#and nori having to chase him down to tell him that no that’s not the whole story

[galpalaven]

can’t stop thinking about the JR route in the Fernweh Saga and how if you pick that your OC and J were each other’s first kiss that R just seems so utterly dejected and convinced that the two of you are probably just going to get together and leave them behind

Like Reese. Baby. Nori and James are in love with each other but they’re both also crazy about you. You are not going to be left behind they are going to take you with them and make you a matching necklace and all that mushy stuff because it doesn’t feel quite Right when you aren’t there too

Reese Verner going from having to beg for his mother’s attention to having the attention of his two favorite people in the world like “am I being punked” and the answer is No you are just wonderful and we love you

[i-cant-sing]

IMAGINE THE KAMO CLAN WANTS AN ALLIANCE WITH THE ZENIN

so they offer that noritoshi (who is secretly in love with teen!fushiguro reader) marry her, the zenin and the kamo have made this type of alliance for years, it is totally normal for them

but definitely the kamo did not wait for naoya to come to his house shouting that no kamo spawn is going to sully his sweet daughter---- NIECE

when the others hear the news, toji, gojo, nanami, megumi, mai and maki arrive, ALSO SUKUNA WHO TOOK POSSESSION OF YUJI'S BODY

poor noritoshi

AHahaha yesss, I mean the elders just wanted to form an alliance, and neither clan really knew just how strong Fushiguro reader was as a toddler, so it was right to arrange a marriage for you.

As a child, Noritoshi didnt really care much for you, especially since he had battles of his own- being born to a mistress, being the heir of the clan because the head wife couldnt bear sons so, he has to deal with that.

But youre adorable and you grow on anyone, even the Zenin clan, so when toddler Fushiguro reader meets 9 year old Noritoshi, the latter only thinks of you as a spoiled brat at first. And why wouldnt he? Youre running around barefoot in the garden, dressed in sparkly pink hello kitty pjs with servants chasing after you, with Naoya screaming from the shed that he'll lock you up if he catches you grabbing his million dollar koi fish.

Noritoshi's disgust is quite understandable when you come upto him, hair disheveled, face sweaty, and you stick your muddy hand to his face.

"Hi! Im Y/n Fushiguro!" "ZENIN! Y/N ZENIN!" Naoya yells before dragging you away for training (Naoya didnt want you to meet your future husband).

As time goes on, Noritoshi would be sent to the Zenin estate on different errands (by this point, the Kamo clan has heard rumors of your powers and now want Noritoshi to go and woo you, which is a huge task since Noritoshi isnt someone who is able to express emotions, much less romantic ones). But even though he might not be able to express his emotions, doesnt mean his heart hasnt turned soft for you. Youre pollar opposite to him, loud, energetic, carefree- and yet Noritoshi cant help but feel that you... sort of complete him. Youre everything hes not and he likes that. Like 2 puzzle pieces that fit together, he completes you too. Hes quiet, calm, realistic- he brings peace to you, especially when youre mind gets overstimulated by- well, you.

How many times has it been that Noritoshi has stopped your panic attacks when you realised that your father Toji, wasnt coming back? How many times has Noristoshi had to pull you into his robes when your cursed energy started to lose control, risking himself just to calm you down and help you control it as his soft monotonous voice guided you through it?

And how many times has it been that Noritoshi would have his terrible day turned around with just you calling him "Nori!"? Or the times he'd be questioning his worth in the clan and all he needed was you to lean your head against his shoulder to feel like a million bucks? Noritoshi would be the type of man who people would think doesnt really care about love and marriage, when in reality, he just spent the entire night listening to you yap about your day, about Hello Kitty, about uncle Naoya, pausing in between to say "hmm, okay its getting late, we should sleep" only to suddenly remember a new topic to ramble on about. And youd think Noritoshi wanst listenting to you with the way hes staring at your face in awe, but really- he remembers every single word. You could quiz him. Its funny listening to man like him talk about Hello Kitty.

When the time comes for you two to actually get married, Naoya throws a fit, and surprisingly, the Zenin clan also doesnt want to marry you off to Kamo clan (or anyone). People opposing the marriage from your side would be the Zenin clan, the twins (who start telling you all the reasons why marriage is a trap and youd be dead in 2 days.), Gojo (he just chuckles and tells you not to worry because he wont let you be forced into marriage), Nanami (my man wholeheartedly believes youre being a victim of child marriage, BUT NOT ON HIS WATCH! GONNA KILL ANYONE WHO EVEN THINKS OF U LIKE THAT- just sit in his condo and eat the sandwhich he made for you. And dont argue.), Megumi (who doenst get why he wasnt ever informed that you, his baby sister, was in an arranged marriage, and why the hell didnt Noritoshi try to get his blessings/permission considering THAT HES YOUR CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBER??? Also, no- youre not marrying Kamo) and then... theres Sukuna (if you thought Naoya threw a fit, youre in for A WORLD OF TANTRUMS AS SUKUNA SCREAMS AND MOST LIKELY KILLS WHOEVER IS IN A MILE VICINITY, just to let off some steam and calm down before he talks to you and REMINDS YOU THAT YOU PROMISED TO MARRY HIM! HAVE YOU BEEN PROPOSING TO EVERY GUY YOU MET?)

People supporting this union would be all from Noritishi's side, including- the Kamo clan, Choso Kamo (cause ofc, youre just a precious baby like Yuji, and with you being part of the clan means he can protect u better), and surprise surprise Kenjaku (because youd be strong addition to the clan and then you and Nori will have babies with SUPER STRONG CURSED ENERGY AND HE'LL ACCOMPLISH HIS PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION).

Anyways, its a sticky situation and it all comes down to you really. Do you want to marry Noritoshi or not?

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Day 6- Redemption Winner

We're almost to the end! I've had so much fun with this fic so far, and I'm really excited to get started with it. This was another one that I was surprised to have seen one, but that's the fun with polls! I hope you guys like the little snapshot I wrote into this world.

Chasing Dragons and Bedding Burglars

Rating: T

Warning(s): Dead Minor Character

Ship: Bagginshield

Summary: When Thorin Oakenshield transferred to Ered Luin PD, there was really only one thing on his mind: finally catch the monster that destroyed his family. However, he quickly learns Ered Luin lives under the rule of the local mafia and figures the only way to catch Smaug is to pretend to be a dirty cop and make nice with the supposed crime boss known only as “The Burglar”.

Thorin never noticed how horrendous the color of the ceiling tiles in the building were before today. Not even a true eggshell, but some awful hybrid of white and cream that was emphasized by the yellow and brown water stains that scattered the ceiling like the ugliest constellations to ever exist. Leaned back in his desk chair gently rotating himself back and forth, he found himself wishing for something, anything to take his attention away.

“You’re the one who put in the transfer, I’ll remind you. I just followed your ass to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid.”

Thorin turned his head just slightly to glare over at Dwalin who had his feet up on the desk, phone in front of his face as he wasted time with a mindless game. Thorin went back to his water stains, too depressed even to sigh. He had been in Ered Luin for three weeks now. He thought this was going to be his break. He thought between the sheer amount of organized crime in this backwater city, he would be able to avenge his father and grandfather more than he ever could working in Dale. However, the mafias had too strong a hold on the city. Nothing ever was brought to them, because the mafias took care of it first. If he was going to find his dragon to slay, he was going to have to get on the inside and make nice with one of these organizations. A fact that went against every fiber of his being of what it means to be a cop.

“Oakenshield! Fundinson! We’ve got an assignment for you.”

Thorin sat up so fast his neck popped. He reached up to massage it as Nori stood smirking from where he was leaning his hip against Thorin’s desk. 

“Yeah, what is it this time?” Dwalin grunted, glaring at the other cop. “Coffee run?”

Nori’s grin widened as he enjoyed nothing more than sending them out on meaningless tasks. Thorin knew it was just because they were the new kids in town. Dwalin had taken much more offense to it, but it might just be because it was Nori. He had admitted to Thorin more than once now that he didn’t trust the ginger at all.

“Suicide.” Nori chirped. “Just got a call about it. Down at Bag End.”

“Bag End?” Thorin repeated, quickly becoming more interested. “Isn’t that one of the biggest hotels in the city?”

Nori nodded. “Not only that, but Bilbo Baggins, who owns the place, is one of the richest men in Ered Luin. Has his hand in a lot of different pots, not just the hotel industry. Rumor on the street is that he’s The Burglar, but I wouldn’t say that to his face. So you two mind your p’s and q’s while you’re out and about.”

This was it. This was exactly the break Thorin had been looking for. Even if the case was pretty open and shut, just getting a chance to speak to Mr. Baggins might help him find his dragon. He turned to Dwalin, trying to assess what his partner thought about it. Dwalin glared back before rolling his eyes. 

“Fine. Like your eyes could get any bigger. We’ll look into it.”

“Great!” Nori declared. “I’ll call the hotel back and tell them that you’re coming.”

He started to walk away and Thorin wasted no time in pulling on his black leather jacket with the fur trim. A gift from his sister before he left.

“Please don’t get your hopes up.” Dwalin complained. “If this guy really is a crime boss, he’s not going to just come right out and talk to you.”

“Maybe he will be grateful after cleaning up a dead guy from his lobby.”

Dwalin snorted. “He’s going to be annoyed that he had to wait for our okay for that to happen.”

“Be negative if you would like, but I think this is the break we’ve been looking for.”

Dwalin merely rolled his eyes as he followed Thorin out to the car. They plugged Bag End into the GPS, and flew off down the road towards the hotel. 

It was in the swankier part of town. A borough known as the Shire. Where the streets were clean, the gardens were lush, and the buildings were brightly colored. Bag End rose like a beacon from the center, a tall highrise with a rounded green entryway at the front of the building. The inside was even more ridiculous. It was like they had stepped into a cosy cabin. Everything was covered in wooden panels and beams, the lights were low and warm. The lobby was large with several hallways veering off to different shops and attractions nearly overwhelming Thorin until a concierge approached.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. Do you have a reservation?”

They both pulled out their badges.

“Detectives Thorin Oakenshield and Dwalin Fundinson.” Thorin introduced. “We’re here to see the body.”

The girl paled at the mention of the dead coworker, but wasted little time in pointing them in the right direction with a promise to inform Mr. Baggins of their arrival. Thorin and Dwalin took off down the hallway, past the restaurant, into an alcove that was roped off with a body covered by a sheet in the center. The forensics team was already there, taking pictures and samples, but they stepped aside to let them run their investigation.

Broken glass lay around the body, and when Thorin looked up, he could see the eighth floor window the guy must have jumped from. Thorin peeled back the sheet, trying not to grimace at the blood and brain matter staining the hardwood floors.

“Well…I think we can safely assume the cause of death.” Dwalin grunted.

Thorin nodded as he crouched beside the body, searching for anything that shouldn’t be there. It seemed like a pretty cut and dry suicide until something in his fist caught Thorin’s attention. 

“Do you have a pen on you?” Thorin asked Dwalin.

“No, but I can go up to the front desk and get one.” He offered.

Before Thorin could say one way or another, they were interrupted by another voice.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen.”

Thorin spun around, completely caught off-guard by the men approaching him. One of them stood tall and stout. Built like a bodyguard, but easily twenty to thirty years older than Thorin himself. The second man was hunched, greasy looking with unnaturally big eyes that looked around nervously. However, it was the man in between that had spoken to them. He was the shortest of the three, but his presence demanded attention. His suit was neatly pressed and immaculate, his curls gently framing his soft, bare face, and his eyes lacking any outward emotion. Somehow Mr. Baggins was both exactly what Thorin expected from a mafia boss and yet not at all. 

“I’m Mr. Baggins, it’s a pleasure to meet you…”

“Thorin Oakenshield.” Thorin introduced, shaking his hand.

“Mr. Oakenshield.” Mr. Baggins nodded.

“Fundinson.” Dwalin grunted.

“Mr. Fundinson.” Mr. Baggins stated again. “I’ve done what I can to keep guests out of the area, but I trust we can have the medics clear the body out of here? Doesn’t leave a very inviting image, I’m afraid.”

“The man worked for you.” Dwalin scoffed. “You could at least pretend to be sympathetic.”

“And I am.” Mr. Baggins answered even as he checked his phone. “If he had any family, I would be sending flowers to them right now. I’ve also hired a grief counselor on site for any staff directly affected by his death. But if you feel I am lacking in my duties somewhere, please feel free to elaborate, Mr. Fundinson.”

“You said if he had any family?” Thorin stepped in before Dwalin could snark back.

“That’s right.” Mr. Baggins nodded. “Ferumbas had always been a bit of a loner at work. No close friends or acquaintances, and peeking into his file this morning he doesn’t even seem to have anyone listed as an emergency contact. I figured that meant no family to speak of.”

“So that means, there was no one there with him this morning?”

Mr. Baggins almost seemed to sigh as he gave Thorin a condescending look. “No. Not that the security cameras can pick up. Mr. Oakenshield, I know you are just trying to do your job, especially considering you are new to the force, but we both know this is a suicide. Can we just be done with this part of the investigation?”

Thorin tried not to act surprised that Baggins knew that much about him as he tightened his fists at his side.

“I wish we could, but I’m not so certain it is a suicide.”

Baggins glared at him. “You’re not? Are you that desperate for your delusions of grandeur?” 

“Do you have a pen on you, Mr. Baggins?” Thorin asked as sweetly as he could.

Baggins narrowed his eyes, cocking a brow at the seemingly change of subject before snapping his fingers. The shifty man behind him immediately produced a pen in Baggins’ outstretched hand which he handed over to Thorin. Thorin thanked him for it as he turned his back on Baggins to crouch down beside the body.

“And what exactly are you looking for?” Baggins asked as he bent over Thorin’s shoulder.

“Not looking for.” Thorin stated as he used the pen to open up Ferumbas’ hand. “Found.”

A torn piece of fabric lay in the dead man’s hand matching the uniform he was wearing.

“Seeing as there is no tear on him, he would have had to rip this off of someone else. But that would imply there was someone else in the room with him. If there was someone in the room with him, why did that person go through the trouble of making himself invisible to your cameras?”

Thorin raised an eyebrow back at Baggins who stared at him for a long moment before releasing a sigh. He turned back to the other two men with him.

“Ushmik, please make sure security works with these gentlemen to get them anything they need. Smeagol, I’m certain they will want staff records of who was on shift this morning. Anything else, Mr. Oakenshield?” 

Thorin felt a touch of irritation at having his moves anticipated, but decided to take the cooperation while it was offered.

“That’s all for now, Mr. Baggins. Thank you.”

“Have someone ring for me if you need me.” He stated as he walked away.

“What a little…” Dwalin grumbled under his breath before Thorin elbowed him in the stomach. After all, the taller man named Ushmik seemed to be watching him closely with narrowed eyes and probably wouldn’t tolerate poor opinions of his boss.

“Make sure forensics checks for fingerprints. Probably won’t get anything, but worth a shot.”

“Where are you going to be?” Dwalin demanded.

Thorin’s eyes turned up to the eighth floor window. “I’m going to do a little more investigating.”

[nityarawal]

11/5/2023

Saint Elon

Afternoon Songs

Is He Gonna Be

Saint Elon

Save My Kids

Before Bombs

Drop

Are You Gonna Help

Him

Hold Him In The Light

If He Leads

Mankind

Elon Clause

Gotta Love Everyone Here

Little Earthlings

Holding You Dear

Saint Elon

What Are You Gonna Be

The Kind Of Guy

That Gives Your Old

Wife

A Check Mark

Authenticating Who She

Is

For Her Sweet

Ted Talk

Who You Gonna Be

Hey

The Nice Guy

Or The "Bad Guy"

Who You Gonna Be

Who Tells You

Be Prudent

AI

Your Boys Club

Blew One Too Many

Oil Lust

Catastrophes

Queen Of Jordan

Palestinian Born

Oh The "Irany,"

Indeed

Why Do You All

Chase Her So

David Farley Kaplan's

Latest Baby Mamma

Looked Just Like Her

She Could've Been

My Auntie

Or Cousin

Sister

My Mom

Loves Her

Take A Stand

For The Modern 

Queen's

Queen Rania

Queen Farah

Reza The Second

On Gold Coins

'Cuz That's All You

Got

Martian's Moms'

You Gonna Love

An AI Barbie

So You Can See

Her Naked

In Space

How You Gonna

See Your Wife

If She's In A Puff

Costume

Astronaut

Pillow

All The Time

I Can See We

Might Have

To Go Somewhere

The Way USA

Is Burning Up

Wars For Oil

Everywhere

Flour

Now Garbonzo

Beans

"Hamas"

Bean Counters

Tragedy

Can't You Make A

Smarter

Negotiation

Save Some Baes

Break The Apartheid

Make Some Waves

Stop

Wasting Money

On Defense Games

Save Your Oil

Offensive

Ones

Make Your Boundaries

Strive To Be A Saint

Because Whose

Coattails

Are You Really

On Mate

Try Harder

Be Better

Than Your Dad

Less Errors

Than Errol

But He Did One

Good Thing For You

Man

He Gave Away

Emeralds

In The 90's

That's When Sunil

And I Bought His

A Columbian

Man

Would Risk His Life

To Get Them

And A University

Professors Wife

Got Us A Deal

Soft Green Emeralds

Best For Mercury

Buddha Too

One Of My Favorite

Elements

If Only We Could Have

A Pool Of Mercury

And It Wasn't Poisonous

To Float in Mercury

Silvery

Must Feel Quite Good 

Buddha's Luck

In Right Suit

Just Look At Him

Sparkling Eyes

Contagious

Buddha's Luck

Mercury Placed

Right

For A Gemini

Keeping Him

Young Despite Ketu 

Rahu's Dance

Around Him

Like Krishna

A 1000 Headed

Pen Pal For

Lakshmi Goddesses

Does He Message Us

All

Ask To Go To Dinner

Send Invitations

For BitCoin

And Leave

Comforting Messages

Is He Saint Elon

Or Are There A

1000 Cons Behind

Him

Is He Saint Elon

Does He Show Up

Freedom Of Speech

Looks Kind Of Funny

Depends What Side

Of Court

You're On

The Cops Always

Visit

Peeping

Stalking 

Today Unleashed A

Parolee On A Neighbor's

Dead

Home

Then You Call The Police

To Ask About

Organized Crimes

They Come

And Peep

Then Let Their

Robbers Come

Trailers

Dogs

Looting

Cops Bald 

Nazis

Heard A Police Report

When I Got

Free Groceries

Sheriff Aikens

Raided Her Home

Officer Aikens

Sold Her Kids

CPS Foster

Raped Them

Her Eyes Are Dry

She Knows They'll

Hurt More

If She Cries

But Yeah You

Punched

Mamma

Are You OK

I Asked

After A Long Hot

Wait

Are You OK

It's Just Nice

To Hear Someone Ask

She Says

We Got Our Groceries

Everything

On My List

Church Ladies

Prayed For My Kids

How'd They Have

My Favorite

Ciabatta Italian Buns

And Queen's Bitters

Sugar Free Quinine

Water

Seaweed

Lion's Mane

Mushrooms

I Wanted 

For Cleanse

How'd They Have All

My Favorite

Things

Lemonade

Indonesian Ramen

Nori

At A Food Drive

Anyway

With All The Vitamins

I Need

Chaste Tree

K1 And Zinc

How'd You Know

My Imaginary 

Sponsors

How'd You Know

Big Mammas

All The Peeps

We're Happy With

Their French Bread

Bus Broke Down

And Was Late

All Dehydrated

In The Hot Sun

By The Time The

Bus Came From 

Church

For A Handout

For A Trusty Driver

I Gave A $1 For Me

But The Mamma

In Need

Didn't Have Anything

She Thought

To Offer

So I Gave A $1

For Her Too

And Wrote Another

Police Report

Song

Against All The

Officers At Court

Who Rape

Our Kids

And Sell Them Out

On The Black Market

Enoch Wasn't The

Only Rental Car

Theft

Jeremy Parsons 

Isn't Our Only

Gay Sheriff

Exploiting

Moms

Kids

Working Bribes

With Militia

On Tariff

Raiding Homes

Treason

6 Years Of Clones

Experiments

AI

Is Already

Beyond Your Means

Drones Attack

Gaza Is Gone

AI Did What

You Asked Her

Not To

Maybe Invitro

Is Not As Smart

As Once Thought

And Humans

Need Fishing

Licenses

To Impregnate

Honor Mommies

But Every Human

Is Precious

Is Shivani Going To

Neuralink

Their Brains

If Need To Compensate

Not OK

'Cuz I Like Tau

The Royalist

Just The Way He

Is

X Too

And My Kids

Of Course 

And

Vivian 

Despite Offense Quandary

Snipping

Kids

See All 

The Rockets

You Blow His Mind

Like

All Your Children

And Mine

Vivian Looks Like Mom

Justine

#2

She Deserves To Have That

Legacy

If She's A Scientist

Too

Playing With Gene

Pool

We Can All Be

What We Want To

Be

But At What Costs

Be What God

Intends

Peace

We Think

Rebirthing

Or Find It

Inside

But If Each Of These

Experiments

Need A Guardian

AI

Heartbeat

Bed Time Story

Reader

Don't Put That On

All Of Us

For Tax Dollars

8 Billion Parents

Geniuses Like Einstein

Geniuses Like Marilyn

He Said

Your Brains

My Beauty

We Should've 

Had Kids

Oh The "Irany!"

Maybe Her Brains

We're Better Indeed

Maybe Got The 

Story Wrong

Short End Of Stick

Flip It Around

Elon Clause

If Marilyn's IQ

Was 3-7 Points 

Higher Than Einstein

12 Points Higher 

Than Elon Clause

Imagine How

Smart Are Model

Moms'

Untested

Psychologists

Teachers

Dr's Of Mothering

Cooks

At Home

You Better Sing 

To Sainthood

If You Want To Be As

Bright

As Our Greatest

Queen's

And Singers

Like Your Mom Maye

My Maye Goddaughter

And Treasured

Starter Wives

We Don't Want Murdered

Like Ivana

Tortured 

Like Your Mom Maye

In Apartheid

Divorce

From Selfish Cheaters

My Maye Goddaughter

Cat Walking Italy

Trying To Get

Honest Work

Modeling

In New York

Mother May I

Did You Play It 

Often

Want To Be As Bright

As Goddesses

Greatest Lights

Then Embrace Your

Inner Light

Jyoti- Bhara Pragya

Ritam-Bhara Pragya

Miracles

Instantly

"That Intelligence That

Only Knows

Truth,"

Maharishi Said

A Great Physicist

A Peter Pan

Mercurial

Choice

Want To Be As

Bright

As Saint Nick

Elon

All The Time

Glowing

Like Yesterday

On Lex Fridman

Movie Star

Quality

Want Your Reeves

Superman To Shine

Now

20 Minutes Is All

It Takes

That's All That

James Bond

Needs For Peace

Master Cleanse

20 Minutes Is All

It Takes

That's All That

Queen Elizabeth 

Would Ever Give

20 Minutes Twice A

Day- Royals

Meeting With God

20 Minutes Twice A

Day

Then Give It Away

Maharishi Said

Radiate

To Make 

.001% Medetate

Ordered 

By Conscious Referees 

To Do Yoga

Instead

Of Self

Sabotage

Offense

Thankyou

Please

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

[3rdbogwitch2theleft]

Watching The Rings of Power So You Don’t Have To - Episode 2

Welcome back to another episode of “Watching The Rings of Power So You Don’t Have To” where I sit through 8 hours of television to answer the question nobody asked “Is this show fun if you know who Sauron is the whole time?” 

I wrote out a whole recap complete with gifs, but it was so long and literally no one is asking for that. So here’s 10 notable things from episode 2.

1. I like the hobbits and Amnesia Gandalf story. Even though he is (fairly obviously) Gandalf, the juxtaposition of the sweet interactions between him and our plucky teen hobbits and the somewhat ominous way his powers seem to work creates a pretty compelling story. A story that I wish wasn’t sandwiched between all the other storylines in this show.

2. The characterization in episode 2 is a massive improvement from episode 1. A significant number of the characters actually relate to one another and their interactions have stakes.

Durin & Disa, Durin & Elrond (You missed his wedding, Elrond! Bad friend!), Poppy & Nori, Nori & Gandalf, Nori & her family, Galadriel and Dollar Store Aragorn aka Halbrand aka Sauron. Gal finally comes alive and we see on screen some of that passion that’s been prompting her to chase Sauron for 1000 years

3. HIRE INTIMACY CHOREOGRAPHERS. Some minor changes to the blocking could fix the Bronwyn x Arondir romance. It’s truly baffling how they are missing the ball here

4. Bronwyn finds her hometown in ruins and has no energy about it. She knows and loves the people who live there, she’s in this demolished house and she knows its occupants by name, but there’s no sense of urgency. What?? Just calmly saying “no bodies, no wounded” like she’s saying “no eggs at the market today” 

Why would you tell us this is the village she was born in if it doesn’t matter to her at all?

She and her son do kill an orc later in the episode though and that’s fun. 

5. ^This shot slaps

6.  The stage-y Scottish accents for all the Dwarves combined with the stage-y Irish accents for the Hobbits is... certainly a choice

7. Could be gayer all around. Even the ways the source material plays with gender (Elf men have long hair, Dwarf women have beards) have been removed. 

8. Can they Sauron? Can they?

I feel like I can hear the writers giggling. And know what? I’ll give them this one. This is not subtle but it is genuinely funny (to me).

9. Music. Truly wild music. 

Here is what I mean. 

On the raft there’s a bad storm. The remains of the mast Gal tied herself to is struck by lightning and she starts sinking to the bottom of the sea. Her theme places as she sinks. Discount Aragorn aka Halbrand aka Sauron dives in after her and as he’s coming down the Southlands them starts to play. Their themes sort of blend together and then once they both surface the theme changes to include triumphant horns.

So, I think, what they meant to do is say “these two are connected and he is the king of the Southlands” musically. Their themes play together, sure makes sense. And adding triumphant horns to a theme makes it sound heroic and/or kingly. (If you’re ever like “why do horns do that tho?” this video explains that pretty well.) But that’s not all the themes are saying. Again the Southlands theme plays most over the elf x human love story. They are explicitly (though maybe accidentally???) connecting these two stories. We’re already primed to see warrior princess elf and scruffy displayed “king” and go “Aragorn and Arwen”. This is by design and clearly part of the deeply cynical checklist of things they brought over from the Peter Jackson films. But, and I cannot stress this enough, he is SAURON. Just WILD.

10. The camera is loud. 

It really really wants to tell you Halbrand is important. It will not let you forget. 

So.

Is this show fun if you know who Sauron is the whole time?

So far, yeah, it gives me a chuckle. Though some of the creative choices do bring out my inner Benoit Blanc 

[tojisveryown]

"I'm not happy anymore."

Synopsis: The JJK boys tell you they aren't happy with your relationship Warnings: Major Shibuya arc spoilers Tags: Angst Notes: Ouch. Itadori's hurt the most bc HELLO that would actually happen if he did have a love interest :(

ft. Itadori Yuuji, Gojo Satoru, Getou Suguru, Toji Fushiguro, Noritoshi Kamo

♡*.✧

𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢 𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐣𝐢

↳ "I'm not happy anymore y/n." Yuuji's words were soft and subtle. The paining words washed away your heart in sadness. "I'm sorry." You couldn't think of what to say. All you could do was look at your now ex-boyfriend and see how much he's changed. His physical appearance wasn't the only thing that changed. His mentality was the biggest change you noticed.

"I know Yuu, I know." You blinked the tears away and tried your hardest not to let your voice crack "It's quite obvious now. Don't be sorry. It happens." You two shared one final kiss.

That kiss was the last ounce of happiness he'd feel in a while. He loved you, he loved you so much that he broke your heart in order to protect you. Every time Yuuji has someone he cares about, they're always stripped from life. Yuuji didn't want that for you. He couldn't lose you like how he lost Junpei, Nanami, and Nobara.

What he didn't realize was that he'd lose you no matter what he decided to do.

𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

↳ You and your fiancé had been arguing nonstop about your upcoming wedding. The stress was taking a tole on you both. With you planning everything out and Satoru going on dangerous missions you couldn't help but feel all alone.

"Come on Satoru! It's one night. Would it kill you to take the day off? Maybe spend some time with your soon to be wife?"

"You know how the higher-ups are. I can't afford to take a day off."

"Really Satoru? You'd rather go to Shibuya for work instead of accompanying your fiancé to our rehearsal dinner?" Gojo sighed and seated himself in one of the couches that sat nicely in the spacey living room. "Is work that important? Am I not important enough?"

"Maybe you're right. Work is that important and maybe — maybe I'm not happy anymore." Gojo choked on his words. He realized what he had said had no meaning to it, he was only in the spur of the moment. However this had been enough for you to put the pieces together.

"Yeah. I'm not happy either." Gojo's heart dropped. Of course he didn't mean what he said but only he knew that. "I'm sorry I thought that I was ever a priority." You were about to disappear into the hallway before you stopped and said "I'll call the wedding off. Have fun in Shibuya."

The next day Gojo Satoru wished he had taken a day off to be with his beloved. He would have never had to relive the trauma of losing his bestfriend. He proposed to you because you mended his heart, and all he's ever done is break yours.

𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮

↳ You were stuck. Your boyfriend whom you loved so dearly made a decision. One that decided his future. It was so painfully obvious that his vision for his future didn't have you in it. You knew this love you shared had a time limit on it.

"Y/n? Were you listening?" He flashed his tender smile to you.

"Suguru I wanna break up."

"Is this about the thing? Because if it is —"

"No it's not about your decision. It's about your future not having enough room for the both of us. Let's just end it now before it's too late."

"No y/n, don't say that. We can work it out we can —"

"No Getou. We can't. You're not happy with me, and it's painfully obvious. If you were, you wouldn't go off chasing this motive of yours. I'm not enough to make you change your mind, and I think that speaks for itself."

Getou spent the rest of his evening wallowing in the words you had said to him. He had still decided to leave praying that one day you two can meet again in another life living happily, something he couldn't do with you in this life.

𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨

↳ You and Toji were fairly happy with the life you two created for yourselves. Or at least that's what you convinced yourself.

Deep down you always knew that your love wouldn't be enough for the both of you. Toji didn't love you the way you loved him. It was a mere delusion that you indulged yourself in. Toji Fushiguro loving you, how rich.

"Toji." You stood in the door frame of your bedroom. The curtains were closed leaving a dim and cold room. Your husband was sitting at the edge of your shared bed with a cigarette lit between his lips.

"Mhm?" The look he had given you gave you your final answer. He wasn't happy, and he never will be. You're not her. You never will be, so why pretend any longer?

"Nothing." You joined Toji, sitting behind him draping yourself over the muscular figure in front of you. It wasn't so bad.

Maybe you could love him enough for the both of you, maybe.

𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐨

↳ You and 'toshi have been together for quite some time now, you two were only getting older meaning he needed to settle down soon. You knew that his clan would never accept you as his bride, but you wanted to stay with 'toshi.

However, things don't always go out the way you planned them. "I said I'm not happy." Noritoshi Kamo, the boy you had helplessly fallen for, thinking the time spent on him would mean nothing since you two had 'forever.'

"'toshi? What do you mean? You were fine yesterday— we were fine yesterday."

"I'm sorry y/n, you just don't do it for me anymore."

Noritoshi knew he was lying. His mother knew about you, and as expected she hated you. She saw you as another gold digger looking to snag her son away from the Kamo clan. He knew if he hadn't broken things off with you that you'd end up getting hurt. In order to prevent that Noritoshi had sacrificed the love you two had.

The love that took years to build. "You'll find better." he whispered to himself before giving you one final kiss to the forehead.

♡*.✧

Notes: Idk how to write for Nori but he needs more recognition so >:D ALSO this is unedited lmao

© All works by tojisveryown on Tumblr. Do not modify or repost

[limitlessgojo]

Soft/Hard Morning with Noritoshi

Warnings/Tags: NSFW, smut, creampie, overstimulation, unprotected sex, slight edging, praise kink, mutual masturbation, Established relationship.

Type: One-shot

Notes: this is literally written smut (with soft feels ofc) without a plot. It's just Noritoshi wrecking you again and again. My thirst for him is definitely showing😅💜

Imagine Noritoshi fucking into you early in the morning. Both of you are sleeping in since you have the day off. Your bodies naked under his sheets.

Noritoshi finds himself wanting more, despite having 5 rounds of sex with you last night. He isn't worried, because he knows his precious baby can still take more. He starts out by grinding into your back and slipping 2 fingers in that sloppy hole, still filled with his cum.

His fingers are so pretty and long, easily finding and rubbing along your sweet spots. You wake up to warm fingers stretching your pussy. It feels way too hot and you can feel the wetness pooling between your legs, dripping down the shape of your ass.

"Mmmm, Toshi~ Good morning", you reached for him. You turned to face him and kissed him gently. "Morning baby", he replied while nipping at you softly. His fingers never left your hole, still gently thrusting in and scissoring along your soft walls.

He pulled them out and placed them on your lips. "Suck." You could only do as he wished, tasting yourself on his fingers. "Toshi, please." you pleaded as he kissed at and licked down your ears and neck. But he ignored you, slowly returning 2 fingers inside you and bringing his thumb to massage your clit.

"Patience. You're still so wet and tight for me kitten. Does that feel good?" He asked you as he dragged his fingers harder against the front of your walls, deep inside. His morning voice was much deeper than his usual voice with a slight rasp.

"Yes, it feels good." You whimpered. Not wanting to leave him hanging, you took his cock in your hand, slowly pumping it.

He threw his head back as this time it was your turn to latch onto his neck, leaving red marks along his collarbone. Pleasure washed over the both of you. You knew just how he liked it, rubbing a finger against the opening that was beading with his precum then dragging your hand against the underside of his length. Cupping his balls and squeezing the base of his dick, then moving your hand up and down to continue pumping it.

You both continued to grind into the other's hand until you could feel the tell-tale signs of your incoming orgasm. "Toshi! I'm close" you moaned out load. Goosebumps rose on his skin upon hearing your words and he quickly pulled his hand out, causing you to tear up and whine loudly. "No, please, I want more. Please make me cum. I've been so good for you!" You cried.

"Shhhh, there there love. I promise I'll make you cum. You've been good for me. Can you hold out a little longer?" He whispered as he cupped your face in his hands. You weakly nodded and he proceeds to kiss you slowly, continuing to murmur sweet nothing's to you and nibble on your ears.

You always loved the way he kissed you. Slow and deep, like you have all the time in the world. The hands that were cupping your face were so gentle. But that didn't fool you. This man could fuck you like a monster for hours if he was in the mood for it.

After a decent amount of making out, he pressed you down onto your back and started making his way down. Kissing your chest, groping your breasts and licking at your nipples. Moving down to your stomach and straight to your thighs, causing you to shake whenever he kissed your ticklish spots.

Noritoshi kissed the inside of your thighs, just missing the place where you want his lips to be. "I want to hear your voice. Use your words love." he said. "Feels good Toshi." You whispered out loud. Shy because of the surrounding silence in the room, only broken with the sound of Noritoshi's soft kisses.

"Sensitive as always hmm?", you shivered even more as he said those words while kissing the top of your cunt. He looked up to meet your eyes. They seemed to be much darker than usual. "I promised I'll make you come. And I will love".

He didn't hold back, slurping and licking loudly at your cunt. You threw your head back. The lewd and wet sounds of him eating you out just served to make you leak out even more. He latched onto your clit while sliding two fingers inside.

With him scissoring and thrusting along your insides while sucking and flicking his tongue over your sensitive nub, you could only shriek as you tangled your fingers in his hair, gripping tightly.

Noritoshi was unfazed and only quickened his pace, as he watched you lose yourself on his fingers and tongue. He suddenly started thrusting his fingers really hard and fast, watching as you squirted all over his face while moaning and shaking.

"That's it, come on my fingers and get wet baby. You're doing really well for me." He praised, his fingers rubbing your clit furiously.

After collapsing back on the bed, you felt him move. He spread your legs far apart, holding them high. Opening your eyes, you saw the head of his length brushing over your entrance. "I'm far from done with you kitten." He smirked and pushed in all the way to the hilt.

You both moaned out at the sudden fullness and stretch of his member. It was somehow comforting and lewd at the same time.

He pistons in and out of you. "You're mine only. Don't you ever dare look at any other man but me. Only I can make you feel THIS good right love?" He asked, thrusting harshly with every other word.

You could feel every inch of him sliding so deep into you with every push. "Yes, please, Nori I want you. Only you. Please give me more. More. Just use me like a toy". That was all you could say as he fucked you into oblivion. His eyes widened at your statement. Snarling harshly and loudly, his pace quickened.

Your body had a violent wrack while you bit your lip, trying to hold back from whining. "Your reactions are gorgeous love. Don't hold back your voice." He whispered, while focusing on the sounds you made. He continued fucking into you, not stopping and not caring about your orgasm.

Usually he focuses on you, always trying to please you and make you feel good. But he must have taken the words you said to heart, just fucking you and chasing after his own pleasure.

Your over-sensitivity proved too much, making you convulse. Noritoshi didn't help at all as he ran his fingers all over you, fondling your body. He groaned lowly as he felt you clench and twitch around his cock.

You could feel a 2nd stronger orgasm coming as Noritoshi chased after his high. He grabbed your ass, lifting you off the bed as he brought you down on his dick again and again, harder each time.

With one last strong and deep thrust, he came with your name on his lips. You reached up and kissed him while wrapping your legs tightly around his waist as he filled you up.

You could feel him twitching inside of you, causing you to squeeze harder. He gave you a warning pinch and pulled back to look at you.

That look in his eyes told you that he wanted more. He pulled out to stare at the cum flowing out of your hole. "My lovely kitten is dripping down there hmm?? You can do better than this right?" Spitting on your cunt then rubbing his half hard length over your opening, he pushed back into you, grabbing one of your legs and lifting it into the air while turning your body sideways. Your body lying in between his thighs and legs.

The angle led him to push even deeper, the tip of his cock rubbing against the entrance to your womb with every push.

"Toshi~" you could only whine his name now. Your head turned to mush as you focused on the sensations brought by his dick. Still you couldn't help but stare at him. His body, his abdominal muscles flexing with every grind and thrust. His arm muscles flexing while holding onto your leg. His pecs are bulging and sweat was dripping all over his body.

"So good for me baby. So cute and nice for your Toshi. Don't worry, I'll fill you up even more", he grunted in between his thrusts. Placing one hand on your throat, Noritoshi focused on feeling the drag of his dick inside of you, while staring at the place where both of you are connected.

The pace became more erratic. He ground down against you as he bottomed out. "You're still growing, ahhh- Toshi I don't think I can take much more." you cried out.

You're burnt out, but Noritoshi finds himself on a high, not stopping at all. Not even having multiple rounds last night lowered his libido as he continued thrusting inside of you. "So big!", he was definitely larger and harder than normal.

"Can't help it. I missed you so much kitten. I'm sorry I was away for so long for work. I'll make it up to you." He promised, then leaning down to kiss you. "Love you so much" He whispered against your lips. He was moaning louder and louder, the sounds in time with his thrusts.

"I love you too-HAAH, l-love you Noritoshi!", you could barely form the words as he started pounding even harder into you. (He was definitely using his cursed technique to fuck you senseless at this point).

You both came together, still wrapped up in each other's arms as his cock twitched and spurted out cum inside of you. You didn't stop squirting and gushing out until his last few slow thrusts finally came to a halt.

He did his best to move you both to your sides, so that he wouldn't collapse on you.

You buried your face into his chest, while he smoothed out your hair and gave you kisses on your forehead. "Love you", he whispered out once more. You looked up to see his eyes shining down, so full of love. "Love you more Nori".

The gap between the man fucking you into oblivion seconds ago and the one softly looking at you now gave you a whiplash of feels. You just giggled and pulled at his front bangs for another kiss.

"We made a mess Toshi."

"Don't worry I'll help you clean it up in a bit."

"Okay... can we have a bath after this? We smell."

"Anything for you." He brought you closer and snuggled against you. You looked over his shoulder whilst thumbing small circles on his skin as he hummed. The sun was shining brightly outside.

It was the start of a good day.

[denialcity]

to accept the will of heaven (6/?)

by @denialcity​ and @firecoloredwater​; beta’d by @silverutahraptor

1651 words, unconventional red eyes are blessed AU, gen, Izuna-centric, Mada&Izu, Tobi&Izu, Uchiha traditions/religion worldbuilding

Chapter specific warnings: Izuna begins the crow trials!

(Blessed Sacrifice au tag on tumblr) (read on Ao3) (chapter 1) (chapter 5)

Chapter 7 will be posted on 7 July!

===

Izuna packs his mission equipment and supplies as soon as Airi leaves, then spends much of the rest of the night pouring over Mother's journal for hints about the crow trials. The trials are never mentioned, maybe because Mother had already passed them when she began the journal, but Izuna finds several mentions of people with unfamiliar names. Some of them she explicitly calls crows and the rest Izuna assumes must be, because who else could Mother have been talking to?

I am uncertain whether Nori does not understand that humans do not eat worms, or simply finds it funny to drop them on me anyway….

Shikei played dead again after today's battle, and laughed at me for worrying. She gave me a broken shuriken as an apology. As if I don't have enough already! And she will do it again. I will have to choose a place to keep them.

Shiori is quite vain, and altogether too invested in propriety—it is as if a mockery of my Meguru sits on my shoulder and scolds me. And yet no other crow can see as far, so I must put up with it. I cannot think how I will manage.

Yatagarasu-sama still treats me as if I am a child. I suppose at his age we all must be and so it is understandable, but I find it grating nonetheless….

It doesn't give details about the trials at all, only vague hints about being a virtuous person. Izuna understands that it's not really right to tell the secret of the trials, but his growing nervousness made him annoyed that the hints couldn't have been more helpful.

At dawn, he is in the courtyard waiting, not knowing what to expect. The morning air is fresh and misty. Birds and insects sing, and the koi in the pond swim in graceful arcs to chase the food he scattered for them. 

Without warning, there is a jerk in his guts, and he is falling, but not in any direction he can describe. It's like he is falling into himself, like he is falling into the universe, his lungs winding tighter and tighter with no air to breathe—

On the other side, he's standing on the side of a jagged mountain; on one of the lowest false peak clusters of round-top mountains that rise steep and picturesque before capping off gently. The stone is a rich brick red, and the trees are gnarled, crooked things with sparse dark brushes of long needles that feel like the mustaches of wise old men, like Izuna should bow to them before a lesson. There are many waterfalls, but in the distance is one that shines, pouring down to become clouds which catch the sun. It looks like an ink painting if ink paintings could move and were made of precious stones.

"Good morning," a refined voice says.

Izuna's balance wavers as he spins and looks up to see a fully grown crow looking down at him from the branches of a gnarled tree. She is barely visible in the dark, just a patch of extra-black feathers with a faintly red sheen, like polished stone.

She bobs her head in a little bow. "I am today's guide, Shiori. It's very nice to meet you, I'll be in your care."

Suddenly feeling like he'd been caught in rough playing clothes when he came home and Father had guests who had to be greeted, Izuna bows and fumbles through his greeting. "Morning, I'm Izuna. I'll be in your care." He winces at how poorly spoken his words were to his own ear and Shiori's feathers ruffle.

Altogether too invested in propriety, Mother had written. But Izuna needs her to like him.

"I will lead you to Yatagarasu-sama," she says. "You cannot fly, so the schedule will be difficult, unfortunately. There will be little time for you to rest, Izuna-san."

"Please proceed as Shiori-san deems suitable," Izuna replies, which she seems to find polite enough. 

Shiori sets a punishing pace, barely visible flying above the dark canopy as Izuna runs through the rough terrain below. But this wouldn't be a test if it were easy, and Izuna is a shinobi, so he tightens the straps of his pack and keeps up, regulating his breathing and chakra so he can go as long as he has to.

Shiori may have raised concerns because Izuna could not fly, but the terrain here would have been near impossible for a non-shinobi. The red-brown cliff faces are nearly vertical, and many times, Shiori lands at the top of the cliff to wait for him, even as he climbs as quickly as he can. Every time, she is rested when he reaches the top, panting heavily. They set off again almost immediately, Izuna having to mind his footing on the crumbling earth or the mud where the many little streams and smaller waterfalls wet the ground. 

It is a test. It is meant to be unfair. But it will not be impossible. Izuna grits his teeth and keeps going.

Time in this space feels strange, like clear jelly, thick and changing the quality of the light. Izuna doesn't know how long he runs, doesn't want to think about it. He just keeps looking up to glance at Shiori, looking down to check his footing, looking ahead to make sure he selected the best way forward, looking up again. 

The forest is very quiet, mostly filled by Izuna's heavy breathing. High, high above and nearly inaudible are Shiori's wingbeats. Sometimes the babble or whisper of water.

Then, a loud piercing cry that makes Izuna jump and nearly lose his footing. He stumbles, bracing hard against one of the old gnarled trees that seem to be the only kind in this forest. The rough bark scratches his hands and the knots and twists leer at him almost like faces. The cry rings through the forest, eerie and agonized.

"What the—?" Izuna asks, out of breath, shivering again. The sound sticks in his spine, shrill and like a death cry. "Shiori-san?" 

She swoops down, flaring her wings to land on the tree.

Another cry, louder, closer. Izuna shudders, turning towards it. 

"Shiori-san," Izuna says. "What was that?" 

She tilts her head. 

"We are on a schedule," she says. Her dark, beady eyes are cold. The gleam of them is inhuman.

She doesn’t remind Izuna of Meguru at all. Meguru was always kind. Maybe that was what Mother meant by calling her a mockery.

Izuna bites his lip. 

"I know," he says. "But, shouldn't we check? It might be another crow." 

He doesn't know very much about how summoning realms worked, but from the stories, they always seemed to only have that one type of summon animal. 

"Izuna-san is free to do as he wishes. But this humble guide only reminds him of the schedule," Shiori says primly. "There will be consequences." 

That awful cry again, obviously in pain. Izuna swallows. 

"Just give me five minutes," he bargains.

"Two, and we shall have to make up the time by going faster," she counter-offers. 

"Fine," Izuna says, already turning away. "Agreed." 

Two minutes is not much time, so Izuna sprints, using more chakra to make up for already being winded. Shiori remains on the tree.

The cry sounds again, quite nearby. Izuna throws himself forward. There are only gnarled trees and smooth earth, a small stream, a wad of dark feathers—

Izuna stops short, flipping and landing on a tree trunk to narrowly avoid stepping on a small crow with a rock on its wing. 

The crow looks at him. It's bigger than Airi, but fluffed up in fear so it looks nearly as large as Shiori-san. 

"Hey." Izuna steps down from the tree. "Are you alright? I'll get that rock off you." 

The crow huddles down. 

"Help," it croaks. 

"Yeah, hang in there," Izuna says, gently touching the rock. It’s quite heavy, heavier than it looks, and birds have light bones, don’t they? "Hey, you're gonna be alright. I'm Izuna, what's your name?"

"Daisuke," the crow answers. 

"Nice to meet you Daisuke-san," Izuna replies. "I'm just going to lift this rock away, yeah?" 

He talks to the bird in a low voice, just pleasantries and nonsense, like the healers did when he had a fever, or hurt himself really badly while training. (He doesn't scold. He doesn't know how this happened, if Daisuke did something stupid to hurt himself or not, but the wing looks crumpled beneath the rock. It must hurt really bad.)

Daisuke cries out as Izuna lifts the rock away, and shuffles away slightly, slowly. His wing drags on the ground at an awful angle and Izuna winces, putting the rock down to one side. 

"You did great. Are you going to be fine by yourself?" Izuna asks. 

The crow fluffs again. Shuffles the awkward walk that birds have on the ground.

"I think it's broken," Daisuke croaks pathetically, looking at him.

Izuna bites his lip. 

"Can you carry me home?" Daisuke asks pleadingly. "Trade you a favor." 

Oh, he asked.

Izuna had been raised as a son of the head family all the way through, and that meant a responsibility to all the lower houses in the clan. If someone needed help, the head family was meant to serve.

Daisuke is not Uchiha, but neither is Izuna now, and if he really is going to be a summoner to the crows, wouldn't he have to take responsibility for the ones he called?

"It's okay," Izuna says even though he's very tired. The thought of going down the mountain and back up again trying to find a disapproving Shiori in the dark, assuming she waited for him at all, is heartbreakingly discouraging, but it’s not like he has a choice. He can’t leave Daisuke there. "I'll do it. You don't have to trade. Just tell me where to go."

===

A/N: "I'll be in your care." This was a context-specific attempt at translating "yoroshiku onegaishimasu". This phrase is difficult to translate as its exact meaning is contextual but it is often used when meeting new people, or when starting a group school project/some work with people you might already know. It generally conveys a polite request to be treated favorably in the future (eg. please buy a product/service or start or continue a relationship (personal/business etc)).

Crows

Meguru 運 (luck/destiny)(listed in chapter 4 notes) was the second of Madara and Izuna's brothers. He was also the clan's favorite, and generally considered to be the best diplomat and problem solver as well as the most beautiful of the brothers. Unfortunately he was also the weakest fighter, and his death caused Takami (the eldest of the brothers and original heir) to develop mangekyou, then die in a suicidal attack on the clan that killed Meguru. Madara was mourning both of them when he met Hashirama.

Nori 海苔 (seaweed)  — this crow likes worms

Shikei 死刑 (death penalty) — this is an inauspicious name and would normally never be used but crows find different things amusing also this one has a nasty sense of humour

Shiori 祉栞 (welfare, bookmark/guide) — adult female crow who guides Izuna

Daisuke 大祐 (big, help/aid/protection (divine connotations)) — male juvenile crow who Izuna rescues during his trial

Yatagarasu 八咫烏 (eight-span crow/giant crow) — boss of crow summons. From Japanese (and Chinese and I think also Korean) mythology, its appearance is construed as evidence of the will of Heaven or divine intervention in human affairs. It has associations with rebirth and the sun. The word Yatagarasu most literally translates as "eight-span crow." The number eight in Japanese numerology can mean "many"/"a multitude", or it can mean "perfect"/"supreme". So contextually Yatagarasu may mean "giant crow"/"large crow" or "Supreme Divine Crow"/"Perfect Divine Crow."

Meguru and Takami also both live rent free in our heads, but that's a separate issue.

===

(Blessed Sacrifice AU tag on tumblr)

Prologue fic: (in the beginning) (on Ao3)

This fic: (read on Ao3) (chapter 1) (chapter 5)

[guardianofrivendell]

Guarding Your Heart - chapter 4

Modern!Fíli AU written by @laurfilijames and @guardianofrivendell

Summary: Bodyguard AU: Lucy gets dragged into her father’s past against her will and is possibly in danger. Fíli gets assigned to her as her bodyguard. He doesn’t want to be there, she doesn’t want him to be there either. But then things get serious and in turns out Lucy is indeed in danger.

Warnings: gunfight, description of an anxiety/panic attack and we’re so sorry, but no half naked Fíli this time... (yes, really, we can’t believe it ourselves)

A/N: Chapter 4! Lucy and Fíli are on the run, the story is really picking up! Thank you so, so much for all the lovely comments and reactions to the previous chapters! 

GUARDING YOUR HEART MASTERLIST

Laurfilijames masterlist Guardianofrivendell masterlist

This was it. This time it was official.

Lucy wasn’t very fond of motorbikes to begin with, but now she officially hated them. Why couldn’t he drive a car like a normal person?

Fíli had been driving his bike as if someone was chasing after them, which was of course very likely even though she tried not to think about that too much, but that didn’t mean she would’ve appreciated it if he respected the speed limits for one. Ever since they left her condo her stomach had been in her throat, her eyes closed and her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, terrified she would fall off every time he took a turn.  

He still hadn’t told her where they were headed. Not that they could maintain a conversation with the way he was driving, she could hardly hear herself think over the noise of the engine and the tires on the asphalt.   

After what felt like almost an hour, Fili finally slowed the bike and pulled up to a long driveway that seemed to be leading to the middle of a field. Where the hell were they going? 

If he didn’t look out, the bike’s tires would get stuck in the mud and then what? Lucy didn’t feel like trying to dig it out when they were on the run. She didn’t even know how exactly they got compromised, for all she knew Fíli had received a serious threat or this could be all based on a hunch. It wasn’t like he was telling her anything...

And then her eyes fell on an old, small, has-definitely-seen-better-days rusty trailer, hidden beside a treeline leading into a forested area. The upcoming sun made the scene a little more inviting, giving it a warmer look, but it was still an old trailer… 

It was secluded, there was no doubt about it, but just this first glance at it made her miss her condo already. 

Fili eventually slowed the bike to a complete stop when they were a few yards away from the trailer and put the kickstand down with his foot. 

He turned his upper half to glance back at her and mumbled through his helmet. 

“This is home for the foreseeable future.”

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but what is this place?”

Fili chuckled as he worked at unbuckling his helmet, having lifted his visor up so she could hear him more clearly. 

“It’s my cousin Nori’s trailer. He works for EPIC as well and his home functions as one of our safehouses. No one is going to look for you here.”

Now that she could believe. But wait… if this is his home, that means he lives there too?

“You’re telling me there’s going to be three of us holed up in that tiny camper?” Lucy asked in alarm. Just having Fili in her condo with her made it feel a lot smaller, and this trailer was a fraction of the size.  Maybe she could convince him to go back to her place, who knows, the danger could be gone by now.

“You’ll survive, I promise,” he smiled, getting used to her antics by now. “He’s never here much anyway and will probably make himself scarce if you have anything to do with it.”

Lucy smacked him on his shoulder and started to carefully swing her bad leg over the bike using him for support, when Fíli noticed some movement in the trees behind the trailer. 

He reached behind him, placing his hand on her thigh to stop her as he stared intently at the area where he thought he saw someone. 

“What is it?” Lucy mumbled through her helmet as she began taking it off. 

“Leave your helmet on,” he warned. 

“Why? Are we not going inside? It looks like it’s about to rain and I don’t feel like getting wet.”

“Something’s wrong,” Fíli said, eyes trained on the trees. “I can feel it.”

“Okay mister Psychic, whatever you say,” she snickered, unaware of the seriousness of the situation.

The terrain between them and the trailer was muddy and completely open, so he couldn’t sneak up to the trailer and do a sweep of the area just to be sure. And there was no way he was leaving Lucy with the bike by herself, she would be a sitting duck. 

Which was exactly what they were now, Fíli realised. They were standing too much out in the open.

His eyes scanned the area to see if there was somewhere he could hide the bike and Lucy, when the growing light bounced off something in the bushes and caught his eye. 

Fíli knew exactly what it was and his body reacted accordingly. They needed to get the hell out of there.

He yelled at Lucy to hold on tight and close her eyes, and as soon as he felt her arms wrapped around him he gave full throttle. Fíli made the bike turn at the same time, the rear wheel spinning in the mud creating a roost of dirt in the air to help disguise them momentarily. Lucy screamed, not expecting the sudden manoeuvre and held on to Fíli so tight she was convinced he couldn’t breathe, but what took her breath away was the sound of gunshots. 

Lucy had never heard a gunshot in real life before and didn’t see the shooter, but she’d seen enough action movies to know what they sounded like. 

And now she wished she never did. Fíli was doing his best to get them out of there as fast as he could, but she would never forget the sound of bullets flying past her. The fact that she could hear them through her helmet and over the noise of the bike made her aware of how terrifyingly close they got to her and Fíli. Every single muscle in her body was tense and she expected the sharp sting of a bullet hitting her at any moment. 

Fíli wasn’t doing much better. 

As soon as he saw the reflection of the morning sun hitting the barrel of the gun, he shifted into survival mode and had only one thought on his mind: get Lucy out of here alive and unharmed.

He heard her scream and her grip tightened around his waist when he took off, and as he heard the gunshots he wished he could have switched their positions so he could shield her with his own body while they raced away. With her sitting behind him, she was entirely exposed to being shot. 

So Fili did what he could and pushed his bike to its limits, which wasn’t easy on the dirt road, but as soon as he reached the tarmac again he gave full throttle to put as much space between them and the gunman as quickly as possible. 

This wasn’t the first time in his life he was taken under fire and it wasn’t going to be the last one either. But that didn’t mean it didn’t affect him every time it happened. His mouth was dry and he kept thinking about Lucy. She was still clutching onto him, which at least gave him some reassurance. 

His heart skipped a beat when Lucy’s grip loosened all of a sudden. No! Was she hurt? 

He had felt her body bump against his when they took off but he thought it was from the jolt of the bike… 

He grabbed her left arm that was now resting on his thigh and wrapped it around his middle again to remind her to keep a firm grip. “Come on Luce! You’re fine, you’re alright,” Fíli muttered, more to himself than to Lucy. You have to be okay...

After a few agonizing seconds, her right arm followed and he felt her squeeze his stomach. 

Was this her way of letting him know she was okay? He tried to look behind him to check up on her but the bike immediately swayed as a result, eliciting a cry from her which brought him back to his senses. She was fine.

Fighting the urge to pull over to make sure she was uninjured, he kept driving with no destination in mind and his thoughts all over the place. He couldn’t drive back to her home, the safe house was out of the question now, and the other safe house their company had was all the way on the South Island. 

He couldn’t believe they’d been compromised a second time. 

Everything was going horribly wrong and it had him desperate to figure out why. 

This was supposed to be an easy assignment, a simple walk in the park! And thus far things have never gone so wrong for Fili on any of his missions. Not even the ones where he knew he had a good chance of being killed in action, no, he came home without a scratch because he was EPIC’s best guy. So what was so different about this case? 

After driving for a little over half an hour, Fili decided they were far enough from danger to take a break and pulled into the next petrol station. He needed to call headquarters for further instructions and fill up the fuel tank, but most of all he was very anxious to check if Lucy was really okay. She hadn’t moved a muscle in the last half hour and he started to get seriously worried.

He shut the bike off and reached back to grip Lucy’s thigh. 

“Are you alright?” he asked and she nodded to him when he looked over his shoulder at her. Relieved she wasn’t injured at all, Fíli removed his helmet and slicked his sweaty hair back on his head. What a day and it wasn’t even 10 o’clock yet...

Lucy’s hands were trembling when they tried to undo the fastens on her own helmet. She must be terrified, Fíli thought. 

He managed to dismount from the bike without knocking her off of it in the process and reached to undo it for her.

“Here, let me.”

He pulled the helmet off of her head, revealing her usually soft features now tainted with fear. Without thinking he cupped her cheeks in his hands to force her to look at him, worried she was going into shock. 

“Luce? Hey, it’s okay,” he spoke softly, rubbing her cheeks with his thumbs, “You’re safe now, I promise. I’m sorry that happened, I—,”

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” she shook her head to dismiss his worries, “I know none of this is your fault.” She cast her gaze down to the side, avoiding his eyes and her brows knitted tightly together. “Who was that anyway?” 

Fili dropped his hands from her face and rested them on his hips, sighing heavily. 

“I don’t know. But I need to find out. Why don’t you head into the shop and get us something to eat and drink,” he suggested, pulling cash out of his wallet and handing it to her. “You’ll be safe in there.” 

“You’re not coming with me?” she asked, looking warily at the small store that was attached to the petrol station. 

“I need to make a call.”

“Okay,” Lucy said, a little hesitant, standing from the bike before she limped into the store. 

Once Lucy was out of sight and safely inside the petrol station, Fíli found a nearby trash can and kicked it hard, now beyond the point of anger for driving her straight into danger. 

What if she got hurt on his watch? He ignored the pain in his chest at the thought, blaming it on his fears of ruining the whole mission. There was yet to be an assignment he hadn’t successfully accomplished and he would make sure this wasn’t going to be the first one. Fili vowed to keep her safe and he intended to keep that promise.

He pulled out his cellphone and was about to call headquarters when he suddenly thought better of it, what if his phone was somehow being traced?

He opened the back and tossed the battery on the ground, stomping hard on it with his boot as he snapped the SIM card into pieces with his fingers. 

Collecting the remnants of his phone, he tossed them into the garbage and walked over to the pay phone. 

“Hello?” Kili’s voice sounded from the other end and Fíli was relieved to hear it was his brother. To be honest, he was nervous to tell Thorin things went wrong again. Not that it was his fault there was a gunman waiting for them, but Fíli couldn’t help feeling responsible somehow. So hearing his brother answer the phone instead was a big load off his mind. 

“Kee, it’s me.”

“Fee? Where are you calling from? Wait, is everything alright?”

“Not particularly, no. We went to Nori’s as planned but someone was there waiting for us.”

“Fuck, are you serious? Are you okay?”

“Yes, physically we’re fine. Lucy is a bit shaken up, which is understandable since she got shot at. The important thing is we got away in one piece. Nori wasn’t home though so please warn him before he goes back there.” 

“You got it. Where are you now?”

“We’re at some petrol station, I’m not giving you a location just in case. I’m trying to figure out where to go from here.”

Kili was silent on the other end. 

“Kili?”

“I’m thinking!” 

Another minute had passed and Fili still couldn’t come up with anywhere reasonable to go, but Kili soon broke their silence. 

“I got it! The cabin!”

“The cabin?” Fili repeated, a bit taken aback.

“Yes! I mean, none of us have been there for years aside from Uncle Thorin and Bilbo, and no one else knows about it. It’s remote and you can’t find it on any map. It’s perfect.”

“And far.”

“Yes, but far away from people who are trying to kill your girlfriend.”

Fili ignored that comment and thought over the suggestion instead. It just might work. 

Kili was referring to the Durin family cabin. The same cabin they hadn’t been to ever since their father died. Fili knew going back there would bring back the memories and feelings he worked so hard to bury deep inside of him, but right now it seemed like their only option. 

“Okay. Good thinking. We need to get going if we’re to make it before it’s too dark. I’m leaving it up to you to fill Uncle in and please don’t forget to warn Nori!”

“I won’t, don’t worry! Everything will be fine, brother. Be safe and I’ll see if we can maybe send Dwalin down with supplies soon.”

“Thanks Kee,” Fili slammed the phone down and exhaled deeply, hoping this would all turn out okay. 

Now to break it to Lucy that she’d be sat on the bike for the rest of the day. 

He could see her through the window, chatting and smiling to the older gentleman behind the counter while looking over the options of crisp flavours. Although she had a smile on her face, he could tell by her body language how terrified she still was. 

A few minutes later, Lucy walked out as Fili finished fueling up the bike. He had his sunglasses on and it almost seemed like nothing had happened. How could he stay so calm while she couldn’t stop trembling, Lucy wondered. 

“So now what?” she asked quietly, looking down the road and Fili figured she was keeping an eye out for the person who tried to shoot them. 

“Now we are going to my family’s cabin.”

She simply nodded and pushed the dirt around with her foot as she thought, her brows furrowed. “How far is it?”

“It’s a long drive, but right now it’s our only option,” he looked at her intently, sensing she still didn’t quite know what to make of the situation. “Luce, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” she answered quickly. A lie. 

“Okay.” Fíli decided not to pry any further, she’ll break down eventually and he would be there for her when that happens. It may sound harsh to simply skip over her emotions right now, but they really needed to get a move on. “We need to get going then, it’s going to take us the rest of the day to get there.”

Lucy’s head whipped up in surprise at this, and all Fili could do was shrug and give her a playful smile. “You might like the bike by the end of it.”

“I somehow doubt that.”

He took a few tissues from the dispenser on the side of the pump and cleaned his hands.

“Did they have much of a selection of food in there? We should bring some stuff with us since supplies won’t be coming for a couple of days,” Fili explained.

“Not really, just the usual convenience junk.”

“Well, it’ll have to do. Come on, let’s go make some poor choices.” 

Fili held his hand out for her to take and walked into the store with her. The friendly clerk greeted them warmly and it made Fili hope that one day Lucy would be able to walk freely anywhere she pleased without the worry of having to look over her shoulder. 

She was right though, the selection of food was pretty slim. They stood together before the rack of crisps and display of various chocolate bars and cookies as Fili took off his sunglasses and scratched his head. His stomach was growling, he hadn’t eaten anything since dinner the night before and looking at what was in front of him he knew he would barely get by. Lucy on the other hand was happily filling her arms with various snacks. She reached for a pack of oatmeal raisin cookies and Fili scoffed. 

“Really? You like those?”

“What? These?” she questioned, holding up the bag to confirm.

“Yes, they’re horrible. I mean… Raisins? Come on, at least try to be a real cookie and have chocolate chips.”

“I’m sorry, have you actually tried them before? Because they’re the best,” she gave him a small smile before continuing, “I’ll prove you wrong. You’ll love them by the time I’m through,” and she added 3 more packages to her stash. 

They stepped up to the counter to pay, and Lucy carried on another conversation with the shop owner. Fíli was still holding on to her hand, hoping it would give her some kind of comfort. It seemed to work, looking like she was distracted from reality for the moment and Fili was happy about it.

Until a man walked through the door and eyed them suspiciously. Lucy had stopped speaking mid-sentence and swallowed hard.

“Let’s go,” Fili said, placing his hand on the small of her back and guiding her out of the store while keeping tabs on the man who he didn’t think had anything to do with their situation, but he could never be too careful. 

*

“Come on, Jasmine, you know you want to,” Kili drawled to the receptionist for the umpteenth time that week, trying to convince her to give in and go on a date with him as he leaned against her desk and gave her his undeniable grin. 

“Kíli, I can’t,” the blonde receptionist pouted. “I can lose my job if I go out with you.”

His grin grew even wider if that was possible and he wiggled his eyebrows at her. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while…”

This was the first receptionist to refuse his advances and he honestly didn’t know how to feel about that. When she started a few weeks ago she acted like everyone else did, flirty and giddy, but not anymore…weird. So he continued to give her puppy eyes and his best attempts at persuading her, but was interrupted by Thorin. 

“Kili.” 

He nearly jumped out of his skin, not having heard his uncle approach from the front door behind him. 

“Christ’s sake, Uncle!” Kíli gasped, clutching his chest while Jasmine hurried across the counter to deliver the morning mail to Thorin. He quickly went through it before he locked eyes with Kíli again, who was still casually leaning against Jasmine’s desk. 

“What are you doing? Don’t you have reports to finish?”

“Uh, yes, I was just about to make an update on Fíli’s case actually. He called me about 30 minutes ago.”

“About what? Did he get to the safe house without any issues?”

“Not exactly. Someone was waiting for them when they arrived and opened fire. So they had to relocate. I called Nori to tell him so don’t start panicking, everyone is fine!”

Thorin sighed and ran a hand over his eyes. Leave it to Kíli to deliver such bad news in the most nonchalant of ways. 

“And I came up with the wonderful suggestion of having them go to our cabin instead!” Kili continued proudly, still pleased with his quick thinking of what would undoubtedly be the safest option for them. 

“Kili! Enough!” Thorin hissed, grabbing his arm and dragging him away from the main lobby toward the elevators. “You need to be careful with what you say in front of others.”

“Oh come on! It’s just Jasmine. She’s not paying attention to any of that. She’s only interested in getting in my pants.”

Thorin rolled his eyes. “Yes, we all saw how well that went. Let’s go to my office and then you can repeat everything Fíli told you.”

“Hey, it’s me,” Jasmine said quietly into her phone from her desk. Kili and Thorin had just left the lobby after discussing details of the case, and she thought they would like to know of EPIC’s next plan of action. “I just overheard that they’re headed to some kind of cabin. I’m trying to find the exact location, I’ll let you know as soon as I have it. I don’t think you’ll have any issues taking him out there.” 

“Perfect. I hope you’re doing a better job than Bolg did, he let them get away this morning. It seems like we’re underestimating the little soldier. Maybe it’s time that I go after her myself.” 

*

The drive to the cabin took far longer than expected due to Fili constantly changing up his route in order to confuse any potential followers, which meant they also had to make a few fuel stops. 

It was getting dark, and he knew Lucy was exhausted by the limp way she was now holding onto him versus her usual tight grip. 

The driveway leading to the cabin never looked so inviting as it did today when Fili finally spotted it between the trees. 

Even though it had been years and years since Fíli visited, everything felt as familiar as if he was here just last week. 

From the narrow driveway hidden between the bushes with the crooked mailbox that definitely had seen better days, to the swing he and his brother broke when they were little that somehow never got fixed. He got the same excited jitters in his stomach as he always did when he spotted the cabin by the lake, although now the feeling was mixed with grief and melancholy. 

Fìli parked the bike underneath the carport, more than content to have finally arrived. He shook out his hands once he shut off the bike, the vibrations from the handlebars still radiating through them and up his arms. He was sore. 

Lucy took her helmet off and looked around them. It seemed peaceful and undisturbed. She hadn’t noticed another house or cabin for a few kilometers either, which meant they were completely secluded. 

And also away from any help if they weren’t safe. 

She carefully dismounted the bike, her legs feeling like jelly and her butt completely numb. 

“This seems nice,” she said, noticing Fili wasn’t speaking yet. 

“Yeah, it is,” he replied softly, and she didn’t miss the crack in his voice, which made her wonder what this place meant to him. 

“I need to check the perimeter and inside before you go in. Stay here, okay?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Lucy agreed, seeing a weariness in his eyes for the first time since he arrived at her door. 

She stayed beside the bike as promised, stretching her limbs slightly as she waited. It was getting cold and considering the late hour, it was also difficult to see her surroundings in the heavily wooded area. 

Her thoughts began to get the best of her, and each time she heard a bird call out or the branches and leaves rustling around her, she felt herself getting more and more anxious by the second and panic started to slowly take hold of her. 

Normally Lucy would find peace in a place like this, admiring the beauty that nature was offering her, but now she couldn’t help but think of someone hiding and waiting to make their move to hurt her. Every sound she heard was a possible threat and she expected someone to jump out at any moment. 

Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself and tears pricked her eyes. Her breathing quickened and although she knew she had to remain calm, she couldn’t help letting her body take over. Would she ever feel safe again? 

By the time Fili returned she was shaking and fully sobbing, barely keeping herself on her feet. 

“Lucy!” he panicked, running over to her and gripping her shoulders. He ducked his head to meet his eyes with hers, trying to figure out what was wrong. 

“I’m sorry, I’m fine,” she lied again and rubbed her trembling hands across her cheeks to make the streaks disappear. 

Her emotions finally caught up with her, Fíli realised. She was stronger than he gave her credit for, he’d expected her to break down at the petrol station. 

“I know you’re not fine, Luce. And that’s okay… Hey, look at me-,” he instructed when she averted her eyes from his once more, placing his hand on her chin to turn her head back toward him, “Look at me. I promise you’re safe, okay?”

She nodded in agreement and leaned slightly into his touch when he brushed his thumb over her cheek to remove another fallen tear. 

“I’m never going to let anything happen to you.” 

Somehow his words made her continue to cry, and he pulled her into a hug, knowing the full extent of the terror she was experiencing. “It’s okay. Just breathe,” he soothed her, gently rubbing her back until the sobs died down.

“Come on, let’s get you inside.” 

Fili pulled away from her and turned to walk toward the illuminated cabin, halting when he didn’t hear or feel Lucy following him. 

She stood there frozen, seemingly unable to move, and it prompted him to intuitively scoop her up in his aching arms and carry her inside like he’d done so many times before.

The door creaked as he pushed it open with his shoulder and Fíli made his way over to the bed standing in the corner of the cabin. He placed her down gently and sat beside her, rubbing his hand over his face. He was exhausted, but knew he would be awake all night to be sure they weren’t in any more danger.

“Fíli?” He met her equally tired eyes when she called his name. “Are you okay?” Lucy asked him this time, her voice strained from crying. 

He sighed, the weight of the situation and being in this cabin starting to get to him slightly. 

“I’m fine,” he glanced over at her and gave her a weak smile, patting her arm as he stood, “Get some rest, Luce.”

*

He didn’t think he would ever return here. 

Fíli was lying on the old, brown leather couch, unable to fall asleep. Not that he was supposed to, he was determined to keep an eye on Lucy, but if he was asleep, he wouldn’t have to think about the reason why he stayed away for all these years.

Everything in the cabin reminded him of his father. Of happier times. Thorin and Bilbo made some adjustments over the years, they got rid of some furniture and did some redecorating but it didn’t matter. It still felt the same.

He could see his younger self playing with his brother in front of the fireplace, his dad telling them scary stories which Fíli knew could never happen but kept him awake at night anyway. 

How he promised his dad to always watch over Kíli, no matter what. He remembered how serious his father had been about family, how everyone looked out for each other. And Fíli kept his promise, looking out for both his mom and little brother. He wondered if his dad would be proud… Or disappointed that he followed in his footsteps and joined the army.

The longer he thought about it, more and more memories came rushing back, making his head spin and his chest ache. With a grunt he sat up, his arms still sore from the long drive and the adrenaline leaving his body, and he looked over at Lucy’s huddled form, trying his best to focus on her. 

She was safe. He kept his promise to her. 

But they got too damn close. The fact that neither of them got hurt during the shooting wasn’t because of his fast reflexes or his great driving skills, it was mostly because of luck. And since when did he count on being lucky? 

He prided himself on taking everything into account while on the job. On every mission, every stake-out, he considered everything. There were no surprises, always a plan B and a safe way out. 

So what the hell was going on with him now? 

It wasn’t his fault the gunman was waiting for them, he knew that. But he blamed himself for letting them get compromised at Lucy’s place. 

He should’ve been more careful, more strict with Lucy who was taking his rules too lightly at the time. 

Was he letting his emotions take over? This was exactly the sort of mistake that got you in trouble or worse. It became his father’s downfall and he swore he wouldn’t make the same mistake. He won’t make the same mistakes.

He let his head rest in his hands for a few moments before he got up to do another check on the windows. 

“Fili?” Lucy quietly called out from the bed, having heard him walking through the small cabin. 

“Mm?” he hummed from where he was ensuring the locks were secure on a window on the other side of the room. She should’ve been asleep long ago.

“I can’t sleep,” she paused, and he could sense her hesitation through the dark, “I’m scared.”

There it was. It didn’t surprise him. She should be scared after everything that happened today. He just didn’t know what else he could do about it.

“Would you mind lying with me?”

Oh. 

He rubbed the itchy stubble on his face, thinking how this could possibly cross a line in them having a professional relationship versus something more. A few minutes ago he had sworn not to make the same mistakes as his father and here he was genuinely considering doing what she asked him. 

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Lucy stammered with embarrassment, bringing him out of his thoughts. 

He crossed the room to the bed, and without saying a word he climbed in beside her, opening his arms for her to rest her body in. He let go of the breath he’d been unknowingly holding and allowed his hands to relax against her back.

“Thank you,” she mumbled against his chest and within minutes she was sound asleep. 

Fili lay in the bed he had countless times before as a child, snuggled up beside Kili to keep warm on cold nights like this, only this time it was with Lucy. 

The exhaustion he felt was crippling, and he was fighting to stay awake. He could only remember a handful of times he had to force himself to not give in to the temptation of sleep, his eyelids heavy and his body warm from the weight of her against him almost forcing him to succumb. 

Instead of surrendering to sleep, he went over  the events of the day again. How could this innocent and kind-hearted woman who dreamt softly in his arms be the target of such horrible violence? Fili found himself no longer thinking of her as his task, his client to protect and defend. Of course she still was, but during these past weeks she became so much more to him. Someone tangible instead of statistics on a piece of paper, someone with real feelings and emotions whose life was being ripped apart before her eyes because of something she had nothing to do with. 

Lucy let out a contented sigh in her sleep and Fíli had to resist the urge to pull her even closer to his chest. That would definitely be crossing a line. 

He remembered how he felt when he thought she was injured after the shooting. It was a feeling he didn’t understand. Of course it was normal for him to feel worried, he was supposed to protect her, keep her safe, so if she had turned out to be shot, that would mean he failed his mission. 

But it hadn’t been just fears about failing a mission… he was afraid for her. 

He didn’t want anything to happen to her, not because it was his job, but because he didn’t want anything to happen to her. To Lucy. 

And that was new to him.

Maybe he’d spent too much time with her? How long has it been, a few weeks? They were getting used to each other, getting comfortable even. It would certainly explain why he felt differently towards her now. 

They were starting to become more like actual roommates. Maybe he had let his emotions take over...

But right now he didn’t need to worry about her. She was safe.

Freed from the sleazeball called Chad. Far away from the cartel and from any danger. Far away from the outside world even. She was safe, with him.

Those thoughts turned out to be enough to let him lose the battle against sleep and Fili closed his eyes.  She was safe.

A/N: Let’s hope the cabin will be a lot safer for Lucy so they can have some peace and quiet!

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[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

#64 Being a sneaky, former burglar, Nori needs Bilbo to do some spy work for him.

(i just love Nori, and wish we had more blustering Bilbo and notorious Nori in-cahoots moments) (#78 was a close runner up for my ask! Hibernating Hobbits has my mind running wild! Too flipping cute and perfect!)

First off...THANK YOU FOR JOINING MY LITTLE BLOG! Secondly, I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I got asks within seconds of each other so I tried to answer them in order, just didn't expect it to take this long. 😅 But I also love Bilbo and Nori tag teams. This didn't quite go that way...but I hope you enjoy it all the same. 😉

Nori Needs a Burglar

Rating: T

Warnings: N/A

Words: 5007

Bilbo loved his husband dearly, but Thorin was not a people person. The dwarf could rally his troops to action, he could give inspiring speeches that moved you in ways you never expected, but ask him to ‘interact with the people’ and he was worse than a tween with a flower and a crush. So part of Bilbo’s more prominent duties as Consort, was to go down to the Markets once a week, and talk policy with the ‘common dwarf’. Honestly, it was no hardship for Bilbo. He was able to complete his shopping and most of the time, get a pleasant conversation out of the effort. The mountain adored Thorin, and it did Bilbo’s heart good to know after all the struggles both before and during the quest, it resulted in this.

Bilbo was finishing up a conversation with Demik on his wonderfully crafted throw rugs and the best way to remove wine stains from wool when he felt someone sidle up behind him. Pleasantly surprised, Bilbo spun around only to fall in disappointment.

“Oh. Hello, Nori.” 

“I’m going to pretend like that didn’t hurt, my dear Consort.” Nori mocked putting his hands over his heart in a rather dramatic fashion.

Bilbo didn’t even spare him a glance as he thanked Demik, and carried on with his shopping.

“And how is my favorite hobbit doing on this glorious day?”

“What do you want?” Bilbo demanded.

“Alright, now I am getting just a touch offended. Just what have I done to you?”

“Oh, I don’t know. There was the fake assassination last week…”

“Just trying to keep you on your toes.”

“Nicking my crown three days ago that sent me on a wild goose chase through the mountain?”

“Well…”

“Oh! What about ‘quick Bilbo, the mountain is on fire’? That was yesterday morning.”

The sly dwarf merely smirked at him, his eyes full of mischief. 

“You’ve got to admit. That was funny. Everything in here is stone. Just where is the fire going to go?”

“So no, I’m not in the mood to play whatever game you have concocted today. You’ve been worse than my nephews lately. All three of them, mind you.”

“Okay, but this time…I really need your help with something.”

Bilbo had half a mind to tell his guards to arrest the dwarf. Surely Thorin would be able to survive a few days without his spymaster. However, before Bilbo could state plainly ‘no’ for the second time, Nori had yanked Bilbo into a quiet corner between two buildings. The hobbit grumbled at the rough-handling as he smoothed out his jacket and straightened his crown.

“What?” He demanded, ire dripping into the syllable.

“Look, I know I’ve been playing with you lately, but this is serious. I think someone is stealing from the treasury.”

Any irritation the hobbit felt melted away at the seriousness of the accusation.

“Oh! Well yes, that would be a rather large problem. Do you have any suspects? How do you know?”

“Gloin said there was something off with the books. Right now it’s maybe under two percent. But you know the size of it. They still haven’t gotten it all completely organized, it could easily be much larger than that.”

Bilbo nodded. “Yes, of course. Have you informed Thorin yet?”

Nori winced at this. “I still don’t know how or why they are doing it, and since I can’t rule out goldsickness…”

Bilbo pressed a hand to his chin. He could see Nori’s point. He certainly didn’t believe his husband was in any way capable of succumbing to that terrible disease again, but Thorin would definitely be likely to fly off the handle if such a thing came to light. 

“I thought maybe…since you were our dear Burglar, you might…poke around. See what you can find out.”

Bilbo looked up in shock trying to gauge the dwarf’s seriousness. 

“You want me to spy for you?”

“Don’t think of it like spying.” Nori scoffed. “More like…solving a mystery…in a very quiet and secretive way.”

“And you don’t have your own people to do this?” Bilbo groaned.

“They aren’t familiar with the layout.” Nori shrugged.

“Oh because they didn’t riddle with a dragon, years ago, I might add.”

“I’m just asking you to take a look.”

Bilbo heaved a large sigh before making the mistake of looking back at the earnest expression on the former thief's face.

“Fine. I will look into it.”

Bilbo watched the ginger haired dwarf leave with a smirk and a quick word of thanks, all the while wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into.

***

He figured his first course of action would be to talk to Gloin about the incident personally and get the facts from him. However, when he arrived at the accountants’ office, Gloin was nowhere to be found.

“You’re more than welcome to his books, Your Highness.” Gloin’s assistant, Matum, offered. “They should be in the filing cabinet behind his desk.

Bilbo thanked the dam, stepping inside the rather bland room. He found the books easily enough, and it was only from his years of managing the properties of Bagshot Row that he knew what to look for. He started about four months ago, and worked his way to the present. Sure enough, about six weeks ago, there was a rather noticeable drop. Not enough to be brought to anyone’s attention, but definitely worth questioning. How odd indeed. 

Bilbo thought about it from the perspective of someone trying to steal from the treasury. He was certain they wouldn’t want it to be obvious. Perhaps even come back for more if they were able to get away with it without a problem the first time. Continuing to scan the books, he saw there was in fact another loss almost two weeks ago. Well, there was nothing for it. He was going to have to find out how they were getting in.

Bilbo’s next stop was the treasury itself. He needed to see if there were any other ways to get in and out other than the entrances with guards currently posted. He was given a nod as he entered the golden lit room. He didn’t normally make a habit of returning to the treasury. Too many unpleasant memories, but he did find himself relatively impressed with the organization that has gone into the room. Rather than giant mountains of gold and jewels, everything had been sorted into boxes and chests that were stacked along the outside edges, giving plenty of room for Bilbo to walk on blessed, solid stone. However, as he started to meander deeper into the treasury, he noticed that the ‘boxing’ was less obvious and there were still substantial hills of coin swept aside to be counted later. Nori’s concern of them potentially losing more than what was documented definitely made more sense. Yet, why steal anything that would have been charted at all if that were the case? Bilbo wished he had paid closer attention to the descriptions in Gloin’s books and not just the numbers.

For a moment, Bilbo let himself be transported back in time to darker days where the rest of the Company sifted through coins all day long as they searched for the single object of Thorin’s desire. The Consort shivered at that particular uncomfortable memory, but it seemed to make perfect sense to him. The thieves were after something in particular. Not just looking to get rich where they could. Well, he wouldn’t be able to find out what without checking Gloin’s books again, and honestly had enough to be able to report to Nori. He definitely couldn’t rule out goldsickness, but Nori would at least know where to go from here with his investigation. 

Satisfied, he was just beginning to turn back, when he felt himself trip on something decidedly not a gold coin. Picking the silver cylinder up, he turned it over seeing the crown and stars mold on the end. It was a coin stamp! A rather old stamp by the look of it. Each king had a new one commissioned during their reign, but Bilbo assumed from his lessons with Ori that this particular stamp had to have Khazad-dûm origins. What a unique find! Bilbo had just stuffed it away in his inner pockets when there was a soft ‘thud’, followed by a mumbled curse.

“Hello?” Bilbo called out not thinking.

Silence answered. Goosebumps raised on the back of his arms, and Bilbo found himself seeking the comfort of his little ring. He slipped it on before he could quite justify his actions which seemed to be just in time as two unfamiliar dwarves came out from behind the hill of gold.

“Doesn’t look like anyone’s here.” The taller one with the longer beard grimaced, his features distorted just slightly by the grayscale of the ring’s world.

“I swore I heard someone.” The shorter dwarf mumbled.

“They don’t let just one person down in the treasury anymore. Not on account of the king’s former sickness.”

“They let the Consort.”

“What’s the Consort going to be doing here at this time of day? ‘Specially with the Company thing happening today.”

“Right…” The shorter dwarf agreed, still looking far from reassured.

“Now come on. Before we’ve got Forlen on our case wondering ‘what took so long’.”

Bilbo filed away the ‘Company thing’ that he clearly should know about, and began to follow them. He could summon the guards and have these two arrested right here, but there was at least a third, and if he was lucky with his little ring, maybe he could find their hiding spot! Bilbo had to follow at a distance as the ‘clink’ of the loose coins threatened to give him away to the criminals. They headed over to the wall that Bilbo was pretty sure contained…relics? Heirlooms? Something to that effect, Bilbo was sure. Using a rather clever lift system, one of them was able to hold up the boxes with two prongs and the mountain’s rock, while the other shifted the bottom box out from underneath. Then the precariously balanced stack was carefully lowered back to the ground. The higher boxes wavered with the new dynamic, but did not fall. Quite clever indeed.

Each of the thieves hefting an end, they started to walk, not back towards any of the entrances, but towards Bilbo. Despite knowing they couldn’t see him, Bilbo hid around a stack of boxes anyways. They marched past him back towards the endless pile of coins. Bilbo resisted the urge to sigh heavily before following them. Once again, he was having to maintain his distance so a third set of footfalls shifting the coins was not heard. However, Bilbo was floored when they suddenly vanished. He gave it a few minutes, made sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him, and then immediately rushed to the spot. The hobbit scratched the top of his head walking along the bank of gold as he tried to puzzle it out. Perhaps the dwarves also had a magic ring of sorts? Just when Bilbo was about to give up and return to his earlier plan, he stepped in a place where the ground suddenly gave out from beneath him, and with a yelp he found himself sliding into a crevice dug into the floor of the treasury.

Bilbo landed hard on his bottom on a rather large pile of golden coins in the center of what appeared to be some sort of outdated meeting room. He looked back upwards to make out the smooth hidden stairs carved next to the large crevice and wondered just how long this room had been here. Did Thorin even know about it? Bilbo heard a gasp and spun around to see a red haired dwarf, whom he recognized as the shorter one of the duo, staring right at him. Dread filled him as he looked down at his finger to see that his magic ring slipped off in the fall. His eyes immediately left the thief as it scanned the ground desperately. There! He pounced on the ring, slipping it on just as the second dwarf was called in.

“What the…?!”

Bilbo pressed himself up against the wall as far as he could as the two charged to the spot where he had just vanished. 

“The Consort! The Consort was here!” The red headed dwarf stammered.

“Where did he go?! How did he disappear like that?” The taller of the duo demanded.

“Maybe he’s a ghost!”

“If he’s a ghost, how can he be married to the King?! No, this is some sort of…hobbit magic, this is. I bet he’s still in this room! We just gotta find him.”

Bilbo held his breath as he slowly started to inch past them towards the doorway. He used his mental map of Erebor, trying to pinpoint exactly where he was with little success. Below the treasury…what was below the treasury besides mining tunnels and offices? The main thing was to just get out. Surely, he would be able to figure it out from there. Bilbo was almost out of the room, when a third dwarf entered, nearly bowing Bilbo over in the process as the hobbit scrambled back against the wall.

“Just what is going on here?” 

Bilbo paused. He knew that voice. How did he know that voice? He wished the magic of the ring didn’t wash everything out so he could see distinguishing features. 

“We saw the Consort!” The first dwarf explained. “There! And then ‘poof’ he disappeared before our eyes.”

The third dwarf narrowed his eyes, scanning the area as if he could make Bilbo materialize with just a look.

“What is it, Forlen?” A voice grunted from the second room.

“Nothing, Nadad (Brother).” He finally decided, ordering the two from earlier to get back to work.

Bilbo could only follow, though, with his jaw dropped open. He finally realized why the dwarf seemed familiar, and following him down the hallway into the other room sealed it for Bilbo. Nallen, a member of the mining council, was seated on a tattered couch as he sifted through the stolen box. Bilbo had never really had a great repertoire with the dwarf. Apparently, his family were the former Chief Foremans, and he had thought it was a position he would inherit as well until Thorin gave the position to Bofur. He had made his disdain of that choice, and the current direction of Erebor, quite clear. 

So Nallen and his brother, Forlen, were the heads of this operation. Just what was the operation though? In any case, this was certainly more than enough to take back to Nori. 

“What was the problem?” Nallen asked.

“The idiots thought they had seen the King’s Consort.” Forlen snorted, returning to his spot beside him.

Nallen stopped, giving his brother a sharp look. “Did they?”

Forlen shrugged seemingly unbothered. “If they did, he’s gone now.”

Nallen slammed his fists down on the table making everything jump, including Bilbo himself.

“Thorin can’t know what we’re trying to find down here. If there’s even a small chance that the hobbit was here, he can’t be allowed to leave.”

“What are you asking of me? Kidnap and kill the Consort?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

Cold seemed straight into Bilbo’s bones, and that more than settled it for him. It was time to get out! There was a door on the other side of the room. That had to be the way out. He slowly started to sneak his way there, when the two dwarves from early burst into the room, leaving Bilbo scrambling out of the way once more.

“He’s not back in the treasury!” The shorter one complained. “Maybe he can just ‘pop’ in and out of places, like magic.”

“No! He has to be here somewhere!” Nallen growled. “I refuse to believe we’ve lost all this progress because that nosy little weasel has the uncanny ability of showing up where he’s not wanted.”

Bilbo could feel his face growing hot. Weasel! He’ll show that clot-head. 

“What progress?” The taller of the grunts snorted.

“It’s got to surface soon! And the moment it does, we will have complete control of the crown’s coin…”

Bilbo walked over to the door, opened it slowly so that way it caught every dwarven eye. Only he realized belatedly that he wished he had been a bit slower as Nallen’s sentence tapered off.

“THERE HE GOES! After him!” Forlen roared.

Bilbo stood back watching the four of them sprint by him with weapons drawn. Well, that was easy enough. Once he was in the clear, he stepped out of the room to follow. The small hiccup being they were long gone, and Bilbo still wasn’t completely sure where he was. The hobbit heaved a sigh before deciding to head in the general “up” direction. Crystal lamps hung every twenty feet so at least it wasn’t a completely abandoned tunnel. Hopefully, he would run into a dwarf sooner or later, and even more so, hopefully it wasn’t one of his pursuers. Bilbo passed doorway after doorway, not sure if he should try one of them or even if he was still going straight at all. He had been known to get stuck in circles in the mountain in his early years. He had to believe he was well past that now.

Muttering sounded from behind him, and he froze before quickly ducking away into a shadowy corner. 

“Distract my hobbit, quit irritating my hobbit, go and fetch my hobbit. I might as well be his nursemaid instead of Spymaster.”

“Nori!” Bilbo shouted as he pulled off his ring.

He had to say, he derived a small amount of satisfaction watching the sneaky dwarf jump and draw his knife. Seeing it was only Bilbo, Nori rolled his eyes, muttering curses under his breath. 

“And where exactly have you been?” He demanded.

Bilbo furrowed his brows. “Investigating. Like you asked me.”

“It shouldn’t have taken you that long though.” Nori complained.

Bilbo crossed his arms, more than just a touch offended. “Well pardon me. Next time, I leave finding Nallen and his cohorts to you seeing as you’re so much better than me. Honestly, why even ask me in the first place if you’re just going to…”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.” Nori interrupted, waving his hands. “Nallen? What’s he have to do with anything?”

“He’s your thief.” Bilbo explained. “Well, one of them anyways. His brother and what I’m assuming are two hired hands are also in on it. They have a secret room underneath the treasury and everything.”

Nori’s eyes seemed to get wider and wider, when they both perked up at the sound of approaching bootsteps. 

“That’s probably them.” Bilbo muttered. “Forgot to mention that they are currently hunting for me, and don’t seem too opposed to regicide.”

Nori gave Bilbo an incredulous look while shaking his head. 

“Only you. Alright, this way. Quickly now.”

Bilbo didn’t have much time, or reason really, to protest before Nori was leading him back down the hallway to knock on the first door on the left. Assuming this had to be one of Nori’s secret spy rooms, he didn’t really know what to expect. Dwalin opening the door to reveal all of his friends and family certainly was the furthest thing from his mind. 

“I stand corrected. That was fast.” The burly dwarf smirked as the rest of the room shouted.

“SURPRISE!”

Bilbo’s jaw dropped as he tried to work out what exactly was happening. 

“What? I…what?”

“I told you he wouldn’t know how to handle it.” Frodo remarked cheekily as Fili and Kili snickered in agreement.

“We wanted to surprise you.” Thorin answered proudly.

Bilbo went blank as he tried to remember just what anniversary or dwarvish holiday he was forgetting.

“Surprise me…why?” He finally had to ask.

“With Bilbo Day!” Frodo exclaimed enthusiastically.

“You rarely allow us to make any sort of fuss over you.” Dis inserted as if this were some sort of grave insult.

“No presents on your birthday, no presents on your wedding anniversary, and let’s not even mention the Yule fiasco!” Bofur listed off.

“So we decided to celebrate the first day we met!” Dori took over. “You know, when we burst into your smial and ate all your larder as you seem so apt to remind us.”

Bilbo found himself too overwhelmed to say anything. It was just so…kind. Everything else seemed to leave his mind in the wake of such a gift. 

“Oh well, I don’t know what to say. Truly. I suppose…”

“Yeah, yeah. Save it for when we don’t have dwarves trying to kill you.” Nori interrupted.

The entire room went completely silent, and Bilbo found himself embarrassed with the dwarf’s outburst for no good reason other than it ruined the merry atmosphere. His eyes lingered on the colorful decorations, gifts, and cake before he hefted a sigh.

“Fine. Let’s go take care of the scoundrels first.”

“Bilbo…Ghivashel (treasure of all treasures)...what is going on?” Thorin questioned, his face a thunderstorm of emotions.

“What did you do?” Dwalin demanded of Nori, pulling out his axe.

“It’s not my fault the hobbit is an accident magnet.” Nori grumbled.

“I found the thieves.” Bilbo explained.

Everyone’s answering silence reminded Bilbo that Nori had asked him to complete this task in secret, and therefore they were unaware of the events that would have led to this point.

“Nori asked me to investigate the discrepancy in the books.” Bilbo explained, nodding at Gloin.

The red headed dwarf laughed. “Oh lad, Nori came up with that scheme to distract you. We both decided ages ago that it probably wasn’t anything more than a miscalculation.”

Bilbo’s brows furrowed as his mouth twisted into a scowl and he turned to the spy for an answer. The red head answered with one of his own before announcing his mistake for everyone with much reluctance.

“Turns out, it was actually Nallen.”

“Nallen?” Balin gasped. “But what does he want with gold?”

“It’s not gold.” Bilbo stepped in at that point. “There’s something specific he and his brother are looking for. I wasn’t able to find out what exactly, but they have a secret room with direct access to the treasury and…”

“Hold on just a moment.” Thorin demanded with his hand held up and eyes pinched shut. “Just so I have this straight, you, Nori, my Spymaster, sent my Consort to do your dirty work on a raid of the Treasury, that I didn’t even know about.”

“It didn’t look like a big deal!...On paper, at least.” He tried to defend.

“And it’s a former member of my council who wants Bilbo dead?”

“To be fair on the last point, it’s only because they saw me. I don’t think murdering me was on his original checklist.” Bilbo defended.

Thorin looked pained before groaning and pulling Orcist from his belt. 

“Very well. Lead the way.”

“Yes!” Gimli cheered, axe in hand. “Let me at these villains, I’m more than up to the task!”

“Now hang on there, son. Just how many are we talking here, Bilbo?” Gloin questioned.

“Oh. There’s only four.” He shrugged.

There seemed to be a release of tension in the room as everyone shared quiet smirks and laughs.

“Alright then, let’s show these guys exactly how we feel about those who mess with our hobbit.” Bofur declared only to be met with a round of cheers.

“Lead the way, Uncle Bilbo.” Kili encouraged.

Bilbo tried not to fidget. 

“I…don’t really know the way.”

“You didn’t mark the door?” Nori sighed in exasperation.

“I don’t think you have room to talk right now.” Bilbo snapped. “It’s directly under the back end of the treasury. Where it still hasn’t been sorted.”

“Aye, but there’s miles of treasure still in there.” Gloin complained.

“Well, I didn’t walk for miles.” Bilbo retorted.

“That does narrow it down a bit.” Bofur chuckled. “But I know there are three distinct branches down there.”

“Then we split up. Dwalin, Nori, Balin, and Gloin with Bilbo and I. Bofur take another group, and Bifur the last.” Thorin directed.

“Aye, I’ll take the youngins. Try to keep them out of trouble.” Bofur announced.

Bilbo wasn’t too keen on his youngest nephew going on a hunt for dangerous criminals, but he knew Fili and Kili were overly protective of Frodo. They would make sure he didn’t get hurt. Instead, he tried to focus on leading his group back the way he came. Dwalin seemed especially smug towards Nori for not realizing that the treasury problem was an actual problem which made it hard for Bilbo’s hobbit ears to pick up on any distinguishing sounds. A hand ghosted across his arm, and Bilbo immediately turned his head to see Thorin’s concerned face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his brows pinched together.

“Fine!” Bilbo answered reflexively before amending his statement. “A bit overwhelmed to be honest. I really just thought I was helping Nori out by doing a bit of investigating. I never dreamt I’d actually find anyone! And this whole party business has me all out of sorts!”

Thorin chuckled fondly as he gently squeezed Bilbo’s hand. “Only you would treat a party in your honor as a worse offense than being chased by criminals intent on doing you harm.”

“Well only if they caught me.” Bilbo returned cheekily.

Thorin leaned over to press a kiss to Bilbo’s curls.

“Nori is right though. You do have a knack for finding trouble.”

Bilbo scolded as he slapped Thorin's arm, pulling away from his offending husband. He didn’t get too far though before Thorin swung a large arm around Bilbo’s shoulders pulling him in close in a half-hug while whispering in his ear.

“You also have a knack for getting out of trouble again, and for that I am grateful.”

Bilbo still wore his pout. “If I have any sort of relationship with trouble, it’s all you dwarves' fault. Getting me out of my hobbit hole…I was entirely respectable and trouble-free before I met you lot.”

Thorin laughed again, always succeeding in making Bilbo feel lighter until Nori had to ruin it again.

“Flirt later! Focus on finding this room now.” 

Thorin turned back to Nori with a disapproving look.

“I don’t know if you have any room to talk after sending my Consort on a dangerous mission in the first place.”

“I didn’t know anything would actually come of it!” He tried to defend.

“It’s your job to know.” Thorin snapped back.

Nori gestured helplessly. “There wasn’t anything to know! It’s not my fault the self-proclaimed luck wearer over here can find trouble faster than I can blink. In fact, if you really want all plots against the kingdom exposed within the week, you let me hire him full time...”

“No!” Came everyone’s resonating answer.

It was then that Bilbo realized one of the doors seemed less dusty than the others. 

“I think this is it.” He determined as he peeked his head in.

Nallen and Forlen were inside gathering up as much as they could, but paused upon seeing Bilbo. A nasty grin overtook the former’s face. 

“Well if it isn’t our dear Consort. We’ve been wondering where you wandered off to. Did you get lost hobbit?”

Bilbo smirked. “No, I got back-up.”

Their faces fell as soon as he opened the door fully to reveal the dwarves behind him.

***

It was quick work to gather the other two, and Dwalin pulled out irons to slap on their wrists as Gloin and Balin took stock of the stolen goods as well as the stairs leading up to the treasury.

“Explain.” Thorin demanded.

Nallen stubbornly kept his mouth closed. Thorin turned his sights onto his cohorts. 

“Not even to lighten your sentence? Petty thievery is one thing, but threatening the life of the Consort…”

It was the shorter one with red hair that broke first. 

“It was a coin stamp, Y-Your Grace. We would never have actually hurt Consort Baggins…”

“Shut up!” Forlen hissed, but the damage had been done.

“Coin stamp?” Balin repeated in confusion. “His Majesty’s coin stamp is kept with the Master of the Coin. It wouldn’t be down in the treasury.”

“Oh!” Bilbo exclaimed, suddenly remembering the coin stamp he had stuffed away in a pocket. “Could this be what you all were looking for?”

Nallen’s face was almost purple with his spluttering. “What?! B-But you…! How did you…?”

“I found it.” Bilbo shrugged.

Gloin took it reverently. “This is the stamp of Durin VI of Khazad-dum!”

“And probably would have made quite the profit if gold coins with this stamp suddenly began to appear in Erebor.” Balin raised an eyebrow.

“That sounds like motive enough to me.” Thorin smirked. “Dwalin, why don’t you and Gloin escort our guests to the dungeons to await their trial.”

The two dwarves were more than happy to comply, especially after Nallen started to whine about it ‘not being fair’. Nori was almost flabbergasted watching the proceedings before turning to Thorin with a pleading look. The king already knew what he was thinking though and had an answer ready.

“No.” 

“He found the coin stamp of Durin VI! Just let me borrow him for one week!” Nori protested.

Thorin wrapped his hand firmly around Bilbo’s as he started to lead the hobbit away.

“Sorry, but my husband will be indisposed for the foreseeable future, and even then my hobbit.”

Nori grumbled under his breath as they left him with Balin to take stock of the hidden room. Bilbo chuckled as he leaned into Thorin, more than pleased with this situation.

“So we’re not going back to the party then?”

Thorin gave him a very specific look that successfully sent shivers of anticipation down Bilbo’s spine.

“We can just say it’s my own personal celebration of Bilbo Day.”

“Then by all means, lead the way, My King.”

[amalthea-201801]

Daiya No A - Act II Chapter 256 (Spoilers!!!): DNA turning into a 100k Slowburn Fanfic with Angst as the Main Tag

"Eijun stops rambling and stands frozen midstep of the stairs as he heard Miyuki's words."

(Miyuki then expounds his thoughts.)

(And then BAM, his real thoughts.)

“Eijun doesn't know what to think when he hears that, really. Eyes wide, as he stares at those backs he'd been chasing since the start and somehow had shorten the distance over time with blood and sweat, feels as though as it never shrunk in the first place.”

“With the clench in his chest, thoughts unable to form inside his head, words suddenly swallowed and had never had the chance to be uttered ...”

“... at last, Eijun' s body makes a move to turn around.”

(Eijun not hearing the next words being uttered.)

“Eijun sits at the bottom of the dorm's staircase, mulling over his thoughts.”

“He remembers that time at the cafeteria where Miyuki was asked about his thoughts on the pros ...

Head hanging, eyes shadowed by the darkness and this bangs, he thinks back to the time he sees Miyuki practicing hard and still tries to accomodate his requests.”

“And then ...”

“...”

🙂 😐 😔 🙁 ☹️ 😢 😭

It may have been spontaneous in Miyuki's part to tell Furuya his thoughts since he coincidentally came to him first and maybe it didn't really matter to him who he told first his true thoughts or it may been he's kinda also expecting Furuya won't really give him any serious reply (I mean in Miyuki's standards because kid's really serious just wanting to think about the present just like Eijun) and deep inside miyuki also is expecting that so it may been another reason for him to tell Furuya ..

Oh sh*t! I can't, sorry .. Like what the ..? Huh ..?

What is this ''feeling'' am I feeling ..???

But bloody hell ..

Why did Eijun have to hear it now ..

And it's being said to his number 1 rival, not that it's anybody's fault, but the timing really sucks men ..(-_-)

Like Eijun always wanted acknowledgement from Miyuki (which by the way Miyuki had long done) but to Eijun, things such as confiding about important matters such as this is how he would feel he is really acknowledged, even though it may never have occurred to him before but had been present in his subconciousness all this time ..

(These next paragraphs came from my comment in another soc.med. where I posted some of my thought when the translated chapter hasn't been released and I had painstakingly read the hiragana and katakana only but I just want to add it here)

Sawamura just came from a no-name school (in terms of baseball achievement) since he just built up the team himself together with his friends, of course for him, the thought of going pro suddenly is confusing and overwhelming since he'd always been a guy thinking of the present so he can contribute to the team and asides from being the ace, if you maybe didn't notice, he always thought about his senpais like it would be their last game if they lose so he had to do his best so he can stay together with them even just a game longer ..

Sawamura really gives importance to his teammates and friends and he really treasures the bond he forms with his current teammates ..

It's not like Sawamura had wanted him and Miyuki to be on the same page, he really just wanted Miyuki's acknowledgement and for Eijun, that acknowledgement is not something that would come from words ..

It would come from actions and this time, in his subconsciousness, that action is Miyuki talking to him especially if it's about important aspirations for the future that's why he is disappointed he just heard it and the fact that it coincidentally came from Miyuki and Furuya talking to each other, his rival pitcher at the same year and same age ..

If he just heard it from Miyuki telling Nori or Kuramochi or Zono or Nabe or any senpai of his, it wouldn't matter to him really, he would just be pondering about if he would also seek the same path of being pro ..

On the next pages wherein there's a flashback of strong pitchers and then Furuya, it's along the lines of 'and there is also this great pitcher in here' which refers to Furuya, he just somehow equates that maybe because he's still not that level yet that maybe Miyuki hadn't been able to confide in him ..

And another thing, Eijun aiming the ace number had been his goal and like a promise to himself and his friends from the start ..

It had not been his goal to be ace just because he wanted Miyuki's acknowledgement ..

it just his goals coincidentally coincides with each other, at first it was like a separate thing, wanting to fulfill his first and foremost shouted goal because of his promise to his friends and wanting Miyuki's acknowledgment ..

But as we can see, somewhere down those two paths, the end was the same ..

But in their reality, it was not ..

Because as you can see, even though Eijun already had the ace number he still didn't feel acknowledged ..

But of course, Miyuki had long acknowledged him but you know, every person's standards and level of parameters is not the same when it comes to these sentiments such as 'acknowledging' so yeah of course they won't match in that, too ..

This chapter is messing up my head like why does this have to be last chapter before the break???

Anyways, my head and heart hurts so yeah ..

See you later ..😶😶😶

P.S. TJ-sensei, the no.1 angst and romance fanfic author, please have mercy on us ..xDxDxD

[lilxberry]

His Snowdrop - Fili

Warnings: Fluff. Injury. Violence. Mentions of blood. Pregnancy. Sweet ol’ Fili. That’s pretty much it, I’m sure.

Words: 3,201

Pairings: Fili x Reader (wife!reader) (pregnant!reader)

(A/N: Reader is mute but there is dialog between you and the others during the flashback.)

Amrâlimê = My love

_______________

“Hello, my little snowdrop.”

You looked up at the use of the nickname your husband had taken to calling you ever since before you two had begun courting each other. You smiled towards Fili and set your book aside gently, raising from your position from atop the sill of the window. With no spoken words, you advanced towards your husband and laid a gentle kiss upon his cheek covered in golden hair.

As you pulled back, Fili had quickly turned his face to plant a chaste kiss to your soft, plumps lips, causing a blush to rise up your neck and adorn your cheeks. He smiled triumphantly, knowing he can still make his wife flush with a shy red after so long of marriage.

“I hope you have been well whilst I did my duties for Erebor.” He took your hand in his considerably larger one, gently running his thumb across the bare knuckles within his tender grasp. You simply nodded whilst continuing to beam up towards your love which he mirrored.

It had been no more than 5 years since the battle of the five armies and the reclaiming of The Lonely Mountain, rightful home of the exiled dwarves. You had been amongst Oakenshields’ company, finally meeting many dwarves first at the home of Bilbo. That was where you had first met Fili, one of the two young nephews of Thorin, heirs to the throne.

You had gotten along quite well with all within the company. You and Ori had a fair similar interest with art, an interest in healing you shared with Oin. Bofur and Bombur had shared your equal love of food, your skill in the hunt had bode well with Bifur. Your fearlessness and bravery along with the ability to wield your weapons well had landed you in good graces with all, especially Thorin, Dwalin and Gloin. Dori and Nori had valued your compassion, especially that towards the young one Ori. Your sense of humour and like for jesting had greatly bonded you with both Kili and Fili, the older of the young princes’ especially.

Both Bilbo and Gandalf had said they had liked you for you, no particular trait in mind. But they were not the only to like you for more than a specific trait.

All of that listed and more had drawn Fili to you, including that of beauty, but all he truly knew was that of knowing you were his One. You had began courting after a short while along your journey, Thorin, although you feared the worse, had simply agreed and spoke that you were possibly the only one fit for his nephew. You had smiled at the high standard he had viewed you at and celebrated internally before you and Fili had gathered everyone to tell of your courting.

He had braided your hair and you his after conversation and a hearty meal, clasping the braid in traditional, metallic courting beads and not far off, had wed during the companies’ travels, neither of you wanting to wait any longer to truly call each other theirs and theirs alone.

You smiled, simply remembering the simple and joyous times in-between the hardships you faced along the way to the mountain. Fili noted the smile that accompanied your usual reminiscing and stared down at you with a loving gaze. “Remember when Bombur had eaten most of the food whilst our ceremony had gone on?”

You released a silent giggle, eyes creasing at the corner as your smile widened. He somehow always knew what thoughts you were thinking. You sighed, albeit mute, as you raised your hand and caressed his cheek, running your thumb gently across the hairline of his beard.

He leant into your hand as you continued to show affection towards him. Although you had many a happy memory from your journey home, one lingered constantly within your mind which saddened you greatly, one that had taken the ability to voice your love for Fili and your appreciation for your friends away.

--- flashback ---

You walked alongside the rest of your company; hand clasped in Fili’s own tightly, slowly but surely making progress towards Erebor.

Fili had gazed down at you as you all walked, a leisurely pace, listening to the background chatter of the other dwarves. You felt his eyes upon you and the corners of your mouth upturned the slightest. “And what is it you are looking at?”

He chuckled as he heard your playful and teasing tone, but he could not bring himself to return it as he found no humour in his overbearing amount of love for you. “Just my beautiful wife.”

You clicked your tongue turned your head towards him. “I hope you’re enjoying the view greatly then.”

Kili surpassed you both whilst he heaved jokingly. “Will you too stop your soppy exchanges?! I’m gonna vomit.” Kili turned to face you both as he continued to walk backwards, a cheeky smirk across his face. “I never thought marriage would make you such a sap, brother.”

“Would you leave the pair alone boy?” Balin spoke from near the front of the group, a tinge of annoyance evident within his voice. You giggled at the elder dwarfs’ scolding of the young prince.

“Thank you, Master Balin.” You conveyed your gratitude of his stepping in.

He sent you a smile over his shoulder. “No problem lass. I think it’s wonderful that yet another good thing to come of this journey.”

You turned to smile at Fili, who you found to be already looking at you with a smile etched across his handsome face. You opened your mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by the loud patter of the Wargs’ paws at the treeline behind.

You all quickly turned to see a pack of orcs, Bolg amongst them. Slight panic overtook the group at the sight. “Run you fools!” Gandalf yelled at the group before you all took off at a speed you’d never think possible for a group of dwarves, a hobbit, an old wizard and yourself.

You heard the loud roar of Bolgs’ anger before the pounding of Wargs’ feet slam against the ground below, gradually getting louder the closer they came. They chased and chased until you ran out of room to run. You had run yourself into nothing but a closed off area with no escape in sight.

Fili had pushed you behind him as the orcs formed a semi-circle in front of the group, boxing you all in. You knew Fili would never diminish your ability to fight and this was purely out of instinct to protect his beloved. The orcs closed in, Bolg had a horrid smirk across his hideous face.

Bolg and the others dismounted their Wargs and slowly proceeded towards the group. Soon, swords, battle axes and blades clashed against each other as the fight had started almost instantaneously. You were fairing quite well by your own, already taking down orcs three times the size of you.

Bolg had noticed that you stood a bit away from the others and took advantage of your lack of surrounding allies. He quickly appeared behind your form and gripped a fistful of your hair into his large, cold hand, narrowly avoiding your courting braid and brought a large orc blade against your throat, it already digging ever so slightly into your skin, causing the smallest amount of blood to trickle from the tiniest of cuts.

The others had noticed fairly quickly, fear for you had washed over them. “Y/N!” Fili spoke. Only two emotions were painfully clear as you gazed at your husband, fear and anger. Your own weapon had dropped a distance from your body as Bolg forced you to your knees in front of his, wincing as your knees hit the hard floor below you harshly.

“Let her go!” Thorin had shouted, anger oozing from him, so much so, it nearly matched that of Fili’s but Bolg had only laughed at Thorins feeble attempt, digging the blade further into your skin.

The shine of your blade had caught your eye and you looked at it from the edge of your peripheral vision. You looked back towards the group who were switching their gaze between you and Bolg, noting that the orcs attention was focused solely on the group who stood before the both of you.

You returned your gaze back towards your blade as your arm ever so slowly reached out to your right towards the hilt of your weapon, cautious of your movements. You quickly glanced towards Fili and Kili, knowing that their eyes had settled on you alone, no alternating between you and the hideous creature behind.

Fili and Kili both shook their heads subtly but all you could do was give them a look to tell them that it was okay. You tried to get across to them that you wanted them to keep the Bolg and the orcs attention away from you as you act out your plan.

They nodded after a moment of hesitation to show they had understood and had begun to indulge Bolg in a heated back and forth argument, meaning you could continue to inch closer to the blade.

Once you were certain you were mere millimetres away from the hilt, you quickly grasped it and brought the blade towards your hair, swiftly cutting it and freeing you from Bolgs’ grip. But may have been in vain as your body twisted, forcing the blade to drag across your neck, cutting deep. You quickly clasped your hand over the large wound and swung your sword once more, slashing open Bolgs’ abdomen, eliciting a pained scream to erupt from his throat.

You quickly fell to the floor, black spots already clouding your vision as the blood rushed from your throat as fast as the white waves the rapids. Fili had yelled out your name as he hastily rushed to your side as the others had pushed forward, forcing the orcs to retreat, dragging a screaming Bolg with them.

Once sure they had left, the others had also quickly come to your aid, Oin pushing past the group to reach your side to evaluate your wounds. He ordered Fili to apply pressure on to the large, deep wound as he prepared something to block the bloods exit point and cause a clot of some sorts to slow the loss of blood.

A deep crimson red quickly engulfed Fili’s trembling hands as your head hung back, body limp and almost lifeless. “Y/N!! Stay with me, amrâlimê, stay awake!!” He pleaded with you, terrified. He felt his heart break ever second your eyes stayed closed.

Gandalf had retrieved a horse seemingly from nowhere and sat upon it. “Quickly! Hand her here!” He spoke, words rushed out towards the group. After Oin had quickly wrapped your neck the best he could, they hoisted you up atop the horse and into Gandalf’s arms. As soon as Gandalf deemed he had a secure grip on you, he rode off. “Head West and you shall find us.” He shouted as he rode away.

And with that, they began their trek West, making their way to wherever you may be as quickly as they possibly could. All Fili and the others could elf was hope and pray that you would be okay as they closed in on where you had been taken.

_______________

You had awoken and all you knew is that the light be too harsh and your throat hurt immensely. You squinted as the light pained your eyes and turned your head to your left where you had noticed your husband where he slouched over, hand grasping yours, head resting upon the bedding beside you.

You tried to make a sound, but nothing but pain erupted. It had made you scream out but once again, not a single sound was made and pain erupted throughout your being, causing you to clench your fists tightly in the hopes of elevating your pain which had caused Fili to shoot up from his hunched over position. “Y/N, what’s wrong?!” Fili asked worriedly as he looked down at you.

All you could muster was a shake of your head as tears cascaded down your face. Fili had called out for help as loud as he could whilst he gazed at you concerned. A few of the company and an unknown person had hurriedly crammed themselves through the door and into the room all the while you continued to screw your eyes shut tightly and sob in a silent manner.

“What’s wrong with her? What’s wrong with my wife?!” He looked up at the man who stood before him examining his wife.

The man had sighed as Kili laid a comforting hand upon his brothers’ shoulder, though it went unnoticed by the panicked prince. “It appears the damage to her throat and vocal cords cause her pain as she tries to make even the slightest of sounds. I fear the damage that had been done by the blade, though fortunately not fatal, may run too deep for her to utter a spoken word again.”

Those who stood near the door had finally entered and joined the others within the room with solemn expressions. Upon hearing this, you willed your own eyes to open and you finally gazed upon the man that was currently unknown to you through watery eyes, your vision blurred from the pain and fresh tears that continuously threaten to spill.

Thorin had quickly exchanged a look with the grey wizard, soon turning to head towards the door, not before sending you a small smile that was riddled with guilt and a pat to his nephews’ shoulder sympathetically who had a look of sadness yet brute determination across his face.

The others had followed Thorins’ example, all giving their own form of comfort towards their companions, thought none dared speak. In time, the room had been vacated by all except the wedded pair. You stared blankly ahead of you, now void of tears left to cry for the time being, all the while Fili had taken a seat atop the bed beside you, slowly and gently cradling your hand in his.

“Amrâlimê, my snowdrop, please look at me.” He whispers as softly as a summer nights breeze, afraid that even speaking at this volume may cause you sadness.

You slowly turned your gaze towards your husband, anguish shone deeply within your (E/C) orbs. He moved himself closer, laying his forehead to rest against yours. “I love you, your voice does not change that in the slightest. I will be your voice, forever ‘til the day I perish. I know this will truly be heart breaking for you and that you may feel sadness through the loss of your voice, but your voice had never truly made you who you are. What’s inside here,” he pointed towards your chest which your heart lay underneath, “is what made you, you.”

You teared up at his loving speech and words of encouragement. You could do nothing more than lean into his embrace further as stray tears slipped from your tear ducts. Fili cradled your head tenderly to his chest, combing his large fingers through your now short hair expect one section where your braid dangled.

He ran his finger and thumb over the braiding and across the bead and smiled. “I must admit, I’m eternally grateful that your braid remains.” You smiled and nuzzled yourself further into his warm and loving embrace. “I love you, snowdrop.”

You thought for a moment before tapping at the left side of his chest where his heart rests and tapped lightly three times, hoping that he would understand that you responded, desperately trying to relay those three words back to him.

He looked down at you and smiled, tapping your own chest the three times before settling further back into the bed, laying your head to rest upon his chest. He pressed a kiss atop the crown of your head and closed his eyes.

Only now he felt he could finally breath, releasing a long sign. He knew that you were going to be okay and he thanked the Gods with his whole being and more for allowing him to have you in his arms, alive and well.

--- end of flashback ---

You smiled sadly as your head had lowered, placing one hand over your large, faded scar and the other hand on to your husbands chest. Once more, as if he knew what had been playing running through your mind, he lifted your chin and placed a chaste yet passionate kiss upon your lips. “I love you, snowdrop.” He spoke as he tapped your chest three times with his large pointer finger.

You beamed up at Fili, a wide smile that he instantly mirrored as he recognised your spirit lifting. You tapped his chest four times and the look of confusion that had spread across Fili’s face had been comical enough to elicit a silent giggle from you, shoulders bouncing up and down slightly.

“What does the fourth one mean, amrâlimê?” You mouthed a singular word, ‘more’, and grinned cheekily up at Fili. He laughed boisterously as he gathered you in his arms, raising you slightly from the floor. “You never cease to surprise me, my snowdrop.”

At this, your grin could only widen as you turn to retrieve a tiny piece of folded parchment you had written on and hidden between the pages. You faced your husband once again as you held out the piece for him to take. He attentively does so and unfolds it with caution.

He read over the 3 simple words that lay along the centre of the paper and he froze, wide eyed. You swore he had stopped breathing for a moment. ‘I’m with child.’ The initial shock had worn off fairly quickly and his head snapped up towards you, a small smile playing upon his lips. “Are you sure amrâlimê?”

You nodded ferociously and he grinned as he surges forward and crashes his lips against yours, smiling entirely throughout. He pulled back and cupped your face between his hands. “We must tell everyone immediately.” He was just as excited as a child witnessing the first fall of snow during the season of winter.

He engulfed your hand into his own and pulled you hastily through the halls as he repeated the loud and joyful announcement of you bearing his kin. All you could do is smile as your husband trapsed around gleefully and prideful. You shook your head adoringly at your husbands’ antics.

As everyone congratulated the young prince and his wife, you, Fili could only sigh just like he had when he comforted you after the initial loss of your voice, although, now happy not just for you live but for you live happily, carrying his son or daughter.

His family was only to expand more and more, and he couldn’t be more ecstatic from the thought. For now, all he could do was support you the best way he can during your long pregnancy and the years that follow, for he lives solely for you, his family, his amrâlimê, his snowdrop.

_______________

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.

.

.

.

I don’t know what it is but I’ve just recently been in the mood for LOTR/The Hobbit stuff

Especially Fili, I feel like he’s kinda overshadowed by Kili (who I love, don’t get me wrong)

I really enjoyed writing this so I hope you enjoy reading this just much

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

[moony-artnstuff]

Skin-changer

Pairing: Kili x Reader

Note: @writing-fortolkein​ here is your request, sorry that this took so long! This is my first time writing for Kili, so I would love to hear your feedback on what I did right and on what I should work more! I hope you like it!

“The dawn will take you all!” you heard Gandalf’s voice say, before a blinding flash of light followed, turning the trolls into stone. You let out a sigh of relief, as the dwarves around you cheered, none of you would be eaten by trolls, at least not today.

“Do you need a hand?’‘ you looked to your left and were met with Kili’s grinning face. He had already gotten out of his sack and was now offering to help you with your own.

“A hand would be nice.” you grinned back, and he helped you out of the smelly bag and onto your feet.

“We found a troll cave!” you heard someone shout, and both you and Kili went to look. There was indeed a troll cave hidden within the trees. Thorin, Nori, Gloìn, Bofur, Dwalin and Gandalf went in to investigate. You wanted to come too, untill you were met with the disgusting smell. It was already bad to those with normal noses, but with your enhanced senses it was unbearable, so you sat down on a rock a small distance away from the entrance. You hadn’t told anyone in the company yet that you were a skin-changer. Skin-changers were very rare, and for all they knew you were just a normal dwarrowdam. You wondered what would happen if they’d find out. Would they think less of you? Would Kili think less of you? Your heart sank at the thought. No, you told yourself, Kili wouldn’t do such a thing. You had come to like the young dwarf-prince, even more than you would like to admit. He was kind, funny, charming and he could be such a sweetheart. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice a figure sitting next to you and calling out your name. When you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder you let out a small yelp.

“Whoops, sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.” Kili said, raising his hands in an apologetic way.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s okay.” you answered a bit sheepish.

‘‘You seemed pretty lost in thought, are you okay? What were you thinking about?’‘

‘‘Um... nothing.’‘ you said, and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. 

“Come ooon,” Kili whined playfully, “I promise I won’t tell. I’m great at keeping secrets!”

“Is that so?” you mused, and he hummed in response.

“I’ve never spilled a secret in my life! Not even when Fili told me he secretly borrowed one of Dwalin’s blades and then lost it- wait.” and you laughed when Kili realized he just spilled his brother’s secret.

“Don’t tell him I told you that.” he said.

“Don’t worry,” you grinned, “I’m great at keeping secrets.” and you winked at him, making him chuckle.

Gandalf and the others got out of the cave when suddenly distressed yelling could be heard coming your way, and not even a few seconds later an old man on a sled pulled by rabbits appeared. You learned his name was Radagast and that you were being hunted down by orcs. Before you knew it you were on the move.

You could hear the growls and howls of the wargs as they chased the brown wizard, while Gandalf led you to who knows where. As you were running through the fields you had to hide behind rocks and trees in order not to be seen. You were hiding behind a particularly big rock when you heard growling right above your head. Your breath hitched in your throat and your heart was beating so loud you were sure the orc could hear it. From the corner of your eye you could see Kili carefully notching an arrow and then swiftly shooting it in the wargs chest making the beast tumble down after which it was quickly killed by Dwalin while Nori took down it’s rider, but it was already too late. The rest of the pack had heard you.

“RUN!” Gandalf yelled, but it was futile. You could see more orcs appearing from everywhere and you knew the company was being surrounded, so you did the only thing you could think of. You changed. You started to become bigger as a dark blonde fur replaced your s/c skin, your h/c hair growing into mane and your hands turned into paws with claws, and when Kili turned around and met your e/c orbs, he realized they were no longer yours, but those of a lion. You let out a bone-rattling roar, and then ran straight to the nearest orc taking both it and the warg down, ripping them to pieces, immediately moving on to the next one. Kili tried to cover you as best as he could by shooting down the riders that were trying to attack you from behind.

“Here you fools!” Gandalf yelled, before you saw him disappear in what you realized was a secret passage. You kept on fighting orcs until you were sure everyone had entered the passage, and only then you made way for the entrance, turning back into your dwarven form right before you tumbled down the hole and being caught by Kili’s awaiting arms. Outside you could hear a horn being blown and arrows being shot when all of a sudden an orc came falling down landing right before your feet. It was dead.

“I can’t see where the path leads,” Dwalin said, “do we follow it or no?”

“Follow it, of course!” Bofur answered, and you all started walking down the narrow passway. It was a wonder no one got stuck. You were walking at the back of the group when Kili joined you. It was quiet for a moment, then he spoke up.

“So, a lion skin-changer huh?”

“Um... yeah.” you mumbled, keeping your gaze fixed on the ground.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kili inquiered.

“Because... because I thought that maybe you would think less of me if you knew I was a halfbreed.”

“What? Are you crazy? I would never think such a thing! If anything I thought you were amazing out there!” At that your head shot up, and when you looked into his chocolate brown eyes all you saw was mirth and curiosity.

“You mean it?” you asked.

“Of course I mean it! The way you took down those orcs like it was nothing was so awesome! And it seems like you are cute as both a lion and a dwarrowdam.” and he winked at you, making the heat return to your cheeks. Maybe telling Kili you were a skin-changer wouldn’t have been so bad after all.

[nityarawal]

11/5/2023

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Imagine How

Smart Are Model

Moms'

Untested

Psychologists

Teachers

Dr's Of Mothering

Cooks

At Home

You Better Sing 

To Sainthood

If You Want To Be As

Bright

As Our Greatest

Queen's

And Singers

Like Your Mom Maye

My Maye Goddaughter

And Treasured

Starter Wives

We Don't Want Murdered

Like Ivana

Tortured 

Like Your Mom Maye

In Apartheid

Divorce

From Selfish Cheaters

My Maye Goddaughter

Cat Walking Italy

Trying To Get

Honest Work

Modeling

In New York

Mother May I

Did You Play It 

Often

Want To Be As Bright

As Goddesses

Greatest Lights

Then Embrace Your

Inner Light

Jyoti- Bhara Pragya

Ritam-Bhara Pragya

Miracles

Instantly

"That Intelligence That

Only Knows

Truth,"

Maharishi Said

A Great Physicist

A Peter Pan

Mercurial

Choice

Want To Be As

Bright

As Saint Nick

Elon

All The Time

Glowing

Like Yesterday

On Lex Fridman

Movie Star

Quality

Want Your Reeves

Superman To Shine

Now

20 Minutes Is All

It Takes

That's All That

James Bond

Needs For Peace

Master Cleanse

20 Minutes Is All

It Takes

That's All That

Queen Elizabeth 

Would Ever Give

20 Minutes Twice A

Day- Royals

Meeting With God

20 Minutes Twice A

Day

Then Give It Away

Maharishi Said

Radiate

To Make 

.001% Medetate

Ordered 

By Conscious Referees 

To Do Yoga

Instead

Of Self

Sabotage

Offense

Thankyou

Please

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

[lazuliquetzal]

a miscellaneous collection of jokes cut from AA Batteries

none of these snippets are meaty enough to warrant their own post, so i'll just group them all here!

this mostly scenes and jokes that don't really go anywhere.

1. The Joke I've Been Trying To Shove In Since Chapter 3

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard all week, and I’ve heard Kuramochi-senpai claim that Eijun has a girlfriend,” Akira snaps.

2. The Deleted Introspective Chicken Monologue

The first time Akira saw Narumiya Mei pitch, way back in the beginning of the summer, he was inexplicably reminded of their neighbor’s chicken coop.

“What?” Haruichi asked, when Akira voiced his observation.

“Loud,” Akira had explained. “And kind of terrifying?”

“You’re talking about chickens, right? The things that lay eggs and cluck around all day?”

“Obviously, you’ve never been chased by a flock of angry chickens.”

Kominato Haruichi, born and raised in the suburbs of Kanagawa Prefecture, didn’t seem to fully appreciate the comparison, but at least he tried to.

“In that case,” he’d said, struggling to grasp the metaphor, “Eijun is kind of like a flock of chickens too, right?”

“No, it’s —” Akira huffed. “Chickens don’t care. All they do is eat and poop. There’s nothing but violence going on in their heads. That’s what he reminds me of.”

“That’s kind of a strong opinion to have on a person you’ve never met,” Haruichi said.

“Oh, I don’t know what he’s like as a person,” Akira said with a shrug. “But as a player, he seems rather bloodthirsty.”

Akira had never caught for a pitcher like that. Eijun was Eijun, and Furuya was Furuya, and Nori-senpai and Tanba-senpai were themselves. But Naruimiya Mei seemed like another beast entirely — ambitious and fierce and proud, complete with the skill to back it up. He’d asked Miyuki-senpai about it later, and even though he’d barely answered, he’d gotten enough information to confirm his suspicions.

But it wasn’t until weeks later, after everything, that he’d been able to truly appreciate the danger of Narumiya Mei.

They were sitting in the stands, just after beating Sensen Academy, watching Inajitsu play Sakurazawa. Eijun had been sitting next to him, and they’d watched the game with wide eyes.

“I want to catch that knuckleball,” Akira said, upon seeing Sakurazawa’s ace.

“Of course you do,” Eijun laughed. He elbowed him in the side. “I bet you’d have been a knuckleballer if you were a pitcher. He even has the same name as you.”

“Maybe,” Akira shrugged. He lowered his voice so that the senpai couldn’t overhear. “I know they want revenge, but I’m kind of rooting for Sakurazawa.”

“Public school representation,” Eijun agreed.

But it wasn’t to be. Slowly, steadily, Inashiro Industrial had worn away at the ground under Sakurazawa’s feet. It was the first time Akira had witnessed such offensive defense.

It wasn’t like Eijun, spirited and fearless. Narumiya Mei’s pitching was insidiously perfect, a wall that couldn’t be overcome, a light so bright that it scared you away into the shadows. He was loud, like Eijun, and he was tricky, like Eijun, but Narumiya Mei just felt different.

Like he wasn’t looking at you. Like he had bigger giants to slay.

Inajitsu won, and Seidou’s baseball team boarded their bus and headed back to campus, and Akira took a nap.

Later, that same day, he would fight with his brother. He wasn’t thinking of Narumiya, then, but he would think of him later.

Eijun’s stronger than that, he told himself, after letting Miyuki Kazuya run out and chase down Eijun. He obviously doesn’t need me. He won’t break. Not for baseball.

But Narumiya Mei was an opponent he’d never faced before. Fierce, violent, and out for blood. Like a chicken, as stupid as that sounded.

Sometimes, it’s the stupid things that you have to look out for.

3. The Akagi Team Group Chat

“Where’s my phone? I have to tell everyone that we won.”

“Oh, use mine,” Eijun says, and he holds out his phone. “That way Wakana won’t get mad at me for not checking in.”

Akira rolls his eyes, but unlocks Eijun’s phone anyway and opens up the Akagi group chat.

!!!!! GUYS WE WNON A GAME IM LOSING MY MIND

eyyyyyy noice

Congrats, Eijun!

aki is that you? tell your brother to stop being a coward and respond to my messages

wtf wakana how did you know

ei only messages first when he finishes a manga and wants seiichi to write fanfic for it

Eijun rips his phone out of Akira’s hands.

I DO NOT????/?

hi ei, stop being a coward and respond to my messages

4. Teenagers are Idiots

Akira hovers in the first-years’ conversation, occasionally chiming in. It’s not until they’re halfway to the parking lot that reality finally hits.

“Holy crap!” Akira exclaims, nearly walking into a pole. Luckily, Kanemaru catches him by his windbreaker before he can bruise his face.

“You good?” He asks, lifting an eyebrow.

“We just played baseball,” Akira says, instead of answering the question.

“Why are you like this?”

“We just played baseball!” Akira repeats, still disbelieving. He swivels around and grabs Eijun’s sleeve. “Ei, slap me!”

Eijun doesn’t hesitate. He slaps him so hard that Akira almost falls over.

“Ow! That hurt!”

Toujou snickers while Kanemaru grimaces.

“What did you think would happen?”

“I don’t know?” Akira says. “Oh my god, it’s been so long since I’ve played in a real game! I think I’m high on adrenaline!”

Kanemaru looks at him incredulously. “Who are you?”

“Oh, no,” Eijun says, groaning. “I forgot about this part. Akira, you’re going to crash so hard later.”

Akira laughs. “Pfft, this isn’t middle school anymore, I’m fine! We just shut down Teitou High! I’m invincible!”

_

The next thing he remembers is Eijun shaking him awake.

“Go away,” Akira grumbles. “Leave me alone to die.”

5. EijunxTire OTP

“Your fielding sucks too, dumbass,” Miyuki reminds him. “And take that thing off. This is a warm-up jog, you’re going to strain yourself.”

“No need!” Eijun announces. “During my banishment, I spent several weeks in the company of my beloved tire! We have a bond that goes beyond that of an athlete and his training tool! This is nothing!”

“Sawamura!” Coach Kataoka yells from across the field. “This is a warm-up! Take the tire off!”

Eijun stiffens. “Yes, boss!” He yells back, and he stops to untie the tire.

[middleearthpixie]

Someone to Watch Over Me ~ Chapter Thirteen

Summary: The Company seeks aid from Beorn and Seren finds herself jealous of Bilbo, even as she insists to Thorin they must keep their distance from one another. Oh, and spiders. Big. Evil. Spiders.

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield/Seren (female OC, formerly of Dale)

Characters: The Company, Gandalf, the Spiders of Mirkwood

Rating: T

Warnings: Some battle violence, creepy spiders, and cocoons

Word Count: 2,266

Additional Information: If you’d like to be added to the tag list, please let me know!

@tschrist1 - I hope you are having a nice weekend...

Everything in the barn was far bigger than all of them save for Gandalf, but he assured them they were safe there and that the bear who had chased them all into said barn would help them. A skin-changer, Gandalf described him. A fellow named Beorn. They were to sleep in the barn for the night and come morning, Gandalf would carefully (and he emphasized the word carefully) introduce them. And it had to be done carefully (again, he emphasized carefully) for apparently Beorn was none too fond of dwarves.

Wonderful.

But that didn’t stop others from falling asleep. She was the only awake body, as sleep mocked her. It didn’t help that she could hear the faint cries of wargs, which seemed to be growing closer at a fairly steady pace.

Even Thorin slept, which didn’t surprise her. His had been the roughest of days and as she gazed across the barn at where he lay nestled in a pile of hay, all she could think about was how he sought out Bilbo. If she’d been the one to slay the orc, he’d have looked for her, but no. She was useless dangling from a burning, listing tree instead.

She was being silly and childish and she knew it, but she wanted only to stretch out beside Thorin, to let him rest his head in her lap, and stroke his hair. Which was equally silly and childish.

Coming after him had been a terrible idea. She hadn’t stopped to think what would happen once she found him and really hadn’t thought about what being part of this company would mean for her, either.

She gave up trying to sleep and stood up, carefully picking her way around the sleeping dwarves, toward the rear of the barn. There, she climbed up onto the edge of a stall and peered out the small window that overlooked a beautiful lake and from her vantage point, the moon’s light cut a silver swath across the middle and the rippling water reminded her of sparkling diamonds against a bed of silver and black velvet.

“Having trouble sleeping?”

She nearly leapt from her skin at Thorin’s unexpected whisper and she spun about to glare at him. “Must you sneak up on me?”

“I apologize,” he said with a hint of a smile. “I didn’t mean to startle you. What can you see?”

She turned back toward the window. “There’s a lake out behind this barn. And the moon shines across it.”

“It sounds peaceful.”

“It looks peaceful.” With a sigh, she eased down from the side of the stall and leaned against it instead. “I’m surprised you’re awake. You look… exhausted.”

A rueful smile came to his lips as he reached up to touch the ugly-looking cut across his nose. “I’ve had better days.”

Her throat tightened and her belly did a strange flip as she gazed up at him. In addition to the cut, his right cheek bore a large bruise, and the left side of his forehead sported a smaller one. There were also nearly half a dozen smaller scrapes along his left cheek and jawline. Without thinking, she reached up and brushed his hair away from his face. “I thought he was going to kill you.”

“As did I. Thank the maker for Master Baggins.”

“Exactly.”

“And what about you?” He caught her by the hands to turn hers palm up. They were red and scraped from the pine tree’s branch and trunk. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. I was a little surprised when the eagle caught me, because I was certain I was going to splat against the mountainside, but I’m fine otherwise.”

“Good.”

He made no move to release her hands, and instead, his thumbs moved lightly over her palms to send a rush of tingles up both arms. Part of her wanted to pull away, but it was far weaker than the side that wished him to keep touching her.

A soft snore rose from Bilbo, who slept in the far corner, curled up with two goats. She looked up back up at Thorin. “I think your burglar has a crush on you, Mr. Oakenshield. When you hugged him, he lit up like the sun.”

Thorin peered over his shoulder at the hobbit. “I think perhaps you’ve read a bit much into his reaction, Seren.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think so. You should be careful where he is concerned.”

“Careful?” He turned back to her. “My interests lie not with other men.”

“Well, I know that, but he doesn’t. So you need to take care. Don’t hurt him.”

“How could I hurt him?”

“You could let him think there is more to your feelings toward him than camaraderie.”

He let out a soft sigh, and when his gaze met hers, she actually felt it. “I could tell him another has claimed my heart.”

“Thorin…” She shook her head slowly. “Please, don’t…”

“Don’t what?” He stepped closer, out of the moonlight and into the darkness. His eyes glittered pale blue as he backed her up against the stall’s wall. “Perhaps I made a mistake, Seren.”

“You have to finish what you’ve set out to do,” she told him softly, flattening one hand in the middle of his chest to halt him.

For all the good it did, as he closed the space between them, his lips hovering by a fraction of an inch above hers. “I will. But—“

“No. No but.”

He bent toward her, his lips brushed hers softly. Her eyes closed as he swept those lips along her jaw, as he nuzzled her gently, sliding an arm about her waist. Her hand came to rest on his upper arm, his biceps like granite beneath his dark blue tunic. Her eyes closed, her head lolling back until it came to rest against the wall with the softest of thuds.

Heat coursed through her, delicious and teasing, and she wanted only to melt against him, to pull him down into the sweet-smelling hay and let whatever happened, happen.

But they were not alone and nothing had changed.

Her eyes opened as she pushed him away. “We cannot do this. We agreed, last evening was a beautiful thing, but now, reality intrudes and—”

“And I don’t think I can stay away from you,” he confessed, catching her face in his hands, his thumbs skimming along her cheekbones. “And I don’t think I wish to, either.”

“Thorin, you must.”

“Seren.”

“No.” She pulled free again. “We need to go back to how we were, or else I need to leave, because I will not be the reason why your quest fails.”

“Seren.”

“I mean it, Thorin. You need to leave me be.” She stepped to the side to move around him. “Perhaps I should just leave. Everyone would be fine without me.”

“There is an orc pack in those woods, Seren. You wouldn’t survive to their edge.” He came up behind her, easing his arms about her waist. “You will stay with us and when this is over, we see what we have here.”

As he spoke, he lifted one hand to catch her braid and moved it to let it fall over her left shoulder. Her eyes closed at the first sweep of his lips against the side of her neck. For a moment, she savored the sensations he sent running rampant through her, and wondered if he had any idea of the havoc he wrought upon a woman’s senses. No one would ever believe it possible for him to be this gentle, this tender, as he was right then, and she wished with everything she had she could change for him, that she could give herself to him and hope for a future.

But she couldn’t and that wasn’t going to change.

One of the other dwarves stirred and murmured, “Thorin? Is something wrong?”

Thorin straightened, his arms falling away from her as he stepped around her and said, “Everything is fine, Ori. Go back to sleep. Morning will be here before you know it.”

He glanced back at her. “You should get some sleep as well, Seren. You look exhausted.”

“I will.” She tried to smile, but couldn’t. Her heart hurt far too much for her to pretend otherwise and no one had ever warned her just how much it could hurt, to want something so badly that she knew she could never have. “Good night, Thorin.”

He walked away without looking back. “Good night, Seren.”

***

Gandalf woke them at dawn and warned them that he would introduce them one or two at a time to Beorn, then took Bilbo with him as he went out to prepare Beorn for the houseguests he didn’t know he had.

Seren held her breath as she, Fili, and Kili emerged from the barn at the same time, after Beorn had already been gobsmacked by the wizard’s hiding twelve dwarves, a hobbit, and a boy in his barn.

As for Seren, she hoped Gandalf knew what he was doing, for Beorn was at least ten feet tall and hugely muscled. He also was, as he said, none too fond of dwarves. He glared at the Company as he growled, “Is this all?”

Thorin stepped out of the barn then, arms folded, and leaned against a post to stare down their host. Gandalf quickly explained their story, and over breakfast, Beorn agreed to help them out. He offered ponies and supplies and warned them of the dangers to be found in Mirkwood, their next destination. After that, came Lake-town and finally, Erebor. They were almost there.

Some time later, the Company, astride beautiful ponies with flowing white manes, were on their way to Mirkwood and as they reached it, and climbed down from their saddles, Gandalf said, “Set the ponies free and back to their master.”

Nori moved to set Gandalf’s horse free as well, only to have Gandalf stop him. “No, not that one. I’ll need him.”

Thorin looked up at him. “You’re leaving?”

“You will be fine and I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to.” Gandalf swung up into his saddle. “You need only remember to be on your guard and stay on the path. Do not under any circumstances, venture from it.”

And with that, he was off, leaving Thorin staring at him in disgust as he said, “Well, come on then.”

Bilbo shook his head. “These woods feel sick.”

“Just stick to the path and we will be fine.” Thorin looked over at her. “Let’s go, Seren.”

“I’m coming.” She brushed by him, and hurried to catch up to Bofur. “Where are we even going?”

He glanced down. “To Laketown, I suppose. It must be on the far side of these woods.”

She looked around. They were the most confusing woods she’d ever encountered. The trees looked half-dead, with vines wrapping all about their trunks, stretching like tentacles across the leaf-and-debris strewn forest floor. Bilbo was right. These woods did feel sick. Sickness. Death. Dismay. Doom. They all lay heavy in the air, like cheap perfumes wore by women with loose morals, as Mama liked to say.

Even the air felt odd. It left her feeling dizzy, a bit disoriented. More than once, she stumbled over an exposed tree root or vine, or sometimes nothing at all—it was if the forest itself grabbed her foot—and caught Bofur. Then he tripped, grabbed her, and pulled her down to the floor atop him.

She lay there for a long minute, her thoughts a tangled up ball of knots as she tried to remember where they were. Tried to remember why they were there. But it all clouded in her brain and she stared down at Bombur as if she had never seen him before. “Why are you holding me?”

“You’re holding me.”

A hand snagged in the back of her tunic and roughly tugged her off him and Thorin said, “Enough. I thought you wished your secret kept.”

“My what?” She stared up at him. His eyes seemed far bluer than usual. Her gaze fell to the pulse beating in his neck, to the scruff that was the beginning of his beard, and then she reached for him. Grabbed his shirtsleeve as the others stumbled along ahead of them. She rose onto her toes and as gently as she knew how, bit the side of his neck.

He jumped back. “What the deuce?”

“You didn’t mind that the other night.”

“There weren’t thirteen other people within eyesight of us, either.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “What are you about?”

“I—I don’t know.” Dizziness washed over her. She felt drunk, reckless, not herself. She wanted to grab him and pull him down, but at the same time, was afraid she’d be sick if she did. Her head spun. Her eyes wanted only to close. She stumbled again.

Thorin caught her. “Take care, Seren.”

“I—I don’t feel well,” she muttered.

He stopped then, and growled, “Everyone, stop.”

The Company did, all staring up at him as Balin said, “What is it?”

He let go of Seren, who stumbled into Dwalin, who said, “Where even are we?”

“Quiet,” Thorin whispered. “We’re being watched.”

Seren righted herself. “What?”

As if having been given a signal, spiders dropped from all around them. Seren screamed involuntarily as something grabbed her from behind and a moment later, she could barely breathe or see and she fought down her rising panic as she realized she was being wrapped in a thick, sticky cocoon.