#and now the motherfucker looks like he’s running for president

[caius-hhhhhh]

“this’ll just be a quick warmup before I work on a more serious drawing,” caius says, lying

[qqueenofhades]

How do we balance the tentative joy of hearing about the indictment with the overwhelming and crushing knowledge that not a goddamn thing is going to come of this and ultimately nothing will change?

Because

um

reasons.

(actually i feel like if the skies split open and shithead goes to jail it'll just leave a giant sucking void for desantis to slime his way into the party's graces and he'll charge full speed ahead into nuking this country from the inside)

Okay, look. Everyone reacts differently, we've all been through a fuckload of trauma, and all that, but I just... really don't get the pre-emptive "don't get your hopes up, nothing will happen and nothing will change." I know that people do it as a defense mechanism, but we spent months hearing that Trump would win the 2020 election. (He lost it.) Then we heard that all his lawsuits to overturn might actually work. (They didn't.) Then we heard that he wouldn't be impeached after January 6. (He was.) Then we heard that he wouldn't be indicted, and well, today, he was. This is unprecedented in the history of America. Over 250+ years, and a current or former president had never been indicted for anything. Not even goddamn Nixon was formally charged, and Biden definitely isn't gonna pardon Trump the same way Ford did with Tricky Dick. And now that someone has finally bit the bullet and gone first, there are a whole cascade of other indictments lined up and waiting to be finished.

We don't know what will happen, but something will. Trump will be arrested and arraigned, and yet again: this has never happened before. Just throwing up our hands and going "well guess nothing's gonna happen and he'll get off scot free!" is NOT the energy we want to be bringing here. It's time to push forward, make sure that the Manhattan DA, and everyone else with pending charges against him, hold that motherfucker's greasy orange feet to the fire and make him FRY. As for DeSantis, as I have written about before, he's not smart, he's not a good candidate, and his ideas are not by any means universally popular. Fascists thrive on making you feel disempowered and hopeless, so it's no use to fight them since they'll just win anyway, and all the terrible events of the last few years have made it an appealing idea, but... c'mon now.

Everyone insisted for months that Trump would never be charged with anything. But almost 60% of the country thinks that the criminal cases against him are permanently disqualifying, and this is before any major cascades. This whole "if you dare to arrest Trump, he'll win in a landslide in 2024!" psy-op is just that: a psy-op. A trick. A bluff. They're shit scared that the Big Mac God King is finally on the brink of an actual downfall and facing consequences for his actions for the first time in his fucking miserable life, and they're trying to freak us out of doing it, because they have nothing left. So I say: get him. Run him over. Then back up the truck and run him over again.

[demontruth]

Prison Time for Trump is needed and this Why...

Y'all, I just did the math (if I did it correctly), I just realized something Trump could get 136 years in prison!! Because each of 34 counts comes with a maximum of 4 years if the Judge decided that Trump should do them separatly boom 134 years! Which fingers crossed. I know that highly unlikely but still the thought makes me so incredibly happy!! However I do think the Judge should give 'No Longer Teflon Don' some prison time.

Here's my thoughts on that. Because no matter the amount of time it's gonna fuck with Trump's head psychologically, as I see it. He's gonna be put in handcuffs taken out of the court room, hopefully. Put on a prison bus, once again hopefully. He's gonna be taken to a prison, maybe it be white collar or please let be federal prison. They're still gonna take all this clothes from him and anything that he has like his expensive ass watch and everything else he has on his person. Then they're going to strip searching him, which I feel extremely bad for whatever prison guard that may end up having do that. Give that man bonus, no joke. That's gonna have to do that. But still just that experience is going to be humiliating and demoralizing which I'm sorry he deserves in my opinion. Maybe but doubtful it will teach him some humility. Then they're going to make him get into whatever color jumpsuit, may it be orange, oh please Jesus let it be orange! Then those he going have to put on those lovely prison shoes. Then they're gonna take his ass to a cell where he's gonna have a celly no doubt. Hopefully its someone that fucking dislike him strongly and not one of his MAGA asshole. And then they're going to close the cell door. That sound alone I would imagine would have a profound effect on him mentally. Because he's the arrogant, a narcissist, egotistical, sociopathic. In that prison he's just like everybody else. He's can't stand up there thinking he's the big man having all his loyal MAGA cult followers screaming and cheeringfor him. That's going to mess with him like nothing else. And put him on a level with what he considers common people is going to mess with him in a way that nothing else ever could. Because he won't get special treatment, the prison guards aren'tgoing to treat him better then the other prisoners shit they might treat him worse if he acts up. Ithink it's so important that it happens to this motherfucker. It's time he brought down to the level he deserves. The level he's been running from forever. Because has anyone seen him now? I have no by choice, just watching the news and of course he's all over the news. He looks so defeated, pathetic, sad, old, beaten, tried, as he would say zero energy. As evil as this may sound and I really don't care... I fucking love it!! Give more of it!!

Now we just HAVE TO DEFEAT him in the Presidential election!! Biden may not be what we want either but it better then a man that's going be hell bent on revenge on everyone that disagrees with him, but on trial, who still want to but him on trial. Remember he still has at least 2 more trials coming and if gets back in the White House he'll do everything in his power to squash them. He'll go after the FBI, the DOJ and every other agency that investigated him. He will literally go on a witch hunt! Don't be mistaken and don't be stupid enough to believe he will not go full Dictator if he gets back into the white house. Trump likes/loves power far too much either far actual prison time with more criminal trials down the road he'll use that power to make sure that don't happen. See the whole I want to President again is just a Red Herring, to distract everyone from his criminal trials and a way to make them go away.

Once again I'm saying something I've been saying since before Trump became President the first time omg I'm tried. But anyway. Trump doesn't give a flying monkey shit about anyone but himself! Not the us the American people, not our Foreign policy, not climate crisis, not gun control, not education... nothing!! The only reason his sides with the Conservatives is because they kiss his ass. I completely understand why us on the left will not. But it does put us in the position of Trump not doing that we need him to do. So as much as I hate this we should pick somebody on the left that would be willing to kiss his ass so hopefully he would start doing what we want him to do. And you have no idea how much that pains me to actually write that!

But we on the left need to start fighting like we did in the last Presidential election! Grass root efforts, hitting the streets, online, fucking everywhere, especially with swing voters! We have get Biden re-elected no matter what because this another election of our life times that will matter in more then just 4 year from now!!

[catbountry]

I think before I go to bed, I should make it clear that my flippancy about the failed assassination attempt on Trump is because this man didn't give enough of a fuck to protect the citizens of the country he fucking ran from a deadly virus that killed hundreds of thousands of people in that country alone.

Like we talk a lot about all presidents being war criminals to come extent but for your average American, it's very hard to put names and faces to the anonymous brown people we hear getting bombed by drone strikes on the other side of the world. Like we know it's bad, but because we don't see these people, it's hard to actually like, internalize that. But with COVID? Your average American knew somebody who died, or almost died, or was in danger or dying. And this motherfucker, pumping his fist in the air after getting grazed by a bullet while a spectator in the crowd died, got to live through getting COVID because he was the President when he got it. He lived when our friends, our family, or neighbors, suffered and died. 100s of 9/11s worth of deaths happened while he was running for re-election. It's now gotten to over a million under Biden, but those early days when the most could have been done to curb the number of deaths, we just were at the mercy of a man who could not give a less of a liquid, fast-food induced shit about the average American. Like I know the government gladly serves capital over us but I've never seen it so mask off in my entire life.

I can't speak for when Reagan was president, mind, I was born halfway through his second term. Not a whole lot of memories of that because I was, you know, a baby.

But like Reagan, Trump did not take the lives of our countrymen seriously enough to even look out for us when we needed it most, and it wasn't even motivated by homophobia; just indifference. He failed us, not that we ever expected that much of him to begin with. The blood of people who we know with faces and names and voices and memories are dead because of him. And even if COVID is "over," he's made it clear that if he gets in, he doesn't fucking care if he does shit that kills more people through simply not caring, or just out of spite.

I'm sorry that I find it hard to try and play at good optics and respectability politics for the sake of not giving republicans ammo (they're gonna find ammo regardless, they always do). This man raped our country, and that word choice is very deliberate. He stumbled in, took what he wanted, broke so many rules, violated every boundary put into place to keep him in check, and like a vengeful ex, sicc'd a pack of his flying monkeys to enact violent revenge on the government elected by the people that dumped his ass. He's a petty little tyrant trying to become a dictator so he can huff deep from the most concentrated narcissistic supply known to a modern leader so far this century, and he has apologists who think he should have raped the country harder.

I am going to continue to live my life as normal as I possibly can, to try and focus on what I can do for myself to be happy and have a sense of stability and to be able to like myself, while also doing what I can to support my friends and loved ones. To remember the dead and remember what it was like to come down with COVID myself and how awful it felt. To try not to lose hope and vote if only just to protect the rights of my friends, my family, and myself, and hope that we can get through this together, whatever the fuck it will even be. I'm kinda scared, and jokes make things a little less scary because at least I know there are other people who are just as frustrated as I am, reacting the same way.

We gotta look for each other. Monke together strong.

Stay safe, guys. You are loved.

[roman-roy-apologist]

okay but like genuinely, what makes succession worth watching because from all i see it's just rich people fucking

noooo it’s actually really fucking good and i’ll explain why

Themes. The main theme of the show is the cycle of abuse. The way abuse, grief, and trauma is portrayed is the most realistic depictions i’ve ever seen. The siblings all react to their trauma in different ways causing them to want to “win” the game that their father has created, the game of Succession. Who will live up to what their father wants them to be? What are they willing to sacrifice for that?

The siblings. There are 3 4 siblings (from oldest to youngest (probably): connor, kendall, roman, shiv. I’m gonna do subsections explaining these characters because they deserve it

Connor Roy. Connor Roy was interested in politics from a very young age. Connor is the oldest, he is the most ignored, looked over and dismissed. He has a different mother than the other 3 siblings. He’ll do anything to get his father’s attention going so far as to run for president so that his dad will notice him.

Kendall Roy. Oh god. Kendall is an addict with an unstable personality, but (at the start of the show at least) he is their dad’s favourite. In the first episode he set to inherit the company ie: “win”. His dad then goes back on his promise, blaming his drug problem (he was currently sober, stable and was in rehab for 2 years prior). This starts him on a multiple season long breakdown culminating in a situation where someone ends up dead because of Kendall and his father uses it as blackmail against him. This causes him to spiral even further completely devoting himself to his father.

Roman Roy. Hey hey motherfuckers. He’s my favourite, definitely the most relatable. He’s arguably the most dependant on their father. He blames his trauma solely on himself, idolize his dad and has serious intimacy issues. He is (as far as we know) the only child who ever faced physical abuse from their dad and he downplays his abuse constantly. He hides his trauma with a typical asshole facade, and uses sex jokes as a deflection from the fact that he can’t have sex with anyone.

Shiv (Siobhan) Roy. Can pinky dance? She’s a very controversial character but let’s be honest it’s mostly the sexism and i love her so much. For a large part of season 2 and 3 she was set to inherit the company, so close to “winning” and she would do anything to please her dad (sensing a theme here?). It’s implied she was the golden child, more babied than the rest, a large part due to her gender and her ideas are often ignored. Now, onto her failmarraige with Tom Wambsgans. She is in a toxic relationship with her husband (?) and co-worker Tom. She is clearly abusive, two-faced and uncaring in their relationship a lot of the time (not to say that Tom isn’t but i’m not gonna get into that rn). She cheats on him, reveals this on their wedding day, and they still get married. Tom clearly has no self-respect for himself, especially in the earlier seasons and directs this diminished sense of self worth in his marriage into his new assistant Greg Hirsch, a distant cousin of the Roy family. Tom and Greg end up having a weird ass psychosexual relationship (it’s never explicitly gay just super implied and boy does this show love implying things) while his and Shiv’s marriage is falling apart.

THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD PLEASE WATCH IT I PROMISE YOW WONT REGRET IT

[mermaidsirennikita]

also now that rwarb was such a successful adaptation, which queer romances would you like to see them tackle next?

Weeeeelll if there were zero budgetary and casting restrictions in place, if I could just wave a magic wand and make great adaptations--

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid--SEEMS like one of the easiest options, comes built in with a sequel, and it's like. Along the same lines as RWARB, while being.... a lot more sexual and a good bit angstier because the stakes are arguably HIGHER (mostly I'm thinking of Ilya being a world-famous Russian athlete who's also like. Bi.). I feel like it's funny and swooningly romantic in a manner similar to RWARB, but it's the next level up in a sense re: maturity. I also think, again, they could actually do this... albeit with a lot of obstacles re: both sexual content and like, casting dudes who could be fake hockey players lol. And one of them has to either be Russian or miraculously do a bang-up Russian accent. Both of these things are challenges.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian--would be SUCH a good mini? A historical romcom with the soft bisexual former highwayman and the flashiest motherfucker who's ever walked into the tavern or whatever like "HELP ME ROB MY DAD... and I will consider letting you look at my ankles". And then he SWORDFIGHTS LMAO? Perfect perfect perfect. then you could have the Marian book as a sequel.

Something Fabulous/Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall--you begin with a mini on the ultimate m/m romcom roadtrip romance, then you transition to the equally funny but also deeply emotionally stirring book about two nonbinary characters falling in love? and one of them is BASICALLY a rockstar?

A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger--the sapphic Interview with the Vampire, incredibly good and wry and dark and funny and ROMANTIC

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall--would be an amazing sweeping four part period drama; I just love the premise so much, with the heroine transitioning by faking her death at Waterloo and her best friend never emotionally getting over it and then meeting her again after her transition and not recognizing her until he realizes she has THE SAME FRECKLES??? JESUS. A full-stop ROMANCE romance.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles--JOSS DOOMSDAY and his gay exploits in the marsh! Blackmailing his old hookup to continue his smuggling operation and then following that old hookup home and going "so like... you down to fuck or....?"

This is completely impossible but I'm gonna pie in the sky and say Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners would make the most demented borderline-impossible explicit TV series ever. Imagine the ongoing antics of a bisexual dominatrix, her ex-boyfriend except actually not except the love of her life who is a Catholic priest that gets sexual pleasure out of inflicting pain, a totally straight man (according to himself) who has nonetheless been in a 20+year off/on thing with a bisexual French guy who runs the kink underworld of New York City or something. And they all fuck together sometimes. Like at Christmas. Complete with a snowball moment! Because Christmas!

New Camelot Trilogy--will never happen, but in my wiiiiiiildest dreeeeeeams this would be like, a 10-episode miniseries (or more??? Like a full outlander-style 13 episode series..... or a three season deal with 8 episodes per season...). It's just one of my favorite romance series of all time, it does such a good job of melting from the simple love triangle to this complex menage a trois of possessive wounded messy people? And somehow two of them are the president and the vice president lmao??? Of course, in the same sense... I'd love a Thornchapel miniseries. Like, you'd get a m/m/f throuple, a f/f couple, and this one bi priest guy they all fuck with at points? But nobody wants me to have the Gothic polyamorous friend group romance I want.

[braveclementine]

Barrel of Monkeys

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.

"What's this? I have winners." Tony walked in with the Iron man suit, holding a ping pong paddle that he'd grabbed from a half-naked girl that had run past him, while also holding a brief case. There were two agents in the room, both with guns and wearing suits and ties. The Mandarin was also in the room, asleep in his chair, a soda can between his two hands.

They shot at him and he blocked the bullets with the paddle before Rhodey came crashing through a window and shot them.

"What have you come as?" The Mandarin asked.

Rhodey got up and pointed the gun at Trevor's face. "You make a move, and I break your face." Rhodey pushed the reclining chair back with his foot.

"I never thought people had been hurt. They lied to me." Trevor said.

"This is the Mandarin?" Rhodey asked incredulously, looking over at Tony.

"Yeah, I know, it's. . . embarrassing."

"Hi, Trevor. Trevor Slattery." Trevor said, holding out a hand that Rhodey did not shake, but rather, slapped out of his face. "I know I'm shorter in person. A bit smaller. Everyone says that. But, um, hey, if you're here to arrest me, there's some people I'd like to roll on."

"Here's how it works, Meryl Streep. You tell him where Y/N is and he'll stop doing it."

"Doing what?" Rhodey put the gun down and it burnt his ear. Trevor cried out in pain, grabbing his ear, "Ow! That hurt! I get it! I get it! I get it! I don't know about any Y/N, but I know about the plan."

"Spill."

"Do you know what they did to my suit?" Rhodey asked.

"What? No. But I do know it's happening off the coast. Something to do with a big boat."

Suddenly, Tony could hear footsteps coming down the hallway. They were stealthily ones and he half listened to the Mandarin and half readied himself to shoot whoever came into the room.

"I can take you there." Suddenly, he screamed, scaring Rhodey who jumped. "Ole, ole, ole, ole."

His stupid motherfucking soccer team had scored.

"Tony, I swear to God, I'm gonna blow his face off." Rhodey growled.

"Oh, and this next bit may include the Vice President as well." the Mandarin continued. "Is that- is that important?"

"Somewhat" Tony said.

"Yeah, a little bit." Rhodey said.

"Definitely." Another voice replied and Rhodey and Tony spun.

"Cap?" Tony asked in annoyance and exasperation. "What are you doing here?"

"Where's Y/N?" Natasha asked.

"Killian has her." Tony replied. "And Everleigh."

"Who are they?" The Mandarin asked, pointing at them. Rhodey glared at him.

"What are you doing here?" Tony asked again.

"Y/N had been keeping in touch with us." Steve explained, lowering his shield and taking his helmet off. "We knew she'd gone missing, we were looking for her."

"Right, well, she's not here. One sec." Tony turned back to the Mandarin. "Hey, Ringo, didn't you say something about a lovely speedboat?"

🎃 :::::  🧡  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  🧡  ::::: 🎃

Tony, Rhodey, Nat, Clint, and Steve were standing under the cover as the speedboat drove. Nat was piloting it.

"If he's right about the location, we're twenty minutes from where Y/N is." Tony said, feeling stressed. He was glad for the extra help, but also not glad for it at the same time.

"But we also have to figure out this vice president thing, right?" Rhodey asked.

"Right." Tony said, "I wonder who I'm calling right now. Oh! That's the Vice President."

Steve rolled his eyes but Clint laughed.

"Hello?" The voice was on speaker so everyone could hear.

"Sir, this is Tony Stark."

"Welcome back to the land of the living."

"We believe you're about to be drawn into the Mandarin campaign. We gotta get you somewhere safe as soon as possible."

"Mr. Stark, I'm about to eat honey-roast ham, surrounded by the Agency's finest. The presidents safe on Air Force One with Colonel Rhodes. I think we're good, here."

"Sir, this is Colonel Rhodes." Rhodey spoke up now. "They're using the Iron Patriot as a Trojan horse. They're gonna take out the President somehow. We have to immediately alert that plane."

"Okay, I'm on it. I'll have security lock it down. If need be, we can have F-22s in the air in 30 seconds. Thank you, Colonel."

"Rhodes and Stark out." Rhodey said.

Once they had hung up, that was when the real conversation began. "We can either save the president, or Y/N. We can't do both." Rhodey said.

"Sir, I have an update from Malibu." Jarvis said before anyone else could speak. "The cranes have finally arrived and the cellar doors are being cleared as we speak."

"And what about the suit I'm wearing?" Tony asked.

"The armor is now at 92%."

"That's gonna have to do." He grunted, pulling out the battery wires he'd been using to charge his suit. And then he flew up into the air. He zoomed after the jet. Maybe, with him going after the President, perhaps the others would go and save Y/N. He'd deal with this one on his own.

He could see hot boy walking through the plane and fired a shot at him through the window, before coming up behind him. He tackled him into the wall and he heard him grunt. He lifted his hand to the man's face. "The President. Now!"

"He's not here." The man hissed, grabbing the arm, causing the suit to malfunction from the heat. Tony hissed himself in pain. "Try the jet stream? Speaking of which," He saw the red button as he lifted it. "Go fish." He heard the explosion.

Tony went to hit him over the head, but now both of his arms were in the hot grip of Savin. He finally wrenched his arms away and then blasted him through the chest with his chest blaster. "Walk away from that you son of a bitch."

"How many in the air?" He shouted at Jarvis as he flew through the hole.

"Thirteen sir." Jarvis said.

"How many can I carry?"

"Four, sir."

Tony zoomed as fast as he could go, catching one of the women first. She was screaming hysterically, not that he could blame her. "Slow down. Slow down, relax. What's your name? Heather?"

The plane exploded above him and she stopped screaming incessantly and started screaming words. "Oh God! No! No!"

"Listen to me. See that guy?" He pointed at one that was falling past him. "I'm gonna swing by him. You're just gonna grab him. You got it?"

"What? Oh!"

"I'll electrify your arm. You won't be able to open your hand." He informed her. "We can do this Heather." He was proud that she already had one arm out to the side, her hand open, ready to grab.

There was a bit of a struggle, but finally she managed to grab him. "Easy, see? Eleven more to go."

They were all still screaming around him. "Remember that game called barrel of monkeys? That's what we're going to do."

"Eighteen thousand feet." Jarvis informed him.

"Come on, people. Grab your monkey."

He watched as two more men were added to the chain. "Nice." Arms wrapped around him from behind.

"Ten thousand feet."

Two more.

"Six thousand feet."

"Come on, people." There was a difficulty on the end farthest from him. "Come on, come on, come on!" Two more people added. "YEAH!"

"One thousand feet. Four hundred feet. Two hundred feet, sir."

"He's a chunky monkey, let's get him. Hello." He said as the one on the end grabbed him. Tony boosted upwards as best as he could and they rose up once more, the ones on the bottom of the weird pyramid, their feet brushing the water.

And then Tony slowed down, letting all of them fall into the water. He turned around and saw that they had all surfaced, and were cheering him on.

"Nice work guys." He said, pleased with himself, and with them. "Excellent. Good team effort all around. Go us. All right Jarvis. But it's only half-done. We've still got to get Y/N-" He turned and flew straight into a truck, the armor scattering everywhere.

He winced and then opened his eyes. "That came out of nowhere." He sighed with relief and then winced again when sunlight streamed into the cabin space that he'd been controlling the suit remotely from.

"Give me some good news man." Rhodey said from behind him.

"I think they all made it."

"Oh thank God." Rhodey said.

"Yeah, but I missed the President."

"You couldn't save the President with the suit, how are we going to save Y/N with nothing?" Rhodey asked, walking away.

"Uh- say Jarvis, is it that time?"

"The House Party Protocol sir?"

"Correct."

He thought about the space that he had hidden under the house. The circular platform that even Y/N didn't know about because he didn't want her to worry. Didn't want want her to see how many suits he had made because he couldn't sleep. All the suits that he made when he could have been sleeping next to her.

He was angry with himself for not spending those nights with her. He had wasted so much time and now she could die.

He had to do better.

He would.

He had to.

🎃 :::::  🧡  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  🧡  ::::: 🎃

You came to with a start, feeling a warmth coursing through your veins. At least it wasn't the burning hot pain that had caused you to pass out. It had felt as though your insides were melting with the most painful of fire.

"Hi." Killian said as you jerked, seeing him.

You breathed in deeply, your lungs feeling weird, as you surveyed the place around you. It was a workshop of some kind, with metal scaffolding and forklifts.

"You think he's gonna help you?" You asked with a scoff, shaking your head. "He won't."

Killian stepped forward, placing a hand on the metal that kept you locked in place. You couldn't move.

"Having you here is not just to motivate Tony Stark. It's, um- Well, it's actually more embarrassing than that." He gave a little laugh. "You're here as my um-"

"Trophy." You snarled.

He laughed again and then hummed in agreement.

You looked away before you heard metal footsteps and looked up in hope. At first, that hope flickered when you saw it was not Tony, but it still bubbled there because it was Rhodey and you knew that Rhodey would help you.

"Good evening sir."

And then the suit opened and the President of the United States dropped to his knees out of the container. You felt horror wash over you and the sense of helplessness was there as well. If only you could help the President.

Your hands pressed against the bonds, wishing you could lift your shoulders so you could free them.

Yes, you didn't trust the Government as a whole. But there were still good, individual people in there. And you believed that this President was one of them. He had done things on live television to try and keep the Mandarin from killing people. He didn't listen when his advisors told him not to.

"Welcome aboard, Mr. President." Killian grinned.

He led the President away and you were alone again. You banged your head back against the metal and hoped that something would happen soon.

🎃 :::::  🧡  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  🧡  ::::: 🎃

Tony followed Rhodey as they sneaked along the dark side of the boat. Steve followed behind him. Nat and Clint had gone their own own way, probably to find high ground for Clint.

The three of them made their way up a ladder and then darted through the dark. They had to stay in stealth mode because Rhodey had one gun, Tony had one gun, and Steve had a shield. That was it and no protection for the first two.

"You're not gonna freak out on me, right?" Rhodey hissed to Tony.

"I hope not." Tony replied and Steve shot him a look.

They made their way closer to the blue structure where cameras were being pointed and lights were being shown.

In the middle of the scene on the ground was a lit up Christmas tree with a star on top. Hung above that in the Iron Patriot suit was the President.

"Oh my God." Rhodey whispered and then came back to tell the two of them, "He's strung up over the oil tanker. They're gonna light him up, man."

"You two go to him." Steve said. "I'll get Y/N and Everleigh."

It did not sit well with Tony that the glorious Steve Rogers that Howard Stark loved and adored more than his own son was going to save his wife and daughter.

"Viking funeral. Public execution." Tony muttered to Rhodey, ignoring Steve.

"Yeah, death by oil." Rhodey said, giving Steve the 'wait a minute' look.

The three of them darted across the opening, heading for the stairs and started to head up them.

"Broadcast to commence shortly. Take final positions."

"Is your gun up?" Rhodey asked as they neared the top of the stairs.

Tony immediately lifted his gun. "Yep. What do I do?"

Steve sighed and made a quick motion like he was going to take the gun, then thought better of it.

"Stay on my six, cover high, and don't shoot me or Cap in the back." Rhodey said.

"Six, high, back. All right." Tony rattled off, nervous. He'd never shot a gun in his life before today. And he really did not have good aim.

"Clint has high ground already." Steve muttered to them. "On your eight."

Tony looked up randomly, but could see the bird blending in with the night, his arrows already slotted in his bow.

"Nat's looking for Y/N." Steve muttered.

The shooting happened almost immediately. Tony shot, but he wasn't sure he hit more than glass. Steve's shield flew out, slicing the man's head off before coming back to Steve. The Captain looked a little sick. "I didn't mean to throw so hard."

"Don't get soft now." Tony shouted as he ducked from more gunshots, following Rhodey. "See that, nailed it."

"Yeah, you really killed the glass." Rhodey replied sarcastically. Tony heard a somewhat familiar whistling sound and saw someone fall from Clint's arrow.

"You think I was aiming for the bulb?" Tony asked. "You can't hit a bulb at this distance."

Rhodey immediately got up, fired once, and all of the glass shattered out of the light.

"All personnel, we have hostiles on east unit 12."

"Over there!"

"They're coming!" Steve shouted, the shield flying in the air again.

"That's what she said." Tony muttered and Rhodey snickered.

"I'm out." Tony said, checking his gun. "Give me- You got extra magazines?"

"They're not universal, Tony." Rhodey sighed in exasperation.

"I know what I'm doing. I make this stuff. Give me another one." Tony demanded. "One of yours."

"I don't got one that fits that gun."

"Are you two going to argue all day?" Steve shouted, kicking another bad guy in the chest.

"You have like five of them! Okay, here's what I'm gonna do. Save my spot, ready?" He hopped up.

"What'd you see?"

"To fast, nothing."

"Stark!" Steve grunted, leaping over the box to land in front of the two of them. "What are you doing?"

"Out of ammo." Tony snapped, pissed at the stupid soldier. Tony stood up and looked over and then called out to Rhodey, "Three guys. One girl. All armed."

The three of them stood and Tony could see that they were all glowing under the skin. None of them had done that up till this point and Steve looked at Tony. "They're glowing."

"It's fire." Tony shot back.

"God, I would kill for some armor right now." Rhodey hissed.

"You're right. We need backup."

"Yeah, a bunch."

"You know what?" Tony asked, watching more of them come.

Rhodey squinted into the distance and Steve shielded his eyes with his hand.

"Is that-?"

"Yep." Tony replied, pleased with himself.

"Barton?" Steve asked in his coms and Tony wished he could hear.

"Are those-"

"Yeah."

"Merry Christmas buddy." Tony said, patting Rhodey on the shoulder as all of the Iron Man suits- nearly fifty of them- settled into the air around the place.

"Jarvis, target EXTREMIS heat signatures. Disable with extreme prejudice."

"Yes, sir." They all responded.

"That's creepy." Steve muttered.

"What are you waiting for? It's Christmas." He made random hand motions and then threw his hands up into the air dramatically. "Take them to church."

Steve made an offended sound in the back of his throat. He'd forgotten spangles was a Christian. Oh well, he could get over it.

"Incoming!" Tony shouted as one of the parts of the Iron Man suit came flying towards them. It exploded below them. "Jarvis, get Igor to steady this thing." Tony demanded.

Steve put his shield on his back, picking up Tony's empty gun and loading it with ammo, sliding it into his own holster. Tony decided to let him keep it as a Christmas present.

"This is how you've been managing your down time, huh?" Rhodey asked him as they crouched.

"Everybody needs a hobby." Tony explained. He looked around, watching the drones take out everyone that had the heat signatures they were targeting. Clint was still above, knocking people out with arrows through their necks, one by one.

"Heartbreak, help red snapper out, will you?" Tony commanded.

"Did you name all of them?" Steve asked, flinging his shield to knock one of the fiery bastards off of one of the suits.

"Duh, they're my children." Tony responded before ducking as there was a huge fiery explosion from one of his suits crashing into something.

"Nice timing." Tony said as one of the suits landed in front of him and opened up. He stepped inside and it closed around him.

"Oh, yeah. That's awesome. Give me a suit, okay?" Rhodey asked, sticking his arms out like Tony had. Steve rolled his eyes, grabbing his shield and then touched his com.

"Oh, I'm sorry. They're only coded to me." Tony replied.

"What does that mean?"

"I've got you covered." Tony said, blasting off and telling Jarvis to go and pick Rhodey up.

He saw Steve running towards one of the burning buildings and Clint was climbing down from where he had been before.

"Sir, I've located Mrs. Stark."

"About time." Tony said harshly.

Tony headed to where Jarvis was telling him that she was located and found her lying under a pile of debris. He was almost certain that Y/N was unconscious. He picked up a piece of scrap to move it and she jolted as things started to fall.

"Stop! Put it down. Put it down. Put it down." Y/N said quickly, eyes round with fear.

Tony knelt down and let the face plate pop open, "See what happens when you hang out with my ex-girlfriends?"

Y/N managed him a small smile and then said, "You're such a jerk."

"Yep. We'll talk about it over dinner." He said, extending a hand for her to take. She reached for him, struggling. "Come on, a little more baby."

Y/N grunted and their fingers touched before Tony gasped as a melted hand shot out of the floor and burned and entire hole through his chest.

Tony fell backwards.

"Is this guy bothering you?" Killian's voice asked. "Don't get up." He said, appearing over Tony. He pressed a glowing finger to Tony's chest. "Ooh, is it hot in there? Stuck? Do you feel a little stuck? Like a little turtle, cooking in his little turtle suit."

"Tony." Y/N gasped.

"She's watching." Killian hissed. "I think you should close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes, you don't want to see this."

He raised his hand, probably to stab Tony in the face or something, but Tony never gave him a chance. As Killian's arm swung down, Tony released a blade, letting Killian cut his own arm off, which flopped away.

At the same time that Killian started to gasp in pain, Natasha was suddenly leaping down, flipping him over her shoulder so that he hit his head against the metal. Suddenly, Y/N uttered a little scream and there was the sound of metal crashing.

"I found Everleigh!" Natasha shouted over at him. Her face was streaked with grime and soot from the flames. "She's with Clint now."

Tony nodded his thanks, getting out of his suit. He could hear stuff moving and could hear Y/N shouting for him. He watched as she got pulled one way because something had hit a cable wire. He immediately started to run with it. "Nat, get back to Rhodey and Steve. I've got Y/N."

He ran, knowing that there was a guy behind him, and leaped from one yellow stairwell to another. A flying suit hit the guy following so that he never made the jump.

He could see Y/N holding on tightly to the junk that she was laying upon, watching him with fearful eyes. Tony started sprinting along the runway, seeing the endpoint. "Jarvis, give me a suit right now!"

One suit got blasted out of the sky. Another appeared in front of him, but the moment he attempted to get into it, it was flung out of the way and smashed against a metal pole. He tucked and rolled out of the missed attempt and muttered, "Come on!"

Tony heard another explosion, and looked over just in time to see Rhodey hanging above the explosion, his hands wrapped around one of the cables that held the President up.

He didn't have time to see if they made it to safety.

He leapt out into the air and landed harshly on a support beam.

"President is secure Tony. I'm gonna start securing the area. Clint and Everleigh are with him."

"Nice work." Tony said.

He climbed up onto the hold where Y/N dangled above him. There was still space and he braced himself to the best of his ability and reached out. "Y/N I got you. Relax I got you."

She nodded, but didn't let go, her fingers white around the grip of the pole. She was hanging upside down, staring at him with wide eyes. She was terrified, but holding it together.

"Honey, I can't reach any further and you can't stay there." He said. "You've gotta let go."

He saw the determination in her eyes and she didn't hesitate, letting go of the pole. He saw her eyes relax, knowing that he would catch her. She was falling perfectly, and then the entire thing lurched. Her eyes widened again.

"NO!" He shouted, and he reached out. She twisted in midair, missing his hands, but grabbing the beam below him.

She hung above the firey mess below her. He bent down to help her, grabbing her wrist, but the maneuver was to strange and he couldn't pull her up any farther. Killian suddenly walked up, heading towards him.

"Fight him Tony." Y/N gasped. "I can help myself."

Her fingers were slipping, he could see that. But he also knew that she was right.

And then, just as he stood to meet Killian, Killian threw something at her. She let go on instinct and her eyes widened.

He felt his soul leave his body and watched as Y/N was consumed by the flames.

[magicalgirlagency]

How do you feel about Sonic Real Time Fandubs?

They're absolutely asinine (affectionate). And Lythero's lives and Tio Gordo's Crash Bandicoot videos are on the same level, too.

Here are some of my favorite quotes/dialogues (the list's rather long, so stay for a li'l while):

[SILVER]: "Y'know, maybe things aren't so bad! I'm here, with a nice ocean breeze, alone with my thoughts..."

[...]

[BLAZE]: "Hey, Silver!"

[SILVER]: "GODDAMNIT--"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "In the future, looks like you'll kiss seven girls! How lucky for you!"

[SHADOW]: "JOKES ON YOU! If you were a true copy of me, you'd know that I'm GAY!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Shadow, you're an asshole, man."

[SHADOW]: "You are what you eat, Sonic!"

⭐

[STORM]: I can't see the end of the horizon-- HATSUNE MIKU?!?!? IS THAT YOU?!?!?!"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "You silly feeble-minded little gay... I am so far beyond Fortnite!"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "I am going to kill you... and then, kill you again."

⭐

[AMY]: "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! I DID NOT GO TO FOUR YEARS OF MASTERS' SCHOOL TO GET TO BE CALLED A DUSTY BITCH!!"

[SONIC]: "Okay, what did you go for, though? 'Cause I can't tell."

⭐

[CHARMY]: "Yippieee! I can die happy tomorrow!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Hahaha, ONE!"

⭐

[AMY]: "You... MOTHERFUCKER!! You just left me to DIE!!"

[SONIC]: "Top 30 Reasons Why Sonic Is Sorry (No. 5 Will Surprise You!)"

[AMY]: "Top 30 Anime Deaths! No. 1: YOUR ASS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!"

⭐

[JET]: "I love stealin' shit! Great day!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Woah, he's bisexual! I didn't know that!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "Also, I'm bisexual, by the way--"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "The CAUCACITY of this bitch..."

⭐

[SHADOW]: "Well, you know what they say: If you kill someone, you get ALL of their Sin Points!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "Well, DUH, you idiot! That's what I've just said!"

[SHADOW]: "Yes, I'm gonna kill YOU!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "You fu-- What. Wait a minute, I don't-- I don't wanna die yet, wai--"

⭐

*Downloading: Weed.exe...*

[E-123 OMEGA]: "HOOOOLLLLYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "You forgot the number one sin, Devil: Thou shall not have any gods before ME!"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "So... King of Hell... President... I have all of this power at my fingertips..."

[...]

[BLACK DOOM]: "Heeeeeeeyyyy, whazzzuuuuuuppp? It's meeeeeeeeeee~!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Hey, wanna join? You guys wanna start a polyamorous marriage?"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Okay, how fast do you wanna run? Too fast? Three fast? Twelve fast?"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!!!"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "Welcome to my house. As you can see, I've knocked so many chairs over because I'm getting so TiLtEd At ThE tOwErS!"

⭐

[BLACK DOOM]: "It's real cute you're gonna defeat me with the PoWeR oF fRiEnDsHiP an' all, but again, I am The Devil, from, The Bible!"

⭐

[STORM]: "Ugh... I just remembered a traumatizing from my past; hang on, I have to stim and I'll feel better..."

⭐

[JET]: "I hear womanly emotions..."

[WAVE]: I'm NOT a girl, you idiot! I am a SWALLOW! Jesus! It's not that hard!"

⭐

[ELISE]: "It has been like, a week... I've lost track of time... I'm not sure if I'm a person..."

[AMY]: Hmmm, you won't be, in juuuuust a second!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "I'm gonna kill all of you!"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "Diamonds aren't green, dicknips."

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "You have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes, you Hot Topic-wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch! You have done nothing but destroy my life; I hope you both DIE."

⭐

[MARIA]: "I'm dying... because I'm so surprised..."

⭐

[BLACK DOOM]: "Errm, Bing-Bong! Uhh hey, what's up! You're doin' a bad job!"

[tahitiwoke]

032.   a quiet hospital room  👀

ACN: THIS IS BREAKING NEWS COMING OUT OF DALLAS, TEXAS WHERE MULTIPLE SOURCES ARE REPORTING THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES HAS BEEN SHOT. WE GO LIVE TO OUR MAN ON THE GROUND, STEVE, WHAT CAN YOU TELL US?

he had been in a meeting. the mounted television on the wall had been running a ticker tape of some twitter stream about a plane crash in the indian ocean; the meeting had been boring, something that really could have been an email, with a congressman who wanted face time with the president and when she couldn't get that, settled for face time with veep and when she couldn't get that? well. here's phil. doing the work of his deputy and -- the tv had caught his attention.

ACN: IT'S CHAOS HERE RIGHT NOW, ELLIOT, THE PRESIDENT WAS ABOUT TO GIVE A SPEECH ON THE NEW GUN CONTROL MEASURES AND A SHOOTER CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. NO INFORMATION HAS BEEN GIVEN AS OF YET, THE SECRET SERVICE ARE UNCLEAR IF IT WAS A SNIPER OR SOMEONE IN THE CROWD.

it takes eleven days for him to make it to dallas. the schedule is incredibly tight; there is so much to do and say about the twenty-fifth, there's a lot that needs to be parsed out, a lot that needs to be changed over. to his credit, carroll march does a stellar job at pretending like he is in any way equipped to be the president of the united states and provides as stable look to the resolute desk; don't get comfortable, motherfucker. the news is in frenzy, trading on the stock exchange is suspended for two days until claire wakes up, and phil doesn't text or call. at least, not claire. he calls chris.

their first conversation is very short and the ones following over the next ten days are shorter; it's updates, work, professional. phil cannot tell if this is something he prefers or not but he'd like to think over the course of the little while they've known one another, they have built some sort of rapport. maybe. or maybe not.

phil pointedly asks how is the president not claire. if he thinks too hard about her in personal terms, he'll go insane, he'll drive to fucking texas if he has to, and he can't afford that sort of weakness. he's got to be the good man in the storm right now and he'd rather get shot in the face than let her down.

so it takes eleven days.

( you ever leave this place? march asks one night. it's the fifth consecutive evening phil has slept on his couch. he showers in the white house locker room; his suit is wrinkled, his shirt is one he borrowed from the back of a door in chris's currently vacated office, too small in the cuffs and the shoulders. go home, pal. sleep in a bed. we'll still be here tomorrow. )

the nurse argues with him for fifteen minutes, threatens him with security after another five when he tells her to just fucking google me! the yelling attracts the attention of the secret service; of meechum, of scott. phil is only a little smug when they let him through. gets less smug when he sees the state of chris. they stand out in the hallway, both unwilling to make the first move inside where they know she's asleep.

ACN: PRESS SECRETARY CHRIS BRADY SPOKE TO REPORTERS EARLIER TODAY WEARING THE PRESIDENT'S BLOOD - DOCTORS ARE CURRENTLY OPERATING AND EARLY REPORTS SUGGEST PRESIDENT HALE IS EXPECTED TO MAKE A FULL RECOVERY. FROM ALL OF US AT ACN, MA'AM, GODSPEED.

chris looks worn to the bone. hunched and empty and small when the man has never been small, not for as long as phil has known him; he looked stretched thin. have you slept at all? he asks and chris just shrugs, the answer obvious. have you eaten? another noncommittal movement. i can stay here for a while if you want to go and sort yourself out. you should really get a shower and try to calm down a little. it's advice a million and one people have given him in the past, when emotions are high and every action feels like a reaction to something else, when running on autopilot is starting to falter.

after the longest time, chris does eventually nod and shake phil's hand and isn't there when phil emerges a few hours later.

[ramrodd]

Christians DESTROYED my Hypothesis! (Capturing Christianity response)

COMMENTARY:

I know what it is I dislike about Paul Ens is he reminds me of a law professor at Indiana University when I got back from Vietnam and was trying to fashion a Plab B, Plan A being a military career. I knew this guy from before going to Vietnam, He was a major Stud Muffin in the on-campus anti-war movement and he and I had several classes together, one english seminar on Robert Frost and another on American Military History, I was in ROTC and one of the clsases I had Leadership Lab before or after and I cam to class in Class As. It was never an issue and we were cordial enough, but he wne his way and I went mine, My senior year, he was elected Student Body President in a complete upheaval of Campus Society, with the Liberals replacing the Greeks and Jocks at the top of the pile. That happened on all the campuses all over America after the SDS occupied Columbia University, It didn't effect me, directly. I'm an Army brat and I had spent most of my high shcool avoiding the civilian culture however I could. I am an Eisenhower Republican and about as aplitical as Jack Germond was. Anyway, I didn't see this guy after the first semester and then I graduated and went in the Army and got to Vietnam just after Kent State and come back to the world the summer John Denver's cover of Country Roads was in the morning mix. And Maggie May, But, when I go back, I needed a Plan B so my dad and I visited Georetown, UVA and IU law schools to try and wiggle in, I had taken the LSAT in Vietnam and it had been a disaster, but things were looser back then and, if money hadn't been an obstacle, I propably could have been acceted anywhere, It was more of a trup for Dad and I to spend time together. We never once discussed Vietnam but about the Civil War to just enjoy each others company, Anyway, we got to IU and I was inclined to the school, anyway, and we got into an interview with this guy, who was now on the Law School Faculty and I wanted nothing more to do with those smug, self-righeous anti-war ideological goons, Like leaving the Army, it happened in a blink of an eye. I had been on campus when the Hippies became Yippies and tried to burn the library down and when I dot to Vietnam, the Black Power movment and the Weather Undergound had got there before me and when I  got home, I was sitting across the desk talking about law school with a clone of Paul Ens across from me and Paulogia is just another Students for a Democratic Society teach-in like Jimmy Tabor,  It's just more Post Modern Historic Deconstruction where Paul can run off a cliff and doesnt fall until he looks down. Beep, beep, motherfucker, The only difference between you and Stokely Carmichael is natural rithymn. Canadians don't have any.

[josiebelladonna]

i keep picturing myself on the run. clothes on my back, courier bag over my shoulder filled with my art supplies, books, journals, and writing stuff, running from a trump dictatorship and hiding out in places off the grid.

motherfucker took the house from my mom and me because we’re both women and we’re not allowed to own property. we got in our car and began driving. we got to bishop/the base of the sherwin grade and saw that even the middle of nowhere isn’t safe. hell, we get to reno and saw that it’s not safe. but we press onward.

my mom has the strength to get us to my dad and stepmother’s house but it’s dicey as fuck because we’re women and we’re not allowed to drive, and the cost of eliquis is double that what it is now ($600 on goodrx, how is anyone okay with this), but she holds on for much longer. but i can’t stay here because of my support for the jewish diaspora. i can’t stay here because i’m a woman of mixed race living in the former land of the free.

i have no star of david plastered on me but i’m marked.

my parents and i put our heads together and we can figure it out together. we have enough money to get me up to british columbia and it’s five hundred miles away. but i can do it. i’ve taken plenty of train rides by myself, i can escape to a new country by myself.

because the dictatorship has stuck its filthy claws into their government and it looks like i’m going there for a medical reason, i disguise myself as a man à la portia from the merchant of venice and i live on a boat docked outside of victoria. i lay low and begin self-publishing until my parents can come up there to be with me.

i make copies that are slightly different and encoded with the quileute language. i bury the originals in a box somewhere in british columbia and i sink the boat and take the money and run off to a different country as far away from north america as i can get: as much as i love canada, the government is being puppeteered by donald trump. i don’t trust them.

i resurface in the new place out in the backwoods and tell my parents. it’s call collect from a burner phone so i can’t stay on for long, and i expect my dad to call once they get there. i get two calls, one from him and one from alex. everyone he knows locally is dead, he can’t get a hold of his brother because he’s an expat in china and alex is on a restricted list, or chuck and eric because they’re on shitlists too given they’re both hispanic (and native american in chuck’s case), and he’s scared out of his wits. he never explains how he got my number but he’s trying to find me so he can hide, and i vowed to hide anyone who’s jewish, too. i tell him to go to mexico because canada has been zombified by the united states—besides, mexico’s president is a jewish woman. he calls me again within a couple of hours and i tell him where i’m at. he only has just enough money left to get there.

once he gets there, i introduce him to my parents.

we take what money we have on us and, because alex and i considered refugees given he lost his condo and my boat is at the bottom of the strait of georgia, we’re protected by the government, and i introduce the idea of babka babe all the while because all the local jews got the hell out of dodge to israel but they admit they’re missing that culture: somehow, the country came around and realized the error of their ways. alex also confesses to me that he’s been wanting to be closer to me all this time, and yet there was a dark specter hanging over his head that kept him from doing so. i tell him i get it, and that i knew it was going to be one of those things, it was going to be a long story, i was in no rush. and we start a new chapter of life while figuring out how to get chuck and eric out of there.

[taco-bee]

Vent/rant/idk it's not that bad

I've realized a small problem in my upbringing that has led to the absolute looking down on others and forcing myself to be in a leaders role which now I have to actively try not to do because holy fuck that's some dick shit don't do that

Because I was raised to think everyone was dumb and I am the future fuckin president. Cuz my dad trama dumped on me.

The "everyone is stupid" and "you/we are the smartest" is shit HE REALLY SAID

So if you talk to some people I knew from elementary to the middle school (got better by end of 8th) I was a FUCKING DICK.

Like looking back I would slap myself in the face cuz bitch shut your mouth please your making shit worse and you can't fight your just good at taking damage and crying motherfucker OTHER PEOPLE ARE STRONG AND YOU ARE NOT FUCKING INTIMADATING YOU ARE A SMALL POODLE BARKING AT A ATTACK DOG STOP

YOU THINK YOU HAVE ATVANAGE ROLLS BUT YA DONT. YOU HAVE DISADVANTAGE, BACK OUT SLOWLY, I MEANT THE COVERSATION, DONT RUN- NO DONT RUN AWAY THAT MAKES IT WORSE! FUCK.

[nsfwhiphop]

Eminem – Who Knew - Lyrics - Karaoke night

"Who Knew"

(I never knew I, knew I, knew I'd) (I never knew I, knew I, knew I'd) Mic check, one-two (I never knew I, knew I, knew I'd) Who would've knew? (I never knew I, knew I, knew I'd) Who would've known? (I never knew I, knew I, knew I'd) Fuck would've thought? (I never knew I, knew I, knew I'd) Motherfucker comes out (I never knew I, knew I, knew I'd) Sells a couple of million records (I never knew I, knew I, knew I'd) And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling (I never knew I'd) I don't do black music, I don't do white music (No) I make fight music for high school kids I put lives at risk when I drive like this I put wives at risk with a knife like this Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now I'm in the back seat of your truck with duct tape stretched out Ducked the fuck way down, waitin' to straight jump out Put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face — what now? Oh, you want me to watch my mouth How? Take my fuckin' eyeballs out and turn them around?

Look, I'll burn your fuckin' house down, circle around And hit the hydrant, so you can't put your burnin' furniture out I'm sorry, there must be a mix-up You want me to fix up lyrics While our President gets his dick sucked? Fuck that! Take drugs, rape sluts Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor Quit tryin' to censor music This is for your kid's amusement (the kids!) But don't blame me when little Eric jumps off of the terrace You shoulda been watchin' him, apparently you ain't parents 'Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid I never knew I'd get him to slit his wrist I never knew I'd get him to hit this bitch I never knew I, knew I would get this big I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid I never knew I'd get him to slit his wrist I never knew I'd get him to hit this bitch So who's bringin' the guns in this country? (Hm?) I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun Through customs over in London And last week I seen this Schwarzenegger movie Where he's shootin' all sorts of these motherfuckers with an Uzi I see these three little kids up in the front row Screaming, "Go!" with their seventeen-year-old uncle I'm like, guidance?! Ain't they got the same moms and dads Who got mad when I asked if they liked violence? And told me that my tape taught 'em to swear? What about the make-up You allow your twelve-year-old daughter to wear? (Hm?)

So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words When his bus driver's screamin' at him, fuckin' him up worse (Go sit the fuck down, you little fucking prick!) And "fuck" was the first word I ever learned Up in the third grade, flippin' the gym teacher the bird (Look!) So read up 'bout how I used to get beat up Peed on, be on free lunch And changed school every three months My life's like kind of what my wife's like (What?) Fucked up after I beat her fuckin' ass every night: Ike So how much easier would life be If nineteen million motherfuckers grew to be just like me? 'Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid I never knew I'd get him to slit his wrist I never knew I'd get him to hit this bitch I never knew I, knew I would get this big I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid I never knew I'd get him to slit his wrist I never knew I'd get him to hit this bitch I never knew I, knew I'd have a new house or a new car A couple years ago I was more poorer than you are I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I? Fuck! Shit! Ass! Bitch! Cunt! Shooby-de-doo-wop! (Oops) Skibbedy-be-bop, a Christopher Reeves Sonny Bono, skis, horses and hittin' some trees (Hey) How many retards'll listen to me And run up in the school shootin' when they're pissed at a tea- -cher? Her? Him? Is it you? Is it them? "Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!" Damn, how much damage can you do with a pen? Man, I'm just as fucked up as you would've been If you would've been in my shoes, who would've thought Slim Shady would be somethin' that you would've bought? That would've made you get a gun and shoot at a cop I just said it, I ain't know if you'd do it or not 'Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid I never knew I'd get him to slit his wrist I never knew I'd get him to hit this bitch I never knew I, knew I would get this big I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid I never knew I'd get him to slit his wrist I never knew I'd get him to hit this bitch How the fuck was I supposed to know?

[chaoticcosmos666]

Holy Fuck

TW- NAZIS (so yea... you know theres gonna be hatred and violence)

everyday i feel like i cant be more shocked but here i am... sitting in pure anger and rage, with no outlet to even put it out on. so here we go in writing. it is the year of our lord 2023... almost 2024. im gonna be 24 soon. and the one thing that childhood me never thought id see ever as a small lil history nerd? nazis. i never thought id see them ever. but they rebranded themselves as some bullshit that i wont list here out of sanity for myself and others. you can though read some in the article im linking here

so.... what is it that boils my blood? the fact that in motherfucking america we have asshats like these marching around when we had grandfathers and great grandfathers who fought this same ideology. im not the first to be like "oh trump this... trump that" but look closely at everything since 2016. like very closely. ill critique the previous presidents happily but right now isnt the time for that. we can go on about how obama caged kids first and how he drone striked innocents... but right now im focused on this. a president who has said there are "very fine people on both sides" after Charlottesville "Unite the Right Rally" and during the debate for the presidency recently when asked about these groups for the proud boys to "stand back and stand by".... that isnt really condemnation is it? In the wake of all this, the aftermath of chuds running up in the capitol, and now the rise of christofascism... how long is it gonna take??? when are people gonna stand up? florida is a full on fascist state now. if you are queer or a POC its highly advised to stay out of that hellscape. its like a cult of personality with these people. and now with neonazis... they wont hide their support for their love of trump and now desantis. they stand outside of a theme park for families screaming their shit. how did we get here? how can we stop this? honestly i dont even know... but im disgusted and angry and just... full of vitriol and seething hatred for these fucks. remaining blind to this wont stop it. simply voting blue wont stop it. hell the GOP nazis are trying to impeach do nothing biden for nonsense so whos to say the GOP wont try that for the next guy? we need some sort of action. Police wont do it, they protect these chuds. something has to give. we imprisoned people like enrique tario but theres people always ready to take his place. we let this shit go unchecked for too long.

[storiesofsvu]

Brazen Qualities Ch 11

Warnings: language, political bullshit, some angst.

The next morning you felt like you could use about eight more espressos before you were ready to tackle your day. You were certainly off your game and prayed that work wise, nothing major came across your desk, you had enough mess on your hands as is. Punctual as ever, Heather was at your office right at nine, you were incredibly thankful for the extra coffee in her hand, groaning as the liquid soothed through your body.

“You look like crap.” She greeted, half teasing, half concerned.

“I didn’t get much sleep.” You couldn’t help but softly sigh, leaning into her palm as she stroked your cheek.

“You should duck out early today then, take some personal time.” Heather settled into a chair across from your desk.

“I’m afraid that’s out of the question.” Crossing your arms infront of you, you leant onto the desk, “do you remember what the definition of extortion is Heather?”

“What is this about?”

“Whatever the fuck was in that journal! I really wish you’d bothered to enlighten me that you were planning on blackmailing the President!”

“I knew you wouldn’t approve. I took matters into my own hands.”

“When did you go to him?”

“It doesn’t mater I-“

“WHEN!?”

“Thurday night.” She huffed in defeat.

“For fucks sake.” You muttered.

“Why?”

“If there was any chance that he came threatening to me first, I could pursue a case of first degree extortion, get him kicked out of the running if not completely out of office. But you swung first…and now I can’t.”

“He threatened you?” She felt her blood start to boil, why did Underwood need to use you to get to her instead of just coming straight to the source, he could easily leave you out of this.

“Technically both of us. He wants you to drop out of the running.”

“Absolutely not.” Heather shook her head and you sighed in annoyance, “it’s his word against mine, and half the world already doesn’t trust him.”

“Oh he’s got more than enough leverage.”

“He’s lying then. So what if he has the recording from the office, we claim the audio was altered somehow, that it wasn’t actually me saying it, or that it didn’t come from our office at all. Wost thing that happens, I lose out on a few votes, mainly republicans.”

“This isn’t about the votes Heather! Don’t you get that? There is so much more riding on this.”

“What are you talking about?” Sighing heavily you plucked the thumb drive from your purse, clicking it into your computer, crooking your finger at Heather.

“C’mere. I wanna show you something.” She paused briefly as she stood, concerned at your sudden change of demeanour, as if you were teasing her now instead of berating her. Once she was on your side of the desk, you hit play on the video.

“Motherfucker.”

“I don’t know how they got it, but they have it. There’s also footage of the hot tub from a security camera.”

“You’re sure this came from Underwood.”

“He showed up at my door last night.” You grimaced at the memory, “he’s also watched the tape in its entirety.” That made Heather’s skin absolutely crawl, the thought of anyone seeing such an intimate evening was bad, but Underwood himself? Felt like a whole new level of violation

“This is bad.” She pushed off your desk, beginning to pace slowly through your office, “fuck. I’ve got to get that journal.”

“You don’t even HAVE the journal?! Jesus, is the politics rotting your brain?”

“It’s fine! Doug probably feels betrayed by Underwood, we’ll get the journal and fire back. If this leaks then at least something will leak on the Underwood’s too.”

“Heather…” you warned, “you don’t want this getting out.”

“Fuck needing the republican votes, I still have a chance at this! He can’t bully me into dropping out of the race.”

“This isn’t about the election anymore Heather!! Jesus! This cannot get out! Published or leaked!”

“You’re worried about your career.”

“I’m worried about your family! You think you want your seventeen year old son to find it while he’s surfing some porn site? You want all your kids friends to know about it, probably have watched it? Talk about a load of bullying! Not to mention your husband! This will fucking destroy you Heather! You think you’ll be able to take office while you’re in the middle of a disastrous divorce? Hell you just made a speech about the sanctity of marriage last week at the Underwood rumours!”

“He can try to destroy me all he wants but like hell if he thinks he can take you down as collateral damage.”

“I can still be a special prosecutor with a sex tape. You can’t be you. Much less the President. You need to drop out of the race and pray for the best.”

“If we don’t have leverage on him what’s his motivation to destroy the tape?”

Your phone pinged with a notification before you could open your mouth, you swiped the notification that pulled open an app, glancing at the screen before you closed your phone again.

“Anything important?” Heather asked.

“No, just an Amazon package delivery.” Then you froze, the wheels in your head spinning faster, pulling strings together with grace, “do you agree to drop out?” Heather sighed heavily, running a hand over her face, she knew at this point, even if she had the journal, she really didn’t have another choice, ruining her entire families lives wasn’t something she wanted to do.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” You hastily started gathering your things, “call Cynthia, start working on your speech, set up a live appearance for later this week. I’ll call you later.”

“Where are you going?”

“To save your ass! Again! You owe me a raise Dunbar!”

“How about I just up your benefits?” God, this woman had literally no chill sometimes you could hear the smirk in her voice, stuttering in the doorway,

“Okay now is not the time…”

*

“Ms Vanderbilt, it is so lovely to see you again. And so soon. I suppose you’re here to tell me Ms Dunbar’s dropping out?” Underwood was ever the sly piece of crap. It disgusted you the way his eyes seemed to be able to see right through your suit, knowing what was hidden beneath it.

“I’m here to make a deal.”

“You lawyers always think you can save some trouble by making deals. What do you want?”

“Solicitor General. Ms Dunbar takes a seat on the bench. We all know Justice Jacobs is refusing anyone else’s nomination. The tape gets destroyed.”

“And what do I get out of it?”

“Ms Dunbar steps down from the presidential running. On her terms.” You flipped your iPad open, “and this doesn’tget leaked to the press.”

When your phone pinged earlier, it was a notification from your doorbell camera, motion activiated, recording both video and audio. Underwood thought he was being smart by going to your house instead of tracking you down at your office, less cameras, less chance of being seen. In turn, he’d screwed himself over.

“This alone is enough evidence to indict you, and impeachment doesn’t look good on anyone.”

“You little bitch.” He murmured. To be completely honest, he was impressed, you had more fire in you than he’d originally realized, it was a shame he didn’t have you working for him in the first place.

“I didn’t go out of my way to unlawfully survey anyone. That’s another charge I can lay on you. A doorbell cam is nothing out of the ordinary these days.”

“And the journal?”

“Never left Doug’s possession. I don’t even know what’s in it, Dunbar’s the only one who’s read it.”

Underwood cursed under his breath, retreating to his desk, pulling out a flash drive. He made a show of dropping it to the floor before stomping on it, crushing it to pieces.

“The copy on your iPad?” He pulled that out from a shelf on the wall, handing the device to you. You knew how to permanently delete things, triple checking it hadn’t been in any cloud storage, feeling a light sense of relief. Sure, there was still a chance there was a copy out there somewhere, but Underwood seemed to be fully agreeing to the deal. The threat of impeachment was a big one he didn’t want to risk.

“You really care about your reputation this much?” He questioned as you handed the tablet back to him.

“No.” You stated simply, “it’s more about the fact that you’re threatening to destroy Dunbar’s entire family for the sake of your campaign.”

“Oh sweetheart, I think you did that when you decided to get in bed with her.”

“She’s announcing Tuesday at ten thirty. I expect our contracts drawn up and on my desk no later than eleven.”

You didn’t wait for a dismissal, turning and leaving the Oval without a second look back.

*

It was a surprise to you when you arrived in your office Tuesday to find the Manila envelopes containing your and Heather’s new job offers first thing in the morning. You looked over both of them with a fine toothed comb, expecting Underwood to have weaseled some kind of loophole into them, but everything was by the book. You signed yours, sliding it back into the envelope and put Heather’s into your bag to give to her later. Letting out a heavy sigh, you felt the relief coursing through your body, finally, this was all goddamn behind you. You made a mental note to not work on a campaign ever again.

Ten thirty came and went, Heather’s main team by her side as she announced that she was dropping out of the race. She’d come up with some statement that she had chosen to take on the Justice position instead, securing her a guaranteed career for life instead of one with an expiry date. You were on your way out of the building, falling in step beside Heather in the alley as you walked to the car.

“You fucking bitch.”

Fucking Doug. What the fuck was he doing here.

“You bail on me, and then get me fired. Publicy. I’ll never work again, it’s completely humiliating.” He was slurring his words, already teetering more on his feet than normal.

“Doug you need to leave.” You stated firmly, knowing he was drunk, and that he probably knew what was on the destoryed tape. There were still reporters inside the building, the last thing you needed was for your secret to come out after doing everything you could to make sure it was safe.

“Oh fuck you.” He spat.

You saw the flash of movement and knew instantly what was about to happen, the panic in your chest rising at the glint of metal pointed toward Heather. Your instincts took over without even thinking, shoving her behind you, out of range of the bullet right as the shot went off.

The sound of the gun, and the scream from Heather gained more than enough attention from inside the building, and in his state, Doug definitely wasn’t getting away with this. You collapsed into the side of the car, hands clutching at your abdomen where blood was seeping through your shirt at an alarming rate.

“No..no, no, no…you’re gonna be fine, look at me, you’re gonna be fine.” Heather ripped off her jacket, pressing the fabric against your skin. You knew her words were trying to reassure you, but it was getting more painful to breathe each second that went by. Glassy tears flooding her eyes was the last thing you remembered before it all went black.

[tatney]

saw first time viewing livewatch thoughts

* adam is so transgender <3

* oh so the quality of my ill eagle copy isn’t that bad it’s just that the lights were off lol

* his name is lawrence gordon. he’s a DOCTOR

* mr elwes sir please stop mumbling my autistic ears cannot hear your

* MR FAULKNER STANHEIGHT IS A WHOWERE. WHY DID YOU SHOW HIM YOUR TIT

* aha lawrence is t posing :)

* adam. my widdle boy

* lawrence telling him to take his shirt off 👀

* GSMSHSKWYKSBSKSUWLHD JOHN IS SUCH A BITCH

* I KNOW EVERYONE IN THE FANDOM CALLS ADAM PATHETIC BUT GOD

* john mulaney hmm gross!.jpeg

* okay but i WOULD have checked under the toilet lid first. the things you’ll do for an older man 😔

* these two are so bad at playing catch. the kids who didn’t run the mile representation

* if i could see cary elwes’ eyebrows better i’d find him s*xier

* JOHN KRAMER I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF. I HATE THIS MAN I CANNOT STAND THIS MAN

* so the editing really IS like that huh

* yes he IS a murderer you stupid son of a bitch. there is no “technically” about it you fucking idiot

* we’ve got two bitches from lost my beloved :)

* THAT’S THE PRESIDENT FROM THE BLACKLIST TOO

* all of sing’s clothes are too big for him. small man :)

* MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY

* PLEASE GOD I LOVE HER I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH I’LL CRY

* i knew that the editing was like THAT but not that MUCH ya know goddamn

* oh a giallo style shot. lov that <3

* MISS SHAWNEE SMITH DESERVES EVERY AWARD ACTUALLY

* motherfucker on his liddol tricycle

* i would piss on that fucking puppet

* futurama they must learn our peaceful ways by force.jpeg

* that’s just john’s vibe

* i wonder how much of saw inspired the batman arkham games thinking emoji

* how am i only half an hour way through

* tbh i want this kid’s duvet not kidding

* girl you in DANGER

* and i want that big snake :)

* HE’S NOT PLAYING THIS LITTLE PIGGY. NOT IN A MOVIE WHEREIN PEOPLE DON PIG MASKS BC THEIR REPRESENT REBIRTH AND PEOPLE ARE CONTINUOUSLY CUTTING THEIR FEET OFF. MR WHANNEL I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU

* “she’s beautiful” he’s taking about the dog BSBNSYSLAYSLSBLSU

* “where’s the. uh lucky wife” and you mean to tell me that adam isn’t a homosexual when he looks at lawrence like that while saying this line

* “i’m always missing from the photos” oh sir i’ve been on saw tumblr just you wait for the dramatic irony to hit just you WAIT

* oh god i though jigsaw wrote a slur in there good GOD

* very billy from black christmas vibes, harold finch from person of interest :)

* excuse me mr tapp but who’s amy and why do you have her starbucks order

* OOOOOOOHHHH FUNKY TRANSITION

* james wan you are such a KING

* “who said anything about a warrant?” sir that’s illegal

* sir that’s breaking and entering

* sir that’s a LOT of paperwork that you won’t be able to complete bc you’ll be dead soon but STILL

* did jigsaw plan on lawrence wearing blue or was that a funny coincidence lol

* john’s wearing his bathrobe

* HIS ASSASSINS CREED BATHROBE HOLY SHIT

* ooh slidey door. wonder if there’ll be more of those later on teehee hoo hoo

* somebody show tapp the “that’s not your depression bed; that’s your nest omega” tiktok and see if that does anything

* “what do you want me to do? i’m on a leash” DOGBOY ADAM DOGBOY ADAM DOGBOY ADAM

* “you wanna put something in this room in your mouth?” “YES!!!!!!” are these lines from fanfiction verbatim

* adam you’re so fuckin stupid why would you spy on a man but keep the flash of your camera on

* OOOOOOOOOOH IT’S THE CINEMATIC PIG CARPARK SCENE

* “whatEVER” “i’m dealing with a juvenile.....” this is what happens when you have a sugar baby lawrence

* INFAMOUS ADAM GENDER SMOKING FAKE DEATH BREAKDANCE SCENE LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

* little dogboy twink photographers have me in a perpetual chokehold they really do

* i mean he’ll waste a lot of film but. okay i guess this is a horror movie after all gsmshsksynbsmahsp

* BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR GAY LITTLE PUPPET WITH MY BAT

* oh adam really is serving jonathan byers teas with the baseball bat and the camera as weapons. fuck

* cary elwes posh little accent coming THROUGH

* adam doesn’t make sense as cis man. he just doesn’t look at that man he’s so transgender

* ok but lawrence’s “mistress” is GORGEOUS actually omg

* i’m still gonna say that he’s gay tho. u can’t take that away form me lol

* adam’s wrists are so LIMP holy shit

* lawrence gordon classist moments

* mr elwes please control your accent sir i’m struggling not to laugh

* ok ally’s a girlboss then !

* michael emerson my beloved. when you try to be evil you have all the menace of a disgruntled bunny rabbit

* “lawrence get up! i need you!” now when you fuckers told me these two were gay you didn’t say THIS gay

* at least ally and diana are ok :)

* ok my headcanon is that lawrence is originally from england but was moved to america as a kid bc i need in contextual reasons for all of the accent slips that i can’t take seriously

* ADAM GIRLBOSS MOMENT

* “don’t worry i’ll bring someone back i promise” YOU LYING TRICK ASS MOTHERFUCKER I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF /j /affectionate

* at least john’s got that ARCH

* IT’S THE SCENE IT’S THE SCENE

* god that movie fucked. that movies fucked SO hard good god no wonder gay people love it

* ok i think that ill league gull copy broke my laptop lol