#and now all i see is him and jumin in my postcanon

[tom-failure]

...

[gh0stpkmn]

pbbt i need somewhere to put my saeran headcanons. so? here?? i’m still paranoid abt how read-mores work on mobile. oh and spoilers warning obv.

 like i said in my,, yyyyooran post... saeran probably eats sweets unconciously a lot of the time while he’s doing things like watching shows or reading or w/e. sometimes he eats so much that he feels sick. dummy.

personality-wise... very withdrawn and quiet for a quite a while when he first starts recovering! at least around most of the rfa. saeyoung sees his snarky side pretty quick but it’s a surprise to the other rfa members when he starts getting more comfortable because eventually he doesnt stop himself from being snarky and sarcastic. he even starts poking fun at people other than saeyoung (probably zen because he’s so dramatic. or jumin because.....how can u not poke fun at jumin han)

everyone is surprised the first couple times it happens because  they thought he was this Sweet Soft boy but no. he’s sassy as Fuck (within reason of course)

appearance-wise... even tho i Love edgy saeran w all my heart and Want it to be canon so bad........ going by the secret endings i... cant help but imagine he doesnt wear a lot of chokers or paint his nails much, if at all, after his hair goes back to red???

 i imagine it was a struggle to convince him to dye hair back to normal at first bc he was very Abrasive and defensive and for a long time he didn’t want to let go of the persona he built for himself???

which makes sense because, like, if you built up a whole personality for yourself out of spite and anger (while also under the influence of a FUCKTON of drugs and brainwashing) and suddenly that spite and anger is subsiding,,,, that would be pretty fucking confusing

but once he’s dedicated to recovering and getting better he p much drops all the Edgy stuff in relation to his appearance. 

(he STILL... wears a lil bit of eye makeup tho? but its very simple and “”””natural”””” looking u kno like... usin brown eyeshadow as eyeliner.. maybe some mascara... v simple n natural n cute.. ........ bc its calming for him to apply it. and it helps his eyes/the green contacts stand out more so its easier to tell him apart from saeyoung)

and... idk i imagine he still kinda genuinely likes that edgy fashion style a bit??? but. i feel like the white hair and leather and spikes was more for shock value and trying to be as different from saeyoung as possible, more than anything... if that makes sense? yeah.

so. what DOES he wear? imo he is a Cozy Boy ok. tbh i dont rlly like his sweater postcanon but i imagine he wears stuff like that pretty often buT.... to be more self indulgent i like to imagine more lik e…. cozy, somewhat baggy knit sweaters n jeans. comfort is key w his wardrobe. pull-overs... sometimes he’ll wear t-shirts w/ cardigans. sometimes hoodies. overall v soft cozy boy, always snug as a bug….. but yes. 

knit sweaters in earthy tones. w/ jeans. ye.

messy hair too??? the messy hair + comfy clothes always make him look cute n sleepy. 

also!!! ok. again, when he’s still very insecure, i feel like for a long time he would only wear clothes with long sleeves? clothes that cover as much as possible... bc of his tattoo and all the scars he probably has (some of them old, some of them recent.) and also bc he’s probably a little insecure abt being so thin and sickly?? idk

and?? idk maybe i’m projecting but i feel like big baggy, comfy clothes would be kind of an emotional safety blanket for him, if that makes sense? they’re cozy and big and he can hide in them. so?? yeah. hes comfortable in sweaters. for a long time he’s very opposed to Not wearing smth comfortable and somewhat baggy that covers as much of his body as possible.

like, it’ll be a billion fuckin degrees outside bc its summer, and this poor boy refuses to take his sweater off. everyone tries SO hard to get him to wear smth less hot, but nope. he doesn’t care if hes melting. “That’s what ice cream is for.”

BUT i feel like he gets more comfortable rolling up his sleeves or even wearing t-shirts eventually ?? like once he hits a certain point, he stops giving a fuck and isn’t insecure about scars and stuff at all. 

he.... becomes very blunt abt his recovery, instead of being so nervous and withdrawn? at least w the rfa… 

like. one of them sees scars / marks from past injuries and ask him about it and he just. looks at what they’re referring to for a second and then just replies deadpan 

“oh, yeah. that’s from a time when someone at mint eye beat me up.” or “hmm… this? i’ve had it since i was 8, i think. mom did that.”  

just?? very. casual about it. and it’s not like he’s totally over those things, but he’s comfortable enough now that they’re not a big deal? idk he doesn’t rlly consider that it might make other people uncomfortable, because he’s not uncomfortable

blunt to a fault sometimes, tbh. and it catches ppl off guard sometimes.

idk and like... in fics and imagines and headcanons... i often see people portray him as very confident (and forward, flirty in shippy scenarios) or just. super shy and withdrawn. or grumpy and “””””””””””tsundere”””””””””””””(ugh)

i kinda see him as a mix of all of those,, tho, less forward and flirty lol. idk just

very shy, kinda quiet, grumpy and done w/ his brothers shit all the time.... but also there’s sometimes flashes of confidence as he gets better and more comfortable? like he can joke around with people. 

he’s not as boisterous as saeyoung or yoosung or even zen really, but not as dry as jumin??? idk. i picture him as a very chill presence when he’s in a good mood, but he still has this witty edge? IDK HOW to describe it.

and ofc he has his bad moments when he’s very withdrawn and insecure and cagey but i feel like, on his good days, he’s a rlly chill guy, if not a bit quiet.

this boy also has a potty mouth. and he doesn’t curse to be tough or edgy or anything, but he’s just used to speaking like that i guess so.. he definitely embarrasses jaehee or mc at an rfa event... or in front of kids. bc he doesn’t have a filter when it comes to Bad Words. they just shush him like “Saeran!!!!! Language!!!!!” and he doesnt realize what he’s doing wrong

i’ll probably add more to this post but i just. needed to document these and i didn’t wanna lose them in my drafts lol