#and of course I’ve been reading and re-reading the stuff I’ve written — because I actually like it!!!

[sintreaties]

Writing the 1st draft: yayy :)) so nice so funny so coo—

Having to wait at least a few weeks before touching the last draft: I think I’m gonna kill myself, actually

[perryavenue]

rainjoy Has A New Post. It's Personal

rainjoy is one of my favorite Klaine fanfic authors. Their first Klaine fanfic was published on LiveJournal in 2011, their last in 2021. Health issues have become more intense over time. Their most famous works, All The Other Ghosts and Grey, were published in 2012 and 2013. So those who've joined the fandom fairly recently may not even know about their other fics, the most recent one being from 2021. rainjoy has written Klaine in every genre: high school!Klaine, college!Klaine, married!Klaine, supernatural!Klaine, fantasy!Klaine, and even superhero!Klaine.

Here is a link to rainjoy's works on Live Journal

Here's a link for Dreamwidth

I hope that you'll help boost it by re-blogging. Thanks in advance, @klaineccfanficlibrary and @todaydreambelieversfic

This is rainjoy's post from today (October 27, 2023).

"Hello, I’m still alive.

Hello, I do mean it, hello anybody around to see this, I really hope you’ve been well, I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I *haven’t* been well. But I have, over a course of fucking months, actually written something, so I’m writing *this* here so I don’t need to leave a novel-length author’s note on it, as some kind of explanation of where I’ve been.

Largely, I’ve been in bed, I’m likely going there again after posting this, they need to invent new words for how tired I am so much of the time, my upgraded wheelchair is worth about as much as my *laptop*, my life revolves around Can I? Probably not. and lots and lots and lots of ‘resting’. I’ve not been well, but please don’t worry, I’ve not been unhappy. This is the golden age of being ill, the sheer quantity of stuff out there to amuse the bedbound – I have books and podcasts, all of Netflix, I practically live on Sky: Children of the Light, when I’m too dopey even for that I have Animal Crossing, when I am genuinely such a puddle of not-human lethargy that all I need is for time to pass until I feel just slightly better again I have videos of other people playing video games on YouTube and I’m sorry my darling baby moths I will pick you up and help you every single time but it will never not be funny watching someone go through Eden for the first time on YouTube, it just never will not make me laugh, oh my gods I’m so *sorry* my loves <3

So anyway, there’s all that, that’s where I’ve been, life really does not work out the way you planned it to, huh? Because outside of my bed, I know I have messages and emails and someone got a tattoo?? You got a tattoo and I’m just really sorry I haven’t been in touch, my energy has to be paid out like a miser, if I want to wash my hair then wow the world is really not getting anything else out of me, you know? But I am still here, and I do still love the things I love. I still think all of it is worth it. I think the world is a *lot* of fun, though I bear in mind that still, and always, we live through very frightening and distressing times. Which actually makes me think we need to cling to the things we love *more*, not less, love makes better people of us, when we let it.

So I did watch the new season of Good Omens when it came out, and safe to say I was not impressed, but it did jog in me the memory that didn’t I write a sequel to it? Yes I did, and it involved *all* that blood. But I reread it – it’s like reading a stranger’s writing after so long – and that jogged the memory: Didn’t you start a sequel to *this*?

Yes I did! Two thirds written, actually, hurrah for my past self. The last third took, I don’t know, when did the new season come out, it took that long. I used to sneeze out this sort of thing. This, now, is getting at my arms, it’ll be another lie down soon. But anyway, the point of all this: I live yet. In the next few days I *hope* I will be formatting and posting a sequel to But Thou Readst Black because of course everyone wants *that* back in their heads again, my gods. And I hope hope hope you’ve been well, I do think of people while I’m stuck doing nothing but pooling my brain out of my ears on YouTube. Look after yourselves, take care of each other, my gods you tattooed yourself I mean more power to you but it alarms me when things I make turn out to be *permanent*, you know? It feels like I barely touch the world anymore, my circumference has become so small, but it makes the world seem only more precious. Take good care of it, and of yourself as part of it. And very, very much love, to anyone remaining to see this, much love <3"

[balrogballs]

I’m curious how you “plan” your fics in your notes! If it’s okay with you to share your secrets ofc… I always face the trouble of wanting to write a story where “nothing happens” and its more an exploration of ones character. But then i never know when to start? I always feel like stakes need to be involved in order for me to write 😖

Of course, perfectly happy to share!

So sorry it took me a day or so to get to this, I was travelling and wanted to answer properly haha. Below the cut!

Just a note though this is just my chaotic little process and is by no means particularly expert/useful - I do put in quite a bit of work into them but I defo don’t take myself too seriously so this could fully just be me rambling! Also I am still in my cold tent hence forgive typos!

Have also attached some examples of my plan, from The Sword Tree oneshot but ofc no need to read that, its just an overview of the process :)

With the below re, planning, this applies to anything that isn’t in my Feral Children series - that series is a bit more loosely planned in that I centre them all around family/parenthood so its a bit more fun. I like to balance posting both kind of fics, and I’d say Cast in Stone would be the sole story where it’s both.

Normally I like to think of a few themes first, normally one or two for each, and theyre quite basic/expansive. In False Spring it’s an eldritch manifestation of sea longing as chronic illness in Elrond, and then in Rats of Valinor, the spiritual sequel, it’s how said illness isn’t ‘cured’ in Valinor, with a side of diasporic ‘reverse’ longing. Then I write, normally by hand bc I’m a dweeb, a general thematic outline of what I’d like the story to convey. Here’s an example that I’ve shared before from the Sword Tree.

Since with most of these stories, nothing very much ‘happens’ in terms of story beats, eg. climatic point of Rats is literally Elrond seeing a rat, the one for Sword Tree is Maedhros chopping down a tree, the “drive” is mostly emotional rather than action based. So I plan out the emotional arc, and then decide the best ways to convey each aspect of it. I don’t really write this out, but have a vague idea in my head.

However, and this doesn’t really apply to the lighter feral children stories at all as I dont plan those, I do spend a bit of time on the prose and symbols/elements for each aspect before I write the story itself — this is me being unimaginative actually, as I’m writing in a very similar style and process to my novel writing, where again, the prose matters more than the narrative arc. I actually find it a lot harder to write long plot driven stories, and hope to challenge myself on this front in the future.

But yes, here, I talk to myself a bit on Google Docs, think of interesting ways to say what I want to say, tighten some important bits of prose before I actually put it all together - here’s an example, again from The Sword Tree just to keep it consistent!

And then I just write it! Most of the dialogue, and definitely all of the humour/random observations/inserts are written as I go, and I’d say my general narratorial style is conducive to this as for the most part it follows a somewhat ‘storyteller’ style, which works well with said random inserts or fourth wall breaks so to speak - I actually very much played this up with Cast in Stone for narrative/plot reasons, as anyone who’s read it would know haha. I will say though, said storytelling style works nicely with Tolkien due to how the original books are written, and is probably why I’m so compelled to and enjoy writing for this fandom, but it’s not read too well when I wrote for, say, Naruto haha.

Anyway hope thats helpful and that I havent been just chatting out of my arse for such a long time! Sorry for the lateness as well, I wanted to answer properly and just really didn’t want to be the person that says “oh haha i just write xoxo” because wayyy too many people in litfic say stuff like that lmao

I also wanted to say this is by no means expert advice or even that this is very good advice even - it’s just what works for me!

[moistvonlipwig]

supercorp 1 8 9 16 20

right on 🫡

What is my absolute favorite of their scenes and why do I love it so much?

Oh I don't know...there are many good classic scenes. For the sake of spicing it up I'll talk about a moment that I don't often see people discuss and that is actually from an episode that I otherwise don't really like, namely: the scene in 5x19 where Kara is on the ground with kryptonite coursing through her veins and then Lena's anti-kryptonite device flies in and attaches itself to her suit and before it's even started working, Kara smiles and laughs. Just...the fact that Kara is in (if we are to believe her assessment in S3) incredible pain and that doesn't even matter to her because Lena's on her side again. I think that's a really sweet moment and it captures a lot of what I wish S5 & S6 had been about for them lol.

8. Am I most interested in fics about them that focus on fluff, angst, humor, smut or actual plot?

Angst, humor, & plot are all good with me. Fluff & smut tend to bore me.

9. What is my ideal endgame for them?

Hm, I could envision several good endgames for them (none of which include Lena being a witch or Kara becoming editor-in-chief or revealing herself to the world lol). I think ideally Kara would eventually become known as Superwoman and maybe would become more of an independent freelance journalist, while Lena would run the Lena Luthor Foundation which presumably funds Good Things. Lena would keep kryptonite on hand in a secret vault in case of emergency and Kara would be cool with it, and Lena would also design all kinds of suits & accessories for Kara (sorry Brainy but your Supergirl suit design was not very good). I like the idea of Kara having a longer, more stately cape especially as she grows older and more confident.

I do think they'd both want to get married, probably in a Kryptonian or Kryptonian-inspired ceremony. I think they should get a cat or a dog or both. I like lena-in-a-red-dress's fic where Lena adopts Dex-Starr the Red Lantern cat so let's say their cat is Dex-Starr. And their dog can be Rex from sango-blep's comics. Rex is cute.

I like the idea of them having kids, though I also think they'd be OK without them. If they did have kids I think the kids would be Luthors, not Danverses or Luthor-Danverses. They would also probably be created via birthing matrix or a similar technology invented by Lena because I can't imagine either Kara or Lena wanting to get pregnant lol. I like Leo Alexander as a name for a boy. I'm less sure about names for girls (maybe Sasha? Elizabeth? Linda?) but I don't like Lori, I know that's popular because of an old comic where Lena has a daughter named Lori but I am not a fan.

16. What are three of my fic recs for this ship? And (in the event that I’ve written something for them) one of my fics involving them that I’m most proud of?

Catfishy Business by whythinktoomuch is an iconic and deeply funny fic.

lena dies on a wednesday by karalovesallthegirls is a GREAT time loop fic that ingeniously puts us in the shoes of someone who doesn't know they're in a time loop. I think you've said you've read it? Still, it bears re-reading.

There are so many other great fics I could rec but I'll rec one that is a little bit lesser-known, since I've already named two very well-known fics. Which is and darling (is there a cure for this hunger?) by m_oliverfan, aka There Are Consequences To Sending Nyxly To Eternal Torment Land, Actually.

I've only finished one fic for SC so far which is laid in thine enemy's grave? - in truth, i dig it, which I believe you've also read. ^_^

20. How and when should they have gotten together?

I think in a better S5 where they started talking to each other sooner -- end of 5x13 would've been a good time -- and had some time to work through some stuff, I could see an end-of-S5 confession or kiss working. In terms of the actual show, which was never very good at writing romance, I think a Korrasami-style 'they end up together or are implied to end up together as part of Kara finding herself' would've charmed me.

[alldaysarenights]

On Discworld…

…and the things I’ve learned so far.

I know, I’m late, but sometimes it’s fun to discover something on your own and in your time.

Recently, I’ve started reading the Discworld series, beginning with Rincewind. And there are so many tiny things I’ve discovered, I don’t even know where to start.

I’ll give D&D a go first. As a passionate player and also a I-once-ran-a-short-campaign DM, I couldn’t but notice all the references there to find, especially with Rincewind. Right now I’m 4 books into his story, barely at the beginning, yet I’ve laughed my a** off a few times. Always wondering what he took from a former campaign. Well, at first I wondered if Sir Pratchett actually played. The internet was quick to answer the question, yes, yes of course he did. Would have been more surprised, if he didn’t.

I discovered stuff about the gods playing dice and there are sorcerer, barbarians and the luggage, which slightly reminds me of a mimic. But I guess this beast came afterwards. I told the other players of my group, and they agreed on the resemblance. Now we definitely have the plan, to tame a mimic, lol.

I could quote you so much stuff, but I’d fancy you going on an adventure and see it for yourself. Read the books, assemble some good friends, and have some fun on a silly campaign. Not necessarily in this order.

Next thing that keeps popping up in my mind, while reading, is Good Omens. I came from the Neil Gaiman side, getting lured in by Morpheus, whom I met doing some research. My comic book dealer was happy to help. Naturally, there was a point where I did read Good Omens. And it was weird, this was Gaiman, but also not, and it was so funny. I knew one day I would have to read Discworld. Unfortunately, I was a bit discouraged by the massive amount of books. The problem sorted out itself, after a friend, I’ve talked to about it, enabled me to read them.

With it came a list in which order I should proceed, so I happily jumped in, secretly nurturing the idea of reading all the books within a year. If it works out, no idea, we’ll see. If so, I might write another article on the experience.

Anyway, the point is, knowing Good Omens well as for watching the series multiple times and doing the same to the book (reading actually), I couldn’t but notice some stuff that definitely came from Terry’s side. Like phrases, he kept using. I did read: “Not as such” as an answer more than once. No matter who said it, in my imagination it was Crowley for a split second.

The first book got me so confused, I completely forgot that this was Terry Pratchett. I caught myself thinking, I was reading Neil Gaiman. This set my brain on halt and the world stood for a second. Amazing what books can do to you.

I’ve realised Death and the horsemen and how they seem unable to start a proper apocalypse. Also, sometimes there were phrases sounding a lot like Agnes Nutter. As well as the tone it is written in, the tiny wordings you sometimes aren’t aware of as an author. And it led me to the conclusion, (of course there is no other evidence and I could be totally wrong), that Neil must have invested a lot of time in re-reading the Discworld or maybe already know them by heart. For some of the things I’ve realised definitely played a part in GO2.

It is amazing how much two people can morph into one, and yet there must be a lot of work behind the scenes. I for my part can only hope that my writing buddy and I can get to this point some day. At least I’ll have to convince him to write a full-grown novel together first.

So you might ask yourself, and I know because so did I, what’s the whole point of this article? Fair enough. I came to the conclusion, that fun expands with knowledge. And I know, my sense of fun probably differs from that of others a lot. But if you are able to grasp those tiny hints and hidden pleasures, it can make a story twice as joyful.

So go out there and consume all those stories. Not just by reading. Listen to people telling their stories, watch movies, series, anime. Maybe go to the opera or watch a play. Memorise a poem or play a game. Find the medium which suits you well but keep on searching, you’ll never know what you might learn from it and what pleasures and magic are hidden in those stories. Because our world is built, or maybe better, powered by storytelling.

[sheydgarden]

Question: I am ethnically Jewish, though not culturally (complicated family history). I read your book on the roots of Antisemitic origins of Solomonic magic and wanted to ask:

If working with the Ars Goetia as entities themselves may be problematic: could reframing and restructuring the paradigms to re-imagine the listed demons and create new demons to work alongside be a better solution? I do enjoy the recent demonological work I’ve started but seeing some of the origins, it makes me wonder if my workings could be adjusted by basing my rituals in values I personally have and reframing it away from the work found in Solomonic Texts.

You had said in your Zine you yourself had worked to strip the Antisemitism from the Solomonic Imagery and parts of the practice and I was wondering if you had any advice on that process because I do find it fulfilling to ritually work alongside entities like this but am wondering how to do it in a better way?

hi! i'm gonna answer this one publicly so that i have something to refer folks to here when they ask me this same question (which i've gotten before), hope that's cool! also, apologies for the length of reply, but that's what happens when you open this particular box with me, haha.

i'm just gonna give it to you straight (and this is my opinion, of course, i know there are plenty who disagree with me! but you asked me) - i don't think there's anything you can do to "Solomonic" magic to render it not antisemitic. the antisemitism isn't a nasty veneer you can scrape off to get at some good stuff underneath - it's baked in. the entire premise of a book about a "powerful Jewish magician" who worked with Christian demons (who themselves are just a mish-mash of names & concepts from various cultures) is antisemitic. in the case of the Lesser Key specifically, we're talking about a book most likely written & distributed by Christian clergy (that's who had access to the education & tools required!) who were at the same time actively contributing to Jewish genocide. it's the foundation of the thing.

when i talk about my sigil artwork that uses grimoire-inspired imagery, i'm talking purely about holding onto an aesthetic, a visual language of lines. i can take out antisemitic visual signifiers easily because i'm only working with an image out of context. i don't think it's possible to remove antisemitism from the concept or the practice of Solomonic/ceremonial magic, at least not without completely altering it at its core - and then why bother basing anything on it at all? (i'm a Jew, not a western occultist, so i haven't tried)

i think really considering what exactly it is you've been getting out of this might make things clearer for you in terms of how you want to proceed. if it's the "Jewish" flavor, there's a whole world of actual Jewish folklore & mysticism, complete with demons of our own - you mention having Jewish ancestry, but not being culturally or religiously Jewish, so i would definitely recommend making a connection to Jewish community & learning a lot before you dive into any kind of Jewish spirituality. if it's just the concept of calling on entities via ritual work - why these? why not your own inventions? the demons listed in the Lesser Key were pretty much invented during the Renaissance, even if some of their names come from older sources. occultists combined, embellished & invented them to fit into a Christian theology, using a faux-Jewish origin story in order to lend them both more credibility (in a time when Jews were literally equated with demons!) and some spicy exoticism. i'm pretty baffled as to why so many folks still want to base a spiritual practice on that, beyond the fact that they're considered cool and/or sufficiently edgy if you grew up Christian.

if i'm being more blunt here than i was in the zine, it's because we're solely in "personal opinion" territory, and my honest opinion is that whatever folks find enjoyable about ceremonial magic could be better put to use in a framework that leaves Judaism alone entirely (and either honestly calls itself Christian - which it historically is - or creates a new cultural/religious system to operate under). i hope this was helpful - thanks for taking the time to read it!

[agirlandherquill]

Written In Smoke - The Inceptive Letter

Now, for the first post of this series I thought I’d begin with something simple, explaining the name - Written, because of course I’m a writer and I adore the clickety-clack of keys (and writing with a fountain pen in a notebook when I’m outlining plot, which is a new little venture I’ve begun doing) and Smoke, because it’s a weekly account of events, nothing is going to be completely solid, and my memory will have gaps even if I attempt to note things down, and also because much like the flow of ink upon paper, life is similarly fluid too, in my mind at least, it’s very much like smoke - full of substance, beautiful, chaotic, and full of little moments (which I completely adore) and thus the use of smoke, because little moments disappear so quickly but the remnants remain with you forevermore, and that’s as much of an explanation as my mind can conjure, which for me at the very least, composes the introduction to this series!

And now to move on to the main substance of this post - much like the ingredients of a perfect dish, the parts are still a work in progress, so bear with me whilst I work out which to include and how to structure it

 (And come up with working titles for each section, which is part of the fun!)

A Glimpse Through Time - little bits about me and what I’ve been up to this week

This week marked the end of a chapter, a very important one, because I completed (some may say survived, barely) my final three papers and today was my final day of academic normalcy - everything from here-on-out is completely and utterly unknown - no more Lit, Bio, and Chem to worry about for the summer at least, which is very, very daunting but I did it, I made it through and hopefully my work paid off - we shall see in a few months time, but i’m not ready to think about that yet - Having to say goodbye to the people who have taught me for the past few years was difficult but I made it through with no tears, a few hugs and cards written, which was lovely, truly, and I’m grateful for every minute of it.

Other than completing the final obstacle toward the free-fall that Is adulthood (I say that as though the feat isn’t impressive, because it sure would be to me two years ago), only a few things have happened this week:

(I’m making this a list because who doesn’t adore lists? Perhaps only me, but that’s more than okay)

Stuff Your Kindle Day was yesterday, and my poor, poor kindle has to suffer with the acquisition of 50-odd books (I haven’t dared to count past that, and it was my first actual SYK day despite owning a kindle for 9 years), and I have no idea if it has the storage for it, so that’ll be fun to work through

I made a bet to watch star-wars, now of course i’ve seen most of it (movie-wise, definitely, and 3/4 of mandalorian minus s3 because let’s face it, I’m as behind on that as I am with Witcher, which is soon to be rectified but anyway redirecting back to Star Wars) but very little of the shows and it’s been so long I hardly remember the plots and such, which I’m very much looking forward to re-experiencing for the first “proper-ish” time - so I’m starting with Solo, then steadily working my way through ANH, ESB, ROTJ, Mando S1, Mando S2, Boba Fett, Mando S3, TFA, TLJ, TROS, TPM, AOTC, Clone wars (movie and plot-vital eps, I was given a list), ROTS, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka - all of this in exchange for my friend to watch The Boys (I’m going to rewatch it all, then finally see Gen V, hopefully in time before S4 ends and I can watch the last few eps as they come out, like I did with S3)

I decided I want to go on a trip over summer, just me, which is frankly terrifying but I’m really excited - I’m thinking of Bath, possibly, because the Jane Austen Museum is there (Persuasion is the love of my life and i’ve only read it twice, I also need to read more than simply that and Pride and Prejudice) and a few doors down is Mary Shelley’s Museum too! It’s a trip that’s doable in a day, by train, which is pretty perfect for my first solo excursion - so bear with me since that’s in the works

To end this list I’m slipping in a note about a brief-exchange that my delusional mind brands rom-com noteworthy (only it’s not, unless it maybe is? i’ll leave that to the reader to decide), I gifted my chemistry lab-partner a chocolate bar and a note of gratitude because it’s down to him that I survived the practicals (only kidding, I’m not THAT dangerous, but we were the most successful pair in the class which was pretty awesome), and enjoyed the chem course even more than I thought I would - and on the final day (today, insert anxious and clueless screaming because it feels far, far too soon for everything to be over) on the way out, he gifted me something in return - I never thought a chocolate bar would make me want to cry and giggle at the same time, but there you go (part of me prays he will not notice the existence of my Tumblr, but it’s possible, and if he ever reads this - I am so, so, sorry, but either way my appreciation is known, and that’s good enough for me, and he’s very, very sweet)

Now, what else is there to include in this section? Oh, I know! The nightmare that is the vast variety of things that entertain me - cough, slightly melodramatic of me, but you’ll see what I mean momentarily,

Books - I’m roughly 120 pages into the Wheel of Time, which I already know will become my LOTR (assuming that is an actual phrase and not something my brain has made up, which is highly likely regardless - it’s also a slight reference to Ready Player One, since Kira reread LOTR every single year), because who doesn’t love danger, fantasy, and a delicious almost undecipherable prophecy? If I don’t re-read this book every year I will be incredibly, incredibly surprised. Fighting sleep one night this week I sought out my kindle, which had been sorely unused these last couple years, and I started to read Interview With The Vampire, and I’ve spent a couple hours reading it today, I’m about 25% in according to Kindle stats, so I’ll see how it goes. Surprisingly though, I stumbled across Perks of Being A Wallflower on Kindle Unlimited today - and 5 hours later, with a couple of breaks scattered between, I finished it, about twenty minutes before writing this section - and let me tell you, that book was a LOT, but a good lot? i suppose? And I’m glad I finally got around to reading it - It’s also given me the urge to reread All The Bright Places which I read for the first time last summer, and it’s beautiful, and so, so good,

Shows - Seeing as it’s the weekend I’m making my way through Dexter, I’m currently 3/4 through S4 and loving it, it’s INSANE, I’m also watching Shameless US, I’m on S6 and it’s actually baffling me how much I’m enjoying it (Lip is my favourite character, and this season HURTS me with how much it hurts him, mild spoiler possibly? apologies if so), I’m also going to start rewatching the Boys as aforementioned, seeing the dark side of superheroes is so incredibly genius, if not disturbing, and there’s plenty of that in the show to look forward to experiencing again, so wish me luck dear reader,

Music - I listen to a LOT. That’s the honest truth. Lots of genres, lots of people, but I’ll try and pick out some of the things I’ve been listening to this week: Outlander S1&2 Soundtrack (I’ve only seen up to s2, and after reading the first book last month it was perfect timing for exam season), Like That by Bea Miller (I rediscovered this recently and it fits so well with the characters in my head, and even though I haven’t been writing lately, believe me, I’ve been plotting), Trouble by Camylio (it reminds me of the main characters in my currently not fully-written book, as in the work I need to complete/redraft after I finish Ruin’s Reprisal), Ludens by Bring Me The Horizon (does this song really need an explanation? It’s just that good) and finally, to finish off this little list of things that I’ve hearing a lot this week, The Other Side by Stephen Sanchez, which is so so good

Spills From The Ink-Pot - writing, writing, and more writing

Seeing as it’s Friday, and today is the start of my lengthy, well-needed summer, there’s not an awful lot I can tell you all for writing progress, but so far this weekend I did manage to re-read the chapter I’m editing and the progress I’ve made in it so far, which was super helpful, and by the end of this weekend hopefully I’ll have that chapter all finished, and then afterwards have a lot more to share with you all next week!

But to make up for my absence from writeblr and being unable to post anything these last few weeks, I’ll add this in:

Just a little glimpse into my workspace/theme/whatever you wish to call it on Scrivener - that's right, I'm a Scrivener girlie, and I'm so glad I invested in it last May (take part in NaNoWriMo camps folks, you get 50% off, which is what I did, aka £25 for permanent use as opposed to £50, which is still really good compared to Word etc, in my opinion) - and a sneak peek at some of my Chapter Titles, which I really do love coming up with,

(if it's blurry I do apologise, but you get the gist, hopefully)

Incase it’s not obvious, this account was written in parts, over the course of Friday and Saturday (11pm today, roughly), since I lost the battle against exhaustion and fell asleep before I could finish compiling this lengthy post (that’s not a complaint, i’m really enjoying writing this) so I’m finishing this very first post a tad later than initially planned, but these things happen, and that’s all right - you’ll also notice my battle with autocorrect and its capitalisation, sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but I’d rather not go back and correct things this late at night, so apologies for that slight blunder but I promise the next post will be all properly formatted with headers and capitals (as soon as I figure out how to include headers, and make them, hopefully trusty procreate comes in handy, but we shall see)

So that’s it! The very first Written In Smoke is completed, compiled and heading your way - I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it, this is unknown territory for me and it feels as though I’m baring another piece of myself to the world, but it’s worth it, I knew it when this began, and I know it now as I write these last few lines, so if you’ve read this far - thank you, and I’ll see you all next week for the next entry in this series!

~ A Girl and Her Quill

p.s. if there’s anything else you’d like to know about, let me know! suggestions are greatly appreciated (cough, somewhat desperately needed because I have no idea what I’m doing)

p. p. s. being the utter genius I am, I pressed save as draft rather than post, so this is coming out even later than originally planned - whoops!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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@lead-to-code @catwingsathena @nothoughtsjustmhaandotherthings @thestorywitch @lunaeuphternal

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[fromkenari]

A mass of fools and knaves

The full email exchange between Alex Claremont Diaz and Prince Henry Fox Mountchristen Windsor from Chapter Nine of Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. Put here for my best friend to read.

A mass of fools and knaves A agcd@eclare45.com                8/10/20 1:04 AM to Henry H, Have you ever read any of Alexander Hamilton’s letters to John Laurens? What am I saying? Of course you haven’t. You’d probably be disinherited for revolutionary sympathies. Well, since I got the boot from the campaign, there is literally nothing for me to do but watch cable news (diligently chipping away at my brain cells by the day) and sort through all my old shit from college. Just looking at papers, thinking: Excellent, yes, I’m so glad I stayed up all night writing this for a 98 in the class, only to get summarily fired from the first job I ever had and exiled to my bedroom! Great job, Alex! Is this how you feel in the palace all the time? It fucking sucks, man. So anyway, I’m going through my college stuff, and I find this analysis I did of Hamilton’s wartime correspondence, and hear me out: I think Hamilton could have been bi. His letters to Laurens are almost as romantic as his letters to his wife. Half of them are signed “Yours” or “Affectionately yrs,” and the last one before Laurens died is signed “Yrs for ever.” I can’t figure out why nobody talks about the possibility of a Founding Father being not straight (outside of Chernow’s biography, which is great btw, see attached bibliography). I mean, I know why, but. Anyway, I found this part of a letter he wrote to Laurens, and it made me think of you. And me, I guess: The truth is I am an unlucky honest man, that speak my sentiments to all and with emphasis. I say this to you because you know it and will not charge me with vanity. I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you … Thinking about history makes me wonder how I’ll fit into it one day, I guess. And you too. I kinda wish people still wrote like that. History, huh? Bet we could make some. Affectionately yrs, slowly going insane, Alex, First Son of Founding Father Sacrilege

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 239-241). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves Henry hwales@kensingtonemail.com                8/10/20 4:18 AM to A Alex, First Son of Masturbatory Historical Readings: The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. Every time you mention your slow decay inside the White House, I can’t help but feel it’s my fault, and I feel absolutely shit about it. I’m sorry. I should have known better than to turn up at a thing like that. I got carried away; I didn’t think. I know how much that job meant to you. I just want to … you know. Extend the option. If you wanted less of me, and more of that—the work, the uncomplicated things—I would understand. Truly. In any event … Believe it or not, I have actually done a bit of reading on Hamilton, for a number of reasons. First, he was a brilliant writer. Second, I knew you were named after him (the pair of you share an alarming number of traits, by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c). And third, some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context. Are you angling for a revolutionary soldier role-play scenario? I must inform you, any trace of King George III blood I have would curdle in my very veins and render me useless to you. Or are you suggesting you’d rather exchange passionate letters by candlelight? Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? I think perhaps Hamilton said it better in a letter to Eliza: You engross my thoughts too intirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness. If you did decide to take the option mentioned at the start of this email, I do hope you haven’t read the rest of this rubbish. Regards, Haplessly Romantic Heretic Prince Henry the Utterly Daft

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 241-243). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves A agcd@eclare45.com                8/10/20 5:36 AM to Henry H, Please don’t be stupid. No part of any of this will ever be uncomplicated. Anyway, you should be a writer. You are a writer. Even after all this, I still always feel like I want to know more of you. Does that sound crazy? I just sit here and wonder, who is this person who knows stuff about Hamilton and writes like this? Where does someone like that even come from? How was I so wrong? It’s weird because I always know things about people, gut feelings that usually lead me in more or less the right direction. I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn’t have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? I wanna see you again and soon. I keep reading that one paragraph over and over again. You know which one. I want you back here with me. I want your body and I want the rest of you too. And I want to get the fuck out of this house. Watching June and Nora on TV doing appearances without me is torture. We have this annual thing at my dad’s lake house in Texas. Whole long weekend off the grid. There’s a lake with a pier, and my dad always cooks something fucking amazing. You wanna come? I kind of can’t stop thinking about you all sunburned and pretty sitting out there in the country. It’s the weekend after next. If Shaan can talk to Zahra or somebody about flying you into Austin, we can pick you up from there. Say yes? Yrs, Alex P.S. Allen Ginsberg to Peter Orlovsky—1958: Tho I long for the actual sunlight contact between us I miss you like a home. Shine back honey & think of me.

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 243-245). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves Henry hwales@kensingtonemail.com                8/10/20 8:22 PM to A Alex, If I’m north, I shudder to think where in God’s name we’re going. I’m ruminating on identity and your question about where a person like me comes from, and as best as I can explain it, here’s a story: Once, there was a young prince who was born in a castle. His mother was a princess scholar, and his father was the most handsome, feared knight in all the land. As a boy, people would bring him everything he could ever dream of wanting. The most beautiful silk clothes, ripe fruit from the orangery. At times, he was so happy, he felt he would never grow tired of being a prince. He came from a long, long line of princes, but never before had there been a prince quite like him: born with his heart on the outside of his body. When he was small, his family would smile and laugh and say he would grow out of it one day. But as he grew, it stayed where it was, red and visible and alive. He didn’t mind it very much, but every day, the family’s fear grew that the people of the kingdom would soon notice and turn their backs on the prince. His grandmother, the queen, lived in a high tower, where she spoke only of the other princes, past and present, who were born whole. Then, the prince’s father, the knight, was struck down in battle. The lance tore open his armor and his body and left him bleeding in the dust. And so, when the queen sent new clothes, armor for the prince to parcel his heart away safe, the prince’s mother did not stop her. For she was afraid, now: afraid of her son’s heart torn open too. So the prince wore it, and for many years, he believed it was right. Until he met the most devastatingly gorgeous peasant boy from a nearby village who said absolutely ghastly things to him that made him feel alive for the first time in years and who turned out to be the most mad sort of sorcerer, one who could conjure up things like gold and vodka shots and apricot tarts out of absolutely nothing, and the prince’s whole life went up in a puff of dazzling purple smoke, and the kingdom said, “I can’t believe we’re all so surprised.” I’m in for the lake house. I must admit, I’m glad you’re getting out of the house. I worry you may burn the thing down. Does this mean I’ll be meeting your father? I miss you. x Henry P.S. This is mortifying and maudlin and, honestly, I hope you forget it as soon as you’ve read it. P.P.S. From Henry James to Hendrik C. Andersen, 1899: May the terrific U.S.A. be meanwhile not a brute to you. I feel in you a confidence, dear Boy–which to show is a joy to me. My hopes and desires and sympathies right heartily and most firmly, go with you. So keep up your heart, and tell me, as it shapes itself, your (inevitably, I imagine, more or less weird) American story. May, at any rate, tutta quella gente be good to you.

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 245-247). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host today. 

Here today to talk all things whumpy is the fabulous @not-a-space-alien!

Thank you for joining us today! Do you mind sharing a fact or two about yourself to start us off?

I love pet rats.  I don’t know if I can have them anymore, though, because it’s really hard when they start getting sick and they get old so fast.

Rats make the most adorable pets! And how would you describe what whump means to you? 

To me whump is about lingering on the effects of trauma and pain that mainstream media usually minimizes or ignores because it’s “too messy” or apparently not interesting I guess?  Humans are messy and I want to revel in that sometimes.  It feels wrong to ignore it.  Sometimes I feel messy and in pain and overwhelmed and I want to read about people who also feel that way.  I also like the hurt/comfort aspect because…..well, my fantasy is that someone will comfort me when I’m hurting and that someone will rescue me when I’m in pain (or on the flip side that I can save someone who’s in pain)

How did you find the whump community? What made you want to join? 

I’ve written these sorts of things for a while even before engaging with anything on tumblr that was primarily made as whump.  I started posting my writing on tumblr and engaging in online circles originally in the Good Omens fandom, years before the TV show came out, and gradually my writing on that front started getting darker and darker as I realized there are other people who like reading that sort of thing and it wasn’t just me.  I think it did make people a little uncomfortable sometimes and they weren’t really sure how to handle it, so that’s why these days I try extra hard to make sure it’s clear what’s in the writing and how it should be viewed and handled.

If I remember correctly I found myself in this corner after a period of years where I didn’t write anything at all, then while watching some random movies I re-watched Night at the Museum and of course looked at tumblr posts about it, which led to me starting to browse g/t more often (thanks Jedtavius), and after being into g/t stuff for a while I stumbled across some people who wrote g/t whump, and from there I found some “regular” whump.  The first person I remember actually talking to was @oddsconvert, who told me to read Kane and Jim, and I have been mildly obsessed with Milly’s writing since then, which gave me a framework to pull together pieces of ideas I’d always had to write MMSS, which is really my only current contribution to “whump tumblr.” (I’d always had an idea about a scientist vampire getting caught while trying to make artificial blood, I combined this with Valen, a DnD character I’d previously played as a drow, because I knew the setting in Milly’s story would be the perfect thing to tie it all together.)

Do you think your view on whump changed since you discovered the whump community?

I’m not sure if I would really consider myself part of the “whump community” because so much of what’s out there doesn’t appeal to me.  At first I gave everything a try but as time went on I started getting more and more picky.  I’ve grown to really dislike “pet whump”/BBU as well as nameless snippets/prompts that use cardboard cutout characters or flatten characters into two-dimensional archetypes like “Caretaker” or “Whumper.”  This sounds really negative but it’s entirely a matter of personal taste and I wish people who write that stuff the best. I wish I could enjoy it because there’s so many talented people out there writing it but it just does nothing for me.

No, that’s entirely valid. There’s a lot of tropes out there and certain ones like BBU can feel inescapable sometimes!  It really can be hard to find ones that tick all of your boxes. Do you have any particular favourites?

I love when a character is scared for their life, not knowing that in reality they’re completely safe/being helped.  

Shocked when receiving mercy and gentleness when none is expected or deserved.

Character unused to receiving love being loved.

Monster characters hiding their monster nature, being exposed, but being loved anyway despite being treated badly for it in the past.

The power of FriendshipTM

Love being a powerful force that can pull people through the worst ordeals

Complicated relationships between vulnerable characters 

Fearplay 

Excellent trope choices! Unexpected mercy or kindness is so good! Would you like to share a favourite piece that you’ve written? 

Honestly this isn’t even whump but I think my favorite thing I’ve ever written is still Falling Hazard.  I put SO much work into that story.  It had so many moving pieces and I wanted to make sure it was all polished and got the attention it deserved so it went through 3 or 4 drafts, I had the whole thing written before I even started posting it.  It was the culmination of an OC-heavy, plot-intense Good Omens second-apocalypse fic that turned into more of a thriller than anything.  

https://not-a-space-alien.tumblr.com/post/657822746613514240/your-own-side-masterpost  

Haven’t really been interested in Good Omens fandom stuff for a hot minute but I’m honestly still really proud of it.  I don’t think it’s really possible to try the “sand the barcode off and sell as an original fiction” thing because it’s so interwoven with the themes of the novel but I think even people with only a passing knowledge of good omens could enjoy it.  (the first few entries in this series are kind of whumpy but the later ones are less like that)

Good Omens?! I’m going to binge this so much, I swear! What does your writing routine look like?

I only write when inspiration strikes, I generally don’t do my best work if I’m forcing myself to write.  I do my best work when I’m seized by some mad ideas and feel like I’ll explode if I don’t write RIGHT NOW.  I think the worst case I ever had it was this one time I wrote an entire ficlet on my phone at work.  RIP my thumbs. 

Ah yes. And the urge to write always comes at the most inconvenient time, doesn’t it? Do you find that somethings are easier to write than others?

I struggle to write in any universe where I can’t keep a firm hold on the worldbuilding in my head.  My brain will take implications of things we see and run off with it and it’s like I run up against a wall if I can’t take everything to its logical conclusion.  So I tend to write easiest in settings where the worldbuilding is simple, or based on a few things that are flexible.  I tend to get really picky and a bit ridiculous about taking things too seriously when it comes to worldbuilding.

Is there anything you're working on at the moment? 

My two big current writing projects are Watch Your Step and MMSS and I can’t really see that changing anytime soon.  I do have a google doc with some ideas for shorter pieces and snippets that I might write when inspiration strikes. 

Do you have a joke or pun you would like to share to spread some smiles today?

I'm bad at this.  Please can people comment with a joke or pun.  I’m the one who needs smiles.  I'm so tired.

A joke for you then: What's a fanfic writer's weapon of choice? His headcanon! 

Do you have any writing advice you’d like to share?

Pay attention to people in real life. Listen to the way they talk and act, the lies they tell themselves, the way they juggle things, the way they behave when they care vs when they don't care. Listen to what they say with their words and without. Dissect why strangers, acquaintances, friends, lovers interact the way they do. Notice patterns. Appreciate the complexity of human existence. Pay attention to context and background and how circumstances affect behavior. Understand that there is no true "you" at the core of every human, just a million fragments of personality seen by a million different people. Once you understand all this, you can mix and match to build a person in your head. Every character feels real when they get pieces of you, or pieces of people you know.  That’s my philosophy anyway!

I’m writing that advice down, that’s really good. Are there any blogs you’d like to mention?

@whumpsday and @oddsconvert  <3  I also love @demondamage’s stuff even though I havent been following for too long :)

Anything you'd like to add? 

Stay frosty coolios 

It was a pleasure to have you here today, @not-a-space-alien! 

And to all you fab folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[flowerslut]

6, 7, 22

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

i love this question because it’s so ominous yet incredibly vague. what scares me when writing? what frightens me about the work I actually produce? is there an inherent anxiety I should be experiencing about the idea of other people reading my work? who knows! what an absolute sandbox of a question. lemme give this one a go:

nothing really scares be about writing—I’m pretty good about not letting fear or anxiety influence my process. I think the closest thing I’ve experienced to feeling writing/story-related fear is the anxiety that I won't be able to adequately write about an experience that I can't personally relate to.

I made my mark on the Tumblr-sphere around 2010-2012 and only dove head first into tumblr fandom stuff after I already had a decent following. this means that I already was doing a weird mixture of careful self-censoring while also being extremely outspoken and annoying about Calling Things Out—you’ll recognize this as The Thing virtue-signaling BNFs do where they’ll try to cancel someone who enjoys fucked up ship dynamics or problematic characters while also acting like only they have the ability to write or commentate about subjects A, B, or C because they have the “necessary” lived experiences and obviously anyone who doesn’t fit inside the personal mold of the topics they’re writing could never properly write about these topics (re: sexual assault/racism/homophobia and transphobia/etc.)—so as someone who can relate to that mindset, there will always be a smidge of anxiety over how prominent that Type of reader has become. of course, people find a lot of worth in #ownvoices, but when it becomes expected that only people in marginalized groups write about or as that group... you can see how that gets... sketchy...

that's something I'm not going to unpack here since so many other people have talked about it so much better than I could ever, but it's that problematic mindset that inspires a little bit of unease as I start considering working on/developing ofic. so I guess I could say my darkest fear (although it doesn't feel dark; it's just me being hyperaware of the current state of affairs) is that any of my writing could lose its credibility or worth if I dared to write about a lived experience outside of my own. if that makes sense 🙇🏼‍♀️

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

I love to create!!!! I love the way it makes me feel! I love the writing process, start to finish, and I love looking back on works I've written and feeling a variety of fantastic emotion!!!! I've rarely written work I wouldn't seek out to read myself, and knowing that not only am I capable of creating work that I find worthy of reading, but that I do it with regularity is a really cool thing. when I'm sitting in my bed at 2am, trying to convince myself to close my laptop and go to sleep since I've been writing for 13 consecutive hours, I'm truly in my happiest place. not to MENTION how good it feels to be able to witness your progress as a writer as time passes; THAT is a wonderful feeling and brings my joy to a whole new level ♡

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

I’ve always been super organized when it comes to writing! when I was a teenager (since I didn’t have a laptop like I do now) I kept most of my fic in this trusty thing.

and I’ve shared posts about it before that really detail how organized I got with the fics I wrote in high school, and although I definitely don’t hand write fic anymore (I still can’t believe how many years I did that for—kids these days don’t understand etc etc yada yada) my organizational process is pretty similar, only now I use my iphone notes to throw my ideas/thoughts into and I use countless spotify playlists to keep my song inspo sorted!

most of my brainstorming happens in my iphone notes app, and once I have a solid base or idea I’ll usually take that outline to scrivener and start building from there. for example, here’s roots’ scrivener doc:

and why yes, it is taking up so much space on my computer, and yes, it is overdue for a backup to my hard drive 💀 but yes, tldr; I use iphone notes and scrivener, almost exclusively!

weird questions for writers!

[daincrediblegg]

2, 9, 11, 12, 22?

2. Do you read/reread your own fics? It really honestly kindof depends on the fandom on this one. Generally speaking when I put some creative thing out there of any kind I am loathe to re-watch or re-read it (with the exception of looking at my own fanart- unless it was especially bad I love looking back at some of my old stuff just for the sheer thrill of seeing how much progress I’ve made) BUtT!!!! There is the exception of when it’s like. I’m either in a fandom in which the character I like gets character assassinated in fics a lot of the time and I need enrichment from outside sources or my own. OR when I’m just in a fandom where people don’t write x reader fics that much for the character and I’m the only one writing them and I have to re-read myself bc that’s the only content out there (current predicament re; everything Jared Harris has been in and it’s a crime that I’ve spent the whole year trying to remedy lmao).

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!

OK SO!!!! This was actually a couple of paragraphs I got down yesterday and it’s some of the more solid stuff I’ve put out in recent months, but I’m very proud of how it turned out:

Sinclair was never particularly fussy when it came to her appearance, which made changing for dinner a fairly brief affair. She had learned from an early age that there was certainly no room for such attentions on a ship, and in fact had great fun in witnessing first-time sea-faring ladies, passengers of course on The Demeter, who tried to keep their appearances in spite of the swell and sway of the high seas. She remembered fondly then, the laugh of Mrs. Rose Anthony. How she’d wished to hear it now and all these months gone past. She would have laughed to see Fitzjames on the deck this morning, with that ridiculous cloak flowing behind him like a peacock with his feathers at half mast. None of the men would see it as she did. Not that she was in too much want of friends among them. But fewer still would understand her sense of humor as Rose had.  Pondering this, Sinclair forewent her shirt and waistcoat- both of which were custom tailored, as it wouldn’t do for the navy to commission such a garment. But her father had, for her sake. One of his many parting gifts. The very same man whose picture Sinclair’s gaze drifted to as she buttoned the deep blue bodice that had also been part of the set he had purchased for her, this one long sleeved to match the deep blue flannel day skirt she kept on, and which had served her so well in the chilly climate. She’d missed too how well he’d been able to do her hair for an occasion like this, where Sinclair now only managed a bun tied fairly neatly to the back of her head (more than she’d dare to manage for her daily duties, she might add), but it suited her all the same for the impression Sir John, and indeed, most of the men had of her. Neat as a pin. Diligent. A fixture of a plain sort of beauty in the corner. Never the center of their attentions, but never quite ignored.

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!

As I said in the other ask I have like. Just so many. None of them coherent- but THIS ONE has been my instrumental inspiration for a little while so there you have it. Someday I will consolidate all my fave lady terror vibes into a proper playlist... but that is not today...

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

I mean… sort of. Like in general I do like to have some kind of sense where something is going before I start it- if it’s anything I’ve learned from commercial failures like GOT and the Star Wars Sequels it’s that poor planning will fucking kill you because actually as it turns out narrative structure is important. But at the same time- I think this was a quote from George R.R. Martin that some writers are “builders” who have everything pre-conceived before they put anything down (in reference to Stephen King), and some are “gardeners” (like George) who let stories just grow as they go. For me personally I’ve never felt too tied to either camp, so I put forth my secret third option being: “chef”. I know what I want the end-product to be. I have a general sense of what it should taste like and how I should cook it-thematically speaking. But things still come up as I go. Sometimes it needs a bit more of one spice than another and I try to listen to those instincts when they tell me to add something to what I’m making. 

11 ANSWERED HERE

[bluedalahorse]

A really long response to some of your general thoughts! Perhaps this would work better in another space…

First of all, thank you for responding in such good faith. I feel like this can be such a challenging conversation to have, because it can sound like we’re telling people not to like the things they like, to like something else instead. Which is not what we’re doing! I also feel like I’ve been involved in variations on this conversation—from so many different angles—since 1998, when queer rep in media was a lot more minimal, if it existed at all. So I’ve seen lots of changes since then, and a lot of things that have stayed consistent.

I’m going to try and respond to some of the things you said in categories, in hopes that I will be able to present my thoughts somewhat coherently. It will be long, though. Whoops.

Re: what media executives think will be marketable to us, and what media is accessible to people

Going to go on personal feelings and vibes here rather than specific statistics, so I hope you can roll with me a bit!

I agree with you that there’s an element of perceived marketability in why mlm gets more attention than wlw and other sorts of stories at the moment. I feel like there may have been a cultural shift since the late 1990s, and for a while wlw content was seen as safer, or at least mlm and wlw were seen as equally risky. Willow coming out as a lesbian and having a girlfriend on Buffy the Vampire Slayer certainly wasn’t a “safe” choice for that show by any means. But I do think it was seen as safer than say, Xander coming out as gay and having a boyfriend. One thing that was also clear to me in the late 90s early 00s is that these decisions were primarily made with the comfort of the straight audience in mind.

Another thing I notice is that the MLM-centered trend (as far as canon texts) seems to be happening the most in visual media such as TV and movies. The books I have access to as an American, on the whole, seem to have a lot more variety when it comes to focusing on female characters, wlw relationships, nonbinary characters, trans characters, and other content that male executives see as more “niche.” Of course, the American book publishing industry is still overwhelmingly white and upper class, and has a long way to go as far as diversity, but I generally feel that a lot more LGTBQIA+ rep (and het that I actually enjoy and adore, and stories not focused on romance at all) is available to me in books.

The catch with books, though, is that I can fully acknowledge that they aren’t as accessible as TV and movies for the following reasons:

The book industry I’m talking about is based in the US and these books are primarily written in English, about American characters.

Some folks have disabilities and/or neurodivergences that make reading more difficult/more of a time investment.

Not everyone has a bookstore or library close by that can provide these titles, nor do they have a local government that is in support of them having access to these titles.

Reading often costs money and shelf space. E-books and audiobooks and library e-books have mitigated this a bit luckily.

The book industry is not as great at advertising its stuff if you don’t already know its quirks, and it’s probably harder to find the stuff you want.

(It’s also worth pointing out that a lot of the titles I’d recommend for a more diverse queer experience are Young Adult or Romance, which are in genres a lot of people are wary of reading or not as interested in.)

Which is why I wish TV and movie executives would adapt more of the books I like for streaming and movies! I’m not going to convince friends to read every single one of my favorite stories but maybe I can get someone to watch a 90-minute movie with me on Netflix. And maybe tumblr users will make gifsets of the thing I like, and maybe they’ll write fanfic. Maybe.

I don’t want to live in a world without Love Simon or Heartstopper. I do wish we lived in a world where studios would just as happily adapt things like You Should See Me In A Crown and Loveless, and we could see those stories side by side with Love Simon and Heartstopper. And, god, what I wouldn’t give for a Last Night at the Telegraph Club movie. The world would be a better place if that existed!

Re: writing in fanworks and canon works

I agree with you about the way fandom tears things down very quickly for not being perfect. We do this both with canon works and with fan products. Truthfully, it’s gotten to the point where I sometimes roll my eyes when I hear someone use the word “representation” in fandom analysis contexts, because at times it feels like people are saying “The thing I like is GOOD representation, but the thing you like that I hate is BAD representation.” (Also, sometimes the people who say that are me. I have certainly been the problematic one in my quarter-century of being in fandom!)

We all need a balance of accountability and grace in order to thrive as creatives. I’ve definitely hung out in fan spaces where it feels like people get too much grace for what they create, but I also feel like I’ve been in fan spaces where people use the idea of accountability as an excuse to tear people down and ruin them. It can be really disheartening if someone wants to write a fanfic that feels intimidating or risky, but that person also feels like they can’t get started because if they try they’ll only fail and that will be bad. Sure, we’ve probably avoided a few “problematic” fics because of that, but we’ve probably also lost cool stories someone could have told. How do we strike a balance?

As I re-read my original post and your responses to it, here’s something that made me think. I used to write a ton of mlm romance in my fandoms while also wanting to write other things but never being able to. I now spend a lot of my writing time, both in fanfiction and original fiction, writing those other things I’m interested in, in addition—female POVs, wlw content, compelling het, complicated friendships, and so on. Fifteen years ago, every character I wrote about was white—primary and secondary characters alike—but I can say that over time I’ve gotten more practice writing multiracial casts, even if I probably wouldn’t write an original novel with a nonwhite protagonist which I would then submit for publication. (I don’t see that being my story to tell when it’s done for money, and it makes more sense for me to promote BIPOC colleagues and their books.) I probably still make mistakes and get things wrong, and I still have skills I need to develop, but I also feel like I’m more confident (even when I’m cautious) about taking writing risks in writing than I was before. 

The thing that made me think? For all the talk of fandom as a relatively progressive space, I don’t actually think I developed this confidence to branch out of my writing when I was in fandom spaces. I had to retreat from fandom a bit in order to find those spaces that would nurture me as a writer. I found them in writing classes and in friendships with other writers who write outside fandom. I also read lots and lots of mentor texts. Early 2010s fandom kind of terrified me when it came to how diverse writing was discussed; it made me hide and never want to write anything ever.

Even now, I think fandoms tend to be better versed in theory than they are in practice. We’re good at identifying when things are incorrect in a piece of media and talking through those things. We’re also good at saying “this character doesn’t get enough attention/this problematic fanon interpretation happens because people are sexist/racist/transphobic/etc.” We’re not always as good (YET) at creating fanworks that push back at these -isms, or sometimes in creating original works that are the kinds of things we want to see. We’re still more motivated by fear than by joy. And that makes me sad.

It also makes me wonder: are there ways we could change that? How do we get that balance of grace and accountability we need to thrive as creatives? What role do I play as an individual—do I offer myself as beta reader or cheerleader? Do I comment on every fic I can find that’s something I want to see more of? Do I host supportive fic weeks oriented around female characters in my favorite shows?

I’ve gotten braver and more skilled about writing female characters and things that aren’t mlm romance, but I don’t know if I’m brave or skilled enough to like. Host a fandom shindig. If that makes sense. And I’m also kinda worried that if I do put my ideas out there, no one will show up or want to participate. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Re: Young Royals specifically, and the characters that tug on our hearts

Wow, Young Royals is really awesome, isn’t it? Love that show to the point where I got back on tumblr to talk about it. (Thank you, genuinely, for talking to me about it.)

It 100% makes sense to me that most of the fanfiction, fanart, and discussion focuses on Wilmon as a pairing, because they’re wonderful in every sense of the word and there’s a lot of rich text to explore there. Have I gone to a soccer/football field and gotten plastic field dots all over my hands and taken a picture of it to text to friends? Absolutely. Do I fall off the couch and squeal whenever my Heart and Homeland cowriter sends me Wilmon updates? Of course I do.

Wilhelm and Simon are important main characters, and together they feel like the heart of the show. At the same time, the heart is an organ and part of a body. I’d like to extend the metaphor a bit. I think of Sara, August, and Felice as the show’s other three main characters, and to me personally they feel like equally vital organs in the Young Royals body system. I can’t fannishly function without them, a lot of the time.

It’s tempting to talk about this as being an artistically-informed preference; we could talk about the ways they each push the plot and themes forward and how they play necessary roles as foils to Wilhelm or Simon or both. But I also want to talk about Sara, August, and Felice in terms of sheer fannish enjoyment. I like it when they show up onscreen and do the things they do as characters, even when sometimes (August I’m looking at you) they also make me scream in frustration. They make my viewing experience special just as much as Wilhelm and Simon do. I actually don’t think I’d be as hooked into the Wilmon story on its own without the other three sharing a canon with them. Yet every time I want to express this, I feel tempted to get defensive and justify liking them for intellectual reasons or whatever. And I wanna know, why do I do that? Is it because we subconsciously see the characters we like in a TV show as a kind of moral choice? Why am I constantly self-examining about my love of the Other Three? Why can’t I just love them?

Let’s expand on this a little more, in another direction. Hillerska and Bjärstad are special settings, and the secondary characters that populate these settings are also wonderful and worthy of attention. They’re all so great! I know we love talking about all the side characters and imagining headcanons about their lives and what they do in school and such. Rosh and Ayub and Stella and Fredrika and Maddie and Nils and Vincent and Alexander and Walter and Henry all round out the cast. And I’ve seen all the thought you’ve put into your fic about Walter and Henry and how it’s led to research about boarding schools that benefits fandom as a whole. That’s so cool! I love it when I see your stuff on my dash for that reason.

Anyway, I’m going to set the secondary characters and August aside for a moment so I can talk about Sara and Felice. I understand what you said about people not gravitating toward Sara and Felice, and why they might find them intimidating to write. To me, personally—honestly, maybe this is just me—I feel there’s just as much work/research/intimidation factor in writing Simon and Wilhelm as characters as there is in writing the girls. I’ve never been part of a royal family or had a sibling die, and while I do have anxiety, mine doesn’t manifest in the same way that Wilhelm’s does. On the Simon side of things, I haven’t had an abusive dad or an immigrant mom, nor have I ever really been working class or lived in a bilingual household. So I find writing Simon and Wilhelm just as intimidating! To the point where I really haven’t written either’s perspective yet. Not to say that I couldn’t, someday, do it.

You brought up a point about writing fanfiction for fun, and I agree with that. I write Sara and Felice because they’re fun for me, and I’m sure a lot of people write Simon and Wilhelm’s perspectives because they are fun for them, too. I want to expand on that idea of fun, though, and say that most of us are writing fanfic because we find emotional meaning in it. I feel like that’s a way to include those of us who are writing the fluffiest, sweetest fluff and those of us who are writing the angstiest, darkest dramas, as well as everyone in between. (It can feel weird to say I’m writing angst for fun?) When we’re writing something that’s emotionally meaningful to us, that can motivate us even when characters are intimidating to approach. That’s our drive!

When I look at whose POVs I’ve written in YR fic, Sara probably has the highest wordcount of all. And I think that’s because I find a lot of emotional meaning in writing her. Sara’s neurodivergence, her need to figure out others and be independent from her family… these are all things I relate to very deeply. It doesn’t mean she’s always been easy to write, and there’s parts of her experience that are more difficult for me to access as an awkward white girl from DC. But I do try, all the same, and I do think I’ve learned a lot from writing her.

I’ve found emotional meaning in Felice, too, mostly in terms of like, exploring her relationship to heteronormative expectations, and how her family wants her to perform certain dutiful daughter behaviors. I sort of said “fuck canon” and made her gay in my longfic, which is admittedly the only place where I’ve really written her POV. I could do better. Have I made mistakes writing Felice? Most definitely. I’m still glad I wrote her, and that I tried. It added to my enjoyment of what I was writing.

(Unfortunately I also find meaning in writing August. I 100% get why people don’t want to engage with that; he’s done serious harm and he’s not exactly a “safe” character for most people to engage with. At the same time, at the risk of getting very personal, well… my dad had a mental health crisis when I was in my early teens, and I ruminate a lot on the possibility that I could have lost my dad. I also struggle with perfectionism and envy of others. Writing August, even if he does awful things I would never do, is a way for me to wrestle with the more difficult demons in my brain. ANYWAY I said I was not talking about August right now, so I’ll shush. But you know. Sometimes I feel weird about being so invested in him. But I guess that’s only healthy given August’s Augustness.)

I guess the final thing I want to say is that, people are very kind and cool and thoughtful in this fandom, and at the same time sometimes it can feel… lonely? if you want to write primarily from the POV of characters other than Wilmon and also want to find more fics that aren’t as heavily Wilmon-centered. (Maybe you can relate to me as a person who’s put a lot of thought and love and care into Walty, which is non-canon, and not a main pairing of the show? Do you ever feel a bit lonely in the fandom, or like you want more fanworks about the characters you love?) Yeah, I think I’m going to use the word lonely, while simultaneously acknowledging that it’s no one’s personal fault that I feel this way. Because really what I’m craving is more connection over all the other parts of the show that I love, the other parts of it that just as much make my brain buzz and my heart flutter.

So to make a long story short, all of your reasons for why things are the way they are in fandom make sense, given the world we live in. And on the whole people are lovely, and I don’t want to offend anyone either, because everyone’s creating cool stuff and having fun. I’ve also had some truly phenomenal conversations with people one on one and in smaller groups. I just wish I knew where to find more of that on my dash at large, if that makes sense. Perhaps my love of the Other Three is a smaller group discussion, and that’s the way it should stay. Hmm. I’m not really sure where to go from here, I’m just thinking. But I hope that all made sense.

Complicated queer media feelings beneath the cut…

Is anyone else feeling… I dunno… complicated about the part where we have Heartstopper, Red White and Royal Blue, and likely more YRS3 promo happening all in the same month?

I find a kind of enjoyment in each of these, so on one hand, I’m happy about it! (YR is my dearest fandom love right now about which I have many deep feelings, Heartstopper brings me joy and is what I’d watch with my middle school kids if I had kids, and RWRB is more on the “fun popcorn media” side of things for me but also has a lot of government humor that I laugh at as a person living in DC who gets subjected to motorcades etc.)

And I also think it’s awesome that queer rep has come a long way since when I was in high school, and there was only kinda Will and Grace and Willow on Buffy and you barely heard about some kids watching Queer as Folk if they were lucky enough to have HBO and parents who weren’t weird about it.

And and at the same time I know I’m going to be looking at my dash like, huh, that is a lot of mlm romance kissing between photogenic cis men.

Which. Again. Is progress? But also I’m a not-skinny aroace homosocial queer who is very interested in the stories of women and nonbinary people as well, and stories about friendship as well as relationships that reject traditional definitions. I want sweet romantic moments in my stories and decent makeout scenes but I also want stories about how queerness can challenge capitalism and hegemony and how we can create new families of choice and so on.

And for some of the texts I’m talking about, the canon definitely delivers? Things feel balanced? YR explores the class system with so much skill, and makes me ask powerful questions about justice and identity and such. It also has incredible female characters, including Sara as B Plot Protagonist driving a significant part of the story. (I wish I could find more fanfic from female characters’ POVs. I wish there were just as many “can’t wait until they get their happy endgame” posts about the Sara-Felice friendship as there were about the Wilmon romance, and I adore the Wilmon romance. I just love everything else about the show alongside it, and sometimes I find myself desperately craving discussion about the other aspects of the show while not knowing how to find ways of engaging about it.)

Heartstopper—I love how a multiqueer friends group is so centered in the story. Nick and Charlie are the main characters but Charlie’s friendship with Tao matters as much in the first season as his romance with Nick. I love how the show chose to have Elle carry a significant subplot in season 1 (although they could do better with that) and I am hopeful that we’ll get an ace discovery story for Isaac in season 2 and I’m looking forward to seeing more Imogen and we get a new disabled character and we’ll also get Tara and Darcy being Tara and Darcy! I don’t really follow people for Heartstopper necessarily, because it’s not really something I analyze or write fic for, but, you know, there’s a lot of it that goes around and I have generally positive feelings about it. I’m curious about what parts of the show and what characters people will choose to focus on.

RWRB… well, it’s been a long time since I’ve read the book, but I’m sort of holding off on comments until I see what’s different between the book and the movie.

Long story short I think I’m going to feel great about these various mlm pairings individually, because they’re all distinct personalities with stories and such, but I’m going to be feeling kind of weird and overwhelmed about the attention and gif visibility and squeeing that mlm romances between photogenic cis men get in aggregate.

But also also. Maybe that’s on me for not being into something like Yellowjackets fandom or not spending more time browsing the tag for XO Kitty. So the problem could also be me. I mean who knowsss?????

[sneezemonster15]

When people say that "Naruto and Sasuke are reincarnations of brothers it’s INCEST to ship them together" I facepalm internally. Because in the Naruto Universe, and I’ve re-read the chapters talking about it, reincarnation is just a word used to describe the fact that the chakra of a dead person is being transmitted to another living person. Not the soul, not the memories, just the chakra.

Of course anon. Your feelings about this are justified. Plus, the Indra Ashura thing came way later. Like in the second half of the last arc of this 700 chapter long manga. If Naruto and Sasuke were supposed to be brothers, that dynamic would have been established pretty early on. It's so easy for the antis to ignore that whenever brotherhood is mentioned in the manga with respect to Naruto and Sasuke, even if by Naruto himself, it's always complex and layered. It's never simple or direct. I have never ever seen any media where so much extraneous stuff was written or drawn to establish a brotherly relationship. A brotherly relationship never needs to be defined. It's always pretty direct and emphatically so, even joyously and exuberantly depicted. Not in any media the world over have I seen two men who are so much in two minds about their supposed 'brotherly' relationship. And I have seen and examined a hell lot. Never. Not once. And why would it? It would be so damn counterproductive. A brotherly relationship is never problematic in a heteronormative world. Naruto and Sasuke are gay and in love in a world that is heteronormative and homophobic to a fault. A world that doesn't even accept that homosexuality can exist or can be considered normal, how will it accept any balanced discussion around it? These antis should try holding conversations about homosexuality in a heteronormative society and see how much resistance and criticism and straight up ridicule and dismissal they face.

My sainted father, even though he was much more liberal, intelligent and educated especially as compared to his peers, struggled a lot with understanding homosexuality. He is also a product of his environment and upbringing, growing up in a heteronormative and homophobic world where the word 'gay' itself was a slang, an insult. These things are not so simple to judge. While I was growing up, I used to see depictions of popular gay culture on tv and it was mostly used as devices meant for cheap humor. And my dad would laugh. Like it was meant to affect the audience. And it would trigger me. I was a non conformist from the beginning, I am also a result of my upbringing, my dad is the one who encouraged me to think on my own and not take what people told me for granted. I was a girl from a politically and socially disadvantaged background growing up in a bigoted and patriarchal society, I had enough odds against me and my father had thankfully prepared me for it from when I was three years old. But I was also from a different generation from my father's. So things that he was still oblivious about or things that he hadn't examined critically, he had already given me the basic tools to examine and inspect. We would watch tv and films together and then sometimes, discuss what we saw. But he started to get tired of me soon lol. Because I would argue with him about everything as I started to grow up and learn more and more. I remember once he said that homosexuality was a sick and unnatural propensity and shouldn't be encouraged in a civilized society. I was 15-16. And I took him ON. I might not have even seen an actual gay person in my life till then (or have known they were gay if I had), but I was well read and had seen films about the subject and read articles in magazines etc. And thought about it as much as my inexperienced mind could manage. My take was that it was just wrong to judge people on the basis of whom they chose to love, irrespective of what their sexual orientation was. As long as it was mutually consensual, it was none of anyone's business to poke about. And I gave him the same kind of arguments he would use against those who would judge our community on the basis of where we were born and what our socio political religious status was. That it was a person's basic right to humanity to choose whom they loved, how could he deny that? And he was rendered speechless. He knew he would be deemed a hypocrite if he tried to justify his arguments. He just gave up grudgingly and jokingly told me he had created a monster. Lolol. That was the day and till this day, he hasn't said a word against homosexuality. He still might not entertain it happily but he also doesn't speak negatively about it.

But the difference was, my father is a reasonable man. He will acknowledge logic and reason when he is given it. He will not turn tail or burrow his head in the sand like some sad ignorant ostrich, even though he is from a different generation. He is proud people, but not so egotistical or willingly ignorant that he cannot see facts.

My work takes me to several obscure and underdeveloped, underprivileged communities where I am obliged to talk about issues that carry a lot of taboo. Women's health for example. It's not easy to carry on these conversations in such an environment. And it takes a hell lot of work, for years and years where you even reach a position where you can comfortably talk about these issues that people in developed societies take for granted. I have had people tell me that it's better to underfeed pregnant women for the sake of the child, complementary breastfeeding is not even something they have heard of, or the importance of iron supplements, calcium supplements for older women who perform heavy physical chores day in and day out, the culture of serving the women leftovers of the meal, never men or feeding the men first and the women last, or how the women invariably get the least meaty part of the animal and men get the most meaty parts of an animal in their meals etc etc. It's so normalised, no one questions it, it's unbearably invisibilised because it's part of their culture, it's the norm, it's so engrained in their socio cultural fabric and as a result, their language and extended notions, no one thinks it's abnormal or unusual. These narratives are just there, have been there for centuries and no one wants to find faults with it, everyone in their society is conditioned to follow the same narrative, how can you even question a narrative you don't even know can possibly be wrong? You think the world was designed to be beneficial for women or gay people? Any deviation to the norm or that threatens the existing foundation of this problematic narrative is never encouraged, only discouraged. Communities and groups with shared interests shy away from upsetting the established order, the existing equilibrium. It's quite a natural tendency for humans. Avoid chaos and uncertainty and follow the preexisting notions till the cows come home no matter how counterproductive and harmful they are.

Now replace this issue with homosexuality. How can you question the heteronormative agenda/narrative if you don't see anything wrong with it, how non-inclusive and straight-jacketed it is? How do you even begin to understand that a heteronormative society is harmful and undermines the rights of LGBTQ+ members of its community? Me and my team along with other collaborators have had to develop smart communication strategies to counter these narratives and it takes time, money and a hell lot of drive, effort and commitment. So I know from experience that it is not a simple matter of defining the whole thing in binaries, in black and white terms. It's much more complex than that. It takes a hell lot of effort to single out the underlying problems and prejudices that invariably guide these narratives and focus on them to break these narratives, one prejudiced notion at a time.

And when it comes to sexuality, I can see and feel these complexities in the story of Naruto. There is a proper overarching dialectic where the characters of Naruto and Sasuke go through the whole dilemma of defining this relationship. Sasuke keeps asking Naruto why does he keep getting in his way, being unable to find Naruto's over the top actions and words justified with the names he gives to their relationship. Sasuke gets frustrated, he is displeased, he is dissatisfied. How do the antis explain that away? It's not even an isolated incident, it's there throughfuckingout, a very crucial part of the narrative and their own characterisation. If it weren't important or significant, why would it be there? Why would Kishi so painstakingly put it there? What does this signify? What was his intent? If they were just brothers, why would it even be necessary? What brothers ask each other these questions? Where have these antis seen it? Well, they haven't. Because it doesn't exist. Like I said, it's counterproductive. No intelligent storyteller would do it, it's damn stupid and unnecessary. With all this, Kishi meant to portray that Naruto and Sasuke were NOT brothers, they were never meant to be. What would even be the point of writing Sasuke and Naruto as gay? Why would all the scenes of Naruto's sexuality be so layered? Why would Kishi show Sasuke rejecting women over and over again and not allowing them actions or gestures that he allows Naruto so naturally and willingly and even wantonly? Why would he get so annoyed at women flirting with him but then, act like some flirtatious femme fatale with an oblivious Naruto? And why would Naruto be shown as harping about Sasuke's looks again and again when he would be pointedly shown as not reacting to Sakura's looks or Hinata's looks like a straight dude? Why would both these characters deviate from the typical portrayal of straight dudes in media, very much inspired by real life people, and act as someone who is not interested in the opposite sex? Why? Why would Kishi do all this? To portray them as brothers? Lol.

No.

To portray them as gay, whether closeted or not. In a genre where he cannot depict them as such directly. But he is a damn good writer and he wanted to facilitate their tragic love story no? It all follows the logic and narrative of this story. All of it. I talk about gay coming of age films all the time and I have listed more than twenty of them already and if you watch them, you would understand what I mean, as you would see the same tropes and narrative devices, of which misunderstanding the romantic feeling for brotherhood is one of the most common one. And it again follows the logic of finding a way to talk about something 'abnormal' in a world that celebrates and glorifies normativity, with terms they already know of even if inaccurate, to try and understand their romantic feelings for each other in a world that simply doesn't allow the space or opportunity of assimilating anything outside of the norm. Naruto and Sasuke are kids, they are inexperienced, they are also the products of their upbringing. It's called characterisation given their existing worldbuilding. Is it any surprise that they also struggle talking about it in direct words? Kishi is a much more intelligent and talented writer than fans give him credit for. But what one doesn't understand or even see, how can they even begin to judge it? You need to be intelligent and sensitive to understand something intelligent and sensitive. I have talked about it in more detail here.

But the fact of the matter is, in the conclusive chapter of this manga which happened to be their resolution, Sasuke got really triggered and asked Naruto point blank what he meant by 'friends', after Naruto tried to distract him because he felt uncomfortable answering this very pregnant and significant question, again insisting that Naruto define this relationship. He MUST. It's important for Sasuke. He needs to understand the nature of Naruto's feelings for him and he wants to hear it from him. He has had enough and he needs to know. He won't be dismissed with some incommensurate term such as friends. It simply doesn't gel with the lengths Naruto goes to, to protect Sasuke, to care for him. So he insists. And what does Naruto say? He is still not able to give it a name. But he also doesn't use the same terms he had used before, hence rejecting them. What impression does it give the reader? That he knows they weren't accurate terms to define his feelings for Sasuke. He could have used the term 'brothers' again, but he didn't. We saw Naruto trying to give all sorts of definitions to his feelings for Sasuke but At The End, he didn't use any of them. He left it undefined. He isn't ready to say it, because it's not that easy, because he is closeted, also because it's shounen. But he explained the underlying feelings. There are different ways to saying I love you, not just the one. His was one of them. The zenith of loving someone. Where you feel hurt when the other does. When the pain of your beloved directly makes you pained. Where you are so connected to someone, it's like your souls are connected and you simply cannot bear the other one's pain because their pain is your own. So you care for them, you are entirely devoted to them, you protect them no matter what the sacrifice, even if it's your own life. Because that's love. It's not meant for everyone. But that's how Naruto is. And that's how Sasuke is too. That's why they were fated. And that's why they were the instrumental duo that finally changed a world that all their predecessors, the ones who imbibed Ashura's and Indra's chakras before them, couldn't do. They were different. They were them. The end of the story culminates in their coming of age. To be able to finally understand things they couldn't before. For both Naruto and Sasuke. This is what their respective journeys led them to. Emotional and sexual coming of age.

And none of this is me making up a story. This IS the narrative. This is the story. And anyone who doesn't have their heads buried in their asses can see it. I won't deny that it's not as direct as these simple minded antis would like to see. But it's not that indirect either. And if they were a little more open minded and honest with themselves, they would be able to see it too.

[havendance]

Okay, since finished reading Batman/Huntress: Cry for Blood, I'm putting together my thoughts on it and how everything fits into my personal Helena Bertinelli mythos. Anyway, I thought the writing and the story-telling was good. This is more about my personal thoughts on how I like her backstory. Without further ado:

I fully admit to being biased to Huntress (‘89)  and Helena’s re-introduction into the Batman-comics in Detective Comics #652 and #653 since those were some of my first introductions to her and I don’t like change, but there’s still some cool stuff in this retcon that I’m definitely going to steal.

Let’s start with what I liked: I liked that the Bertinelli family massacre felt like a massacre. I like how much more it grounded Helena in the network and politics of the mob. In the Huntress (‘89) run she felt much more apart from all of it. And part of that was from her just being apart from the family business in that run, but also, everything just feels so much more connected in this. Like, her showing up to the weddings and funerals? Her being apart from the mafia but still a part? Very good.

Tangentially related, I’m of mixed opinions about her brother. In execution, it’s like look! she has a brother who’s never been mentioned before and will probably never be mentioned again! It feels like he’s just here to increase the body count. However, as an idea, I like it. I think Helena should have another dead boy haunting her. She deserves more mainpain. I’m going to save it to bring up if I ever write that Knightfall AU I’ve got in my back pocket.

I do prefer previous incarnations of Helena’s origin where her survival of the massacre was due to accident and luck rather than being something purposeful. Idk, just something about the fact that it could have gone the other way. The image of her lying there on the floor, playing dead in a spreading pool of her family's blood. I like it. (I’m not sure if that’s an image from the actual comic, but it’s an image sitting in my head, so…)

I guess related to that, I was largely uninterested in the mystery of why she survived. I also thought the whole subplot of ‘actually Helena was illegitimate and her parents' marriage was terrible and unhappy’ was just unnecessary? Like, what does it add to her character? And like, it’s not like any of that is unexpected per se. I’m not surprised by the knowledge. I guess there’s this idea of Helena experiencing disillusionment of the parents she lost so young, but, idk. It just felt unnecessary.

More of a sidenote: but the fact that just about every Huntress-centric mini-series (the exception being Nightwing/Huntress I guess) feels the need to revisit the Massacre, to add a new unsolved mystery? Like, on one hand I get it, it’s a way to re-establish her character. But also, on the other hand, can’t she catch a break? Can’t she move on? Will her search for vengeance never end?

Of course, now that I’ve written this, it's kind of obvious that she can’t. That she has to be constantly tormented by this tragedy at the root of her. Still, I think they could mix it up every once in a while.

This is more subjective, but I think I liked the version of her origin where she was an adult when the massacre happened better. Like, there was nothing wrong with her being a kid, but I just really liked Huntress (‘89) and Helena being a college student and then the massacre happens and she’s not anymore and everything’s still raw and she's wrestling with it all at the same time that Huntress is going out. 

I think this one’s mainly a matter of which one I read first because Helena as a little girl letting everything simmer and simmer for years before it finally blooms into the mantle of the Huntress is also very compelling in a different way.

I’m neutral on the whole ‘trained by mob assassins’ vs ‘trained by her bodyguard’ thing. That being said, I feel like a lot of people in dc are trained by assassins. At least in the Bat corner of things.

Finally, I’m not feeling the whole ‘inspired by Batman’ part of origin. Like, I get it. If you retcon her backstory to take place in Gotham, you have to reckon with the bat. It’d make less sense for to have not been inspired by Batman. Still, I just really liked how independent from Batman Helena’s original origin in the ‘89 was. 

And on a related note, I really wish that they would stop giving Helena Batman!daddy issues. Like, I’m so tired of some guy showing up in every solo and psycho-analyzing her like ‘the reason you have such a tumultuous relationship with Batman is because of the lack of father-figures in your life.’ Like, at least Helena told the question he was full of shit when he tried to pull it this time. But seriously, do you have to bring it up in literally every Huntress run/mini we get?

And like, I have to acknowledge the fact that this is a consistent and core character trait for her and that if you ignore you do lose a lot of her canon character. But! I think it’s stupid. Girl! He’s not worth it! Not the least because Batman is a terrible father figure to latch onto!

[malarki]

Harry Potter FanFiction I greatly enjoy (it’s just tomarry and sevitus)

Fair warning, I’m not good at describing stuff, and most of these are not complete (yet) but if you have similar tastes as I do then you’ll definitely like these stories.

Meddling of a Mischief Maker - by Athy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5380535/chapters/12427268

I enjoy this fic because it shows a more human Voldemort with him still being an asshole as per usual. They do a good job of having Voldemort believably change into a not crazy murderous bastard haha. It also has Sirius interacting with Voldemort and for some reason I find those scenes hilarious in any fic I read.

“Harry's being a horcrux is a bit reworked here in this AU Story set during the summer after 5th year. A Mischief Maker intervenes in the Ministry during Voldemort and Dumbledore's duel, changing the course history. MorallyGrey!Dumbledore, Sirius, Restored Souls, HP/TR”

Draw Me After You (Let Us Run) - by ToAStranger @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327684/chapters/53334382

This story is a delight, it’s tone is very good and they do a great job of writing in the characters ‘voices’ for their pov’s. I especially like the posh way Voldemort talks and acts. This story is also hilarious on top of just being a very good slowburn, AND it has Sirius, which as you might have guessed, I love dearly. They also don’t bash any of the characters, and instead make them well rounded but flawed individuals, which I really appreciate.

“Harry Potter,” comes the soft, sibilant hiss of a voice he has heard in his dreams, in his nightmares, in his waking hours for years.

Slowly, carefully, Harry twists over and pushes up onto his hands and knees. He stays there, short breath fogging in front of his face, and his pursuer lets him. Harry has no doubt of that; he’s being allowed this respite. This small moment to catch his bearings, heart pounding in his ears, blood singing.

“It seems I have finally caught you.”

Consuming Shadows - by Child_OTKW @childotkw

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040089/chapters/16011331

I’ve read two of childOTKW’s fics and both of them are fantastically written and attention grabbing stories. This one was the first one I read, and it has a very interesting take on lily Potter (one which I really enjoy) and the plot can leave you on the edge of your seat at times. The characterization is great, and the process of Harry and Tom getting to know each other is done very well.

“His attention skipped passed the students and moved to the politicians’ pavilion. His gaze locked with crimson, and he nearly faltered under the sheer hunger in those eyes.

It unnerved him how fixated the man was on his dirtied, exhausted figure.

But what troubled him more was the slight smirk he could make out on the man’s lips. It was almost pleased.

On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.

But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.”

A story that is kind of similar but not really: The Train to Nowhere

You Belong To Me (I Belong To You) - by child_OTKW

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270490/chapters/25203408

This is a story inspired by the manwha ‘At The End Of The Road’ by Haribo. A comic I read before reading this, which is very good I recommend it. They do not take the exact plot from the comic though, obviously changing significant details for it to work properly as a Tomarry Fic, but one main thing stays the same, which is that this is a body swap. Honestly I really enjoy childOTKW’s works, and this is no exception. The characterization is wonderful as always, and Harry is Fantastic. Plus I’ve always been a fan of time travel fics. (Fair warning this is another slow burn and Harry centric)

“What I find absolutely fascinating,” Riddle said, stalking closer, “is you.” He marched forward, backing Harry up until he was pinned to the cool wall of the common room. “Do you know why?”

“No. And I’ll be honest here, Riddle, I don’t particularly care.”

The taller boy grinned at him, small yet infinitely pleased. “That. Right there.” One hand rose and brushed some of Harry’s fringe from his face. “Nathan Ciro was a spineless little boy too afraid of his own shadow to dare even glance in my direction. But you…”

He leaned closer, “You look at me like you want to stab me.”

“After an accident, Auror Harry Potter wakes up in the body of fourteen year old Nathan Ciro, a tormented Slytherin who recently tried to end his own life. Seeking answers to his strange predicament, Harry returns to Hogwarts, and causes quite the stir through staff and students - especially when they come to realise he is not the same boy as before.

He tries to avoid suspicion, but as his quest for the truth draws more and more attention to him, Harry begins to think that he might not like what he will discover.”

Some Bonus AU tomarry

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars - by Haplessshippo @haplesshippo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015060/chapters/27191238

This is a star trek au and it’s honestly my favorite tomarry au fic. Granted, I am a huge sci-fi fan. There’s also a bit of a twist at the end, or at least it surprised me, due to the way we usually expect tomarry plots to go.

“Harry Potter, newly appointed Captain of the Marauder and son of the famous Captain James Potter, was falling apart at the seams. His crew didn’t respect him, he was lost in the empty expanse of space, nightmares plagued his sleep, and his Commander deserved the Captain position more than he did. Good thing multiple attempts on his life and a vicious warlord after his head was all it took to turn it all around.

Alternatively, that space fic in which Harry Potter almost dies too many times, Tom Riddle slowly becomes the most smitten fool on the ship, and the rest of the crew are all just a bunch of assholes with popcorn watching the show. And exploding ships, don't forget the exploding ships.”

The Matchmaker - by TanninTele

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16507676/chapters/38664089

I am ALSO a huge true crime fan, and this story has a criminal that kinda reminds me of one that might appear in Hannibal (but with less murder). I enjoy the characterization, though tom is pretty tame in this compared to more cannon fics, considering he’s not the criminal and instead an investigator. Harry is also different from how people usually portray him, but I still like it.

“'The Matchmaker' is a serial abductor whose modus operandi consists of pairing two same-sex individuals together in a coffin, six feet underground - buried alive. He isn't a killer. He's a kidnapper with morals, and Detective Chief Inspector Tom Riddle finds himself obsessed with solving the case.

Unfortunately for Tom, the Matchmaker is just as intent on knowing him.”

And on to the Sevitus Stories

Far Beyond A Promise Kept - by oliversnape

https://archiveofourown.org/works/547431/chapters/974693

A classic, Harry stays with snape and unintentionally proves all his assumptions wrong and makes snape care about him. Both the stories have this aspect, but this one has snape a bit nicer from the get go. Probably because it takes place during the third book, so they’ve only known each other two years. It’s quite wholesome though, and I rather enjoy the progression of their relationship.

“Snape never wanted anyone to know of his promise to Dumbledore, but has realised that he can protect Potter much better by taking a less passive role in the boy's training. Actually liking Harry Potter has never been part of his plan. mentor/guardian.”

Crime And Punishment - by melolcatsi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102232/chapters/58018174

Snape and Harry have way more of a rocky start in this one, and Snape having to pick Harry up from the police station Really Doesn’t Help Snape’s opinion of him. This story very realistically shows the progression of their relationship, going from enemies to family, and near the ‘end’ (it’s not finished) it becomes very wholesome with Snape trying to help Harry with his mental and physical health after years of abuse/ neglect.

“Harry is accused of burglary. The Dursleys leave him to rot. Dumbledore sends Snape to remedy the situation. Harry finds himself in the care of an irate Snape. Not slash, gen-fic w/ focus on Sevitus relationship. Angst galore. Warnings: coarse and suggestive language, mentions of abuse/neglect. Un-betaed and un-Britpicked.”

[thetypedwriter]

Dark Rise Book Review

Dark Rise Book Review by C.S. Pacat 

I have been thinking about this book for days now. 

The sequel to this novel shot to the top of my Christmas list as soon as I was done reading it, it’s just too bad that it won’t be out for probably another year or two. The thought makes me want to weep, but at least re-reading is always an option. 

People always ask me what my favorite books of all time are. I’ve told several people that, for me, a mark of a good book is when it sticks with me, when it sticks in my head.

 It’s when the characters won’t leave me alone, when it inspires my own creativity and imagination, when I hear songs and immediately think of scenes from the book and attach it to events. 

This does not lie mutually exclusive with “excellent” books. I’ve read trash stories that have had this effect on me. I’ve also read classic novels and while I appreciate them and I enjoyed them, I didn't have the after effects of the book lingering on my mind for days or weeks or even months afterwards. 

I finished Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat several days ago and It’s still at the forefront of my thoughts like a song stuck in your head.

 The strange thing is that I don’t think it’s a perfect book. It has problems, especially with pacing and world building, but I still find myself fascinated. 

That, to me, is a great book. 

Now, you might have heard of C.S. Pacat before, either online or even from my reviews. Last year, I read the Captive Prince trilogy for the first time. You can read my review of the trilogy here.

 I expected it to be meretricious, but to my delight and surprise I found the Captive Prince trilogy to be well-written, engaging, lovingly crafted, and leaving a lasting impression on me-just like Dark Rise. 

If that’s not C.S. Pacat’s super power, I don’t know what is. Simply put, I like her stuff. It’s dark, it’s interesting, it’s different, and it sticks with me. I’ve even felt the cravings to re-read The Captive Prince trilogy since it’s been a year and that desire has only doubled since Dark Rise. 

There’s just something about C.S. Pacat’s work that my mind can’t leave alone and I’m not complaining. 

First, I don’t normally mention book covers, as I’ve found that it truly doesn’t depict the inside, but I was immediately drawn to Dark Rise’s cover. I actually saw the cover first, the author second, and third, pulled out my wallet to purchase it a nanosecond later. 

The cover just draws me in. From the haunted look of the character on the cover, to the lettering and colors and bold font. I loved everything about it and fortunately, for me, it did depict the inside material quite well. 

The plot itself isn’t all that original. 

It’s a very classic light vs. dark, good vs. evil kind of story. 

I was trying to explain the story to my brother over Thanksgiving and when I finished, he remarked that it sounded like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. He’s not wrong because at its core, Dark Rise is a very classic bad guys versus good guys kind of story. 

However, it’s the characters, the writing itself, and the end that really left a mark upon me. 

The actual plotline of dark and light is very Kingdom Hearts where they literally mean dark as a force and light as a force. The Dark King versus the Lady of Light. They are not ephemeral or symbolic. 

The Dark King is named as such for his control over shadows and monsters, and the Light for its control over the same. There are some odd interwoven pieces of lore like unicorns, but otherwise the world itself felt pretty par for the course. 

The characters and the ending is what really shined for me. 

I like all of the characters. As I’ve remarked time and time before, that is actually quite an astronomical thing. I do think that Pacat introduces a horde of characters very quickly and it is a bit peeving to switch POVs because my curiosity was not quite quenched.

 I still feel like I’ve only really gotten to know the surface of most of these characters, but I find myself inherently wanting more. 

But that’s the thing: I want more. 

I’m dying to learn about these characters, their relationships to one another, and where they go from here. Will felt like a very archetypal hero before suddenly he wasn’t, Violet felt very tomboy and rough until she changed, Justice was just amazing, Cyprian developed a heart, Katherine showed she had worth on the inside as well as the out, a unicorn appeared in the flesh, Simon’s darkness, Tom’s cruelty, James. Just James. 

Honestly, half of the intrigue comes from James alone. 

There are so many interesting characters and I want more of it right now. 

This, in large part, was hugely due to the ending. I knew a twist was coming, it always does, but I also believed that the climax was behind me. And I was right, but I was also wrong, because the so-called twist I was expecting was actually very surprising and downright insane. 

It made me so interested in what’s coming next and dying to see the characters, which is quite a plot twist if I do say so myself. My brain certainly felt twisted. 

The beginning of the novel starts off quite strong, but the middle does get quite muddy. This is when Pacat spends the most time world building and depositing her exposition and while it is necessary, it is a bit bland and boring to get through. It would have been less of a chore if the exposition had been more interspersed throughout. 

But when the ending does come through, it comes through with shining colors and the forces of dark and evil using their full potential and power which left me breathless and unable to contain my excitement for the installments to come. 

Which they will. 

And I can’t wait. 

Recommendation: This isn’t a perfect book, but it was one I enjoyed immensely. C.S. Pacat does not disappoint and more than any book I’ve read this year, I’m more excited to read the next installment of Dark Rise than anything else and that is the highest praise I can give it. 

Read it. Then read The Captive Prince trilogy. And then re-read them again and bask in the interesting worlds and words that Pacat has created. 

Score: 8/10