#and now you Know

[tetsuotools]

it’s out! which means here are both of my full pieces for @hsprzine VOL. 3, which you can download over here !

[katherynefromphilly]

So occasionally I get a comment on We Begin Again pointing out that vanilla wasn’t available in England in Arthur’s time. And judging by various reliable research sources, this is true.

England didn’t have vanilla in the time of Arthur.

However… Merlin did.

It was the wildest thing, how the whole thing happened. One day, Merlin was trying to conjure some more soap for Arthur’s laundry, and right in the middle of the spell he sneezed, and this weird stringy brown thing appeared. He showed it to Gaius, of course, who ran a bunch of tests on it, but ultimately declared this strange seed pod was too bitter to be eaten.

When Merlin cleaned up Gaius’ work table, he discovered that the rags he used to clean wound up smelling really amazing. That gave him the idea, after being faced with doing Arthur’s laundry later that day, to use the seed pod extract in the washing water. And sure enough, it conquered the stink of Arthur’s sweaty training socks.

Arthur loved the smell of his washed clothes so much that of course Merlin used his “sneeze-spell” often to conjure more vanilla seed pods, whenever he needed them. He put vanilla extract in Arthur’s soaps, and his candles, and in his laundered linens.

All to make Arthur happy.

[bending-sickle]

Cyclone Dana in Spain causes worst floods in thirty years, raining at a rate of 445 liters per meter squared per hour, hitting hardest in Valencia and Castilla-La-Mancha. Death toll currently (Oct. 31) stands at 158.

Article in El País (in Spanish)

Article in The Mirror (in English)

[tobacconist]

your mother is a...

ing... lorem ipsum... ad minim veniam... TRRAGULA!.. hippopotamus... republican... and daniel radcliffe... with a bucket of... in a castle far away where no one can hear you... soup!.. with a bucket of... mickey mouse... and a stick of dynamite... magical... alakazam!

[paganminiskirt]

A year ago I started writing a fic where Armstrong topped Sundowner because I wanted to mess around with the idea of robogenitals and y’know power dynamics and allat but I stopped after a scene where Armstrong slapped his ass and took note of how it sounded like hitting an exercise ball

[cruxymox]

last ones.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

What was that crazy music video type thing you included on that post about ALW being an ass to Patti Lupone? I have never seen that before and I am both intrigued and horrified. I only recently got into Phantom, and all this craziness is just delighting me. 😂

For context, this is the video referred to in this ask:

This was a promo video done in 1985 (I think), to promote Phantom. Those are the original lyrics by Richard Stilgoe, which he wrote before Charles Hart was involved. You'll recognize a few here and there, but a lot of them are... weird, to say the least (weird enough for Cameron "Satan" Mackintosh to tell ALW to either find someone to help out Stilgoe, either outright fire him, or else he wouldn't produce Phantom anymore. And given it was proving to be a VERY costly show to make, even ALW knew losing CamMack was a no-no).

The staging is also different, because Trevor Nunn was the director at this point. And that's another funny (HA) story: ALW and Cameron Mackintosh had initially got Hal Prince to direct. And for those of you who don't know, Hal Prince is basically to musicals what Steven Spielberg is to cinema. He directed some of the most successful musicals of the latter half of the 20th century: Evita, Sweeney Todd, Fiddler on the Roof, West Side Story, Cabaret, Company... and that's the list of musicals I know even the uninitiated will recognize. So one day, on a whim, ALW decided to fire Hal Prince, which went about as well as you might expect: ALW chickened out of the dinner where he and CamMack were supposed to break the news to him, which led to CamMack having to sheepishly break the news to Hal Prince, who stormed out furious (AS HE SHOULD). Again, imagine yourself firing Steven Spielberg from making Saving Private Ryan and replacing him with, I dunno, the Russo brothers because The Avengers made a shit ton of money.

Why? My guess is that Hal Prince had the balls to tell ALW to stick it whenever he'd bring bad ideas on the table, so ALW basically decided to replace Hal Prince with the director for one of his previous musicals, Trevor Nunn (who is a decent director, mind you, making the comparison to the Russo brothers a little harsh).

Which musical was it, mind you? CATS.

IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO CATS.

And Steve Harley? He was a rock singer who got picked up along the way because they urgently needed someone to play the Phantom in the music video, and full offense but he's a worse singer than Gerald Butler in my opinion, and at least the latter could actually act. ALW realized that they needed someone else, and he basically smuggled the score to a comedic actor called Michael Crawford, who had some prior experience singing in musicals (he's in the film adaptations of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum and Hello Dolly, if you're interested), but he wasn't exactly the guy you'd think of for the Phantom? Thankfully, he proved everyone who might have doubted him wrong, and amazingly at that, but he was a gamble at the time nonetheless.

And as you may guess, the music video was kind of poorly received, and Trevor Nunn worked on a little musical called Les Misérables, which got piss poor reviews and ALW was at the head of them (CLASS ACT, THAT FELLOW). But the uneducated, unwashed plebs loved it so I guess that's the reason why it's still playing today, and not because it's one of the most beautiful scores ever written for musical theatre, summing up a 1,000 book perfectly and conveying emotions that could make angels cry, nah. /s Anyway, that led to ALW firing Trevor Nunn, and begging Hal Prince to come back, and he agreed - which really goes to show how gracious he is because I would have laughed in ALW's face.

And what happened to Steve Harley, you may ask? He found out with a call from CamMack that he was fired, with no explanation whatsoever, and it was only later that he found out Michael Crawford had replaced him. I mean, was it for the best? Yeah. Do I still feel kind of bad for Steve Harley? Yeah.

So yeah, thank your lucky stars Hal Prince, Charles Hart and Michael Crawford agreed to be in this. I'd also add Maria Bjornson, but I really wonder now how she got involved in the first place because if that came from ALW, that might be the single best decision he ever made in his entire life. But I don't have any trust in him whatsoever to pull that off lmao

[snicklesnek]

So ... I've been meaning to ask this for a small stretch of time, figure I might as well get it out of the way now. What's the meaning behind your current blog header (that line with "the veggie fascist nazi potato skinhead")?

Genuine inquiry with no, like, accusation or judgment. Just to be clear. I've mostly figured this whole while (what with the bits and bobs I've seen of your blog) that it must be sarcastic or maybe some kinda inside joke. But I also admit it has caused me to cock an eyebrow now and then.

Thanks!

So basically this guy was spouting nonsense on a political post, as you do. I tried to correct him, point out that his argument made no sense, etc. He VERY quickly jumped to insults, except they were the most wildly uncreative, nonsensical insults I have ever heard. He didn't *technically* call me a "veggie fascist nazi potato skin head," but some combination of those words through a few messages that I chalked up to that because it's just ridiculous.

I think he was trying to insult the original header I had at the time with the "potato skin head" bit? It was something like "Ascended from potatoes" because my username on Reddit was PotatoIsYes before I emigrated here. I think I also used that username on this site for a bit before changing it as well. As for the rest of it I have no clue. I'm not vegan or vegetarian so idk where "veggie" is coming from, I just don't think he knows what fascism is, and I have absolutely no ties to the nazi party (except for maybe a distant Italian relative supporting Mussolini).

The real kicker is I somehow managed to find him AGAIN more recently, and yet again he was being a bozo on a political post! This time he was arguing with someone else who I actually befriended over out mutual shenanigans involving this guy. He even gave the other guy his own cursed title; Baby Killer. I'm sure you can figure out what he was trying to say with that one, but basically his argument through that whole thread was "NUH UH U KILL BABIES."

I blocked him after that because he kept that whole conversation going for 2 goddamn days and it just stopped being funny, but yeah. Got a silly header, story, and a mutual out of it so I can't complain.

[ariel-seagull-wings]

After all, what is freedom?

(Millôr Fernandes, 1965)

Despite everything that has been said and everything we have said about freedom, many of you are still naturally convinced that freedom does not exist, that it is a mythological figure created by the pure imagination of man.

But I assure you that freedom exists.

Not only does it exist, but it is made of concrete and copper and is one hundred meters high. Freedom was donated to the Americans by the French in 1866 because at that time the French were full of freedoms and the Americans had none.

Receiving freedom from the French, the Americans placed it on Liberty Island, at the entrance to New York Harbor.

This is the indisputable truth.

So far, freedom has not penetrated American territory.

When Bernard Shaw was in the United States, he was invited to visit freedom, but he refused, saying that his taste for irony did not go that far.

No one knows what those pointy things placed on the head of freedom are.

They look like anti-aircraft defenses.

It certainly isn't a laurel wreath.

In the past, it was customary to crown heroes and gods with laurel wreaths.

But when freedom was donated to the United States, we Brazilians had already demoralized the laurel, using it to flavor beans.

The construction of the monumental effigy cost France three hundred thousand dollars.

When freedom arrived in the United States, a pedestal was made for it, which, being American, cost much more than the main one: four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Thus, freedom challenges the assertion of some of our friends, who say with a big mouth and an imported phrase, that the “Price of Freedom is Eternal Vigilance”.

It isn't.

As we have just demonstrated, the price of freedom is seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

That was almost a century ago.

Because currently the International Monetary Fund calculates the price of our freedom in three ports and seventeen deposits of strategic minerals.

[goostiebee]

that's not an eyeball...

[lookslikethatsallthetimewehave]

wait. mya wasn't in the original comic where jorge was a ginger?

She fell out of existence for the comic strip XD

(They spelled her name wrong, lol)

[mokio294]

LADYBUG. & MUSE DASH.

On the bench press, but not to make her boobs taller...

Cause she'll be damned if she'll let some motherfucker put his hands on her

Mama, your life is calling, take it off mute

Strong is the new cute

If you don't know by now what this chick is about,

And now you know, which honey's running the show,

https://pcfs.fandom.com/wiki/File:Ladybug_(full_song)

[bending-sickle]

Sam O’Nella Academy - Pliny Explains it All: The Historia Naturalis Abridged (Books I-II)

[beastswithoutburdencomic]

Update.

Whit didn't come back right.

Read it on Tapas // Read it On Webtoons

Click here for image IDs on all published pages.

Image ID for the promo in both the alt text and under the cut.

IMAGE ID: In the middle panel, Whit vomits speech bubbles. The strings flow through his fingers as he tries to keep it in and populate the rest of the page. 

A ring of speech bubbles in the middle read, “... Is he in there?”, “There isn’t much to tell.” “But it was quiet for a long while after.”, “Quiero ver tu cara de nuevo-”, “Right here.”, “He was always so gentle…”, “Is he in pain? Is he angry? Did he tell you what happened to him?”, “But the curse can’t be broken-”, “... but it’s not Danilo, is it?”, and “There was a monster.” 

In the center of the ring is a white-outlined sketch of Violeta from the sternum up, raising one hand, worry in every line. It isn’t that Whit is merely echoing what’s being said.

Whit mimics the exact sound of Violeta’s voice.

In the triangular panels in the top left and right corners of the page, Danilo stretches out, his line art stretching around the middle panel. The top right panel shows the formless gold sewn into abstract, flowing lineart. The top left panel shows Danilo’s shocked face, his white eyes wide with recognition. 

Danilo’s body flows into the middle panel and is partially lost among the dark grey of the background and the faint outlines of the mask of Whit’s face embedded into the mudbender’s head from case 1, containing Whit’s soul.

The bottom panel shows a close up of Danilo’s head as several tails from the white speech bubbles wrap around the abstract black lines of his line art, as though attempting to put him back together. The gold color between the lines takes on a metallic sheen as Danilo’s original face is warped within the still-too-thin lines of his skull. End ID.

[fenmere]

While staring absently at Tumblr and occupying the system, instead of letting Sarah write her book, I managed to pull a long and thick nose hair out of our right nostril, and I feel so proud and satisfied with this feat.

That fucker is gone!

It was tickling us and very offensive.

[fennel-tea-and-nightshade]

WARNING: Discussion of sex

Ich: Also....ist Moros jetzt auf ihr Zimmer gekommen?

Viper: Ich weiß es nicht...Ich bin zwiegespalten.

Ich: Ok. Aber du solltest wissen dass [spoiler]

Viper: Ok sie haben Sex.

Ich: Also du musst jetzt nicht-

Viper: Nein, nein sie haben sex, sie haben sex. Eli bekommt 7 hickeys, wird hart pentriert und hat drei Orgasmen.

Ich: Das ging so schnell 👁👄👁