#and now hes all broken up and sad about it and ITS BREAKING MY HEART

[gukcnt]

MY LOVE, UNTIL I RETURN ⭒ KTH

in which you and taehyung share an emotional final day, filled with desperate love and physical connection, as you prepare for the pain of his impending military enlistment.

pairing — dom!taehyung x sub!femreader

genre — established relationship, slice of life, military enlistment, long distance relationship, heartbreak, smut, fluff, lots of angst, sad ending

warnings/tags — 18+, explicit smut, hard dom!taehyung, possessive!taehyung, emotional intimacy, grief, military enlistment anxiety, physical closeness, shyness and vulnerability, possessive tenderness, music and dancing, promises and vows, love confessions, lots of crying, post departure grief, separation anxiety, assurances of love, they love each other so much i can't, oral sex (f. receiving), eating out, cunnilingus, face riding, face sitting, cum swallowing, tongue fucking, clit stimulation, multiple sex scenes, multiple orgasms, multiple positions, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, lots of breast play, he is obsessed with her tits, nipple play, nipple sucking and biting, rough sex, missionary position, doggy, riding, gentle lovemaking, emotional sex, cockwarming, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation, against the wall sex, cum play, overstimulation, making out, hickies/marking, bruising and scratching, spanking, shower sex, morning sex, oral sex (m. receiving), cock palming, cock sucking, face fucking, hair fisting, cum swallowing, power dynamics, body worship, loving aftercare

wc — 11k

a/n — i literally shed tears while writing this aaaa, i miss tae so much y'all! 😭

series m. list | main m. list

────୨ৎ────

The mourning was inevitable, the regular smell of air in your apartment filled with the musky smell of Taehyung's cologne.

A scent you were so used to that it felt like a part of your own skin.

The sunlight casts a soft glow over the couch where you sat, its cushions filled with years of shared moments.

Taehyung was beside you.

His presence as always providing you comfort, yet it was painful.

His broad shoulders, usually confident, now hunched forward showing the weight that he was carrying.

His dark hair slightly messy and falling over his eyes, framing his face in a way that makes him look both boyish and mature.

His deep brown eyes usually having a playful spark or intensity, were clouded today with grief.

And a desperation.

The sight of him like this—beautiful, broken, and yours—makes your chest ache painfully.

With a fierce love.

You’re curled up beside him, legs tucked beneath you as your body instinctively seeks his warmth.

You wore one of his oversized white shirts, it felt warm and cozy along with the smell of him that clings to the shirt.

Enveloping you.

Reminding you of his impending departure.

Your hands rested in your lap, fingers twisting nervously—a habit developed from anxiety that didn’t leave you since he told you about his military enlistment six days ago.

Your heart felt like it's trapped.

A reminder.

Of the clock ticking and each minute slipping from you until he leaves.

Taehyung's deep voice soon breaks the silence.

“My love.” he murmurs.

The endearment spilled out of his mouth for you, making your breath catch.

He reached for your hand, fingers warm and calloused from years of hard work, his roughness softening just for you.

His hand slowly starts tracing slow comforting circles over your knuckles, making your lips part.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this.” he says.

Voice cracking slightly with emotion.

“A week left and all I can think about is how I wanna memorize every inch of you,” he breathes.

“I wanna carry you with me, sweet girl, so I don’t forget what it feels like to be whole.”

His words felt like a knife to your chest and tears well up in your eyes, threatening to spill.

Your cheeks warming beneath his attention as you finally lift your eyes to meet his, raw vulnerability in them.

Stealing your breath.

“tae…” you whisper.

Your voice trembles, biting your lower lip, trying to hold back the sob trying to escape.

He shifts closer, arm wrapping around your waist possessively.

The heat of his touch grounding you against the ache in your chest.

His other hand cups your cheek, thumb brushing away a tear you hadn’t realized had fallen.

“I know my baby”

Voice steady for you despite the storm you know he is facing by looking at his eyes.

Wanting to stay strong for you.

His lips brush your forehead, lingering there.

Branding himself into your skin.

“I’m terrified too. The thought of being with you... fuck—it's like losing a part of myself,” he says.

“But I’m here now, hmm? I’m gonna love you so much, so completely, you’ll feel me even when I’m gone.”

His words felt like a lifeline and you lean onto him, head resting against his chest.

The steady beat of his heart matching your own.

That lulled you to sleep several nights.

Just imagining how you will sleep without it once he was gone brings tears back to your eyes.

You whimper shakily, causing his arms to tighten around you and you breathe in his cologne, clean male scent.

Your fingers clutched shirt.

Desperately clinging to him.

۶ৎ

The week before his departure has been full of emotions.

All moments shared close together, barely giving you any relief.

Mornings were spent tangled in bed as Taehyung's lips traced your sensitive skin—your neck, shoulder.

Especially the sensitive spot behind your ear, him knowing it makes you arch into him.

His constant whispers of “I love yous” and “you’re mine” surrounding you permanently.

Afternoons spent with quiet walks in your backyard garden, relishing each other's presence.

His hands never leaving yours, fingers holding yours tightly

Afraid you’ll slip away.

He tried to make things normal, you could feel it. His laughter, so rich and deep, comforting you in ways you couldn’t explain.

Taking away the pain of separation that will happen eventually, even for a little bit.

He wouldn’t leave your side even while cooking, staying by your side all the time while you prepared all his favorite meals.

Knowing he was gonna miss them when he's gone.

Heartfelt conversations and teasings would end up with heated kisses against the counter, his body pressed against yours, hands roaming all over you with hunger.

Never leaving a chance to not touch you.

But the nights—oh god, the nights.

It unraveled both of you in a way, desperation controlling you both.

The nights were a mix of touches and need.

Bodies speaking louder than words.

Each kiss and touch felt like a promise, a plea and a goodbye that will break you both.

And yet no amount of memorizing felt enough.

Not when the time constantly taunted you both.

۶ৎ

Taehyung pulls you closer, now in bed, arms tightening around you until there’s no space left.

His lips finding yours, gentle and soft, tasting you, tongue tangles with yours, slow and exploring every corner of your mouth.

Consuming you.

When he pulls back, his forehead rested against yours, both your breaths ragged, eyes searching yours with an intensity that makes your stomach flutter.

“My love,” he rasps.

“I need you to know something… for me, yeah? no matter where I am or how far apart we are, you're with me no matter what, always…”

“You’re in my very blood, my soul, and I’m gonna fight every day to come back to you, to hold you like this, and love you until we’re old and gray.”

His voice was gruff, laying his heart for you through his words.

“Do you hear me, hm, baby?”

His voice hitched, and you see his eyes glistening with tears.

A rare emotion, he hides so well.

He never cries.

But for you, he was a broken man.

You nod, throat too tight to speak, burying your face in his chest, tears soaking his shirt.

“I love you, taehyung.”

You sob, voice muffled.

“I’ll wait for you. I'll always wait for you.”

He holds you for what felt like hours and hours, the world fading.

Only the two of you.

All that existed was him, you, and the raw love you both shared for each other.

The love that you guys will have when he needs to go for his enlistment.

But for now, you clinged to the moment, soaking his warmth and his loving words, meant for you only.

Because you knew… that soon…

It will be all you have left.

۶ৎ

It's the day before Taehyung's departure.

The sky itself was gloomy today, the threat of rain mirroring the environment in your home.

The ache in your chest.

You stir awake in bed, body feeling heavy with what's about to come, the loss you're gonna face.

Your half lidded eyes opened slightly, only to find Taehyung already gazing at you.

He’s propped on one elbow, bare torso and hard muscles, his eyes holding yours with several emotions—love, hunger, and a quiet fury.

Anger at the time slipping away.

You’re curled up against him, your legs tangling with his beneath the sheets, an usual act, hinting that the intimacy of such normality will be gone soon.

“Darling…”

His voice made your throat tighten.

His hand reaches up, fingers brushing your cheek, calloused finger tracing your features.

A shiver goes down your spine.

“I want today to be ours.” he growls.

You let out a quiet whimper, tears welling in your eyes, but you held them back for the sake of both of you.

Wanting to make the most of today.

His dark eyes stared straight into your soul, getting to know all your feelings without you telling them.

“taehyung,” you crooned

“I don’t know how to let you go. I'm so scared.”

The words spilling out uncontrollably, raw and heartbreaking as tears started streaming down your face.

Against your will.

He immediately pulls you into his arms, hard chest pressing against you, and he fists your hair, holding you to him.

His hand slides to the small of your back, the heat of his touch seeping through you.

“Baby,” he hums.

“I’m terrified too. But I'm here now.”

Lips brushed over your jawline.

“I love you, sweet girl… more than anything”

۶ৎ

The day starts with each moment in a midst of needing to be close, imprinting the other's presence into memory.

Breakfast was quiet in the kitchen.

Taehyung was standing at the stove, broad shoulders relaxed as he flips the pancakes with a practiced ease.

He’s shirtless, only wearing sweatpants that hung low on his hips, revealing his masculine beauty.

Making your legs clench unknowingly.

You sit at the table, hands wrapping around a hot cup of coffee Taehyung made for you earlier.

Taehyung soon turns, a plate of crispy pancakes in hand, flashing you a warm smile.

A boxy smile that was now tinged with sadness.

That he tried his best to hide.

“Eat for me, love.” he orders.

His commanding voice slipped out of him, unknowingly.

Whenever he needs to take care of you.

He sets the plate before you, and drizzled some chocolate syrup over the pancakes, knowing by heart you like them like that.

He leans down, pecking your lips, your chest heaving at his care.

“I wanna see you smile today.” he demands.

You try, but the smile feels fake, something he notices.

He always does.

His eyes softened, and he sits across from you, knees touching yours under the table, teasing you.

His thumb strokes your palm, the simple touch sent a warmth through you, eyes meeting his, biting your bottom lip to control your emotions.

“tae…”

His grip tightens on you, eyes darkening.

“You don’t have to be strong, darling.” he coos.

“Fall apart if you need to. You know I'll always be here. Ready to catch you… always.”

The words felt like a vow, and before you know it, a tear spills down your cheeks.

He leans across the table, kissing the tear away, and you gasp, clinging to him.

His actions making you ache more.

And you realize you’ll ache forever.

Until he returns.

۶ৎ

After breakfast, his need to be close to you becomes overwhelming, and Taehyung suggests a shower.

Voice laced with desire.

Taehyung stepping in first in the spacious shower, and the sight of him under the water steals your breath.

The water streaming down his body, almost tracing his muscles, droplets cling to him, causing an insistent pulse between your legs.

His wet hair pressed to his forehead, and his eyes met yours, longing and lust in them.

He motions at you with a single finger.

“Come here.” he exhales, sharply.

You step into the shower, heart racing and the water now falling over you as well, soaking your shirt.

Making it see through for your man.

The sensation felt too much.

He pulls you against him, hands clutching your hips.

The water falling over you both, a warmth that shuts out the world.

You forget about everything.

Except him.

“You’re so beautiful…” he hums.

Lips brushed against your ear, naked chest pressing against yours, and his warm baritone makes your stomach flutter, eyes getting dilated.

“I wanna you feel good.” he purrs.

You huff, gripping his naked chest, nails digging into his skin.

His rough hands slide under your shirt, lifting it slowly, taking his time and making you impatient.

His hands roamed all over your body, gripping you wherever he wanted, and he finally tossed the shirt aside

It landed on the floor.

Leaving you bare for him.

The sudden exposure makes you shy, a flush warming your cheeks as you look away. Even after years of your relationship with him, the shyness never really faded.

But his gaze was unwavering, filled with so much adoration and love.

Your insecurities were gone.

“tae…” you whisper.

“You make me feel so…so seen.”

The words were vulnerable, and he responds with a hungry kiss, lips insistent, all tongue and teeth, claiming your mouth.

Almost like a feral animal taking his place.

The intensity made your knees weak as you cling to him while he practically eats your mouth.

The taste of him—clean, with a hint of the chocolate syrup from breakfast—flooding your senses, and you moan uncontrollably in his mouth.

“Mmm, tae…”

He swallows all your sounds with his tongue, his hands find your breasts, weighing them in his hands, loving the weight of them.

He always bragged about how your tits were the perfect size for him.

Made for his hands specifically.

His thumbs brushed over your nipples, hardening them instantly under the touch, and the sensation was almost electric, a jolt of pleasure that goes straight to your pussy.

Your clit throbbing in need.

“Hah… oh, tae!”

You gasped, arching and pressing your breasts closer to him.

He groans lowly, thumbs connecting to your nipples, and he pinches your nipples lightly, rolling them between his fingers.

“Mhm, oh…oh…please—”

The combination of pain and pleasure made you pant.

“You’re always so sensitive… mm... I love it, baby.” he murmurs.

His lips brush against your collarbone while continuing to tease your nipples.

Water streamed over both of you, amplifying the sensation, the water acting like a slickness that leaves your mouth parted in ecstasy.

The water droplets slide down your skin, between your breasts, and Taehyung snarls at the sight.

Chasing the droplets with his tongue.

He finally decides to give you a bit of relief, taking one nipple into his mouth, sucking gently, tongue flicking it in fast motions.

“Nghh, taehyung!” You cry out.

The wet heat of his mouth and tongue was almost overwhelming, your thighs trembled, pussy growing slick with arousal.

Your hands, desperate for him, slides down his body, tracing the hard planes of his chest and abs.

He exhales, humming his approval against your nipples, the vibrations have you trembling.

Your hand soon reaches for his cock, already hard and heavy against his thigh.

You wrap your hand around him, fingers barely meeting from his thickness, and you revel in his hardness.

His head fell back, the noises escaping unrestrained.

“Fuck my love,” he pants.

Hips bucking into your hand.

“You drive me crazy.”

You start stroking him slowly, your own chest heaving with shaky breaths, feeling the throb of him, water washing away the precum bedding out of him.

Your mouth waters with want.

Your clit pulsing in time with your strokes, an ache that you try to ignore by pressing your thighs together.

Seeking relief.

“You’re so hard…” you coo.

Your voice shy but laced with need and he growls, hands gripping your ass and pulling you flush against his chest.

Your bare tits pressing onto his hard chest, you let out a whimper.

“I want you,” he gruffs.

Eyes meeting yours burning with a love so intense, you struggle to breathe.

“My baby, I’m gonna miss this—miss you—every fucking second.”

The words a confession full of raw pain, and you feel your tears mingling with the water streaming down your body.

“I’m gonna wait for you… I swear.” you sob.

Your hand still working his cock, and your other arm wrapped around his neck, holding him close.

Your promise settled on his chest until he feels desperate again, tongue entering your mouth, biting and sucking your bottom lip.

All while he fucks your fist, hips bucking.

His hand fisted your hair, and you whine, letting him take whatever he wants from you.

Taehyung’s hands roam all over your body, every curve, every dip.

As if he's memorizing you.

Your slick now dripping on the floor, and with each brush of his finger, the ache seemed to increase, and it was almost painful.

You didn’t want teasing.

Not today.

Not when the time was running out so fast.

“tae, I need you.” you begged.

He nods, eyes darkening with a promise.

His own patience running out, not wanting to waste even a second with you.

“Not here, princess,” he rasps, gently.

“I want you in our bed, where I can take my time with you… wanna make every moment worth it.”

He turns off the shower, grabs a fluffy towel, wrapping you in it, hands gentle but possessive as he dries you off.

His lips brushing your skin with every moment, and you lean against the wall, lips parted.

Savoring his attention.

۶ৎ

Taehyung picks you up in bridal style, naked and you clutch his shoulder.

Your heart pounded with the adoration he stares at you with, he starts walking, reaching the bedroom, both your bodies still wet and dripping from the shower.

He gently lays you down on the bed, your heart racing as you look up at him.

He hovers above you, one hand propped beside your head, his presence and your need causing goosebumps all over your skin.

“My love,” he breathes.

“I wanna worship you today. Every inch of you—I want it all to be mine.”

Devotion in his words.

You swallow hard, shyness making your cheeks flush, but his gaze holds you to him.

Taking away your instinct to hide.

“taehyung,” you tremble.

“I’m yours.”

You declare, like always, his eyes softening before he presses his lips to yours once again.

The kiss starting slow, his mouth moving against yours with a hunger.

He deepened the kiss, making you let out needy noises on his mouth, his teeth scraping your lower lip, your fingers curling into the sheets as you arch into him.

“Mhhh, Tae…” you moan, softly.

He pulls back, breath hot, looking at you with dark eyes.

Eyes gazing all over your naked body, drinking you in, his stare felt like a physical touch.

“I could spend forever just kissing you, but I need more.”

You pant as he begins his descent downwards, lips trailing over your jaw to your sensitive neck, sucking gently.

A gasp left your mouth.

A faint hickey left on your skin.

The sensation was a delicious sting, your toe curling.

You felt exposed, still slightly wet breasts rising and falling with your quickened breaths, and a groan leaves his mouth.

His eyes taking you in.

“Perfect,” he rasps, in awe.

“Absolutely goddamn perfect for me.”

His hands cupped them just like he did moments before in the bathroom, but he doesn’t make you ache anymore.

He smirks wickedly, at your neediness.

A knowing curve on his lips.

Lowering his mouth to your breast, taking one nipple in his mouth, harshly, a lot rougher and hungrier.

“Oh, Taehyung!” you cry out.

Fingers tangled in his damp hair, tugging.

His teeth grazed your nipple, enough to make you gasp out, body shuddering with his attention to your breasts.

“Please… please!” Your breath shakes.

Hips shifting against the sheets.

“It feels so good.”

He moves to the other breast, grazing your nipple with his teeth while pinching the other neglected one.

You're a squirming mess for him.

“Fuck,” he chuckles, darkly.

Pulled away from your now overly sensitive breasts, from his torment.

“I love the noises you make for me, darling…”

His kisses trailed lower, slow and taking his time as he places kisses over the smooth skin on your stomach.

Lips lingering on your navel, tongue licking a stripe.

The ticklish feeling making you squeak.

And you let out a giggle despite the heat building inside you.

The sound draws a deep chuckle from him.

He glances up at you, eyes sparkling with love.

“I love that sound too,” he says.

Thumb brushing over your thigh.

“I’m gonna miss every part of you, love, every bit of your noises along with your happy ones.”

The reminder made your grin fade, the sadness taking over.

But it doesn’t last long.

His fingers start brushing against your folds, slow and teasing. He parts you gently to reveal your glistening pussy.

He uses the pads of his thumb, exposing you completely, baring the throbbing nub between your legs.

His fingers grazed your inner thighs, and you whine, slickness dropping more.

Shyness forgotten at the back of your mind from being so vulnerable in front of him, only needing relief.

You’re already too wet, pussy slick with arousal, clit needing his touch.

He paused, eyes fixing on you, and you gulp.

“Look at you,” he grunts.

“So wet for me already.”

His hand cupped your entire mound, fingers exploring your cunt, gathering your slick

“Tae… please.” you whimper.

Hips bucked towards him, seeking more.

He hums darkly, his gravel voice sending a shiver down your spine as he starts to circle your clit with his thumb.

Your hands fisting the sheets tightly, brows furrowing.

“So needy… just like a naughty girl,” he grits out.

“Don’t worry, sweet girl. I'm gonna give you everything you deserve.”

After all the teasing.

He finally presses his mouth to you.

The first touch of his tongue against your clit felt like a shock of pleasure, your hips lifted off the bed with a cry leaving your mouth.

“Hahh hah, tae—”

Your hands bunching the sheets around you, feeling dizzy with the wet heat of his tongue on your sensitive clit.

He starts sucking your clit, quickly and mercilessly, until you are shaking.

He hums against you, the vibration sending sparks of pleasure through you, and you're uttering nonsense right now.

Voice unrestrained.

“Oh God, taee.”

Your fingers griped his hair, hips tightly closing around his head but he holds you open with ease.

Your strength nothing compared to his.

He continues worshipping you with his mouth.

His tongue switched patterns, alternating from flat licks to your clit to occasional sucks that make your thighs tremble.

The obscene sounds filling the room—wet noises from his mouth, mixing with slick and his own soft groans, while tasting you.

“You taste so fucking good, I can eat this little pussy forever.” he growls.

Voice muffled in your pussy and you sob, hips rocking on his mouth instinctively.

His fingers soon join his tongue, sliding inside you with an ease and the sudden stretch has you letting out a scream.

Overwhelmed.

He curls them instantly, trying to find that spot inside you that makes you cry for him, his favorite music.

You start seeing stars behind your vision.

He thrusts his fingers in time with the movement of his tongue.

The dual sensation was too much

Too much all at once.

The wet heat of his tongue and his thick fingers fucking you in fast motions has you calling out his name constantly.

He groans against you like he’s the one being pleasured.

“Nghh, Tae, I’m fuck—I’m close.”

You quivered.

Thighs clamped tighter around his head, the pressure building in your stomach, ready to snap any moment

He doesn’t let up.

His tongue worked your clit, fingers thrusting faster, hitting that sweet spot every time, and it felt like torture to you.

A delicious torture.

“Come for me, princess,” he hisses.

Lips brushing your clit as he speaks.

“I want to feel you fall apart.”

The orgasm hits you, body convulsed, a broken scream leaving you.

“taehyung! oh god, taehyung!”

Your loud moans filling the room as your pussy clenches around his fingers, clit pulsing wildly against his tongue.

The sensation makes your body tremble uncontrollably, your grip on the sheets keeping you from falling apart.

He doesn’t stop.

His tongue gentle, still lapping at you, drawing out your pleasure until you’re letting out breathy sobs.

Oversensitive and breathless.

“It’s too much, please—”

You plead.

Hands tugging at his hair.

He finally pulls back, lips and chin glistening with your arousal, the sight made your pussy clench, despite your orgasm.

He crawls up your body, capturing your mouth in a possessive kiss.

The taste of yourself on his tongue makes you moan, gripping his hair once again.

A reminder of how thoroughly he’s claimed you.

“I love you.” you whimper against his lips.

“Love you too… my baby.”

Forehead rested against yours.

You cling to him, body still trembling as you press a kiss on his sweaty chest.

Your heart close to bursting.

You lie there, his arms wrapped around you, breathless and spent, the sheets damp beneath you with your release.

A proof of how he unraveled you so easily.

Your eyes fell to the clock, and your nails dig into his chest.

No matter how much you try to forget about what's about to come and enjoy the moment.

It's not possible.

Taehyung senses it, pulling you tighter to him.

His lips brushed your ear.

“This is just the beginning. I'm gonna spend all day today showing you how much you mean to me.”

۶ৎ

In the afternoon, you both are in the living room.

The air filled with jazz playing, a romantic song creating an intimate atmosphere.

A music genre that Taehyung always loved.

You both were enjoying each other's presence after having lunch, every detail of the day felt heightened.

As if the world had slowed.

To savor these last hours with Taehyung.

The weight of what's gonna happen tomorrow still there.

But for now.

There's only him—his presence, his touch on your body and love for you.

You’re standing in the center of the living room, bare feet. Taehyung standing across from you, intense eyes locking with yours

Your breath catches and you look away, a shy grin tugging at your lips.

“My love,”

“Dance with me.”

The command was soft, cheeks flushing as you hesitate, fingers twisting your shirt nervously.

But he steps closer, taking your hand in his big calloused ones, holding your soft small ones.

Protectively.

He pulls you into his arms, hand settling on his chest, and his hand grabbed your waist.

The other hand guiding your hand to his shoulder.

You felt the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm, looked up at him, your own heart pounding, and eyes glistening.

You sway together.

The music helped with the slow movement of his hips against yours, breath warm against your temple, his lips brushing the sensitive skin there.

You purred unknowingly, and you felt his smile without seeing it.

In that moment it felt like the world disappeared.

Only the two of you existing.

His hand slides lower, fingers laying across the small of your back, pressing you closer.

The moment innocent and romantic, but the hunger between you was palpable.

Wanting to feel each other all the time.

Before everything ends.

The friction of his pants against your bare thighs felt maddening, a tease that made your pussy pulse.

Even though he made you come just a few hours ago.

His hard cock pressed against you, and your breathing turns shaky.

“tae…”

Your eyes flickering up to meet his and the raw emotion there make your knees weak.

Love, desperation, hunger.

He doesn’t respond with words, only a low guttural hum left him, dipping his head to capture your lips in a tender kiss.

His lips soft yet demanding, wanting to take as much as he can from you.

It felt familiar.

In a way, you know where he does it when he's needy for you.

The taste of him, flooding your senses.

You melted into him.

Your fingers fisting the fabric of his shirt.

The kiss deepens, his tongue sliding into your mouth, exploring you, something that he has been doing the entire day, almost as if he wants to etch your taste in his memory.

Still, it makes your head spin.

His hands begin to roam, one sliding up to cup the back of your neck, the other slipping beneath your shirt to caress your bare skin.

You gasp into his mouth, body arching towards him.

The dance forgotten.

Music faded in the background, both getting distracted by each other.

Once again.

“I can't get enough of you, baby.” he rasps, against your lips.

His words laced with an urgency that makes your heart pulse.

He pulls back enough to look at you.

“I need you. Right fucking now.”

Your breath hitched, restriction fading at the fire his words.

“Yea…”

The word was simple, but he hears the plea in it.

His lips curve into an almost predatory smile, and before you can process it, he’s moving with an urgency.

He presses you against the wall, the wall cool against your back, pressing himself against you, pinning you in place.

His hands are everywhere, tugging the shirt up and over your head in one quick motion, leaving you bare before him.

You didn’t bother to wear any bra and panties because he was busy taking your clothes off everywhere, at anytime.

And he always loved it when you remain bare for him.

The cool air raised goosebumps all over your body as he takes you in, never getting enough.

His hands start tracing the swell of your breasts, the dip of your waist.

Always taking his time exploring.

“I wanna see all of you… my beautiful girl.”

You tremble, lips parting on a shaky breath.

His mouth later finds your breasts, sucking and biting the nipple to his liking, switching breasts faster than you can keep track of.

Supplying both of them with his attention.

Your back arched off the wall.

“Oohh, Tae”

His obsession with your breasts never ending.

“I can never get enough of these tits” he grunts.

Your knees get weak, when he finally pulls back, your nipples completely coated with his saliva, and you whimper at the sight of him.

So commanding.

So utterly devoted to you.

“I wanna taste you everywhere” he groans.

He was about to kneel before you on the floor, but you stop him, a sudden urge overtaking your shyness.

A need to give as much as you’re receiving.

“taehyung…” you breathe, determined.

“Let me… Let me please you, please.”

His eyes widen slightly, soon turning into a smirk. He straightens, hands resting on your hips and nods, eyes never leaving yours.

“Anything for you, sweet girl.”

His voice thick with anticipation.

Now you are the one sinking to your knees before him on the floor.

Your hands tremble, reaching for his sweatpants, and you tug them down slowly, your breath catching as his cock springs free.

It's thick and heavy, tip glistening with precum, and the sight makes your mouth water.

Your pussy clenching.

You wrap your fingers around the base, marveling at the weight and it throbs for you, veins visible.

A low groan left Taehyung.

“Darling,” he exhales.

“Look at you, so eager for me.”

His hands cupped the back of your head, fingers fisting your hair.

Not pushing but guiding.

A gentle encouragement.

You leaned forward, lips brushing the tip, his salty taste filling your senses.

You moan softly, the sound vibrating against him, making him curse.

His grip on your hair tightened.

You finally take him into your mouth, tongue swirling around the head before you slide down taking him deeper.

The stretch was intense, tears welling in your eyes from the sheer size of him, the weight of him making you sputter as you try to breathe through your nose.

You hollow your cheeks, sucking gently, and he groans, hips twitching forward.

“That’s it,” he growls.

“Such a good girl. Look at you, taking my cock so well.”

You whine against him.

“Fuck, keep doing that”

You bobbed your head, setting a rhythm, hand working what you cannot take inside your mouth, making gagging noises, which encourages him further.

His pleasing noises make you squeeze your thighs together, tears spilling down your cheeks.

The taste of him grows stronger as he spills more precum on your tongue and you savor it hungrily.

Your other hand cup his heavy balls, fondling and massaging them, to your liking, and he hisses.

His hips start to move, fucking your mouth with quick thrusts.

Taking what he wants from you.

“Oh God, your mouth feels like heaven.” he rasps.

Voice filled with awe and desperation.

His words spur you on and you take him deeper into your mouth, trying to relax your throat in order to fight the urge to gag.

The way he fills you so completely.

Taking over you.

You don’t stop, driven by the need to make him feel as cherished as he makes you feel, how he always puts your needs before his, when he deserved to be pleasured as well.

He’s close, you can tell—his breathing turns heavy, thrusts erratic, cock twitching against your tongue.

“You’re gonna make me come,” he warns.

“You want it, baby? Want me to come in this pretty mouth of yours?”

You nod as best as you can, your needy noises expressing your request for him to let go.

Your mouth worked faster.

And he finally lets out a strained groan, spilling in your mouth, hips stuttering.

The taste was overwhelming.

You swallow every drop, some of his release dripping down your chin, but you lick them like a good girl.

Licking the excess fluid off his cock.

Cleaning every single drop.

Trembling above you as he comes down, fingers stroking your hair, his eyes half lidded and jaw clenched.

He pulls you to your feet immediately, kissing you hungrily, tasting himself on your tongue.

“You’re incredible,” he breathes.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Before you can deny him, his hands are on you again, lifting you effortlessly, legs wrapping around his waist and he presses you back against the wall.

Your chest heaved with your pants from his manhandling, the strength in his arms.

“I need to be inside you,” he growls.

“now.”

His cock hard again, or maybe it never softened.

It finds your cunt like a magnet, pressing against your slick folds like it's meant to be there and you whimper, core aching with need.

He doesn’t tease, doesn’t make you wait.

Knowing time was running out.

He lines himself up to your slit, thrusting into you in one smooth motion, filling you up and you forget to breathe.

“Gahhh, shit! taehyung!”

The stretch burned, but the pain soon mixes with pleasure, your head falling back against the wall.

He groans at the feel of your cunt clenching around him, forehead falling against yours.

“You're so tight and warm, my love.” his voice breaks.

“so damn good”

He starts to move, thrusting deep, yet quick, each one hitting that spot inside you, making you tremble in his arms.

Your body losing strength to hold yourself up, only supported by his arms, knowing he won't ever let you fall.

Trusting him with everything.

His powerful hands supported you, anchoring you to him, fucking you with a desperation that matches your own.

You call out his name, voice high and broken, nails raking down his back, leaving red, burning scratches all over his skin.

The sound of you both going at it drowns out the jazz still playing in the background.

Your breasts bounce with each thrust, his tongue exploring your mouth almost matching with the motion of his thrusts.

All your loud moans and whimpers swallowed by his mouth.

“Mhmm, ahnnn.” you gasp, on his mouth.

Your noises encouraging him further to fuck you stupid against the wall.

“You’re mine.”

His palm lands a sharp spank on your bouncing ass and you let out a startled scream, his hips snapping.

Harder and faster.

“Say it, baby. Tell me you're mine.”

His voice possessive and angry, but there's also a hint of vulnerability.

A need for reassurance, making your heart ache.

He was overthinking.

“I’m yours tae!” you chant, voice breaking.

“Always, always only yours”

The words pushed him over the edge, hands bruising your ass while he pounds you to his liking.

You bite his shoulder to ground yourself, pussy clenching around his cock constantly, as the pressure builds.

“Come on,” he commands.

“I wanna feel you come on my cock like a good slut.”

His hands slips between you, fingers finding your clit like an expert, rubbing tight, quick circles, and you see stars.

“Ah, oh, fuck, fuck—”

You felt dizzy, head swimming as the pleasure makes you shatter so fast.

“Gosh, taehyung!”

Voice raw, pussy pulsing around him, milking his cock as you come.

He follows moments later, letting out an animal growl, cock pulsing, and he finally spills inside you, filling you to the brim.

His release warm inside you, making you shudder against him, biting his chest needily.

“Damn it.” he pants.

His thrusts slow and gentle now, drawing out the aftershocks until you are squirming in his arms, tears brimming your eyes.

He holds there, pinned to the wall, cock softening inside you.

You both cling to each other, a tangled mess of sweaty bodies not caring about anything but each other.

The room quiet now except for both your ragged breaths, the jazz playing in the background and the romantic song matching both your current state.

“I will miss you,” he whispers, voice choked.

“I’m gonna miss you every day.”

You cling to him, face burying in his shoulder, a few tears leaving you.

“I love you, tae,” you whimper

“I promise.”

The weight of tomorrow presses, heavily.

But for now.

You hold each other, everything else forgotten, every fear in the back of your minds.

Love the only thing existing.

۶ৎ

The night felt endless, raw desire and pained love filling the bedroom with heat.

The air heavy with the scent of sweat and arousal, your shared smell, the sheets tangled messily, soaking with dampness, clinging to both of your skin.

The only sounds—creak of the bed, skin slapping against skin along with your pleased noises, and his rough breathings.

The clock ticked on the nightstand.

A devastation.

Counting down the hours until Taehyung was gone.

But in this moment, time felt like an enemy, each touch and moan felt like you both wanted to hold it against the coming separation.

Taehyung was possessed with wild feral need, a beast with relentless energy, on a mission to unravel you and test your limits.

His dark hair was a sweaty mess clinging to his forehead, eyes were feral with a mix of rage, hunger, and love.

His muscles flexed with every movement of his, unbeatable strength driving him further into ruining you.

His cock standing proudly, hard and leaking precum, thrashing despite using it several times now.

And the breath leaves your lungs, shocked at his crazed need to own you.

Never getting enough of you.

Your pussy clenched with a need that feels almost painful, core swollen from all it has endured, but the slickness dripping out of you said otherwise.

Wanting him for the last time before morning arrives.

And everything ends.

“Mhnmm,” he growls.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard tonight, you’ll feel me for weeks… mm, you’ll feel me every time you sit or walk.”

Your stomach knots under his gaze, he looks at you all over, memorizing all your trembles and reactions completely.

The intensity makes you feel exposed yet treasured in a way that has your lips parted trying to breathe as much as you can.

You’re spread across the bed, skin flushed with slick and sweat. Your thighs slick with arousal, the cool air making your pussy throb with an ache.

Your cunt sensitive from hours of his touch, yet you crave more.

Always craving more.

Your breasts felt tender and way too painfully sensitive, nipples hardened from the night's earlier attentions, along with your swollen reddened lips from his relentless kisses and makeouts.

“Hnn tae,” you mewled.

“Take me, please…”

He doesn’t hesitate, movements quick, crawling over you and his lips crash against yours, tonguing your mouth.

His arousal clinged to your tongue as well, and all of it mixing together to make a lewd taste.

That has you both moaning.

Your hands clawed at his shoulders, nails scraping the already marked skin from earlier actions, making him hiss.

“This pussy is dripping for me, begging for my cock…”

“You’re gonna take my cock like a good naughty girl, hmm? Want me to fill you up, make you scream… yeah?”

His dirty words make you pant and you nod, breath hitching as he grips your wrists, pinning them above your head with one large hand.

The restraint has your body arch towards him, instinctively, body completely in control of him.

Turning you on further.

His fingers caress your soaked folds, parting them, sliding through your slickness, gathering them and teasing your slit.

You let out a whiny sigh, thighs parting further for him.

“tae… baby, please, I need you.”

The endearment for him rushes out of your mouth, a rare nickname for him that rarely slips out of you, due to your shyness.

And it makes him growl, satisfied, instantly rewarding you by plunging two of his thick fingers inside you.

“Hahh, gosh!” you moan.

He starts scissoring his fingers, stroking your spot and you are a mess, writhing against the bed, hips starting to rock against him at the motion of his thrusts.

“Yes, yes, yes, oh.”

You chant.

Your noises spilled out unconsciously, trying to quiet yourself as he works you open for him.

“That’s it, love”

Eyes fixed on your face, taking in all your reactions, making sure to go along with it, knowing exactly what you like, like the back of his hand.

“Don’t hold back, sweet girl,” he coaxes you.

“let everyone know how much you love my fingers in your tight little pussy… how it greedily sucks me in.”

His thumb finds your clit, circling it and your body jerks towards him.

His lips fall on your collarbone, leaving marks everywhere, sucking the marked skin from earlier, turning them purple.

Making sure the marks last you for weeks.

A reminder of him every time you look at a mirror, his love tattooed to your skin.

“taehyung, please… ohh, stop—stop teasing me! I need you—you inside me.”

You struggle to speak between your moans, voice breaking.

He groans, withdraws his fingers out of you with a wet squelch, bringing them to his mouth.

The sight of him licking your arousal off his fingers—eyes locked on yours, tongue slow as he savors each drop—makes you grind on his thigh, humping him like a bunny in heat, whimpers sputtering out of you.

Shame and shyness at the back of your mind.

Nothing makes sense to you anymore.

All you wanted was him and the connection.

“Shhh, don’t be such a dirty slut, baby.”

He rasps, steadying your moving thighs, stopping you from relief, and you pout.

“I could eat you the whole night, but I need to be inside you.” he exclaims, roughly.

Positioning himself between your legs, keeps your legs spread and without warning, he penetrates you.

Burying himself with a fast, brutal thrust.

“Oh my god, Taehyung, fuck!” you scream.

He grunts, beginning to move at a fast pace.

Pounding you or ruining you.

You couldn’t understand.

He reached such depths inside you, you didn’t know existed, almost reaching your stomach and your wails came out freely.

“Fuck, this cunt is all mine, yeah? made for my cock…”

He laughs darkly, a sex demon in his place and you almost couldn’t recognize him, hand fisting the sheets, burying your face in them.

“Fucking answer me, slut!”

He lashes out, fingers finding your clit and pinching it hard and you let out a scream, soon turning into a sob.

“Yes, yes, only yours, tae, too much.” you hiccup.

He hums his approval, bed shaking beneath you, the headboard hitting the wall with each of his thrusts.

His cock hits that spot inside you with every thrust, a torture that has your toes curling, breasts bouncing for his eyes.

You moaned, hips automatically pulling away from the pleasure, not understanding whether you want more or it's too much.

“Don’t run, baby…”

Gripping your wrists tighter, pinning you in place.

“Mhhh—you love this, don’t you? love being stretched to your limits?”

His hips puncturing each of his words inside you and you let out a sob at his words, body arching to meet his, hand gripping wherever you can on his body.

He releases your wrists, griped your hips instead, fingers digging into the flesh hard enough to leave bruises.

He angles you to take him deeper, thrusts growing more forceful and the sound of skin slapping against skin gets louder, his grunts escaping along with your mindless noises.

“I love you,” he signs.

“Shit, I can’t—I hate leaving you like this. I wanna stay here, fucking you, loving you forever...”

His anger can be heard in his words, thrusts turning angry, a glare etched his eyebrows.

“I love you, tae.”

“always—gahh hahhh—”

He leans down, capturing a nipple in his mouth, teeth grazing it.

The dual sensation—his cock pounding into you, mouth on your breast—too much.

You cannot take it.

“Come for me, darling. Show me how much you love my cock.”

His own voice strained.

His words pushed you over the edge and you shatter, orgasm breaking through you and you scream loudly in between your sobs.

“tae! mmphhh, nooo.”

Your pussy pulsed and clenched on him, his hips faltering.

He doesn’t stop.

Doesn’t give you a moment to recover.

He pulls out and the sudden emptiness has you whimpering, but he's already flipping you onto your stomach, hands rough and urgent.

“On your knees.” he barks.

You obey, body trembling and controlled by him, sensing his anger.

All this will soon be over in a few hours.

You lifted your hips, ass presenting to him, pussy gaping after being stretched, giving him a good view of your insides and your release dripping out, folds swollen.

Your tight ring just above clenching pathetically, slicked as well.

“Goddamnit!” he growls.

You jump at how unrestrained and possessed he seemed right now, both of you wild and feeling madness overtake.

His hands grip your cheeks, spreading you open more, taking a good look at your bottom, your both holes.

You let out a trembling whimper, hiding your face in the sheets, overtaken by shame, but your hips still rocked towards him.

Wanting him.

“Such pretty holes for me. You're going to take me so good, mhmm?” he breathes.

He thrusts into you again, the new angle getting him a lot deeper than expected.

“Ahh, tae, too much—too—”

Your voice cracks, hands fisting the sheets, burying your face in them and biting on a pillow, trying to ground yourself.

Almost tearing the fabric in the process.

His hips slam against your ass, eyes fixed on your bouncing ass and the way his cock plunges in and out of your sopping pussy.

Coated with your arousal.

A sight that will be a permanent thing in his memory for the lonely nights in the military.

He trembles, his own moans leaving as he continues drilling into you, balls slapped against your clit with every thrust, sending jolts of painful pleasure into you.

Your body instinctively moves away, his fingers quickly grabbing a handful of your hair, pulling you to meet his thrusts and the pain along with pleasure has you letting out cries.

Your throat aching from the constant noises.

“Ah, you’re my girl for sure.” he praises.

He reached around, palming your pussy, tapping your clit with his fingers a few times, enough to make you scream.

“taehyung. taehyung. taehyung”

You call out his name repetitively, mindless, only capable of uttering his name.

“I’m gonna, ahhah, come again.”

He grunts, thrusts growing erratic, control leaving him.

“Do it, baby, let me feel you fall apart for me once again”

You scream, vision going white, coming once again, losing count of how many orgasms you've had in a day.

Your body hurt, achy core swollen, body falling limp onto the bed.

He follows you soon, his groan primal, cock pulsing, spilling inside you, filling you up until it hurts.

A pain you welcomed.

“Fuck” he pants.

He collapses onto you, his weight heavy and making you feel secure, breath hot against your neck.

“You’re everything”

Your body still shook, which he tries to soothe by lovingly caressing your back.

But he’s not done.

The night still there, a need still wanting to be quenched.

He pulls out, making you whimper and he flips you onto your back again, eyes dark.

“I need more,” he growls.

“You know I won’t stop until you say the safe word, love…”

His words final and he spreads your legs, eyes locking onto your pussy, dripping with his release mixed with yours and he snarls loudly at the sight.

Your body weak as your toes curled, almost like you're preparing yourself for the long night ahead.

He leans down, not being able to help himself, tongue capturing the little overstimulated bud that has been palpitating needily.

Your body jerked.

“Hnnngg! tae, please, I can't anymore—”

You sniffed, tears streaming but he didn’t listen, tongue collecting both of your arousals mixed together, humming at the taste, sucking until you let out a broken wail.

Your mouth parted, drool spilling onto the sheets.

Your thighs shook around his head and he finally decides to give you a break, letting you breathe.

He slowly faces you, lips glistening, kissing you, sucking onto your bottom lip, letting you taste the combination.

“I’m so angry I have to leave you.”

His words were angry as you see his nostrils flare, and you grip onto his hair, sucking his tongue needily.

“Come back to me soon, tae… come home.”

Still struggling to speak from your intense orgasms, you could feel your heart breaking, a feeling that was more painful than anything.

Home.

A word that he knew was only associated with you.

Home was where you are.

“always... my precious girl.”

His eyes locked onto yours and the endearment of his words, the connection between the two of you had tears streaming down your eyes, his own tears mixing with yours.

Him not being able to stay strong any further. You cling to each other, never wanting to let go.

Hating the universe for separating you both

۶ৎ

The night continues in a rush of different positions, each one more desperate than the other.

He takes you on your side, one leg hooked over his shoulder, cock hitting deep.

You also ride his cock, which turned into him fucking you against the headboard, your back pressed against the wood.

Your screams and cries echoed through the night, filling the room along with his occasional groans and ragged breaths.

By dawn, you both were spent.

The room heavy with the scent of sex.

You collapsed together, naked and tangled, bodies no longer able to move, drained of all its energy.

۶ৎ

The morning light hits you through the bedroom window, unforgiving, the reality of what's about to happen sinking in.

The tangled, damp sheets clings to both of you, the faint red marks on your body and his, from the passion and roughness of last night.

The air still thick with the obscene smell of sweat and sex from what you and Taehyung shared.

Your body ached intensely, each muscle raw and painful from hours of lovemaking.

But it doesn’t compare to the pain in your heart.

A wound that's threatening to break you completely.

You stirred, fighting against the exhaustion, and the first thing you feel was that Taehyung's still inside you.

His cock, now softened but heavy, remains nestled deep inside your pussy, a connection that felt like a lifeline in this moment.

He didn’t want to let you go.

So he stayed inside while you were unconscious in tiredness, asleep.

The sensation was overwhelming—binding you together physically as if that can even stop what's about to happen soon.

Your walls pulse softly around him, still sensitive from the night's intensity, each flutter on your oversensitive core, sending you gasping.

The warmth of him inside you grounded you, reminding you of the way he claimed you.

Just an hour ago.

You’re sprawled across his chest, cheek pressed against his hard muscle, his heartbeat lulling you.

His skin was still slightly slicked with sweat and you look up at him, watching him sleep so peacefully, the sight bringing fresh tears to your eyes.

His lips slightly parted, skin flushed, in that moment he looked so innocent, so peaceful, away from all the worries in the world, just resting, something so rare.

A sight you will lose for long months.

You placed a soft kiss on his chest, just below his nipple, tasting the saltiness of his sweat.

The cockwarming felt more than physical—a refusal to let go even in sleep.

Your pussy stretched and full and every breath you took shifts you slightly, causing him to press further into your inner walls.

Your breath hitched, a moan escaping.

It's not arousal, not exactly, your body was too spent for that.

But a deep, aching connection

A need to hold onto him in every possible way.

You felt vulnerable, heart breaking into pieces at the thought of losing this closeness. The sensation of being connected to him felt both comforting and torturous.

You pressed closer to him, fingers curling onto his chest.

As if you can keep him here.

Make him stay.

Taehyung’s arms are wrapped around you, one hand resting possessively on your hip, the other tangling in your hair as if he’s afraid to let go even in sleep.

His chest rising and falling with his breaths, but there’s a tension in his body.

You shift slightly, his cock twitching inside you and you let out a quiet whimper, body too tired to respond fully but you are too aware of him, so you cannot ignore it.

Your movement felt by him and he soon wakes, breath hitching as he realizes that it's morning now.

The thought settling over him like dread.

“Morning, sweet girl.” he murmurs.

His voice raspy and deep from sleep.

You knew he was trying to lighten your mood.

But it wasn’t working, it ached you further hearing his voice.

His lips brushed your forehead, lingering there, feeling his lips tremble, his emotions can be felt just from that simple touch alone.

His cock still inside you and he doesn’t move to pull out as if he were too clinging to the final moment of connection.

“So warm, so perfect around me… god, I don’t want to leave this—leave you.”

His voice almost breaking with his own pain, your chest tightened, throat constricting with unshed tears.

You tilt your head to meet his and the sight of his eyes—red rimmed along with exhaustion but still expressed so much love for you just with his eyes alone.

The stubble on his jaw gives him a rugged, almost broken beauty.

“tae” you breathe.

His face was blurry with the tears you cannot hold back anymore, buring your face in his chest, wanting to escape this moment so bad.

But his fingers grip your chin, turning your face to his, gaze intense, demanding the truth.

“I’m—I’m gonna miss you.” you confess, shakily.

His jaw clenched and you can see the flash of anger in his face—anger at the fact that he has to leave you, that you are crying.

He hates being the reason for your tears.

He feels like killing himself if that will stop you from crying, from hurting.

“Fuck this,” he spits out.

“I don’t want to go, baby. I can't—”

He swallows hard, brows furrowing in pain.

“I can't leave you like this, still wrapped around me, so mine... this is killing me.”

His hands tighten on your waist, fingers digging into your skin, with a desperate need to hold onto you.

You’re crying now, silent tears streamed down your face, he cups your face in his hand, thumbs brushing away your tears.

His tenderness making you cry harder.

His warm touch not enough to dull the grief you were facing.

“I’ll wait for you, tae. I promise, until you return.”

His eyes soften, but the anger still there.

“I’m coming back to you. Nothing, absolutely no fucking thing, will keep me from you… I swear it, hm?”

His hand holds you to him tightly, the movement causing his cock to shift inside you, you shudder against him.

He lets out a deep, tortured groan, forehead meeting yours.

“You’re my only girl.”

You whimper at his words, his endless love for you and how he makes you feel so important.

So needed.

“I want to stay like this forever.” he murmurs.

You nod, tears falling faster, he captures your lips, desperately, with a mix of sorrow.

His tongue claims your mouth with a hunger that makes your heart race, you kiss him back with equal fevor, fingers tangling in his hair, tugging hard enough to make him groan.

You feel him twitch inside you.

When he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, hands still cupping your face.

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself,” he commands.

“Eat properly, don’t skip meals. You know I don’t like it, yeah? and I need you strong and healthy, waiting for me… promise me, come on.”

His voice authoritative in a way that makes a small smile tug at your lips, a hushed chuckle leaving you that makes him smile in return.

Him always fussing over to take care of you in other days made you amused, tease him, but now it felt too wrong.

Too heartbreaking.

“I promise.” you tremble.

He nods, eyes searching yours, memorizing all your features for one last time.

“And sleep well.” he continues.

Voice almost pleading.

“Don’t stay up all night worrying about me, tiring yourself. If you’re not okay, I won’t be either… so be a good girl for me.”

You lean into his touch, tears soaking his skin.

“I’ll try,” you whimper.

“For you, I’ll try.”

He exhales shakily, pecking your lips.

“I love you.”

“You’re my reason. Don’t ever forget that.” he whispers.

Finally he moves, his cock slipping out of you, with a wet sound, you both gasp at the loss of him so suddenly after being full the entire night.

Leaving you hollow.

Your pussy gapes before clenching around nothing and you let out a whine, the sudden absence almost painful.

“I’m sorry, my love.” he croaks, hurt in his voice.

Kissing your nose, he helps you settle against the pillows, hands gentle but trembling.

The room already felt cold without his arms wrapped around you and you bite your bottom lip trying to hide a wail, pulling the sheets around your naked body.

A shield against the reality of his departure.

Taehyung stands, broad shoulder decorated with red marks from your nails, occurred from your desperation.

His skin holding your marks.

He moves to the dresser, pulling out the neatly folded military uniform that’s been waiting like a burden all week.

The olive green fabric was a sharp difference from the soft masculine clothes he usually wears and the contrast breaks your heart a little more.

He dresses with a quiet intensity as if getting ready for a war he doesn’t want to fight.

Being forced to do this.

The uniform hugs his muscles tightly and the sight of him in it was both breathtaking and devastating for you.

He looked like a soldier.

Strong and determined.

But the slump of his shoulders and his clenched jaw proved that he was breaking inside.

Shattering.

He catches you watching him, a flash of raw pain etches his features.

“Don’t look at me like that, princess,” he pleads.

“You’re making it harder.”

But he crosses the room in two strides, dropping to his knees beside the bed, hand reaching for yours.

He pressed your hands to his lips, kissing your knuckles with so much adoration you cannot breathe, his own hand shaking.

“I need you to be strong for me”

“Eat and sleep well. Do it for me, my love, because I'm coming back… and I need you whole when I do.”

“I will.” you sob, voice barely there.

He stands up, pulling you in his arms, capturing your lips in another kiss, this one softer and gentler, trying to savor you.

His hands cupped your face, thumbs wipe away your tears when his own are spilling.

The saltiness of both your tears being tasted and shared between you.

Last shared kiss.

One last time.

“I’ll write to you.�� he says.

Once he pulls back, voice fierce and determined.

“Every chance I get, and when I’m back. I’m never letting you again… you'll be mine forever.”

He stands, grabbing the duffel bag that’s been packed and waited by the door.

You follow him to the doorway, the sheets wrapped around your bare body, legs unsteady, each step aching your core from all it endured last night.

But it wasn’t enough to stop your cries, or the pain of him leaving you for so long.

He turned to you one last time, eyes burning with love and rage, his jaw ticking at how helpless he felt.

“I love you”

He breathes, rough hand coming up to caress your cheek one last time.

“always”

And then he’s gone.

Just like that.

The door closes behind him with a soft click, and you're left empty, all alone.

You collapsed to the floor, sobs leaving your mouth, freely now, no longer holding back as you poured out all your emotions.

Your pained cries echoing in the room, the empty room taunting you.

His scent still on your skin, his warmth in the sheets.

But it's never enough.

It's not him.

But it will be all you have left to cling to in the long months ahead, his love for you the only anchor.

Until he returns.

Back to your arms, but this time no world to pull you both apart.

────

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[seokminfilm]

i wanna try / vernon chwe

⭐ pairing vernon chwe x reader warnings non-idol au, fluff, very short, confession (?? they say 'i love you' for the first time but are alr dating), newly est. relationship, boyfriend vernon, kissing, face touching, pet names: vern (vernon), two (shy) idiots in love summary the first time you said "i love you" to vernon. lyr's notes double upload (help me it's 2am rn)!! missing my vernon era terribly atm its lowkey so sickening 💔anyways here's a tiny fic to try to mend my broken heart and sad vernon-less spirit LMAO now playing beanie / chezile word count 347 written for @kstrucknet

the night sky is clear as you and vernon sit on a bench, staring up at the starlit sky with a comfortable quietness between the two of you. in the month that you and vernon have been together, moments like this were often, moments where you and him would just bask in each other's presence without mumbling a word.

"you know, i'm so glad i met someone who thinks looking at the night sky is fun." you break the silence first, and vernon nods, spreading his legs just a little bit as he pushes his beanie further down on his head.

"people who don't think looking at the night sky is fun are boring people." vernon says simply, and you laugh, allowing yourself to lean your head on vernon's shoulder. you feel him go still for a moment, as if trying to rehearses what he's supposed to do. it's cute, seeing him so shy.

vernon lets his hand fall open, silently pleading for you to take it. you do as he wants, intertwining your fingers with his as he bounces your joined hands on his knee.

"what are you thinking about?" you ask softly. vernon just shrugs, shaking his head as he speaks again.

"i'm not very good at voicing my thoughts, but you...you make me want to try and get better at it." vernon says without warning, and your cheeks flare up as you let your eyes meet his. he looks at you with all the seriousness in the world, lips twitching with the ghost of a smile as he kisses the top of your forehead.

"vern, i...i love you." your heart says it before your head can think, and your eyes widen as your heart drops to your toes. vernon freezes mid-blink, the tips of his ears warming to a light red.

"i love you too. i always have." vernon tells you, gathering enough courage to bring his thumb to your lip as he strokes it softly. you grin under him, letting your eyes flutter shut as he meets you halfway, kissing your smiling lips.

[xavistarlight]

I knew to love would be to lose my mind

Pairing: Caleb x fem!reader

CW : ANGST, reader is most likely experiencing undiagnosed postpartum depression.

You sit on the couch completely zoned out, every once in a while bouncing the baby on your chest.

As you turn your head you look out the window a group of lively people that seem to be about your age, having the time of their lives.

You turn your focus back to the babygirl on your chest, smiling at her with tired eyes.

God it wasn’t supposed to end up this way, you weren’t supposed to be one of those moms who’s baby is there whole life.

Your train of thought broken as you hear a knock on the door

Placing your babygirl down in her pack and play you go to open the door.

There stands a charming, violet eyed man full of life, your husband Caleb.

His brightness usually shining and brightening your light now blew your light bulb completely out stripping it of its already dim light.

He engulfs you in a hug

“ hi honey, you been okay today?“ he asks sweetly

“Mhm, same as always Caleb.” You say a little snippy pulling away from his hug.

It wasn’t right, you knew it he was the perfect partner, the perfect father , the perfect support system you had no right to be mad at him. But you couldn’t help but resent him he had it all he got to continue with his career, he wasnt stressed, the baby loved him. He juggled it all with a big bright smile on his face.

A part of you wanted him to fuck up so bad, god could he mess up at something anything just a reminder that he was human, that he was in the same boat as you.

You two now lay in bed snuggled close to one another as you feel something hard pressing into you

You flip over quickly startling Caleb who was dozing off.

He then looks down even more startled.

“Pips I’m so sorry, I didn’t even know let me go take care of it” he give you a boyish grin but as he gets up to move you place your hand on his shoulder.

“ or.. I could help you with it”

“ honey, there’s no pressure you know what the doctor said just a little longer I miss you to but we gotta wait” he says kissing your cheek

That’s when you break, you just break all of your emotions you’ve held inside come out.

“ are you fucking kidding me” you stare at him blankly

“ so now I can’t even be intimate with my husband right, what the fuck can I do” you chuckle to yourself

“ honey that’s not-“ Caleb tries to say something but you cut him off

“ no, don’t even Caleb it’s true I don’t do anything right I’m a failure, I’m a failure at being a mother , a wife , a hunter at everything”

Caleb grabs your hand his violet eyes holding so much emotion trying to get through to you

“ baby, don’t say that our daughter absolutely adores you, and you’re the light of my life and the greatest hunter I’ve ever known. It’s tough I know I have my moments to-“

You let out a condescending chuckle

“easy for you to say, you’ve never failed at anything. I’ve known you my entire life and if I counted the time you failed it could probably fit on one finger, so don’t feed that bullshit to me Caleb, like I don’t know you”

Caleb goes to say something again but you cut him off angrily

“ god you know what Caleb get out”

He looks at you shocked how had the conversation escalated this far.

“ baby, I don’t understand?”

“ I HATE you Caleb what is there to not understand I RESENT YOU I resent you with all my being. I wish I’d never MET YOU.”

“ pipsqueak, you don’t mean that” he says going to hold your hand again tears welling in his eyes.

“ no Caleb I mean it , I love you but I hate you all in the same breath, I’m losing my mind I can’t take it anymore!” you pull your hand back tears streaming down your face either out of anger or sadness you can’t tell maybe the latter.

Caleb’s heart shatters into pieces, he was bringing you all this pain? This whole time he was trying to help but your heart was aching with an unfixable crack. And it wouldn’t heal until he was gone.

so he agreed, he got up silently packing a bag of necessities as you sat and watched an unreadable expression on your face.

As he’s about to walk out the door of your shared room he stops himself before turning back around a devastating look plastered across his face.

“ can… I have a kiss goodbye” he speaks lowly

You nod silently enough words had come from your mouth tonight.

He walks over to you timidly before placing a kiss to the crown of your head. A tender, loving bittersweet kiss.

Staying like that for a few seconds as you hear him sniffle holding back his tears.

That night you cry yourself to sleep unsure of what emotions you’re even feeling.

You get up in the middle of the night to check on your babygirl stopping by the bathroom to splash your face with some water, looking at yourself in the mirror eyes filled with devastation puffy from the sobs let out as you curled into yourself on the bed.

as you make it to her room you open the door and look to the right.

Asleep in the rocking chair, under eyes just as red and puffy as the eyes that had looked back at you in the mirror when you got up.

Caleb

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[animeshotsh]

Chains | Husk x SisOverlord!Reader / Yandere!Alastor x Reader |

Summary: Its been years since you saw your brother...

Warnings: Alastor its a warning himself | Yandere!Alastor | Overlord!Reader | Canon Violence | Grammar Mistakes |

No one expected the doors of the Hotel to burst Open that afternoon. Vaggie was the first to react, being ready to fight whever decided to attack that day (it was becoming something normal).

Charlie on her part was jumping towards the stranger, ready to shake hands and introduce herself.

"Hello! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, im Charlie, whats your na-" Before Charlie could finish two voices sounded in the back.

"(Y/N)?"

"(Y/N) MY DEAR!!"

Husk and Alastor voices echoed in the looby, the only response their got were a set of flashing sharp poker cards being directed at the radio Demon and Husk.

"ITS HAS BEEN 12 YEARS AND THATS ALL YOU GONNA SAY?" You screamed at both men.

Husk looked away, shame over his cat face. Long time ago you two used to rule. The brother and sister duo, the ones who could destroy everyone. That was till Husk destroyed himself, giving his soul to the radio Demon. Leaving you behind.

Alastor was amused by your anger. He knew you hated him, he was the one who took your brothers soul after all. And he never felt remorse because of it, he was almost happy he did it. It was the only way he got to see you, ever if you only showed him hate.

He would take whatever from you.

"Wait...are you Husk's gilfriend?" Charlie still not catching up asked, getting the most bizarre look from you.

"Hell no, im his sister" You responded making the princess blush and apologie too much. "Its fine, I know he does not talk a lot about me"

Charlie could hear the sadness in your voice. She took a moment to see you, and now she saw how similar Husk and you were. Cat face a pair of wings, the colors were different and so were your eyes, but there was something that just connected you two.

"This is (Y/N), The Casino Demon, you bet against her and you lose your Soul" Alastor explained appearing besides you. "She and Husk used to rule together"

"Yeah, well thats in the past now" You responded to Alastor both of you killing each other with your eyes.

The tension was broken by Husk, "why are you here?"

"Im here because you are here and because I want to redeem myself" You responded with your head high, not looking at the obvious smirk from Alastor or the questioning look from Husk.

Charlie quickly took your hand, guiding you towards a desk to check you in, she ramble about the hotel, the guests and things they did in here.

You kind of feel bad for her, you could see her passion but the only reason you were in here was because of Husk. Ever since Alastor took his soul it ended being a game of finding him. Alastor would make Husk's soul appear and since you two were connected as brother and sister you would fly there only to find him gone and a smirking Radio Demon.

But this time, his soul had been in one place for a long time. So you decided to use this chance to be by your brothers side.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

Later that same night you went to the bar, Husk tried to ignore you, cleaning glasses but ended facing you. No one dared to speak first, silent tears fell from your eyes, slowly your hands reached his, his fluffy hair welcoming you.

"I have missed you so much" You said smiling at him. Husk felt his heart break, he knew how Alastor played with you using him. He had tried many times to make you hate him, but you never did. You also never fought Alastor knowing he would use Husk to get you.

"Lets have a drink for the old days"

~☆~☆~☆~☆~

After many drinks you went back to your room. So many years apart...Husk and you had so much to catch on.

"You know you cant have him back"

The radio Demon appear behind you, you ignored him not wanting to fall for his games.

"Not without a deal at least"

"And what would that deal be?" You asked not looking back at the Demon.

In a flash he got closer to you, not touching you but you could feel his breath down your neck.

"Your soul for his, be mine for the eternity and free him" Hell, you could feel the psycho smile and listen the radio laughts.

"Goodnight Alastor"

You left him alone outside your room. Alastor smiled to himself, hands behind his back he started to walk to his own room.

"Just a bit more" he whispered his body turning to his full Demon form.

"Just a bit more to be mine"

[reomikagekin]

I think we need a happy ending after what has happened in the alien stage series.

So, I was thinking an au were all the alien stage characters are save and have settled down.

And their s/o tells them she pregnant. So now they a starting a family I wonder how they been like during the pregnancy and how they be like as a parent

i didnt add isaac, dewey, hyunwoo or jacob in this, but if you want that, js let me know!!

A Future We Fought For

💗 Sua

When you tell her, she just stares at you for a long, stunned moment.

“You… you’re pregnant?”

You nod gently. “Yeah.”

Her lips tremble. “With my kid?”

You reach out, taking her hand. “With our kid.”

She breaks.

Tears fall freely — not from fear, not even quite from joy, but from relief. Like after all the pain and death and screaming and loss, this is the one thing she never dared to dream about. Something normal. Something alive.

“…I never thought I’d live long enough to become someone’s mother,” she whispers into your shoulder.

Sua during pregnancy is tender and determined. She reads every article, argues with nurses if they don’t treat you gently enough, and rubs your back while swearing that this baby is going to grow up free — not hunted, not broken, not used.

When the baby’s born, she clutches them tightly to her chest.

“I won’t be perfect,” she says, crying. “But I’ll be here. I’ll protect you. That’s a promise.”

🧡 Ivan

He stares at the pregnancy test.

Then at you.

Then back at the test.

Then at you again.

And finally, in the most stupidly Ivan way possible: “…Wait, you’re serious? You’re actually pregnant? You’re—like—for real?!”

You nod, a little nervous, unsure if that shocked face is joy or panic. Then—

He tackles you in a hug, spins you around the living room like he’s in a cheesy romcom, laughing like a madman. “I’m gonna be a dad! Oh my god—I’m gonna be a dad!!”

Ivan becomes the most annoyingly excited father-to-be. He reads baby books (and loses them), talks to your belly every night (“Yo, kid, make sure you come out cooler than me”), and insists the baby must inherit your eyes.

When the baby’s born, Ivan cries. Full, messy, overwhelming sobs as he holds them.

“You’re our beginning,” he whispers to your child. “Not an end.”

🩷 Mizi

You weren’t sure how she’d react.

After everything — after losing Sua, after fighting so hard just to survive — you thought the idea of a child might be too much.

But the moment you told her, Mizi just… froze.

“Really?” she whispered. “Are you… Are you happy about it?”

“I am,” you say softly. “But only if you are, too.”

Tears welled up. Not sad ones — just big ones. Scared ones. Healing ones. She throws herself into your arms and clutches your shirt tightly.

“I never thought I’d live long enough for something this… this good to happen to me.”

Pregnancy is full of Mizi carefully, cautiously learning to hope again. She makes little handmade toys, paints the nursery herself, and reads out loud every night (mostly poetry and soft lullabies).

When the baby arrives, she doesn’t stop crying.

“You’re the proof I didn’t die bitter,” she says. “You’re what love gave me in return.”

💜 Luka

He goes quiet.

Not cold — just… still. Like he’s processing something too big to believe.

“I’m pregnant,” you say again. Your voice is small, but steady.

He takes a slow breath. Walks over to you. Kneels. Presses his forehead to your stomach.

“You’re sure?” he asks, voice breaking ever so slightly.

You nod. “Yes.”

His hands tremble as they wrap around your waist. “Then I have to change. I have to be better. For both of you.”

Luka is so serious about fatherhood. He attends every check-up. Tracks every appointment. Builds the crib himself (and only trusts it after testing its stability 30 times).

He talks to the baby like they’re royalty: “You will not inherit my scars. Only my strength. But I hope you take after her more than me.”

And when he holds the baby for the first time, his heart shatters in the best way.

“...Thank you,” he whispers, tears slipping down his cheeks. “For giving me a reason to keep living.”

💚 Till

When you tell Till you’re pregnant, he bursts into tears.

Not the ugly kind. Not fear. Just pure, overwhelmed joy.

“You want to raise a kid… with me?!” he says, voice cracking. “Like… actually me?!”

You hug him tightly. “Yes. I want this life with you.”

Till becomes the most gentle, nervous, and chaotic father-to-be. He researches everything but still panics when you sneeze. He buys twelve baby monitors. He names the baby “Squish” until you can decide together.

He plays music for your bump daily — little songs on an old keyboard, humming tunes he makes up just for them.

When the baby’s born, he stares like it’s a dream.

“You’re real…” he whispers. “And I get to be here for it…”

He never stops being amazed that something good, something this good, happened to him.

💛 Hyuna

“You’re joking,” she says at first. “You’re—seriously? You’re not pulling some kind of messed up prank, right?”

You hand her the test again. She blinks. Once. Twice. Then—

“OH MY GOD—WE’RE HAVING A BABY?!”

She screams. She cries. She lifts you in the air. She immediately starts planning names. She tells everyone (even the barista at the corner shop).

Hyuna is the most ride-or-die pregnant partner imaginable. She gets you weird snacks at 3 AM, builds a playlist for every trimester, and shows up to every appointment dressed like she’s protecting royalty.

When your water breaks, she nearly faints. When the baby is born, she’s the first to hold them.

“I swear on everything,” she murmurs, smiling through tears, “this kid’s gonna grow up loved. Fully. Loudly. Fiercely.”

💫 Optional Ending: Together

Years later, they all visit each other with their kids in tow. The war is over. No more stages. No more death.

Just Ivan making bad dad jokes. Till chasing a toddler through a garden. Hyuna organizing chaotic family cookouts. Luka reading quietly to his child under a tree. Mizi painting with her little one while laughing softly.

Sua rocking her child gently, humming a quiet lullaby.

You sit beside them — the love of their life — and feel a peace none of them thought they’d ever live to see.

They made it.

They’re home.

And the future is beautiful.

[nightcolorz]

always thinking about the development of abed and Brittas dynamic. Pov ur Britta and ur starting community collage and u meet a visibly autistic guy in ur Spanish one class and when ur introduced to him u can’t help but think of ur older brother who works with autistic kids and u wonder if ur capable of making positive change in someone’s life the way he does or if ur always going to fuck everything up like everyone says u do, and u befriend this autistic guy in ur Spanish class who realize as u soon become close friends rlly needs a type of daily support that he isn’t and has never been accommodated with and ur like wow, sad, what if I can be the support he needs, and obviously you can’t, bcus ur one person and also u know nothing about autism and also this random man from ur Spanish one class has an acute mission to push u into emotional despair bcus ur earnest desire to help him bcus of ur personal internal conflict combined with ur huge amount of ignorance reminds him of his mother and he wants to consciously emulate his relationship with her with u so that he can use footage of u to make a shitty art film about his childhood trauma and that’s when u realize that u aren’t ur brother and also are stupid asf to think that u can be like ur brother for ur adult friend who is low key having some form of psychotic episode but even still you’ve grown to love this autistic Man U met at ur Spanish one class and it breaks ur heart everyday that u will never be enough to meet his neglected emotional needs so u decide to become a psychology major so that maybe one day u will be adequate enough to do this right, bcus rlly u have a lot of unaddressed existential terror that the world is a cruel unjust place that u are too insignificant to do anything about and it fills the hole in ur heart a little to feel like u are making an impact in at least one vulnerable persons life, but ultimately ur an ignorant and self centered collage student and ur autistic friend from Spanish one loves to remind u that u are not enough and ur attempts to help him will only ever backfire or register to him as infantilizing condescension and as u try to therapize ur adult friend u become the one getting therapied as he turns every attempt of urs on its head so that now u are the one being confronted by ur own psychological problems which eventually come to a head when he comforts u about ur own failure while he’s having a hallucinatory psychotic episode prompted by his mom giving up on him where he tells u in song form that you are “broken” bcus u desperately want to help people but u lack the tools to make any positive change and u cry a whole lot about this bcus from now forward u are forced to reckon with the reality that u are not qualified to fix ur disabled friend bcus ur a psychology student in collage and he has autism and psychosis and childhood trauma and all u can rlly do about that is be a good friend and an adult about it and also accept that ur disabled friend is just as much of a person and an adult as you are and u cant violate his autonomy by using him as a tool for ur own self betterment and now u don’t use ur baby voice on him quite as much bcus you’ve learned that ur friend is going to psychologically torture the shit out of u if u try to be his mom so instead u set ur sights on being his collage friend who he can talk shit with and such and everyone’s just going to try their best

Then pov ur abed and ur like lol. Britta is Talking to me Like im five. What if I stop talking to her to emulate my childhood speech delay so that she’s forced to deal with the burden my mom did and she leaves me like everyone else does so I can make a movie about it. Oops she’s still here. Well, her romantic subplots would make rlly good sitcom storylines in the tv show that is my life. 🍜🍜🍜🍜🍜coolcoll

[evrelunss]

Prologue

On a monday night, you drive your motorcycle on a crazy speed— tears deaming in your eyes after the sudden break up that breaks your heart into many pieces, tears corrupted your beautiful eyes. Sadness consumed your thoughts, the beautiful memory started to repeated in your minds,

Those sweet words,

Those happy memory,

Those fights,

And.. those words.

“Im breaking up with you, [Name].”

And sky seems to be helped for your dramatic-crash-out-after-broken-up-era by the heavy rain that showers you.

And same goes for your death.

—

“One of the hottest recently trending Dating Game on Social Media.”

“Love and Deepspace.”

“The main character, Elysia. She assumes the role of an Evolver with superpowers known as Evol, who fights against cosmic beings called Wanderers in the city of Linkon. Who knows that she is secretly the Long-Lost Daughter of an Noble Family?”

“The main story centers on Elysia’s quest to uncover the mysteries and the Deepspace Tunnel, while developing relationships with several characters who become love interests.”

“Several love interest with different and unique charm!”

“And, the ulterior motives of the fake’s daughter that taken her true identity and the main character’s spot while she was gone for many years!?”

“Defeat the Villainess and seek your happy ending with the love interest!”

“Play now!”

—

“Im breaking up with you, [Name].”

His cold voice aching into her ears, [Name] never expected all of this to be happened. Why is this happend so suddenly? After what they went through? The happiness that went through together? The sadness? The fight? After everything they went… through?

Ah, she gets it. Its because of that girl, isnt it?

Oh, his true first love.

She doesnt get it, what so special about her?

Oh God, she wished for that girl to die honestly, to take away her man, her family, yet she cannot do that. That girl is too sweet, like a blooming flower— so perfect.

“Its because of her, isnt it? Answer me, XXXXX.”

“….”

“Yes, i choose her. Your sister.”

No wonder he loved her more.

Fine.

If thats how he wants, so be it.

“Fine, let’s break up if thats what you wanted so much.”

She speaks with a big confidence, as if she didnt think about all of those things earlier. Standing up from the wooden chair she just sat on, and ready to leave.

“Im sorry, [Name].”

He said so lowly— very quiet. That no one can hear, except the Nature itself and God.

—

I never thought that death will be this fast, really. I thought it was going to be slow, like in the manhwas that i usually read. But,

Wow.

I never thought that i would die crashing my motorcyle out because of the slippery road, its hillarious, honestly.

Ah, i started to feel sleepy, am i going to heaven?

—

“Eden—“

Huh?

“They say, you make a scene like a wild dog at the banquet that XXXXXX family holds? What an embrasment.”

What?

Where the hell im at?

Where is this place?

Why is this so familliar—

I cant speak— why?

Suddenly, infront of me appeared some multiple choice’s that magically summoned from God’s know where. The choices are:

1. Not my problem.

2. I wasn’t thinking of anything at that moment.

3. Well, the thing is that.. (With a pitiful voice).

WHAT THE HELL?

“You’d be better answer me immediately, Eden.”

The man with a dark red haired said, his voice echoed in this room. It feels familiar,

Those dark red haired, with blue eyes,

I dont know, but its like i have seen him. And with that name he just called me..

Wait a minute..

….

….

….

….

….

….

….

….

….

….

….

…

….

….

….

I think i know what’s happening to me right now…

I’VE BEEN FUCKING TRANSMIGRATED OR ISEKAI’ED TO A LITTERALY OTOME GAME??

HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS—

I never expected something like this—!?

I always hope that i will experience this situation, but.. i never hoped to be the Villainess instead!

“You’d be better answer me now, Eden Eckhart.”

Shit, i’d better be chosing right now..

This man freaking me out to be honest, i might think that if i answer him wrong, i could be executed right now…

DING!

I chose number three, because that is the most least provocative choice’s that i’d be given by this damn system.

“Well, the thing is..”

My voice automatically..? As i hold my throat, its unbelieveable. Something is controlling my words carefully, its like chosing a card carefully.

“Well, the thing is..? Continue your words.”

He said coldly, his words are much colder than the ice from the north itself.

DING!

1. Im sorry, i will not do it again.

2. It was that dumb maid that made a mistake, not me.

3. Those lowly servants dare to speak low things about me, a Noble Lady!

Dang, if the situation are not this bad, i will definately chose number 3. But for safety, i will chose number 1, i think to myself and press number one on the display.

“Im sorry—“

I said as i looked at him, before my words are cutted harshly by him. I looked at him with a beaming anger. Okay, that was rude??

“Listen to me, Eden. You cannot repeat the same thing like this and end this up with an apology. If you wouldnt do such a stupid thing, we’re not going to facing each other like this.”

He said carefully, glancing to me as i still sat on the ground, literally begging on my knees to him that i didnt realize earlier.

“Since this day on, i will order you to be on Probation! Not only from parties, you will Probation from going out from your room!”

DAYUM!

“Think of what you just did, and how you should act in the future.”

He said, before moving his feet and then moving away from my direction.

Derrick Eckhart – 0%

What? Why is the favorability is at 0%..? Isnt it supposed to be 30%..?

I asked to myself in thoughts as i watched him walking away. My mind is on hurricane, what is going on right now? Im honestly panicked.

Until, i realized something.

I can feel my heart stop beating for a moment,

My blood turns cold,

My body are cold sweating,

And my face turns pale

Am i’ve been transmigrated into the HARD mode..?

“You deserve it.”

A squeaky voice said, when i turned my head to see who said that, i could not help, but my eyes are widen much more seeing the favorability on top of him.

Reynold Eckhart - -10%

Negative..? What? How? This is scary, honestly. My risk of being killed is incerased if this keep happening..!

No, no, no. I couldnt let that happend!

—

“Have all of you tried the newest game that just launched?”

My friend spoke as i was busy with my books, didnt really care about it anyway. Game isnt truly my style since i was a child. I’ve grown to be a book type of girl, rather than to be the gamers type.

“What? That otome game? Hell yeah! Listen— the men’s are fine shits, and hot asf!”

They are being so loud..

“RIGHT???”

Oh my God..

“Honestly i dont really played that.. i’ve been annoyed by that one character! I forgot what’s her name— oh yeah! The Villainess.”

—

“I need to survive, no matter what.”

Hellooww, this is my newest fanfic of love and deepspace. And this is heavily inspirated by Death is the Ending for the Villainess. In this AU, Elysia doesnt have any protocore syndrome at all, or coming from EVER laboratarium— no. She is a normal hunter— and why is Zayne still become a doctor if she even didnt have any disease?? Well, to me, that man is a doctor in or out, especially his parents are chinese(if i remember quietly) so without Elysia disease, he will still be a doctor on either way.

Btw, this is like a love and deepspace x death is the only ending for the villainess x honkai impact 3rd (only names; eden, elysia)

Well, yeah.. @evreluns is my another account, guys— you can follow this account incase i update the next part there.

Taglist:

[he-needs-enrichment]

Expedition 33 post game thoughts

since none of my friends have played the game except for one person currently playing, i need to write down some thoughts if only so i can come back to this later (if anyone finds them interesting that's a bonus). They're gonna be very disjointed.

Also if you haven't finished the game do yourself a favor and don't read this until you did.

Spending the prologue getting to know everyone and setting up the expedition, just for them to instantly die in the first seconds of Act 1 set the tone for the game amazingly. I feel like a huge part of this games message is how death simply happens, and there is no grand plan or justice about it. All those people you just know have had complex lives and relationships gone in an instant.

This made the end of act 1 really click for me, no matter how devastated and sad i was. It made so much sense to me, life isn't fair and death isn't either.

With the power of hindsight, the symbolism behind Verso coming in as a replacement for Gustave is heartbreaking. A sad broken man, expected to fill the shoes of a beloved, kind man he never knew and never was, constantly compared to him by us, the players the same way he is thought of as a bad replacement by of painter!verso by characters in the narrative. The parallels between Gustave and painter!verso in general break my heart.

The way Verso longs for connection, yet works to kill everyone and everything he's cared about so he can finally die. Every time he spends time with the members of expedition 33, he knows he just makes everything more painful for himself, yet he can't help himself, he wants them to feel better, he literally cuts himself in half just to make them smile.

At the same time it's heartbreaking to see how he keeps breaking everyone's trust, no matter how many times they forgive him and how much he tries. I see a metaphor for how trying to avoid conflict by always being agreeable and failing to communicate your desires and needs always ends to hurting both yourself and everyone around you.

Good god did the older brother who loves their youngest sibling more than the world hit me hard. I never see myself as a heroic person, in fact i don't think i could be brave in most situations, but i truly believe I'd let the world end before giving them up.

Speaking of family, painter!renoire is the first fictional depiction of a father doing things "for the family" at any cost that wasn't deeply triggering and uncomfortable for me. He truly loved everyone, and i think he was right in what he did.

The concept of the gommage and the duality of the known, predictable death and the unpredictable sudden death. Both have their own horrors, and neither make it easier. I try to not think much about it, but just knowing that golden retrievers usually don't live much past 10-12 years fills me with dread and makes me cry sometimes, and i don't think I'll ever be prepared (and now I'm crying). At the same time it reminds me that at any point in time, anyone could just stop existing.

There's so much to say about escaping into worlds of Fantasy. Be it books, artistic endeavors or playing video games, clair obscur is a stark reminder of the danger of losing your real time and connections when trying to get away from the world. At the same time, it shows the potential for beauty - kid verso and clea made this vibrant and amazing universe that gave them so much, its only when this universe became escapism to their grieving mother when things went bad.

Im not sure I'll be able to/want to ever replay the game, after seeing the ending. We as players are as much painters as the in universe equivalents. It doesn't feel right to put them all though suffering because we can't let things go.

I got much more to say, but I'll end on a note about the endings.

Sciel and Lune's reactions in Versos ending broke my heart. There's no happy ending in any case. But i still believe it's the right ending, because there's hope for a better tomorrow. Verso is right. Maelle!Alicia could repaint things later, as a more mature and grown person. everyone in the canvas at this point is a repainted by her already. But she needs to live, to grow as a person, and verso deserves to rest. She can't let him go on her own, repeating what her mother did, putting him and the world though the same grief.

The Maelle ending feels straight out of a horror movie. Others have pointed it out before, but the vibrant colorful world is replaced by black and white. The people lost their individuality, and how couldn't they? Maelle didn't know them. Even the people she knew can't be like they were before, because maelle in this version can not accept inperfections. She became a puppeteer, and Verso, who has been trying to get just a tiny bit of freedom his entire life, is just a performer on a stage for her now. He knows it. He hates it. And there is nothing he can do about him. What is horrifying to me and illustrates this disregard for him as a person as opposed to a role for him to fill as her happy brother is that he seems to not have his scar anymore - the one thing he said he kept to show his individuality, his ability to choose for himself.

idk if anyone will read this but if you did, thanks, comments are welcome.

[buckyalpine]

Fic idea - Bucky’s family & time travel

You know how I keep proposing ideas, then adding it to my wips and then I stare at it while it stares at me. Heres another. I'm so sorry. Swear this will end in fluff, you'll just suffer in between. So imagine the most angstiest angst where Bucky gets married and has a child with his sweetheart before he’s sent to war. He's loved her his whole life and now they have a little one together; nothing could be more perfect. He promises he'll be back safe and sound with a kiss to her forehead and plenty of kisses for his baby girl.

Until Hydra captures him and turns him into the Winter Soldier. His first mission is to eliminate any familial ties. He doesn't feel anything when he pulls the trigger. He's successful and carries out hundreds of others kills, each searing itself in some part of his brain but he's constantly wiped before he can piece anything together.

But then he's rescued and he has to pick up the broken fragments of his memories and its too much of a fog for him to understand. At the very least he has his best friend by his side again and he's slowly starting to remember.

His first question is about his sweet y/n and his little girl.

His happiness is short-lived when Steve doesn't say anything. Bucky doesn't understand why he avoids his gaze, why he suddenly looks so distraught. No amount of pleading or begging works, his best friend doesn't breathe a word, asking Bucky to please let things be.

To learn to live with the way things were.

He can't do that though. He needs answers. When the team is away on a mission, he find a way to get into his records that SHIELD kept on him, wondering if they ever had anything on file about his life before he was captured. Every single detail about who he was before the war to after is written with details and camera footage.

He doesn't move from where he's seated, a blank expression on his face while everyone returns. Steve approaches Bucky first, worried about why the soldier looked so pale as if he'd aged 10 years in the past 3 days.

"I killed them?" His broken whisper of a voice breaks Steve's heart when he sees the file Bucky was looking at, a picture of him, his little girl on his shoulders and wife all smiling at the camera. The sheet he's clutching onto has their names along with deceased written write across the sheet.

Bucky is inconsolable.

His dreams are no longer about others he has killed. He's flooded with memories of her; the soft ivory dress she wore on their wedding day, the baby pink lace she had on when he undressed her that same night, the scent of her perfume, the sound of her laugh, the kicks of their baby, the sound of her happy squeals when he blew raspberries onto her chubby cheeks.

Those happy memories are quickly replaced with her pleading for him to remember. To just remember at least once.

Jamie, it's me, please, m'your y/n, Bucky, don't-

D-daddy?

Baby, go to your room-Bucky no-

Mama!

Please, not Bella, James, you love her baby, you love us- please remember me-

I-I love you

The pain of Bucky's cries are too much for anyone to handle. They're a different type of sadness. So much so, even Tony's starting to worry when he doesn't see Bucky for days on end. He begs to be put back in cyro, to have his memories wiped, to have his brain fried, anything to forget. He doesn't care about the pain, he just wants it all to end.

Imagine theres a mission that involves time travel. Steve and Sam stand on the platform, ready to enter the portal, setting their timers for a specific date in the past. When Sam catches Steve adding another date without telling him, he quietly adds it on his suit as well, piecing what the Captain plans on doing.

The mission takes a little longer than anticipated. Steve is surprised when Sam is beside him when he travels back to the 40's, the both of them now with a new mission in mind, alternating the future be damned. If they had a chance to give Bucky the life he deserved again, they would do it. Bucky doesn't ask for much. In fact he never asked for anything. He deserved this.

Imagine the shock everyone gets when the portal opens up at the compound and there are now 4 people on the platform. Steve, Sam, a woman and a little girl no older than 2. She's dressed in a simple dotted dress, still wearing an apron around her waist while her baby stays clinging around her, tucking her face into her mommas neck.

Imagine the way Bucky would collapse with her when he sees his family again, crying endlessly being able to hold his wife and child, something he thought he'd lost forever. Everyone gives the little family some privacy while he hugs and kisses them, cuddling them to his chest, still right on the lab floor. Explanations for everything can wait, right now he can't believe he has his angels back.

Imagine the way they'd fall asleep that night, sleeping in bed for once, now that he's reunited with his y/n and his Bella.

imagine the endless love he'd make to her while Bella spends time with her God Fathers, aka all the Avenger men.

Imagine she's pregnant soon after and they can continue being a family in the present, doing all the things they always dreamed of.

Anyway, just a thought.

[sannasruins]

no longer your person

gojo satoru x reader

type: angst, breakup

warnings: reader gets broken up with, no pronouns or y/n, sad sitting on the floor

a/n: total vent post because i am feeling insecure in my relationship lol

word count: 900

He looked at you, his eyes filled with pity, but they were an unfamiliar cold blue. Like artic ice shooting straight into your heart instead of a warm sky that embraced you.

“You’re a good person, and I love you,” he started, his eyebrows furrowed in distress. “But you’re not my person anymore. And I just, and not in love with you anymore.”

Your throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton and your chest tightened in a way that you had never felt before.

“Wha-,” you choked on the first word out of your mouth, “what do you mean Satoru?”

“I just,” he ran a hair through his hair, frustrated at his lack of words to express how he was feeling. “I just can’t do this anymore. I feel stuck. I feel like I can’t grow, grow past the person I was when I met you. This relationship, its suffocating me and it’s killing my potential.”

Your mouth hung open slightly, eyes glassy with unshed tears. These cruel words he was saying with his sweet voice that used to whisper honeyed little nothings into your ear as he held you.

“Where… where is this coming from Satoru?” You questioned him, it was already hard to process what he was trying to get across to you, but now your mind was filling with questions. “I thought we were good, we, we are in love Gojo Satoru.”

He pursed his lips at you, his face was filled with melancholy now, he didn’t want you to take it this way, he wanted it to be easy. That was naive of him.

“It’s been coming for a while, I’m sure you have felt it. Us growing apart, the distance between us expanding. Even talking to you has been hard for a while.” he looked down at his hands, wringing them.

He was right of course; you had felt a tear form your relationship quite a long time ago. But you thought it was just a rough patch, something the two of you had gone through before. With a talk and some understanding, you had hopped that you could stitch the tear right up and it just be added to the patchwork of your relationship.

Why hadn’t you talked to him about it sooner? Why did you wait for him to bring something up? Why didn’t you say anything.

“Can’t we fix this?” you looked at him beggingly, “I’m sure we can fix this, there’s no need for us to breakup, right?”

“No, I don’t think there is. I think we are long, long past the point of fixing it. I’m just full of resentment now.”

You breathed in hard, and your tears started to fall. Your shoulders shook with the force of your silent cries. Your face scrunched up in pain.

“Oh no, no,” he murmured, coming closer to you, “please? Please don’t cry, I didn’t want to make you cry.”

You shook your head at him.

“Was I not enough? What, what did I do wrong?” You forced your words out past your tear clogged throat, “I’m so confused, why are you doing this to me? To us?”

He hugged you, brining you close into his familiar warmth and scent. It should be comforting but all it did was remind you that those were no longer yours, making you cry even harder, you whole body wracking with your anguish.

“You were more than enough, you gave me everything you could I’m sure of it,” he tried to reassure you, while stroking the top of your head. “It just…” he paused, contemplating what he wanted to say next, trying to soften the blow, “it isn’t the right enough for me, I need something different.”

Your legs gave out, and you sank to the floor, and he followed, embracing you as you sobbed.

Anger filled you as he held you, how dare he be so sweet and so kind while at the same time breaking your heart. So you pushed at his chest, “Let me go.”

He refused initially, he did still love you, and seeing you in this kind of distress caused him discomfort, the idea of leaving you alone in that state didn’t sit right with him.

You push harder and begged him to let you go, please, please leave me alone, go away, you didn’t want to see you anymore.

He pulled away to look into your reddened eyes, biting his lip in concern.

“Go away Gojo.” You looked at him with a steeled gaze. “Leave me alone, I don’t want to look at you anymore, I don’t want to be in your space, I don’t want to see you. Go. Away.”

Your words caused a pang in his heart, they were kind of words you had never spoken to him before, that kind of venom in your voice had never been heard by his ears. And to call him by his last name instead of his given name, you hadn’t done that in years, his name sounded foreign to him when you spoke it.

But he got up, slowly, and dusted himself off, before looking down at your crumpled form on the floor, folded in on itself. If you had looked, you would have seen an expression on his face that was truly unreadable.

He walked away, leaving you there, on the cold hard floor, grieving a person that didn’t seem to exist anymore, and a happiness you will never be able to replicate.

He was no longer your person, and you were no longer his.

[mi-co-uk]

expired reader blurb ˎˊ˗

content: "when the party's over" - expired reader is drunk and missing.

warnings: upsetting content - implied unalive attempt, intoxication, bad physical health, fear and just sad :c use of y/n

this is part of my billie eilish writing marathon [here]

˗ˏˋ empty pages is the main series but this can be read separately. ˎˊ˗

wc: 700 words

AU MASTERLIST // NAV // ALL AUS

Matt knew something had gone wrong when she didnt answer the door. 

She had countless days where she would try and push him away, telling him she wasnt worth any of his efforts. Matt would find his way to her regardless, comforting her even when she felt she didnt deserved it. pain self inflicted or by someone else, it didnt matter, he would show up. Shed have a conversation at least, almost allowing matt to talk himself inside. He was always worried for the day he didnt get an answer. He never wouldve expected it to be tonight. 

Her body had given her a break the day before, not like a walking exhausted machine as she usually described herself. She laughed at his dumb jokes, they cuddled, she even danced. It was the familiar self that matt always knew could never be buried too deep down.

He said goodbye in the early morning, kissing her forehead with reluctancy as he went home to do work with his brothers. She knew hed be gone the whole day, she knew hed be back exactly as he was now, knocking on her front door. The neighbourhood felt deserted, as if buildings could echo her absence, practically yelling through silence that something was wrong. 

He couldnt stop calling. Pacing her front porch, growing aware she probably wasnt home but didnt know where to start searching. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” he repeated, as if it brought some kind of comfort. 

Nothing could. Not until he heard her voice, not until he knew she was at least alive. He walked down the porch steps, horrified scanning the streets hoping shed appear out of the nothing. Everything was dim, the darkness was choking him, every option for his mental scenarios on where she was felt more and more real as if hed already lost her. 

His screen lit up, glowing like her life was shining in his hands; but relief couldnt settle yet.

“y/n?”

“S-stop- callin. ‘m not.. Um.”

“baby where are you? Let me come get you please, i can look after you. Are you on your own? Have you been drinking? Where are you?”

“‘s just me matty.. don’ think i can c-come home”

“Its not safe, i need you to tell me where you are. Please.”

The static froze his pacing, her voice felt even further now that hed lost it again.

“H-hello?”

“g-gotta let me go matty.”

“Thats not happening, baby, im not doing that.”

Her small cries strained at his heart, hed never felt this helpless, hed never let himself this far away from her before. He hadnt lost her yet and he wasnt going to let that happen now.

“you dont needa wait up for me-”

“-I need you. I know youre in pain but i need you okay? Let me take you home.”

“dont-dont. dont needa lie for me”

“Im not lying baby i dont lie. You know that, yeah?

“..yeah i know. Im not-” her voiced cracked at the weight of her own words. “Im not good matt. Im broken. im not good for you- im not even good for me”

“You are good for me i promise you, im happiest with you- i c-cant. i cant be without you.”

His body felt twisted, tension squeezing himself closed as if his heart was about to burst. Her cries tugged at the feeling, but it felt better than the silence. Helping her through the pain hurt less than her absence, and hed never trade her away for it.

“I-i’ll walk home” she sniffed once more.

“Let me come get you please, and dont hang up.”

“I can get home. ‘m gonna walk i-i’ll see you home. at my home.”

“y/n wait i just need you to turn your location-”

“Can do it- let me do it. Wanna walk. Let me say bye matty”

“Youre drunk, its dark, youre not safe. At least let me walk with you.”

“..okay”

“Yeah?”

“Ill turn my thing on ‘n you find me?”

“Yeah i’ll find you, baby. dont hang up okay? d-dont leave me please.”

“‘m not leaving. I’ll wait here for you.”

a/n THIS MADE ME SO UPSET

everything taglist: @pair-of-pantaloons @oopsiedaisydeer @corspebridedelrey @browniepop62 @izzylovesmatt @michele-sturns @courta13 @sturns-mermaid @emely9274 @baebadoobee4ever @fw-lee @afr8idofrats @stvrniolotrxpl3ts @chrxsprettygirl @franticroads @m4gz-png @clairomatt @allisonclairee @mattshorsenecklace @whor3ing @matts-girlfriend @obsessedwiththesturniolos @shadowthesim237 @chrisslut04 @jetaimevous @eeyoresturnz @dolliraez @sugarraez @pizzapocketpocketpizza @k1ssettae @pink1man @bbgirlmatt @fadedstvrn @sturnslutz @ribbonlovergirl @msvalsius @mattsfavoriteteddybear @sturnberries @jacsismattswife @tezzzzzzzz @matts-hersheys-kisses + all matt only taglist : @trulygentle @apersononearth011 + angst and fluff only taglist : @xeneasworld @auttysturnz @kayskreativeideas @franticroads

[lenallu]

I'll hear you.

❅ tags: angst, hurt/no comfort, death, grief ❅ word count: 776 ❅ synopsis: Zayne takes you to the park when you're sick for some fresh air and sunlight. You find a way to express your love without words. ❅ a/n: this was written to the song futile devices - sufjan stevens

"You have to stop talking. You need to rest your voice, or you won't be able to talk at all." He pauses to consider something, then picks up a small knife from beside you.

"Actually, that might not be so bad." He cuts into the crisp apple's core, pulling out a section and handing it to you with a subtle smile pulling at his lips.

You laugh and push his shoulder before taking the offered slice from his fingers and biting into it. "But how will I tell you I love you? I don't want you to forget." You say hoarsely.

He sets the apple down onto the newspaper and looks out at the luscious park. He thinks for a moment, allowing silence to settle before looking back at you.

"You won't have to say it. Just look at me, like this. I'll hear you."

There's a devastating tenderness in his voice as he leans toward you slightly, his eyes locked onto yours. He spoke softly, as if sharing a secret. The remnants of your laughter soften in your expression as the love in his voice saturates you. Like a milk cake drenched in heavy cream, drowning in sweetness and crumbling upon the slightest touch.

"When you talk to me like that, I feel like I've been caught in the rain." You pause to watch confusion take root behind his eyes.

"Vulnerable, soggy. Embraced by the beauty of the world around me. It's too much for my heart. Would it kill you to act like you hate me every once in a while?"

He laughs a little, and leans back on his hands, allowing the sun to bathe him as he closes his eyes.

"It might."

🜺

The frost has seized him. Fear, anger, and envy flashed through your body at the sight of the frost encasing, embracing his body. You follow the trail of ice up his limbs with your eyes, leading you to where it had crept up the column of his neck.

You hurry forward, your hands coming up to hold his face in your warmth. The cold did not relent, and continued to consume him. Your breath trembled against his skin under the treachery of the frigid and wintry howling winds beating against your back. You wish there was a way to save him, you wish you knew what to do to make this less painful for him. To let him rest with some kind of peace. You want to say you love him, but can't see those words being anything but agonizing right now.

Warm memories of what he said that time in the park flood into your mind, and everything in you aches. Your chin lifts, and you find his eyes fastened to yours with wavering intensity as the biting cold spreads within his body, slowly capturing his consciousness.

The storm roars, as if to fend you off. The fear in his expression is palpable, and new. You've never seen him so terrified. Everything about this moment demands you to run, but your feet stay planted firmly in the snow. You don't make an effort to say anything, but you instead adhere your gaze to his as intensely as you can as your fingers caress his cheek, trembling. Recognition falls over his features at what you were trying to communicate, and sparkling tears begin to underline his hazel green eyes. A pained breath breaks from your mouth and panic floods into you at your misstep. You didn't want him to leave you like this with sadness in his heart. You didn't want him to cry.

Small flecks of ice break and fly from his skin as his jaw moves slightly. His voice comes out quiet, and you strain to hear him against the wind, but you do.

"I…love..you…too." It comes out, broken and pained, and he goes completely rigid as the frost makes its final advances.

In those last moments, he chose against his usual silent acknowledgement of your affection. Not because he felt words were any more powerful than the gazes you shared, but because years from now, he wanted you to know unquestionably that he heard you. He wanted his last words spoken among this universe to lay with you, for you to hold and remember, and never doubt the eternity of love between you.

You cry out, and your heart shatters in a way that feels so final as he leaves you. Your hands never part from him, and you pull yourself onto the tip of your toes to press one last kiss to his skin.

The storm becomes more violent. You have to go.

[asgard23]

Nothing Left To Fall From

Bucky x Reader

Warning : this has a descriptive scene of cheating , mentions of rape,depression, trauma ,angst, just sad.

Broke my own heart writing this y’all😭

Summary: After a traumatic mission, Y/N pushes her boyfriend Bucky away, struggling with depression and a lack of intimacy. Despite the team's support, a betrayal leaves Y/N in deeper emotional pain, from which she feels she will never recover.

PT.2

The weight of the world felt lighter on your shoulders when he was near. Bucky Barnes. The ghost from the past who became your present, your impossible future. He was everything you hadn't known you needed, a steady anchor in a life that felt constantly adrift. And you loved him – loved him with a fierceness carved from shared scars and unspoken understanding.

But that was before. Before the mission.

The mission had broken something inside you. Something fundamental. A part of you that felt safe, that felt whole, was shattered into a million irreparable pieces. You came back, physically unharmed in the ways that mattered on a medical report, but psychologically fractured. Sleep offered no respite, only a replay of the screams, the smells, his touch.

Depression settled over you like a shroud, suffocating. The vibrant colors of your life had greyed. The captivating beauty people always commented on – it all faded into a monochrome existence. You retreated, not just from the world, but from the person you loved most. From Bucky.

He tried. Oh, how he tried. For six long months since you’d returned, he’d circled you, gentle yet persistent. He held your hand, cooked your favorite meals, just sat beside you in silence, his mere presence a silent plea. "Y/n," he'd whisper, his voice always rough with concern, "Talk to me. Please. What happened?"

But the words were stuck. Glued to your throat by terror and shame. How could you tell him? How could you vocalize the violation? You couldn’t even bear to think about it yourself without the world tilting on its axis.

Intimacy, the connection that had once felt as vital as air between you, became a foreign concept. The thought of touch, of being seen, of vulnerability, it sent shivers of revulsion through you. Sex? It hadn't happened since before the mission. Months of shared nights where he would hold you stiffly, a chasm growing between your bodies as wide as the hole in your heart. You felt his hurt, saw the confusion and pain flicker in his eyes, and the guilt clawed at your insides, adding another layer to the suffering. You loved him desperately, but you were drowning, and you were pulling him down with you.

Fury had insisted on counseling. A S.H.I.E.L.D therapist. You refused. Flatly. The idea of dissecting the horror felt like ripping open a wound that might never close.

Your friends visited, though. Steve, bless his earnest heart, would sit with you, sharing stories. Sam would crack jokes, trying to coax a smile. Wanda, with her gentle empathy, sometimes just sat and held your hand. The entire would visit you regularly.

But it was Natasha who was there most often. Your best friend. Nat. She didn't try to fix you. Didn't ask questions you couldn't answer. She’d climb into bed with you, under the covers, and just hold you. Sometimes you’d sob into her shoulder, the tears endless, and she’d just stroke your hair, murmuring soft comforts. On those days, Bucky would quietly leave. He saw the bond, understood that sometimes you needed a different kind of comfort, maybe one he, with his own complicated past, couldn't currently provide. He trusted Nat. You trusted Nat.

You remember one of those days, curled up with Nat, the world outside a blur. Her presence was a warmth against the coldness inside you. You felt safe with your best friend. Safe. The irony of that word, now.

Sometimes, when you were alone or when sleep finally claimed you, the memories would break through the dam you’d built.

Flashback

The air had the scent of a metallic tang of blood and something chemical. Your breath hitched in your throat. The concrete floor was cold against your skin, damp with an unknown liquid. You tried to move, but restraints dug into your wrists and ankles, biting into your flesh.

He stepped into your line of sight. A Hydra Captain. Not just any operative, but the one who had led the ambush, the one whose face was seared into your nightmares.

His smile was predatory. "Look at her," he sneered. "The beautiful Avenger's pet. So brave on the battlefield."

He knelt down, his touch sending a wave of pure terror through you. As he began to unbuckle his belt.

He leaned closer, his foul breath on your face. "Let's see how brave you are when you can't fight back."

Your screams were swallowed by the thick walls. The world narrowed to the feel of his hands, the cold, and utter powerlessness. You closed your eyes, trying to retreat into yourself, but there was nowhere to go. It went on and on, a timeless horror. Your body felt like it wasn't yours anymore, a vessel being defiled. When it was over, he stood, wiping his hands with a casual indifference that was almost worse than the act itself. He left you there, broken and discarded, the silence echoing with the phantom sounds of your own strangled cries.

End of Flashback

The memory would leave you breathless, trembling, the phantom touch lingering on your skin for hours. That was why you couldn't let Bucky touch you. Why the thought of intimacy was a physical pain. It wasn't him. It was him.

Six months. He'd been so patient, so loving, so hurt. And you had given him nothing. You saw the toll it took on him, the shadow deepening in his eyes. He felt impotent, unable to reach you, unable to help. You were pushing him away, and part of you, the sick, damaged part, wondered if he’d finally give up.

Tonight, though, glimpse of your spark motivated you. You looked in the mirror, really looked for the first time in months. The face staring back was gaunt, shadowed, but beneath the pain, you saw the ghost of the beauty you once knew. You felt a pang of guilt so sharp it stole your breath. He deserved better. He deserved the woman he fell in love with. He deserved you.

Maybe, just maybe, you could try. Try to climb out of the darkness, take a step towards him. You needed to talk to him. To try and explain, even if you couldn't bring yourself to say the worst parts.

You found a dress, the one he loved on you. A simple dress, emphasizing the curves he used to trace with such tenderness. You brushed your tangled hair, applied a touch of makeup, trying to mask the fatigue and sorrow. It felt strange, alien, like wearing someone else's skin.

You needed to see him. Needed to feel his presence, maybe even just sit near him and hold his hand without flinching. You knew he wasn't home. He'd been spending more time at the Tower lately, training late, maybe to burn off energy, or maybe to avoid the suffocating silence of your shared apartment.

You pinged his phone. Location: Avengers Tower. 11:47 PM. A slight frown creased your brow. Why was he here so late? It wasn't a mission night, wasn't a scheduled training. He should be home.

A ripple of unease went through you, quickly dismissed. He was Bucky. He had his reasons. You grabbed your keys and headed out, the cool night air could do nothing to the heat rising in your chest.

The Tower was eerily quiet when you arrived. You walked through the silent corridors. You headed towards the training area, assuming that's where he'd be if he was still here working out.

As you got closer, a sound reached you. Faint at first, then growing louder. Moans. A sound that sent a prickle of alarm up your spine. It was coming from the main combat training room. Your stomach tightened. Who was in there?

You crept closer, the sounds becoming unmistakable. Not sounds of pain or struggle, but of... pleasure. Your heart lurched. Who...? And then, the familiar inflection of a voice, a woman's voice, cut through the air. Natasha.

Panic flared. What was Nat doing in the training room with someone, making those kinds of sounds, this late? A knot of dread formed in your gut. You reached the doorway, peering around the frame, your breath catching in your throat.

The scene that unfolded before you ripped the fragile hope you'd nurtured minutes ago into a million agonizing pieces.

They were on the floor of the padded training mat. Completely naked, slick with sweat under the harsh overhead lights. Your Bucky. And your best friend. Nat.

Natasha was straddling him. Her red hair was damp and plastered to her neck and shoulders. Her breasts, full and bobbing with every movement, were directly in your line of sight. She was riding him, happily, relentlessly, her face tilted back, eyes rolled back in her head, a look of pure, bliss contorting her features. Her strong thighs were clamped tightly on either side of his hips as she bounced and swirled, using his chest for leverage, driving herself down onto him with a rhythm that echoed in the room.

Bucky was lying beneath her, his metal arm thrown back, his organic hand gripping her hip. His face was one of pleasure, eyes heavy-lidded, a low groan rumbling up from his chest as Natasha ground herself against him, taking him deeper with every movement.

You watched, horrified and unable to tear your eyes away. Bucky's metal arm was wrapped around her waist, steadying her, while his human hand reached up, grabbing, fondling her breast. Nat leaned back slightly, bracing her arms on his legs as she continued her mesmerizing swirl on his dick. Bucky’s hand shifted, reaching down, his fingers finding her clit. He began to rub soft circles, then faster, firmer. A move you knew too well, a touch that gave you ecstasy. Now it was hers.

You couldn't breathe. The air was filled with the scent of sex and betrayal. Your Bucky. Your Nat. Like this. Together. The pain that shot through you was instantaneous, devastating. It was worse than the time you'd taken a knife wound to the gut on a mission years ago. That was physical. This was…soul-deep. 

You wanted to run, to turn around and erase the image from your mind, but you were rooted to the spot, unable to tear your eyes away from the horrifying spectacle. You had to admit, through the haze of agony, that Natasha looked beautiful. Powerful, desirable. And it hurt even more. Like a physical blow. All those little things you’d dismissed, those moments of discomfort you’d buried  Natasha's gaze lingering on Bucky a second too long, their playful banter that sometimes felt just slightly charged, her subtle touches. She had wanted him. All along, she had wanted him.

Bucky shifted, placing both his feet flat on the mat. With his lower body now anchored, he began to thrust upwards, meeting Natasha's downward drive with powerful strokes. The sounds intensified. Skin slapping against skin, wet, heavy breaths, urgent moans.

"Oh, Buck! Yes! Just like that!" Natasha cried out, her voice raw with pleasure. Your tears, silent and unnoticed, finally began to run down your face, hot trails on your cold cheeks. You saw he wasn't even wearing protection. He was fucking her raw. This wasn't some brief, meaningless encounter; this felt... intimate. 

Bucky’s voice filled the air. "Oh fuck, Tasha, keep squeezing my dick just like that, you slut," The words, his words, directed at her, twisted the knife deeper. Your vision blurred, but you couldn't look away. You watched as they climaxed.

 And then came the horrifying proclamation, screamed out by your friend Natasha "Cum in me, Buck! Cum in me now!" she threw her head back, a long, drawn-out moan escaping her lips. 

And you saw him nod. "Yeah, baby," he groaned, his thrusts becoming faster, more desperate. He lifted his hips into her one final, shuddering time, burying himself deep inside her. Natasha cried out again, a joyous scream, her body convulsing around him. Bucky let out a guttural roar, his back arching, his face contorted in release as he poured himself into your best friend. Her body slumped onto his, exhausted and satisfied. They lay there for a moment, gasping for breath, the only sounds the ragged inhale and exhale of their lungs.

Then, Bucky shifted slightly. "Nat... we... we can't do this again."

The words hit you like you’d been punched, even softer than Natasha's previous scream.

"Again?" you thought, the small snippet of dialogue splintering your heart further. This hadn't been a one-time mistake, a moment of drunken weakness or unexpected passion. This had happened before.

Your heart was not just broken; it was pulverized. The betrayal was deeper, more sustained than you could have possibly imagined. They had been doing this behind your back.

You couldn’t hear anymore; the heartbreaking reality became overwhelming. Your legs, stiff from standing frozen, finally obeyed. You turned blindly, a gasp caught in your throat that you quickly choked back, suppressing a sob. You stumbled back from the doorframe, your eyes blurred with tears, turning and running, needing only to be away. 

You didn't look back. You ran down the corridor, not caring how much noise you made now your only thought was escape. As you rounded a corner, stumbling slightly on the floor where the carpet ended, something slipped from your clenched hand, something small against your palm moments before. You didn't even notice it fall. Your world had narrowed to the frantic pounding of your own heart and the desperate need to breathe air that wasn't tainted by their betrayal.

Back in the training room, silence settled around Bucky and Natasha as they slowly began to disentangle, catching their breath in the aftermath of the storm. Bucky shifted on the floor, preparing to stand, his gaze sweeping over the area closest to where they lay.

Something small glinted on the concrete floor near the entrance of the room, just beyond where the padded mats ended. It hadn't been there before. He reached for it, curious.

His hand froze as his fingers closed around the cold metal. It was small, a delicate silver charm shaped like a winter flower, intricately detailed, nestled on a thin, worn leather cord.

He knew it instantly. His blood ran cold.

Natasha, starting to sit up, followed his gaze. Her eyes widened, her breath catching in her throat as she saw what he held.

It was the charm Nat had made and given you for your birthday, just a few months ago. A symbol of your friendship, something she knew you cherished and often wore around your wrist or kept in your pocket. Bucky's face drained of colour, mirroring the dawning horror in Natasha's eyes.

The 'last time' was already too late.

They knew. They both knew.

The quiet horror in his eyes, the dread in hers, mirrored the silent scream tearing through your own vanished world as you fled blindly through the empty tower, leaving behind everything you thought you had.

[snowysosturn]

Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 22

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : Y/n x dealer!Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?

Warnings : MDNI, angst, cursing, grief, sadness

I woke up in the late afternoon hours after a restless night of crying. My eyes were swollen and heavy, my body weak and exhausted. I hadn’t eaten since the news broke, and even the thought of food made me feel sick. My stomach growled in protest, but I didn’t care. Hunger was the least of my worries.

I had kept myself locked in my room all night, ignoring the calls and messages that had poured in. Willow had left several voicemails, her voice cracking as she begged me to let her in. I couldn't face her, or anyone, for that matter. I didn’t want comfort or questions. I didn’t want to feel anything at all.

But as the afternoon became the evening, I knew I had to eat. My body felt too weak to keep ignoring its needs, no matter how hollow I felt inside. Something quick and easy, I thought. Just enough to at least one of the aches in my body.

Dragging myself out of bed, clutching Ralph tightly in my arms. The house was eerily quiet as I shuffled down the hallway toward the kitchen, every step heavier than the last.

When I opened the kitchen door, my eyes immediately landed on the chicken sitting on the counter. It was still there, untouched since I abandoned it the moment I thought Nate was dead. 

The sight of it, something so simple, sent me spiraling all over again.

My knees buckled, and I gripped the edge of the counter to steady myself. Tears streamed down my face as the memories of that night flooded back. Chris teasing me about the chicken. The kiss he gave me before he left. The stupid little flick of the fairy lights that had made me smile.

And now he was gone.

I clutched Ralph tighter, holding him against my chest as if he could somehow shield me from the pain. My sobs came hard and fast, shaking my whole body. The room spun, and I sank to the cold tile floor, my back pressed against the cabinets.

I cried until I couldn’t anymore, my tears leaving streaks on my face and my throat raw from the effort. The chicken sat there, mocking me, a reminder of what could’ve been.

I don’t know how long I sat there on the floor, staring at nothing. Time seemed irrelevant, just like everything else.

I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face in Ralph’s fur. “Why, Chris?” I whispered, my voice breaking. “Why did you leave me?”

The silence was deafening, broken only by the sound of my shallow breaths.

I didn’t know how to keep going. How to live with this empty ache where Chris used to be.

All I wanted was to see his face again, so I pulled my phone from my pocket, my fingers trembling as I unlocked the screen. My thumb hovered over the camera roll before I finally opened it. Scrolling through the photos, I stopped on one I’d taken of Chris just days ago.

He was holding Ralph, with that playful grin on his face. The image felt so vivid, so full of life, it made my heart ache. I stared at it, my eyes tracing every detail, the curve of his smile, the sparkle in his eyes, the way his hair fell perfectly without him even trying. How could someone so alive be gone?

Tears blurred my vision, but I wiped them away, determined not to spiral again. I needed to do something, anything, to distract myself.

An idea came to me, something simple but meaningful. I decided to make a little setup in my room for Chris, a small space just for him.

I walked to the office next to the dining room, where we kept the printer and all the other little odds and ends my mom liked to hoard. Connecting my phone to the printer, I selected the photo of Chris and Ralph. The printer whirred to life, and within moments, the picture slid out, warm and vivid.

I picked it up carefully, holding it as though it were something fragile. The photo felt so real, like I could reach out and touch him through it.

Mom loved having photos around the house, so I knew there were bound to be some spare frames tucked away somewhere. I rummaged through a drawer in the office and found a small, simple silver frame. It wasn’t fancy, but it would do.

I slipped the photo into the frame, smoothing it out to make sure it sat perfectly. Staring at it again, I felt a bittersweet pang in my chest. “Perfect” I whispered, my voice breaking just slightly.

With the frame in hand, I walked back to my room. I placed it on my bedside table, positioning it so I could see it the moment I woke up. Ralph sat beside it, a silent reminder of one of the last happy moments Chris and I shared.

It wasn’t much, but it felt like a piece of him was here with me, even if just in spirit. I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the photo for what felt like hours, lost in the memory of the man who had somehow managed to leave such a deep imprint on my heart.

The space was nice, but it still felt like it needed more life. The framed photo of Chris and Ralph on my bedside table was sweet, but the area seemed too plain, too empty for something that meant so much. My eyes flicked to the wall behind it, and an idea crossed my mind.

Fairy lights.

I immediately thought about the ones hanging in the treehouse, how Chris always flicked them on and off in that odd little pattern of his. They would look perfect here, draped on the wall behind the photo and Ralph, giving the space a warm, comforting glow.

But as quickly as the idea came, I shook my head. I didn’t want to touch those lights. That was how Chris left them, his little quirk preserved exactly the way he’d done it. Moving them felt wrong, like I’d be erasing a piece of him.

I sat on the edge of my bed, conflicted, staring at the framed photo as though it would offer me an answer.

“No” I whispered to myself. “The lights stay where they are.”

It felt silly, but those lights in the treehouse meant more to me now than they ever had before. They weren’t just decorations, they were a memory, a connection to Chris and the moments we shared.

Instead, I decided I’d find another way to make the space feel more alive. Maybe I could add a small plant or a candle, something soft and comforting. For now, though, I let the simplicity of the photo and Ralph keep me company. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough.

And that was enough effort from me today. I crawled back into bed, my room once again cloaked in darkness. The weather outside had taken a turn, with heavy rain and howling winds rattling the windows. The eerie atmosphere should have unsettled me, but oddly, it was a little comforting. Maybe a distraction was what I needed.

I grabbed my phone and opened Netflix, scrolling until I landed on Gilmore Girls. It was familiar and safe, exactly what I needed to escape my thoughts. Two episodes passed in a blur, but my mind still refused to quiet. Desperate for more distraction, I switched over to YouTube, hoping an ASMR video might help me fall asleep.

I prefer listening to ASMR with headphones, so I reluctantly got out of bed, trying to feel my way through the pitch black room. The wind outside battered the windows, and a chill seeped through the cracks, sending shivers down my spine.

Then it happened.

That familiar glow on, off, on, off flickered through my window again. My breath hitched as I froze in place. It wasn’t possible. My heart pounded in my chest as I turned toward the faint light. 

“No” I whispered, shaking my head as my pulse quickened. “Not again.”

I froze, staring at the flicker of light. My chest tightened as my mind spun in circles, refusing to make sense of it.

“All I wanted was a distraction” I muttered, my voice trembling. “And all I’m getting is reminders,” 

Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes as frustration and sorrow consumed me. “I need to take the batteries out” I muttered, my voice shaky. “I can’t keep torturing myself like this.”

Grabbing my phone for light, I stumbled toward the balcony door, my heart pounding with every step. I shoved it open, and the icy rain instantly soaked through my clothes. The wind whipped against me as I stepped outside, teeth chattering from more than just the cold.

And then I saw him.

Chris.

Standing in the treehouse, drenched from the rain, illuminated by the soft, flickering glow of the fairy lights. His hands gripped the railing, his face shadowed but unmistakably his.

The world stopped.

My knees buckled, and I collapsed onto the wet balcony floor, unable to breathe. My phone slipped from my hand and clattered to the ground as I stared, my vision blurred by tears.

“Chris?” I whispered, the word barely escaping my trembling lips.

He didn’t move, but his eyes, those familiar eyes, locked onto mine. They were haunted, filled with something unspoken that only made my heart ache more.

“This isn’t real” I choked out, my voice raw. “You’re not real.”

Chris climbed over the balcony, his movements careful but swift, like he was racing against my spiraling emotions. The moment his feet hit the floor, he was in front of me, dropping to his knees and pull me into his arms before I could think to protest. His warmth engulfed me, the familiar scent of him cutting through the storm in my chest. I froze in his embrace, my mind screaming to pull away, but my body betraying me, leaning into the solace I’d craved for what felt like an eternity.

Realistically, I didn’t know whether to feel relief or anger. My heart raced, caught in a brutal tug of war between the two. Relief because he was here, alive, standing in front of me when I thought I’d lost him forever. Anger because he let me believe otherwise, let me break into pieces and drown in the darkest depths of grief.

My hands shook as I tried to steady myself, gripping the edge of the balcony for support to get myself back to my feet. The storm raged around us, lightning cracking in the distance, illuminating his soaked figure in brief, harsh flashes. He looked like a ghost, haunted, tired, but undeniably alive.

“You..” My voice cracked as I tried to speak, but it came out as a whisper. “You’re alive?”

Chris nodded slowly, taking a cautious step forward, his hands raised slightly as if approaching a wounded animal.

“I can explain.” he said, his voice low but steady, though his eyes betrayed the turmoil within.

I stumbled to my feet, my body swaying as a fresh wave of disbelief hit me. “Explain?” I shouted, the storm swallowing my words as I stared at him, my chest heaving. “Explain what, Chris? That you let me think you were dead? That you-”

My voice broke, and I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palms as I tried to hold myself together.

“Please, Y/n” Chris begged, his voice low and steady, though the weight of his plea made my chest tighten. “We can explain.”

“We?” I asked sharply, my voice cutting through the sound of the storm outside.

Chris turned his head in the direction of the front of my house, his eyes narrowing slightly as if searching for the right words. My heart raced, sensing something I wasn’t going to like.

“Yeah” he said, his voice quieter now, almost reluctant. He shifted his gaze to the driveway below.

I followed his line of sight, and my breath caught in my throat. Standing there, drenched from the rain, was Nate. He was standing in front of his car, hands in pockets, staring directly at us with an expression that was impossible to read.

My mind reeled as the pieces began to fall into place. 

He was in on this too?

a/n: sorry for any tears that were shed

taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @bernardsbunny @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg @matts-girlfriend @lvrsturniolo @sophand4n4 @ilovepurpledragons @mattsside @riasturns @sturnslutz @chrisstxrnsaxe

[jjjjeonww]

yoon jeonghan - "Habit."

featuring: yoon jeonghan and you

~~in which, jeonghan has had the habit of calling you, but how will he get rid of it now? inspired by seventeen vcu, Habit. word count - 995. (dont mind the header, i couldn't find anything else related to the song !!) a/n: . . . @hanniescookie @rosiemain, @kyeomviiee this is for u my loves!! okay but frfr, there's gonna be a kyeom fic for kae, and a woozi fic for rosie incoming soon HAHA (its still for u guys anws) and this one is to get back at augustine bc wtf was that seokmin angst dude. it broke my heart. .. jeonghan sat alone in his apartment, the dim lamp casting a soft glow on the pages of the book he wasn't really reading. his mind was elsewhere, as it always was these days. across the room, a framed photograph of you and him caught his eye. you looked so happy in that moment, your smiles wide and genuine. but that was before everything changed.

he remembered the way your laughter would echo through the room, a melody that had become all too rare. even now, the mere thought of you brought a bittersweet ache to his chest. he wanted to believe that he was okay, that time had healed the wound she left behind, but it was a lie. a cruel deception he told himself to keep moving forward.

his gaze drifted to his phone on the coffee table. the urge to call you, to hear your voice one more time, was overwhelming. but he resisted, knowing that it would only reopen the wound, making the healing process even harder. instead, he tossed the phone aside, burying his face in his hands as a sigh escaped his lips.

the silence of the room was deafening, broken only by the distant hum of the city outside. he longed for the days when your laughter and his would fill the space, when they would stay up all night talking about dreams and fears. but those days were long gone, lost to the sands of time and the choices both of you had made.

he closed his eyes, trying to block out the memories that haunted him. but even in the darkness of his mind, he could see you. your smile, your eyes, the way your hair danced in the wind. he was still hopelessly in love with you, and the thought of you having a harder time in moving on brought him a twisted sense of comfort. at least then, he wouldn't be the only one hurting.

but he knew he couldn't wish pain upon you, no matter how much he longed to feel connected to you again. he had to find a way to move on, to build a life without you. even if it meant living with this constant ache in his heart, this habit of loving you that he couldn't seem to break.

you and jeonghan walked hand in hand through the park, your laughter echoing through the trees. you had met by chance, eyes locking across a crowded room, and from that moment on, you were inseparable. you had become the light to his dark days, the warmth that chased away the chill that had settled in his bones before he had known you. with you by his side, everything seemed brighter, more vibrant, more alive. your smile was contagious, your joy a melody that he couldn't get enough of.

as you strolled through the park, the autumn leaves crunching beneath your feet, jeonghan pulled you closer, his arm wrapped around your waist. you leaned into him, your head resting on his shoulder, a picture of contentment and belonging. he never wanted this moment to end, never wanted to let you go.

"do you remember when we first met?" you asked, voice soft and nostalgic. "i knew from the moment i saw you across that room that you were someone special. your eyes, they held a depth, a sadness that I wanted to understand, to heal."

jeonghan smiled, the memory of that night etched into his mind. he had been attending a gallery opening with a friend, not expecting to meet the love of his life. but then your eyes had met, and everything had changed. "i remember," he said, his voice low and filled with emotion. "i felt it too, that instant connection. like a part of me had found its way home."

you both continued to walk, lost in their thoughts and the memories of their love story. you had been through so much together, weathered storms and celebrated triumphs. his love for you had only grown stronger, more resilient, with each passing day.

as they approached the old oak tree where they always sat, jeonghan pulled you into a tight embrace. cupping your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that threatened to fall. "i love you," he whispered, his forehead pressed against yours. "i love you more than anything in this world. i want to spend the rest of my life loving you, y/n."

you smiled, a brilliant, radiant smile that took his breath away. "I love you too," you whispered back, your eyes shining with unshed tears. "forever and always, jeonghan. no matter what happens, no matter where life takes us, you will always be my home. my heart, my everything."

you sealed that promise with a kiss, a kiss that spoke of passion, of love, of a future that stretched out before you like an endless, beautiful road. ..

you were invincible, untouchable. the world could burn down around you both, and you would still have each other. that was the power of your love for each-other, the unbreakable bond they had forged through countless trials and triumphs.

but as with all things in life, your story was not destined to be a fairy tale. the path you walked together wasn't always smooth, and the weight of your past mistakes and misunderstandings would eventually take a toll. the arguments that started as mere disagreements grew louder, more heated, until the unthinkable happened.

one day, after a particularly nasty fight, you had walked away. you had left your shared apartment, taking only a small bag with your most precious belongings. you had left him behind, and with your departure, you had taken a piece of his heart with you.

and now as he sits in his once shared apartment, he feels his lips, the one that used to always call you, go completely dry, he realizes it's become a habit, a habit of calling you.

[heartpiratedrabbles]

Insecurities Part 2

Part 1 ~ Part 3 Part 4

Buggy X Fem Reader

Buggy was unreasonably angry, he knew it. He couldn’t understand why you had been continuing this ruse for so long. He slammed the bathroom door, leaving you in there and looked around, detaching his hands to grab clothes and get dressed quickly. He stepped on a piece of your discarded costume and it filled him with rage and sadness looking at it.

Quickly he grabbed a bag and rummaged in a chest to set some berries aside. He couldn’t have such a distraction around him anymore. He quickly gathered your things that had been placed in a few places in the room and stuffed them in the bag. He listened to see if you had moved in the bathroom and was slightly relieved that you hadn’t come out yet. The face you made before he left had broken his heart but he was sure that it was all apart of the act you had started playing so long ago.

Once most of your items were gathered Buggy grumbled leaving the room, if he had missed anything you could grab it yourself. He needed to be gone, his resolve would break if he saw you again. He stormed out of the room heading to his office to cool off, not even bothering to put his makeup on for the day.

~~~

        It wasn’t until late at night that Alvida was the one to break Buggy’s silence. He had made it clear he didn’t want to be disturbed and seeing the former captain saunter in with a knowing smirk pissed him off to no end. “Must’ve been an eventful night~” She laughed sitting down in a chair pouring out some wine for herself, “I haven’t even seen Y/N all day. You really must be gentler with her.”

        That name made Buggy go over the edge, “Never mention her in front of me again” he slammed his fists on his desk and glared at Alvida who seemed genuinely shocked at your outburst. “If she knows what’s good for her, she’d be gone by now.”

        “What does that mean? Buggy you didn’t kick her out, did you?” Alvida stood up, her normally composed self disappearing, “She’s been here since before me!” Buggy threw a knife in her direction.

        “She shouldn’t have played with fire then” Buggy was seething, he had almost forgotten that you were a senior member of the crew and it brought another wave of betrayal and anger to wash over him.

        “She wasn’t playing with fire you idiot” She slammed her mace down onto Buggy’s desk and got in his face, “I was so fucken sick of listening to her swoon over you that I convinced her to take her shot.”

        Buggy stopped for a second thinking about words he just heard, “That’s impossible Alvida and you fucken know it. Now get out of my fucken face.” There’s no way anything between the two of you had been real.

        “Fine but I better see that poor girl tomorrow otherwise there will be hell to pay.” Alvida murmured slamming the door on her way out. Buggy sat back down angry, He guessed Alvida was right, he couldn’t just kick you out entirely. You did have rather large roles. Best to demote you and avoid coming into contact, but to just kick out someone whose been apart of the crew for so long would be insane.

        He certainly wasn’t going to talk to you so he sent word through Cabaji to let you know of your new position. Much to his dismay though he couldn’t find you anywhere. Your roommates hadn’t seen you since yesterday and all your items were still in their quarters but no one had seen a single sight of you.

        Out of frustration Buggy stormed to his own room, assuming you hadn’t even left yet. He burst into the room nearly taking the door off its hinges but stopped when he looked at the bed. He quickly noticed that the bag he had prepared for you was missing, but the satchel of berries was laying right there. He looked else where in the room and found nothing else disturbed before his eyes glanced over at his vanity, noticing a neatly wrapped box.

        He grabbed it, and sat of the bed, no doubt this was your work, no one else would even bother wrapping anything, opting to just hand it to Buggy instead. He slowly ripped open the box, his breath hitching at the content inside.

        He thumbed the pages looking at your handy work, “Always the sentimental type,” He muttered under his breath looking at a neatly written paragraph explaining the photo right above it. As he flipped through, he was shocked to see drops of water appear on the pages below him and without realizing it he was full blown crying.

~~~

It had been a couple of days since you disappeared, everyone had hoped that you’d come back since you left, to their knowledge, without any money and without most of your belongings. They had assumed you were just sulking somewhere and that you’d come back once you calmed down, but as the days passed the outcome became bleaker.

~~~

The first couple of months from the crew were hard. You were use to the daily grind of preparing for a show and making sure the service was running smoothly. Ignoring your relationship with Buggy, you were also the main trapeze artist and escapist act for the circus, and you were in charge of assigning groups to missions on your off days from the circus.

        On top of going from island to island, you had to be careful as you were still a wanted criminal. Your bounty being 20 million Berries, made bounty hunters come looking for you, as soon as word got out that you, we no longer on Karai Bari. Early on Cabaji and Alvida also tried to get a hold of you but you ignored it, answering the bare minimum questions that you were alright and alive before hanging up. You didn’t know why they were contacting you but it hurt too much to hear voices of people you couldn’t see again. Opting instead to sell your transponder snail to help change your appearance enough to not be recognized.

        You dyed your hair and put made sure to wear clothes that covered every tattoo, choosing to look like a normal islander over the performer/pirate you look you had grown accustomed to over the years. You never stayed on an island for too long, a week or two at most to evade prying eyes from realizing who you were. You still needed to time to figure out what you’d be doing from now on, where’d you go. You thought about all the previous times you had restarted your life, how every time it was by no choice of your own.

The thought to join another pirate crew had crossed your mind but immediately left a sour taste in your mouth, you didn’t want to follow someone who wasn’t Buggy. He was your one and only captain, even if he no longer wanted you. Your thoughts wondered towards the circus and how happy it had made you to just preform. Hearing the applause as you swung across a chasm or got out of a box made your heart beat with joy. It was risky to get back into the business, it’d put you in center of attention again. Ultimately though, you thought it’d be best to do something you enjoyed rather than wander the world lonely.

After much thought throughout the weeks, you decided it’d be best to save up the money and start your own circus, certainly not on the grand line, that’d be too close to Buggy. You set your sights for the South Blue and let yourself relax now that you had a goal in mind. For now, you were still very much in the New World and needed a way to 1) make money and 2) get there.

What was also starting to concern you was the lack of period you had experienced since you had left, although the thought wasn’t really there. In the past, your period had stopped for 4-5 months before because of stress, and you certainly were in no lack of stress at the moment. For now, you’d rather sleep the night a little more comfortable now that you had decided on your path.

~~~

Alvida was able to get a hold of you for a quick conversation but you had kept it short and non-descript, not answering any questions about where you were or where you were heading. Buggy had faced Avida’s wrath for chasing away her favorite crewmate but he was dealing with a lot more emotions than just that. When Cabaji tried calling you, you had answered but he quickly realized you weren’t going to say anything.

The longer without you the more everyone realized just how much you did. When Buggy created his delivery service most of his crew choose one side to stay apart of, the circus, or the service. But you had somehow managed to do both, arranging practices and new routines for acrobatics while also overseeing groups training and sending the appropriate groups to whatever battle needed it. It was stressful having to catch up with what jobs you were no longer doing. And having to explain your disappearance was more painful, making Buggy push everything onto Mohji or Cabaji.

Buggy went through your belongings, one of your roommates bringing the chest of items when he demanded it. He pushed aside some clothing and Knick knacks before he laid his eyes on a journal that looked well-loved. He sat back as he untied the leather string that kept the journal closed. The first page seemed to have been dated 13 years prior. He flipped to the back of the journal, still a decent amount of empty pages but he finally found the last entry, dated just a day before he had kicked you out.

~4 months~

You couldn’t ignore it anymore; you had somehow made it to the beginning of the Grand line but with a more dire matter rearing it’s head you had to stop and figure it out. You had gained a significant amount of weight, ‘popping’ within the past 2 weeks as some of the people you were traveling with said.

        Right now, you were on a semi-busy island, one that most people stop at to re-stock their ships before venturing further and you were waiting in a small doctors’ office. You had tried to deny it but it was becoming a nuisance. The nausea at the smell of foods, the waking up to puke. And what would you do? It was painful to think about how you ended up where you were.

        The door opened stopping your thoughts and the doctors closed the door behind her, “Well Y/N, congratulations. It seems your about 17 weeks pregnant. Although you are much larger than an average pregnancy.” Your heart stopped hearing these words, “I’d recommend you stop you’re travelling. With how fast the baby is developing I wouldn’t be shocked if you had a short pregnancy.”

        You sit there thinking for a second, “What do you mean a short pregnancy?”

        “Well, most pregnancies are around 9 months. But that’s with 2 normal humans.” The doctor got out a small chart you’d never seen before, “We’ve noticed that when people copulate with others, say Fishmen or Giants for example, the gestation period can be much shorter or longer. And based on the information you’ve given us I’d expect your due date to be somewhere within the next month or two.” The doctor pointed out the information on the chart as she explained it to you.

        Your head was reeling, was Buggy not human? You knew his nose was different but that didn’t mean he wasn’t human. The doctor took your silence as a way to continue, “I’d highly recommend you’d settle down until you give birth. Traveling could put you and your child in danger. Would you like to contact the father? We have a great office of the island that can track down most anyone.” She rubs your arm a bit, “Until then I’d like to see you in the office at least once a week, especially since you’ve been out on the sea without any pre-natal vitamins this entire time.”

        You sit there placing your hands on your stomach. You couldn’t continue your journey like this, and what’s more what will you do when they’re born? Tears brimmed your eyes, “Ah- Of course we do have other options if you’d rather not have the child” The doctor quickly added seeing you slightly tremble.

        You snapped your head up and then looked down at your stomach again. Despite everything, you couldn’t bare the thought of giving them up, “No- ah sorry. I’m just, I’m overwhelmed at the news. Is there a place I could stay for a while?” You rub one of your eyes before looking up at the doctor with a meek smile.

        The doctor sighs a bit seeing you calm down, “Of course, I have a friend who has a spare room, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind helping you out.”

~~~

Buggy hasn’t been the same without you. He was easier to anger and started doing more dangerous acts, pushing everyone to work harder. His crew didn’t know whether he was encouraging everyone to work their hardest or if he was trying to push them over the edge and no one tried to figure it out either.

He had taken his time to read through your journal when he got lonely and realized he never got to actually know you. His heart sank the more he realized that he just forced you to go with his own current, not caring about your life. He read as your life seemed bleak and dark before taking a uphill turn when you joined his crew. He smiled as he read your first impression of him as, “A charming blue-haired savior.” And he vaguely remembered the day himself.

        He had mistakenly decided to raid an island that had a celestial dragon on it, apparently the island made a tribute every couple of years by offering a maiden as a slave. You were there in the cage, contorting you body to make it easier to escape, the movements had intrigued him and he offered you a spot on his crew. He remembers you being surprised that he was even there, your doe eyes staring up at him before you smiled, revealing a key between your teeth that you used to unlocked yourself from the restraints before taking his hand. He couldn’t help but to remember a few tears fall from your eyes despite your smiling.

        His heart ached at all the memories that were resurfacing, before continuing to read your journal. Every big adventure written in remembrance, the read of your admiration towards him for changing plans when “the idiot in a straw hat” came by and it made Buggy chuckle as your recollection of the events. Closing the journal whenever he couldn't read anymore.

~6 Months~

Gin helped you to your appointment. When you had met him, you were on guard, but he’s the first one to open up to you about being an ex-pirate himself and how he settled down to help those in need. Just like how someone had helped him when he was starving. He didn’t seem to mind that you had stayed longer than expected and even offered you the place until you felt the child was old enough. Even pushing for you to raise the child a bit before continuing your adventure, after you had told him you wanted to start a circus, so that you wouldn’t have to worry about the newborn.

        But much of that talk was hushed as your stomach was now ballooned and you hadn’t felt any contractions as of yet. Dr. Shiegi was already waiting for you in her office when you arrived. Gin was about to sit in the waiting room when you looked back, “You know Gin. If you want to come in you can,” It was a friendly gesture, he had become like a protective brother since you’ve met him and he seemed overjoyed for a second before calming himself back down to be composed as he walked into the office and taking a seat there.

        Dr. Shiegi was mulling over papers after doing all the normal check-ups, “Are you sure the father isn’t from elbaf???” She was stressing herself over your due date and how large you were becoming. “I just can’t seem to pin-point anything, if I knew more about the father maybe-“ She stopped herself as she realized it was a bit of a sore subject for you.

        You sighed while smiling, a hand gently placed on your stomach, “As long as the baby’s healthy I don’t mind waiting.” The doctor across from you sighing heavily.

        “This is making me as stressed as when I was a student Y/N. How are we supposed to prepare anything if you have no idea when you’ll go into labor??” She took a deep breath before getting up to get herself some tea, pouring you a cup as well.

        “Well, there’s no use in stressing over what you can’t control,” you muse taking the cup from her extended hand, “So how was everything else?” Taking a sip.

        “You and the baby both seem to be healthy as can be, I cannot stress though you shouldn’t be working right now. Don’t think Gin hasn’t told me about you trying to sneak out to help in the garden or build things. You need bed rest especially with this unknown due date,” She stressed her words as she sat back down.

        “I feel fine, besides I’ll go crazy if I don’t do anything. I’m use to moving around a lot and I’m sure my baby agrees,” You smiled a bit as she groaned and you could feel Gin’s worried stare in the side of your head, “But if it makes you feel better, I’ll cut back a little bit.” Dr. Shiegi sighed a bit leaning back, willing to accept this small compromise for now.

        “By the way Y/N, have you thought about any names?” Gin seemed to perk his ears at this as you hadn’t talked to him about it either.

        You chuckled a bit, “I know it sounds silly but I was thinking of Benji or Azure. Either way I’ll raise them for the spotlight” Truth be told you were hoping for a girl and you couldn’t help but to imagine what a cute baby with a bright red nose would look like.

        “Not the weirdest I’ve heard, and if you’re raising them for the circus the names fit in well,” Gin piped into the conversation again a small twinkle in his eye at the thought of a child running around. You could tell he had taken on an uncle role already with how much he was doting on your unborn child, every now and then he let his hard shell fall to reveal it.

~~~

Another lonely night led Buggy back to your journal, this time to an entry of his time in Impel Down. You had been worried about your captain's well-being and if you'd ever see him again, only sighing in relief when you got the news that he had escaped only to be terrified when he had appeared in the Paramount War, broadcasting everything for the world to see. You had written about how it was stupid of him to go in there with little to no plan, but how it was exactly who you knew him to be. Proud that he hadn't changed while behind bars.

The more he read the more he realized how much you had been watching him for much longer than you had been sleeping with him. There was even mention on how Alvida bullied you about your school girl crush on the captain and how your first night with him had been because of the domineering womens interference.

Buggy had realized all his mistakes, even with his own self-doubts he was regretting everything. He never thought that anyone would truly love him, nor would he have ever thought they’d put up with how obnoxious he was all the time.

~~~

"We have to find her,” Buggy demanded bursting into the room. He brought his closest advisors into the meeting, Mihawk and Crocodile were meant to be there but they’d be damned if they were to actually be bossed around by him.

        “What do you think we’ve been doing this entire time behind your back,” Alvida mumbles, using a file to fix her nails, “Do you really think I’d ever let her escape without an attempt at finding her?”

        “The problem is she knows how to disappear,” Cabaji chimed in, “we lost track of her after she was seen escaping some marines a couple months back.” Buggy’s heart quickened at the mention of marines.

        “Why didn’t you report to me on any of this, What if she’s in trouble?” He demanded slamming a fist into the table.

        “What so you could tell us to fuck off and that your decision is final?” Alvida glowered at him, “Besides if marines caught her there would have been news on it, I’m sure she’s off hiding somewhere. We just have to look for what she loved and follow any leads.” And so started the full-scale project to find you.

~8 months~

Dr. Shiegi was stressing beyond belief, you were much larger than any pregnancy she had seen before and was starting to get worried about your own wellbeing. And you had to admit, it was getting much harder to walk around with a stomach the protruded as far out as it did. Gin was more than happy to let you sit and do everything for you, but you didn’t like being doted and waited on, you’d much rather be out and about but it seemed as though your child had other plans.

        Gin had also noticed how lonely you got at times. You had seen an updated bounty poster of Buggy on the street and had taken it without a second thought. You read of how he had been moving around, making waves in the New World. When you thought you were alone, you’d look and talk to the poster as though it were Buggy you were talking too.

        You weren’t sure how your old Captain would take the news of having a child soon, but it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be a part of their life, but it brought you some solace to just talk about your dreams of raising them to be an amazing performer, a headliner no doubt for the circus you were sure to start when your body was your own again.

        Gin would sometimes listen to you through the doorway without you realizing, usually making noise to alert you to his presence. He had convinced you to stay on the island until your child was at least a year old, and you hadn’t told him yet but you were thinking of settling down and starting your circus here. No one knew who you were here, or if they did, they didn’t care. There were enough other ex-pirates or people hiding their identities on the island that people didn’t pry, they were happy with the present and didn’t question the past.

        You felt a rather hard kick against your stomach and Gin glanced over at you with concern, “I think it’ll happen any day now,” you say soothing your stomach.

~~~

Buggy was going insane, he had sent troops out to every nearby island to look for you. Every convoy came back empty and Alvida was beating on him every day there wasn't a sign of you. "There's no one else competent around here," She had yelled at him throwing her club in his direction.

The longer you were away the more reckless Buggy became, making a larger impact on those around him, and more importantly, the world around him. He had ransacked a couple Navy bases and didn't show signs of stopping.

~9 Months~

Dr. Shiegi was stationed at the end of the bed and Gin was wiping your forehead with a wet towel. It had been 30 hours already and you’ve never felt this pain before. You were gripping the bed with all your might listening to Dr. Shiegi’s commands. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea, thoughts of Buggy kept rising up that brought waves of a different pain. Would he approve of this? You doubt it, the last time you looked at him he only held hatred for you.

        Soon enough though, you could hear a crying and breathed a sigh of relief hearing ‘it’s a boy’ before you felt another jolt of pain, letting out another scream. Your baby was quickly handed off to Gin as Dr. Shiegi took her place again concern filling her face.

        After a long process you finally felt a relief. You were to dazed to hear what was being said and let darkness befall you.

~~~

You woke up to Shiegi wiping your forehead and looked around trying to sit up, “Hey calm down everything’s alright. You need rest right now.”

“Where’s my baby?” You ignore her concern and adjust to lean against the back of the bed, wincing a bit in pain. Your doctor and friend sighs before leaving the room for a second.

She comes back in holding a bundled blanket, Gin following behind her with another bundle, “Y/N. I’m an idiot, I never thought of the possibility of twins,” You look at the two blankets registering her words, “So I’d like you to meet your two healthy baby boys,” She smiled handing you one baby as Gin sat next to you holding the other.

You look down holding in a gasp, The newborn in your hand had a few locks of blue hair and a nose the was similar to his fathers, you quickly look at Gins arms and he takes the hint to settle the child in your other arm. Twins. They looked exactly the same, the flood of emotions you felt as you stared at your beautiful babies was too much that you started to cry a bit.

The pain was worth it, the months on this island was worth it, you couldn’t think of a single thing better than that of the two bundles of joy right in front of you.