#and no i dont think certain things should be considered fetishes or kinks but this is not about those things

[maxellminidisc]

I hate people's like idk inherit disgust and mistrust of people with fetishes, especially pretty harmless ones rooted in partiallism, like say feet or armpits. Like as long as someone is respectful of your boundaries of not wanting to participate in their fetish and they're not being a pushy manipulative creep about it, the least you can do is spare them the cruel and unneeded humiliation, especially as a partner when someone is willing to open up about it during discussion on intimacy. Like idk sometimes it's sad seeing people just go "Ha! Point and laugh at the person into a body part that's not socially sexualized!"

[agro-carnist]

i appreciate the answer but you still didn't answer my question, being if you'd want someone who fantasizes about kids to work around children... i do not inherently believe people with certain fetishes are evil but i think the best course of action is not to repeatedly indulge in it i.e. the glitchedpuppet example. and not just them, but others like zaush or jasonafex, who both drew (and in some occassions even traced over pictures of) children in sexual situations and were later outed as grooming children. I bring that up not to insult you but to try and emphasize that they also started out as fiction-only and later moved on to the real thing... i think its simply irresponsible to claim fiction is harmless when it can have an actual impact on the way your brain normalizes things, like mortal kombat developers actually getting PTSD from being forced to watch gore videos in order to make the gore in-game as realistic as possible. Repeatedly exposing yourself to large amounts of simulated CP/abuse, zoophilia, etc can really fuck up your longterm perceptions and even if you think you would never cross the line that doesn't mean the others consuming your publicly posted works might not have that resolve and act out their fantasies on real life animals or children ... once again i emphasize i don't want this to come across as an attack and i dont condone harassment of you but people have a right to be concerned, esp those like me who were shown content like this at a young age, specifically a lot of zoophilic art, and got really fucked up by it. I do want to apologize for no links as tumblr hates them in asks, but you can look up these claims and they are verifiable

I get what you're saying but I'm just not convinced that nsfw art is at all the culprit for why those people did bad things. Like, look, porn isn't going to wave away your convictions. These people just didn't have moral standing to begin with. Whether or not porn existed they'd have hurt people. They're shitty people that also happen to draw nsfw. People use all sorts of things to hurt. If someone makes and sells knives anybody could buy one and hurt someone with it. I make sure to make my space one that rewards morality and is hostile to people with bad intentions. The kink community, at least the part I've become a part of, is full of literally the kindest and most safety oriented people there are. They're very focused on consent, mental well being, and social progress. I can't police everyone that engages with my work, there will always be bad people that slither their way in, but that's true for literally anything.

As for your question, if someone is fantasizing about real kids, then no I don't think they should work with children. If they fantasize about fictional kids, that gets into a big gray area. There are several other factors to consider when calculating if someone is high risk, and I dont think we as just some shmucks on the internet are qualified to decide that. I don't think these are things that can be summed up in one blanket statement of if they're dangerous or not. That's something for professionals to work on. I'm just not qualified to say if this one trait should be a qualifier for pathology

[cwarscars]

Hey bro i heard you like 🔥 so c'maaan gimmie your salt maaaan

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

(( gonna preface this by saying - if any of my moot moots are one side or the other, or consider themselves such - i got no beef with you. you're my homies, my real ones, my ride or dies; im open-minded to hearing your opinions. jus' dont send me any anon nastiness, ill cry REAL tears ))

honestly? i can't stand the black and white thinking in the rpc & fanfic communities as a whole. the whole pro-shipper/anti-shipper debate is extremely tiresome to apparently anyone who believes in nuance & grey situations.

like, on one side - you have people who will and do persecute people for the fucked up ships that they write. on the other, you have people who preach fiction is fiction and will willingly ignore the genuinly problematic people who take advantage of the notion of 'pro-shipping' in order to write their extreme fetishes ( ala, pedophilia / beastiality ).

i have always been anti-censorship. i always will be. i watch extreme cinema and read extreme manga / comics. nothing phases me. there are films that disturb me ( salo will /always/ make my uncomfy ) and obviously things i wont touch with a ten foot barge pole ( anything with kids / animals ) but for the most part, i'm very chill when it comes to what people want to write. i believe people should be honest about their kinks, preferences and things they wish to write.

if your partner is willing, it's consensual and tagged or under a read more. i have zero issues with it. but -

i have gotten sent hate before from 'pro-shippers' for stating my stance on anybody who wants to write smut with kids. literal hate for stating i'm against pedophilia. ( and im not talking about a 17 yr old being sexually active, im talking, like - literal children being sexualised ) like, what? i've been called purity police and all kinds of shit. like, me? purity police???? the bitch whose favourite comic is crossed and favourite manga, ichi the killer. LOL

my whole issue with the debate and the censorship / arguments in the rpc is that, it feels as though you HAVE to be one side or the other. you can't have a nuanced opinion, you can't understand that sometimes - there is a place for certain content, despite how extreme it is.

everybody is allowed a preference. you're allowed to be upset, offended, afraid, disgusted by or whatever else from x subject. every single individual is different and it's what makes us all beautiful. and i feel people need to really understand this. you can write extreme content but don't expect people to like it. on the other hand, if you don't like x content - don't attack someone for writing that content.

i just feel that there's wrong on both sides and i wish people would actually talk about the subject instead of throwing around attacks at each other. ultimately, whether anybody likes it or not - what you're writing is a footnote in the grand scheme of literature. you're writing on tumblr with your buddies and you're here to have fun.

if you wanna write an extreme sex scene with your consenting friends, go for it. if you don't want to write smut or you can't stand a certain ship, that is totally fine, too.

it's okay! both sides can be right without being aggressive or nasty.

like said, i would never label myself 'pro-ship' or any of that shit because i don't agree with that stance. i believe that there is a place for all content in all media in some, way, shape or form. i believe that rp is a slippery slope because it's a hobby that involves partners and is sociable. you have to please those around you and must understand that you can't wave around fetishes without a potential backlash. i agree people should write what they want, but i don't agree that there is a place for ( for example ) smut involving kids or animals. especially in the rpc. i've seen people 'joke' before about writing a pedo purely for exploration & to get a reaction. i can't imagine a more unenjoyable, questionable, horrific kind of thing to write in rp ( hell, even in media...that sort of character burns out and leaves creators depressed a/f).

i just wish people would talk, understand, and be open-minded. and - think about the bigger picture, too.

is this thing going to ride with you when you're offline?

probably not. so be respectful, have fun and just chill~

[theasianinfluence]

the denizens of the web are shocked and repulsed by the idea of people over 35 having sex or, god forbid, having kinks or fetishes

Or if youre under 35 and fat or have blemishes or have different body proportions or hairy or are into The Weird Fetishes or just aren't conventionally attractive... and what they do is say "omg that's so cursed"

I feel like I see this more often with men, I cant give any kind of scientific reason why, maybe women are just easier to sexualize, but there are so many cases where somebody has like a "cursed image" and it will be like... the most vanilla gay porn but the guys are hairy and fat. Or somebody that isnt conventionally attractive is wearing a collar. Do you know how many twitter users would have a heart attack at the mere CONCEPT of old people being into BDSM.

I think that deep down, these kinds of people still see sex as a shameful (maybe even sinful) act, and that expressing sexuality is only allowed if youre pretty because they think appearance is some kind of indication of morality. To them, young, beautiful people have EARNED the right to be sexual by virtue of being nice to look at. When they don't like how somebody looks, they are reminded of how shameful they consider sex, and think those people should ALSO be ashamed. For not being pretty while engaging in (AND ENJOYING!) an animal instinct ingrained into us as a species.

And the thing is like... you dont have to like it. You don't have to be into furry shit or femboys or old people or hairy gay people. You dont have to seek any of this stuff out. And you're still allowed to think it's weird or be turned off by it. But you can also keep your mouth shut. You can stay in your lane. You CANT go "this is true EXCEPT FOR--" Are the parties involved consenting adults? Because honestly that's kinda the only thing that matters. If vanilla cishet porn featuring gorgeous people is allowed, then the fat hairy ugly old people weird kink porn is allowed to sit right next to it.

Weird people get horny. Unattractive people get horny. Disabled people get horny. Fat people get horny. Old people get horny.

And you WILL get old. And if YOU decide at a certain age that you're going to live the rest of your life sexless, that's up to you. I'm not going to shame you for that. But you dont get to decide when or how other people fuck

[wilted3sunflowers]

Do you have any tips on writing in trans/demiguy/demigirl characters without them looking or seeming transphobic?

To be honest, i dont know how to put it into words but like i’ll try i guess

I only have the ability to speak on this as someone whos non binary 

Theres like no one way to do that for a character because well, are they a side character, a main character, is this for a story for others to enjoy? just a regular oc for you to have fun?Like obviously, if its something for people to enjoy and experience i think you can never be too careful when considering what to do and how characters could be received in certain lights. Like always be receptive to feedback because you can’t just rebuff others for being sensitive on this matter, like certainly enough people will bring up what could be done better which is why you should always consult others relating to the character that way, ask people hey does this seem alright? when making the character for the thing you want people to enjoy. 

Either way the point is to 

1. Don’t make being Trans THE character, its A PART of the character. Like making a trans character is quite easy, you make a character you want…congrats they’re trans.

2. I say, unless youre trans i dont think you should really make a sad character whos focus is on the pain of ‘oh im trans, people dont like me, i hate my body’ and like that just seems pretty, slimy.i remember someone saying “it’s not our story to tell” on someone who wasn’t trans, having a trans character. Like i say you want an angsty character? fine, but dont make them being trans the angst. This isn’t me saying don’t make trans characters but there needs to be consideration on what you’re doing. 

3. Also, obviously don’t fetishize. Like fetishizing is completely different than making the character appear desirable. Trans characters are hardly ever made to seem desirable without seeming like a Kink of the week thing. Is the character an object of someones romantic affections? they profess to thinking about sweet date ideas to hand holding and anything like that? thats showing desirability. It can go more steamy but the point of them being trans when theyre wanting to bone just seems more like a fetish thing than being ‘accepting’ 

[transgenderer]

i mean, i think there is a real and meaningful sense in which some forms of sexual attraction are....so to speak "simple", yknow, direct aesthetic physical attraction to adult human bodies, and then there is another type of sexual attraction that is "complex", as in, involves attraction to things other than adult human bodies, or centrally features abstract concepts. this is interesting because while almost everyone experiences complex attraction (on account of We Live In A Society), they dont all experience the same *types* of complex attraction. these complex attractions are generally in the category of "kink"/"fetish", but its complicated, like, being attracted to certain non-normatively-idealized bodies is considered a kink/fetish, so its complicated and subtle.

but if people arent aware that theyre experiencing complex attraction, theyre going to feel things they dont understand (the same way a young teenager feels complex and confused emotions as they start to experience sexual attraction but dont understand what that feeling is), and, reason about the world in fundamentally distorted ways because theyre trying to find an explanation for these complex feelings that isnt "im horny for a weird thing", because they think being horny for a weird thing is bad.

humans are very prone to motivated reasoning, so if you want to reason well, you should be aware of your motivations, so you can at least try to mitigate that tendency

side note: framing kinks as being perceived as property because theyre described with "having" is very silly. english describes traits through the language of possession, but its just grammar, and you can read into it if you want, but youre doing poetry, not sociology.

i feel like fascism is deeply uninteresting as an ideology on like, a psychological level. like, i want a big strong man to tell me what to do too, youre not special

[akatsukigadaisuki]

My thoughts on the 1700 fujoshi discourse

hella long post, cuz i got a shit ton to say

I’m...so fucking confused??? I don’t support either side, nor do I hate every straight person or support ALL LGBTQA+ people because people aren’t defined by their sexualities alone,, just bc someone is straight doesn’t mean they are like the majority of assholes and not all lgbtqa+ people are nice people who just want to live in a world where their sexuality is accepted / homophobia doesn’t exist. 

even though i am a part of the lgbtqa+ community, i don’t really know much about where the line is drawn for certain things but I’d really like to learn about it. 

anyways, here’s where i saw faults on both sides:

rhov and her supporters:

– instead of accepting that what she was writing did offend people, she continued to state that she knew better than actual lgbtqa+ people who were clearly offended by her writing

– she should have tried to educate herself instead of being like a powerhouse and using the fact that she has ‘1700 fujoshi fans’ as a basis to support her knowledge of how gay / mlm relationships work

–– she should have never made this argument personal, it was based strictly on how she wrote this fic (which btw, i haven’t read, and it probably would make more sense for me to read it so i could make a better argument but as an asexual i prefer staying away from sexual fics) but she decided to say disrespectful things instead and hurt the admins of fairy-tail-salt. totally not mature, at all.

–– from what i read on her blog, i believe she didn’t properly write the kinks/rape and made actual rape into some sort of fetish instead of a problem and claimed it as healthy? (again, i have not read her fic so i can’t make much of an argument without just assuming things). that would clearly trigger many people, and she should have stayed away from that if she didn’t know how to write it well. it’s okay to not know, but what’s not okay is to publish it and have so many people read it and misinform them of how rape should be treated or how it actually works. 

fairy-tail-salt and others:

–– instead of making a meme out of it or just being angry (which is completely understandable) maybe you could’ve just educated her on the whole thing? like tell her what’s actually right and how to properly write mlm and what stereotypes to avoid bc rhov could’ve just not known and possibly wasn't doing all this on purpose, like maybe she wasn't purposely trying to mischaracterize mlm or make it into a disturbing fetish/yaoi but she just believed that it was how it worked or how she saw it? (if this sounds familiar to you, then yes, i was the one that sent that ask)

–– you can’t really expect a straight cishet woman to understand all concepts of what it’s like being gay, i mean, it’s a little impossible when she’s straight? to understand what it’s like being gay, i mean. like she could have a general idea of what it’s like but since she isn’t gay herself she could never fully understand what it’s like or what we all go through as part of the lgbtqa+ community.

––  i think the way you worded things could be executed better. i know you had good intentions and were upset at how she wrote mlm, but the way you said certain things is causing a lot of concern and fear for others as seen by how some people are now afraid to write mlm.

–– rhov may be popular, and since you are trying to stray away from that fact by claiming that it doesn’t justify her actions, then you probably shouldn’t have responded to her at all...but now that i look at other things you said, the fact that she made it personal was what made you get involved, right? but anyways, looking aside from that personal bit, i think that she made a point when she said there are many writers out there who don’t know how to correctly write mlm and make it into yaoi or a disturbing fetish by sexualizing them. but you guys responded to rhov and rhov alone and kind of reinforced her popularity by making her the main topic of concern when there are probably tons of other writers out there who do the same as her and weren’t called out. yes, rhov should have been called out for what she did, but to go this far is bad, isn’t it?

now what i’m confused about.... (feel free to clarify or correct me if i’m wrong on any of these, i really want to know what’s considered right and wrong)

–– this whole trope thing or whatever, like when writers who don’t know the true concepts of wlw or mlm write them, are people offended by the fact that some writers write one of the men as a little more feminine or one of the girls as a little more masculine just so one can top and the other bottoms or something? i mean, physically, when sexual activity is occurring, doesn’t one of them have to top and the other has to bottom at some point? they could obviously switch but maybe one of them prefers to be dominant and the other submissive. i dont entirely understand how that part is offensive, but i do understand being offended by the part that one of the males has to be more feminine just so the ship could work or be valid or one of the girls has to be more masculine for it to work because that would be homophobia and trying to force heterosexual stereotypes on gay people. (although, in some cases, that would be valid because we can’t just erase that sort of thing from all relationships as long as that one way of thinking doesn’t define every relationship.)

–– some people, and rhov could be one of them despite how she executed her argument + the stuff she said in response, don’t know all the rules of homophobia and transphobia or where the line is drawn and other people, the real bad people, know the rules and concepts and all that and yet still abuse the terms and have blatant hate whereas some people genuinely make mistakes and dont know and need to be educated instead of having hate thrown on them? 

–– for us to send hate to her and others for not knowing how to write mlm is a bit hypocritical. i mean, as part of the lgbtqa+ community we receive enough hate as it is from many people, but to do the same thing back to straight people or whoever is against us is not good either, since we are stooping to their level instead of being mature and level-headed.

–– to me, gay and straight relationships are basically the same, the only difference being gender. i mean, it’s just a relationship between two people, and as i said before, sexuality isn’t the only thing that defines you as a person. one half of the relationship doesn’t have to act a certain way to be accepted as “right” but even if some stereotypes are mixed in, it doesn’t make it awful or horrible. it’s not okay to have those stereotypes define the relationship or say that those stereotypes have to be how every relationship is like, but it’s not impossible for some aspects of those stereotypes to exist in some relationships. 

basically, my main point is, it shouldn’t matter too much how a relationship is written or executed, whether it’s straight or lgbtqa+ as long as it’s written in a healthy way and doesn’t state that any stereotypes used is how ALL relationships should be or how they should work. of course there are some lines drawn but overall it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. we are all human, we fuck up a lot and make mistakes, and we are all unique in our own way. there shouldn’t be strict rules for how things work but there are baselines and all and that is totally understandable.

i hope i made things clear in my argument, and please tell me if i am wrong about something. i am still new to the lgbtqa+ world and if there’s anything you want to tell me, hmu in the askbox or through the messaging thing. thank you.