#and now i wanna use somethign alike for a oc of my one

[shivncho]

me last year; what if Shinsou had a cat paw on his boot *based on a fanart* me now; ... what if its boots had somewhat of a paw shape...

[buck-askbox]

You're here to do whatever you want, and have fun. We're here to maybe watch you do that, if we're cool with what you do, or maybe to watch someone else do their thing if that's preferable. I don't know where the "You're here to do what we say and draw stuff how we like it" posse come from. I wish you didn't have to put up with so MANY of them. Thank you for sticking around and having fun with the rest of us despite that.

I am not gonna give  in to one or two people crying loudly that they want something back or dont like the current thing because of some details. Fuck that, like, bitch what kind of support you think you give? complaints are not advice, honestly i’ve had it, plus i bet is the same person over and over again.

I wish i could keep my mouth shut about these issues but people just fail to understand how  are my copying mechanisms for when shit doesnt go right. I always do it, i always just, erase and re-start when i feel ashamed and frustrated, because  the connection i had with that person is lost now and i don’t have a bitter taste in my mouth. 

you wanna know why all this shit happened? i will explain. 

BECAUSE YOU WANT THE DRAMA? I’LL EXPLAIN MY SIDE OF THE DRAMA IN THE WHOLE RANIA ISSUE REDESIGN WHATEVER THE FUCK.  

and like for anyone who says  “ur just mad cause he didnt agree with you”  well no,  i’m mad that he didn’t stop me when i asked “is this  ok? should i go on? is this a ship? ” no man, like, all this drama could’ve been avoided but it’s always easier to let me get my hopes ups with vague answers over these stupid FICTIONAL CHARACTERS RELATIONSHIPS and just tell me “sure go ahead, i love it” and  i am even more mad that this person didnt even speak to me or had any intentions to keep being my friend (even though i sent them several times that i valued them and our real friendship more than  just some sex drawings)  when i stopped drawing his greasy self  insert with my oc  and the only time he spoke to me was when he saw another potential good looking oc (auto) that he could get his hands on.

OH AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? i was just lured with sweet words “you’re my favorite artist! i love drawing with you! please  draw with me! you inspire me to work! you’re a great friend!” to then just be forgotten because “I can’t believe you’ve done this, kill this character I  LIKE SO MUCH JUST BECAUSE I DONT  WANT HER TO BE WITH MY SELF INSERT BECAUSE  I AM NOT READY TO COMMIT TO IT (like lmao boi i wasnt asking to marry you irl hahaha wtf) AND BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOO ALIKE SOME OTHER THING  I HAVE WITH OTHER OC’S LMAO (u could’ve stopped me when u had time boii)”  

THAT IS ALL.  I felt like  i put so much time for nothing, there was no development, no nothing, not even a real friendship. Nowadays  i have this person blocked because  i have no real intentions of hearing what he has to say to me, i don’t want him to see my stuff i don’t want him virtually reaching to me. and because of this, i erased and re-made rania, to forget. now please, respect me and stop complaining? please? 

“aren’t you being a bit too  dramatic?” maybe, but it’s just not nice to have this story repeat over and over. i was just, not useful anymore. It always happens, I ask for a bit more form the other part and  i am a pushy-selfish-dramatic-overracting little bitch and yes maybe i am a bitch a huge fat bitch but i am not gonna just sit down and see time go by while feeling like somethign is off or bohering me.  

like, this was all because of some fictional character for fucks sake, just, how? god damn it man. Not worth it, i just wanted a true friend that lived  in my city, not this, never this.  

Because of this, i am now afraid of making new friends.