#and now she very suddenly has to work on EVERY PROBLEM AND PROJECT ON EARTH. RIGHT NOW. WITH INCOMPREHENSIBLY HIGH STAKES.

[blujayonthewing]

one problem with dnd is that, to some extent, you kinda have to do Getting A Good Grade In Therapy conversations sometimes because you don't get to control the entire narrative or anyone else's characters, so if you want people to know what your character is really thinking or feeling then eventually you kinda just have to say it out loud, and the problem with that is that sometimes you're playing a character who is really not very good at even knowing what they are thinking or feeling themselves in the first place

[strangesthirdeye]

Chapter 1: NEW BUDDIES!

✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩

"So! with what happened right now, is because you want to know about the Tesseract, eh? . Where did you get that thing?" you said fixing the bottom of the Tardis with a flamethrower.

Fire splatters began to spray all over the place. Good thing you're wearing safety goggles. This is the daily routine you make. Fix all the broken things and there are times when you upgrade something for future use. It can be said that every day you do repair work because you really can't sit still. There are dangers that can be said to always come with open arms. As if invited without the knowledge of the owner themselves. It's like you are a moving problem magnet. All the problems that exist will definitely be with you.

" Like I said, my cat swallowed that thing and threw it back up. " Fury said as he leaned against the Tardis barrier with his arms crossed over his chest.

"yeah I know, that. But, how can that thing exist?" you stopped your work and started to go upstairs, hand holding the flamethrower."How did it get to earth?"

You murmured before placing the flamethrower into a special crate at the bottom of the TARDIS control station then you crouched down and pulled your sonic screwdriver out of your pants pocket and pointed it at the wires coming out of the control station. The shrill sound of the sonic screwdriver began to be heard.

Fury looked at your face for a moment. Maybe think of a way to tell about it. Although it's a bit complicated to explain, it's not wrong if he wants to try. But, it's not easy for him to tell this to people he doesn't know very well. Not to mention people who just met a few minutes ago.

Fury sighed. " it's a long story. It's a bit complicated to tell. Too much drama. So, easy to tell, it started in the 1980s, project leader Wendy Lawson, who was in reality a Kree named Mar-Vell, used the Tesseract's energy to create the Light-Speed Engine in an attempt to end the Kree-Skrull War. She called it Project Pegasus. She died and the project was dissolved. But, in another time. Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for 'someone'. He thought that this Tesseract had countless energy. A powerful energy. That's something the world desperately needs. And because of that, we all plan to continue this study. This is what I know, so the story is a bit complicated. Very complicated. And the end, here it is now. In the hands of Loki."

(Don't mad at me.. I don't know how to tell this story. Honestly. This is what i found on the internet. If you don't understand, feel free to do your own research.. Quack)

You stopped working for a moment and looked at Fury's stern face. You then go back to work. The sonic screwdriver was turned on again and pointed at the wire that you were holding.

"So you want to say that the Tesseract has been on earth for a long time? It's impossible that such a powerful object can suddenly exist on earth. There must be another source that caused the existence of that thing." You said then put the mended wire back into place. And immediately, the slightly dimmed light slowly brightened.

Fury was silent for a moment. "If I knew how it existed, I wouldn't tell people I just met a few minutes ago. How can I trust you when you're not an alien who came to take the Tesseract?"

You frowned and turned your gaze to Fury. "For your information, I am indeed an Alien. Time Lord... Well.. Time Lady actually. And I didn't come here to take your Tesseract. I came here because I crashed after running away from a broken potato-headed aliens."

You sighed lightly then turned your gaze to the control screen and pressed a few buttons. You are tired of being misunderstood. Whatever you do, there must be people who are suspicious or distrustful. This always happens and causes you to get fed up with questions from people who have suspicious feelings towards you.

Fury pushed himself from where he was leaning. " you? an alien? If you are an alien, why do you look like a human."

You looked Fury up and down with sharp eyes. "Why are you the one who looks like Time Lord.?"

"sorry? What did you say?"

"Why are you looks like Time Lord? Easy, because, the Time Lord came first before the existence of humans like you, Pirate" you said with a tone of sarcasm before looking back at the screen.

Fury frowned in confusion. Probably thinking about what you said. Time Lord and human, there is so many difference. The difference is that Time Lord can fake their death with regeneration and they have two hearts. Humans do not have two hearts and regeneration and just die. Easy! Their bodies are the same but their stamina and strength are completely different.

" and what made you say that?" asked Fury.

"Because Time Lord has been living in this world for a long time before there was a planet called Earth. We've been here longer than you expected and we've seen how your life grows and shapes. From then until now. You're human, you're just the same, there's nothing different about you being on this planet. The feeling of curiosity and wanting to rule is in the heart of every human being. The feeling that is our own self didn't know it existed." you said as you waved your hands in the air."very different from a Time Lord, actually."

Fury glanced at you with slightly widened eyes. "So, you've been living in this world for a long time. So you know everything that happens on Earth. And what makes a Time Lord different from humans?"

You looked at Fury for a long time. Try to think of a sentence. "easy! Humans only live once and the Time Lord can fake their death with regeneration" and you walk away from the screen.

Fury looked at you in disbelief. Fury blinked a few times. "Regeneration? Like a lizard?"

You looked at Fury with a scowl. "Lizard? isn't there another example? why not a salamander.. a gecko.. it's cute" you walked around the Tardis.

"aren't they both the same"

"ahh, it looks like a lizard but they are a different species. And to answer your question, yes I regenerate but not like a lizard. It is different from the way a lizard regenerates. In the body of every Time Lord there will be one thing that allows us to cheat our deaths. So this thing has a limit and until the time it will end. Time Lords released massive amounts of a hormone called lindos in moments of extreme trauma, and it was this hormone which triggered regeneration. Newly regenerated Time Lords could be identified by elevated levels of lindos in their system. During regeneration, we will change some old cells to new cells as well as our physical and mental. What I mean by physical and mental change is that, if I have a serious or minor injury, the injury I suffer will automatically heal quickly and all that will remain is a scar. And mentally, most likely, after regeneration my behavior may change from good to rude or hyperactive or something else."You mumbled, trying to explain how regeneration happened to Fury who was still standing but his mouth was slightly open trying to digest your explanation.

You stopped babbling and looked at Fury. You tossed your Sonic Screwdriver into the air and it landed in your palm then you put it in the holster on your waist.

" So you understand?" you asked Fury.

"There's no way that shit can happen" said Fury trying to reject your statement just now. He is actually still doubtful about you so that's why he has a hard time believing what you say if it doesn't happen in front of his eyes.

'Does he want me to get injured and regenerate in front him?' You thought annoyingly while pressing several icons on the screen.

You shrugged and looked at the TARDIS screen. "hmm, it's up to you to believe it or not. At least I've explained how regeneration works"

The TARDIS lights then come on. "oh let him think first, Y/n. He's still hesitant to believe in something like this" Said the TARDIS.

Fury looked around alertly. Perhaps surprised that the TARDIS uttered his voice.

"Oh, I didn't say anything. It's up to him to believe it or not" you replied, your eyes never leaving the screen.

Fury walked towards you and stood by your side. His eyes looked around the TARDIS.

"it's talking" said Fury with a stutter but managed to hide it.

"oh yeah, that voice is the TARDIS. He's alive and not just a time machine. He has his own personality so I hope you understand if he's a little sarcastic" you replied with a big smile looking at Fury.

Fury nodded. "Have we arrived yet?"

You nodded quickly then pressed a few buttons on the controller and pulled the lever down. Maybe the brakes. The TARDIS rocked and jolted violently causing you and Fury to quickly grab something to latch on to.

You looked at Fury with wide eyes.

"well, the shaking was strong" you said before running towards the TARDIS door.

Fury then followed you carefully from behind. Your hand reached for the TARDIS doorknob and then you pulled the door open. Light from outside the TARDIS then entered the TARDIS and blinded you and Fury's eyes.

You blinked trying to adjust your eyes to the sunlight and so did Fury. After blinking your eyes a few times, you can clearly see what is outside. The atmosphere was busy with some workers wearing orange uniforms who were quite fit doing some work. There was also a flight jet that landed on the landing pad accompanied by several workers.  Some workers have repaired some jets and modified some jets on the side of the ship

You slowly walked out of the TARDIS. Your eyes are attracted by the view of the blue and wide ocean.

'it's like a navy ship' you think.

Fury then exited the TARDIS and looked around. He took a deep breath. You looked at Fury.

"well, I didn't even know you were the captain of a navy ship.. I mean you really look like a captain because.. you know?" you gestured your hand to your left eye and covered it with your palm as if mimicking the Fury eye patch .

Fury looked at you sharply and without uttering any words from his mouth, you awkwardly lowered your hand with an uncomfortable face. Fury then walked past you with a serious aura.

"this is a HELICARRIER. belonging to SHIELD. Well, it does look like a navy ship but it's more than that" said Fury to you who were still standing in front of the TARDIS.

You nodded in understanding and tried to follow Fury but were stopped by several agents holding guns at you. You immediately raised your hands as if you were surrendering.

"This is a private area! You are forbidden to be here. State your name and your purpose here" shouted one of the agents there.

You looked at some agents there with a slightly frowning expression. " The Doctor. Y/n. TARDIS. Fun" you said casually but with a smile

"This is serious! If you don't leave here you will be arrested and put in a cell!" said the agent firmly. Their hands are holding the gun tightly towards you. At any time they can pull the trigger of the gun if you are not serious.

You let out a short breath. "well, your Captain Fury invited me here" you said.

"I don't see Director Fury here"

"yeah, because he just walked away"

"Do not lie!"

"I don't" you rolled your eyes at the agent. Maybe done with that stupid question.

"then, what is the police telephone box from 60's doing here?" said one of the other agents.

"welp, believe it or not this is my ship" you said proudly.

"Bullshit! There is no ship that is shaped like a police box from the 60's let alone so small" argued the same agent with his hand still pointing the gun at your chest.

"oh there is, you're the only one who doesn't believe it or not.. And it's bigger than you think" you said teasingly.

"we don't trust people who shouldn't be he-"

"Enough!"

The agents surrounding you looked at the sound of the scream earlier. There stood a woman in her 20s wearing a black leather jacket and a red t-shirt inside with fiery red hair that was only above her shoulders and with a calm expression on her face even though she had just shouted at the agents surrounding you to stop. All the agents there stopped pointing their guns at you and looked at the calm woman respectfully and stood straight. You raised an eyebrow in surprise. The power that this woman holds, she must be an experienced agent with a high position. No wonder all the agents were nervous and respected the calm woman.

But, what caught your attention were the two men behind the calm woman. One with blonde hair, wearing a flannel shirt with a collar and wearing a thick collared leather jacket and has a fit body while the other wears a complete suit also in dark brown and a purple shirt inside and has dark brown hair and looks a bit lost standing there.

But seeing those men, you remembered something.

"AHH! YEAH! Ohh, this is BRILLIANT!" you exclaimed excitedly, then walked towards the two men standing behind the calm woman.

Seeing what happened, all the agents who were standing respectfully pointed their guns at you but were stopped by the calm woman.

"oh! I didn't think I'd see you two here. America's first hero and scientist who was affected by gamma radiation!" you said as you excitedly shook the blonde man's hand and then shook the scientist's hand. Your happy face does not change.

The blonde man looked at you with a confused face while the scientist man looked at you with what could be said to be worry.

"uhm.." the male scientist started to worry about you being over excited.

"aghh! I didn't expect to see Captain Steven Grant Rogers and Doctor Bruce Banner here. One is patriotic and the other is full of science. I'm Y/n, although some call me The Doctor but that's just my title .. I don't care what you want to call me" you started to calm down and your over excited decreased but your big smile didn't change.

'Wow.. This regeneration is really over excited this time'

The calm woman who had been watching the interaction between you and the two men started walking towards the three of you.

"I'm not surprised if Fury brings new people but you're not on our list.. So who are you? What are you doing here?" asked the calm woman with a strong and firm voice.

'wow.. this woman really has a strong aura'

"I'm Y/n, or the Doctor. Well some people call me the Doctor because it's more or less like a superhero name but that's what they call me" you replied as you calmed down.

"and also, Fury himself brought me here or rather I brought Fury here.. like I gave him a lift here in my TARDIS. And regarding the list.. you may need to add my name to the list.. seeing I will be here for a long time." you said with a light up tone.

The calm woman looked at you for a long time as if trying to read your body language before she nodded and shook your hand.

" Agent Natasha Romanoff, I'm one of the SHIELD agents here. Codename Black Widow " Natasha introduced herself. Her strong aura is still in the air and this makes you intimidating with her.

"oh, yeah! Black Widow.. No wonder I've heard your name before.. former assassin and now an agent for SHIELD.. A good one at that.. I'm so pleased to see you" you said while shook Natasha's hand excitedly.

'No wonder her aura is so strong'

Natasha tilted her head slightly. " you know me?"

You giggled. "oh I just heard from one of my 'old friends'.. He was a little angry.."

"he? "

"spoilers" you said as you put your index finger to your mouth in a 'shush' sign.

Bruce looked around uneasily. He rubbed his hands trying to get rid of his anxious feelings. Steve looked at Bruce with a worried expression after noticing the change in Bruce's situation.

"Are you ok, Doctor Banner?" Steve asked in a worried tone.

Bruce nodded his head. "yes, I'm fine.. I'm just a little anxious about all these things.. I still don't know how that Doctor knew about my case even though it was kept secret"

Steve nodded his head in understanding. His eyes looked at the two women who were still talking. Even though Steve is still in the phase of being surprised by the changing times and the sophistication of technology, he understands what Bruce feels now. Anxious with all the things that we ourselves don't know what to do. What they both know is that they need to help SHIELD to track the Tesseract.

"Must be strange for you, all ofthis." Banner said to Steve. His eyes looked at Steve's face.

"Well, this is actually kind of familiar. " replied Steve.

Banner nodded in understanding. He then closed his mouth. Maybe don't know how to continue the conversation.

"Gentlemen, you might wanna step inside in a minute. It's gonna get a little hard to breathe." Natasha said with her smooth voice.

You walked over and stood next to Bruce. Suddenly there was a loud humming sound from the ship you were stepping on now. You, Steve and Bruce looked around at the busy atmosphere. All the crew are rushing to prepare for something. There is a loud whirring and clunking sound. You, Banner and

Rogers make your way to the edge of the helicarrier.

" Is this a submarine?"asked Steve loudly trying to beat the noise.

Bruce who looked at the bottom of the helicarrier looked resigned. "Really, they want me in a submerged pressurized metal container?"

"oh I don't think they want to drown you, Doctor Banner" you said. Your eyes don't run away from the propellers that start to spin and start to rise.

'ok, this isn't a submarine.. Fury was right.. It's more of a Navy ship' your hearts sank when you realized what was happening now.

And just like that, the helicarrier began to rise and rise into the air. The strong wind began to pick up as the helicarrier rose into the air, making your hair and the others hair tousled with the strong wind. You then remembered something.

" OH! MY TARDIS! WAIT! " You ran quickly towards where your TARDIS was located.

yup, you forgot to lock the TARDIS door and Bounty is still in the TARDIS.

༺ღ༒ Time Skips ༒ღ༻

You, Bounty, Rogers and Banner follow Natasha into the bridge. Natasha peels away from you guys as you guys stare and observe in awe all technologies in the helicarrier. Various sophisticated technologies made Steve and Bruce look amazed. Meanwhile, you just observed one of the technologies there with a frown. Even though you know that all the technology here is sophisticated, the sophistication of this technology cannot beat how sophisticated the Time Lord's technology is. It’s very busy, with SHIELD personnel working at stations, and communicating over earpieces.

Bounty who just finished charging saw the current situation as if he was not comfortable with the busy and rushing atmosphere and started to move closer to your feet. He's holding your pants with his little hands.

"Maximum performance takeoff, increase output to capacity." Tech 1 said, fingers pressing the keyboard rapidly. Eyes do not run away from the screen

"Power plant performing atcapacity. We are clear." Bridge Tech said in her stern voice.

There stood a woman dressed in a SHIELD uniform and her dark brown hair tied up looking at a computer. "All engines operating. SHIELD emergency protocol one nine three

point six in effect." the woman looked at Fury. " We're at level, sir. "

Fury nodded his head, his eyes looking at the front of the ship with both hands out to each side holding the controls. Standing majestically there with his serious face, he opened his mouth.

"Good! Let's vanish." Fury commanded to all the agents on duty there.

"Engage retro reflection panels" The woman wearing the uniform commanded the agents there.

And the Hellicarrier became invisible. After making sure everything went smoothly, Fury turned back and looked at the three figures standing there.

"Gentleman, lady" Fury said as he walked up to the three of you.

Steve who was still in a state of amazement put his hand into his jacket took out money and slipped a piece of money to Fury with his eyes still in front of the ship.

You and Bruce looked at each other.

'well they must be making a bet'

Fury looked at Bruce and extended his hand to shake. "Doctor, thank you for coming."

Bruce nodded and shook Fury's hand. "Thanks for asking nicely. So, um,

how long am I staying?"

"Once we get our hands on it Tesseract, you're in the wind." replied Fury reassuringly to Bruce.

"Well where are you with that?" you interrupted the two men.

"We're sweeping everything wirelessly

accessible camera on the planet. Cell phones , laptops, if it’s connected to a satellite, it’s eyes and ears for us." said an Agent wearing a suit with his arms crossed.

Steve, who was just amazed by all the technology, looked at you all confused after hearing what you all said. You then noticed that Natasha walked to one of the computers and slid the computer screen with her finger and a short haired man appeared with a serious face. You can see Natasha's face after seeing the man. A worried look was visible on the red haired woman's face even though people there didn't notice it with her expression but you did.

"It’s still not gonna find them in time." said Natasha, her eyes still looking at the screen.

"You have to narrow your field. How many Spectrometers do you have access to?" Bruce asked Fury.

Fury looked at Bruce. "How many are there?"

"Call every lab you know. Tell them to put the Spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for Gamma rays. I'll rough out a tracking

algorithm, basic cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?" Bruce said as he opened his dark brown blazer and revealed the purple shirt he was wearing.

(all geniuses wear purple)

"Agent Romanoff, would you show? Doctor Banner to his laboratory, please? And Y/n..” Fury called out.

"yes?" you looked at Fury with raised eyebrows.

"I want to talk to you alone" replied Fury and walked to the end of the ship.

You followed Fury to the end of the ship looking around the ship.

"well, I'm quite amazed by the technology here.. Humans nowadays are getting smarter as time goes on. But I still think Time Lord technologies are more advanced" you rambled fast.

Fury looked at you without saying anything. "Our technology is indeed sophisticated and complete with a strong defense.. and that's why we need to make sure that some of the technologies here always run smoothly for this mission and we don't want to talk about our technology right now. Might as well introduce you to Stark."

You stiffened and looked at Fury very intimidatingly. Fury's serious aura was still hovering in the air. You nodded.

" yeah, yeah.. About the cube.. so.. you still can't track the cube? Or Loki? " you asked walking and then leaning against the wall of the ship looking at Fury with your arms crossed.

"We are still searching and this mission needs many more people to help in this mission. Loki is still out there and we are just waiting for time to find that man along with some of our agents." Fury replied.

You narrowed your eyes. "So you want me to join your team?"

"yes.. The Avengers" replied Fury, nodding his head.

"The Avengers? What is that? Is it a band?"

"It's a group for extraordinary people who help to fight any threat from outer space or earth.. And not a band." Fury explained simply.

"So you want me to join your group to fight the alien threat to save the world?" you said.

" that's right.. We have gathered some people here and we are just waiting for time for us to get what information they have collected and I think, with your knowledge like you mentioned , this mission will go smoothly." Fury replied with his hands placed behind him.

"Time Lord's knowledge.. I think I said I just want to help you instead of using this knowledge to make work easier.. Time Lord's knowledge is advanced knowledge and can interfere with human history. So I recommend you not to urge me to use anything the knowledge you want me to give." you said seriously.

" and if you don't want to share knowledge, you must understand the way humans think. And behave because I just got a report from some agents about your behavior earlier." Fury insisted while looking at you like a father scolding his child.

"ahh, that's just one time. You see, my mind are just regenerated and I still want to understand this behavior so that's why I'm a little over excited" you said towards Fury.

Fury just looked at you without saying anything. "go to Agent Romanoff and follow her to the lab. There you can start"

You nodded and walked over to Natasha and Bruce who were talking to each other near the ship's bridge.

Fury then just looked at you and walked over to the woman in the SHIELD uniform.

"Hill, did you tell the council that Barton had been compromised?" Fury asked Maria Hill.

Maria looked at Fury with raised eyebrows. "Was that not procedure?"

Fury just kept quiet and walked towards and looked ahead. Maria looked at Fury.

"Did you tell them who exactly is on

your response team?"

Fury looked over his shoulder and his eyes caught a glimpse of you walking out of the deck area.

"Doesn't appear that I have to."

               ✰    ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅     ✰

[aelaer]

“Nobody asked about my writing” meme

Thanks for the tag, @tea-understands :) Thankfully I have a small handful of folks who ask me about such things but I do love these memes.

 1: what are you currently working on? 

The Big Boy Fic! The finale of Earth-197320, which I'm 99% certain I am calling Above the Shadows. And I'll have a fun update on Write Every Day June in a couple days.

2: summarize your current project 

It's the fifth and final fic in a series that I started 4 years ago from an anonymous prompt sent to @amethyst-noir. I really clicked with it and she gave me her blessing to pursue it as a full-fledged fic, and here we are today.

Here's my first stab at a proper summary that I wrote for this questionnaire (tell me what you think y'all??):

2019 starts off in crisis-mode as rifts within the borders of reality begin spiraling out of control, drawing the resources of the Masters of the Mystic Arts thin. Tony now juggles the problems of a suddenly-absent Stephen, keeping his work with the sorcerers a secret, and Pepper's uncertain future. Stephen does what he can to maintain the stability of reality while keeping the promises he made. And somewhere out there, the other Stephen Strange is still hiding, putting his own plans into play.

3: summarize your current project poorly 

An author split up what should have been a single work into five separate stories because she wanted to fulfill Bingo cards in 2019, leading to a series that the readers are probably going to need to reread because there's so much detail in Fic 5 that calls back to stuff that happened in Fics 1-4. Fics 1-3 match the length of Fic 4, and Fic 5 is well over the length of Fics 1-4 combined, making for even poorer fic splitting choices. Whoops.

4: describe your favorite character or characters

I mean. Do I really need to? If you're on my blog you know who my faves are.

I guess quick summary as they are in the series in particular:

Stephen Strange: Has an enormous guilt complex that he's been working through a lot. He got better with the help of new friends. His work has endeared them to him quite a bit.

Wong: Has taken a leadership role, but not the title of Sorcerer Supreme for reasons not yet established to the readers. Carries his own secrets. Excellent poker face, but not emotionless.

Tony Stark: Has been blatantly ignoring the Accords ever since he went against Ross's back to find Steve in Siberia and has been continuing that trend since. Seeing the feds turn their eyes on Peter changed his opinion quite strongly. The Steve Issue is still difficult.

Other Strange: He thinks the Avengers and Masters of the Mystic Arts have failed their duties and that he can protect all of reality by himself. He just needs more power.

5: post a line from your current project without any context 

Closed my eyes and scrolled and went to a random page. This is what came up.

Oh, Jesus Christ. This explained so much about the man.

6: how do you get through writers block?

If it's not something health-related which just makes it physically very hard to work on items, I'll switch projects with my shorter fics. For a long fic like this, I'll put on a sprint and just power through 15 minutes at a time to get the harder bits out.

For health-related stuff (including mental), you sometimes just need to work on that first before you can be in the right space to write.

7: would you want to live in the world of your current work? 

Hell no. Superhero worlds are terrible for normal people.

8: briefly discuss your outlining process, if you outline 

I write an outline with the main beats of what I want in that chapter. Then when I get to the actual chapter, I'll sometimes expand the outline with more detail in that chapter section itself. I often go back to the main outline and add new things as I come up with them, or switch around elements in the story to a new chapter. This is how the planned outline has grown from around 12 normal chapters and 1 interlude chapter to 18 normal chapters and 2 interlude chapters (with potential for more growth seeing as I'm getting into some areas that have original outlining that I no longer am certain I want to use as they were ideas from over 2 years ago and the story's evolved a lot since then).

9: what is the aesthetic of your current project?

So much plot. Rewriting a lot of the end of phase 3 to push my Found Family agenda. Fix it vibes, but I think it's a natural fix it arc from the canon drama that could have happened in canon if the Russos gave a damn. A lot of character exploration into their own separate journeys and growth arcs. Pretty accurate on Marvel tones with action, drama, a bit of snark and humor. An itty bitty dash of canon romance but we all know I'm including it only because it needs to be there due to the plot and character arc reasons and not because I'm all googly-eyed for the genre.

10: what song sums up your current work the best?

Each chapter in the series takes a song lyric from a specific song and I identify that song with the story pretty heavily. For instance, Illuminating the Shadows took "The Light" from Disturbed.

For Above the Shadows, it's "Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy (who I'm seeing live in concert in a couple days, yay).

Tagging those who I know are writing/trying to write: @mckiwi, @sobeautifullyobsessed, @burglarhobbit, @amethyst-noir. No obligation either way. Also if I didn't tag you please feel free to take this (and you can poke me here if you'd like as a reminder that you're still actively writing fic regardless of the fandom and I'll try to remember for these sorts of things).

[ladysternchen]

“What are you doing, my love?”

Beren’s voice sounded mildly amused, which Lúthien chose to ignore as she placed the lamp before their door, playing for time. Would it be easier, she wondered, to play astounded and claim that they had put the lantern up every year since Dior had been born, after all, rather than admit to her behaviour being strange, now that they were all gone from Tol Galen? It was, after all, a tale that the Secondborn told, Lúthien reminded herself firmly, and she herself most certainly did not believe in it.

“It has become a tradition, has it not?” she replied evenly, opting for something of a mid-way between the two.

Beren chuckled some more.

“Verily. But it is a children’s tale, and alas, the children are no longer here.”

“No.” Lúthien agreed, bending down to light the flame within.

The evening seemed to have gone suddenly cold, even though it had been an unusually warm day. But the chill of being left behind, nothing could chase away.

“They will be alright.”

Beren’s grip on her shoulders was firm, and she fled into his embrace, doing her best to ignore how age had already started to bend him like a gnarled tree, had made his joints stiff and his bones brittle.

She knew not whether the gloom that gripped her was foresight or just the age-old grief that ailed all Elvenkind when autumn passed slowly towards winter and took all life with it, but in any case, she could not bring herself to answer her husband.

“Let us go inside.” she said instead, shivering slightly. “It is getting cold.”

~~~

“We do what?” Elmo asked aghast, making Elu wince slightly. This was not the way one spoke to the lord of Mandos, and though Elmo’s manners had not been his problem for many thousand years, it still made him blush. Or it would have done, had he had a body. His embarrassment notwithstanding, he too was sure that he had misheard Lord Námo’s words, and by the incredulous expression on his face, Mablung could not believe his ears either. Surely this could not be true? How could it be, when not so much as a whisper of it had ever reached his ears?

Námo, however, seemed not at all surprised at their astonishment, for surely he had been met with it many times before, both on this evening and in the uncounted evenings that had proceeded it.

“You will not remember.” He said calmly, as though there had been no interruption. “No Fëa in these halls will know aught of it tomorrow. And still it is the first -and most important- step to acceptance. And without acceptance, there can be no true healing, no growth of the mind. Fear not what you may see, fear no grief nor pain. Olórin here is a servant of my sister, and he will guide you and keep you from going astray. You will not remember.”

And with these words, he moved on, leaving Elu, Elmo and Mablung to bow hastily before him.

“Shall we, then?”

Elu had not noticed the Maia before, the one whom Námo had named Olórin. Memories stirred, swirling out of his reach like furls of dust on water. Melian had spoken of Olórin to him, Elu was sure of it, but try as he might, he could not recall it. He had learned the hard way that one left not only one’s body behind at death, and that things like time and memory worked very differently within the Halls.

“Memory will return to you, Elwë.” Olórin said gently, making it very clear that he had been listening to Elu’s thoughts. “You only have to be patient. This first year marks too raw an experience for almost everyone to reclaim lordship of their senses. It will be easier after tonight.”

None of them spoke as Olórin cloaked each of them in a cloak that shimmered in every colour and yet none, a fabric clearly of Lady Vairë’s weaving. Olórin proved Elu right soon thereafter, when he explained to them that these cloaks were made to shield the unclad Fëar on their journey. At last, he also handed each of them a small lantern, glowing within with a light Elu knew well. It was the same light that seemed to shine within those one loved and sought within the Halls, visible only to the eye of the seeker. Lady Nienna called it ‘The Light of Love’, and Elu very much liked the term. It was this light that had guided him to his brother, and Mablung, too, when the recently fallen Fëar had been called before the throne of Mandos. Much though it grieved him to know that Elmo and Mablung had died so soon after him, that in fact they had gone after him, their grief too vast to bear, having them by his side still was a comfort beyond words now, as they were about to set out onto this unlikeliest of journeys- his little brother, whom he had ever kept close, and Mablung, who had never once left his side in life safe by his order.

“Where to shall we go?” Mablung asked in a subdued voice once they were clear of the Halls, making their way through Lórien among all the other bouncing lights.

“That is up to you to decide. I shall come with you regardless of where you go. Most decide to go where they found their death first, but that is by no means a rule.”

The three looked at each other.

“To Menegroth, then.”

It was strange to cross the sea once more, and stranger still to move in the world one had so long walked bodiless, free from the confines of time and space. Ghostly bridges seemed to lead them over the sea, many of them, arising from the waves before their feet and sinking back into them soon after they had passed.

It seemed to take no time at all to cross Belegaer, and soon they saw the ships of the Falathrim sailing among them, lights upon the prows, passing close by. Elu knew whom he would see on one of those ships, knew that their strange bridge would have lead them straight to Círdan. Farewell indeed.

Elmo sought Elu’s hand as they at last beheld their cousin, standing under the light cast by the lamp, looking grim and tired. If only there was a way to reach him, to comfort him. But this they could not, and so they had no choice but to watch his ship pass into the evening-mists and out of sight, and continue on their way with heavy hearts.

Covering the many leagues between the shore and the River Aros took them just as unsettlingly little time as crossing the sea, and beyond Aros lay still the forest of Region. Elu’s heart ached as they passed through what had so long been the Girdle. He still felt its remains, like one ghost greeting another in the quickly falling darkness. There were guards, many of them, many more than he himself had once placed upon their boarders. It was good to see that his people had accustomed already to being unshielded, and that Dior knew how to keep their kingdom safe.

They reached the Esgalduin almost too soon, and trod now on paths that were so achingly familiar that it marked a physical pain not to linger.

This had been home.

When they reached the gates of Menegroth, Elu could not go on, and nor could Mablung, and so Elmo and Olórin halted, too and gazed upon the hill in sorrow. The horse of a guard spooked as it felt their gaze, so they quickly averted it.

Now he came to think of it, there had always been a time in autumn where the animals seemed to have been restless, but he had never thought that they quite literally were seeing ghosts. Elu glanced at his brother. Had Galadhon visited them, then? Had he wandered among them once more without their knowing, and Thônwen, Celebren and all the others, without them being any the wiser? Oh, this was a thought that was as cruel as it was beautiful.

And Melian? Had she known? Surely, if she had, she would have spoken to him of it, would have told him. Unless, of course, she was forbidden to speak of the matter, which, upon consideration, she probably was. But Elu could not think of his wife just now. It hurt too much.

Laughter tore Elu from his silent musings, and he watched with renewed pain in his heart as the two boys frolicked around on the bridge, throwing leaves at each other, before his eyes wandered on to Dior and Nimloth, and Galathil, who carried his little granddaughter. Little Elwing was the image of her mother in face, but her hair was raven as Lúthien’s. Oh, how they had looked forward to getting the news of her birth, so much so that the anticipation had pierced even through Elu’s madness and obsession. But alas, this had not been fated to be.

Elmo eyed Elwing with equal emotions displayed on his face, prompting Elu to lay an arm around his brother’s shoulders. So he had not met the baby, either. Elu had feared that.

Dior now placed a lamp onto the steps that lead up to the doors, a lamp that was oddly reminiscent of the lamps that they themselves carried, with the same light burning inside it, though surely… surely that must be a normal candle? Why then did it shine so strangely then? Elu glanced at Olórin, but the Maia only smiled mysteriously.

“Do you think they will come?” the boys now asked their father, having come to a halt at last.

Dior and Nimloth both smiled down at them, each ruffling one of the twin’s hair.

“’tis a human tale, Eluréd. But who knows? It seems wrong not to put out a lantern on this day, and it will most certainly do no harm. But whether they visit us or not, we can still remember them tonight, and hope that our love crosses the sea, and reaches them in Mandos. But let us go inside now. There is a feast waiting for us.”

With that, Dior turned to take his daughter out of his father-in-law’s arms.

“You must think this lantern so very foolish, and it surely is, as the idea of the spirits of the fallen revisiting us one more time on this day is a mortal fairytale, but…”

“Not at all!” Galathil hastened to reassure Dior. “I find it an adorable idea, an idea that… that is a light in this darkness. As are you, all of you.”

He bowed slightly before his daughter and son-in-law, a sight that greatly moved Elu. Elmo beside him made a noise that caused Elu to hold him tighter still, the touch nothing more than memory, but nonetheless comforting.

“Elu… they… they are waiting… for us.”

Elu nodded, words utterly failing them. So it most certainly seemed, but how was it that Men apparently knew what Elves did not? Did that mean that both kindreds, allnthree perhaps, were guided back on this day to the houses of their loved-ones, guided by the Light of Love? He glanced at Olórin, who nodded solemnly.

“So it is indeed. For mortal beings, this night is their farewell also from the confines of Arda. It has ever been so.”

Elmo sobbed helplessly as they watched the royal family step over the threshold at last and the doors being pulled shut behind them, and Elu cradled him, reaching out to grasp Mablung’s arm as well. There could be no doubt that toasts would be spoken to his name as well, and that the captain was no less gravely missed among his men than Elu was himself.

It was a mark of the depths of their friendship that Mablung chose to accompany them yet further, wandering the slopes of the Ered Luin, where in a secluded cave they found Galadriel and Celeborn, huddled together under warm furs and sleeping soundly. They had not awaited them, nor could they have, but neither Elmo nor Elu would pass over this farewell, even if seeing Elmo kneel beside Celeborn and stroke his hair with a ghostly hand before gently kissing Galadriel’s brow as well all but broke Elu’s heart.

“They will be safe.” Olórin assured them once they had torn themselves away from the sleeping couple once more. “Melian’s teaching shall come to bloom within Galadriel, and that and Celeborn’s wisdom will guide them both. Their time is as yet to come.”

Following the rushing Adurant down to Tol Galen was perhaps the hardest journey Elu had ever made, each step sending longing and dread through his being in equal measure. How was he to do this? Where from should he get the strength to lay eyes upon his girl once more, and far worse, to tear them away from her again?

Tol Galen lay still and silent in the moonlight, and though Elu knew the archers of the Greenelves must be perching in the trees, he did not see them. What Elu did see, however, was the selfsame light that now shone beside the gates of Menegroth, and a lone figure moving beside it. His heart clenched as they came closer to the door, and Elu realised that it was the lord of the house himself who stood beside the flickering lantern, a wooden shawl wrapped over his shoulders and his face lined with pain.

Without thinking that he could in truth not touch his son-in-law, he reached out, stoking his hair that had turned white as snow.

“You have grown old, Beren.” he said gently, and unlooked for tenderness spreading within him. Of course, Beren would not hear him, but the words had passed his lips almost unconsciously, naturally. All the greater the shock when Beren turned his head towards him, reaching up to run his hand through his hair where Elu had just touched him, so that their hands seemed to meet for a moment.

“Have you come to bid farewell to your little girl, Adar? I knew you would not keep her waiting.” he whispered into the darkness.

Elu stood as though struck by lightening, not knowing whether he was more deeply shaken by the fact that Beren seemed to sense his presence, or being called ‘father’ by the man he had sent to hell itself. He supposed that Beren doing as no Mortal had done before and returning from the dead may be an explanation for the former, but at the latter, Elu could but marvel in gratitude.

But then Beren turned away, shaking his head with a chuckle.

“And there I old fool am, still believing in children’s stories and talking to the night’s breeze. Ah well.”

“But I am here, Beren, I am, to say farewell to you both.”

His voice sounded pathetic even in his own ears, with his sobs rendering him all but incoherent.

The inside of the house was dark when Elu at last managed to drag himself through the door, and yet he saw Lúthien clearly, lying curled under her blankets. Glowing embers still warmed the room, and though Elu could not feel it on his ghostly skin, he felt it within his heart. She was safe. She was well. Nothing else was of any importance.

“Ada…”

Elu knew that she but mumbled in her sleep, that she had likely thought of him when she had put up her lantern tonight and now must dream, but there could be no doubt now that both Beren and Lúthien felt his presence, and oh, was this bliss and torment alike. Nonetheless, he crouched down beside her bed and carefully stroked her back.

“I am here, little one. Sleep on.”

He had no idea how he had left their house, or Tol Galen, or indeed Middle-Earth, only coming to again when the lights of Alqualondë were already visible in the darkness. Both Elmo and Mablung lead him as if he were a sleepwalker, and when he stirred and they realised that he was once again with them, they both sighed in relief.

“It was better like that, Elwë. Trust me.”

Elu bowed his head to Olórin, silently signalling his agreement.

Alqualondë was almost, almost worse than Tol Galen. Elu walked the streets of his brother’s fair city in wonder, trying with all his might to take in every detail of the harbour his brother’s people -his people- had built, marvelling at the beauty of it that was so different from his own halls in Menegroth, and yet so eerily similar.

They parted from Mablung there, as he went to seek out his own family to whom he had said goodbye on starlit shores, an eternity ago, while he and Elmo went to look for the king himself, finding him at last on his own balcony. The wind played in Olwë’s snow-white hair, mingling with his night-gown, a sight so fair, so achingly familiar, so pure.

Both Elu and Elmo rushed towards their long lost brother, hugging him, bestowing kiss after kiss on him, but Olwë took no notice. This hurt, yes, but it was also a relief to find him so calm and serene, standing there completely at ease, taking a cherished moment by the sea and under the stars that belonged to him alone, his mind untroubled- or as untroubled as the mind of a king could ever be. Olwë was well. And that was what mattered most in this moment, though how Elu was supposed to ever leave his side again now, he had no idea. He simply had no strength left for sny more goodbyes.

For how long they stood side by side with Olwë and watched the gushing waves, Elu did not know. Time behaved in the most peculiar way tonight, anyway. He only knew that at some point, Olórin stood by him once more.

“The night is late, and there is one more you still may want to meet, Elwë.” the Maia mumbled quietly.

He turned in amazement and an emotion that remarkably resembled fear. Surely not? Surely the farewells did not include Maiar? Elmo had sunken into a slumber with his head on Olwë’s shoulder, and with a last, wistful look at his brothers, Elu left to follow their guide. Could this really be?

“I shall answer the questions you have on your mind now, Elwë, rather than suffer them to eat away at the time you have left with your wife.” Olórin said quietly as Elu fell into step beside him, heading back to Lórien. ”Now, as you guessed, Melian knew nothing of the events of this night, nor will she know in the future. When Arien rises, she will be none the wiser, quite like you. But in this moment she knows, and she cannot bear to wait a moment longer.”

“Neither can I.” Elu rasped, feeling suddenly dizzy. Had he known, had he even thought… but then, had he known that he would be granted his farewell from Melian as well, he would not have put one foot in Middle-Earth, nay, not even Alqualondë, and there could never have been any closure. It was better the way it was, surely. Only why did ’better’ always have to hurt so much?

They found the way into each other’s arms blinded by tears, stumbling as if drunk with emotion. Nothing mattered to Elu as he found himself once more in the arms of his beloved, whose touch he could feel, spirits though they both were now. The bond of their marriage was stronger than the laws of life, stronger than death itself. Neither of them spoke a word, for words could never be enough, must always fall short of the vastness of their love and grief, so they held each other wordlessly instead, tightly enough to make it hurt.

This would be enough, Elu thought, if only he were allowed to remain so into all eternity. He longed for nothing, wanted nothing but to stay with his beloved, and he knew through their bond that she yearned for the same.

It was merciful that in the end they never knew of their renewed parting, that they still stood entwined in their embrace as Arien rose, and chased away the last remnants of the night, and with it all memory

[farfarawayinthelandof]

Hi! I saw you don’t have any miraculous stuff yet. Can I request a Marinette x f! reader. Reader is new to the school and quickly becomes her friend and Marinette doesn’t know how to react when she finds out reader has a crush on her. She realizes that she fell for reader while she was hanging out with Adrian. Please.

MARINETTE X FEM!READER ONESHOT

Thank you so much for your request(s)! I absolutely love this one.

fem!reader

warnings: none!

ੈ♡˳·˖✶

As the students of Francoise Dupont got into the routine of the new school year, there was a last minute transfer. That transfer being you, Y/N. You were full of excitement and nerves to finally be starting at a new school, thrilled to meet new friends, but also nervous, for fear of being left out. Your fears has faded away, however, when you met your new classmates, especially her.

Her being Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the class president tasked with showing you around for the day. She had a creative and talented personality, and a helping attitude, and every task, favor, and assignment never seemed to be a problem, or worry for her. You weren't sure if you wanted to be her, or with her.

By lunchtime, you had figured you wanted to be with her. You had also figured that half the class felt the same way, how could they not?

As you walked to the restroom at the end of lunch with Alya and Rose, about a week after you had first been introduced, they struck up a conversation about Marinette.

"You and Marinette are getting close? Should I have to watch my back so you don't replace me as her BFF?" Alya asks, with a light tone. Rose laughs.

You inhale sharply. "No! No, it's not like that! I would never! I-"

"Girl, relax." Alya laughs. You ease up a little bit. "I'm just teasing you. All the girls in our class are tight."

"Oh! That's nice to hear! I hope we can all be great friends."

Rose and Alya nod. "But anyway, about Marinette. You like her, don't you?" Rose asks.

'Was it that obvious?' You think woefully.

"I guess. But I know she likes Adrien." There was no point in hiding it. You trusted the two girls, and it was just a little crush.

Rose opens the door to the bathroom, holding it for you and Alya. As you thank the blonde, Alya speaks up. "I what it feels like to like someone who doesn't like you back. Nino used to have a crush on Marinette. Come to think of it, pretty much everyone in our class has had a crush on her at one point or another." Rose nods, laughing as she sprays some perfume on herself.

"Adrien?" You ask.

"That boy is absolutely clueless. His skull is *ahem* very thick. He's so dumb, for someone so smart." Alya says.

Rose agrees thoughtfully.

After your conversation with Alya and Rose, you return to your seat with newfound hope. Marinette must know Adrien is hopeless. Feeling bold, you come up with a plan.

ੈ♡˳·˖✶

Marinette had only known you for a few weeks, however, she had already felt a connection with you. She was really looking forward to becoming better friends.

On another note, Marinette had also made plans with Adrien later in the day. She had been looking forward to this project ever since she had been paired up with the young model.

Stopping at her locker, she noticed you walking towards her. You looked nervous. Had you forgotten your locker combination?

“Hey Marinette!” You said, voice masking the uncertainty you felt.

Marinette smiled, turning her attention towards you. “Hi, Y/N!”

“So, um… I was wondering - and I know this might be sudden - but I was wondering if you wanted to go out… together?”

To say Marinette had been taken aback would be an understatement. And while she liked the forwardness, Marinette had to turn you down. Who knows what could happen with Adrien tonight, even if he’s a bit clueless?

“Y/N. Listen, I… Uh, appreciate-”

You sigh. “Let me stop you right there. I understand. Hopefully we can still be good friends.”

Marinette sighed in relief. “Yeah, friends!”

You nodded towards Marinette, signaling goodbye. Well, you tried, right? And they say you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.

The ravenette couldn’t help but feel guilty as she walked to Adrien. Why were you the only thing going through her mind when Adrien was right there?

This question had repeated itself throughout Marinette’s head all afternoon.

Until she realized.

Marinette felt a connection with you she never had with anyone else. It was a deep admiration, but not putting you on a pedestal, no. She saw you as real, and attainable. Unlike Adrien.

“Hey, earth to Marinette! You look a bit pale..” Adrien says, confused.

“Heh, sorry Adrien.” How was she supposed to face you tomorrow? Somehow, Marinette knew she blew it.

‘Oh, I’m no good at love!’ Thought Marinette, woefully.

The next day, you greeted Marinette as usual. But she couldn’t help but want more. And you couldn’t, either. But what were you two to do? Wasn’t any chance you two would ever be together destroyed?

After school, it had begun to rain. You sighed in defeat. You didn’t have an umbrella, and your parent(s) were at work. There was no one to help you. You tried to ask Alya or Nino for a ride, but they already left before you could.

Damn.

“Hey, Y/N?” Said a timid voice.

You turned to find Marinette, sheltered by the school’s roof, standing behind you.

“Hi, Marinette!” You say cheerfully. You are doing your best to make sure that your confession doesn’t get in the way between you two.

“If you don’t have an umbrella, you can use mine” She said, smiling nervously.

“Oh no, I couldn’t. My parent(s) will be off soon, I can wait for them.”

“Please… or at least walk back to my house until you can get picked up.”

You struggle for a bit. That did sound like a good deal. Plus, you could show Marinette that you could be friends and not make it weird.

“Alright,” you say.

“Perfect!”

You and Marinette begin walking to her house, talking about all sorts of things, like new video games, the best ways to bake cookies, and current fashion trends. The conversation flows naturally, never leaving an awkward moment between the two of you.

Marinette now knew 100% that it was you, not Adrien that she liked. Everything with him felt forced, but with you, it was all natural, and so fun.

You both walked into the bakery, Marinette holding the door out for you while you walked in. You greeted Marinette’s parents having already met Tom at a school function.

Marinette walks you to her room where you both spend the afternoon playing video games and procrastinating homework.

It gets a little quiet after Marinette wins the match for the hundredth time, and she looks over to you.

“I’m… sorry. I hope my rejection didn’t make things awkward for us.”

You smiled, albeit fake, reassuringly. “No, no! It’s totally fine.” Not really sure what else to say, you stop there.

Marinette looks down at her hands. “The thing is, yesterday… when I was at Adrien’s house, I realized that I…”

Your internal dialogue was going crazy. ‘Oh my gosh, does she not want to be friends?! Doesn’t she want to be more than friends?! Please, spill it out!’

“… I really like you” Marinette finished.

Your head spins suddenly to face Marinette, giving you whiplash. You cannot believe what you just heard.

“You… do?” To be honest, you weren’t even 100% sure she liked girls.

Marinette nods.

But now… everything has changed. You smile to yourself.

“Cool”

“Cool?!”

“Yeah,” You say. “Let’s go out. Right now.”

“Right now?!”

“Yes!”

Grabbing your shoes in coat, with Marinette en suite, she grabs the black umbrella, and you both bid goodbye to her parents.

“Alright, where to first?” You ask her, laughing.

“I think I know just the place.”

“Well then, please,” you gesture your hand out to her. She grabs it. “Lead the way.”

I tried to not make this too long/dialogue heavy. I hope you liked it!

no beta, we're dying like men

[lokiondisneyplus]

'Loki' takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

Tom Hiddleston is Loki, and he is burdened with glorious purpose: After playing Thor's puckish brother for over a decade in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, no one understands the mercurial Asgardian God of Mischief as well as the actor. He can teach an entire seminar on Loki if given the opportunity — which he actually did during pre-production on his forthcoming Disney+ show. In conversation, Hiddleston quotes lines from his MCU debut, 2011's Thor, almost verbatim, and will playfully correct you if you mistakenly refer to Asgard's Rainbow Bridge as the Bifrost, which is the portal that connects Loki and Thor's homeworld to the Nine Realms, including Midgard, a.k.a. Earth. "Well, the Bifrost technically is the energy that runs through the bridge," he says with a smile. "But nine points to Gryffindor!" And when he shows up to the photo shoot for this very digital cover, he hops on a call with our photo editor to pitch ways the concept could be even more Loki, like incorporating the flourish the trickster does whenever magically conjuring something. The lasting impression is that playing Loki isn't just a paycheck.

"Rather than ownership, it's a sense of responsibility I feel to give my best every time and do the best I can because I feel so grateful to be a part of what Marvel Studios has created," the 40-year-old Brit tells EW over Zoom a few days after the shoot and a week out from Thor's 10th anniversary. "I just want to make sure I've honored that responsibility with the best that I can give and the most care and thought and energy."

After appearing in three Thor movies and three Avengers, Hiddleston is bringing that passion to his first solo Marvel project, Loki, the House of Ideas' third Disney+ series following the sitcom pastiche WandaVision and the topical The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Led by head writer Michael Waldron (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Heels), the six-episode drama sees Hiddleston's shapeshifting agent of chaos step out from behind his brother's shadow and into the spotlight for a timey-wimey, sci-fi adventure that aims to get to the bottom of who Loki really is. "I wanted to explore slightly more complex character questions," says Waldron. "It's not just good versus bad. Is anybody all good? Is anybody all bad? What makes a hero, a hero? A villain, a villain?"  

Even though Loki — who loves sowing mayhem with his illusion magic and shapeshifting, all with a major chip on his shoulder — has never been one for introspection, the idea of building an entire show around him was a no-brainer for Marvel. When asked why Loki was one of the studio's first Disney+ shows, Marvel president Kevin Feige replies matter-of-factly, "More Hiddleston, more Loki." First introduced as Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) envious brother in Kenneth Branagh's Thor, Loki went full Big Bad in 2012's The Avengers. That film cemented the impish rogue as one of the shared universe's fan favorites, thanks to Hiddleston's ability to make him deliciously villainous yet charismatic and, most importantly, empathetic. The character's popularity is one of the reasons he's managed to avoid death many times.

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

The Loki we meet on the show is not the one who fought the Avengers in 2012 and evolved into an antihero in Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok before meeting his demise at the hands of the mad titan Thanos (Josh Brolin) in 2018's Avengers: Infinity War. Instead, we'll be following a Loki from a branched timeline (a variant, if you will) after he stole the Tesseract following his thwarted New York invasion and escaped S.H.I.E.L.D. custody during the time heist featured in Avengers: Endgame. In other words, this Loki hasn't gone through any sort of redemption arc. He's still the charming yet petulant god who firmly believes he's destined to rule and has never gotten his due.

Premiering June 9, Loki begins with the Time Variance Authority — a bureaucratic organization tasked with safeguarding the proper flow of time — arresting the Loki Variant seen in Endgame because they want his help fixing all of the timeline problems he caused while on the run with the Tesseract. So there will be time travel, and a lot more of it than in Endgame. As Loki makes his way through his own procedural, he'll match wits with new characters including Owen Wilson's Agent Mobius, a brilliant TVA analyst, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw's Judge Renslayer. The question in early episodes is whether Loki will help them or take over.

"One of the things Kevin Feige led on was, 'I think we should find a way of exploring the parts of Loki that are independent of his relationship with Thor,' or see him in a duality or in relationship with others, which I thought was very exciting," says Hiddleston, who also serves as an executive producer on the show. "So the Odinson saga, that trilogy of films, still has its integrity, and we don't have to reopen it and retell it."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

Hiddleston can't believe how long he and Loki have been connected. "I've been playing this character for 11 years," he says. "Which is the first time I have said that sentence, I realize, and it [blows] my mind. I don't know what percentage that is exactly of my 40 years of being alive, but it's substantial."

His time as Loki actually goes a bit further back, to 2009 — a year after Robert Downey Jr. big banged the MCU into existence with Iron Man — when he auditioned for Thor. It's no secret that Hiddleston initially went in for the role of the titular God of Thunder, but Feige and director Kenneth Branagh thought his natural charm and flexibility as an actor made him better suited for the movie's damaged antagonist. "Tom gave you an impression that he could be ready for anything, performance-wise," says Branagh, who had previously worked with him on a West End revival of Checkov's Ivanov and the BBC series Wallander. "Tom has a wild imagination, so does Loki. He's got a mischievous sense of humor and he was ready to play. It felt like he had a star personality, but he was a team player."

Hiddleston fully immersed himself in the character. Outside of studying Loki's history in the Marvel Comics, he also researched how Loki and the Trickster God archetype appeared across mythology and different cultures. "He understood that he was already in something special [and] it was a special character in a special part of that early moment in the life of the Marvel universe where [he] also needed to step up in other ways," says Branagh, who was impressed by the emotional depth Hiddleston brought to the part, especially when it came to how isolated Loki felt in the Asgardian royal family.  

There was a lot riding on that first Thor feature. For one, no one knew if audiences would immediately latch onto a Shakespearean superhero movie partially set on an alien planet populated by the Norse Gods of legend. Second, it was integral to Feige's plans for the shared universe. Loki was supposed to be the main villain in The Avengers, which would not only mirror how Earth's mightiest heroes joined forces in 1963's Avengers #1 but also give Thor a believable reason for teaming up with Iron Man, Captain America (Chris Evans), and the rest of the capes. Feige first clued Hiddleston into those larger plans when the actor was in L.A. before Thor started shooting.

"I was like, 'Excuse me?' Because he was already three, four steps ahead," says Hiddleston. "That took me a few minutes to process, because I didn't quite realize how it just suddenly had a scope. And being cast as Loki, I realized, was a very significant moment for me in my life, and was going to remain. The creative journey was going to be so exciting."

Hiddleston relished the opportunity to go full villain in Avengers, like in the scene where Loki ordered a crowd to kneel before him outside a German opera house: "It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation," says the Machiavellian god. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

"I just knew that in the structure of that film, I had to lean into his role as a pure antagonist," Hiddleston recalls. "What I always found curious and complex about the way Loki is written in Avengers, is that his status as an antagonist comes from the same well of not belonging and being marginalized and isolated in the first Thor film. Loki now knows he has no place in Asgard."

Loki did find a place within the audience's hearts, though. Feige was "all in" on Hiddleston as his Loki from the beginning, but even he couldn't predict how much fans would love him. Feige recalls the reaction at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con: "Did we know that after he was the villain in two movies, he would be bringing thousands of people to their feet in Hall H, in costume, chanting his name? No, that was above and beyond the plan that we were hoping for and dreaming of." It was a dream Feige first got an inkling of a year earlier during the Avengers press tour when a Russian fan slipped past security, snuck into Mark Ruffalo's car, and asked the Hulk actor to give Hiddleston a piece of fan art she created. "That was one of the early signs there was much more happening with this quote-unquote villain."  

Despite that popularity, the plan was to kill Loki off in 2013's Thor: The Dark World, but the studio reversed course after test audiences refused to believe he actually died fighting the Dark Elves. Alas, he couldn't out-illusion death forever. After returning in Taika Waititi's colorful and idiosyncratic Thor: Ragnarok, Hiddleston's character perished for real in the opening moments of Infinity War. In typical Loki fashion, before Thanos crushed his windpipe, he delivered a defiant speech that indicated he'd finally made peace with the anger he felt toward his family.  

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.  

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

Credit: Charlie Gray for EW

When Hiddleston returned to film two scenes in Avengers: Endgame in 2017, he had no idea where Loki portaled off to after snatching the Tesseract. "Where'd he go? When does he go? How does he get there? These are all questions I remember asking on the day, and then not being given any answers," Hiddleston recalls. To be fair, it's likely the Powers That Be didn't necessarily have answers then. While Feige can't exactly recall when the writers' room for Endgame first devised Loki's escape sequence, he does know that setting up a future show wasn't the primary goal — because a Loki series wasn't on the horizon just yet.

"[That scene] was really more of a wrinkle so that one of the missions that the Avengers went on in Endgame could get screwed up and not go well, which is what required Cap and Tony to go further back in time to the '70s," says Feige. Soon after that, though, former Disney CEO Bob Iger approached Feige about producing content for the studio's forthcoming streaming service. "I think the notion that we had left this hanging loose end with Loki gave us the in for what a Loki series could be. So by the time [Endgame] came out, we did know where it was going."

As for Hiddleston, he didn't find out about the plans for a Loki show until spring 2018, a few weeks before Infinity War hit theaters. "I probably should not have been surprised, but I was," says the actor. "But only because Infinity War had felt so final."

Nevertheless, Hiddleston was excited about returning for his show. He was eager to explore Loki's powers, especially the shapeshifting, and what it meant that this disruptive figure still managed to find a seat beside the gods in mythology. "I love this idea [of] Loki's chaotic energy somehow being something we need. Even though, for all sorts of reasons, you don't know whether you can trust him. You don't know whether he's going to betray you. You don't why he's doing what he's doing," says Hiddleston. "If he's shapeshifting so often, does he even know who he is? And is he even interested in understanding who he is? Underneath all those masks, underneath the charm and the wit, which is kind of a defense anyway, does Loki have an authentic self? Is he introspective enough or brave enough to find out? I think all of those ideas are all in the series — ideas about identity, ideas about self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and the difficulty of it."

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

The thing that truly sold Hiddleston on the show was Marvel's decision to include the Time Variance Authority, a move he describes as "the best idea that anybody had pertaining to the series." Feige and Loki executive producer Stephen Broussard had hoped to find a place for the TVA — an organization that debuted in 1986's Thor #372 and has appeared in She-Hulk and Fantastic Four stories — in the MCU for years, but the right opportunity never presented itself until Loki came along. "Putting Loki into his own procedural series became the eureka moment for the show," says Feige.  

The TVA's perspective on time and reality also tied into the themes that Waldron, Loki's head writer, was hoping to explore. "Loki is a character that's always reckoning with his own identity, and the TVA, by virtue of what they do, is uniquely suited to hold up a mirror to Loki and make him really confront who he is and who he was supposed to be," says Waldron. Hiddleston adds: "[That] was very exciting because in the other films, there was always something about Loki that was very controlled. He seemed to know exactly what the cards in his hand were and how he was going to play them…. And Loki versus the TVA is Loki out of control immediately, and in an environment in which he's completely behind the pace, out of his comfort zone, destabilized, and acting out."

To truly dig into who Loki is, the creative team had to learn from the man who knows him best: Hiddleston. "I got him to do a thing called Loki School when we first started," says director Kate Herron. "I asked him to basically talk through his 10 years of the MCU — from costumes to stunts, to emotionally how he felt in each movie. It was fantastic."

Hiddleston got something out of the Loki school, too. Owen Wilson both attended the class and interviewed Hiddleston afterward so that he could better understand Loki, as his character Mobius is supposed to be an expert on him. During their conversation, Wilson pointedly asked Hiddleston what he loved about playing the character.

"And I said, 'I think it's because he has so much range,'" says Hiddleston. "I remember saying this to him: 'On the 88 keys on the piano, he can play the twinkly light keys at the top. He can keep it witty and light, and he's the God of Mischief, but he can also go down to the other side and play the heavy keys. And he can play some really profound chords down there, which are about grief and betrayal and loss and heartbreak and jealousy and pride.'" Hiddleston recalls Wilson being moved by the description: "He said, 'I think I might say that in the show.' And it was such a brilliant insight for me into how open Owen is as an artist and a performer.'"

Owen Wilson as Mobius and Tom Hiddleston as Loki in 'Loki.'| Credit: Chuck Zlotnick/Marvel Studios

Everyone involved is particularly excited for audiences to see Hiddleston and Wilson's on-screen chemistry. "Mobius is not unlike Owen Wilson in that he's sort of nonplussed by the MCU," says Feige. "[Loki] is used to getting a reaction out of people, whether it's his brother or his father, or the other Avengers. He likes to be very flamboyant and theatrical. Mobius doesn't give him the reaction he's looking for. That leads to a very unique relationship that Loki's not used to."

As for the rest of the series, we know that Loki will be jumping around time and reality, but the creative team isn't keen on revealing when and where. "Every episode, we tried to take inspiration from different things," says Waldron, citing Blade Runner's noir aesthetic as one example.

"Part of the fun of the multiverse and playing with time is seeing other versions of characters, and other versions of the titular character in particular," says Feige, who also declined to confirm if Loki ties into Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and/or other upcoming projects.

Making Loki was especially meaningful to Hiddleston because they shot most of it during the pandemic, in late 2020. "It will remain one of the absolute most intense, most rewarding experiences of my life," he says. "It's a series about time, and the value of time, and what time is worth, and I suppose what the experience of being alive is worth. And I don't quite know yet, and maybe I don't have perspective on it, if all the thinking and the reflecting that we did during the lockdown ended up in the series. But in some way, it must have because everything we make is a snapshot of where we were in our lives at that time."

While it remains to be seen what the future holds for Loki beyond this initial season, Hiddleston isn't preparing to put the character to bed yet. "I'm open to everything," he says. "I have said goodbye to the character. I've said hello to the character. I said goodbye to the character [again]. I've learned not to make assumptions, I suppose. I'm just grateful that I'm still here, and there are still new roads to explore."

[theperfectlovestory]

You Are My Home

I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE

Information: This will probably have multiple parts but stand alone (?) I'm a bit nervous to post this cause this is a more personal uhh imagines 😂

Summary: It's been a long time since your friends saw you, a lot has change and you are in a better place in your life. Specially the relationship part

Pairings: Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

Theme: fluff

TW: none (?)

Word Count: 2,241

"Hey guys" you greeted, giving a small smile to your friends. It's been a long time since you all had the chance to talk together

Everyone has been busy and since you left your original city 2 years ago, the best you can do is chat with them once in a while

You are confident that the relationship with them is strong but you are sure many things have changed. But change is good, specially since you left with heavy heart and full of uncertainty

Right now you are in a good position in your life, and everyone is free, or at least made sure to make time. But still, the best you can do is video call for now

After 2 years this is the first time you've seen everyone. While they keep in touch and get together once in a while. You just were too far, both physically and mentally

"Hey, long time no see" Steve teased and you chuckled

"Damn you look good" Natasha commented "been taking care of yourself, I see"

You made a face and nodded "happy now I finally hit the gym like you always nag me to?" She chuckled

"Hey, just want you healthy"

"I know, thank you. Your voice is actually what pushed me in training" you leaned on the table, placing your cheeks on your knuckles "I can just hear you berating me for being so weak"

Everyone chuckled, agreeing that she does do that

"But in all seriousness, you look happy" Bucky complimented

Sighing, you nodded, finally at the position in your life where you can actually see yourself having a bright future

"I am, finally got my shit together, mostly at least"

The topic then transferred to your other friends, enjoying their presence even just from the screen. Laughing together just like the old times

"(Y/n)?" You turn your head to the voice, your girlfriend, Elizabeth calling for you coming from the second floor

"Darling, I'm in the dining" you answered and immediately heard footsteps

Without looking at the screen of your laptop, she smiled, excitedly tilt your head by your chin, kissing you deeply

Every one of your friends are stunned. Of course, you never showed them any public display, not like you had the chance anyway since you never really pursued anyone for years you were with them and now here you are kissing Elizabeth Olsen

Very famous actress, part of big filming companies, a producer as well

"Damn (Y/n)..." Natasha whispered and you laughed when Lizzie finally realized you were actually on a video call

"Oh no, sorry baby" she said wiping your mouth and hers with her sleeves, you shake your head to stop her

"You're fine, or not. But Lizzie, meet my friends" you gestured on the screen and Lizzie shyly waved at them. Blush dusting her cheeks as she pursed her lips into a decent smile. Your taste still lingering on her mouth

They said a quick hi to be polite then suddenly spoke all at once berating you for not telling them you are dating "the Elizabeth Olsen". The actress, the girl of your dreams

Then it was your turn to blush when Bucky mentioned that she's the reason you never had any interest in other people. She was just too 'shiny' to you, the other just seemed dull

Elizabeth looked at you with new found love in her eyes as you got bullied by your friends. She can't help but give you a quick kiss on the cheek before apologizing for interrupting your moment with them again

"Oh no, you did not interrupt at all. We probably wouldn't even know she's dating if you didn't come" Tony said and everyone told him to shut up

"It's not like how it sounds, Ms. Olsen. (Y/n) is very proud of you, she just really doesn't like speaking about her relationships" Peter explained and Elizabeth chuckled

"Oh I know, that's why we are not in public anyway" she patted your head "but it's okay. I don't want to drag her in the mess of Hollywood so if you can just keep all this between us" she gave everyone a small smile and they either shrugged or nodded

"No problem" Natasha answered "I'll make sure these idiots don't slip up"

Elizabeth gave them a big smile before she left to get breakfast. Once she is gone though they started attacking you with questions again

"Fine fine" you sighed, finally giving up "we met a few months after I left, I applied to the Marvel Studio as set decorator. I was fixing up the set the night before with a bunch of my coworkers so the shooting will proceed with ease. I'm usually just there at night so when she came looking for her phone, which I actually picked up and was planning to give to the lost and found before leaving, they pointed her to me. I gave it to her, she thanked me and that was it'' you shrugged

"Then how did you two got together"

Pursing your lips, knowing they wouldn't stop anyway you told them

It was the wrap up of the filming for Endgame. The biggest movie you will ever work with if you are honest

A bunch of A-listers are there and a lot of demands have to be met so for the first time, the whole movie you had to be in and out of the sets. You barely slept or ate in the past few months. You apartment even collected dust since all you did there is go home, take a shower, then go out

You mostly slept on set. By the end of the filming your body is screaming for rest. But you kept going anyway. This project is a very big deal for you, specially you lead the look of the set. anything that needs to be changed, moved, removed, added to the set goes through you

So basically, all day you stand in front of the set, watching the designers work their magics and you requesting changes, assessing the atmosphere in pre production and etc. and at night, clean up and set up is a bitch

One morning you were so tired you wanted to pass out there and then when Elizabeth enter the area. She was shooting all her parts today that can be soloed

You tried to keep yourself awake and alert to anything and everything so when you noticed an uneven ramp and props that she will unfortunately stepped on, your body started running before your mind can comprehend what's happening

She let out a squeal when she broke her ankle and fall but before she hit the ground and risk further injuries on her wrist that is sure to break her fall, you were catching her

But your body felt so weak that instead of staying up right, she fell on you. At least she wasn't hurt at any part of her body but you were, you hit your head on impact but it was minor

If ever, it only made you dizzy

She stood up and you did as well. You rubbed your hand on your face, ordering staffs to re-arrange and clean up the set so no more obstacle can cause accidents

You didn't even dare look at her eyes knowing those green orbs will suck your life out of you. You asked her if she's okay, also apologizing for the dangerous set up. It was overlooked that she would be indeed walking in heels, boots but heels nevertheless

"It's fine, I'm fine" she said, smiling but her eyes are full of worry "are you though? You hit your head when you broke my fall" she said, even unconsciously touching it

"Uh yeah..." you awkwardly smiled at her "it doesn't hurt, thanks" you then slowly back away. When the props have been arrange, the shooting started but your body felt so weak you had to call your assistant to cover for you

You went to the area where you always rested and slept. You were out for almost 2 hours when a cough woke you up. You sat up, rubbing your eyes and ask what they need without even looking at them

"I...brought you food, and coffee" your head snapped, looking at the voice you only dream of talking . She had a small and awkward smile and shy look in her eyes directed to you

"I was looking for you where you usually stand but noticed you weren't there" she explained, your face obviously gave your confusion away "I wanted to thank you again, the stunt director said that if it weren't for you, I would most likely break my wrist in that fall"

You slowly nodded, giving her a small smile "well, it was our fault for not triple checking the set"

"No no, please don't do that, accidents happen, I'm just here to thank you. It was me being clumsy too" You look at her with newfound admiration, a firm believer of 'never meet your idol, it will disappoint you'. But it wasn't the case with her at all

You are aware of the rumors that she's actually very kind, down to earth and serious with her job. It's a good rumor considering she is well known and if you are honest, you know deep in your heart it is true, but you never get your hopes up high

If only you met in a different circumstance, maybe you would think of trying to flirt a little but you know your place. This is a work situation and you need to be as professional as you can be. She is still an actress after all, you need to respect her space

It doesn't mean that she is being kind to you, it's an invitation to step into that space of hers. So you muster the most professional smile you can

"Well thanks, it's really no problem" you said with indifference and if you are actually not too much in your head, you will see her frown with the change of tone

She then handed you the food and the coffee "I'd actually like to talk more again sometimes" she said, swallowing the tightness in her throat "maybe for a coffee?"

The invitation did wonders in your body. Your heart is just beating a tad bit faster, your stomach filled with butterflies, your cheeks turning red. All the cliché reactions you can feel, it's there but then you moved and you groaned, your body sore from over work

You were so sure you wanted to say yes, but your body clearly wanted to say no. After this shooting, you just want to drop dead in your apartment and maybe wake up 3 months after

"I'm just so tired recently, I will be no fun" you chuckled, exhaustion dripping on every syllable "but hey, maybe a few weeks after the filming is done, if you are still up for it?"

The sadness of rejection from earlier was turned into a big grin. Her excitement sparkled on her eyes "sure, I'd give you my number then"

You nodded and gave her your phone. She didn't even have to ask for a password because you never put one in. It's easier since you give your phone to your assistants all the time to contact people for updates on props shipments and other business related matter

She excitedly tapped her number, saving it as 'Scarlet Witch' and that made you giggle. Using her screen name that's not even canon yet

"Okay, Scarlet Witch, I'll call you when I finally get some well deserve hibernation, then maybe I'll be more fun to talk to than a usual" She laughed and nodded and you are so sure you can never be more in love with her voice

She then said a few more things before leaving you to rest. You thanked her again for the food and coffee before she disappeared

"I can't believe you almost rejected her" Steve said wide eyed "she's like, your dream woman"

"Oh I can" Natasha said "(Y/n) doesn't hit uncertain, have you ever played with her on anything? All her hits are aces!"

"But it's like the chance of a lifetime!"

"Yeah! That's why you make sure you attack when you know it will hit!"

The two started bickering and you all just watched, laughing at their same old antics. Elizabeth then walk to your side, offering you a fruit bowl for breakfast, you thanked her and then invited her to seat besides you and she did, you kissed her off camera

"What was that?" She chuckled but tried to catch your lips again when you pulled away, you giggled at her pouty face

"Nothing, just suddenly can't believe I'm actually dating you" she sighed, giving you a small smile

"You might think that you're the lucky one but it's actually me" she said, pressing a hand on your cheeks and squeezing it lightly "you make my life whole, (Y/n), you filled the space in my heart where money or popularity cannot"

"And you picked up and fixed my broken pieces" you countered, leaning on her hand that's now just slowly rubbing your cheeks

"I guess we are both lucky then"

"Yeah"

Your eyes both glint the same way. Feeling like you finally found where you belong, in each other. You are home

[connieshusband]

Fucking hate you, love to fuck you

Hate sex

Oikawa x fem!reader

"fuck you!" "Is that a promise?"

4k

reader was the captain and ace of the girls team, reader goes to Aoba Josai, reader is also Kag's cousin

Degradation, Slight Feminization Kink, Praise Kink, Fluffy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'm not very good at writing smut, I also got tired while writing so its short... sorry, Sir Kink: but very minor, no beta we die like men

-cross posted on my ao3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31932412

MINORS DNI

Summary:

You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.

And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.

___

Degration as well as any kink should have the full consent of all parties involved every time!!

I'm not very good at e2l so be gentle 🤩

I'm such a simp lmao

Oikawa could never figure out why you hated him when you both entered your first year of high school. Having come from a different middle school than you, he figured you'd be like the rest of the people in your grade level and fall all over him.

He wanted to ask why you had such a large stick up your ass during your first group project but chickened out. He assumed you'd at least get along as you were captain of the girls volleyball team and known for your powerful spikes. The setter in him really wanted to find out your perfect toss.

But it wasn't until your 3rd year when he came to despise you too.

He'd overheard you telling your best friend that your cousin made it onto his high schools volleyball team. Being the nosey Nelly that he is, he made the mistake of asking which school your cousin attended.

"Karasuno," you said, your chest puffed out.

It clicked: the black hair, intense expression, the last name even. He could practically see his protégé in the reflection of your eyes. He mentally slapped himself for not seeing it sooner.

His eyes narrowed, matching yours as tension of your silent beat down had to be cut by Iwazumi.

_____

You set down your suitcase, giving your aunt a big hug as she greeted you in the doorway. You give Tobio a fist bump as he helps you carry your things into the spare bedroom.

Your aunt had graciously allowed you to stay with her so you could be closer to school for your final year.

"I can't believe you're dropping volleyball club just as I'm about to join," Tobio whined, setting a suitcase on a chair in the corner of the room.

"I know," you said sullenly. You hadn't wanted to, but being captain and a 3rd year just wasn't going to be practical. Not being the best student, you thought it would be a wise decision.

Having always been close your your cousin on your dad's side came with its perks, including but not limited to drama. Ever since Tobio had joined volleyball in middle school he'd talked about Oikawa, usually brushing off some of the down right nasty things he'd said. But you hadn't. You took it upon yourself to help him train harder and harder to be able to defeat his bully when he'd found out he couldn't attend Aoba Josai with you.

Being an ace had its advantages when teaching Tobio about different techniques on how to set up a spiker best. Often gossiping about the smug bastard as you worked.

Of course, there was no escaping the pretty boy at school either. When your best friend, Ryu, had started dating his best friend Iwaizumi, being the 3rd and 4th wheel at hangouts became increasingly awkward.

And even worse when she mentioned your current math grade. Damn that ginger setter. And Mr. Perfect boasting about his grades to you. Which had lead you to your current situation.

Sitting in his bedroom.

Listening to him drawl on and on with rapidly decreasing interest.

While he looked hot as fuck.

What?!

With new found annoyance you scoffed at him snapping his fingers in your face.

"earth to y/n, I know I'm ravishing, but now it's math time." He said, a smirk decorating his lips.

“I ignored you on purpose, dumbass. Don't you get that I hate you?"

"I'm not asking you to stay, besides this has nothing to do with me?? Its calculus..."

"narcissist," you mumbled under your breath.

"must be your type," he shot back, "gawking at me for the last hour."

"aren't you dating whats-her-face from English?" You retorted, feeling your face heat up.

"yeah??" he said, confused.

You mocked his confusion, ""yeah" God, then stop flirting with me."

He scoffed, an eyebrow disappearing into bangs, "you must be a narcissist if you think I'm flirting with you because wow, it almost like I can't stand the sight of you, y/n," he rolled his eyes in disgust, sitting up in his chair indignantly.

You push him back into his chair, turning on your heels, saying nothing more.

"good!! I was going to kick you out anyway!"

____

You notice his current girlfriend wasn't hanging out with him at lunch nor sitting in his lap during English. In fact. He hadn't found new arm candy by the time your next session rolled around the following week.

___

After begrudgingly agreeing to do another tutoring session and making him promise no funny business, that rule was broken when he had his sleeves rolled up of his blue silk shirt, he glasses laying forgotten on the table, fingers rubbing his tired eyes as he tried to explain a difficult problem to you.

How could Tooru Oikawa be so fucking sexy and such a fucking dick at the same time?

Asking myself this a lot while writing

"fuck you, Oikawa! I don't need your bullshit!"

"fine! Fucking go then!" Giving you a light shove towards the door.

You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.

And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.

You shoved him against his bed, your own smugness drinking up his moan.

You pulled your tank top off as you climbed on top of him. "You have condoms?" You asked, cringing at your breathless voice.

He flipped your position, hot breath fanning your ear, "don't you want to be filled with my cum, baby?"

Rolling your eyes, you flipped the position again, "the last thing the world needs is more of you running around."

He considered it before saying with a shrug "top drawer."

Leaning over, your legs still gripping his hips, you pulled out a condom wrapper and tossed it at his face. His nose scrunching cutely.

"pull some weight, lazykawa," you said, yanking his pants and underwear to his ankles. He was already fully hard and you took great satisfaction in wordlessly teasing him.

Trying to ignore you, a blush creeping up around his ears as he hurriedly rolling the condom onto his thick length, as you remove your bra. He flips your position once more, hovering over you, a taunting smirk plastered over his lips.

"can't go 10 minutes without getting your greedy pussy fucked?"

"Can't that mouth do anything besides half-assed insults, Shittykawa?" You mocked, he raised a cheeky eye brow at you.

He lowered his face to you heat, "want to find out?" You grip his hair harshly and shove his face between your thighs.

He rips off you panties and eagerly laps around your cunt before catching himself, slowing his ministrations.

He gripped your thighs as he buried his face in your heat. Alternating between sucking in your clit and finger fucking you, never letting you get both at the same time.

You bit your tongue, doing your best to avoid begging for more - a futile endeavor.

"C'mon babygirl, I know you want it," he sing-songed

You swallowed your pride, "please Tooru."

"sorry couldn't hear you, your legs were busy clamping around my ears.

Your legs shook in frustration and pleasure as he lazily drummed his finger on your sweet spot.

He leaned overtop of you, sucking harshly in your neck as his other hand massages your ass.

"please, Tooru! Please sir!"

"oo~" he remarks, returning between your legs, 3 fingers entering you suddenly as he nibbled along your thigh, quickly returning to sucking on your clit.

You come hard and without warning.

"delicious," he remarks, sitting up and licking his fingers clean, "and so many lewd noises too."

"You have a knack for bringing out the worst in people," you attempt to sound threatening but only succeeding in boosting his ego.

"Oh no~ I hate to find out what the best would be..." He unbuttons his blue silk shirt, allowing you to drink up the full show of his abs. "Not talking so big now, eh, Kageyama?"

You scowl at him before grunting a "just fuck me already".

"don't mind if I do."

You connected your lips with his, enjoying the noises he made as his neglected cock became engulfed in your warmth.

Neither of you lasted long.

He emptied himself into the rubber with a sexy grunt lining up with your moan.

After care he collapsed on top of you, his deep breaths matching yours.

Your hands still resting on his back, feeling scratches from your nails decorating his skin.

He had pressed his forehead to yours, you looked up to meet his eyes which were flitting between the purple marks on your neck and your eyes.

He hadn't held your gaze for more than a second when the realization of what just happened hit both of you at once. Pushing your bodies apart, you shamefully picked up your clothes from the floor leaving the room quickly.

____

It had been weeks since that day. You hadn't gone back for another tutoring session, claiming to Ryu that your grades had improved.

The free time had allowed you to be a better supporter for your cousin, getting a chance to meet his teammates and his friends.

You meet Karasuno's Ryu and think to yourself how well he and your Ryu would get along

While hanging out with your cousin at the spring tournament, you were enjoying a lunch break with a vibrant ginger, his best friend Hinata and a mutual friend with spiky hair. Bokuto, you had learned, was in your year and had a ton in common with you.

Maybe you'd gotten carried away returning his flirty looks and laughing a little too hard at his jokes. He remarked often how different your personality was from your cousin. After exchanging numbers to practice volleyball sometime (him being excited to practice with another captain/ace) an unfortunately familiar voice pulled you away from your fun.

"y/n?"

"what?" You roll your eyes, at Oikawa. You knew he had been watch you and the rest of Karasuno after they had win their first game. Beside you, you can feel the 3 boys, especially Tobio fuming.

"I have a question about the math assignment."

"I'm busy."

"too bad."

Recognizing that he wasn't going to go away until you give in, you stand up, brushing the dust from your bottoms. He leads the way out of sight from your new friends.

He harshly pushes you against the wall, "what do you think you're doing princess?"

You flip your position, he winced as his back connects with the concrete wall. "You ask you the same thing, princess."

His hand instinctively wrapped around your muscular arm submissively.

"you like that don't you?" You asked.

He nervously glanced around him for on lookers. Luckily he'd chosen a pretty secluded spot

"wouldn't want your fan girls to see you being treated like the pretty white you are?" You smirked.

He nodded shyly.

You grabbed his ass, earning a submissive squeak from him.

"such a good princess, getting his flat ass groped," you smile, you see him swallow a moan as his eyes flutter shut.

You begin painfully slowly palming him through his shorts, feeling him grow under you.

"I hope you lose," you whisper sensually into his ear.

He scowls at you as you pull away completely. Leaving him hard, exposed, and blushing as you return to your new friends.

______

The cheers from Karasuno's supporters hadn't quieted down as the team packed up. Still high on adrenaline and pride for your baby cousin, you took the time to use the bathroom before the long drive home.

Rounding the corner you heard voices, recognizing one to be Oikawa and the other belonging to a deep voiced man.

Sneaking a peak your eyes go wide. He was face to face with Ushiwaka. The former not fairing well in the conversation. You didn't think a man could look for upset than the way Oikawa looked right now.

As the conversation comes to a close, you wait until Oikawa has gone out if sight to chase after him. Accidentally running into Ushiwaka.

"sorry" you mumble, attempting to move past.

"you're with karasuno, yes?" Ushiwaka asks.

Your mind didn't really register him, instead giving him a quick pat on the shoulder and a "that's great, buddy," as you run after the brunette.

Hearing an "I look forward to playing them." In the distance.

"Hey!"

He was too far ahead to really hear you, pushing past the front doors.

"HEY!" You yell, nearly at his heels. You stand in the doorway breathing hard, "TOORU!"

He turns to face you, Iwaizumi annoyed that he can't convince their captain to just get on the bus already.

You beckon him over and he skeptically approaches you.

"here to gloat?" He asks, his voice lacking the usual sharpness.

"Tobio is staying at Hinata's tonight and my aunt is out is town for the next two days," you say.

You see the cogs working as he pieces together what you're offering. His mouth forming an 'o' shape as he realizes.

You smile smugly before running back to where Karasuno's bus is parked, giving Tobio a running jump hug, which he awkwardly returned.

__

If nothing else, Oikawa was punctual. Arriving at exactly at 7:30. You hadn't done anything special, just heated up 2 frozen pizzas that your aunt had left. Watching his form as he quietly ate his 3 cheese. He hadn't said a word besides "thank you" after you'd served him. While yes, apart of you meant when you'd said that you hoped he lose but the guilt of seeing the cocky bastard looking so small on the other side of the table, nibbling on the crust. Pity maybe?

"You played really we-"

His eyes were red, his pride keeping him from crying in front of you. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You want to have sex?"

he hesitated before asking, "can we be nice?"

You nodded. Making your way to his chair, straddling his hips and cupping his face. You kissed him slow and deliberate. You don't kiss long before you start to feel his dick springing to life. You stand up pulling him, walking backwards, towards your room accidentally walking into the partially open door.

"Graceful," he commented, a hint of his salty tone under his words as he resumed kissing you.

You grinded against each other for a few moments, drinking in each others moans. You pulled away momentarily, his cheeks dusted pink, breathing heavy, his dick straining in his pants.

"You're so beautiful," you said. He blushed harder, his cock twitching in it's confines. Your fingers dip under the waistband of his pants and pull them down, licking your lips when his cock hits his stomach. You're about to press your lips to his tip when you feel pressure on your forehead.

"y-you don't have to..." he says. You cock your head to one side, your lips parted as you gaze up at him. "I-I get it you know... I don't hold it against you..."

"I want to," you say, "if you want me to."

He nods slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he enters your warm mouth.

Out of all the sex you'd had, this moment with Tooru didn't feel like sex. It felt like making love.

After he got close, you popped your mouth off and had ridden him. His muscles still sore from his games. Your lips danced with his as his hips met yours. Both of you reaching your climax simultaneously.

Tired in the best way, you cuddle up to his bare chest, kissing his cheek, "don't think this means I like you, flatass."

"of course," he says, relaxing into your touch.

"good."

"it was the fact that my dick was down your throat that made be think that."

You punch him in the ribs, earning an 'ouch' followed by a quiet, "let me have one win today." Followed by an even quieter "sorry" from you.

You place a gentle kiss on his cheek again before returning to your snuggle position. He wraps his arms around your waist as you both drift off to sleep.

______

It's been a number of days and neither if you had spoken about it. You wanted to text him a simple 'good morning' but the image of him quietly shuffling out of your room at the crack of dawn when he thought you were still sleeping, placing a gentle kiss on your temple. You didn't want to seem too eager or somehow let on that not only were you awake but had enjoyed when he'd done it.

After the girls had lost to Fukurodani's girls in the semi finals, Ryu had insisted on dragging you out to play volleyball with her and some 'friends'. You secretly hope it's the other girls from your team. You find yourself not disappointed that it's Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

"Warm up 'Yama!" Oikawa yells at you, serving the ball in your direction as you and Ryu approach.

Caught off guard for a moment, you return the ball back at him, hitting his face lightly with an oof.

Of course, Ryu wanted to set for her boyfriend, leaving you with Oikawa.

You made a pretty good team, he picked up your style quickly, the ball exactly where you wanted it without having to tell him anything. Not to mention that Oikawa had racked up a third of the points on service aces alone, Iwaizumi finally adjusting to being on the receiving end on them. He and Ryu had made a magnificent comeback, clearly having practiced with each other before. You were lucky if you could get a piece of one of Iwa's spikes, Tooru faired better but they quickly took the lead. You grab Oikawa's arm, causing him to look at you curiously.

"set it to me, but I'll set it back. You spike it," you said, finishing your sentence by looking at him.

He considers it.

"break it up love birds!" Iwa shouted at you. Ryu making obnoxious kissing noises behind him. You quickly let go of his arm to flip her off, causing her to burst out laughing.

Iwa serves.

"it's mine!" Tooru yells. Mid jump, he faces you, the subtlest of winks as the ball flies into the air.

Smiling, you angle your body for a spike, Ryu taking the bait, but at the last moment, your hand sent the ball perpendicular to the net, straight into Oikawa's hand. The ball whizzing past Iwa's ear.

The adrenaline getting the better of you as you both embrace, celebrating a successful kill.

You revel in you best friend and her stoic boyfriend exchanging a bewildered look.

At the end of the game Oikawa offers to drive you home, when out of the way of prying eyes, he leans against his car. "Before your cousin goes to nationals, he and shorty should play against us."

"Yeah and maybe Tobio can set for me one round," you say, playing with the hem of his shirt, "but if there's any funny business from you, I'm calling it off."

"Who, me??" he jokes, aware of his history with your family.

You don't respond, opting to gently press your lips to his. He returns the kiss, cupping your face.

________________

Did I write myself into the story? ┐( ∵ )┌ Maybe a little...

I'm also not opposed to doing a part two, so lemme know in the comments ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Also not me writing my first Haikyuu fic be Oikawa when I wanna break his knees 🥴🤚 (couldn't resist tho he's been on my mind, especially with glasses 🥵🤒)

Also also not me writing this from 1:30 am to 8am then had half my work deleted so I had to redo it the following night 🤪👈

[jaehyunfirstlove]

May I request a LDR au with idol!jaehyun where reader studies overseas and both of them attempt to bond with each other? Thank you❤️

Pairing: long distance bf!jaehyun x f.reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: ngl anon, i had no idea what 'LDR' stood for so i had to ask a friend (props to @jaehyunnie77 for educating me lol), anyway, hope you like it!

“I’m not ready to start dating again, hyung,” Jaehyun sighed, appreciative of Doyoung’s concern but still trying to overcome his heartbreak.

“It’s not dating! Just talking! I just think it would help if you had friends, outside of us, to talk to,” Doyoung clarified, patting Jaehyun on the back soothingly.

“Why does it sound like a setup, though?” Jaehyun smiled, and Doyoung just chuckled.

“Sorry, So-hyun has been bugging me to introduce you two. She thinks you’ll hit it off.”

Jaehyun chewed on his lip, clearly torn between polite propriety, and his own mixed emotions. “I really don’t know…”

“Listen,” Doyoung put a hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder, “just exchange a couple of pleasantries so I can get So-hyun off my back, okay?”

Jaehyun laughed. “Sure, I can do that. Give her my number.”

---

You sighed inwardly when you got a message from a family friend, saying she wanted to introduce you to someone. You didn’t know why she would bother setting you up with someone while you were studying abroad, but you assumed she figured the long distance thing wouldn’t be a problem. Feeling pressured, you accepted, and sent off your first message.

Me: Hello, this is Y/N, So-hyun’s friend

You put your phone down, not expecting a response right away considering the time difference, but to your surprise your phone buzzed almost right away.

Jaehyun: Hello Y/N, it’s nice to meet you :)

It was just one line, and one emoji, but for whatever reason you were intrigued.

Me: Oh! I didn’t expect a response right away! Isn’t it the middle of the night there? Sorry to bother you

Jaehyun: No bother at all, I was up anyway

Jaehyun: How are you doing?

Me: I’m doing okay, just finished exams so I can rest for a little bit

Me: how are you? Why are you up so late? Sorry for all the questions

Jaehyun: I don’t mind the questions :)

Jaehyun: I’m glad you’re done exams, what are you studying?

Jaehyun: I’m doing okay as well, just tired from practice

Jaehyun: it’s also why I’m still awake, I always find it hard to sleep after a tough day

You felt bad for him, you knew how hard it was to function on very little sleep. So-hyun hadn’t told you much about him, just that he was an idol, but you didn’t follow the industry so you didn’t know much about it.

Me: Oh! That’s awful! You should try drinking chamomile tea, I find that always helps me relax enough to fall asleep

Me: and I’m studying architecture :)

Jaehyun: oh thanks I’ll try it! I’ll try anything at this point

Jaehyun: and architecture! Wow that’s cool! I’m a big fan of Gehry :)

You broke into a wide smile, Gehry was your favorite too and you planned to do your dissertation on him when you reached graduate school.

Me: aww that’s so cool! What’s your favorite building? Mine’s the EMP museum in Seattle :)

Jaehyun: hmm will have to look that one up! Mine’s the Guggenheim Bilbao, guess I’m boring like that lol

You smiled even wider to yourself, happy to be able to talk about one of your passions with someone outside of school, and not have to bore your uninterested friends to death with it. You were eager to continue the conversation but you looked at the time, realizing you were already running late for your next class.

Me: oops sorry i gotta go to class

Me: talk to you later?

Jaehyun: of course! Have fun :)

---

Although he was exhausted, Jaehyun felt there was no way he could sleep now. He’d only meant to exchange a text or two with you to satisfy Doyoung, but he ended up enjoying the conversation, staying up later than he had meant to. He lay in bed, wide awake, wondering how your class was going, if you’d had something to eat, if it was cold or warm where you were. When sleep still didn’t come, he got up and made chamomile tea just like you’d suggested.

---

“Y/N! Who on earth are you texting? Don’t you know we have a major project due soon?”

You typed faster, wanting to get your message out to Jaehyun even as your classmates gave you dirty looks. “Sorry, guys! Almost done.” You pressed send, putting your phone away and resolving not to check it until you were done with the group project. Except you were dying to know what Jaehyun’s response would be to your question. You bit your lip, drumming your pen on the table anxiously.

“Y/N,” your friend, Sara, leaned in and whispered, “who is this new boyfriend, anyway? When can we meet him?”

You smiled, loving the sound of the term ‘boyfriend’. “Sorry, Sara, you won’t meet him for a while. He’s out of the country.”

“Wow, a long distance relationship,” Sara whistled under her breath, “I don’t know how you do it.”

You had to admit, it wasn’t easy, but Jaehyun was such a sweet, easygoing person. You’d bonded pretty quickly after finding some shared interests, and then you shared pictures and followed each other on social media. Soon you were video calling, almost every day, your days beginning and ending with his dimpled smile on your phone screen. You never thought long distance relationships would work, but you found Jaehyun made it easy. Despite his busy schedule he always made time for you, even if he had to call you from the car on the way to a photo shoot, or backstage at a music show. You thought he would be an unwelcome distraction to your studies, but you found he was a very welcome distraction indeed.

When the group went quiet, you snuck out your phone to check Jaehyun’s response.

Jaehyun: sorry Y/N, I can’t get away right now for a visit, we’re preparing for the next comeback

Jaehyun: thanks for the invite though, please make sure to send pics :)

Your heart sank. You had invited Jaehyun for your graduation, and you were hoping beyond hope that he would be able to make it. You knew it would be a long shot, so you decided to try asking anyway, but now you regretted asking in the first place. Dejectedly, you typed your reply.

Me: oh it’s okay, I figured you probably wouldn’t be able to come

Me: just thought I’d ask anyway

Jaehyun: i’m really sorry

Me: it’s cool! :)

Even though you sent a happy face emoji, you were anything but happy. You didn’t want Jaehyun to see how disappointed you were, so you made sure to put on your happiest face when you video called him later that night.

---

You couldn’t stop fiddling with your cap, and there were loose threads on your gown that were driving you crazy. The worst part was that you couldn’t get a hold of Jaehyun before the ceremony, and you started to bite your lip anxiously, your nerves getting the best of you and no calm words from your boyfriend to help settle you. When they finally called your name you got up nervously to walk to the stage, and suddenly you heard a loud cheer. You knew it wasn’t anyone in your family, so you turned towards the sound, and your heart almost stopped in your chest when you saw Jaehyun in the crowd.

The pictures he’d sent, the videos you’d seen, the image of him on your phone screen did not do him justice. In person, he was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. You almost dropped to your knees at the sight of him, but you felt your classmates pushing you towards the stage, clearly not wanting you to make the hellishly long ceremony even longer. On wobbly knees, suppressing a sob, you accepted your diploma, everyone thinking you were emotional because you were graduating, but really it was because you were seeing your long distance boyfriend for the first time.

When you walked off the stage you didn’t go back to your seat, you ran directly into his arms, and he laughed, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around.

“Congratulations, beautiful,” he whispered in your ear, before kissing you softly on the cheek.

“What are you doing here,” you sobbed, unable to hold back your tears as you clung to him.

“Well I recall getting an invitation?” he replied cheekily.

You smacked him lightly on the arm. “You said you couldn’t make it!”

He just laughed again, his eyes twinkling, “I wanted it to be a surprise. Sorry to fool you like that.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled, and finally, you got to kiss him. He leaned in, and you got up on the tips of your toes, your lips meeting for the first time. It was everything you imagined it would be, gentle but firm, the want clearly conveyed.

“Thanks for coming, Jaehyun,” you said softly, when you were finally able to tear yourself away from his lips.

He tightened his arms around you, pressing his forehead against yours. “Y/N, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

---

Thanks for 1.4k :)

[REQUESTS CLOSED]

[hangovercurse]

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About vi

You and Colson grapple with being “just friends.”

Colson X Reader

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 1871

| i | ii | iii | iv | v |

masterlist

Hi friend

You were in the studio working on editing one of your songs when you got the text. You hated it, but you smiled automatically when his name popped onto your screen.

Hi friend

The past few days had been weird, but necessary. Colson ended up staying at Pete’s apartment the next night too, so you had plenty of time to figure out how “friends” worked. Unsurprisingly, you hated it. But it was the only way to keep Colson close to you, so you’d take it.

I’m bored

I thought you were friend?

Haha

But seriously you should entertain me

As friends

I’m in the studio rn

U can take a break

What would we do if I took a break?

You tried really hard not to flirt, but it came so naturally. But maybe if you convinced yourselves that you were just friends, it would happen. Because that’s how things work.

Lunch?

I’m hungry

I thought you were bored?

That joke is lame

:)

Will u pls go out to lunch with me

As friends

Hmmmmm

I suppose I could think about it

You sighed, saving the audio project and shutting the computer down. You hadn’t eaten all day and spending time with Colson wasn’t the worst way to spend your lunch break.

Y/N I will find you and drag you out of that studio

You don’t even know where I am

Where do you wanna go?

I could find out…

Whatever u want

Mediterranean? There’s a cute place right by me I’ve been wanting to check out.

You sent him the address, asking him to meet you in 10 minutes.

It’s a date

Wait

No

Not a date

Like I’ll see you then

You laughed as the texts came through your phone, shaking your head. You headed out of the building, walking towards the small restaurant. You weren’t exactly dressed in “lunch clothes,” because you had expected to stay in the studio all day, but you would survive.

You got in line at the blue painted restaurant, thankful that it wasn’t too long. You waited a few minutes before a familiar voice spoke from your side. “Now what’s a pretty girl like you doing all by herself?”

You smiled, turning to Colson. “Waiting for her friend to show up.”

He raised his eyebrows, a smirk on his face. “I hope your friend is as hot as you are.” He chuckled.

You rolled your eyes, “not even close.”

Luckily Colson understood you were joking and he laughed with you. “How have you been?” He asked, “did they catch the guy breaking into apartments?”

“I’ve been good, working.” You nodded, “yeah, they caught him. He broke into this police officer’s place while he was home.”

Colson huffed in amusement, “talk about bad luck.”

“Right? I mean, I’m glad they caught him but, I mean, what are the odds?” You moved forward in the line, reaching the hostess stand.

“Two please.” Colson asked, flashing the girl a smile. You bit your tongue to hide the scowl that almost instinctively came to your face.

The hostess was young and no doubt attractive. She batted her eyelashes towards the tall man, not even acknowledging you. “What’s the name?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as Colson answered, wondering why she would need his name if she was taking you to the table. “And what’s the number?” She asked sweetly. If you were drinking water you would have spit it out.

Colson blushed slightly as you stood in shock. “Um-I’m.” He looked at you as if to say “I’m here with someone” but then he must’ve realized that he wasn’t technically on a date. “You’re lovely, but I’m not interested.” He muttered out, an awkward look on his face.

You were trying your hardest not to look pissed off, because if you looked pissed off then the lie you and Colson have been telling each other about being just friends would be exposed.

The girl looked you over, eyes raking up and down you with a disgusted look on her face. You felt very self-conscious suddenly, your head turning towards the floor in embarrassment. Colson noticed and cleared his throat, “our table?”

The girl didn’t speak a word as she grabbed two menus and led you to the table. “Your waiter will be with you shortly.” She spit out, anger on her face. Your heart was beating very fast, but you couldn’t tell if it was from anger or sadness.

Colson eyed you from across the table as you played with the hair tie on your wrist. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You spoke too fast to convince him, your quiet demeanor also giving you away.

He sighed, his foot kicking yours lightly and pulling your focus up to him. “Okay, you just seem a little uncomfortable.”

You huffed, “yeah, well, having girls look at me like I’m the scum of the earth does that to a person.”

He frowned, “You know she has, like, nothing on you, right?”

A small blush found your cheeks, and you looked down at your hands again. “You can’t say stuff like that.” You muttered.

“What? Friends say that stuff to each other! I’m trying to make you feel better.” His smile told you he knew what he had done, but he didn’t care.

You sighed, “yeah but you can’t say that to me.”

Colson gaped dramatically, “why not?”

“Because it’s different coming from you.” You laughed. “Why didn’t you give her your number?” You asked, curious for his answer.

He shrugged, “wasn’t interested. Guess I have high expectations.”

You rolled your eyes, “it’s not because I’m here, right?”

Colson let out a sigh, “N-“

He started to speak but was interrupted by the waiter at your table, “Welcome to Shuka, my name is Oliver, I’ll be your server today. Can I get you guys started with something to drink?”

“I’ll get a water, please.” You said, smiling at the man. Colson raised an eyebrow at you. “I have to go back to work after this.”

He chuckled, scanning the menu, “can I get a Nitro?” Oliver nodded, sending you both smiles before heading back to the kitchen.

You sent Colson a look, expecting him to continue your previous conversation. Instead, he continued to read through the menu. “Do you know what you want? I’m thinking about the Shak-Shakshu-.” He tried to pronounce the name of the dish but was failing.

You giggled, finding the dish on the menu, “Shakshuka.” You told him, “and I haven’t even looked.” You scanned through the menu in your hands, reading the names of the various dishes. Colson took to studying you, a small smile on his face.

“It’s not because you’re here. It’s because I’m genuinely not interested in anyone else.” He said out of the blue. Confusion flashed across your face before you understood what he was referring to. You took in a breath, trying to figure out how to respond. “I know I shouldn’t tell you that, but I just think you needed to know.”

You smiled to yourself, “I don’t mind, I just- it makes it harder to convince myself this isn’t a date.”

Colson nodded, “this is not a date. We are just two friends having a friendly lunch. As friends.” He was trying to convince himself too.

“Right. Friendly friends. Two people who are just friends.” You said, exaggerating the word “friends”. Awkwardness hung in the air for a few moments before you both started laughing.

You fell into the familiar pattern of conversation that seemed to come naturally to you both. When your meals arrived, you were both very excited. “Can I try some of yours?” You asked, sending him the most convincing puppy dog eyes you could muster. He chuckled, placing some of the poached egg onto his fork and moving it towards you. You rolled your eyes at the cliché but smiled anyways, letting him feed you. Your eyes widened in shock “that’s so good!”

He nodded, swallowing his food. “My turn.” He said, reaching over and plucking up a falafel from your plate with his fork. Once he finished eating he smiled at you, “you have excellent taste. You’re picking the restaurants every time now.”

You raised an eyebrow, a sly smile on your face. “So we’re going to have more of these friend lunches?” You asked.

“Duh. We’re friends. This is what friends do.”

You giggled, “I don’t hear about you and Pete going out for lunch together.”

The man chuckled, eyes closing for a moment. “If it’ll make you feel better I’ll take Pete to lunch one of these days.” That made you giggle even harder, shaking your head.

 Neither of you finished your meals, packing them into to-go boxes to eat later. When Oliver brought the check over, you were very flustered. Colson automatically reached to pay but you grabbed his wrist, “we’re on separate checks.” You told the server. Oliver nodded, moving to fix it until Colson spoke up.

“I got it, it’s not a problem.” You sent him a look. “I asked you to lunch, I pay.”

“Friends let their friends pay for themselves.” You muttered, moving your hand from his wrist.

He rolled his eyes, “you can pay next time.” Smiling smugly, he handed his credit card to Oliver, who was very confused. “Relax. I’m just being nice.”

You sighed, pouting slightly. “It’s already hard enough and then you make it worse by flirting and paying and- ugh.” You cut yourself off, frustrated.

Colson clenched his jaw, letting out a hard breath through his nose. “I know, I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly easy for me either.” You nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed at your small outburst. “We can do this.” He said, confidently. If only you could feel as confident as he sounded.

Once Oliver came back with the card and receipts, you both left the restaurant. You hadn’t noticed the cameras as you walked down the street with Colson, the conversation returning to light banter and jokes, but they noticed you.

Colson walked you all the way back to the studio you were working at, insisting on going with you all the way inside. “I just wanna see where you work.” He claimed, but you insisted it was just like every other studio.

You got into the elevator to ride up to the fourth floor, where your space was. Colson stepped in with you, a smile on his face. You sighed, pressing the button and waiting for the elevator to close.

“Hey Y/N?” He spoke as the doors began to shut. You looked up to him, eyebrow raised in question. The doors closed and instead of responding, Colson leaned down, pressing his lips to yours.

You kissed him back, hands cupping his face. You heard the elevator beep as you passed the second floor, and then the third floor. He pulled away, smile on his face.

You took in a deep breath, “I thought you…”

“Fuck it.” He muttered, standing up straight. You smiled, biting your lip. “But we’re not hiding this from Pete. We’re just… testing the waters.”

You hummed in agreement as the elevator doors opened, stepping into the hallway and leading him to your studio.

[sabraeal]

We Seek That Which We Shall Not Find, Ch 8

[Read on AO3]

Written for @eveluboi​ for winning the Obiyuki Trope Madness 2021 betting kitty! I meant for this to be out way back in June, but it quickly slipped from a 4-5K projected fic to 7K 😂

Cold porcelain presses up against her palms, slick from where her fingers wrap around the sink’s edge. Shirayuki bows her head down, watching the water spiral down the drain, and breathes. In and out; in and out. If she hadn’t left her phone out on the table, she could look at one of those gifs she bookmarked; the one where the triangle becomes a decagon maybe, or where the star burst becomes a mandala. But she did, so instead she has to visualize it, counting out the shapes behind her eyelids.

It doesn’t work, but at least it’s something.

There’s something distinctly high school dance about hiding the the bathroom-- though in here, it’s impossible to just sit on the toilet and brace her legs against the door. Not that she needs to; unlike a bathroom stall, this door actually locks. A feature she’s sure has nothing to do with whatever the Wisterias plan to get up to in that Jacuzzi tub.

Shirayuki frankly refuses to speculate on what that might be. She still has to look Izana in the eye tonight, and the last thing she needs is to be thinking about him doing-- things in here, with people. Maybe he just has a compressed spine at the ripe old age of twenty-five, the kind that can’t be alleviated by anything less than eight massage jets.

In any case, this whole strategy of retreat isn’t really her style. Or at least, it hadn’t been, until...before. Which was a blip on an otherwise spotless record of confronting her problems head-on, with the sort of determined attitude Jaja fondly refers to as foolhardy, and Busha calls bull-headedness.

Her fingers grip the bowl firmly, levering herself up to stare into the mirror. She can do this. She can go right out there, sit down, and have Lynet reject this proposal. Because a normal person wouldn’t hide in the bathroom to avoid a fictional conflict.

Right. Shiaryuki drops her hands, giving her reflection a steely nod. It’s not like this is her first time turning down a boy; even if Shuuka throws her in a dungeon, he’ll still have taken her rejection better than the last one did, and that was a real live person. Not that Raj is much of a measuring stick for any kind of model behavior, but-- still. The point stands.

The door gives beneath the pressure of her hand, opening with a silence that’s confusing rather than comforting. Zen’s house might not be as old as hers, but it’s still not new; the apartment went up in the last five years, and its doors still hang crooked, screaming every time they move more than an inch. She can’t imagine Izana going around oiling hinges.

“Hey.” A hand catches her, strong fingers banding around her wrist. Pale ones, slender and well-trimmed; she traces them right up a crisp flannel to find Kiki frowning down at her. “I would give it a minute.”

Shirayuki blinks, and suddenly the world refocuses. It’s oddly silent in the basement, only the thin tumble of dice from the floor above. Obi’s either up to something or Beaumains is in trouble; she can’t even beging to guess which one would be worse.

And Kiki’s leaning here, right against the neutral paint, waiting for her. She shifts, casting a worried look toward the game room. “Is something--?”

Mitsuhide clears his throat; it echoes down the empty hall, a sound that fills the space like thunder overhead. Shirayuki bites back the impulse to count until next lightning strike; even though she knows it should be the other way around, that light travels faster than sound, but this--

“Is something wrong?” Zen drawls, sounding nothing like the boy who sits next to her in homeroom. No, sounding like this, he’s every inch Izana’s brother.

-- this is different. Bedwyr uses his words before he dares draw his blade, and it comes too naturally to be anything besides pure Mitsuhide, just like Beaumains’ quick tongue is the same one that wags in Obi’s mouth. He rumbles before the strike, and this one is destined to hit too close to home.

“Zen.” There’s something about how Mitsuhide wields a name; Shirayuki hardly knows him-- not as much as Zen and Kiki, anyway-- but when he says hers, it’s like having those giant arms cradling her tight against his chest, in a way that is less romantic and more like a tiny kitten living in a jacket pocket. When he says Obi’s, it’s a buzz, a burr, the sound before a siren wails, a warning that will never become a threat.

And when he says Zen’s right now, it’s a weight, a boulder to bear like Atlas shoulders the earth. It’s the moment before the punishment comes in the last act; the last temptation to turn the antagonist back onto the path of the righteous. “You should rethink your behavior tonight.”

“My behavior?” Zen squawks, chair clattering beneath him. “I haven’t even done anything.”

Mitsuhide’s silence speaks volumes.

“I haven’t,” Zen insists, though it’s weaker this time. “You’re the ones who are just letting Obi act like the rules don’t apply to him.”

“We are?”

“Well...” The pout sits sullenly on this tongue. “Izana is. And you guys aren’t doing anything about it either!”

Mitsuhide heaves a sigh that would make trees sway. Kiki’s fingers flex in sympathy against her shoulder. “I think you’re being a little unfair.”

“Unfair?” The word squeaks at the end of Zen’s range. “What’s unfair is that Izana invited that guy for the specific purpose of scaring Shirayuki off, and no one seems to care.”

Shirayuki only realizes she’s moved when Kiki’s grip holds her back, one foot still hovering over the floor, poised to make a very determined stomp. Words are welling up in her like ground water during a storm; a whole monologue that threatens to flood the basement of her common sense. The whole night comes back to her in inches; every slight, every complaint is magnified tenfold now that she knows it comes to this, and she--

“Give them a minute,” Kiki murmurs. “Sometimes Zen just needs a swift application of a boot to his ass.”

She blinks up at her, body vibrating with a need to do something. “And Mitsuhide will do that?”

A picture might be a thousand words, but somehow Kiki’s eyebrows could compose a novel. She lifts them a bare, dubious inch, and Shirayuki knows that chapter one starts with, and you think you’d do any better? “You’ll see. He’ll come around. Have a little faith.”

Bitter words lick up her throat, a carefully composed diatribe furiously scribed by her irritation. A list of all Zen’s petty squabbles, of all the times he’d tried to sideline her or sequester Obi ready to spill out, but--

But she swallows it down. Tonight’s tried her patience for sure, but it’d been Zen who leaned across the aisle in homeroom her first day. The one who’d stuck out a hand and said, you must be new. The one who had made sure she’d had somewhere to sit at lunch-- sure, Kihal had found her by then, adopting her like a baby bird fallen from a nest, but he’d swung by even though his wasn’t until next period.

That’s what’s so frustrating, to be honest-- she knows how good he can be. So the fact he’s choosing to act this way instead...

Her shoulders sag under the weight of Kiki’s hand. “I’m trying to.”

When Mitsuhide speaks again, it’s even, patient; she’d be tempted to say it was like a parent to a child, but there’s no condescension, no sense of speaking down but rather across. “That’s possible. But you’re still the only one acting hostile at this table.”

Zen’s huffs, indignant. “So you want me to just sit here and let them ruin Shirayuki’s experience?”

Kiki pushes past her with a parting pat, sauntering into the room. “How could they when you’re doing such a good job of it yourself?”

Shirayuki can’t see either of the boys, but she can see Kiki when she spins a chair around, dropping down to straddle it. “You may not have noticed, but it doesn’t look like Shirayuki minds Obi being here. At least, not as much as you do.”

“Kiki,” Mitsuhide sighs, a warning. “That’s enough.”

Kiki must not agree, since she leans in, smile sharp enough to cut glass. “Maybe you need to lighten up, brother dearest.”

Zen sucks in a hard breath, like he’s been hit. “Don’t--”

The door rattles at the top of the stairs, a muffled voice turning to a dry laugh as it opens. Her stomach lurches like that moment at the top of a coaster, looking down at the track below. It’s Obi.

Kiki is a flurry of motion; her chair flips beneath her, and she sits back down hard, feet kicking up onto the table. When Izana and Obi emerge from the stairway, it looks like she‘s been idling at a casual tilt for hours, not seconds, but still, still--

Izana lifts one elegantly arched eyebrow. No matter how cleverly they all compose themselves, he almost certainly knows every word that’s been said.

“You’re back?” Zen coughs, his words hobbling awkwardly, dragged down by guilt. Izana’s other eyebrow joins the first. “What happened?”

Obi drops into his seat, cradling chin in hand. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would,” Zen snaps, irritation already rising. “That’s why I asked.”

“Oh, don’t worry--” Obi tosses him a wink designed to send him through the roof-- “you’ll find out.”

“I--”

“If there’s any other business, tell me now,” Izana says, taking his place at the head of the table. “Otherwise, you’ve slept through the night.”

Obi flutters his eyes, grin taking on a feral edge. “Well, you know I’m all taken care of, Majesty.”

“Anyone else?” Izana sighs, long suffering. His eyes flick out over the table, settling into a frown. “Does anyone know where Shirayuki is?”

“Bathroom,” Kiki offers too quick, gaze cutting over to where she hides in the hall, before darting back. The corner of Izana’s mouth pulls deeper, and his eyes lift--

“Ah, I’m here!” Shirayuki hurries out, slipping into her seat. When she looks up Zen’s watching her with wide eyes, gears clunking along behind them as he looks from her to the hall and back, doing the exact equations she was hoping he couldn’t. “Sorry.”

“It’s not a problem,” Izana assures her, keeping his eyes fixed to the screen in front of him. “Did you have anything you needed to do before the night is over?”

“Ah, um.” Her fingers stretch wide over Lynet’s sheet, tips gripping at the table. “Yes. One last thing.”

The stars are bright tonight, shining in the firmament like jewels in velvet. Ancient poets would invoke Diana at the sight, at the thousand heroes and maidens consigned to shine above for defying their fates. Older ones still would call upon Arianrhod, the silver wheel, mother of wind and skies alone, praising the complexity of her beauty.

But when you raise your eyes to heaven’s glorious vault, you see only kingly gift laid at your feet, unasked. And when you lower them, another waits for you in Shuuka’s smile, devastating and earnest.

“A fine night, is it not?” His breath mists in the air between you; a lucky thing, since it obscures your grimace. “In all Our Lord’s creation, a man could not find one finer than this.”

“It is a wonder,” you murmur, stirring the fur at your cloak’s collar. “But I have seen so little of this world that I hesitate to say that in a thousands nights there would not be one that could surpass it.”

His mouth spreads wider still, the pearl of his teeth glimmering in the moon’s light. You’ve pleased him, somehow. “You can only say that, my lady, since you are graced with your own presence every moment, and I have only these. For now.”

Your feet stutter beneath you; the leaves crunching makes him turn, brow raised in concern. “Shuuka...”

“Ah, yes. You wished to speak with me, did you not?” His boot heels clack against the cobbles, coming to perch on the raised bed beside you. He is not close, even still, but having his eyes level with yours makes this moment too intimate for you to keep him fixed in your vision. Instead you turn, leaving him looming at the corner of your eye. “I am your servant in all things, my lady. Speak.”

“My lord,” you begin, for politeness seems the only kindness you can extend to him, “I believe there has been some misunderstanding.”

His head tilts. “A misunderstanding?”

His voice is lower, a manly rumble instead of its usual reedy melody; a child playing at a man. A man he only wishes to become because it might make you happy.

You sigh, your gut tangling as easy as your fingers do above it. Were you any other woman but yourself, you would be pleased to have made a match as fine as this. Perhaps even mere months ago, you would have been comforted by the thought of marrying a man you had met before, even if he had been a silly, sobbing boy at the time. But now, as you are, you cannot care for this-- this life your father wished for you, with no thought to your own.

“About the state of the agreement between our fathers.” Your breath catches in your chest before you manage, “They are both gone.”

Shuuka peers at you with shining eyes, and oh, if only you could choose your words as gently as he deserved. But you know better; a man who wears a hard helm often keeps a harder head beneath it, and women’s words only penetrate such a barrier if they are drawn to a point.

“That I know,” he says, so soft. “And I am sorry for it. But we may yet do what they willed for our future.”

“That is not all,” you continue, each word stinging with guilt. “This understanding was dissolved long before either of them was brought back into the great shepherd’s fold. When my family fell upon misfortune...”

You had hoped it would be easier to speak of it, but the words stick to your teeth, refusing to leave the safety of your mouth. Shuuka reaches out, clasping his hand in yours with far too much understanding for what you wish to say.

“I am not proud of what my father did,” he tells you, sincerity ringing from his words, clear as a church bell. “Though I am certain he thought it would be for the best, at the time. He never pledged my troth to any other, and above any other woman he had entertained to be the Lady of Laxdo, it was of you he spoke most highly.”

“That is--” hard to believe. Not when you spent most of your betrothal dance trodding on his son’s toes-- “Kind of you to say. I know that you value the words of your father above all others--”

“My father’s esteem is exceeded only by that of the Lord in Heaven, may he ever sit at his right hand.” Pain hollows his eyes, so raw that even in health he gleams gaunt beneath the moon’s light. You have both lost your fathers, but this wound is fresh, bleeding still, and yours--

Well, yours sewed up just fine with a little needle and thread. How quickly a wound heals when you must see to it yourself.

“Would that I could talk to him,” Shuuka rasps, fingers clenching around stone. “But I trust that if he could see you now, he would see a daughter still.”

His grief burns brightly, a halo that surrounds him-- no, a shroud, the sort that might bury him beside his fathers bones if he did not take care. It is that which makes all this worse, which turns what you must do from a discomfort to a cruelty. But it is better yet than what it could be if you indulged him, if you let pity and kindness stand where only love should.

“Yes, I understand,” you murmur, gathering every last draught of courage. “But I must admit, my lord, that I do not hold my own father in such esteem. You are a kind man, Lord Shuuka, the sort any woman would count her blessings should she find you as her husband, but I...”

You flounder, the night pressing in thickly around you. What you wouldn’t give for crickets, if only to break the silence.

“Ah.” There is a wealth of hurt hidden in that breath. “But you mean to say that it shall not be you, Lady Lynet.”

“What?” Zen’s eyes blink wide, so bright, so blue across from her. “You’re turning him down?”

Shirayuki stares. “What do you mean?”

“He’s a lord, isn’t he?” It’s a strange thing to ask, especially when they just spent the last week and change-- well, four hours really-- at his castle, but here was Zen, looking toward Izana like he needed clarification. “Wouldn’t Lynet, you know...?”

“Um.” Even with a sweep of Zen’s wrist and the emphatic lift of his eyebrows, Shirayuki still can’t see how that sentence might finish itself. “No, I don’t.”

It’s quiet enough to hear a pin drop, so when Obi lets out a hiccup, isn’t not exactly inconspicuous. She glances over at him, and from the way his mouth twitches at the corners, she’s hardly the first. “Is something...?”

Wrong, she means to say, but Obi gives a single solid shiver and collapses onto the table, head buried in his arms.

There’s a breath where her fingers go numb on the table, where her heart beat practically deafens her as it pound in her ears. She’s not here in the room, she’s out in the yard, a wrinkled arm reaching out to her, and all she can think about is where her phone is, whether she can reach it from here--

“My, my.” Izana’s drawl rattles her back to the table, gaze skittering over Zen’s forbidding glare, the clasped hand over Kiki’s mouth, Mitsuhide’s wide-eyes-- “Isn’t that an interesting question. Now just what does make Lord Shuuka such an attractive partner?”

Obi lifts his head, still trembling, but it’s not some medical event. Oh no, he’s just-- just laughing. Shirayuki catches her breath, holds it, and thinks of a triangle becoming a decagon.

Nothing is wrong. Everyone is safe. Healthy.

“W-well.” Zen’s voice creaks from the reach she suspects he’s about to make. “He has ah, hmm...”

“Large tracts of land?” Obi offers, so helpful.

Zen hands stiffen where he holds them out in front of him. “I wasn’t going to say that.”

His brows give a wiggle. “Looks like it.”

“I--”

“Castle Perilous already has land,” Shirayuki interjects, hoping the tremble hasn’t reached her voice. “Plenty of it.”

Obi leans back in his chair with a grin. “Castle Perilous has everything! Large tracts of lands, at least two level or dungeons, an ominous name...”

She flicks him a flat look. “My point is, Lynet doesn’t need a manor to maintain-- she already left that to save her sister. She has a quest, she doesn’t need--” she waves her hands, steady now-- “romance.”

Obi’s brow ticks up, just the tiniest bit.

“I mean, not with a man she’s only known a week,” she blurts out, feeling heat simmering beneath her collar, licking at her ears. “Why would I be playing D&D if I just wanted to-- to marry Lynet off to the first guy she saw?”

Zen’s mouth fall slack, eyes glued to his character sheet. “Huh.”

“Gee,” Kiki drawls, “all that production for nothing.”

“Shut--”

“If we’re all quite done?” Izana suggests pointedly. “I believe Lady Lynet is not quite done breaking her beau’s heart. Also--” those pale eyes cut toward her, eyebrow quirked pedantically-- “it’s Pathfinder, by the way.”

Kiki lets out a huff. “It’s the same thing.”

With exaggerated care, Izana nudges her character on the map. “It’s really not.”

You take Shuuka’s hands in your own; they’re soft, callused on the mounts like Arturius’. A swordsman’s hands, though not a warrior’s. He flushes beneath your touch, and you wonder if he is bothered by the rough touch of your own, marred by scrapes and scars, so unlike a lady’s that you might as well be a different country. That is what your father had called you once: a different country, the fondness thick in his voice.

That had been before. He had been a different man. You had been a different Lynet. A time you would long for, if you thought it might make any difference at all.

“I have my own path I must tread, my lord,” you murmur, “one that cannot be turned aside for my own comfort.”

He nods, head heavy. “I see. You too have your own quest of honor, like His Grace. A glory that only you can seek.”

“If only it were for glory--” your fingers stiffen in his hold, teeth gritting down on the troubles that long to pass through them-- “instead of to right the wrongs that have been done.”

His brows lift, and you do not imagine the offer in his eyes, the one that says you would only need to breathe the word, and he would raise his own blade in your honor. “To you?”

Your tongue would tie itself in knots if it could. “Among many.”

“I understand.” His hand squeezes yours so gently, as if you were a thing that could break, a glass woman cradled in his palms. That is a thing these lords do not understand; glass may be delicate once blown thread-thin, but it is first forged in fire, born at a temperature that would char flesh. “Perhaps, though, when you are done...”

It feels cruel to reject him, a man that loves the lady you could have been, but it is crueler still to give him hope where there is little to spare.

“Perhaps,” you say, stilted. It is too mild an answer for the passion in his eyes, but you learned long ago that fate’s whims could not be foreseen by any mortal heart. “But please, my lord. Do not wait for me.”

“It will be hard not to, my lady, for a woman like you is not easily found. However--” he lets out a raw chuckle-- “I do know what love sounds like when I hear it, and it...does not warm your voice when we speak.”

“I...”

Shuuka holds up one hand, chagrined, the other still wrapped in yours. “You owe me no explanation. I only mean to wish you well.”

He lifts your hand to his lips, laying a soft kiss to its back. “May God go with you, my lady. I pray you will not forget your loyal servant in your trials.”

“I...will not,” you breathe, wishing you might be the girl that could love this man. You cannot, you cannot, but oh, how much easier your road would be if you did. “Thank you.”

“Well,” Mitsuhide hums, smile hung awkwardly. “He seems nice!”

Zen nods, pink looming just under the apples of his cheeks. “A good, ah, potential ally.”

Shirayuki stares.

“You two,” Kiki starts, every syllable so overflowing with derision they practically leak, “are ridiculous.”

Obi looks fit to bursting as well-- at least, if the state of his twitching mouth is anything to go by-- but before he can get one word in edgewise, Izana clears his throat.

“Now that this little interlude is complete,” he drawls, casting a wary glance over the table. “I expect that we can move on?”

“No, wait, I’m sorry!” Shirayuki bursts out breathlessly. “Just--” she glances at Obi, squirming under the question in his eyes-- “just one more thing. I promise.”

Izana settles back in his chair, brows raised. “Oh no, by all means. Color me...” His mouth curves into a smirk that would cause a cleverer woman to reconsider. “...Intrigued.”

Your neck aches; beneath your veil, your hair lies heavy on your scalp, pinned and tied to within an inch of its life. There is no more of it than usual, you are sure, but it weighs on you now, a fetter meant to hobble your steps. A shackle meant to drag you down, to halt your progress forward. Perhaps that is always what it was meant to be.

A proper lady would not remove her covering until she was safely ensconced in her chambers; such manners had been pressed upon you since your first courses, first by your nurse and then again by your father. Modesty was a woman’s shield, and you clung to it then as if it could protect you, afraid of what might happen to you without it. No, afraid of who you might be.

But you are no fine lady, not by anything but birth. Such trappings were ripped from your hands, and now--

Now you are Lynet, alchemist and arcanist, and you keep nothing that will not serve you. Your fingers wedge beneath the fine linen, pins falling to your feet as you work them free. Everything about Laxdo may squeeze you, trying to fit you back in the mold your father made, but you will not, not ever again.

It may have been years since you last stepped in Laxdo’s halls, but this past week has made it something like a home, your feet carrying you with ease through the twisting corridors. A different answer but a moment ago and these would have been yours, your home in truth, but to stay here, to forget the power that you tamed with your own two hands and become nothing more than Shuuka’s wife--

It’s unthinkable. A life not meant for you. Though your sister would like it fine enough.

Your feet stutter beneath you, breath caught tight in your chest. Who are you to say what she would want, when you--

You shake yourself. This guilt won’t serve either, not if you let it hold you in place. Your gaze lifts, and finally you see where your industrious feet have brought you: Beaumains’ door.

It was inevitable that they would; your own chamber is on the same hall, mere steps away. But you had not meant to come here, to linger, save that-- that you had, for he has been on your mind since he delivered you to the dais, since Arturius had him sent from it to the revelry below. His voice has thrummed beneath your veins since you looked across the hall and saw him missing from the tables below, your mind turning over every word he spoke this night to see if his disappearance is merely a missing piece to a puzzle you have already solved. But no solutions have appeared before you, and now--

Now you stand here, head bare at his threshold, wondering whether you will be welcome.

You hand raises, hesitating above the grain. You could leave now, and no one would ever know. But if you did, if you simply left with no word, and found him gone on the morrow...

You knock twice. Then thrice. There is not a whisper from the other side of the door. You know better than to assume that means there is no man, not such a one as Beaumains.

“Beaumains,” you murmur, palm pressed flat against the wood. “Beaumains, if you are there...”

Your lips press to a thin line. You had not planned this, planned any of it, and your words will not come. You do not even know which ones you speak if they would.

Your forehead rests against the door, the ridges of its grain digging into your skin. “If you are there, I am here.”

There is no answer but silence.

“Goodnight,” you say finally. “I will...” You hesitate, breath catching in your chest. “I will see you on the morrow.”

Izana, at least, is happy to move on.

“If you have spells to prepare,” he offers graciously, “you may do so now, before we start the morning.”

Kiki raises an imperious brow. “I take it we’ll be doing combat, then?”

With a beatific smile, Izana informs her, “You may prepare for any eventuality you see fit.”

“Yeah.” Zen sighs, flipping to his spell list. “Combat.”

Shirayuki shuffles through her index cards, chewing on her cheek. Next to her Obi has affected a casual slouch, arm thrown haphazardly over his chair back and legs stretching well onto Zen’s side of the table. He doesn’t seem stressed, not like how she feels sitting in the splash zone of of their high stakes game of I’m Not Touching You during this fantasy field trip.

Her phone slides into her hand easier than it ever has, thumb sliding surreptitiously across the keyboard. Are you okay?

Her teeth grit down as soon as it’s sent, regret bitter on her tongue. It’s a stupid thing to ask; a feeling that grows when she watches him work his phone out of his pocket, eyebrows lifting as he reads.

His mouth curls into a satisfied smirk. peachy keen

Are you sure? Shirayuki peeks up from her cards, casting a subtle glance toward the end of the table. Izana’s bowed behind the screen, pen gracefully curving over page-- notes. He’s taking notes. I wanted to make sure Zen isn’t scaring you off.

lol impossible

A breath hisses out her nose, fingers tightening around the case. Leave it to Obi to make this into a joke. He’s really not a bad guy, I promise. I don’t know why he’s choosing to act like one.

A smothered noise hiccups out beside her, too loud in the room’s silence. Four heads bob up, three blond and one brown, and Obi smooths the noise out into a cough, a gentle clearing of his throat.

“Dorito,” he says with a tight wheeze, mouth twitching. “Musta gone down the wrong pipe.”

“Ah,” Izana hums, his eyes narrowing. “Of course.”

Zen, however, frowns. “We have Doritos?”

Obi’s mouth stretches into a smile. “You did.”

“How--?”

“Are we done with preparations, then?” Izana asks smoothly, settling back in his chair. “Should we continue...?”

“Ah, no!” Zen grimaces, ducking his head. “Just-- another minute.”

i got a good idea, Obi texts once. heads are down. but don worry im not going newere His teeth flash as he sends, jus had 2 take care f s/t

She glances up, and his grin is there to greet her, only growing wider when he reads the question in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, my lady,” he murmurs, shifting close enough for the words to ghost over her cheek. “Trust me.”

You wake to hue and cry, to chaos in the halls. A lord’s daughter might lay abed still, waiting for her maids to fetch her, but you were the Lady of Castle Perilous; when Morgaine comes to fetch you, you are already dressed, tucking the last tresses of red beneath your coif. She blinks, those midnight-dark eyes going wide before her expression settles into something far more grim, something more resigned than surprise.

“Beaumains isn’t in his chamber,” she tells you, no cushion in her words, only the bruising impact of the truth. “We suspect he never made it back to it.”

Your breath catches in your chest, struggling against its cage. “That can’t be true. Last night I...”

Spoke to his door, with not a single sign of him within.

“When the maid came to tend his hearth this morning, his cot was undisturbed and the fire burnt down to embers.” Morgaine fixes you with a steady gaze, braced as a man about to take a blow. “We mean to look for him.”

You snatch your cloak from where it hangs, winding it about your shoulders. “Then let us go. If he has been taken, then--”

“I suspect he has been taken by naught by stupidity, the same as any man,” the princess grouses, falling into step beside you as you hurry down the steps to the yard. “My brother wounded his pride, and he sought to restore it. Or at least commit some feat to let it scab cleanly.”

It rankles how much each word rings true. You had no brothers at Castle Perilous, but men you had in spades, and every one fool enough to put himself in mortal peril to salve his pride. “Let us hope you are wrong?”

Morgaine lets out a rasping laugh. “You prefer him to be in the hands of the enemy, then?”

“Rather than his own stupidity?” you ask, breathless, waiting for the yard’s door to open. “Always.”

When they do, your heart stops, stuttering right up into your throat.

“Alas.” The word hisses through Morgaine’s smile. “You are destined to be disappointed.”

Beaumains sits in the yard, perched merrily atop a cart drawn into the middle of it. You cannot, from this angle, divine what it is filled with, only that it is solid enough to hold him and his ego. Temper climbs up your neck, as choking as any ivy; to think, you worried about his heart enough to trouble your own, and now he sits here as if naught but a moment has passed from the night into the evening, as if this were but yet another day he spent in your company.

Oh, how you could climb that cart yourself to give him a piece of your mind. You do not-- would not, before all these men of Laxdo-- but the temptation lashes yours soles as thoroughly as any devil.

“Beaumains.” Arturius marches forth from the crowd, wrath crackling in the air as he walks. “What is the meaning of this? We awake to you missing, and now--?”

“So I heard.” His smile shines in the morning sun, just as brightly as his horns. “I was here, of course. Waiting.”

The Prince of the Angles flushes crimson, the whole of his frame shaking. “Then why would you not--?”

“For a lark.” His teeth flash; fitting since he wields his words like a blade. “Though I did leave last night. You see, something bothered me, and not just your manners.”

“Demon--”

“Devil,” Beaumains corrects, as fastidious as any tutor. “And you see, all this celebrating, it didn’t make sense. Not when we hadn’t solved who cursed our friend here.”

He holds one dark, clawed hand out to where Shuuka stands, gaping. “Me? But I thought--?”

“You know as well as any that we have been searching tirelessly,” Arturius snaps, temper well and truly frayed. “And now you come to mock us for it? Is it a fight you ask for? Is that what you desire? For I am happy to give it to you, if you do not--”

“I want no fight,” Beaumains scoffs. “I want results. And so...”

With a desultory kick, the back of the cart falls open, and out of it--

Ah, and out of it pours forth a mound of bodies.

“And so,” he continues with relish, “I got some.”

“You can’t do that,” Zen murmurs, but it’s not in anger. No, that’s shock that slackens his jaw, and with the number of tokens Obi just dropped on the map, it’s working on Shirayuki too. “That’s not-- he can’t do that, can he?”

“He just did,” Izana replies, somehow both weary and amused at the same time.

“But...” Zen stares at them, more than a dozen tokens sprawled over the grid. “How.”

Obi grins. “Skill.”

Izana casts him a dark, yet exhausted, glance. “He rolled very, very well.”

Shuuka skirts nearer, his face pale with shock. “Those are the men who sold us firewood. The very same you pulled from our hearths.”

“That they are.” Beaumains sits back on the cart; now that you can see inside it you see his seat is not a crate, as you had assumed, but two bodies stacked atop each other, the blood drying around their mouths and necks. “Or at least that’s what I was hoping, Master, since otherwise I’d have made a mortifying mistake indeed.”

Arturius has not moved, instead staring down at the hand that laid at his feet, at the twisted grimace the deceased’s face has twisted into. “You did this alone? With no other man to help you?”

“I surely did,” the devil sing-songs, his grin honing to a point. “Could you find me such a one, daring enough to help on a night so dark as the last?”

The prince’s jaw sets hard as granite, but his eyes belie his sternness, shining with heady mix of admiration and something that savors strongly of jealousy. “Well,” he grits out, shoulders jerking towards his ears. “I cannot fault you your skill, devil, but now there is no chance of us learning how or why this deed came to be done.”

Beaumains scoffs, enjoying every moment he sits above the Prince of all the Angles. “Have a little faith, O Master Mine. Before they met the fates they bought with their cursed coin, I asked them what man or beast compelled them to act. And they told me--” his eyes flash with triumph-- “a man in red.”

There is no chance for you to stifle your gasp, not when you see that armor shining before you, crimson in candlelight. Not when even now, that spiked gauntlet reaches toward you--

“Lynet?” Morgaine’s grasp brings you back to yourself, to the moment you inhabit. “Are you well?”

“Fine, fine,” you assure her. “It is only--”

That you may know who this enemy of Laxdo is. That you yourself have come to see him vanquished, but yet--

You cannot speak of it. Not even if you wished.

“You may thank me at your leisure, sirrah,” Beaumain crows, getting to his feet. Even now your stomach roils as you look, the blood nothing more than a black sheen on his boots. “I am ever at your--” he leaps, landing on the ground before Arturius’s gaze. “At your service.”

And with a singular, extravagant bow, Beaumains tips face first into the cobbles.

“Wait.” Shirayuki blinks down at the toppled figure, resting on a spray of tokens, right next to a white-painted 1. “What just happened?”

“Beaumains--” Izana’s mouth twitches at a corner-- “had but a single hit point left.”

Long fingers pluck the die from its resting place among the bodies, as if quick reflexes could keep them all from seeing the rock Obi just dropped. He glowers down at it-- all black and golden and glimmering, just like him-- and shoves it back into his bag. “And glass ankles, apparently.”

A low, heady laugh rolls across the table, Kiki kicking up her feet with a smirk. “This is why we invest in CON.”

Obi scoffs. “Please, I made it out with HP to spare.”

“Yeah,” she says, “one.”

“Well,” he grumbles, “it was enough, wasn’t it?”

You stoop to where Beaumains sits, propped up by the stable’s post and Bedwyr’s shoulder, hand raised to heal--

“Please.” Bedwyr’s impressive hand gently guides yours away, his smile tight and concerned. “You must save your strength, my lady.”

“I just awoke, sir,” you remind him, mouth pulled into an irritated line. “I am as fresh as I shall ever be.”

The knight cants his head, though you know him too well to believe he might fully acquiesce to you. “I know that well enough. But it is your talent we will need, should any challenges arise before day’s end. And this is entirely within my--”

“No, no.” Beaumains stirs at his side, eyes sliding open to relieve the unrelenting shadow of his face. “Let the pretty lady lay her hands on me, paladin. Her touch is far softer than yours.”

Ah, it would have been best for him not to say such things before the whole of Castle Laxdo. Or at least, not in front of its lord. The weight of his gaze already presses heavy on your back, growing only more weighty as Beaumains sears a bleary line up you with his gaze.

He’s far to gone to keep it steady; already it wanders, tracing Bedwyr’s lines as well, and--

“Wait, no, never mind,” he slurs, squinting up at that giant of a man. “You’ll do too, sir, if you’re so eager to put your hand--”

Bedwyr presses a palm to the center of Beaumain’s forehead, and with an authority you know can only come from the Lord in Heaven, he intones, “SLEEP.”

“You know, big guy,” Obi drawls, grin already stretching from ear to ear. “I’m pretty sure paladins don’t get those spells. And fighters definitely don’t.”

Mitsuhide glances up from his sheet, straight at Izana.

He smirks. “I’ll allow it.”

Beaumains sleeps the slumber of the ensorcelled. That is, complete and utterly quiet.

Bedwyr peered down, and with a nod of his head, declares, “That’s much better.”

[thepoodlepack]

What's wrong with goldenpoodles? I'm genuinely curious because almost all of my dogs are mixed breeds and behave fine. So I'm curious if there's something else I'm missing

jeez this feels like bait but u kno what, you got me

alright, so it goes like this. the doodle really began with a guy in australia being like i need the temperament of a lab for a guide dog but these ppl are allergic to dogs, so i need a poodle bc they have hair, not fur. so he bred em together. years later he’s like damn that was a mistake.

now, why, exactly? alright so first of all he only needed that mix bc labs on average tend to adapt better to situations that are largely exclusive to service dog work than poodles do. i can go into what this means at a later date, but that’s basically how it is. but either way, people jumped on this creation and it kinda spiraled out of control. soon, poodles were being bred by everyone and every breed. suddenly, they were a marketing scam more then they were a dog breed.

oh theyre hypoallergenic! all of them, all the time cause zero allergies! look theyre so much better than poodles! theyre friendly and easy to train, not like poodles of course, just like labs! they’re better than labs bc none of them shed, ever! they’re super healthy bc breeding labs and poodles together wipes out all their health problems, of course!

lies, lies lies. the aussie guy, whose name i’m not going to look up bc i’m lazy but who you can find if you google creator of doodles, straight up says that even the first litter(s) of labradoodles he bred had puppies that the people he bred them for were allergic to. he very carefully tested the litter and the reaction the person had before placing a puppy that was not going to hurt them.

think of the punnet squares we all learned about in 5th grade science class. you draw the squares and one parent has two fur genes and the other parent has two hair genes and what do you get? well if you have four puppies, one might have hairhair and the next one might have hairfur and the next one might have furhair and the next one might have furfur. and so guess what? only hairhair pup is going to be the best choice for allergic people. additionally, you can see why the non-shedding thing can be bullshit, and that in particular is also a guessing game. you may be able to test allergy sufferers against the pups, but that does not necessarily mean they won’t shed. hairfur, for example, may be a good choice for some allergic people, but perhaps they’ve got just enough fur to shed anyway. also, lets look at salukis (and frankly, most long-haired sighthounds). salukis are still considered dogs with fur, not hair. they also still shed, even though it’s just a little. and yet they’re still considered good for allergy sufferers.

(ps poodles do actually shed. but they shed like humans shed. your hair comes out, doesn’t it? like, esp folks with long hair, aren’t people always complaining how you clog the shower drain? yeah, like that. ALSO obviously the situation is more complicated then super simple punnet squares and as an ex-groomer i have something to say about doodle coats but i’m going to save that for later, put a pin in it.)

oh and wait a hot minute there. i said best choice, didn’t i, not hypoallergenic. well, that’s because no dog is hypoallergenic. poodles, and a few other dog breeds, they have hair, like we do. but the thing is both humans and breeds with hair still produce the dander, though they’re different kinds. breeds with hair happen to produce the least amount possible that dogs can produce, which is why they’re a better choice for allergy sufferers, but that’s still not a guarantee. my roommate Dakota is allergic to dogs. if i don’t wash my dogs for an extended period of time (which has never happened, ever, in my life, idk what ur talking about), thus giving the chance for the dander my dogs still produce, he will have a very, very mild reaction when touching them. it can be countered by him washing his hands after touching them and also me just giving them a fucking bath, i need to stop forgetting, but still, there you go. ALSO people might not be allergic to dogs bc of their dander. they might be allergic to the saliva of dogs, which poodles or any other breed with hair still produces about the same as other dogs. so, yeah, not hypoallergenic, not at all.

the people who taut their hypoallergenic dogs for sale largely don’t do the testing required to check if they’re actually providing a dog to someone who won’t react to it. not acceptable at all.

so, labs are friendly and easy to train right? not at all like poodles, right? no. absolutely incorrect. some labs are friendly and easy to train. some labs, a lot of them when they’re puppies, are nightmare fuel. personally, i have a theory that everyone’s vision of labs in their heads are either a) service dogs or b) those old labs who are slightly pudgy (or morbidly obsess, which is a different topic) and who are graying in the face and just want to lounge around because they’re seniors now. alright, so here’s why thats bad. labs are a working breed. a retrieving breed. they’re supposed to be bulky and strong and driven. service dogs are highly trained, to a point that most pet dogs will never see, and if you see them with their actual disabled handler, they’ll probably be around 2.5 yrs of age and out of their most wild days. old labs are well. old. sleepy. maybe a bit achey. and well out of their most wild days. oh, and it’s the same type of thing with goldens by the way, the other most popular doodle type. poodles are also easy to train, especially if their parents have a decent temperament. they’re all about equal if you actually start training them when they’re puppies and just pay for some training classes, like everyone should. in the puppy classes i’m in right now, Euphoria is leaps and bounds ahead of doodles, goldens, and labs that are her age or older. I train her properly and she’s got amazing parents. that’s it, that’s the trick. not breed, not necessarily, and def not in this case.

I am once again going to say that labs and goldens are more often used as service dogs than poodles because of their adaptability, but it’s the ability to adapt to situations that most pet dogs will never have to worry about.

jeez this is a long post. i’ve still got more to cover too. alright, on to super healthy, or “hybrid vigor” as the nerds call it. uhh, it’s bullshit. thank u for ur time.

okay, but actually why on gods green earth would breeding two completely different breeds with little to no research make them super healthy? now i want to preface this with i’m (generally) pro-outcross projects. Euphoria’s dad is half mini poodle and half standard poodle, which isn’t technically an outcross bc all the variations are of the same breed, but if we’re going by genetic diversity alone minis and standards are different enough to actually be different breeds.

so, to be clear, outcrosses, given the proper thought and planning: good, results in healthier dogs (see: lua dals). randomly breeding two very different breeds together with no planning other than to sell the puppies to randos who won’t continue the outcross: bad. especially when you’re doing it to cash in and don’t health test at all, or don’t health test the major health problems with both breeds (if you’re doing an f2 breeding or anything like that). no the poodle’s health problems don’t get canceled out by the goldens or labs or whatever the other party’s health problems are, and vice versa. and yeah, i’ve looked at a lot of doodle breeder’s websites and yeah, most of them don’t health test at all, or at least don’t health test properly. do you know i own one doodle and currently live with another? yeah, i got them both from breeders and do you know how much health testing their parents got? if your answer is none, good job, you’ve been paying attention. in my defense, i was like 13, i didn’t know what i was doing.

alright, so those are the big points. this is kinda gonna be just... a mix of my other complaints. here we go, hope you’re ready for more. argument the first: i feel like it’s pretty disrespectful to reputable breeders. now, i actually have two reasons why that is. reason one: most reputable poodle breeders don’t want their breeding stock bred with other breeds, for various reasons. i’ve even met a few who used to be okay with it and then as the doodle scam got bigger and more out of control, they stopped being okay with it, even to the breeders who they had been fine with it in the past. that means a lot of doodle breeders out there have their breeding stock because they scammed poodle breeders into giving them pet quality, not breeding quality, dogs or because they’re getting their stock from non-reputable breeders. i also feel it’s disrespectful to breeders who are actually trying to create new breeds. quite frankly, a breed with the size, strength, and adaptability of a lab or golden that doesn’t shed and that has the train-ability of a poodle, lab, or golden sounds pretty interesting to me. did you know you can actually make that breed? and it wouldn’t be a cross with unpredictable... well, everything. it would actually be a true dog breed.

Look at Silken Windhounds and Biewer Terriers who began both development in the 1980s. Biewer Terriers were recognized by the AKC this year, and Silken Windhounds still haven’t been. And yeah, that’s the problem isn’t it? Making a real new breed takes a lot of time, planning, and care. People would rather just cash in. I think it’s sad and I think it’s disrespectful to the breeders who do work so hard to make actual new breeds.

and finally, unpin being an ex-groomer goddamnit. guess what? doodles are awful to groom! they’re terrible on the grooming tables because people want to have in both ways: they want a dog that doesnt shed at all and they want a dog who doesn’t need to be groomed. well guess what, that dog doesn’t exist and you can have it only one way. and also, bring back the goddamn punnet squares because a lot of doodles have awful coats. if you have hairfur and furhair over there, guess what, their coat fucking sucks bc it’s not meant to be like that. it wants to mat bc hair but also it wants the mats to slide out bc short-ish fur but its too thick for the mats to slide out bc thick hair. and yes its more complicated then this and that means its often more awful then this. its awful, it makes me want to cry. and maybe it’s slightly easier to get away with it with a shorthaired dog like a lab, or, you know what, even a golden, okay, even a slightly long haired dog like a golden but people are doodling akitas? border collies? bernese fucking mountain dogs? i am crying. i am crying right now as i type this.

lets do a sum up to this disaster of a post. look, i don’t go out there attacking or yelling at every doodle or every doodle owner i see, alright? or any of them really. i might engage in conversation to one that’s interested, but that’s it. i love my doodly Isis, okay? shes tiny and she’s adorable and I love her more than life and i will never, ever get another doodle. i don’t like the way they’ve gotten so prolific, i don’t like the reasons they’re now widespread, and i don’t like almost all of the people that create them, including the ones i’ve literally given my (parents) money to in the past. i wish they were better but i just cannot approve of them, especially not in the environment they exist in now. that said, i do support them in their original use case as assistance dogs, and i do not care about them if they’re shelter dogs.

[s-lily]

Loki in Thor

So I decided to watch Thor's MCU movies (again), this time paying special attention to Loki's POV, and oh boy! You know, I've always had a problem with Thor (2011), aka Loki's First Existential Meltdown, but this time it was too obvious and painful to watch (especially with access to all deleted scenes).

Spoiler ahead (but you know... from the 2011 Thor movie)

Let's take just a second to acknowledge that after he's told he was adopted, Frigga is the only one who validates him. She goes >>You are my son, and I love you. Here is Asgard, it's yours until Father awakes, my King<< he was so confused at the moment, and he didn't even want to take the scepter! A very important piece in Loki's journey, so what the studio decided to do? They deleted it! They justify everyone's (mostly the Warriors Three and Lady Sif) suspicion about him being evil. Well, he's not!

Honestly, Thors' friends are a little dense. Even without the deleted scene, let's recap the events: The King is indisposed (Odin is having his beauty sleep), the firstborn unavailable (Thor's has been exiled), and the apparent Regent unwilling (Frigga is worried for Odin and wanted to stay at his side), but somehow making the second born, Loki, the acting ruler is so treacherous. He must have surely stolen the throne! (note the sarcasm here)

Ok, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt because he didn't want to undo Odin's last order (although it's not like they need Thor back. Asgard was not in imminent danger or something. Basically, they are just unhappy that their best friend can not go out to play because he was grounded). But - insert frustration mannerisms here - Seriously? What did they expect? It's not like Odin is dead. He is going to wake up, and when he does, who will be the one in trouble because Thor is back? Ding! Ding! Ding! Exactly! Loki.

Not to mention the emotional turmoil in which Loki is at that point. He's not Odin's son, plus he's telling himself he is unworthy, a monster, a relic waiting to be used. He wants to prove him wrong, that he is worthy. He even goes to Earth and tries to lift Mjölnir, but he can't, and again he is reinforced with the idea that he is unworthy.

Now that we're are on Earth, let’s talk about why did he tell Thor that Odin is dead because of him? Surely he is evil, isn't he? Well, not really. I admit that telling Thor that was mean, but I think he is merely projecting his own feelings. Remember, Odin fell asleep meanwhile he was arguing with Loki. It's Loki's fault Odin is vulnerable, he feels guilty, but at the same time, Loki hasn't had the opportunity to overcome his existential crisis when talking to his father, and Thor is the only one who is available to work it out.

What about Frigga? You may ask. Frigga already validated him. She loves him, and he loves her. There is not more unfinished business with her. On the other hand, he has a lot of issues with Thor.

Sibling rivalry is normal, even Disney's perfect duo (Elsa and Anna) has some of it. Do you remember Anna's song about being like a little extra button? Probably not, because it's an outtake song - insert frustration mannerisms here - but look at it, and you'll know what I'm talking about. (More Than Just the Spare is the title). The point is that all the unspoken brother rivalry has multiplied it with the revelation of his true nature. Every single favor Odin had with Thor over him, no matter how minimal, now it's an open raw wound. He's envious more than ever.

Funny thing. Loki is the most sincere in this movie. In the deleted scene before the coronation, he said to Thor that sometimes he is envious, but never doubt he loves him (why delete it! it was only 3 minutes long! and the brotherly banter was great). He said to Thor in the final battle that he never wanted the throne, that's clear as crystal in the deleted scene when he is made King (again! why deleted such important 4 minutes!), and it's proved it again when he told Laufey he only showed them the way into Asgard to protect it from Thor's idiotic rule for a while longer. Please pay attention to the "a while longer" it means he has accepted Thor would be the king, he was at peace with that (even when Odin has told them both were born to be king), but he knew his brother was not ready, so he put that stunt with the Frost Giants in motion to prove himself right (he never intended to put Asgard at risk, he knew, as Odin said, it was the act of a few doomed to fail, he only wanted to ruin Coronation Day). He is sincere and confesses to his brother's friends he is the one who told the guard to go for dear daddy to stop them (which backfires because now Hogun and Sif think of him as a traitor. Just because he did the right thing to do! Even when all of them knew that going to Jötunheimr was a bad idea).

The sad thing is that Thor doesn't even know what is happening. He's on Earth having his Hero Journey until his friends find him (and gave him their version of the facts) and now his little brother suddenly turned vicious, and he doesn't know why.

Now, I want to rant about Heimdall. I understand the Warrior Three dislike for Loki (he is Thor's annoying little brother who always tags along, most likely to be the snitch, and who to Asgardian standards is not a skilled warrior because he prefers to use magic and tricks instead of brute force). However, Heimdall is supposed to be this wise man, yet he treats Loki, a Prince (don't forget about it), with disdain and disrespect. He has watched all of Loki's life. He's watched him grow. He knows he is a mischief kid, probably a little spoiled. (who would blame him? If someone messed with him, here comes big brother Thor at the rescue. If the thing turned serious, he is the second born of All-Father Odin. I would like to see somebody fight that. And hell sure, he's mommy's little boy, so he probably got away with a lot of things. Actually, that's probably what made him the Good of Mischief. Ok, I'm rambling now, back to the main issue) Heimdall knows he is clever, and honestly probably more apt for political affairs than Thor at this point, but when Loki is named king, he seems unable to show a little bit of loyalty. He's blind because Loki bypassed his all-mighty sight. Yikes! Chill out!, now he knows how everyone else feels.

Finally, the last blow. Loki said to Odin (and still refers to him as Father - I'm not crying, I'm not crying) that he could have succeeded. Wipe out all the Frost Giant, he could have eliminated all trace of his monstrous side. He said "for you" as in for you to be my only father, for you to accept me as your son, and not a relic to trade with, and what Odin said? No. (I'm well aware Odin said "No" more in like >>that's no the way, you're my son no matter what<<, and not like >>I don't accept you<< ) Loki is in a lot of emotional distress here, and he is hanging off the Bifrost's cliff, he feels rejected, he feels unworthy, so he let himself go. He drops loose from his father's scepter lets himself consume in the void of space.

And the hope of surviving wasn't on his face.

[i-do-trash-fanfictions]

The Wolf's Howl: Ch. 1

It began at the Cosmodrome, over twenty-five years ago. A lone Ghost drifted between the rusted cars and the skeletons of long-dead people. He had never been out here before, though he had heard many Ghosts talk about how they had found their Guardians here. The area was filled with old spirits, waiting to be brought back into this world again with the help of the light.

The Ghost scanned everything, every skeleton, every inch of ground, every car, in the hope that this would be the day, the day he found his Guardian. Then, just as he began to give up hope, he found something. There, underneath the Earth, was what felt to be a pulse to the small Ghost. And then his shell expanded, he pushed his light to this pulse, and then there, before him, was his Guardian.

She was in tattered clothing. It was obvious she was an awoken. Ripples of light went through her pale lilac skin, and bright blue eyes stared at the small orb before her. Curiosity shone in them.

"What are you?" She asked softly to the Ghost, her Ghost.

"I'm a Ghost, made by the Traveler to resurrect protectors of humanity. Guardians, such as yourself. I'm your Ghost now, and you are my Guardian. I know things won't make much sense to you now, but you'll understand more once we get to the City." He explained.

He could tell she was deep in thought, and probably had a lot more questions she wanted to ask, but she only nodded.

A screech from not too far off caused both of them to startle, especially the Guardian, who had never heard such a sound before.

She looked to her Ghost. "What was that?"

"Fallen. We need to go, now. Quickly, come with me."

The woman went to follow her Ghost, but then he stopped, turned around to face her.

"Here, hold still a minute." He drifted to her, then in glitters of light disappeared. His Guardian looked around.

"I'm still with you. Keep going. To that doorway, over there."

She went where he directed and entered the building in front of her. It was rather dark, and she had to admit she was a bit spooked. She heard creaking sounds which led her to believe she was not alone in here.

They went up a flight of stairs and soon reached a very dark area. Her Ghost knew they could not go farther without some light. So, he appeared out of thin air and drifted away. In no time the lights came on. And his Guardian watched as many sets of four eyes appeared, and fallen skittered down large pipes and walls towards her, as the gate went up beside her. She slid under it as her Ghost flew up to her and disappeared again. She didn't think as she grabbed the auto rifle which lay beside the chest in front of her. The sights were broken, but there was still ammo in it, so it would do. She took off running and as the fallen appeared in front of her she fired the weapon. Instinct that she didn't know she had took over. She did not miss.

She couldn't remember ever firing a gun before, but the way she held it and fired it proved otherwise. However, she didn't get much time to think about it as she shifted her focus onto the alien creatures in front of her.

She continued her run, and finally, she made it out of the building. And before her was a huge robot thing. It wasn't until her Ghost mentioned it was a walker did she know what it was. It turned its head and its red optics landed on her. A shot was fired and the woman barely dodged out of the way. She began to fire at the walker with her auto rifle, but it didn't even leave a dent in its armor.

"There! Leaning against that wall!"

She swiveled her head to see a grenade launcher laying against a wall nearby. She ran towards it, and the walker fired another shot which she ducked under. It hit the wall behind her and debris flew from it. The awoken grabbed the grenade launcher and let out a sigh of relief that there was still some ammo left in it. She went into cover as yet another blast came in her direction. Then carefully she took her aim, and fired.

The grenade hit its neck, a weak point her Ghost had informed her of, and on impact, it exploded. Sparks flew from the walker and it collapsed to the ground.

"I killed it." She whispered with wide eyes. "I killed it!" She raised her arms in triumph.

"That was amazing! I bet no Ghosts' Guardian has done that straight out of the grave!" Her Ghost exclaimed.

"Where do we go now?" She asked as she took a look around.

"That building, over there. We've got to figure out a way to get you to the City."

The awoken listened to her Ghost and went in that direction. She went past a few hallways and then, "A ship." Her Ghost stated, appearing out of the air and flying towards it.

"Can it fly?" His Guardian asked him, staring up at the hunk of junk laid in wires and cables.

"Maybe. I'll see what I can do."

The nearby sound of more Fallen made the Guardian prompt her Ghost to hurry up. She kept her eyes on her surroundings, and just as a fallen captain made its way into the room, she was suddenly in the dusty ship.

"It'll get us to the City, let's go." Her Ghost explained.

"I can't fly!"

"I will for now."

The ship rose, breaking past the cables, and in no time, they were in the air, flying fast.

The awoken brushed dust off of the window with her hand and stared out as they passed the Cosmodrome below them. Soon her eyes drifted to the controls before her, and then, to her Ghost.

"Do you have a name, or are you just called Ghost?" She asked.

"I don't really have a name. I was called Firefly by a friend for a while though."

"Hm. Firefly doesn't seem really fitting. It just doesn't. . . click, if you don't mind my saying so."

"You can pick my name?"

She went through many names in her head, but couldn't settle on one. "I think I'll just call you Ghost for now. At least until I can find one that fits."

He bobbed up and down as if nodding to her.

"Do you want to fly?" He asked her.

"I don't know-"

"I'll teach you. Here, grab hold of this-" Ghost began to instruct her, and in no time at all, she was soaring through the air.

"Slow down!" He exclaimed.

"Why, it's not like we can hit anything?"

"We could hit a bird!"

"It'd be the bird's fault. It should have moved."

Ghost rolled his singular optic.

It was almost no time at all when the Last City, in all of it's glory, came into view. The Guardian marveled at it, and then her gaze met the huge orb floating in the midst of it.

"Is that-"

"The Traveler." Her Ghost said.

In just a few more minutes the Guardian made her very, very shaky landing into the Tower's Hangar.

Her Ghost transmitted her out of the rickety ship just as a young woman (the Guardian guessed in her early twenties) with blonde hair running up to them both.

"You've got a mess there." She stated in a southern accent.

"Yeah." Was all the Guardian said in response.

"New light?" The question was directed at Ghost who was floating over his Guardian's shoulder.

"Just found her at the Cosmodrome. Can you believe that she took out a walker just five minutes after being rezzed?" He said excitedly.

The woman chuckled. "Name's Amanda Holliday. I'm the Tower's shipwright." She held out her hand and the Guardian shook it. "You better go meet the Vanguard now. Cayde's over there, leaning on that pole trying to look cool. He's the Hunter Vanguard. Go talk to him and he'll show you around. I'll take care of this piece of crap. Get you a real ship."

"Wait. Do you think you can fix it?" The Guardian asked.

"Yeah, I can fix it. Why, you wanna keep it?"

"Yes, actually, if that isn't a problem for you?"

"No, no. I've been wanting another big project. You go talk to Cayde and I'll get to work." Amanda went towards the ship.

The Guardian nodded and walked towards the blue exo Amanda had pointed to.

"You're Cayde?" She asked when she approached.

"The one and only."

"Amanda sent me to you. She said I needed to meet the Vanguard?"

"Newlight, huh?"

She nodded.

"You've probably got a lot of questions." He stopped leaning and stood up straighter. "Come on," He gestured with a nod out of the Hangar. "I'll answer 'em while we walk."

[thesaltofcarthage]

Loki takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

from Entertainment Weekly

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

By Chancellor Agard May 20, 2021 

Tom Hiddleston is Loki, and he is burdened with glorious purpose: After playing Thor's puckish brother for over a decade in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, no one understands the mercurial Asgardian God of Mischief as well as the actor. He can teach an entire seminar on Loki if given the opportunity — which he actually did during pre-production on his forthcoming Disney+ show. In conversation, Hiddleston quotes lines from his MCU debut, 2011's Thor, almost verbatim, and will playfully correct you if you mistakenly refer to Asgard's Rainbow Bridge as the Bifrost, which is the portal that connects Loki and Thor's homeworld to the Nine Realms, including Midgard, a.k.a. Earth. "Well, the Bifrost technically is the energy that runs through the bridge," he says with a smile. "But nine points to Gryffindor!" And when he shows up to the photo shoot for this very digital cover, he hops on a call with our photo editor to pitch ways the concept could be even more Loki, like incorporating the flourish the trickster does whenever magically conjuring something. The lasting impression is that playing Loki isn't just a paycheck.

"Rather than ownership, it's a sense of responsibility I feel to give my best every time and do the best I can because I feel so grateful to be a part of what Marvel Studios has created," the 40-year-old Brit tells EW over Zoom a few days after the shoot and a week out from Thor's 10th anniversary. "I just want to make sure I've honored that responsibility with the best that I can give and the most care and thought and energy."

After appearing in three Thor movies and three Avengers, Hiddleston is bringing that passion to his first solo Marvel project, Loki, the House of Ideas' third Disney+ series following the sitcom pastiche WandaVision and the topical The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Led by head writer Michael Waldron (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Heels), the six-episode drama sees Hiddleston's shapeshifting agent of chaos step out from behind his brother's shadow and into the spotlight for a timey-wimey, sci-fi adventure that aims to get to the bottom of who Loki really is. "I wanted to explore slightly more complex character questions," says Waldron. "It's not just good versus bad. Is anybody all good? Is anybody all bad? What makes a hero, a hero? A villain, a villain?"  

Even though Loki — who loves sowing mayhem with his illusion magic and shapeshifting, all with a major chip on his shoulder — has never been one for introspection, the idea of building an entire show around him was a no-brainer for Marvel. When asked why Loki was one of the studio's first Disney+ shows, Marvel president Kevin Feige replies matter-of-factly, "More Hiddleston, more Loki." First introduced as Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) envious brother in Kenneth Branagh's Thor, Loki went full Big Bad in 2012's The Avengers. That film cemented the impish rogue as one of the shared universe's fan favorites, thanks to Hiddleston's ability to make him deliciously villainous yet charismatic and, most importantly, empathetic. The character's popularity is one of the reasons he's managed to avoid death many times.

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

The Loki we meet on the show is not the one who fought the Avengers in 2012 and evolved into an antihero in Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok before meeting his demise at the hands of the mad titan Thanos (Josh Brolin) in 2018's Avengers: Infinity War. Instead, we'll be following a Loki from a branched timeline (a variant, if you will) after he stole the Tesseract following his thwarted New York invasion and escaped S.H.I.E.L.D. custody during the time heist featured in Avengers: Endgame. In other words, this Loki hasn't gone through any sort of redemption arc. He's still the charming yet petulant god who firmly believes he's destined to rule and has never gotten his due.

Premiering June 9, Loki begins with the Time Variance Authority — a bureaucratic organization tasked with safeguarding the proper flow of time — arresting the Loki Variant seen in Endgame because they want his help fixing all of the timeline problems he caused while on the run with the Tesseract. So there will be time travel, and a lot more of it than in Endgame. As Loki makes his way through his own procedural, he'll match wits with new characters including Owen Wilson's Agent Mobius, a brilliant TVA analyst, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw's Judge Renslayer. The question in early episodes is whether Loki will help them or take over.

"One of the things Kevin Feige led on was, 'I think we should find a way of exploring the parts of Loki that are independent of his relationship with Thor,' or see him in a duality or in relationship with others, which I thought was very exciting," says Hiddleston, who also serves as an executive producer on the show. "So the Odinson saga, that trilogy of films, still has its integrity, and we don't have to reopen it and retell it."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

Hiddleston can't believe how long he and Loki have been connected. "I've been playing this character for 11 years," he says. "Which is the first time I have said that sentence, I realize, and it [blows] my mind. I don't know what percentage that is exactly of my 40 years of being alive, but it's substantial."

His time as Loki actually goes a bit further back, to 2009 — a year after Robert Downey Jr. big banged the MCU into existence with Iron Man — when he auditioned for Thor. It's no secret that Hiddleston initially went in for the role of the titular God of Thunder, but Feige and director Kenneth Branagh thought his natural charm and flexibility as an actor made him better suited for the movie's damaged antagonist. "Tom gave you an impression that he could be ready for anything, performance-wise," says Branagh, who had previously worked with him on a West End revival of Checkov's Ivanov and the BBC series Wallander. "Tom has a wild imagination, so does Loki. He's got a mischievous sense of humor and he was ready to play. It felt like he had a star personality, but he was a team player."

Hiddleston fully immersed himself in the character. Outside of studying Loki's history in the Marvel Comics, he also researched how Loki and the Trickster God archetype appeared across mythology and different cultures. "He understood that he was already in something special [and] it was a special character in a special part of that early moment in the life of the Marvel universe where [he] also needed to step up in other ways," says Branagh, who was impressed by the emotional depth Hiddleston brought to the part, especially when it came to how isolated Loki felt in the Asgardian royal family.  

There was a lot riding on that first Thor feature. For one, no one knew if audiences would immediately latch onto a Shakespearean superhero movie partially set on an alien planet populated by the Norse Gods of legend. Second, it was integral to Feige's plans for the shared universe. Loki was supposed to be the main villain in The Avengers, which would not only mirror how Earth's mightiest heroes joined forces in 1963's Avengers #1 but also give Thor a believable reason for teaming up with Iron Man, Captain America (Chris Evans), and the rest of the capes. Feige first clued Hiddleston into those larger plans when the actor was in L.A. before Thor started shooting.

"I was like, 'Excuse me?' Because he was already three, four steps ahead," says Hiddleston. "That took me a few minutes to process, because I didn't quite realize how it just suddenly had a scope. And being cast as Loki, I realized, was a very significant moment for me in my life, and was going to remain. The creative journey was going to be so exciting."

Hiddleston relished the opportunity to go full villain in Avengers, like in the scene where Loki ordered a crowd to kneel before him outside a German opera house: "It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation," says the Machiavellian god. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

"I just knew that in the structure of that film, I had to lean into his role as a pure antagonist," Hiddleston recalls. "What I always found curious and complex about the way Loki is written in Avengers, is that his status as an antagonist comes from the same well of not belonging and being marginalized and isolated in the first Thor film. Loki now knows he has no place in Asgard."

Loki did find a place within the audience's hearts, though. Feige was "all in" on Hiddleston as his Loki from the beginning, but even he couldn't predict how much fans would love him. Feige recalls the reaction at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con: "Did we know that after he was the villain in two movies, he would be bringing thousands of people to their feet in Hall H, in costume, chanting his name? No, that was above and beyond the plan that we were hoping for and dreaming of." It was a dream Feige first got an inkling of a year earlier during the Avengers press tour when a Russian fan slipped past security, snuck into Mark Ruffalo's car, and asked the Hulk actor to give Hiddleston a piece of fan art she created. "That was one of the early signs there was much more happening with this quote-unquote villain."  

Despite that popularity, the plan was to kill Loki off in 2013's Thor: The Dark World, but the studio reversed course after test audiences refused to believe he actually died fighting the Dark Elves. Alas, he couldn't out-illusion death forever. After returning in Taika Waititi's colorful and idiosyncratic Thor: Ragnarok, Hiddleston's character perished for real in the opening moments of Infinity War. In typical Loki fashion, before Thanos crushed his windpipe, he delivered a defiant speech that indicated he'd finally made peace with the anger he felt toward his family.  

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.  

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

When Hiddleston returned to film two scenes in Avengers: Endgame in 2017, he had no idea where Loki portaled off to after snatching the Tesseract. "Where'd he go? When does he go? How does he get there? These are all questions I remember asking on the day, and then not being given any answers," Hiddleston recalls. To be fair, it's likely the Powers That Be didn't necessarily have answers then. While Feige can't exactly recall when the writers' room for Endgame first devised Loki's escape sequence, he does know that setting up a future show wasn't the primary goal — because a Loki series wasn't on the horizon just yet.

"[That scene] was really more of a wrinkle so that one of the missions that the Avengers went on in Endgame could get screwed up and not go well, which is what required Cap and Tony to go further back in time to the '70s," says Feige. Soon after that, though, former Disney CEO Bob Iger approached Feige about producing content for the studio's forthcoming streaming service. "I think the notion that we had left this hanging loose end with Loki gave us the in for what a Loki series could be. So by the time [Endgame] came out, we did know where it was going."

As for Hiddleston, he didn't find out about the plans for a Loki show until spring 2018, a few weeks before Infinity War hit theaters. "I probably should not have been surprised, but I was," says the actor. "But only because Infinity War had felt so final."

Nevertheless, Hiddleston was excited about returning for his show. He was eager to explore Loki's powers, especially the shapeshifting, and what it meant that this disruptive figure still managed to find a seat beside the gods in mythology. "I love this idea [of] Loki's chaotic energy somehow being something we need. Even though, for all sorts of reasons, you don't know whether you can trust him. You don't know whether he's going to betray you. You don't why he's doing what he's doing," says Hiddleston. "If he's shapeshifting so often, does he even know who he is? And is he even interested in understanding who he is? Underneath all those masks, underneath the charm and the wit, which is kind of a defense anyway, does Loki have an authentic self? Is he introspective enough or brave enough to find out? I think all of those ideas are all in the series — ideas about identity, ideas about self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and the difficulty of it."

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

The thing that truly sold Hiddleston on the show was Marvel's decision to include the Time Variance Authority, a move he describes as "the best idea that anybody had pertaining to the series." Feige and Loki executive producer Stephen Broussard had hoped to find a place for the TVA — an organization that debuted in 1986's Thor #372 and has appeared in She-Hulk and Fantastic Four stories — in the MCU for years, but the right opportunity never presented itself until Loki came along. "Putting Loki into his own procedural series became the eureka moment for the show," says Feige.  

The TVA's perspective on time and reality also tied into the themes that Waldron, Loki's head writer, was hoping to explore. "Loki is a character that's always reckoning with his own identity, and the TVA, by virtue of what they do, is uniquely suited to hold up a mirror to Loki and make him really confront who he is and who he was supposed to be," says Waldron. Hiddleston adds: "[That] was very exciting because in the other films, there was always something about Loki that was very controlled. He seemed to know exactly what the cards in his hand were and how he was going to play them…. And Loki versus the TVA is Loki out of control immediately, and in an environment in which he's completely behind the pace, out of his comfort zone, destabilized, and acting out."

To truly dig into who Loki is, the creative team had to learn from the man who knows him best: Hiddleston. "I got him to do a thing called Loki School when we first started," says director Kate Herron. "I asked him to basically talk through his 10 years of the MCU — from costumes to stunts, to emotionally how he felt in each movie. It was fantastic."

Hiddleston got something out of the Loki school, too. Owen Wilson both attended the class and interviewed Hiddleston afterward so that he could better understand Loki, as his character Mobius is supposed to be an expert on him. During their conversation, Wilson pointedly asked Hiddleston what he loved about playing the character.

"And I said, 'I think it's because he has so much range,'" says Hiddleston. "I remember saying this to him: 'On the 88 keys on the piano, he can play the twinkly light keys at the top. He can keep it witty and light, and he's the God of Mischief, but he can also go down to the other side and play the heavy keys. And he can play some really profound chords down there, which are about grief and betrayal and loss and heartbreak and jealousy and pride.'" Hiddleston recalls Wilson being moved by the description: "He said, 'I think I might say that in the show.' And it was such a brilliant insight for me into how open Owen is as an artist and a performer.'"

Everyone involved is particularly excited for audiences to see Hiddleston and Wilson's on-screen chemistry. "Mobius is not unlike Owen Wilson in that he's sort of nonplussed by the MCU," says Feige. "[Loki] is used to getting a reaction out of people, whether it's his brother or his father, or the other Avengers. He likes to be very flamboyant and theatrical. Mobius doesn't give him the reaction he's looking for. That leads to a very unique relationship that Loki's not used to."

As for the rest of the series, we know that Loki will be jumping around time and reality, but the creative team isn't keen on revealing when and where. "Every episode, we tried to take inspiration from different things," says Waldron, citing Blade Runner's noir aesthetic as one example.

"Part of the fun of the multiverse and playing with time is seeing other versions of characters, and other versions of the titular character in particular," says Feige, who also declined to confirm if Loki ties into Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and/or other upcoming projects.

Making Loki was especially meaningful to Hiddleston because they shot most of it during the pandemic, in late 2020. "It will remain one of the absolute most intense, most rewarding experiences of my life," he says. "It's a series about time, and the value of time, and what time is worth, and I suppose what the experience of being alive is worth. And I don't quite know yet, and maybe I don't have perspective on it, if all the thinking and the reflecting that we did during the lockdown ended up in the series. But in some way, it must have because everything we make is a snapshot of where we were in our lives at that time."

While it remains to be seen what the future holds for Loki beyond this initial season, Hiddleston isn't preparing to put the character to bed yet. "I'm open to everything," he says. "I have said goodbye to the character. I've said hello to the character. I said goodbye to the character [again]. I've learned not to make assumptions, I suppose. I'm just grateful that I'm still here, and there are still new roads to explore."

Additional reporting by Jessica Derschowitz

[nemesisadraste]

Daily bug.

From : Nemesis Adraste 

To : @cosmomugen

Setting : Lyoko, sometime during season 4.

Pov : Omniscient.

It was a normal day for the warriors. They woke up, took a shower, had breakfast, and then X.A.N.A. attack! The only less usual thing is that they were missing a warrior cause Ulrich was out on a scholar soccer tournament for the weekend. But it's not like that never happened before. They can handle it.

When Yumi arrives at the factory she finds with no surprise that she was the last. Her house was less close to it then Kadic after all. She always feels bad about having to lie to her parents. This feeling had worsened when they stopped using RTTP systematically because her parents actually remember those lies now. But it was for the best. For theirs and Hiroki's safety. Though considering how often they almost… that she almost… Was it really?

- Hey Yumi! Welcome to the party! Said Odd as soon as the elevators' doors opened at the lab level.

- Good morning! Replied Yumi, her dark train finally stopped. What's in it for us today Jérémie?

- Oh nothing special really. X.A.N.A. activated a tower on the mountain sector and hasn't shown himself on earth yet. If you hurry you might stop him before he actually does something so you three go down there asap!

Yumi, Odd and Aelita went in the elevator down to the scanner room and entered in one, ready for the virtualisation. The virtualisation went perfectly as usual… except for one little tiny detail…

- Odd?... What happened to your outfit? Asked Aelita.

Odd looked down at his outfit to realise that his all new all good lyoko outfit has been replaced by his old one that he never really liked. I mean the cat thing wasn't complete without hears and the old outfit wasn't well adjusted to him. It has elephant pants strapped with knee protection, big gloves instead of literal clawed arms, his shoulders weren't covered and for lyoko's sake it had Kiwi peeing on his chest like seriously?!! 

- Einstein what's going on?!! Why do I have my old outfit back?! Is that a joke of yours? Cause the girls still have their new outfit on!

- I have no idea Odd… It must be a bug. Explained Einstein. You sure have a way to collect them.

- Or maybe X.A.N.A. is messing with you, said Aelita with her gentle laugh that'll make anyone forgive her anything.

- Well either way you have to fix this Einstein! I can't go on with my lyoko life with this old stuff on me.

Would you stop over dramatising for a sec Odd? I will fix this when I'll have the time I promise, but right now we have a tower to deactivate so focus on that ok? 

- Ugh fine. There is no reflective thing on the mountains anyway so I'll try to forget that I'm badly dressed.

- You're too kind, sarcastically replied Yumi. 

- I know, I know… Now let's get over it! The sooner we finish, the sooner Einstein can get my good outfit back!

- If Ulrich was here he'll probably tell you how well placed your priorities are. Remind the princess.

- Well he's not here so it's too bad. 

- I can take a picture and send it to him so he doesn't miss out on this. Offered Aelita. I'm sure he would enjoy it!

- Don't you dare! 

- Oups… too late! Bluffed Aelita.

- Unsend it! I won't hear the end of it if he sees it!

- Don't worry I was just kidding! Assured Aelita. I'm not evil.

- I'm sorry to interrupt you, but there are monsters coming your way. Warned Jérémie.

The rest of the mission went fine. They killed monsters and deactivated the tower without any damage done on earth. Not that they were aware of at least. So no need for RTTP. Too bad. Odd would have loved to see Ulrich's reaction when he would have suddenly gone back in time without warning.

That night, like almost every night, Jérémie didn't sleep. His work didn't end with the missions. He had to find new stuff against X.A.N.A., made sure the upgrades went perfectly with the current codes and system, worked on how to free William from X.A.N.A. and found Hopper, and as if this wasn't enough, now he had a bad outfit day to take care of. To be fair he understood Odd's frustration, but this was just a ridiculous glitch he would have gladly passed on. He still hadn't found the solution when Aelita entered his room.

- Still not sleeping I see. She said caringly.

- You neither. Observed the genius blond.

- I had another nightmare and I knew you would be awake all night over Odd's fashion problem so I thought I'll come to give you a hand. She said while gently crossing her arms around him from behind and kissing him on the check.

- Guess I can use the help. I kinda miss having you on my screen to talk through my insomnia. Admitted Jérémie.

- I miss those conversations too. Admitted Aelita. I also miss not having nightmares, she added. But you know I'm always here for you anyway right? I might not be available 24/7 on your computer screen anymore, but as much as I can I'll come help you and talk to you anytime you need it. And so are you friends. You don't have to do this alone.

- I know. I guess I'm just used to being alone. Just my computer and me you know. I'm the only one on the team except for you that know how those things work. It would be unfair of me to ask for their help for this and you have been through enough already without having to deal with a fashion crime on a computer.

- The same can be said for you, you know? Laugh Aelita. Also, fixing a little glitch is exactly what I need to forget my nightmares and the more the merrier right! Together we'll fix it in no time!

- If you say so. Accepted Jérémie. Ok let's give Odd his new outfit back before the next mission or he'll be worse than X.A.N.A. to deal with.

- Hmm… said Aelita… while we're on it, maybe we could also upgrade it a little no?

- What do you mean? Asked Jérémie.

- I mean… And she whispered her idea in the blond ear who had to contain himself to not burst laughing and wake up the entire floor and gladly accepted her Idea.

The next mission happened 5 days later. This time, everyone made it to the factory and when Odd got virtualized, he looked at his outfit, happy to see it exactly like before the bug. But that's because he couldn't see the back of it… When Odd started walking, turning his back to the others, they all started laughing. 

- What's so funny? Asked the cat-boy.

- It's a shame you can't see your back, sais Ulrich, because you have an amazing portrait of Einstein with a crown saying "fashion king" in it 🤣🤣🤣

- WHAT?!!!! You're serious?!! How dare you?!!

- Don't blame him, it was my idea. Admitted Aelita. Don't worry Jérémie will take it away in a sec I just wanted Ulrich to enjoy this bug story too. 

- Ha ha very funny… everyone had their laugh so you can take it away now Einstein.

- Wait! Scream Ulrich. Before you do this… Aelita, can you send me a picture of it please? I wanna make it my wallpaper. 

- No problem answered Aelita

- NO! Screamed Odd. Einstein take it away now! He ordered while making sure that Aelita couldn't see his back and took a picture.

- I'm trying but I don't remember how too… I was really tired last night you know… give me a minute or two...

- Hurry!

Like I said, it was a normal day for the warriors. There were a lot like them in the past, and there will be a lot more in the future.

End.

Hi Cosmomugen! Here was my gift for you for the Code Swap project. I hope you liked it! Your prompts was Odd in his original lyoko outfit, Yumi and Jérémie X Aelita so I did a mix of the three… Tell me what you think of it and have a nice day!