#and my mom seemed p disappointed when i didnt like the idea

[dollfairy]

my mom was like "I've been thinking about all the work that goes into Christmas and all these traditions, and why we do it all...like are we actually enjoying this? do we really want to do this?" and I thought it was leading to LESS obligation to do a bunch of shit I hate for the sake of tradition....and then my mom was like "what if one year we all went on vacation somewhere for a week for Christmas instead"

ma'am that is SO much more of a commitment to ask from me

a week stuck traveling with my two ultra-normie parents in their 70s, using up one of my THREE weeks off for the whole year???

[offical-ranter]

SPOILERS FOR MS. MARVEL

ok guys i expected this show to be pretty average.. nope. it was great. just 1 episode in and its already one of my favorite marvel shows. heres a bit of my thoughts on it -its so cool to see more representation. im not Muslim or Pakistani so i cant say anything about those aspects (tho im sure u could find stuff about it online from those more knowledgeable) other than its great to see other cultures and languages in a production like this. and like MoonKight they had what i assume to be cultural music, which was also rlly cool -ITS SO RELATABLE! LIKE SKDFJSGS;, i dont have the words. the fact that she daydreams all day about being a superhero, doodles during class, is a literal fangirl, and has parents who doesnt understand what she likes, is. so. relatable. this is the most ive ever seen myself in a marvel character, which is kinda the point of the show. but still. i was watching her talk about making her cosplay and looking at fanart and its just, i do those things. i have marvel shirts and dream about going to cons. the amount of, just feeling, i felt when her mom completely shut down her plan to go to AvengerCon is just, immense. like wow, so many ppls parents judge their kids for the things they like. the scene where Kamala tried to put something around her hips after her mom told her the outfit was too skimpy or tight (without even seeing it i might add) was something i just immediately felt. she didnt even need to monologue about why she felt the need to do it, i could instantly understand based on her action and expression. i cant put into words how this feels like a show that just gets us -her friendship with Bruno (im still not over that song why would u do this to me Disney). its so accurate to how friendship is and its so wholesome to watch. Kamala feeling out of place in school and being quite to meeting with Bruno and talking about the con? thats great, thats the friendships i wanna see. there was no romance, tho there may be based on the look they shared on the roof, but im surprisingly open to it. i usually never like romance in action based shows but they understand each other so well. their struggles and dreams, like even if their love is just platonic its still there. and i love to watch it (not to mention its the literal perfect superhero partner dynamic, the one who fights and the one in the chair) -the directing. ive had a lot of problems with Disney directing as of late (cough cough Boba Fett) but marvel shows have always been fine. WandaVision was rlly unique in its idea, so was Hawkeye, but none have stood out in just plain directing so far. until this. theres no weird shaky camera for no reason, no weird up close face shots (im looking at u The Falcon and the Winter Soldier), nothing like that. just good camera work and going 100% with the theme. the drawings coming to life on the walls and their texts becoming signs and Kamala's planning being animated/drawn. its like spider-verse and i love it. it seems so true to her character and the vibe of the show. reminds me of a movie i think exists where some guy in high school has the ability to make the things he draws real, but im not sure if i just made that up lol -references. some ppl call them easter eggs but either way their great. like me tell u i was screaming whenever i saw something from the greater mcu. even before the show started i noticed how MoonKight is now in the intro logo. there was a lot but some things i remember r the og captain america song at the con, the drawing mentioning his ass, also at the con, the trust a bro truck and original ms. marvel design as art during the end credits. im sure there was more and im kinda disappointed im not remembering them after just watching it -the mysteries. whyd the bracelet (idk if thats what its called but for now bracelet) give her powers? who r the ppl in the end scene (i dont think any other marvel show has had an end scene first ep)? will her old friend refriend her? OMG SHE STILL HAS THE POWER TO EXTEND HER LIMBS?? BUT NOW ITS LIKE CRYSTALS???

[scbines]

WORD okay what up i’m ally, i’m twenty1, i use she/her pronouns, my timezone is est & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. go to read this complete shit storm okay i’m Trying.. anywhen! i may or may not have uhhh copied & pasted the majority of this from the last time i played her but.. that’s neither her nor there, tbh! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord bhvfjn. MOVING ON..

cw: alcohol, neglect, sex ( & i think that’s it, folks! )

sab’s pinterest: here!

( sofia carson, cisfemale ) did you hear how SABINE VALDEZ is applying to columbia university as a PHILOSOPHY major ?! the TWENTY-ONE year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are +MAGNETIC and +INTREPID, but honestly i think SHE can be -FLIGHTY and -VOLATILE. they’re a real CATACLYSM. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end.

imma just dive right in cos idk how else to go about it bgvjn

sabine grew up w/ a single mom in Detroit & they were basically skating the line between lower class and poverty, meaning they had like a proper house, but they were definitely behind on mortgage always and living paycheck to paycheck :// like when they went grocery shopping & sab would put anything but the basics in the cart her mom would look at her like ‘that’s a joke, right?’ and never could afford like birthday/christmas presents or cake or anything rip ( honestly not that sab’s mom gave enough a shit to even notice smh ) ! so everything was always a little .. hectic ig ? her mom couldnt ever relax unless she was blackout drunk so uhh that’s p much that on that sighs

even worse?? when sab was about eleven her mom got injured at work ( dont ask me How cos i have? no idea hibgfnjd i’ll flesh it out at some point.. maybe .. probably not.. ) so she and sab lived on disability checks and whatever small money sab could make helping her neighbors with like yard work/babysitting/shit like that until she was old enough to get a real job smh meaning she’s been working as long as she can remember god im exhausted just typing it

this basically left sab to raise herself, which .. most likely left her better off than if her mom paid her more attention tbh? cos her mom is selfish and doesnt care about anything but the next drink & the next man she’ll be inviting home smh !! the whole thing w/ her mom is that she Never Wanted kids but it wasn’t an option to abort or give sab up for adoption so she was Stuck raising a kid she never wanted .. truly .. rip ..

that said, sab’s mom was .. promiscuous to say the least .. all thru sab’s childhood there were countless nameless men in and out of their lives ranging from a day to a few weeks at most SIGHS anyways this of course led to sab having a seriously warped idea of what a healthy relationship is HELLO hvicnjm it’s super flawed to the point where she thinks the height of healthy relationship goals is to be exclusive for more than a few weeks smfh its wild tbh .. romance? dont know her! love? WHOMST? to sabine, there’s no point in bothering to rely or care for someone else because you’ll just end up disappointed so she ? keeps her distance for the most part.. relying Solely on herself cos thats the only person who wont let her down ( while also suffering from deeply rooted self-hatred? wow .. legends only .. )

anyways !! she Hated detroit like nobody’s business and always wanted nothing more than to Get Away from the toxicity of her home life and the suffocation of being the caregiver for a woman who will hardly get out of her bed gtg !!! so this led to her putting all her focus into after school jobs and making sure she was the top of her class At All Times like .. shes always been super determined and goal oriented but to a fault if that makes sense. she will work her ass off when given reason to, but once she’s accomplished that goal, she feels absolutely aimless sighs

bitch had .. like 3 jobs in hs and applied to a dozen schools, all of them at least 100 miles from detroit like Word ! she applied to columbia on a whim not thinking she’d get in but when she got that acceptance letter you can bet ur ass the bitch was Outta There!!

getting here tho … she isnt sure what to do next ihbvfcnj she never thought as far as majors and actually choosing what to do with the rest of her life so she?????? is undetermined about p much everything hgvifncjd but philosophy seems like the cop out she’s been looking for lmao !!!

anyways she works at a shitty diner not too far from campus like almost every day after classes but on weekends she COUGHS strips across town hibvfncj HA didnt see that coming did ya smh hibfnjd but!! she does it across town cos she lk wants it to stay a secret like she doesnt need to kick a frat boy’s ass for making shitty comments now does she??? but i mean .. its not something she’s ashamed of, she’s just Not Interested in having people she hates talk shit and slut shame ygm??

being so busy all the time, she doesn’t really have time for any school activities but she’s down for a party at any time ( esp if its like themed hbifnjd she loves a costume ) and uhh dtf too lbr shes v in touch w/ her sexuality #freethenipple ( does she even own a single bra?? we just don’t know! )

THAT SAID !! she doesnt correlate sex with like .. emotions?? cos shes never seen them in a situation where they’re mutually exclusive rip :// this led to her thinking people only ever Wanted Something from her be it her body or like a chance to put her down to feel better abt themselves smh ! she isnt a generally violent person but if it’s the latter she’s more likely to throw a few choice words in ur direction hvifcnj

generally, sab’s p much just ur Stressed Out Scholarship Student just trying to graduate so her life isnt a fucking trainwreck like her mom’s! she’s desperate for both human affection and adventure, so offer her one, the other or both and her heart is yours tbh! as much as she’ll pretend its not lmao !!1!1!!!!

anywhomst i cannot for the life of me think of anything else to type her atm since im??? garbage???? but !! mssg me if u wanna plot smthn out fam since uhh sab having friends??? sounds like a pipe dream tbh and im desperate for it lol!

[sondersil]

dream log Nr. -004

02/06/2022 (extracted from a chat, unstructured)

hade:

Start is muddy, but I remember kind of playing a dungeon (albeit in real life) that was like a slaughter arena. You walked in, there were rows upon rows of enemies, and at first only a few would come to life, then suddenly all at once would rain upon you. We were 4 players as usual, but when all activated one player kind of ran away to hide into a corner so they wouldnt be found and couldnt lose. They looked like one of those nurses from Silent Hill but with their head in Bandages and they did the hands by their side flail walk like in Attack on Titan. Needless to say, we absolutely lost and got demolished.

I think I remember texting or calling you afterwards that this dungeon was hella dope, and there were these "real life profile altars" that you could customize and people could see, and mine was dark purple with flowy fabrics & three minis in it.

Eventually I think Daniel, Kendra, Kevin and some others walk by and we go for a stroll or something, to my house. You were eventually also there I think, this part is the blurriest. It was all very dark, but eventually we get to my house which is just a room, and it turns out you were somehow trying to put together a surprise party for my birthday but I am in denial like "nahhh, its not my birthday" because I was uncomfortable with the attention. Weirdly there were two people there that I follow on Instagram (they look very gothic in this dream, based on a historic fashion outfit reel they did) and I talk to the dude as we're having cake but I dont remember much about this.

 .

Tuffi:

so you got your ass kicked in the real life dungeon and texted me it was hella dope?

 .

hade:

the loss sucked and I vented about how it was annoying that one person just hid to let us do the work, but the way the dungeon was designed was hella dope & we should try it ahain later :P

 .

Tuffi:

haha

nice

what role did you play?

were you like aescus?

or was it different?

 .

hade:

Anyways this whole gothic surprise tea party at my place turns into.. hm, I dont understand where, why, or how it flipped but eventually there is Butcher from The Boys, he's kind of my dad, and he's trying to get me away from his ex-wife and to come life with him on a farm because she was acting crazy. It was almost in an elongated barn type thing, and he was so angry at her for just disappearing on him and disappointed by what she's become

she was moving really strangely, only as if trying to act human, sometimes she'd end up on all fours, jumping at the wall or the window like a spider, pleading with him to let me stay, but in a way that spelled danger and "bad idea"

so he takes me with him to a farm where I had a sister and a brother I think, he stayed as my dad but turned into someone else when we got there (bigger belly, softer face), and either his ex wife as mom turned into a different mom eventually or there was a new one eventually.. I dont remember

we also had a dog called Yogi (so the same as my moms) but he was an old sad looking golden retriever in this one

it was a very small house and we lived in what I would describe as comfortable poverty

sometimes people went missing but would reappear

I would spend a lot of time with Yogi getting to know him, cuddling him, befriending him, feeding him, because everyone else seemed to neglect him, he was always in a certain shed, and if he was anywhere else he'd run around hyperactively

eventually we got another dog, looking identical to Yogi but younger and female, and her name was something starting with an N or an L, but in the dream I kept forgetting her name, then it would come back, and so on

I'd now split my time between the two of them, and the dogs didnt seem to like each other much, Yogi out of jealousy it seemes

there was one day I was spending a bit more time with the female dog and Yogi broke out because he was jealous to find us

I realized I hadnt gone to yogi get and felt super bad and followed him when he darted toward the neighbours that had just moved in who were holding a wedding in their backyard that had super tall grass

so they were clearing some of the grass to have space, and yogi seemed excited and hyper despite his upset so he ran there

I ran after him and a man was standing at the corner fence connecting our properties

I profusely apologized to him for my dog and realized that I couldnt get yogi to stay on our property because the fence was just two wires and he got thru, so I asked if it was okay if Yogi joined the wedding

and the man said sure! no problem for Yogi to stick around for the celebrations or to come around since he seemed to lively. The man also said we could come by I think, then he showed me a card with his name on it which was a Co-worker from (supermarket I work at) so I was like "Oh! I also work there!", his name was something along the lines of Sanvri

uhh...

ah okay, I almost forgot

so, Yogi was fine to stay for the celebration and I was reliefed that they wouldnt be upset at Yogi darting around

at this time one of my siblings had also disappeared I think (the sister)

he also invited us to come as well, so I go back to my family and tell them that we are allowed to join them for the wedding as well

before the wedding my mother and I are sitting at a kid’s table hidden in some bushed, I'm eating a weird stringy salad out of a can (like algae salad) and Yogi or the other dog is there as well, this was actually I think when Yogi ran to the wedding, but finished eating before I went there, I"m not sure anymore

I'd also seen a weird thing around that was like a big great ball (like a yoga ball) on legs

almost as if there was a monster either among us, or hunting us, I couldnt be certain

so we go to the wedding with my brother, mom, dad, and some other dude we bring along

and we are now in a weirdly white sterile room, only large enough to fit a dinner table, with a door leading into the next room where the wedding was, and we are there to eat

my brother has a black bandage on his left leg up to his knee with what seems like a bow with a square plate in it

the host asks us if he has a certain illness (because it is highly contagious, and he would have to leave as to avoid risking his kids getting it) called something "shield" and my dad replies no, that it's something else, some unnamed illness every farm boy gets at some point (the host leaves, satisfied with that) and we all suddenly get very suspicious, I start inquiring, saying that the square on the bandage bow looks very shield (wappen) like and that it seemed part of the illness rather than the bandage and dad tries deflecting

so I ask what the hell this illness is supposed to be called then if its literally common enough for every farm boy to get on their leg at some point

the dangerous illness was a weird black leg rot that apparently had this formation of an abcess that looked like this black bow with a square gem in it, and so brother had it

dad knowing he couldnt talk himself out of this got up

and we all suddenly knew that he was the impostor that was making my family disappear one by one

and he turned into

fucking Mike Wazowski

except kind of like a translucent Mike Wazowski where you could see all the blood vessels

Image

thats kind of when I realized I'm probably dreaming and it just became a cluster fuck of random happenings

Dad Butcher from the Boys turning into fucking Mike Wazowski, what is wrong with my brain

I think he ate one or two people

while I escaped

idk

a moment later everyone was back and we were in a national park where I was looking at the Direction Board, knowing what he was but everything was oddly fine, then I wooe up

I need to emphasize more how dingy everything was, the buildings were unlivable

also the dogs played a much bigger role but I cant describe those parts because of how blurry they are

I did forget to mention that eventually the female dog ran after yogi to the celebration, and suddenly they got along well

when dad turned the female dog hugged the shivering and scared yogi and hid his face in her fur so he wouldnt have to look

[catlantis]

1-100

im actually v surprised that anyone even looks at my blog... but do i go with honesty or wit?

yes

yes

i’m gonna work the system and say “complete control of time n space”

sadly no

i got v drunk on christmas eve and on christmas day i couldnt remember stories when my mom kept asking me about specific events

uhh we were young and i didnt have freedom so it seemed dumb and she left me

i wanna die in a forest with biodegradable clothes on

make more art and finish school and $$$

i like a lot of people

i try not to put pressure on others but i disappoint myself all the time

yes 

yes ive been a vegetarian for 8 years

open your mind 

yes, off and on doing different shit

do vegetables count? 

yes, i dont wanna commit to anything yet

a food that im craving, katie or the good stuff;)

yes

its been a while that someone has shown genuine interest

i cry when i thought about my life being in shambles a few days ago

yes its sort of a doodle journal, but there are some entries with words. im just not interested in anyone im around knowing how i feel

duh

totally

either a vw van or some old bmw/audi

yes but not a deal breaker

my crush is one of a kind

hacksaw ridge was cool but not mind blowing, high maintenence is better tbh but its a show on hbo

telling my mom i had one beer instead of two :P

well i do some really dumb shit so its a tie with my whole life

no but i find it easier to cry alone

i have a few paintings im proud of i guess

i’d rather have an ipa

nihilism

yes

relatively neg

maybe id name my son after me but i def dont wanna plan too far ahead

moneyyyyyy

yes, one personal and several idealistic

my grandma gave me $20 today lol

i gave katie a soap kitten yesterday

bonnaroo sadly

the internet 

keith haring

14?

14?

16

i have a vague recollection of kindergarten but other than that 7th grade

no idea

duh

okay ill post it separately

katie

the police

philosophy/art

nothing matters

i wish i knew

yes, i am weak often :/

i mean i am attracted to physical things and mental things

refer to q 20

mushrooms & olives to start

always

eye contact and full attention

almost 7 years

assholes, dirty, bad emotional skills

pass

independence

a fit of rage then crying

yea, i keep an open mind

im living to experience all there is

a ton

already been asked

yes but i feel bad

yes ;)

yes

gummies

i used to visit @bitchcraft and @ sweatyfinger 

candy crush on my phone and minesweeper on pc

game of thrones rn

nope

im still reading keith harings journal and i read it for inspiration

im living it

since middle school

i love it

uhhh neither but lowkey subway

vodka? i still like ipa the most

DRUGS

just out of state

i like cats and science i guess

traditional american values

well i get insulted when my dad spews anti gay rhetoric

well there are plenty

anything with beebs

sadly snapchat/candy crush/instagram

sky blue

yes and Adam22 or Joe Rogan

i hate favorites, just look at any quote on my blog

to live, duh

yes 

yep

yes i am different

your secret is safe in my head with mine