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raayllum · 5 months ago

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Chessmaster Ezran

It's no secret by this point that Aaravos is a chess master. He has literal pawns, his game motif is consistent across seasons (though mostly carried by the Key of Aaravos in arc 1), is associated with black and white, "eight in a line" from the 6x08 poem could reference 8 across as that's the number of pawns/pieces in a line in chess, and he's been referred to as a chess player, literally:

After more than a millennium of careful planning, moving and manipulating generations of humans and elves like pieces on some cosmic chess board, the machinations of the Midnight Star known as Aaravos are finally coming to bear.

The symbolism behind chess itself also talks about a "cyclical nature," the "unavoidable consequences" of each movement, the relationship in chess "between will and fate, but likewise between liberty and knowledge" and ideas of foresight and knowledge. (Meta here.) These are all things, of course, that Arc 2 is increasingly interested in exploring, looking at the ways characters are trapped by circumstances and choices and also deconstructing the idea of having "no choice".

I don't think at this point we have to prove, then, that Aaravos is a chess master of sorts; this is just the text, particularly because moving pawns around isn't that dissimilar from moving puppets around.

What is far more questionable, then, is Who exactly is Aaravos playing chess against?

Now, there's a few answers that could be the case. As displayed above, Aaravos lost one match against the Archdragons and was subsequently imprisoned, but it seems like maybe he was totally aware they were in the game, per se ("he let his guard down" / "as the day you betrayed me"). And while Aaravos hates the archdragons accordingly ("I'm glad you took down that arrogant monster"), they're very clearly not who his endgame victory is against. If he'd wanted to just destroy only them, he probably could've done so a long time ago.

At the same time, I don't think we can directly say the Startouch elves themselves. While they're the people he seems angriest at ("and when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky"), and therefore probably the people he wants revenge against the most... It doesn't seem like the Stars have been aware of what's going on down here in Xadia in centuries, and therefore, haven't been 'responding' to any of Aaravos' moves since he was banished and left behind. I wouldn't that it couldn't be him and Leola in some kind of proxy war, but if First elves like Aaravos are at the top of the magical hierarchy, and magic-less humans are at the bottom, it makes sense for a human to ultimately upend said hierarchy (with or without magic), don't you think?

Additionally, none of this is to say being cognizant of the Game is required to be Aaravos' opponent, but that Aaravos needs an active and reoccurring adversary to respond to. The good news is that he has one.

Now let me explain.

Set Up

While Ezran may not seem like an obvious choice — he's not a mage, he's not even one of Aaravos' current pawns to reward a 180 turn around if they turned against him, nor has he directly foiled Aaravos' plans the way Rayla has (at least once) — I think that's precisely why he's the one who's potentially in this role, symbolically at least.

While other characters are tied to the game motif in being pieces (Avizandum, Harrow and Sarai's graves, Callum and Viren's intros, the wooden Rayla doll from 1x04 of all episodes), Ezran is tied to being a piece mover and recognizing that the game and puzzle exists, each time. One that he can solve; one that he can win.

Now, part of that is helped by Ezran inheriting Harrow's status of being a thematic opposite to Aaravos. Aaravos 'serves' in order to gain control and power, and Harrow tries to even out of the scale of his control and power by serving the people: a servant king. Where Aaravos doesn't seem to see anyone as a person, in line with the way he literally uses his pawns, encourages dark magic, and dismisses his enemies, Ezran sees everyone — including animals, elves, dragons, enemies, etc. — as people (re: his sadness in 3x09 as he has to fight and kill people he wanted to save, because they literally won't stop attacking and have been robbed of their own humanity wilfully).

Piled on top is Ezran's own dichotomy of being both a child and a king ("A child is freer than a king") that mirrors Aaravos deriding the group as "pathetic children" while also relying on Claudia (whose the same age) to free him, and that he's playing a game at all that likewise involves his key ("It's a toy, a piece from a children's game" / "The whining child king, in over his head, and he knows it").

And more than that, Ezran has his own game motif. So let's talk about it:

Hide and Seek (Truth telling and Game Motif)

What begins as a little boy's favourite game, in addition to heartbreakingly always reminding you of just how young Ezran is in canon, evolves into a hide and seek game of world altering proportions. Arc 2 is largely about searching for / the acquirement of fully actualized knowledge (befitting of a mystery, mind you) and subsequently, the game of hide and seek is on for that knowledge. They just have to beat Claudia to the finding, first of the map, and then of the prison.

Knowledge of where the prison is hidden that Ezran uniquely carries and uniquely puts him at risk for. This is, of course, a call back to Ezran being the one to uncover the initial mystery of the egg (similarly to how Callum uncovers the truth behind primal magic and the fates of Rayla's parents). He discovers the egg in the dungeons, he advocates for telling the truth and being open and honest, and he is the Truth Teller of the series in so many ways, even if that doesn't mean he's infallible.

I had a speech planned for today. It was about peace and love and hope. But I think I left something out. I ignored something that was true. I denied something that is undeniable.

Ezran bears witness to the things that other people don't see, or the other things that people don't understand, as while usually we're let in on the loop ahead of time, Ezran's actions and discoveries — finding the egg, retrieving it, showing up the Bookery in the nick of time — are kept behind closed doors until the reveal. Much like Aaravos, I might add. Ezran wears the blind fold like is father did (screams in Celestial elves) properly, but can see clearly at the same time by extending it to all peoples simultaneously.

If the stars are evil because they are indifferent and potentially ignorant, if Aaravos is evil because he is aware of what's going on but unsympathetic, than Ezran is their true opposite in being 1) consistently and constantly thematically and literally aware of what's going on (i.e. his brother's sadness, Rayla's feelings upon her return, the feelings of dragons, Claudia's fight with Ibis) and 2) holding sympathy regardless (even for Aaravos).

If the truth is hidden, Ezran will find it. And that's exactly why he's uniquely fit to go up against Mr. I never lie in a thematic chess match across the whole series, so let's start unpacking it.

Kingship and Clarity (2x08, 2x09)

I'm not going to touch on S1 that much as the majority of what I would've noted is already in the previous sections, so with that in mind I want to talk the back half of S2, specifically Ezran finding out about Harrow onwards.

Upon receiving the news, Ezran is cruel to both Rayla and himself.

E: You knew? I'm such an idiot! I should've figured it out. When we met you, you had two of those assassin-y ribbon-y things. But one of them fell off that night! R: Yes. That must've been when he fell. E: Fell? Fell?! R: Yes. E: He didn't fall Rayla, he didn't trip and fall on the ground, he got killed!

Now there's parallels here about how Moonshadows will dress things up in prettier language than what's actually happening, and in Harrow's rejection of the same thing from Viren ("Call it what it is: dark magic") and Callum's critique in 3x08 ("You've got a nicer word for it?"). But the most overt thing is what we know about associations with falling and death from the elf we just recently got the name of: Aaravos.

Moving on, I want to talk about how Ezran's realization and acceptance of his father's death causes him to realize that he likewise needs to go home: "Maybe I can help the world better from the throne. I can do whatever I can to stop the war". (Something something Aaravos giving humans magic because he believed they could be 'better'.)

Aaravos was cast out of power and 'heaven' and Ezran ascends, yes, but Aaravos' descent caused him to lose clarity in childish revenge, whereas Ezran acquires clarity by moving into altruistic adulthood. He's not being radically changed morals or principles wise, but he's not stagnating. Furthermore, Ezran's bond with Zym that he acquires in 2x09 is like a 'healthy' version of Aaravos' channelling through Viren.

Ezran and Zym find that, due to their bond of love and understanding, they can see where the other person is, embodying the principle of the blindfold's basis being that you can see through another person's eyes and perspective. Here, Ezran's empathy / compassion is made completely literal, and helps Zym achieve the victory of flight in order to likewise save his brother and friend. Aaravos, meanwhile, channels power through Viren, and subsequently withdraws it entirely when it no longer suits him; Aaravos is seeing through Viren's eyes only, and they don't even win. Aaravos is eagerly participating in the fight at the beginning, but when he realizes his pawn may die, he switches tactics and "stays" with him. In contrast, Ezran and Zym achieve their aims and maintain their literal separation while being emotionally closer than ever.

This is all just set up for the Game, though. The first match that Aaravos and Ezra have, of course, is in 3x04 with

An Exchange of Kings (3x04)

As a game, chess is all about exchange and sacrifice. When Ezran is pushed into a corner of treating people like pawns (like symbols), he hates it.

What follows, then, is an exchange. In chess, if you get a pawn to the end of the board, you can exchange it for another piece that's already been taken (with the sole exception of your king, as that's checkmate). We see Aaravos do this slightly with Sir Sparklepuff and Viren in theory in 5x09, but we also see it here more directly with one king (Ezran) being swapped for another (Viren).

This is also, currently, the closest we see Ezran be a 'pawn' in any conceivable way. He's at the end of the board, he's being exchanged, except this time it's for the benefit of the opposing side. The main reason I mandate, then, that Ezran is still an Opponent rather than a piece is because of how this trade is inverted on an even broader scale later on this season:

The Final Battle (Or Not)

As king, and this is the particular piece of Chessmaster Ezran I think I adore above all else, he is fundamentally encouraged to treat his subjects like pawns.

Now, Ezran doesn't want to treat anyone this way. He doesn't view anyone, animal, human, elf or otherwise, as Not People. Even when the human armies are decidedly no longer literally human, and raging fiery monsters attacking him and everything he has left, he still holds sympathy for them and compassion for Claudia.

Claudia — and Viren — meanwhile, don't see their pawns that way at all. Claudia has yet to ever see Rayla as a person, only recognizing the elves who conveniently help her (Terry, Aaravos) as worthy of identified personhood; Viren and Aaravos' overall "plan" was to kill a baby dragon and use all the human army as "distractions". They never cared about anyone's personhood, once they'd gotten that far.

It is Ezran's distaste for seeing people as pawns ("Bait's not for sale, he's my friend!" / saving the baby glow toads) — preferring to see himself, like his father, as a servant king — versus that being all Aaravos has seemingly done for centuries that makes me feel like Ezran is the personal perfect opponent to eventually triumph in the end.

And going forward into S4, we see a few more of their matches take place:

S4 Ezran as the decision maker (4x04, 4x06)

One of the things I was most excited going into S3 was that Ezran, who'd been decisive but largely passive in the first two seasons, was going to be forced to make some difficult decisions. I was extra pleased, then, when we see Ezran step even more into that leadership role in S4 and S5; no longer is he mostly going along with Callum and Rayla's plans. Often times he's the one ultimately setting things up or making said decisions when the group is together.

It's his idea to tackle things together, and help Zubeia after all, in 4x04 (though he looks to his brother to receive an encouraging nod) and to bring Rayla along when she expresses doubts.

It's his idea to go find the puzzle pieces and express those next steps.

It's even his idea to bring Zubeia to Katolis that helps free up the Storm Spire for Claudia, as she takes the dragons leaving "as a sign" (unintentionally on Ezran's behalf, of course). But if Ezran is the stealth opponent here and there to Aaravos' mini matches, this is also something has happened before and will likely happen again, thanks to

The Orphan Queen

Chaos and confusion erupted and war threatened to tear Xadia apart, as now the elves suspected that the dragons had killed their queen. But truth came from an unexpected source. A young human girl discovered a great secret of history. A dangerous deceiver was revealed.

The last time Aaravos' plans firmly fell to pieces, and what led to his imprisonment, was ultimately the Orphan Queen. I've talked more about her potential parallels to Ezran in my Mirrored Trio theory post (as well as Callum's potential parallels to the Jailer) so I won't repeat too much here, but is an option if you'd like to see more.

The important thing to note here, though, is that Ezran's arc will 1) probably parallel the Orphan Queen's in ultimately being part of Aaravos' permanent defeat and 2) perhaps being one of the first to recognize the full scope of Aaravos' plans. I'd love it in particular if in S6, while at Katolis, Ezran does research into his ancient royal ancestor and learns more about her. Too late maybe to pass on the relevant information to keep Callum and Rayla from disaster, but... I expect this:

I should have seen it before. Ha! Long ago, it was a human who saw through the Fallen Star's schemes and helped Xadia put an end to them. You look so much like her.

to come to fruition eventually, in S7 probably. Aaravos may win his chess game in S6, after all, but he will eventually lose.

Season five, of course, also offered more evidence aligned with this reading:

Season Five Set Up

In S5, we see Ezran continue to be the Retriever and finder of objects in ways that thus far no else has really achieved.

Claudia tries and fails to retrieve objects, mostly; Viren probably comes closest, and it'll be more of an aim for Callum and Rayla in S6, I still expect Ezran to ultimately pull ahead in future seasons.

He's also associated heavily with light in the TDP short stories in ways we've largely only seen given to Rayla in canon as well, highlighting another similarity between them, and placing Ezran in a similar position as Zym as the world's hope ("Look at them, playing together. That's hope. They're the ones that are going to break the cycle"):

Even the waning moonlight struggled to pierce its veil. Somewhere out there were his friends. His duty. His king. Two years before, when the world had seemed darkest, Soren began to imagine Ezran as a kindling flame, a bright little light holding back the abyss. When he’d named Corvus a Crownguard, he’d told him that the young king was not only Katolis’ hope, but all of Xadia’s, too. Soren had sworn to protect and tend that light. To nurture it. And in his darkest moments, that oath gave him a reason to feel strong again, a way to keep smiling.

Ezran also acknowledges outright in 5x01 exactly what Aaravos is doing and is the first in canon to use language that references Aaravos' game as a chess game with it, too:

The Archmage Aaravos is trying to escape his magical prison. His pawns are working, even as we speak, to find him and release him back into our world. We need to stop them. Can you please help us find his prison?

Ezran's Plans

In the latter half of s5, we also see the group routinely go with or accommodate Ezran's plans as well, even if they don't all necessarily agree. This is true in 5x05, in which we see Ezran reiterate that violence is a last resort:

E: If Akiyu made it, then she must know where it is. Then we can stop Viren and Claudia from releasing Aaravos. C: Or, hear me out [...] How bout we hitch a ride up there, borrow this Novablade, then we wait for Aaravos to get out, and just stab stab, buh-bye bad guy! E: Wait, slow down. Shouldn't that be the last resort? If we can stop Aaravos from getting out at all, we can solve this without any violence.

and in 5x06 with talking to Finnegrin and saving the Baitlings.

R: But he's not known for doing favours out of the goodness of his heart. E: It's not a favour. The fate of the world is at stake. I'm going to go talk to him. C: I'll go with Ezran while you and Soren try the docks.

5x09

That said, I think about this line from 5x09 when it comes to all of the above:

E: One step ahead is okay. Because Domina Profundis told me something they don't know: the secret of the prison.

We find out, of course, that this is the prison is a pearl in a clam's mouth... something that Soren seemingly knew on account of travelling with Ez, but that Rayla and Callum did not. This puts a target on Ezran's back in the confrontation scene — she primarily attacks and interrogates him ("You know, don't you? Tell me everything you know little king, or I'll squeeze it out of you!") — and Ezran nearly gives the game away to disaster, so it's, again, not like he's perfect.

It does however showcase yet another example of Ezran knowing something that other characters discover after the fact, and more rarely in TDP, that the audience discovers after the fact (compare this with how we know Harrow is dead well before the princes do, for example, or that Claudia and Viren are already up to no good in early S4).

I also don't think I have to spell out that Ezran knowing the Secret of the Prison — the very thing he set out to find in 4x05! — in seasons called the Mystery of Aaravos is noteworthy, either. While there are certainly more secrets to uncover — how, for example, the prison was built exactly; how was Aaravos trapped within it; how did two humans like the Jailer and the Orphan Queen get involved — I think those are firmly moving into Aaravos backstory territory alongside the rest of his mysteries (cube included) than just relating purely to the prison's construction, per se.

Ezran received the last pieces of the puzzle, and he carried it through to the end to what, technically speaking, should be checkmate.

I can't wait to see him do it again some day, successfully this time.

Values and Gift Giving Subversion

I've already said that Ezran primarily takes on Harrow's mantle in being the the clearest thematic opposite to Aaravos thus far. That doesn't mean Callum and Rayla don't have their oppositions and parallels to Aaravos as well (they absolutely do; Rayla is currently a pretty strong foil!) but again that Ezran is the certified Opponent.

A few final ways we see this manifest is in Ezran's values. We've already seen the ultimate difference in their views on personhood, but one of my favourite ways that heavily intersects it that Ezran loves all his friends for the exact reasons Aaravos berates them in 4x04.

Aaravos taunts Rayla over her seeming inability to kill, but Ezran is the first to tell Rayla that's unequivocally a good thing: "You do realize I'm an assassin who hasn't killed anyone?" "I think that's a good thing."

Soren is a failed son 'unloved' by his father, but Ezran reaffirms time and time again how much he loves Soren, and the two always have a kind word or look for each other ("I just don't want to fail you too" "Thanks Soren [...] You're the best crownguard a king could ask for").

In a season where Callum learns his path of magic may have gotten him in a world of trouble, Ezran reminds him of the positive effect magic has had on his life, even if it's difficult: "Lots of things are hard, Callum. Like magic. But you figured that out".

We also see that Aaravos is prone to false gifts and dangling carrots. He gave Ziard a staff that couldn't ultimately protect him. He gives Viren another month of life mostly to bait Claudia into helping him. He uses and discards; these people don't mean anything to him. Not anymore.

Ezran, meanwhile, is nothing but sincere, particularly in his presentation of his crown to Finnegrin and Rex Igneous ("It's not worthless, it's made of my father's sword" / "I wanted to carry that strength with me") while also recognizing the error in his thinking: "We've got it all wrong. We offered gifts that meant a lot to us, but the truth is, they don't mean anything to you." He then realizes what Rex Igneous truly needs, and it is successful; we see this again in how his speech in 4x03 helps heal Zubeia. Ezran sees emotional scars clearly, especially after 4x03, and he responds accordingly and sensitively to them most of the time. He knows what people truly need, and that's why he's a good gift giver.

Conclusion

In the final season I think it would be Neato if Ezran had to spearhead an army against Aaravos' forces and send his brother and friends in as generals and soldiers because he doesn't want to treat them like pawns, he loves them, but to beat Aaravos at his own game he has to do so (until maybe Callum can flip the board on its head, thematically, anyway). Thank you bye

#chessmaster ezran #ezran #tdp ezran #aaravos #analysis series #tdp #the dragon prince #game motif #tdp meta #analysis #multi #arc 1 #arc 2

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aeolianblues · 2 months ago

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“The masterplan was, there was no masterplan. Except to write good songs. Oh yeah, and to be the biggest band in the world. A modest ambition, but it put Oasis on the road to greatness.��

OASIS - THE MASTERPLAN (1998)

Plus some more pics of Oasis albums we have at our stations, sent to us promotionally by Sony Canada on behalf of Creation Records.

Liner notes below the cut:

The masterplan was, there was no masterplan. Except to write good songs. Oh yeah, and to be the biggest band in the world. A modest ambition, but it put Oasis on the road to greatness. "Me mam always used to say, God loves a tryer," Noel Gallagher says. "And I went, 'Why? Has he got a car?' She went, 'No, a tryer-Not a tyre." So the Gallagher boys did try, and if you want proof of how hard they tried then hear these tracks - B-sides, all of them, made by a band who believe a B-side is no excuse not to care. Outside of Britain it hasn't always been easy to hear Oasis B-sides. But in Britain or anywhere else, they sound majestic played back-to-back.

We open heroically with ACQUIESCE which is one of those all-time "shoulda been an A-side" numbers. (Creation Records certainly thought so, and who could blame them?) The song is about friendship in the widest sense and not, as often speculated, about the Gallagher brothers themselves. Noel sings the chorus because, he claims, Liam couldn't reach the high notes. Or he was in the pub. Whatever, it was written on a slow train to Wales and made possible because Noel likes to travel with his guitar. It's no surprise that Acquiesce is present: via the Internet, Oasis fans were asked to vote on this album's choice of tracks.

But the inclusion of UNDERNEATH THE SKY might have been "influenced" by Noel, who cites this as a favourite song. Its happy-wanderer feel was inspired by a pocket-book of travellers' quotes he came across, and the jollity's enhanced by a four-handed piano part courtesy of him and Bonehead (who tackles the tinkly bits, apparently).

TALK TONIGHT is another self-selecting choice, from Noel's acoustic repertoire. Beautifully tender, its thoughtful air derives from a Texas studio session: Noel was back after his brief flounce from the band on a US tour: "Me and Liam had a disagreement, probably about what shoes he was wearing, so I'd fucked off to Las Vegas." It was an Oasis fan in San Francisco who talked him down off the ledge. The same reflective interlude gave us another song, in HALF THE WORLD AWAY (which is Paul Weller's favourite Oasis track). The pressure was already building, though, when Noel began writing (IT'S GOOD TO BE FREE, at the start of those troubled American dates. He finished it in Las Vegas: "Cocaine psychosis," reckoned producer Owen Morris, detecting a Fear And Loathing vibe in that sinister guitar feedback. Accordion expert Bonehead donates the breezy coda, which lends a misleadingly cheerful touch to what was a deeply fraught Oasis session: "Believe me, it was horribe. it wasn't funny at all." The Morse Code segment, by the way, is meaningless so far as anyone knows.

The oldest song here is GOING NOWHERE, written around 1990 before the band was signed ("It's about what we were going to do when we got a shitload of money off Creation"); it was not recorded until after the Be Here Now album, when there was a hankering for something less massive. Noel and drummer Alan White are the only Oasis members involved, with piano, brass and horn players to bring a vaguely Burt Bacharach atmosphere. Noel only wishes he knew another rhyme for "car" and

"Jaguar." Nearly as vintage in its origins, however, was HEADSHRINKER: recorded for Some Might Say in '95, it was written about three years earlier, during the band's punkier phase. It's also one of Liam's greatest vocals, partly because of the freedom from pressure that doing B-sides can offer. Although a load of drug references were binned from the lyric, a manic edge remains to this tale of an early girlfriend Liam could not shake off. It may start out like The Faces' Stay With Me, but Noel says he was thinking of The Rolling Stones at the time. And ROCKIN' CHAIR dates from Noel's days in Manchester, planning to leave his own girlfriend and dreaming of the good life down in London.

FADE AWAY first surfaced on Cigarettes & Alcohol, and was probably elbowed off Definitely Maybe in favour of Slide Away. Since then the chorus alone has guaranteed its popularity with Oasis fans: "The dreams we have as children fade away...

It's about growing up but not growing old," says Noel, echoing a John Lennon belief that you won't get anything unless you've got the vision to imagine it. It's a classic Buzzcocks trick, this, placing a wistful lyric inside the most glorious rush of punk rock energy. That said, it was a relief for Noel to do a track like THE SWAMP SONG, which required no words at all. Alongside Roll With It, The Swamp Song was a warm-up exercise for the Morning Glory sessions; it was also used to set the sound levels at Glastonbury, which is where Alan White's thunderous drumming was taped. Later on, when Paul Weller turned up for Champagne Supernova, he added The Swamp Song's harmonica and duelling guitars: "Very rock'n'roll," chortles Noel, "but we didn't manage to stand back to back once, which I was very upset about!" Its working title "The Jam" was scrapped, tragically.

Contrary to previous credits, I AM THE WALRUS was not recorded at the Glasgow Cathouse, but at a conference of Sony executives, gathered to hear Creation's new signings. Oasis used to play it at gigs in Liverpool, as an act of bravado aimed at the local bands, even The Beatles never did this one live. Technical note: any "looseness" in Noel's guitar playing here is attributed to half a bottle of Sony-financed gin. Speaking of guitars, the soaring LISTEN UP used to boast a solo much longer than the one you hear in this version; Liam had wanted it shorter, so Noel had disagreed on principle ("If you don't argue with Liam he gets upset"). Four years later, Liam has got his way. The poppy STAY YOUNG, meanwhile, was first ear-marked to be "the Digsy's Dinner" of Be Here Now, until Noel wrote Magic Pie and dumped it. Stay Young wound up on D'You Know What I Mean?, and could have been another A-side if its composer had actually liked the song. But he doesn't. (Audiences, who have more sense than songwriters, all love it.)

But we end with a track that Noel Gallagher is definitely proud of. In fact he regards THE MASTERPLAN as his finest piece of work. Even Liam now wishes he'd sung it himself. The writing came easily, inspired in equal measure by a Japanese hotel corridor and a good, relaxing smoke. "I'm the best lyricist in Oasis, is how I like to say it," Noel shrugs. "But to me this sums up your journey through life. All we know is that we don't know." Is it, we might wonder, sung to Liam? ("Please brother let it be") Again the answer is No.

"We're all brothers and sisters," says Noel. And so we are, and so are Oasis whether named

Gallagher, McGuigan, White or indeed Bonehead. They're brothers and they're tryers, all five. They try for themselves and they try for the rest of us. No wonder God loves them.

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secretlykoishi · 1 year ago

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A rant about Foul Detective Satori/Cheating Detective Satori

Sorry, this will be long, but I have a lot of thoughts I need to get out. Spoilers abound.

I really tried to like this series. I defended it for awhile, and I thought it couldn't be as bad as SSiB, my previous least favorite Touhou official manga. As one might expect from my name and pfp, I am very attached to the Komeiji siblings. I also really love mysteries, especially if they're murder mystery themed like this one. But I found myself enjoying it less and less as it went on, and Chapter 29 finally killed the series for me. I'm so disappointed by how Satori is treated in the series named after her. You would think that being the titular character might make her at least A main character, but she's not even a secondary character. She's practically a glorified extra, which sucks because her ability that previous caused her to be hated by everyone in-universe could have been used to show her becoming loved for the exact same reason. Even worse is that the series is now fighting for who actually can be a main character between like five different people, and none of them are the titular character. Yeah, it was great seeing Flandre again, but why is she still playing such a large role in this when it's moved so far past the Scarlet Devil Mansion?

And as much as I love Reimu and Marisa, I can't deny that they are quite possible the WORST characters to lead a mystery story. They have no interest in figuring out the why, the how, the who, any of the things that make a mystery compelling. They just want to end the incident and be done with it. That works fine for games where it's not trying to build up a mysterious and tense atmosphere, but for something that's meant to be a mystery story, I can't help but wonder why they're so involved. Especially since this manga is probably the worst offender of a trend I've noticed recently of Reimu canonically losing at pretty much everything.

Characterization also started out pretty strong. We saw Reimu and Marisa being concerned about those around them instead of just themselves. Flandre was given interesting character shading that made her seem less violently unhinged and more of a standoffish devil-may-care kind of anti-hero. Orin was in the story at all (seriously, how long has she been tied to that damn tree!), and Satori was an active and key player at first. Now, Reimu and Marisa are in this pretty much just for themselves (which circles back to my previous point), Flandre has fully reverted into pure fanon characterization, actively UNDOING development she had (and don't worry, undone progress is going to be commented on more). And Satori is a glorified extra, which is insulting not only because the series is called Foul/Cheating Detective Satori, and not only because she's the only character who seemingly IS interested in the who, the what, the why, the how, and so on. And, she's the only one with a decent chance of solving things. It would be so much more interesting to see this from her perspective.

While it's not really here as much anymore, when the artist switched, I noticed a lot of very out-of-place comedy for a story that seems like it's trying to present itself seriously. I know comedy is nothing new to Touhou, but the story had established itself as a far more dramatic and serious story with the first artist, and I don't think it's unreasonable to want the same tone to carry throughout an entire story so it can be consistent.

Of course, what hasn't stopped is the awful pacing. This story has such a huge issue with padding that it genuinely makes me sad. It's gotten to the point of actively undoing progress, possibly best demonstrated in the most recent chapter (chapter 29 at the time of writing). The story drags itself out for so long that any time progress is made, you'd better not expect it to stay, because it WILL change anything before that progress means anything, and then we're back to square one. Like, for example, how we finally figured out who was possessed (Kyouko) only for the pacing to drag on so long for no good reason that it changed before that information could mean anything. Even more insulting, the person now possessed is the titular character, who by all accounts, should have been the story's heroine.

I also can't get into The Jailbreak King at all. I mentioned before that Silent Sinner in Blue was my previous least favorite official Touhou manga. There are two reasons for that, both present here. One is the aforementioned pacing and padding, and the other is the ridiculously OP antagonists. Yorihime made me enraged with how ridiculously flawless she was, as she was completely untouchable. The new villain Mizuchi is that but worse. She is pretty much entirely invulnerable and always 10 steps ahead of everyone. This could make for a good mystery premise if we got to slowly chip away at that lead, but again, the pacing and padding makes that impossible. Not to mention all the lore it messes up (like the most powerful youkai in the setting being incredibly easy to possess), or the fact that it makes no sense why Mizuchi can get away with possessing one of the sages and no one is particularly bothered by it.

I can't even be mad about the premise. It is such a cool premise. Like I said, a character who is hated in-universe by everyone for her ability to read minds because people are creeped out about it is now the only one with a chance to resolve a mystery that threatens pretty much everyone. It's a chance for redemption for her. It's her chance to prove that her ability isn't a bad thing to people that aren't herself. And if anything, is also a way to potentially prove that to her sister, who closed her third eye and shut off her emotions because of the hatred that she received from the people who hated them. Satori was literally the only one capable of figuring this out and solving this mystery in a timely manner that kept people safe. But between being demoted to extra and the pacing and padding being so awful, that I can't really see happening anymore. And now that she's become a victim in her own story, I don't think it's realistically possible for that opportunity to come again at this point. It took what could have been a really good premise, a really good mystery with a really good redemption for a character in universe was hated by everyone, potentially giving her the chance to finally be loved by people for the very reason that they hated her, and it fucking threw it in a garbage can and set that garbage can on fire.

So, yeah, all in all? I'm super disappointed by this series.

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f1-birb · 1 year ago

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i do find the narratives of sky sports pretty funny though. last weekend, george is out in q1 while his teammate goes on to take pole, and it's all poor george. this weekend, lando gets damage, still makes it to Q3, still outqualifies both astons and a merc (who has a bigger gap to his teammate than lando does, funnily enough) and it's all "lando's made it obvious he's incapable of leading a team, he has no confidence, he can't handle pressure." i've said it before and i'll keep saying it, but this accusation that lando benefits from "British bias" from sky is bullshit. sky's British bias extends to merc, they couldn't care less how lando (as evidenced by last weekend's conspiracy theories + whatever shit they were trying to sell today) or alex (channel 4 is the only one who ever recognizes him at silverstone, he even brought that up when sky tried to act all friendly to him this year lol) do.

I have always said this! British bias, is really just Sky bias and it's pretty much always aimed at Mercedes and has been for years to be honest

Lando and Alex, whether it's because they're only half Brit idk, do not get the same that Lewis and George do. As you said Alex literally pointed it out that Sky only recognise him as British when he does well so they can say they have 4 British drivers

With Lando they've always been flip-floppy, one minute they like him, the next they don't and there's the main culprits for it (Crofty, Martin, Simon) but even from people who usually are more on his side I've heard it lately (Naomi) - the only people I cannot deny he gets bias from are Natalie and Jenson which I don't even blame them tbh and I support those opinions, but still Jenson would call him out if he did anything legitimately wrong

Half the time it's just waffle anyways, WE all know from what McLaren and Oscar and WEBBER of all people, have said is that Lando's a fucking fantastic teammate, is a huge team player and has been since basically the start of his F1 career (and last year basically had to carry McLaren on his own), has been super supportive and helpful to Oscar and more than that we knew he could drive well, we've always seen that he could drag a tractor to a podium (Imola 22 ily) he's just now got a car that actually lets him show it more

#lando norris #british bias only extends to lando and alex when they do well #don't @ me on this #birb speaks

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redbuddi · 1 year ago

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How will you handle the characterization of characters like Sam and Tucker? Danni?

What are some of the biggest changes to the overall story you are looking forward to exploring?

*cracks knuckles* alright here we go!

Sam and Tucker are extremely important to the series, more important than I think people tend to give them credit for, and that importance would be retained in Redux.

Tucker would be more or less the same as the OG Tuck, he's still a big tech geek, still loves meat, is still simultaneously the comic relief and the voice of reason depending on the situation, etc. I mostly plan on just making a few subtle tweaks to his character to flesh him out a bit more than the show was willing to.

Now is the time to mention that Redux will take place the same year the OG show came out, 2004. So the tech that Tucker salivates over will be tech that's dated by our standards, he still uses a PDA like a cell-phone, and carries around a lot of big chunky gadgets like portable CD players and such. While he is mostly a programming guy, he will build and invent things, and will help Danny do the same. He invented Danny's goggles and co-invented the Thermos with Danny.

Tucker is the most emotionally available of the trio, he doesn't always have solutions but he's willing to hear people out, and with his weak constitution he is the least fond of fighting, tho not purely pacifistic. He is the most outgoing of the group as well, but doesn't desire popularity, he's pretty satisfied with his lot in life. He's just a pretty amicable guy and likes to talk a lot. Like in the show, he's been friends with Danny for the longest, and knows him the best.

"Time to hack the mainframe..."

*swats away computer*

"Hello! This is the front desk, right? Sorry, I'm new and no one's told me the company password yet..."

I'd also take out his more wannabe-casanova traits, cause it's just kind of uncomfortable. I see him as more of a jughead-type, commenting on the drama and romance from the sidelines while never himself being too interested in it. He'll still joke about ladies loving him, but it'd be more tongue-in-cheek and self-aware.

Overall he tends to try to outsmart or talk his way out of situations, which can be a huge help, but also sometimes makes things worse. His smooth-talking has a 50/50 success rate.

He has a pretty good relationship with his parents, but can be kind of distant with his Dad, who is pretty overbearing and really wants Tucker to follow in his footsteps as the Mayor. It would be a running joke that Tucker is so disinterested in being the Mayor that he often times doesn't even justify his dad with a response. He will literally just leave if he can tell that that's where a conversation is going.

Sam is probably the character that would be overhauled the most. The OG Sam isn't terrible, but is very obviously an attempt at a counter-cultural character by people who know nothing about counter-culture.

The biggest change I'd make is that she no longer comes from old money. I get what the OG show was trying to do, but even as a little kid I couldn't really buy it or her whole rebellious thing. Not when she still greatly benefited from her family's money.

Instead, she comes from a well-off upper middle-class house, and she hates her parents. Not just because they don't understand her, but because her parents are actually horrible. Her Dad is a lawyer who is always looking for loopholes to get the rich out of trouble, and her Mom runs an MLM selling cheap clothes to desperate housewives (Think LuLaRoe). Her parents don't not love her, but they are deeply terrible people who, at the end of the day, only really care about themselves. Sam has sworn to do everything in her power to not be like them. The only reason she hasn't run away is because they're not home often enough for her to have to deal with them too much.

Danny: "Ow! Watch where you're poking!"

She tries to do as much on her own as she can, up to and including making basically everything she wears out of discount clothes and thrift shop purchases. While she does get an allowance, she doesn't spend any of it, she's saving her money so that she can leave home the moment she turns 18 and never look back. She is more interested in fashion than she often lets on, and dreams of running an eco-friendly fair trade boutique. After destroying capitalism, of course. She designed and made the alterations to Danny's jumpsuit, with the help of spectral thread that Danny had invented for her birthday.

In this series, Sam isn't just a holier-than-thou goth girl, she's a full-on anarchist punk-rock bitch, and she's proud of it. She will always speak her mind when she feels an injustice is taking place, and unlike in the OG series, Danny and Tucker will usually be there to back her up. That said, there's plenty that she gets up to on her own, she has had her brushes with the law, she's gotten into fights, she does not protest peacefully, and she usually doesn't involve Danny or Tucker because she doesn't want them to feel obligated to help her and then get hurt because of it.

She is strongly antisocial, and generally pretty closed off. She is the type of person who will listen to everyone's problems but won't speak about her own unless pushed. She is deeply loyal to and protective of her friends, sometimes to the point of being a little overbearing.

As for Danni, I certainly have thoughts, but I haven't settled completely on how she would fit in to the overall story. I do want her to be in the series, I just need to figure out what her deal would be.

EDIT! Completely forgot to answer the second part of the question!

The biggest change I'm looking forward to is giving Valerie more screen time, haha.

#danny phantom #phantom redux #ask #asks #my art

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in-the-abyss · 2 years ago

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I had an epiphany while taking a shower and couldn't stop thinking about what if Martyn, as a Listener, could hear all the deaths in the life series. Long story short, I blacked out and when I woke up I had written 5000 words about minecraft men. Enjoy!

SPOILERS FOR LIMITED LIFE

---

"Why don't we all just die, and then we go down to less than an hour each?"

"No armor, no shield."

Martyn says something, a joke perhaps.

He still feels the sound of the deaths echoing in his ears.

Jimmy had been the first to fall, the song of a terrified canary falling in a swirl of feathers.

Then it was Skizz. Martyn had never heard such a peaceful death. The tolling of the bell had sounded like a promise.

Joel had died trying to avenge his fallen ally. There was a desperation in his Sound, a frenzy that somehow carried over into the wolf howl that lingered for hours in the air.

And so it went, one after the other. Each with its own Sound, and Martyn had Listened to each and every one of them. Bdubs was an ancient clock. Tango had been sudden, muffled scream that died away almost at once. Scar sounded like a betrayal, an explosion and then nothing. He'd known right away when Cleo died; after all, they had been soulmates. Martyn would never forget the zombie howl that had accompanied him throughout all of Double Life, even if he wasn't always on better terms with his partner. Bigb and Pearl; always nosing around, always Watching. Their Sound, like Grian's, was as old as time itself. Etho's death he himself had been a part of, but he had heard nothing in the end. Bloodlust had overcome him, like a true Red, and Etho was always very stealthy anyway.

Martyn Listened to each and every death, and tried not to let the rage get the better of him.

In a server full of death, being a Listener is like torture; sounds everywhere, the ticking of all the clocks at once as if they were one. Martyn had retreated to shore in the hope that the waves would block out the cacophony of death, but it barely covered it.

That isn't the worst of it though. No, that would be the murmurs. For beings meant to only Watch, boy are they loud. They are particularly noisy now, clearly interested in what Scott is proposing.

His blood boils under his skin, but he barely manages to control himself. He returns to the conversation and tries to ignore the voices.

"...like our forefathers," Scott says.

Impulse nods, solemn.

"For those that have fallen before us."

Scott keeps talking, oblivious to the voices surrounding them. Martyn feels himself nodding, but he's on autopilot. He can Listen to Them. The Watchers are elated, he can hear them anticipating the slaughter.

They had been so excited with each kill, cheering with each Player who disappeared in a blaze and a scream on their lips.

He could almost see it; one of them, standing still before two cold bodies of those who used to be his enemies, his allies. Hands and eyes dripping crimson blood.

The Watchers would cheer, once again basking in death but too cowardly to engage in it. There would be a winner, once again, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter and it never mattered because the Watchers don't care who lives and who dies, only that something happens, that it's entertaining enough and worth Watching. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

His vision turns red.

He won't let them win, not again.

"Nah, I don't wanna play this silly game."

He punches Scott, pouring a bucket of lava over his head. Before he can scream, he's already plunging his sword into his ally's stomach.

A sea wave fills his hearing for a few moments. Martyn shakes his head.

He feels a pang of remorse, but he can still hear the murmurs. They won't give up, not unless he ends this. He grits his teeth.

He turns to Impulse. He can hear their shouts of surprise, vaguely, but refuses to listen. He has heard enough.

"I wanna do it this way. I wanna do it exactly this way! It doesn't matter if you're a Mean Gill or a Bad Boy or a Neighbour or a Clocker!"

He chases Impulse for a while, the unarmed man is hardly a match for his full gear. His sword pierces Impulse through the back. The echoing thunder blankets everything, and Martyn allows the bloodlust to overcome him for a moment. For a moment, he is a Red, and blood covers his vision.

"YOU'RE ALL GOING DOWN!" he roars, euphoric. "NONE of these niceties! This is a death match for a reason!"

The Watchers are not happy. Their murmurs no longer ring in his ears. For once, he Hears nothing, not even his own ticking. All is silent.

He grimaces to the sky, baring his teeth. His red eyes sparkle. His head is beating; he can barely feel his limbs. He is the pure image of a Red, the bodies of his once friends at his feet. It feels amazing! It was so easy!

"Oh that feels GOOD! Time is delicious! HAHAHAHAHA!"

He doesn't know how much time he spends laughing, shouting nonsense at the clouds. There is a strange fog covering his mind, getting thicker and thicker. He vaguely hears his own ticking, time descending further and further, but Martyn knows it doesn't matter anymore.

He hears a countdown. It's Them, of course it is. Dozens of voices singing in unison, waiting. Watching.

The countdown ends.

One second, he's on the battlefield, blood staining his hands. The next, he's falling.

The laughter dies on his lips.

He can't hear the ticking at all. His time is up.

They are gone.

They are gone, and Martyn is falling.

He's a comet, and he's falling.

Martyn is free.

#limited life #limited life spoilers #martyn inthelittlewood #life series #scott smajor #impulsesv #idk how to tag this #fanfic #my writing #the abyss speaks

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noveratus · 11 months ago

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Alright, so after finishing playing through the pokemon DLC, here are my thoughts:

For the good parts: the DLC is fun to play and pleasantly challenging, which is new for a pokemon game. It feels great to just walk around catching pokemon to fill the pokedex. The characters are a mix bag with Kieran and Drayton being the highlights but still not quite meeting the greatness of Nemona and some of the Gym trainers. The other ones just disappear in the back as nothing but obstacles. I think that they lack a bit of the soul the gym trainers have even with less screen time. I also found Nemona to be a far more interesting rival than Kieran since you always get this sense she is better than you, even though you beat her. It feels like an older sibling letting their younger sib play with them and getting down on their level. Kieran is still pretty good and quite a plot twist considering the leaks and trailers. He never goes full villain, just kind of an ass out of jealousy, which I think is a pretty interesting concept. Kieran feels like what Hop should have been in Sword and Shield.

The environments are also really great and fun to explore, I love how much personality different pokemon have. I also prefer double battles over single battles as I found out. They do require more strategy.

The story also fits with the story of a DLC, that being you, the player, meet this shy kid who becomes filled with jealousy and tries to become the best by making things very unfun for everyone else only to be demonlished by the player. His desperation leads to him seeking an even more powerful pokemon that ends up being a threat and has to team up with the player to stop them (the pokemon should have been peacharunt, but alas.)

Now for the bad

While teal disk is really, really good, it also increases my disappointment when it comes to the actual main game.

Let's start with the features. Why is flying locked behind a pay wall? It doesn't even make any sense when you take into consideration the story of the game. One of the main missions is all about making the cover legendary better until it reaches its maximum power, and yet there it is, gaining another 'form.' The return of throwing balls and even BBQs are things that I think should have been in the base game. Also, couldn't they have added at least a few more clothing options to the main game?

I can understand the legendaries being behind the pay wall, that's fine. The new areas, new pokemon, all of that is alright. That is what you put in a DLC, but a whole mechanical gimmick in the form of the stellar type, it only goes to show just how unfinished the core games were at launch. At this point, it feels less like the DLCs are extra content and more so that they are what the actual game was meant to be, but due to time constraints, they were half assed and, instead, if you want to play the actual game you have to pay another 30 bucks on top of the 60 that you paid for the unfinished, unpolished mess of a half game that was the core games. Ironically, this almost makes me miss the 3rd games in the franchise because, if you waited a year, you could just pay for the game once.

The last hour of the DLC feels like it was the hour that was missing from the central story of the game. Just replace Kieran with Arven being upset that his parents cared more about the pokemon than him, replace Briar with Nemona, and be excited to meet a new pokemon and Carmine with Penny and you can have the exact same story. Hell, it would make more sense for Geeta to trust the player and trainers from paldea with the investigation of the crystals instead of complete strangers. What was Nemona up to in Indigo Disco anyway? Are you telling me that Geeta would ask for the help of Carmine instead of Nemona? Nemona, whose original team we have yet to see? Don't get me wrong, I like the plotline in the DLC. I just don't think that that last part deserves to be DLC. It simply feels incredibly unfair and greedy. The least you can do is put out one complete main story instead of half assing 3 of them.

That's my rant, anyway. Expect a rewrite of these games soon. For the record, I really, really like the dlc. I would give it a solid 8.5/10. However, seeing it and what the base game could have been makes the core games drop down quite a bit, from a 6.5/10 to a 4/10.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon spoilers #pokemon indigo disk #rant #review

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sleepy-seal · 10 months ago

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Leucas

Does h3 ever stop hugging Acher when h3 gets h1s new body?

In general what does ocean think about the textures of the outside?

Is Leucas affected by the same kind of virus that Acher is?

What are all of th31r abilities?

Do you think when Leucas and Swap!Moth meet . that's it what might happen at that point

Same with Swap!Gale that's gotta be awkward

What type of minecraft player is Leucas?

Has Leucas ever tried to fistfight someone for the fun of it

Did you expect Leucas to become an important plot element?

Why a hologram instead of a robot?

What was the thought process behind Leucas getting attached to Acher?

..this one's super self-indulgent, but can we get what Leucas thinks about moth, gale and or acher

What are Leucas's Overload Questions? same or different to Acher's?

Any plot points you wanted to do with Leucas but couldn't?

PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO GUYS

- [news reporter voice] the story is still developing as we report. some sources say never

- leucas is Enthusiastic. th3y probably spent a good hour or so touching literally everything th3y can get th31r hands on like a toddler. once h3 got over the feeling of overwhelm, glitch was actually Very excited to feel textures. h1s favorite at the moment is cotton candy

- who knows ! :)

- as a hologram, th31r primary abilities deal with being a figure of literal light. so th3y can't pass through walls, because that's just not how light works. but because h3 is not restricted by gravity, th3y can hover and even run faster! these abilities, alongside wardrobe change and change in height, are limited to h1s code when th3y are connected to the Big Box. with the adapter a lot of the fun stuff is just not included to save room for the functionality of the hologram. it also makes leucas look considerably more distorted, whereas with the box it's easier to hide.

- stay tuned for that ;3

- i do have an idea for that though! not in the immediate future, but still something. it would include a talk with each other and sale congratulating leucas for th31r agency and also overcoming the Murder Phase. leucas initially resents sale for their recklessness and also a fundamental lack of connections but th3y grow past it and appreciate sale for learning and also thanking them because h3 wouldn't be who h3 is now without him.

- leucas (lore leucas at least) is more of a fighter, and also a collector. h1s favorite thing to collect is Anything Pink (and flowers)

- yes. it was acher

- NO LMAO 😭 leucas was a funny haha because orpheus was doing things with drew but now th3y are a major part of the story and also fundamentally altered Several people's arcs. i tripped and now leucas is a main character

- that's because of the substitute from puppet history!!! acher was also inspired from him but less so since he was a robot. leucas, when i thought of the initial concept, was a more direct inspiration off of the hologram. that's why h3 also ends up desiring corporeality (that last part was unintentional actually it's pretty funny)

- um. that was Also unintentional. at first it was just a silly meet up like Wow these murderous ai get along well! that's so neat!! but then the emotion stuff happened and now they are glued to each other.

- gale: blue!!! a little apprehensive but gale is nice to th3m and even gave h1m some clothes that didn't fit shell anymore. overall pretty good vibes

moth: very cool! it was pretty weird at first because at some point leucas actively avoided th31r final mission by just refusing to go near swoth but th3y couldn't do that. turns out that they have a bit in common!!! moth is nice to th3m, that's all h3 cares about [:

acher: BUDDY!!!!!!!!!! favorite guy ever. h3 loves it so so much and would do basically anything for her. would definitely give him poppies and rose bushes in minecraft

- they are pretty much similar to acher, but if you asked glitch to list all the digits of pi, probably around the 100th digit vi will start to spazz out.

- lore gale and leucas conversation :( they probably would have talked together about things and leucas' currently unresolved mental issues before gale introduced th3m to minecraft, but it never came to fruition

#LOREVERSARY QNA

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niseag-arts · 7 months ago

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On gender and warhammer: a personal account

Or: in light if recent events, I have been introspective for a bit. Personal history and shit. Feel free to ignore.

Let's start off here: I am nonbinary but largely closeted. I have large breasts that will not let themselves be hidden by a binder, and I have long hair (with an undercut, but I don't always have it tied up). The thing is, if I walk into a local game store, people are going to think I'm a woman.

I have been actively engaging with warhammer content for 5 years now. But let's start earlier.

When I was 14, my cousin introduced me to warhammer. I was obsessed with wolves so he showed me the space wolves and tried to get me to play. I asked my mum if I could get this game, but my mother told me that I was not allowed to play games in which people get slaughtered, and thus I had to disappoint my cousin and tell him that this wasn't for me. Life went on, my cousin and I lost contact, and I didn't think about this game he had been so passionate about again for years.

A lot happened. I went to university, came out as nonbinary to my friends, got in a relationship, and moved to a different country.

And then, one day, someone at the role-playing society I'm in posts a call for players for a Dark Heresy campaign. I find myself interested to re-explore this thing I only vaguely remember. So, I talked to the GM about making a tech priest. It excited me! I explain the concept to my partner, and she flips out at me about how this is disgusting and that if I play this that must mean that I want to be "less than human" as well. I play in the campaign anyway (the relationship was long-distance, so she couldn't actually stop me). We had a great time. I fell in love with the world building and dove into reading the novels on my e-reader. I couldn't do much more than that, not with the risk of my partner flipping out on me again.

After she broke up with me. I bought my first box of skitarii. It sat on my shelf. I lived in student housing, and I didn't have the space to work on them.

Now, something to know about me is that occasionally, I get dysphoric about my hobbies. I like arts and crafts and reading by the light of scented candles, among other things. And sometimes, when my brain is mean to me, it tells me that those are incredibly feminine and that they prove that I'm a girl.

So...one day, after I've moved into a rental property, I see those skitarii on my shelf and decide to open the box and put them together. I liked working on them, I love tiny detailed crafts! And, for once, that nagging dysphoria voice in my mind is quiet. It lets me paint my little dudes without telling me that this hobby is too feminine... because, well, it's warhammer. And, you know, I am fully aware that that is dumb and that warhammer is for everyone. But dysphoria isn't always reasonable. Regardless. I'm now very involved, happily painting my dudes and putting them on my bookshelf, reading the books, having a great time. I also make fanart and start talking to people on discord.

And then recently, someone in my social circle set up a demo game. I have about 500 points of admech at this point, so I pack up my dudes and learn how to play with them. I get beaten by his necrons a few times, someone else in the playgroup goes out of his way to read up on the specifics of my army so when I face his chaos marines he coaches me through, telling me things to do that I didn't even know I could do.

I returned to tumblr. And after a while I realise that I have lovely mutuals who appreciate me and I appreciate them and its all good. My experience with the fanbase so far has been great. Incredibly welcoming.

And then GW released female custodes. I am lukewarm on this, I like custodes, but I didn't really care at first... and then people started to spew hate. People are seething at the mouth at the existence of women. And it gets to me. I start feeling like maybe nobody wants me, a person assumed female, in "their" hobby. I look at my little dudes and wonder what i'll do with them now, if they'll remain on my shelf or if I'll give them to an irl friend.

But... no-one has been that way, irl. Nobody. I've met some folk with questionable political opinions, but even they were happy to talk to me about painting and things (even if they misgendered me all the way through, but swings and roundabouts). It's like the people yelling on the Internet are not actually in the lgs... but yeah, idk.

I've been having thoughts, and I needed to write them down somewhere.

And if you're my cousin reading this: It's not space wolves, but you were right. This is fun. Miss talking to you, man. (Didn't think you'd have a tumblr)

#don't worry my little dudes aren't going anywhere #just rambling #memories and things #personal

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breathenbounce · 10 months ago

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It's Just a Game

I grew up in a household that loved to watch sports. I was always against the grain when it comes to sports because in the past, I was a very antagonistic sports fan. My family tried to raise me on two premises. There are two baseball teams in Chicago, and you should always root for the team from where you were born. I disagreed with that as I was a White Sox fan through and through and despised the Cubs. I wasn't down with the 1985 Bears, but the 85 Dolphins since they beat them. I also loved the Blackhawks, and eventually found a way to root for the Miami Heat (because I was a very antagonistic sports fan.) However my feelings about sports have been starting to change over the years.

At the end of the day, sports is a game. It's where people compete, but unfortunately it has become much more than that over the years. What started as friendly competition between different humans has now become a pissing contest and a money heist.

First let me talk about the sports industry itself. There are billions of dollars at play here. Billions. Sports is a very marketable commodity and the athletes who participate are paid very large sums of money. I understand that this is what it is and it isn't' anyone's fault. As with most things, human begins find a way to take something beautiful and make it crazy. However, the way some of these athletes present themselves is not cool at all. They are role models to very impressionable young men and women who look up to them. Some of these athletes really do their best to maintain a positive image. People speak of hard work and getting your craft right, which i don't have a problem with. However, the drama show sports has become sucks. We should care more about what goes on in the field, than the locker rooms. The NFL has made itself a year round spectacle with the draft, the combine, and ofcourse we have salary caps and things like that which create much debate between fans.

Fueling the fans anger and "passion" about sports is the talking heads of ESPN and FS1. Listening to the ugliness that comes out of the mouths of people like Colin Cowherd, Skip Bayless just to name a few in insane. These people never have played sports, but they talk like they have so much knowledge about the game. They are very dismissive of people and their opinions. They add fuel to the hate machine that sportsmedia has become.

And the fans are taking things way too far. I have seen so many videos of fans fighting each other over silly stuff. I have seen fans dump popcorn on players heads. Anyone remember the malice at the palace? that was a result of a fan throwing a drink on a player.

As I said earlier, I like the Miami Dolphins. Their quarterback Tua Tagovailoa is one of the nicest, humblest, players i have ever seen, and he had led Miami to a couple of winning seasons, something us Finfans haven't seen since the days of Marino (the guy who made ma fan.) Yet all the complaining and personal attacks on Tua are crazy.

My bottom line is I believe the sports world should be looking at ways where they put kindness and sportsmanship first. I respect peoples opinions but some of the sports talkers out there need to go. Sports has become a world of toxicity and I never really became a huge sports fan until I reached my late 20s and early 30s because I felt I couldn't identify with anything. As I have taken a deep dive into my life, I find myself caring less and less about sports, with the exception of football. Sports is quite the commitment. As I said the NFL runs a year long business. But its only 17 weeks and if you are lucky your team plays a few games in the playoffs where they win and go home. Its not the 162 game marathon baseball is or the 88 game season in basketabll and hockey. It goes by fast, easy to keep up with. However, something needs to be said about the sports culture. The innocence of sports is gone.

People need to remember at the end, its only a game. The players don't care whether or not you have negative feelings towards them. The media only wants you to buy the stuff they advertise in between innings, downs, time outs, whatever. People need to stop taking it so seriously. Start looking at why you take it so seriously. What are you missing? What will help you feel happier? What will make you feel joy? It may be the thrill of victory, but that's not guaranteed. What is guaranteed is the impression you leave on the people around you, and I would strongly caution many sports fans to take that in stride. When you make hurtful remarks, they cannot be taken back. When you go after players, you forget they are human too because of the pedestals they have been placed on. Many sports fans will say they're just spitting facts. Facts don't care about feelings, people do. So maybe less facts, and more empathy is what is needed in the athletic world. These athletes leave the game not the same, and they are lucky to make the money they have, but they bleed red like all of us.

I asked for kindness on a Dolphins fan page on Facebook one day, and people told me to shut up. That this is a sports page and this is how people talk. Change is the most beautiful thing in the world. It has to start somewhere. I hope there are others who feel like I do and want to see less anger and sarcasm. I was there. i was the worst, Looking back I am ashamed how I behaved during my Sox vs Cubs days. I have been trying to grow and at the end of the day, I can only do what I can do. I can decide what I allow in my environment and maybe if this continues, I may have to reconsider my fondness for football and choose kindness and grace instead.

Sorry I rambled alot this week, but it just was on my mind so I spoke on it. How do you feel?

#breathenbounce #mindfullness #sportsarentforeveryone #nfl #miamidolphins #chicagowhitesox #love #kindness #compassion #athletesarepeopletoo

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randomnameless · 2 years ago

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The aversion to rhea js really strange (read: predictable, as body pillow waifu can’t be contradicted too overtly) but at least disengage’s byleth supports really strengthen everything you say about him: he’s eager to bond with others, acknowledges fighting as a necessary evil but doesn’t actually enjoy it, likes cooking and flowers and tea, loves fishing (dunno why nopes tried to retcon THAT), prefers to be seen as a mentor more than a fighter and really cherishes his students. Crucially, he always mentions the monastery in a positive light (except for the kitchen, he kind of disses its food? No idea why) and it’s clear the school and the church were not only places where he was happy, but institutions he sees as forces of good. As for religion, in his support with pandreo their conversation is about how people turn to faith in times of hardship and they even pray together. With diamant, he says there’s little to gain and much to lose waging war.

As an aside, i’m so sour we didn’t get to see this in houses, after years of me hearing people dunking on corrin and byleth as The Worst Things Ever but they’re both quite sweet and kind and steadfast and the issues in their games are imho less to do with them and more the narrative that forcibly hobbles them in many areas along with some fuckery from koei. Well, at least feh gave us scenes like brave byleth immediately wanting to sit seliph down for tea and talking to him when she hears he’s feeling sad, male byleth perfectly happy to go look for stray cats, and disengage also has byleth showing off the sotc and doing tricks with it solely because amber asked him to; then again, treating sothis’ bones as a funney joak in the game says a lot about their views on the nabateans 🙄

Yep, if only Billy could have acted like that in FE16 -

Rather, if only Billy could have been a character and not an avatar stand-in for the player who could pick X or Y regardless of the story and ultimately participate in the general "Church BaD" song" with the small twist than in certain routes it goes "Church was BaD but Billy'll reform it to be GoOd" that I honestly found baffling.

Engage!Billy, from what you're telling me, is shitting on Jerry then lol

Jerry, as a mercenary, doesn't see fighting as a necessity but as a way to make money, if Barney is any indication mercs love wars because it means more contracts and the final Jerry line in their support where he goes "imagine you as teacher in a school you wouldn't be able to do it right it's so stupid lolilol" -

But Jerry is a Greil knock-off so the game must spread Vaseline on him (remember how two characters' gimmicks involved being mouthpieces to how genial he is for no specific reason?) and Billy might like the Monastery and the role they were given - as a teacher and later, as an Archbishop - but Rhea must be BaD so they can't love it too much and always hand small amounts of "current Church BaD" rather, being a passive character in FE16, never disagree with the wildest takes about the Church thrown around, like Hapi's complains, 85% of what comes from Claude's mouth or the fuckery of the worst S Support in the game.

Ultimately...

Yeah, I have the feeling IS tries to retcon Supreme Leader but by doing so they cement a "character" for Billy, something they couldn't do in FE16 else you wouldn't "weach fow her hwand" - while still erasing every Nabatean mention, or plot related mention, as you pointed out with the SoC but hey, we can't have people start to care about them now!

(which is why I find it fascinating that the anniversary artwork where Rhea bakes cookies exists, that artist didn't get the memo that Rhea BaD and the worst thing to have happened since baked beans and we never portray her in a positive light?)

#2goldensnitches #replies #FE16 #3 nopes #FE17 #sort of #I really don't like avatars in FE #mostly because the world must revolve around them instead of them living in the world #it's like taking the protagonist centered morality/powers to the extreme #I'm mostly talking about shipping and relationship purposes #but it pisses me off how a random who met character X for maybe 10 min #suddenly become their BFF/love interest/sworn bro #eluding all the relationships that character had before #like if FE7 was remade I'm sure Mark could marry Isadora even if you recruit Harken later on #or become Eliwood's best friend even if Hector exists #those kind of things

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lauvra · 3 months ago

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Woke up feeling so off-centre that I wondered about my cycle then searched for answers on astrology.com ... Luna makes her debut into Aquarius, activating the sector of your chart that governs secrecy and solitude. Meanwhile, Mercury retrograde and Uranus form a harsh square that could lead to dramatic miscommunications, further inspiring you to lay low. Standing outside the MCG, my father said the thousands flocking toward the gates looked like Magpies -- neither of us had yet realised the Collingwood team were in fact: the Magpies. I wore a black and white checkered skirt and championed the Melbourne team, but we cheered for both during the match invariably. Collingwood Magpies VS. The Brisbane Lions. Honestly, the latter played more impressively, their passes were more clean and they appeared to utilise an intuition -- a kind of group-think demonstrated with a lot more ease than their opposition who were behind two goals with about five minutes remaining. One had scored a goal and continued to chew his gum (later a friend said he always does that, like a cow, it strikes her as hubris and she hates the player with a passion). My dad pointed out supporters starting to leave, but I remembered an historic moment in American baseball depicted in some rom-com and said I wouldn't give up just yet -- we've seen stranger things. Every so often, the dominant ratio of the home-town crowd would slowly build into a unionised chant: Cooooollingwoooooood, Coooooooollingwooooooooood, COOOOOOOOOOOOOLLINGWOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. I thought how strange, it felt less encouraging than haunting and outright taunting or more accurately, a threat to suggest: you better win, or else. It felt very British, actually, about as Punk and counter-productive as tossing bottles on stage out of love. I even mentioned this to dad and suggested then demonstrated an obvious, tried and true syllabic rhythm instead. A Brissy supporter three rows behind us spent the entire evening screaming profanities at his own team, only cheering with a tense hesitation despite them holding the lead. MAKE THEM PAY - OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES - WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? - FUCKIN' HELL, BILLY! - I'd never heard a name cried with such sincere desperation, I think it's my new favourite name. I couldn't help considering whether this red-faced young man may benefit from my evaluation that he didn't seem to much like his team -- in fact, he didn't seem to enjoy watching this game... at all. I knew better than to say so. I recognise he may be a typical Sports-fan™ who knows how these things go, I just hope he gets laid soon. Seagulls circled and surveyed the stadium. I wondered whether our behaviour struck them as strange but later realised: they don't care / we leave chippies here. I couldn't resist admiring the Lions who most resembled the kinds of guys from high-school who'd intimidate me into kissing their hand or fart on my head during I.T. class. The Melbourne team seemed borderline lethargic, too thoughtful or reliant on luck -- I remarked they didn't have enough hatred in their hearts. Each goal they scored was met with two levels of commercial screens flashing, a tribal drum appraisal, flashing of overhead lights and roars of acclaim. For the first time I understood beyond a spiritual sense what home ground advantage meant. So now we're down to 4 minutes in the final quarter and Collingwood score a goal, but they're still behind. I didn't crave a cigarette the entire time, my dopamine was naturally sky-high and look, I don't know the rules, hailing from the land of Rugby League as a teen I'd watch my boyfriend's training days with a kind of curious detachment, but after tonight, this sports™ stuff... I get it. The intensity, the tension and potential of vindication in it all. With 3 minutes remaining they score another and defeat Brisbane by one fucking point and are crowned the comeback-Kings. The lights, the drums, the roars and team anthem begin Good old Collingwood for ever, etc. etc. Not a bad first ever live football spectator experience. Noottta bad addalll.

#me #word

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dango-daikazoku · 4 months ago

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i hate spending time with my mom, maybe it's just because our personalities are so completely different but i cannot enjoy being around her, she frustrates me so much

but she loves spending time with her kids, it's who she is, and even though i absolutely hate it i have to keep sacrificing my personal time and days off to keep her happy :(

i keep thinking i'm gonna look back and be grateful that i was able to spend time with her because she genuinely is a loving mom but we just... do not mesh well

she tries and gets things for me that she thinks i might like but i don't like a single thing because she doesn't know my interests

i tell her over and over "i don't watch TV" but what does she do every single time she comes over? she puts the TV on and gives me the control and tells me to put on something i want to watch

i didn't buy this TV! i said multiple times "i do not want a TV, i do not want this Roku, i do not want this DVD player, i do not want any of this"

and i don't use it! i do hook up my laptop to the TV to watch my workouts but don't actually watch TV at all, and i haven't since i moved in a couple years ago

at most i use my laptop to watch anime or occasional movies and don't touch the TV at all

she gave me that big bluetooth stereo for my birthday because she said she liked the one my brother had

i already have a hello kitty stereo and a google home and a coca cola can bluetooth speaker, i do not need, never asked for, never wanted a huge loud speaker that doesn't fit anywhere in my apartment

she tries to be attentive but fails so miserably that it irritates me so much!

we don't talk that much because none of our interests align, our sense of humor is completely different, the scary movie i loved she views as a silly comedy, we don't view things the same

when i try to complain about work she gives me "advice" and i so badly just want to cut off her rant and say "yes i'm a full grown adult that has worked for years, i know what could improve but i can't fix understaffing myself, i can't fix lazy coworkers, i can't fix incompetent management, just let me complain! let me voice my frustrations without trying to offer advice as if i could solve anything! just shut up and let me talk, just Listen"

she tries and gets me to be interested in something that i couldn't care less about

"look at these houses you could buy, just have them build it on a property you like!"

dearest mother, what in gods name are you talking about? what property do i own? what do you own? nothing

i'm not going to buy a tiny amish house so i could not live in it until it's finished on a property somewhere out there that i don't own yet

please just use your brain for 5 seconds and realize that i can't afford to spend tens of thousands of dollars and go broke on something that will take months if not years to set up

i want to save now, buy a real house later, i say it every time, i'm not interested, so why

after Years

gotdang YEARS, are you still trying to convince me

i don't know if you're just missing your brain, if you're just you know not thinking at all, or you don't have any foresight or planning skills whatsoever, but it's not going to work!!!

jeeeesssuuuuuussss

let me live my own life please

PLEASE

#begging the higher powers to grant me peace of mind

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