#and on top of that ive just been feeling awfully depressed for a while now. everything takes me so much effort and i honestly feel like shit

[bbael]

I want to explode into a tiny billion pieces lol

[oboevallis]

runaway

hey it’s been a hot minute, not really sure what this is ive have it in my drafts for a while, but i feel like everyone’s written this 😂 but i wanted to post something at least also ‘who is he?’ part 4 will be coming out soon hope everyone’s doing well

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it?” Amelia’s voice wavered as she struggled to keep her composure.

“I didn’t sleep with her!” Link exclaimed, slurring his words. “I just stayed with her.”

“Whenever something goes wrong between us you always go running to Jo. Just get it over with and fuck her already! She’ll be all the things I’m not.”

“You have no right to be mad. I poured my heart out to you, I’ve been planning for months on proposing to you. I love you Amelia Shepherd, but your so damn self destructive you’re ruining this for the both of us. I’ve done everything you’ve wanted this is just one thing I wanted. If anything I should be mad, but I’m being the bigger person.”

“You’re being the bigger person?” Amelia chuckled in disbelief. “Talk to me again when you’re sober.”

“Who said I wasn’t sober?”

“Please, part of Jo’s help sessions always result in the two of you downing a bottle of whiskey, which is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism.” As she said this she was aggressively packing her clothes in a suitcase.

“Not everyone’s a fucking alcoholic. Not everyone has to sit an a room with fucked up strangers complaining about their lives, when they did that to themselves.”

“You think I wanted to be snorting oxy off of the reception desk of a medical practice while I’ll my friends watched? Or stealing my brothers car and crashing it trying to find drugs? I thought you were different but you’re just like Owen.” That’s the last thing she said before walking into their sons nursery and scooping with up.

“You can’t take Scout.”

“I can because you’re drunk out of your mind, I don’t even know why I’m talking to you.”

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Amelia yelled before slamming the door behind her. She fought to get the baby in his car seat, she couldn’t seem to catch a break. She needed to get away, she needed to go back to her original refuge.

“Come on Scout, can we cooperate for mommy?” Amelia begged, fighting off tears as her son kicked and screamed. Despite being a movement baby he hated the car, specifically the car seat since no one could hold him. Eventually the baby was secured, and he quickly fell asleep, as he realized how he exhausted himself after his tantrum. Three hours into the drive Amelia immediately started to regret this, it was a 17 hour drive, and she was doing it alone with a baby who just barely turned one. No, she was doing this, she needed to. She’d be sure to take as many breaks as she needed. This was what needed to be done for her and her sons well-being.

After two hotel visits and countless stops along I-5 S she found herself in LA standing outside her sisters door, but couldn’t bring herself to knock. She knew Addison loved her but she couldn’t help already feeling the subtle condescension. ‘How have you already managed to screw this up?’ ‘I love you Amy, I do, but isn’t this a little extreme?’ ‘You’re clean, right? Because I’ll take you back right this minute’

Quickly she turned around to go back to her car to think about her next game plan before a voice stopped her.

“Amy?” Amelia jerked back around to be met with Addison’s confused yet comforting smile.

“Umm I’m vaccinated, but I got tested if that makes you more comfortable. I’m negative I-I just needed to get put of Seattle.”

“I know the feeling.” The older woman chuckled holding the door open wider to allow the two to come in. “Now let me hold my new nephew!” She squealed as she held her arms out for the baby, soaking in his tiny stature. “I miss when Henry was this little.”

“Where is the little guy? It’s awfully quiet.”

“They went camping, Henry’s been stir crazy for over a year and it seemed safe enough for the two to go away.”

“I’m sure Jake was thrilled.” Amelia smirked thinking back to the time the practice went on a camping trip together and Jake had almost refused to go hence his disdain for the wilderness.

“You know it.” Addison joked along, playing with the baby’s tiny fingers. The older woman then lead the way back onto the deck and settled on a lounge chair under an umbrella. Amelia followed behind and took out sunscreen from the diaper bag she was sure to pick up once they got to LA. “He’s absolutely adorable Amelia.”

“Thanks.” Amelia smiled as she lathered the baby’s extremities with sunscreen.

“Gosh i just want to eat him up.” Addison pretended to bite into him, causing the baby to shriek with laughter. Cracking the first genuine smile the neurosurgeon had since after Maggie’s wedding. “You know I was talking to Charlotte a little while ago and she mentioned she was going to go to a meeting if you want to go meet up with her, she still goes to the one near the pier.”

“Thank you, Addison.” It now felt silly to have been scared to talk to Addison, she always knew how to help the neurosurgeon. “Are you sure you’re okay to watch him?”

“More than okay.” Addison beamed, running her hand through the baby’s hair. “And even if you stayed I still wouldn’t let this little guy go.”

“I love you Addie.”

“Love you too Amy.” Addison assured as the woman walked out to her car, it’d be a lie if she said she wasn’t worried for her little sister. But she was reaching out for help, she wasn’t sure what the issue was but she was immensely proud she came to her and not a baggie of pills.

_______________________________________

“Don’t you think you should call her?” Jo asked as she prepared a bottle for Luna.

“No.” Link coldly said, cradling the baby in his arms.

“At least for Scout’s sake?”

“He’s fine, looking back Amelias made it very clear she’s the only parent that matters or gets a say.” Link bitterly replied.

“I’m sure it isn’t like that.” As much as she loved her dear friend, he couldn’t see where he also went wrong in this situation. “She loves you.”

“Not enough to marry me.”

“She isn’t ready.”

“Her and Hunt were off and on, and she accepted his proposal.”

“First off she had a brain tumor, and because of said brain tumor she impulsively asked him to marry her. She thinks clearly now, and I think she just wants it to work out and be right.” Jo turned around and sighed as she saw her friends annoyed look. “You’ve never been a marriage guy, where is this even coming from?”

“I don’t know it just feels right, i don’t want to lose her.”

“Your gonna lose her if you push her into this.”

“I move mountains for her, I’ve adjusted my whole life for her. It’s just one thing, one thing that I want.”

“Link are you stupid? This isn’t fighting over what couch you get this determines the rest of your life. And marriage isn’t all that, it doesn’t keep a person there.” Jo sighed, since adopting Luna she’d been thinking a lot about her ex husband, and how stupid the concept of marriage was.

________________________________________

“Has he called?” Addison cautiously asked as Amelia fed her baby.

“Nope.” Amelia popped the ‘p’. “I get that he hates me now, but I thought he’d at least check in on Scout.”

“He���s just upset.”

“I know, I just thought he understood. He’s nothing like Owen but since we moved into his apartment I just feel suffocated like I did when we were married.”

“Have you tried talking to someone, professionally?” Addison inquired, leaning further back onto the beach chair.

“What so they can silently judge how I have a perfect life but still feel terrible?”

“Amy, you know a therapist isn’t going to think that, their there to help you without judgement.” She stared at the woman for awhile until she came to a realization. “After Scout was born you didn’t have any postpartum appointments did you?”

“No, the world had shut down a week after he was born.” Amelia confirmed.

“Do you think your having a delayed postpartum depression reaction? I mean you were thrown into taking care of a newborn and three other kids who aren’t yours in complete isolation . Then On top of that you didn’t have time to grieve Christopher. It’s difficult on women who have lost a child previously when they bring home a healthy baby.” Amelia held back her tears, as much as she tried to focus on scout she couldn’t help but feel broken over the fact Christopher didn’t have the opportunities scout has.

“Pre-covid a day wouldn’t go by that I didn’t think of Christopher. Then I just got so caught up in everything, and I’d barely think about him. I mean I almost forgot his birthday.”

“You can’t feel guilty about that.”

“I j-just wish Link would get that I don’t want another baby.I mean he’s ten times more understanding than Owen was about my grief but, I just don’t want another baby.”

“You’re allowed to not want another baby, but do you think it has to do with Christopher?”

“I don’t think so, I just can’t love yet another person without losing myself. It feels like I already have, I don’t recognize anything about me. Surgery doesn’t even give me the thrill it use to.” The older women sat up and placed a reassuring hand on the younger ones knee.

“I’m gonna talk to Violet and have her refer someone to you. Then you’re gonna talk to Link and come up with a game plan. And I’m gonna be right here the whole time, you’re my family. Everyone here is your family we’ve got you.”

[pixelgrotto]

Sega and franchise decay

Sonic Forces, the newest 3D game to star a certain blue hedgehog, is out now and receiving middling reviews. Rather than talk about it, I’d rather discuss the 2D Sonic Mania, which came out a few months ago. I never got the chance to blog about it until now, but you can read my Steam review for what it’s worth. I would’ve preferred that the game be composed of all new levels instead of a few new ones and remixed oldies, and in some ways I do believe that Sonic Generations did the “celebration of past and future” shtick a tad better, but overall, I had a good time with Mania. The most impressive thing about it, in my eyes, is how well it captures that 90s-2000s Sega “magic.” It’s hard to describe this in words, but during those years the company’s output, especially their in-house, exclusive stuff, just radiated coolness and creativity that was a little different from what Nintendo was doing. Whether it was the neon visual smorgasbord that encompassed all of the zones in Sonic’s games or the Moebius-inspired fantasy trappings of the Panzer Dragoon series, Sega’s games often seemed fresher and sexier, with dashes of unexpected punk and sophistication in them that the Big N could never really capture. I mean, the run ‘n jump levels and cheery tunes of the Mushroom Kingdom in the Mario games were wonderful, but hell, Sonic 3 featured snowboarding action and a soundtrack that Michael Jackson worked on.

Unfortunately, while the Nintendo of 2017 is kicking butt with the Switch and has upcoming releases scheduled for most of their classic franchises, the Sega of 2017 is in a much different position, and the changes began after the sad failure of the Dreamcast in 2001, when Sega killed off its hardware unit. In the years since, the company’s slowly morphed from a creative house that bankrolled a franchise of games starring an alien-fighting aquatic mammal (Ecco the Dolphin) into a conservative organization that does NOT want to repeat the monetary losses that were suffered during the Sega Saturn and Dreamcast eras, and is therefore highly selective with what it publishes and develops. And somewhere along the way, most of the older franchises that Sega was known for went by the wayside, because their most recent entries either underperformed or they were considered too risky for today’s gaming environment. If you look at the company’s website, you can see a list of what modern Sega considers to be their top tier franchises, and most of them are Western ones that were acquired fairly recently, like Company of Heroes. As far as notable in-house Japanese stuff is concerned, you’ve really only got the Yakuza and Hatsune Miku games (guaranteed moneymakers in Japan, which is why they keep getting made), and Sonic (a guaranteed moneymaker in the rest of the world).  What happened to all those franchises of the past, then? Sega let them decay. Shinobi got its last release - a pretty good 3DS game - in 2011, and there’s been nary a word since. Anything is possible with ninjas, since Capcom brought Strider back from a 15 year retirement in 2013, but for now, Joe Musashi is AWOL. Ecco the Dolphin died in the Dreamcast era, Shining Force seems to have sputtered out after several PS2 and PSP releases that barely resembled the series’ strategy roots, and Panzer Dragoon vanished after Sega’s short-lived flirtation with the original Xbox in the early 2000s. The Oasis series (Beyond Oasis and Legend of Thor) never survived past the Sega Saturn, despite featuring excellent top-down action RPG gameplay that had the potential to go up against Zelda, if Sega had only invested the resources. While we’re on the topic of RPGs, Phantasy Star *sort of* still lives on as an MMO, but the single player entries in the series have long been dead, and even after five years, Sega has still refused to localize Phantasy Star Online 2 outside of Japan. And then we have two really depressing ones - Streets of Rage has been MIA even though Sega went out of its way to issue a takedown notice for a popular fan remake that was released in 2011, and Virtua Fighter, despite being pretty much the earliest 3D fighting franchise, hasn’t seen a real entry since 2006, and only exists as a cheap mobile game now. (I realize there are plenty of other franchises I’m leaving out here like Jet Set Radio, but I decided to limit my focus to games I’d played.)

In the aftermath of Sonic Mania’s release, there were a number of threads on NeoGAF (before GAF, well, imploded), speculating on what franchises should receive a “Mania” type resurrection. And if you’ve read up to this point, you can guess what my answer will be - damn near all of Sega’s old series could use this treatment. New versions of Shining Force and Panzer Dragoon that respect their legacy by emulating the style of their forefathers while introducing just enough new stuff to appeal to younger fans would absolutely make me lose my mind. But I feel that we’re unlikely to ever get a “Shining Mania” or “Panzer Dragoon Mania,” because the circumstances that brought us Sonic Mania are unique. Sonic has always had a robust fangame and ROM hacking community, and it was Christian Whitehead, one of those fan engineers, whose mobile port of Sonic CD just happened to be good enough to get Sega to hire him to port other Sonic games to phones. One thing led to another, and eventually Christian got tasked to take the lead in making Sonic Mania.  Sega’s other old franchises don’t inspire fans and homebrew projects in quite the same way, and even though Streets of Rage came close with that 2011 remake, Sega swooped in pretty fast to nuke that one from the net, and I don’t think they gave any of the former devs jobs. This is because Sega just doesn’t care about Streets of Rage, Ecco the Dolphin, or even Virtua Fighter as much as Sonic. The blue hedgehog is a long-term mascot who’s managed to survive oodles of so-so 3D games (like the new Sonic Forces) to still be popular 25+ years after his birth. He’s not seen as a risk to the conservative Sega of 2017. A new Oasis game, on the other hand, probably is, and why should Sega stretch their lessened in-house production studios on what might be criticized as a Zelda clone when they can instead make another proven thing - a new Sonic, or perhaps a Yakuza or Hatsune Mika spinoff? No, I think the only way some of these franchises could be resurrected is if the original devs manage to grab hold of the license and take to Kickstarter, as is the case with Shenmue 3, a rare success story in this day in age. (Emphasis on the word RARE…and I’d actually rather not call Shenmue 3 a total “success” until the game is out, to be honest.) Franchise decay isn’t unique to Sega. It’s an affliction present in many other production studios, from Square Enix (I miss you, Parasite Eve) to Capcom (the mobile Breath of Fire 6 does not count) to Konami (Contra, Suikoden, damn near everything). Even Nintendo, who have generally done a fine job at avoiding this by bringing Kid Icarus and 2D Metroid back from the dead, have seemingly gone out of their way to not make a new F-Zero game for an awfully long time. But Sega is definitely the king when it comes to the sheer number of oldies that could stand to be updated for a new generation, but won’t be. And Sega are also the only ones to tempt us with Sonic Mania, a game chock-full of easter eggs to old titles that also offers a template which would be PERFECT for something like Shinobi or Streets of Rage…but one that likely won’t be used. Because the magical Sega of yesteryear, the one that got Michael Jackson to fiddle with Sonic 3 and used to be oh so fresh and oh so cool, is not the Sega of today.  RIP, Shinobi, Ecco, Shining Force, Panzer Dragoon, Oasis, single player Phantasy Star, Streets of Rage and Virtua Fighter. Somewhere, in the same alternate universe that Sonic Mania manifested from, the Dreamcast did super well and all of you are on your tenth respective entries right now. 

It’s a blast processing fever dream, but isn’t it a nice one? (Header Sonic Mania screenshot taken by me. All the other pics I jacked from Mobygames.)

[k-renne]

IV

Chapter IV

Previously: I, II, III

A woman screams in the middle of the night, and terror strikes the village. A monster, a spirit, something had come in the middle of the night and taken the life of her first born son. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning.

You went about your day oblivious to the fear brewing around you, as rumors of monsters plagued people. “Did you hear about Mr. Wesley? His shop caught fire out of nowhere, fire so hot that it didn’t stop till the whole place burned down,” A woman whispered.

It’s difficult to do your shopping with such a limited amount of vendors, which was very strange, you weren’t aware of any holiday. The one’s that were there had this gleam of paranoia in their eyes, fidgeting and looking out for something. A man came running up to you out of the blue, yelling and crying, “They’re here! The Nightshade Witch is taking his revenge!” He shook you violently, before running of screaming.

You look to see what he was going on about, worried that Kylo was wreaking havoc on your behalf. You see something that you’d never see in this lifetime, at least not on this earth, hellhounds. Big black hounds with bloody jaws, singeing the ground with each step and fire in their eyes. You break out into a run. You had to get out of there before they spotted you.

Something had gone awfully wrong if there were hellhounds, they only showed up when a soul had escaped from hell or a soul was so corrupted that it no longer belonged on Earth. They were hunters, but they caused destruction in their path. If they were here, then possibly something worse was nearby.

Rey might know, you had to see her. First you stopped by your cottage to drop off your items, only to gasp when you see goblins ransacking your house. It was doable to deal with one, but there was at least a dozen and they’d easily outnumber you. Quietly, you snuck away from your cottage. It was better to be safe and cut your losses now, hopefully you wouldn’t lose too many valuables.

You knock on Rey’s door, she lives in a cabin by the lake not far from you, she answers visibly dishevelled and she looks exhausted. “Y/n, this is really not a good time,” She shakes her head. 

“Hey, I just saw three hellhounds and a dozen goblins robbing my cottage, there’s something going on that you’re telling me.” You snap. If this was Kylo you needed to know, maybe you could help in someway. Rey could see your panic, and tells you to come inside.

She’s not alone, Luke and Leia are there along with a few other faces you don’t recognize. “Everyone, this is Y/n, she’s a good friend of mine and she can be trusted,” Rey introduces you. They all greet you curtly, and you can tell that they’re meeting about something very serious.

“Did she say hellhounds?” A man, who you’ll learn is Finn, asks.

“Yeah, I can’t believe she’s alive,” A guy who you think is the one and only dragon rider, Poe Dameron, responds.

“This is about Kylo isn’t it,” You say, sadness evident in your tone.

“Yes,” Rey says. “And no,” Leia counters. Her brother, Luke, chimes in, “It’s about dark magic, and the one who has been trying to destroy this village, our family, and all that is good for the sake of his power. This is about Snoke, and the First Order.”

The First Order was the remakings of an old and ancient cult, now lead by Snoke, a dark magic user known for his sadistic tendencies. If people thought Nightshade was scary, those names were so unspeakable and unsurely that some believed the stories behind them to be a joke to scare children into behaving. But from the look on everyone’s faces, you could tell that this was very real.

“Ben my son, or Kylo, belonged to the First Order as an apprentice to Snoke who had been planting his seeds in my son for years. We believe he is on his own now, but he still practices dark magic,” Leia explains. Ben, that name seemed familiar to you. However you didn’t have much time to dwell on it as Rey spoke.

“I say that we go there right now, this is partly his fault anyways and he needs to be the one to kill Snoke,” Rey voices her idea.

“What happened to make him do all of these bad things to the village?” Poe asks. “Something has have to have changed,” Finn adds.

It couldn’t be, “Guys, I don’t think that stuff is because of him.” Everyone in the room gives you questioning looks. “I just know he wouldn’t hurt me, and I don’t think he wants to hurt anyone else either.”

“Yeah right,” Rey scoffs. Rey was still bitter over what happened, after what he did she still couldn’t forgive him.

However, Leia felt differently. “Does he care for you?” She asked. She needed to know, she believed what you said, believed in her son and that there was still good in him. To know that there was someone in his life that he had showed kindness to, would make her feel less worried about him.

“He saved my life, I think Snoke cursed me and he nursed me back to health from death,” You smile fondly in memory of how he took care of you. Despite what Rey said, you could never forget that act of kindness.

Learning that he was once in the First Order made things clearer to you, Kylo was just lost...and maybe he had escaped that place but he probably felt like he had nowhere to go. Your heart went out to him at that thought. Leia could see it too, your compassion for him. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one fighting to save her irredeemable son after all. “I think Y/n should go,” She suggests.

“What? No,” Rey fights. She doesn’t want to see her best friend get hurt.

“Why don’t you go with her, and we’ll see what we can do for the village” Luke proposes. With everything going on, as a non magic user it wasn’t very safe. You had few viable means to protect yourself.

Meanwhile Kylo was wallowing in his own misery with a bottle of whiskey, his last moments with you replaying in his head like a broken record. He wondered if things could be different, if he had been kinder, if he said something different, or if he didn’t lash out.

He had this foolish idea as well, to send you this letter and profess his feelings. He uncrumbled the ball squished in his hands, and read the words he wrote for you one lonely night.

It read:

My dear,

I’ve missed you terribly, much more than I can explain. You brought something to my life that has been missing for a long time, all I ask is if I could see you again. Just once, and I’d be happy for the rest of my life. If anything, read this poem and know these are my true feelings.

Oh, little light of mine how you set my heart aflame you’ve broken down my walls made home in my secret garden laying in the meadows of my dreams place a kiss on my cheek and I’ll never want to leave Oh, little light of mine I patiently await for the day that I can douse you in affection and cradle you with my love though it may never happen I’ll always be there ever loyal to protect your precious light

Love, Sincerely,

Kylo Ren

This was a letter that he’d never send, and in his anger Kylo threw it into the fire, watching the paper burn until it was ash. But the words rang true, his heart aching at the fact that he probably spoiled his chances with you forever.

It was like he was dealing with heartbreak, he couldn’t practice magic, could barely take a shower he felt so depressed. He knew the consequences to this, that he shouldn’t risk taking a break in his ongoing battle with Snoke, but at the moment he couldn’t bring himself to work in his depression. Not when he knew that he was finally becoming the nightmare that he feared, fighting on his own for so long was taking a toll.

A knock on his door stirred him from his thoughts, “Not taking customers,” He barked, taking another sip of his whiskey.

“It’s not a customer,” A familiar voice replied. Kylo jumped up from the couch, panicking as he realized the mess around him. You’d probably think he was disgusting, he hadn’t shaved in a few days and he probably smelled like booze. Another knock, this time more urgent and he didn’t have a choice but to answer.

He opened the door seeing you, and Rey, who did not seem very happy to see him. Suprisingly, you were smiling at him, “Hello Kylo.”

He was more upset than you thought; now you realized how you had hurt him by not visiting, treating him as some sort of monster even when he wasn’t. You were just afraid, but now seeing him made you realize he was not the one to fear. Besides, he looked so harmless this way, wearing a white top instead of layers of black. You thought that it flattered him, he looked good even if he was a little drunk. “H-hello,” He stuttered. His chest, cheeks, and ear tips bloomed red from the alcohol while his bottom lip looked particularly pouty. Actually, he looked really cute right now.

“Ugh you’re drunk! You reek of whiskey,” Rey scolded.

Kylo ignores Rey and turns to you, “Would you like to come inside?” He asks in the softest of voices. Though he knew that this probably wasn’t just because you wanted to see him, he was happy that you came here to visit him nonetheless. “I’m sorry it’s a mess,” He appologizes to you.

“No worries,” You shake your head. You’re caught in his longing gaze, molten eyes filling you with warmth as he shamelessly looks over you.

“There’s no time for you two to just stare at each other, we have business to get to!” Rey snaps.

“Right,” Kylo almost sobers up instantly. “Why is it that you’re here?”

You reply before Rey can say anything, “The village is in chaos, today I saw hellhounds and it seems like bad things are happening to everyone. Goblins are probably destroying my home as we speak.”

Kylo tightens his jaw, dammit. This is why he doesn’t take vacations. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault,” He takes the responsibility.

“I knew it Ren, then I have no choice but to cast-” Rey stands up.

“Wait!” You jump in front of him. It seemed like he had more to say.

Kylo sighs as he moves to stand beside you, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. “It’s my fault because normally I prevent these things from happening, but lately I’ve been distracted.” He looks at you when he says distracted, making you feel slightly guilty.  

“I don’t believe that,” Rey crosses her arms.

“You can give me an honesty potion if you want, but you know as well as I what Snoke plans to do. I am fighting him just as much as you are, if not more,” There’s an edge to his reply. He’s frustrated that his efforts have gone so unnoticed, when he’s slaved away for quite some time to protect the village as penance for his crimes against them.

As much as Rey hated to admit it, she knew he wasn’t lying. “Okay, fine. I think it’s time we put an end to this mess.”

“I’m ready, I’ve been preparing for a long time. We need to get her somewhere safe,” He points to you. He looks at you but it feels more like he’s looking through you, and towards whatever goal he has. It worries you, makes you think that he’s about to do something incredibly dangerous.

“She could stay with us,” Rey offers, talking about you like you’re not there.

“No, too risky. I know someone though, take her to Phasma and send her with this,” He says, giving a potion you couldn’t identify.

“Alright, see you later Ren,” Rey opens the door to leave.

“Hold on Rey,” You stop her from dragging you out the door. You run back to Kylo and give him a big hug, you didn’t want to leave without a proper goodbye. Kylo’s at a loss for words, he hugs you back but there’s something so melancholy in his eyes. Rising on your toes, you kiss him, hoping to make the sadness go away. You might’ve just made it worse, because now he looks like he’s on the verge of tears.

“Y/n!” Rey calls for you.

“Goodbye, Kylo,” You give him a final kiss on the cheek.

“My love,” He murmurs solemnly, just low enough so you can’t hear him.

When the door closes Kylo prepares his desk to work, carrying the Necronomicon from it’s dusty confines. He works late into the evening, until Rey finally returns.

“Is she safe?”

“Yes, but Ren you stink, please take a bath or something.”

Kylo looks in the mirror, brushing through his hair. The bristles make a strange sound, and he stops to check what it is. Two small bumps, one on either side of his scalp. Kylo almost breaks down in realization, it was finally happening. He was becoming a monster. Now, he’d never get to see you again, never get to hold you in his arms. The mirror shatters.