#and now the only irl place where I felt somewhat happy is falling apart bc of in-group-politics
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#sorry for being so afk recently#it probably won't change#i haven't had a calm moment since mid-December and it's starting to gnaw at my brain#and now the only irl place where I felt somewhat happy is falling apart bc of in-group-politics#it's so annoying#can't we just all breathe for a second?#can't everyone stop being passive aggressive assholes to each other for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES?#i don't want to pick sides#i don't want this stupid group to break apart#something has been feeling off since October and last week my friend and I finally put our finger on it#and BOY figuring it out has.not.helped.#meanwhile all I've been doing has been watching old races from the 90s#bc the only thing that makes my brain shut up at the moment is cars going vroom in a circle for 1.5hrs apparently#every irl interaction atm feels like walking on egg shells#and the only thing that's stopping me from crying every time i get home is just keeping myself busy and not thinking abt my life ever#anyway my insurance has blocked me from therapy for the next 3 years so that's great#.....i don't want to come on here and just complain but nothing has been going right recently.#maybe i'll be back to normal eventually but not at the moment#not for a while
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