries a cane, which is significant enough to make up the isle’s constellation. Perhaps they are like a shepherd, guiding the people to their new beginnings. Perhaps the cane just looks really, really cool.

The emotes learned here are directional, like pointing and following.

Part the Second: The Daylight Prairie

They locate the prairie, which signifies childhood. The flowers and the butterflies of light are in abundance here, symbolizing the purity and innocence of youth  still untouched by society.

Here, the society is still in its infancy. The people see the untapped potential in this land, and they begin to plant their roots. Any notable settlements are still small and scattered, but supply lines are quickly established via boats carrying large pots across the clouds. The pots seem to be full of light, a valuable resource that several spirits here can be seen gathering and transporting.

The elder of the Prairie, Ayin, is also pictured as a worker of some kind, and they are depicted with a pot of light, hence the constellation’s shape. The transporting of light is critical to the continued development of the civilization.

The emotes learned here are very basic (like learning to wave hello) or childlike (like charming butterflies or laughing), among a few others.

Part the Third: The Hidden Forest

The forest is a symbol of adolescence: it’s a seeking of identity and all the growing pains it entails.

This light painting (the last one the can be found in the game’s progression [I think], another sign of the advancement of this people) shows the population carrying themselves deeper into areas of richer resources to further expand. And expand they do!

Their structures grow larger and more sturdy. Additionally, the doors through each wall are made of iron and small crystals of....blue light? A similar blue to that of the strange plants that can be seen growing everywhere. These plants of darkness seem to be appearing in larger numbers now: there were zero in the Isle of Dawn, and few enough in the Daylight Prairie that they’re easy to miss. Here they’re not rampant, but they are starting to command attention.

The darkness isn’t necessarily an absence of light, but rather an antithesis to light: the two are opposites but equally powerful in their own unique ways, and both can be seen in the forests’ constructions. There is also some evidence that darkness literally spreads through negative emotions such as hopelessness and sadness, as shown in the memories of the Tearful Light Miner:

While their crew is mining, there’s a cave-in, and all of their friends are injured by the falling rocks. One friend survives the initial collapse, but they are mortally wounded by the affair. This scene here could be their friend resigning to their unavoidable death, and their hopelessness manifests itself as a darkness plant growing out of them. A small detail which is only symbolically important, but tucks itself into the meta quite nicely later.

Returning to the story, the big theme here in the forest is industrialization. Lumberjacks, miners, prospectors, and pioneers can all be found here, striking their claim on this new soil and its resources aplenty. Structures are larger and more numerous, but at the cost of deforestation and putting a lot of holes in the cliffs for mining. Butterflies are not as common now, so alternative sources of light had to be found (more discussion about the harvesting of light from the light creatures can be found here in this post, and it’s this post that in fact inspired this entire post of my own).

Both light and darkness are being harvested from the earth (and possibly even synthesized, if the negative emotions becoming dark plants is taken literally) and fashioned into tools and machinery. The elder of the Forest, Teth, is a blacksmith, and the constellation is a hammer and anvil, a testament to the people’s industrial revolution. Their temple itself is a massive piece of machinery, an impressive feat of engineering only indicative of a civilization accelerating its growth and advancing towards a golden age.

Coincidentally, this oncoming of darkness is also reflected in the emotes learned here, such as apologetic, anger, worry, and crying.

Part the Fourth: The Valley of Triumph

The Valley of Triumph symbolizes young adulthood and is the pinnacle of this society’s achievements. Buildings and structures here are HUGE: entire cities, castles, and the technological advancements are like nothing anyone’s ever seen.

Here the populace has put less focus into expansion and more into the development of its culture. The architecture is much more colorful and stylized. Sporting events such as the races down the slopes or through the clouds are means of entertainment. The citadel’s orrery could indicate a deep understanding of astronomy and mathematics. 

There are twin elders in the Valley: Sah and Mek, and they’re athletes! Whatever sport it is they play involves the use of long sticks, and it’s their two crossed sticks that make up the constellation, emphasizing the establishment of life’s greater pleasures and a thriving culture. A lot of the spirits found here are either athletic in some capacity or are out here living their best life.

The emotes learned here are of pride and athletic ability. Cheering is also noteworthy here, as happiness and enjoyment are highlighted in this realm.

The most curious part of this realm is that there are no darkness plants to be found, and I think the reason for that is that the populace is so swept up in its shows and studies that it’s distracted from its inevitable collapse that will soon follow. Perhaps these people don’t realize what is coming. So what is coming?

Part the Fifth: The Golden Wasteland

The Golden Wasteland symbolizes late adulthood, maybe even a sort of midlife crisis. It’s in this stage that the society begins to break down. The reasons for the upheaval are part of the game’s unsolved mystery, but there are some details of note to be highlighted in this realm.

The structures here are the biggest we’d seen so far, and many of them are a lot like strongholds: Huge, thick walls; pipes of awesome size; and what used to be giant columns dot the sandy wastes. The water is polluted beyond purification; bones of large, long dead creatures are scattered across a hunting ground; and not only are darkness plants in abundance here, but an entirely new embodiment of darkness is also introduced: the krill. 

Krill are a curious creature: not much, if anything, is known about their origins, but their presence as active seekers and destroyers of light could symbolize war and hatred, as an angry or upset individual would try to drag down others from feelings of happiness to the alternative. It is easier to succumb to the darkness and fall from light than it is to climb back out, and it appears that’s what this civilization has done.

In their pride and vanity, political disagreement had sprung into full-scale battles and skirmishes. Barricades pepper the land, especially just outside the temple. The people resorted to weaponizing darkness and blotted out light altogether (notice how fewer candles can be found here than in other realms). The world drowned in despair which only spread the darkness faster. It was like a nuke that left fear and anger in its wake with no chance for light to flourish again. All that remains now are the skeletons of stone and bone, memories of a dying people.

The elder here, Tsadi, is a warrior of renown strength, proficient with the constellation’s shape: a spear and shield. They likely fought along the barricades just outside the gates, desperate to protect any survivors that made it inside.

The spirits here are fighters, survivors, people that are struggling to stay alive in the chaos, and their emotes match that. 

So, after this civilization burned itself to the ground, what remained?

Part the Sixth: The Vault of Knowledge

The Vault of Knowledge symbolizes old age. With no more strength and no more people, all that remains is the collection of knowledge they had accumulated throughout their history, from the Isle to the Wasteland, and any lessons that could be learned from it all.

The realm itself is one giant structure: a tall tower packed to the brim with knowledge stored as light. Light is in abundance here: it fills the room as you climb it, and memories of mantas and other light creatures dwell within here as well. There are little bits of buildings, floating platforms, and large skeletons on display, almost like a museum of the world that once was. 

The elder here is Lamed, and the Vault’s constellation resembles a codex: one of the many lanterns found throughout the vault where texts are kept. In their cutscene, they appear tired and hopeless. The Vault is all that’s left between the source of the darkness and the rest of the world.

Scholarly spirits walked the halls and recorded as much history as they could before they too were wiped out by the impending darkness, vainly hoping that their mark on the world would be left behind in the stories they told so that they might not be forgotten. The emotes learned here are of praying and meditation, strongly suggesting the theme of pausing and reflecting on all that had transpired.

It is here that your journey begins to come to an end as you reflect on the realms that you’ve seen and the people you watched rise and fall. They weren’t forgotten because you witnessed it all. They succeeded, in a way.

The Vault of Knowledge is unique in that at the top of the level, not just one elder statue sits, but all SIX are there. This realm isn’t a part of the society’s story: it IS the story. 

As you progress through the level, the constellations are revealed to you, one by one.

In the cutscene where all six elders bow to you and thank you for guiding the spirits home, a song plays. What’s the official title of that song in the soundtrack?

“The Story So Far.”

Lamed and the other elders told you their story. About the rise and fall of their people, blinded by ambition and by a thirst for both light and darkness. In their attempt to balance the two powers, darkness ultimately won, and now no one remains.

Only a vault. The room of six statues is a new addition, as they all seem cleanly cut and without any wear. They were built intentionally, shortly before the darkness destroyed everyone, as a means to tell that story to whomever may find them.

This was the old room. Where Lamed’s statue once stood is now an empty pedestal. The light is now gone, and the soft blues and blacks of the rest of the level are now a dark, dull gray. The only decent source of light is from the occasional flashes of lightning from the storm beyond. The rest of the Vault was sealed off to protect its contents and its people who all died within, leaving this top chamber to be consumed.

Finale: The Eye of Eden

The most mysterious of the seven realms, Eden symbolizes death, an inevitability for all. I don’t have a lot to go off of for this part, but the red diamond that rests at the top of the mountain seems to be neither light nor darkness. It’s emitting a ray of golden light up to the heavens, but it’s also showering the mountain in a dark storm of rocks. So, which is it?

The scene shown from the Vault cutscene depicts the mountain with the diamond at the top. There also sits a monarch of some kind underneath it. Is this king the one that weaponized darkness and brought the fall of his people? There’s a lot of speculation behind this one.

I believe the diamond is death itself. Death is the most powerful tool a king can have, for there’s no threat to your power if all your competition is in the ground. But a warmonger invites violence to his doorstep, and he and all his people perished as a result.

But the diamond itself is not to be feared. Yes, it’s spouting darkness across the land, and that’s all a mortal will ever see. But on the other side of that dark storm is the beam of pure light shooting into the heavens, something only the deceased will embrace and understand. Death is an ending. Death is a release.

The spirits all needed a little light to find their way to that other side. So you lit them with your candle. You taught them how to feel love and happiness again, something that widespread darkness took from them. 

And when you fell and collapsed under the darkness yourself, some other sky kid came along and granted you their winged light so you may pass on too.

And you and the spirits, now freed from the suffering of darkness by way of just a taste of light, returned to the stars from whence you came.

....Uhh, the end? That’s my super hot take? Add to it if you like?

[carryon-countdown]

MLM/Trans Rep Issues: a conversation

Hello everyone!

As was announced to the public in this post, we’ve noticed some voices of discontent from mlm/trans people in this fandom. We’ve spent the past week talking to many mlm/trans people in this fandom, to listen to what has likely been hurting them/making them uncomfortable. Our goal here was to educate ourselves on views that we’d been overlooking and to have a conversation about how to move forward.

We’re glad to say that every person who reached out to us was very patient and informative, so now we’re able to share what we’ve learned with our followers and the rest of the fandom. What makes everything a bit more complicated, however, is that it became clear quite quickly that not every mlm/trans person experiences these issues the same way. Most people we talked to had their very own way of viewing things, and we, as admins, think that each individual view had something valuable to say. There’s not a very clear right or wrong here, so we’re going to ask everyone not to approach these issues like there’s a definitive right or wrong.

What we’re going to do instead is explain the different views, in hope that it will educate many of you who’d had a blindspot to these issues. And then it’ll be up to each individual person to self-reflect and decide what you think is important. Once again, there doesn’t seem to be a definitive right or wrong, so we think the best we can do is make sure everyone has as much information to make their own choices with.

Fetishizing

One of the main issues that was brought to our attention is the fetishisation of mlm ships (in this fandom’s case mainly snowbaz). Some people we talked to said they came across this quite a lot, others felt like it happened here and there, and others said it happened so little that they had never been able to come up with an example of this within the fandom. So that already gives everyone an idea of what we mean by people seeming to have very different experiences.

What it means to use a ship for fetishisation is that you interact with the ship in a way that is purely focussed on the “hotness”/aesthetic of the ship, instead of focussing on the actual dynamic of this ship. This turns the ship into something more like an object of your fantasies, instead of seeing it as a representation of something real.

Everyone we talked to agreed that fetisising is wrong/hurtful. There were, however, more divided opinions on where the lines lie between content that is and isn’t rooted in fetishisation. Some views are more quickly to label a piece of smut that’s just straight up porn, with a strong focus on the “sexiness” of it all, as a piece rooted in fetishisation, while others think it’s more okay to have smut like this because wanting to celebrate a ship that you love having a bit of sexy-time can definitely come from a place of loving the ship for who they are rather than a objectifying sexual fantasy standpoint.

This shows that the whole concept of judging whether a piece of fan content is fetishising the ship isn’t something that’s just black and white. Something that is easier to judge, though, is yourself and where your love for the ship/certain pieces of content comes from.

We do thus strongly encourage you to take a look at yourself and the way you interact with the ships and content in this fandom. It’s good to ask yourself what your intentions are when creating/sharing any content relating to these ships, and to question whether you might be fetishising. We hope everyone will refrain from engaging with this ship from a fetisising standpoint. It’s often not something that happens to intent harm, but it is something that makes people who are actually represented within the ship highly uncomfortable and upset. It’s not a form of support to any sexuality/type of relationship that might be represented in the ship.

(Note: please don’t instantly write off the idea that you might be fetishising because you, for example, aren’t even attracted to men, because that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t look at a mlm ship in an objectifying way. Please, just, absolutely everyone, take an honest look at your view towards the ships in this fandom, and try to see if there’s instances where you are fetishising these ships.)

Genderbending

Genderbending/genderswap was the other main topic of the conversations we’ve had with mlm/trans people. Genderbending is simply put: changing the genders from one or more of the characters present in your work, to a gender that’s not their canon gender. In our fandom we mostly see this trope used on snowbaz, thus having them become fem!snowbaz.

A big critique for genderbending is that, very often, with genderbending the appearance/physical features of the character is what changes, and thus “that changes the gender”, which is a way of viewing gender that completely excludes the experience of trans/nb people. In the case of snowbaz, this means that Simon and Baz remain the same, but suddenly they have boobs and more feminine features, so that must mean they’re now women. While really, if you want to represent snowbaz with more feminine features, it doesn’t instantly have to mean that they’re now women, and being a woman doesn’t mean you need any kind of feminine features. It basically treats sex and gender the same, when they’re not. Genderbending also often treats gender like it’s binary, which it isn’t. For a bunch of the trans people we talked to, this is something that they consider quite harmful, not only to themselves but also to the way it inspires you to look at the concept of gender.

Besides that, there are times where genderbending gets used to explore a certain concept, such as: having one of the characters able to become pregnant, when really you can also avoid using genderbending here by using a trans headcanon/au for such a thing. The idea that the only way for you to explore these concepts with a mlm ship is having them turn into cis women comes across as both excluding the mlm and trans experience. So there are trans people who prefer if you use a trans au or trans headcanon instead of genderbending in these cases (here it is also preferred that you then have a trans person look at your work before you post it!). With this we do also want to note that not necessarily everyone trans person we spoke to experience trans au/hcs as something positive, and actually actively avoid them.

Now that we’ve spoken about the views against genderbending, there are still other trans people we talked to who don’t have an issue with genderbending. Their views on it with snowbaz are that when you have a ship that canonically consists of two cis men, it makes sense that people would have them be cis women when applying genderbending. (Also, not always everyone makes them cis women when doing a genderbend). The people that didn’t see an issue with genderbending generally came from the standpoint that people’s intentions behind genderbending are completely innocent and not done with the thought in mind that sex=gender, and that is enough for them to not feel hurt by it.

A thing that was also brought up here is that genderbending in this fandom is often used by wlw people to find a way to represent/express themselves in a fandom they love. The people who are in favor of genderbending see this as a very valid reason to keep genderbending around. If it has a positive influence on someone, and isn’t done with the idea in mind that sex and gender are the same, they don’t see why genderbending should be seen as a bad thing.

With this we also want to note that not all wlw are the biggest fan of genderbending. There’s definitely plenty that use fem!snowbaz as a way to see themselves represented, and for them it’s a very positive thing. There are, however, also wlw around who’ve spoken up against it. They see turning a mlm into a wlw ship by genderbending as a very objectifying way to look at a wlw couple. They don’t consider a mlm that now looks like wlw actual wlw representation. They often feel like it comes across very feishising and it makes them uncomfortable. So saying that it’s something positive for all wlw in this fandom is definitely an incorrect way of looking at it, but it is still also a positive thing for quite a number of them.

This shows how polarising the concept of genderbending is, and it’s really not in our interest to tell you what side to pick. We hope that you take in these views and use them to educate yourself on the topic. We hope you put in the effort to understand the different takes on it and then decide where you land. We want to at least make sure that your decisions around genderbending don’t come from a place of ignorance.

We also want to ask everyone to always tag genderbending if you do decide to post anything with genderbending. This way the people who are really hurt by it can at least avoid having to see it by blacklisting it.

This about sums up what we’ve been talking about with the people who reached out to us. We really hope everyone will use this to open their minds to different views on these topics. Since everyone's opinions on these topics seem influenced by personal views and experiences, we really cannot ask you to decide for others what’s right and wrong, and so we ask you to reflect on yourself and your own views instead.

We really want to thank @nonbaznary, @krisrix and others who will remain anonymous for taking part in this conversation! You were all super helpful and patient!

Both @nonbaznary and @krisrix told us that they were open to talk to people who still have questions surrounding these topics. Both of them represent different views, and thus will be able to give you different answers. (Please, if you decide to contact them, be kind to them and actually make an effort to listen to them. They’ve been nothing but helpful in all of this. Treat them well, this is something that can take a lot of energy out of a person)

@nonbaznary also mentioned that if anyone is ever looking for a trans person to look at your work before you post it, they’d be open to doing that for you, so you can contact them for that as well.  

We hope that the actions that were taken here will help everyone feel a little more at home in this fandom, even though the solution is such a vague one.

Much love, The admins of the Carry On Countdown of 2020

[skinfeeler]

you may notice so-called progressive members of religions (including those which are minority religions in ‘the west’) spend much more time on critics of religion than conservatives in their own circles. sentiments such as “X discussion belongs within the community” might clue us in as on why, but allow me to proffer a red thread that i believe i have identified throughout all of this.

it is, obviously, true that critique of religion often constitutes or is a vehicle for assorted bigotries. a certain vigilance can be understandable and i advocate among my peers to not let us become callous of the very real dangers that members of certain ethnic and cultural groups (however one might understand these) face, even people marginalised in and by such religious communities. this is then, in fact, the crux of my project: the acknowledgment that say, ex-muslims aren’t really helped by islamophobia given the fact that it’s not like they’re going to get support from those people peddling it, which is exactly why it’s so tragic that many of them feel there’s no place for them on the left, because so many people on the left refuse to acknowledge that even though islamophobia is well, extant, it’s not like people stuck in certain spheres (among which gay and trans people, women, and all children) are impervious from being harmed just because larger society might not be accepting of those who level that harm unto them. this much then is important: to do right by everyone who must be done right by in whatever way and to leave people’s dignity intact, and to do so in such a way that cannot be co-opted by white supremacists and the like— the most important way to do this is to attack the concept of parental authority, which (culturally) christian conservatives will never accept but will resolve basically all problems that result from the shape of religion as a non-elective membership propagated through the family (as structured by clergy etc etc, whatever).

inoffensive as this clause should be to anyone who claims to be part of the left — which must fundamentally oppose the family for either marxist reasons per engels or for other reasons — even anti-theism which very clearly takes this form is mistaken, usually on purpose, by many religious apologists, to be something it’s not. one of those things that get invoked is the very real white supremacism and imperialist thought that is too endemic in our circles. i’ll admit to tendencies herein appearing from time to time — including in myself, at times, regrettably — but i also insist that a large part of this is simply the fact that while religious people enjoy the benefits of community and avenues for discussion and review, many of us do not: all we have at this stage, sadly, is the diatribes of new atheists who consider christendom an important ‘bulwark’ to protect the ‘occident’ who are useless to anything but an insipid culture war. mistakes are going to be made, and i think some small leeway should be allowed those most ambitious of us who still have a clear and provable dedication to justice and equity (and this is in fact the point of any useful notion of freedom of speech), especially since what we currently have works for nobody except those who want first and foremost to remain comfortable— which is exactly what i believe describes so many anti-anti-theists, but we do in fact need an alternative.

it’s not easy to be leftist and religious and my heart goes out to those who try, even if i don’t ultimately think that where they are heading will allow them to keep their principles coherent and intact: members of one’s congregation and one’s spiritual leaders may tacitly condone or endorse ethnic cleansing in the levant, assorted infant genital maiming rituals, reifications of gender that only those least abject to it can find peace with (consider the humble theyfab), the imperative and exaltation of procreation, to name a few possibilities, which one then is implicitly required to respect in order to remain part of such communities, and i understand the struggle of wanting to be or remain part of those and to have to tangle with that. what i don’t understand then, though, is the abhorrence of people outside such circles who perform critique of the like: i simply do not agree with the fact that certain discussions should stay within the community and they should be well left alone in literally every way with no demands made given the fact that certain members in those communities who this harm is visited upon and whose membership isn’t elective (including all children) do not have voice or agency in those discussions — they deserve support and solidarity across cultural lines, especially as it’s apostates from so many religions who helped me survive and i will owe this to them forever — let alone those in the outgroup who fall victim to the real geopolitical consequences of the substance of certain positions that proliferate in some of these communities, as is now more relevant than ever. this latter aspect is obvious to even the progressive religious apologist, however… at least those conservatives, both inside the congregation and in much more conservative movements don’t threaten what they perceive to be the faith.

an instantiation of this which i will see even most progressive religious people abhor is the notion that any religion is tied, inherently, to not just a nation, but a state. and so they can quibble with their zionist peers and spiritual leaders on this, because both of them have one thing in common: the idea that even if one’s religion/culture is not most meaningfully embodied through state, it is through family, and the criticism of the conservative that the progressive has is not that they are wrong, but merely inauthentic and clinging to something unnecessary, but they are not. i vehemently disagree: the nature of most organised religions has changed through both necessity and acknowledged moral imperative. why can a religion which doesn’t transmit through the family (one of only adult converts perhaps) be envisioned— which in turn wouldn’t depend so heavily on the reification of bodies and family immanent in the aforementioned (a conclusion worth stressing on its own)? if you ask me, it’s a matter of a lack of courage borne from a lack of understanding of history— one may want to read doubt: a history by jennifer michael hecht who is considered jewish according to halakha (for however much that fucking means) who speaks on what the german jews in the 19th century, understanding that they could either stay stuck in the present (and thus have their worldview eventually become as farcical as those who believed that recreating the temple era of judaism was either viable or desirable in any histiographical or theological sense as a result of you know, history historying) or establish those principles which they believed were actually important that could be passed on regardless of how judaism was envisioned before. their work, however hegelian in nature, produced some of the greatest minds even among their apostates, including theodor adorno. turns out that even when people become philosophers rather than rabbis (or ministers, or imams, or gurus), they have plenty to offer, there is wisdom and value in exalting sagehood above the pulpit and how the pulpit must always lay down the law for the mechanisms of familial transmission.

consider second, the ancient greeks: the ancient greeks no longer possess the structures required to exercise their worldviews and theodicies as a bloc (in diaspora or otherwise). regardless, many of their concepts and wisdoms persist in various cultures literally all across the worlds, including mine: their strands of cultural dna have germinated in a larger cosmopolitan phenotype, and i believe this is beautiful and worthwhile in its own right, and in no way whatsoever a loss. sure, their influence might not be recognisable as an enduring culture, but does that make it any less valuable? no, not in the slightest. the fact is, once you are on the other side this is the most normal thing in the world, nobody will mourn it, and everyone who wishes to return will be easily dismissed as entertaining a fantasy. the only way to forestall this is in fact a tautological clinging to the present which will necessarily through the course of history become an immanence of reaction, after all, the prime fallacy of reactionary thought is that it is in fact possible to recreate the past, which is plainly not true except perhaps for aesthetic but which will regardless necessarily be rooted in the current conditions of the world. all that forestalling this progression constitutes is the insistence on the completely artificial. much like the workings of the state are one that imposes a false reality, a phantasm, a reification onto the world, so with family, and literally the moment you stop propping it up it will be superceded. let me repeat that: supercession is inevitable, and the most sophisticated elements of any culture acknowledge this and have for literal centuries (although some cultures are ahead of others in this regard by-and-large). for every generation of a culture persisting as itself, apostates and deviants emerge and at this rate they have done more for the progress within any cultural body than will ever happen within such cultural bodies, which must begrudgingly acknowledge that they are dependent on modernity in order to make any progress at all (and as such, will wither away together with modernity), although of course they will deny this at any front— the adaptation of any covenant is desperately contingent on integration and naturalisation of the apostate and the ‘modern’, or at least her wisdom , which the embodied religious individual will then, of course, pretend to practisee more ‘maturely’ than the apostate because they insist on integrating it in a neutered fashion where it is stripped of future potential of development until the next steal comes along, which is better than fully embodied anti-atheism as the ever-sublating struggle against entropy, for some fucking reason.

this is the promise of ‘externality’ that foucault dreamt of: that there is a way of thinking ‘outside the box’ that allows us to once and for all dispel and move on from the ways of thinking that we cannot think outside of. derrida then disputed him by arguing that there is no outside context. derrida is right— regardless, i remain optimistic: perhaps this cosmopolitan neotenous emergence is a culture in itself, but it is as divergent from what came before as christianity is to judaism, and islam to both christianity and judaism. all it takes is courage, and once the leap of faith has been made, this state of affairs will be the most normal thing in the world. in light of this, the claim that anticlericalism is simply an outwash of christendom becomes obviously farcical and a clear double standard when one considers in juxtaposition their insistence that christianity is divergent from what came before, even though in both cases (christendom versus judaism, anticlericalism versus christendom) perhaps some commonality in language exists and perhaps some people exist who have not managed to estrange themselves from the trappings of christian thought— not to mention the worldwide history of anticlericalism that is yet to be integrated which exists exactly because clericalism necessarily has the same structure and function across all religions. join me in this supercessionist bliss, reject the idea that chronology of thought implies that successors are one and the same as what they draw upon or co-opt, and help usher in the only future world worth conceiving of, resting easy and comfortable in the truthful rejection of the notion that any culture needs to cling to the notion of familial transmission to have any worth at all or that its existence as such is inevitable. the complete and utter nullification of familial logic will happen regardless of whether you want it or not anyway, because it is as artificial as the logic of nation and state and likewise unsustainable and on its death march— this is the one and final eschatology of this world which is not a threat, but a promise, since it will (and can) not be the result so much of repression but of religion collapsing under its own weight, and this much is only uncomfortable to those who are disciples to the family regardless of whether they admit it to themselves or not.

[mnthpprt]

Chapter 24: Blame It On The Juice

We finally arrive at the tavern and take a seat at a small table near the bar. Arthur is the only one to remain standing up, and he leans closer so I can hear him over the chatter.

“First round’s on me, darling. What would you like?” he asks. I ponder for a moment before answering.

“I’ve always wanted to try absinthe.” He nods, and looks over at Theo.

“Whiskey for me, half water.”

A few minutes later he returns, balancing three glasses between his hands, and proceeds to set them down on the table, careful not to spill any of them. Outside, it has begun to pour like there’s no tomorrow.

“Pernod Fils for the lady,” he says, imitating a waiter, “and whiskey for the ratbag.” Theo punches his arm, scowling, and sips his drink, making me laugh. Judging by the amount of teasing and insults between these two, they could either be good friends or truly hate each other. I know it is the former, because they seem to spend a lot of time together. They even walk their dogs at the same time every morning, and they do so willingly.

I take a small sip of the pearly green liquid, and am surprised by the sweet taste of anise and fennel in the drink.

“Yo, this is good,” I point out, satisfied. I lift my glass when I notice Arthur doing the same, and Theo begrudgingly joins in.

“To the green fairy, may she bless our dear Anaïs for the first time!” toasts the writer, holding back a laugh. I follow in with my own comedic announcement.

“To the Salon des Refusés du Salon des Refusés!” I say, jokingly, referring to Theo’s exhibition. The groundbreaking art I saw there would have been criticized even by the rejects of this time. “And to your and Vincent’s success, of course!”

“That, I can get behind,” Theo chuckles. “To you idiots.” He punctuates his covertly affectionate statement by taking a gulp of whisky, and Arthur and I follow suit. “So, hondje, you know about art. What is it like in your time?”

I am taken aback by the question. I don’t really know where to begin.

“Well... For starters, it’s incredibly different. To understand it one needs to know the history behind it, you know? Like, what happened between now and then for it to get to that point,” I explain, pausing to take another sip of absinthe. Theo leans forward on his chair, his blue eyes piercing me with interest. “I guess the main movement that started everything would be Dadaism. Do you know about World War One?” Theo shakes his head.

“One? By Jove, there are more?!” Arthur exclaims. I nod, my brows knitted together. If he lived through the first one, the Great War, I am concerned about how he might react if I continue. He seems to want to know more, so I keep talking.

“Arthur, if I remember correctly you died a few years before the second one. What was it, 1920 something?”

“1930,” he corrects me.

“Well, the Second World War started in 1939. It lasted for about six years, and it was brutal. But that’s not the point of this conversation.” I turn to Theo. “So, as you can tell by the name, the First World War was, well... massive. Pretty much all of Europe was involved and severely affected, both by the unprecedented death toll and the poverty that came after. People suffered while the rich clung to what they had, and the art world became increasingly inaccessible. You’ve seen yourself how conservative the elite can be when it comes to their precious culture.” He agrees with a nod. “So a movement emerged in response to this traditionalism, which some artists deemed unacceptable in a world where all of the rules had seemingly been broken already, and devastatingly so. I don’t know where the name came from, but Dadaism represents all the nonsense, everything that is irrational and ugly and primal. What these people were making was basically anti-art. Instead of it being aesthetically pleasing, their work strived to create a reaction in the viewer, to make them think.” I pause to drink again, and glance at Arthur. He knows what I’m talking about, he lived through it.

“And what does it look like?” Theo asks. I laugh.

“Oof, good question. It can look like anything, from sculptures made of random objects piled together to drawings and prints... More than anything, Dadaism was a concept, an ideology. It established that art should be reactionary, and not necessarily for the pleasure of the viewer. This became the basis for what in my time we call ‘conceptual art’, which is basically anything that makes a statement without it being explicit in the piece.”

“Like a riddle?” Arthur asks. He has already finished his glass of whisky.

“Something like that,” I chuckle. “But not always. One of the most outrageous ones I can remember is this man, Piero Manzoni. In the 60s... the 1960s, that is, he produced a series of cans labeled as ‘Artist’s Shit’, supposedly filled with... well, his own shit. It was meant as a critique of the art world at the time.” Theo’s eyes widen, and I hear Arthur let out a boisterous laugh. “Apparently one of his friends said that they were actually filled with plaster, but no one really knows for sure, because they’re too valuable to be opened. I think one of them was auctioned for like 300.000 euros.”

“Euros?” Theo asks after sipping his whisky, trying to recover from the surprise.

“Oh, right, that’s a new thing,” I remember. “So after that Second World War I mentioned before, a bunch of countries in Europe created a coalition, to protect the peace, and all that. And then, around the time I was born, it became a proper union and they changed the money, so we all use euros now. Well, then. Then?” I take a big sip of absinthe and savor it for a moment, frustrated with my own tangled words. “Ugh, time travel is so confusing. Anyway, one of those cans is worth, like, 100 million francs in ‘right now’ money, I think.”

Theo chokes on his drink. Arthur is just staring at me with his mouth hanging open, completely incredulous at my nonchalant statement.

“That is absolutely preposterous,” he finally says. I shrug.

“I guess that proves Manzoni’s point, doesn’t it?” I down what’s left of the absinthe and set the glass in the middle of the table. Arthur scoffs.

“No, no, she’s right.” I am surprised to hear Theo agree with me. He looks rather impressed. “Collectors will buy anything with the right name attached to it. Artist’s shit,” he laughs. “That’s brilliant.”

Maybe it’s his adorable dimples, or maybe it’s the alcohol running through my veins, but I have the sudden urge to mock him.

“Wow, who knew you had a sense of humor, knabbeltje!” I put emphasis on the word, causing him to blush, which subsequently makes me giggle. Arthur puts his fist up, laughing, and I bump it. “Ayyy, you learnt it!”

Theo gets up abruptly, and for a moment I fear I have offended him, but I relax when I see him walk towards the bar. He soon comes back with only two glasses, and leaves again to get his own. I sip my new drink, also containing the green liquor from before, and let out a little moan.

“This drink slaps,” I declare, and Arthur tilts his head in confusion.

“Slaps? Gods, Anaïs, it’s like you’re speaking an entirely different language.” I laugh and proceed to tell him about the ‘snack’ thing, how Theo called me a ‘knabbeltje’ and I took it as a compliment, so now he can’t use it on me anymore. Arthur laughs too when I finish the story. “Oh my, is that why he was blushing? Here I was thinking you two might have- Ow!”

I elbow him before he can finish the sentence, in part because I don’t need to hear it, and in part because I see Theo approaching. When he sits down, Arthur’s face lights up with an idea. I wonder what he’s plotting.

“Let’s play a game,” he says. “Bet I can deduce something about each of you. If I’m right, you drink, and if I’m wrong, I drink. Anaïs,” he turns to me. “There is something between you and Leonardo. You two have been in an awfully good mood lately.” I blush and sip my drink. “Ha! I knew it! Our sweet darling and our dear friend have been basket making in secret,” he exclaims. Judging by his face, I assume that’s an euphemism for sex.

“We have not!” I smack his arm. Although that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to. “Okay, my turn. Theo!” I choose loudly, pointing my finger at the art dealer. “You act so tough because you’re protective of Vincent and want to be taken seriously so nobody messes with him.”

Theo drinks before clearing his throat, and then turns to his friend.

“The reason you’re being so annoying lately is because you’re jealous of Leonardo,” he states. Arthur simply leans back on his chair with a smirk.

“Drink,” he commands. Theo obliges. “You have already scoured this bar for my next potential conquest, and you disapprove of all the options.” Theo drinks again.

“Is that what you do when you’re not pestering Sebastian for more coffee?” I laugh. Then a thought occurs to me. “How do they not find out about...? You know,” I ask, tapping my canine with a fingernail. I can’t risk saying it out loud in a place so crowded.

“They simply look like love bites, dear,” Arthur winks. “And they are, in a sense.”

“Huh.” I tilt my head, trying to imagine what that would be like, but I fail and move on to the game. “You sleep around so much to try to forget your guilt.”

Finally, he drinks. I don’t know what he feels guilty about, but I could recognize that emotion on anyone. However, I don’t ask any further. I do not want to pry.

He changes the topic by pulling a deck of cards from his pocket. I guess he does not like losing at his own game.

[ineffablebuddies]

Thoughts on how the Star Trek remakes should approach the characters , in a way that I think would be realistic for 2021 and our current climate:

Romantic relationships:

Sulu/Chekhov - We know they spend a lot of time together on a one to one basis, especially in the films, and they are very endeared to each other. It also wouldn’t change their dynamic or the dynamic on the bridge, and could slip into any future films or shows without change to character. (unlike Spock and Uhura, which I don’t hate, but required adjusting Spock’s character in order to enable a pre-existing relationship.) Like, all you’d need is one throwaway line to make it canon and you could keep the rest exactly the same. And there is obvious value in representing an interracial same sex relationship.

Uhura/Scotty - this would work as a slow burn, because Scotty is a bit of a hopeless romantic whilst he is younger, and is easily misled by his heart and can be a bit overprotective in a very 60s style which is a character flaw integral to his character (and is the plot of a few episodes). Which is why a slow burn is nice for him, because he needs to learn to come from a place of genuine respect and deep affection. And whilst I do like that Uhura stays relatively unattached as one of the few prominent female characters in tos, I do think that as a black woman it is important to allow her to have a romantic relationship due to current representation issues. Which is why I think the slow burn is also nice for her, because you can’t change her character, or make her the object of affection, but showing a deep love and affection developing on the job is nice. We also only start getting the scotty/Uhura romantic dynamic coming in the films when they’re much older. And again I think this is one you can show without having to change anything integral to them. Same with checkov/sulu that it shouldn’t be a plot point, but a character thing that happens without needing to be focused on. Neither of them seek it, but it happens naturally.

Amanda/Sarek - obviously this is already canon, but I think it should be explored in a little more detail. I also think we can do away with the whole “Vulcan is incredibly sexist and treat women as property” thing, which doesn’t actually make sense considering the female Vulcans we do meet, so doesn’t really add to the world building anyway.

Ambiguous Relationships:

Kirk/Spock/Bones - now I know this is controversial, but I don’t think they should necessarily make them canon in the remakes, except possibly at the very end of the shows/last film. To focus on the romantic relationship between Kirk/Spock too early on will potentially reduce the time for Bones to be included as a very necessary part of the main three, and the fact of the matter, the three of them are presented as having a deep bond, not just Kirk/Spock. And there’s a certain level of yearning and unspoken love that really defines their relationships. They should always end up together in some manner, with no other romantic attachments. Part of me would love to make it a ployamarous relationship, but I don’t think it’s likely to happen anytime soon.

I do think however that they should make Spock gay, and I think they should keep the relationship with the Romulan commander but make it a man, because that was actually very well written and acted, but the fact that Spock is able to use that romantic affection to his advantage against a woman is a little sexist considering it’s like the only time we see a female romulan commander, but as a man we wouldn’t have those same issues. And I think that’s the only other relationship we should see Spock have outside of Kirk/bones, because it’s marked by the fact that he can’t act on it the way he would like to, and none of the other relationships in tos really work IMO because it just seems ooc for him. But I think it’s important to allow him to be confirmed as gay considering he is queercoded.

I don’t think it’ll be as easy to confirm a queer identity for Kirk, but I think that for the women he has flings with, he should never be the one to initiate it, but have the same flaw of scotty as being a bit of a hopeless romantic who can be misled by his heart, and again that would give more value to the slow burn he has with Spock. I think you can very much allow him to refer to Spock with love, and I think you can confirm a relationship with Spock at the very end, but I think it should be non-sexual. Vulcan kisses are the way to go, and should allow you to give confirmation of romantic love whilst also having plausible deniability for the people who would riot against it.

I think it’d be fucking amazing if we could cast a trans guy as Kirk. I don’t think you’d get away with saying the character is trans, but having a trans actor and just never mentioning it in show may just be enough to get away with it. Especially if this is a relatively unknown actor who passes completely so casual watchers can’t even get fussed about it (I know this wording has some issues, but I’m thinking more about getting around execs and producers, than on what would be best for rep.)

I’m torn on how far you could get away with including Bones in their relationship. The bones/Spock dynamic is interesting because it is like enemies to lovers, they definitely develop that care for each other, whilst Kirk/bones are old friends. I think Bones shouldn’t have romantic relationships on screen, and should maybe be quite unromantic as a result of his divorce. I don’t think we should ever meet his daughter, though I’m also quite interested in the idea of his ex wife having remarried for a number of years and then having a brief affair with Bones, before breaking it off, but then gives birth to his child but it remains a secret. Because it’s definitely part of his character that he has no attachments to his home, and it makes more sense of his attachment - his love for a daughter that never knew him - if it’s one he can’t do anything about. And would understandably make him more bitter towards his ex, which can make him more unromantic. But I don’t think it needs to be a major plot point.

Like I said, Spock/bones/Kirk should always end up together in some way. And I think it’s in their character to never define why they end up together, but to acknowledge that they can’t live without each other. And I think you could get away with including that as ambiguous to how far their love for each other goes. There’ll be too much backlash to make it completely canon for it, but you could get away with the Good Omens approach. Perhaps you could include Bones in a Vulcan kiss subtly enough to get away with it.

Characters who should be important:

Christine Chapel - she should definitely be in it and made a more significant character, because otherwise Uhura is really the only woman in the show. But it’d be very nice to have a woman who doesn’t need to have a relationship, and there’s no need for her romantic desire for Spock to exist in any remakes. It would also be nice to just make her a doctor from the get-go. Her friendship with Uhura was present in tos, but can now be focused on more, as well as her supportive role to Bones throughout. She wouldn’t be part of the main group, but she should be a big part of their lives.

Doctor m��benga - he was an interesting character, and it’d be nice to have a fixed medical team that work closely together. There’s also a potential for an interesting concept of him being an expert on Vulcans, Bones being an expert on Humans, and thus they’ve both been hired on the ship to work together for the sake of Spock. Also, having another established doctor on board could give an actual explanation for why it’s okay that their only doctor keeps beaming down to dangerous missions and going up to the bridge for no reason lol. Plus there is a lot to be said for casting a dark skinned black man in the role of knowledgable caregiver, especially if they can make him more of a scientist of alien biology too. There may be value if it naturally develops of him having a relationship with chapel, because whilst I like allowing women to exist without relationships, it might be balanced out with the positive representation of an interracial relationship.

Lieutenant Rahda - remember her? She was like In one episode but was great, and she should definitely be introduced as part of the bridge team again. Though her exact culture or religion is not disclosed, she is seen to wear a bindi, and i think it’s always a great time to add more diversity. It makes sense to have more people in the bridge crew too, even if they aren’t part of the main team dynamic. Considering the current political climate, it’d also be a great idea to add another bridge crew team who is visibly a Muslim woman who wears a headscarf, seeing as various countries are still trying to ban that.

Walking Bear - he was only in the TAS for one episode, but again I think he would prove a valuable addition, especially considering star trek’s representation of native people has never been the best, so it’s time they started to make up for that a bit. In most episodes there’s always usually others in the bridge that are helping the main team, and it’d make sense to have a fixed cast of who these people are and flesh them out a bit more.

Saavik - she shouldn’t be in it until much later, at least not as part of the enterprise crew, but there is something very interesting about her character and the dynamic with Spock (which is why I think they should meet later on, because he takes on a role of mentor which is a dynamic shift, and thus should probably happen later. Multiple Vulcans on board is also a dynamic shift that I think should be addressed more.) I do wonder whether it might be nice to move her to being a scientist rather than bridge crew, as that would afford her more interaction with Bones as well, who I think we should get to see interact with other Vulcans more, to establish that he is not xenophobic despite his conflict on Vulcan philosophy with Spock. (Or at least if he does start xenophobic, to start showing his development away from this.) She also should not have a relationship, especially not with Spock oh my god. I think a nice way for her to be introduced would be if she was staffed on a Vulcan only ship that the enterprise for whatever reason has to work alongside, because I think we need to see Spock interact more with other Vulcans and see that Vulcans, despite claims to the contrary, can have the same xenophobic failings as humans. I think her being one who is sympathetic to the enterprise and to Spock is a nice set up to them then meeting later and working together (and also why she might change careers and move away from the Vulcan only ships, as we do get the sense it is unusual for Vulcans to serve on board a starship.) Whilst I do think that a romulan/Vulcan offspring could provide an interesting story, I think she should be fully Vulcan in order to make her acceptance of Spock more poignant.

Kevin Riley - I just think he’s neat. Also maybe we can return to the Tarsus 5 colony story point?!?!?!?

I’d also think it’d be cool to establish some engineers that work beneath Scotty, and a mix of genders of course.

But yeah, I think there’s a lot of ways that any remakes could stay true to the original, whilst still pushing for progressiveness in the same spirit as tos, whilst managing to manoeuvre around execs and producers and negative media. Star Trek should always be progressive for its day, and it’s a new day now, so we need to keep moving onwards.

[myaekingheart]

You’ve Got Kudos

Written for Day 1 of the Kakashi Lounge Discord Server's September Event. Prompts: Fanfic Writer!Kakashi | Social Disaster | Modern AU | Roommates/Neighbors 

[Read on AO3] Pairing: Kakashi x Rei (OC)  Rating: Teen and Up @the-kakashi-lounge-blog

Kakashi has a dirty little secret and it's in the form of an AO3 account. No one is allowed to know that he writes Icha Icha fanfiction--especially not his library tech neighbor Rei. (Standalone companion piece to The Scarecrow and the Bell, Modern/College AU)

               Kakashi kicked off his shoes at the front door and slumped into his favorite chair. Tutoring wasn’t necessarily his favorite thing in the world but it looked good on resumes and put a little extra cash in his pockets, so he supposed he could tolerate it for a little while longer. If only his students hadn’t been quite so insufferable, that is.

               If anything, tutoring reminded Kakashi how much he hated underclassmen. His three protegees were all naïve freshman whose energy stores had yet to drain. Naruto was enthusiastic but slow on the uptake and it was hard to get him to properly focus. Sakura had potential but she was far too engrossed in her Instagram rivalry with fellow student Ino Yamanaka to make any real progress. And Sasuke was constantly brooding, there not by choice but rather because his professor threatened to flunk him if he didn’t seek outside help.

               Perhaps it would’ve been smarter to book them each separate appointments but with the way everyone’s schedules worked out, it was easier to just create one big study group. It was more efficient that way, anyway. Kakashi much preferred to kill three birds with one stone than chip away at his sanity little by little. And so every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, Kakashi trudged to the library to pore over used textbooks and incomprehensible scribbles in an attempt to explain simple concepts to brains that could not understand. This was fine. He didn’t need a social life anyway.

               Kakashi rubbed his tired eyes and checked the time. It was 5:30pm. He had no idea what he was going to do for dinner, nor did he really care. Sighing, he reached for his laptop and went straight to his email. At the very top of his inbox was a notification from Archive of Our Own: Comment on Icha Icha Bloodline. Kakashi’s heart jolted. In the solace of his apartment, this was his one saving grace: fanfiction.

               He admittedly felt a little ridiculous about the whole thing. What college guy not only wrote fanfiction, but for romance novels at that? He knew exactly how his taste in literature appeared. So few people truly understood the nuance and artistry of the Icha Icha books, writing it off as just cheap porn. Those books, however, gave Kakashi exactly the reprieve he needed. Within their pages, he could disappear from the stress of everyday life to instead revel in the throes of a dramatic fictional romance. His love for this series knew no bounds. His heart ached to share it with someone but if college had taught Kakahsi anything, it was that people never really change and are more than willing to judge you the minute you express any personal interests. High School: The Sequel, if you will. And so Kakashi had come to learn that there were only ever two places where he was safe to unapologetically indulge in his favorite series: within the comfort of his own home and on the internet.

               Fanfiction was never his original intention. Rather, it was the end result of a long string of unfortunate circumstances. The latest book had ended with the heroine caught between two very tempting suitors, a cliffhanger of epic proportions which left Kakashi itching for a resolution. A few months after publication, the author, Jiraiya, passed away, taking his secrets for the series’ finale with him.

               Kakashi had tried so hard not to think about it but the lack of closure ate away at him. He needed a valuable outlet through which to ramble, a way to confide in someone as invested in the series as he was. For a moment, he had considered joining a book club but all of his attempts failed. The only clubs that ever focused on books like these were run by sexually frustrated middle-aged women who sneered at the mere thought of letting a man into their circle. On recommendation from a friend, he turned to the campus library community for help but was met with nothing short of disaster, which thus introduced the second point of contention: Rei.

               The library check-in desk was notoriously run by volunteers, most of which were majoring in library science themselves. One such volunteer was Rei Natsuki, a junior with fiery hair and a chronic resting bitch face. It wasn’t that Kakashi didn’t like her, necessarily. Actually, every time he saw her he got this horrifying fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach that insisted he was about to throw up. He felt as if her eyes were on him constantly, studying his every move. This fact only furthered his gratitude for lumping together all of his tutoring appointments. The less time he spent in the library, the less often he would have to see her.

               Not that she was necessarily easy to avoid. Just his luck, she lived three doors down from him in the same off-campus apartment complex. At least if he timed things just right, he could avoid running into her in the hallway. Their mutual existence was like a very carefully choreographed dance on perilous terrain. They were constantly at risk of colliding with one another, a harrowing and horrifying fate.

               Their first encounter was in the fall of his freshman year when he snuck into the erotic fiction section searching for the Icha Icha books. As he skimmed the titles, he felt a pair of mossy eyes burning holes into his back like a cryptid whose domain has been intruded upon. When Kakashi turned around, he caught her peering around the edge of the bookshelf. Her expression was one of harsh focus and concern. “Looking for something?” she asked. For someone so small—she was roughly a foot shorter than he was—she was certainly terrifying.

               Kakashi’s face turned beet red, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “No, not particularly!” he exclaimed. “Just looking around!”

               “Hrmph” Rei huffed, unconvinced. “Well, if you need anything, I’ll be right over there” she pointed to the help desk at the front of the library. An older woman, one of the librarians, winked at her across the room and Rei’s face turned bright red. Without another word, she scurried off back to her station, grumbling under her breath. Once gone, Kakashi sighed and leaned back against the shelf. All of the books directly behind him tumbled to the ground with a loud thud. Rei immediately whipped around to glare at him but by then, he had already dove into the nearest study room. Frustrated, Rei stomped over to assess the damage and begin reorganizing the shelves. Kakashi apologized to the group he interrupted before booking it out of the building. It was in that moment that he officially decided: from that point onward, Icha Icha would remain his dirty little secret. Literally.  

               And thus came along the internet. At least there, hiding behind his computer screen, he could retain some sense of anonymity. He could disguise himself with a pen name much like wearing a mask. No one needed to know who he was. He pored over various forums, reading but never interacting. As refreshing as it was to find a sense of community amid other Icha Icha fans, his joy quickly faded when he realized one fatal flaw: no one knew what they were talking about. They all misinterpreted the characters, the relationships, the actions the heroine took to get to this point. Perhaps Jiraiya’s novels were too nuanced. Perhaps there was no hope for him after all. It was then, deep into a Reddit thread, that it dawned on him: the horrifying promise of writing fanfiction.

               At first, Kakashi refused. He would not stoop so low. The harder he resisted, however, the more appealing the idea slowly became. At least in this way, he could help people to better understand these stories in a way that he was familiar with. Not that he was an avid writer himself but he hoped he was familiar enough with the conventions of fiction to understand how it was done. As if running on autopilot, he ventured to Archive of Our Own and created an account under the pseud “CopyNin.”

               His fanfiction, Icha Icha Bloodline, introduced dramatic new themes and conflicts to the story he loved, expanding on the love triangle with a depth and sincerity that he hoped would make Jiraiya proud. It hadn’t gotten many hits yet, but that just made every kudos and comment feel that much heavier. As his cursor hovered over his inbox now, he almost questioned whether he even wanted to know. Every shared thought had the capacity to make or break his motivation. But if he didn’t look, he wouldn’t be able to contain himself. He needed to know. He pulled up the latest comment and his heart leapt into his throat. It was from LittleBell.

               LittleBell was, for lack of a better word, iconic amid the Icha Icha fandom. They were one of the first writers Kakashi had encountered when he first considered fanfiction as a possibility. Their name appeared in dozens of forum posts, attached to both praise and criticism alike. By the time Kakashi looked into them himself, they had already written 100,000 words worth of fic with the longest piece nearing 100 chapters. It was clear why they were so popular. The cadence of their sentences, their detailed characterization, and their dynamic plot points all made Kakashi’s heart sing. He could only hope to one day be as great a writer as they were.

               Kakashi had lurked through fifteen chapters before, in a fit of sleep-drunken gumption, he had decided to leave LittleBell a comment. It was short and sweet and afterward, Kakashi groaned into his pillow second-guessing every sentence, but he awoke to an encouraging response that firmly cemented the allure of writing a fic himself. And now here he was, faced with a comment from them on his own work. How could he ever prepare himself for something so huge? He instinctually expected scathing criticism. Your characterization sucks. You’re writing them all too flat. Her suitors would never say XYZ or do ABC. Have you even read the books? This is trash. Kakashi’s hands shook as he tried to shove those negative thoughts out of his mind. LittleBell had been so kind before so, realistically, why would their response be any different? Kakashi scratched the back of his head, knowing that the longer he waited, the more maddening this was going to become. Without another moment’s hesitation, he forced himself to view the comment.

               This was so great! I love the way you write these characters—I can tell you have a really deep understanding of the heroine, especially. It’s so refreshing to read a fic that not only retains the romance of the originals but also emphasizes it in a way that’s super meaningful rather than cheesy. My favorite part was the scene where she’s fixing his watch. “It’s really an exquisite watch. Such a shame that it’s stopped working.” “I guess that just means that we’ll have to stay in this moment forever” “What will everyone else say? They’ll get tired of waiting.” “Let them wait. I’m always late to everything anyway. What’s another eternity?” My heart! You can really tell just how much he loves her, and it makes that love triangle all the more tense and heartbreaking! You’re really just doing an incredible job with this and I can’t wait to read more!”

               Kakashi’s cheeks burned as he buried his face in his hands. It was all he could do to hide the grin on his face. Not that anyone was there to tease him for it. Pakkun was fast asleep on the couch and likely wouldn’t have cared anyway. Alone in his apartment, Kakashi was exploding. To think that someone so talented and renowned within the fandom not only noticed his work but enjoyed it was mind-blowing. This was a high he would surely be riding for the rest of the week, if not the rest of the semester. Nothing could be better than this.

               Once the debilitating excitement wore down a bit, Kakashi was then stuck with the battle of writing a response. He knew there were some in the community who considered responding a controversial topic—something about trying to increase your comment count—but Kakashi enjoyed replying to every single person who took the time to say something nice. And this was certainly something very nice. How could he possibly put into words his overwhelming gratitude? He had no clue. Kakashi stewed over the prospect for a solid ten minutes before his growling stomach urged him to hurry up. He had completely forgotten he was hungry but now his body was not going to let him forget. He considered stepping away and replying later, after he had time to chew it over, but then quickly shoved away the thought. He couldn’t afford to put this on the backburner at the risk of forgetting about it entirely. No, he needed to do this now.

               Kakashi typed, paused, considered, then backspaced and typed again. When he was finally at least mildly pleased with his response, he sucked in a deep breath and pressed Comment.

               Huffing in relief, Kakashi stretched out and leaned his head back against his chair. All that was left to do now was wait. Would they even respond back? He didn’t know. Sometimes a comment began a whole conversation, other times it was a singular instance like a comet in the night sky.

               But for now, he was going to try not to dwell on it. He received LittleBell’s praise, and if they were to respond back then so be it. It was all up to fate now. Kakashi slipped on his shoes, shoved his phone, wallet, and keys into his pocket, and headed out. As he locked his apartment, he heard without listening as a door down the hall creaked open. The sound reached his ears but his brain did not register what it was until it was too late. Turning around, he abruptly bumped into her.

               A gasp fell from Rei’s lips as she collided with Kakashi’s chest. Her half-open backpack swung on her shoulder, spilling its contents onto the floor. “S-sorry about that!” he croaked, clearing his throat. Kakashi’s hands shook as he leaned down to help gather her belongings, all the while fearing her wrath. Among the used textbooks and stuffed notebooks was a green paperback with a big prohibition sign on the cover. The little bell charm attached to Rei’s keychain jingled and automatically Kakashi was punched in the gut with a realization of Pavlovian proportions. Little Bell.

               “I-I’m sorry…what was that…?” Rei stammered and suddenly Kakashi realized he had, in fact, spoken aloud. Her voice, in response, was so much quieter than he had ever thought she was capable of—filled with the striking fear of being vulnerably and intrinsically known. Unmasked.

               Kakashi’s eyes widened as he shuffled to gather as many of her books as he could manage. “I-I didn’t know you liked the Icha Icha books” he murmured. He could hardly make eye contact as he handed her back her things.

               “Yeah…” she said, slowly accepting them, “They’re, uh…they’re my favorite.”

               Rubbing the back of his neck, Kakashi chuckled nervously and replied, “Mine, too.”

               She wasn’t sure what it was about him but in that moment, a sickening feeling filled her chest, a nauseating suspicion that she couldn’t shake. There was really only way to confirm whether or not those suspicions were correct. At the risk of looking like an idiot, she cleared her throat then and said, “You know, that’s a really exquisite watch.” Kakashi froze, his eyes gently skating down to his wrist. He wasn’t wearing a watch. His heart pounded in his chest. Rei bit her lip, dropped her eyes to the floor. “It’s, uh, it’s a shame it’s stopped working.”

               Kakashi’s mind was reeling. None of this felt real. Suddenly Rei was a completely different person to him now. He saw her not as the terrifying, impatient, and indirect girl from the library but the extremely talented, encouraging, yet perhaps unfortunately shy writer that he had spent so much time idolizing. If only he had known of the bond they secretly shared over the past few months. He could hardly fight the grin on his face as he murmured back, “Then I guess we’ll just have to stay in this moment forever.”

               Rei’s cheeks burned as she hugged her books to her chest. She could feel the laughter rising up in the back of her throat—this was so ridiculous, and yet at the same time this was everything she had ever wanted. If only Kakashi had truly known how much she had suppressed over the years, since they first met in the library. The way the old librarian encouraged her to speak to him when she caught him perusing her favorite books. The way she’d hide out in her apartment whenever he left for class, watching from the window too scared to approach. The way she channeled all of her unrequited love and inner turmoil into the very story she now knew he idolized. She felt so strange and vulnerable but also for the first time truly seen. It was the most bizarre and lovely sensation.

               She had no idea how long they actually stood there in the hallway like that, reveling in this newfound connection, but all too soon reality suddenly hit her. “D-do you have somewhere you’re supposed to be? I don’t want you to be late!” she exclaimed.

               Kakashi, however, still entranced, shook his head and replied, “Let them wait. I’m always late to everything anyway.” Rei brushed the long bangs back out of her face, completely incapable of stifling her laughter. Kakashi joined her—the breadth of his smile, the bravado of his voice, the way his eyes squinted when he laughed, all were enough to make her weak in the knees. “Are you hungry?” he then asked. “I was just about to get something to eat. You should come with me.”

               Sliding her books back into her backpack, Rei smiled and replied, “I would love that.” Swinging her bag back over her shoulder, she walked alongside him down the hallway. Their fingers itched to interlock, their hearts pounding out of their chests. He opened the door for her and together they stepped out into the autumn air. Nothing else mattered. In that moment, all that existed was them: CopyNin and LittleBell.

[perkwunos]

Weird interpretations of Whitehead by Pierfrancesco Basile in a 2013 article from Process Studies, seemingly not understanding the technical nature of the term creativity in the context of Whitehead’s mature metaphysics: “Whitehead thinks that the ontological primacy of creativity had been fully recognized by Spinoza”—but Whitehead now, contra, rejects conceiving ultimate reality “in terms of the concepts of substance and quality. … The one substance disappears from the picture, and only the finite modes… remain”. But “creativity” just is Whitehead’s technical term for the absence of this ultimate substantial unity: Spinoza was contrasted to his system as the most representative instance of a concept of ultimate reality antithetical to his concept of creativity. Basile then goes on to say “creativity is the force behind all significant human achievements – it makes emancipation from animal ways of life possible”, which once again misconstrues the basic meaning of the term “creativity” for Whitehead, as it is the ultimate nature and basis of all reality, so that the claim amounts to tautology as if one said “being is the force behind all significant human achievements.” A more accurate statement in Whitehead’s language would probably be that appetitive novelty in propositions and symbolic interaction is what is behind uniquely human achievements.

The core of the main argument is more interesting: following Dewey, a criticism of Whitehead’s value theory for locating value within God’s primordial appetition of eternal objects, so that ideals are already predetermined, static norms: “we are asked to take the attitude of silent listeners, not that of creative subjects.” I think ultimately, it’s another misinterpretation of Whitehead’s system to say he “identifies the realm of vales with that selected portion of the realm of eternal objects God has judged to be worthy of realization.” Eternal objects aren’t what’s valuable, actual entities are: value exists within the feelings of individuals, and eternal objects are only a means and expression of this. But then, is God—the one eternal actual entity—the ultimate and final decider of what’s “really” valuable, and so the real storehouse of value? Each valuation of an individual actual occasion does derive from the initial aim deriving from God’s primordial nature. I think there is ambiguity here, and Whitehead perhaps wasn’t fully decided how radically he wanted to push the matter. But there is a helpful hint in a peculiar, and clearly radical, feature of Whitehead’s system he does make explicit and point to as an important distinction: God isn’t the ontological ultimate; that is creativity, which amounts to the emptiness of a flux of distinct experiences. God is only one creature derivative from this underlying essential reality.

Process theologians often stress that their understanding of God is as a caring, persuasive agent, and not an all-powerful one, but there’s a more interesting side to this when taken further. God also doesn’t decide, ultimately, what’s valuable or not: we do. Of course, God is one of the entities in that “we”—a very important one, a universal and cosmic factor in these decisions, but not the sole final say. Whitehead explicitly says the proposition that constitutes the initial aim, the initial object of desire, from which all purpose derives, is always essentially vague, meaning it is not only a suggestion, but one that necessarily cannot be slavishly followed but must be creatively responded to. It is an initial spark from which we must mature and think for ourselves—and desire for ourselves. So it isn’t just that the order of the cosmos is imperfect and tinged with chaos because God isn’t powerful enough to impose the perfect order; it’s not that God gave us freedom to allow us to choose of our own will to do what God already knows is the moral thing to do; it’s because this “perfection” is an illusion and does not even potentially exist, and the most valuable order is to be acquired through a more experimental construction of ever-changing ends.

[goodvibesatpeace]

Spiritual Advice To Help You Get Through Hard Times

Pain is part of life and love, and it helps you grow.

So many of us are afraid of ourselves, of our own truth, and our feelings most of all. We talk about how great the concepts of life and love are, but then we hide from both every day. We hide from our truest feelings. Because the truth is life and love hurt sometimes, and the feelings this brings disturbs us.

We are taught at an early age that all pain is evil and harmful. Yet, how can weever deal with real life and true love if we’re afraid to feel what we really feel? We need to feel pain, just as we need to feel alive and loved. Pain is meant to wake us up. Yet we try to hide our pain. Realize this. Pain is something to carry willingly, just like good sense. Because you can only learn how strong you are when being strong is the only choice you have.

It’s all in how you carry the things that don’t go your way. That’s what matters in the end. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you – your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting the lies of insecurity destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel pain – to endure it – to own your scars – to deal with the realities of life and love, as you grow into the strongest, wisest, truest version of yourself.

Mindset is half the battle.

It’s okay to have down days and tough times. Expecting life to be wonderful all the time is wanting to swim in an ocean in which waves only rise up and never come crashing down. However, when you recognize that the rising and crashing waves are part of the exact same ocean, you are able to let go and be at peace with the reality of these ups and downs. It becomes clear that life’s ups require life’s downs.

In other words, life isn’t perfect, but it sure is good. Our goal shouldn’t be to create a perfect life, but to live an imperfect life in radical amazement. To get up every morning and take a good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is extraordinary. Every day is a gift. Never treat life casually. To be spiritual in any way is to be amazed in every way.

Do not let the pain of a situation make you hopeless. Do not let negativity wear off on you. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Even though others may disagree with you, take pride in the fact that you still know the world to be a beautiful place. Change your thoughts and you change your reality.

And mindset is especially powerful when it comes to accepting that…

Your biggest fears don’t really exist.

When times are hard it can be difficult to follow your heart and take another step, but it’s a tragedy to let the lies of fear stop you. Although fear can feel overwhelming, and defeats more people than any other force in the world, it’s not as powerful as it seems. Fear is only as deep as your mind allows. You are still in control. So take control!

The key is to acknowledge your fear and directly address it. Fight hard to shine the light of your words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless, obscure darkness that you avoid, and perhaps even manage to briefly forget, you open yourself to future attacks from fear when you least expect it. Because you never truly faced the opponent who defeated you.

You CAN beat fear if you face it. Be courageous! And remember that courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid; courage means you don’t let fear stop you from moving forward with your life. 

You are growing through experience.

Over time you will find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than you thought it was going to be; it’s just that the easy and the hard aren’t exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t always occur when you expect them to. This isn’t a bad thing; it makes life interesting. With a positive attitude you will always be pleasantly surprised.

When you stop expecting things to be a certain way, you can appreciate them for what they are. Ultimately you will realize that life’s greatest gifts are rarely wrapped the way you expected.

Experience is what you get when your plans don’t go as planned, and experience is the most valuable commodity you own – it builds your strength.

You have the power to turn your wounds and worries into wisdom; you just have to do something about them. You have to accept what has happened and use what you’ve learned to step forward. Everything you’ve experienced has given you the upper hand for dealing with everything you have yet to experience. Realize this and set yourself free.

You can’t change situations you don’t take responsibility for.

Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.” Don’t let this be you. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you surrender power over that part of your life.

Make no mistake, in the end, the price of happiness IS responsibility. As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be. If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault.

Ultimately, your happiness depends on your self-reliance – your unshakable willingness to take responsibility for your life from this moment forward, regardless of who had a hand in making it the way it is now. It’s about taking control of your present circumstances, thinking for yourself, and making a firm choice to choose differently. It’s about being the hero of your life, not the victim.

The present is all you really have to deal with.

Life is not lived in some distant, imagined land of someday where everything is perfect. It is lived here and now, with the reality of the way things are. Yes, by all means you can work toward an idealized tomorrow. Yet to do so, you must successfully deal with the world as it is today.

Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we are because we have developed a belief, based on past experiences, that it is not where we should be or want to be. But the truth is, where you are now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow. So appreciate where you are.

Your friends and family are too beautiful to ignore. Take a moment to remember how fortunate you are to be breathing. Take a look around, with your eyes earnestly open to the possibilities before you. Much of what you fear does not exist. Much of what you love is closer than you realize. You are just one brief thought away from understanding the blessing that is your life.

Happiness is a mindset that can only be designed into the present. It’s not a point in the future or a moment from the past; yet sadly, this misconception hurts the masses. So many young people seem to think all their happiness awaits them in the years ahead, while so many older people believe their best moments are behind them. Don’t be either of them. Don’t let the past and the future steal your present.

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

Life is better when you’re smiling. Being positive in a negative situation is not naive; it’s a sign of leadership and strength. You’re doing it right when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead.

What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?

Think of all the beauty that remains around you, see it and smile. Be thankful for all the small things in your life, because when you put them all together you will see just how significant they are. At the end of the day, it’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy.

Great things take time.

Instant results are rarely the best results. With patience, you can greatly expand your potential. If your desires were always fulfilled immediately, you would have nothing to look forward to. You would miss out on the joys of anticipation and progress.

Remember, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in. It’s the willingness to stay focused, confidently staking one small step at a time, knowing that the way you move a mountain is by moving one stone at a time. Every stone you move, no matter how small, is progress.

Bottom line: You deserve more than mere instant gratification. Value that arrives in an instant is often gone in an instant. Value that takes time and commitment to create often outlives its creator – YOU.

Other people cannot validate you

When we’re struggling to achieve something important, sometimes we look to others to validate our progress. But the truth is, they can’t…

You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. Pave your own unique path. What success means to each of us is totally different. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.

You don’t have to be flashy to be impressive. You don’t have to be famous to be significant. You don’t have to be a celebrity to be successful. You don’t need to be validated by anyone else. You are already valuable. You just need to believe in yourself and what you wish to achieve.

You can be quietly humble and still be amazingly effective. Just because people don’t fall at your feet and worship you, doesn’t mean you are a failure. Quiet success is just as sweet as loud, flamboyant success, and usually far more real. Success is how you define it, not what everyone else says it must be for you.

You are not alone.

In the midst of hard times, it’s easy to look around and see a bunch of people who seem to be doing just fine. But they’re not. We’re all struggling in our own way. And if we could just be brave enough to open up about it, and talk to each other, we’d realize that we are not alone in feeling lost and alone.

So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you. We are all in this together. So no matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, know that there are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your worried mind trying to sell you a lie. There’s always someone who can relate to you. Perhaps you can’t immediately talk to them, but they are out there.

If you’re feeling desperate right now, hear me: I often feel and think and struggle much like you do. I care about many of the things you care about, just in my own way. And although some people do not understand us, we understand each other. YOU are not alone!

Afterthoughts

One of life’s greatest gifts is the fact that life is difficult.  Because in dealing with life’s difficulties, we build invaluable strength.  This strength enables us to successfully fulfill our deepest, most meaningful purposes.  It is precisely because life is difficult that we are able to make it great.  It is because life is difficult that we are able to rise above the difficulties.  We are able to make a difference and we are able to truly matter.

So remember this…

When times are tough, you must be tougher.  Don’t pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a tough one that leads to greatness.

Much Love To All... Go In Peace My Beautiful Friends ❤❤❤

[daazurebanana]

“It is so hard to be a normal person when one is not a normal person.”

Helping Mental Disorders

When I was a senior in high school, I went on a field trip with my English class to Salt Lake City to see a Sundance film. The movie, “Notes on Blindness”, was a true story about a man named John Hull who had a disease that took his sight when he was in his 30s. I remember being totally in awe of the way the film showed blindness, something I never expected to see or feel. Mental disorders are, in a unique way, a kind of blindness. Living with a mental illness is like living in a different world -- one that cannot be understood or lived in by the meager average human like me. Now, I don’t say that to offend, though offense is bound to be taken by someone on this planet, I will verbally stand my ground from where I sit on my couch. You, try as you might, can never truly empathize with me, and I likewise, cannot completely empathize with you no matter how similar we may be. Thus, really, we are all blind in a way. If this is true of two “normal” people, the divide is especially wide between a normal person and one with mental illness. Nevertheless, I don’t mean to imply by this that mental disorders should be eliminated or dismissed. I don’t think mental disorders should be erased. This is a research argument is it not? I merely wish to draw your attention to the goods and evils of mental disorders, whether someone else’s or your own; focusing on clinical depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anxiety as they are found in my family.

Partial Personality Disorder

  A long-time loyal social worker for a foster care facility, one probably wouldn’t immediately assume my step-aunt Sarah suffered from Borderline personality disorder (BPD). BPD, also known as an emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD). BPD is a mental disorder similar to bipolar in its propensity to mood swings as a result of abandonment and instability issues in their relationships, make being alone extremely difficult, causing extreme behaviors that tend to drive other people away. It includes symptoms like “self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships. The effect BPD has on one’s perception of self and others creates many difficulties in daily life” (Mayo Clinic).

Her development of BPD was in response to the divorce of her parents. Her father and older siblings, while she remained with her mother . As she approached the teenage years, she showed increased symptoms of abandonment issues as is common.  She struggled with cutting, became very volatile, suicidal and promiscuous. The symptoms worsened as she got older until eventually, her mother admitted her to the hospital for treatment. As she became an adult, she was able to gain more control of her moods with the help of education in social work and the natural passage of time. Though Sarah does not mention her diagnosis in the memoir, as she describes the everyday niceties of life and the trials, there is a trace of something off-balanced about the way she describes people and memories which could easily be put down to the cancer she was struggling with, or simply exaggeration (Southey, Sarah).

Although Sarah is not a blood-relative, her disorder intrigues me. According to the Mayo clinic’s page about treating BPD, psychotherapy is the best option. With patience and willingness to make changes, patients could eventually learn to live in a self-reliant manner. Perhaps the most valuable lesson from my step-aunt’s memoir is that no matter when or how it happens, success is often possible. This doesn’t mean it is easy. In a rather hard-to-understand article I perused, the authors said that ‘it cannot be denied that people with mental disorders cannot recover completely and (the illness) will even hamper their productivity” (Agustina Barimbing, Maryati). Certainly, in my aunt’s case, for example, success was delayed by her disorder, but it was not stopped. Sure, not everyone can be an astronaut, but satisfaction with self and achievements is possible. This is possible for anyone by finding knowing personal limits and asking for help when needed. This is true of both people both with and without disabilities.

Bipolar

Memories are stretchy and blurry things, pliable to new information and experiences so I can’t give the exact order of the events of the year I turned six, but I do remember moving to Utah, my mom giving birth to twins, and my dad being admitted to the hospital. My aunt and uncle offered to watch my older sister and me, so we packed some clothes and drove for hours before arriving to be baked alive in the suffocating Las Vegas heat for two weeks (the equivalent of 2 months in kid-years). Being six, I couldn’t understand why I was with these people instead of my own family. Every night I’d sit on my bed with my 16-year-old cousin and sob fat tears as I made her show me how many days were left before I could go home. 

What I couldn’t comprehend at the time was that my father was admitted to the hospital due to a mental breakdown. It was the beginning of a recession and he had just lost his job, been injured in a car accident, become the father of (now) 6 children, and signed a new mortgage. He was thrown into a situation that would have been too much pressure even for someone without his struggles with a mental disorder. That episode was the first of many I can remember--the latest being last week, when he had a severe anxiety attack and was admitted for a week and a half to a mental institution that confiscated every possible danger, right down to his shoelaces.

My father has severe anxiety and bipolar II, meaning instead of having extreme highs and extreme lows, he experiences what is called ‘hypomania’: an emotional spectrum that has less extreme manic episodes and spends more time in the depression, resembling clinical depression. For a very long time I personally--and I am sure I am not alone--have had the tendency to interpret his reaction to stress as weakness. Reflecting on my six-year-old mindset, the belief that when presented with a trial, it is one’s own responsibility to remain strong and to protect those one loves--not to weigh them down, was incorrect. One of the main roadblocks to helping those with and without mental disorders is a difficulty “with self-care and...informing others of their needs” (Arredondo, Emanuel), and being sensitive to the needs for special support without bias is important. Such prejudices is society can be poisonous because issues that arise can’t be solved because the sufferer does not feel they can openly share their feelings.

 In society, vulnerability and sensitivity seem like signs of human weakness; something to be smothered, swallowed and overcome. But that is simply not true. It is true that mental disorders cause problems--to put it mildly. But here is a thought that a friend of mine put to me one day as I was moping around about something: “if it is inevitable, why not be happy about it?” That is not to say that anyone is wrong for being unhappy, but if it is inevitable, why beat ourselves up about it? Depending on the disorder, the reactions in our body that produce the disorder are different. One’s proclivity to having a disorder is not as simple as having one or not having one. In the article “Psychiatric genetics: back to the future," by Carson M. Owen and M. O’Donovan, it is explained that, although there are exceptions, disorders are a result of genes interacting with other genes or genes reacting to the environment. Gene-gene interaction implies that a person has the disorder no matter how the environment interacts with them, whereas gene-environment interaction refers to one developing a disorder as a result of a negative environment. But here’s the thing: both have the potential of disorder either way. Both often become apparent in teenage years to young adulthood when people are faced with a lot of stressful situations and decisions like college, moving away from home, dating, marriage, and starting a career. If stress is the catalyst, how can one a genetic predisposition to avoid a disorder? Although a perfect life is ideal, it is also impossible, as I have shown in the experience of my Aunt Sarah.

So much money and effort is spent on preventing and treating mental disorders, that the concept that mental disorders destroy is drilled into our craniums. But what do they inspire? There is a natural tendency to consider mental illness as something that is a burden. We have a tendency in our lives to see problems and try to fix all of them at once, but what we really need to do is take a breath and figure out what we can and cannot control, and from there press forward. Accepting our weaknesses is not the same thing as being satisfied with them. 

Dr. Jamison is a well-renowned psychiatrist who specialized in academic medicine and manic-depressive illness (bipolar). In her autobiography: “An Unquiet Mind”, she shares her research related to bipolar as well as her experience as she undergoes the same intense mood swings as her patients. Kay Jamison helps the blind to see, in a way (or, to continue my earlier comparison, she helps the seeing to be blind.) "An Unquiet Mind" (more than anything else I have ever read) helps a person on the outside looking in  to understand  the chaotic nature of disorders--meaning chaotic in the sense of "uncontrollable", not necessarily "manic".

 She relates having a disorder to the lifestyle of a blind teenager she used to counsel. Having met with him for many months, she felt she understood what it was like to be blind; however, one day she came to see him in class and was shocked to see that the room was totally dark, while he and the rest of the class were sitting quietly listening to a recording. This experience made her realize that she really did not know what is meant to be blind. We cannot fully understand what it is like to live with another's disorder, but Dr. Jamison says that we can love them and just be with them. The diversity of every single human ‘bean’s’ perspective adds spice to the whole of the culture. Our culture is profoundly influenced by the positives of mental illness. Bipolar disorder and depression are linked to creativity and productivity--many poets, writers, actors, singers, and other artists have made significant contributions to society. Take Dostoyevsky and Van Gogh (and my own father who has written 9 novels, a chemistry, and a computer textbook, makes cheese, is a blacksmith, a lapidarist...you get the picture).

As I have said, I don’t think the mental disorder is completely bad, but it does include some inherent and devastating problems. Some of the downsides of bipolar and depression include suicide, psychosis, abuse of others, loss of productivity and meaning, among others. In order to treat, or even better, prevent the negative effects of mental disorders, there are many resources available for both those who struggle with it personally and those who are affected, such as family and friends. Mental disorders make a person turn emotionally inward and become isolated although what they really need is a source to provide energy and emotional support, or in other words, provide energy and hope that life really is worth living. “To supply this demand”, it is “essential in these contexts to build social networks and the provision of social support”(Batistela Vicente, Jéssica).

Mental health issues are best handled by having some sort of structure in place. This structure can be found in multiple places: non-profit support groups for mental illness such as Conflict Prevention and Resolution--Brazil (CPR), National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), or Omotenashi--Family Experiences Learning Program (FELP), organized religion, or extended family and friends. More often than not, a combination of a few is the most successful in creating a constant safety net. Having these resources when “facing difficulties such as time investment; economic dependency, deprivation of the needs of other family members, lack of social activities and reduction of relations with the outside world,” give much-needed stability and prevent feelings of isolation.

Some form of organization especially helps children, as they are often too young to recognize their own need for support. Research has found time and time again that a church community --unpresuming but always available-- is the optimal choice, with mental and emotional disorders, having much lower rates among young adults who were raised in homogeneous religion-based home. Religion is what saved my father’s life despite numerous trials with his anxiety throughout the years. In the study done by CPR in Brazil, one mother of a child with a mental disorder said: “I would listen, would ask for support, I have always asked assistance from God”. Having a personal relationship with a higher being provides comfort when family and friends are unavailable. As with any child, having a “scaffolding on which to hang one’s life” offers direction in the long run, whereas a child who doesn’t go to church, for example, bases their morals off their parents but does not have the benefit of a social support system. In the case of non-religious people, participating in NAMI or school groups are ideal (Batistela Vicente, Jéssica).

 It is important to note that in the case of serious mental disorders, often social support is insufficient and requires the aid of medication. Modern medicine, though often abused, as I am well aware of from my time spent training as a pharmacy technician, is necessary for those who struggle seriously with mental illness. The importance of medicine and the fact that there is no shame in it is also the knowledge that I think should be more widespread—with caution. I took medicine for ADHD when I was about 10, and the results were great, but I only used it for a while in order to establish good habits. This may be the case for minor diagnoses like mine, medicine was not necessary but was helpful for my schooling. Serious mental disorders like bipolar, severe anxiety, and clinical depression, however, may require more than a short term prescription for establishing habits. One point Dr. Jamison emphasizes is that if she was given the option to go back and live a life without manic-depressive illness, she would not; granted the medicine was still available.  

I have come eventually to realize that just because something appears wrong doesn’t mean I have to fix it. Mental health can be treated and cared for, but in chronic and genetic situations, though it might be subdued many people don’t realize that it cannot be cured. And this is okay. As the quote says, the mental disorder will “hamper [the individual’s and their friends and family’s] productivity” (Agustina Barimbing, Maryati). I believe this is true not only but specifically when the individual’s relations try to fix them. This puts a strain on everyone and only leads to everyone involved blaming each other and themselves. 

“Oh mother, how is it for you?”

(Hull, John)

At an emotional scene from the movie “Notes on Blindness,” John Hull’s wife reflected on her husband’s wrestle with his loss of sight and with it so many other things and mused: “Shall I scratch my eyes out, shall I follow you into this world?” Those with mental disorders are not the only ones affected by it. Family and friends struggle to help their loved ones but can easily become discouraged by the task of relieving the load. Caring for a loved one with mental illness is often a“lonely battle”(Kageyama, Masako). Families are required to learn to live with the disease, facing the difficulties and adapting to the new situation in order to maintain a difficult balance within the family. It can be very isolating and caregivers sometimes sacrifice their own physical and mental well being and that of other loved ones to help the person with a mental disorder. Aid from the same support programs offer comfort and understanding by “address(ing) members’ need for knowledge about mental illness, reduc(ing) their feelings of guilt and self‐blame, decreas(ing) caregivers’ burdens, help(ing) families cope, and improv(ing) parent-child relationships” (Kageyama, Masako). With a community that understands the family members as well as the individual with the mental disorder, feelings of isolation and pressure subside, relationships are healthier.

In the book by Jane Clayson Johnson, "Silent Souls Weeping: Depression, Sharing Stories Finding Hope", Johnson interviews the husband of a woman with clinical depression who shares how his view of and reactions to his wife’s episodes evolved over the years. At first, he did not feel like family, but someone that was obligated to serve hand and foot. He got caught in a vicious cycle of blaming her for not controlling herself and blaming himself for not being able to fix it. Eventually, he realized casting blaming only dug the pit of depression deeper. 

So he did what is unarguably easier said than done, and decided to stop blaming people and start “blaming the illness”. Of the experience he said:"(life with) a person with a mental illness is not doomed to be miserable", it is the responsibility and blame that we stubbornly hold on to that make us miserable. Instead of holding on to virulent bitterness and letting the illness be a barrier, he decided to love his wife. The overarching theme of "An Unquiet Mind" and "Silent Souls Weeping" is the saving grace of simply loving those struggling with some disorder: not because it miraculously relieves them of the symptoms,  but because it makes life “worth living”. 

The simplest, and yet two of the most beneficial treatment are both education and acceptance. Mental disorders are not a project that can be “fixed”(Clayson Johnson, Johnson) by the experiencer or their loved ones, but one can offer love and can educate themselves. Though undoubtedly necessary for some individuals on a case by case scenario, it would do the most good for both sides to familiarize themselves with the other person’s situation. This creates a kinship of sorts, humanizes others. Just like when you meet the person who will be your best friend the first time you see them, we should not make assumptions but instead, make an effort to understand. The teaching that losing oneself to find oneself is absolutely correct. Love is a treatment in itself.

Works Cited

Agustina Barimbing, Maryati, et al .“Family Atmosphere Make Family Resilience Which Have Adolescent with Mental Disorder (According to “Resilience” Theory of Haase & Peterson)”. International Journal of Nursing Education. July 2019. 1.

Arredondo, Emanuel, et al. “The Global Impact of Intellectual Disability and Other Mental Disorders in Children”. International Journal of Childbirth Education. 2019, Vol. 34 Issue 2, p14-17.

Batistela Vicente, Jéssica, et al. “Mental disorder in childhood: family structure and their social relations”. Escola Anna Nery Revista de Enfermagem. vol. 19, 2015, pp 107-114.

Burland, Joyce. “NAMI: Family to Family Education Program”. NAMI. 2001.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237

Johnson, Jane Clayson. "Silent Souls Weeping: Depression, Sharing Stories Finding Hope". Desert Book. 2018. 

Kugelmass, Heather. “Mental disorder among nonreligious adolescents”. Mental Health, Religion & Culture (MENT HEALTH RELIGION CULT). 2015, vol. 18, issue 5.

Kageyama, Masako, et al. “Changes in Families' Caregiving Experiences through Involvement as Participants then Facilitators in a Family Peer-Education Program for Mental Disorders in Japan”. Family Process. 2017, vol. 56 Issue 2, p408.

Lucille Southey, Sarah. “Sarah Lucille Southey: A Memoir”. Dollison Road Books. 2016.

Middleton, Peter, et al. “Notes on Blindness”. 2016

Owen, M., Cardno, A. & O'Donovan, M. "Psychiatric genetics: back to the future". Mol Psychiatry, vol 5, 2000, pp 22–31.

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Ladies Love Affair With Extravagance Bags

fabjoybag There is simply no doubting the fact this ladies have an continuous love affair using high-class handbags. Purse websites or maybe e-magazines and feedback with purse forums suggest which some women are in reality passionate with them. There tend to be girls that actually own lots of extravagance handbags which often collectively are usually worth hundreds of dollars. Social mass media along with Dr Google post photos of the well-to-do, celebrities in addition to royals who have are seen out having different bag for every single clothing. They come within various colors to fit each one shade and type of their clothing.

fabjoybag

The item is easy for often the abundant and famous, famous people as well as royals have to help have a large variety of luxury handbags. But the actual standard working woman as well as the stay in mum could hardly find the money for to pay out such high rates in order to realise her dream. The reality is that most bag-loving girls will go not having other things so that you can carry out her desire for a fresh bag.

What sacrifice can you have been prepared to be able to make for you to bid with regard to the Hermes Birkin which will recently sold at public auction for over $200, 000? Manufactured from exquisite pink may be the epidermis, it is decorated with 20 carat platinum hardware and authentic expensive diamonds. The basic Hermes will surely cost at least $8000, and also you will possibly get to be on the waiting record to acquire it!

Luxury purses all these days do not offer regarding much less as compared to $500. Actually many regarding the more exclusive style houses sell their hand bags for well over 1000 dollar. I know would have to help save up for any very long to be the particular proud owner of 1 involving these amazing accessories.

Even though the ultimate 21st-century object connected with desire, luxury handbags are definitely the not just for typically the well-to-do, stars and royalty, but also for functioning women from all areas as well. Now, women of all ages in various age groups are likely in order to spend more on some sort of tote than a holiday break, jewelry or maybe a car. They will all have this specific undetectable desire to be discovered.

Outfits actually can consider second location to luxury totes. For instance, a advertising made in 2007 offering Kate Moss lying undressed on a beach along with nothing at all on except intended for her Longchamp handbag. Their particular message seemed to be clear: outfits are redundant rapid is actually all about the carrier.

So why do females include this love matter with high end handbags? One particular of the reasons is actually because they may have become a new personal fashion statement demonstrating a woman's wealth along with status. They also level out just how fashion aware a woman will be, in addition to demonstrates her placement as well as earning power. It might be since the ever growing recognition of the best purse, that over the prior a hundred years or so, provides adopted the emergent sociable freedom of women.

Earlier a women's role had been typically home-based and this lady would carry the girl particular things in a tote tucked into the folds over associated with her skirt or even in a tiny handbag she carried secretly. Yet as women ventured a lot more from the home, the two for leisure and also perform, larger purses grew to be the useful way of getting their own stuff with these people. Eleanor Roosevelt is mentioned to have started the excitement of using a significant bag as a trend accessory

Another reason exactly why luxury handbags became popular was the fact that will rail along with sea traveling became readily available, so presently there was more need trendy luggage such as suitcase sets, dressing cases, as effectively as loath and boot boxes. That lead to be able to the development of often the modern natural leather handbag.

This is not surprising, as a result that many of all of us leading fashion houses, these kinds of as Lv, Gucci, Prada and Hermes, originated inside the late nineteenth in addition to early 20th generations. Along with as women attained economic independence, the handbag sector flourished out of most portion to its simple inception.

However, the technique we perceive owning appropriate handbag should go far further than just like a means to carry our individual effects. Both revealing as well as concealing, luxury handbags likewise embodies a feeling in which is incredibly private for you to its operator. This sense is due to the point that the handbag was initial developed as a egypt purse or perhaps pocket put on hidden, near our physique. Then, pockets were being considered of as underwear instructions any secret place, disguised . beneath layers of substance and assessable only by simply an intimate beginning throughout the skirt.

These thoughts of intimacy did not necessarily go away when the initially luxury bags were taken in the late eighteenth century. Called reticules, these kind of purses were beautifully stitched pouches with handles with damask, satin or purple velvet. Women used them to help bring cosmetics, a lover for flirtation, smelling salts and mappemonde de visite, all without having compromising the actual slim-line match of the particular Empire-line dress that have been well-liked then.

At first, the concept of a woman revealing the woman private bits and parts to the outside planet was as shameful just as if she had taken down your ex knickers and waved these individuals in the atmosphere. Thus, reticules ended up usually labelled "ridicules" by means of these not ready to take the change.

Luxury clutches were, and still are generally, known as sexual objects mainly because of the closeness which usually in the past has been connected with them, The manifestation "old bag" was applied to refer to some sort of girl who was handed her lovemaking prime and also grumpy outdated women who all show no feeling or maybe feeling for others remain called that today.

High end handbags still have their particular intercourse appeal because they will are so strongly associated to all of each of our intimate things. A substantial purse is all of our your survival kit which keeps all of our personal essentials which often these days include a new cellphone, tampons, make-up, income along with keys, to curly hair straighteners, notebooks, I-phones, biting gum, condoms to your alter of clothes. Accordingly, it is intimate appeal remains magic formula. Men are intrigued concerning what a lady carries within her case, but would certainly never dare in order to seep into its privacy.

Bag-loving ladies feel naked with no their very own luxury handbags. Consider this it is your tote, as opposed to your clothes, which will make you stay ahead of typically the crowd. Even if your garments are old and lusterless, a nice-looking bag allows you to look and feel fine.

Hence, often the handbag marketplace has knowledgeable unbelievable progress in the past a long time. By the mid-2000's revenue of baggage were on the actual rise at a pace which has been twice as large as the charge regarding clothes. The major vogue buildings now make hundreds of thousands of dollars per year coming from the sale of luxurious handbags alone.

So just what are classified as the features that established high-class handbags apart? The particular first thing is need to have an exclusive design and style. They must be instantaneously incomparable as being a leading brand, at the. grams. Fendi, Gucci, Hermes, Lv or from additional fashion house. Vogue homes usually have their unsecured personal designs and this aids with logos as very well.

Another significant characteristic to get desirable luxury purses is usually glamour and attractiveness. The natural way this is discovered each time a particular brand is connected to a celebrity e. r. the valuable Hermes Kelly handbag that is originally produced inside 1935, has not been until top seller until 1956. The carrier shot to be able to fame while the newlywed, Queen Sophistication of Monaco, ended up being took pictures of for the cover of the time magazine shielding her expectant belly with a typical Hermes bag. The designer handbag under consideration consequently became acknowledged as the particular Kelly case in your girlfriend honour. Manner writers marketed the relationship between tote and superstar: Carrying the Kelly handbag is still identifiable together with class and previous cash.

Similarly, the Lady Dior became a sensation throughout 1994 when Princess Centro took to wearing the item close to town after the woman segregated from Prince Charles. This particular handbag is any seductive mix of briefcase in addition to handbag which includes distinctive yellow metal charms. That illustrated the attentive women who seemed to be, on the other palm, glamorous as well as sophisticated. At the moment, social media can certainly recommend the status and also requirement for an individual carrier by simply been photographed upon the provide of some sort of style icon, celeb as well as royal like Romantic Kate Middleton.

Astute marketing and advertising unquestionably plays an important function in creating a necessary case. Whereas celebrities may possibly be able to get hold of the latest luxury totes, to the working woman this is far more problematic, no matter of how much funds they want to devote. Many high-status bags usually are inaccessible and may even have holding out lists extending around about three years. The Hermes Birkin is in this class.

Women's inborn competitiveness is definitely ingeniously maintained by typically the best bag developers. Regarding example. In 2005, This sort of drove customer demand with a peak when he produced it well-known that often the launch of his or her fresh designer bag must have been a minimal with only 2 hundred ever before to be produced. After that it became the ultimate manner trophy and sold available before a new waiting collection was also compiled. This specific bag had been called the actual Novak after Ellie Novak, the legendary brunette presenter who starred with Alfred Hitchcock's 1958 work of genius Vertigo. Prices started from £550 and went up to and including huge £6, 000 for any lavish crocodile version.

It would appear that the price tag does definitely not decrease those obsessed using bags. Actually , fashion properties have worked away which a high price marking generally seems to enhance the need to own it. Presently there obviously is an countless motivation to splash out there on the designer bags are good for special occasions.

Luxury bags will last the when cared for properly. Several iconic styles come along with go, some keep all their value and others boost in benefit. However, that is only a fraction that have the suitable qualities for being iconic. To be able to become iconic, any tote is not just wonderfully attractive but it in addition surpasses time. These manufacturers have earned it is your right phone a bag well-known: Hermes Kelly, the Fendi Kuvertbr?d, the Marc Jacobs's Stam, the YSL Muse in addition to the Mulberry Roxanne.

All these luxury handbags share a very important factor in common; a very clear, clean series; nothing faddy or over-designed, and some sort of mixture of functionality having indulgence. An iconic handbag earns its standing from your best traditions of reputation, quality and craftsmanship. Because it ages, an iconic carrier will look as excellent as it performed in the day it has been bought. In addition to, for a new true bag fan, that will is worth all the particular investment property on it.

[envysea]

2018 in Review

I did this same questionnaire for 2017, so here it is for 2018.

What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before? Graduated from University. Went to China. Went to my first Pride festival. Went to my first comic convention. Started my own D&D campaign.

Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? “My goals for (2018), to graduate college, buy big kid enclosures for my snakes, get fit, draw more, and spend more time with my animals and friends.” I graduated, 5/8 of my snakes are in adult enclosures, I have lost 15lbs, drew even less than last year, still struggling socially but I’m getting better about giving my dog the time he deserves from me. My goals for 2019: Save up enough money to be able to put a deposit on buying a house. Start streaming consistently on Twitch. Learn how to knit. Plant a garden. Draw at least once a week, maybe start doing watercolor. Pick bobbin lace-making back up. Learn a musical instrument. Lose another 15lbs.

Did anyone close to you give birth? No

Did anyone close to you die? No

What countries did you visit/Where did you travel? China! I visit Beijing and Jilin as a graduation vacation with my mom. This year I also went to Portland, Oregon and San Diego,California.

What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018? A portfolio of artwork, photography, and crafts.

What dates from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June 20th, when I brought my longtail boa, Amari, home. October 5th, the date my sibling and I’s application to our townhouse got accepted.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? Definitely graduating from university. It took me 5 years, from losing a full time scholarship, moving out, taking a gap semester, going part time school fulltime work, and finally finishing those last few classes.

What was your biggest failure? Not pushing myself to draw or create.

Did you suffer illness or injury? Banged my head hard enough to make it bleed on Halloween. Got a wicked sore throat and cold. Broke a tooth while on vacation.

What was the best thing you bought? A new apartment to live in. I don’t own it but moving was a lot of $$ and this was definitely one of the biggest changes to my quality of life this year.

Whose behavior merited celebration? My cat Minerva for being the bestest girl. She gets sweeter every year.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Frustrated with myself. I need to get better about not complaining, communicating positively, and putting myself out there to make friends. Still a constant push to also clean up after myself.

Where did most of your money go? Besides living expenses, a fair amount was spent moving, then I spent quite a bit getting my snakes new enclosures, and then I put money into savings and treated myself to good food and other things.

What did you get really, really, really excited about? Dungeons and Dragons, Critical Role, Steven Universe, registering for a ceramics class (starting next week!), my growing dice collection

What song will always remind you of 2018? Happier by Bastille

Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c ) richer or poorer? Happier, thinner, richer.

What do you wish you’d done more of? More productive in my downtime. Like if I’m listening to a podcast I want to do cross-stitch, or lacework, or knitting this year. Drawing during instead of just watching streams. If I take naps, make sure to set an alarm.

What do you wish you’d done less of? Less work. I like my job but there are so many hobbies and skills I wanted to learn.

How did you spend Christmas? First half of the day was spent lounging around at my parents, second half I went over to my girlfriend’s parents for dinner.

Did you fall in love in 2017? No. I feel as if I’m falling out of it if anything

What was your favorite TV program? I still love Steven Universe, but this year I really got into Critical Role.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I’m trying to contain the rage I feel towards my apathetic and incompetent management at my job.

What was the best book you read? The Unnamed Midwife

What was your greatest musical discovery? Mother Mother

What did you want and get? By donating plasma I was able to save up enough to buy a new graphics card for my computer. I also got myself a Kindle Paperwhite because of how much fun I had reading my grandpa’s old Kindle while on vacation.

What did you want and not get? I still really want to own my own home, but that will come in time.

What was your favorite film of this year? Mary and the Witch’s Flower

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 24 – The Saturday before it I went to one day of anime Banzai with my baby sister. I couldn’t afford the whole weekend after moving. The day of my birthday I got in an argument with my mom over financial stuff. Went home, then had a family dinner in the evening.

What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Not having to worry about school this fall, and moving into a better home.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? Tank tops, snap backs, and ponchos

What kept you sane? Moving into a new place that doesn’t stress me out to come home to or to deal with neighbors, wasps, and bad management. My pets for snuggles and laughter. Dungeons and Dragons as a creative and social outlet.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I still remain very gay for Rebecca Sugar. If you like Steven Universe and haven’t listen to the official podcast I highly recommend it. It really is amazing to hear from the creators and actors about the love and personal experience that the show is built on.

Who did you miss? I miss my college friends. They’ve all moved or we’re estranged in some form or another. I’m very happy in the friend group I am now but it feels less like friendships I forged and more like something existing I assimilated myself into. It’s hard to explain.

Who was the best new person you met? Not necessarily someone new but I was very happy to reconnect with a friend from middle school that I hadn’t gotten to really spend time with in nearly a decade. Cambridge is my coworker now and it’s always a good day when we work together cause they have such a great attitude and are fun to talk to. They’re also the reason I finally went to SLC Comic Con :)

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. You live in the 21st century, take advantage of the medical and technological advances humanity has made. I went to a psychologist, an Ob/GYN, the dentist, and a chiropractor. I no longer have back pain or debilitating cramping and I’m on my way to managing my depression.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

Basically the whole song fits: Get Up by Mother Mother You want greatness, you wanna taste it You wanna be a king You wanna make it, don’t wanna fake it You wanna levitate You want love, want truth, wanna feel brand new You wanna do it You got dreams But there’s something in between, man And you’re stuck there underneath them So get up, get up Get up, get up Put your head on straight Put your head on Get up, get on, get out Get up; fly away, little birdie You’re so sad, you’re so gone, you’re so lost You’re so sad, you’re so down, I wanna pick you up and put you in the clouds You want love, want truth, wanna feel brand new You wanna do it You got dreams          And you wanna set ‘em free, man But you’re stuck there underneath them So get up, get up now Get up, get up now Put your head on straight Put your head on now Get up, get on, get out Yeah; fly away, little birdie Fly away little birdie For such a little thing, you sure are in your own way I’d love to give you wings, but babe you’ve got to grow them So get up, get up Get up, get up Put your head on straight Put your head on

[zimboxl]

Jargon Tourettes

Top 10 Overused Jargon 2018*

Overused Jargon (OJ) tells us what the media savvy think is relevant, useful, and popular. In some ways jargon is a gatekeeper, a cliquish code to separate those who get it from those who don’t. My selection is indicative of general trends with a bias towards the African arts and development worlds. These words are not sacred, and they need to be satirized and tested so that they don't become enshrined, unconsidered, shallow symbols of in-group identification. Perhaps this can help to prevent the alienating and misleading effects jargon can have. Consider this a satirical vaccination against sophistry and let’s hope for a better tomorrow where cryptic condescension gives way to shared comprehension.

Innovation

The elder states-person, the OG of OJ. 'Innovation' has somehow managed to remain atop the charts in spite of becoming a caricature of itself over the years. It also feels like we've been innovating for decades now, we might be due for some consolidation and refinement. Innovation's longevity is a product of its flexibility (it can mean many things), its vapidity (it can mean nothing), and the novelty-chasing tech-centric culture du jour.

Eg. “The Innovation Initiative was initially based on the premise that all change is good. It later became The Department of Unexpected Consequences.”

Engagement

Whether it's measured in links clicked, or viewing time, engagement is usually a euphemism for 'keeping an audience's attention more deeply for longer periods of time'. There's nothing necessarily wrong with this in itself, any creator wants their work to be engaging. Unfortunately, truly valuable engagement is about quality of experience, not just stats. It also turns out that trolling, click-bait, bot-baes, and other tricks work just as well, if not better than creating compelling, meaningful content - assuming that pure statistical engagement is the goal here. Even eliciting hate and outrage in the audience is preferred to eliciting the dreaded indifference.

Eg. “Once middle-aged super-users started gouging their own eyes out the e-ghetto slum lords sought to maintain high levels of user engagement by injecting digital crack directly into user’s blood streams via a fleet of nano-drones.”

Unpack

It's not mansplaining if you preface your long-winded speech with, “let me just unpack that before we move on...”  Poetic allusions to heavy baggage give this bit of OJ an ironic edge. Have you ever felt burdened by verbose unpacking? I have.

Eg. “As the morning's first speaker, I unpacked the topic of discussion at such length the moderator had to stop me so we could break for lunch.”

Girl Child

A steady climber over the years. Indicative of gendered global SJW trends, the Girl Child™ is now the holy grail of target demographics and beneficiaries. The term is particularly popular in development circles where its feminist paternalistic slant strangely fits the industry-wide vestigial-colonial vibe. Besides, 'Starving African' just feels so 1900s.

Eg. “Emergency! The ship is sinking! All women, girl children, and gender-non-binary-human-meat-sacks may board the life rafts first! The rest of you can fuck off.”

Decolonization

An up and coming term with the potential to rise even further in the charts. Its ceiling depends mostly on whether or not it remains a trophy word spoken in seminars and galleries. If it matures into active programs that directly enact de-colonial agendas the word may have to share the stage with other relevant but unsexy terms like 'supply chains', 'resource redistribution', 'local staff', etc. It also has immense potential as a linguistic camouflage for bad art. Those who criticize 'de-colonial art' may easily be shamed and dismissed as colonists, apologists, or sympathizers. The thoughtful critical landscape is pretty thin so similar strategies may be applied with other identity-centric words to shield questionable work from honest criticism.

Eg. “The former farm invader liberator had diversified his portfolio to include decolonizing luxury resorts, one free vacation at a time.”

Afro-Futurism

This once exciting term is at risk of becoming nostalgic dross due to how much it's been bandied about in African arts circles. It's a victim of its own success. A tell-tale marker of when a term becomes OJ is that it inspires satire of a higher quality and awareness than sincere works.

Eg. “Afro-futurism enables us to imagine a future where our collective conscious, aka Wakanda, has morphed into a touch screen cell phone that purifies drinking water, and cures HIV.”

Beneficiary

If a heroine feeds a starving village and no one sees it, did they all just starve instead? There can be no benefactors without beneficiaries and they must be documented, preferably smiling in situ despite the squalor that surrounds them. As a citizen of a country where most adults are unemployed I'd argue that employed development professionals should also be counted among the so-called beneficiaries. There's no shame in getting paid if you do a good job.

Eg. “As I saw the tears of unrestrained joy flow from the beneficiaries' eyes I knew my genocidal ancestors' crimes had been forgiven in full. If anything, I'd earned some extra credit for future generations.”

Toxic Masculinity

The shortest way to describe a Tarantino movie. Some people seem to believe that all masculinity is toxic, but we unfortunately don't have a popular catch phrase for them yet. Many men try to camouflage themselves by borrowing the props, costumes, and behaviors of their perceived superiors, essentially flaunting their overseer's whip. You know it when you see it.

Eg. “The game show host gave Chloe a choice between experiencing an unspecified act of toxic masculinity and ingesting mercury; Chloe chose mercury.”

Curate

Curating used to happen in museums and galleries, ideal environments for  showing others you have better taste and ideas than the unwashed masses. Now it's everywhere. Seemingly overnight the jargoneers stopped simply 'choosing things to sell in their shops' and started 'curating bespoke collections for their boutiques'. It’s the same thing, but with bougie overtones.

Eg. “The fuel station manager curated a collection of limited edition off-white sequined jerrycans for his most discerning customers.”

Interactive

I know what this word means to me, but after being assaulted by many misuses, and making many concessions for the sake of conversation and civility, I no longer have a clue what it means to the general public. I do know that in digital art circles it signifies 'cool', 'cutting edge', and 'dynamic'. At worst I've seen it used to describe a fixed work that people looked at without influencing in any way.

Eg. “The curator  of 'The Bricks are Present' was puzzled when the audience didn't transform into pro-bono builders despite the presence of the interactive bricks in the space.”

Conversation

Habitually misused by talking heads who would have you believe their one-sided monologues somehow constitute a conversation.

Eg. “Popular Instagrammer @Philosothot69 had an ongoing conversation with her thirsty horde of male fans wherein she mused about being more than just her looks while they sent her flaming eggplant emojis and tagged their friends.”

Problematic

Increasingly just a trendy way to add an air of faux-academic objectivity to ones' personal opinions and preferences. A newb might say, 'I didn't like District 9', but a true OJ guzzler will declare that it was problematic. Like many such words its rise began sincerely within relevant contexts, but it has since been taken up cynically in other contexts. In a few years it may just be something glib people say about petty things in the ceaseless quest to sound woke.

Eg. “When eventually Phil voiced his critical opinions about the concept sketches for the mural, Kuda quickly shushed him, reminding him that, generous funding aside, his uppity whiteness was problematic. Thus Kuda attained her black belt in the dark arts of juggling feminism and racial politics.”

Triggered

Triggered once referred to panic attacks that traumatized war veterans suffered after hearing loud noises or other shocking stimuli. Originally rooted in early studies of Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or shell-shock as it was known then, triggered can now be trotted out to describe how you feel when someone is wearing the same outfit as you at the grocery shop.

Eg. Overzealous auto-correct and my aversion for proof-reading ruined my broadcasted Annual Christmas Party invitation message. I got so triggered I like literally died.

* by 10 I meant 13.

[law-of-attraction-is]

How to Attract Wealth Instantly in 7 Simple Steps?

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Why do some individuals seem to effortlessly attract money while others almost repel it?Do the folks who have the cash know something that the rest of us dont?

Whats their secret?

If you are like most people, you probably have a life goal of achieving financial independence. Yet finding the pathway to wealth can seem elusive. And so like a hamster on a wheel, you continue to go to work, pay your bills and live paycheck to paycheck.

Sound familiar?

What if I told you it doesnt have to be this way? In fact, what if I said that you can attract more money into your life starting right now? And what if I added that you can move towards financial prosperity in 7 simple steps?

Would you think I am off my rocker perhaps a little nave? Thats OK, I dont blame you. What I am suggesting does seem a little out there.

For now however, all I ask is that you keep an open mind and continue reading.

Money and Mindfulness

Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated with money. Ive studied how people attract it and what they do in order to keep it. Perhaps my interest in wealth is one of the reasons I so frequently blog about successful people in our culture. If truth be told, my strong desire to learn about finance in large part informed my decision to earn a MBA several years ago post doctorate.

Looking back, the most valuable lessons I have learned about attracting wealth and building financial prosperity didnt come from courses in economic theory. Nor did they come from the Wall Street Journal.

Instead, these money attracting concepts came from the world of positive psychology, which is deeply rooted in mindfulness based thinking.

1. Believe your are worthy of happiness

Part of attracting wealth requires that you believe you are worthy of happiness. Notice I did not say you are entitled to happiness. The operative word is worthy. The secret to creating happiness begins with our self-view, which in large part can be strengthened through our morning ritual.

None of the other steps mentioned here can be taken until you truly believe you are worthy of happiness. In order for this to happen, you must let go of the guilt and shame associated with the past.

2.Focus on what you have right now

Many people fall into the trap of ruminating over what they dont have or what they have lost. This unproductive line of thinking begins the downward spiral of negativity, which is a repellant against the positive forces of happiness.

Instead, focus on all that you do have through the gift of gratitude. We have only this moment in time. Yesterday is gone. Focus on the here and now and learn from mindfulness teachers.

3.End the cycle of learned helplessness

To continue engaging in learned helplessness is to remain trapped in the povertys gravitational pull. You cannot attract wealth or other positive things into your life when your emotional and Karmic space is occupied with the words, I cant.

End the excuses of what you cannot do and begin to use the words I can. In other words, I can attract wealth because I am worthy of happiness.

4.Purge jealousies

Jealousy of another persons worldly possessions means that you are occupying your mind with an illusion. Just because someone is driving an expensive car does not mean they necessarily have money or that they are wealthy. Jealousy is a liar, projecting a false narrative that is almost never grounded in the truth. Let go of your jealousies and make room for joy.

Clear negative energy. Embrace the simple things and fill yourself with peace.

5.Respect the power of money

Money is the byproduct of your hard work and labor. When you disrespect money, you disrespect yourself. Respecting money means keeping it organized. It means tracking it on a regular basis. It means recognizing that money holds both restorative and destructive powers and that it is not to be handled lightly.

Money, when managed properly, has the power to grow and take care of you for many years to come. When disrespected, it turns atrophy and negatively impacts your future. Finally, respecting money means not using it as a temporary tool to boost self-esteem through unneeded spending.

6.Study wealth

Attracting wealth into your life requires that you go beyond wishful thinking. It means making a conscious choice to learn all you can about money and how wealth is accumulated. Examine the practices, beliefs and habits of enlightened people who have created and attracted wealth. These are your teachers.

Recognize that people who have true wealth do not wear flashy jewelry, drive expensive cars or wear designer clothes. In fact, the majority of millionaires are meticulous budgeters who have created their wealth over the course of time.

7.Give money away

This final point relates to the spiritual and Karmic power of money. When we give money to those who are less fortunate, we are helping to replenish the human spirit. Do not hoard money or it will leave you.

Instead, use your empathic abilities to determine who is in need and how you might help them. An example might be offering to pay for groceries in the checkout line for a struggling family in front of you. It could also mean donating your time, which is a form of money, to your favorite charity.

When you give from a place of genuine love and compassion to others, you make room greater happiness, which is the precursor to wealth.

Final Thoughts on Attracting Wealth

It is no coincidence that you took the time to read this article. You can absolutely attract wealth into your life right now by following the 7 steps that have been outlined here. Notice the title of this post read simple steps and not easy. Sometimes the most difficult things we do in life are simple in nature but that sure doesnt mean they are easy.

Change is a process that takes time. This is true of most things, such as a shift in how we think about money. It is also true when we work on ourselves, be it an attempt to understand our dreamsor engage in physical activity as a way of pushing back against depression.

Finally, remember that most people who are financially stable became that way through good old fashioned hard work and an honest, deep abiding belief in the self.

I am including a link to Deepak Chopras book on the seven spiritual laws of success. I hope you will consider reading as part of your journey towards financial freedom.