#and now all my new coworkers are probably like 'wow what a bitch screaming at patients in front of everyone“

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

I had my first aggressive patient call at my new job today and I handled it the way I would have at my old job: firm but polite.

But apparently I was loud enough trying to get the patient to hear me say "ma'am, I cannot help you if you won't let me speak" repeatedly that it caught the entire office's attention and I am so anxious I'm nauseous.

[problematicpervertpod]

recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee 

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim 

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con 

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI, 

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations 

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10 

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better,  uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life,  rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two, 

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme),  FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) ,  I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, ���fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray,  ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia,  roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart 

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love,  sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining,  these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10 

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent 

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers,  big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels,  would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.  

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+ 

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

[artificialqueens]

Stupid For You, Chapter 3 (Crygi, Jankie, Jaida x Nicky) - Metaluna

Summary: What better way to celebrate a successful opening day than a party? tw: underage drinking//drinking in general

On the way back home, Gigi turned onto the dirt road that would take her back the quickest. A road that was the exact opposite direction of Crystal’s house.

Crystal gasped. “You’re a liar.”

“Excuse me?”

“You said your house was on the way to mine. Clearly it’s not. Why’d you say it was?”

“Because I knew that you would say no if I told you it wasn’t on the way, and I like driving you. I like our conversations. And coffee. And of course, singing terribly together.”

“You’re absolutely right. I wouldn’t have let you. But I love talking to you, Gigi.” She smiled. “And I have no idea what you’re talking about. I am a great singer and you know it.”

Once they made it back to Gigi’s, she led Crystal up the stairs into her room. Gigi’s room was exactly what Crystal had imagined. It was decorated with an orange and aqua color scheme. It was a lot cleaner than Crystal’s room. There were posters of musicians that Crystal didn’t know. Above the bed, there were fairy lights with Polaroids. One corner of the room had a vanity with a large backlit mirror, and the other had a desk with plants perched on top.

“I guess you can do makeup at the desk? I think I have an extra mirror…” Gigi rifled through her vanity drawer. “Here we go.”

“Thanks!” Crystal took out a plethora of hair pins that kept perfectly messy space buns intact. She was left with a frizzy mess. “As much as I love looking like a lion, do you have a straightener I can borrow?”

“Are you sure?Lion King is one of the best movies.”

“I’m more partial to Hercules. ”

“If you say so. Let me go get it from the bathroom.”

Crystal examined the Polaroids. There were six in total. The first photo was taken with a girl who looked to be a few years older than Gigi that had striking similarities. Both girls had the same upturned nose and blonde hair. Immediately, Crystal recognized that they were on The Boardwalk at the park, the large Ferris wheel visible in the background. The second photo was Gigi with a woman that Crystal could only assume to be her mother, and was taken at the beach. Gigi and the woman were both relaxing on colorful towels under a large umbrella. The last Polaroid Crystal looked at was of the three women skating at Rockefeller Center during Christmastime.

“Having fun?”

Crystal jumped. “Is this your mom and sister?”

Gigi nodded. “I love them so much. Honestly they’re my best friends”

“It’s nice that you guys are so close.” Crystal felt a pang of jealousy. As an only child, she would never know the bond of a sibling, and while she and her parents were on good terms, she would hardly consider her parents friends, let alone best friends.

“Honestly me and Nora, my sister, weren’t close until our dad left our mom a few years back. I think it’s because we really only had each other to lean on.”

“Oh, Gigi, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. He’s an asshole, and honestly, we’re better off without him.” Gigi forgot she was holding the straightener. “Oops, sorry. Here go you.”

After Gigi sat at her vanity and began brushing her perfect blonde hair, Crystal called, “I’m changing. Don’t look!”

Gigi could only imagine what Crystal looked like in her underwear. As soon as she found her mind wandering, she forced herself to stop and focused harder on getting ready.

After finishing a perfectly blended smokey eye, Gigi puckered her lips after putting on a layer of red gloss, and realized Crystal was standing behind her. It was hard for Gigi not to audibly gasp. She hadn’t seen Crystal’s hair straightened before, and while her curls were beautiful, she looked incredible with straight hair too. She was wearing a black and white striped crop top that hugged just the right places paired with a black skater skirt that had suspenders. Gigi was impressed at how clean Crystal’s makeup was. She opted for a blue cut crease and a matte red lip, a combination Gigi would never even think about trying. To finish the look, she had on necklaces, earrings, and bracelets that didn’t match each other, but somehow Crystal pulled off perfectly.  

“You look beautiful,” Gigi finally said.

“Thanks,” Crystal curtseyed. “You too. Oh shit!”

“What?”

“We match.” Gigi looked at her reflection, and realized she was right. Her black and white jumpsuit perfectly complemented Crystal’s top.

Crystal grabbed Gigi’s hand. “Come here!” She pulled her to the full length mirror.

“What are we doing?”

“We have zero pictures together, which needs to change.” Crystal pulled out her phone and started taking mirror selfies. After posing for a few, Crystal went through her camera roll, taking time to look at each of them.

“Wow, you are so gorgeous. You could literally be a model. You’re so good at posing.”

Gigi smiled. “I used to practice when I was little.”

“Well, it paid off.”

Crystal sent the best one in the groupchat. It was already abuzz talking about the night’s festivities. The photo was met with high praises from everyone.

After she checked the time on her phone, Gigi said, “If we’re gonna get some alcohol, we should probably leave now.”

  Crystal bit her lip. “How are we going to get any?”

Wordlessly, Gigi pulled an ID out of her wallet and handed it to Crystal, which stated that she was born in 1996. “I’ve had this since I was 16.”

“Oh wow, you rebel.”

Once inside the liquor store, Crystal was surprised at how many types of alcohol there were. She had no idea where to begin. There were shelves and shelves of bottles of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. She wondered how anyone picked which one to buy. If it was up to her, she would have bought the purple sparkly alcohol. She wasn’t even sure what it was, but it was pretty.

Gigi looked at her. “Any requests?”

“Gigi I have no idea what any of this is. Just something fruity and delicious.”

“Got it.”

Gigi settled on a fifth of coconut rum and some pineapple juice to mix. While walking past the cooler, she grabbed a six pack of hard black cherry lemonade for good measure.

Once they made it to Heidi’s apartment, the party was already in full swing. Music was playing so loud that its loud bass line echoed through the parking lot. Earlier that night, Heidi had told everyone to let themselves in. Heidi’s apartment was filled with people. It was much larger than Gigi anticipated. It was nicely decorated with a large living room, with plenty of space. At first, Gigi didn’t recognize any of her fellow partygoers. She heard Brita, but didn’t see her. As they made it further into the house, they found Heidi, right in front of the sound system the music was coming from. Gigi felt her chest vibrating.

 “Hey, bitches!” Heidi hugged them the best she could while double fisting Whiteclaws.

“Do you have any cups?” Gigi tried to shout over the music.

“What?”

“Cups?”

“ What?”

Gigi pantomimed drinking.  

“Oh! Kitchen.”

Once they made it into the kitchen, a voice screamed, “Oh my god!”

Brita pulled Gigi and Crystal into a hug. Gigi could only think about how nice Crystal smelled. Crystal looked slightly taken aback, since she didn’t know Brita well. But, let it go since Brita was probably on at least drink number three of the night.

“You’re both so hot!” Brita looked both of them up and down. “Maybe I do like girls! Wow, wow, I’m drunk.”

“Yes, yes you are,” Gigi said as Brita left the kitchen, going on about finding a girl to makeout with .

 Gigi grabbed a red Solo cup and began pouring a drink. Because Crystal hadn’t drank before she barely poured a shot’s worth of alcohol in her cup. This was a contrast to her own cup, which was half rum and half pineapple juice. Gigi spotted a marker next to the cups. On hers, she wrote her name with some stars after it. After some thought, she decided to draw hearts on Crystal’s cup.

Gigi handed Crystal the cup, making sure that she would see the hearts. “Here, drink this.”

Crystal dramatically gasped. “You’re such a talented artist.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

As she took a drink, Crystal’s face contorted to a slight look of disgust. “It’s um. Strong.”

“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t like it.” Gigi held her hand out to take the cup.

Crystal took another drink. “The more I drink it, the more I like it.”

“That’s usually how alcohol works, babe.”

After walking around Heidi’s apartment, Crystal and Gigi eventually found their friends. They were all sitting on a large sectional in a corner of the living apartment where the music wasn’t blaring. Gigi was glad to be able to hear herself think. Jaida and Nicky were looking quite comfortable next to each other. Nicky whispered something in Jaida’s ear before grabbing her hand and leading her out of the room.

“Shit,” Jackie groaned. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“What is it?” Jan’s eyes were full of concern.

“Every single summer, Jaida meets one of the new girls, they hook up, and she gets way too invested. Every single summer she breaks her own heart, and I end up picking up the pieces. Every. Single. Time,“ Jackie lamented, taking a swig of vodka. 

“Maybe it won’t be like that. Nicky seems like a nice girl,” Crystal said while taking a seat.

“That may be so, but I don’t think that Nicky has the same intentions that Jaida does. I love the girl but she’s an idiot.”

“Well,” Jan began. “Jaida’s a big girl, I think she can handle it herself. Let’s go check out the beer pong table.”

The kitchen table was pushed into the hallway where an intense game of beer pong was taking place. It was Widow and Heidi vs. Gigi’s coworkers, Dahlia and Rock.

There was one cup left, and it was Widow’s turn. Carefully, she aimed and threw the ball and landed it perfectly in the cup.

“Drink up, bitches!” Dahlia chugged the beer in the cup.

“Who’s next?” Heidi asked. “We’ve won the last three rounds.”

Crystal looked at Gigi, who at some point finished her drink and moved onto a lemonade. “Wanna?”

Gigi raised her and Crystal’s hands.

“Step on up, ladies!” Heidi said as she refilled the cups.

Widow went first. “Y’all are going down!”

“You wish.” Gigi’s expression was determined. She was awful at beer pong, but wasn’t about to let Crystal know that.

Widow’s ball landed in one of the cups with a plop right in front of Crystal. It was clear Crystal wasn’t well versed in the rules of beer pong, so Widow instructed, “Crystal, drink.”

Crystal nervously fished the ball out of the cup. She raised it to her nose and made a face.

“It’s not going to be good,” Gigi said. “Just warning you. Thankfully there’s not much in there. Don’t let it sit on your tongue. Drink it down.”

Crystal did as she was instructed. “My turn?” Gigi nodded.

Even though she tried to aim, Crystal was feeling the effects of the alcohol. The ball veered to the left, nearly hitting Jan. “Oops.”

“Good one,” Heidi teased as she sank a ball right in front of Gigi. “Drink up.”

Gigi also made a face when she drank the beer. “You’re out here getting the cheap shit, huh?”

“You try buying boujee shit when we barely make about minimum wage.”

Gigi couldn’t argue with that logic. She surprised herself by making a shot.

“I’m impressed,” Widow said while finishing her cup.

After a close game, each team had one cup left. Crystal failed to score anything. Thankfully, Gigi was having a good game for once and carried them to the end. Gigi’s shot was just wide.

“Get ready to lose, hookers,” Widow said confidently. She was so confident, she barely aimed and missed.

“It’s all you, Crys,” Gigi said. “You can do it.”

“I can do it.”

Crystal stood aiming her ball for at least thirty seconds.

“Today, Crystal,” Heidi said dramatically looking at her nails.

“Hold on!”

She took a few more seconds before tossing the ball. It landed in the cup with a plop. Jan, Jackie, and a few other spectators cheered.

“I did it!” Crystal slurred hugging Gigi.

“You did!”

“I wanna dance. Let’s go dance!” By this point, Crystal was extremely drunk. Gigi found it absolutely adorable, the way she slurred her words and thought very hard before speaking.

The group made their way into the living room. Another song that Gigi didn’t recognize was playing over the speakers. Jan began to grind against Jackie. Jackie was taken aback, but pulled her closer. Crystal looked at Gigi and raised an eyebrow. Gigi shrugged in return. A song that Gigi had heard a few times on the radio started.

“Oh my god, I love this song!” Crystal squealed, standing in front of Gigi starting to grind on her.

Gigi was shocked as Crystal’s hips rocked back and forth in front of her. Gigi grabbed onto Crystal’s waist, pulling her closer. As Crystal rubbed against her, Gigi could feel herself being turned on. When Crystal bent at the waist and started shaking her ass, the blonde thought she would drop dead on the dancefloor. Crystal turned her head at Gigi and smiled.

Do I kiss her? Is she just looking at me? What’s going on?!

Before she could think any further, Crystal turned back around as the song ended and pulled Gigi into a hug.

“I’m having so much fun!” Crystal exclaimed.

“How many drinks have you had tonight, Crys?”

“Umm,” She counted on her fingers. “One, two, three… Four. I think I’m done!”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

Crystal gasped and pointed at Jan and Jackie. They were in the middle of the makeshift dance floor with their lips intertwined. Jackie had a fistful of Jan’s ass while Jan’s hands were running up and down Jackie’s back.

“Holy shit!” Gigi was thinking about earlier when Jaida said that Jackie was straight.

Just then, Jaida and Nicky found Crystal and Gigi. They both looked disheveled, as if they had gotten dressed in a hurry. Jaida was pulling up her tube top, and Nicky was fixing her hair.

“Where have you two been?” Gigi raised an eyebrow.

“Mind your business,” Jaida warned.

The four girls watched Jan and Jackie, who had stopped kissing and were just looking into each other’s eyes. After noticing her friends, Jackie ran into the bathroom. 

“Shit,” Jaida said, running after Jackie.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jan asked, tears welling her eyes.

“No, you didn’t do anything,” Gigi took her hand. “Let’s go outside.”

–

“Jackie, what the hell?” Jaida slammed the bathroom door behind her.

“I don’t know! Jaida, I’m drunk, she’s drunk… She just looked really pretty, and I don’t know what happened! Next thing I knew, my hands were on her ass and her tongue was down my throat!” Jackie slurred. “I’m straight! I don’t like girls!”

“Listen. I’ve seen you. You’ve been checking out Miss Jan every single day you’ve seen her. I don’t think that’s just gals being pals.”

“I’m not gay.”

“Jackie. We don’t have to talk about that right now but I really think you should–”

“Jaida, stop. I can’t do this right now.”

With that, Jackie stormed off in a hurry.

–

Gigi, Nicky, and Crystal managed to calm down Jan, who was near hysterics.

“Does she hate me?” Jan slurred. “She kissed me first!“

“No, Jan. I think that maybe Jackie doesn’t know how to process whatever it is that she is feeling,” Nicky reassured.

Gigi’s phone buzzed. It was Jaida.

Jackie’s freaking out. I’m taking her home. She doesn’t live too far away. I’ll be back.

They all sat with a crying Jan until Jaida showed up.

“Oh, chile,” Jaida began wrapped Jan in a hug. “It’s not you. I promise it isn’t. Jackie doesn’t know how to act when it comes to her emotions. I promise it’s not you.”

“Really?” Jan wiped her eyes. “How fucked is my makeup right now?”

“Pretty fucked. But let me fix it.” Nicky said, pulling a wipe from her purse.

“I’m not letting her ruin my night. Ladies, let’s go do shots!” Jan pulled a bottle of tequila out of her bag.

There were already slices of lime and a salt shaker set up in the kitchen. Because she was the only one sober enough to do so, Gigi poured the shots.

“Crystal,” Jan slurred. “Whatcha gotta do is you lick your hand and shake the salt on it. Then, ya lick the salt, then ya take the shot. It tastes bad, don’t let it sit in your mouth. Then ya suck the lime.”

“Act like it’s cough syrup,” Jaida recommended.

The four girls toasted their glasses, set them on the table, shot the tequila back, and sucked on the lime. Gigi didn’t think she was good at very many things, but she was good at shots. Everyone else made the universal face when doing shots, except for her.

“Crystal, you look like you went through all the stages of grief at once,” Nicky teased.

“That was gross.”

“You don’t drink it because it’s good,” Jaida said.

The rest of the night was filled with selfies, dancing, and for everyone but Gigi, more drinking. She didn’t remember the last time she had this much fun at a party, even if she did spend a good chunk of the night holding Jan’s hair back in the bathroom.

At about two AM, the party started to unwind.

“Ready to go babe?” Gigi asked an extremely drunk Crystal.

“Yeah I’m ready to go home.”

“It’s late, do you want to just spend the night at my house?”

“We’re gonna have a sleepover?”

“Yes, Crystal, we’re going to have a sleepover.”

After thanking Heidi for a great party, she managed to single handedly get Crystal into her Jeep. Gigi looked over at Crystal who at some point had fallen asleep. Once they made it back to her house, Gigi gently tapped Crystal’s shoulder.

“Okay, babe, we’re back.”

“Sleepover?”

After much protesting, Gigi managed to get Crystal to drink some water. She brought a bottle up to her room for good measure. Because she was a good friend, she removed Crystal’s makeup.

After rifling through her dresser, she gave Crystal an old cheerleading shirt and some shorts. “The bathrooms right over down–”

Crystal began stripping in Gigi’s bedroom. As much as she tried to look away, she couldn’t. Crystal’s body was much curvier than her own, but Gigi couldn’t help but stare at how beautiful she was… How beautiful her breasts were… After changing, Crystal plopped onto Gigi’s bed and fell asleep. Because she had a queen sized bed, Gigi decided she could share and it wouldn’t be weird.

The next day, Crystal woke up cuddling Gigi. She didn’t remember parts of the night. She remembered beer pong, dancing, Jan crying, Jackie running away, and shots. Her head was pounding, and everything felt too bright. She got up and found the bottle of water. She pulled out her phone to text her ride. She couldn’t let Gigi give her another ride home.

Gigi must have heard her, as she woke up. “Morning, sunshine. How are you feeling?”

“Not good. My head’s pounding.”

“Awe, baby’s first hangover,” Gigi teased. “Are you hungry?”

“No, eating is pretty much the last thing I want to do right now. I have someone coming to get me soon. Also, did you check the group chat?”

“No, why?”

Gigi sat on her bed with Crystal as they went through all the photos that were sent that night. The blurry photos said it all. Gigi’s favorite was a group photo right before shots.

Crystal’s phone buzzed. “My ride’s here!”

“I’ll walk you down.”

A truck was in Gigi’s driveway. A blonde boy with a shaggy beard came out.

“Ryan!” Crystal exclaimed, running to hug the boy. “Gigi, this is my boyfriend Ryan. Ryan, this is my coworker, Gigi.”

Boyfriend.

Gigi’s stomach dropped.

“I’ve heard so much about you!”

“Nice to meet you,” she mumbled.

“Thanks for taking care of her.” Ryan kissed Crystal on the cheek.

“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow, Crystal.”

Gigi closed the door without waiting for a response.

[rodentchild]

Things Family/Friends Say as Prompts Part 10!!

In honor of part 10 being out, here's 100 prompts!!

"I made a pie because I was procrastinating."

"These pants make my ass look great, thank you very much!"

"Well, shit. It seems I've forgotten my pants."

"I find your pettiness to be funny as hell."

*tall person interrupting short person* "That's enough from the peanut gallery."

"He probably thought there was real crack in it."

"I'm getting caffeine so I don't kill people."

"Don't ask a personal question unless you are 100% ready for the answer."

"Look at me. Just because you can fight this alone, it doesn't mean you have to."

"It's not my fault you seem to have lost all rational sense!"

"We're a violent generation, mother!"

"You're a monstrosity." "Yeah, but a sexy monstrosity."

"Why are you covered in glitter?"

"I'm not sure if I'm feeling pride well up inside me, or if it's vomit."

*carries a plush yoda in their backpack* "The force says fuck you."

"I found out that 90% of my coworkers don't know how a fucking clock works."

"Don't ask me if I'm okay, I'm in a constant state of panic."

"Where's my fucking watch!" *flips desk*

"It was 4 bucks at Goodwill, let me live my life!"

"Out of all the people in this room with nerves to push, you choose to tap dance on mine."

"If you're not careful, I will shove a lit firecracker down your pants."

"Wow you are such a gay disaster."

*watches someone do parkour* "What a Chad!"

"I don't know what it is but it smells bad and tastes worse."

"Stop being so hot!"

*singing in Not English* "Wow that song is beautiful." *pterydactyl screech*

"It gave it's body up for science!" "THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN EAT IT!"

*multiple warning alarms going off* "Hell yeah, party time!"

"I wear anything I want! Regardless of weather!"

"My student's opinions don't matter!"

"I'm not doing that, I'd look like one of those thumb people in Spy Kids."

"You're just a problem in general."

"Now hOW IN THE GODDAMN FUCK..."

*talking about coffee* "Get that bitter bean-water out of my face!"

"That man is a national treasure."

"This is about my job, not my looks!"

"You're vibes are rancid."

"Can you come drop me off a new pair of pants, please? I spilt acid on my old ones."

"Let me listen to my punk music, you binary bitch!"

"Let me aggresively love you!!"

"I'm too sick for your bullshit today, so can you just get me some soup and fuck off?"

"It was weird then and it's weird now, so shut up."

"Nothing is binary and everything is gay, you ignorant bitch!"

"I would challenge you to a battle of wits since you think you're so smart, but it's unfair to go against an unarmed opponent."

"Just... Promise me you won't get into any more fights this year?"

"I'm running on 4 hours of sleep and chronic anxiety, so sass me again and see what happens."

*screaming* "What are you doing?" "Self care! It's either this or I go set someone on fire!"

"If you wanted a nice guy, you shouldn't have treated me like a villain."

"Why are you drinking cereal and milk out of a mug?"

"I'm sorry you have a tattoo where?"

"I'm always a slut for mashed potatoes."

"You look terrible. I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"You look real fancy, dare I say 'hobo chic'."

"That is both romantic and disgusting."

"Damn you are the hottest boy in a skirt I've ever seen." "I'm the only boy in a skirt you've ever seen..."

"Life is a rollercoaster and it has no seatbelts, let's fucking go!"

*repeatedly smacking them with a book* "Stop. Being. Such. A. Himbo."

"I probably just saved your life, but there's no need to thank me. You should just start listening to me."

*dramatically throws themself on the couch* "I can and I will be as dramatic as I fucking want, ok?"

"You need to stop! You could die!" "That's the fucking point!" "...Wait what?"

"Get out of my way before I pick you up and throw you across the damn room."

"I feel like a sad sack of shit."

"Let me eat my depression cookies in peace!"

"It's not my fault you're a feral beast."

"Just because I'm dead, it doesn't mean I don't have feelings." (ghost au???)

"Point to a place on the globe and I promise we'll go there after graduation."

"How dare you. You don't have the right to even say his name after the shit you've put him through."

*hiss* “Okay, you are not a cat, now calm down.”

"No more yeeting dirt from the neighbors for your garden."

"I mostly live off coffee and despair."

"I told my students that if they all passed their final, I'd ask you out. I don't think I've ever seen everyone study so hard in my life."

*after getting in a fight at school* "It's not that bad, I'll be fine. You can kill them later."

"It is my God-given right to be a bitch am I'm going to use it."

"Just because God gave you a mouth, doesn't mean you should use it."

"You're just a walking meme, aren't you?"

"Can I get a Hell Yeah?" *southern accent* "HeLl YeAh!"

"Pfft! In what dimension is that true?!"

"Just. Get. Out. Please..."

"Sometimes I wonder if those soulmate tropes in fanfics are real." "... Is this why I caught you writing down full conversations on your arm?"

"This is your plan?" "Yep." "It's incredibly dangerous." "Sounds right." "It could kill you." "Let's hope it doesn't."

"Wanna go play hide-and-seek at IKEA?"

"I'm gonna get drunk and binge watch Scooby Doo. You in?"

"You finally managed to surprise me, you crafty little shit."

"Can you walk?" "No, I think my leg's broken. Can you carry me?"

"I will never be anything but mediocre in this universe."

"You should replace the batteries in those things, they're not working right." "Oh no, my hearing aids work fine. Ignoring you was a conscious decision."

"What are you doing?" "Waiting. I do that."

*said to two men* "Alright girls, calm down. You're both pretty!" "I am so much prettier than him!"

"If you'll excuse me, I drank a 5-hour Energy and now I'm going to chew caffeine gum and explode."

"I'd sacrifice myself for you in a heartbeat."

"Fuck Claire's! We're getting you pierced at a real shop!"

"You're such an ass." "Thank you, it's a natural talent."

"It's only a matter of time before I injure myself on accident."

"Don't say you're sorry, you've done nothing wrong."

*context: age regression as a coping mechanism* "You can be as little as you want, baby. I'll be right here."

"I can tell your anxiety's acting up. Want to squeeze my hand?"

"I'm constantly afraid that my parents will find out I'm lgbtq+, and one day I'll come home from school and my house keys won't work anymore..."

"You're injured way too much, the hospital staff know you by name."

"Yes hi I love you, now give me attention."

"Can you draw on my arm? I like the feeling, and it kinda helps with anxiety..."

[thelittleredheadedmusician]

Holiday Cheer?

For @newsies-secret-santa I got @radioactivepigeons which is kinda funny and I thought was totally rad so please enjoy this silly fic! Words: 4,637 Rating: PG Summary: Blink got a job at Target and has to work Black Friday in the electronics department. Really things can only go up from here. AO3

Blink wanted to die. Well not literally. But if the choices were death and this? At least he wouldn’t have been miserable with the former.

He’d needed the extra cash, even though he despised the holiday season and the capitalist hellscape that it created with a deep burning passion, Blink’s laptop was about to die and there was just no way he could buy a new one and pay rent for the month. Thus, the seasonal hours he was picking up at a Target out on Long Island. Which meant working Black Friday. Joy to the ducking world. 

It was now almost three hours into his shift and he was being screamed at by his fourth Suburban Mom With Bad Highlights. Honestly? Blink was kinda numb to it at this point. In some not so distant aisle a baby wailed. Soccer Mom took a breath and Blink seized his opportunity before she could continue yelling at him.

“I’m sorry ma’am but we are sold out. Our system says that there’s three left at our West Orange location though.” 

She huffed but grabbed her cart and shoved her way out of the electronics department. 

In the aftermath, Blink allowed his faux charming smile to falter for just a second. He hadn’t been able to let it drop so far since his manager had informed him that the costumers might find his eye patch “off putting” which he would normally reply a “fuck you” to but he really needed this job.

If Blink’s ancient laptop finally bit the dust, then he wouldn’t be able to use the text to speech program that he needed to complete his readings. Because after a day full of classes, meetings, essays, research, and TA-ing he was tired. Reading was just. Not an option. He was lucky his vision held out until he got home. If his laptop died, he could kiss his long dreamt of PhD in English Lit goodbye. And Blink was one stubborn son of a bitch so that was not happening. He’d gotten this far; he could get through December.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

He had to get through today first though. And damn these people were sure making that hard. 

The baby stopped crying abruptly and a John Mulaney quote sprung to Blink’s mind. He didn’t mean to, but he mumbled it anyway, “You hope it was a miracle… but probably not.” 

A muffled snort sounded from in front of Blink and he felt himself flush with embarrassment when he looked up to see a guy standing there on the other side of the counter. A very good-looking guy. A downright hot guy with a mess of curls and what appeared to be dimples as he laughed at Blink. And oh duck. He was laughing at Blink. 

“Please tell me you were consciously aware of the fact that you were quoting John Mulaney about a baby,” Hot Guy was saying now. And god it was shitty of Blink to just completely objectify him like that but damn it was internal, barely six a.m., and what else was he supposed to call him? 

Blink smiled, for real this time, and gave a shrug. Which actually felt kinda good after having not moved from this spot since the store opened. “Can you blame me? It’s true.” 

Hot Guy laughed again, louder and longer this time and throwing his head back as he did so. It gave Blink a perfect view of his smooth, dark throat, his skin just a few shades lighter than his curls. He’d started to nod as he chuckled. “It’s true,” he was saying between laughs. And Blink couldn’t tell if he was agreeing with Blink or repeating what he’d said. 

Blink knew he was just grinning dopily him, but he really couldn’t help himself. He was practically dead on his feet and he hadn’t even had “lunch” yet here stood Blink’s dream partner. Cute, laughed at his stupid comments, knew John Mulaney quotes. Look, Blink knew it was a low bar, but you’d be surprised how few people managed to cross it. Normally it was the second point that tripped them up. 

Finally, Blink managed to come back to where and more importantly when he was. “Sorry, uh, is there anything I can help you with?” 

Th guy shook his head, his hands were shoved deep in his coat pockets and when he made a sweeping motion it pulled his unzipped coat into a sail. “Honestly? I’m just biding my time while my mom guilts my aunt into giving her the last of whatever toy my cousin desperately wants so that she can be the hero come Christmas morning.” 

“Wow,” Blink said with a low whistle. “That is some next level family drama.”

Hot Guy rolled his eyes but that smile never slipped. And thank god, Blink was pretty sure that looking at that smile for the rest of the holiday shopping season would keep him from wanting to commit a felony.

“They’re so competitive,” he was saying, “that now they have to come up with new ways to be competitive. It’s a mess. But can’t say that it makes for a dull holiday.”

He was buffeted by an overlarge man, pushing him closer to Blink’s counter and causing him to stumble. Instinctively, Blink reached out to steady him and managed to grab his upper arm. What felt like his very toned upper arm. Oh duck. Blink was so dead. He didn’t even know this guy’s name and he was already gone on him.

“Thanks,” Hot Guy said once he was steadied. He glanced to Blink’s nametag before looking back up at him with that brilliant smile. “Louis. Thanks Louis.”

“No problem,” Blink heard himself saying because that was it. Wherever Blink was now it wasn’t this plane of existence. He had no clue what he was doing or saying because internally he was just a mess of giddy screams. Pretty people just should not exist because this is what happened to Blink when they talked to him. “It’s insane in here, not your fault.” Oh duck. Had he been rambling? Man, he hoped he hadn’t been rambling.

The smile never slipped though so whatever nonsense was coming out of Blink’s mouth Hot Guy didn’t seem to mind.

Suddenly a voice cut through the chaos. “MIKEY! WE’RE LEAVING!”

His smile twisted into an apologetic wince. “That’s my mom,” Hot Guy told him and Blink was pulled none too gently back to reality. “I’ve gotta go or I will be left here. You always on electronics?” he asked quickly as he started backing away.

“Um, no just today.”

Hot Guy had reached the main aisle and was nodding. “Ok. Um, I’ll find you then?”

Blink nodded and raised his hand in a wave. Hot Guy, well apparently his name was Mikey, flashed him one last smile before sprinting towards the front of the store.

Blink meant to watch him as he walked away but a little old lady’s perm had filled his vision and when he looked down she was rather urgently holding out a stack of coupons and a flyer opened to the new iPhone. He had a few thoughts – who thought it was a good idea to let an octogenarian out Black Friday shopping at the peak of the crazy, there was no way those coupons were actually going to be accepted today, he was not authorized to sell iPhones, he did not have the patience to explain that he was not authorized to sell iPhones to her – but they all were shoved down as she started talking at him.

~

Two p.m. and the end of Blink’s shift did not come soon enough. He was due back bright and early tomorrow at seven, but luckily he was just stocking shelves the first few hours and wouldn’t have to properly think again until he had to work a register after lunch.

It was odd walking out into the bright afternoon sun after having gone into the liminal space that he now called his place of employment in total darkness. The parking lot was still full, and he squinted against the light as he searched for Sarah’s silver Toyota in a sea of silver sedans.

He finally found her at the back of the lot, seemingly talking to herself and waving her hands around as she did so. He knocked on the passenger window and she turned to beam at him before unlocking the car and continuing her conversation.

“I mean, I stand by what I said.”

“Oh, I know you do,” Katherine’s voice came out of the speakers, obviously on the other end of the call. “But that doesn’t mean it’s a viable option.”

“What are we talking about?” Blink asked. He rubbed his hands and held them up to the vent where Sarah was blasting warm air. The walk wasn’t that far but the wind had been killer.

“Murder,” Sarah said cheerily at the same time that Katherine said, “My family.”

“Ah, holidays,” Blink said with sarcasm laced cheer. The girls laughed and Blink sank further back into the seat, exhaustion finally hitting him full force.

“Ok, well I’ll let you two go. See you soon!” There was the sound of raised voices somewhere in the background and Blink guessed that Kath wasn’t just hanging up to let Blink and Sarah talk.

“Bye Kath’rine,” he mumbled.

“Bye Kath!” Sarah said brightly and then there was the weird boop of the call disconnecting. She turned to Blink – or at least he assumed she turned to him but Blink had enough seeing for one day thank you very much and so had pushed his eye patch up onto his forehead and had his eyes closed with his hands pressed over them – and started talking to him with the same enthusiasm. Which was refreshing from the faux happy of his coworkers and the misery of the shoppers but like Blink was not on that level. “So how was work?”

“I hate capitalism. And middle-aged white women. And Christmas.”

Sarah hummed as she put the car in drive and began to back out of the spot. “Yeah, best part of being Jewish? Not doing all that.”

Blink laughed. He hadn’t really done Christmas growing up, after his dad died it’d just been his mom and his brothers and him and his mom really tried but money was tight. Normally they each got a new book and just watched A Christmas Story. Which Blink really didn’t mind and he loved reading and well, he still uses the whole “You’ll shoot your eye out!” thing as his excuse when people ask him about the patch. Just says, “Ralphie was lucky, he was wearing glasses. Me… well I used to have 20/20 vision.” It made people laugh and he didn’t actually have to answer the question.

But all this Black Friday nonsense? All this “buying the perfect gift” and making it the “best Christmas ever” and trying to be a picture-perfect Norman Rockwell family just for the one day a year even though everyone knew it was a sham? Yeah, that was bullshit and a load of bullshit Blink really didn’t need in his life. But damn he needed that new laptop.

“Well thanks,” Blink said after a short silence.

“For what?” Sarah asked. They were good friends, thanks to Jack being one of Blink’s buddies from high school and Jack and Davey meeting in college and being, well, Jack and Davey and then Sarah being Dave’s sister it only made sense that they’d crossed paths freshman year and hit it off. Though they were probably the most surprised of anybody when they’d gotten so close over the next couple of years. Even then, Sarah wasn’t a mind reader and Blink had a habit of non sequiturs.

“Driving me to and from work. Especially today what with the hours. And then being willing to bring me out here every weekend for the next month,” Blink explained.

Sarah scoffed but Blink kept talking before she could start telling him how little she minded. He needed to get it off his chest.

“And for inviting me to Thanksgiving and letting me stay with you and your folks. I already thanked ‘em yesterday for it and for letting me stay the weekends but you’re driving and I’ll pay you for some of the gas once I get my first paycheck and-”

“Louis!” She cut him off and Sarah only ever called him Louis if she really needed his attention. “It’s fine! You don’t have to thank me or pay for gas! Jeez. I’m helping Les prep for his SATs and coming out every weekend anyway, it’s literally not a problem. Besides, my parents love you and since they moved out here they have the spare room. On top of all that, you’re one of my best friends, you’re always welcome at the Jacobs Family Thanksgiving, with all its insanity, and I’m more than happy to help you out in any way I can. We all are.”

Blink sighed and sat up to look at her. Sarah was glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his reaction. “You’re too good.”

She just smirked and shrugged. “I mean, I’m going to make you help me help Les so really you might want to rethink that.”

Blink laughed and he could tell that Sarah was pleased with herself. She let him sit in silence for a little while longer as she turned into the development that her parents had moved to when the twins were in high school. Mr. Jacobs had gotten injured at work due to the company cutting corners and not following the proper safety protocols. They’d sued and managed to win enough that they covered the medical bills and moved to the family out of their cramped apartment in Lower Manhattan to the nice house in suburban Long Island. Now, Mr. Jacobs served on the town council and worked as a safety inspector and the house had become a weekend refuge for their children’s ragtag group of friends.

“So,” Sarah said as they neared her parents’ house, “anything that you need to curse about from today before we get home?”

Groaning and throwing his hands up in the air made her laugh but the look Sarah gave him said she wasn’t going to accept that as an answer. Blink sighed. “If I never hear a thick Long Island accent again it’ll be too soon.”

That got him a snort. “You’re friends with Spot Conlon-”

“Who has a Brooklyn accent and yes there is a difference!”

Sarah scoffed, obviously not buying it but Blink was willing to die on this hill.

“I really don’t understand what everyone needs a seventy-five-inch tv for. Honestly. And now I officially cringe anytime I see a woman with a ‘Can I Speak to Your Manager’ haircut.”

Sarah turned into her driveway and parked but didn’t turn off the car yet. “That it?”

Blink shrugged and began to nod before freezing. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I nearly forgot.”

Sarah looked concerned and he knew he must have a horrified expression.

He turned to her and looked at her seriously. “Sarah.”

“Blink?”

“I met the love of my life this morning.”

“Really.” She sounded incredulous.

“I swear to you. I am in ducking love.”

“Uh huh. You get their number?”

Blink winced, remembering his mistake from being dead on his feet when he met the guy. “No…”

“Blink!”

“Look! It was early! Like before sunrise! And I was on the electronics counter! I’m lucky I was able to speak coherent English!”

Sarah snorted but remained silent, giving him the opportunity to redeem himself.

“I got his name,” Blink told her and was rewarded with an impressed raise of the brows. “And he said he’s gonna come back another day when it’s not crazy to see me so…”

With a sigh and a shake of the head Sarah showed that he’d lost any points he got by getting the guy’s name. “So? Who is he?”

“Uh, Mikey.”

“Mikey…? What. What’s his last name.”

Blink winced. “I just know his name’s Mikey.”

Sarah gave him a blank look and turned to shut off the car and get out. Blink resettled his eye patch and hurried to follow her. “You’re hopeless,” Sarah called over her shoulder as she walked to the door.

Blink sighed and followed. “I know.”

~

Saturday passed in a blur. Thankfully it was significantly less busy and Blink actually knew the answers to all the questions he was asked but it still drained him. He practically collapsed when he got in Sarah’s car.

“Mystery Mikey show up?” she teased but Blink knew there was genuine interest in there too.

Blink sighed. “No.”

“Well you’ve got time.”

Blink just shrugged and allowed himself to doze off as they drove.

~

Sunday afternoon saw Blink climbing out of Sarah’s car so he could get his bag and climb back into Sarah’s car so she, Blink, and Davey could all get back to the city. He felt absolutely wiped from his first weekend working at Target but knew it was all because of the sales. Some not so distant part of him said that he should just get used to this though because he was working weekends all holiday season and this was just going to be his life now.

He thanked Mr. Jacobs again and gave Mrs. Jacobs one last hug and Les’s hair one last ruffle before following Davey out the door. They both threw their bags in the trunk and Dave shot him a quizzical look.

“You even pack anything? You only needed red shirts and khakis,” he deadpanned.

Blink stared at him for a few seconds. “Wow. That joke? It was so funny I forgot to laugh.”

Davey snorted and Blink responded with an eyeroll. Normally he’d have smiled but he was too tired to do much else than turn to get back in the car.

He stopped as he caught sight of the next-door neighbors’ driveway. Next to a blue Honda was a mother hugging her adult son tightly. The guy had his eyes turned skyward and seemed to be enduring her public display of affection. It looked like he was gearing up to say something to her when he saw Blink though.

That was when Blink knew. He’d thought it was Mikey, his mystery crush from Friday, but when he froze Blink knew it was him.

Mikey’s mother could be heard asking him what was wrong as he stiffly released her and then she was turning to watch him cross over the grass dividing the two driveways and walk up to Blink.

They stood there staring at each other in shock. Sarah had come out and distantly Blink heard her ask Davey what was going on and Davey mumbling something back. But Blink didn’t care because what’re the odds that he’d actually meet the guy he’d decided he’d fallen in love with again?

“What’re you doing at the Jacobs?” Mikey finally asked in awe.

“Uh, spending the holiday? They’re letting me stay here while I work too cause I live in the city. And Sarah likes me for some reason so she’s driving me around.” Blink didn’t know where the blatant honesty word vomit had come from, but he blamed the shock.

Mikey laughed. Blink could do little else but stare.

“Blink!” Sarah finally called from where she stood at the driver’s door. ��What is going on?”

“This is him!” Blink gestured towards the man in front of him, hoping desperately that Sarah would understand.

“Mush? Mush is who?” Sarah obviously did not understand.

“Him! Him,” Blink implored. “The guy from Black Friday!”

“What’re you talking about?” Davey sounded tired. But Davey always sounded tired. Blink elected to ignore him and go back to grinning dumbly at Mikey.

“Hold up,” Sarah said, drawing everyone’s attention. “Your Mystery Mikey is Mush from Next Door?”

“Apparently!” Mikey, or was it Mush? Did he have a preference? Or did Blink have to earn that? Was it an inside joke?

“I’m so lost,” Davey informed them and went to sit in the car.

“Why didn’t you just say that it was Mush?” Sarah sighed. “It could’ve saved so many melodramatic sighs.”

Blink felt his cheeks heat and glanced to see that Mush had bit his lip to try and keep from laughing. Duck that was adorable.

“Um, in Louis’s defense I never actually said my name,” Mikey/Mush finally spoke up. “If I’d have thought to properly introduce myself it would’ve been as Mush Meyers but I’m guessing you and the entire store heard my mom call me Mikey so…” He trailed off with a shrug.

Sarah snorted before Blink could reply. “You actually said your name was Louis?”

“It’s what’s on my nametag! No way I’m gonna run around telling random costumers to call me Blink. And it was busy and I was distracted,” here he gestured vaguely at Mush, “so I didn’t get the chance to say that I go by Kid Blink but most of my friends just call me Blink. Only people who don’t are my mom, my professors – with the exception of Jackson but he’s my advisor – and now my coworkers.”

“And me when I’m annoyed with you or want your attention,” Sarah added.

“And Sarah when she’s annoyed with me or wants my attention,” Blink corrected.

Mush nodded, that easy smile Blink had called to mind so many times in the past couple days was back. “Ok, let’s try this again.” He held out his hand, “Hi, name’s Mush.”

Blink beamed at him and shook his hand. “Kid Blink, but you can just call me Blink.”

“I think you’re really cute and funny and I’d love to get to know you better, want to get coffee some time?”

He didn’t think he could smile any wider after a six-hour shift as a cashier but somehow Blink managed it. “I would love that.”

“Awww, cute,” Sarah interrupted.

Blink turned to glare at her, but he caught Mush biting his lip again out of the corner of his eye. He was going to make sure that Mush always stood on his good side because Blink wasn’t ever going to miss a glimpse of that face if he could help it.

“Can you exchange numbers and plan this date that way?” She continued. “Not to be pushy but I really don’t want to get stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge.”

“Brooklyn,” Blink muttered in annoyance and was surprised to hear Mush do so too.

At Blink’s raised brows Mush shrugged. “It’s this guy I know, Spot Conlon, it’s his turf.”

“You know Spot?” Blink had to pause a second. How was it this guy lived next door to the Jacobs, or his mom obviously did, and he knew Spot Conlon and Blink had met him on the worst day of the year in a ducking Target electronics department.

“Yes, yes, and I’m sure it’s a thrilling story and I’m sure you’ll discover a million more little connections because Long Island and New York City are the biggest small town in the world and everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who knows you but traffic is not going to get any better the longer we stand here in the cold,” Sarah huffed.

Dave rolled down his window. “She’s right and will only get meaner.”

“Thank you,” Sarah said primly. Davey just nodded and the window went back up.

Blink turned back to Mush to see he already had his phone out and a new contact page pulled up. He took it and put in “Kid Blink” and in the company line “Alex from Target 2.0” before typing his number and sending himself a text.

Mush laughed when he took it back and Blink smiled in triumph. “I’ll text you,” Mush said firmly and he slid it back in his coat pocket.

“Uh, actually can I call you when I get home? It’s uh, it’s um-”

“Absolutely,” Mush cut him off and kept smiling. “Whatever you prefer.”

Blink smiled back and nodded. “Ok. Cool. Thanks.”

They both stood there grinning stupidly at each other until Sarah honked the horn, obviously having gotten cold and impatient. Blink waved as he got in and Sarah backed out of the driveway, watching Mush wave back until he disappeared.

~

The next Friday when Blink slid into Sarah’s car where she pulled up outside of his apartment building, he was met with a “Hello” and a surprise hug from the backseat. Blink turned to see Mush sitting back there and grinning wildly. They’d talked nearly every day this week and had gone on their first official date on Wednesday.

“What’re you doing here?” Blink asked in awe.

“My mom wants me to help put up the Christmas lights and I remembered you saying Sarah was taking you out with her on the weekends, so I texted her and asked if she’d mind if I tagged along.”

“Obviously I said no he couldn’t,” Sarah said dryly. “He’s also been recruited into the ‘Les Jacobs SAT Prep Squad.’” She looked at him seriously in the rearview mirror and Blink knew she wasn’t joking about that. Mush just laughed and shrugged.

“If I were a better friend and a worse sister, I’d have left him drive you,” she told Blink softly.

He looked back over the seat to Mush before turning back to Sarah. “Nah, this is perfect.”

They all chatted as they neared the Brooklyn Bridge before Sarah started grumbling about rush hour traffic.

“You know,” Blink said suddenly. “You never did say how you know Spot.”

Mush started laughing and launched into the story. Blink was so swept up in it, and most importantly Mush animatedly telling it, that he hardly even noticed as Sarah cursed up a storm.

Blink might still hate the holiday season. And really hate working retail. And especially hate working retail during the holiday season. And need a new laptop. But, with meeting Mush he thought that it was all more than worth it.

[lalainajanes]

Hi! idk if you're still taking prompts but can you do one where klaus and caroline are coworker's who are always getting into heated screaming matches during team meetings and everyone who works with them is just used to it, but the new girl is like wtf??? and then later finds out that they're actually married and don't hate each other?? thanks!! your writing gives me life

Obviously I could not resist fluff day! For Step Two of @klarolineshippersclub 12KCXmas event!

With Friends Like These

The office is deserted – its 7 PM on a Friday – so Caroline’sstartled by the sound she hears coming from the hall. It’s a staccato series oftaps. Heels, eating up the distance quickly, and she rolls her chair back,grabbing her phone from the corner of the desk just in case someone’s bleeding.

She’s about to go and see what’s happening, when Kat barrelsin. Her eyes are wide with what Caroline suspects is glee, her hair a wildwindblown mass of curls. Her jackets only half buttoned and she tosses asideher purse, rushing towards Caroline. “You will not believe what I just heard!”

Caroline lets herself be shaken, taking another confusedlook at Kat’s dishevelment. “Did you run from the bar? Thought you were goingto try to seduce the new guy.”

Katherine looks offended. “Try? Please. Mason’s a sure bet.He’ll keep until next week.”

“Wow,” Caroline drawls. “Something came up that’s kept youfrom guaranteed sex? Must be big.”

Katherine lets go of her, tossing her hair over her shoulderand letting out an irritated huff. “Yeah, yeah, mock me. We don’t all get to scheduleregular freaky married sex.”

It takes a fair amount of willpower not to tear her eyesaway and Caroline lifts her chin stubbornly. Katherine might know far too many details about her and Klaus’ sex life butthat was only because Caroline gets a little over share-y when tequila’sinvolved in a girl’s night out. Klaus is shameless enough not to care, evenwhen Kat’s comments get overly pointed. If anything, he leans into it, lets hishands linger and does his best to make Caroline blush. Caroline is working onbuilding up the same aplomb in the face of Kat’s suggestive smirks and taunts.

“You seem to do just fine in the freaky sex department,” shesnipes back.

Katherine grins, slow and very pleased with herself. “Ireally do.”

Caroline groans, walking over to the couch that lines onewall of her office. “I do not want to have this conversation with you.”

Her dry spell is hours away from ending and she’s really looking forward to it.

Klaus has been gone for ten days, dealing with inspectionsfor the new hotel the company is opening in London. Caroline’s team is busy puttingtogether room concepts so she hadn’t been able to justify taking the time awayto accompany him.

She likes phone sex as much as the next girl whose husbandhas a hot accent but it got old after a few days. She misses having a warm bodyto roll into at night; the way he wakes he scrapes his morning beard againsther shoulder when she grumbles about the alarm.

“Someone’s cranky!” Katherine sings. She circles Caroline’sdesk, helping herself to the bourbon that’s stashed in the lowest drawer. “Mynews might not help you.”

Oh joy.

Caroline slouches low, letting her legs flop ratherungracefully, “And yet, you rushed all the way back here to tell me about it?”

“It’s just too hilarious. I couldn’t not.”

Katherine’s sense of humor is a weird thing, an acquiredtaste, so Caroline braces herself. “Alright, hit me.”

“Uh uh. Let me set the scene.”

“And people say I’m dramatic.”

Kat ignores the complaint, lifting the bottle high. “There Iam, in the ladies room…”

“Taking off your panties so you could stuff them in Mason’spocket?”

“Please. Like you’ve never used that move.”

Caroline could honestly say she hadn’t (Klaus likes toremove her lingerie himself) but Katherine’s already continuing her tale. Sheperches on the edge of Caroline’s desk, wiggling in an effort to getcomfortable.

So it’s not going to be a short story. Caroline presses herlips together, holding in a sigh, glancing at the clock. She’s supposed to grabKlaus from the airport at eleven and she’d planned go home and change intosomething easier to remove beforehand. Hopefully Katherine can resist the urgeto embellish too extensively.

“I’m minding my own business, about to flush, when I hear afamiliar name.”

“Yours?”

“Nope, yours. Preceded and followed by some very colorfuldescriptors.” She pauses expectantly, eagerly watching for Caroline’s reaction.

Only to be disappointed when Caroline shrugs, emitting onlya dismissive, “Somehow I’ll survive.” The last time she’d really been overlyconcerned with other people liking her she’d owned pom poms.

Katherine, however, isn’t finished.

“Really? Even when I tell you that our little bathroomgossiper had very complimentary things to say about your hubs?”

Her hands curl into the couch’s cushions, a teeny flare ofjealousy flaring bright.

She’s an only child and she gets a little possessive, okay?Klaus is into it. He’s also no stranger to getting growly and shooting murdereyes and staking a claim and, since he’s got a bajillion siblings, he doesn’t evenhave the same justification for being bad at sharing.

Those incidents usually result in an immediate need forprivacy (or the reasonable facsimile found behind a locked office door or thebackseat of a car). The next day they’ll sleep in, there will be hickies on herthighs and scratches on his back, and they’ll eat dessert for breakfast.

Honestly, Caroline kind of loves that particular ritual,knows very well that Klaus does too.

“Not everyone thinks Klaus is awful,” Caroline points out.

“Because most people are dumb and lack my excellent taste.”

Caroline eyes the bottle, seriously considering chugging abit and just calling a cab when it’s time to collect Klaus. She really doesn’twant to be drunk for their reunion but, if Kat doesn’t hurry up and get to apoint, it might be her best option. “I love you so I’m going to ignore the factthat you kinda just called me dumb.”

Katherine scoffs, “You’re not dumb, just dickmatized.”

It’s probably a good thing she’s not drinking because shewould have choked. Caroline’s laugh sputters out, grows in volume, and she hasto cover her mouth when it becomes hard to control herself. Her eyes water alittle as she finally manages to stop giggling, “Yeah, I’m totally tellingKlaus that you said that. He’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Literally the only nice thing I’ll ever say about him isthat you’re far more bearable and less uptight than you used to be. I creditthe regular orgasms.”

She and Katherine had been hired at about the same time and,in the beginning, hadn’t gotten along overly well. Kat now headed The MikaelsonGroup’s marketing team, was a wizard at luring in celebs and influencers andmaking their hotels a coveted destination. Caroline had worked her way up torun a design team. It’s how she’d met Klaus (and they’d butted heads too in theearly days) coordinating with him and his architect minions.

“I, too, am a big fan,” Caroline admits. “Though, honestly,you should really give cuddling a try. Totally relaxing.”

“Ew, pass.”

It’s an argument they’ve had before.

“Anyway,” Katherine says, so loudly that Carolineinstinctively glances towards the door. “Back to my story. Greta Martin thinksyou should stop being a total bitch to Klaus in meetings. Oh, and she’s alsoplanning on banging him.”

Caroline sits up, now outraged. “I am not…”

Katherine cuts her off, “You have been a little snippy thisweek.”

Only because Klaus has been baiting her.

“That’s just how we are. He pokes, I prod. He’s annoyinglysmug, all ‘oh, aren’t I the cleverest?’ and I like to knock him down.”

“Verbal foreplay is your thing,” Katherine says, adding aknowing nod.

She throws her hands up, collapsing back again. “Exactly! Mymarriage is freaking great and if that…”

Again, she doesn’t get to work up to a proper rant. Superannoying.

“That’s the best part!” Katherine crows. “She has no ideayou and Klaus are married! Talk about dumb people.”

Well, that’s mollifying. Slightly. Caroline will just haveto make things clear. Plans begin to form. She discards the racier ones (unlessGreta proves to be unwilling to take a hint). She twists her wedding bandabsently, “How has she not noted the rings?”

“Forget the rings. How she hasn’t noted Klaus’ doofybesotted face whenever you walk into a room is the bigger issue. Maybe sheneeds glasses?”

Maybe Caroline will get her assistant to shoot Greta anemail detailing the company’s excellent insurance coverage on Monday.

She hears the bottle clink and she shakes off her mentallists, shooting Katherine a glare. “You know, it would have been easy for youto clear up her misconceptions in that bathroom.”

Kat’s brows rise and she shoots Caroline a look like she’ssaid something totally insane. “And deprive myself of prime workplace drama?Please. You know how bored I get on Wednesdays when I have to sit in those dumblegal meetings.”

Caroline’s displeasure must read on her face because Kattosses her a bright smile, leaning forward and offering the bottle. Her toneturns placating, “Oh, relax, Cupcake. It’s harmless. You’ll probably forget allabout this little snafu over the weekend.”

Caroline’s does have big plans.

“Maybe,” she allows grudgingly. She stands, straighteningher pencil skirt. “Speaking of, I should go home and make myself pretty.”

“You’re going to do that gross airport make out thing, aren’tyou?”

Caroline smiles, not trying to hide the slightly mockingedge to it. “Usually, yeah. But Elijah’s not a guy who tolerates a scene.”

She relishes the freezing of Katherine’s body, the wideningof her dark eyes. Her hand flexes, looking for the bottle that had recentlybeen clutched there.

Caroline withholds it, setting it down and out of reach.

She’s not entirely sure what had gone down at the Christmasparty last year (Katherine was way better at keeping secrets no matter how muchliquor was applied) but she knows Kat’s red lip had been rubbed off and Elijah’svest had been buttoned incorrectly when she and Klaus had met the odd couple atthe elevator bank.

Kat had twitched a little at the mention of Elijah’s nameever since.

She adopts her sweetest expression, “Maybe the legalmeetings will be more exciting when Elijah’s leading them in person, hmm?”

Katherine’s mouth opens. Closes. She wiggles her toes to gether heels back in place before hopping off the desk. “I need to…”

She doesn’t finish her sentence, stalking out of the office.Caroline watches her go, both satisfied and bursting with curiosity. A speechlessKatherine Pierce? Caroline never thought she’d see the day.

She makes a mental note to tell Klaus, to wheedle until heagrees to pump Elijah for info. She didn’t often get bored at work, not whenshe could just pop into Klaus’ office and poke around in his projects. But hehad another trip on his calendar next month.

She won’t turn down a little in office entertainment whilehe’s gone.

[talented-headache]

Blame It On The Blonde

Pairing: HundarNova

Summary: James and Brett are stuck in a safe house together and it’s all Aleks’s fault. He should have known James was an idiot and crushing hard on their coworker. 

For the @ccsecretsanta

Merry Christmas, @tophatgoat it’s a little late but I hope you enjoy. 

[AO3 Link] [Link]

James wished he could blame Aleks on his now giant problem. Mostly because he’s been blaming his partner for year. For everything. But this all fell on James. It had been a rush decision and now he was the one stuck dealing with the consequences.

“I fucking hate the snow. There’s a very clear reason I moved to Los Santos.” Brett bitched at him. One hand moved from the steering wheel to wave at the window, the powdered snow instantly turned to water before being swept away from by the whippers. Every word had an emphasis that went along with the hand motions.

James looked up from his burner, one of the Fakehaus guys was watching Ein as they laid low for the next few weeks. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t constantly check in on his girl. He didn’t say anything to Brett yet he playfully rolled his eyes as they pulled into the Suburbian driveway, hours away from the city.

James stared at the boring and admittedly too small house they were forced to stay in. He had to block out the flashback of when he stood next to Aleks as everything fell apart around them. It was like the mist that closes in around headlights, barely there but creeping in with every rotation of the tires. He almost wished that instead of taking Aleks’s original spot he forced Brett and Lindsey to switch. Those assholes were going east towards warmer weather, bright lights, and gambling, while their latest group of stragglers they’ve adopted headed South to hid under FAHC’s protection.

James sat in the warm car for a minute after Brett stepped out to stretch his muscles. He could already feel his joints start to ache as the cold breeze hit his jacket from the open door. He reluctantly left when he felt the need to stand as his muscles jumped and twitched.

He smirked as he listened to Brett’s continuous grumbling as he shook his hat out, the snowflakes still clinging to it stubbornly. The grass could still be seen, barely, under the white layer but there was no doubt by morning there wouldn’t be any green in the neighborhood. James had to resist the urge to stare as Brett raked a hand over his smooth head, probably still getting used to the cold air against it.

James cleared his throat, not shocked that the noise didn’t startle Brett. He’s been making it for years to mess with people.

“Huh, then why did you fuckin’ pick this piece of shit?” James asked, the little actual irritation he felt bleed through as he moved to get his shit out of the trunk.

“I didn’t. Aleks did.” Brett said as he moved to stand next to him. “ I didn’t find out about this until he gave me the address in the van.”

James could feel the warmth from Brett’s arm as it brushed against his. “That’s what you fucking get for letting him plan shit.”

“Yeah, no more of that from now on.”

James laughed at him. They both knew if Aleks wanted to make a plan they’d make it happen with very little hesitation. Not in a friendship way either but the fact that they’re all danger junkies and their co-leader was the best at being reckless. It made their work easier.

Aleks had been so excited about planning the heist by himself, his confidence shot after their losses that year. He only took ideas from the crew and basically created a secret plan to surprise them. Early Christmas present he said. He had worked over those stupid plans and evacuations for months. But now they were successfully richer and stuck in a frozen hell hole; hours away from the city he was still learning to love.

“Are you even listening to me?” Brett cut through James’s thought process. He cringed as he was caught stuck in the past.

:Fucking, no.” James scoffed quickly grabbing his bags before walking to the door.

“Wow.” Brett laughed and opened the door for them. The house was barely decorated but it was furnished. And fucking freezing. James immediately found the thermostat, his body long used to the overbearing heat of Los Santos. Brett flopped onto the ugly fucking brown couch.

“Never thought I’d actually miss cow print.” James commented. Brett stretched his legs out in front of him and glared. He already had his phone out and was texting away on it.

“If you’re implying that you can sit on that fucking couch without contracting some venereal disease then do I have some news for you, buddy.”

James glared at him and loudly scoffed at him, ready to throw a fake fit. He bought that couch, the second of its kind, not long after their move. It wasn’t his fault that Aleks was a fucking dumbass.

~

James hated unpacking. He usually just leaves everything in his case until he needed it, which is exactly what he did. So he hung out on the bed until he really needed to move, which was hopefully never.

Night had already fallen over the neighborhood and he ate the few granola bars left over from the road trip. Brett promised a food delivery in the morning so he had no need to save them. The side crew has long since checked in so all he needed was to  here from Aleks and Lindsey. He wasn’t that worried about them, even if something went wrong those two could take care of it. They have before.

“James.” Brett’s voice carried across the house. James had gotten used to ignoring Brett’s irritated voice in the past few years. Mostly because he tended to not be on the receiving end of it. He closed his eyes and hoped if he pretended to sleep Brett would leave him alone, and while he really wanted to sleep but he couldn’t afford to fuck up his schedule more than he already had with the heist.

“James.” The irritation forced James up and out of the room before he even realized he was moving.

He could see Brett standing at the foot of his temporary bed. The scowl on his face was the one generally reserved for him and Aleks when their ideas went too far. This time is was thrown at a hideous red and yellow sweater he hung in front of his face.

“I thought we burned all those.” James said and Brett turned to look at him, he waved the sweater face stuck in between reprimanding James and chuckling with him.  

“They weren’t that bad, a few of the other Fakes definitely were though.” Brett said, his face went back to the dark irritation that plagued it when he walked in.

“Why did you even bring it? Can it even fucking fit you?” James said. He took the sweater from him and playfully pulled the arm of the sleeve to stretch it against Brett’s. He tried not to think about anything but making Brett laugh, especially the way his fingers barely skimmed his skin.

“I didn’t, you fuck.” He took the sweater back and threw it on the pile of clothes on the bed. “I didn’t bring these either.”

He pointed after it as it landed. The god awful mix of red and greens that could be seen under the sweater made James’s head hurt.

“What the fuck?”

“Exactly.” Brett answered, “All of my shirts are missing, even my work out ones.”

James breathed in deeply, the urge to scream almost too much as he turned to stare out the door then back at Brett.

“James?” Brett asked, James must have looked crazy because he did a few more times before he stomped out of the room. He rushed back to his own temporary room, he could almost feel the house shake with each step. Brett followed him back calling his name, amusement in his voice rather than concern.

He all but tore his bag in his rush to see the contents inside. He could barely hear Brett’s breathless laugh over his scream as his own pile of red and green formed on the bed.

~

I actually fucking hate you.

I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about this time.

~

“Can’t sleep?” Brett’s voice almost startled James out of his thoughts. Memories so far in the past that they felt like the melting snowflakes as they hit the window.

He shouldn’t even be sitting there, in the window. It’s might as well be the first rule of the safe house and if Aleks caught him James would actually get himself stabbed by his friend. James had to resist smiling at the thought of Aleks ranting at him as blood showed on his ghastly fake gold sweater.

“James.”

“What?” His headache only grew as the ambient noise he managed to block out filled the air. Not just Brett and his every movement but the wind against the house and the creaks created from it. Brett was silent and James didn’t even realize he had moved to stand in front of him, even with his sweater with what James had to assume was a fat Santa face. He held out a plain white mug out to James who gratefully took it.

“Tea?” James asked as he cradled the mug in his hands. The warmth grounded him in the present as Brett sat on the ledge with his own cup. “Is this tea?”

“Shut up and drink it.” Brett said, a small chuckle as he watched James sip from the cup purposely making a slurping noise as he did.

While silence filled the living room again, it was comfortable and relaxing. Completely different from terror of before. Terror isn’t the right word for it, more existential. Something Aleks would tell him is the same thing.

“Lindsey and I stayed in a place like this a few years ago.” Brett was the first to break the silence. James hummed at him, not necessarily prompting him on but not rejecting him either.

“It was more of a fucking shithole, though. The stove had been stolen and she broke the fucking door on the last night.” Brett’s nostalgic face seemed so different from James’s. He always assumed he was frowning when he thought but Brett looked content as he looked outside.

“How’d she fucking do that?” James’s voice was bordering too high pitched for the time of night but he never really cared and if Brett did he didn’t show it.

“No idea. I don’t actually remember much of that night.” James choked on his tea but it didn’t stop him from laughing at Brett. He always forgot the party side of the more responsible leader. It took him awhile to catch his breath from his wheezing and it was only because Brett gave him a ‘you done’ look.

“Look, I’m not going to pester you to talk about what’s going on in your head.” Brett started. James expected more but there wasn’t even a single ‘you’ve been quiet’ or anything.

“Thanks.”

“Now, finish your fucking tea and go to sleep.” Brett used his mug to point down the hall towards James’s room.

“I’m good. I don’t think sleep and I are going to get along tonight.” James offered, it was only a small fraction of the problem and usually only happened when he was far away from the crew. A few days was fine but no contact for a week outside initial contact wasn’t apparently.

“What, you want to braid each other’s hair and paint our toe nails?” Brett asked, the sarcasm in his voice on level with nearly every time he spoke. If it wasn’t for the amusement in his eyes James would believe he was actually irritated.

“You don’t exactly have much, dude.” James replied. “But a few more stories wouldn’t hurt.”

Brett stood but didn’t go far. He lent down and kept his face close to James’s. When he looked up at him Brett placed a small kiss to his forehead. “I’ll make more tea than. And if you’re a good boy I’ll tell you about mine and Joel’s French heist.”

“Fuck you!” James yelled out after him. All he got was a middle finger in return.

~

He was startled awake. For a second he couldn’t move his body as sleep still had a hold of him. He slowly reached his hand over to the other side of the bed only to feel the cold pillow. He didn’t panic, Brett had always been a morning person and James usually caught him after his new home workout during their long week trapped in the house. Besides nothing happened last night and James wasn’t one to cling anyway.

He almost let himself drift back to sleep when his interruption showed back up, he didn’t realize what was about to happen until it did. There was a distant crash from the outside of the door and light footsteps, but they were nothing compared to the shock of his door being kicked open. It bounced off the wall, hard enough to almost crack the drywall behind it and close again. James jumped the noise knocking the sleep from his eyes.

“Merry Christmas, you fucking bitch.” Aleks didn’t quite yell into the room but he did throw his lanky body onto the bed. He barely missed James as he bounced. He didn’t move away from his friend as they both relaxed into the bed.

“It’s ten in the morning. How are you already drunk?” James asked his head snuggled back into his pillow, a deep sigh coming from the true annoyance he felt.

“Oh, please. I’m tipsy at most, asshole. Lindsey made some home made eggnog. It’s fucking great, man.” Aleks replied, his face slightly red as he stared at the roof. It stood out from the blue pillow case in a way that made James wished he had his phone in hand. He’d have to remember it for later.

“Why are you even here?” he asked instead, already missing his alone time away.

“Fake AH crashed our down time. They fucking took the cops’ attention off of us with their own Christmas heist. We decided to have a family Christmas instead. Three days late but still, we even brought presents.” Aleks had that rare soft look on his face as he smiled over at James. It was still a recent thing to see him open with his emotions. Like being in control of his situation for once allowed him to do what he wanted without consequences or fear. It was more comforting than nice to see. James learned to ground himself in the present with it, one of the few changes that they needed.

He hummed and whipped the sleep crust from his eyes, purposely using his middle finger. Aleks just smiled at him. “How was the vacation?”

“Quiet.”

“I fucking doubt that.” Aleks snorted. His eyes scrunched up as he laughed at his own joke.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” James asked as he stretched his body. Aleks snorted and James saw his face light up.

“Yeah, dawg, if you hadn’t of asked for the switch I would have come up with some excuse to switch Brett and Lindsey.” He explained, the amusement in his voice as he moved to sit back on his elbows.

“I hate you, so much.” James reached over and kicked at him. Aleks continued to giggle and clutched onto the sheets as James attacked him. Eventually James managed to push him off the bed, yet he managed to take all of the blankets with him.

James let out a small screech as the comfort and warmth was taken from him. Aleks’s dumb head popped up from the side he landed on.

“Oh, good. You’re wearing pants.”

He groaned and grabbed his pillow. He flung it at Aleks’s face. It his with a thump and he dramatically went with the movement. He landed hard on the floor, hitting his head on the wall as he did.

“Hey! Stop fucking around.” Brett’s voice carried across the house. “Come decorate this stupid fucking tree.”

Aleks ran out of the room just as James threw another pillow at him. The last James saw of him was his middle finger as it rounded the corner. He slowly moved to follow Aleks, he groaned as the only available thing to throw on was a sweater that looked like it had cows fucking on it. They were probably supposed to be reindeer but the material made them look fat and round.

The first thing he saw as he entered the living room was the dead and brown pine tree. It wasn’t that tall, barely taller than Lindsey as she tried to toss some garland onto it. Aleks had already gotten another cup of eggnog and sat on the couch.

“Oh, good, that fuck got you out of bed.” Brett asked. He was leaning against the corner between the kitchen and living room. Today his sweater was neon green with red plaid all over it, even the words were made of the ugly combination.

“Is that a Fake Pine sweater?” James asked, barely restraining the giggle he had in his throat. Aleks and Lindsey didn’t.

“Yeah.” Brett shrugged, massive shoulders pulling at the seams slightly. “I hate it.”

“How did you do it?” James asked turning to the blondes, they were in the post laugh stuttery laugh stages. James scowled at them when they wouldn’t stop.

“A magician never reveals her secrets.” Lindsey replied, she bowed low and a piece of her hair got caught by one of the branches.

“She’s also the one to stash all the cars before the fucking heist.” Aleks pipped in. Lindsey threw an ornament at him. They bickered but it was lost on James as he moved to the kitchen to grab his own glass of eggnog.

“Sleep well?” Brett moved to stand behind him not quite touching him but close enough James could feel the heat from his chest. James thought about yelling at him and telling him to fuck off. Instead he smiled, a full mouth smile that everybody knew meant trouble. Brett scowled at him, eyebrows scrunched in confusion, and took a step back for his safety.

“Amazing. I think it was the tea. Really put me to sleep.” James said and drank from the cup he made. Brett opened his mouth to say something in return but was interrupted by the front door being thrown open.  

“Presents!” A voice called out and chatter filled the air as the living room.

“We’re right here, you bitch.” James yelled back at them as he stepped around Brett who just smirked down and followed him. “Stop fucking yelling.”

The side crew had filled the room, not everyone James hopped to see but he had no control over people he wasn’t in command of anymore. He still missed the flashes of tall teenager and brown hairs and short and long haired people. He forced it out of his mind as Aleks roughly grabbed a present from the hands of their new intern.

James sat on the couch with Aleks, they each took their own corner and it wasn’t long before Brett worked his way onto the middle seat. James allowed himself to slowly relax next to him as everybody started to sing some butchered version of Holy Night and threw tinsel at each other.

[alittleranting]

Yoonseok (Sope) Fanfic

So yeah hey see who had this on her laptop for almost a month and forgot to post it... So here you go, boo. @mysticalkpopper

You hear the rain pouring outside. Great.. really great, it's raining... What am I gonna do now? You'd planned to meet with your best friend Namjoon to have a BBQ. His little brother Jungkook and his best friend Taehyung also wanted to join you. But the guys were whining about the rain and cancelled it. Now you're just sitting in your living room, starring out of the window and whining yourself.. You let out a deep sigh and fall onto your sofa. You closed your eyes and think about that party you read about on a flyer. Initially you didn't wanted to go but it's your best option at this point. At least something you could look forward to. You decided to call your sister, maybe she has some time to come over. You dial her number: "Dawon?"

"Hey Hoseok, what's up?" "The guys cancelled and now I'm bored... Wanna come over?" "Sorry, but no I have to work the late shift today.. " "How come? You never have the late shift, unless..." "Bingo. My coworker bailed out because he wanted to go to a stupid party." "I actually thought of going to on myself..." "Mh ok, have fun then. Listen I have to go back to work but tomorrow I'll come over ok?" "Sure, see ya." "Bye." Dawon ended the call and you put your phone back on the coffee table. Another deep sigh leaves your mouth. You get up and drag yourself into the bathroom. A hot shower is probably the right thing with that unpleasant weather. After you finished you waddle to your bedroom. Still naked you stay in front of your closet. The hell should I wear? I have just too many clothes.. Yikes. Ripped jeans, a green button shirt and your new Balenciaga shoes probably will do it. It was still pretty early so you just put on your clothes and sat back down on your sofa. You scrolled through social media when you get a text from Namjoon.

"Hey Hobi what are you doing?" "Nothing really. I dressed up and think of going to that big party later. U?" "I went to a friend because he wanted my advice on his clothes. Guess he wants to go to the same party. But his type of clothes really aren't my style so I cant really say anything...." "Haha need my help?" "Technically yes but I can't just take pictures of him and send them to you.." "I mean TECHNICALLY you could." "Hobi you know I don't do stuff like that!" "Yeah yeah I get it. Then have fun playing dress up." "Thanks...."

Pfft.. Joon can play dress up with someone but won't grill a fucking steak with me. Guess I have to life with a fake ass bitch as my best friend. AND then he doesn't even send me pictures of that boy. Like come on maybe he has a cute ass.. I WANNA SEE!!!! Damn lucky noone can read your mind.. Your dramatic ass would be so embarrassed.

You take a look on your watch. In a while you could start walking to the location. You would still be one of the first there but then you can get a seat at the bar. You went into the bathroom to put on light make up and check yourself out for the last time. Grabbing your wallet, phone and keys you leave your apartment. You let google maps guide you too your destination and to your suprise there already is a queue. Nontheless you didn't have to wait long. You show your ID to the bouncer and get to enter the club. The room is huge and just a few people stand there in groups and are talking. The music isn't really loud yet so the atmosphere is rather relaxed. Just as planned you got a seat at the bar. You settled in and ordered a beer. After your third beer the club was pretty full, all those people were enjoying themselfs but you sat there alone. You started regretting coming on your own but after today you didn't wanted to mope anymore. Hesitantly you scoot down from the bar stool and make your way to the dance floor. As you start moving with the rhythm you feel you're in your element and lose yourself in the music. You don't even know for how long you danced when your bladder practicly screams at you. You drank six beer by now and your tolernace isn't high at all so you're pretty dizzy and waver to the restroom. Once you're there you look in the mirror. "Wow I look tousled." "Nah, you look pretty cute." A guy you didn't know showed up behind you and playfully slapped your ass while winking at you. He scared the shit out of you and you almost wet yourself. At the pissoir you bump into the guy next to you and murmer a 'Sorry' to him while making eye contact but your eyes didn't stay up there. They wander down to his dick. Mh not bad. Maybe a little small but definitly average.. I could make that work! The dude next to you eyes you. He's clearly uncomfortable with you checking him out BUT you couldn't care less right now. Finally relieved you go and wash your hand. You leave the restroom but not without checking yourself out a last time and fixing your hair. You decide it's better to take it slow so you return to the bar, take a seat again and order a glass of water to clear your mind. Moments later the barkeeper gives you your water and presents you 2 shots along side. "I DIDN'T ORDER SHOTS!" The bartender points to the other side of the bar. You follow his direction and see a young woman. Your eyes meet and she smiles gently at you. Not knowing what you should do you nod to her in appreciation and take a sip of your water. You listen to the music for a while but nothing they're playing at the moment sounds familiar to you. Suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder, as you turn around it's the pretty girl. "Don't you like liquor?" "WHAT?" "DON'T YOU LIKE LIQUOR?" She pointed to the shots that still set next to your glass. "I DO BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET SUPER DRUNK." "YOU DON'T SEEM REALLY SOBER TO ME." She laughed and took both shots in her hand, handing you one. She clinks the glasses and downs her shot. You follow her. "I'M HOSEOK." "NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M YEEUN." She held out her hand and you shook it. "THANKS FOR THE DRINK. Do you wANNA DANCE?" "DANCE?" "YEAH. YOU WANNA?" You got up and looked at her curious. She shrugged her shoulders and followed you into the dancing crowd. You two had some fun dancing together but at some point she started grinding against you. You try backing up a bit but get shoved into her by the jumping people around you. Yeeun gets really touchy and you feel uneasy. "LISTEN YOU'RE CUTE BUT YOU'RE NOT QUITE... MY TYPE." "I'M CUTE?" Her eyes shimmer and it seems like she wanted to kiss you but you step back and push her gently aside. You rush away from the crowd into the restroom and lock yourself into a cabine. Damn that was weid.I never really attract women so how the hell did that happen!? You take a deep breath and left the room just to see Yeeun waiting in the doorframe for you. "Why you ran away? Wanted to lure me into the restroom? Naughty." "Listen! I don't like girls ok?" "Wait what?" "I'm gay!" "Eum..." Her face turned really red and she left without saying anything else. Puh.. that was awkward... Am I always that weird with people? No, that's not possible, right? I can't recall ever having such a problem with a guy. As you were cought up in your thoughts something else came to your mind. Yeeun spreed the idea in you to also look for someone. You already saw some cute boys and if it wasn't for your bladder you could have been the pray of the guy in the restroom, maybe you can find him again. Walking through the mass you scan the people for someone who seems like a nice match for tonight. After a while you felt like sobering up so you thought getting back to the bar was the best shot for now. You felt like wasting your time, sure you had had some fun but suddenly lying in bed and watching an episode of Adventure Time sounds very temping. You emtied your forth glass and decide that it's time for you to go home. Once again you move through the people heading for the door but before you could reach it a guy walks in. He's wearing  tight leather pants and a cute crop top revealing a belly button piercing which matches his earings. He's really cute and the first thing that comes to your mind is: "DIBS!" The guy you were reffering to looks at you with a mixture of suprise and pride. Just then you realized that you didn't thought but spoke it out loud. Your cheeks got flashing red. You wanted to leave the scenery so badly but the guy you dibsed still stood there blockig your way. You ran as fast as possible into the crowed aiming for the restroom to lock you up. You were panicking and the first person you thought of was Namjoon, you needed his help. You figet with your phone needing quite some time to unlock it and finding Namjoons chat. Guess I wasn't sobering up, just thirsty for more liquor. I'm drunk as hell. "Namjoon!!!!!!!!" "I fked up!1!!!!" "Im rlly druk n I yelled dibs at that hot guy that entrt the club.........." "Help!!!!!!!!!!!!" Namjoon didn't take long to reply. After seeing a dozend of cry-laughing smileys he actually send a text message. "Calm down, everything's alright. Yoongi just texted me literally the same, bragging about the fact that his outfit was hot and that some random dude yelled dibs at him." "YOU KNOW HIM!?!????!" "Yes I know him. I told you I helped a friend with his outfit for a night out. That was him. Just talk to him. You can even say that you know me or do you want me to text him for you?" "NO!! Pls dont! Ill tak to him." "OK, have fun, Hobi. And just so you know it: He's gay and on the hunt. ;D" You put your phone away and lean against the closed door. You close your eyes and try to foces. What should I say? How can.. Your thoughts got disturbed by a knocking on the door. "You in there?" "Wh-who's there?" "The guy you just dibsed. Wanna collect your price?" Not thinking twice you rip open the door and just look at the guy who's named Yoongi. "What?" "I mean you called dibs, you look good, so here I am." You still don't move and just look at him with wide eyes. Yoongi sighs and grabs your hand, you don't resist and move along with him to the bar. You refuse to drink more liquor but Yoongi downs 3 shots. "By the way I'm Yoongi." "I know, Namjoon told me about you." "Huh? You know him?" "He's my best friend." "Ahhh you're Hoseok." "He told you about me?" "Of course.  Although I'm hurt he never introduced us." "Mh maybe he had his resons. Do you dance?" "No." "But-" "I said no." "Why so stern?" "I- I can't dance." "Have you seen all those people? You really call that dancing? That's just body wiggling." You show him your bright, heart shaped smile and laugh about your own words. Yoongi just smiles at you with gentle eyes. "You know, you seem like a fun guy. Maybe it would be ok to try dancing with you." This time you're the one grabing Yoongi's hand and nevigate him to the dance floor. You start moving your body once again to the rhythm not taking your eyes of Yoongi who just stands there awkwardly. You grab his hand and spin him around until he's laughing. He sounds cute. You put your hands on Yoongis waist because he was dizzy and stumbling all over the place. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" "YES. Yes." He seemed to relax beause he started dancing again on his own and you joined him. After a while you grew confident and searched for more body contact. You scoot closer to him and lay your arms around him grinding against his ass. Suddenly you stopped your movement having a deja vu. Just as you wanted to make some space between you two you realize that he leaned into your embrace and moves along side with you. Probably wondering why you stopped moving Yoongi turned around and looked at you with a puzzled expression. You scan his facial features, the soft lips that form a pout, his dark eyes that search for an answer regarding your behavior, the cute nose, his heavy but decent looking make up. You didn't know what came over you but you cupped his face and pressed your lips against his. Yoongi widened his eyes but he didn't pull away. He slung his arms around your neck and traces his tounge over your lips searching for access. You part your lips and let your tounge play with his, due to the alcohol he tastes sweet and bitter at the same time. Lost in each other you just stand there kissing each other. Your hands wander down and grab his ass which feels squishy although he's wearing those tight pants. Yoongi suddenly breaks the kiss. "LET'S GO." With that he starts walking towards the exit and you trail behind him. Once you two are outside Yoongi reconnect your lips. In a short break he whispers into your ear: "Your place or mine?" "Ehm..." Fuck... fuck fuck FUCK. Should I go home with him? Or take him with me? Should I even at all!? I know I wanted to 'hunt' but know that it's at that point I'm not sure. Should I? Your head was spinning. All those thoughts rush through your head and the fresh air just makes everything spin even more. "Hey, are you alright?" "No, I don't feel so good." "Damn should I call you a cab?" "No no it's fine, I'll walk home." "Are you sure?" "Ye-" You couldn't finish your sentence because you vomited. "Sorry.. I can't take alcohol well." "I see..." Yoongi moved away some steps and pulled out his phone. "Hey Joon it's me. You think you could pick up Hobi? He's pretty drunk and I don't want to put him into a cab. - Yes? - OK. - Alright, I'll wait. - Yes, see ya." "OK, Namjoonie is gonna pick you up." "As I heared... Thank you." "No problem." Yoongi trudges around in a circle, repeatedly blowing air in and out of his right cheek. After what felt like eternity Namjoon arrived and put you into the car. "Thanks for looking after him, Yoongs. Should I take you home?" "Nah, I'm fine. I guess I just go back into the club." "OK, see ya." "Bye."

You see Yoongi vanish into the building while you try to smile at Namjoon but it came of more as a sad grin. Namjoon took a deep breath and shook his head. "What were you thinking Hobi? You know you don't take alcohol well.." "I know..." "You're lucky Yoongi knows me, who knows what could have happend." "I know..." He sighs and manoveurs you onto the backseat. You plomp down and curl into a ball. Namjoon gets into the drivers seat and brings you home. Once at your doorstep he pulls your keys out of your backpocket and even brings you to your bedroom. "Can I leave you alone or should I stay with you?" "No it's fine. I'll just lay down and sleep." You let yourself fall face forward into the mattress. You feel how Namjoon takes off your shoes and throws a blanket over you. "I wait until you fall asleep." "Thanks Joonie." "Of course." The bed bunks down beside you and you feel his hand caressing your back and ruffling your hair. Immediately you drift into a deep slumber. When you wake up the next day you take a look at the clock. It's the middle of the day and you kind of want to turn around and sleep some more but you're grossed out by your own smell. Alcohol, sweat and smoke - the holy trinity of a clubs smell. You rise your heavy feeling body from the bed and undress, on your way to the bathroom you grab a fresh pair of boxers and a cozy sweater. Finally under the shower you start to relax. The warm water pouring over your body seems to wash away your sever headache. At least a little bit of it. Now that your head is somewhat clearer you start to think of the previous night. You face palm yourself and lean against the cool tiles behind you. Oh god what the fuck did I do last night... I have to ask Namjoon for Yoongis number so I can apologize or maybe I just should make sure to never see him again so I can't embarrass myself even more.. You finish your shower, quickly dress up and your first instict is to call your sister. "Dawon, where are you?" "I'm on my way to you. Why, do you need anything?" "No. I'm just... stressed." "Tell me, I can hear it in your voice. But I have to rumble some myself so prepare some tea, it's gonna be a long ted talk!" "Oh- ok." Before you knew it she already hung up. You made the tea and didn't have to wait any longer for her to knock. You ripped open the door and fall into her arms, hugging her tight. "Dawooooon... I messed up big times... It's so embarrassing." "Stop whining. When you're like this I almost forget I'm younger then you." "But -" "No but. Just sit on yours and drink your tea. I give you some time to calm down. In the meanwhile just listen to me because otherwise I'm going crazy because of my coworker! I mean yeah he's pretty funny when you know him and he sometimes is a real weirdo but boy.. oh boy you have no fucking clue how annoying he can be. If something happened to him he's going to talk about it FOREVER. If it was something bad he pouts all day and whines about it and if it was something positive he's going to brag about it. But the worst is if both happend. Like something good tuning bad. For example today he was just sitting in the corner not really working saying he was "too upset" because this really cute guy from yesterday messed up or some shit. I didn't even listen. If Yoongi continues like this I'm seriously going to kill him." "Yoongi!?" "Yeah Yoongi, my coworker. Do you know him?" "No. Nononono. NO! Just no." "Hobi what the hell is your problem?" "That's the guy from yesterday.." "What do you mean?" "I'm the one who messed up. I'm the dude he's talking about!" "Wait WHAT?" "I told you I wanted to go to that party and he -Damn it makes sense you even told me your coworker wanted to go to that party..." "Oh god what happened?" "I kinda made out with him, wanted to take him home and vomited in front of him..." "No you didn't." "Yes I did." "Oh my fucking god." "Yup.." "But look at the bright side. You at least made enough of an impression to him so he whines about it to me." "I really don't see anything positive about that." "Didn't you listen to me earlier? He called you cute and was sad that that happened because he really wanted to go home with you." "You think so?" "Yes. Because, like I said, he wouldn't shut up about it." "And now?" "What do you mean 'and now'? You'll fucking talk to him and grab that ass." "Dawon! What the fuck?" "What? I'm maybe younger then you but I'm not an innocent child. Shocking news: I already had sex." "Dawoooon... I know that but I honestly don't wanna think about it." "God, I'll give you his number and you text him." "I don't want to." "Why? You just wanna handle it as a failed flirt? You know the chances of meeting him again aren't that small." "OK... Give me his number. I'll think about it." "Good." Dawon gave you Yoongis number, you drank your now cold tea and talked a little more. The day went by fast and it was already evening again. You texted Namjoon also asking him for advice how to handle the situation but he also just suggested you to talk it out or actually ignore it and hope to never meet him again. You spend the night thinking a lot before you go to sleep.

Almost a whole week past since the night you were out and you still hadn't texted Yoongi. Dawon as well as everyone else around you who by now knew about it teased you. You were almost sure at this point even Yoongi had heared about your stupid behavior. You just came home from work and sat infront of your food. You took your phone out, opened the still empty chat with Yoongi and started typing. "Hi here is Hoseok, the guy from the party last week." You paused and read the sentence again and again, the deleted it. No that sounds stupid... You start typing again. "Hello, I don't know if you remember me but I'm the dude who wanted to fuck you and RUINED IT BECAUSE I FUCKING VOMITED!!!!!!!!!" Yeah really subtile.. definitly perfect.. Damn what should I say.. You deleted it again and took a deep breath. "Hi here is Hoseok. I got your number from my sister, Dawon. Seems like you guys are working together. I wanted to apologize for fucking up. I really can't handle alcohol well. Would be awsome if we could meet up again. Sober this time." You hit send so you wouldn't overthink everything again although you regreted it instantly. OK, now we have to wait and hope for the best. Almost immeditaly your phone was vibrating. "Took you long enough to text me. If you want we can meet up. Mh Dawon.. now that I think about t you two do look very similar. Where do you wanna meet?" OK his text was kinda rude and all over the place but sure... I don't know where.. how about the when? "Yeah I guess we do. I don't have a special place in mind but let's start with the fact when we could meet up." "How about right now?" "OK?" "Good. Meet me in 2 hours at the new mall in the city center." OK.. ok.. okokok don't panic you can do that! Yes you can. I just need to change my clothes. You ran into your bedroom, throughing your working clothes into a corner and standing there once again with a puzzled look, not knowing what to wear. You look for almost 30 minutes before you go with shorts and an oversized white shirt that you tuck in in the front. Before you rush out you put tennis socks, a cap and some random shoes on and grab your essentials. oyu arrive just in time and see Yoongi already standing there at the front door. He seems even smaller then the last time because he's wearing a wide hoodie and skinny, ripped jeans. If he wouldn't have looked into your direction you almost wouldn't have recognized him because the bucket hat he's wearing covers almost his entire face. You approach him with a big smile but he doesn't react. he just sips from the coffee he's holding. "Hi?" "Hey." "I just wanted to say sorry again. I was gross." "It's fine. Shit happens." Yoongi waves his hand, symbolizing you should follow him, what you do. You goes inside the huge building. "My coffee is almost empty. Do you mind if we go grab a new one?" "No sure." You weren't familiar with the building therefore you just trailed behind Yoongi. Both of you didn't say anything. You got nervouse because you asked for this meet up but now it's just kinda awkward. Lost in your thoughts you bump into Yoongi who came to an holt. "Watch your step." "Oh yeah sorry." You look into his face and you think you see him smile a little while he shakes his head in disbeliefe. He orders an Iced Americano while you just grab a bottle of Sprite from the little fridge. Yoongie pays for both your drinks and trails off again. You murmer a thank you and follow him silently. Yoongi walked to a little bench and set down. You two just set there sipping from your beverage. Almost 20 minutes pass when you finally say something. "Soo... Why did you want to meet here if we're just sitting around? Wouldn't a café been more effective?" "Mh. I like the coffee here. I don't visit places I'm not familiar with." "But at some point this place also was unknown to you, wasn't it?" "Mh yeah." "See so you do had to try it first. Wanna be crazy and actually go around the mall?" "You mean strolling around and buying useless stuff? No thanks." "Oh come on." You stood up and held your hand out. When Yoongi wouldn't take it you took his hand yourself and interwind your fingers. "Come on grandpa. Let's have some fun." Yoongi didn't answer but he didn't seem to complain either. When you looked at him to find out what his mood was you saw him starring at the floor. He was trying to shield his face with his hat to hide the fact he was smiling. You thought it was so adorable that he's that shy. After searching for a while you found a little store that had decor and accessoires. You dragged Yoongi inside and let go of his hand to rummage through the shelves. On a little stand in one corner there was a little pink plastice crown, you grabed it and got back to Yoongi. You snatched his hat away and replaced it with the crown. He glared at you and made his infamous pout that Dawon told you about. You couldn't help it but melt. You cup his face and coe at him. "Oh my life you're sooo cute." At a loss of words Yoongi got all shy and blushed like furious. Not thinking about it you kissed him straight away. He melted into your embrance and slung his arms around you. You two got down from cloud 9 when you heared someone behind you. "Ew damn faggots, kissing where everyone can see it. Disgusting." Yoongi looked shocked and didn't seem to dare saying something. You on the other side grew brave when you're angry. "Your face is also disgusting and nontheless do you walk around in public were everyone can see you. So as long as you don't walk around with a paperbag on your head, I'm gonna kiss whoever wherever I want." Grabing Yoongis hand again you turn around and stumb away. You aimed for the exit when Yoongi suddenly stopped you. As you turnt around you  saw him pointing to the top of his head. Just then you realized he was still wearing the crown and neither of you payed for it. Luckily there seemed no price tag to be on it or something that could have activated the alarm of the store. You just stood there not knowing what to do when Yoongi started laughing. You hadn't heared him laugh so far and it was contagious. "Damn ok, I give up. You're right I should try new stuff more often. That was fun. I mean did you see the face of that dude? He didn't expect that comeback tho. Damn Hoseok you're cool." Now you're the blushing one and you just smile at him. Yoongi stepped unexpectedly close to you and almsot whispered to you. "Say, do you want to continue were we left off?" "Are you seriously asking that? Of course!" "Then let me ask again: Your place or mine?" "I live almost an hour away from here so probably your place." "I actually also live quite far away.." "Mh.. up to some more new things?" "What do you mean?" You looked around for your destination and quickly found it. "Just follow me." You didn't expect it but Yoongi willingly took your hand in his and interwind your fingers again. He was blushing a little bit and you wanted to kiss him so badly that you hurry to get to the area where the toilets are. You go in the one for disabled people because it's a single stall and further away from the main area then the normal ones. Once both of you were inside and the door was lockes you pin Yoongi against the wall and kis him passionatly. His lips are increadible soft and his body pressed against yours feels just too good. You put one of your legs between his to fixate him in that position but Yoongi uses the opportunity to grind himself on your leg. While your lips were still connected soft moans slip past his mouth. As he was stimulating hisself you feel your own lenght hardening. Seeing Yoongi enjoying himself turns you on. You let one hand wander down to cup his ass while you slide the other on up his hoodie andplay with his nipples. It takes only a few flicks to make him fully moan. He then drops down on the floor pulling your pants down with one swift move, revealing your throbing cock.  He pumps his hand up and down and licks over the tip of your dick. Soon enough he replaces his hands with his mouth, sucking you off. "Oh fuck, You're really good." You press his head down and rock your hips forth and back. Yoongi seemed to be encouraged because he bobbs his head even faster on your dick. You were lost in the feeling of his warm and wet mouth around you when Yoongi pulled away. He slid his own pants down. "Please fuck me!" He doesn't have to ask you twice for that. You lift him up and place him on the sink. You shove two fingers in his mouth. "Lube them." While Yoongi sucks on your fingers and lets his tounge play around your fingertips you stroke his little cock.Once your fingers were wet enough you glide both of them into his ass. He grabs onto your arms and inhales deeply. You scissor his ass open, you wanted to be rough with him but not too harsh. Soon Yoongis insides were clenching around your fingers in the hope for more. That's when you replace your fingers with your cock. Yoongi moaned loud and arched his back when you entered him. You placed a hand on his mouth and hold his other hand while you push your whole lenght in. Once you were fully burried inside him you slowly start moving. Fully out and back in. You want him to feel every inch of you filling him up. After a few more thrusts Yoongi closed his legs behind you pushing you deeper. "God dammit, stop teasing and fuck me already!" "As you wish, your majesty." Yoongi was flustered but didn't take down his crown. You kissed him to keep him muffled while your hips thrust into him fast and deep. Yoongi pulls at your hair to keep you as close as possible, enjoying your embrance. The small room fills with hot air and both of you start sweating. Longing for better excess you decide to put Yoongi down and shove him face forward into the wall; fucking him from behind. You play with his niplles and watch his small penis twitch with every delecate touch of yours. You feel the tention building up inside you, so you place your arm around his waist  pulling him closer and holding him by his throat pushing his head onto your shoulder while you increase your pace. You can see Yoongis eyes roling back into his head and nothing more then a pleasured whimmer escapes his mouth. You grunt into his ear. "Do you like being fucked like that little prince?" Because Yoongi didn't answer you stopped your movement. He's being needy and trys to move on his own but you hold im thight in place. "Answer me." You place a sweet kiss on his forhead. "Yes. Yes, I love how you fuck me. Please don't stop!" Satisfied with his words you pick up your speed and thrust relentlessly into Yoongi until you come inside him. His warm walls milk your cok and he himself came almost untouched. Yoongi made a mess on the tiles infront of him. He turns around kisses you eagerly. "Wow, we definitly need to do that again in the future." "We can repeat that as often as you want. I would glady fuck your fine ass again." Feeling playful you wink at him and show him a bright smile. Yoongi hits you soft and laughs himself. "You're an idiot." "If you agree  on seeing me more often, I may be your idiot someday." "Mh.. you know, I actually kinda like the idea of that."

[minaminokyoko]

How about favourite captain America movies scenes?

WELL YOU ASKED FOR IT PAL.

The First Avenger

-Steve at the movie theater, telling that douche to shut up and getting his little ass kicked for his trouble. Oh, Steve. Goddammit, Steve. You are too pure and good and wonderful for all of us. I like that it’s both a good quality trait and a weakness for Steve that he can’t abide bullies and he’ll stand up to anyone even if all it means is he’ll just get the stuffing beaten out of him. Plus, Bucky stepping up to help his idiot best friend is so heartwarming it’s insane. I love that Bucky is just fucking used to Steve getting himself beaten up because he stands up to shitty men. That’s best friends for you. 

-Peggy punching the bejeezus out of Whatshisface in the troops’ first scene together. Oh, dear Lord. Where do I start? First, her telling him to step forward. Second, the completely placid look before she does it. Third, the fact that she puts his bitch ass on the ground no trouble. Fourth, Steve’s appreciative smile. Fifth, the General not even blinking that she flattened that douche. It’s just brilliant.

-Steve jumping on the grenade. Standing ovation. Steve is too good and too pure a cinnamon roll for any of us.

- “Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.” This is the heart and soul of Captain America and Steve Rogers and I cannot stress enough how this is honestly probably my favorite scene of the movie. We follow this guy not because of the strength of his body, but the strength of his heart. Steve has all the heart.

-Bucky and Steve being reunited. The best bros just knock it out of the park. 

-Peggy’s reaction to Steve returning with all the captured soldiers. Seriously, it is the most NC-17 thing I’ve ever seen in a PG-13 movie. That smile Steve gives her and the smile she gives him right back is 100% code for “if we weren’t in the middle of this camp right now, I would tear your clothes off and fuck you to Jupiter and back.” It’s such a pure, awesome moment of sexual tension, and it’s done in such a classy way. I love that scene to death. They eye-fucked the shit out of each other and I adore the overwhelming yet subtle acknowledgement of what’s going on between them.

-Steve having a picture of Peggy in his pocket watch, and the fact that Peggy sees this during the little film montage. I want to scream. I LOVED the General giving her an amused side eye but not actually saying anything. It was a wonderful little nod to Steve’s reciprocated feelings for her. 

-Steve and Peggy’s kiss. Whyyyyyyyyyyy, Lord? Whyyyyyyyyyy? Why didn’t they get more time together?! They were so fucking cute and I know if they’d have gotten together, it’d have been amazing and wonderful and they would have been so happy. Dammit.

The Winter Soldier

Disclaimer: Legit, The Winter Soldier is arguably one of the best comic book movies ever made and it is taking so much restraint for me not to list the entire goddamn film as my favorite scene, because I love it from end to end. Gun to my head, I’d say my Top 3 MCU films would be this, Ragnarok, and either Avengers 1 or Avengers 3. It’s really hard to pick out scenes in a perfect movie.

-Sam and Steve’s introduction to each other. The sheer chemistry here is stellar. I was in stitches that Steve Rogers was just okay with teasing a total fucking stranger for no reason other than just lolz. I love that TWS starts out reminding us that Steve isn’t some humorless do gooder. He has a great sense of humor and he’s just a friendly guy in general, so they couldn’t have picked a better scenario to introduce their dynamic. I adore that opening scene, man.

-Taking back the ship. Fuck, dude. Talk about one of the best executed action scenes in the MCU. Everything from Cap racing around just laying those fucking dudes out on his own to Nat popping in to the absolutely genius execution of Cap vs. Batroc. Oh, if a film scene could get me pregnant, it’d be that one, man. I fucking love that entire damn sequence.

-Nick Fury vs. Hydra. I appreciate this simply because we saw some badass Nick Fury in Avengers, but this was a delightful addition to remind us that the man is the head of SHIELD for a reason. He is NOT to be fucked with. He is a very capable agent and held his own and it was awesome.

-The elevator fight scene. ‘Nuff said.

-Natasha confronting Steve with the flash drive. So this was the first moment where I knew I was going to ship Captasha/Romanogers until the end of time, regardless of the canon. I loved this interaction. Steve is frustrated and suspicious, and so is Nat, but they both find a common ground and realize neither one is actually the enemy. I especially love: “Bye bye, bikinis.” “Yeah, I bet you look terrible in ‘em now.” That snark tho. Cap is flawless, and there is a healthy dollop of sexual tension delightfully overlaid with this scene of him backing her up against a wall and then her showing some skin. Yas lawd. 

-Steve and Nat undercover at the mall. Not only is it just funny as hell and delightfully awkward, but it really shows off the great chemistry between the two of them. You’d think that with them being polar opposites that they’d butt heads, but they actually just complement each other extremely fucking well. Then there’s the exquisite escalator kiss. I mean, mm, did that look yummy. Even Steve comes out of it like, “well, damn.”

-The car conversation on the way to Jersey. I think that I would’ve only liked this movie, not loved it, if Nat hadn’t been there. I think Nat’s presence is what helped make this one of the MCU’s best films period. The honesty between them as they have probably one of their first real conversations getting to know each other is amazing. I adore this scene. I adore seeing them bond. “That’s a tough way to live.” “Good way not to die, though.” I think that is one of the best lines in the whole MCU, personally. 

-Recovering at Sam’s place. First off, the two of them sharing the guest room and bathroom says a whole lot of shit right there. It’s an implied intimacy. Then Cap walking over and just knowing in his gut that Nat isn’t okay, and just gently, gently asking her what’s wrong is so important to both of their characters. You get to see them go from coworkers to friends and from friends to good friends in such an amazingly short period of time that it’s so heartwarming. Evans and Johansson have worked on several films together, and this is definitely one of those things where they just play off each other so well from being friends in real life. I love the inflections. I love the close up on their expressions. I love how Steve is able to get Nat to lower her walls and just talk to him about how she’s feeling, and how she sincerely thanks him, and how she’s even a little scared when she asks “if it were down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?” and Steve emphatically answers, “I would now” and then smiles at her so sweetly and makes a little joke. I just…my heart, man. My heart. Steve and Nat’s relationship is possibly my favorite out of all the Avengers, and I should note that Chris Evans ships it and I am really happy about that fact.

-The Winter Soldier’s attack. Flawless. This fucking sequence is flawless. Getting to see everyone’s skills on display, and then capped with the emotional realization from Steve that his best friend is not only alive, but has been brainwashed and is trying to kill them, is just so great. Huge, huge kudos to Evans, Stan, Mackie, and Johansson as well as their stunt team and the choreographers, because it’s some of the most gorgeous, polished action I’ve ever laid eyes on. Especially Evans and Stan’s fight. Wow, that could not have been easy and it’s all them when there are close ups during the knife fight. I really appreciate them going HAM on that shit. It turned out beautifully.

-“But I knew him.” Yep. Let me die. Just let me die. Poor tortured Bucky’s memories surfacing at the sight of his best friend saying his name just tears me up inside. Ugh. Bury me. 

-Cap remembering Bucky’s words after his mother’s funeral. Bury me again.

-Cap’s speech to SHIELD after they arrive at the HQ. Hnnnnnnngh. I would die for Steve Rogers. Without question. This speech is why. He knows that he might die trying to stop Hydra, but he gives those people the choice to do what’s right at great cost, and he believes that they will do the right thing, and he’s absolutely right. I had mentioned years ago that this is why the DCEU’s current Superman has failed; that trait, believing in people despite evidence pointing to the opposite, is what make Cap and Superman two American icons. This is why we rally behind them as characters. Because they believe in us and they believe we are worth protecting. It’s a fucking shame the DCEU writers don’t understand that and have forced a decent actor like Henry Cavill to be a morose, joyless, brooding Superman, and don’t even try to tell me they “fixed” him in the JLA movie, because they retconned it and thought that did the trick, and they were wrong. What Cap said in that speech is precisely why he is as great a man as we’ve all come to love over the years. It’s nothing short of incredible.

-The entire ending helicarrier sequence. Good to the last fucking drop, man. Everything about it is flawless. Especially “You’re my mission!” “Then finish it. ‘Cause I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.” Cue me screaming and crying and clawing down my curtains. Bucky pulling Steve from the river turns me into an absolute wreck of emotions. 

Civil War

-Cap consoling Wanda after the bullshit news report. Man, fuck the whole ass world for that reaction, by the way. Wanda saved that entire marketplace full of people, but she still got blamed for intervening anyway, and we know Crossbones would’ve killed countless people if they hadn’t stopped him, so you can all fuck off. But what I really like about this scene is Cap’s almost fatherly concern for her, knowing she was still recovering from the pain of losing her twin brother not too long ago. He understands the loss and the pain she feels and knows that she has doubts about herself and he’s there to assure her he doesn’t blame her, if that is any consolation. Cap is so conscious of her needs and emotions that it’s extremely touching to see, even though the scene is brief.

-The team going over the Accords and choosing sides. This was very well done, as everyone’s reactions are very interesting. I personally don’t see how the hell anyone could be Team Iron Man, but that’s just me. I at least like that Tony’s actions are justified in that he has been trying so hard this whole time to do the right thing, but it feels like the harder he tries, the more awful things become until he’s left with no good choices at all. I feel for him. So much. I feel for Cap as well knowing that about Tony and yet being unyielding in his feelings about the Accords.

-Nat comforting Steve at Peggy’s funeral. Cue gross sobbing. Damn, this is why I ship Captasha so hard. She tells him that she’s pretty much going along with the Accords for the sake of keeping their little family together if possible, and Steve sadly tells her he can’t do it, but she already knows, and she’s just there to support him. That’s love. You can debate if it’s platonic or romantic, but that scene is just pure love between Nat and Steve. She is there for no other reason than to hug her friend and check on him and make sure he knows he is not alone in this awful time in his life. It’s by far one of the most touching scenes in the entire MCU. 

-The death of T’Chaka. Oh my God. Give Chadwick Boseman all the awards. How did we become that emotionally attached to him in such a short amount of time? Wow. I mean, wow, was that powerfully acted. 

-Nat warning Steve not to intervene. Again, you can’t tell me these two people don’t love each other. She’s so worried about him, and even Sam acknowledges that she’s not wrong to want them to stay out of it since they’ll now get arrested. 

-Everyone chasing after Bucky. Hnnnnnngh, yes please, this shit was awesome. Especially Cap and T’Challa racing over moving fucking cars and Bucky snatching that motorcycle mid-air. I love that scene with all my heart and soul.

-”So, you like cats?”

-Bucky’s escape. Seriously, the Winter Soldier is not to be trifled with. Holy hell, does he put everyone through their paces.

-Tony recruiting Peter Parker. And now we have it, the shining crown jewel of Tony Stark’s development as a character, in the form of a tiny adorable baby he adopts to fight a ninety year old veteran. I know, right? I never expected that Tony recruiting Parker would be anything like what we got and yet it’s by far one of my favorite relationships in the MCU. It’s so genuinely cute and sweet and the word choice during that scene in Parker’s room is very important from a character standpoint. “When you can do what I can do, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen…they happen because of you.” Without saying it out loud, they were able to convey what happened to Uncle Ben, and that’s really good storytelling, man. You see this kid is hurt and blames himself and he will do anything to make up for his sins. Tony is even touched by it. Plus, the humor in that scene is awesome and it’s so warm and evident that RDJ and Tom Holland really got along and had chemistry.

-Recruiting Scott Lang. It’s so brief, but that fucking scene puts me in stitches every time, especially Paul Rudd’s improv of grabbing Chris Evans’ shoulders when he sees just how goddamn built and cut the man is. I thought that was genius. It’s so perfect.

-”Can you move your seat up?” “No.”

-The airport fight scene. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. This is so good. For so many reasons. How it’s staged. How it starts off quiet and it slowly builds tension. How Tony is so hurt that Cap appears to be choosing Bucky over him, how Cap is protecting him, how Tony absolutely doesn’t want to fight his friend and yet they are on opposite sides anyway. “You’re gonna come with us because it’s us.” The utter desperation in Tony’s eyes when he almost begs Cap to turn himself in is so heartbreaking. It kills me, man. Emotions aside, I simply love all the fights and the various match ups. Especially Spidey versus Bucky and Sam (”Couldn’t you have done that earlier?” “I hate you.”) and Spidey versus Cap (”That thing does not obey that laws of physics at all!”) and Spidey versus Ant Man. It’s all so glorious.

-Nat stopping T’Challa from getting to Bucky and Steve. It’s raining on my face. “You’re not gonna stop.” “You know I can’t.” “I’m gonna regret this. Go.” It’s so important. It’s so important, y’all. Nat chose Steve when it mattered most and I ship them until my dying breath.

-“Vengeance has consumed you. It is consuming them.” All the awards, Chadwick. All the motherfucking awards. 

-The final scene of Steve walking up to Sam’s cell. There’s just something about the playful confidence and determination in his expression that despite how sad the ending is that Tony and Cap are no longer on speaking terms that it gives you just a tiny flicker of hope that maybe things will be okay for Team Cap. 

Well, there you go. Cap and Thor are currently tied for the top spot in my heart of Favorite Avenger, hence all the word vomit. Sorry, not sorry. 

[bpdsafespace]

okay just gotta rant right quick

so once upon a time 7 years ago (i was 16, i’m 23 now) my first boyfriend broke up with me because he needed space and what-not you know the usual line they give you when they want somebody, just not you and he was sleeping with this girl like two weeks later (mind you, we were dating for 6 months and i didn’t sleep with him because he was my first boyfriend and i was like terrified and stuff, wouldn’t even give him a blowjob which is probably why he liked her better but :) don’t even wanna get into that) and this girl wasn’t really friends with me but she was the kinda girl who said i love you to everyone so she was always like I LOVE YOU to me and i’m like haha okay this girl is wild. meanwhile i found out she was sleeping with my ex-boyfriend and i was like wow fuck you but whatever, i was more mad at him. months passed and i ended up being best friends with this girl… how you ask? well, her and my ex broke up and i was like LET’S BEFRIEND THE GIRL HAHA SCREW YOU JOE (my ex) and anyways yeah we were bffs and everything was great and i loved her a lot, she ended up being cool and we’d rag on my ex all the time and it was a great friendship.

fast forward about six months later and i started dating this new guy and this girl’s starting to sleep around and i’m like ah none of my biddnezz w/e girlfriend you do you but she ends up hooking up with this guy who has no interest in being in relationships (i ran into him recently and his number is SEVENTY EIGHT NOW. SEVENTY EIGHT) and i specifically remember an instance where she had a party at her house and everyone was drinking and she made everyone leave DRUNK because she decided she wanted to drive to see him instead of host her party people were counting on her to host. so i’m starting to see the warning signs again that this girl is wild like she’s just an unreliable person and i’m not mad at her for the joe thing but like i know that’s the kinda person she is. so soon after this girl tells me that my boyfriend was flirting with her, now of course i’m like ahhh there’s my girl, always thinks every guy is obsessed with her. maybe i was being a bad friend but i mean, everyone knew she was like that and it’s not like my boyfriend tried to hook up with her… so alright. anyways. my boyfriend HATED her for telling me anything, called her a liar and shit, and i was like okay buddy calm down it’s not a big deal you’re just a flirty person, i’m not mad and i still like her. then some crazy shit started happening like she started cutting herself because of that boy who slept with everyone and she sent a mass text to all of us that she was killing herself and shut her phone off. obviously (or not obviously at the time for me because i never knew it was a thing) the girl has bpd. and even though it was totally attention-seeking behavior, i was like this girl needs attention. so i drove to her house and she was literally just sitting in her room. like no blood, no screaming, no anything. so i’m like. alright. idk what to do. she wouldn’t even speak to me or appreciate the fact that i showed up. my boyfriend ended up swaying me that she wasn’t worth me being friends with and now, five years later dealing with bpd hardcore i’m realizing that that was wrong of me to leave her like that. i realize that. but i also realize that sometimes you have to do what’s best for yourself and she wasn’t good for me. i couldn’t trust her and who wants to have a friend they can’t trust? everything was always about her and she always chose boys over me. and i still thought she told me my boyfriend was flirting with her just to make me upset. add in the fact that she sent her sex buddy some kind of naked video and told him he could show my boyfriend, it just ended up being a mess. so my boyfriend and i broke up and a couple months later i hang out with her again and she tells me SHE SLEPT WITH JOE. and i’m like lmfao that’s wild ok and i’m not mad about it but later i realize wow that’s kinda shitty ok because she always told me she never cared about joe but it was OBVIOUS that i did. but none of my business i guess, ya know, like i guess i don’t have a reason to be mad. even though i kinda do idk whatever. i had a falling out with her again and i don’t even remember why but i don’t think it was bitter.

so i ended up DATING joe again cause i’m a fuckin idiot but HE’S MY FIRST LOVE~~ I LOOVEEE HIM~~ i’m dumb. v dumb. anyways i date him for a good two years and then he ends up cheating on me 3 times with his best friend’s sister and she TELLS ME and i’m like no way you’re a liar and i knock tequila out of her hand all over the floor and my boyfriend is legit CRYING and i’m like fuck her and the next morning, i clean it up because i feel so bad and her brother lets me do it as if i was acting crazy and it’s because HE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME IT WAS TRUE!! and anyways that was fucking wild but i push it to the back of my mind and continue to date him for six months later until he cheats on me AGAIN and then breaks up with me because he “needs space” and “is so stressed out” and literally bitches at me for telling him i can’t be here for him right now because my friend’s grandfather just died and i have to be there for her, like basically uses that as an excuse to break up with me because “i don’t care about his problems” and “he needs to be alone to figure it out” and wowee the whole deal was wild, i felt like i was in a movie!! because i found out he was dating someone else like two days later! like? i’m getting soooo pissed right now just thinking about it and yet this is still the guy i’m hooking up with and loving to this day!! I’M STUPID!! anyways

i end up at michelle’s house (my friend not-friend whatever she is who dated joe after me when i was 16) like six months after this happens because a couple of my friends are friends with her still and i thought it’d be awkward but it actually wasn’t like i told her the stuff my ex did and wow writing this i’m realizing the only shit we had in common was my ex!! like lmao i just liked shit-talking my ex with her! so we become friends again but not really friends like i’d see her/hang out with her once in a while. this was a year and a half ago. so everything was fine between us like we were cool but i knew for certain that i wasn’t going to get close to her again and i thought i had a good reason for it. didn’t i? or am i just overreacting? like sometimes when you have history like that with people you can never get that trust back in a friendship and like.. is it wrong for me to not trust her..? or? idk i always had this super paranoid feeling in the back of my head that she was going to hook up with joe again and then she told me that she hung out with him and he “was trying to hook up with her” and i asked joe about it and he’s like haha! that’s funny!! because i thought SHE WAS TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH ME!! so i’m like omfg this is so much fucking drama man what is going on

so fast forward to this new year’s. i end up hanging out with a few of my friends and michelle. everything is cool until we get back to one of my friend’s houses and michelle starts yelling at me about joe. like straight-up. first she’s telling me i deserve better and stuff. and i’m confused because like yeah i’m on and off hooking up with joe but 1. we’re not getting back together and 2. how do you know that? then she goes as far as to be like “JOE WILL NEVER CHOOSE YOU. HE WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE ME OVER YOU.” so i’m drunk and i run out of the room crying because wow that was so mean? and i’m sorry but joe will never choose you over me lmfao like i know he did when i was 16 but you were just a fuckbuddy. like i’m sorry. but joe and i have YEARS of history together. so whatever that was just a really mean thing to say and it confirmed to me that she thinks every boy is obsessed with her and is constantly trying to get in the way of my relationships. so the next day she texts me and apologizes and i forgive her immediately because i’m like okay yeah i get it, she was trying to look out for me. but then i think about it later and i’m like wait… i’m actually mad. so i tweet: “Someone: *treats me badly* Me: *forgives them immediately* Me 2 weeks later, eyes snapping open at 3 am: you know what?? I’m mad at you.” and apparently she’s mad that i tweet that and idgaf if she knows it’s about her because i’m actually making fun of myself for being like this, not her.

so i see her in the bar again last weekend and i’m like to my friends, “DON’T LET US FIGHT.” and they’re like ok but whattaya know, we end up in a fight again. and she brings up THE BRAN (my other bf) SITUATION, basically claims it’s my fault she ended up in a psych ward because of it (uh, no, you were cutting yourself and stuff because of that boy you were having sex with, not because of me bye). so i apologize but apparently my apology wasn’t good enough like i was rolling my eyes or something which i don’t remember doing but I WAS DRUNK. and she doesn’t apologize AT ALL when i go “so you slept with joe to get back at me” - instead she’s like “YOU’RE MAD AT ME OVER OLD STUFF” and i’m like ?? i’m not mad at you over that stuff?? i just know i can’t trust you because of it. that’s different. and you’re the one bringing up old stuff?? like. then on top of that, i tell everyone i’m obsessed w one of my friend’s coworkers that is about to meet up with us and immediately after meeting him, she tells my friend she’s going to fuck him. so i’m like… SERIOUSLY? THIS GIRL IS AT IT AGAIN IS THIS FUCKING SERIOUS

so i tell joe. and he’s like dude you gotta call her out for that shit. so i’m like alright I WILL. so i text her. and she gets all defensive like i didn’t know you liked him and blah blah and again continues to tell me i have a secret hatred for her and that i’m so petty and ridiculous for not just bringing it to the surface. and i’m like wtf i don’t have a secret hatred for you (in my head i’m like: i just don’t trust you… and you’re rude as fuck to me when you’re drunk). then eventually she stops answering me and i’m left like… okay wow great cool, now i feel like shit because every time i stand up for myself i feel like shit!! because people always have a justification for everything they do and they come back at me with stuff i do and it’s just kinda like :) maybe i do deserve all of the ways they treat me :) but like… i didn’t deserve new years. and now i feel bad too because maybe i do have a “secret hatred” for her, like is that what she calls not trusting her? and i only threw the joe thing in her face because she threw the bran thing in my face? so? like? idk now i feel like i’m a horrible person and a liar because i told her i wasn’t mad and now, again, i’m left… mad. and i can’t say anything else because at the end of the day i don’t even want to speak to her anymore because we never see eye to eye and our best friend days have been over for four years now and i don’t need someone like her in my life. but it would be nice to go to the bar with my friends and see her and be civil with her. idk why she always gotta start a fight. now everything is awkward and this happened almost a week ago and i still think about it constantly and i don’t know what to do like should i apologize now i feel so bad and i hate when people don’t like me

[thatweirdmod]

Windowless Moviemaker Chapter 1: Routine

Author: I’m u/thatweirdmod from the explicitliterature subreddit.

STORY:

Windowless Moviemaker Chapter 1: Routine

TWO WEEKS AGO:

I hover behind a nude woman, her head and hands imprisoned inside a pillory. She groans as I stuff a vibrator into her vagina.

"Kidney, are you getting this?" I ask, my voice altered by the voice changing mask over my head.

"Sure thing," he responds with a low chuckle.

He’s standing next to me, naked and fully erect, and holding a video camera. He films me forcing my dick inside the woman’s asshole.

She screams. Must be feeling the skin tearing.

"Oh wow, that's so tight," I moan. I keep going, thrusting in and out as deep and fast as I can manage.

The sensations of the constricting, hot little hole on my dick, combined with the vibrations from the toy on the other side of the flesh wall are arousing beyond belief! I hear her sniffling and crying.

"Quick! Get her face." I tell Kidney, while continuing to anally rape the woman.

"Please, please stop," she begs. In response, I give her cheeks a hard smack and double my efforts of destroying her ass with my cock. "It hurts," she mewls, bursting out in tears.

"Ohhh, that's good. I'm gonna come soon," I grunt. "Shoot her from behind now," I say to Kidney. "Look, her pussy's soaking wet  from the vibrator, and her asshole is all bloody now." Kidney and I both chuckle in satisfaction.

"Damn, that so hot," he says, and zooms in on her privates while they're getting fucked. "I can't help myself," he says, overcome with lust.

Kidney sets the camera up on the tripod, walks to the front of the woman, and grabs a fistful of her hair. "Suck me," he orders, pushing his erection past her lips. "Suck it as far down your throat as it'll go."

She takes him into her mouth, doing her best to service him as her asshole and vagina are ravaged from behind.

"Yeah, there you go," Kidney groans. "Keep your mouth opened wide like that so you don't use your teeth."

He pushes her head further onto his stiff penis. She chokes a bit, but keeps on at the deeper level. "Now that's how a real woman gives head," he says, a smirk in his tone. "This is way better than a school girl."

I rip the vibrator out of the woman's cunt, flinging her juices in the process, then shove my dick inside. "Damn, what a horny bitch," I slap her ass, nice and hard. She cries out, causing her to choke on the dick in her mouth. "I'll cream you nice and good, don’t you worry."

Kidney lets out a high pitched grunt, as he jizzes all over the woman's face. I up my pace, jackhammering in and out of her vagina. On the final thrust, I push my penis in up to my balls release my seed deep inside her.

After Kidney and I have satisfied ourselves, we take the woman out of the pillory, shove her down to the ground, then high five each other.

“Alright!” Kidney says. “We got some great footage tonight.”

"Remember," I tell the woman, smirking under my mask. "We recorded everything on video. Unless you want your friends, family, boyfriend, coworkers, and everyone in between to see it, you'll keep quiet about today."

She nods, sitting limply on the ground with fear quivering in her puffy eyes.

"Just think," I continue for good measure, "Of how humiliating it would be if everyone saw this. You, bent in a pillory, completely exposed with your ass in the air. Pussy drooling all over a vibrator, tits hanging down like cow udders, as you're fucked and molested by two random guys.

That's all anyone would be able to see or think about when they saw you. They'd never forget.

Goodbye friend. Goodbye daughter. Goodbye diligent worker. Goodbye whatever you were before. You'd just be the one that got raped- the victim everyone has to tiptoe around.

I bet you can feel it already, the atmosphere turning heavy, the laughter dying, as soon as you enter the room." The woman stares down blankly as I go on. "Sure, everyone would feel bad for you, but no one would want you.

When you'd be with your man, you'd know what he'd be thinking- that his woman was tainted, covered and smothered by other men. You can feel it, can't you? His fingers holding back, never to truly to embrace you again."

I watch her eyes fill with water. "You're no better than a whore now." I tell her, savoring every word.

The tears stream silently down her face and splatter on the concrete floor of the underground bunker.

"But," Kidney adds in, "No one has to know how dirty and damaged you are. After we let you out, you'll be free. You can return to your life as normal, to the joy and acceptance of your friends and family. So..."

He pauses and tosses a water bottle and a bottle of pills over to her.

"Go ahead and take 2 of those. They'll ensure that you won't have to worry about any pregnancy, and the side effects aren't too bad."

She shakily reaches for them, sniffling.

"Just go about your business as usual," Kidney says to the woman as she swallows the pills. "That way, everything will be alright."

PRESENT:

"'Everything will be alright' huh?" I wonder to myself, as I lean back in my seat and sigh.

Kidney is sitting at desk next to mine. He brushes his sandy brown bangs back from his eyes, as he pretends to focuses intently on the school work before him.

I attempt to begin re-playing another night in my mind, but the teacher's rambling is getting on my nerves. I know it's his job, but I can't concentrate like this. It's so fucking hot too, I think, as I flap my white button up shirt to puff air over myself.

"Jeeto!" The teacher snaps. Finally got enough of my obvious inattention, eh?

"Perhaps you can give us the answer?" He says.

Damn, this is so cliche. I have no idea what he was talking about, besides the basic fact that it must have to do with geometry. There's a triangle on the chalkboard. The annoying, salt 'n pepper haired man in front of me crosses his arms, waiting.

"I... *huge yawn interrupts my sentence* I have no idea, man... sir."

Mr. Simon clicks his tongue, putting his hands on his hips like a sassy bitch.

"Well perhaps you can get an idea in detention, young man."

The students around the classroom chuckle and giggle.

I groan and rake a hand through my mid-length, brown hair. What a waste of my lifespan.

After school finally lets out, a familiar scenario plays out again. It's of me walking slowly, taking in nature under the orange hue of evening, with potato chips and diet soda on my mind. The convenience store close to my house is one of my favorite places in this little secluded town.

Outside, I see Kidney. He's leaning against the brick building eating an ice cream thing from the store. I go over to him.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey yourself," Kidney replies, with the corners of his mouth tugged upwards. "Have you seen the cutie who just moved here yet?"

"Which one?" I ask. "The way I heard it from those gossipy old nags, the new single dad's a pretty fine piece."

"Maybe so. That just explains where she got it from," Kidney says, grinning fiendishly at the thought of the girl as he licks his ice cream.

"You gonna scare 'em off already? They're probably not even done unpacking," I say.

"Hmm, I think I'm gonna do this the nice way," Kidney answers, a plan gleaming in his eye.

He tosses his ice cream stick on the ground, even though there's a bin a few steps away. "You win 2 tickets to Rocket Roller theme park if you're lucky enough to pick the right Creamtastical Pop," he says.

I laugh. "Don't tell me that's actually got you buying 'em everyday."

"Whatever, man."

"You're just part of the 999,999 that beefs up their sales while they give a sliver of that beef to the 1 in 1,000,000 that wins their shitty prize. A literal sucker, 'cause it's ice cream on a stick."

"But," Kidney says as we walk into the store, "I can't help loving consumerist culture. Indulgence is in the air. Besides, Creamtastical Pops really are the bomb."

"Welcome!" The old woman at the counter says. "If it's not our most frequent customers."

I smile back at her and say, "Hey, Roodle."

Yeah, that's her name- Roodle. She's the manager of this permanently under-staffed store. She's here 6 days every week, in a green polo shirt with her gray hair pulled back into a pony tail, running the register and almost every damn thing in between.

Somehow, I imagine myself in her shoes when I'm that age, and I don't have any problem with it.

Even though it's just a convenience store job, I'd say she busts her ass, so I never sneak too much into the pockets of my dress pants when she dashes into the backroom or down an aisle. You could say I've got boundaries with Roodle.

Kidney's over at the freezers, and I see him slip a Creamtastical Pop into his pocket. But he grabs a 2nd one and holds it openly to purchase.

While I peruse the chips selection, he walks behind the counter. He opens the glass door of the cigarette cabinet, takes a carton like it's totally natural, and walks back out, just before Roodle reappears.

I glance between them, a little nervous. I don't want it to get awkward when I come here because my friend got caught stealing, you know? Roodle didn't notice shit, though.

Fucking hell. If I succeed her, I'm gonna install cameras for sure. Corporate would hear a case and a half from me if they protested.

I'm thinking we've mulled around long enough, so I force myself to decide on two bags of chips and go up to pay.

Kidney and I walk together down the sidewalk, as the nostalgic orange glow around us hints at cooling into night. I glance to my left, taking small satisfaction in how the trajectory of my gaze to Kidney's face is at a slight downward angle.

He's double fisting his ice cream bars, biting one then the other. He hums a happy laugh. "The vanilla one is the one I paid for, the angel. And the chocolate one is the devil one, the one I stole."

I watch him devour the two masses of sugar and fat. The Creamtastical Bar is a dessert more multi-faceted than most people. It's an ice cream sandwich coated in fudge, then smothered in whipped cream, then coated in a chocolate, vanilla, or fruit flavored shell, sometimes with a chopped nut finish.

If just one kind wasn't enough to satisfy their loyal customers, the company has made dozens of variations and limited editions. You'd gain a 100 kilos just by trying each of them.

"By the way, when did you start smoking?" I ask Kidney.

"Huh? Never had," he replies. "I just thought I'd try some cigarettes today. I've been pretty stressed out lately. Maybe a nice drag and a hit of nicotine will hit the spot."

"Nicotine's lame," I say. "If you're gonna smoke something, at least go for weed. I hear it comes with less cancer too."

"Well, cigs come with less cops."

"Not necessarily if you steal them."

"Oh please, Jeeto," Kidney says, smiling. "Good ol' Roodle wouldn't call the cops, even if she did catch me. She's a total push-over. A decent apology is all I'd need."

We walk up the incline that goes past the playground. I observe at the worn down swings and other sad looking equipment. Kidney and I used to hang out here a lot as kids.

The place isn't as fun now that the slide is too short to have a real slide down, and the fall from the monkey bars is too low to fear. Though, we still come back to the swings sometimes.

The swings...

I notice a girl sitting on one alone. "Hey, that's her," Kidney whispers, looking past me.

Speak of the devil, we were just going up to her house so I could get my first look around.

"Who's 'her' anyway?" I ask. "You never told me her name."

"Oh yeah. It's Rilla."

I examine her from where I stand, but a ray of sunlight is blocking some important parts of her from view. Thinking, what the hell, I walk off the sidewalk and start across the grass over to her.

Her head is low, auburn bangs hanging over her forehead. She's in thought, maybe, before she notices me and looks up. My heart doesn't skip a beat or anything, but I'm not unhappy.

"Hi," I say cordially.

She stands, giving me a better look at her legs. She's a little short, but they're nicely proportioned. She's in a skirt that stops teasingly just above her knees.

I'm careful to smile with warmth and not pleasure. "My name's Jeeto. I heard you moved into the neighborhood a few days ago."

"That's right," she says, like the kind of person who has to work past their shyness a little for every word. "I'm Rilla... Rilla Arocci."

"Welcome to Grishee Town, Rilla. It's really nice to meet you."

She returns my smile reservedly. "You too, Jeeto."

"I'm from the Fuma household, which I believe is a straight shot down the street from you," I say. "If you ever need anything, I'll be happy help, alright?"

Rilla nods and says, "Thank you."

"Well, I've gotta go now. See you around."

She says goodbye and we wave to each other as I walk off the playground. Instead of continuing up the slope to her house, I turn back to head home. Just as I start to wonder where Kidney went, I see him hiding behind a tree, with two unmarked ice cream sticks at his feet.

"Playing the voyeur on her's one thing," I say to him. "But I was back there too."

"Very funny," he grumbles. "I told you, not so much as a half hour ago, that I was gonna get Rilla. Where do you get off jumping the gun on me?"

I shrug. "I only introduced myself. You could've come and said hi too."

"Dumbass. One guy is bad enough. Two guys approaching a lone girl is only sure to scare her. Women are pretty fragile, and wary like rabbits, you know. It's a pain, but it's true."

"Rabbits are like that because they know there are foxes in the world. Women know that there are men like us."

"So now it's our fault?" Kidney challenges. "We're not out to kill them like foxes, unless they take it to that level themselves. If they'd just give it up, neither party would have these problems."

“But we don’t really want them to just give it up, do we?” I counter.

“Well, half my point still stands,” Kidney insists.

I just shrug again. "Wanna play some Mortal Kombat at my place?"

"Sure, even if we do already know how it's gonna turn out," Kidney says, now smirking. "Kidney wins! Flawless victory. Fatalityyyyy!"

"If you were a Mortal Kombat character," I begin, "What'd your finisher be anyway?"

"I dunno. It'd have to be something where I tore out their kidneys with my bare hands."

By the time darkness has fallen outside my bedroom window, I've thoroughly gotten my ass beat via console.

My knuckles redden as I squeeze my controller in rage- the diet form of hurling the piece of shit at the wall. Kidney can't stop laughing, which is what's really pissing me off.

"Fuck it," I say. "I'm gonna go get something to eat." I leave my bedroom, slamming the door behind myself.

Soon, I'm listening dully to the sounds of the humming microwave, crickets chirping loudly outside, and grease popping on my buffet takeout. I go back upstairs with my food, and find Kidney scrutinizing my shelf.

"You really oughta hide those DVDs we made better," he whispers to me. "You can't just leave them here with all your normal stuff."

"Why not?" I say lackadaisically. "Unmarked, empty looking discs aren't particularly interesting when they're next to a bunch of movies, TV shows, and porn."

Kidney just frowns. "The whole, 'hidden in plain sight' thing is bound to backfire eventually. You live with your mom and kid sister for fuck's sake, and they don't exactly respect your privacy.

Say one of them gets bored, and decides to kill time by having a look through your stuff. After getting through everything else, they might wanna check if there's anything on those unmarked DVDs.

Hell, what if one of them was even looking for an empty DVD to rip stuff onto. They see those, think there's probably nothing on 'em, and that you won't mind if they take one. It'd all be over then."

"Alright, alright," I groan. "I'll put 'em somewhere else. But where?"

"Inside your mattress would be good. You make a hole in it, put the DVDs in the hole, and sew it back as it was. I bet not even cops would find them there."

"The hell?" I question. "Am I supposed to dig them out and put them back like that every time I wanna watch them?"

"No. You burn them onto your computer, and store the videos in an encrypted, hidden folder.

The DVDs are only supposed to be backup storage, in case you have to delete the stuff off the computer, or its hard drive gets corrupted. Things like that."

"All of this sounds like a huge pain," I say as I stuff my face.

"Come on, it's easy," Kidney assures me.

"If it's so easy, then you can do it yourself," I tell him, and plop down onto my twin sized bed. "My computer's password is 'jeetocheeto69365'."

"Isn't that your username on Runescape? You really are careless," Kidney sighs, and logs on.

By the time I finish my dinner, Kidney is still ripping the DVDs onto the computer. I decide to kill time by getting some preparations together.

"We're going to need more animal tranquilizer after this one," I tell him, as I draw the last bit of liquid from a glass bottle into a small syringe. It's your turn to buy it, so order some online soon, alright?"

"Fine," Kidney agrees.

"And hurry up and get done with that already," I say. "I wanna get going to Mrs. Horatay's house soon."

"Why so impatient?" Kidney asks. "We still have several hours of night left before even the earliest risers start getting up. It's actually still a little early."

"Do you even have to ask why I'm impatient?" I ask as I pack rope into a black backpack. "You've seen her too, after all."

Kidney grins. "If I was her husband, I'd hate to have to leave that rack for a boring business trip, on the week of our anniversary, no less. I'll be sure to give her a good titty fucking in his absence."

I laugh. "It's funny how we've never even spoken to the Horatays, but we know all this shit about them. Gossiping housewives are truly a force to be feared. If I ever get married, it'll be to a quiet woman."

Kidney lets out a scoff. "A ring around the finger is like a collar around the neck. I look at it as a symbol of bondage.

We do most things with our hands and fingers, so rings are placed around them to show that everything you do after marriage is under your spouse's control."

"Are you sure you're not just saying that because your dad's a pussy whipped loser?"

"Tsk," Kidney grumbles, as he removes the final DVD from the tray. "Flip your mattress over, will you. It's time to put these away."

I do as he asks, then watch him go to work on hiding the DVDs.

"You're a pretty good seamstress," I remark. "You'll have to give me an embroidery lesson sometime."

"Say what you want, sewing is a useful practical skill, same as cooking. I won't be dependent on some bitch to take care of me," Kidney says.

"Yeah," I agree. "I'm gonna have to know how to close the mattress on my own after we make new movies anyway."

There's a pause before I ask, "How's Krin doing?"

He bristles. "Why should you care about my little sister?"

I sigh, "What's the problem? You're always complaining about how annoying she is. She's a lot like mine." I grin, then say, "I'd be fine with you fucking Sota, you know."

I notice Kidney swallow, then I laugh.

"I know you want to, man. It's totally obvious."

He has no counter to this.

"How about we strike a deal? I'll slip some roofies to Sota, if you do the same with Krin."

"Krin's not annoying all the time," Kidney says softly. "I've talked about how she badgers me into doing homework and chores and takes my stuff without asking. But, I guess I've never mentioned how it really is between us."

I listen with an eyebrow raised.

"In the town we lived in before, our old man had a pretty nasty fall from grace. The folk there were cliquish to begin with, big families rooted in years of tradition.

So, that incident only ensured that we were completely rejected- all of us Bellourds. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," they'd say, so the adults didn't want their kids around me or Krin.

Nobody really spoke to us. Even if they didn't understand why, we were just rotten apples to be avoided. Even so, we weren't lonely.

We were able to stay together a lot, because we're only a year apart. Things were nice with just the two of us." Kidney smiles in recollection.

"We played around all time back then: hide and seek in the woods, role playing, a lot made up games too... One day, we decided to play doctor in Krin's room.

I can't remember whose idea it was, but I remember that after she checked my breathing, if behind my ears were clean, and everything else, I ended up lying on the pale gray carpet for a "down there checkup."

After my checkup was over, it was my turn to be the doctor, and do the whole routine on her.

After that time, we'd play doctor every few days. And after a while, the patient started to always end up saying, 'Hurry up and get to the down there checkup.' That eventually became all the doctor game was about.

We didn't know much, except that it felt good, and that we didn't wanna get caught doing the down there checkups.

Over time though, we stopped bothering to call them checkups, or asking, 'Wanna play doctor?' We'd just go into a bedroom, close the door behind ourselves, and touch each other.

We didn't stop, even after our family finally got enough money to move here, and we both made other friends. And one time back in junior high, our parents went on vacation.

We had a long day of doing whatever we wanted around the house, got tired, crashed on the couch, and turned the TV on to some lame channel.

I got hard, which wasn't unusual when we were alone, but this time we both felt it was different.

Now, we had all the time in world to go as far as we wanted. That day, when we lost our virginities together, is the most cherished memory I have.

It was amazing, almost heavenly. I'd never felt that close to anyone before. I felt so warm and complete- so happy and at home.

Even now, the honest moments between me and Krin are the most precious things to me. I'm not ready to accept any other man into the picture, Jeeto."

I sigh, "But any other woman is fine?"

"What I do with those other women isn't like what me and Krin have together. They're nothing," Kidney says.

"Krin would be nothing to me, and as for her, she wouldn't even know who it was. That's hardly getting into your precious picture, then, is it?"

"But Krin is something!" Kidney says emphatically. He then reins himself in. "I just don't want anyone doing her that way. End of discussion. I'm going back to my place to change and pick up my bag."

"Alright," I say lazily. "But you know, for someone who I thought hated women, you've got an annoying soft spot for one."

"Meet you at Mrs. Horatay's house," he says.

I watch his back with narrowed eyes as he leaves, wondering if Krin's little pussy would feel as "heavenly" for me if I forced her down on her knees and fucked her.

If and when that happens, I'll let her know that she has her brother to blame the most.

I might have let this go if Kidney didn't make such a big deal about it. But he just made her forbidden fruit, and a woman should understand, how a forbidden fruit is more enticing than all the others in the garden.