#and now i disappear for the next few weeks 👍

[itsdefinitely]

fun times

[morose-melodies]

unavoidable fate | yandere! pre fatui! kabukimono/scaramouche x reader

summary: who is this strange man who roams around your village? and why is he so attached to you?

content warning: separation anxiety.

this is from scaramouche's story, "tiny doll." - he had done such things with great patiences in times past, after all, leaning things such as holding cutlery, wearing clothes, combing his hair... yes, he had learned to be a "human" from the little things up. 👍👍

"kabukimono,"

that was his name. the name of the man who appeared in your village a week ago. he roamed around and occasionally disappeared just to appear again later that day.

he seemed dejected. his eyes were always so distant, so sad. so one day, you stopped him and gave him a warm drink and a blanket, telling him to go home and be safe.

but he had no home. you tried to understand what he meant... "you have no home? then where did you come from?" your confusion was apparent as he took a small, hesitant sip from the cup you gave him.

"I don't know. I don't know anything," he replied before parting ways with you for the night. after that night, he seemed to hang around your house, like a stray cat that continued to come back to the person that helped it.

"don't look at me like that, it's weird," you look at kabukimono as he stood at the doorway ... he was watching you again.

one day, after your first interaction with kabukimono, he appeared at your front door one night, "please allow me to stay with you."

it was dark in your home. all the lights were out, you had blindly navigated through the house to get to the front door upon hearing your doorknob jiggle so late at night.

it was so late and you were so tired. you nodded, stepping aside to allow him in. kabukimono stepped in and stood there as you closed and locked your door.

you led him a few steps forward and guided him to sit on the couch. he was pliant, moving where you wanted him to and doing as you pleased. "'kay, sit there. I'll get you a blanket," you assured him before leaving him alone.

you reached out and grabbed his hand, ready to guide him to the couch where he would sleep for the night. the puppet flinched, his fingers tensing as if he were ready to pull away from you but didn't. "come on," you said, your voice hushed, and kabukimono wondered why you were talking so quietly.

alone in the dark, kabukimono sat there quietly, his hands on his lap. he liked you, or, at least felt an odd sense of loyalty to you. you helped him, so, of course, when he was cold and needed somewhere to go this night, he thought of you.

when you came back, you laid him down and put a blanket on top of him, tucking him in, and said, "come to me if you need something, okay?" and he went to sleep and so did you.

so, that next morning, before the sun had even fully came up, kabukimono was in your bedroom, standing at the doorway, watching you.

"uhm... good morning?" you sat up and looked at him, to which he replied, "... good morning."

that morning, as you bathed, did your hair, and got dressed, he was near, following after you and watching you.

it wasn't that you didn't mind him watching you but he just seemed so harmless -- the way he watched you was sort of curious.

"put this coat on, we'll go out to get some water," you offered, holding out one of your old coats to him and he took it from you.

as you put your coat on, you noticed that he hadn't put his own coat on but instead seemed confused, holding the coat. "uh, here," you took the coat from him and slid it onto him, "there. now, c'mon."

and together, the two of you went out to the well near the middle of the village and got two buckets of fresh water. hoping to make some use out of him, you gave him one of the buckets to carry and he did.

afterwards, the two of you went back to your house. settling down, you made him breakfast to keep him occupied while you went out to gather supplies and materials that you needed.

... but.

he was confused when you set a pair of chopsticks onto his plate, "I'm not... understanding," he confessed.

"um, it's a chopstick, y'know?" you moved to stand behind him, taking the chopsticks and sat it in his hand, helping him hold it properly.

instead of going out for supplies, you stood behind him, helping him get accustomed to the use of chopsticks. instead of a nice ten minutes breakfast, you spent thirty minutes teaching kabukimono how to hold and eat with chopsticks.

you didn't have any problems with kabukimono.

he was quiet and complaint, he hadn't given you any grief, well, not until you tried to leave for the day...

"where are you going?" he perked up almost immediately at the sight of you approaching the front door, "are you leaving? why? uh, where are you going?" standing from where he sat, he approached you, standing at your side.

he looked prepared to plead, to cling onto you and beg you to stay with him.

"I need supply, y'know... stuff to make food with," you explained to him but kabukimono seemed to worry more.

he didn't want you to leave. what if you didn't come back? he should go with you, shouldn't he? "can I come? please let me come with you, I can be helpful," he offered, standing so close to you that his arm was pressed against yours.

"no, no. you can stay, it's fine. I'll be back in an hour, you don't need to worry so much," you tried to ease his worries, patting his shoulder before turning to open the front door.

but all kabukimono heard was an hour. you'd be gone for an hour?? that was far too long! "wait, wait! I can help you, let me- please let me go with you!" He pleaded, running out the front door, after you, clinging to your arm.

"go back in! you're not wearing your coat, go. you'll get sick," you tried to shake him off but upon realizing that he wasn't going to let go, upon realizing that he was in a genuine state of panic over this, you stepped back into your house.

"calm down... look, i... I um, I won't go. I'll stay," you promised him, sitting him onto the couch before sitting beside him, "I won't go, I promise."

he had been breathing so fast, so hard. he'd never felt that way before, he'd never felt so terrified of losing something before.

that was sorta when it clicked for him that he didn't want to lose you and couldn't stand to be away from you.

[hongchenzhu]

This is part 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 3.5

Also pls read the chapters in order, cause there is a lot of information in chapter leading up to this one

Also same as other chapter, if you don't like the outfit I describe then change it I don't mind, same with height the only thing that can't be changed is the eye's and hair cause they are plot related.

Also swearing

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(Timeline might not match with the Manga)

“My logic is very simple if you are not dead by the end of this training session. Then I will make you work to death.”

WTF, who are you

Yup, that's me. You're properly wondering how I ended up in this situation? Well…

24 hours prior

“Congratulations on passing the 3rd selection. But bad news, your soccer careers are in danger of disappearing forever like worthless trash, along with Blue Lock.”

Murmurs of disbelief started among the boys

“But good work, playing against the world all-stars was quite the experience, right?” Ego display on the screen

“A lot happened since the third selection, I plan to narrow you down to five players, but… the plan has changed. The main problem is the bigshots of Japanese soccer are trying to put kibosh on Blue Lock, so I decide to send them a challenge.”

A holographic appeared on the screen.

“This means the next selection, which is done in three weeks will define the outcome of Blue Lock’s future.” Ego pushed his glasses towards his face, the light reflecting off the glass giving him a sinister look. “If you win this game, you can steal the honour of representing Japan at the U-20 World Cup.”

A series of murmurs started again “What” “No way” “For real”

“Therefore the time has come, my lumps of talents. To bring a new era.”

Small time skip - after the groups have been chosen (Cause I’m lazy 👍)

“For the first few days, you’ll have matches between each other after that you will start training, for the next two weeks.” Ego’s on the screen again telling group A what the plan is for the next three weeks “Of course, there will still be matching between to see how much you have improved.”

Isagi raised his hand.”Ego-san” “Yes, Yoichi?” “Who are we training with?”

Ego’s sadistic smile appeared on his face again “you’ll know who your trainer is when the time comes.” Shivvers were shot down the spine of people in the room, including Rin and Shindou. Just then a female appeared behind Ego “Ego, there is no need to be that harsh on them.” An elegant woman wearing a large hat came into view, with the hat obscuring her face but her straight posture exposed who she is to Isagi. ‘!!! Y/n is going to our trainer??? . . . We’re fucked,’

Another magic time skip cause I can’t be bothered writing the different matches ✌️

Day 1 of training

Everyone in team 1 was chilling, more like waiting cause ego called them into the meet room. “Hello, my diamond in the rough, how was your match? Not bad… great. Today marks the start of your training camp. And who is your t-” the screen closed

“That dame bastard, so annoying.” A new voice appeared in the room,

“Ahh” “Who?” “Ahh,” “WTF”

A Tall, white-haired female who clearly wasn't here before stood in the middle of the room. “Hello” waving her hand “I am your trainer for the next 2 weeks”

Murmurs began to start “now, to officially start this training camp, start by running 50 laps around this room”

“What?” “Do what?”

“Start now, or no dinner.” this caused people to start running. ‘I knew that would work, no one would reject not having dinner.’

“Oi, old hang you do I have to run,” Shido shouted

Y/n turned around and look at Shido through the pitch-black glasses she wears. “Because Ryusei Shido, it’s for you to get stronger.” Shido could feel her gaze through her glasses “Now get running or you’ll run another 5- laps”

Out of fear, Shido began running again, this time faster as he could feel her gaze on him almost making two holes in the back of his head.

Isagi was out of breath by lap 34 Shido was the second to finish, after Rin, and Isagi finished at number 8 and everybody slowly after that.

“Great, now that everyone is done with the warmup, I should do a little introduction.” Y/n clapped her hands as the last few finish up “I am Gojo Y/n your new trainer until the U-20 Japan match, nice to meet you” Everyone looked at her “Now, I will spend two hours each day for the next two and push you as far as you can after all” A shiver was sent down everyone’s spin… again almost like there fucked “My logic is very simple if you are not dead by the end of this training session. Then I will make you work to death.” In the sweetest voice anyone could have, but saying the most brutal thing.

And this was how most people in group 1 would die after every training.

Time skip … again

In the main presentation room, all 45 participants were present. Ego was on the stage. “When a person focuses on something, they can get so absorbed in their work they don’t realise the passing of time.” Ego’s tone was very stable and calm “taking enjoyment in the process, their brain enters a state of excitement. To put it simply, that is the ‘flow’.”

The Flow is a state of extreme focus where you are immersed in what you are doing.

“Now that Ego is done with his presentation, let me introduce you to another phenomenon called ‘curses’” Y/n stood on the stage in a black long-sleeve kind of body-hugging long dress with a long black coat, black heels and her signature black glasses. (Again if you don’t like this outfit then you can change it)

“Curses, are a race of spiritual beings created from negativity. Now everyone in this room has curse energy, but only a selected few can weld it by will.” A cart of glasses rolled toward Y/n “here, take one and passed it on.”

After everyone got a pair of glasses Y/n started talking again “Put the glasses on before we continue.” A movement of kids putting their glasses on. “These glasses have been imbued with curse energy, therefor you should be able to see the orb that I am creating.” Y/n held her hand open and a red ball appeared in her palm. “This is a form of curse energy, normally you wouldn’t be able to see it but since you are wearing the glasses it allowed you to see it. And that's what the flow is like a sudden surge of curse energy that gives you a push in what you are doing. Isagi!”

“Hai”

“Is a perfect example, he momentarily entered the state of the flow which means he had a burst of curse energy in physical strength and most importantly, the firing of neurons which allowed him to have a full spital awareness of the court.”

Yukimiya put his hand up “Yes, you”

“Y/n - san, how did you know Isagi momentarily entered the flow?”

“Yukimiya, to those who could weld curse energy at will we also have the ability to see curses, in a matter of fact if you look at the end of the room” Y/n walked off the stage while the boy’s head turned to see the back of the room. “What is that!” “That thing!” “I… want to vomit”

“This gents is a curse and as a jujutsu sorcerer, it’s my job to excoriate it.”

‘That thing’ thought Isagi ‘is similar to the one I saw in the training room’

“But like skills, different sorcerers have different ways to excoriate a curse.” Y/n walked towards the curse at the end of the room. “First grade huh,” she whispered, with a click of her finger, the head of the curse turned into a splatter with purple goo covering the corner that was trapped in. Everyone else in the room looked at her, more like her back standing tall and proud it seems like this is her everyday job.

“Now you can keep the glasses, but if you don’t want to see this creature when you are going to bed I suggest only wearing them when you are analysing your opponents.” Her glasses slid down a bit, allowing her eye to be visible. Bright blue eyes, like the reflection of the sky staring back at the player, the brightest object in this dark corner that seems to peer into the souls of the living. Unnerving and unwavering of the eyes looking back. “Right now get out and start training for the round coming up.”

Time skip to one day before the match

“Isagi, good luck on your match tomorrow” “Y/n why are you telling me this now” “Isagi, I have a mission tomorrow so I won’t be able to tell you that, I’ll try getting to the match as fast as I can after finishing off my mission, ok”

Y/n raised her hand and touched Isagi’s head, ruffling his hair “Isagi I know you can lead this team to win, you will become the star of this show.” Her bright blue eyes look into Isagi’s eyes “Because Isagi, you are similar to us. Your eye has traces of curse energy more than the average human but less than curse users, if you can somehow manipulate it at will then this will help you in the near future.” Y/n then touched Isagi’s face, her eyes began to water making her already mesmerising eyes even more ethereal.

“Wait for me Isagi, and let me see you win this match.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After this is offically start of the U-20 arc the arc might be split up into different parts to make my life easier.

[quasar-kaiser]

Whoops I just disappeared for a week, being sick really made me lose energy for most social media – I'm starting to feel better now though!

But I have realised that I've completely forgotten to alt text my art, so I'll slowly be doing that for the next few days 👍

If anyone has tips on how to do that, by all means tell me because I have absolutely no experience with this haha

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (12/11/23)

with ichinose and now gill over I'm looking forward to the next serialization round that should be starting soonish oh and also new series by golden kamuy's author this week 👍

blue - finale/completed green - new series/new to me

Anime

Frieren Ep10

I knew this was what was gonna happen when they went out their way to explain how the scales worked and all that but still extremely pog to see, also all the flamme screentime in this ep was great

Undead Unluck Ep6

the weakest episode so far, which is fair cause production values had to even out at some point, but it was still p good all things considered. I forgot that he makes his first appearance at the end of this arc, which should be the next ep, so that should be fun to see

Imas Million Live Ep6

I expected the ep to have some more drama with shizuka and her dad but it was mostly introducing kaori and tsumugi, which is better. next episode we're getting the good ol classic beach episode so that should be very fun

Manga

Ice-Head Gill Ch20 (Finale)

well that sure was a series. gill might have gotten 20 chaps but it's still an honorary member of the U-19 club. I never had any expectations that it was going long from the start and I was right. while I like that it had the norse mithology theme which is rarer that's about all it had going for it. the art was p good but the battles were hard to follow most of the time. story was a usual fare too, dad disappears and son sets out into the world to find him and figure out what happened, and the charas are p forgettable as well. I've honestly read much worse stuff but it's still unremarkable in every way so doesn't get much. better luck next time hachiya, at least I'd rather see you again than taizan or ichigoki's author

Dogsred Ch1 - 11

this golden kamuy's author's newest manga, which is basically a reboot of their first serialization. I never read/watched any of gk but always heard good things so decided to pick this up on whim, since I don't even really know much about hockey and.. it's p good. you can really tell it's made by a veteran artist and you can also see little hints here and there that noda is a big hockey nerd (makes sense since it was their first series too but yknow). first few chaps did a good job explaining the sport for people who aren't used to it through the eyes of our clueless mc. I like sports series so it'll be nice having another one like this on my weeks. I'll get to blue lock one day..

ST✰R: Strike it Rich Ch12

the fights with those two yolked sisters were cool but I certainly didn't expect the chinese girl to win. very excited to see her fight hina now, actual martial arts is more interesting to see rather than brute force pummeling

Akane-banashi Ch86

great chap, it's good to see akane's senpais getting their time to shine in the spotlight, ofc kaisei is gonna win this to build him up even more as akane's ultimate rival, but it's still cool to see him showing off like this

[delfiore]

i’ll be the rain and you’d be tomorrow [pt. i]

pairing: wanda maximoff x super soldier!reader

synopsis: as a former HYDRA assassin, you begin to atone for the things you did under their hypnosis, starting with wanda maximoff, the twin sister of the boy you murdered.

warnings: PTSD, panic attack, heavy angst

a/n: heeeeeey lol :3 not me disappearing for weeks 🧍‍♀️i started this weeks ago but then i hated it so i rewrote the entire thing a week ago, so that’s why this took so long. part ii will come out in a few days 😄👍

word count: 4.3k

>> part ii

now playing:

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“What do you remember?”

What do I remember, you thought. Nothing. Nothing and everything. You recalled these memories that floated in your head like smudged polaroids. But they weren’t your memories, not really.

You recalled your wrists aching and searing, pink like pork meat, a light flickering over your head, the only light you could see. Pain unlike anything you have ever experienced spread through your head, like someone had smashed your skull in and somehow you could still feel it. You were bound to a chair as strange faces surrounded you like sharks circling around a prey. You recalled struggling in the bondage, but realizing that there was no way to escape. Then, you recalled that you could not recall anything at all.

One of the men, seemingly older than the rest, approached. You thought by the receding hairline on his head and the way he carried himself with a bigger menace than the rest that he was their leader.

He bent down to your eye-level. “Доброе утро, солдат.” Good morning, soldier.

The pain has reduced to a numbing sensation by then. Your mouth moved, yet you did not want it to. “Я готов отвечать.” Ready to comply.

“It was as if I were a stranger in my own body,” you said, “like watching someone else from a window.”

“What did they make you do in your first mission?” You looked up at the blond man, his shoulders squared and stoic, the symbol of what America strives to be.

“Assassinate the Romanovs on behalf of the rebels, 1918.” You replied. Suddenly memories of that night rushed back, the wails and screams of the Tsar’s daughters next to him, now reduced to a limp, bleeding corpse. The silence that followed was more haunting than anything you have ever experienced.

“How did HYDRA get to you?”

“They picked me up after I almost died in the war. Some time after, I started seeing others like me, those injected with the serum. I remember seeing you, Mr. Barnes. You were their favorite, and they didn’t bother to hide it.”

At the mention of his name, the man shifted to the other side of his hips, his metal fist tightened and released.

The blond man nodded. “Alright, Y/N. You’re safe here now. Bucky’ll take you upstairs. Don’t worry, you’re not a prisoner here.”

You followed Bucky out of the room, which you noticed was some sort of interrogation room inside of a darker hallway of holding cells. The elevator you stepped through wasn’t anything like you’ve seen before. It looked like a box from the future, with white walls and floating control buttons.

“This is maybe a good time to tell you that . . . “ Bucky hesitated, exhaling heavily, “not everyone will be too welcoming of you.”

You nodded slightly just as the elevator doors opened to an equally lavish-looking common area of some sort. Bucky led you towards a group of people that were scattered around some couches all of whom turned towards you at the commotion.

You suddenly felt a wave of nervousness wash over you. The last time so many pairs of eyes were on you, your identity was almost uncovered, which also meant you were close to finding out who you were in your brainwashed state. Of course HYDRA wasn’t too happy with that and they brought you back to the chair to cleanse you.

“Everyone, this is Y/N Y/L/N, one of the prisoners from HYDRA we rescued.” You saw Bucky give you an encouraging smile.

Low murmurs of ‘hi’s and small waves emitted from the crowd. A woman with red hair stepped forward, her walk lean and assured.

“Welcome to the team, Y/N.” She extended her hand. “Natasha Romanoff.”

“Romanoff.” You echoed. “I fought you once. You’re the Black Widow.”

“Huh, so you’ve been remembering.”

“I’ve been trying.” You rubbed your thumb against your fingers.

Another encouraging smile, this time from Natasha. Then there was a shift in her eyes, as if she was focusing on something else behind you, and the smile dropped.

The girl approached with caution, but there was not a trace of emotion on her face. Her lips pressed into a thin line, as she took another step towards you. Your chest began to rise and fall with anxiety. It was scary seeing a witness to murder act so calmly around you, especially when that witness was a victim’s sister.

She put out a hand to you like Natasha did, expecting you to reciprocate her act of hospitality. You had no choice. You were at her mercy, so you took her hand. Everyone around was watching with bated breath.

Suddenly, you felt a pain coursing through your arm, numbing, aching. Then the pain reached your head and you felt as if someone was cracking your skull open like an egg. You let out a low groan which increased just as the pain did exponentially. You sunk to your knees, holding your temple, screaming, all the while the girl still clutched onto your hand. Red wisps coated her hand.

“Wanda, stop it!” Natasha shouted, quickly detached her hand from yours just as everyone jumped in panic. Bucky kneeled next to you and held your hand.

“What does that feel like?” You heard Wanda speak over you. “To feel like you’re dying? At least now you’ll know what Pietro felt in his last moments.”

Her voice was harsh and cold. You couldn’t see her face but you didn’t dare to look her in the eye. She walked away, leaving you with a throbbing pain in your temples, a stark reminder of the sins of your past.

Wanda avoided you like the plague at the Avengers Compound. You didn’t blame her though. Your face would bring her back to HYDRA, and how you murdered her brother in cold blood. The boy was acting up, not following orders, and your superior commanded you to take him down. It was the same face that killed him, but you had no choice. You watched yourself commit the crime, your body acting upon the words of your commander and not by your own will. You were a prisoner in your own body.

“Let’s talk about your time at HYDRA.” You remembered your therapist asking you. Dr. Morey came to you after the government had given you an official pardon. “We’ll start from the beginning.”

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about that.” You mumbled, looking down at the hem of your jacket.

“Alright, that’s okay.” She nodded and crossed her legs. “Tell me about the girl. Wanda, that’s her name, right?”

“What about Wanda?”

“She’s on your list, no? Of all the people you mean to make amends with.”

You looked up at her and nodded.

“How has your relationship progressed ever since you met?”

You scoffed. “She zapped me with her witchy powers and hasn’t talked to me since, so.”

“I see, and have you made any effort to talk to her at all?” Dr. Morey asked.

Again, you rolled your eyes at the superficial interest she showed for your life. “I don’t think that she’d want to talk to her brother’s killer.”

“But it wasn’t actually you, right? You were mind-controlled.” You stayed silent. “Does Wanda understand this?”

You only shrugged and kept your attention on your fumbling fingers. “From what I see, what you both need, what you need, Y/N, is some closure. Wanda grieves her brother, and you grieve the person you were before you were taken prisoner. Maybe if you had a conversation with her about this, I know it can be hard, but an attempt might change everything. If it doesn’t work, you mustn’t bother her again.”

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The Internet was a fascinating world that you recently discovered behind the laptop screen. It seemed that it had the answer to everything and contained entertainment of all sorts of genres. You decided to use this almighty tool to find ways to improve your memory. The answer you received was meditation, a good sleep schedule, and a healthy diet. The method with the least amount of effort, you read, was drinking coffee.

So there you were, standing in the kitchen, scratching your ears in front of this machinery that Clint Barton told you would make your coffee for you. You sighed in frustration when you couldn’t get the machine to work and were close to just making the coffee by grinding up the beans yourself, the way you would do it the last time you drank coffee, in the 1900s.

You felt a figure approaching. Your instincts forced you to turn around and be met with the resentful eyes of Wanda Maximoff. Her slender fingers wrapped around a mug as she leaned against the kitchen counter. Gingerly, you moved aside, allowing her to access the coffee machine, which she operated with ease. Soon, fresh warm coffee flowed into her mug.

You kept your distance with her as she waited for her drink to finish, her back facing you and most of her smooth, dark hair framed her face. In her otherworldly presence, you felt small and powerless.

“Next time, coffee in here, then this button here.” She spoke and demonstrated.

You nodded meekly, as she carefully took the mug and began walking away.

“I’m sorry. For what I did. I . . .” You spoke quietly. “It was never personal. I had no choice. I’m so sorry.”

This made her look over her shoulder, her inhospitable eyes boring into yours. You saw her hand on the mug squeeze the handle tight, and you prepared for the worst as she took a step towards you. You looked down at your clenched hands and leaned back when she was in front of you, bracing for impact.

“I know you had no choice.” Wanda sighed. “But in the end, my brother is still gone. Every time I look at you, I hear his screams, his painful moans, the way he called my name for help.”

She looked away as tears collected in the corner of her eyes. “So, please. For both our sakes, I’m asking you not to speak to me again. You don’t get in my way, I won’t get into yours.”

You nodded as Wanda disappeared from the kitchen. You released a heavy exhale that you have been holding in. Maybe this was for the best. You didn’t deserve this closure that Dr. Morey talked about. Happy endings don’t come to monsters like you.

The Captain had asked for you to come into the meeting room one day, a stoic yet soft expression on his face as he stood with his arms crossed. Bucky was also there, sitting on the edge of the table. It looked like they had just finished a conversation. Though you knew you were older than the both of them by decades, the way they had been watching over you made you feel like their younger sibling.

“We wanted to ask you if you wanted to join us in our next mission.”

You wanted to protest, but Steve continued. “Don’t worry, we’re not asking you to engage in combat, not if you don’t want to, but we believe you would be a great asset in the medical team given your history.”

You knew what he was referring to. What you were surprised about was how he dug up this information about you. You wouldn’t think any record of your existence survived past the war, especially after you became a HYDRA assassin. You would think they would have erased everything about you.

They gave you a uniform that you saw the medical staff wore, on the pocket of your right breast the Avengers logo engraved in red, and on the left, your name. Your name, the one that your mother gave you, the one your younger siblings called whenever they were hungry or needed help with a change of clothes. The name you signed up with to be drafted in the war, and the name that HYDRA beat out of you until all that was left, and all you responded to was солдат.

Your name, it had looked so unfamiliar you had almost forgotten what it looked like.

You followed the Avengers as they boarded their airship; today was Steve, Bucky, Sam and Wanda. Seeing you took her by surprise for a second, then the cold gaze glazed over again.

“What is she doing here?” She grumbled.

“Hey, easy now, alright?” Bucky was there to hold her back. “Y/N’s here as a paramedic.”

You made yourself invisible as you sat on the bench, watching the Avengers revised their plan of attack. Your eyes didn’t leave Wanda, her eyes focused on the map in front of her under furrowed eyebrows. You didn’t realize you were staring until your gaze met hers, and quickly looked away.

You stayed back in the quinjet as per requested by Steve. As they left the jet one by one, you couldn’t help but trail your eyes behind Wanda, holding onto to hope that you would see her return through the same entrance.

About ten minutes later, you heard an explosion. You ran towards the rear end of the ship. There lay a young man, unmoving, bleeding just a few feet away from Wanda. She sank to her knees, next to the bleeding man blood of red poured from his side like a fountain. Her hands, her bare hands, hovered over him like she would when she used her scarlet magic. But there was no magic, only quivering hands and scrambling eyes as she searched for the next right thing to do.

You ran to her, and mimicked her pose. Your shoulder shoved her and she seemed to have woken from her trance.

“Pressure on the opening. Like this, see?” You pressed your hand on the wound, and bent down to the man’s face. “Check for a pulse.”

You let your hands do the work, taking the bandage from the bag you had slung around your shoulders.

“Go. I got it here.” You told her. “Go.”

A huff of breath followed her moment of hesitation, then she ran off.

“We gotta get rid of all these guys. Watch out for civilians, as little damage as possible.” Steve said through the comms, throwing his shield against the enemy.

She was occupied enough with the agents in front of her. They rained bullets on her, and she put up a shield. When that didn’t work, they came closer with their batons raised high, just like they did back at HYDRA when they needed to discipline her. But as she was never threatened with batons before, she came willingly to them, and they treated her like royalty compared to the other prisoners, compared to people like you. So why was she seeing this?

Her eyes snapped up, and one of the agents had managed to strike her right across the face. She fell to the floor with a thud, disoriented. Her breath shortened, as she saw the end of the baton in the sky, just about covering the sun. She closed her eyes, but it never came. When she looked again, the agent was on the ground, taking punch after punch by someone, by you. When the others came forth, you took them on and cut them down with ease.

When you looked back at her, there was only one look that she could make out in your eyes; relief.

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Dr. Morey encouraged you to find a hobby to take your mind off of things. You agreed because that was what you were supposed to do; she was supposed to be the expert. You remembered, when you were young, you would doodle on the pieces of scrap paper that your parents left laying around at home. Every time you did, the beating you get afterwards would make you abstain from doing it for a few days, then your need to replicate everything on paper would take over. You would sketch the cows, the house, your father doing his reading, the bakery in town, anything that you wanted to capture, but you had to do so sparingly. Steve gave you an entire sketchbook and packs of pencils after you told him, and you felt like it was a luxury that you couldn’t afford.

You started by sketching your room in a two-point perspective, then the Compound itself, then your teammates in their natural states; Steve and Natasha training, Bucky reading, Sam napping, Dr. Banner enjoying a cup of tea and Stark testing out his gear, even young Peter Parker when he would come by and do his homework in the common lounge.

One person that you haven’t come around to drawing was Wanda, mainly because every time she came around, you found an excuse to make yourself scarce. Ever since the mission though, the air around you and her has gotten lighter. She found it in her to look you in the eye now without a glint of hatred trailing behind.

During the cooler summer days, you liked to sit outside on the terrace, soaking in the sun while enjoying a cold cup of iced tea. In your hands, a pencil brought the white paper to life with pieces of your life, your surroundings.

You looked up when you heard a hearty laugh in the common area. Wanda was stepping in with Vision, both holding cups of coffee as they approached the table. The sight left you speechless; a wide smile on her face that made her eyes squint, her teeth white like pearls lit up the room, that everything else seemed to dim so she could shine. You stared, maybe a bit too long. Then your hand flipped the sketchbook to a blank page and started sketching.

Soon, Wanda lived forever in your sketchbook, leaning forwards with her arms crossed at the coffee table laughing the way you loved. It was the most beautiful smile that you have ever seen, and you wished it would stay there forever.

You were spending the next few minutes perfecting your drawing, when your phone buzzed with a notification; Avengers assemble. You finished the last few drops of iced tea that have almost blended into pure ice water and gathered your sketchbook. On the way in, you opened your phone to check for details of this call, when you tripped over a book that lay rogue on the floor. The sketchbook in your hand went flying and loose pages scattered on the floor. You mumbled a curse under your breath and bent down to collect them. Another hand picked up a drawing of the yard. You looked up to see Wanda examine it quickly, then met your gaze and handed you the page.

Just as she began to stand up, her eyes caught on a drawing in the book, the one of hers you made only minutes before. You felt like digging a hole and staying in there until you rotted.

“I . . . like to sketch stuff, just random things that I see.” You stuttered. “I can get rid of it if you want.”

She handed you the last of your pages. “Keep it.”

There was a hint of a smile when she walked away.

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The run-down house was fenced by wires strung around rotten wooden planks. It looked quaint, surrounded by first trees of the woods on the left, and a dirt road leading into town to the right. There was a meadow in front that seemed to have run to the edge of the sky. It wasn’t until the goats bleated in their cage and the dandelions blew past your face that you realized; you were home. The feeling of familiarity, comfort and serenity was what gave it away. Home, this must be home.

The grass underneath your bare feet felt so inviting. You crouched down until your back was poked with the tingling feeling of the grass. Stretching your arms wide, you gazed up at the blue sky. A small breeze brushed over your face, and you let out a deep breath.

This was the first time you’ve ever dreamed of something like this. Everything was bright and colorful, but most importantly, it was comforting. You suddenly realized that this wasn’t only a dream. Before, after you would shepherd the animals back into their cages, you would always reward yourself with maybe 15 minutes of this peacefulness. This was a memory.

You heard your name being called. A figure blocked your vision of the sky, then another, then another. Your siblings. You saw the silhouette of your mother standing in the kitchen, one hand stirring the stew on the stove, the other holding your youngest sister. Smiling, gave the squirming toddler a quick peck on her forehead, and put the necklace on around her neck.

“Think of me,” you whispered, your thumb running over the crescent moon pendant sitting on her chest, “even when we’re apart, we are together under the same moon.”

Moonlight pierced your body when you opened your eyes again. You sat up, shifting on your aching back. Maybe sleeping on the floor wasn’t such a good idea after all, but it’s what you were used to.

You spent the entire night looking out the window until dawn broke, unknowing of the telepathic girl having watched your dream like a movie in her head.

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“Harder. Come on. I know you can do better than that.”

Natasha had convinced you to join the team in combat after hearing about the mission a few months ago. You accepted, albeit reluctantly. You had a million reasons not to fight anyone ever again, but only one reason to do so; to keep Wanda from harm.

Though Natasha knew you were just getting back to it, she did not take it easy on you. Your arms ached as you continued throwing punches at her gloves.

Only when the sun became a red sphere over the horizon did she let you rest.

“Good job today, champ.” She gave you a small smile and a hand on your shoulder. “Same time tomorrow?”

You nodded and wiped the sweat on your forehead with your arm, before continuing to take off the dirtied hand wrap.

“Y/N.” It was Bucky’s voice. You looked up just as he stood in front of you. In his hands was a thin stack of files.

You looked up at the man who gave you a small smile, and sat down next to you.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Your feet were planted on the ground. So many doubts began to run through your head. This was the moment that you have been waiting for, but you could not go through with it. It had been so long.

“Isa doesn’t get many visitors these days. It might take her a while to get used to you.” The nurse informed you. “May I ask who you are to her?”

Your eyes moved away from the frail figure peering through the window. “Her sister.”

At this, the nurse’s face dropped slightly and scanned you up and down, but she quickly regained the composed smile. “Right. Follow me then.”

“This is all I could find on your person, Isabella Y/L/N.” Bucky said, handing you the file. “Took a while, but I managed.”

All the other seniors though, limited in their mobility, seemed animated and interacted with each other, talking, playing chess, reading, watching TV. Isa was the only one unmoving in her wheelchair, staring out the window like it held the entire world.

A lump in your throat began to form as your steps became heavier. You knelt in front of the old woman.

“Hey, Isa. Little one. Remember me?” You said quietly, watching her face for any sign of recognition.

Isa didn’t respond, only blinked twice while giving all her attention to the outside world.

“For the past four years or so, Isa’s dementia has gotten quite severe. It’s come to a point now that she needs assistance in every task in her daily life.” The nurse spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Your hands reached to find her slender and boney fingers. There was something underneath, crumpled, but warm, like she’s never let go of it. You opened her hand to find a piece of paper, no, an old photograph, worn, blotted, burned. Of your family, your mother, your father, your four siblings, and you.

“Sometimes Isa would remember and she would call out a name, and that would be the only thing she says for months. Y/N, I think it was.”

You knew you had to get out of there as soon as possible. Your crying would probably upset all the people in there and you didn’t want to risk anyone having a heart attack.

“Excuse me.” You said before walking out of the recreation room quickly.

Outside, the walls felt as if they were closing in on you. You held onto one of them, your knees buckling, and the tears began to overwhelm in your eyes. You finally let yourself go, bringing your palms to your eyes, and sobbed.

This was never the life you wanted. You wanted to live your life, do the things you love, grow old, and die a peaceful death on your bed surrounded by those you love. Never would you imagine, going into the war to help soldiers and save lives, that you would become a killer, a monster, and those whom you have brought down would always be with and haunt you until the rest of your days. The last time you saw Isa, she was merely three. You hated that you’ve lost all this time, you hated yourself for signing up for the war, you hated yourself for everything you’ve done. There was no rest.

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>> part ii

[viscountessevie]

Taking Semi Blog Hiatus from Book/Show Content

Sorry sorry this took a while to come out - mealtimes with the fam and helping my mom with chores but anyways: Yes I am alive and well, I disappeared for a bit because I took a nap after the intense morning/afternoon I had yesterday and ended up sleeping 11 straight hours 💀💀 then took a couple more to draft my previous post as well as this one. [Also the clowning on anon hate one if yall want a laugh]

I'll explain in a bit why it's a semi hiatus and to be transparent: I'll still be online - more active blogging on my side blog - just not posting on this blog. This is some housekeeping for me to clear up before I leave for the next week:

Basically on a personal level, I do not feel comfortable continuing to post other types of content as per normal after what happened yesterday (it just feels very dismissive of me to move on so quickly) so I'm leaving these last few posts up as my latest posts for the next few days.

As mentioned above, I will also be taking a break from posting for the next week or so but again my asks about this and my DMs are always open to anyone to talk! Also after going back and forth and reading back my posts, I promise this was not a decision I made lightly but I will be turning off anon. Sorry to all my well-meaning followers and anons but I rather know who I am talking for this period of time. You can still indicate if you want to keep the conversation/asks private or not - my default would be reply privately but you can let me know otherwise 👍 !

[Also just saw that I got an ask from TGD anon hi there! I think I'm okay and open to this so anyone who wants to send me Bridgerton or just random check in asks unrelated to the convo currently on my blog you can do so at my side blog @allkinds-oftrash - I'll be answering your ask there @ TGD anon. Also just got another anon with a tweet attached before I closed anons shjsjs but Hi Anon, I also will be replying to that ask on my side blog!]

EDIT: The poll is now officially closed! Also a lot of you always comment to me how funny it is so I'm asking yall to send that love to Lav @sweetestviscount ! She's the one who came up with all the funny questions in Section 3!

That's all for now everyone, be safe, kind to one another in our fandom bubble and take care. I'll see you when I see you! Love you all ❤