#and now here i am. analyzing text for clout. and all i needed was to be extremely abnormal about said text

[daz4i]

it's funny how in school i was constantly failing literature and reading comprehension tests and essays but now in 2023 my tumblr niche is known for making long and detailed analysis posts. amazing what just a little bit of autism can change ✨️

[jesskasb]

EXTREMELY LONG POST AHEAD YOUVE BEEN WARNED. DO YOU LOVE THE COLOR OF MY WORDS?

i've been so scared of posting my opinions about recent media because i want to maintain some kind of unproblematic agreeable image out here. i don't want to say i enjoyed something for fear that enjoying it means i am morally required to reblog or discuss every critique others have to make sure people know i am aware that it is not perfect. i suppose this comes from this increased ideology that people who like things need to do so critically at all times, and they need to demonstrate that or they're a bad person; which is stupid, obviously, but i have somehow internalized that because i wanted to make the small of audience of this blog to know im not stupid or "problematic" or whatever. which is another stupid thing to want because this blog is supposed to be for ME and not other people, and ive always tried to uphold that mentality by posting whatever i wanted and always saying my thoughts in the tags. but obviously, my feelings have had something else to say about it and ive been holding back opinions and expressing my enthusiasm for things because of how that enthusiasm may be perceived and misinterpreted, even though im aware that everything ever will be misinterpreted by somebody eventually and that is out of your control and its ok. this dissonance between what my logic tells me and how i actually feel has been bothering me a lot. even now im like oh i should put this under a read more so it doesnt bother people! while logically i know i want to post this as is because its some meaningful introspection for ME and thats what matters, truly. it's why i have this app in the first place. so i can express myself through text in eays i can't in real life for one reason or another.

either way it seems i've fallen into the social media trap of making everything content and palatable to as many people as possible, making things relatable and clever so others will enjoy it and i will be known as someone to be liked. all for the fleeting dopamine of a like and a reblog or a follow.

and then, because these feelings frustrate me and i have been in denial about them, i have also fallen into the trap of the "let people enjoy things" mentality. that scares me because it just goes to show how easy it is for someone to slowly get on the side of perpetuating a lack of media literacy or even shit like proshipping and stuff, when actually my feelings are not related to that at all but rather a dissonance between wanting to be palatable for everyone and wanting to talk about my interests when the reality is that there is not really anyone stopping me from saying whatever i want except for myself. im the only one who cares about this and the only one that is bothered. i've always looked down on a "what will they say" mentality and i hate that i've become so used to the way ive been thinking that i started ignoring the fact that i shared the mentality.

ok im just repeating myself now. point is. i want to work on getting back the mentality of posting for myself and being honest with my opinions not because i want to start discussions or get clout for being opinionated but rather because i truly enjoy analyzing things and expressing my thoughts. so. in an effort to do just so ive decided to unpack some of the media that have really reinforced the need to conform.

• let's start with the biggest elephant in the room: oppenheimer. i know! i know. no fucking wonder. "but hear me out!!!!" (headass need to justify everything i say and do so i wont be perceived incorrectly). i went to watch it with my stepdad at 11pm after the rest of our family went out to have boba tea without us bc we were resting, even though we LOVE boba and they couldve simply asked if we wanted to go. so the whole outing to the movies was spontaneous revenge and i loved that. it was a great bonding experience. in the parking lot we found two 20 dollar bills on the floor and the way we both dived to pick them up was hilarious. he was faster than me. we got some shitty churros and no popcorn and into the movie we went. now, the movie itself, i honestly did not like it and didnt have a good time, i was trying soo hard not to fall asleep. i was sleep deprived, tired, and honestly science and politics arent my thing at all. and that is obviously beside the fact that the whole plot was hard to follow because they tried so hard to make the audience sympathize with oppenheimer and frame it as if he really knew no better than to participate in the war and making the choice to kill thousands of japanese civilizatians. i was trying not to chew my arm off at the theater. ugh.

i will say i found the use of audiovisual distortion to represent dissociation and high stress brilliant. obviously its not the first media to do this but i think it made amazing use of the audio of a theater and the nature of film. i saw that post about how "if i cant see a movie in the comfort of my house and i have to go see it at the theater to get the full experience then its not very good" and i honestly think thats bogus. in fact im glad and i agree that something that can only be experienced in a theater full of people with good audio and a giant screen has value. chris nolan may be pretentious about it and fuck him but its like. the nature of a thater itself is not stupid and streaming it is different. theaters are about getting together with fellow humans and seeing something live and valuing the fleetingness of not being able to replicate that same exact experience again. whether its a musical or a play or a film youll never see the exact same thing with the exact same audience. and theres beauty in that.

• barbie was fun. it was different and refreshing from the usual stuff in mainstream theaters and i can really respect it for that. i cant believe mattel allowed that depiction of their own company to be in there but yeah theyre winning in the end. really good marketing. when the girl called out barbie for doing irreparable damage to the feminist movement i thought that was very based... im really biased because when i was younger, as a little hispanic poc girl who was chubby and kind of weird, i was just so bitter about everything that barbie was. because she wasnt me. she wasnt like me. she was like everything everyone said was pretty and that idea of pretty wasnt me. and i hated it. i wouldnt play with my blonde white barbies and i was obsessed with the one tan barbie with curly haired i had. she was a ballerina in a blue leotard and a tutu. i took off the tutu because i thought it was too feminine and i wasnt too feminine and i wanted her to be like me. but i still knew i could never be a ballerina because i was chubby and not athletic. it was the closest a barbie doll would ever get to being me though, and i was satisfied. i ended up relating more to my entire collection of g3 ponies than barbies.

going back to the movie; i think the message is important even if it wasnt handled perfectly. its a step in the right direction. we've been talking about this for YEARS and it has finally made its way to be told directly in an extremely mainstream movie. thats good! im glad! and i had fun laughing my ass off at the funny parts with my friends. i was ready to watch it alone after a hangout with my friends but some of them decided to join me and i love it. im very happy ive found people who want to go out with me and include me and like being around me and respect me. its been a while. i coughed a lot during the movie and my friend said "...do you need a cough drop, alex" at the end of the movie and i was so embarrassed and it was funny. my car keys fell in between the seats and it was scary but the employees were really nice about it. when magic ring ken appeared i yelled COCKRING KEN! and it sent my friends and a stranger next to me into hysterics. i had a great time and i wont forget it.

• good omens. neil gaiman has been a figure of great dissonance for me. i genuinely like his books and posts but im also aware that saying you like his work comes with all this other stuff that people assume is true, especially on tumblr, because he can also be really annoying. i dont support EVERYTHING he does of course but i love good omens and at the same time i was scared of what people would assume about me for sharing posts of season 2 and being excited about it. loved the first season of good omens and i was criminally deranged about it back in 2019. i liked the new season a lot! (SPOIILERS AHEAD SKIP TO AFTER THE Picture IF YOU WANT TO AVOID THEM) i missed the characters a lot and michael sheen and david tennant are just such stellar actors and you can really tell how much they like aziraphale and crowley. and gosh i just love when everyone involved in a production is as passionate about it as fans are. i will say michael and beelzebubs thing felt really fanservicey and i wasnt the target audience for their relationship. heres some more thoughts i want to share

besides that i mean fuck i would watch aziraphale and crowley talk about the weather for an hour. their banter is amazing. i also love the final episode drama. i just love mythology and exploring how all the fantastic bullshit fits into the real world. its why i like percy jackson so much, and i think gaiman really succeeds at urban fantasies (or magical realism?? not sure) extremely well. im not familiar with the work of terry pratchett but someone whose opinion i value likes his books so i wanna check em out one day. i had a good time with good omens and im excited for season 3. got a lot of theories but im lucky i have a friend to talk that to about so i wont keep you here much longer.

• the witcher. im SO passionate about the witcher show you guys have no idea i got my entire family to watch it and im able to connect all the dots and shit i love the world building i love the characters i LOVE LOVE JASKIER. but i hate the writing. i hate that i havent read the books and im progressing incredibly slowly through wild hunt so i feel like a poser and not a true fan. i hate that its so mainstream and i hate the way that i hate that. my feelings about this are not as dissonant and strong as the past three media i listed but i feel like it was the first straw. i just have this need to justify liking it and saying oh its not a good show but i like it haha sorry. IM NOT SORRY! I ENJOY IT A LOT, FLAWS AND ALL! AND I THINK ITS GOOD BECAUSE I AM STILL WATCHING! but i will stop watching after this season i refuse . liam hemsworth makes me puke while henry cavill is not only attractive but he genuinely cares about geralt and the witcher series and i dont want to watch something where the lead is just a replacement for someone who wanted better conditions and treatment and didnt receive it. fuck

• young royals. i just shat on it heavily back when it started trending on tumblr bc i thought it was some stupid teen drug show that had some shallow romance but honestly i think it was the internalized homophobia talking idk i gave it a shot and im LIVING for the drama and the cringe that comes with being a teenager and i love the setting and i love that everyone is so flawed and human and real.

• alice oseman's work. i actually dont know much about her as a person and author but i also shat on heartstopper when it became mainstream because the tv show annoyed me. i tried it, but the first episode left me feeling uncomfortable and icked so i quit and have been hating on it since without even giving the graphic novels a glance. i read the synopsis of her novel solitaire and a review compared it to catcher in the rye and i thought that was so fucking stupid. catcher in the rye, really? the creator of HEARTSTOPPER, making something that can even be of the same tone as catcher in the rye? bah, impossible. when i picked up i was born for this, i thought itd be a shitty and fluffy fan/celebrity book but i was just so desperate for trans rep. and then i pulled an all nighter to read it and i realized it was GOOD and had a lot of layers that impressed me. i had underestimated alice oseman's writing skills by SO much and i dont like thar i was so cynical. i started reading solitaire and man. it is dark. and evidently inspired by catcher in the rye. i am not done with it yet but from what i read so far.... holden, you have some competition.

solitaire is told from the pov of the sister of one of the heartstopper voice. through this book i learned that actually the heartstopper boy has a LOT of serious issues. i wonder if the graphic novels handle it better than the tv show. i hope they do! if they dont, then , well, i can say with confidence that i enjoy her books even if heartstopper isnt my thing.

ok i think thats all. if you read all that, post picture of an animal. i dont know. like and subscribe! i am growing as a person and i think thats beautiful. whatever. rolls my eyes and walks away

[alottamoney]

Lisa anon here.You are not a cynic.Two third of the army thinks whatever they see on Tv, whatever bh says is the ultimate truth. This is the most bizarre phenomenon that maybe is as close to a cult as I have seen so far.Even nature documentaries are rearranged for giving suspense and dramatic shots.But an entertainment company that makes money by dancing,singing and putting out reality content wouldn't because they made pinky promise.Okay.

Why Jungkook chose Jimin is simple.Why Jimin filled the gap that taekook apparently left out is even simpler.It is because 1. Jimin wanted to. 2. There was an opportunity for career growth. Jimin is a clout chaser.If being bff with a goat would get him to the peak, you would see everywhere "Jimin bff with goat". In early years of bts Tae was popular.He hung out with Tae.Then he was teamed with Taekook.Then from 2017 when Tae fell out of favour with bh,Jimin was with JK.A lot can be said regarding Jimin's primary goal and how it changed with each era, how his ambition changed, and it really deserves a post on its own. Him always putting bts first no matter what,ride or die,shows he can't separate himself from bts to the point that he doesn't want other members to do it too.He will stand against them if they moved against BTS.He has mentioned he cut off close friends because they were speaking bad about the member/s.In early 2018 he and JK publicly teamed up to peer pressure Tae I think because Tae was really reconsidering renewing his contract.He knew if Tae goes,JK will go too.At the outset of that year that was supposed to happen.Tae wanted to leave.No one had any major problem.But when Kookie wanted to leave that was when everyone went mental.Only Suga supported them unconditionally.The texts that only the two got.Jin mentioned Kookie would stay in his room all day in 2018 and shut himself in.Tae left the house in 2018 February.JK has lived with Tae from 2011.I think I don't need to emphasize how big of a shock that was to JK.He grasped at anything to cope.He completely changed his persona.He was on medication probably.I say this because this sudden surge of confidence,chanting this mantra of I love myself,I am happy over and over again, these were completely,and I mean completely opposite of JK up until even January 2018.Jimin actually listened to him at that time.He in the beginning helped Tae get to JK in 2016.After that due to bh interference, jimin and JK became bff more than Vmin.That period wasn't the problem.The problem started in 2018 when V realized Jimin was tending to his interest first and JK was embroiled in it.Jikook had a symbiotic relationship without knowing.

Jungkook wants Tae like he is oxygen and this is not funny.He really can't think straight if they are not close anymore.He has found a father,lover,brother,mentor everything in Tae and this dependence got a reality check when Tae moved out.He tried to fill that with Jimin's affection for a time.He really tried moving away from that emotional dependence.This is complete conjecture but I think JK spilled secrets to Jimin that he shouldn't have about Tae and taekook because that's how introverts roll.When they are close with someone that's where all their secrets go.That's why I think it's not a Jimin problem.He is an independent agent working for his goal with whatever resource is available to him.It is a jungkook problem.If Jimin is not there to listen to him, he will look for other distractions.He needs to fill up that gaping void where Tae resides during good times.

I agree taekook is not the sort to discuss.People came in too late in the fandom.Taekook have done a lot of early relationship courting behavior in 2013- 2014 when they were very young.After 2015 they were not in the stage of figuring out if they liked each other.They knew they liked each other since 2015.People are wrong when they try to find signs of liking in 2020.They are over and done with all of that now they have hit the boring phase but they keep it exciting nevertheless.

I want to mention something interesting.There is a lot of talk about how JK's stare at Tae is not special because he stares at everyone.But this is the only pair where one involved(Tae) gestures the other(JK) to look away and stop looking.This has happened multiple times.Snowwhite Tae behind the scene,before spine breaker mv shooting,in one of the US interviews with Hoseok in between.

The memories 2020 segment that I described,and the almost kissing scene should confirm to people that Jimin does things to his own end.No he is not coming in between taekook.But he was mocking Tae. Taekook cannot act that way in public.If Jimin still did that gimmick, that means it's nothing serious to him.Which is tremendously insensitive to the lgbt causes.Knowing Tae didn't like it,he raised his brow AT TAE like saying 'What are you gonna do?'.Members are going to invite him to their wedding like 'wish you could come but you are so busy don't you have that thing on that very day so unfortunate we know you will be with us in spirit bye'. No wonder they are estranged from him.And Kookie acted like my dog when she hears 'bath time'.Pretend you are not here. Jungkook is thinking he is performing the sacred duty of holding bts together.He doesn't want them to suffer because of taekook.He doesn't want members to fight.He prioritizes bts over his own relationship because he does not want to be seen selfish.But..old habits die hard. I wouldn't have paid any extra attention to that mock kissing attempt if I hadn't seen the aftermath of it in a video at least 3 or 4 months ago.Tae was really angry in that shoot.While singing he and Jimin touched head while sitting and JK came jumping and separated them.In that video it was seen as JK getting jealous of Vmin but V doesn't hide his angry face.The whole time JK was looking at Tae.In todays's dropped memories in bts, Tae ignored JK when he was trying to catch up with him on the same day.

I have seen kookie trying fanservice with members but they are not jimin.They respect Tae.They are older and don't see why they need to do these things specially when they are getting into the next phase of their life :serious relationships. You think they see Kookie and thank him for saving bts?They see a child who is desperately trying to hold onto his favourite toy even if it means destroying himself in the process.I think JK has already started seeing how respect in relationships work by observing the members relationships.You think they are gonna let Jimin climb all up on their gf while their gf act like a statue?JK in his weverse said he doesn't think about the past,his focus is always to the future.His ego wouldn't be able to cope if he did.

There are a lot of secrets within that group.They want to stay truthful but it is not what happens.Tae and bh, their relationship is key to uncovering all of the favouring that Jimin got in the successive years.In this festa he said he believed about himself "I can make my own way". Jimin's insecurity is so deep rooted, anything to cover that up. RM said in the same festa he stopped believing that people are inherently good.

You have a nice weekend.

Lisa anon,

“Cult” would be an accurate description. "Pinky promise" lol it wouldn't be so bizarre if I didn't see adults say such naïve things.

My confusion arises because I started with the assumption that Jimin didn't have an agenda. I guess if you look at it that way both BH and Jimin's own desire for visibility could have played into it but I also think Jikook did have a genuine bond, a bond that changed from the early years independent from company and shippers narratives but Jungkook's relationship with the rest remained the same from whatever we can see. That part I don't understand. I could be wrong about this but there was quite a bit of Jikook even in the earlier content so the company always had plans for them but it didn't morph into it's current form the until 2017.

May I ask why you think Tae was the only one to move out? Couldn't they all afford their own places by then? I wasn't in the fandom back then so the personality shift in Jungkook isn't as clear to me as it would be to someone who was closely watching them in real time. Interesting thing about the staring you brought up there. Anti-Taekookers have made it their mission to convince everyone that Taekook isn't special and never was. Even if they paint him as someone who ignores Tae, I am of the opinion that Jungkook can be a bit (very) intense. So, I am somewhat in agreement with the "wanting Tae like oxygen" sentiment lol. I can definitely see them disagreeing over their friends, living arrangements and loyalty to the band but none interestingly enough seems to lead them to reconsider the whole relationship thing. If you take into account their environment and the things they have to deal with daily, the only reason they lasted so long is that one or both of them really want this unless they feed off the drama of it all.

That memories 2020 Jikook clip was quite something, I'll need more time to piece it all together but yes, it looked awkward. Some things may be obvious to us but until Jungkook himself says or does something it'll just be "Taekookers making Jimin the villain of their kdrama" type responses. The new trend is to say that Tae is the one who makes Jungkook uncomfortable whenever Jungkook doesn't respond when Tae interacts with him. It's a losing battle and I'm not interested in convincing anyone if they refuse to see.

I think the accusation against Jungkook was that he increased fanservice with the other members for attention. After the 2019 scandals Jungkook seems to have this parallel image of being the black sheep of BTS, the intentions behind his actions are over-analyzed. He’s painted as this two-faced, opportunistic person who would throw anyone under the bus for his image and solo career, using his bandmates to queerbait unsuspecting fans, and so on. Jungkook doesn’t help his case the way handles certain things which makes me think he really is unaware of how the fandom perceives him or Taekook. That would explain a lot actually and it makes sense I’d probably avoid this fandom and filter content too.

I’m probably going to annoy you but I don’t take Festa content at face value either. BTS definitely have a lot to hide, I’m impressed by how they managed to stay unscathed so far. I feel we won’t get the truth from them any time  soon. They have more reasons to be careful and they’ve become too significant for Koreans to let anything happen to them. So, only a huge scandal will take them down.

You too have a nice weekend. 💜