#and of fucking course I'm kidding about Dooku

[charmwasjess]

So, let's say George Lucas was more self aware producing/directing the prequels and hired you to reign him in/keep him on track. How would the prequels be different?

What a fucking FUN question. :D I've been chewing over this in my inbox for a couple days.

Honestly you couldn't pay me enough to write for Star Wars, and that's not just because I'd be fired on my second day for making it so gay. I think there absolutely are problems in the prequels, but I also think no matter what films they made, it was going to be a difficult tango of trying to keep an existing fanbase happy while attracting new ones, doing the old story homage but also not just retreading stale territory, and the fact that an entire generation came up with headcanons for what the Clone Wars or young Obi-Wan or Vader was like in that era, and no matter what you do, someone was going to be disappointed.

I also have a ton of sympathy for Star Wars writers in general - I see stories like Mike Chen who wrote the Brotherhood novel having to get the book together in three months over 11 drafts or the Rebels writers working unpaid nights and weekends to try to land the story they loved decently because they weren't given enough time or money. I don't know what it's like to write or create content for Lucasfilm, but I can't help but think of Warren Fu, who created the iconic General Grievous design for Lucas, later drawing himself as Sifo-Dyas being drained of blood to create Grievous. The metaphor he chose there is, um, interesting, to say the least, and I wonder how it reflects on his time at Lucasfilm. I see these anecdotes all the time of writers and creators working incredibly hard for little money or recognition and then their passion project gets changed or sidelined by the powers that be within the franchise.

ANYWAY THAT SAID HERE'S HOW I'D FIX THE PREQUELS- I think it's really a matter of redrafting what's there because so much of it is really good and has great potential. I just rewatched the Phantom Menace, so that's on my mind. Yeah, I remember being little enough that Jar Jar Binks was funny to me - I love Ahmed Best - but having just rewatched it, Jar Jar gets a ton of screentime and that could be better balanced. AND oofa-doofa, the racist accents/stereotypes. Cut cut cut. Rework.

Otherwise, I think there's a tendency - and some of it was the popular movie tropes at the time the films were going out - to rely on Idiot Plot. OOPS, Anakin didn't mean to go to the big space battle!!! He just won the day on accident!! To a lesser degree, many other characters make it through the movie by just sort of guessing and lucking their way into it as a narrative choice. Just going by the fact that the films need to be about the good guys losing because it's a prequel for a saga with no Jedi, I'd like a little bit more agency for them. More moments of saying "yes, I want to do this" and less "wow, what the hell is going on?!"

The other big change I'd make is give Obi-Wan a much larger role in the Phantom Menace, and Padme a bigger part in both AotC and especially RotS. (Actually, she really kicks ass in TPM. That moment where she shoots through the window and the duel of the fates music swells? Ascension guns!! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.) I think Anakin is the most sympathetic when he's seen through the eyes of characters who love him and vouch for him. And Obi-Wan is honestly barely in TPM - it's all Qui-Gon, who I love, but I could see the film being really successful through him as our perspective/focus character instead. The way that Luke Skywalker takes us with him on this adventure and shows us the story. Obi-Wan could do that very effectively. And as much as the prequels are about Anakin's fall, they're also ultimately a story of Obi-Wan's survival.

And I'd cut Count Dooku, for no reason other than I don't like how weird I got about that guy.

[galactic-rhea]

in regards to your padme post, what if padme WAS put into the space monk order and groomed by the literal devil alongside anakin? How do you think she would've turned out?

#you can't put tags in asks #but I'm doing it anyways #padme and anakin are some of my favorite star wars characters

The galaxy is fucked. That's it, thanks for your ask. /hj

The thing is that Palpatine is so...insidious (lol) that I fully believe he could groom anyone to be a Darth Vader if he has the opportunity.

Look at Luke, with Luke it didn't work because he didn't have years of manipulation and Luke did have more stable relationships and less all-consumming insecurities compared to Anakin, and a much less dogmatic understanding of bieng A Good Jedi (tm),,,AND LUKE STILL ALMOST FALLS.

Even if you want to take the sequels as canon...He also didn't have the time to groom Rey for years, and still almost succeds.

Padmé saw Palpatine as a sort of political mentor but could realize she was being played, but Palpatine didn't warp her into world-changing views.

But regarding your question, I think it would depend a lot and there's a lot of factors playing, like: Do she and Anakin bond? Why did Palpatine pick her? Or is this a reverse situation? Was she also brough as an older kid or was taken as a baby?

If we simplify it to "She was the one super strong in the force so Palpatine picked her for apprentice", yeah, I think we would have had Darth Amidala, perhaps less ruthless and murderous than Vader, more subtle and way more cold, but...idk, look at the other people Sidious got his hand into (Maul, Dooku).

If Padmé and Anakin had bonded, and Sheev had wanted Padmé as his apprentice, then I bet he would've find some way to get rip off of Anakin and anyone close to her, isolating and cutting away any ties to love or comforts is first and foremost.

Even if Anakin had been another apprentice to Sheev, then Palpatine was in for just some fun games and see how to get one of his apprentices kill, betray or in some way get out of the picture so only the best one remains.

Sheev is an incredible villain because he's always playing 4D Chess and he adapts his plan on the go.

When it comes to AUs like this, I think we're talking about the very human and sad nature that is being vulnerable to manipulation, no matter how smart.

Sometimes we want to think "oh if it hadn't been Anakin, if it had been -insert goodie good character-, things would've changed", but the fact is that no one is infalible. Groomers change their game and attack the weakness they see and adapt to their victim needs, and Palpatine is terrifying in that regard. And is a supporting system what helps people to get out.

Padmé is brave, smart and competent, but guess what, so was Anakin. And I think Palpatine would have exploited her weakness if he had chosen her as a victim instead of Anakin. But so would have anyone else. If Palpatine had chosen Obi-Wan, or Ahsoka, or Quilan, or Ayla, whatever, then we would have ended with a sith apprentice anyways; with their own particular personality and quirks, of course, and less unhinged perhaps because one of the biggest things in Anakin/Vader's views is that he was a slave and he sees the world in a very particular way, but yeaaaah.

If I must think of how could an evil Padmé would be...I think she would be very methodical and unlike Vader, she wouldn't be submissive to her "master" at all, she would plot against Sheev and harbour lots of hate and very little loyalty to him. She has the mindset of a queen, not a slave. In a way, that would make her more dangerous.

And I think she would ha v e some sort of…possesive views? Like, idk how to explain, kinda like how a queen sees a bestiary? Awesome, scary and cool beast to keep in a nice sanctuary, but they belong to her. I get this idea because of that bit from one of the novels, where she thinks that Anakin is like a vine tiger, dangerous and capable of murdering anyone else "but that runs to put his cheek against her and pur.r"

But like Anakin, then anyone can turn back as well and get away from the manipulation, and a sith Padmé could as well!

aLSO, before anyone says something because I'm starting to know how this fandom works... no, I'm not absolving Anakin of guilt, because victims can become abusers and should be held accountable. However, I am praising how terrifying Palpatine actually is when you think about it, literally any other character could've become what Anakin became had Sheev (or any other groomer, tbh) decided to play the cards that way.

Sorry for the long rambling I thing i sidetracked a lot, I hope at least it's a good answer nkljgndfjkgdfg

[sandwrrm]

I have numbers for the trash husband! 1-2-4-6-9-10-11/12-13/14

Yesssss, Pre "trash husband" Vizsla, let's fucking goooooo......

— a fun headcanon

He is surprisingly good at cooking— nothing fancy, just simple traditional dishes. Everything he makes is obscenely spicy though, even by mandalorian standards. Makes sense. Weeds out the weak, only the truly strong can stomach his food, etc. etc.

— a sad headcanon

Both of his parents were toxic and hateful in different ways— Tor Vizsla was of course a warmongering barbarian who founded the original Death Watch, and Mom Vizsla I headcanon as a cold and calculating woman who preferred to fight not on the battlefield, but with subterfuge and manipulation.

I feel like they had a loveless, abusive marriage that only got worse the further they settled into their opposing ways. The one thing they came together over was their goal to restore Mandalore as a galactic superpower with their clan at the head, and poured everything into grooming their son to take over in their wake.

I feel like Pre had no semblance of a normal childhood, every second devoted to brutal combat training with his dad or grueling political education pushed by his mom (her idea to send him to study on Coruscant at the same time as Satine— I headcanon she had a fixation on outdoing and undermining the Kryzes by infiltrating their own game of diplomacy and beating them from the inside, which was the origin story of Pre running for governor eventually.)

He definitely inherited all of his parents' strengths plus a heaping side of their worst traits, all with zero warmth or nurturing from either of them at any point along the way.

— a headcanon about their family

Okay enough bleak past family shit! Let's pivot to my "death watch succeeds" AU where he and Bo-Katan get married and have their own family 🥹

They have two daughters, one biological and one adopted/foundling, named Shae and Ranah after their favorite historic girlbosses prominent female Mand'alors. These two should by all rights be terrible parents, but I honestly feel like it would mellow out their unhinged sides slightly, and shift their focus from "conquest and wrecking shit" to "intense dedication to family" in terms of which traditional mando values they prioritize.

Pre, for all his other flaws, would I think be acutely aware of how shitty his own parents were and commit to not making his kids live through a similar upbringing.

— a headcanon to spite canon, specifically

I feel like calling it a "headcanon" is an understatement since it's, well, an entire verse, but as I keep mentioning I have a whole AU that explores what would've happened if Pre and Maul didn't fuck each other over and Death Watch succeeded in retaking Mandalore, the whole basis of which is spiting canon by keeping this dude alive, lmao

— a missing scene that definitely happened

This is literally a missing scene by virtue of it happening off screen in canon, but I would've loved to see his duel with Dooku after they had a falling out! Yeah yeah the "darksaber v. lightsaber fights are cool" aspect but also..... the sheer amount of drama and extra-ness the clash of these two would've exuded....

— I recognize that canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it:

You already know I'm going to say this but fuck his hairstyle from The Mandalore Plot, it makes me irrationally mad, I'm retconning it, he had a shaved head the entire time, etc etc

But on a serious note, why would he shoot one of his own men for no reason? Like I'm not downplaying the random murdering aspect. I absolutely believe he'd do this to an outsider (as we've seen,) but randomly murdering members of the small minority of mandos he supposedly wants to unite and needs the loyalty of to further his goals? Even for someone who is extremely impulsive and casually violent, this doesn't make sense to me. Boom, didn't happen, retconned.

(I'm literally just rehashing the things you and I already said we dislike about this episode lmao)

— something [other character] believes about them that isn't true

Satine thinking early on that he would be a good influence on Bo and steer her towards maturity and an interest in politics, and supporting the two of them getting closer based on that. Oops 😬

(I mean.. Satine trusting him in general but that's canon and not a headcanon so!)

— something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

Gonna jump in and defend my boys the Zabrak brothers for a second..... they were not monsters or thugs, at least not at their core, not even by virtue of being Sith/dark side force users. They were chronically subjugated, objectified, and used as pawns by the nightsisters and by the Sith. Poor dudes barely ever had a chance to organically form their own personas, goals, allegiances, etc. without being directly or indirectly influenced by an outside party's motivations. But anyway that's a rant for another post. Moving on!

— their happiest memory

I mean. Definitely the fleeting moment of retaking Mandalore, having his entire life's purpose be fulfilled, and finally having it all.... for a brief blink of time before it all inevitably went south.

— their worst memory

Being sentenced to exile on Concordia as the civil war came to a close. The shame of his once great clan eroding to a shadow of what it once was, the traditionalist faction as a whole being weak and decentralized to the point where it took such little force to drive them off-world and keep them there. I imagine this was a "worst memory" and a gateway point to further radicalization for many trad mandos of this age/era.

Ask meme post for anyone who wants it!

[palpipeen]

And Nothing Bad EVER Happened!AU Brainstorming

Y'all know the drill: If you're under the age of 18, DNI with this post/this blog. Nothing NSFW under the cut, but just in case~

So I'm going to put a bunch of these ideas in a fic/under a specific tag at some point, but I'm Having Thoughts™ about what exactly happens and how things work

First of all, nothing bad ever happened doesn't mean that nobody dies. Lots of people died. It was a fucking war, of course people died. But the war DOES end early in this AU - maybe Dooku gets killed by Anakin and Obi-Wan/the Jedi and Palpatine gets discovered. Maybe not killed so there's still high stakes, maybe the rest of the war efforts are spent trying to kill him and protect whoever will replace him (Bail Organa Bail Organa Bail Organa Bail Org-).

O66 obviously does not happen because like - come on. Palpatine was right there, how could they not sense the Dark Side just pouring off of him once he's realized he's been discovered? IDK, I can't claim to know all there is to know about Star Wars lore, but maybe someone manages to prevent him from sending the order out. And maybe the inhibitor chips are very secretly removed or deactivated in order to not arouse suspicion. (For personal reasons, I think the most important ones to start with would be the Guard/the 501st/212th.)

Honestly in this AU, I think one of the most poetic things that could happen is Anakin sacrificing himself to kill Sidious. Maybe it almost works - maybe while Sidious and Anakin are facing off against each other, Siddies almost successfully talks Anakin into turning against the Jedi. He's faced a lot of hardships becoming a Jedi - Sidious can offer him power, and can help him ensure that Padme never dies. But in this AU, Anakin perceives that as a threat against his wife. And his twins, who were born mere hours before this big fight. So he dies for her and his kids, in front of the members of the Council who'd come for the final showdown. IDK who lands the killing blow - maybe Obi-Wan, maybe Plo Koon, WHO KNOWS. But because of this, Anakin is still lauded as a hero, as the chosen one, because he resisted Palpatine's attempts and whittled him down so he could be killed.

Padme is never quite the same after his death, but I think she lives long enough to see Luke and Leia make it to their preteens-young adulthood. She's still a senator and a strong woman, but her heart just sort of breaks slowly over the years and she never recovers. I'm not gonna give her Disney-Mom-Syndrome and say she gets killed off while they're itty bitty children. Luke and Leia know that their parents loved them.

So obviously, with their dad gone, everyone around the Skywalker-Amidala family take on the 'it takes a village to raise a child' mentality. Uncle-Obi is arguably the closest father figure they have, though Rex and Cody come in at a very close second. Ahsoka also is a steady figure in their lives, and if anyone were to train Leia I could see it being her. (Also Leia and Padme have a very similar dynamic to Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds.) Luke I could see joining the Jedi Order later on down the line.

Speaking of later down the line: Serious reforms are made to the Jedi Code. Particularly the age at which children are taken in. Padme in particular is a HUGE advocate for this, bringing up Anakin's case and treatment to drive home the point. The Jedi Order isn't perfect, but nothing ever is in this universe.

Speaking of things not being perfect...how 'bout them Clones?

So for the clone army, when the war ends and the inhibitor chips are all either removed or deactivated safely, the Republic and the clones are just staring at each other like 'what do.' Because seriously, what do you do with hundreds of thousands (or a million, I know the sources aren't reliable about that) of cloned soldiers who are now left without a war to fight in?

Well, first of all, give them fucking basic human rights. Yet again Padme and Bail are the ones to spearhead this, with the Jedi Order being very loudly supportive of this. It's pretty much a unanimous decision, though I can see the seeds of future villainous bullshit being planted by those who drag their feet about it.

More in part 2 bc tumblr hates blocks of text HEE HEE

[charmwasjess]

I think Rael Averross could have saved Anakin. If somehow after he had avenged his mom but before he got married if Obi-Wan had sent him off to spend a few weeks with Uncle Rael he could have sorted that boy out.

I think a lot about this. Anakin came to the Temple as an older child and fitting in was hard? Yeah, Rael too. He wants to do street racing instead of study? Yeah, Rael too. In love with Padme? Why don't you two just fuck, get it out of your system, kid. I bet a little weed would mellow Anakin out - turns out, Uncle Rael is selling it.

I'm having fun of course, but I actually think that Rael could have done a really good job. I love the scene in the Master and Apprentice novel where he explains Dooku's eccentricities to Padawan Qui-Gon "he can seem stiff because he IS stiff" - the way that he's funny, empathetic and understanding, but there's so much love. He wants Qui-Gon to feel reassured and laugh, but also to understand Dooku, who Rael clearly loves deeply - he was hugging him and joking with him the scene before. He cares about the lineage and views himself as a part of that family with a vested interest in helping them grow and work together. With Qui-Gon dead and Dooku gone, Rael could have been a really strong, positive figure for both Anakin and Obi-Wan both when they were starting out.