#and now i'm finally in a space where i can explore with a bit of joy and i just feel scared and sad and unprepared

[welcometogrouchland]

Thought about Damian and Dick's dynamic for too long and now I need to level a city block

[melancholy-of-nadia]

i'm not sure?! (m) | jjk/pjm/kth

title: i'm not sure?!  pairing: jungkook x jimin x taehyung x show producer!reader(f)  rating/genre: m(18+) ; fluff, smut ; the canon idol au summary: You're a producer working on a BTS travel show, called "Are You Sure?!" staring BTS members Jimin and Jungkook, with their fellow member guest star Taehyung. Everything is going well on set as filming for the night comes to an end, but when Jungkook and Jimin inform you that they caught you staring at their shirtless bodies, things quickly escalate between you guys by the poolside. warnings: fluff, language, pwp, threesome, foursome, tit play, nipple play, licking, some body boob worship, blowjobs, hand jobs, eating out, multiple orgasms, ass slapping, light mlm moment, cumming, oral sex (m and f receieving), biting, praise, they all have a big dicks but they're different!, tatted jk and jimin is a warning in itself, jungkook is a bit more rough, jimin is soft :(((, taehyung dom tease!, insinuation that this is not their first rodeo lmfao, kisses note: i am watching are you sure?! and i've thought many thoughts... i hope this one shot can be prescribed to you and heal whatever insane and nasty intrusive thoughts you guys have when watching. i am a simple woman, but these men only slightly older than me have me wrecked :"))) also s/o to @daegudrama for editing despite her busyness total word count: 6.6k drop date: August 29th, 2024 5pm pst ao3 link

A day of filming wrapped as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden hue over the lush greenery of Jeju Island.

The final shot had captured the last rays of sunlight glinting off the shimmering pool, where Jimin and Jungkook had been playfully splashing each other and playing mermaids, their laughter echoing through the tranquil evening air. The crew began to pack up the equipment, the usual post-shoot chatter filling the space as everyone prepared to unwind after another successful day.

You, the producer, had been watching the monitors closely, ensuring every moment was captured perfectly for "Are You Sure?"—the travel reality show hosted by BTS members Jimin and Jungkook. You’ve seen how their chemistry was undeniable since filming started out in the US in July. Now, once again, their camaraderie was infectious as they explored the beauty of Jeju, Korea with their fellow bandmate and guest star Taehyung by their side. Each outing in Jeju had been a hit: indoor rock climbing, go-karting, savoring omakase as well as other Jeju delicacies, and now, the pool at the luxurious house accommodation, where they seemed to find endless ways to entertain themselves, and the audiences who would eventually be watching this.

However, throughout this filming project, you found your eyes constantly lingering. The cool blue water rippled gently as Jimin and Jungkook clambered out, their naked torsos glistening in the fading light. It wasn’t the first time you’d caught yourself staring a little too long, mesmerized by the sight of them so effortlessly carefree and touchy. There was something about the way they moved, their playful energy, that made it hard to look away.

You shake off the thought. Get it together, Y/N! You finally got a big gig producing a reality show for BTS in your mid-20s and you cannot be ruining it over your lust. You sigh. Maybe the lack of touch and a relationship is really getting to you, but that’s what happens when you value your career above other mundane things. You have to remind yourself that you have to continue staying professional to make it to the end of filming this.

What you don’t know is that your stares haven’t gone unnoticed, especially by the youngest of the trio, Jungkook.

As you begin to collect your things, your heart skips a beat when you hear a voice call out to you.

“Hey, PD-nim. Can you come join us by the pool for a bit before you go,” Jungkook says, his tone casual, but his smile inviting. “We wanted to talk about tomorrow’s shoot.”

Jimin nods in agreement, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leans against the edge of the pool. “Yeah, we’ve got some ideas for tomorrow. Plus, it’s a nice night—no reason to rush off, right?”

You hesitate for a moment, your mind racing. The day has been long, and you can feel the exhaustion settling in. But the chance to spend a few more moments in their company, even if just to discuss the next day's itinerary, is too tempting to resist.

“Uh,” you turn to look around at the other staff, seemingly wondering if you should stay behind.

However, the ones who notice the interaction shrug, seemingly wanting to go back to their accommodation next door and eat dinner. Great.

“Sure, I can stick around for a bit.” trying to keep your voice steady as you walk over to where they’re waiting.

All the staff but you fully exit, closing the large doors that encase you in this space with these beautiful men. You sit on one of the comfortable seats by the pool, nervously hugging your knees as you watch Jimin and Jungkook swim toward you. You notice Taehyung is still inside the living room, lying on the floor as he scrolls on his phone. “Is he coming to join us?” You ask, wondering if there are any concerns for tomorrow, wouldn’t it be good to have him hear this information too?  

“He’ll join us later~” Jimin answers, his tone sounding like he’s up to something, but his adorable smirk makes you not question it.

“Ah, alright.”

A brief silence follows as you look to Jimin and Jungkook to start the conversation, but instead, they exchange a glance and giggle.

You’re confused, but you recognize this as typical behavior from them. “Is there something wrong?”

Jungkook’s giggling becomes softer before it cuts, “You know, we’ve noticed you staring at us too much throughout the trip in America and here.”

Holy shit! They noticed!

Panic sets in. Oh no no no. Is this it? They probably think you’re creepy.  What if they think you’re some sort of sasaeng fan who somehow got involved in the production of this show to stalk them? 

You’ll be labeled a pervert, potentially losing your job and getting blacklisted from the industry. All because you couldn’t keep your eyes off of their beautiful faces… and bodies. It’s not your fault! While you were a fan of BTS years ago, you gave that up once you entered the entertainment industry a few years ago and started out as a production assistant. You’ve occasionally seen them at music and end of the year shows you worked on, but you gently admired them from afar, prioritizing your work over anything else.

“I–” You struggle to find the words to defend yourself. “I’m so sorry!” You cover your face with your hands, your words muffled. “I-I didn’t mean to! Y-You’re… He’s…”

The professional and stoic exterior you’ve maintained begins to crumble now that you’ve been caught red-handed.

But despite your panic, Jimin and Jungkook find your reaction completely endearing.

“She’s reacting exactly as cute as you said!” Jimin laughs, splashing water at Jungkook, who swims toward the pool ladder to get out.

“I didn’t realize she’d be this flustered, though!” Jungkook says, a hint of concern in his voice. He climbs out of the pool and walks toward you, dripping water onto the deck. “PD-nim, don’t worry about it.”

You peek through your fingers, still mortified, as Jungkook approaches, looking as attractive as ever with his body glistening from light reflecting on the remnants of water falling down his body. His expression is soft, reassuring, and it only makes your heart race faster.

Jimin lets out a soft chuckle. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re just teasing you,” His voice is light and teasing as he floats lazily in the pool “We’re not uncomfortable. It’s kind of flattering, actually.”

Jungkook nods, his expression gentle yet probing. “Yup! You’ve been nothing but professional this whole time. We just noticed that… maybe there’s more beneath the surface.”

Jimin gracefully lifts himself out of the pool and takes the seat on your other side. His presence is both comforting and disarming. “It’s like there’s something you’re holding back,” he adds, his tone hiding something deeper. “Something you’re denying yourself.”

You exhale slowly, trying to steady your nerves. Internally, you’re awestruck. It’s like they read you like a book. The intensity of their gazes still makes your heart race. Before you can respond, Jungkook’s eyes drop to your chest, his smile turning playful again.

“You know,” he says, “I noticed the black bikini top peeking out from under your tank top earlier.”

Your breath catches as his fingers touch the straps that tie behind your neck. You’d planned to swim later, after filming, wearing the bikini under your tank top and maxi skirt. Seeing how much fun they were having, you’d wanted to join in. But now, with their attention focused on you, you feel exposed in a way you hadn’t anticipated.

Jimin leans in slightly, his voice dropping to a murmur. “Why don’t you take off your clothes so we can see it better? We’ll help you~”

Take off your clothes?! Your heart pounds in your chest, the suggestion hanging in the air between you. The teasing is taking a turn, and you’re not sure how to respond. Saying no might kill the mood, and who knows what they’d think—or say. But if you say yes… there’s no telling where this might lead.

You’re not sure. But after a moment’s hesitation, you nod, your voice barely above a whisper. “Okay…”

Jungkook gently takes hold of the hem of your tank top, his fingers brushing against your skin. His touch is both soft and deliberate, sending a shiver down your spine as he slowly lifts the fabric, his eyes never leaving yours.

Your breath catches in your throat as Jungkook pulls the tank top over your head, revealing the black bikini top beneath. Your cleavage and the roundness of your breasts are on full display, which makes them slightly more excited. The cool air hits your skin, making you acutely aware of how exposed you are. 

But the look in their eyes isn’t one of judgment—it’s something far more intense, more primal.

Jimin watches with a satisfied smile, his gaze flickering between you and Jungkook. “You don’t need to hide, okay?” he adds, his voice soft yet commanding. “We’re all just having a little fun, right?”

Jungkook’s hands linger on your waist, his thumbs brushing lightly against the skin just above the waistband of your maxi skirt. “This too,” he says, his voice almost a whisper as he hooks his fingers under the fabric.

You glance at Jimin, who nods encouragingly, his eyes dark with anticipation. There’s no turning back now, and a part of you doesn’t want to.

With a gentle tug, Jimin helps you slide the skirt down your hips, letting it pool around your feet. You stand up, stepping out of it. Now, your body is fully on display in the black bikini that suddenly feels far more revealing than it did before.

Jimin’s smile widens as his gaze travels over you, his hand coming to rest on your thigh. “Wow, you look even better than I imagined,” he murmurs, his voice sending a thrill through you.

“She’s really pretty,” Jungkook’s hands trail up your sides, his touch light but possessive. “Let’s go in the pool for a swim,” he says softly, his eyes locked onto yours.

You’re momentarily thrown off by the sudden change of scenario, blinking in surprise. The intensity of the moment shifts, and both Jimin and Jungkook burst into soft giggles at your reaction. Before you can say anything, Jungkook takes your hands and, with a mischievous grin, pulls you up from the lounge chair.

In one swift motion, he lifts you into his arms, the strength in his hold both reassuring and thrilling. “Hold on tight,” he says, winking at you before he leaps into the pool, bringing you along with him.

“Huh!? Wahh!!” The water rushes around you, cool and refreshing as you both plunge beneath the surface.

When you resurface, laughing and splashing, Jimin stands at the edge, watching with amusement. “Wait for me!” he calls out before executing a perfect cannonball right between you and Jungkook, sending a wave of water crashing over both of you.

The three of you laugh as the playful atmosphere takes over. The tension from earlier dissolves into something lighthearted and fun. In the pool, you play a variety of games: splashing water at each other, racing from one end to the other, seeing who can hold their breath the longest, and even attempting to dunk each other under the water.

You become more familiar with them and vice versa.

Jimin and Jungkook take turns lifting you up and tossing you into the deeper end, your laughter echoing in the night. At one point, Jungkook even suggests a round of “chicken fight,” where Jimin hoists you onto his shoulders while Jungkook does the same with an imaginary opponent, both of you trying to push each other off into the water.

As the night progresses, the games become more relaxed, the three of you floating side by side, your bodies gently swaying with the ripples of the water. 

Maybe this is all that’s going to happen. Maybe you were overthinking any other scenario. They were just teasing you because you were staring at them throughout the filming. You guys are gonna call it a night, right?

Right–

“Y/N, can I touch your breasts.”

The sudden question jolts you out of your thoughts, and you quickly stand up in the pool, water cascading off your skin. Jungkook is closer now, his gaze fixed on you with a seriousness that wasn’t there before. His eyes are darker, a smoldering intensity taking over the playful spark you’re used to.

You swallow hard, caught completely off guard. “Is there… a reason?” you manage to ask, your voice coming out shakier than you’d like. You are on the bigger side than most girls here, so it’s not entirely surprising that your chest caught his eye.

Jungkook steps even closer, his presence almost overwhelming. “I’m just curious,” he says softly, his voice low and almost hypnotic. “I want to see how they feel.”

Your heart races, every nerve in your body tingling as the situation escalates far beyond anything you’d imagined. You can’t believe this is happening, and yet, there’s something in the way he looks at you that makes it impossible to say no.

“Uh… sure,” you respond, barely above a whisper, your cheeks burning with a mixture of embarrassment and anticipation.

Jungkook’s hand moves slowly, deliberately, under the cup of your bikini top. His touch is tentative at first, as if he’s savoring the moment, but then his fingers press more firmly against your skin, exploring the softness with a deliberate curiosity. Your breath catches in your throat as you feel his thumb brush against your nipple, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. 

The sensation is heightened by the sight of his tattooed right arm, the intricate patterns of his sleeve adding a dark contrast to his skin. The ink swirls and curves with every movement, the bold lines almost mesmerizing as his hand continues its exploration.

You bite your lip, trying to stifle the sound that threatens to escape, but you can’t help the way your body reacts to his touch. The water feels warmer now, the atmosphere is charged with sexual tension. Luckily the cameras outside are now off, but you still can’t let the staff in the building next door hear anything going on. 

Jimin, who had been floating nearby, quietly watching, now moves closer as well, his eyes glinting with something unreadable. “Jungkook,” he says softly, his voice a gentle reminder that he’s there too, “Don’t hog all the fun.”

Jungkook pulls back slightly, his hand still lingering on your skin as he glances at Jimin with a playful smile. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Jimin leans closer, his gaze intent and voice soft. “I’m going to touch you too, is that okay?”

You nod, anticipation and nervousness swirling within you.

Jimin’s hand moves under the bikini cup to grasp your left breast, his touch gentle yet confident as he begins to explore. His fingers graze and play with your nipple, causing a shiver to run through your body. His thumb and forefingers move in careful back and forth motions. Tenderly tweaking them, carefully observing the way your face reacts to his every touch. He appears as if he is under a trance, and looks at you with such a need in his eyes.

The sensation is heightened by Jungkook, who leans in closer, his breath warm against your skin. 

“I’m gonna remove your top so I can suck on them a bit,” He says shyly, pausing for a moment to untie your bikini straps from the back of your neck and remove your bikini top, before lowering his head and softly pressing his lips to your nipple, his tongue darting out to tease. 

His hands push your breasts together as his tongue caresses the inner curves of your tits, swirling his tongue across them. Your hands are on his shoulders as he continues, licking every inch of your chest, nuzzling his face between them and leaving kisses along the path. His tongue flicks your right nipple and your breathing hitches in your throat. Despite the water in the way, you can feel yourself becoming wet from below.

Jimin watches, clearly intrigued, and soon follows suit, his mouth finding the other breast. He rubs his mouth along it, giving it a couple of kisses then wrapping his lips around it. Suctioning and taking in the tit with such hungry delight. 

You feel like you have whiplash, as you cry out from the warmth of their mouths on your skin, your back arches off of the wall of the pool. You want to touch them, reach for them, feel the silkiness of his hair in your grasp. 

But Jimin doesn’t let up, taking his time licking slowly around your areola until your nipple perks up, hard and stiff. He flicks it with the tip of his tongue, and with the sudden cold from the night air, it feels all too much. 

Jungkook looks up at you through his wet hair, through black lashes as he widens his mouth over your breast, his teeth bared, scraping the fat of your breast without ever breaking the skin. You cry out in a cluster of pleasure, maybe pain, as your senses are confused about all of the sensations at once.

Despite the feelings of them against you, their actions are synchronized and perfectly in tune with each other.

The pool’s gentle ripples and breeze seem to fade into the background as the focus narrows to the intimate touch of the two men. Their movements are tender and explorative, a blend of curiosity and desire that leaves you breathless and overwhelmed.

Your mind is fighting for dear life to stay sane and not lose to your animalistic urges,

“Let’s get out of the pool,” Jungkook commands, his voice firm yet enticing. “I want you to sit back on that daybed couch, baby.”

The shift in how he’s addressing you in the past 45 minutes is striking—both intimate and commanding. You nod, your body responding almost instinctively to his command as you all exit the pool. The three of you walk over to the poolside daybed, water dripping off your bodies, cooling in the night.

You sink into the plush cushions, the soft fabric cool against your heated skin. The daybed is large, designed for lounging, but right now, it feels like the center of something much more intense. Jungkook and Jimin kneel on either side of you, their knees pressing into the mattress as they lean over you, their wet bodies glistening under the soft pool lights.

You look at both of them, a daring thought forming in your mind. “I want to… lick at your chests too,” you say, your voice trembling slightly with a mix of eagerness, shyness and uncertainty.

The thought of exploring the contrasting textures of their skin, the difference in their nipples under your tongue, is almost overwhelming. You wonder how each will react, the mere anticipation making your breath catch.

Jimin’s eyes light up with a mischievous glint. “Go ahead,” he murmurs, his voice a blend of encouragement and desire. “We’re here for you.”

Jungkook watches intently, his gaze dark with expectation. “We’re all yours,” he says softly, his tone dripping with promise.

You reach out tentatively, your fingers brushing against their chests to feel the firmness of their muscles under your touch. The warmth of their skin sends a shiver down your spine as you explore the contours of their bodies. Your hands glide over Jungkook's chest first, pausing to tease his nipples with your fingertips gently. His breath hitches, a low hum of approval escaping his lips as he watches you with darkened eyes.

Encouraged by his reaction, you lean in closer, your mouth hovering just above his skin. You start with a soft kiss on his chest before taking one of his small chocolate nipples into your mouth, your tongue swirling around it in a slow, deliberate motion. Jungkook’s hand instinctively reaches up to cradle the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he lets out a quiet groan of pleasure. His chest rises and falls more rapidly, his breathing growing heavier as you continue to tease him, alternating between gentle licks and firmer sucks.

The sound of his pleasure fuels your desire, making you want to elicit even more reactions from him. But as you pull back slightly, your gaze shifts to Jimin, who has been watching with equal intensity. His eyes are filled with anticipation, his lips slightly parted as if he’s already imagining what it will feel like when it’s his turn.

You move towards Jimin, your fingers tracing the outline of his chest as you did with Jungkook. His skin feels different—softer, yet still firm beneath your touch. Just below his right breast, he has a delicate script tattoo, the word "Nevermind" inked in elegant, flowing letters. You've always found it sexy, this handwritten tattoo adds a personal touch to his perfectly sculpted body.

His nipples are also differently shaped, bigger, and a bit lighter in color. You can feel the slight tremble in his body as you gently roll his nipple between your fingers before leaning in to taste him. Your mouth closes over his nipple, your tongue flicking against it in a teasing rhythm that draws a sharp inhale from him. His hand rests lightly on your shoulder, his grip tightening slightly as you continue to explore him with your mouth.

Jimin’s reactions are more subtle, yet no less intense. His soft moans mix with Jungkook’s heavier breathing, creating a symphony of sounds that only heighten your own arousal. The way their bodies respond to your touch, the contrast in their reactions, drives you to explore further, to discover just how much pleasure you can bring them.

You pull back slightly, glancing toward the large doors that separate the pool area from the rest of the accommodation. A flicker of concern crosses your mind, and you bite your lip before whispering, “You two need to stay quiet. We don’t want anyone overhearing us.”

Any slight mistake and you will lose your job, remember?

Jimin and Jungkook exchange a glance, their playful expressions tinged with a shared understanding. They nod, their eyes never leaving yours as they silently agree to your request. But just as you start to relax, your actions come to a stop when you feel them guiding your hands downwards, placing them on their lower bodies.

Your breath catches as your fingers wrap around their growing hardness, the heat and firmness of their cocks hidden under their swim trunks pressing against your palms. Jimin lets out a shaky exhale, leaning in close enough that you can feel his breath against your ear. “I’ve wanted to feel you so bad for months now,” he confesses, his voice low and thick with desire.

Jungkook, not to be outdone, adds in a hushed tone, his eyes glinting with a dark sparkle, “Me too. You don’t know how much you’ve been driving us crazy.”

Their words send a thrill through you, intensifying the moment. You didn’t realize you were having this effect on them. You look at them both, their shared longing evident in their eyes. Slowly, you pull their members out from their swim trunks, your heart racing as you position yourself between them, sinking to your knees on the cushioned daybed.

Oh fuck…

The size difference even extends to their dicks. Jungkook’s is much longer, with veins prominent on its sides. Jimin’s is shorter, but the girth is insane. You can’t help but imagine how they’d feel inside your pussy. No, you can’t get ahead of yourself Y/N. Not yet at least…

With a mixture of boldness and anticipation, you lean down, your lips parting as you begin to lick at their members, starting with soft, tentative strokes of your tongue. The sensation of their heated skin against your tongue is intoxicating, their quiet groans spurring you on. You alternate between them, your tongue tracing the veins along their lengths, savoring the contrast in texture and taste.

Jimin’s breath hitches as you swirl your tongue around the tip of his member, the salty taste mingling with the slickness of your saliva. His fingers suddenly tighten in your hair, but he remains obediently quiet, the tension in his body evident as he struggles to hold back his angelic voice.

You shift to Jungkook, taking him into your mouth with a slow, deliberate sucking. His quiet sounds of pleasure are like music to your ears, the low hums of approval vibrating. His hands rest on your shoulders, his grip firm but not forceful, guiding you as you take him deeper, feeling the way his body responds to every movement of your tongue.

At the same time, your hand reaches out to Jimin, wrapping around his throbbing length. You start stroking him with a steady rhythm, making sure to keep him engaged, the sensation of your fingers gliding over his slick skin keeping his arousal high. Jimin’s breath hitches, his eyes half-lidded with desire as he watches you.

The two of them try their best to stay quiet, but the occasional gasp, lust-filled phrases or whispered name of yours slips out, betraying their growing need. 

“You’re so good at this PD nim…”

“Y/N, you’re so fucking fine…”

“Such a good girl, Y/N…”

“Fuck, right there…”

The thrill of their restraint only heightens your own arousal, driving you to explore them further, your lips and tongue working in tandem to bring them closer to the edge.

While working your mouth over Jungkook, you feel Jimin’s hand sliding up your body, his fingers brushing against your wet skin before cupping your breast. His thumb grazes over your nipple, teasing it to a hardened peak, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through you. The dual feeling—Jimin’s touch on your breast and Jungkook’s heat filling your mouth—intensifies the moment, driving you to pleasure them both with renewed focus.

The tension in the atmosphere thickens, all your quiet breaths turning into ragged gasps. You can feel the subtle changes in their bodies, the way their muscles tighten, and the way their grips on you grow firmer. The anticipation builds, and you know they’re close, teetering on the edge of release.

Jimin is the first to break the silence, his voice low and filled with need. “Y/N… can I come on your chest?” His eyes are dark with lust, the words almost a plea.

Jungkook isn’t far behind, his voice breathless and shaky as he adds, “And I–I want to come in your mouth. Is that okay?”

The heat in their words sends a shiver down your spine. You pause, looking up at them, their faces flushed with desire. 

“Y-Yes that’s fine with me,” You nod, your consent clear in your eyes and the slight smile that tugs at your lips.

With their requests granted, you resume your ministrations with renewed intensity. Your hands work in tandem, stroking their members with a firm, steady rhythm while your tongue flicks and teases them both. The taste of them lingers on your tongue, salty and intoxicating, driving you to push them further, to bring them to the edge of ecstasy.

Their breaths quicken, and you can tell they’re both struggling to hold back, to savor the moment as long as possible. But the pleasure is overwhelming, and soon their restraint begins to falter.

Jungkook’s voice is the first to crack, a desperate whisper as he warns you, “I’m close… so close…”

Jimin removes his hand from your hair. Instead, Jungkook’s hand, adorned with intricate tattoos and the bold "ARMY" inked across his knuckles, slides from your shoulder to your hair this time. The grip is firm and possessive, his fingers weaving into your strands with a fierce, almost primal hold. The veins beneath his tattooed skin pulsate as he uses his arm to guide you closer, pushing himself deeper into you with each powerful thrust. His tattooed bicep flexes with every movement, demonstrating his strength and control, while the rhythmic thrusts become more urgent.

Jimin's breath hitches as soft, erotic moans escape his lips, each sound laced with urgency to let go. His voice quivers, with a strained yet sensual whisper, “Me too… I’m going to come…” The words tumble out in a series of ragged breaths

With one last, deliberate stroke of your hand and a final suck, you push them both over the edge.

“F-Fuck!” Jimin lets out a guttural groan as he releases, his hot seed spilling onto your breasts, painting your skin with his pleasure. The warmth of it spreads across your breasts, the sensation almost surreal as you continue to stroke him, milking out every last drop.

At the same time, Jungkook’s hips buck slightly as he comes, the hot, salty taste of his release flooding your mouth. You swallow him down eagerly, your tongue swirling around him to milk him of every last bit. The taste of him lingers, warm and slightly bitter, but satisfying in a way that leaves you wanting more.

The sounds they make—those broken moans, the gasps of pleasure—echo in your ears, a symphony of gratification. Their bodies tremble with the aftershocks of their orgasms, their hands gentle but insistent as they guide you through the final moments of their release.

When they’ve finally come down from the high, their breathing ragged but steadying, they look down at you with a mix of awe and satisfaction. The sight of you, your chest slick with Jimin’s release and your lips still wet from Jungkook seems to stir something deeper in them—a shared sense of intimacy that goes beyond mere physical pleasure. Your fingers move instinctively, collecting Jimin’s release and bringing it to your lips, savoring the taste as you clean yourself, erasing the evidence of what just transpired. The sensation is both surreal and thrilling, the intimacy of the moment lingering in the air.

Jungkook's voice breaks through the haze, his tone a mix of innocence and desire. “PD-nim, can we do more with you?” His eyes sparkle with the same enthusiasm you’ve seen during filming, making it nearly impossible to deny him.

“H-Huh!? Oh…” you stammer, caught off guard. That look in his eyes—it’s almost impossible to resist. But a small voice in the back of your mind reminds you that you should be heading back before the other staff starts wondering where you are.

“C’mon, we’ll be quick!” Jimin adds, his voice smooth and coaxing, making it even harder to stick to your resolve. “We can eat you out, or we can penetr—”

Before he can finish, another voice cuts through the tension, startling you. “Oh… so that’s what you guys were doing?”

You turn your head sharply to see Taehyung standing there, now wearing swim trunks, with a smirk playing on his lips. Your heart races, the sudden realization hitting you like a wave. “Oh my God, I forgot about Taehyung…” you gasp, instinctively trying to cover yourself, though it’s far too late for modesty.

“Hey, I thought you were going to head to bed?” Jimin narrows his eyes at the slightly younger man. He must’ve been watching you all this entire time, he thinks.

He chuckles, an amused glint in his eyes as he takes in the scene. “I thought you guys were still playing in the pool or something… but I’m not surprised things ended up this way. You two are always up to shit like this.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, clearly unimpressed yet intrigued.

“Huh?” you manage to squeak out, your mind reeling. Always up to shit like this? What’s that supposed to mean–

Taehyung’s smirk deepens, and he steps closer. “Anyways, I’m bored. Let me join in too,” he says casually with a boxy smile, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I won’t disappoint heh~” 

He winks. HE WINKS! 

The three members of the BTS maknae line look at you deviously, waiting to pounce on you at your command.

“I don’t think we should be–”

“Are you sure?” Jimin and Jungkook say in unison.

“I… “ The title of the show is going to come back to haunt you.

“I’m not sure…?” You can’t find yourself to say no, having already gone to the deep end.

You will be closer to getting fired if you get caught at this rate, but to hell with it, “Okay, fine!” 

And immediately, they’re all over your body, reigniting the hidden flame in your heart that reminds you how much you loved them as a fan years before. You won’t survive this.

“Come over here,” Taehyung murmurs, his voice deep and commanding as he settles against the pillows of the daybed. He props himself up, making sure he’s comfortable, then motions for you to crawl in front of him.

Your heart races as you move into position, with Jungkook and Jimin on each side of you, their eyes dark with lust. The daybed is deep enough that you’re perfectly nestled between them.

As you get closer to Taehyung, you feel his hands sliding up your thighs, tugging lightly at the waistband of your bikini bottoms. You gasp softly, a thrill running through you as he pulls them down slowly, exposing your wetness. The sensation sends a shiver through you, heightening your anticipation and eagerness to get this over with. You lift your hips slightly to help him slide them off completely, leaving you fully exposed.

Taehyung’s eyes darken as he takes in the sight of you, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. “So beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice husky with desire.

He props himself up with the pillows behind his head, his hands settling on your hips as he guides you closer. “Sit on my face,” he tells you, his tone leaving no room for hesitation.

Your breath catches at the bold command, but the heat in his eyes, the way his hands grip your hips, sends a rush of excitement through you. You move to straddle him, your heart pounding as you position yourself over his face. Jungkook and Jimin remain close, their hands brushing over your body, adding to the growing heat between you all.

As you lower yourself onto his waiting mouth, the first touch of his tongue against your most sensitive spot sends a shockwave of pleasure through your entire body. 

“A-Ah~ T-Taehyung…” You gasp, your fingers gripping the daybed as Taehyung’s tongue begins to work its magic, teasing and tasting you with skillful precision.

Taehyung’s tongue explores you, from your clit to your entrance. His mouth working in a rhythm that leaves you breathless, and your body trembling with the intensity of it all.

Jimin and Jungkook are on either side of you, their hands moving to your breasts, where they each take a breast in their grasp. Their mouths soon follow, lips closing over your nipples as they begin to suck and tease you with their tongues once more. The dual sensation of Taehyung’s mouth on you and the boys’ attention on your breasts sends your mind reeling, pleasure coursing through you to unleash an orgasm. But you need to be patient and let it continue consuming you.

Jungkook’s hand slides down, tugging off Taehyung’s trunks with a practiced ease before wrapping his fingers around Taehyung’s impressive length. The sight makes your eyes widen, but you aren’t entirely surprised by their actions—after all, you’ve seen how touchy BTS are with one another. Even filming earlier in the day and even back in the States. But this? Seeing them work together to push you to the brink of pleasure only makes you even hornier.

And Taehyung’s dick… it’s massive, much bigger than the other two. The way his tan skin contrasts with the thick, veined shaft is mesmerizing, almost too much to take in. You can’t help but imagine what it would feel like inside you, making you ache with the anticipation of trying it next time.

Jimin, not to be outdone, reaches over to stroke Jungkook, his touch slow and deliberate, making sure to keep him just as aroused. His free hand slips down to touch himself, fingers wrapping around his own length as he matches the pace. The sensation of their hands moving in tandem, coupled with the attention they’re lavishing on you, makes your body tremble with need.

You ride Taehyung’s face, grinding down against his mouth as his tongue works magic on you, drawing out every ounce of pleasure he can. Your hands clutch the edges of the daybed for support, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you lose yourself in the sensations they’re giving you. Since you’re facing outwards, Taehyung’s hands slide down to grab your ass, squeezing the soft flesh as he pulls you even closer, deepening the connection between his mouth and your most sensitive spot. His grip is firm and possessive, his fingers digging into your skin as he devours you with renewed intensity. He gives it a slap, which makes you cringe before you go back to indulging in the pleasure.

The feeling of the two men’s mouths on your breasts, Taehyung’s tongue inside you, and the sight of their hands pleasuring each other is almost too much to bear. The pleasure builds to an unbearable peak, your body quivering with the need to release.

Jimin and Jungkook suck harder on your nipples, their teeth grazing them just enough to send jolts of pleasure straight to your core. Taehyung’s tongue flicks and swirls with expert precision, driving you closer and closer to the edge.

And then, finally, it all becomes too much. The pleasure explodes within you, sending you spiraling into an intense orgasm that leaves you gasping for breath. Your body tenses, your thighs clenching around Taehyung’s head as you ride out the waves of ecstasy, the sensation amplified by the boys’ continued ministrations.

As the last tremors of your orgasm fade, you collapse forward slightly, your body spent and trembling. Taehyung gently guides you off him, his lips slick with your arousal, and you fall onto the daybed, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook quickly follow, their own bodies shuddering as they reach their peaks, their releases mingling, landing onto each others bodies or the fabric beneath them.

Now the three of you lay there, breathless and spent, with limbs piled on top of each other. The air is thick with the scent of sex and satisfaction, however a yearning for more still remains. The outdoor area is quiet, save for the sound of your heavy breathing, as you all come down from the high of your shared pleasure.

Jungkook leans in close, his voice low and filled with unfulfilled desire. “I’m so eager to fuck you, but I’ll wait until tomorrow after the itinerary is done,” he murmurs, his eyes smoldering with lust as he looks down at you.

Jimin, still tenderly stroking your skin, adds with a soft smile, “We don’t want you getting into trouble, PD-nim. We’ll be patient.”

You manage a weak smile, your mind swirling with the aftershocks of what just happened. “How have the staff not conveniently come in to check on us?” you wonder aloud, your voice shaky with exhaustion and disbelief.

The three of them exchange a glance, a shared understanding passing between them. 

Don’t say that the staff are aware that they’re doing this…!? Taehyung’s words from earlier were already… odd, but you decide not to think too hard on it right now. You need to head back anyway, so let’s keep this drama-free, you think to yourself. Wouldn’t be the first time you hear about idols doing these things.

They begin to clean you up, wiping away the evidence of your intense encounter.  They’re gentle, their touches soothing as they take care of you, ensuring that you’re comfortable before helping you to your feet to get dressed.

They walk you to the door, each of them pressing a lingering kiss to your lips before they see you out, their eyes filled with satisfaction. You step out, your mind reeling from the events that just transpired.

“Oh my god…” you say to yourself in a whisper.

As you walk away from the daybed, you can’t help but wonder how you ended up in this situation—tangled up with the three members of BTS in a way you never could have imagined. The memory of their hands, their mouths, their words lingers with you, a heady reminder of the connection you’ve just shared. And though you know the risks, the dangers of what you’ve done, you can’t bring yourself to regret a single moment.

With a deep breath, you start heading back to your accommodation, telling yourself you still have more days of this show’s filming to go. And more chance encounters with them as well.

-

-

-

The End????

A/N: HAPPY SURPRISE ONE SHOT DROP! OKAY. ALSO I HAD PLANNED TO BLUE BALL YOU GUYS AND NOT GIVE YOU A TAE SCENE BUT RAE SAID I SHOULD WRITE IT SO I DID! I've seen all y'all thirsting over are you sure?! and honestly, the maknae line really FED US SO WELL WITH THIS SHOW. also never in my life did i think there would be no censoring of their bodies, but thank you god for allowing us to indulge in their beauty and cute antics lmao. if you somehow survived this and made it to the end, thank you for reading and please let me know what you think or like bc i was going THROUGH IT writing this 🥴 if it wasn’t good, i am so sorry for wasting your time. 😭

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[itsnesss]

hi can I please make a request for Axel Kovacevic. Just finished season 6 and I’m in love with him. I’m thinking super fluffy where he and y/n meet at the tournament and it’s like love at first sight. He can show her around Barcelona and maybe they finally kiss or something and with her teammate’s (Miyagi-Do ) reactions to their relation ship. Maybe also something with the huge fight at the end and the cobra Kai guy kicks y/n and axel goes all protective mode and comforts her after beating up the other guy. Sorry this is so long I’m just rambling😅

𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐚 | axel kovacevik × fem!reader

summary | they fall in love at first sight and he shows you places in Barcelona while confessing his feelings to you, a bit of reactions from his friends at Miyagi-Do

warnings | fluff, romance, emotional tension

word count | 1.5 k

Ever since you saw him defeat the Cobra Kai guys in the first match, something changed inside you. There was something about the way Axel fought: so direct, so confident, without hesitation. It wasn't just his combat prowess that had drawn you in, but the way he handled pressure, how he never lost his cool, and that commanding presence that seemed to control the space around him. The guys from Cobra Kai didn't stand a chance, and even though you'd been focused on your own matches, you couldn't help but admire the way Axel moved, with a confidence that was hard to ignore.

That day, after practice, you decided to go out and explore the city a bit. As you were walking down the hallway of the gym, someone caught your eye. You were surprised to see it so close, after having seen it sweep the tatami. He was even more impressive in person, but there was also something different about him. Despite her strong exterior, there was a much softer energy, as if her sincere gaze and reserved smile hid a sweeter and, oddly enough, shy side.

When his eyes met yours, a shiver ran down your spine. It was an instant spark, although you didn't understand what had caused it. Axel looked at you with that confident look, but also a little cautious, as if he wanted to know more about you before taking another step.

"Wow, a Miyagi-Do in person," he said in a soft tone, almost as if apologizing for his closeness.

You couldn't help but blush, though you tried to keep your composure.

"I'm not the only one," you replied, not thinking too much about what you were saying, but the words sounded almost like an apology.

Axel smiled calmly, but his gaze was different.

"First time in Barcelona?" He asked, and his voice had a softness that made you feel comfortable.

"Yes, it's impressive," you said, looking out over the city.

"Would you like me to show you around the city?" There's a lot more to it than the tournament here. "I can show you some of my favorite places," Axel looked at you with a genuine smile.

You were silent, feeling a mixture of confusion and attraction. You hadn't come to Barcelona for sightseeing, but something about their proposal made you think that maybe you needed a break. The city, the atmosphere... Everything seemed so different to you.

"Okay" Finally, you nodded, not quite knowing why, but with the feeling that you didn't want to let that opportunity pass you by.

Axel looked at you with a subtle smile as they walked through the streets of Barcelona together. They had already traveled through several areas, from Park Güell to the Gothic Quarter, and now they were near the Olympic Port, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere while the sound of the sea reached their ears softly.

In the middle of his walk, Axel, who until then had been somewhat reserved, suddenly stopped, looking at you in a way you hadn't seen before. There was something in his eyes, a faint glimmer of vulnerability that you hadn't noticed until that moment.

"You know?" He said, his voice soft, but somewhat more serious. "I know that, sometimes, I can seem intimidating and scary. All that Iron Dragons stuff, the attitude... Many see me as the tough guy. But, actually, I'm a mess when it comes to this." Axel pointed to the space between the two, as if he was referring to something bigger than the simple act of walking together. "You should get a little closer".

You were silent, surprised by his frankness. For a moment, you thought that what he had just said was a confession of insecurity, one that you hadn't expected from someone like him.

"Axel..." you whispered, before pausing for a moment, staring him in the eye. The intensity of his gaze made you feel as if time stood still. And, without thinking too much, you completed your thought: "I'm not afraid of you, not at all."

The relief on his face was immediate. Axel, who had been in a kind of silent tension up until that point, now seemed a little more relaxed. His smile widened, and his posture, which had been somewhat rigid before, now showed a confidence that you had not seen before.

"That makes me feel... Good," he said, and his voice was full of unexpected tenderness. It wasn't just about his words, but how he said them, as if he was sharing something important to him. "People always think that I am someone who is not afraid of anything. But the truth is that there are many things that scare me... And I'm not just talking about the fights or the tournament. There are things I've never known how to handle... like this." He waved his hand, pointing to the air between the two of them, but his gaze was still fixed on yours.

Your heart took a small leap. Although you didn't have a clear idea of what was going on between you and Axel, something in his sincerity touched you deeply. There was something about his attitude that made you feel that all of this, everything that was going on between you, was real. It was not just a whim of the moment or a game. There was something genuine, something that Axel had inadvertently let through.

You got a little closer, not knowing what to say, but feeling a need to be closer to him. Axel did not back down. In fact, he took a small step towards you, until both of you were only a few inches away from each other. The tension between you somehow disappeared. It was as if the world around them was fading away, leaving them both in their own bubble, oblivious to the noise of the city.

"I wish this wasn't just a moment. Don't just make it because of the tournament," Axel spoke again, this time with a seriousness in his tone that made your chest beat faster. You could see in his eyes that he wasn't playing, that his words were serious.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want you to see me as a distraction. Or as something that might interfere with your goal," you said, with a slight nervousness, but you looked at it with determination, as if you were looking for an answer, a confirmation.

Axel let out a soft laugh, almost as if he was telling you without words that you had nothing to worry about.

"I'm not seeing you as a distraction," he said with a calm smile

Then, without warning, Axel moved a little closer, until the touch of his lips touched yours. It was a soft, tender kiss, as if they were both tasting water for the first time, doubtful but determined. It was not a passionate kiss, but it was charged with a feeling of complicity and emotion that enveloped you completely.

When they parted, Axel took a deep breath, as if he had been holding his breath the entire time. His face was more relaxed, and his smile, though shy, was sincere.

You lost count of how many times you had kissed that night before and after arriving at the hotel, it seemed that you had become addicted to him in just a few minutes, unfortunately you both had to rest for the day that awaited you so without wanting to do so you went to your room without stopping thinking about him, and not a little about the consequences it could bring.

The next day was a challenge. The tournament was still everyone's main focus, but for you, there was something more important than competing. As you got ready in the hotel lobby, with your companions by your side, you couldn't help but think about what had happened between you and Axel.

Miguel, Sam, Robby, and Hawk arrived in the lobby, chatting about the fighting, but as soon as they saw you, Hawk's gaze didn't go unnoticed.

"Hey, is that true?" he asked you, his tone somewhat incredulous, but with a hint of curiosity. "Did we see you last night with Axel, the guy from Iron Dragons?"

The question made you pause for a second, your heart racing, as you tried to find the right words.

"What about that?" you replied, not wanting the situation to become more uncomfortable than it already was.

Hawk, frowning, didn't seem entirely convinced.

"Are you messing with that monster?" His tone was sharper than you expected, and for a moment you thought the conversation might become even more tense.

"Don't call him that, Hawk. You don't know him," you replied, defending Axel without a second thought. It surprised even yourself.

Sam, noticing the discomfort in the air, quickly chimed in with a reassuring smile.

"You have to leave it. If she likes it and is happy, that's all that matters" Sam looked at you with support, as if he wanted to defuse the situation before it got any more complicated.

Miguel also raised his hand, joking to lighten the atmosphere.

"Hawk, are you afraid that someone else will steal the limelight?" Miguel said, with a mocking smile, which made the tension in the group decrease a little.

Robby, with his usual calmness, took a step forward.

"Do what you feel is right, but don't let it influence the tournament," Robby smiled at you, trusting that you knew what was best.

"Look who says it," Miguel let out a small laugh, which lightened the atmosphere even more.

Hawk, though still with a somewhat reluctant expression, said nothing more. The atmosphere, although still tense, began to clear.

[icomeandg0]

Hiya! Saw your requests were open and since loneliness is consuming me bit by bit I decided to be courageous (for once😭)

Is it okay if I request some isekai reader x sleepy Sky cuddles? Like, the chain's at Skyloft, it's night, so they both just cuddle to sleep? Generalizing, ultra fluff. Super ultra mega fluff. Take your time, no rush🫶

(pls forgive me if this is incoherent it's my first time requesting something and english isn't my first language so I apologize if it's bad-🙏)

-⭐️

Hi Anon, Thank you for your request and I apologise for being away from writing for so long since of my exams but I'm back and I'm prepared to write the request I have.

I’m so sorry it took me this long, I hope you enjoy!

Content under cut:

~Skyloft Snuggles!~

An exhausting day!

The week hasn’t been easy either, constantly running into monsters, having to deal with some people’s problems around the villages you all encountered, also someone’s (won’t admit but it was yours) tent was damaged due to a monster raid so now you had to sleep in one of the other boys tent.

Sky was the first to suggest, rather quickly might you add but you were tired that night and you didn’t care.

You couldn’t help but realises that during the days, you liked sleeping near Sky. He was like a bear, once he was in a deep sleep he would drape his arms around you—as creepy as it may seem..it was nice and cozy. He was the perfect cuddle buddy.

But now you all were in Skyloft! You were particularly excited to see, you’ve seen the visuals in the game but seeing it right now, living in the moment? Felt perfect.

“Make yourself at home, Bazaar is in the centre of Skyloft so feel free to top up on items and potions” Sky smiles softly, “That sounds boring! What can you do on this tiny island?” Wind huffed as he looked around, despite Wind’s slight interest to check out the Bazaar he couldn’t help but feel the need to adventure again! A new place needs to be explored but a place this ‘tiny’?

“Well, I can show you my Loftwing.” Sky offered, Wind gasped. “Really?!” “Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve seen him so it’ll be good to go check up on him.” Sky looks over to you, “would you like to come?” You honestly would but you were exhausted, you wanted to sleep.

“No, I think I might head to the Academy to have a nap.” You informed earning a slight nod, “alright, we’ll be back” you watch as the two leave, Wind dragging the poor boy by the arm. You head towards the Academy.

————————————

You were greeted by Sun, Sky’s Zelda. She was as kind and gentle as Sky described her to be, “You must be Y/n! It’s nice to meet you, Sky’s told me a whole lot about you in his letters” Sun chuckles which made you flushed a bit, ‘Sky writes about you in his letters?’

“All good things I hope?” You replied jokingly, “Of course, he’s very poetic with how he describes you” now you were curious.

“Oh! You’re probably wondering where you’ll be sleeping for the next few days, we’ve occupied some rooms for vacant so you all have a room however, someone will need to bunk with someone but it’s okay! You don’t get to, you’ll have a room all to yourself” Sun says sweetly, you were relieved at that fact but also disappointed, sure you’ll finally have your own sleeping space but you’ve grown accustomed to sleeping near Sky and embracing him in the night.

You shouldn’t ponder much on the thought, it’s only for a few days anyways.

You didn't realize how tired you really were! Once you had woken up from your nap it was dark time. You probably missed dinner but that's fine, you weren't hungry at the moment but your mouth was dry. You pick up your water bottle and tried to take a sip but it was empty, off to the kitchen.

You find yourself at the sink filling up your bottle and once it was filled you took a sip.

————————————

"Mmm, Y/n?" You turn to see the one and only sleepyhead, Sky. "Sky, Why are you up?" You asked softly, trying to keep the noise to a minimum. "I can't sleep" "Why's that? You finally get to sleep by yourself again"

"Yeah, That's the problem"

That answer shocked you, mostly flustered you. "Problem? How?" "It's colder than usual, no matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking about having you close to me again" You had to contain the smile that was twitching to appear on your face.

You turn away from Sky, your back facing him as you close the lid. Either you’re dreaming right now or this is really happening, you never thought he would come clean like this and the fact he’s having trouble sleeping tonight because of you? Considering yourself a one of a kind!

You heard footsteps behind you and Sky had wrapped his arms around you lazily as he rest his head on your shoulders, “Please, come back to my room” Sky whispered gently in your ear causing a slight shiver to run up your spine.

“Well, at least let me get my things—“

“No, do that in the morning”

Sky hooks an arm under your leg and manages to hoist you into a bridal style carry as he walks back to his room.

He lays you back on his bed, he hops in the bed and tucks the blanket over top of you two, the softness of the blanket was a gently caress to your skin as you could already feel yourself feel lighter, feeling drowsy.

Sky’s arms wrap around your waist, lazily placed dropping on your body but you wouldn’t underestimate him, he’s stronger than he looks and he’ll yank you back if you stray too far.

“See how cold it was before? How could you let me go through the feeling of such loneliness and coldness” Sky pouts softly, “For Hylia’s sake, you’re the hero of Hyrule and you’ve already done that before we were forced into the predicament of sleeping together” you tease, booping his nose softly as you two had a light banter between the two of you.

You could tell he was tired, well normally you can but he was about to knock out soon. He plants a soft kiss to your forehead making you flush slightly. He decides to pull you in until your bodies are flush.

You couldn’t help but let out a small content sigh as you cuddled into him, you had to admit this was better than sleeping alone.

Bonus:

“So, who’s waking Sky up? I dibs not I did the last time.” Wind raises his hand as he calls himself out, he would fight against Ganon again instead of waking Sky up—Sheesh that boy gets so angry when woken up.

“Uh bad news, Y/n ain’t in her room..All her stuff has been left behind” Twilight says as he had a worried look plastered on his face.

“What? It’s only been a few hours, she couldn’t have been taken again.” Time muttered before he looked at everyone again. “Alright, Everyone scatter around, maybe she went on a stroll without telling one of us. Legend, you wake Sky up, he’ll know where all the hiding spots would be around here” with no further discussion everyone had left to find you.

————————————

Legend grumbled as he walks to Sky’s room, first he had to bunk with none other than Wind himself who didn’t stop snoring. Remind him to never bunk with Wind again, now he has to wake Sky, just great.

“Hey Sky—“ Legend opens the door to see not just Sky but you as well, snuggling close to Sky’s chest as he had his arm lazily wrapped around you. Legend stares at the scene in front of him for a bit…

He ponders on his choices.

Get Wild to take a Photo and blackmail the both of you

Or

Be nice and—

Hell no, forget option two. Legend suffered a night so you both pay the consequences.

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

POV: You are five, and are playing hide and seek with your papa. He always beats you in the game, but you are determined to win someday! Right now, he is counting to ten, so you are sneaking around in the hidden tunnels to find a hiding place. You wait for him to come. And he finds you...except it's not your papa. This...person, he looks like your papa, but he's not. Your papa always looked at you with tender eyes, but in this stranger's gaze, you see nothing but demented glee. You don't know why, but you can feel the fright slowly creeping on your back. And then he moves.

Hide and Seek

Summary: You always loved your weird papa. But you didn't know that one day you would be truly scared of him.

Warnings: yandere, kidnapping, dubcon, angst

Word count: 1930

Author's note: It took me a long time to finally reply to this ask. But damn, I'm so glad it didn't get lost on the page. And I was able to figure out exactly how I wanted to write this drabble.

Tag List: @druidwolf21, @kit-williams

And also I want @passionofthesith, @lemon-russ, @moodymisty, @beckyninja, @solspina to see this. Sorry guys, no horny atmosphere. Only fear and angst.

You lived in softness from the moment you were born. The entire floor was covered with warm and plush blankets, pillows. Not to mention the two beds. The entire room was covered with soft cute toys, with which you fell asleep by your side. Even your mommy, a kind and quiet woman, slept with toys in her arms.

You didn't see the world outside the ship. Mommy said that it was very dangerous there. She herself was from a planet that did not want to join the Imperium (you still didn't understand what that was). But daddy came and told them how to live correctly. He fell in love with mom at first sight and immediately took her to his place. To a safe place.

You always thought it was a romantic story. Although mom told you it very quietly. Sometimes she looked sadly at the ceiling and you wondered if she remembered her home planet? Perhaps she missed her parents, but now she has a new home. You and daddy.

Daddy didn't come around that often because he was a primarch. Papa told you that meant he was the most important. He had pale skin, black eyes and slightly dirty hair. His teeth were clawed and he always smelled of something metallic. Daddy said it was blood.

He looked a bit scary, but Mummy said it was because he worked a lot. But thanks to that, you and she lived so well. Your cozy room was soft and warm. Daddy always washed himself before coming in here. He didn't want to "bring dirt into his little paradise," as he liked to say.

He often played with you and had tea party. He told you stories. And he was always touching Mummy. Hugging her, kissing her. One time you woke up in the middle of the night when you realized that strange sounds were coming from the bed. Papa stroked her hair, saying how much he loved her, how obsessed (what does that mean?) he was with her. For some reason, Mom cried.

In fact, you didn’t see the whole ship from the inside (you didn’t even know what it looked like from the outside). Your whole life was concentrated in one room. And yet, when you turned four, daddy started taking you “to a separate compartment”. Especially just for the two of you. You didn’t know why he did it until he told you to hide and you happily ran to explore the territory. You just recently told papa that you and mom often play hide and seek. But there’s so little space that you quickly finish playing.

Then he quickly found you. And the next time. And the one after that. He was so fast and secretive. As if he was born in the dark! But you so wanted to defeat him one day. To hear the cherished “I can’t find you” and proudly come out of hiding.

Now you’re five. And before the next game, you thought about where exactly you would hide this time. In one of the tunnels. When you saw the black depths, you were scared of it and burst into tears. You were still afraid to go there. But… it’s such a good chance to win. Papa will never guess where you decided to hide.

***

It's very dark and creepy in the hole. In other hide-and-seek places, you sometimes giggled in anticipation. But here, you don't want to. It's very dark. And scary. You want to escape from here as soon as possible, but you endure it. You want to beat daddy at the game. And even though you haven't seen him, you felt like more time has passed than usual. But he still hasn't found you. You almost won!

A sudden rustle from behind interrupted your happy thoughts. Your heart pounded and goosebumps ran down your spine. You swallowed, trying with all your might to stay in place. No, you have to win. You can't leave this hole no matter how scared you are. But another rustle makes you squeak in fear. You turn around sharply, hoping to see nothing behind you. To overcome your fear and understand that you can survive this for the sake of victory.

You wanted to scream, but you couldn't make a sound.

There was complete darkness. And yet the black eyes and pale face stood out brightly, as if there was a ghost in front of you. The clawed teeth spread in a smile from ear to ear. The man himself was sitting on all fours, like a dog ready to pounce. Ready to tear you to shreds.

It was papa. No. It was papa's face. But it was not him. He no longer looked at you with gentle and kind eyes. His face was not sad as usual. He was beside himself with delight. Saliva was ready to flow from the corners of his lips, and excitement splashed in his eyes. And something else. A bad word that mom said in her sleep, when she had nightmares. Madness.

“Found.” - the monster whispered softly, as if trying to calm the girl. To make contact with her. To make friends. Before sinking his teeth into her throat. You saw, you saw this desire. It wanted to eat you. To absorb you. It wanted to take you into the darkness of the tunnel and never let you go.

And then it moved.

“PAPA, SAVE ME!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, closing your eyes, feeling tears streaming down your cheeks. You were sobbing like a little child. You were a child. Defenseless and abandoned to the mercy of a monster. Which immediately grabbed you in its arms and ran away laughing into the darkness of the tunnel.

Tears and snot ran down your face in disarray, you cried at the top of your lungs. But you didn’t even think about opening your eyes. You didn’t want to see this monster wearing your dad’s skin on its face. And yet, you couldn’t ignore the suffocating embrace of the monster’s stomach. How it giggled at your fear. It enjoyed it. Enjoyed your fear.

At some point, the monster slowed down and you felt it rise on two legs. Imitating a human. You weren't screaming anymore, your throat was hoarse. But you were ready to start bawling again, just so daddy could hear you. He had to hear, he had to save you.

“Here we are, home.” - the monster cooed in your ear. You trembled, but as soon as you heard the familiar creaking sound, hope appeared in your heart. - “Come on, delicious. Come to mommy.”

You slowly open your eyes and see your paradise. Your soft, toy-filled room. Books with children's fairy tales. Star-shaped lamps. And a little scared, but mostly sad mother. She sobs and stretches out her hands to you. Gentle, caring hands that always stroked you before bed.

"Come here, darling. Don't be afraid." - and her voice is gentle too. She looks only at you. Tries to ignore the monster.

But you are scared. And as soon as the stranger puts you down on your feet, you immediately run into the woman's arms. You hide in her chest, trying to ignore the evil giggling. The monster leaves you, locking the door. But you still hear his terrible voice.

“My girls.”

Your mommy gently rocks you on her lap, continuing to stroke you and kiss your forehead. You are still anxious. You want to forget this nightmare. And you calm down, surrounded by the care of a kind woman. Perhaps that is why daddy fell in love with her. Daddy…

“Mom.” - you finally raise your head and look at the woman with red, tired eyes. - “W-who is this man? Why does he look like papa? And where is papa himself?”

Your mother was always as quiet as a mouse. Neat and gentle, she did not attract attention to herself. She was often sad, especially when papa came. But there was light coming from her. Light that warmed and calmed you. You could always rely on her. But now she was silent. And this silence was tense.

You looked into her eyes and to your horror, you saw exactly the same fear there. Sadness. Despair. She was desperate. You hugged your mother tighter, rubbing her skin with your palms. Maybe she got cold? Maybe she needed to be warmed up?

“Mommy?” - you call her softly and she finally looks at you. But it doesn’t make it any easier.

“Oh, honey.” - your mom took a deep breath and you flinched at the way she said those words. As if she had met that person before. And not for the first time.

“You see, it’s… another papa.” - your mom explains to you softly, continuing to stroke your head. - “He doesn’t come often. I’m sorry you saw him like that. He didn’t mean to scare you.”

The woman said the last words so uncertainly, which made you press yourself closer to her.

“Does he hate us?” - you still remember his crazy look. His grin. How he giggled while you cried and called for papa.

“No, honey. He loves us. But he loves too harshly. Sometimes cruelly.” - you hear a quiet sob and understand that your mom is trying to hold back her tears. - “He’s just very lonely. And in pain. So he wants someone to share his pain with him. To calm him down.”

“And he can’t leave? "He can't leave us with our papa?" - you ask naively, expecting your mother to say the cherished "yes". That these are just temporary problems and daddy will cope. He is the primarch, he is the best.

But your hopes are shattered.

"No, dear." - your mother's voice sounds so quiet and hopeless that you want to hug her. To calm her down as she did you. - "This is your papa too. You will get used to him."

A sudden creak of the door scares you to the point of trembling. Your heart starts pounding like crazy and yet you turn around at the sound. You can't help but do it. You can't help but look because it seems to you that if you don't do it, he will get angry.

Absolutely black eyes are full of such universal sadness that a little more and you will suffocate. Papa did not smile and yet you knew that it was him. The ghost that haunted you. Who wanted to swallow you up and never give you to anyone. You wonder, maybe this is the real papa, and you saw daddy so often because you were little? Because he spared you? You didn't see him as often as mom.

And then it spoke.

"Are my sweet ones scared?" - you want to scream, you want to run away, but mom hugs you tightly, kissing your temple. You need to survive this meeting. And he will leave, leave. - "Well, it's okay, daddy is with you. He will protect you."

Night Haunter enters the plush room and carefully sits down with his two girls. He hugs you tenderly, but you want to cry. Daddy always smelled of blood, but he smells of death.

"Papa" - you squeak like a mouse, trying to reach daddy. Strange and sometimes frightening, but careful with you. Who smiled as if you and Mom were his whole life. Who had goodness in him, at least for the two of you. But Daddy is silent. Instead, a monster answers, a terrible creature who loves you just as much, which makes it even scarier.

“I'm here, delicious.”

[gemsofthegalaxy]

On Arcane and Dialogue - The Prison Cell Scene

one of the criticisms I've seen crop up in a few ways is that there should have been more talking in Arcane. More characters should have had conversations that touched on past issues, reconciled more directly, explanations should have been given for character's actions presumably by way of some type of exposition.

I don't... really agree with that for the most part.

Now, talking is great. I actually adore dialogue. As a fic writer it's one of my biggest strengths. But that's one of the funny things of the interplay between canon and transformative fiction- the less characters' say directly in canon, the more space I have to figure out "what would make them finally pony up and say this, though?". What situations can I put them in to speak their mind, or how else can they say this in a way that's not really saying it.

Obviously, that's not everyone's relationship to media and stories. So, I don't begrudge people wanting more dialogue or clearer explanations in general. I just don't think Arcane was ever a show that was going to prioritize speaking when showing felt like it would be enough to them.

To explore this a bit further, I'm looking at the scene where Vi and Caitlyn meet in the jail cell. I was shocked for a few seconds when I first watched it. That was really all they said, and then they were jumping each other's bones?

And then I watched it again.

It begins with Vi asking Caitlyn to say "I told you so" because she's still in the mindset that Caitlyn is working against her, does not agree with her, does not align with her values or trust her, or trust Jinx. Vi beats herself up about "choosing the wrong person", because she thinks that having gone against Caitlyn to free Jinx (and having Jinx run away from her) means she's already lost Cait again.

Side note- for the majority of this show past S1E3, Jinx has pit herself against Caitlyn by acting like Vi had to pick one of them because she was threatened by Cait at first, and then because y'know, she murdered Cait's mother. She thinks it's impossible for both her and Caitlyn to be in Vi's life at the same time. Vi, as evidenced by her saying she "chose wrong" seems to believe this, too.

Vi fully thinks she's lost both Cait and Jinx.

Caitlyn doesn't say "No, that's not true, you still have me." she could! she could have said that. But... Caitlyn is a very action oriented person, and so is Vi. Vi is incredibly protective and she does everything for other people. We see what she's like she doesn't have someone to fight for or with, or someone to search for; she's depressed, overdrinking, fighting in the pit in an aimless way because she doesn't have anything to orient herself. Is this healthy? Nah. but it's who Vi is.

Caitlyn, instead of saying "You have me", reveals that not only does Vi still have her, but, she orchestrated Vi's whole ability to get in and release Jinx by diverting the guards to the Hexgate. She's also revealing how well she knows Vi, and flirts with her by saying she's "predictable", to exhibit this.

in this moment, Vi's whole understanding of her situation shifts cataclysmically. Not only does she still have Caitlyn on her side, Caitlyn has decided that she can be in Vi's life at the same time as Jinx. Vi, the person who can't conceive of her life if she doesn't have someone to protect and do things for, had someone do something monumental for her. Caitlyn knows her, Caitlyn loves her, is willing to bend the law for her benefit, to put aside her hatred of Jinx and whatever complicated emotions she has for the woman who kidnapped her and killed her mother, to allow Jinx to walk free solely for Vi's benefit and literally no other reason.

that is why Vi is so overcome with emotion. So much so she doesn't want to waste time talking, she can only show her love and gratitude physically. She's had a rough go of it, lately, with only a few bright spots with Jinx and Vander and previously Caitlyn herself to really speak of. Has she really ever had someone stick their neck out like that for her?

Respectfully, I don't think this scene needs more talking. Vi's always been a punch first ask questions later (or while punching) person, she's always been oriented towards actions and not words. I think it totally adds up that Caitlyn's rather large gesture is accepted as is, what's an "i'm sorry" in the face of allowing her criminal sister to walk free just because Vi wants her to?

I think the minimal dialogue here is good, that that much can be revealed in a few simple lines because of the build up these characters have is actually a great feat of writing.

[raayllum]

a/n: set after 6x06 and heavily references 6x03 bc they were blessings

Sometime after they stop kissing — alright, they don't really stop, but languid silences, soft giggling, and sweet nothings fill some of the space in between kisses as they curl up together on his bed in the Starscraper — Callum asks, "So, what were you crying about on the Ray of Illumination?"

The sun is rising above the sea of clouds outside their bedroom window, and for a moment he regrets bringing up anything potentially sad, both of them happier than they've been in years, honestly. They have everything they need for her parents, his connection to Aaravos has been severed, the light and truth of her love filling the cracks in his heart, instead, and finally, finally she knows that his heart has always belonged to her. That it always will.

But he's always been curious, and he's always wanted to sooth whatever's troubling her, fix whatever is breaking her heart, and she'd had a good deal to cry over just a couple weeks ago — maybe even something from the last two years apart — and... he wants to know. He wants to help.

And, slowly, he thinks she's getting to a place where she wants him to be able to, where she'll let him.

"Oh, um..." Rayla averts her eyes, fingers tangled with his, but her smile doesn't dim. She sticks her tongue in her cheek. "It's a bit silly, really."

"Still." He uses his free hand to brush his thumb over the curve of her cheek, the blue bend of her marking, where he knows the tears would've fallen.

"Just an old diary written by the captain. Esme something. Stella pushed it open." Rayla scoots a bit closer and Callum lets go of her hand to wrap his arm around her, more than happy to give into her desire to be held; he never feels more at peace than when he's holding her, now more than ever.

The bump of the tip of his nose against hers as a gentle prod. "And?"

Rayla turns her face down, his lips brushing her brow, but he can still tell she's worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. He wants to angle his face down and kiss that worry away, draw her lips to his, but refrains. They have plenty of time, after all. To kiss, and rest, and prepare for their journey. It's close to dawn now, and Callum knows they won't leave till the day after tomorrow at least — they need supplies for the journey to the Nexus, recover from their trials, and to say goodbye to their new friends here.

Finally, Rayla explains, "She was writing during the last days of her life, on that ship I guess. About a man she left behind. Her one true love, Conrad."

"Oh." Callum pulls her further into a hug on instinct, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Just... resonated with me," she nearly sniffles, laughing weakly, but her smile is real and reaches her eyes when he glances down to check. "I'm sure you can imagine why."

"Lots of stuff about what she would've said if she saw him again?"

"Mmhm."

"Think I can relate to that too," he hums, giving her forehead another kiss. "I love you, Rayla," he repeats for what might be the millionth time that day, but he already knows he can never say it enough. He's always known that. "I'm so glad you came back."

She wraps her arms tighter around his torso, cuddling in closer, tension ebbing out of her and face half pressed to his scarf. "I'm so happy you're here, Callum," she sighs warmly.

"Always." He strokes her hair, wondering if she'll fall asleep like this—it always got her a little drowsy in the past—or if she'll let him weave her braid for her one of these days, musing, and then... "The Captain's name wasn't Esmerelda Skall, was it?"

Rayla lifts her head, brow furrowed adorably. "Er, yeah, it was. Why? How do you know that?"

"She was a famous explorer in the Human Kingdoms. Charted out a lot of our maps up north. My Dad—King Harrow—took me on a diplomatic mission once to Del Bar, where she's from, when I was eleven or twelve." There's a warm, content feeling blooming in his chest that he'll get to give her closure on this, too, somehow. "Conrad founded a town near the capitol and served as mayor. He named it after her. He loved her all his life—put a grave marker for her next to his when he died and everything."

Rayla's "Oh" comes out choked and small, but her smile is wide as she blinks back tears. "That's—that's beautiful. I guess he really—"

"—loved her?" Callum finishes, curling two fingers under her chin to lift her face for a moment. Then he brushes away the real tears trickling over, drawing her further into his snug embrace. Her breath is beautifully warm as it fans over his lips before he kisses her, soft and firm. "Yes. I really do."

[zenkindoflove]

So for the last two weeks I've been really contemplating my writing goals for the year. Reevaluating what makes me happy and what is intrinsically motivating. Gonna ramble a bit under the read more. But the jist is I'll be taking a fanfiction hiatus.

After I finished Let the Light Linger - I sort of had a bit of a crisis and needed to have a come to Jesus moment.

I started writing fanfiction again in October of 2023 because I was really pulled into Elucien and missed writing. Needless to say, the last year and a half I went hard. Harder than I ever have before. I wrote almost 500k words of fanfic and it was all really fun and exhilarating.

About 6 months ago though, I think a shift happened.

My desire to write canon compliant Elucien has been waning. I've done a lot of it, and told their story multiple times. And what I've realized is that ultimately I'm a lot more motivated to write Eris and Alexius or explore little weird AUs for Elucien instead like I did with Carrion Flowers.

And what that made me realize is that I'm not really interested so much in writing fanfic anymore. But rather - I'm more interested in writing original fiction (or Amanda universe fic lol). I think I keep setting up these new ideas and new WIPs distracting me because I've been nervous about going in that direction.

The fact that I want to live in my own world more - with my own OCs or my own heavily altered versions of minor characters like Eris - is really evidence that what I'm doing is not really writing fanfic anymore. But instead trying to fit my own original ideas into the fanfic medium because it's where I'm comfortable.

I think the biggest evidence was toggling between Let the Light Linger and Shackled. Shackled is doing really well in terms of popularity. Which I'm very grateful for. But I kept finding myself wanting to rush through writing chapters so I can write Let the Light Linger instead - which comparatively speaking is not popular at all. It's on par for how my Erixius fics tend to do but the audience for Eris x Male OC is small. And part of me was becoming a little resentful because I wanted my Eris x OC stuff to be as loved because I know it's excellent work.

And then I realized - you dummy. Of course people want to read your Elucien fic more. That is what an ACOTAR fanbase wants. It's what we are all here for. To explore the possibilities of the canon characters we already like. Which is something I had always known and rationalized and made peace with. But suddenly my emotions weren't fitting what I already knew. And I think that was the final push I needed to know that I am ready to write original work now.

It's time to follow what really is driving me instead of what I assume is expected of me. So, for now, my fanfic Shackled will be on hiatus. I might update it now and again if I'm feeling particularly motivated, but I really want to focus more of my time working on an original book. And probably what I'll do is take a lot of the hard work creating OCs that I've done in my Erixius fics and adapt them to this new world. Alexius especially deserves to live in his own space now. And my Eris is really an amalgamation of other characters that I've loved before that are like him. So needless to say, who I create for Alexius is going to be very similar 😂. Alexius needs a grumpy guy to his sunshine.

I certainly won't be leaving the fandom because I need this ding dong Elucien book. And I'll still be reading fanfic and replying to anyone who does go and read my works and leaves comments. And you might get surprise chapter updates or oneshots from me if I'm feeling any of that motivation. But regular updates won't be happening anymore.

[redshoes-blues]

Emotional Time Travel: How Will Byers Controls Time in the Upside Down

"We are all time travellers, if you think about it."

Buckle up, everybody, this is gonna be a long one! :)

Over a year ago I wrote an analysis on the references to clocks throughout Stranger Things, and looked at how this connects to the show's specific form of time travel. This post is a bit of a redo of that original analysis, but this time I'm focusing on the idea that emotions have the power to alter the movement of time. And not only this, but Will Byers specifically has the power to control time in the Upside Down.

From the clock symbolism throughout the show to the time travel references, it’s clear that S5 is going to delve fully into the way the Upside Down operates; more specifically, I suspect we'll finally get answers to the question raised last season—why is the UD stuck on the day Will vanished?

I have some ideas on how that might work, and it has to do with emotions, which are described in ST as a way to time travel, as El says it best herself in the opening of S4: "We are all time travellers, if you think about it."

[CW: this will delve into the various forms of trauma and abuse faced by Vecna's targets in the show]

The Vanishing of Will Byers: Time Travel and Dimension X

First of all, let's deal with the obvious. The Upside Down, aka Dimension X, is a dimension that is stuck in the past. This is tied directly to Will Byers, given that it exists perpetually as the date he vanished. Therefore, entering the Upside Down is a form of interdimensional time travel.

To me, this could work in one of three ways, although a combination of these factors could also be at play here.

First, the UD could be a fixed point in time. A place where time doesn't work. It acts as a set piece, where characters can move around and exist within, but otherwise, it remains the same. In this case, it is quite literally frozen from the moment Will is taken. However, there are some things in the UD that do change. The weather, for example. Or vines that move and grow. So it's really hard to say how the fixedness would work. Perhaps, if this is the case, time is fixed and frozen, even non-existent, but space isn’t.

Second, is the idea that the Upside Down exists as a time loop. How long the loop would be, we don't know for sure. All we know is that the UD is stuck, somehow, on November 6, 1983. Maybe the loop is a single day long. Maybe it goes on for the entire duration of Will being missing. Either way, the time loop is certainly a plausible theory for how time operates in the UD.

Another important thing to consider is S5's use of A Wrinkle in Time as a source for inspiration, which brings me to the third way that time could operate in the Upside Down. Now, it has been awhile since I read AWIT, but there's an important concept in that novel called a tesseract. This is basically a way of travelling through time and space, to a fourth dimension. Looking at ST, this seems like a likely culprit for what's going on with the UD, which would be a sort of fourth dimension in this case. Vecna as much as says the UD is a fourth dimension himself:

"I became an explorer. An explorer of a realm unspoiled by mankind. I saw so many things, and one day, I found the most extraordinary thing of all."

But Vecna isn’t the only one to explicitly refer to the Upside Down as another dimension/realm. The government call it “Dimension X,” and the Party refer to it as the “Shadow Realm” pretty early on, an analogy to D&D’s location of the same name.

Now, I went googling for a description of the Shadow Realm, and I found this one that is very telling: “The Shadow realm is a realm caught between the realms of the living and the dead, a place where the boundaries of time and reality blur.” [link to article]

Looking at the UD, this absolutely makes sense as the location of choice that the Party (aka, the writers) chose to compare it to. As we’ve discussed, time does blur in the UD, and things don’t always happen as they would in Hawkins (there are strange storms, cosmic horror style monsters, etc.). Perhaps, in this realm, time itself doesn't even exist in a way that makes sense to us.

Now, going back to Vecna, we see that this sort of fourth dimension where time doesn’t exist as it should is exactly what he wishes to achieve.

On his motivations, Henry Creel says this: "Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. Decades. Each life a faded lesser copy of the one before. Wake up. Eat. Work. Sleep. Reproduce. And die."

Clearly, he feels burdened by the limitations of how time functions in the real-world. This is why, he explains, "I became an explorer."

Now, the Upside Down we see him enter is very different from the one that Will is taken to, and the one we see from S1 onwards. There are two people we know that may be responsible for this change in appearance. Either Vecna shaped the world to his liking, or Will did.

Maybe it's a both/and situation. After all, we know Vecna has powers and has been communicating with the Mind Flayer (who seems to be a sort of eldritch/cosmic god/force of the UD) for years. However, it is Will's vanishing that shapes the "time" of the Upside Down.

Will vanished on November 6, 1983, which is the same day that the UD is stuck on. This means that the Upside Down is inexplicably tied to him. Why it's tied to him is hard to say. He's the first kid Vecna kidnapped, and it is very interesting that he didn't just kill Will like he does his other victims: there's something different about Will.

I'll get into that later, but for now, what does this mean for Hawkins, where the UD is beginning to leak out of the gates?

As I mentioned previously, it's clear that one of Vecna's goals is to create a world that is "unburdened" by time's constraints. As the gates open up, we see a clock turning backwards (see: gif above), which may represent how time is slowing down or ceasing to exist the same way it always has.

If we want to get metaphorical about how time functions in Hawkins vs. the Upside Down and Vecna's mind lair, just look at the first sign of someone's Vecna vision, which is represented by a chime of the Creel house clock. For Vecna's targets, time is literally running out. Not only because they're about to die in Hawkins, but because they're about to enter a dimension where the passage of time does not exist.

"We Are All Time Travellers": Emotions Alter Time

Let's back things up a little bit.

Last spring, I was rewatching S4 to look for any references to time travel (turns out there's a lot of them when you go looking for them). It didn't take long for me to get a reference. In fact, there's one in El's opening monologue, as part of her letter to Mike.

"Dear Mike. Today is day 185. Feels more like ten years. Joyce says time is funny like that. Emotions can make it speed up or slow down. We are all time travellers, if you think about it. For example, this week is going very fast because I am so busy..."

In one sense, El's line here is describing how time can literally feel fast or slow depending on how we feel. For example, if we're busy and happy, time often goes by fast, but it we're upset, time can feel slow. Of course, I believe this line also has a deeper meaning that foreshadows what we later learn about the Upside Down being tied to Will’s vanishing.

It's no coincidence that in the season whose villain is represented by clocks, who is tied to a dimension where time is wonky, and who feels burdened by the existence of time, this opening scene mentions time travel directly. It's also important that El says this line. She's the one who opened the gate in the very first scene of the season, after all. She's also the one who goes through the NINA program, which is essentially sending her back into time (through her memories) to access her powers again. Isn’t it interesting that revisiting her traumatic experiences is what restores her powers?

If we take what El says literally, emotions actually have the power to speed up or slow down time, and not just our perception of it, depending on which emotions are felt. This bit about emotions is vital. As we know, the UD is shaped around Will's vanishing, which is a traumatic experience that he continues to deal with for years after it has occurred.

Now, this begs the question: did time in the UD slow down because Will left an emotional imprint on the landscape via his childhood trauma?

Again, it isn't a coincidence that Will's vanishing is the day that the Upside Down is stuck on. The "demogorgon"—which is pretty obviously going to be revealed to be Vecna—took Will into this fourth dimension, traumatizing him in the process.

All of Vecna's victims in the 80s timeline are also victims of trauma and/or abuse in their childhoods. Chrissy and Patrick have an abusive parent, and Fred has trauma from the car accident. Max has mental health issues and a complicated family life that we see in detail—an abusive brother whose death she blames herself for, suicidal ideation, a dad who isn't in the picture, a mom who becomes an alcoholic, and that's not to mention the inherent traumatizing circumstance of living in poverty. Will is also implied to have been abused by Lonnie, who called him homophobic slurs and turned into an awful deadbeat who doesn’t accept that his son doesn’t follow traditional masculine gender norms; he's also bullied at school for being different.

Each of these victims of abuse and/or trauma are all targets by Vecna. They have that in common. And we know that Vecna is targeting these kids on purpose because we see him sifting through his mind lair to select his next candidate. How does he do this? By looking at these kids' experiences and selecting someone vulnerable.

After Patrick is killed, Lucas and Max say as much when they discuss Vecna's motivations. To them, to be hurt us to be haunted:

Lucas: "It's like everyone Vecna targets has something in their life...something that's—"

Max: "Hurting them. Haunting them."

With this in mind, it begins to look as if Vecna is using the trauma and hurt of these kids because their emotions are strong enough to create gates, and therefore to alter—or even slow down—time.

Interestingly, the psionic powers of the lab kids seem to be impacted by their emotions as well.

Dr. Brenner tells the kids in the NINA memory to not use their emotions, but it’s One’s advice to El—to focus on something that makes her angry and sad—that helps her win the battle against Two. Brenner is so angry at One’s interference here that he tortures him for it. We know that Henry Creel was the original kid with telepathic powers who was experimented on. Somehow, Dr. Brenner learned to develop powers in these other kids, but it’s Henry/One who first received his powers from the Mind Flayer. Even as a kid, he understands that channeling negative feelings makes his powers grow stronger.

Before we look at why I believe Will is the only one truly capable of restoring the Upside Down to the way it was before, aka Dimension X, I want to dive a little bit deeper into Vecna’s targets themselves.

The Trauma of Vecna's Targets

There isn't a single main character in this show who isn't traumatized, hurting, haunted, or a victim of various societal pressures and/or forms of oppression. This isn't an accident. These themes are built into the show on purpose. Sometimes they aren't handled as well as they could or should be, but they're certainly present.

When we look at Vecna's victims, the reason they were his "perfect" targets is because of their vulnerability.

Lucas suspected Patrick was dealing with abuse at home, but Patrick never talked about it with anyone. Same with Fred's guilt about the hit-and-run. He's terrified of the idea that he'll be found out, so he never tells anyone about his visions. In the case of Chrissy, her own boyfriend has no idea about what she's going through, and she turns to drugs for an escape from her pain. If Max hadn't confided in her friends about her visions, equipped with her knowledge of Vecna and the Upside Down, then she would have had the same fate as them.

So, not only are Vecna's victims people who have something in their life that is hurting or haunting them (trauma, abuse, mental health issues, etc.), but they are also actively repressing these emotions. With this, I think the writers are trying to say that opening up about what you're going through with other people who care about you is vital to your survival and well-being.

Healing from trauma requires you to confront the emotions and/or experiences many people would rather suppress. I think El is a good case study for this. She is very clearly a traumatized character who is a victim of child abuse. Much of it is stuff she doesn’t actively remember, because she has repressed it, as we see in the NINA project. But despite her repression, the trauma, those memories, are still with her. She believes she's a monster, and she carries this guilt around with her for years. But El is also very resilient.

In fact, she confronts her trauma head-on in the NINA project. She relives her abusive childhood, the bullying she experienced, and the massacre, and she comes out of it a stronger person—even though she doesn't beat Vecna this time around, because she’ll require the help of someone else who is deeply tied to the UD if she wants to beat him.

Looking back at what Henry Creel knew from a young age, that his pain and experiences could be a source of his power, it becomes clear why he’s killing all of these traumatized kids. He’s doing so to harness the power in those experiences, perhaps because their emotions will affect the UD and cause time to slow down.

However, when El talks about emotions as a way to time travel in the beginning of S4, she isn’t just referring to negative emotions like boredom or sadness, etc. She also refers to positive emotions which make time move faster. If Vecna used his targets’ trauma to slow down time—originating with Will’s arrival in the UD—then maybe it is positive emotions, like love, acceptance, and healing, that will undo the changes Vecna has made in the UD.

Will The Wise: Why Will Byers is the Antidote

Will's connections to the UD are my main reason for believing he is the key to defeating Vecna. It began with Will, and it will end with him, too.

This is also supported in the text.

D&D always forms a direct analogy to the events that happen in any given season of Stranger Things, and it's through the lens of D&D that the Party describe the happenings in the Upside Down. For example, Will rolls a 7 in the first episode of the show, and tells Mike that "it [the demogorgon] got me." Later, the creature we're told is a demogorgon does get Will.

So, that's why the D&D campaign run by Eddie in S4 is very interesting, as it serves as foreshadowing for the rest of the season. An 11 is rolled first. This is a miss. It isn't until Erica—who is an unlikely hero in this campaign—rolls a 20 that Vecna is defeated.

It's crazy foreshadowing that an 11 is rolled, which isn't enough to defeat Vecna, in the season where Eleven is not able to defeat Vecna on her own, despite her powers being stronger than they've ever been. That's because power isn't the only thing at play, here. And we don't know yet who will be the Erica in this story, the underdog who will swoop in and join the fight, being the unlikely hero to defeat Vecna, but I think the missing piece will be Will.

It's like Dustin said in reference to his drawing skills (interesting, because when Will drew to solve the puzzle before, it was directly related to his connection to the Upside Down): "we need Will."

This brings me back to the main point of this analysis. If emotions alter time—with traumatic memories causing time to slow down, and causing Vecna to gain power—and if the Upside Down is shaped around Will's trauma, then confronting Will's trauma is crucial to Vecna's defeat.

Everything goes back to Will. To the moment he entered the UD on November 6, 1983. The very day the Upside Down is frozen on is the same day that Will's trauma began. By experiencing his trauma and imprinting those emotions onto the dimension, did Will quite literally grind time to a halt in the UD?

I certainly think so. And we've already seen a little bit of how positive memories can be used to fight against Vecna. Music is shown to carry positive memories and emotions, almost forming a shield around a person, as was the case for Max and Will, who were able to fight back through the power of music. If we take this a step further, it makes sense that healing from his Upside Down trauma, would work as a sort of antidote to Vecna, who feeds off of people's trauma. He only targets people, haunts them, if they are hurting. Heal the hurt, and he has no use for you any longer.

Functionally, this could work a number of ways. I think it could work by Will re-entering the UD and bringing positive emotions with him. Maybe the UD would reshape itself again, this time in a more positive way, removing the "rot" that has existed there since Will first entered. After all, Dimension X does not appear to be inherently evil like the Upside Down, it’s only when it begins to shape around trauma that it changes and rots.

Some Final Thoughts

If we consider that it was Vecna who took Will, then it’s clear that Vecna's goal isn't to kill Will. In fact, in S2, Dr. Owens asks Will if the evil wants to kill him, to which Will responds that the Mind Flayer wants to kill "everyone else."

Why? Because Will has powers that Vecna wishes to exploit for his plan. Because, by keeping Will and his strong connection to the Upside Down alive, he caused the Mind Flayer to enter Will, giving him the ability to feel what it feels—and later, in S4, to feel what Vecna feels.

My speculation, given all of the similarities between Will and Henry Creel, is that Vecna hopes Will will come to see his view as the correct one. He recognizes that Will is treated differently, that he’s an outsider, and he wants to exploit this to have Will join his side. Like the Emperor to Anakin, and later Luke, Vecna doesn’t actually care about Will: he’s manipulating his emotions to access his power. He didn’t keep him alive out of the goodness of his heart. He kept him alive because he knows that Will’s emotions have the power to alter time in the UD.

Killing Will simply wouldn’t serve his purpose of using his trauma to keep the UD stuck in time, grinding it to a halt.

Because, if Will’s emotions have the power to imprint on the Upside Down to the degree that he shapes the way an entire dimension appears and operates, everything begins to make sense. That’s why Vecna kept him alive: to continue his plan of removing the burden of time from the world. That’s why the UD is shaped around him. And that’s why Eleven could not defeat Vecna on her own.

Will controls time in the Upside Down. He shapes it through his emotions and experiences. His fear and trauma slowed down the movement of time, so, if Vecna is to be defeated, it only seems plausible that healing from his trauma, learning that he is loved and accepted for who he is—that he’s not a mistake—will have the opposite impact. By doing so, time will speed back up in Dimension X, healing it in the process.

In the end, everything began with Will. It was his vanishing that kicked off the story we’ve followed for what’ll be five seasons. And it’ll be him that brings an end to everything, as well.

Author’s Note

Thank you to everyone who stuck around and read this whopper of a theory/analysis! Writing it has been a long (but very fun) process. I started writing this about three weeks ago, as a rewrite of my old clock theory with more of a focus on how I think the UD functions, but then it grew into a beast of its own. I just couldn’t help it! When I get a meta idea about Will in my head, I can’t not write thousands of words about it lmao.

That said, I always love to read other people’s thoughts on these theories—it’s truly the best part of our little community on here. So please, feel free to add onto this if you have any ideas! :)

—Em

[goldsbitch]

Right? p5

summary: Y/N is a photographer for McLaren F1 team. Hard working, goal oriented professional who would never put her career in jeopardy for some stupid crush, right?

That is until a photoshoot gets out of hand and there is no way to go but forward.

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

warning: 18+ i guess?, shorter than usually, but oh well

Arriving late was not something you particularly enjoyed. Almost half an hour after the big speech, which included the top management and few important people, Lando included.

You were off duty tonight and seriously contemplated skipping this altogether. But what's bad about one drink at one of Monaco's fanciest villas. There were some races which seemed to be more about the glam around it, rather than the actual racing. Unlike Lando, who seemed to be glowing around and luring people in to come and talk to him, you were in no mood for that. Avoidance was the theme today actually.

You opted to hang out at the second balcony, overlooking the pit where all the magic seemed to be happening. People mingling, laughing, drinking and networking. Normally, you'd be too, you thrived in that on a good day. But, the vibe was nice, so what the hell. You certainly were not following every Lando's move. That would be a bit strange, right? The casual monitoring was alright, you'd convinced yourself. Even that grew a little boring after a while, so you spaced out back to the forest. Why did it have to be him - spotlight seemed to follow him. Impossible to catch a moment. When will you be able to talk to him again?

A hand touched your hip, coming from behind. You knew immediately. The scent, the way he touched you and even the shadow gave him away.

"Be careful," you whispered. You slowly explored the surroundings for any prying eyes.

"I'm always careful. You'll see that soon," insinuating the type of thoughts your head had him only projected to these days. His hand moved to your thigh. "You clean up pretty nicely, by the way. Except...would you have a look at that," he reached to your hair and pulled out one tiny branch, no longer touching you. "Where did you get that?"

You took the branch out his hands, making sure to hold his hand a little longer than a friend would. You leaned in and whispered: "That branch is really dry. That can't be mine." And you walked away with hope that his mind was in a similar position as your has been the whole evening.

The evening changed its course, you mingled with your colleagues and opted for having fun. Making Lando jealous was the new plan. Testing the limits, just out of pure boredom. You hoped he was watching, otherwise all of this flirting and friendly touching was for absolute nothing. But you knew he was watching you, just as you were watching him. This cat and mouse dance went around for almost an hour. Cheap tricks you had in your arsenal were in a direct contrast to the vibe this evening was suppose to have. The two of you encountered again, standing next to one another at the buffet table.

"I hope I'm the only one who can see what you're doing."

"Must have been the alcohol, right?" you said mockingly. "Does that sound convincing? So that I have a response if anyone asks tomorrow."

"Second last door upstairs, on the left. Leave now and we'll see, might come and join you," he said walking away immediately. And like a little puppy you did as he requested.

You entered a small room, making sure you were not followed or anything. You dared not to wonder what usually happened in this kind of room. Tipsy mind and racing heart is a dangerous combination. So once he finally joined you, after what felt like a century, you did not wait, ready for your usual make out session. There was a reason why you "forgot" your lipstick tonight.

"Na-ah," he stopped you, which was very uncharacteristic of him. You froze, not sure what he was going for. Did you do something wrong?

Lando locked the door.

"I see what your doing, Y/N. How you move to tease me, how you flirt with other guys, out of the blue...Now that's not what good girls like you do, am I right?" he walked towards you and slowly backed you up to a table and did not stop when his body started to press on yours.

"Not enough things to stimulate the mind, I guess." You were barely focusing on replying, his hand circulating around your body like a vulture was your main concern.

"Are you saying everyone here is boring?" he asked without wanting an actual answer. Both of you were just slightly braved than you were in the past few days. The eagerness finally crept out and neither one of you had the intention to stop it. Lando had the upper hand today, that much was obvious. He held you, found the hem of your dress and shamelessly explored your underwear. Desire swept over you.

He abruptly removed his hand. "Am I boring you?" he said smirking. Before you could gather up your two active brain cells for an answer, his eyes deadlocked with yours as he put his two fingers gently into your mouth.

"Cat got your tongue?" You licked his fingers without needing to be instructed. You never needed or even wanted to be called a good girl. With him, you were moment from begging for it.

"I have a tongue, if you're interested."

He went back, twisted your panties in his fingers and inserted two into you. At first he moved slowly, reading your face carefully, maping out your reactions. "And what about now? Still bored?"

You were wet, oh you were so wet you felt ashamed. His fingers moved in you and if you had had the capacity, you would have wondered how was it that he was making the perfect moves without your guidance. But you didn't, so one less thought to bother you today. If this reaction was caused only by his fingers, you dared not to imagine his tongue on any part of your body.

"But looking at that, this is working just fine enough. For now." He held you while you were getting lost in the moment. Just as it started, it ended. Quickly. You were about to finish - and he must have known that. Oh he knew. He smirked on the way to the door.

"Let me know if you're bored again," he winked at you before unlocking.

You were left sitting there with a clouded mind and a body that wanted more. A smile crept on your face, how easy did this guy have it with you was almost embarassing. Fortunately enough, you checked your dress before leaving. His little play left a wet stain on the back of your light green dress. Having no other choice, you laughed at the absurdity of the situation. To solve that matter, you spilled your red wine on the light green dress, making it look like someone crashed their drink into you - well, it would require some acting on your part to sell it properly. Lando Norris officially owed you a new dress. And his tongue all over your body.

//

You walked down, hoping everyone was minding their own business not to pay too much attention to your red wine stain. The plan was to say quick goodbyes and go home - and finish yourself alone. Reviewing work photos was never this much fun before.

Lando watched you as you walked down again, amused at the damage done to your dress. He raised his glass to you as you were walking by. Your boss stood right next to him, his back turned to some other people you could not care less about right now.

"I came to say goodbye," you said politely to you boss.

"Ah, shame life of the party!" he proclaimed.

"Yeah," you pointed to your dress, "someone walking by me had too much wine so they wanted to share. Plus, I am getting tired and these types of events can get a little boring after a while. Can't wait for the real action," you said, knowing well enough Lando heard you.

"Workoholic as always, that's why we like you, Y/N. Have a great night," wished your boss.

"Oh, trust me, I will. See you tomorow."

A text popped on once you were outside the villa. Lando.

"Hope you'll be thinking of me during the night. I can still smell you on my fingers."

You replied few minutes later. "Will do...I'll let you know once I've finished."

"Oh, please do."

And you did. Hoping that Lando touched himself too.

part 6

_______________________

@i-wish-this-was-me @lqvesoph @ophcelia 

[brandwhorestarscream]

I need the whole story of D-16 and his sparkling with Sentinal! It's such an amazing story. Take ur time tho.

Well thank you for saying so, that's so sweet! And I'm pleased to announce that I'm givin ya'll the next chapter here and now!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

They have suffered enough for one day.

Alpha Trion departs swiftly, disappearing out through the tunnel they had explored to get here, leaving the four of them in solitude. They cling to each other in the darkness, exhausted and sick and hopeless. Orion and D-16 remain wound tightly around one another, the silver mech continuing to tremble with the stress of everything bearing down on him. Orion holds him, fully with both arms, wrapped as tightly and securely around his body as they can, keeping Dee snuggled against his chassis. Dee clings to him, desperate for comfort that isn’t coming, hiding his face in the underside of Orion’s neck. His EM field throbs weakly, sluggishly, exhausted even as potent grief and fear gushes off of him and contaminates the air around them. It’s impossible to escape, and the four of them stew helplessly in the aura of misery. They’re all contributing toward it, but none more than D-16. It’s just too much.

Alpha Trion finds them just where he left them, huddled together like frightened nestlings that flinch at every little sound, and their optics are full of fear when he returns, til they notice it’s him. Then the fear abates, replaced with longing and misery that he can’t soothe.

The fuel their guardian has brought is in liquid form, to their surprise. The energon they stripped from the mines was all solid, and even after processing became squishy and malleable, like thick petroleum jelly. Capable of holding it’s own form without assistance, but easy giving out under the force of pinching fingers. This wasn’t at all like that: it sloshed and splashed within the old cube, and was steaming, little ribbons of heat curling off of it and into the air.

“You first, Dee,” no one protests Orion’s insistence, propping his friend up. Dee has by now gone limp, optics faded and empty as he struggled to process everything, and the horrible, gnawing pressure of the choice he faced. Orion shakes him gently, but it’s like his friend can’t even hear him, optics listless as they stare deeply into space, as if he’s watching something a thousand miles away. Orion jostles him again. “Dee…? H-Hey, come on, you’re scaring me-!”

“Do not panic, little one.” Alpha Trion reaches out and gently presses the tip of one finger to D-16’s forehelm, and the silver mech jumps. His optics snap up to the old Prime, trance broken, and his expression remains blank for only a second before it crumbles back into devastation. He sobs, and turns away to curl further into Orion, shoulders shaking again. Orion rubs his back, laying his chin atop the other’s helm as his own optics sting.

“Dee…” Orion sniffles. “I-It’s time to eat.”

They shuffle around for a moment, and finally, Dee’s tearstained face peeks out, the epitome of misery. Oily tears dried and caked to his face, vents still shuddering and hiccuping and leaking little bits of backed up cleanser. His mouth is downturned, lips still trembling, optics narrow and sore from so much crying. He hiccups, clinging tightly to Orion. He swallows, and rasps out his first words since Onyx Prime had left them. “I…” his voice cracks grandly, tone hoarse and stuffy. His systems are clogged. “I’b not- h-hungry…”

“C’mon, you’ve gotta be hungry,” B-127 speaks up, wringing his servos worriedly. The journey here had taken them multiple days, and D-16 had been violently ill the entire time. He had to be running on empty! There was hardly anything left in his tanks to throw up, and- “Ohhh, I get it. You’re scared you’re gonna vom again, ri-”

“Don’t-!” Dee covers his mouth, optics squeezed shut. “P-Please, don’t…”

Onyx Prime’s blessing had chased away the worst of his symptoms, for now, but it wouldn’t last forever. For the first time in several decacycles, his digestive tanks weren’t sloshing and roiling like a stormy sea, but they were still incredibly tender and sore from all the abuse they’d endured. He was sure, if he tried to refuel, it would just come back up. His fuel gauge was at a measly 7%: any further and he’d probably drop into stasis lock, but the idea of food was downright revolting.

“You must try, little one,” Alpha Trion implores him. “You will not recover if you are starving.”

Dee’s systems make a high pitched keening noise, and Orion gently rubs his arm. “...please, Dee?” he asks, voice soft and hesitant. “Just try? For me?” He picks up the cube in one shaking servo, raising it to the silver mech’s face. Dee’s expression remains pinched and uncomfortable, and Orion gives him a gentle squeeze. “C’mon… one sip?”

Nearby, Elita huffs when D-16 still shakes his helm. “Well, I’m not refueling until you do.”

That gets his attention. He turns toward her, confusion painted on his face. “What are you-”

“If you’re going on a hunger strike then I am too,” she folds her arms in challenge, brows furrowed and lips pulled into a tight pout. “If you’re gonna try to starve yourself to death then I’m gonna starve to death, too.”

“Oh oh, oh! Me too, me too!” Bee eagerly waves one arm in the air. “I’ll go on strike too, I’ve always wanted to do a strike!”

D-16 glances back and forth between them, looking panicked. “Wait, no-”

“Me three,” Orion actually manages to smile. It’s small and frail, but it’s there, and Dee stares at him incredulously. “I’m not eating til you do, either.”

“Wha- bu-” at a loss, he glances at Alpha Trion for help, who looks just as bemused as he feels. “You guys, you c-can’t just-”

“Too bad,” Elita glowers at him challengingly. “You don’t want us to starve? Then you don’t get to starve, either. Fair’s fair.”

“Just ooone sip, Dee?” Orion looks hopefully, still holding up the cube of fuel. It’s begun to cool now, no longer steaming, but still every bit as thin and fluid as before. Orion gently sloshes the cube back and forth. “See, look, it’ll go down easy, you won’t even have to chew.”

Helpless against all three of them and unable to bear the idea of none of them eating because of him–especially after Orion carried him most of the way here and was probably painfully hungry as well–he nervously concedes. “...ok,” he swallows unsurely, eyeing the fuel with trepidation. Orion is gentle as he brings it forward to press against his mouth, and Dee tries to steal himself. The first sip flows into his mouth and he coughs, clamping one servo over his mouth and forcing it down. His tanks cramp painfully and he hunches over, but… nothing comes of it. He takes several slow breaths, then turns back to Orion, nodding.

His best friend smiles wider, and presses a gentle, chaste kiss to his temple before raising the cube once more. “Couple more, then we’ll have some, ok?”

Elita refuses to take the cube til D-16’s drained about 20% of the contents, at last dropping his face into Orion’s shoulder and telling them he really will get sick if he has any more. She gently takes it from him, refusing to let B-127 hold it, not trusting him not to drop or spill any of the precious fuel. “Open,” she commands, and he does as she says, letting her press it against his mouth and tilting it steeply. “Now chug.”

When he’s done gulping down his portion, she hands it back to Orion, who tries to protest. “No, uh, you go ahead-”

“Shut up,” she barks the order. “Drink, now!”

“Yes ma’m!” he squeaks, optics wide like a dipole-doe in headlights, drinking down the lukewarm energon.

Once they’ve all eaten–Alpha Trion included–the old Prime sits cross legged before them. There’s still more to talk about, like their missing cogs and the matter of D-16’s health. He tells them, in no uncertain terms, that so long as he hosts the sparkling within him? He’ll have to cater to its needs if he wants to stop being so sick. “I understand that this subject is very, uncomfortable for you,” he says, regretful. “But we cannot afford to delay. Your child will continue to sicken you until its material requirements are satisfied.”

D-16 seemed to shrink, looking queasy at the idea. “I- I can’t! Not with him, not after-” he gags and covers his mouth.

“No, not with him, little one. You have suffered his touch enough,” Alpha Trion shakes his head. “You shouldn’t engage with such things unless you are certain. But, in order for your sparkling to live and for your own health to improve, you must intake the proper donations, regularly.”

Dee huddles close to Orion, audials ringing and only half-listening as the much older mech explains. If they were still home in Iacon, it would’ve been easy. Ratchet could administer it artificially, he could be numb and not have to feel it. He could have his choice of donor; he knows plenty of his batchmates and fellow cogless would be more than willing to donate. He could have Orion next to him to hold his hand and distract him so he didn’t have to think about it.

Here, though…

Here, his options are limited. They don’t have the luxury of medical tools or numbing medication. No choice but to do it the old fashioned way, and the thought makes his tanks turn. He’s only just met B-127. He likes the little chatterbox well enough, but he could never be intimate with him. Ever. Elita, he knows her better, but their relationship had always been rather strictly professional, and the idea of her domineering and straightforward personality being directed at him while they… oh, Primus, no. The thought makes him want to cry. He… he never wants to interface again, honestly. Just considering it makes him feel dirty, makes shame burn at his cheeks and neck.

Alpha Trion made it clear that he would if asked, but D-16 can’t imagine asking anything more of the mystical mech that’s looking after them. Besides, they just met, and he’s so much bigger than them… about the same size as Sentinel. He shudders just thinking about it.

That leaves only Orion, but… he can’t ask him. He- He suffered the same thing that Dee did, Sentinel had violated him too, how could he be so selfish and ask him to engage in the most disgusting and horrible thing of all? How could he ask his friend to touch the same place Sentinel had, how could he ask him to help grow that monster’s spawn? Orion didn’t deserve to have such a choice foisted on him-

“...Dee,” Orion’s voice drifts into his audials like a soothing balm, so warm and gentle. “Hey, um… c-can I- I mean, I wouldn’t mind if-”

“What?!”

Orion makes a sound that almost passes as a humorless laugh. His weight shifts beneath D-16, and he snuggles him close. He hasn’t let go this whole time, keeping his carrying friend cocooned safely in his arms for several megacycles. He rocks them both back and forth for a moment, trying to find the right words. “I just... I- I know this’s gonna be… h-hard. Really hard,” he swallows and blinks rapidly, as his optics strain to fill with tears but his reserves are still empty. “B-But, we- uh-” his optics flit over to Elita and B-127. The femme takes the hint, pointedly turning away and loudly asking Bee a question. Orion lowers his lips to murmur softly in Dee’s audio receptor. “We were both there, I- I’ve already seen you and you’ve already seen me, so, it- it won’t be awkward, and I won’t tell anyone, and,” he presses his nose into D-16’s cheek, optics sliding closed. “I… w-wanna do it with you. Cuz-”

Because you’re not Sentinel. Because I trust you. Because I love you. Because I’m worried for you and this is the only way I can help you.

So many reasons, and all of the words die in his throat. Unable to speak, he cuddles closer to Dee, letting their EM fields mix and mingle. He doesn’t push, doesn’t try to force it, and instead just lets his emotions flow and ebb like the tide, lapping up against his dearest friend, hope and tenderness offering themselves warmly. To his relief, Dee heaves a sigh of relief and snuggles into him, one servo snaking around to gently interlace their fingers and squeeze him tight.

“You…” he takes a shaky invent. “Y-You really… wouldn’t mind?” Orion nods in affirmation, and Dee gives his first, weak little smile in days. It's sheer relief, realizing he won't have to suffer through it with a stranger and, instead, his best and most beloved friend. “Ok,” it comes out in a whispered rush. “Alright… y-yeah, ok… let’s- l-let’s do it.”

...

And that's a wrap on this piece! Hope you enjoyed it lol, next time prepare for schmoopy fluffy adorable healing sex between these two traumatized babies. Part 4 only comes when ya'll abuse my ask box for it, so~

[ranticore]

Is there any "canceled" settings that never got out? Or just some canned ideas like OG modified people(?) thera

I have loadssss of canned ideas which couldn't work in the setting I envisioned:

the first story idea for Siren i had was going to be about an unmodified human (employed by modern atom corp) crashlanding there, and the three explorers (huarvaa, qedivar, and terwy) would volunteer to help them travel to the precursor settlement to find parts to fix their space ship. But along the way they would all make the discovery that they were all humans all along (obviously with the unmodified human believing they were being helped by three aliens). So there'd be points in the story where they'd be like "huh what a weird coincidence that [some similarity they share]" finally turning into "wait so your people made us to be slaves on this planet??" and the unmodified human having to absorb the rammys. Reason I didn't go with it: didn't like the focus on an unmodified human, I felt it a disservice to the sirenians' intelligence to imagine that they couldn't figure out all that shit on their own.

That one jumps to mind as this was originally a Siren blog and I do still work away at it here haha.

For outright cancelled settings and stories, kiiinda ISOK, i don't really make new things about it anymore and it never grabbed my attention enough, I'll draw my faves but don't feel like developing stories or characters there right now

Twist the manticore came from a very recently fully cancelled story about curses which you can find in the #manticore tag on my big art blog. Basically a concept of a really fucked up city built on a mine of the substance which allows people to visualise magic spells and particularly curses. The story was about a curse broker who would be hired to cast curses not necessarily of his own design, but he'd be the one pulling the trigger because it's like this nightmare gig economy where you need an endless supply of new people to cast curses because each casting takes a cumulative toll on the body. Anyway I fell away from it because it was hard to write a very actively suicidal pov and I never figured out the ending so it felt aimless. Sometimes when I have no ending in mind I can just go on and on throwing new scenarios at the characters to see them react but I wasn't feeling it here. But I liked the manticore and sphinx designs

Obviously all of my 21st century Inver writing is gone noncanon now which is great. The future now is entirely uncertain yippee!!!

I've also had one billion story ideas which are up on the shelf kind of waiting. A big one you might know from my werewolf sketchbook is the glam underground werewolf subculture stuff which I came up with while watching dog shows lol but essentially warring werewolf packs decided to cut down the body count by doing head to head dance battles instead based on the beauty and aesthetics of their werewolf forms, it was a little inspired by drag balls but it's something I'm not very familiar with so if I were to go at it seriously I would need to do a lot of work. The story would be about a guy who got bitten and had to find his way to one of these spaces where because of his lovely werewolf form he gets poached by a pack and ends up competing with them, until he stumbles across the dead body of the current best in show competitor, rival to his new pack, and is accused of murdering him. He is charged with proving his innocence, but also finding out who the hell bit him because it seems like it may have been done on purpose to create a scapegoat for this murder. Anyway yea full murder mystery and the werewolves had show names which were as extravagant and striking as u can imagine*, essentially leaving their straightsonas at the door once a month to queen out among the only people who understand them. The only setting I could possibly imagine for it was vegas lol but in a more homophobic era (the underground lycanthropy scene being analogous to gay culture ofc).

Another story I wanna work on eventually is a revamp of the radio dragons, I realised ultimately that I was still trying to 'fix' pern with it when presenting a rebuttal to the ethical problems with dragon rider stories ends up really boring ("the dragons are in charge and they pick their riders when the riders are teens and there's an element of choice etc etc" boring). Ultimately I should just be completely inverting the dynamic and leaving it unchanged so that the issues are made blinding rather than fixed - in this case, the dragons are in charge, but they are picking their riders from birth. Newborn human baby instantly hooked up to an adult or at least older adolescent dragon and treated like a particularly smart parrot for most/all of their lives. And the story told entirely from dragon pov of course (dragon would do anything for their beloved rider!! even maybe let them vote?)

I have more but that's off the top of my head

[snekatiemainy]

I wish we saw more of Antony and Hazel interacting because like. We saw it a bit in rattleconda racers but I feel like there's a lot you can do with their parallels that could be a bit explored more.

Hazel's life has just been turned upside down, she's in a new place with new people and without her older brother who is her rock and as she said her best friend. It suddenly feels like everything is out of her control and she's forced to navigate this new scary world. She's forced to make new friends which is hard, and try to find comfort without the person she knows the most.

As someone in college right now, going off on my own was one of the scariest things I did in my life. I'm living on my own, with someone I've only ever talked to twice before, without my parents support, without any of my high school friends, and I'm thrown into the deep end with something I've never experienced before.

Every time Antony goes on his little rant at the end of the episode, I can't help but think HE IS SO ME.

"Well, it is different! And you're not the only one going through it!" He then talks about eating in a cafeteria, a roommate who snores, not being able to ask someone out. Which all seem like silly superficial things at first glance but... it IS different. He's eating away from home (where the Wells eating family meals together), sleeping away from home, he has none of the same support he used to be. (And consider for a moment the idea that when he comes home to visit, its not the home he grew up in. The people are what matters, but doesn't that feel different too?)

When you're freshly 18 and have never been so far from home for so long, it's all new and overwhelming. The first few weeks of college before I finally settled in and found a group of good people were some of the worst weeks ever. And even after that I regularly struggled with being away from my parents, my pets, my friends, my own private space (and I too had a roommate who snored lol). I can't help but sympathize so hard with Antony because I get it!!

Idk. I just wish they kind of drew on that a lot more. Because Hazel and Antony are soso alike- they're in wildly new situations they have to learn to navigate, and while they're each lucky enough to get new friends and a strong support system through them, that doesn't mean it's easy. And yes, it's all different, and likely will never be the same. But that's okay

[mizuki-foreshadowing]

Mafuyu: The Staff of Guidance; Part 2

This is a What Lies Behind / What Lies Ahead side story. Mafuyu signs on to Nightcord early and it's just her and Mizuki. Seeing an opportunity to get something off her chest, Mizuki asks Mafuyu if she can ask her something, just the two of them. Mafuyu's journey forward has been and will continue to be painful, and Mizuki wonders if Mafuyu has any insights to help her on that same journey, because the event story is about Mizuki being too afraid to take it.

Mizuki barely knows how to articulate what she wants to know from Mafuyu, much less articulate it to someone struggling to recognize her own emotions.

But, the way Mizuki rephrases her question deserves some attention. Moving forward means finally learning the answers to some really big questions. To Mizuki, those questions may be, What will change if N25 knows my secret and my pain? Will the same things be fun anymore if they understand I'm every bit a social outcast as they are? Do I want to feel seen, accepted, and understood, or to have a space where I'm simply a girl no questions asked, and which of those is getting to be myself?

There are many questions Mizuki may be asking herself, and she can't know the answers to any of them, and that terrifies her, especially because, here and now, she's comfortable; she's getting by and she's having her fun.

During the event story, Mizuki refusing to leave her comfort zone finally tipped her over the edge, but Ena caught her, and made her a promise that was either exactly right or exactly wrong for Mizuki, because it meant Mizuki can stay in her comfort zone and never learn those big answers, forever.

Mizuki doesn't have to move forward. Instead, she asks Mafuyu why she should still try to.

Mafuyu has an analogous situation; in many ways, Mizuki and Mafuyu parallel each other. While Mizuki's own unsustainable norm is having fun in the moment at the expense of personal growth or considerations for her future, Mafuyu's is perfectly fulfilling everybody in her life's expectations of her at once, at the expense of her sense of self and losing contact with how she, as a person, feels.

Mafuyu asks herself how she has the courage to move forward in her path, which runs parallel to Mizuki's. She cites growth gradually making things better for her in real ways; she never knew she could be in a state where she doesn't want to disappear, or one where she can lessen the pain she feels.

Mafuyu also cites Kanade's promise to her as being a reason she has the courage to move forward: the song Kanade promises to write that will save her.

Ena likewise made Mizuki a similar promise, and these promises have their own parallels. Kanade, who would compose regardless of Mafuyu being saved, will never stop trying to save Mafuyu, until Mafuyu is saved. Ena, who would be Mizuki's friend regardless of Mizuki sharing her secret or not, will never pressure Mizuki to open up to her or show her her true self, until Mizuki is emotionally ready to.

Mizuki admitted to herself in Episode 8 that she's afraid she'll still never tell Ena her secret even after she's ready, because Ena's promise means she could be Mizuki's friend indefinitely. Likewise for Mafuyu finally telling Kanade when a song does save her, although this question can only be explored by Mafuyu, who isn't emotionally equipped to explore it yet.

Things will be different after that final turning point, for both members of each pair. Mizuki is afraid of what that means, but Mafuyu's response here implies that she may be excited for it.

To Mafuyu, that destination is somewhere she wants to be, no matter what it means or each difficult step she'll need to walk to get there. It's a destiny, a sense of purpose; it's something she has to do.

Mizuki understands this now, but we don't get to see whether she is receptive to the idea or not. Interestingly though, we don't even get to see whether Mizuki changes the subject or gets evasive, either; the conversation is simply interrupted by the other members signing on at 1 am.

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC Pick a Fruit: Something To Look Forward to in 2024 ❄🎁🎊

Sup y'all, I'm finally back again! I have not been as active on this blog as I've wanted to be these past two months, but hopefully that will change a little bit as the year settles to a close for winter.

I'm also excited to use my Tarotwave deck which just arrived in the mail this past week. I'm grateful to have backed it on Kickstarter! I know this is gonna be one deck of cards I'll be very amped to use on this blog. It's like an early Xmas gift ^^

2023 has been a bumpy ride for many people (and yours truly), and the biggest thing most of us want to know is how our next year is going to be, and if there's anything good in store. So I made sure to focus on asking for only the most positive and beneficial things that will bless you in this reading, because I want 2024 to be exciting for you and I wanna hype you up.

Pick one of the squishable fruits below to find out a hint or two about what you have to look forward to in 2024.

1 - Strawberry 2 - Orange 3 - Banana

Pile 1: Strawberry

Queen of Cups + VI The Lovers, IX The Hermit, Eight of Wands; Trillion, Anything is Possible, Guidance

For you, pile 1, 2024 is gonna be filled with pleasant little surprises that could appear out of nowhere. The Trillion card is connected to Aquarius and talks about living by ones own truth, but the zodiac is also connected to Uranian forces, helping us receive out-of-the-box insights to whatever challenge we're facing.

I think this pile has spent a great amount of time working on themselves. I don't know if you relate to the word "shadow work" or not, but this feels like you're in the tail end of that cycle. You've grown a lot in emotional maturity over the past months, and perhaps have released some form of major karmic or generational baggage that was weighing on you emotionally. Now it's going to become easier for you to express who you are because the extra emotional burden will not be there as before.

I'm sensing a vast expansiveness to this pile as a result, a willingness to be open to life. It's a calm and steady feeling. This is "come whatever may" energy. 2024 will be a chance for you to settle into the quiet, because that's where the miracles will appear. I feel like this is a quiet that's been anticipated, more relieving than boring. This is a space of being in the flow with life and being ready for whatever comes next without mental resistance.

For some, this could be a romantic reading. I tend to think of strawberries as a rather flirtatious fruit! And we have the Lovers here too. Typically the Lovers talks about decisions, but I don't feel here like you're in a position to be making some kind of clear cut choice at the moment. This is more emphasizing on loving the feeling of love itself. This is a carefree disposition to allowing your heart to guide you when things look overwhelming on the surface.

There's no need or pressure to rush into any kind of decision even if there's an eagerness to do so. You're being encouraged to fully take time out and explore your feelings so you can create a better alignment with the type of person you desire in your life. You're allowing yourself to be curious and open minded without the unnecessary input that others may give you unsolicited. The Hermit is in an empowered position here.

I think 2024 will give you time to lean back rather than pursue, which is not the same as being avoidant. We have the eight of wands here; when the opportunity strikes, it can strike hot! But the key is that you're taking in this energy rather than chasing it. In the meanwhile, you're filling up your cup and learning how to be fulfilled with this peaceful space, and you'll find it easier to be patient when it comes to finding whatever you've been seeking.

You're learning that you have all the time you need to stay in this calm state, and that rushing with everything doesn't always speed up fate. The sense of having more time to sleep and nurture yourself will greatly benefit you when the time comes to receive this incredible spiritual insight, love, or blessings in the material world.

Pile 2: Orange

XI Justice + 2 of Cups, 4 of Cups, 5 of Swords; Single, What You Seek is Seeking You, Stories

For pile 2, the biggest keyword here is Clarity. If you've been in the fog about something for a while, that may start to clear up in 2024. Something that seemed difficult to tackle before will be greatly simplified for you. The Single card is Mercury energy and talks about beginnings in a conventional sense. So you'll look forward to starting over with something next year, perhaps from scratch, so it'll be better than before. You can deal with issues with a fresher mindset.

This is a specific message for a few, but if lately you feel like you've been involved in rumors, gossip, or some form of negativity spread through word of mouth, I see this dissolving in 2024. It will swing back around. Perhaps whoever is spreading the rumor will receive one in return. No hexing done here, but it looks like karma will put in the work to show that you or someone you know is innocent. If someone you know is gaslighting or spreading lies, they will feel the brunt of this. Any negativity sent to you will simply spin around and cancel itself out. So don't worry about other peoples' perceptions in 2024, they will undergo a big shift.

For others in this pile, you may have had some disagreements with your love or even business partner. Either one large disagreement that's been on the back burner for a while, or it's little ones that add up. It'll be different amongst you. But in 2024 these tiny issues will be more easily resolved. Things won't seem to complicated to untangle once any given situation is figured out.

Your energy is spent a lot more here on moving forward and looking for something new next year than dealing with conflicting relationships. With the four of cups, you're ready to move past whatever company or crowd is messing with your mood because you know better shit is on the way and you don't want to waste your emotional currency on anything draining or inherently unsatisfying.

You would rather move into what is right for you than deal with the drama, though I think there will be times when it circles back around and you may have to confront it again… It won't be as difficult as it was in the past, however. You're not dealing with so much confrontation in 2024, especially if you're actively prioritizing healthy relationships and practice healthy boundaries with others.

This may look to be the year where the art of setting mental boundaries is perfected. Mental boundaries means choosing what you'd rather think about than let your mind run loose. No longer trapped in the undertow of other peoples' nonsense, you're starting to get your life fully together. This will spill outwards into the outer world, and this will greatly help ease off the kind of bothersome encounters with people that may have popped up in 2023.

Some of you may identify as people pleasing, which is something that I see less of for you next year. It's almost like the vibe of seeing a kid watch a bunch of other children bully each other during recess, only for that lone kid to decide to go their own way and read a book. He might even make a new friend that way, who knows? 2024 will give you the chance to shrug certain expected worries off your back like water off of duck's feathers. Citrus is clean and refreshing. You can expect only the simplest and cleanest interactions moving forward (yes, I have Simple and Clean inside my head now, oof). It's all about keeping your eye on the prize that awaits ahead.

Pile 3: Banana

9 of Cups + XIV Temperance, XVIII The Moon, 7 of Wands, Prism, Projections, Power

Wow, so much lunar energy in pile 3's cards! I see bananas as lunar because they're shaped like crescents (and to go bananas is to be a lunatic!). Then you got two different version of moon cards on top of one another!

In this deck, the Moon has a softer and more subtle approach than the RWS. There's a greater emphasis on dreams and intuition with this card. Have you been connected to or manifesting with the lunar cycles? Or creating a dream journal to track your visions? If you've been interested in doing so, now would be a good time to look into it, as a confirmation. You're in alignment to receive!

This pile is really feeling the buzz of desires fulfilled and is pushing beautiful energy out into 2024. I'm not seeing specific desires listed here, just the overall potency of manifestation magic. This could possibly be a big year for you even. Just try not to get too carried away with the need to make 2024 into a particular kind of good year. Even if great things are lined up, allow room for the uncertainties to occur. These moments will happen to test you, and you'll need to stand your ground and be firm with what you want without your worries getting the best of you.

Pile 3, with Projections and Power? You are gonna look forward to 2024 being like a canvas for you to paint on. You can decide to paint whatever you wish, for a window of time as brief as the full moon. That's why your other three tarot cards are trying to slow you down a little bit, lol. Even if great luck is offered to you, be careful with how it factors into your life. You're being asked to have modesty, which must mean you're set to achieve or receive something very nice. But yeah, a sense of humbleness and gratitude will really help you here.

You're being reminded with the Moon that you don't have all the answers right now, and it's okay. Oftentimes the wish doesn't get granted until we lose our attachment to it or get sidetracked with life, then it's able to come in more easily. When we try to act resistant and overly arrogant with the seven of wands, it can bite back against us.

I'm also getting a message here about being humble with your blessings so to not attract unwanted attention from people. You could end up in a position where some may throw a lot of projections on you, but you will need to remind yourself of your Prism qualities. Prism is like pure spirit, it's the card of being spiritually aligned with one's self. You will be reminded that beyond good and bad fortunes, the pure spirit of self doesn't change. That is your power source.

Another thing you may look forward to are psychic upgrades. If you've been working on your psychic talent, you could receive a major boost this year. You may experience more clairsenses or messages in your dreams. These experiences and abilities will allow you to find the right time to act or wait on certain choices in your life. Your intuition is being greatly sharpened and amplified in 2024. Use this power with great care.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[notbecauseofvictories]

hello! longtime follower and current 1L - am starting the rounds of the law firms and there's always the "so what practice area are you interested in?" bit. i was curious what that is for you + what you do/don't like about it? iirc, you mentioned something abt being in-house, healthcare related, regulatory side of things? i'm interested in regulatory stuff but not sure if that takes the shape of litigation or an explicitly regulatory-focused practice. found your blog back in the star wars days, then got into silmarillion and the silt verses after seeing your posts abt it haha - hope you're doing well and staying warm!

Congrats! 1L summer is a fun, anxiety-ridden time that mostly involves telling people over and over, who you are and what you're interested in---which can be tricky if you're not sure what you're interested in.

Personally, I went in knowing that I liked healthcare (the field I worked in prior to law school) and that wanted to stay healthcare-adjacent.....but not much else.

I learned I was not destined for litigation pretty much the first time my Legal Writing professor handed back our appellate briefs. (Mine did not have the grade I wanted at the top.) This was compounded by our final project, where we presented in front of real live attorneys and I was a nervous, sweaty wreck. After that, I decided that becoming Atticus Finch was not in my future.

But there are still lots of other kinds of law to practice! I live in the healthcare regulatory space---and I work for a pretty under-resourced company, which means I have lots of contact with other areas like R&D, clinical research, data privacy, marketing and adtech, direct patient care, healthcare compliance, and negotiating between various international laws. Not to mention my scope is always expanding, which is...challenging, but I'm also the kind of person who enjoys spending a weekend reading about Brazilian law.

(One of my guiding stars through the whole law school/job search process was "I don't want to be bored." I am never, ever bored.)

And this wasn't even my first stop! When I was in law school, I spent my semesters interning/clerking at firms, consulting boutiques and government agencies; policy-focused clinics and hospitals and giant corporate behemoths. I've said before that observing all these different settings was valuable, that it gave me a better understanding of myself, how I work, and the kind of work I was looking for. While I won't ever claim that every experience I had was amazing (it was not) it did give me the opportunity to explore, in a way that most adult professionals simply can't.

I mean---look. If you're committed to the brass ring of OCR and a high-profile law firm, then you might have to make this decision now. (Or at least come up with a good answer for interviewers...) But I highly encourage you and everyone choosing that path to keep the other doors open, just a crack. There are interesting things that sneak through when you aren't looking.