#and now i will sleep. because i am tired and my wrist hurts

[razzafrazzle]

this is Saucy but i like it too much and spent too much time on it to not post it on main so. warning for Salacious Homosexual Activity beneath the cut. not actually explicit but. Suggestive, yknow?

gay gay homosexual gay

[image description: a sketch of two original characters, geo and eris. geo is a hairy muscular human man with short dark undercut hair and one eye. eris is a thin demon man with small black horns, sharp teeth, blank white eyes, a drippy mouth, and earrings shaped like the hand of eris symbol. geo has a ballgag in his mouth and a collar around his neck, to which eris is holding the leash. geo is looking back at eris and doing a peace sign, while eris stands behind him with her arm around her and her tongue out in a playful expression. end id]

[itsahotsecondafter]

hip hip hooray for bone pain muscle strain migraine go insane week

[bluejutdae]

“Oh, let there be hotel complaints” | Chan x you

warnings: nsfw, D/s dynamics, face and pussy slapping, overstimulation, mention of safewords, Daddy kink.

This is just Chan brain rot and my mind gently suggested me the image of first time inexperienced Dom Chan who wants to try some BDSM but he’s too scared to hurt you so he decides he’a going to try on himself all that he’s gonna do to you…

Title from Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier

Chan has had plenty of vanilla sex, but then you introduced him to BDSM, and especially the concepts of Doms and Subs, and something switched in him. He started reading online forums and blogs. And when the topic arose again, he clearly told you he’s interested, but he won’t do it yet. Because the thing is: despite how hard even just reading stuff about it makes him, he has no experience, and he won’t risk hurting you.

So, he does what any good Dom should do in his eyes, he tries things on himself.

One day you turn home to find his face red and a bit swollen, but when you ask about it, he just distracts you with filthy kisses. What you don’t know is that he slapped and slapped and slapped himself until he deemed he had found the right strength to use.

Another day he disappears for the whole afternoon and, when you see him in the living room, he looks flushed and a little exhausted, but giddy. Just like Changbin when he maxes out at the gym and he’s incredibly tired but proud of himself. What you don’t know is that he spent the afternoon edging himself with a vibrator on his shaft and his tip and, after hours of denying himself, he came and proceeded to overstimulate himself, because it’s only logical to pair up the two experiences, right?

What you noticed though, is that there’s a change in him. He’s more assertive with you on some days, makes sure you eat and doesn’t let you go to sleep if you haven’t removed your makeup. Pushes you to sleep more when he knows you have had a bad day at work, and every time you comply and thank him for taking care of you, he kisses a little filthier, holds you a little firmer.

It’s months later when he asks if you can try something kinkier. You’re excited and happy and you start to mentally prepare yourself to be a good teacher without forgetting this is about pleasure. But then Chan shows you exactly how deep the still water runs deep.

“You’re gonna sit there” he says and he’s so commanding yet sexy you melt instantly. “And we’re gonna have a quick talk. Nothing too extreme is going to happen today, but I need to establish some rules”. You nod in response, and he looks at you with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “You’re gonna use your pretty words, baby girl.” That’s it. Not a suggestion, not an option, a rule. Fuck, you knew he would be good at this.

“I understand.”

He’s quick with the rules: you must verbally answer, you’re gonna use the traffic light system for now, you must use the safe word if you need to, and the moment you think something’s wrong he’s gonna stop. You also must ask for what you want, not just take it.

Not too long later you’re on the bed, shirt previously discarded and clad only in your panties. And Chan is completely dressed, hovering over you. He’s been kissing you deeply and touching you just enough to make you want so much more. You’re embarrassingly wet and you’re sure you’ll have to throw away your panties. He’s holding your crossed arms at the wrists and, in doing so, he’s holding you down. You try to buck and raise your ass to relieve some of the dull aching you’re feeling in your core. “C’mon Channie, touch me.”

“But I am touching you…” he replies with a smirk on his lips. His free hand caresses your face, and he tests the gives of your lower lip with his thumb. When you suck on it, though, he takes it away and shakes his head. “What did I say?” You are lost, what happened? Did he say something?

“You’re just a cockhungry whore, uh? You can’t even wait for me to give you something, you’re so greedy you just want to take and take.”

Oh.

The realization in your face makes Chan smile. “There it is… tell me what you did wrong, and I might consider going easy on you.”

“I didn’t ask to suck your thumb-” he knows there’s something you want to add, he knows about your Daddy kink. And it turns him so fucking on, but he’s not gonna press about it. He considers your words and considers just letting it slide, but there’s flames licking at his insides.

“Too bad you didn’t ask, uh?”

Sudden, sharp pain irradiates on your left cheek and it’s less the pain and more the surprise that makes you gasp and, less than a second later, moan. Chan wants to apologize, years of conditioning making him feel guilty and mean and abusive, but he can’t deny what he feels.

He grabs your face, fingers splayed where he slapped mere seconds ago, wet thumb digging into the opposite cheek and kisses you messy and filthy, sucking your tongue in his mouth. Chan removes the last piece of clothing you have on and sits on his knees, with his thighs slightly spread apart. He holds your legs open with firm hands, one on your calf and the other clamped around your knee. He’s just… staring at your pussy. You try to squirm away and close your legs, but his eyes are suddenly on you. There’s a warning in his face that accompanies a displeased sound. “Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry” you blurt out trying to repair something before you do too much damage. You can feel wetness dripping down your folds, and Chan can too. “You’re so wet. Fuck, you love being on display for me…” He has never felt this. There’s a power rush, a shiver starting from his spine and moving towards opposite endings: towards his brain, making him lose words and making him want to act up, want to deliciously destroy you, making a mess of you and then put you back together; and on the other ending, traveling south towards his cock and balls. He’s been ready to cum the moment he sat you down and you agreed to do this.

“Love, are you just going to stare at me?” You ask when you grow too impatient to keep sitting still, a bit embarrassed too by his too focused staring. He shakes his head, and there is a quiet chuckle that can be heard in the room. His lips raise in a slow smirk, like he’s just been made aware of a secret, and you didn’t. And maybe he did.

Chan made plans for tonight. Plural. You told him you like not knowing everything in advance, so he planned different plans based on your responses to his actions. It was harder than organizing recording sessions. But since he saw your reactions earlier, he decides to stick to a precise plan. So, he acts in it.

Quickly and hard he delivers a slap on your inner thigh, the pain is a delicious sensation, hot and cold at the same time. A moment later the skin reddens to show Chan’s handprint and if possible, his cock gets ever harder. It twitches a little from where it’s hidden, head flushed and red, slowly but constantly leaking precum, forming a wet stain on his slacks .

“Fuck Chan!” You cry to his direction, eyes closed shut and brows knit in pleasure. You can feel heat where he hit you, and you want to press your fingers into it, wanting to feel the warmth and the pain and the pleasure. The moment you are ready to ask him for something, he delivers another slap in the same place. This time, though, Chan doesn’t let you breathe it out, doesn’t let you take your time to recover from it, no. He rakes his nails on your hot skin, watches as the skin quickly goes from red to white and to an even redder red where he scratched you. Digs his digits into your skin and revels in your gasps, feeling hot and ready to lose control, if a wind would blow in the room, he would cum in an instant. He’s ready for your next moan, your next gasp, but you’re quiet and your legs are trembling, and he’s scared he’s gone too far. He’s on the verge of apologizing, carrying you to the bathroom for a warm bath and cuddles and more apologies when he realizes he read you wrong. He didn’t give you too much, he gave you exactly what you needed, because -unbelievably so, for him- you’re coming. Clit untouched and your sopping hole twitching and throbbing around nothing, but you’re clearly coming. This is a different one, though. You’ve never been quiet while having an orgasm, but watching you with more attention calms him down, you look fine. He kisses you from your thigh to your cheekbone, stopping to nibble at your nipples, tongue lapping at your skin and sucking quick marks on you. “My pretty slut” a kiss on the nose, “you’re so greedy” a kiss on the right cheek, “your little pussy came untouched” a kiss on the forehead, “now I must give it some attention” a kiss on your chin. “Tell me your color?” He adds, tone sweeter and a hand caressing your face like you’re made of the finest glass.

“Green”. A smile appears on his face and he manhandles you to straddle his slacks covered thigh. Your wetness is seeping through the fabric, you squirm and he can see you’re embarrassed. “I told you I was gonna give it some attention. I want my baby girl to feel good.” He grabs you by your hips and forces you to move and grind your pussy on the fabric of his slacks. One of his hands sneaks into your hair and he pulls, stopping you from hiding into his neck. “No hiding. And stop hiding all your pretty sounds from me.”

The pleasure mixed with the overstimulation are overwhelming, and Chan’s new role is playing a big role in the moment and your arousal. His fingers are probably going to leave bruises in your skin, and you can’t wait to stand in front of a mirror to see them. Chan hands guide you back and forth and soon you’re clenching around nothing, “m’close Channie”, too desperate to control your movements.

“It’s okay, my baby. Just ask for it.” His hard cock is begging to be touched, still in the confines of his underwear and trousers. Yet, he has never been this hard and close to coming untouched. Your moans, the redness on your cheeks, the sweat matting your hair to your forehead and your incessant moans and cries of pleasure are making him lose his mind.

“Please Channie, can I cum?” You pant. “Let me cum, Daddy.” The last word is whispered, muffled into his shoulder but he hears it anyway. And he understands why you like it, the name giving him power, giving him a specific role, giving him the chance to give you exactly what you need.

“Then cum for Daddy.”

He watches you as cum, hands guiding your movements and his muscles flexing to give you as much pleasure as he can. He loves you like this, unabashed and free, vulnerable just for him.

But having you moaning and screaming his name is not enough. He doesn’t stop when you try to take a moment to collect yourself, he fixes his hold on your hips and forces your movements again. Back and forth, back and forth, again and again and it doesn’t matter how loud you whine, it doesn't matter your overstimulation, what matters now is making you cum another time. Anytime he pushes you towards him, he also pushes you down, setting an unforgiving pace that is torture on your sensitive clit. He’s relentless, but after just a few minutes you’re both rewarded with your legs clamping down on his thigh as you cum again. Unbelievably so, watching your second orgasm triggers his own orgasm and he moans your name loudly. He kisses you, messy and hungry, lips demanding and tongue insistent, claiming even your breath.

You’re gripping his shirt so hard, your fingers hurt. He delicately lays you down onto the bed and kisses you softly. As soon as his breathing comes back to normal, his worries come back too.

“Are you okay, baby? Did I hurt you? Was it too much? What do yo-“ you interrupt him with silly, quick kisses, trying to diminish his worries.

“I am more than okay.” A kiss. “I feel perfect.” A kiss. “You were perfect.” A kiss. “You’re always perfect, love.” A kiss. “I love you.” A kiss.

You kiss some more and he insists on showering together so he can take care of you and make sure you drink water and eat some fruit and chocolate. He tells you all about trying on himself what he did to you, and you’ve never loved him more.

[roseyodditea]

Sit Still! - Boothill x gn! Reader

Summary -> 1.1k words. You're a mechanic who's been forcibly given the impossible task of repairing Boothill, the most stubborn customer you've ever done (even if this wasn't the first time)

Warnings -> None

A/N -> Is it obvious that I like working on electronics? No? Not proofread because I work a 7-5 office job and I am tired <3

********

“Hey! HEY! you keep that fudgin’ thing away from me!” Boothill jumps over the workbench in the middle of your workshop, watching your movements carefully. He was quite agile for a man that was on death’s door when he stumbled in here a mere half hour ago. 

You put the hot soldering pen down on the table against the wall. “Boothill. Let me do what I need to do.” Boothill crouches down like a wild animal, practically growling, his jaw clenched tightly. “What are you planning on doin’ with that thing?” “How the hell have you gone this long without using a soldering iron? How do you keep your body functional?” You lunge and reach for the back of his jacket, grabbing him by the collar as he tries to skitter away, but his damaged systems cause him to be slower and weaker than normal. “Whatever that thing is, my sensors say it’s hot and it smells forkin’ awful!” He tries even harder to wiggle out of your grasp, but he doesn't want to hurt you. You were the only mechanic in this star system that still put up with his shit. “Normally they turn me off for repairs. I ain’t never been awake for one.”

“Yeah well. I need you conscious for this part.” You shove him towards the workbench and he obeys, sitting up on it. “Lay down, open up your chest panel.” You command and push him down. 

“What are you plannin’?” He bites back the distrust and decides to lie down on the bench. He opens up his chest panel and watches you closely, the targets in his pupils lock on like he was about to rip out your jugular with those sharp teeth of his. “I will explain everything I do before I do it. Will that make things better?” You muster a soft tone, trying not to show that you are annoyed at his behavior already. Sure you had the stubborn electronics and machines that made you lose sleep, but this is the first time the repair work was done on someone who could give you sass. You don’t have the bedside manners for this…

Boothill still watches wearily, but at this point, he has no choice, his systems are borderline critical. He had already ignored the warnings for this long. “Alright… yeah… that’ll make it better.” You pick back up the soldering iron and show it to him. “This is a soldering pen. I’m going to use it to melt this stuff,” you pick up the roll of the thin metal that was on the table next to it, “onto the contacts between your wires and your circuit boards. It’ll help make sure everything is secure and won’t wiggle out of place. I need you awake because I need you to tell me if I set off any alarms and sensors in your body. Just as a failsafe to make sure I don’t accidentally kill you”

“Kill me!?”

“It’s a joke. Now shut up and don’t move”

He nods, still weary as you reach both your hands into his chest compartment, where he can’t see. He tries to hold down the panic, the fear, the worry. This was the most vulnerable he has ever been. This is why he likes being powered down for repairs. This was hell. The smell of molten tin permeates the air, only stressing him out further. 

“Calm down.” You say without looking up. “You’re fidgeting and I’m trying not to burn either of us.” He doesn’t listen. Of course, he doesn’t listen. His legs still fidget, his hands still move around, gripping the table. “Kinda hard when you’re wrist deep in my body. It tickles.”

“Boothill. Hold still.” You growl out, frustration building in your chest. This was delicate work on a not-so-delicate man. “Next time you squirm, I swear to whatever Aeon you worship-” He twitched again and your hand slipped, the soldering pen touching his bare circuit board, causing him to yelp out in pain. “Goddammit Boothill!!”

He shrinks away, recoiling from pain and your frustration. “Ah, shirt! It feels weird and I-” His words are cut off as you move to straddle his thighs, pinning his fidgeting legs underneath you. You point the hot soldering iron at his face. “Move again, and I will turn you off and just pray I don’t mix up wires.”

“Yes, boss.” He says, stunned as his hands instinctively move to rest on your thighs. “Ya know, last time I had someone on me like this I-” “Don’t” You reply, your hands working on sorting out the mess of wires he had let his innards become. You solder another wire down and look up into his eyes. “Is that one in the wrong spot?” “No, that feels right. I forgot I had that sensor.” He chuckles, relaxing against the workbench. “This ain’t that bad.” His hands gently trace circles against the material of your pants in an attempt to soothe his own anxiety. He could feel every movement your fingers made in his chest compartment. 

“Yeah, and it only took me thirty fucking minutes to get you to sit still.” You finish soldering all the wires down, satisfied with your work. “Alright. All done.” You toss the hot iron onto the table across the workshop. “See? Not that bad. You’re just whiny.” You move to get up, only to have Boothill tug you back down onto his lap, sitting up so you both are face to face. 

“Thank you.” 

“Wow. I didn’t know you were capable of genuine gratitude.” You tease, grabbing his hat and putting it back on his head. 

He adjusts his hat into the proper place. “I know I owe you credits, but what can I do to thank you, sugar? This ain’t the first time I’ve stumbled into your workshop late at night, mostly dead.”

“Just come back alive again.” You knock his hat out of place on purpose, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “That’s good enough for me.” You hop off of the workbench. “Now get the hell out and let me go to sleep. It’s too late at night to be lookin’ at your face.” “Yes, boss.” 

“See ya next time.” “There won’t be a next time.” He tries to keep up his tough appearance as you roll your eyes and move to sort and put away your tools. He smiles to himself and purposefully takes his whip off his belt, tossing it on the table while your back is turned and he slips out. 

Once you knew he had fully slipped away, you rolled your eyes, grabbing the whip and hanging it up on the hook you installed on the wall just for this purpose. 

He always left a reason to come back, and you always pretended to be oblivious to it. 

**********

Super special super optional A/N -> someone sent me an anonymous message a couple days ago saying they like my writing and I CRIED. Turns out when you break out of your comfort zone and share a hobby you get support??? Odd.

[wonuwonder]

01:12 am - jeon wonwoo

sorry if there’s typos or it’s written weirdly, it’s my first public work and english isn’t my first language hehe

genre: fluff, slight angst (they’re fighting)

“baby please, just listen to me”

“no, wonwoo, i’m tired of arguing about the same thing everytime”

wonwoo had just gone back from “work”, you’d been waiting for hours, as you were supposed to go out tonight. this was -of course- not the first time this had happened and you’ve had enough

“it’s like what? the third time we have to reschedule because you can’t make time for our things?” wonwoo tried to answer but you stopped him before he could get the words out of his mouth- “i’m exhausted wonwoo, i don’t wanna deal with this right now” you made your way into the kitchen to get away from him, and wonwoo tried to grab your arm to stop you but you were quicker

“the funny thing is I would understand if it had been something important like practice or a meeting, but no, you went out to eat and drink with the boys, while i was here waiting for you with that stupid dress on”

he took a step closer to you and grabbed your wrists gently, but you stepped back, making your way towards the couch “please just go to bed wonwoo, my head hurts and i wanna go to sleep”

he snorted a laugh mockingly “like what you’re gonna sleep here in the couch?” you gave him an annoyed look and kept rearranging the cushions to make it comfortable, he got closer to you but you turned your head away “please baby let’s just talk i don’t wanna go to bed with a heavy heart”

“i don’t wanna be in our room right now so you can take it” you answered the first question completely ignoring what he had just said and he just kept looking at you with a sad face “just go”- you repeated, and he turned around and went inside your room with annoyance

—————

it had been two hours since you and wonwoo last “spoke” in the living room, he hadn’t been able to sleep at all just thinking about you and what he had done, he hated fighting and arguing with you.

the night was cold, and he knew the only thing you had to cover up with was a light couch blanket, so you were probably freezing in the living room, he got up, weighted blanket in hand and went to check on you.

he tried not to wake you as he opened the bedroom door, he got close to the couch and haunched to look at you better, you were sleeping in fetal position trying to warm yourself up with your own body, but he noticed you had goosebumps from the cold, so he quickly covered you with the blanket and you twisted softly in your sleep, he moved your hair out of your eyes to look at you better. he felt terrible for making you wait again.

you started to softly open your eyes as your body noticed his presence and when he noticed his eyes softened “hey baby, did i wake you?” he asked softly, and you shook your head humming a “no”, you shifted noticing the blanket and gave him a knowing look with a disguised grin on your face “i couldn’t stop thinking about you and thought you must’ve been freezing out here so i brought it to cover you”-you stopped to look at him- his hair was messy and he was wearing a pair of sweatpants and an old black tshirt to bed, he didn’t have his glasses with him so you could see his dark eyes shining better with the dim light that came from the streetlights. you stretched your hand out to cup his cheek and he closed his eyes instantly, melting into your touch.

“i really missed you today” you said softly, his eyes opened, and you noticed they were watery “i know baby”- he grabbed your hand and squeezed it- “i truly am sorry, i feel terrible, i hate making you feel like this, i just- they wanted to go and celebrate dino’s recent release and i thought i would be able to arrive in time for you and i-“ you cut him off “shh it’s okay baby, you don’t need to explain anything, let’s just forget about it” you gave him a quick peck “let’s just sleep” you opened the blanket and motioned for him to get in “squeeze in, i’m freezing, and i can’t sleep if i’m not hugging you” he laid next to you in the couch and hugged you tight resting his chin in your head.

“i’m sorry y/n, i love you”, he said and you looked up at him, “it’s okay, i love you too”.

author’s note: posted a new drabble!

kitchen talk (fluff, smut, wonwoo x reader)

[lilithhb]

🫀Experiences;

One night, in a room.

Years ago I went to a school trip with some friends.

I had these friend who I loved a lot during that time, I am a very loving person so I remember hugging him a lot and he would do the same. It was nice because he was taller than me so I could listen to her heart every time I wanted to by hugging him.

As I’ve had a heart condition for a time now he always took care of me making sure that I felt okay. Something that beyond cardiophilia I always found it cute.

“Did you take your pills?” “Make sure not to eat much junk food” “How is your heart?” “Everything okay with your dumb pump” are small examples of the things he used to say to me. I had that trust in which I would lie next to him and sometimes he would put his hand on my chest while doing stuff, feeling my heart. Something that I told him made me feel safe.

I remember the movement of his hand going up and down following my heartbeat as Ive always had a visible heartbeat.

I remember him getting worried when my heart decided to skip some beats while his hand rested on my chest. “Its fine” I would say, “It does that sometimes” and the he would say that it should not happen again as if I could control my heartbeat hehe….

During that trip he was extra careful with me. We had long walks and he would always walk next to me as I would get tired easily because of my condition. My heart always beating erratically with skips and pauses with the sun making me a sweat mess. He would take my wrist to feel my pulse just to know about my condition. One time he even putted his palm against my chest to feel it directly while he told me I should follow his breathe to calm my heart.

One afternoon after one of those long walks both of us sneaked into his room (girls and boys could not share room during this trip for obvious reasons) to rest and talk. We had small conversations but I was too tired to keep the dialogue going, so after a small silence he got closer and laid his hand on my chest once again. My heart beating strong following a fast pace.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, I started blushing for some reason, it never actually mattered to me that he put his hand on my chest but somehow I felt more vulnerable this time. “No, I mean yeah kinda” I reply. “You should rest then…”

I don’t really remember who things went, but we lay down on his bed, where after some time trying to sleep he would sit and watch me straight to my eyes asking me if he could listen to my heart. My heart started to race more in answer to the question, which I stuttered to reply with a yes.

He would lay his head on my chest while his hand rested on my wrist. I remember that I was having an arrhythmia during that time, so he would comment about every skip and rhythm change my heart would make, he told about how beautiful it was for him to listen the one thing that keeps working so hard, and kinda poorly, to keep me alive.

I remember his breathing, his head moving up and down my every shake my chest had in response to hard little pump. His attempts to follow my heartbeat with smalls “pump pum” coming from his mouth.

I loved every second of it. I never felt soy listened in my life. And we stayed like that for hours until the night came. I did fall sleep at the end, when I woke up I was hugging his head against my chest, with my heart beating slowly with the same pace of his breathing.

This was my attempt of writing some of my cardiophile experiences, sorry for the bad English I am not a native speaker;;; I have many more to tell so perhaps this is only the first of many posts with my experiences, who knows?

[lovebvni]

intuitive messages pac !!

THIS IS FROM 2023!! BE FOREWARNED

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│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...

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[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 7.31.23

[  ] published ⋮  7.31.23

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !

┊     °

hello earthlings, its been a while since i've done a pac, mainly because of MANY personal issues - but thats not important. i thought for a while and went back to my old pac's and i found an older one i made and i remembered, my intuition is just as powerful as ever - so why do i need tarot cards now?

today i'm just going to have 10 messages/sentences the universe wants you to hear. they can be specific or general.  remember, take everything can be taken with a grain of salt, and your future can be changed. you are in control.

now please, find your inner peace, connect to your soul.

understand these messages were meant to find you, and see what is left for you.

inhale, exhale, and pick a pile

Pile 1 - Watching

confirmation :

procrastinating, pushing things off, turning the other cheek, tumblr, the colour purple (show or the actual colour), spacing out, spirits, double meaning, two faced, gemini, hidden meanings/words, red eyes (tired, puffy), burnt out, music, 'good night, sleep tight, don't let the demons fight.', the letter s, sharks, 'the grass is greener'.

side note : the month of august (summer in general) be significant for your shifting/spiritual journey.

Your messages

1. Why would you wait when you could just grab at it? It's right there. Don't let it rot.

2. "Hello? Are you there, listening? Listen to me. I'm here to help. I promise." (this could be an inner voice or a spirit guide)

3. Be your own boss. Keep going.

4. Pass on to the next step (Death to life)

5. You know what's there, talk to it. "I wont hurt you."

6. Listen, don't speak.

7. Let it go. Be like Elsa, don't let it bother you anymore.

8. Mind, Body and Soul. You're in harmony. Use it to your advantage.

9. Advise and criticize. And use the same techniques on yourself.

10. Peace and love. You deserve it. You know you do. And you will find it, soon.

Pile 2 - Renew

conformation :

saiki k, giving up, letting go, leaving things behind, mental overload, 'Jesus fucking Christ', jealous, letting go of that person, shadow work, yellow, outlook, aries, the moon, big lips, 333, the number 3.

Your messages

1. Bite down. Let it flow into your veins, your soul, your spirit. Its part of you now.

2. Is it a real worry, or just something from your past you don't want to let go of?

3. Jail. Time to rest. Now.

4. Eat and care for your physical body. You can't idolize shifting. You're not getting anywhere doing that.

5. Look in the mirror - no. Not at the past. At who you are now. Who you've become.

6. You have the balls. Go fucking do it.

7. Don't accept the truth from other people, find and make your own. That's what they see, not what you know.

8. Her claws. Her teeth. She's manipulating you. Let her go. Rip away from her. She's wasting your time, energy and draining your soul.

9. "I  DO love you. That doesn't mean I'll let you hurt yourself."

10. I am watching. Always. In your good times and bad. I'm here for you. Just ask for help.

Pile 3 - Love

confirmation :

wrist and elbow, jumpscares/ being scared, saturn, planets, fnaf, cycles, broken cycles, love watch, soulmate reuniting, mha (lmao bro idek at this point), drawing, heartache, feeling lonely, barbie, hip dips, trios.

1. Wake up from that dream and make it a reality, you know what you have to do, so go do it.

2. "Beg for my mercy." - This had a VERY sexual undertone... Obviously from a dominant partner or something

3. 'Hello again, my friend! What do you have to tell me now?"

4. You know that thing you asked for? Yeah. It's coming. Keep your eyes pealed (for some I heard it's even coming tomorrow!)

5. Sit in silence, you know what it is. You hear the voices.

6. Pack your bags and go.

7. Grab on, I'll lead you to where you need to be.

8. Don't chase what you're attracting, that will only lead to disaster. (A manifestation you wanted is coming, this is basically saying don't overwork and beat yourself up over it. It's coming and nothing will stop it.)

9. Nature is your friend. Go out and ground yourself. Lay in the grass, smell the rain.

10. If you want to learn, you need the knowledge. Search for what you want to find. You can see it. Ask around. You'll find it. Look, look, look, search, look look, search, find.

I hope this pac resonated for everyone! remember, this will find you when you need it, take what relates, leave what doesnt. remember you are in charge of your future.

i love you. new things are coming.

dont give up.

1111

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 57)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

"I was probably just one of many, wasn't I?" you eventually said in a low voice as you could see Cillian flinch before your gaze fell on the floor for a moment. You too were bothered by the article now, more than you could admit even to yourself and Cillian's audacity, telling you that you were out of line because you were trying to move on, made you incredibly upset and angry. 

"No actually, you were one of very few," Cillian   interrupted you with an almost angry tone in his voice. "I only ever got involved with you while being married and what happened between me and Amanda was a huge mistake," he began to say before trailing off slightly and bringing his gaze back up and meeting your eyes. "But you know, I am tired of this, because I can't change the past and I am sick of apologizing over and over again just so you can push me away," he admitted, frustration finally visible in his typically collected eyes.

Shock rippled through you at Cillian's admission. He was tired of apologizing? You were the one who should be tired. Tired of constantly being reminded of the choices he made in the past while still acting jealous and insecure, not letting you go or allowing you to move on. Despite, you knew that you pushed him away because every time you came close to him, you couldn't help but feel the sting of pain. It was hard for you to forget how he had hurt you, and it was even harder for you to trust him after all the harm he caused.

"And I am tired of your jealous behavior and your constant involvment in my life," you shot back, your cheeks flushed with anger. "Your constant nagging and commentary about Sean and now this. I am tired of it, Cillian!" you told him. 

Cillian clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his frustrations and thoughts. "Sean is.... I don't even know where to start...," he trailed off and you could hear the distain in his voice. "But you are right. I am jealous. I hate seeing you with him, or anyone else for this matter. The idea of another man touching you is enough to drive me crazy and every time I see you with someone else, it's like a punch in the gut," Cillian finally admitted with a growl in his voice, looking at you with a desperate gaze.

"Isn't that funny now?" you rolled your eyes. "You, as a famous Hollywood Actor, who can have every woman he wants, are jealous because I'm sleeping with someone else?" you asked incredulously, your eyes narrowing as you looked at Cillian. "That's pathetic," you added, trying to push him away when he attempted to take your hand into his.

"Perhaps it is, but you hold all the cards now Y/N. I haven't even been with anyone since you left me," Cillian confessed, letting go of your hand as if to prove his point.

You looked at him skeptically, not entirely convinced. "Bullshit," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. 

"No, it's true," Cillian insisted, his voice low. "I swear, I haven't been with anyone. Not since the day you left," he said firmly. "And the fact you question me about this now and the fact that you asked me about the allegations in the article indicates to me that...," he began to argue determinately but you placed your finger on to his lips quickly to silence him.

"No! Stop Cillian! I said I moved on," you protested firmly but, what he did next, caught you off-guard.

Instead of pulling away, he grabbed your wrist, forcing you to look him in the eyes, which were swimming with curiosity and hunger.

"I don't think you have," Cillian whispered, holding your gaze. "I think you're still mine, Y/N. And I think the idea of this, of us, excites you," he added, then moving his hand up to gently cup your check as he leaned forward and whispered in your ear. "I know it does. I can see it in your eyes," he added, causing a shiver to run down your spine as he breathed hot air against your skin.

"I have moved on," you whispered, though you couldn't help the way your breath caught in your throat as he traced his thumb along your lower lip.

"Like I said, I don't think you have," Cillian repeated, moving even closer to you until there was only an inch of space between your bodies.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. But then, you leaned forward and whispered back, "But what if I have?" as you felt your resolve to stay away from him crumbling away like sand through your fingers.

Cillian's breath caught in his throat for a moment, but then, he smiled slowly and leaned in even closer to you. "Then I'll just have to change your mind," he murmured, his voice low and husky with desire. And before you could even react, his lips were on yours, and you felt yourself giving in to the desire that had been building up inside of you for so long.

"There are people here who can see us,"  you breathed in between kisses as Cillian began to trail his lips along your jaw and down your neck, causing you to shiver.

"I don't care," Cillian murmured back, his hand gentle as he traced the curve of your waist.

"But I do," you insisted, biting your lip and Cillian finally pulled back, his gaze intense and dark.

"Then let's go somewhere else," he said, his voice low and commanding.

You swallowed, feeling your resolve crumble.

You wanted him. You wanted him so much that it consumed you, but you knew you couldn't give in. You had made a promise to yourself to move forward, to divorce yourself from the pain he had caused you. 

But that was easier said than done when he was standing right in front of you, his blue eyes burning into your soul, tempting you to lose control.

"Please," he begged, his hand reaching up to stroke your cheek so gently that it made you want to weep.

"Fine, but I am in charge," you told him before pulling him towards the elevator quickly. 

Your hands were shaking as you jammed your finger against the elevator button. You kept your gaze fixed on the shining number above the doors as you waited for the elevator to arrive, trying to keep your nerves at bay.

But, when the elevator doors eventually slid open, any composure you had managed to muster crumbled away completely. The thought of what you were about to do hit you, almost overwhelmingly, but you shook your head determinedly and stepped into the elevator, Cillian following close behind.

As soon as the doors closed, you turned to face Cillian. Your breathing was shallow and your heart was racing but, yet, there was a burning desire in your eyes that matched his own perfectly.

You grabbed Cillian's collar roughly, pulling him towards you as your lips crashed together fiercely, as though you couldn't wait another second.

"Just so that we are clear, this isn't us getting back together . This is just sex," you whispered against his lips, trying to assure yourself as much as him.

Cillian didn't respond, but instead, he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, holding you tightly against him.

He heard you, but for some reason, the words you spoke did not register with him . He only had one thing on his mind, and that was how good it felt to have you in his arms once again.

You deepened the kiss as you wrapped your arms around him. One of your hands moved up to tangle in his hair, while the other slipped under his suit jacket and began to explore his back.

Cillian let out a low growl as he felt your hands on him and he pushed himself closer against you, his arousal becoming more and more obvious as you continued to kiss him hungrily until, suddenly, the elevator dinged, indicating that it had arrived at your floor.

You broke the kiss, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you pulled away from Cillian, trying to steady yourself. Cillian's breathing was equally ragged and you could see the desire evident in his eyes as you both hurried out of the elevator and made your way down the corridor.

You fumbled with your key card for a moment, but eventually, you managed to open the door to your hotel room.

As soon as you entered, you turned to face Cillian, your gaze intense and full of desire.

You reached out and grabbed his suit jacket, pulling him towards you as your lips crashed together once more.

Cillian eagerly responded to your kisses, his hands roaming up and down your body, stopping to squeeze your ass.

"God, I've missed this," he moaned into your mouth, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

You pulled away for a moment, your breathing heavy. "But this doesn't mean we're back together," you reminded him, trying to keep some semblance of control over the situation.

Cillian just gasped in response; his eyes filled with hunger. "Okay," he said, although the words sounded hollow as he leaned in to kiss you once again, his tongue tracing the outline of your lips before delving into your mouth.

You moaned softly as you felt him push you back against the wall, his hand slipping under your dress as he began to hitch it up around your waist.

You gasped as you felt his hand on your thigh, sliding up towards the apex between your legs.

You felt your body tense with anticipation as his fingers lingered just above the waistband of your panties, and you couldn't help but writhe against his touch as he slowly began to explore your body.

"I want you so fucking much," he muttered against your lips, causing you to shiver in response.

You barely had time to reply before he slipped his hand inside your panties, his fingers finding your wetness almost immediately.

A low moan escaped your lips as he began to circle your clit, causing you to writhe against the wall with pleasure.

Cillian continued to tease you, his fingers tracing patterns along your wet folds until you couldn't take it anymore.

"Please," you begged, your voice barely above a whisper, and Cillian didn't hesitate.

He slipped a finger inside of you, causing you to gasp with pleasure.

He began to move it in and out, slowly at first, but soon picking up the pace as he watched your reactions.

"Fuck, you're so fucking tight," he murmured, his voice low and filled with desire. "I've missed this so much."

You moaned in response, your hips bucking against his hand as you felt yourself getting closer to the edge.

"Cillian, please," you begged, your voice breathy and needy. "I need more," you begged, but what he did next surprised you. 

Pulling on the fabric of your dress , Cillian tore your dress off of your body, damaging the fabric in the process of it, but not caring as he tossed it aside before pulling down your lace panties.

"Fuck Cillian, this was a 2,000 Euro dress," you cried out, but your words seemed to excite him instead of giving him pause.

"I don't care," he grunted; his focus entirely on you as he made you lift up one of your legs slightly before pushing you back against the wall. 

His lips then immediately found your neck while his fingers went back to work  , circling your clit and then slipping back inside of you.

You gasped with pleasure as he moved inside of you, his fingers hitting all the right spots while his mouth continued to explore your neck and shoulder.

"Cillian, more," you begged as the pleasure inside of you continued to build up and he didn't hesitate as he obeyed, his fingers pumping in and out of you with a renewed sense of urgency before, finally, he pressed the tip of his fingers against your g-spot skillfully. 

"Fuuuuuckkk," you shouted as waves of pleasure coursed through your entire body and you felt a powerful orgasm begin to engulf you.

Cillian wasted no time as he removed his fingers from inside of you and brought them to his lips, savoring the taste of your essence. He then dropped to his knees and placed a series of open-mouth kisses along the inside of them, making you shiver as the cool sensation of the air conditioning hit your wet pussy.

"Cillian, what are you-," you began to say but were quickly interrupted as he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking it gently into his mouth.

You gasped, your fingers immediately making their way into his hair, holding him in place as he began to flick his tongue against you.

"Oh fuck," you muttered, your back arching as you felt another wave of pleasure run through you, which is when he pushed his fingers back into you to finish what he had started.

He was so incredibly good at this and you knew that he wanted to make you squirt , a task he usually achieved quite easily like this. 

"Oh my fucking god yes," you eventually screamed, your hips bucking against him clumsily as he continued to suck on your clit, increasing the tempo as you came.

Your entire body shook with the force of your orgasm, and you felt yourself melting into the wall behind you, but even that didn't stop him from feasting on you until your orgasm had completely faded away.

As you slowly began to come down from the high, Cillian pulled back from you, rising to his feet.

"You ruined my suit," he  said with a grin as his fingers traced your now swollen lips.

"And you ruined my dress," you chuckled, still breathing heavily.

Cillian just shrugged, taking your hand in his and leading you over to the bed.

"Lie down," he  commanded and you eagerly obliged, feeling the weight of your body sink into the luxurious sheets.

You laid there for a moment, staring at Cillian as he finally undressed himself slowly.

Eventually, your gaze traveled downwards and landed on his straining erection, making your heart race with anticipation.

"Like what you see?" Cillian asked with a grin as he noticed your gaze and you nodded eagerly.

"You know I do," you whispered, biting down on your bottom lip, causing him to groan with desire. "Now come here and fuck me already!" you demanded, your voice dripping with lust.

Cillian, not one to ignore your needs, wasted no time in complying. He stalked towards you, eyes trained on your perfect form as you lay sprawled across the bed, completely naked. With a fluid, predatory motion, he crawled onto the bed next to you, one knee between your thighs, the other planted firmly on the mattress.

When he finally reached you, he leaned in, claiming your lips in a searing kiss, one arm wrapping around your waist to pull you closer while the other traveled up the side of your body, cupping your breasts.

You let out a soft, needy whimper into his mouth and your hands went to tangle themselves in his hair, pulling him even closer as he sucked on your tongue and nipped at your lower lip.

"I need you inside of me," you breathed, your thighs shifting restlessly against each other as he traced a hot, wet path down your neck.

"Not yet," Cillian murmured, his voice raw with desire. He moved his lips over your collarbones, tasting the salt of your skin.

You gasped as his fingers found your nipples, teasing them into hard pebbles. "Please," you begged, your voice trembling.

"Alright, fine," Cillian said, giving in to your demands and positioning himself between your legs.

He looked at you with an intensity that made your heart race and you felt your cheeks flush with anticipation.

You soon felt the tip  of his cock nudge against your entrance and you couldn't help but moan as he began to push inside of you.

It was slow at first as he slid in and out of you, adjusting to your tightness. You could feel his tears prickle in your eyes as he filled you up, and you could feel yourself growing wetter as he slid in and out of you, deepening the thrusts with each passing second.

"Fuck, Y/N, you feel so goddamn amazing," Cillian moaned, his breath hot and heavy against the crook of your neck.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him on. "Don't stop, Cillian, please," you begged, the words slipping past your lips in a ragged, gasping whisper.

"I wasn't planning  on it," Cillian growled back, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he continued to pound into you.

You could feel the pressure building up inside of you, and as you looked up into Cillian's face, you saw the same desire reflected back at you. He was as lost in this as you were, unable to think or feel anything beyond this moment. He was yours, and you were his, and nothing else mattered.

"Your cock feels so fucking good inside of me," you said, breathlessly, as you raked your fingers through his hair.

Cillian groaned in response, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he felt himself getting close to the edge. "Seeing you like this, so fucking wet and tight and ready for me, is the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen," he told you, his eyes burning with desire.

You nodded eagerly. "Please, fuck me harder, Cillian," you eventually begged, your hips bucking up to meet his thrusts and, of course, he didn't have to be told twice.

"Alright, then turn around,"  he grunted, pulling out of you as you eagerly flipped over onto your stomach, arching your back invitingly so that he could take you from behind.

Cillian didn't hesitate, his hands gripping your hips as he positioned himself at your entrance once more.

"I'm going to make sure that you won't forget this night," he promised darkly as he thrust into you, hard.

You cried out in response, biting into the sheets as he began to fuck you harder and faster than before.

"God, yes," you screamed as you pushed yourself back into each of his thrusts, eager to meet him halfway in this most intimate of acts. "Yesss, just like that!"

Cillian's breathing became more ragged with each passing moment and you reached up to grab the headboard, holding onto it for dear life as he took you hard and fast.

Sean never fucked you like this and you felt your orgasm building up inside of you quickly, threatening to overwhelm you almost at once.

"Cillian, I'm so close," you cried out, your voice hoarse with pleasure.

Cillian growled in response, his thrusts becoming even more erratic as he neared his own release. "Come for me, Y/N," he demanded hoarsely, his fingers digging into your hips as he held you in place.

And so, you did. You felt yourself shatter into a million pieces as the most powerful orgasm of your life tore through you.

Your back arched as you screamed out Cillian's name, your body trembling with the force of it.

Cillian didn't stop, but continued to thrust into you harder, the sound of his hips slapping against your ass echoing through the room.

"You feel so fucking good," he grunted, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as you clenched around him. 

You felt yourself shuddering with pleasure as he continued to fuck you, his thrusts becoming more erratic.

You knew he was close, and the thought of making him come inside you was almost enough to push you over the edge again.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum," he grunted, and you felt him swell inside of you, filling you up even more than before.

"Yes, give it to me," you moaned, your voice hoarse with pleasure. "Cum inside me, Cillian. I want to feel you cum inside me."

And with a final, powerful thrust, he did. You could feel the warmth of his release as he pulsed inside of you, filling you up with his hot seed.  You parted your lips as you moaned, enjoying the sensation of his warmth filling you up.

Cillian held you up by the waist, his body still shaking from the intense pleasure. You wrapped your arms around his neck, staring into his eyes as he held you close, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he kept himself buried inside of you.

"That was – " you gasped, trying to catch your breath. "I..."

Cillian leaned in and kissed your back softly. "Incredible," he murmured, his lips ghosting against your skin.

You nodded in agreement, your breathing still shallow and rapid until, suddenly, his next words caught you off-guard. 

"I love you so much Y/N," he whispered against your skin as you felt Cillian's cock soften inside of you and slowly slip out.

You froze. The words hung in the air, heavy with meaning and regret and you couldn't believe he had just said that to you.

Slowly, you turned around to face him, your eyes burning with a mixture of surprise and resentment. "Cillian, this doesn't mean  anything," you bit out, your voice ragged from your orgasm. "We aren't back together, and we're not going to be."

Cillian's face fell at your words, and you could see the pain in his eyes as you spoke. "Then why the fuck did you sleep with me?" he asked, his voice hoarse with emotion. "Doesn't Sean do it for you?" Cillian asked, a twinge of hurt in his voice.

"I said that this would just be sex, nothing more," you reminded him as he rolled off the bed and gathered his clothes.

"Fine," he sighed, not looking at you as he dressed. 

"Cillian, wait, what are you doing?"  you asked, your voice worried as you watched him pull his shirt on.

"I'm leaving," he said, still not looking at you as he buttoned up his shirt. "If that's all this is to you, then why the fuck should I stay?" 

"Cillian, please," you said, getting up from the bed and walking towards him. "I'm sorry, but I can't just pretend that all is fine and forgotten between us."

Cillian turned to face you, his eyes filled with pain and anger. "You know what, Y/N?" he began. "You are no better than me," he  snapped, his eyes narrowed.

You flinched at his words, the sting of his accusation hitting you like a punch to the gut. "That's not fair, Cillian," you whispered, your voice shaking. "I am not the one who cheated," you reminded him.

But Cillian was blinded by his own pain and anger, unable to see past his own hurt. "No you are not, but you are using me just the way you are using Sean, although I am just not sure for what," he  fired back, his voice low and full of venom.

You felt your throat constrict at his words and you struggled to swallow the lump that had suddenly formed in your throat.

"What are you talking about?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper but Cillian didn't give you an answer.

"Look, if fucking around is what you really want, then fine. Go and enjoy yourself," he said with a sigh, his back still to you. "But I can't do this again, Y/N. I can't keep pretending that there's nothing between us when there clearly still is, and I am not going to be your back in call either." Cillian finished quietly, and then, before you could say another word, he turned around and walked out the door.

Needless to say, that night, you did not sleep  well. As you tossed and turned in your now-cold sheets, the words he had said to you repeated in your mind on a continuous loop.

As if to make matters even worse, the following morning, when you arrived at breakfast, you were worried that you would be running into Cillian again, but was relieved to see that he wasn't there.

You took your seat across from Siobhan whose husband was still in bed, passed out after having consumed too much champagne on his wedding night.

"So, you left early last night? With my brother out of all people," Siobhan commented with a knowing smile on her lips.

"How do you know?"  you asked, feeling the color rise in your cheeks, which is when Siobhan pulled out her phone.

"You won't like it, but I think you were seen and it's all over the internet,"  she explained hesitantly while handing the phone over to you.

As you took the device, your eyes scanned the slew of images that had been taken of you, depicting the two of you, well, entwined in a very messy situation.

"Oh god,"  you muttered incredulously as you took in the images, each more compromising than the next.

"It's not a big deal if you ask me. It's just a kiss and some PDA. Everyone does it, so why not celebrities," Siobhan tried to calm you down. "Despite, what matters most is that you are together again and that's a good thing,"  she added, trying to put a positive spin on things, but you couldn't help but feel embarrassed and humiliated. 

"God, I wish I could disappear right now," you muttered, closing your eyes and pressing your palms against your face.

Siobhan reached out and gently squeezed your shoulder, a reassuring squeeze. "It will blow over, and things will go back to normal," she said with conviction.

But you knew better than to believe that.

"Perhaps, but we aren't back together Siobhan. In fact, I think I made a huge mistake last night, jeopardizing our co-parenting relationship for good," you  replied, feeling the weight of your guilt settle on your shoulders.

Tags:

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[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Can you write HC about bill kaulitz dating a fem reader with daddy issues? ( sorry guys, it’s my dads fault ) thank you! 💗🙏

(I've been trying to post this but it souldnt let me 😭)

Seven

And I've Been Meaning To Tell You, I think Your House Is Haunted

"(Name), you have to understand!" Bill tried to reason with you as he followed after you.

"Understand what?! That you think my dad's a bad guy?!" You whipped back around, yelling back like Bill was crazed for even having the thought.

"How is he not?!" Bill exclaimed, yelling as he tried to get his own point of view across to you.

"Because! He's my dad! You don't have a right to say that!" You stated, poking Bill in the chest as you yelled, fed up and wanting to hear none of it.

"Seriously, after everything he's put you through you're gonna defend him! He's not a good dad!" Bill has enough, grabbing your wrist gently not to hurt you but to stop you from poking him.

"Yes, he is!" You denied, tugging back your hand from his as you refused to acknowledge what was in front of you.

"How can you say that?!"

"Because, Bill! He's my dad!" You yelled back, your voice cracking as your eyes filled with tears.

"He's my dad. He- he just gets angry sometimes. It's not his fault, it's mine." You stated, sniffling as a sob broke through and you wiped your tears.

Bill's expression softened as he saw you trying to hug yourself, shelving the argument for now.

Bill took your arms from around yourself, replacing them around his waist as he held the back of your head and hugged you.

"He's not a bad guy…he's my dad. I love my dad…" you mumbled into his shoulder through your tears and sobs, clinging to Bill's shirt.

"I know, I know you do." Bill nodded, kissing the side of your head as he held you.

"He loves me too, right? He has to." You almost begged, looking up at Bill for an answer as you did your best to remain intact and keep the image of how the little kid you used to be looked at her dad.

Your Dad's Always Mad And That Must Be Why

Bill was woken up abruptly, barely past two AM before he sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.

He looked over to the window, the source of the intense tapping. He was about to freak, or yell for them to go away before he paused, seeing your apologetic and sheepish smile in his window.

Bill sighed, giving you a small and reassuring smile as he threw his legs over the bed, his feet hitting the cold floor as he went to open it.

"Sorry…" you mumbled, slipping through as Bill held your hand and helped you.

"It's fine." Bill smiled teasingly, using his hand that held yours to tug you into a hug, knowing you needed it more than him.

He kissed your forehead, feeling the way your fingers idly messed with the fabric of his shirt before he pulled away, watching as you guided yourself to his bed

"What happened now?" Bill asked, sitting on the edge as you slid into the covers. He watched the light happiness you held drain from your eyes, replaced with a frown.

Bill's own frown made its way, he tapped your chin for you to look at him as he saw you look away.

"Your dad?" He asked, hearing your silence and the way you looked away, and knowing his answer now.

Bill sighed, moving to sit next to you, sliding into the comforter himself as he laid down, immediately feeling the weight of your head on his chest as his fingers raked through your hair.

"Same old. He got mad…mama and him argued. I left." You mumbled out, eyes almost closed as you held onto Bill's side like it was your lifeline.

"It's okay." Bill said once more, having to say it more to you than anyone else in his life, but he was okay with that.

"It'll be over as soon as it starts. Don't gotta worry. You can stay with me…" Bill said, feeling you nod against his chest as he looked down to see your tired eyes.

Bill laughed softly, running his nails softly against your back and under your shirt, kissing your head once more as your eyes shut.

He couldn't help but wonder though. What did you do to deserve defending someone even if they didn't deserve it?

And I Think You Should Come Live With Me

"Live with you?" You asked, smiling and almost laughing with the suggestion.

"Why not?" Bill asked, head in your lap as you threaded your fingers through his rarely, gel free hair.

"You know I can't." You mumbled, shaking your head as Bill sighed, using his hand to knit his fingers with yours that was thrown over his stomach.

"You can…you don't need to feel guilty." Bill answered, kissing your knuckles as you frowned, looking away from his eyes as he tried to look into yours.

"My siblings need me and so does my dad…I'm sorry." You ended, sighing as you shook off the tears that almost fought through, wanting nothing more than to just do it.

But you couldn't.

Bill sighed as well, putting the conversation away for the next time as he chose to look up at you from your lap, placing his palm to your cheek as he ran his thumb over your cheek.

You smiled as he did so, and Bill mimicked it.

At least now he had you, right?

And We Can Be Pirates

"I'll save you, (Name)!" An eight year old Bill cried, a fake goatee on his chin along with a made up pirate costume, wielding a plastic sword.

"You won't get through me!" Tom said, fake fighting back his brother onto the ground.

"Noo! I must save them!" Bill cried dramatically, tackled by Tom onto his back as he reached out, you sitting on the grass completely undisturbed.

"I kinda like it here." You shrugged, picking at the flowers.

"That's not the line, (Name)!" Bill and Tom broke character, causing you to roll your eyes before you dramatically put the back of your hand to your forehead.

"Oh, no! Somebody help me!" You cried out in a high pitched voice.

"I will!" Bill tried, only to hear the snap of plastic.

"I think your sword broke..."

"Tom!"

Then You Won't Have To Cry

Bill sat across from you, using his thumb once more to wipe the tears caused by someone who should be wiping them.

Your dad.

"This is so pathetic, I mean, why am I crying?" You laughed at yourself, doing your best to wipe your own tears so as to not show Bill you actually had the ability to cry.

Crying in front of someone was foreign, something you learned to never do unless you wanted something to cry about.

Something you learned from your dad.

"You have a right to cry. Your dad wasn't right in what he said…" Bill reassured, finishing his job as he moved to sit next to you, moving to fiddle with your fingers.

"Well, that's my dad for you." You faked enthusiasm, fake jazz hands and you laughed softly once more, but Bill could hear the sniffles in your tone.

Bill sighed, leaning to kiss the side of your head.

You said nothing more, comforted by the silence.

Bill knew that you meant well, for everyone, at least. Everyone but yourself.

Bill tried to get you to be able to treat yourself better, to be selfish and leave and be with him and actually happy, away from your dad's ways.

But Bill couldn't do it anymore, you wouldn't even accept it.

So Bill would just sit there, a comforting hand and shoulder as he tried to get through.

And Bill would always be there, until he did get through.

Or Hide In The Closet

Bill leaned against the closet door, having snuck in through the open window as he actively ignored the yelling of your parents.

He knocked thrice with his knuckles before softly tapping once, a small little indication it was him.

No words came from inside, but Bill stepped back as he felt the soft knock back, your foot opening one door quickly before it diverted back.

"Hi..." Bill mumbled, a bare smile on his face as he slipped in. You glanced up at him, pressed up against the wall with your knees to your chest.

Bill frowned at your silence, but knowing he wouldn't get much more, he sat next to you. Shoulder to shoulder, back to the wall.

He could only revel in the silence, frowning more so at your sniffles but reveling in the fact you called him, not anyone else.

He also reveled in how you put your head on his shoulder and let him wrap an arm around yours, letting you breath in the cologne you got him.

And just like a corny love song or folk song, the boy sat with the girl for however long she needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@billsjum6ie @bigbootahjudy @ilovebill-and-gustav @fullw0rld @kiwitsune @V4mpyboyy @novaaisstupid @billybabeskaulitz @yas-v @iischafer @dilfverz @ahswhore0 @graciegizmo3184 @sweetpuffy12 @80s-tingz @ryiana @yuriayato5 @bunnysenpai31 @banshailey @bellastoner420 @victryzvv9 @stxngnr @killed-kiss @stilesandjames @m00nzyblogs @sylisan @lyzit @trixiekaulitz @laylasbunbunny @5hyslv7 @limaswife @nyxwritesshit

[nixiliv]

REST

Authors Ramble : Hi! This is my first post. This is my first time ever letting anyone read something I've written. I'm nervous, but it's cool. This was written super fast from a random thought trying to go to sleep. Hope you enjoy!

PS: If you have any tips on writing, do share. byyeee

Pairing: Chan x reader

Genre : Fluff

Usually you were the one trying to coax Chan to get some sleep, but for the past month the roles have reversed. Between full-time work and deciding to take some college courses to fluff up your resume for an opening that will soon be coming up in your job, you haven’t been getting to bed before 2 am.

Chan has found you more than once on the couch with laptop in your lap, and your head is leaned back, mouth wide open snoring. You would be so embarrassed if you knew he had seen you like that, but he thinks it's the cutest thing. His baby girl is putting in the extra effort to achieve a goal she has set her mind to. That's one of the things he loved about you, you were determined when you set your mind to something. He could tell though all this hard work was taking a toll on you. You weren’t eating much, you weren’t interested in going out anywhere, and though you always looked good you looked so tired. And not to mention he swears you have had on the same shirt for three days now.

Chan had been coming home unusually early this past week. You noticed, but didn’t think much of it. You were too busy caught up in your studies. It was getting close to midnight and he noticed your head starting to droop. “Babe? Don’t you think we should get some shut eye, yeah?” Chan said, startling you a little out of your light slumber.  “No…no. I’m good. Just stretching my neck”, while showing how you were so-called stretching your neck. “ I finished a quiz and I wanted to get ahead in my other class because work is gonna be a doozy next week.”

Chan doesn’t respond and goes back to what he is doing, but the face he gives you isn’t convinced that you don’t need to call it a night.

The words on your screen are starting to swim together and your eyes are burning. You keep trying to blink the sleep away. One of your telltale signs you are fighting sleep is when you start to fidget, touching your face, rubbing your arms, anything to stimulate your senses. You let out a big yawn with a big stretch, “ I’m thinking another cup of coffee is needed ” you say to yourself. Standing up to head to the kitchen, Chan grabs your wrist as you are about to walk past, “ Oh no you don’t.” he says while standing up to get in front of you. 

“What are you doing? I want to get some coffee.” 

“You don’t need anymore coffee. You need sleep!”

You took slight offense to his response, “ Excuse you. I know you're not the one telling someone they should go to bed. I have important things I need to get done too, just like you do. So move!”

Chan let out a deep breath. He knows that snarky remark all too well, because that has been the way he has responded more than once. It’s just exhaustion. As you were trying to walk through him, he hoisted you up over his shoulder. You began to fight and fuss, “PUT ME DOWN! CHAN NOW!”  You were kicking and punching, thrashing around like a fish out of water. None of your attempts to escape fazed him. In fact he thought it was funny. “Y/N, relax. You are just gonna hurt yourself.”  While you didn’t hurt yourself, he was right about you wearing yourself out. With you still on his shoulder he walked you both into the bathroom and placed you on the toilet. “Let’s get us ready for bed.”

You pouted while brushing teeth and washing face, but after getting out of the tub from your hot bath you were feeling so relaxed. Chan laid out a pair of pajamas for you while he straightened the area in the living room you were studying in. After getting dressed, you snuggle underneath the cool blankets. They smelled of lavender. Your eyes were feeling heavy. 

Moments later you feel the bed move, Chan pulls you close to him on his chest. “Night night baby girl”, Chan whispers with a kiss to your forehead. All you can do is grunt in response and snuggle closer letting the warmth of his body envelop you to sleep.

[inksoakedparchment]

Your husband snaps at you

pairing: sebastian stan x fem!reader

genre: angst x tiny bit of fluff

trope: falling marriage

word cunt: 3920

tw: swearing, my english

summary: he was busy in the last two months and when he comes home he snaps at you

a/n: i didn’t cry i swear (I did). also HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ONLY LOVE, SEBASTIAN<3

You and Sebastian were a famous Hollywood couple, everyone loved them. He's known as a great actor and you're a awesome singer. Last two months he's been quite of busy and had very little time to spend it with you, he would just come home from the set and then go straight to bed, yet you're always craved a lot of attention and affection.

He came home, tired as always but you tried to stop him by his arm but he snapped at you saying;

“Stop it, you're annoying!”

“What?” you froze.

He takes off his shoes and jacket before walking further into the house as he looks over at you.

"I said you're being annoying so knock it off…”

“Seb I see you once a week because of your job and okay I get it but when you're home you almost don't look at me” you choke on your own words.

"I'm doing what I need to do to earn money, you don't think I wanna see you more? I can't right now,” he places his jacket on the couch in the living room.

“I know…” you look down thinking about what he said.

"But please don't be all clingy when I am home, I'm tired.." he walks up to you, placing his hands on your hips as he looks into your eyes.

“I'm trying Seb, but I miss you every day. and I just want to cuddle up with you, be next to you when I can,” you shut your eyes.

He lets out a small sigh before pulling you into a hug.

"I know you do.. I miss you too, okay? But please stop bugging me 24/7. I'm just tired.." he buries his head into your neck.

“I’ll try,” you whisper.

"Thank you…” he says softly before lifting your head and kissing your forehead. He looks tired but still as handsome as ever.

“I'm going to sleep” you escape from his grip.

"Already? You don't wanna go to the bed with me first?" he asks, clearly wanting more of your attention as he pulls you back against him and looks down at you.

“I'm annoying and you're tired” you hum and go up to your bedroom.

"Don't do that bullshit on me," he says and follows you to the bedroom, grabbing your arm and making you turn over to look at him.

“Sebastian you just said you're tired and I'm annoying. I do not want to have sex with you right now,” you sigh.

"I'm not talking about sex. I mean I'm tired but I at least want you to be in the same room as me,” he says and moves over to grab your wrists, pinning you up against the wall as he caged you against it.

“We sleep in the same bed?” you ask sarcastically.

He pins your wrists over your head on the wall, trapping you.

“You know what I mean.." he says, his eyes looking into yours before he smirks a bit and places a kiss on your neck.

“Don't do this. I'm not in the mood,” you try to escape your wrists from his grip.

He doesn't let you, he presses you more against the wall and continues to shower your neck in kisses and small hickeys that he started to leave on your skin.

“Can you just behave for once? I need you,” he groans.

“Sebastian, please don’t,” you sob.

He stops for a moment but don't let go of your wrists. He looks at you, his face looks desperate for your attention as he feels hurt by you denying him.

"Why can't you just give me what I want for once?.. I do so much for you all day, why can't you do this one thing for me?"

“Don’t do this to me,” a tear escapes from your eyes.

He leans in and presses his forehead against yours.

"Please, baby... Just give me this once, I'm begging you,” he mutters, his voice sounding pained. He is desperate for you but doesn’t understand why you don’t want him.

“I don’t want to have sex right now,” you cry.

He lets out a sigh and places his head on your shoulder, his breathing is uneven and he holds you against the wall.

"Why not?" he says, his voice is soft now and he doesn't sound angry, he just sounds tired and upset.

“I’m not in the mood,” you shake your head, sobbing.

"Why're you crying, doll? I just want you, why don't you want me?" he lets go of your wrists and wraps his arms around you instead, his face buried in your neck.

“Because I had to beg you to stop” I cry “I want you but not now.”

"I only stopped because you were being difficult.."

He mumbles against your skin, trying to press himself as close to you as he can. He wants you so bad it was like he needs you and it feels so desperate.

“I'm going to shower” you sob and you lock yourself in the bathroom.

"Why can't you just give me what I want for once? You just don't want to give me affection,” he places his forehead against the door after you locked it, his breathing still uneven as his heart aches. He feels like you are cold towards him on purpose or something.

“If you want to have sex then go find some slut in the street,” you cry and you slap the door.

He clenches his fist when he hears that, a deep breath escapes his lips as anger surges through him.

"Don't say that,” he says through gritted teeth, trying hard not to snap at you.

You quickly stand under the shower and let the water run. He leans against the door, letting out a shaky breath as he tries to calm down. Your words are like a slap in the face for him. It is a very vulnerable time for him as he was feeling desperate for your affection and the fact that you just told him to find a random girl hurt him a lot.

After you are done you put on an oversized t-shirt that's his and your sweatpants. You go back to your bedroom where he’s lying on the bed but he’s wide awake and he doesn’t look very happy either. The things you said to him played on repeat in his mind and are bothering him, but hearing the door open he looks up and sees you. You lay down next to him and curl up under the blanket. He lays on his side, looking down at you as you curl up. He is unsure what to say for a moment before he speaks quietly.

"You really would have sent me out there to find some random girl?”

“If you wanted to fuck me when I clearly said I don't want to, yes. I didn't want you to rape me because you want to have sex,” you shut your eyes.

Those words make his body tense, he hates being accused that way. He never ever wants to harm you like that.

“Don't say things like that… I would never do that. I was just a bit desperate…”

“A bit? Seb, you only realized what are you doing when I started crying,” I look up at him.

He can’t look you in the eyes. He knows you have a point, the fact that he makes you cry had never been his intention ever.

"I.. I’m just missing you a lot. I haven’t seen you much and I just wanted some attention.. I wasn’t thinking clearly,” he sighs.

“Wanted some attention? Minutes before you said ‘You’re annoying and don't so clingy’,” you shake your head.

"Because you are annoying me! You just don’t listen.. when I'm tired at home the only thing you do is cling to me and it irritates me so much.." he says, the words just seem to come out and he knows he’s messing up right now, but he is upset and tired of being neglected. He’s desperate for you but you just don’t want him as badly he wants you right now.

When you hear those words, you curl up more under the blanket. He looks at you and sighs. He knows he shouldn’t say things like that to his wife.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean that…”

“Yeah, right,” you mumble and close your eyes, holding back your tears. He’s going to be gone at tomorrow morning, because he’s shooting a new movie again.

He reaches a hand out and places it on your shoulder, gently caressing it with his thumb trying to get you to look at him. He can see how you look so small and vulnerable now.

“I swear I didn’t mean it.. you’re not annoying and clingy, I didn’t mean that.. please look at me.." but you move away from his touch.

Sebastian hates that, he hates that you moves away from his touch. He wants to hold you close right now and pull you into his arms, to feel you close to him, but you’re moving away and he hates himself for making you feel that way. It’s his fault.

“Please don’t pull away.. I’m sorry for what I said.. I was just irritated, I didn’t mean that at all.. I swear.."

“Use your hand if you feel so needy for an orgasm,” you say under your breath.

He freezes when you say that, his body tenses up again and his heart drops. The mood is very tense and he can feel that you are upset and he can see that you don’t want to be close to him right now at all.

“Don’t… don’t say things like that, baby. I’m just tired, you know I don’t just want that, I want you, not sex.”

You stand up, picking up your pillow and blanket, then you go to one of your guest rooms. He follows you, begging you for stay next to him, but you shit the door before he can go in.

He presses his forehead against the door and exhales a shaky breath as he knocks on it once more.

“Baby, please let me in,” he knows he doesn’t have the right to ask for that after all the crap he just said to you but it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t want to sleep without you right now.

“Go back and sleep well,” you sigh after you opem the door.

"Please, don’t make me sleep all alone in our bed, he says, his voice more quiet and his eyes just filled with guilt and sadness.

“Sebastian you acted like I’m just a hole where you can put your dick. You didn’t act like I’m your wife.”

The realization that he acted like that, now dawns on him and he feels so bad. How could he say something like that to you in the heat of the moment? How could he be such a dick to you, his wife? He’s suppose to love you so deeply and be the best for you. Yet here he is, standing in the doorway feeling like the worst person in the world. He doesn’t know what to say to that, he just looks down to the floor as the weight of his words and actions starts to hit him harder and harder.

“You said when we got home im annoying and ‘dont be clingy 24/7’, you’re tired. I see you only four times in a month, six if I’m lucky! How don’t I be clingy when I only wait for my husband to come back home from another shoot? And yes I understand your job, you’re an actor, okay. But you can’t act like I’m just a hole what you can fuck, then be distant with me when you’re home. I almost never want to have sex when you’re home only cuddling and talking, but what the fuck can I do, when you just want me for my pussy when you’re here? The last time i felt like a stranger raped me, because you were silent and fast, then turned around and went to sleep. I just layed next to you like I’m a sextoy. A slut. A hole. And now? You’re sayin’ I’m annoying, clingy and you’re tired, but when I say ‘no’ for the sex you’re almost doesn’t hear me sayin’ ‘no’? Just when I started crying?” you burst out and tell him everything what you feel.

He freezes when you say all of that. The words hit him like a train, he doesn’t know how long he has been acting like this and he hadn’t realized how much hurt he’s putting on you. He can only stand there and listen. Listen to you, telling him how horrible he was treating you, being so neglectful of you. Hearing you say all of that made him want to punch himself in the face for being such an idiot and not seeing that he was hurting you this much.

“You know the amount of ‘divorce’ came to my mind in the last two months? A lot. I love you, but I can’t act like I don’t care about the amount of sex you want, but not me. Yes I care about that you never want to talk with me when you’re home, yes I care about you never want just cuddle up with me, sharing a bottle of wine and have a deep talk. Or watch a movie. I care about that and it hurts so fucking much you don’t want me just my pussy, I’m still your wife but I don’t know how long can I do this.”

Each word hurts like dagger being plunged into his chest. He sees it now, he was just using you and he knows how wrong that was to do, you are always so good to him and he just took advantage of that. He leans against the wall, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth as he squeezes his eyes shut. The feeling of guilt and regret washes over him. He doesn’t want to get a divorce, of course he doesn’t… He loves you and he needs you more than anything but he hurt you.

“You know how I feel when you’re touching me? I’m afraid you want to have sex at every soft or desire touch. I only see you a few times in a month which I can count on one hand. And I miss you, I love you Sebastian, but it’s a lot in the last two months. Sex, sex, sex, ‘youre annoying, don’t be clingy, I’m tired, leave me alone, I don’t want to talk right now, sex, sex, sex’ that’s what I get every day when you’re home. I get it you’re an actor. I still married you because I love you. I love your movies, but it’s not about your job, it’s about me. I feel like you don’t love me anymore, only keep me because of when you get home you can fuck. You don’t want to talk, you are don’t curious about how I am doing, I want to talk with you. Talk and cuddle. I think I’ve had enough of sex for a while. My body rejects your touch, doesn’t want your touch.”

“I do love you, I love you so much,” he tries to walk closer, wanting to reach you, wanting so badly to hold you as he hates this distance between you both right now. You wouldn’t even let him touch you but he doesn’t blame you for that at all. He’s the one to blame for your current situation. He wants to show you how much he loves you but how can he do that now that you don’t even want him to touch you.

“If you want to touch me because you want sex, don’t even try. If you want to touch me because you need me and you need a hug, a cuddle then go ahead,” you sigh, feeling relief after you said everything what was on your mind.

He stops walking, just looking at you. He can see the pain in your face, how badly you’re hurting. It makes his heart ache. He wants to hold you in his arms but he doesn’t know if you would even let him.

“I just want to touch you because I need you, not for sex… I just miss you,” he hugs you tightly and gently.

“You didn’t even look like you miss your wife in the past few months,” you mumble in his chest.

He feels you wrap your arms around him and he squeezes you tighter in his arms, needing you even closer. He presses a soft kiss in your hair.

“I missed you so much. I’m sorry I haven’t been showing that I miss you. I’ve been such a dick…”

“You were,” you caress his back.

He still can’t wrap his head around how he let things get so bad.

“I’m so sorry that I did that. I’m sorry I let things get so bad between us. Please… Please forgive me for being a shitty husband,” he begs.

“I’m trying Sebastian, but I think the days what’s coming, when you’re gonna be gone for work will be good for me to think. You need to sleep, tomorrow morning you’re going away for days again,” you whisper.

“We’ll talk about us, when I come home?” he asks hopefully and you nod.

eleven days later

Yesterday he came home from work, and he just fell on the bed and immediately fell asleep after he told you; today you’re gonna talk.

He sits in the living room when you go in and turn off the tv. You sit down in the fotel, staring his pale face.

“I think we had enough time to wake up totally so the talk about us…” you sigh.

He nods his head, his heart beating faster in his chest as you speak. He is nervous about the talk but he knows, it was going to come sooner or later and he tells himself he needs to be prepared to hear what you have to say about the two of you.

“Yeah… yeah let’s talk…”

“I thought every day about our… situation? And I don’t know if I want to do this. I don’t know if I still want to be in a marriage with you,” you take a deep breath.

His heart feels like a knife plungs into it at your words. He knows it is going to be a hard conversation but he didn’t expect you to flat out come out and say that you don’t know if you want to be married to him anymore. He just freezes for a few seconds, his heart clenches in his chest, as his eyes meet yours.

He slowly clears his throat, trying to not let his voice sound too shaky.

“Y-You…. You don’t want to be married to me anymore…?”

“I don’t know Sebastian. But for me a marriage is not this.”

He slowly nods as he hears you say that. Part of him doesn’t want to hear this conversation, although he knows he would have to listen to whatever you have to say. He looks at you for a few seconds, studying your features, the way your face looks so focused and serious right now.

“So what exactly is a marriage to you, then?”

“Dates. Quality time. More time with each other. I know your job is about to travelling and shooting but Sebastian, you have a wife too, who wants to be with you and if you can’t give me that… i think it’s over for us. If I have to, I can travel with you sometimes but when I wanted to do it three months ago you almost bit my head off. You didn’t want to.”

He stays quiet as you speak, letting your words sink in his mind. He knows that you are right, he knows he has been prioritizing his work over spending time with you for the past while… and he’s very well aware of the fact that he had been so against the idea of you travelling with him when he’s working.

He’s quiet for a few moments before he speak, his voice a soft whisper.

“I don’t want it to be over. I want you, I want to be with you.”

“I’m thinking about a compromise. What can save us, save our marriage,” you say quietly.

“I’m listening,” he leans forward.

“Sebastian I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t live like I lived in the past months. So the compromise is; I’m travelling with you once a month and you’ll be home minimum for 10 days,” you swallow and you sit next to him, sobbing.

He wants nothing more than to hold you in his arms, to bring you close to him and never let you go… but again, he holds himself back from doing it. Instead, his voice comes out strangled as he answers you.

“Yes, I can do that. I’ll do every single thing you need me to do,” he looks at you with a soft smile.

“I hope you don’t think I don’t love you anymore, because I love you. That’s why I thought about us,” you lean your head on his shoulder.

“I love you more than anything…” he says under his breath as soon as he feels you lean your head on his shoulder.

He doesn’t dare to do anything other than just stay still with you there resting on his shoulder. It feels good just to be able to have you like this after all those weeks of you pulling away and keeping a certain distance from him. The fact that you’re there, resting your head on his shoulder, feels almost like a dream from how much he missed you like that.

“You can touch me, Sebby. But please, I’m begging you only touch me, if you don’t want to have intimate things,” you look at him, with sad expression and you lean on his chest.

He wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him in a soft, tight embrace. He can already feel himself getting addicted to this, the feeling of having you there, snuggled up in his lap, resting on his chest… he can go on forever like that. He nuzzles your head lightly with his chin as he spoke softly to you.

“God I’ve missed holding you like this…”

“Me too, Seb. What do you think? Are we gonna be okay?” you ask with a heavy heart.

“Yeah… yeah, I think we’re going to be okay. As long as we make an effort to communicate things between us, we’re gonna be totally okay.” he slowly nods, his hand runs through your hair lightly as he speak. He tries to keep his voice steady, tries to not let any of the fear or insecurity in his voice show as he speak to you.

“Okay,” you kiss his hand.

He can’t help the small smirk that creps on his lips as you kiss his hand. It’s a silly, small, thing but it makes him feel really happy for some reason. He tangles his fingers with yours, gently squeezing your hand between his.

“I love you, Y/N. You’re my everything,” he gives a kiss on your forehead.

“I love you too, Seb. I feel the same,” you snuggle up more to him.

tag list: @sunkissedscribbles @kandis-mom

[mockerycrow]

Undercover V (Soap x GN!Reader)

undercover series masterlist - previous | next

Summary: Your stress is staying at it’s peak for the time being as you come to terms that you’re staying under a secure watch until you’re properly evaluated, under the wise eyes of John “Soap” MacTavish. Chapter five, otherwise known as “babysitting duty”.

A/N: I’m so sorry for taking literally a month for this chapter. I’m so glad you guys are still loving this series. This a bit of a humorous filler, so I apologize. Next chapter will have more story!! &lt;3

[WARNINGS: Mentions of genocide and human trafficking, inaccurate medical stuff.]

“Truth has many shades; it is not a matter of black and white, but grey.” -Morgan Freeman.

AFTER MY WHOLE failed evaluation, they allowed me to rest again, which I’m half thankful for, half not. I got a few hours of sleep in, but not enough to feel good about. The ache of sitting in a bed for a couple days is finally beginning to kick in so much so that I can’t sleep. I woke up really early in the morning, around 3 AM. I wasn’t surprised to see the lights in my room to be off, but I was surprised to vaguely see a figure in my room which at first freaked me the fuck out, but I quickly realized was Soap. I can’t make his features out enough to see if he’s awake or not, but I don’t care.

I need to get out of this damn bed.

I move my handcuffed hand a bit to grasp onto the hospital bed railing and I begin to slowly pull myself from my bed, hissing as new aches bloom across my healing wounds. Especially my damn stomach area, fuck. I ignore the pain blooming underneath my skin and I manage to get myself into a sitting position, and I can already feel some relief hitting me once I’m not laying back against a surface. I slowly curl one of my legs up, a soft noise leaving my lips as I feel my muscles in my leg thank me for bending my leg. I hear Soap stir, but I don’t pay him any mind. He makes a “hmm?” sound as I take a slow deep breath, allowing the aches in my wounds to subside.

“What’re you doin’?” Soap grumbles out, voice thick and heavy with sleep, making him a bit hard to understand when combined with his accent. He inhales loudly as he stretches and I glance at my handcuffs. “Sitting up.” I reply curtly. Can he not fucking see??

..I forgot it’s dark in here. Anyway..

“Ya need to lay back down and rest—“ I groan. “All I’ve been doing is laying down! My back fuckin’ hurts, man! I’m tired of sitting here like a wet noodle.” Soap gets up from his seat and walks closer to me—which isn’t that far of a distance, honestly, since Soap’s chair is considerably close to my bed. I notice his gloves are still on as he puts a hand on my shoulder, which he must’ve chosen the sore shoulder because I since and shy away from his touch. “Ow.”

Soap quickly retracts his hand, wincing himself in sympathy. “Look, it’s late, aye? Why don’t ya lay down fer now, have tha’ doctors help you in the mornin’?” His eyes glance up at the clock up on the wall, squinting his eyes to look as it’s dark in here. I groan and bite my lip, silently licking and choosing my battles. He is right, it’s much better for me to wait until the doctors or nurses come and help me. I sigh and make a motion with my free hand. “Alright.”

I manage to get myself laid back onto the bed, and I keep looking at my handcuffs. I move my cuffed hand around as I look at Mohawk, gesturing to my cuffed wrist now. “Okay, tell me how truly necessary this is. It’s getting a bit tiring.” My tone is a bit.. curt, and I don’t mean it, but I’m getting antsy in this room and I fucking hate just laying here. I’m uses to being out on the field, so sitting in one place doesn’t do me much good. Soap snorts as he sits himself back in his chair and without looking, grabs his sketchbook notebook thing from where he stuffed it between my mattress and the frame of the hospital type bed. “I dinnae ken how i can say this in a nicer way but, you’re.. considered a risk of some sort by the dafties overseein’ ya.”

I blink at him for a moment and he has a sheepish look on his face, his free hand coming up behind his head and scratching it. I pretend that I know one hundred of what he said—look, sometimes Scottish accents are hard to understand. “You’re one of the ‘dafties’ overseeing me.”

“You know what I mean!” Soap grumbles. I pause for a moment and keep my eyes on him, my fingers absentmindedly drawing patterns into the fabric of my blanket. “Do you think I’m a risk, Soap?”

Soap takes a moment to look back at me, and I mean really look back at me. His eyes pierce through mine again, taking in every detail of my face—and that causes me to look away again, because it makes me feel weird. “I mean.. Maybe. If I had ta’make the final decision, I’d let ya roam, but with someone to watch over ya.” His voice is serious as he seemingly tells me the truth about what he thinks. In a way, I find comfort in his words but I also.. don’t.

It hurts to know that they consider me so unstable.

“You should go back ta’sleep.”

I don’t answer and I look down at my fingers as my index finger scratches at the corner of my thumbnail. It feels like my damn nerves are on fire. “Can’t.” I mutter, and I curse myself when my voice is barely audible. Soap seems to catch what I said, though, because his eyebrow raises in an questioning manner. “Ya haven’t even tried,” He retorts, nearly snorting. Soap wipes his eyes as I huff—he’s right, I haven’t, but I know I won’t be able to. I look over at the clock on the wall, as if I could will time to go by faster. I let out a quiet noise as I shift myself a bit, a subtle painful ache settling back into my jaw and my abdomen. Oh yeah—I’m injured. It’s not like I forgot but, I’ve been so pumped of drugs this entire time, so I haven’t felt much since waking up the first time in this bed. I try to cross my arms, but my damn hand is still handcuffed!

Oh, god fucking dammit, I wanna get out of this bed!

“Stop actin’ like a wee bairn.” Soap snorts as he glances over at me again, then back down at his sketchbook notebook thing. I should probably ask what it is. “I don’t even know what the fuck that means.” I hiss with as much venom as I can muster, which isn’t much because I’m… cuffed to a bed. God. I hate this.

“Oh, lemme translate for ya.. Stop actin’ like a baby. Better?” He questions, pencil in hand. “Sure.” I mutter. I eye the pencil. “What is that?” I ask, pointing over to his general direction. “What is what?” Soap murmurs before holding up the notebook sketchbook thing. “This? It’s a sketchbook.” Ah, okay. I don’t have to call it that super long name now. Sketchbook, it is. I nod quietly as I glance around the room, trying to find something to focus on. It’s not like they could give me my phone. I wouldn’t be surprised if Makarov took it, destroyed it maybe.

….

Makarov.

I feel my heart suddenly drop into my gut and dig deep to stay there. Makarov.. He’s one hell of a man, that’s for sure. Can I even call him a man? He’s not a human being by my standards, anyway. The things I’ve seen him do, the things I’ve seen him order others to do—me to do.. He’s the worlds single largest threat and he’s in the wind. My fingers grasp at my blanket. He is not loyal to any country, he’s not loyal to any creed—he slaughters for his own gain, he doesn’t flinch at anything. Not human trafficking, genocide, fucking hell, what am I saying?? He’s the one doing the genocide! Just the simple thought of him makes my hair stand up and I hate that. I’m going to have to expose myself to these people, what I did to seem loyal—no, I’m not going to excuse it. Yeah, sure, I did it under the guise of loyalty, but I hurt a lot of fucking people. Any regular civilian would call for my death, but what they don’t understand is that when you’re fighting a war and trying to prevent a bigger one, one that will end in M.A.D? You do what you have to do. You turn your brain off, you pull the trigger.

I don’t know what to think anymore.

Something nudges my leg which snaps me out of my daze—it’s Soap’s boot. He puts his foot back on the ground when he has my attention. His eyebrow is slightly pulled in, the outer edge of his lip is pulled tight for a moment. “Get out of yer head there, mm? Look, let’s play a little game, shall we?”

I groan and I look up at the ceiling. “I feel like I’m being babysat when you say that.” Soap grins. “Ya are. Anyway—give me a, uh.. give me a thing to draw.” I blink at his words and I decide to not point out what he just said. I grumble and shrug. “I don’t know,” I began, glancing around the room at the different medical posters plastered on the walls—one of them on a program offered to help others to quit smoking. Bet that hasn’t helped too many. “A dog.”

Soap shakes his head as I began to say those words. “No, pick somethin’ else.” I raise an eyebrow at how quick he denied my request. “No, I want you to draw a dog.” I challenge, watching the way he twirls the pencil between his fingers. “Choose somethin’ else, I’m not drawin’ a dog.” My heart monitor begins to beep faster and Soap puts his hands up defensively. “Steamin’ Jesus, gettin’ worked up over the drawing? I’ll draw ya a cat instead, calm ya tits.”

I try to cover my snort of amusement because that wasn’t even on purpose. Soap is hunched over his sketchbook and I watch his pencil wisp across the paper, and I notice an indent on Soap’s cheek, almost like he bites the inside of it or sucks on the inside as he focuses. Huh. Makes me wonder if he does that on missions, too. I turn my head again and read the clock—it’s 3:30ish, maybe 3:40 AM. I only glanced at it before looking back at Soap.

I think I’ll actually break these handcuffs and end my life by breaking off pieces of the drywall and consuming it if this is how the next few hours will be spent.

“Y’know, my L.T. told me a joke concernin’ a dog.”

L.T.? Lieutenant, I’m assuming. I don’t say anything, but I look at him. Soap looks up from his sketchbook with a grin on his face again. “Wha’has two legs and bleeds?”

“A dog,” I respond.

“Half a dog.” He corrects me.

I blink at him slowly before trying to subdue the smile appearing on my face. I’m smiling because it’s stupid. “That’s dumb.” Soap inhales through his teeth as his pencil strokes across the paper. “Oooh, don’t let my L.T. hear that, yeah? The man loves his jokes.” My eyes watch his hand holding the pencil as I speak. “So,” I begin. “Your team is.. who exactly, again? You, Price, who else?” Soap hums. “Well, there’s me—I’m a sergeant. There’s Gaz, who’s also a sergeant. You’ve met Price, he’s my cap’n, and then there’s ‘The Ghost’.” He chuckles, glancing at me for a moment. “He’s my L.T.”

“‘The Ghost’?” I question, raising an eyebrow. Sounds like a name a middle schooler puts down for their kahoot game. Soap looks back at his sketchbook. “Well, it’s just Ghost. That’s just what he goes by.”

Edgy, damn…

“Hm. That’s the 141, then?” I bite back saying something about how they waterboarded me, because I know deep down that won’t help anyone. I’m trying to not think about all the damn torture I’ve endured this year because I find it quite annoying when my chest tightens so harshly—to the point where I can’t fucking breathe. Damn panic attacks.

Soap clears his throat and grins, erasing something before swiping the eraser shavings to the side. “All done. Wanna see?” He looks at me expectantly and I motion for him to show me. Soap turns his sketchbook towards me and he’s sketched out a messy, yet well put together drawing of a cat. He drew it in just a few minutes so it isn’t the most detailed, but it’s quite amazing for the time span he drew it in. “Oh, damn,” I say in quiet awe. “I thought you were just going to.. draw a little fella, I dunno.” I wince as my jaw pulses sharp pain through my nerves and my hand instinctively shoot’s up to cup my jaw. Soap’s sharp gaze lingers where my hand is for a moment before he shuts his sketchbook and stuffs it back between the mattress and the hospital bed frame. He grunts as he stands up and leans over me, his finger pressing the red call button on the remote near my pillow. He probably noticed my pain. “Thanks,” I mumble, my hand remaining on my cheek. My eyes flutter shut as the pain begins to intensify, so much so that I don’t notice another presence beside me until they utter my name. I eyes shoot open quickly, my body tense, but I quickly relax when I see it’s a nurse. “The Sergeant here told me you’re feeling some pain. Do you mind rating it on a scale of one to ten?” The nurse murmurs. The nurse is a man with long brown hair that’s tied up neatly into a bun. He has a darker colored beard with red hairs around his mustache and lower lip, dawning square-ish glasses.

“It’s at a four right now,” I respond, glancing at my IV lines before looking at the nurse’s gloves. “It’s climbing, though.”

The nurse hums and writes down my symptoms on a sticky note. “I’m going to go get you a small dose of a narcotic for you, alright? Usually I would give you some tylenol, but you’ve had some extensive medical care.”

I blink. Oh wow. A narcotic?

Soap grins and pokes me with the eraser of his pencil. “Looks like I’ll be babysittin’ ya fer a while more, yeah?”

Fuck.

taglist;; @hardnutpost @glitterypirateduck @elowynnlane @boycigs @wolfyland07 @escapefromrealitysm @tapioca-marzipan @cj-theyoungling @fullmoon-94 @gothgirl6-6-6 @thriving-n-jiving @paniniii @calloumii @the-spartan-himself @bi-witch-bxtch @blob-11 @cumbermovels

if your name is crossed out, it wouldn’t let me tag you, apologies!!

[stargirlfics]

sneak peek!

The Gentleman Chapter 7: This Heart of Mine

Hey lovely people! I am still working on a big chunk of this chapter but wanted to give y’all a little peek at some of it because why not and I have sooo missed writing for this series so it’s been neat to dive back into it 🫶🏾 hope you’ll enjoy this next one, it’s one of my favorite chapters so far!

Alfred lay awake, a soft but worried concentration set on his face as he watched you sleep curled next to him in the haven of your bed.

Flashes of Scarecrow cross his mind, then of losing you in the street and having to leave you alone at The Tower, the anxiety as he searched for Bruce, it all crept in with the quiet of night.

You looked like an angel wrapped in his sweater so he focused on how glad he was you were finally asleep, the exhaustion of the day’s events had caught up now and he only hoped the release he’d given you tonight helped ease the sting of danger and chaos that occurred not even twelve hours ago. 

He knew it was wishful thinking, barely able to sleep himself, heart wrenched when he dozed off some time later and startled awake to find you out of bed, only guided by the soft glow of your bathroom lights that illuminated where you sat crying and curled in on yourself at the edge of the tub. 

Immediately he was at your side, hushing your apologies for the state he’d found you in, hoping the way he gently took your wrists in his hands would bring warmth or relief, anything at all to quell what he could only imagine you were feeling. 

Oh, my darling. 

It hurt to see you distraught.

The panic in your features made him feel sick but he kept the dread from showing as best he could, not wishing for you to see how quickly it was hardening into rage as he cradled your sobbing form against his chest and reassured you that you were okay, because he was here and the night terror still lingering behind your eyes wasn’t real. 

“You’re alright, just keep taking breaths with me, yeah? You’re at home, it’s safe here and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

The last few words slide off his lips in a quiet promise, one made with a clenched jaw and an icy conviction going straight down to his bones just as steady as the snow falling outside, the kind he hadn’t felt since those early days caring for Bruce on his own.  

Alfred didn’t let his mind drift too far into that territory yet knowing he needed to think, to come up with a plan. 

Christ, there was far too much ground to cover with so little information still, a ripple of stress threatened to cloud his mind but he needed to focus on you right now. 

It hadn’t taken very long to realize he needed to make sure you were okay in order to be okay himself, to calm down and think properly. 

Helping you get back in bed and snuggled in his arms again had worked to soothe some tension despite the pit in his stomach as he watched you blink away tears while your fingers curled around his and it isn’t lost on him that you had sought his comfort. 

“I’m almost scared to sleep again, what if I have another bad dream?” Your voice is tired, weary and it sends another pang through his heart.

“If you do I’ll be right here to shoo it away but you do need rest, lovely. How about I tell you a story to help you sleep?” He’s pleased when your eyes perk up at the suggestion, you have told him before that he could tell the best stories. 

Maybe he’d go for an old favorite, the one about finding what he thought to be old treasure on a trip he took to the English coast, a place he wants to show you one day if he could get you both through this madness safely. 

But even as he began to speak and you tucked your face into his shoulder he knew there was no other option for him now, it wasn’t an if but an outright certainty that he would do whatever was necessary to keep you from harm.

There may or may not be lots of emotions in this chapter so 🥹🤭 I’m really excited! This was only about 600 words or so of a sneak peek but I hope that’s okay because there’s a lottt more coming and I hope to be finished with this chapter completely by next month, so thanks for all the love and patience as I work on it. It’s really appreciated and I feel more excitement and anticipation than nerves or fear about delivering on chapters going forward even if I do take my time 💕 Thank you all!

<3 dividers by @/saradika-graphics <3

[lanadelnegan]

My Past, My Future - Part 5 (Final part)

Negan x Reader x Daryl

part four here / part one here

Warnings: 18+, smut, angst

Note: I'm sorry this took so long for me to post. Been kinda out of it lately, but probably gonna start posting regularly again.

Red = Negan / Blue = Daryl / Pink - Reader

"Negan..." Your jaw lowers slightly in disbelief as you look up into his tired eyes. Before your brain has time to stop you, you lunge forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and inhaling the familiar smell of him. "God I am so glad you're okay." A tear falls from your cheek as he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck and holds you tight.

Pulling back slightly after a moment too long, you clear your throat awkwardly and drop your hands to your sides. You quickly wipe the tear slipping down your cheek as Negan tilts his head at you empathetically. "Baby.."

"No..." You shake your head, remembering how Negan left you - alone and worried to death. "Negan, I - I don't understand. Why? Why did you leave?" You ramble, letting the hurt and anger wash over you all over again. "I looked for you for three weeks straight. I didn't eat.. didn't sleep.. just cried until I couldn't anymore."

"I saw you two.. kissing.. I thought -"

"You thought wrong, Negan. I wanted it to be you. I told Daryl that after the kiss. I came back to Alexandria that night to tell you, and you - you were gone. How could you do that to me? Just leave and not even look back like I never meant anything to you?"

"C'mon, You know that's not true... Was I supposed to just stay there and fuckin' watch you be with him?!"

Before you can respond, the front door swings open behind you and Daryl quickly appears at your side, wrapping his arm protectively around your waist.

Negan scoffs, glancing down at Daryl's hand gripping you possessively. "Seriously? You two are a thing now, huh? And you expect me to believe you were gonna fuckin' choose me?"

"Believe what you want. It's the truth. Not that it matters anymore. You left. You made your decision."

"Yeah." Negan nods. "I guess you did too."

"You dunno what the hell you're talkin' about. Got no right to talk to her like that when you just up and left." Daryl's jaw clenches as he glares at Negan.

"Seems like it worked out for you. I dunno why you're fuckin' complainin'."

"Cuz I'm not selfish. I wanted her to by happy."

"And I'm selfish? For leaving behind the love of my fucking life just so I wouldn't get in the way of her and another man!? If anyone's selfish it's you! Throwing a fit because the girl you were too scared to admit your feelings to wanted me and not you."

You grab Daryl's wrist, pulling him back as he lunges forward at Negan. "Enough! This is too much. I can't - I can't deal with this right now." You cry as both men reach out to comfort you.

Negan lets out a long sigh. "Look, it's getting dark. And I know you're tired. Let's call it a night and sort this out tomorrow."

Daryl hesitantly nods, accepting Negan's offer when you look to him for an answer and you both follow Negan into the house. It's old and wooden and Negan's smell fills the air. Your heart aches at the thought of Negan here by himself all this time... he is here by himself right?

"Do you.. live here alone?" You ask, looking around for any signs of other company.

"Nah. Girlfriend should be back any minute."

You roll your eyes at the teasing tone of his voice, trying to hide your smile when he winks at you.

"Hungry?" He points behind himself to the kitchen.

"No.. thanks. Just tired."

"You two can take the bedroom.. I'll sleep out here on the couch. Just let me clean up and change first." Negan says before heading to his bedroom. "Make yourselves at home." He calls out before shutting his door.

Six months ago you were confessing your love for each other and having sex on your couch. Now he's offering up his bed to you and another man? Daryl rests his hand on your lower back and you turn around to hug him, laying your head on his chest.

"Daryl.. I want you to know you have nothing to worry about. We'll leave in the morning."

"Not worried." He reassures you by planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. He knows he is, but the last thing he wants is to put more stress and pressure on you right now.

Negan enters the room again, announcing his presence with an awkward clearing of his throat. "Room's ready. Changed the sheets."

Daryl leads the way, bumping past Negan rudely as he disappears into the master bathroom. You walk past Negan, brushing your hand against his before he gently wraps his hand around your wrist and looks down at you. "The idea of you in my bed with another man fucking infuriates me. Everything I do.. everything I did.. was for your happiness. Not mine... Just so you know." His hazel eyes fall to your lips for a moment before he slowly looks back up into your eyes. You restrain yourself from kissing him, remembering the way his soft lips felt against yours as his stubble pricked at your face. You can't deny you miss kissing him. Having long deep conversations with him.. Fucking him. All your memories together flow through your mind as you stare up at him.

"Are you happy with him, y/n?" Negan's eyes dart back and forth between yours.

"...Yes."

"Good..." He nods before walking away and you watch him sink to the couch as you enter his bedroom. You find Daryl already laying in bed and immediately climb in the bed behind him to comfort him. You know this must be difficult for him. You nuzzle your face into the back of his neck. "Baby.. I told you not to worry."

He doesn't say anything as you run your fingers comfortingly through his thick strands of hair. "I love you, Daryl."

"You love him too." He says matter-of-factly.

You don't respond, knowing you'd be lying if you tried to argue with him. So instead, you wrap your arm around him and settle into the sheets. The pillowcase smells like Negan as you shut your eyes and drift off quickly, dreaming of a world where you don't have to choose between the two men you'd die for.

As soon as Daryl hears your light snore, he slips out of bed, quietly finding his way into the living room where Negan is wide awake on the couch staring at the ceiling.

"We need to talk."

Negan's chest rises and falls as he lets out a long sigh. "Nothin' to say."

"Oh.. now you wanna stay quiet?"

"Now you wanna fuckin' talk?"

Daryl ignores Negan's comeback, sitting in a chair across from the couch. A long moment passes before Daryl finally speaks again.

"I know you love y/n. I know you've changed. But I'll never forget what you've done. When we came back to Alexandria and realized you were gone... I hoped you'd never come back."

Negan huffs, leaning back further into the couch before Daryl continues.

"Until I saw how much it broke her. She wouldn't eat. Wouldn't sleep. Unless I made her. Was so worried about her I couldn't let her outta my sight. You did that to her."

Negan gulps down, fighting back tears as he hears how much he hurt you.

"And for some stupid reason.. she still loves you."

Negan scoffs, shaking his head slightly before gazing back up at the ceiling. "...When Lucille passed, I knew I wouldn't be able to love anyone the way I loved her. Lucille was.. my everything. Hell, named a fuckin' baseball bat after her just so I wouldn't have to say goodbye... You know where that bat is now?"

Daryl grunts, waiting for Negan's answer. Negan's head nods towards the fireplace, as they watch the wood crack underneath the flames for awhile.

"I said goodbye to Lucille that day because I finally found someone I could be happy with again... When I made the decision to leave, that was for y/n. Not for me. I knew you'd be there to take my place, and I thought that's what she fuckin' wanted. But me? I didn't eat either. Didn't sleep. Worried about her every day. Still fuckin' do."

Daryl's head drops forward as his elbows rest on his knees, carefully taking in Negan's words.

"She misses you."

"Why are you tellin' me this?"

"Cause I want the same thing as you. Just want her to be happy."

"So what? You're.. giving her back to me?" Negan's head shakes sarcastically, mocking the idea.

"In your dreams.... What I'm sayin' is, we love her and she loves us. Why make her choose?"

Negan's nose scrunches as he looks to Daryl, sitting up now and leaning forward. "Wait, wait, wait. You're not serious. Are you seriously suggesting a... throuple?"

"Nah. I ain't gay." Daryl grunts. "It's not about me and you. Just her."

"Too bad. Thought you were finally comin' around." Negan raises his brows suggestively, making Daryl stand and roll his eyes annoyed. He stops at the bedroom door, looking back to Negan expectantly. "You comin'?"

They both quietly enter the bedroom and slide in bed on either side of you. Still asleep, you snuggle against the warm body in front of you, roaming your hand along his stomach before stopping suddenly, realizing it's not Daryl. Your eyes jolt open to meet Negan's gaze in the dim lit room as he smirks down at you.

"Wha-"

"It's okay, babe." Daryl whispers in your ear from behind.

"You still love me, baby?" Negan asks, tilting your chin up and hovering his lips over yours.

You answer him by pressing your lips to his, closing the small gap. You can't help the involuntary moan that escapes your mouth as you taste him again for the first time in so long.

Negan's hand cups the back of your neck, bringing you closer as he deepens the kiss and flicks his tongue against yours. His mouth opens slightly as a throaty groan escapes and you almost whimper at how turned on you are. Finally turning your attention to Daryl behind you, your arm reaches behind you to grip his hair and pull him in for a kiss. He kisses you back hungrily as his rough hand glides down the side of your body, tracing your curves before reaching your ass and firmly squeezing.

After a moment, you pull away from his mouth to adjust yourself, leaning up for a moment to remove your shirt and bra before laying flat on your back between the two of them.

You stare vacantly at the ceiling, blinking a few times as you attempt to wake yourself from the obvious dream you must be having. But to no avail, your men remain pressed against your body as they nip at your skin and tease you with their fingers.

Shifting lower in the bed, they both take a hardened nipple into their mouth, making your head push into the pillow below you as you bite your lip to suppress your moan.

Negan flicks his tongue lightly over the sensitive bud, while Daryl's lips suction around the other, sucking over and over. You can't hide your noises anymore as you let them hear what they are doing to you. "Ohh my god. Fuck... that feels good."

Negan grins, letting his teeth gently squeeze your nipple before lowering his hand. He easily pops open the button on your jeans before roughly pushing them down your legs. Daryl raises to his knees, helping you get your pants and underwear off your ankles until you're completely bare in front of them.

You've been with them both one on one on multiple occasions, but this feels.. much more intense with both of them at the same time.

As Daryl bends down, getting ready to position himself to eat your pussy, Negan stops him. "Look man, not tryna be selfish here. But I've been deprived of that pussy for way too long. So please, allow me." He pleads.

Daryl glares at Negan for a moment before finally moving out of his way and letting him devour your cunt. Negan's face is buried between your legs the second Daryl gives him the go ahead and your jaw lowers as you make an o-shape with your lips at how good his mouth feels. His stubble tickles your inner thighs while his tongue repeatedly flicks deep inside of you.

"Fuck!" He comes up for air, before pressing his nose to your hole and inhaling the smell of you. "Goddamn I missed this sweet pussy."

"Move." Daryl demands, taking Negan's place and tossing your legs over his shoulders. His fingers spread your pussy lips apart, allowing him better access to your clit and sucking it harshly, urging you to orgasm.

Your gaze is focused on Negan as he stands by the bed, quickly discarding his clothes.

"Daryl!" You moan his name as your orgasm rushes through you, letting your eyes stay locked on Negan's, hoping to bring out his possessive side. A smirk appears on Negan's face as he chuckles darkly, knowing you're trying to make him jealous.

Just as Daryl comes up for air, wiping your juices from his chin, the bed dips as Negan crawls over you, taking your lips in his.

"You tryin' to tease me, baby? Cause it's fuckin' working."

He kisses you rhythmically before pulling on your lower lip with teeth and grinning at you. While you're busy locking tongues with Negan, Daryl positions himself on his back beside you. "Come mere baby. Need you."

You roll over on top of Daryl, letting your knees rest on either side of him as you hover your wet opening over his hard length and slide down slowly and completely, filling your cunt to the brim as your head falls back in pleasure.

Negan settles in behind you, bumping his hard cock against your ass. His hand wraps around your long strands of hair as he pulls, bringing your head back further and exposing the front of your neck.

Chills run down your spine when Negan whispers throatily in your ear. "Think you can take us both sweetheart?"

You answer him with a frantic nod and he chuckles, biting at the sensitive spot behind your ear and making chills spread over your arms.

"Fuck. Bend over him. Now." Negan grunts, pushing your back until you're laying over Daryl with his cock still inside you.

Negan's hand spreads one of your ass cheeks as he leans back slightly, watching you slide up and down on Daryl's cock. "Goddamn. You are creaming all over his fuckin' dick, darlin'." Negan's thumb reaches out, gathering a line of your juices from Daryl's shaft and bringing it to his mouth. He groans at the taste, eyes rolling in the back of his head as he sucks his own thumb. "Fuck." He whispers, dropping his thumb to your tight asshole now and circling it slowly. "Where do you want me baby?" He asks, pushing this thumb through your tightness. You cry out at the unfamiliar feeling.

"In.. in my pussy." You whine.

"Yeah? Such a big girl, so confident that you can take two big cocks in your little cunt at the same time." Negan chuckles darkly, pulling his finger out of your ass and rubbing his tip through your folds from behind as Daryl's breathes loud and heavy while you ride him.

Negan's hand grips your waist tightly, holding you in place as he guides his cock to your already filled hole. He slides his tip along Daryl's length before ultimately pushing through and burying himself deep inside you. Daryl grunts, adjusting slightly at the feeling of Negan's dick against his own.

You cry out as your walls are stretched further than they've ever been, and the thought of your men rubbing their cocks together inside of you makes your stomach flutter.

"Oh my goddd." You cry, overwhelmed at the intensity of being so full. Not only are your walls stretched to their limit, but both of them are painfully deep. Pressure and heat build in your abdomen as you feel yourself embarrassingly close to coming already.

“Holy shit, feels so fuckin’ good.” Negan whimpers, dropping his head back heavily as he thrusts into you.

Daryl’s jaw clenches as he stares up at you through glazed over eyes. “Is it too much babe? Tell us to stop if you need-“

“No. Please. Please don’t stop.” You beg, crashing your lips against Daryl’s as you moan into his mouth. Negan brings his hand down roughly, smacking your ass cheek and making you yelp into Daryl’s mouth.

Negan grunts, grabbing the back of your hair possessively and pulling your back against his chest. Your head turns as he kisses your lips sloppily from the side, bringing his hand around to wrap firmly around your throat as his throaty whisper flows in your ear. “I might be willing to share, but kissing another man when I’m balls deep in this cunt? Not gonna fuckin’ happen, doll.”

From this angle, one of their tips press repeatedly into just the right spot, making your cheeks burn hot. And Negan’s filthy words are just what you need to send you over the edge.

"Daryl! ... Negan! Fuuuck." You scream out, feeling warm liquid rush out of you. Both men groan at the feeling of you soaking their cocks as Negan's moans become faster and louder and Daryl grows quieter - an indicator that he's close.

"Come in me..Please.” You breathe out.

"Who?" Both men say in unison.

"..Both."

"Can't hold it anymore. I'm comin' baby. I'm fuckin' coming. Ahhh, fuuuuck." He lets out a long groan, spilling deep inside of you.

Daryl groans at the intense feeling of yours and Negan’s warm liquids surrounding his cock. He bites his bottom lip as he shoots his load in you, following each pulse of his dick with a mix of raspy whimpers and moans.

Negan slides out of you as you lift yourself off Daryl, falling to the bed next to him. When Negan joins you on the other side, you lace your fingers in both of their hands as you lay there out of breath.

"What the hell just happened?" You chuckle, not able to hide the ridiculous smile on your face.

"We don't wanna make you choose. Just want you to be happy. If you want us both, you've got us."

"But.. that's.."

Negan leans in, kissing your cheek before settling into the sheets and closing his eyes. "There's no rules in the apocalypse, baby. Shoulda learned that a long time ago."

tagging my babies: @loganlostitall @chaospossum @negansbabydoll66 @redqueenphoenix @n3g5nx @crustyweirdo @youngpersonaathletebear @sadgirlzluvdilfs @ilovebill-and-gustav @neganscumbucket @manipulatorpoem @im-a-goddamn-cat @raininhell @mahogany-cherry-wine @daryldixmedown@munsonslovergirl @sanctuaryforthelost @thelauraborealis @carlgrimesbbg @c3linesworld @blueheisenbergtragedy @dekuumademecumm @midnight-dixon @arthi-s

[hearts-hunger]

with your head on my shoulder || danny wagner x reader

Read on AO3 | Masterlist

Summary: You have a bad dream, and Danny's there to take care of you. | Standalone fic in the Four Weddings universe

Pairings: Danny Wagner x Reader | Genres: fluff, hurt/comfort, slight angst | Word Count: 1.7k | Warnings: none! | Title song: “Strawberry Wine” by Noah Kahan

A/N: Of course Danny and Sunny are what gets me out of this writing dry spell! This is just pure fluff with no plot to speak of, but I hope you like it ♡

You woke with a start, heart pounding, your breath catching in your chest. You sat up in bed and tried to find anything familiar in the darkness of your room, needing to ground yourself on something other than the horrible images racing through your mind.

You made yourself take a deep breath. It was only a nightmare. You were safe in your own bed; despite the storm that sent heavy rain against your window, everything was quiet and peaceful. You were home, and you knew Danny was close by. You were safe.

Those realizations, as comforting as they were, didn’t erase the fear of the nightmare. Your heart was still racing, adrenaline making you ill; you wished you weren’t alone in your bedroom. But Danny was sleeping on the couch, driven out of your bedroom by a fight you’d started.

You felt awful now for what you’d said. It had been so stupid, so needlessly unkind; you’d been tired and frayed from a long, frustrating day at work, and you’d taken it out on him. Instead of being sweet to him when he came home, you’d started in on him for how late he was, and it had quickly escalated from there.

You’d stormed off to bed, and he hadn’t joined you. Now, when you wanted to go to him for comfort, you didn’t know if he’d even want to talk to you.

You walked quietly out to the living room and saw Danny asleep on the couch, as comfortable as he could get with his lanky limbs either scrunched close or hanging off the edge. You felt a pang of guilt as you looked at him; you should have been the one to sleep on the couch, since you’d started the fight in the first place. You bit your lip and debated just going back to your bedroom, wondering if he’d be even more upset with you if you woke him.

Lightning flashed outside, and all thought of going back to your bedroom alone went right out the window. You fairly flew to Danny’s side, unsettled and frightened and needing comfort.

“Danny,” you said softly, standing by the couch and nervously twisting the fabric of his t-shirt you were wearing.

He turned his head towards you. “Wassa matter?” he mumbled. 

“Danny,” you said again, a little desperately.

His eyes fluttered open, and worry and surprise colored his sleepy expression when he saw you.

“Sunny?” he said, his voice gravelly with sleep. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m — ” All of a sudden, seeing him look up at you with such care and concern, you felt terrible for waking him over something so silly. You wrestled with regret and wanted to be close to him so badly you ached with it.

“I — I’m fine,” you managed. “It’s stupid. I’m sorry, Danny. I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

You turned to go, but he took your wrist in a gentle grip to make you stay.

“Hey, hold on,” he said. He tugged you towards him, and you knelt beside the couch. 

“You’re not bothering me,” he said gently. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

You felt a rush of tears, and you rested your head against his chest to hide them.

“Bad dream,” you said in a small voice. “And the storm.”

“Oh, honey.” He stroked a hand over your hair. “I’m sorry. Come here.”

He moved over to make room for you on the couch, and when you raised your head to look at him, your vision was blurred with tears.

“Are you sure?” you asked.

He looked a little stricken. “What do you mean, am I sure?” He brushed a few tears from your cheek, and you leaned into his touch.

“Because of our fight,” you said, and your voice was watery and tight. “I… I understand if you’re still mad at me, Danny.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked over your face with all the tenderness in the world as he brushed your hair back from your face.

“Come here,” he said again, and you did as he said. You cuddled as close to him as you could get, burying your face in the crook of his neck as he wrapped an arm snugly around you. 

“My sweet sunshine,” he said gently, and it was comforting to hear the soft rumble of his voice in his chest.

“I’m not angry any more,” he said. “And even if I had been, you can always, always come to me when you’re scared or need my help. No matter what. Okay?”

You nodded, feeling more tears come. “Okay.” You pressed closer to him. “I love you.”

He ran a soothing hand over your back. “I love you too, sweetheart.” He pulled the blanket up over you and tucked you in next to him. “Try and get some rest, sunny. I’m right here.”

You didn’t say that you didn’t think you could get back to sleep; you knew he was tired, and you were content to snuggle close to him and rest in the love he gave you so generously. You played with his hair, twirling his soft curls around your fingers, and felt yourself relax by degrees.

You were almost dozing when a roll of thunder broke the quiet, and you jumped and pressed closer to Danny.

“Hey, hey,” he soothed, startled out of sleep by your sudden movement. “It’s okay, sunny. ‘S just thunder.”

“Sorry,” you said pitifully.

“That’s okay, baby,” he said softly. He kissed your forehead. “Did you sleep at all?”

You shook your head. He propped himself up on his arm, looking down at you; his curls were a little frizzy around his head like a halo, and his eyes were tired.

“Hi,” you said.

He gave you a crooked smile. “Hi, sunny.” He brushed his thumb over your cheek. “I’m sorry you can’t sleep.”

“I’m sorry I’m keeping you up,” you said.

He shook his head. “I don’t mind.” He carefully untangled himself from you and the blankets as he got up from the couch.

“Where are you going?” you asked, hesitant.

“Bathroom,” he said. “And then I thought I’d make you some tea.” He stretched and gave a little groan. “We ought to get a more comfortable couch.”

“Maybe I just shouldn’t start fights with you before bed,” you said in a meek voice.

He chuckled and leaned to give you a quick kiss. “Maybe.”

You huddled into the blankets and pillows still warm with Danny’s body heat, listening to the loud patter of rain on the roof and the occasional peal of thunder. They didn’t bother you so much now that Danny was up; even though you were grateful for the way he’d taken care of you already, it made you feel better to not be the only one awake.

“You want to watch a movie?” he asked. You heard the soft clink of mugs being taken down from the cabinet, and you sat up to watch him over the back of the couch. He’d found one of his comfy sweaters and tied his hair back in a messy bun, and you liked how the kitchen looked even more homey with him in it.

He looked over his shoulder. “Sunny?”

“Hm? Oh, sorry.” You propped your chin in your hand. “Sure. What do you want to watch?”

He poured two mugs of tea and stirred a little bit of honey into each of them. “We could watch Planet Earth,” he said. “That’s a good one to fall asleep to.”

You smiled. “Yeah, but which one? We can never agree on which episode is the best.”

He gave a soft laugh. “Let’s put on your favorite one, sunny. The forest episode, right?”

You hummed in agreement, and you followed him with your gaze as he carefully brought your tea over. He set the mugs on the coffee table and got comfortable beside you, searching through Netflix for the episode you wanted.

“Hey, Danny?”

“Hm?”

When you didn’t say anything, he looked over at you. “What is it, sunny?”

You reached a hesitant, apologetic hand out to him; you touched your fingers to the worn shoulder seam of his sweater.

“I’m sorry I fought with you when you got home,” you said in a quiet voice. “I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on you.” You met his eyes. “I’m sorry, Danny.”

He leaned close and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Thank you. I’m sorry too, for arguing when I could have tried to help. Forgive me?”

You rested your head against his shoulder. “Of course.”

The two of you drank your tea — Sleepytime Honey, Danny’s favorite for late nights — and listened to David Attenborough narrate the wonders of forested tundras. 

“Sunny,” Danny ventured after a while. “Do you want to try and sleep in the bedroom?”

You didn’t answer right away, knowing you wouldn’t give the answer he wanted to hear and feeling guilty for it. He read your hesitation and gave you a tired smile.

“You’d rather stay out here, wouldn’t you?” he asked.

“You don’t have to stay,” you said. You didn’t want to go back into your bedroom tonight, worried it would remind you of your nightmare, but you knew he wanted to. “Why don’t you go lay down, honey?”

“I don’t want you to be alone,” he said. He tucked the blankets more closely around you. “So if you want to stay, I do too.”

You gave him a wobbly smile. “Thanks.”

He gave you a gentle kiss. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

You watched the episode in companionable silence for a while as the storm continued outside. Danny started to doze with his tea in hand, and you gently took his mug from him and set it next to yours on the coffee table.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, half-asleep. “You okay?”

“Yes,” you said softly, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek. You snuggled against him and leaned your head on his shoulder, tucking your hands under his arm.

“Wake me up if you need anything,” Danny said after a moment, his voice heavy with sleep. “You promise?”

Your throat felt a little tight. You were so thankful for the way he cared for you; tomorrow, he’d have gotten a night of broken sleep and be sore from sleeping on the couch, but he loved you enough to stay with you when you needed him, even when it was less than comfortable.

You cuddled close and let yourself rest against him. “Yeah, I promise.”

danny taglist:@tearsofbri@busybeingtrash@myway-late@gotavansleep@gretavanbri@stardustchxrds@pxppylove @mariegvf @bajabule69 @radmads-gvf

gvf taglist:@malany-gvf@spark-my-nature@eearevee@madneedshelp@demonrat444@josh-iamyour-mama @honeyandsweettae @mydarlingdanny@gretavandann@sacredjake@myleftsock@joshskittytickler21@hellowgoodbye@watchingovergvf2@fearfulspirit@mywaysoon@carbondancingthroughtime@caprisunsister @eraofstardustchords @sacredthefran@shesawomaninadream @serendipiti @demonrat444@wildflowerxx-x

@gvfrry@ohhey1293@the-chaotic-cow@mountain-in-springtime@xserenax-13@stardustjtk @brooke-gvf@weightofdreams-gvf@jakeydoesit@gretasmokerising@hayley1623@doodle417@finestoflines@brokenbellz@bowievanfleet@s0livagant@strugglingtodoshit@s-u-t@kay-jordan@gretavanfleas@jakeyboiiiiiii@gretavansteph@gretavanbitches@myownparadise96@luverleaver@weightofdreamz@greatervanfleet@maedesculpaeusoubi@jakekiszkasbestie@pineapple-photographer@baguettejuliette@alexxavicry@levi-wants-ur-bones@carlybubs@cowboysamkiszka@dannyandthekiszkas@jordierama@slutforsteve@starshine-wagner@quartzzzzzzz@edgeofdreams@writingcold @lostoverseer @catharu77 @mackalah @jaketlove @haileygvf @blacksoul-27 @ur-m0ms-blog

sorry if tumblr didn’t tag you — it’s stupid sometimes. but i’m real thankful for you, sweet peaches! and if you’re a new bestie and would like to be added to my taglist, check out the form right here!

[ramayantika]

Idk where is that romanticised college life people put on reels where hostel ki bakchodi sab sath mein ho rahi ho and tumhare ekdum ache dost ho rahe ho

Maybe my periods is coming in a week or so but I will still rant because I don't want it to affect my work time

This state of loneliness feels like a warm blanket now. It used to be cold. icy cold. But now it is warm, soft and comfortable, just the source of comfort one needs for cold and dark lonely night. But even then this blanket does remind me of cozy slumber yet only of a dark room, silver light and a blanket covering me.

I can call home. I can go dance. I can write five pages and draw spirals until my wrists hurt, but even then this loneliness will never go away. Mother says you will find your circle in the future. You have to wait for a few years. Everything I am working for is in the future.

What about me now? I am only nineteen. How long will I go around pretending to dress up and dining out with pathetic excuses of friends who barely know me? When they will never ever choose me?

If everything good is set in my future, then why can't some of it happen in my present? How long until I can dance in a group, laugh openly, heartily and not a practised laugh which stiffens my lips and cheeks.

I dance. I have learnt the art of acting and becoming someone else. I do that every time everywhere. Sometimes I am tired of treating myself as a performance. I remember how much my eyebrows ache when I practice facial movements a little too much. And then why would not this constant pretending drama hurt me when I keep doing this every second every day?

I will sleep over this and wake up late in the evening. I will sit myself to study, practice dance again after internals, write my stories in hopes that maybe somewhere in the future I will find readers. But that's it. Everything nice in the future.