#and my twin was to get off a 8pm NOT FUCKING ALMOST MIDNIGHT

[tarudce22]

the great thing about working in the same place as my twin, also in basically sister departments is we share the same manager. So even though I was off today I got to hear some lovely bullshit said manager is about to step in cause she damned herself no matter what

never give us absolutes and never threaten to writing us up to have us to do useless shit

most of fresh is about to make that managers life hell as she realizes she fucked up threatening to write up a whole department over NOTHING

its gonna be so fun to watch her shit explode in her face

[goatskickin]

Welcome back! When we last left, our heir Faith and her roommate Bettina were in competition over the bigger bed, and their moms were seeing them off to Brainia U.

How have the girls been doing away at college?

      After Bettina and Faith got settled into their charming ramshackle student house, the only thing left to do was get used to living with each other.

“Bettina, shut the computer off. Let’s go out.”

“Just a minute! I only have until midnight to submit this response for class.”

“So? You’ve got hours then! Let’s go!”

“I am trying to get ahead here. I am doing homework. Ever heard of it?”

“Don’t be an asshole. My homework is just different than yours.”

“Oh sure, I forgot…don’t you like have to pretend to be an orange or something? Do a monologue about fading beauty or some crap?”

“I need to print off my monologue for class actually, so let’s go! Let’s go to campus!”

“Fine.”

Faith has tried to make the most of Brainia U’s many student centers, as well as every local hangout.

The actual students at Brainia U are a mixed bag however.

“O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown! The courtier's, soldier's, scholar's, eye, tongue, sword; The expectancy and rose of the fair state, The glass of fashion and the mould of form, The observed of all observers, quite, quite down! And I, of ladies most deject and wretched, That suck'd the honey of his music vows, Now see that noble and most sovereign reason, Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh; That unmatch'd form and feature of blown youth Blasted with ecstasy: O, woe is me, To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!”

“Wow, nothing? That’s the best Ophelia I’ve done all week.”

“Everyone’s a critic.”

“People are idiots Bettina.  Doesn’t anyone know anything about art around here?

…

Aren’t you going to have any chili? I mean, if you want to have some tomorrow once the flavors have melded that’s totally fine…”

Bettina quickly finds out just how often her roommate cooks. Maybe it’s a comfort thing.

But it is almost constant. Bettina never goes hungry.

Bettina approaches college life a little more quietly than her roommate. She has never been away from home, and she’s also never lived without her twin, Wade.

Now that she is living (almost alone), she’s found that she’s the kind of person who finds quiet, solitary activities to be stimulating.

How they spend downtime is not something that Bettina and Faith agree on.

“HEY! It’s 8pm! What the fuck is that noise! I’m reading!”

“Well, in Act 3 of the play I am auditioning for –“

“YEAH maybe you don’t need to do that right now! Thanks!”

Bettina does have her own connections on campus outside of Faith.

“Yah gotta come over. My roommate, she’s kind of a lot to handle, but she makes this bomb vegan lasagna! It’s way too much for two people.”

Given that Brainia U had been isolated for decades, its population has subsisted off the left-behind non-perishables for the college-aged set. Fresh fruit and vegetables are a thing that only Pitstop Valley locals have. There are no resources or plan to get produce to Brainia U.

Thankfully, Faith has brought enough spices, vinegars, tomato paste and nutritional yeast to make any food taste homemade. Or at least less like packaged ramen noodles and canned vegetables.

“Bettina! Where is my microplane!”

“Your what?”

“My microplane! With the green handle? Did you put it in a funny spot?

“What?! You…something about a tiny plane?”

“What?! No, a microPLA – oh, found it.”

“Bettina. Guess who I talked to at the quad today. Guess.”

“Uh, I don’t know Faith. You’re kind of keeping company with a few different dudes right now.”

“Ah, ahHA! HA! You’re so funny. Like, hilarious. But no, guess.”

“Uh…”

“John Choi.”

“Oh my gosh, fuck you! No, you didn’t!”

“I did!”

        Yes, John Choi. This pink-hatted, monocled man is a high-value slice at Brainia U.

“So, John, why pink? Such a powerful color.”

“Pink speaks to me, you know? And I guess it’s speaking to everyone else too.”

“I mean I also saw your friend Skylar on campus, later on.”

“Oh, he’s cute! Why don’t you ask him out?!”

“Oh, I dunno…”

“He likes you Faith! He’s totally smart, and he’s in our history lecture – “

“Oh man, that professor has such a droning voice I fall asleep every time! Why have a lecture right at 2pm? That’s nap time.”

“Ask Skylar to take notes for you! That’s how you can start talking to him!”

“Well, then why don’t you date him, if he’s so great?”

“He likes you Faith! You’re gonna scare him off by being – “

“By being what, Bettina!”

Faith’s keeping her options open. As a Family sim, the end goal is marriage. Obviously.

  “So, you’re not worried about prolonged hot tub exposure and your future sperm production?”

“My…my what?!”

“What do you mean you do use your laptop right on your lap?! Don’t you know that’s a recipe for low-yielding baby gravy?!”

Faith has many options.

All she has to do is choose and make her move.

Provided that all parties agree to the arrangement.

“You calling me a hoe Bettina? Because that’s fine! At least I am putting myself out there.”

Even so, Faith’s not much of a charmer.

So, it remains to be seen if Faith “putting herself out there” will produce any worthwhile relationships.

“Faith you are impossible. I love you. Dumbass.”

“Of course, you do. What about you? What about your dude, that guy from your biology lab? SeaBass?”

“Can you not call him that?! His name is Sebastian.”

“I’m working on him, okay?”

“He’s a warlock, you know? Him and his twin. Like, my mom is kind of old fashioned when it comes to magic stuff, but male witches do exist, they are just like, more rare? And his twin – “

“Ooh, a twin? Should we double date? OOH! Double wedding ceremony?!”

“Listen! I haven’t even like…like, okay I am working on it. I think Seb knows that I like him.”

“He’s just like, shy or whatever. Maybe they do things differently in Pleasantview.”

“Or he’s some kind of freak. Or his dick doesn’t work. Or he’s blind.”

   “My focus is on school. If something happens with Seb, so be it.”

“Okay, sure grandma. But like, have fun and look around. What’s the harm?”

“It’s a numbers game, babes.”

“You failed our 11th grade math class.”

“It’s simple numbers. You cast a wide net and you pull some back. I’m being economical.”

“Um, how? And didn’t you fail economics too?”

“Fuck off! I got a C-.”

“Maybe you should be a little more…selective? Like, I get wanting to see what’s out there, but there’s some real duds dudes Faith. Why waste your time?”

“What do you mean? Like who?!”

“Like that guy you saw at the park on campus? Komei?”

“Ehh…shut up…”

“HA! How did that go down exactly?”

“He was nice enough! But he moved way too fast for me.”

“But! I also saw this other guy. Leo?”

“The guy with the shitty beard?! EW! Faith!”

“What! You are so judgmental!”

“I’m not committed to anyone right now. I have lots of options.”

“Marriage is the goal, though.”

Talk of boys aside, there is only one boy who has all the girls on campus losing it: John Choi.

No one can resist him, and boys want to be him. For some reason.

John Choi is more than “kinda okay”. He’s hot stuff!

Faith wants to talk to him.

As do all the other ladies on campus.

Fortune favors the brave!

“Gosh *blushes* I wish that were me!”

“Gosh, John Choi is so smooth.”

“Gosh…I wanted to hit on that blonde girl…”

No luck for Tempe. John Choi has claimed yet another First Kiss from a lucky dormie.

Faith is not deterred; she’s a practical gal and takes the opportunity to chat with the competition. She finds out from Blonde Dormie the coffee shop Mr. John Choi frequents and takes Bettina along for a scouting mission.

“Shit, she was right, he’s here!”

“Shh! Let’s get an espresso.”

Bettina ends up having a front row seat to this scene, however. John Choi to the rescue.

“Balls. Look at that. We will never have a chance with John Choi now…”

“Lucky bitch.”

Tina Sell is the lucky bitch in question.

“Well, we still got coffee and the day is young. What next?”

“Don’t you have to like, go to class or something Faith?”

“So…your hair feels like wool, right? Can I touch it?”

“Never mind Bettina. Let’s fucking leave.”

      Luckily, Brainia U is full of marriage prospects for Faith. Like Skylar here. He and Bettina are pals. They met engaging in some after class activities. 

Somehow, against all odds and logic.

Faith nabs a First Kiss from Skylar!

Skylar’s a pragmatic guy, it turns out.

“So, your plans after school are to try and make it as an actress?”

“Or a singer. Or both! I could always fall back on modeling too, I suppose.”

“Hm. So, what’s Pitstop Valley like? I’ve never left Bluewater Village until I came to school.”

“Uh, I don’t know it’s fine, I guess? Small town, nothing to do, but my parents live there.”

“Hm. So kind of a landing spot until you figure things out, yeah?”

“What’s with all the questions, Skylar?”

“Just thinking about today’s history lecture. I mean, we are the first class that Brainia U has had in 65 years. That’s only because of the work that your mom and your aunt Mercy did. Getting the school set back up for students, getting the students here, getting faculty – “

“What the fuck? Did you just come over because you wanted to kiss the girl with the semi-famous mom? That’s kinda – “

“Don’t you worry about the future? About the future of Pitstop Valley? You guys have an active militia, everyone can go to school, you have an athletic team! You guys have actual fruit and vegetables – you know not everyone has that, right?

I’m just saying, Pitstop Valley has the potential to do even more. Don’t you think about that? Don’t you want to be a part of that? I would.”

“Uh, I’m going to dance class. See ya Skylar.”

“I don’t think that Faith likes me, Bettina.”

*zzzz* - “..wha? Oh, she does Sky, she just has a funny way of showing it.” *zzz*

     Faith is a complex young lady. She spends a lot of time on campus husband hunting, but she also is a huge fan of the campus Cinema. She considers it research, but also a way to meet people.

“Hey, can I sit here?”

“No.”

“What I am saying, is if multiple scenes in a row are shot at Dutch angles, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of what a Dutch angle is supposed to mean? If it’s all Dutch angles, then is the spooky and unsettling tone of the scene actually the ‘norm’ of that universe? You know?”

“What do you mean! Give me an example.”

“Well, like in Battlefield Earth – “

“What, that piece of trash! You can’t – “

“Just because a piece of art is bad, does not mean it can’t be a part of a discussion about how an art form is portrayed. Like, if – “

“Faith, what about – “

“Shut up Tempe. Anyway – "

“What, so we should take a critical lens to every romance novel and kids movie? Is that what you’re saying?!”

“No. What I am saying is that movies, books, plays, whatever – it doesn’t have to be ‘art’ to be viewed with a critical lens.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“I can’t say I agree. Art reflects the time it was made in. Pop culture is important.”

“Yeah right!”

Not everyone likes healthy intellectual debate.

“Ugh, is this a commercial for perfume or a new Terrance Malick movie?! Someone get me the remote.”

Bettina has a weekly call with her mother, on Tuesdays after her Biology lab.

“Hey ma! This is Brainia U calling.”

“Hiiiii baby! HI! Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice! What’s new? How’s the semester?”

“Oh god, I adjusted my microscope too fast in my biology lab today and totally cracked the cover slip and the slide beneath it. Total rookie mistake, so embarrassing.”

“Aww, well I am sure you didn’t mean it!”

“I sure did not! Embarrassing though…anyway, can I ask you a witch-related question?”

“Baby, of course! Are you finally thinking about following the family tradition?!”

“Haha, maaaa, when you say it like that it makes me not want to tell you about this, haha.”

“Oh! Ha, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll shut up. What is it?”

“Well, I know that you know that clean up spell? For cleaning? I’d like to learn it.”

“Oh of course hun! But you know, it’s really more for water-based messes. Can I ask why?”

“Well, I wanted to know about that spell kinda for selfish reasons.”

“Faith makes a lot of food in our house, but she leaves behind hella dishes! And I’m tired of it, sometimes I don’t want to have to wash a fork, you know?”

“I mean, it’s not that I don’t appreciate the food. Like, who makes pancakes that as leftovers that taste good! I’m not complaining.”

“Good! You’d better not complain. That’s my grandpa Patrick’s Crème de la orange pancake recipe. You’d be some sort of tastebud-less freak if you didn’t like it.”

“Is that Faith? Tell her I said hi! Gosh, she still has quite the mouth on her. Has she heard any news from her mother?”

“…wait, what? What do you mean ‘news’?”

“Well, I love our weekly calls, I just love hearing from my baby girl! But you know, I don’t know what the relationship is like with Faith and her mother? So, I was just wondering, since she’s left, if Faith has heard from her at all?”

“Ma, what are you talking about? She left? What do you mean ‘left’?

“Oh! So, Faith doesn’t know about this. I’m sorry Bettina! I thought that Faith knew! Does she not know?”

“MOM. What are you talking about? What happened to Genesis?”

“Well, you know I got in the helicopter with Mercy after we left Brainia U, and Genesis was not in the helicopter with us! Mercy said that she’d decided to do some on-campus research.”

“Uh, okay, so she’s here at school then?”

“Well, that’s the thing – we aren’t really sure? I mean I talked to Mercy about it, and – well you know I just adore her, but something seemed off, you know? Like, she seemed a little shaken up, and I asked her about this on-campus research that Genesis would be doing, and Mercy was pretty tight-lipped about it. And the other day, I was visiting Cheyenne – oh! They took Binx’s last kitten, the one with the orange ears! So cute! She’s got –“

“Ma. Ma! About Genesis?”

“Ah? Oh! Yeah, so, anyway, so it seems like Genesis didn’t tell Justice she would be leaving? Justice is all alone in that house.”

“Oh. Um, weird. Like, is he okay to be alone? I know he’s kinda loopy and whatever.”

“Well, you know as resident ‘Good Witch’ I am checking up on him, but I can only do so much, you know? Actually, the intern at Pitstop Radio, she’s well uh, I’ll need to talk to her again, but she – "

“Mom, so like, Mr. Springs-Eternal is all alone and like, Genesis is here at campus?”

“Yes, I think so! It’s just that it doesn’t seem like she let Justice know ahead of time? I was concerned, and Mercy doesn’t seem to know a whole lot about the situation either. I was wondering if it was something that was discussed with Faith and Tempe.”

“Um, like, I don’t think so…I’ll talk to Faith about it.”

“Hey Faith? I –“

“It’s whipped chickpea tofu in the pancakes, if you were wondering.”

“…wha? Oh, okay that’s…no, I wanted to talk to you about your mom.”

“Ha, what? What about my mom?”

“Well, I had my call with my mom and…did you know she’s not at home right now? Like, your dad is alone at home?”

“What do you mean she’s not ‘at home’?”

“Well, my mom said that your mom hasn’t been at home, she’s doing some on-campus research, but like, it doesn’t seem like she told your dad? Or like…did you know about this?”

“Oh what, so she’s been here, and she hasn’t told me, or paid me a visit? Ha! Sounds like something she would do. She’s like, obsessed with work. Whatever.”

“So…that doesn’t bother you? You didn’t know that she wasn’t at home?”

“Um, no? Like, she’s obsessed with the whole thing of like ‘educating the future’. And like, liking human beings as a concept but not like, in practice ya know? No wonder she got abducted.”

“Jeez Faith, that’s kinda harsh.”

  In addition to feeding her roommate, Faith is a natural teacher. Though she would not admit to following in her mother’s footsteps.

Specifically, she wants to teach Bettina how to kick some ass. Because guys like buff girls. According to Faith.

“Okay now reach back and STRIKE! Don’t twist at the waist and don’t lean in too far. We need to develop your weak right hook.”

“Oh, um…hi-YAH!”

“Yes! Now, less floppy with the wrist. Again!”

A little self defense could come in handy at Brainia U.

“Howdy-hey! Are you able to support our team this Saturday?! It’s the quarter finals! How are you not totally pumped about this?!”

“Hey, no offense, but you’re being kind of distracting. We need to finish up this lab report.”

“Babba chooda rum, Babba chooda Ka, Veedum adda beedum adda bonk bonk bonk! Verbits, Verbits, VO GERBITS!”

“Uh, heh, yeah, yeah…okay? We uh, we taking a break? If that’s the case, I am going to play some SSX 3 dude…”

“Hey, Bettina, come sit. Sit! You’re working too hard on that report…

…where did you get that sweater? It’s nice and all, but like…it doesn’t show off your figure? Just saying…”

“…I’m going to make myself a sandwich…you can go…”

Babba chooda rum, Babba chooda Ka, Veedum adda beedum adda bonk bonk bonk! Verbits, Verbits, VO GERBITS!

*zzz* “Huh? EH?! God, you’re still here?!”

Luckily, Bettina’s roommate has a more direct way of getting rid of unwanted guests.

“Hey! Vo Gerbits! Excited for the quarter finals?”

“Well yeah! I’ve got a new routine and me and the other mascots – “

“Hey so…you seem like a man who knows what he wants. And I know what I want.

You know, most fragrances cover up a man’s real smell, you know? I’ll bet you don’t mind working up a sweat. A man’s sweat. I’d love the opportunity to – “

“Whoa, heh, okay, heh, okay! Um, I um, I – you know, I think I’m late for practice?”

…

“You are literally a psycho.”

“Well, it worked, didn’t it? That guy was being a total creep.

…

You want tofu bahn mi? I’m starving.”

Faith continues ponder the husband question. Serdar aka Fancy man is interrupted by her on his way to class.

Faith knows an interesting prospect when she sees one. She takes the opportunity to get to know him better.

“Hey! Serdar, right? You’re in my costuming class? Man, when are we going to actually move on to using sewing machines, you know? I’m sick of mending. If I have to fix another buttonhole, I’ll die.”

“No kidding! I’m not an infant, I don’t need to go over how to do a blanket stitch.”

“Hah, right?!”

Serdar proves to be quite the interesting person. He and Faith share a love of fashion. And Faith’s other favorite hobby, cooking.

“Why not become a chef, Faith? Those were some awesome peanut noodles! What was that acidic element…champagne vinegar?”

“Oh, you’re too sweet! But, no, just regular sherry vinegar. I’d never be a chef though. Late hours, burns on my arms all of the time…not to mention, dealing with all of that kitchen machismo. No offense.”

“None taken!”

“Though you know, I could always put out a cookbook myself! Later on, after I’ve had my acting career? Plus, what I really like to do is cook for friends and family, not like, the masses.”

Serdar turns out to be more friend material than anything. Faith does not mind, however. She’s in need of positive friends who build her up.

“Okay…least favorite fake blood in a movie. Go.”

“Oh! Um…Taxi Driver. It’s awful. It looks like liquid strawberry jelly. Maybe they did that for the rating.”

“Naw, Taxi Driver got an R. But good pick!”

“Thanks! Okay…what’s the best fake blood you’ve seen in a movie Serdar?”

…

“12 Monkeys.”

“REAlly! It’s…oh yeah, at the end, the scene in the airport! Shit, good choice.”

“Have you thought about what you want your short play to be about for your capstone project? I think a riff on a scream queen thing could be totally doable.”

“Well, I am really considering like a Southern Gothic, Tennessee Williams thing, but I’m worried that that would be too ambitious...”

“No, that sounds awesome! You could totally pull that off. Would it be a spoken word thing?”

“Bettina, move, I gotta shower.”

“You have someone over last night to play chess? Huh, looks like a good game.”

“Yeah, Serdar, you know him? He’s pretty cool actually.”

“Oh, you mean Fancy Man? Reallyyyy. So, you’re interested in him then?”

“No no, not like that. We’re just homies.”

“Plus, I think Serdar is gay.”

“What, just because the guy has a kooky sense a style?! That’s kind of close-minded Faith.”

“No, it’s not because of that! I think he is though. I have a feeling he is, even if he doesn’t know it.”

“Uh huh, sure. “

“How’s it going with your dude?”

“Ugh, nowhere?! He’s like, I don’t know what to do…he’s shy and I’m shy! I want him to make a move…but only if he likes me back. It’s hopeless.”

“Bettina, I have an idea.

Let’s invite our History lecture out to the Culinary Arts building, and I’m going to make some food and you are going to invite SeaBass and he is going to fall in love with you.”

“Don’t call him – wait…yeah, no, yeah! That’s a good idea. It will be like, low-key, low-pressure group hang thing, yeah?”

“Exactly.”

            While the girls can’t have parties (Show Business restriction), there’s no rule against to going to  community lot to hang out with whomever is there.

Especially if a certain young Pleasantview warlock is there. 

Faith breaks out her grilled kim-cheese sandwiches, naturally.

“Sebastian! H-Hey! Can I ask you a magic-related question? I think you’d know more about this than me.”

“Hi! Sure!”

“Ha, heh, okay! So Aqua Deletus – can that spell apply to more things other than just puddles of water? I am curious. And what would I need exactly?”

“Oh, sure! Really, you just have to adjust the end incantation and make sure you have more Eye of Newt than you’d think you’d need.”

“Wow, sounds easy! Like um, could you like, help me out with that? I don’t have a cauldron. Could…do you have one? Could you show me how to use it?”

“You…would want to come over? So that I can show you?”

Yes. That is indeed what Bettina was hinting at.

“Kim-cheese sandwiches get it done! It’s the husband maker.”

“I think that other than being famous, that this is what I want to do with my life. Throw parties where I cook for people.”

“Um, I’m sorry, who are you?  I don’t like spicy food.”

“I think that other than being famous, that this is what I want to do with my life. Throw parties where I cook for people.”

“Uh, yeah! Thanks for the sandwich, Faith.”

Faith’s really into anyone who likes her food.

“Gosh, you know Sean – “

“Um, my name is Shea?”

“You know Steve – I could get used to this. I just love entertaining! What better way to spend an afternoon than being with people you want to have around, eating, drinking and being merry?”

~~~

That will do it for this chapter!

Who will Faith choose for a future spouse? Will Bettina get to learn some magic? Will ‘magic’ happen between her and Sebastian Dreamer? Is Faith going to share her grandpa Patrick’s Crème de la orange pancake recipe?

Until next time, Carry On, Woman!